Turay 1

Kayla Turay

Mrs. Stultz

AP Lang/Comp; Period 1

20 March 2017

Pre-Challenge: Personal Assumptions Towards Same-Sex Couples

As society progresses, multitudes of cultural, sexual, racial, and religious differences have

been increasingly accepted specifically in America. As a lifelong resident of California, it is not

surprising that I accept virtually everyone as long as they are peaceful. I am particularly intrigued

by the unjust stigmas and stereotypes that homosexuals are branded with. I am dismayed to

realize that despite my broad acceptance, I too have my own speculations about same sex

relationships. Many of my presumptions stem from the medias fixation on heterosexual

relationships which tend to merge in my own mind with homosexual relationships. This

seemingly trivial occurrence prompted me to apply gender expectations of extreme masculinity

or femininity to each partner of a same sex relationship. I naturally have the impression that even

in a homosexual relationship there must be boy and girl figures like in a typical heterosexual

relationship, despite the two being fiercely different. Another assumption I have is that it is for

some reason inappropriate for same sex couples to have quick non-graphic public displays of

affection. The origination of this belief is most likely my familys doing because while I consider

myself to be accepting of same sex couples, I consider the elder members of my family to

tolerate them instead of accepting them. I have an idea that they do this because they do not want

the younger generation of the family to be homosexual, as it will then be admittedly harder for

the family to gain new biological members. Furthermore, my family and I are fairly religious, as

we are all active Christians similar to a large number of Pacifica students; the issue is that

homosexuality is undeniably a sin in this religion along with many others, however it has
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become extremely controversial since the Bible states it is condemning, "Thou shalt not lie with

mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth

with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death;

their blood shall be upon them", but also states that, Do not judge, and you will not be judged;

and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. "Give,

and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure--pressed down, shaken

together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return

(2. Leviticus 18:22 and 3. Leviticus 20:13, Luke 6:37-42) I feel that many of my more strictly

religious friends will feel that they are somehow sinning themselves by associating with

homosexuals, whereas I do not avoid homosexuals I simply confirm within myself that I am not

truly one. The final assumption I have is that in a place like school or work is that sometimes

those who are openly homosexual are seen as overly sensitive or aggressive and must work much

harder to be taken seriously. I want to look at this topic explicitly because I have experienced

some similar assumptions based on my ethnicity and I am genuinely interested to examine the

parallels and contrasts between the two. I will accomplish this by becoming a lesbian for one

school week with my girlfriend and observing my peers reactions.

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Challenge Summary: Personal Assumptions Towards Same-Sex Couples

Day of Experience
the Week
and Date

Monday Today was the first day of my relationship with my new girlfriend: Rebecca Johnson. Today we subtly
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participated in typical behavior of most newly found romantic relationships. During break we hugged
numerous times and murmured to one another. We also gave each other flirty looks and walked to a few
classes together then lingered outside the door. As far as I know, none of our friends reacted to our behavior
at all. However, a few people did look at us weirdly in the hallways. Personally I felt relatively normal and
found constant companionship to be oddly comforting.

Tuesday Today my girlfriend was gone for the first few hours but, at lunch we walked around together and then sat
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down with our friends to eat. While we were eating we fed each other trail mix and fruit snacks and I think
our friends started to notice that something was out of the ordinary because we were exclusively feeding
each other. In order to make sure people knew we were official we put our names in one anothers
Instagram bio with the basic sparkly pink heart emoji. A couple of hours after updating my bio one of my
best friends texted me and asked if Becca and I were seriously dating I told her we were and that we had
been talking for about a month and a half. Thankfully, she reacted positively and was extremely happy for
me especially since it was my very first relationship. Today was a bit more exciting in social aspects, but so
far there has not been any serious issues.

Wednesd Since it was late start my girlfriend and I went to Starbucks together before school. When we walked into
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the bustling coffee shop we walked in loosely holding hands. When we went to order the transgender (male
to female) barista actually commented on our relationship and politely asked how long we had been
together because she always sees us there as what seemed to be friends. Becca told we that we had just
gotten together officially this Monday and the barista congratulated us. When we walked to school we
strolled along with our fingers intertwined and the wind in our hair without any mishaps. Upon our arrival
to school, Becca came with me to my locker and held my books for me while I got my binder for my zero
period. After I finished there she walked me to zero and gave me a hug before I left, where one of my
friends in my zero saw us and asked me later on in the period if we were a thing and I said yeah with a
bashful grin. Throughout most of the day we walked together as if we were joined by the hip. By the end of
the day nearly all of our friends knew we were dating and everyone was okay with it however, I did notice
one of my guy friends that is more strictly religious in his Christian beliefs than the rest of the group not
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talking to me as much and almost letting our 152 day streak on Snapchat die. I would like to believe that his
actions have nothing to do with me coming out but, I am fairly sure that it had a large part in his behavior.

