Those who repented to Allah SWT

This is an interesting account of a true story of Layla Al Helw, a Moroccan woman who had been
afflicted by cancer, and the doctors were completely helpless to cure her.

The best specialists of Europe had no hope for her recovery – even Layla herself lost all hope – but
Allah Subhanuhu wa ta’ala (SWT) had the solution….

Sister Layla tells of her ‘Imaan-boosting’ story in her own words – as it is originally a translation
from French, please do excuse any grammatical errors. Translated, edited and abridged from the
book titled: “Those who repented to Allah”, written by: Ibrahim Abdullah Al Hazemy.

Layla says:

“9 years ago I found out that I have a very dangerous disease, cancer… everyone here knows even the
mention of this name is scary!”.. My faith in Allah was very weak. I had completely drifted away from the
remembrance of Allah SWT, and I used to think that one’s beauty and health shall remain
all her life… I never ever thought I would be afflicted by a disease like cancer… and so when I found out, it
did shake me so strongly from the inside… I thought of escaping… but, where? Where in the world I can
escape from this disease that is inside me wherever I go? I thought of committing suicide! But… I was
deeply in love with my husband and my children… I did not think of Allah’s punishment if I committed
such a sin… because, as I told you before, I was far away from remembering Allah.. It was of Allah’s will
that this disease was the reason for my guidance and the reason for guiding a lot of people as well.

I went to Belgium, and I visited many doctors there.. they told my husband that I first have to remove my
breasts, then go on certain medication! I knew that such medication would make my hair fall and my eye
lashes and brows to disappear.. it shall also grow a beard on my face and make the nails and teeth fall as
well… so I completely refused this solution.. “I would rather die with my breasts, teeth and everything that
Allah has created for me than to live without them”, I said… I asked the doctors to give me another
medication course that is less effective.. and so they did.

I went back to Morocco.. I used the medication course and it did not have any bad effects on my body which
made me so happy.. I thought; maybe the doctors were wrong and I didn’t have cancer… However, after
about six months, I started losing weight quickly, my colour started to change and I had a continuous pain..
My Moroccan doctor advised me to go back to Europe, and so I did.
There, in Belgium, was the disaster!.. the doctors told my husband that the disease has spread all over my
body, that the lungs were completely infected and that they now have no solution for my case… they said:
“you better take your wife back to her country so that she dies there!”..

My husband got shocked… and instead of going back to Morocco, we went to France thinking that we
might reach to a solution there…… But, we got in France, nothing more than what we achieved to in
Belgium!

Finally, we decided to enter the hospital to remove my breasts through a surgical therapy and go on the
strong medication (the doctors prescribed before).. However…. my husband thought of something that we
had always forgot.. something that was always too far away from our thoughts, sadly.. God inspired my
husband to take me to His holy house in Mecca.. maybe we can stand in front of Allah and ask Him to help
us find away out of this problem…

We left Paris saying: “Allaho Akbar, La Ilaha Illa Allah” (Allah is the Greatest, No God but Allah)… I was
very happy because this was the first time for me to visit the Holy House of Allah and see the “Kaaba”.. I
bought a copy of the Quran from Paris, I did not even have that with me before that!…

And we went to Mecca… When I entered the holy mosque and first saw the Kaaba I cried a lot.. the sight, of
the place of worship of the prophets of God, the Holy Mosque, the multitude of Muslims and Majesty, the
Bounty and the sheer Splendour of my Lord, Allah…!
I was crying because I couldn’t face all this, because I regretted all those past years I had spent without
praying and seeking Allah’s help… I said: “O’ Lord, the doctors were disabled to cure me… (You) have the
cure for every disease.. All the doors are locked in front of me.. I have nothing left to seek except Your door,
so please.. please Lord, don’t close Your door on me…” I kept on praying to Allah and making Dua’a while
I was going around the Kaaba.. I asked Him not to disappoint me or send me back with empty hands…

