Thesis Outline Critique for X

Thesis Title:

General Comments
Overall flow of the paper is good. The proponent started with basic concepts and moved to
specific ones.
There is indeed a gap in the law but this panel failed to appreciate the urgency to resolve
the legal problem. Isnt having a trademark dilution law a little too restrictive considering
that the Philippines is a developing country?
Isnt having a trademark dilution law a little too restrictive considering that the Philippines
is a developing country? The Constitution adopts a policy of protecting domestic
commerce. Will a trademark dilution law be then against public policy?

Strength/s
There is a legal issue and there is a gap in the law which needs to be addressed. However,
the Chapter 1 fails to provide an overview of the impact of a trademark dilution law to
weaker brands.
How can this thesis benefit weaker brands?
The issue is: whether the concept of dilution which required a federal statute in
the United States, can be implemented in the Philippines through a Supreme Court
ruling. Is the case law enough to raise subsequent cases of trademark dilution?
This panel thinks that the proponent needs to frame the issue better because it
is basic knowledge that the SC cannot make laws through judicial legislation.
The proponent provided examples on the difference between trademark infringement and
trademark dilution. However, the difference between trademark infringement and
trademark dilution in relation to unfair competition is not clear to this panel. Are the three
concepts mutually exclusive?

Room for Improvement

The proponent can expound on the importance of trademark in trade and commerce so the
reader can understand where the problem is coming from.
What is a goodwill? The proponent thinks that the Chapter 1 lacks an overview of goodwill
in relation to trademark.
Some sentences need better construction.
How about intention? Is intention material?
The proponent did not provide an explanation as to why internet domain names are
excluded from the scope of the study considering that in the current internet age domain
names are often the subject of legal disputes. The US case Panavision International v.
Toeppen is an illustrative case.

Recommendation/s
Please use proper citation format. The published version of a case is preferable to be cited
rather than the G.R. number. Also include the page number.
Please proofread further.