The "Perfect" Titus 2 Woman

The perfect Titus 2 Woman is...

not the supermom you see on the cover of mom magazines doing it all.
She is the humble woman.
The gracious woman that comes along side you.
The woman that is always pointing toward the Lord and not to herself.
The woman who has been through the battle and now wants to share what she has
learned by showing you her battle scars. She makes mistakes and shares her
imperfections to exalt Him and encourage you.
The woman that loves you unconditionally.
The woman that doles out mercy to all those around here and it overflows.
The woman that has served privately, without recognition, behind four walls.
The woman who will slow down her day to tend to the ones who matter.
Her arms are always welcoming, always beckoning, always loving-- smoothing over
rough edges with her words of peace.
She is always hoping, always building others up.
She gets on her knees and prays for you.
Lord, we need your strength to be this woman. This imperfect picture of beauty- a
real woman who humbly loves you.
A ray of light of Your love on earth.
Thank you, Lord, for the godly women you placed in our lives and
for the godly women you are shaping us to be...
5 Easy Ways to Build Up Your Home

We have written many thoughts over the years on how to be a wise woman and also how
not to be a foolish woman. Today we would like to share 5 easy ways to build up your home
this week:
1. Speak Positively to Husband and about Him

Your husband is who God providentially brought into your life to be the leader of your home.
In society today, it is easy to forget that truth, take the reigns, and completely take over.
This is not the Lord's plans for our families . We need to be women who glorify God by how
we speak to and about our husbands. We do not need to point out every fault, weakness, or
lack of vision to him or to others. Scripture teaches us that love always hopes and always
protects. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It
does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth." Let us speak hope, love,
patience, and Scripture into their lives at all times and give grace as we have had it
extended to us.
2. Speak Positively about your Children
The Scriptures teach that children are a reward and a heritage from the Lord (Psalm127:3).
This is God given truth that Christian women would be wise to embrace . All around the
world we see a hate for children, for life, and for the things of God. Let this not be so in the
church or found among His own people. Let the world see that we love children and that we
have a welcoming heart to raise and disciple them.
3. Pray for your Family
Do you get so caught up with the busyness of the day that you forget to pray for the most
important and most beloved people in your life? We all can relate to dropping the ball but
we need to quickly get back on track and cover them with prayer (James 5:16) . What I have
found most helpful is to have a specific time each day to do this. Whether its early before
everyone is up or while you are taking shower--perhaps you might even just try to pray all
day for them whenever you can snatch a little pocket of time. Every small prayer lifted up to
God is heard.
4. Take Sinful Thoughts Captive
When you are tempted to think wrong thoughts don't dwell there. It is so easy to get caught
up with wrong thinking--everything from anger, covetousness, jealousy, and bitterness can
get a hold of our lives if we are not careful. As daughters of the King we need to stand
vigilant and discern what wrong thinking is (especially before we entertain it or allow it to
come out of our mouths) before we allow it to control us. We need to discern, repent, and
replace bad thinking with Scripture. 2 Cor 10:5
5. Keep your Eyes on the Lord
Trials, challenges, and hardships will come, there is no doubt about that. This life we live is
not meant to be comfortable or easy. But will we be shaken when that happens or will be
steadfast and trust in the Lord? Keep your eyes on Him, much like Peter who walked on
water-- but once he took his focus off the Lord he began to sink. We need to be steadfast,
immovable, with faith that can weather the storm.

"A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love 'turning all
the forces of manhood upward and heavenward.' While she clings to him in holy confidence and
loving dependence she brings out in him whatever is nobles and richest in his being. She inspires
him with her courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh
in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood.
While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his
whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path. -JR Miller
" Do not let your adorning be externalthe braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the
clothing you wear but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable
beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:3-4

Weapons of Spiritual Warfare-Part Three

Weapons of Spiritual Warfare-Part Three
SACRAMENTS & DEVOTIONS:
The Sacramental life of the Christian is the most important means that can be used to draw closer to God, obtain holiness, and repel attacks from the
devil.
Eucharist:
First and foremost of the Sacraments is that of the Eucharist. It is the source and summit of Christian life. It is the body, blood, soul and divinity of our
Lord Jesus Christ. At the last supper, he commanded us to partake in the Eucharistic sacrifice and consume his flesh and blood in the form of bread and
wine. Frequent reception of the Eucharist in a state of grace will strengthen you and increase your love for Christ, who gave himself as an everlasting
sacrifice that we as Catholics can now take part in.
Along with reception of the Holy Eucharist, the adoration of the Blessed Sacrament is also highly recommended. When we pray or simply listen to Jesus in
the Blessed Sacrament, He bestows on us many graces and the power to overcome our sinfulness.
Do you realize that Jesus is there in the tabernacle expressly for you for you alone? He burns with the desire to come into your heartdont listen to the
demon, laugh at him, and go without fear to receive the Jesus of peace and love
St. Therese the Little Flower
Confession:
In confession, we are freed from Satans chains and renewed once again as a child of God. Frequent confession and reception of the Holy Eucharist is
especially effective against the attacks of the devil.
A humble confession displeases Satan and, if he could, he would make you omit Holy Communion.
-The Imitation of Christ, Thomas a Kempis
Devotions:
In devotion, we show our love of Christ and seek to grow closer to him. There are numerous devotions a Christian can practice; here are three of them:
The Stations of the Cross:

The Stations of the Cross is a meditation on the Via Cruces (Way of the Cross) undergone by our savior in His passion. Through the stations, we can make
a spiritual pilgrimage of prayer with Christ, and offer reparations to him for the cruelties done to Him on the day of his Passion and everyday in our modern
world. By the cross, Christ conquered death and enabled the salvation of those who choose to follow him. The devil would like nothing more than to lead
us from the message of the cross and make us complacent and worldly. By practicing the devotion of the Way of the Cross, we can affirm our belief in
Christs saving power and resolve to make an effort to follow him to whatever end.
The Sacred Heart:
The devotion to the Sacred Heart originated from a vision seen by St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, in which Christ revealed to her the intent of this devotion:
And He showed me that it was His great desire of being loved by men and of withdrawing them from the path of ruin into which Satan hurls such crowds
of them, that made Him form the design of manifesting His Heart to men, with all the treasures of love, of mercy, of grace, of sanctification and salvation
which it contains, in order that those who desire to render Him and procure for Him all the honor and love possible, might themselves be abundantly
enriched with those divine treasures of which this Heart is the source. He should be honored under the figure of this Heart of flesh, and its image should be
exposedHe promised me that wherever this image should be exposed with a view to showing it special honor, He would pour forth His blessings and
graces. This devotion was the last effort of His love that He would grant to men in these latter ages, in order to withdraw them from the empire of Satan
which He desired to destroy, and thus to introduce them into the sweet liberty of the rule of His love, which He wished to restore in the hearts of all those
who should embrace this devotion.
Devotion to the Blessed Virgin MaryAs far as fighting the devil is concerned, there can be no better weapon than a faithful devotion to Blessed Virgin Mary. Whether it be through the Rosary,
Scapulars, Total Consecration, Litanies, Her Immaculate Heart etc., these are all powerful weapons. Do not underestimate the power of the Mother of God:
The Devil fears the Virgin Mary more, not only than men and angels but, in a certain sense, than God himself. It is not that the wrath, the power and
the hatred of God are not infinitely greater than those of the Blessed Virgin, since Marys perfections are limited: it is because, in the first place, Satan,
being proud, suffers infinitely more from being overcome and punished by the little, humble servant of God, her humility humiliating him more than
the divine power; and secondly, because God has given Mary such great power over devils that, as they have often been obliged to admit, in spite of
themselves, through the mouths of possessed persons, they are more afraid of one of her sighs of grief over some poor soul, than of the prayers of the
saints, and more daunted by a single threat from her than by all their other torments.
-Monsignor Leon Cristiani
Weapons of Spiritual Warfare: Part Two

SACRAMENTALS:

Since we as humans are physical beings having a body, and spiritual beings having a soul, spiritual warfare can consist of physical things that have spiritual
significance. Just like the sacraments, in which physical means are used to express a spiritual reality (water in Baptism, oil in Confirmation in etc.) so too
do sacramentals. The physical sacramental in and of itself has no intrinsic power. They are NOT good luck charms and are not to be used in a superstitious
way. Rather, they are representations of spiritual signs that, when blessed or worn within a state of grace, can ward off evil spirits, remind us of our
allegiance to Christ, and strengthen us spiritually. The devil hates anything that has to do with God, The Blessed Mother, the Saints, the Church etc.
Therefore, when we wear or use sacramentals, we are confirming our faith in God using an outward expression of our allegiance. It cannot be stressed
enough that a sacramental is not a good luck charm or anything of the like, and cannot have much value if a person relies solely on them as a means to
obtain holiness. The category of sacramentals in the Church is a very broad one that can vary from culture to culture, so here well only cover a few of the
most noteworthy ones.

Holy Mother Church has, moreover, instituted sacramentals. These are sacred signs which bear a resemblance to the sacraments. They signify effects,
particularly of a spiritual nature, which are obtained through the intercession of the Church. By them men are disposed to receive the chief effect of the
sacraments, and various occasions in life are rendered holy.

-Catechism of the Catholic Church p. 1667

The Scapular- Worn by many monastic orders, this cloth sacramental, sometimes called The Yoke of Christ (jugum Christi) or Shield (scutum), is
worn by the faithful not only to show devotion, but to serve as a reminder of Christs love and to defend the wearer from supernatural attacks. There are
many forms and variations of the scapular, such as the Scapulars of the most blessed Trinity, Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, St. Michael, The Passion etc. Along
with many scapulars come various promises; some are rooted in tradition and others are approved by Church leaders.

The St. Benedict Medal- St. Benedict was the father of Western Monasticism and the founder of the Benedictine order. His Holy Rule outlined a way of
life that countless Christians have found beneficial in reaching sanctity. The medal can be a powerful sacramental, as it has inscribed on the back the initials
of an exorcism prayer: Begone, Satan, do not suggest to me thy vanities evil are the things thou profferest, drink thou thy own poison.