As I said before, I was completely ignorant regarding the religion of Allah, so I went to the scholars there
and asked them to guide me to the little books and supplications that can be easy to read.. They advised me
to read as much as I can from the Quran.. They have also advised me to make a lot of “Tadhalloo” from
Zamzam water (Tadhalloo: is to drink a lot of water until the water reaches your ribs)… They have also
advised me to mention Allah’s name a lot and make Salat on the prophet SAAWS.. In Allah’s holy place I
felt very peaceful and relieved.. I asked my husband to allow me to not go back to the hotel and stay in the
“Haram” all the time (the holy mosque).. He gave me his permission to stay there.. In the holy mosque, there
were some Egyptian and Turkish sisters beside me, who saw me crying a lot.. They asked me about the
reason.. I told them that I came to the holy house of Allah and I never thought I would love it that much! I
also told them that I have cancer.. They kept beside me all the time and did not leave me.. they also took the
permission of their husbands to stay with me at the mosque… During that time, we rarely slept.. we ate very
little quantities of food.. but we drank a lot of “Zamzam” water.. And as the prophet SAAWS said,
“Zamzam water is for whatever you drink it for, If you drink it for the intention of being cured, Allah SWT
shall cure you.. If you drink it because you are thirsty, Allah shall quench you out of thirst…” etc. and so we
didn’t feel hungry.. We kept on doing Tawaf (going around the Kaaba) continuously.. and read Quran a lot..
This was the way we were day and night.

When I came to the holy house of God I was very thin, and the upper part of my body and my breasts were
filled with swells, blood and pus… This was because the cancer had completely spread all through the upper
part of my chest… so the sisters kept on begging me to wash the upper part of my body with Zamzam
water.. but I was very afraid to even touch it.. I was afraid to remember my sickness, because then that
sickness shall occupy my thoughts instead of remembering Allah and worshipping Him in complete
submission…. hence I was always washing my body without touching the part affected by cancer..

On the fifth day, my friends insisted that I should go over my whole body with Zamzam water.. at the
beginning I refused.. but I felt something forcing me to do it! I slowly started trying to go through the parts I
always avoided, over my chest.. but I became frightened again… then I felt this thing forcing me again.. I
hesitated… and on the third turn, I forced my hand to the upper part of my body and finally went over my
breasts! Something unbelievable happened.. there were no swells.. no blood.. no pus!!! I couldn’t believe
what I felt.. I went over my breasts with my hand again, and it was true! Yes that was true!.. I shivered!! But
I remembered that Allah SWT is capable of doing anything whatsoever….

I asked one of my friends to touch my body with her hand and look for the swells.. she did! ..and they all
automatically shouted: Allahu Akbar.. Allahu Akbar!! I ran to my husband in the hotel… When I saw him, I
tore my shirt up and said: “look at Allah’s Mercy!” I told him of what happened and he couldn’t believe it!!..
He cried and cried.. He said: “Do you know that the doctors swore that you shall die within a period of three
weeks only”? .. I said: all fate is within the Hands and Will of Allah (Praised be He), no one knows what the
future is holding for us except for Him SWT.

We stayed in the holy house of Allah for one week, I thanked Him for His un-countable Graces.. Then we
went to the prophet’s mosque in Medina.. then we travelled to France.. There, the doctors were confused and
surprised.. they nearly become crazy!! “Are you the same person?!”, they asked me.. I was very proud to
say: YESS!! .. and this is my husband.. we have returned to God.. and I now fear nothing but Allah SWT..
The fate is from Him SWT…. They told me that mine is a very strange case.. they said they want to examine
me again.. They did it again, and they found… nothing! Before, I could hardly breath because of the swells..
but when I went to Allah’s holy place and asked Him to cure me, the cancer has all gone…

I looked for the “seerah” (biography) of the Prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) and his companions (may
Allah be pleased with them).. I read them and I cried a lot.. I cried, as I was regretting all what I have missed
in my past life.. I missed the love of Allah and His prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam)… I, a humble
slave of My Lord, who should have Loved Allah with all my soul, had spent my love, for all these years, on
meaningless things of this world…. I cried for the time I have wasted away from Allah SWT, my
Creator….. time which we should all spend worshipping Allah whilst loving Him truly, and loving the
Messenger by following His Noble Example, his Sunnah and the Hadiths…

I ask Allah to forgive me, my husband and all Muslims… and to accept me as His sincere worshipper.

And when My slaves ask you concerning Me, then I am indeed near. I respond to the invocations of
the supplicant when he calls on Me. So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led
right. (Qur’an 2:186)

The Prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) has said that: ” Zamzam water is what one intends to
drink it for. When one drinks it to be healed, Allah heals him; when one drinks it to be full, Allah
makes him full; and when one drinks it to quench his thirst, Allah quenches it. ” [ Ahmad, and Ibn
Majah]

I would like to know readers view on this...so pls leave ur views in cmnts...

JazakAllahu khair for reading,

Please share with friends and with source back link.

