Dayzha McKelley 1.5.

16
Ms. Corey Period7

Rape can have many definitions, one of which is Rape is defined as

nonconsensual oral, anal, or vaginal penetration obtained by force, by threat of

bodily harm or when the victim is unable of giving consent. Those who are not

aware of the different types of rape would assume that rape is committed by

strangers in dark alleys at night, but in all actuality the majority of rapes are

committed by someone that the victim knew and possibly trusted at one time in

their life. About four out of five assaults are committed by someone the victim

knows, 47 percent of rapists are a friend or acquaintance of the victim.

While there are many types of rapes, some of the commonly known ones are

gang rapes, which consists of when someone is sexually assaulted by more than
one person. Marital rapes, which occurs anytime when a spouse if forced to

have sex with the other when they dont want. Prison rapes, these happen

within the walls of prisons and are usually male on male forcible contact, and

wartime rapes, which are associated with almost every war and is a common

military war tactic for an attacking army to invade a village or city and rape the

women there to establish dominance.

There are many reasons why someone could rape another but a few of the

reasons are for power, being to show or prove dominance over another. Sadism

is a motive to rape someone, these are usually the more planned ones where

the rapist gets pleasure from hurting the victim. Another type of rape is sexual

gratification. Most of the acquaintance rapes and date rapes fall under this
category. This is the most common type of rape.

Sexual violence is almost the same as rape, except sexual violence is harmful words and

actions that are unwanted by a person, as opposed to only violent or unwanted sexual

acts. Sexual violence is almost the same as rape, except sexual violence is harmful words and

actions that are unwanted by a person, as opposed to only violent or unwanted sexual

acts. There are multiple causes of sexual violence that are most related to a culture that in ways,
supports and condones sexually violent messages and/or behavior. this is called a rape culture
and is represented or shown as exploitive images of women and children in the media.
The terms sexual abuse and sexual assault can be and are used interchangeably with sexual
violence. In the general perspective sexual abuse usually refers to the repeated sexual violation
of a child by a family member or another. There are many types of sexual assault:
Sexual assault

Date and acquaintance rape

Intimate partner or spouse sexual violence

Alcohol and drug related sexual assault

Child or underage sexual abuse

Incest

Professional sexual exploitation

Commercial sexual exploitation

 Sexual harassment
Sexual violence national statistics
About 1 in 5 women have been raped in the duration of their life (almost 22 million)

1 in 71 men have been raped in the duration of their life (almost 1.6 million)

1 in 6 women have been stalked during their life

1 in 19 men have experienced stalking in their life

1 in 4 women have been a victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner or

spouse

1 in 7 men have been a victim of physical violence by an intimate partner or spouse

Approximately 80 percent of female victims have experienced their first rape before the

age of 25, almost half have experienced their first rape before the age of 18 (30 percent

between 11 and 17 years and 12 percent before the age of 10)

In data from 2005 through 2010, most rape or sexual assault victims (78 percent) knew

the offender

The there are many effects of sexual assault. The effects could be psychological, emotional,
and/or physical. The duration of these effects could be long term or short term. Some of the
effects are depression. Depression is a sad or blue feeling, then it may become something
more than the normal feelings of sadness when the symptoms last for more than two weeks.
Some symptoms of depression may include:
Long periods of sadness or unexplainable crying

Large changes in weight or appetite

Not as energized or long periods of fatigue

Insomnia or changes in sleeping patterns

Disinterest in activities that were previously enjoyed or social withdrawal

 Often indifferent or pessimistic feelings

Thoughts of death or suicide

Flashbacks are also an effect of sexual assault. Flashbacks are when memories of past
happenings feel like they are taking place in the current moments. These memories have many
forms such as dreams, smells, images, body sensations, and overwhelming feelings. Flashbacks
may come from nowhere, they blur the lines of the past and present, and they leave the
individual feeling scared, anxious, and powerless. Also, it can trigger any other emotions
that were felt during the time of the trauma. The duration of the flashbacks are unpredictable,
different things may trigger longer or shorter flashbacks. Sometimes the person may not even
realize that there having a flashback. Some of the steps that can be taken to get out or snap out
of the flashback are to:
Get yourself physically grounded: as in stand up or sit up straight and try to stable

yourself

Remind yourself that you are in the present: Look around you and be aware of your

surroundings and let yourself know that you are no longer in that moment

Pay attention to and be aware of your surroundings: notice things that would help you

realize where you are, like touching things that bring back positive memories, or

something that reminds you of home.