Holy Water-When blessed by a priest, water can in turn used to bless other persons and objects. This is a very common yet very powerful sacramental that
can be used effectively in spiritual warfare. St. Teresa of Avila wrote of the power of holy water:

I was once in an oratory, and [the devil] appeared to me in an abominable form at my left side. Because he spoke to me, I looked particularly at his
mouth which was most frightening. It seemed that a great flame, all bright without shadow, came forth from his body. He told me in a terrifying way that
I had really freed myself from his hands but that he would catch me with them again. I was struck with great fear and blessed myself as best I could; he
disappeared, but returned right away. This happened to me twice. I didnt know what to do. There was some holy water there, and I threw it in that
direction; he never returned again I often experience that there is nothing the devils flee from more without returning than holy water.

Holy Images/Relics-As with blessed medals and holy qater, holy images such as paintings/icons of Christ, the Blessed Mother, St. Michael the Archangel
etc. are considered sacramentals, as are relics of saints.

Blessings-Blessings can consist of the blessing of places, objects, people, etc. The Sign of the Cross is a powerful sacramental blessing that can ward off
evil spirits. In essence, the Sign of the Cross affirms your faith in Christ, his triumph at the cross, and shows in an outward expression that you are reserved
for Christ, not the devil. Priests can confer blessings upon physical objects such as medals, water, holy images etc. All these can serve as deterrents to evil
spirits.

Posted on October 26, 2013

In this three-part series of posts, we will be looking at weapons of spiritual warfare. These are strategies to combat evil. They include prayer, fasting, the
contemplation of Scripture, blessed objects, penances, Eucharistic adoration, and devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. These things will not only greatly
increase your ability to fight the devil and his demons, but will strengthen you and give you the power to overcome temptations more easily in the future.
This war is real, and like any war, we need weapons to fight it. Satans influence is increasing in the world and faithful Catholics are the ones most capable
of fighting this power. Because we are children of the Church established by Jesus Christ, we have been given a tremendous gift and the ability to receive
unthinkable graces. But along with this gift we are also given a taskto fight the evils of the spiritual realms and bring ourselves and others to everlasting
glory.
For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but have divine power to destroy strongholds.-2 Corinthians 10:4
In this post, we look at the spiritual weapons of Prayer/Fasting, and the contemplation of Scripture.
Prayers: These prayers, paired with fasting (abstaining from food for a period of time) are powerful weapons against the enemy.
The Holy Rosary:
The Holy Rosary is one of the most powerful prayers we can pray, and numerous popes have declared its usefulness. It is contemplative, centered on the
gospels, engages the mental and physical faculties, and lifts our intellects to the mercy, glory, and majesty of Christ and his Blessed Mother. The Rosary is
the scourge of the devil(Pope Adrian VI). If you have not been taught how to pray the Rosary, its easy to learn and can be prayed anywhere. For more
information, see: http://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/devotionals/rosaries/how-to-pray-the-rosary.cfm
Say the Holy Rosary. Blessed be that monotony of Hail Marys which purifies the monotony of your sins!
-St. Josemaria Escriva
Divine Mercy Chaplet:
The Divine Mercy Chaplet comes from the writings of St. Faustina Kowalska, a Polish nun who received revelations of Christs overflowing mercy. The
chaplet is prayed on rosary beads, and is simple and powerful. Sometimes the devil can use our past sinfulness to induce despair in our hearts. He can also
lead us to fear when we think about our future. The message of Divine Mercy is to trust in Jesus and his mercy completely, the last thing Satan wants.
How to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet: http://thedivinemercy.org/message/devotions/praythechaplet.php

Prayer to St. Michael:

This prayer was written by Pope Leo XIII after seeing a vision of Satan boasting he could destroy Christs Church:
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
by the Divine Power of God,
cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
The Divine Office:
The Divine Office is the universal prayer of the Church along with the Holy Mass. Also called the Liturgy of the Hours or the Breviary, these daily prayers
consist of psalms, hymns, and scripture that is prayed at fixed times throughout the day. Priests and consecrated religious are required to pray the Hours,
but many laity do as well. It is a great way to deepen your spiritual life and elevate your mind and heart to God. If you want to start praying the Office, it is
recommended that you have the books. However, there are some good online and audio sources that can help you pray as well. For more information see:
http://divineoffice.org/
Lectio Divina:
Reading and reflecting on Holy Scripture is very important in defending yourself from the devils influence. Lectio Divina (Latin for Divine Reading) is
an ancient form of prayer that consists of reading the Bible and contemplating its mysteries. It has four steps: Read, Meditate, Pray, and Contemplate.
Lectio Divina will bring to the Church a new spiritual springtime.-Pope Benedict XVI
Weapons of Spiritual Warfare: Next Part-Sacramentals.