Assalamu Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu

Indeed, all praises are due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His Aid, and beg for His Forgiveness. We
seek refuge in Allah from the evil in ourselves and from the evil outcomes of our deeds.

Most likely all of us have seen on facebook the event “Everybody Draw Muhammad” which is scheduled to
take place on May 20th.and many muslims are trying to react on this in very bad way which is indeed not an
act of a Muslim. There are several important points that we must consider when reacting to such insults
against our faith.

As Muslims, we love and glorify our Prophet but we don’t just believe and glorify him; we believe in all the
Prophets sent to mankind. We believe that all Prophets sent by Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) were among the
best of the people and if anyone disbelieves or disrespects any of them then it consequently implies disbelief
or disrespect to all of them.

The first idea that should come to mind is that the Prophet has been ridiculed and disrespected many times
throughout history. In fact, as many Qur’anic verses will show us, all the noble messengers of Allah, without
exception, were badly mistreated by their own people. Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) says what can be
translated as,

“Indeed (many) Messengers were mocked before you (O Muhammad), but the scoffers
(mockers) were surrounded by that, with which they used to mock (i.e. in Allah’s
torment).”

[Surat Al_Anbiya', (verse 41)]

All prophets were abused verbally and physically, and some were even killed.

Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) mentioned many of these accusations in the Qur’an and taught us how the
prophets demonstrated patience and remained steadfast despite the abuse.
The people used to mock their prophets and accuse them of being liars, crazy, magicians, poets, and corrupt.
Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) did not ignore these false accusations. Rather addressed the insults by
responding to them objectively in a way that made the truth clear to all people.

Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) ordered the messengers to be firm and patient, and to remain focused on
delivering the message with forgiveness for the ignorant. Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) says what can be
translated as,

“(O Muhammad) Therefore proclaim openly, that which you are commanded, and turn
away from the polytheists. Truly! We will suffice you against the scoffers…Indeed, We
know that your breast is distressed at what they say. So glorify the praises of your Lord
and be of those who prostrate themselves (to Him) and worship your Lord until there
comes unto you the death.”

[Surah Al-Hijr, (Verses 94, 95, 97, 98&99)]

We should understand that this mockery of the Prophet Muhammad [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam]
does not lessen him in anyway from his noble position in the eyes of Allah or the people.

Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) is the One who raised him in his position and stature in this life and the
Hereafter. Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) says what can be translated as,

“And We raised high your fame (O Muhammad).”

[Surat Ash-Sharh, (Verse 4)]

Allah raised him in stature and fame because of the special qualities that He (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) has given
to him. Surely the one whose fame is raised high by Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) no one can lower it. Allah
(Subhana Wa Ta’ala) raised his Prophet’s fame high when he combined His Prophet’s name with His own
name in the Shahaddah, “Ashadu Al La Ilaha Ila Allah, Wanna Muhammadar Rasullah.” This
statement has been repeated many times by those who deliver speeches, those who call for prayer, and those
who pray. Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) raised high his Prophet’s fame when Allah took oath on all the
previous Prophets to believe in Muhammad and to order their followers to believe in him as well. Allah
(Subhana Wa Ta’ala) has raised high his Prophet’s fame in many other ways. Some scholars count over fifty
instances, but we do not have enough time today to mention them all.

We should understand that the mockery of the Prophet is a test from Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) for us.
Allah is watching how we will react to this test. The decision of our actions is up to us. Will we react in the
proper way by controlling our emotions and anger, or will we overreact and commit mistakes like the
injuring and killing of people and damaging property? Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) and His Prophet
[Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] would not be pleased with us if we tried to correct a mistake by committing
other serious mistakes.

We should understand as Muslims that this mockery of the Prophet comes as a test to determine the type of
relationship we truly have to the Prophet [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam]. Is it a strong and correct relationship
as Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) and His Prophet [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] want it to be? Or is it a weak
and incorrect relationship?

To answer this we must ask ourselves the following questions:

1. Did we learn about the personality of the Prophet Muhammad [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam]
through the study of his biography and teach it to our children, to the Muslims, and non-Muslims
alike?
 2. Did we learn about the personality of the Prophet Muhammad [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam]
through the study of his sayings and actions and teach it to our children, to the Muslims, and non-
Muslims alike?
3. Did we learn how to live our lives and make him our best example in all aspects of our
religious and worldly lives through the study of his biography and traditions?
4. Do we truly believe in him and believe in what he conveyed to us from his Lord and obey
him in all his commands?
5. Do we truly love him deeply from our hearts; a love that is more special and stronger than our
love to our wealth, ourselves, our families, and all other people?
6. Do we truly carry his message and convey it to all of mankind until it becomes a mercy for
them as Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) wants it to be? Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) says what can be
translated as,

“And We have sent (You O Muhammad) not but as a Mercy for the Alalamin
(all that exists).”

