Fall

08
Fall
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Social Media and Narcissism

Caitlin Gordon
Fall 2016

Senior Thesis Paper

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Introduction

Social media is more relevant than ever before and the impact it has

on peoples lives is constantly increasing. According to Panek, Nardis, and

Konrath, social networking sites (SNS) currently account for nearly one

quarter of the total time spent online, and almost 80% of Internet users

report some SNS use. (2013) Social media sites are continually being

created, updated, and expanded in order to reach more consumers

worldwide. Social media has become such an important aspect of peoples

daily lives that it now shapes the way people behave, communicate, and

even feel about themselves. In a CBS News article, social media played such

a significant role in Jennifer Christine Harris life that it drove her to take

extreme behavioral measures against her neighbor, Nikki Rasmussen.

According to the Register, Harris had been close friends with one of the

inhabitants, Nikki Rasmussen, until they began fighting recently over

comments Harris allegedly made about Rasmussen over Facebook, (Staff,

2011) causing Rasmussen to unfriend and block Harris. The social media

argument then escalated to the point that Harris was ultimately charged with

first-degree arson for burning down Rasmussens house. Anger is not the

only behavior caused by social media sites, as social media also invokes the

characteristic of narcissism among its users. According to Psychology Today,

Narcissists generally believe that the world revolves around them (2015,

December 27) and are easily angered, especially when they dont receive

the attention they consider their birthright. (2016, October 27) In the matter
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between Harris and Rasmussen, Harris definitely exhibits traits of a

narcissist. Harris believed she was an important person, if not the most

important person, in Rasmussens life. When Rasmussen unfriended and

blocked Harris on Facebook, it made Harris feel unimportant which angered

her and drove her to burn down Rasmussens house. According to Psychology

Today, narcissistic individuals tend to be sensation seeking, impulsive,

demanding, manipulative, self-centered, cocky but defensive when their self-

esteem is threatened, and concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes, such

as fame. (2015, December 27) Narcissistic individuals also utilize social

media for self-promotion and to show off the glamorous aspects of their lives

to their family, friends, and social media contacts (Panek, Nardis, Konrath,

2013.) A narcissistic individual that has a strong connection to social media

can also create other negative consequences, such as ruined relationships, a

negative self-image, the false reality of the perfect life, and obsession and

anger. This paper will explain that, through the use and obsession of social

media, relationships are crumbling, obtaining the perfect look is driving

individuals to get plastic surgery and develop eating disorders, people go to

extremes to make their lives appear one way, when in reality their lives are

completely different, and the obsession of being on social media and looking

at others profiles, posts, and pictures is impacting the way people live and

creating disorders.

Narcissism and relationships

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Narcissism, with the use of social media, has been shown to negatively

affect romantic relationships and friendships. Since narcissism is known to

be associated with the use of personal interaction as a means for self-

enhancement and self-promotion it can prevent individuals from forming

long-term intimate relationships and otherwise impair individuals abilities to

form healthy interpersonal relationships. (Panek, Nardis, Konrath, 2013)

Narcissists number one priority is to maintain their relationship with social

media. Narcissists thrive on online communities consisting of shallow

relationships, as they have complete control over their self-presentation -

which means that they can present themselves in an indefinite number of

ways. (Sheldon, Bryant, 2016) Narcissists social media habits ruin romantic

relationships in several ways. According to the article How Social Media Is

Ruining Relationships, narcissists spend so much time on their phones

checking and updating social media that they cannot form personal lasting

relationships and they miss out on the real experience of dating. The reason

they cannot form lasting relationships is because the social media obsession

has taken away their social interaction skills and their ability to have a

genuine conversation or connection. (2015, September 8) Narcissists

obsessed with social media enjoy conversations focused on these platforms,

which prohibits the narcissist from truly connecting with other people.