1. Trustworthy
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. Proverbs
31:11
2. Seeks Good
She does him good, and not harm,all the days of her life Proverbs 31:12
3. Creative
She seeks wool and fl ax, and works with willing hands. Proverbs 31:13
4. Diligent
She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. Proverbs 31:14
5. Self-less
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for
her maidens. Proverbs 31:15
6. Resourceful
She considers a fi eld and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
Proverbs 31:16

7. Strong
She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. Proverbs 31:17
8. Economical
She perceives that her merchandise is profi table. Her lamp does not go out at night.
Proverbs 31:18
9. Driven
She puts her hands to the distaff , and her hands hold the spindle. Proverbs 31:19
10. Giving
She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. Proverbs
31:20
11. Prepared
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in
scarlet. Proverbs 31:21
12. Well-Dressed
She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fi ne linen and purple. Proverbs
31:22
13. Supportive
Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
Proverbs 31:23
14. Hard Working
She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Proverbs 31:24
15. Vision
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. Proverbs
31:25
16. Wisdom
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:26
17. Industrious
She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27
18. Respected
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
Proverbs 31:28
19. Ambitious

Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. Proverbs 31:29
20. Fears the Lord
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be
praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:30
Check out this months featured sponsor:

How To Start A Prayer Journal

Yesterday, I told you that I was going to post about my resolutions for 2013 so here
we go! My main resolution is to keep a Prayer Journal throughout the year. This year,
I really want to focus on being prayerful. When people ask me to pray for something, I
want to actually write it down and pray for them. I think that this will also be an
awesome way to see how God is working in my life and the lives of others around me.
Here is my how to on setting up a prayer journal:
1. Buy a Notebook. I bought a plain black one from staples.
2. Tab the notebook for each day of the week (& set categories)
Monday: Husband, Marriage, Relationships
Tuesday: Spiritual Life, Ministry
Wednesday: Work, Home
Thursday: Thanks/Praise, Friendships
Friday: Finances, Giving, Health
Saturday: Family, Neighbors
Sunday: Children, Church, Rest
3. Write 3 key verses about prayer at the beginning for focus, or key life verses you
may have.
Colossians 1:9-10
John 15:4-8
Philippians 4:4-7
Basically, I sectioned off the journal by days so that I can stay organized and focus on
one area each day of the week. For example, today is Wednesday, so the focus is
Work/Home; therefore, I would write down any prayers for my work, or Kevins, and
any verses that might come to my mind so that I can pray through scripture as well.

Ex: Lord, show me how to make our home a safe haven fi lled with your love and
word. Help it be a place that builds up our family a place of honesty and positivity
a source of contentment, acceptance, rejuvenation, nurturing, rest and love. I am
doing a great work and I cannot come down Nehemiah 6:3
*For urgent prayer request, I use sticky notes and move them each day.
If I dont have anything new to write down, I simply use the book as a tool to pray
through for the day. I want to let you know that by no means is this used to pray once
for the day and be done. My goal is to be in constant prayer and communication with
God. I am simply using this as a tool to be more intentional about my prayer life and
praying for others.
Throughout the bible, you see how Paul continually prayed for the people he met and
had a heavy heart for their ministry. I give thanks to my God always for you because of
the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus 1 Corinthians 1:4. I simply want to
be more like this; in constant prayer.
And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may
be fi lled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to
walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good
work and increasing in the knowledge of God. Colossians 1:9-10

The 12 Ways of a Godly Wife

1. To love him. I study him to find out what makes him tick. I seek out ways and
ask him questions to find out what makes him feel loved by me the most, and then I
pursue those ways. (Titus 2:4)
2. To respect him. He just so happens to flourish as a man when I respect him. And
I happen to think a flourishing husband is much better to live with than a husband who
is wilting. (Eph. 5:33)
3. To be his lover. Its why I married him and vice versa. (1 Cor. 7:2-5)
4. To be a wife he can trust. Hes given me his heart, so I want to handle it with
care. (Prov. 31:11)

5. To build him up and encourage him. Its a great feeling when you are
encouraged and supported by the one you are the closest to, the one you share your
bed with, and the person the Bible calls you one flesh with. (Prov. 14:1)
6. To be his friend. Life is always much more enjoyable when you can go through it
with a friend. One you can lean on, depend on, dream with, as well as laugh with.
(Prov. 27:17)
7. To fight the battles of life with him rather than against him. Life is hard
enough as it is that I dont need to be his enemy or cause him to stumble when the
battle is raging on. But rather I seek to be his co-warrior in the faith. (Eccl. 4:12)
8. To bear his burdens. Even though he is a man, that doesnt mean he is made of
steel. Hes got issues and struggles just like me, although some of them are unique to
being a man. So I want to be the kind of wife who listens to him and prays for him. I
want to be a compassionate wife. (Galatians 6:2)
9. To forgive him. If a marriage is going to thrive, forgiveness needs to be at the
core of it. I happen to want a thriving marriage. (Matt. 18:22)
10. To be more concerned about my sin rather than his sin. Its not always easy to
be a gracious wife, but it is right in Gods eyes. Therefore, I do my best to pursue this
virtue. (Matt. 7:5)
11. To be a content wife rather than a complaining wife. Im not sure that I have
anything to say about this one, except that less is more. Less talk will cause me to be
more content. Have you ever gone a whole day without complaining? I have and I
failed miserably! Pursuing the things of the Lord rather than the things of this earth
will give me a content heart. (Phil. 2:14)
12. To be a discreet wife. I dont need to be talking smack about him or sharing his
sins with the world. I personally wouldnt want him sharing with others how I
continually fall short. (Titus 2:5)
Top 15 Ways a Wife Can Strengthen Her Marriage