[Surat Al_Anbiya', (verse 107)]

7. Do we truly honor him by invoking our prayers, blessings, and salutations on him as Allah
(S.W.T.) order us in what can be translated as, “O you who believe! Send your Salat on him
(Muhammad) with the salutation.” [Surat Al-Ahzab, (verse 56)]
8. Do we supplicate to him by repeating what the Muazzain says when calling to prayer and
asking Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) to grant him Al-Wasillah, which is the highest degree in
Paradise?
9. Do we truly respect him as we have been commanded by Allah (S.W.T.) by not calling him
in the same way we call onto each other, and by not raising our voices in his place?

As for the people who want to hurt the Prophet Muhammad [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] by their mockery
we warn them of what Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) says in what can be translated as,

“Verily, those who annoy Allah and His Messenger (Muhammad) Allah has cursed them
in this world and in the Hereafter. And has prepared for them a humiliating torment.”

[Surat Al-Ahzab, (verse 57)]

We should ask ourselves the question, “If Prophet Muhammad [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] was alive
today how would he respond to these insults?”

We will find the answer to this question if we study his biography.here it is….

When the Quraysh in Mecca persecuted the prophet he decided to seek assistance from the tribe of Thaqif.
He [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] was hopeful that they would accept Islam. When he [Salallahu Alayhi
Wasallam] arrived in At-Ta’if, he approached a group of the leaders from the tribe of Thaqif. He sat down
with them, and called them to Islam. However, they received him in a very disrespectful manner. In fact,
their harshness and ugly words took him utterly by surprise.

The Messenger then asked them, at very least, not to inform the Quraysh of his visit, but they refused. They
then stirred up their slaves and children against him, and ordered them to curse and shout at him. They threw
stones at him until his feet bled. He [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] eventually reached a garden and after
resting under a shade of a tree supplicated to Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) with great humility:

“O Allah it is to You that I bring my weakness, my helplessness, and my humiliation. O Most Merciful
of the merciful, You are the Sustainer of those who are deemed weak, and You are my Sustainer. On
whom but You shall I rely? On some distant personage who regards me with displeasure? Or on a foe
to whom I have surrendered? So long as You are not displeased with me, then I have no cause for
dismay. I take refuge in the light of Your face by which the darkness is illuminated, and in which both
this world and the next are set aright. The well-being which You bestow upon me is too all
encompassing for You to pour out Your wrath or displeasure upon me. To You I shall continue to
turn until I have won Your favor, and there is no power or strength except in You.”

In another incident, A’isha (R.A.) asked the Messenger of Allah, “Have you ever gone through any
experience harsher than the battle of Uhud?” He [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] replied,

“The most difficult thing that I ever suffered at the hands of your people was on the day of Al-Aqabah, when
I presented myself to on of their leaders, and he did not respond as I had hoped. I departed, feeling anxious
and lost, and I remained in this state until I reached an area outside of Mecca. Then I looked up, and what I
found was that I was in the midst of a cloud which had overshadowed me. When I looked to see what was
happening, I saw Gabriel in the cloud, calling to me and saying, “Allah Almighty has heard the words
spoken to you by your people and the manner in which they responded to you. Moreover, He has sent you
the angel of the mountains, for you to give him whatever command you so desire.” Then the angel of the
mountains called out to me with a greeting of peace, saying, “O Muhammad, Allah has heard the words
spoken to you by your people, and I am the angel of the mountains. You Lord has sent me to you, for you to
give me whatever command you wish. What then do you command? If you want me to bring the two great
mountains of Mecca down upon them, I will do so.” But I said, “All I wish is for Allah to bring forth from
their offspring those who worship Allah alone and associate no partners with Him.”

[Reported by Imams Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet Muhammad [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] always used to supplicate to Allah (Subhana Wa
Ta’ala) by saying, “O’ Allah forgive my people because they do not know.” [Reported by Imams Bukhari
and Muslim]

Also after the battle of Uhud some of his companions asked him to curse the Quraysh because of what they
have done to him and he responded, “O’ Allah guide them and bring them into Islam.” Allah (Subhana
Wa Ta’ala) later accepted his supplication and they became Muslims.

