Wearing our brains on our sleeve.

16 February 2017 14:39 (South Africa)

Opinionista ROBYN WOLFSON VORSTER

Abandoned children, SA's dirty little secret

ROBYN WOLFSON VORSTER

ROBYN WOLFSON VORSTER

A dedicated wordsmith with a background in social sciences, learning and strategic

consulting, Robyn opted out of corporate life recently to become a childrens rights
activist. As an adoptive mom to a beautiful daughter, she has a special interest in adoption
advocacy, and she now uses her many words to educate about childrens issues and
motivate for changes in policy. You can find her at www.becomingamom.co.za

09 Jul 2015 10:10 (South Africa)

Around 3,500 children are abandoned in South Africa annually. News of yet another child found
dead or left in a precarious position elicits strong public condemnation and emotion. Public
consensus on the issue of child abandonment generally provokes a knee-jerk response to blame
and demonise mothers. But despite our deeply felt beliefs, research has indicated that while
abandonment affects individuals, it is often as a result of wider socio-economic factors and
ultimately, politics.
Zaneles baby was born two days before her sixteenth birthday. By then, the man who
had impregnated her was long gone. Thirty years her senior and married, he seemed
unperturbed by the fact that she was underage. He had seduced her, not as many would
assume with jewellery or clothes but simply with the promise of safe transportation to
and from school. They did not use contraception; he wouldnt and rejected her attempts
to do so, stating that it made her taste bad. 8
Not even the pregnancy had dismayed him. But he had been furious when, fearing
judgement and infertility from her ancestors, she had rejected the idea of an abortion. It
was the end of the relationship. At 15, she was pregnant and all alone. Her mother had
passed away when she was three, her father was unknown and the aunt who claimed the
foster care grant for her and her five siblings was distant and abusive. Her only other
relative, a grandmother in her home town, was already caring for four grandchildren.
Zanele feared that the shame of a baby would make her aunt cast her out and then,
without support, how would she raise a baby and still finish her schooling? 2
In the end she sought help at a clinic in another town. The nurse lectured her for her
stupidity at falling pregnant and warned her that she has no other option but to raise the
baby. When she asked tentatively about adoption, the nurse told her that her ancestors
would not forgive her for letting anyone outside of her family take the child, or change
its identity, and that since she was underage, she would need parental consent for
adoption anyway. Before Zanele left, feeling humiliated and vulnerable, the nurse told
her not to consider leaving her baby at the clinic if you do, the security will come and
find you she laughed. 2
When the contractions began Zanele left school early, travelling alone with a pair of
scissors and a plastic bag.The child, a boy, was born in an open field. She cut the
umbilical cord, put him in the bag and placed him in a dustbin. In her confusion and
fear, she told herself that one day she would return to claim him. She didnt look back.
The next day, the newspapers trumpeted the story of a newborn left in a dustbin in
Thembisa. The headlines were typically sensationalist, accompanied by scarce
information reported in a matter of fact manner, along with stock photos of a pristine
baby foot. There were no details of the childs gender or whether it lived or died, simply
the commitment that police are investigating.
In the online comments section, readers vented their disgust for the childs unknown
mother.POOR, POOR LITTLE MITE. I hate and loathe the person who [did this to
you]. She is a SAVAGE! I hope they catch the "Thing" who did this. said one. Another:
Whyyyyy does this not surprise me?! Some just shouldnt breed.......or breathe!!!!
Rodents! And yet another, Any person involved with child abuse or abandonment of
any kind should be subject to sterilisation. 2
United in their vitriol and condemnation, they vilified both the act and the woman who
committed it. Zanele (not a woman but in fact a child) was arrested and charged for
concealment of birth and attempted murder. To date, no effort has been made to find
the man who raped her and fathered her child.
Although Zanele's story is based on actual events, it is easy to assume that it has been
sensationalised. But nothing could be further from the truth. Both the reasons that she
abandoned unsafely, and the response of the public, are painfully real. With an
estimated 3,500 children abandoned annually, some variant of her story is being played
out across the country every day. 1
South Africans increasingly dont agree about much, so it is notable that almost
everyone from government downwards, across class and racial divides, seems to hold a
similar opinion about abandonment: it is the fault of sad, bad, mad mothers, too
irresponsible or lazy to use birth control and too stupid or uncaring to put the child up
for adoption or abandon safely.
The argument is plausible; it is impossible to think about abandonment without
attributing some blame to mothers. But despite our deeply felt beliefs, research
published more than a year ago shows that while abandonment affects individuals, it is
in fact governed by wider socio-economic factors and ultimately, politics. 2
It was 2014 when Dee Blackie, a consultant to the National Adoption Coalition of SA,
released her seminal report challenging all of our conventional viewpoints about
abandonment. The key contributing factors read like a laundry list of all of our societal
ills: poverty, the breakdown of traditional kinship support systems due to HIV/Aids and
urbanisation, rape and statutory rape. The report also highlighted some more surprising
influencers such as culture, anti-adoption practices on the part of government and state
officials (for example nurses and social workers), and both the legislation governing who
can place a child for adoption, and that which outlaws safe abandonment mechanisms
like baby bins. The implication of the report was that no amount of condemning
abandoning mothers was going minimise the practice. If we wanted to stem the tide, we
would have to deal with much bigger issues. 3
A year later how much progress has been made? A recent spike in abandonments seem
to indicate that despite the report being widely debated at the time, nothing much has
changed since its release either in the perception of the general populace, or in
government policy and the practices of those applying it. Authorities have done little to
counter or confirm the findings, seemingly unwilling to quantify or research the issue.
We have to conclude that either government disbelieved the report, or it is in denial
about the extent and causes of abandonment, or it has accepted the findings but lacks
the political will to address them. Either way, the outcome has been an eye-watering
number of senseless deaths, and for those who survive, complete separation from
family, culture and tradition. We can no longer stand by and watch it happen.