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,

but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4
I want a marriage where Im an excellent wife, one who is a crown to
my man, rather than a wife who causes him shame and brings
rottenness in his bones. Wow, those are some tough words to
swallow! So I strive to do these 15 things to strengthen my
marriage.
1. Respect him. Respecting your man lets him know you believe in
him and that you support him, his vision, and his leadership abilities.
and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians
5:33
2. Pray for him.
3. Encourage him.
4. Follow him.
5. Put him before your children.
6. Help him and serve him
And the LORD God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I
will make him a helper comparable to him. Genesis 2:18
7. Accept him, short comings and all. (We all have them!)
8. Desire him. Yep, thats why we married them. (wink)
9. Forgive him- let things go, otherwise youll be bitter. You can read
more on bitterness in this post.
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly
Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

10. Dont treat him like a child; you are not his mother, you are his
wife.
11. Be content with how much money he makes.
12. Be content with his parenting skills.
13. Be content with his walk with the Lord (aka, his ability to be the
spiritual leader of the home).
Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 Timothy 6:6
14. Be intentional about being a godly wife. Your conduct will help
your husband rise to the challenge/occasion of being a more godly
husband. Remember, you are a wife of influence!
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if
some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by
the conduct of their wives. 1 Peter 3:1
15. Leave and cleave; make sure you share your heart with your
husband more than with anyone else, including your mother, sister,
friends, etc.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to
his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
When applied, all these things will cause you to be an excellent wife,
one who is a crown to your husband!
Now, are these things easy to do? Not even close! Its a daily dying
of our sinful nature as we choose to live a life that is pleasing to the
Lord.
So, can we overcome our flesh? Why, yes, yes we can with Jesus!

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him
who loved us. Romans 8:37

8 Habits of a Gracious Wife

At the beginning of mine and Erics dating relationship it was easy
for me to be a gracious girlfriend, after all, through the girlfriend
lenses that I was wearing, the guy I was dating could so easily walk
on water! I was a gracious girl who thought being gracious toward
my guy was effortless.
Then I became a gracious bride-to-be. This wasnt hard either since
we were married 6 months after we had started dating. Yes, I was
living a whirlwind romance! And what bride-to-be, who has been
swept off her feet, is not gracious toward her groom? Ive yet to
meet one.
I think most brides start off their marriage with the intentions of
being gracious toward their man, after all, who would want to marry
a guy they were constantly displeased with?
But then the marriage begins
Like all marriages, the exhilaration of ours died down and the
settling of our lives took place, hence, becoming a bitter wife
seemed so much easier than being a gracious one!
I remember a defining moment in my marriage when I was
attending a Bible study years ago. I had been married less than a
year. There I sat with all older women; women who had been saved
longer than I had been and women who had been married longer
than me as well. I was hoping to learn and glean some wonderful
nuggets of truth from them (and I did) but I also learned what not to
do based on their words and actions. As a few women talked about
their marriages and their men, what I learned from them was that
they had bitterness growing in their hearts. They werent

necessarily bashing their guys, but they werent exactly thrilled

about them either. I wondered what happened in their marriages.
What made them so disappointed? After all, these were all Godly
women.
I pondered their perspectives and I mentally took notes. I remember
that night so well back in 1998 and I resolved in my heart to not let
myself become a bitter wife, however, I wasnt quite sure how I was
going to go about this! I knew I needed to guard my heart from
becoming bitter toward Eric, but I didnt think that thought process
was enough to protect my heart. I felt I needed to be proactive is
this pursuit rather than just reactive, therefore, I set out on a
journey of becoming a gracious wife. I quickly learned that the
prescription to ward off a bitter wife was to become a gracious one.
Below are some habits Ive embraced in my life to help me in this
endeavor. Of course Im not always perfect in this pursuit, but these
habits have helped me from developing a bitter heart towards my
beloved.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of
kindness. Prov. 31:26
8 Habits of a Gracious Wife

1. Be consistent in reading the Word of God and remain abiding in

Christ. Jesus Christ is the Source of grace, therefore, remain
attached to the Source. A wife cant pour out grace unless
grace is being poured into her.
2. I quickly learned I couldnt be gracious in my own strength. I
needed to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to move in my
heart to help me in this pursuit.
3. Ive had to keep my eyes focused on my sin rather than on my
husbands.