In another occasion, when the Prophet Muhammad [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] conquered Mecca, while
his soldiers were around him, he gathered all Meccan people in the Masjid yard and then prayed in the
Ka’bah and then came out and said to the people, “What do you think I will do with you?” They said you
are a noble brother and the son of a noble brother. The Prophet [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] then replied,
“Today I will tell you what Prophet Joseph (Yusuf) told his brothers, (which is) no harm on you today
and may Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) forgive you for all that you have done. Go! You are all free.”

After hearing all these stories from the Prophet’s Life, we come to the conclusion that if Prophet
Muhammad [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] was alive today he would not respond to these allegations except
in the same manner that he responded in the past. This is because of his great and noble personality.

Surely the Prophet [Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam] would not accept the reaction of many Muslims
around the world, who attempt to defend his honor, by causing the injury and killing of many
innocent people and the damage of property.

Today and in the future, let’s respond to these and similar allegations by educating ourselves, our
children, Muslims, and non-Muslims about Islam and the life of the Prophet Muhammad [Salallahu
Alayhi Wasallam].

This way we will please Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) and His Messenger Muhammad [Salallahu Alayhi
Wasallam] and it will be a great benefit to all mankind.
All praise is for Allah, and may His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Muhammad [Salallahu
Alayhi Wassalam), his family, his campanions and his true followers until the Day of Judgment.
Ameen

When Does a Woman Become More Beautiful?

Posted by: KING-slave of ALLAH ! on: May 14, 2010

• In: All|Allah ‫|ال‬Islam|Women In Islam

• 11 Comments

When Does a Woman Become More Beautiful?

One day, Myself – forever forbidding me from good, and enticing me into evil – asked me, “When does a
woman become more beautiful in your eyes?”

I asked, “Why do you want to know?”

Myself said, “If I tell you, will you answer my question? ”

I said, “Yes!”

Myself said, “Satan – our grand teacher – is making a survey of what makes the woman more beautiful in
the eyes of men”

I asked, “What’s this survey for?”

Myself said, “He wants to make an encyclopedia that will be distributed among the Satans of mankind and
Jinn. He wants our approach to be more scientific! Now tell me, when does the woman become more
beautiful in your eyes?”

I asked, “Do you have ways of making a woman more beautiful in the eyes of men?”

Myself said, “Yes, there are many ways, mannerisms and looks. Each man has his own inclinations”

I said, “Perhaps you could mention to me some of these and I will choose!”

“OK! Do you prefer a fair or dark woman?” “Neither!”

“Do you like the one with long or short hair?” “Neither!”

“The thin or fat one?” “Neither!”

“Do you like the one who uncovers her hair?” “NO!”

“Do you like the one who wears tight and short clothes” “NO!”

“What about the one who uncovers her shoulders and thighs?” “No way!”

“What about the one who sways from side-to-side while walking, strikes the floor with her high heels and
speaks softly to men??” “NO!”

“You didn’t like any of the ones I mentioned to you? I can’t think of anything else?” “Really? Try to
remember!”

….(silence)… then Myself smiled slyly, “YOU WICKED!! You like a woman when she is wearing a
bikini?!!”

“Yuck! No!!”

….(silence)… then Myself smiled again, “You evil man!” “What?”

“You like the woman who shuts the door and says come?” “NO!”

“I’ve run out of suggestions; you tell me what makes a woman more attractive to you?”

“OK! When the woman blushes and goes all red”

“Goes all red? I don’t understand?”

“She becomes more beautiful when she lowers her gaze”

“Lowers her gaze?!! What’s wrong with you? Speak clearly!”

“The woman becomes more attractive, when she becomes more modest and shy. Modesty is the thing
that attracts me and many other men. The more a woman is modest the more attractive she
becomes….Do you understand??”

This article is loosly adapted from the Arabic original – written by Ibn Muhammad -

JazakAllah khair for reading,

pls share with friends,
King
slave of ALLAH!

7 Conditions For a Woman’s Dress

A Hijab is a word that indicated the following conditions :

1. Clothing must cover the entire body, only the hands and face may remain visible
(According to some Fiqh Schools) .

2. The material must not be so thin that one can see through it.

3. The clothing must hang loose so that the shape / form of the body is not apparent.

4. The female clothing must not resemble the man’s clothing.

5. The design of the clothing must not resemble the clothing of the non believing
women.

6. The design must not consist of bold designs which attract attention.

7. Clothing should not be worn for the sole purpose of gaining reputation or
increasing one’s status in society.
The reason for this strictness is so that the woman is protected from the lustful gaze
of men. She should not attract attention to herself in any way. It is permissible for a
man to catch the eye of a woman , however it is haram (unlawful) for a man to look
twice as this encourages lustful thoughts.