Thursday Today I was sick and I almost did not come to school, in fact I only came to get another daily experience for
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me and Beccas relationship. All day Becca comforted me and gave me hugs. We did not share food since I
was sick. During lunch I accidentally fell asleep on her and most of our friends thought it was really cute. At
the end of lunch Becca and I plus another one of our friends walked together until we all went our separate
ways for fifth period. Today was virtually uneventful except for a few intimate embraces that truly did help
me get through the day.

Friday For the final day of our social experiment, my girlfriend and I took to social media and almost obnoxiously
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posted about each other. During the day we did it all: hugged, held hands, murmured lovingly, fake made-
out in the hallways, and gave cute little miscellaneous face kisses needless to say, people noticed. More
specifically, two teachers that I will not name because they yelled at us to stop kissing in the hallway, our
peers, and a random parent that was visiting. Besides a few of my peers that bristled at my scandalous
behavior and the teachers that scolded us I would have to say that overall most people did not react at all.
However my strictly religious friend I previously mentioned did not approve and did not seem to be able to
even tolerate my decision very well considering he barely talked to me at all and he only did so in the few
minutes of the day I was not with Becca. I find his behavior to be extremely disappointing because we have
been friends for a little over a year and we have gotten pretty close but, that did not seem to matter to him
because after I came out this week he had already started distancing himself from me at an alarming rate
instead of being glad that I had found someone that makes me happy.

Post-Challenge: Personal Assumptions Towards Same-Sex Couples

Addressing my previous assumptions, I found that a few of my assumptions were a bit radical

and others were too laxed. My first speculation was that it was not socially acceptable for non-
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heterosexual couples to have public displays affection. During my CAP experience I realized that

there is honestly two extremes to this no matter the sexual orientation of the couple. I made this

discovery when Becca and I were reprimanded for excessive PDA by some Pacifica faculty

members; with this experience I basically learned that a quick peck or hug is allowed but long

make-out sessions in the hallway are not in any case. My next stereotype is that homosexual

relationship must have an equivalent of a male and a female as a heterosexual relationship does.

Throughout the week of challenging my assumptions I noticed that I could not pinpoint who was

the boy and who was the girl in my relationship with Becca; all each of us did was spend more

time together and become more intimate no one was more specifically masculine and vice versa.

I feel like I would have never realized that particular roles of male and female do not need to be

applied to a relationship for it to be valid; all you really need are two or more people that really

care about one another more than they typically would about anyone else. Moving on to my final

presumption, I found that despite my expectations the majority of my peers did in fact still

respect me and treated me the same as before I came out. However, my peers also proved my

first assumption to be incorrect as well because the few that were, I feel rightfully judgemental

were the ones who saw Becca and I making-out in the hallway. The only one my peers that did

not seem to view me in relatively the same light was as I expected one of my strictly religious

friends; while I do understand why he may have reacted negatively I do not approve of his

behavior with me after the initial shock faded. His quick change in attitude actually made me feel

guilty and unwanted because a choice that I had made about my own love life upset him that

much. As far as he knows now Becca and I are still together and I am still lesbian; on Monday, I

will be talking to him about what went on and why it had to be a huge issue for him. I did not

appreciate how he reacted to my personal preference specifically because it did not change who I

was or his own life. Reflecting on my experience I am definitely glad that I did it and I realize
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now why it is so hard for people to come out or introduce their significant other to their family or

friends. You really do not know how even some of your closest friends will respond to the news

you are about to give them. Throughout the week I felt like people were always watching me and

judging me once Becca and I had obviously shown our commitment to one another. This

experience also made me extremely anxious in places outside of school because at school I feel

more safe because upon the slim chance that any hate crime was committed by anyone I could

report it. Whereas walking to school or into Starbucks someone could have hissed a slur at me

and Becca or possibly thrown something at us out of their car and probably gotten away with it.

My fears of this also stem from the media as I am constantly bombarded with breaking news of

hate crimes and police brutality against numerous minorities. All in all, being lesbian for a week

taught me to be even more accepting, careful of my own speculations, and understanding of

other minorities besides racial ones.