Individuals with this disorder like the idea of being in a relationship because

they can promote and further the affair on social media instead of actually

living and developing an intimate connection. Narcissists also tend to ruin

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their relationships by using social media so much that nothing remains

private or personal. (Quinn, 2016) Everyone connected to the narcissists

social media knows everything about their dating relationship, which causes

conflict between the dating couple. People with this disorder are shallow

when it comes to looking for companions because they use relationships to

augment their popularity. (Halpern, Valenzuela, Katz, 2016) Narcissists need

their significant other to be the best of everything so that they can proudly

showcase their companion on social media elevating their social status.

Narcissists also tend to ruin relationships by acting out in extreme rages over

the smallest issues, which do not phase normal people. If a narcissists

significant other posts a photo, or if the significant other posts about the

narcissist, then the narcissist may exhibit extreme reactions when their

grandiose self-concept is threatened. (Ryan, Weikel, Sprenchini, 2008). The

way narcissists present themselves on social media is the only way they

want others to view them and when that picture might change, they become

enraged. The last way narcissists use social media to ruin their relationships

is they create an unrealistic image of themselves online that usually cant be

fulfilled in person (Wickel, 2015.) If a narcissist meets up with online friends

or a potential companion in person, there is an expectation that they will

look the same as their photos and have the personality that was promoted

online. Usually however, the photo and personality, or one of the two, do not

match what has been observed on social media. (Miller, Widiger, 2010)
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Friendship is based on companionship, trust, support, disclosure,

communication, validation, conflict and betrayal. (Zhou, Zhang, Zeng, 2012)

Narcissists have a hard time forming and maintaining friendships because

they cannot offer their friends what is needed to establish a trusting

friendship. People with this disorder always want to surpass their friends on

social media whether it be looks or material objects. If a narcissistic

individual sees himself or herself being outperformed by a friend, narcissists

actively decrease closeness with that friend. (Peterson, DeHart, 2014)

Another way social media ruins friendships is by narcissists acting out when

they see that they were not invited to an event that was promoted on social

media. Social media has made learning of someones exclusion from an

event very easy because people share interpersonal information at a very

rapid rate and now, nearly everything that an individual does on SNS can be

broadcasted in real-time to the entire network. (Ahn, Kwolek, Bowman,

2015) Research has revealed that when a narcissist sees that they were not

invited to a group gathering they get angry and aggressive. (Peterson,

DeHart, 2014) Being angry and aggressive over small things pushes friends

away. Narcissists use social media to brag that they are better than everyone

else, even if they are not, and to also bully or berate their friends. (Eksi,

2012) Narcissists are known to use the better than average effect, or the

belief that one is better than the average individual on a given attribute

(e.g., intelligence, attractiveness). (Miller, Widiger, Campbell, 2010)

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Narcissists will have a hard time making friends stick around if they cannot

give their friends validation that they see them as equal.

Narcissism and self-image

Narcissists have a false self-esteem that many people cannot identify

at first glance. Most of society cannot initially pinpoint narcissists false self-

esteem because narcissists exert a magnificent amount of confidence.

Narcissistic individuals project an extremely positive view of their self, but

their view of self is also extremely sensitive. (Gardner, Pierce, 2011) On the

exterior, narcissists are very confident with their self-image and have an

incredible sense of self-esteem, which is ones sense of personal worth and

value that a person associates with themselves. (Ahn, Kwolek, Bowman,

2015) On the interior, narcissists have a fragile sense of self-esteem that

constantly seeks reassurance and feedback. Narcissists use social media to

get their needed feedback, exercising mainly Facebook and Instagram to

promote their self-image. (MacDonald, 2014) Narcissists utilize Facebook to

post profile pictures that accentuate their attractiveness. (Sheldon, Bryant,

2016) People with this disorder are obsessed with promoting their perfect

self-image with studies showing that narcissism is positively and

significantly related to the amount of time that participants spend editing

photos before posting them. (Sheldon, Bryant, 2015) Narcissistic individuals

spend hours using social media outlets to make themselves look better when

most people spend only a minimal amount of time readying their pictures for

posting. (Sheldon, Bryant, 2016) Narcissists can manipulate their photos by

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using filters, enhancing brightness and using apps such as InstaBeauty,

which allows a user to brighten teeth, erase blemishes and even change the

shape of their lips, cheeks and eyebrows.