Breathing: try to focus on your breathing, for example, counting your breaths, Five

counts in and five counts out until you feel as if it is alright to continue doing what it is

that youre doing.

Self Soothing: do something that normally calms you down when youre anxious like

going the get under your favorite blanket, or drinking warm tea while reading a book if

thats what calms you down.

 Take care of yourself: dont try to rush yourself and convince yourself that youre alright

or fine. Reach out to people who you can trust and who care for you for support because

you shouldnt go through this on your own.

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a normal human reaction to any extreme or abnormal
situations. Its not a rare or an unusual occurrence, and many people experience post traumatic
stress disorder as a result of a traumatic experience such as rape or sexual assault. Some of the
symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder are:
Experiencing symptoms of expressed horror, fear, or helplessness

Experiencing distressing memories of the event

Regularly avoiding things that might trigger the memories or flashbacks of the event

Here are more statistics of rape and sexual assault:

Who are the victims?

1 of every 16 American women has been the victim of an attempted or a completed rape

or sexual assault in her lifetime. Among all of the victims about 9 out of 10 of them are

female

1 out of 33 American men have been the victim of an attempted or completed rape or

sexual assault in his lifetime. At least 10 percent of all victims are male.

Age of sexual assault victims

15 percent of the victims are under the age of 12

29 percent of the victims are from the ages of 12 to 17

44 percent of the victims are under the are of 18

 80 percent of the victims are under the age of 30

From the ages of 12 to 34 are the years with the highest risk

Girls from the ages of 16 to 19 are four times more likely the be victims of sexual assault

than the general population

Race

17 percent of victims are white women

18 percent of victims are African American women

6 percent of victims are Asian / Pacific Islander women

34 percent of victims are American Indian / Alaskan Native women

24 percent of victims are mixed race women

14 percent of victims are Hispanic women

2 percent of victims are white men

3 percent of victims are African American men

4 percent of victims are mixed race men

Physical injuries due to rape

100 percent of completed rapes, 39 percent of attempted rapes and 17 percent of sexual

assaults result in injured female victims

33 percent of the victims have minor physical injuries such as bruises and chipped teeth

5 percent of the victims have major injuries such as broken bones an gunshot wounds

61 percent of the victims have undetermined injuries

 About 36 percent of the injured victims received medical care

82 percent of the ones that were cared for received hospital services

55 percent of those injured and who received medical care use physician services

17 percent of those used dental services

19 percent of those used ambulatory / paramedic services

17 percent of those used physical therapy services

Mental health care from the survivors of sexual assault are

3 times more likely to suffer from depression

6 times more likely to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder

13 times more likely to abuse drugs such as alcohol

26 times more likely to abuse drugs other than alcohol

4 times more likely to contemplate suicide

To further your understanding of my topic, a primary source has volunteered to share her
story. The names of all involved have been withheld to protect their identity, and to she has
changed the perpetrators name to keep his identity hidden as well. I had just turned 13 four
days previously, imagine that. Just became a teenager, something Ive been waiting for since I
was little. And bam, its ruined. I had been with this guy, lets call him Joe. He had gotten me
into paraphernalia that was slowly starting to effect all rational judgements, so I went to a house
party. It was like a typical college party, and I had gone with him. Everything in the beginning
was great, we were having a great time. Then he was being over protective, I was talking to
someone and he got angry and walked out. So I excused myself from the guy I was conversing
with, and I went into the bedroom of the owner of the house, to be alone and try to sober up. I
didnt even realize that he followed me until I went to close the door and there he was, yelling at
me and screaming. Then he stormed out, and I thought I was finally alone. But five minutes after
he left, I got what peace and quiet comes with attending a house party full of drunken idiots, he
returned. He was screaming louder, barely making sense, I dont remember what he was
screaming but I know he was. It all got loud in my head, questioning myself why I even agreed
to go to this party with someone who doesnt care for me like he had once said. I never once
responded to him, then in one swift movement he grabbed my throat and held it tight. He
screamed in my face about someone flirting with me, when really I was talking to that guy about
Joe. I honestly thought hed kill me right then and there. He squeezed his fingers tighter then
threw me to the floor, I didnt even notice I had started crying until this point. I was in a skirt
that night and when I went down, it went up. I didnt look up, I thought he was done, I thought he
walked out, I thought it was finally over for the night. But no. That wasnt the end of the story
for me. He then grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me up. He forced a kiss on me and
being a stupid kid I gave in to his love. But it was rough, I didnt know what to think, it was
grab after hit after bite after pull and it didnt stop there. He was high and drunk, and I was only
a little buzzed so I felt everything. I felt every scratch with every kiss, and every bruise with
every hug. Then up the skirt was pushed, down the undies went, I remember a soft cry of my
resistance whimper out as he pushed me onto the bed. I tried pushing him away and he grabbed
my throat and smacked me across the face. His laugh is something Ill never forget. The laugh of
a person who shouldnt even be considered a person. He forced my legs open and his way in.
The pain is something I cant even describe. A pain that went on for 18 minutes, nonstop. I
stared at the clock next to the bed the entire time, hoping everything would melt away, melt into
a nothing that was all a lie. Finally he was done. He was finished. He was finished with me.
Then
it was quiet. Joe laughed, then thanked me for being so good. Then there was a small kiss on my
thigh and he walked out. So quiet, but so loud at the same time. Something that cant be
described but something you can feel in the pit of your chest.
The empty hollowness of despair, the regret of life it self. Why did I say hi to him when