4. I needed to go to the Lord with my concerns and frustrations

first.
5. I learned not to stuff my feelings. After Ive spent time with the
Lord, then I would respectfully express my concerns with my
husband.
6. When my husband failed or disappointed me, I had to learn to
let things go and let God move in his heart.
7. Ive had to teach myself to focus on my husbands strengths
rather than his weaknesses.
8. I would surround myself with other wives who desired to be
gracious towards their husbands. If I couldnt find any because
they were just learning this biblical concept, then I would try to
influence them! This pursuit was and still is a great source of
accountability for me.
If youre struggling with bitterness in your heart towards your
husband, heres a post Ive written that will get to some root issues
to help you overcome in this area.
With all of my gracious seeking habits aside, let me share with you
something you might find interesting. My favorite wife of the Bible
during this season of my life is, The Bitter Wife.

Portrait of a Titus 2 Woman

For my birthday, a friend of mine gave me a book by Carolyn Mahaney. Carolyn and her
daughters are the authors of the website Girl Talk. Its a fantastic resource for women!
The book is called Feminine Appeal. I have just started it but it is very good so far. She is
basing the book on Titus chapter 2 verses 3-5. The Message version of this passage says :
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or
addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to

love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind,
and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Mrs. Mahaney remarks that with the focus of our society, we educate for every career.
Every job requires some sort of training. But marriage? Motherhood or homemaking? Most
of the time, the majority of women are just thrown in head first, perhaps with only so much
as a little helpful advice. The author writes:
Isnt it telling that our culture requires training and certification for so many vocations of lesser
importance, but hands us marriage and motherhood without instruction? Fortunately, God
hasnt left us to fend for ourselves. He has provided invaluable wisdom for women in His Word.
(Mahaney,20)
And that is true! But God does not leave us without a guide.
According to the passage in Titus, more mature women are to take younger women under
their wing and teach them. What are they to teach them? to be reverent in the way they
live, not be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.
How Do We Become Titus 2 Women?
How do we learn this? By example. We learn by what we see. Its basic, natural instincts.
Monkey see, monkey do. Teach them to be reverent in the way they live Reverent means to
show deep and solemn respect. By example, we are to teach how to live a respectful
lifestyle that honors God.
The passage tells us more about this lifestyle:
urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure,
to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign
the word of God.
God lays it all out for us here. These are the things we are to teach the younger Christians.
We live a reverent life by,
Urging each other to love our husbands and our children.
So often, I fail at loving them the way God calls me to love them; the way He loves me.

Later in the book, Ms. Mahaney speaks about the different types of love. The love quoted in
this passage is Phileo which is often used as a description of the love between good friends
(pg 32). Carolyn describes Phileo love as,
a tender, affectionate, passionate kind of love. It emphasizes enjoyment and respect in a
relationship (pg 32).
Encouraging each other to be self-controlled and pure.
We cant be perfect but we are called be pure of heart, mind, and body. We maintain this
purity by self-control.
I heard once about a father who was trying to teach self-control to his teenage son. He said
to his son, Hey! Go grab your coat and shoes and all the money youve been saving to buy
that new video game. Were going to the store! His son, of course, was ecstatic. When they
arrived at the store, the boy picked up the video game and even played a demo of the
game. As they were preparing to leave, the father said, Ok, put the game back, lets go.
With a shocked expression, the son said But, Dad! I thought we were buying this today!?
With a serious face and loving eyes the father replied, Just because you have something
you desperately want within your grasp, and you even have the means to take it, doesnt
mean you should have it. Lets go.
Encouraging each other to stay busy at home.
To me, this is an encouragement in the form of a command. Our home is a place of solace.
It should be peaceful, inviting and warm. I so struggle with keeping busy at home with the
things that need done. God says, stay busy! After all, keeping busy accomplishes much and
keeps us out of trouble.
Encouraging each other to be kind.
Why do you think God separates this command? Probably because its important
Remember the verse? I learned it in a song Be ye kind, one to another, tender-hearted,
forgiving one another even as God, in Christ, has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 .
And lastly,

Encouraging each other to remain subject to our husbands.

God is not anti-female. He is not antagonistic. He loves you and He wants the best for your
marriage.
What would happen if more mature Christian women encouraged younger Christian
women to do this on a daily basis? Do you think there would be a reversal of the 50+
percentage of divorces in the country? To be subject is to be dependent upon or under the
authority of someone or something. We are all under some type of authority whether we
like it or not. But in this case, its a place of protection. A place of honor. A place of dignity.
(The above statement is directed at safe, monogamous marriages where both partners are
Christians.)
Living out the Titus 2 Model
If you know a younger Christian woman, seek her out. If you are mother with daughters,
teach them these things diligently. If you are a young Christian wife or mother, seek out
godly counsel. Gods plan for us is always good and right. We should follow His ways and
then, we will lead a blessed life.
Ten pithy sayings from John Witherspoon, Scottish Presbyterian pastor, President of Princeton
(1768-1794), and signer of the Declaration of Independence, on parental authority and child
rearing:
1. The best exercise in the world for children is to let them romp and jump about, as soon as
they are able, according to their own fancy.
2. A parent that has once obtained and knows how to preserve authority will do more by a
look of displeasure, than another by the most passionate words and even blows. It holds
universally in families and schools, and even the greater bodies of men, the army and navy,
that those who keep the strictest discipline give the fewest strokes.
3. There is not a more disgusting sight than the impotent rage of a parent who has no
authority.
4. I have heard some parents often say that they cannot correct their children unless they
are angry; to whom I have usually answered, then you ought not to correct them at all.
5. Nothing can be more weak and foolish, or more destructive of authority, than when
children are noisy and in an ill humor, to give them or promise them something to appease
them.
6. Let it always be seen that you are more displeased at sin than at folly.
7. Nothing is more destructive of authority than frequent disputes and chiding upon small