Social media has driven narcissists to have two mindsets. The first

attitude of I need to be beautiful has driven many narcissistic people to get

plastic surgery. (Yamamiya, Cash, Melnyk, Posavac, 2005) Narcissistic

individuals need to be able to post perfection on social media and plastic

surgery has allowed this to become possible. According to Zojaji, Arshadi,

Keshavarz, and others The face is the most important part of the bodyby

improving the physical appearance of a person, facial cosmetic surgery, can

improve the mental, emotional, and psychological functioning and wellbeing

of that patient in the long term, by boosting self-confidence and self-

esteem. (2014) According to Psychology Today, narcissistic individuals have

taken measures to enhance their face, such as, subjecting themselves to

plastic surgeries that rid them of those hated sags and bags under their

eyes. (2014, January 7) These types of surgeries can enhance narcissistic

individuals self-esteem by making them feel younger and better looking than

other individuals in their age group. Narcissistic individuals cannot have any

type of feature that can be criticized on social media by any of their friends

and celebrity culture has made this achievable. (Wilson, Cressman, Buote,

Strahan, 2006) Narcissists can now have facial reconstructions to look like

celebrities. Since our culture considers all famous people beautiful and

perfect, narcissists believe this extreme surgery is the solution to being

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considered the best. Narcissistic individuals also carry the belief that thin is

beautiful. (Yamamiya, Cash, Melnky, Posavac, 2015) This mindset has driven

many narcissists to take two routes. One course narcissists have taken is to

exercise excessively. According to Campbell and Waller, individuals might be

using exercise both to deal with self-esteem threats (e.g., criticism and

negative emotional states) and to enhance self-esteem through improving

their body. (2010) The second course narcissists tend to take is intensive

dieting, which can easily develop into an eating disorder. According to

Steiger, Jabalpurwala, Champagne, and Stotland, Anorexia and bulimia have

both been construed as symptoms, in narcissistically compromised

individuals, of the struggle to stabilize self-image through pursuit of physical

perfection and need masteryor in other words, through narcissistic

overinvestment of body image and control of eating behaviors. (1997)

Narcissism and the false reality

Narcissists use social media to post and manipulate specific photos to

make themselves and their lives appear to be a certain way. (Sheldon,

Bryant, 2015) Narcissistic individuals promote having the perfect life, which

consists of only positives (Fishwick, 2016.) Narcissists create these posts to

make their friends desire their perfect relationships, lavish lifestyle and

achievements. These posts make narcissists friends question their own

relationships, lifestyles, and achievements and wonder if they are good

enough. (Firestone, 2013) Narcissists lifestyles are unrealistic and

unachievable which is why they are false. (Wickel, 2015) Narcissistic

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individuals upload photos and posts that give the impressions that they have

the perfect romantic relationship and family. (Fowler, 2013) Narcissists make

it a priority to make it seem as if their affairs are full of love, desire, and

affection, always happy and consists of receiving extravagant random gifts.

All of this all the time is not realistic. With relationships come quarrels when

differences arise and extravagant gifts are usually only given during special

occasions. Narcissists also like to post about having the perfect family.

(Fowler, 2013) Narcissists want it to be known that their kids go to the best

school possible and are receiving the best education, their spouse has an

excellent career, which makes a fortune, and they themselves are the

perfect partner and parent. This is not the average realistic lifestyle for an

American family. Narcissists also use social media to flaunt their wealth.

Narcissistic individuals use Facebook and other location activated social

media sites to check in where they currently are or will be going. Narcissists

use these check-ins to promote their wealth by showing they are able to

travel, able to visit luxurious destinations and able to stay at top resorts.

Usually the average American family takes time to saves up funds before

traveling somewhere half as exciting. Narcissists also use this check-in

concept to show they are able to dine at top restaurants that would cost a

fortune to the average American consumer. The other way narcissists use

social media to promote their wealth is by posting about and uploading

photos of extreme purchases such as new cars, jewelry, houses, and boats.

Narcissistic individuals want it to be known that they can afford expensive,

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designer, and brand name items. Narcissists also use social media to post

about their career and sport achievements (Mntymki, Islam, 2016).