In governments defence, some of the factors influencing abandonment are not going to
change in a hurry. Despite the stabilisation of HIV/Aids infections, our pitiful economic
growth rate means that rampant poverty will continue, as will the crumbling of extended
family support structures and kinship based care. But, are we so conditioned to
accepting the permanence of our extreme socio-economic circumstances that we have
stopped challenging factors that can and must be changed? Not all aspects of
abandonment are immutable. If we are to minimise it, we urgently need to address two
embedded practices: the irresponsible and sometime criminal behaviour of men, and
governments blatant anti-adoption stance. 2
The first incontrovertible fact we need to contest is that men in this country will
continue to rape or commit statutory rape,refuse birth control and then insist on an
abortion, or abandon their partners after impregnating them; and that they will do so
with impunity. This conduct is at the heart of the abandonment problem, but to date we
seem to have lacked the political, legal and social resolve to challenge it. Even
programmes designed to take on these practices appear misdirected the 2012 anti-
sugar daddy campaign is an example. Run by the KwaZulu-Natal health department in
an attempt to curb massive HIV infections among young women, it astonishingly
targeted the girls themselves instead of the men that victimised them. Nor is this
isolated.
When our president, Jacob Zuma, stood up in front of the traditional leaders in March
of this year (in his now infamous Robben Island address) he exclusively blamed girls
for teenage pregnancies, which he termed alien to traditional culture. At no point did
he address the men often powerful, older and wealthy who impregnated them,
sometimes through rape or coercion. How different might things have been if he had
criticised the perpetrators rather than the victims? And when last did we see a high
profile rape or statutory rape case (especially one with a huge age difference) result in a
guilty verdict and proper punitive jail time? Wouldnt that go some way to curbing the
practice? 1
Perhaps cultural beliefs play a role here too. While women seem frightened of being
judged by their ancestors for having an abortion or placing a child for adoption, the men
traditionally responsible for introducing their offspring to the ancestors appear able to
facilitate abortion or abandon the mother of their child (and therefore the child) without
fear of condemnation.
Regardless of why this behaviour endures, we can no longer accept its inevitability. Men
in this country cannot be immune from consequence when lives are at stake. 1
Nor can our beliefs and policies around adoption another area of national myopia
continue to be indisputable. Adoption is legal in South Africa, yet government has been
quite transparent in recent times about it being both unAfrican and unnecessary. It is
a conviction that underpins the way our legislation is applied but also (significantly in
the case of abandonment,) permeates the advice given to women about their options
when faced with an unwanted pregnancy. The argument is culturally based, that legally
changing a childs identity will separate him from his ancestors and bring him heartache
and bad luck in life. It is so pervasive that government has openly favoured kinship care,
foster care and even (although perhaps slightly less openly), institutional care or child
headed households over adoption. 1
Governments position has always been problematic, contributing as it has to our
rampant orphan crisis. But now, eliminating adoption as a meaningful option is
resulting in abandonment, and either the childs death, or a complete and permanent
disconnection from his familial and cultural roots. In inadvertently promoting
abandonment, government's anti-adoption campaign is serving to alienate children
from their culture and traditions rather than keeping them connected. We have to
conclude that this policy, which has always been misguided, is now self-defeating too.
It may also be unconstitutional. South Africas Constitution provides children with the
right to be protected from maltreatment, neglect, abuse or degradation, as well as the
right to family or parental care. It further states that any law or conduct inconsistent
with it is invalid. If we continue to justify policy that violates our Constitution, are we
any better than the iniquitous pre-1994 government that used beliefs to excuse separate
development and the resultant death of thousands of its people?
Surely it is time for government to put its cultural prejudices aside and change its stance
towards adoption. Nurses and state social workers need to be educated so that they can
actively promote adoption to women facing unwanted pregnancies, and the law needs to
change. Abandonment can be mitigated by removing the age limit for consensual
adoption (if a child is old enough to choose an abortion how can we say that the same
child isnt old enough to place a child for adoption?), and by re-evaluating the policy of
deporting illegal immigrants who try to place a child for adoption. But if abandonment
continues despite changes in law, then regardless of our beliefs, we need to acknowledge
that doing so safely is the lesser of two evils. Shockingly, nurses and social workers often
know that women are abandoning but like government, they seem proud of measures
such as increased security at hospitals that prevent safe abandonment. In the end, our
goal must be to save lives, which means both legalising baby bins and using them
strategically. 4
And, it is time for some research, specifically into how often and where abandonment is
taking place, how many are safe or unsafe and why, and how many children are actually
dying. As with all denial, this lack of research has led to a functional blindness which
means we are currently unable to manage the problem at a policy or practical level. 4
Policy makers and those enforcing social practices can no longer plead ignorance.
Without these changes, it could be argued that they are just as culpable as the mothers
who abandon their children, and the men who first abandoned them.
As a final note to the public: moral outrage is a valid response to abandonment but it
doesnt change anything. If you care about these tiny innocent victims, perhaps it is time
to trade anger for activism. Champion adoption, support organisations lobbying
government for a change in policies (like the National Adoption Coalition), join a
movement like Choose to Care to aid women faced with an unwanted pregnancy, help
educate healthcare workers about the advice they are giving, speak out against rape and
sugar daddies and be a voice for abandoned children and desperate pregnant women in
your community. Above all, it is time to face the problem head on and to remind
government that there are things more unafrican than adoption and teen pregnancies.
2

As things stand, the headlines will persist, children will die in dustbins and toilets, in
plastic bags and open fields and we will self-righteously continue to judge their mothers.
But unless we are part of the solution, maybe, just maybe, their blood is on our hands
too. DM 12