Islam protects the woman, it is for this reason that Allah gave these laws. In today’s
society womankind is being exploited, female sexuality is being openly used in
advertising, mainly to attract the desires of men and therefore sell the product. Is the
woman really free in today’s society ? The answer is obviously no, the constant
bombardment by the media as to how the ideal woman should look and dress testifies
to this.

Islam liberated woman over 1400 years ago. Is it better to dress according to man or
God ?

Allah has stated in the Quran that women must guard their modesty.

“ Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their
modesty ; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must
ordinarily appear thereof. ” [Quran : 24.31]

” Say to the believing man that they should lower their gaze and guard their
modesty ; that will make for greater purity for them, and God is well aquatinted with
all they do. ” [Quran : 24.30]

“ And O ye believers turn ye all together toward God, so that ye may attain bliss. ”
[Quran : 24.31]
 How to make your Wife happy ?

Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:

• Begin with a good greeting.

• Start with Assalamau ‘Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du’aa for her as well.
• Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations

• Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.

• Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.
 • Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.
• Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc.

Friendliness and Recreation

• Spend time talking together.

• Spread to her goods news.
• Remember your good memories together.

Games and Distractions

• Joking around & having a sense of humor.

• Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.
• Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.
• Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.

Assistance in the Household

• Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired.
• The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her hard work.

Consultation (Shurah)

• Specifically in family matters.

• Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.
• Studying her opinion carefully.
• Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.
• Thanking her for helping him with her opinions.

Visiting Others

• Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting
relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)
• Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.
• Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with.

Conduct During Travel

• Offer a warm farewell and good advice.

• Ask her to pray for him.
• Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence.
• Give her enough money for what she might need.
• Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc..
• Return as soon as possible.
• Bring her a gift!
• Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.
• Take her with you if possible.

Financial Support

• The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser
with his money (nor wasteful).
• He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that
he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).
• He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.
Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

• Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.
• Always being clean and neat.
• Put on perfume for her.

Intercourse

• It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)

• Start with “Bismillah” and the authentic du’a.
• Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).
• Begin with foreplay including words of love.
• Continue until you have satisfied her desire.
• Relax and joke around afterwards.
• Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it haram
• Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and modesty) such as taking
your clothes together instead of asking her to do it first while he is looking on.
• Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting pressure on her chest
and blocking her breath, especially if you are heavy.
• Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as sometimes she maybe sick or
exhausted.

Guarding Privacy

• Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and
other private matters.

Aiding in the Obedience to Allah

• Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray “Qiyam-ul-Layl” (extra prayer done at night
with long sujood and ruku’ua).
• Teach her what you know of the Qur’an and its tafseer.
• Teach her “Dhikr” (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning
and evening.
• Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale.
• Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so.

Showing Respect for her Family and Friends

• Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents.
• Invite them to visit her and welcome them.
• Give them presents on special occasions.
• Help them when needed with money, effort, etc..
• Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the
husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her
friends and family.

(Islamic) Training & Admonition

This includes:

• The basics of Islam

• Her duties and rights
• Reading and writing
• Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs
 • Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women
• Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library

Admirable Jealousy

• Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house.

• Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men.
• Avoiding excess jealousy.

Examples of this are:

1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did not
mean
2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just.
3- Preventing her from answering the phone.

Patience and Mildness

• Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive
responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.
• Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers,
backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc..
• Forgive the mistakes she does to you.

Correcting her Mistakes

• First, implicit and explicit advice several times.

• Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings). Note that this does not
include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with
her.
• The last solution is lightly hitting (when allowable) her. In this case, the husband should
consider the following:

He should know that sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet PBUH never beat a woman or a servant.

• He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g. refusing intercourse without cause
frequently, constantly not praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of time without
permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been, etc..
• It should not be done except after having turned from her bed and discussing the matter with
her as mentioned in Qur’an .
• He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her
body.
• He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe, etc.

Pardoning and Appropriate Censure

• Accounting her only for larger mistakes.

• Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah’s rights, e.g.
delaying prayers, etc..
• Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake.
• Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad,
having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing.
• Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any
of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn’t then he does not eat and does not
comment.
• Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than
direct accusations
• Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings.
• When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others.
• Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words.

summary of the book “How to make your wife happy” by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem
Hamed.