he introduced himself that one day? Why did I not see his cynistic disgusting self in the first

place? How did I let that happen? Why cant I do anything other than cry? Get up and go fight
for yourself, your own safety, I yelled in my head. Why would Joe lie to me? He told me he

loved me, what happened? Was I not what he wanted, so he had to force it out of me? I laid in

the bed for a good hour before I got up. There was a bathroom connected to the bedroom and it

hurt to walk. It seemed to take hours to get to the bathroom, I almost wanted to get on the floor

and crawl over. I got to the mirror and stared at my body. My once-flawless skin was now

covered in blemishes. I looked at the bruises. The scars going down my back and neck, the bite

marks all over my shoulders. His hand print around my neck, red and light purple. How did this

happen to me? How could I let this happen to me? I went back to the bed and laid down, another

painful ordeal. The party must have been over cause all got quiet. He came back, I pretended to

be asleep, I wanted to finally be left alone and not be bothered by him. He laid next to me, I laid

perfectly still. After a while he started snoring and I began to silently cry. The next day when I

woke up he was gone, he left a note. I dont remember what it said, I ripped it to pieces. I didnt

want anything to do with hi. I avoided him for the next 6 months straight. I wanted everything

including him to disappear. I cried for months, alone. Crying was all I did, that was defense

against the thoughts. I can still smell his cologne, the lavender scent of the room, the feel of the

carpet, the color of the walls, the feeling of the bass of the music from downstairs, his sweat

dripping onto my face, everything. Everything is still with me to this day. But the one thing that

rings through my head daily, his laugh. He laughed. He thought it was funny. He found my pain

and suffering comical. For years I struggled with self harm, anything to take the pain away. I
was

a child, I didnt know what to do. I kept this to myself for so long, I never reported, so he was

never punished for what he did to me. The biggest regret of my life is not sending him to jail,

lock him away with his own thoughts to think about what he did. I researched a little and found

that many rapists make plea deals and get maybe a year. One year is all they get. Anger built
more and more. I did more drugs, I drank more alcohol, I did what ever I could to try to forget. I

did what I could to try to stop the feeling. But nothing stopped it, depression still sits with me.

Its like a dark cloud that is always there. Hes always there. To this very day he still walks

around like he did nothing wrong. I see him from time to time and am reminded of my guilt for

not saying anything. There could be someone else out there going through the same thing

because of me. But its too late for me now, I have learned to forgive myself for not telling.

Maybe it just wasnt meant to be for me to tell. Ive since learned how to cope. How to keep

going, to live on, to be okay. I want to have children someday, and marry a beautiful woman.

The same beautiful woman who has helped me share this horrid story, who has helped me

through my mind to learn to live my life to the fullest. My life is mine and Ive learned to take a

hold of it. I hope others who have gone through anything similar are encouraged to find

happiness, hope for the future. I want them all to know that it will be okay, dont give up. That

stops all opportunity to get better. Never blame yourself, it is never your fault. You did what you

had to, to be here right now. And I am so very proud for that. Thank you for listening to my

story, my story of survival.