Eigo Enshu Ted Talk: February 23, 2017

Name: Maria Imanishi

Topic: Womens March/Feminism

Scoring out of 5= 5: Excellent 4:Very Good 3:Good 2:OK 1:Needs Improvement

CRITERIA SCORE

Opener (first 30 seconds): Grabs audiences attention with a story, question, etc. (topic is not clear) 3 /5
Good microcosm of your message, but it wasnt made totally clearexplain
basics first

Body (middle 60 seconds): Information is clear, focused, and interesting 3 /5

You made many assumptions about the audiences knowledge levelexplain
fundamentals
Closer (last 30 seconds): wrap up and state your main idea clearly and inspirationally 4 /5
**give us something to think about or some action to take
Why should audience believe you? Outline the benefits of being feminist

Vocabulary Usage: Simple, natural, easy to understand. If difficult words are used, the speaker explains them 4 /5
Some of your terms you explained, but others merit explanation or examples
Grammar: Grammar is correct, simple & clear 4 /5
Simplify your grammar moreshorter sentences, simple clauses (using pauses
helped)
Voice Inflection: clear emotion, strong intonation, charisma 4 /5
More energy would be good, but overall, you exemplified confident delivery

Gestures/Eye Contact/Posture: connecting to audience 4 /5

A few more gestures would be nicethe iPhone in your hand was a little
distracting

ELI5: Speakers speech is easy to understand, speaking slowly, small pauses between phrases 2 /5
I cant imagine any 5 year olds understanding your speechsorry!
Memorized: Speaker doesn't use notes, speaks with confidence and memorization is complete 8 /10
Mostly memorizeda few more practices would help your speech to be more
smooth

Time: 4:10 Total speaking score: 36 /50

Total writing score: 50 /50

Notes:
Your speech makes a number of assumptions about how much your audience knows
about feminism. You should spend more time teaching the basic details of your topics.
For example, why did women march on January 20, and what do the lyrics of Dayas
song mean? These things are clear to you, but your audience will get much more
meaning from your talk if you summarize these basic things clearly first. Moreover,
you criticize , but you dont explain what is bad about it. Many who havent
questioned before today may not understand why you disagree with it. If you
explain the problems with traditional femininity and the benefits of feminism, you may
gain more support for your ideas. That said, Im so happy to hear you talk like thisI
hope more and more women in Japan share your opinions and push Japan to value
equality!