Narcissists make sure to hide the negative and ugly aspects of their life by

keeping it hidden to themselves (Bushak, 2016.) Negative aspects of a

narcissists life can include, debt from making extreme purchases to show

off, a poor marital relationship and a poor relationship with their children

because their world revolves around their social media account. (Bacon,

2013)

Narcissism and the social media obsession

Narcissists obsession with the Internet and social media has been

proven to lead to different types of disorders that have effected living a

normal life. Poor sleeping habits, perfectionism, anxiety, obsessive-

compulsive disorder (OCD), and self-esteem issues that lead to depression

are all disorders common with Internet and social media addicts (Bushak,

2016.)

The need for perfectionism and control is apart of a narcissist.

Perfectionism appears in narcissism in the form of high standards for both

oneself and others and harsh criticism of others.(Dimaggio, Lysaker,

Calarco, Pedone, Marsigli, 2015) As stated throughout the paper, narcissists

think of themselves highly and also desire friends and romantic partners who

are popular, good looking, and successful in order to promote their image.

Narcissists need control of their lives at all times in order to promote the

image of themselves they want seen. Perfectionism effects narcissists being

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able to live a normal life because there will never be a time when the

perfection is enough. There will always be someone that is living a more

perfect life, or someone who is better looking. A narcissist will continue to try

to upgrade their looks and life to compete with the standard of perfection.

Anxiety and poor sleeping habits are also connected with the obsession

of social media. The emotional investment in social media which includes

feeling upset and disconnected from others when unable to access social

media sites will be associated with higher anxiety and depression levels.

(Woods, Scott, 2016) The claim that someones obsession with social media

can cause anxiety and poor sleeping habits is certainly easy to understand

after looking at individuals postings on social media platforms. For example,

individuals posting photos or status updates late at night or in the early

morning are indications of poor sleeping habits. The posts are explained by

Woods and Scott when they say, sleep interruptions from alerts and anxiety

at missing out on new content are just two of the many possible mechanisms

underlying a link between social media use and poor sleep. (2016)

According to Rosen, Whaling, Rab, Carrier and Cheever, obsessive

personality disorder is a lifelong pattern of perfectionism and control. (2013)

Two characteristics that describe what a narcissists is perfectly as described

throughout the paper is someone who needs perfection and someone who

has control over their self-image. Narcissists are constantly obsessed with

updating their social media and seeing how many likes and comments they

will receive. Narcissists consistently update their social media with new
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things happening in their life as they as they happening at that moment.

This aspect does not allow narcissists to take moments in and actually

appreciate them. Narcissists also have the constant need to refresh their

social media to see what other people are posting and doing.

Self-esteem issues and depression also affect the way a narcissists

lives a normal life. According to Scott and Woods, studies have highlighted

links between social media use and self-esteem levels: receiving positive or

negative feedback on an online profile can increase or decrease self-esteem

accordingly. (2016) Narcissists need affirmation with the use of likes and

comments on social media sites. If a narcissist does not receive as many

likes or comments as they thought they would, their self- esteem may lessen

causing a spiral into depression. In reference to Krug, Wittchen, Lieb,

Beesdo-Baum and Knappe, low levels of self-esteem were found to be

strongly related to psychopathology such as depression. (2016)

Conclusion

With the rise of Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, and all the

other social networking platforms, people are becoming more self-absorbed

with social media and how others perceive them on social sites. The need to

seem perfect is causing self-image problems and pushing narcissistic

individuals to develop eating disorders and take dramatic actions such as

plastic surgery. Narcissists obsession with social media is also causing

individuals to promote fake pictures of the perfect life, which truly does not

exist, in order to impress others and get their approval and admiration. The
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connection of social media and narcissism is also ruining romantic

relationships and causing strain on friendships because real connections are

not being formed and narcissistic individuals are more focused on promoting

themselves. Societys and narcissists obsession with social media is effecting

the way people live their normal lives and causing sleep deprivation, anxiety,

depression, OCD, and the need of perfectionism, which will never be

achieved.

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