matters. This is often more irksome to children than parents are aware of.
8. I am fully persuaded that the plainest and shortest road to real politeness of carriage, and
the most amiable sort of hospitality is to think of others just as a Christian ought, and to
express these thoughts with modesty and candor.
9. Many parents are much more ready to tell their children such or such a thing is mean, and
not like a gentleman, than to warn them that they will incur the displeasure of their Maker.
10. It is a very nice thing in religion to know the real connection between, and the proper
mixture of, spirit [i.e., matters of the heart] and form [i.e., disciplines like family worship and
church attendance]. The form without the spirit is good for nothing; but on the other hand,
the spirit without the form never yet existed.
All quotes are taken from Witherspoons Letters on the Education of Children, and On
Marriage.
What are the Benefits and Costs of Making Disciples?

Recently I found a discussion about the pluses and minuses of Public versus Private
Schooling versus Home Schooling. I realized that they missed one more option; Disciple Like
Jesus.
There are at least four Components of what Jesus did: See Implications Here
1.
2.
3.
4.

Jesus
Jesus
Jesus
Jesus

told His disciples to follow Him, rather than unbelieving teachers.

was with His disciples all day long.
constantly taught His disciples scripture and showed them how to minister to others.
protected His disciples from the wolves He sent them out in twos

Here are the benefits of parents making disciples like Jesus did.
+is obedience to the Great Commission.
+will make you and your children more like Jesus.
+will grow you in the faith more than anything you have ever done.
+will do something for your children that will otherwise never happen in their lives.
+will leave you with no regrets, because you will have spent much time with your children.
+will create deep, lifetime relationships with your children.
+will enable parents to guide their children in Gods call on their lives.
+will unite your family.
+will bring scripture to life in your family.
+will equip you and your children to live for Christ.
+will bring godly fruit early in life for your children.
+will teach you and your children to glorify the Lord, and prepare you to do this in heaven.
+will lead your family into the abundant life that Jesus promised.
+will help you avoid the wolves that threaten your family; virtually all threats will be
reduced or eliminated.
+will make the teen years of your children more blessed for you and for them.
+will prepare your childs heart in way that you will be an influence in their life in the future.
+will produce an eternal impact for the Kingdom of God.

What are the costs related to the Disciple Like Jesus approach?
-will cause you to personally assume the task of making disciples; this is hard work.
-will cause you to repent often for failing to walk the talk.
-will show you how inadequate you are without Gods help.
-will cause you to ask for forgiveness of your family often as your actions are not biblical.
-will cause you discomfort as you reject some choices that most other parents are making.
-may cause you to critically evaluate and give up some activities that you now enjoy.
-will cost you a great amount of personal time.
-may cause you to give up some hobbies that take time away from your family.
-may cause you to quit your job or change it so that you can be with your children.
-may cause you to lose your status in the community as you quit or change your job.
-may cause you to sell cars, homes, boats, etc. so that you can make disciples.
-may leave you with less in the bank.
-may place you at odds with extended family who will encourage you to keep status quo.
-will cause you to stand out since you will be together as a family.
-will place your family under scrutiny since you will be doing things differently.
-will cause you to be vigilant in protecting your family, and that will lead to inconvenience.
Train up a Child
Many years ago, someone pointed out that the book of Proverbs has 31 chapters, making it
ideal for a month-long Bible reading project. So I read one chapter a day for a month, and
the experience was so rewarding I kept doing it, month after month for about a year,
repeating the same verses as I was going through different issues in my life, to the point
that at least some of them started to sink in.
Though some of the Proverbs went over my head, others were startlingly illuminating. The
mercy of the wicked is cruel (12:10). Exactly! As we see in the whole continuing history of
godless ideologies that win traction by promising compassion, empathy, and niceness, but
end with varying combinations of gulags, tyranny, terrorism, and AIDS.
He who is estranged seeks pretexts to break out against all sound judgment (18:1 rsv).
Exactly! That is why the most persuasive arguing - including Christian apologetics - often
fails to change peoples minds. And why sin is the beginning of unbelief, as the sinner,
wanting to justify himself, then comes up with all kinds of reasons why Christianity must not
be true. (Other translations render the verse along the lines of the esv: Whoever isolates
himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. The same notion is
there, that a prior alienation gives rise to breaking out against truth, and that unbelief has
its roots in the will.)
I kept finding a wealth of advice both practical and profound, telling me how to resolve
conflicts and get along with people. I learned that I am to plan, make decisions, and take
action, but that God, nevertheless, is the one who leads, determines, and establishes the

outcome. The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps (16:9). Many
are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand (19:21). I
learned that my own mind, apart from Gods Word, will lead me astray. Even if my
idea seems to make so much sense. There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is
the way to death (14:12). And even if I am convinced that I am really a good person, that I
am virtuous, that I reside on the moral high ground, All the ways of a man are pure in his
own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit (16:2).
Not only the individual verses but the structure of the book of Proverbs conveys wisdom. Its
purpose, according to the first chapter, among other things, is to give knowledge and
discretion to the youth (v. 4). Though the wise too will hear and increase in learning,
many of the proverbs take the form and context of the teaching that goes on within a family.
Hear, my son, your fathers instruction, and forsake not your mothers teaching (1:8). And,
indeed, it is all here, showing that not much has changed after all in the temptations and
problems that teenagers face. Whether in the twenty-first century or the time of Solomon,
youth must be taught to resist peer pressure (My son, if sinners entice you, do not
consent, 1:10) and extra-marital sex (Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a
forbidden woman? 5:20). As are other traps such as drunkenness (20:1; 23:29-30; 31:4-7)
and laziness (15:19; 19:24; 24:30-34), each of these temptations and the consequences of
succumbing to them are explicated in vivid detail. As are the contrary rewards of
faithfulness, such as the fruits of industry (13:4), the proper use of wine (31:6-7), true
friendship (17:17), and the blessings of marriage, including sexual satisfaction (5:15-19).
All of these flow not from external restrictions or legalistic rules but from a living faith in the
Lord: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all
your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths (3:5-6).
Parents are to form their children - morally, spiritually, and in the pragmatic ways of how to
function in everyday life. The book of Proverbs both teaches and models how this should be
done, how to train up a child in the way he should go (22:6). This is what families are for.
Culture, whose foundation is the family, is supposed to help.
Anthropologists tell us that the artifacts of a culture - its songs, stories, and works of art help to convey the values of that culture to the next generations. Adults enculturate
children. And those children, when they grow up, enculturate their children. If they do not,
the culture will die out.
Conscientious parents trying to fight todays trends must now deal with the phenomenon
known as the toxic parent, one who does not try to train up a child in the way he should

go but instead wants to be considered cool and so indulges the child, to the point of
enabling his experimentation with sex, alcohol, and drugs. (Something to keep in mind when
your teenager assures you that a parent will be chaperoning the party. Is this a Proverbstype parent or a toxic parent?)
Todays pop culture is unlike any other in history, in being driven by children rather than by
adults. Us aging baby-boomers still tend to listen to the music that we listened to as
children. Our styles and fashions and entertainment - and even, increasingly, what we do in
church - are determined by what young people like. No wonder they have all become,
literally, juvenile. In todays topsy-turvy and increasingly infantile culture, Proverbs not only
helps children become adults; it also helps adults become adults.
Raising Obedient Children
Here are a few ways that we are trying to raise obedient children:
1. We are confident in our God-given parental authority.
God has set parents in place as the authority figures in the lives of children. Hebrews 12
speaks of how discipline is actually a privilege of being a son. Dont fear that your child will
resent your discipline. On the contrary, they will soon realise that it is a sign of your love for
them.
2. We never count to three.
The counting-to-three routine undermines your authority and places your child in the driving
seat. You are training them that, essentially, obedience is a negotiation and they can
determine the timing of their obedience. Train them to think, I must obey straight away.
3. We model it ourselves to authority figures in our lives.
Several times a year there is a clash between what my boss is asking me to do and what
my family and I would like to do. I always seize these opportunities to explain to my boys
that I must obey my boss straight away and with a good attitude, and that although I would
much rather spend Saturday morning with them, I must obey my boss and go to that
meeting.
4. We try not to exasperate our children (Eph. 6:4).
Avoid petty rules. Pick your battles. Be merciful and compassionate. When you are in the
wrong, say a sincere sorry to them. Also, make sure that you are giving them sufficient
attention so that they are not compelled to rebel just to get some time and attention from
you.
5. We use appropriate forms of punishment.
We discipline mostly for three Ds: disobedience, disrespect, and destruction (of property or
your brothers nose). Punishment must be proportional to the offense and also proportional
to the childs stage of life. If it is not then you will find that you exasperate a growing child.
Also, the mode of punishment must be what will best help the child. Different parents have
more faith in some forms of punishment than others, and different children respond
differently to different forms of punishment. I acknowledge and respect that, although we

have had continued success with the primary biblical form of disciplining children with a
wooden spoon on their chubby bottoms.
6. We are convinced that it really is worth the effort.
The joy of parenting increases dramatically when you have obedient children, and most
importantly, you are equipping your children with the vital life-skill of obedience, which will
stand them in good stead in their obedience to God, life, at school, and in the workplace.