KEY TO HUMAN HAPPINESS

By Moin Qazi

An award winning poet, Moin Qazi holds a doctorate and is an independent researcher and
consultant who has spent three decades in microfinance with State Bank of India, India’s
largest bank, where he was involved in microfinance as a grassroots manager and as head of
its microfinance operations in Maharashtra. He belongs to the first batch of managers of
commercial banks who were associated with the launch of India’s microfinance programme.
He writes regularly on development finance and environmental issues. He was a Visiting
Fellow at the University of Manchester specializing in microfinance.

We are all caught in the maze of chasing fame and fortune and of course,
power, in whatever from we can attain and exercise it. A slight reflection
will open our eyes to the eternal truth — that what all of us are seeking
ultimately is peace and contentment. Fame, fortune and power are
supposedly the means to this end. Most of us have a penchant for making
our lives and that of others a misery over the smallest of things; whereas,
happiness can be found scattered all around us to be had for the picking!
Food, clothing and shelter are the very essence of human life. Anything
over and above these basic needs are comforts and luxuries which tend to
ease our life or clutter it, depending on our amassing abilities.
It is a fallacy to think ‘the more we have the happier we will be’. We see
hordes of people who seem to have it all — money, fame, houses, cars,
yet who are miserable at heart, whose lives are devoid of the peace and
contentment all this was expected to bring.
The secret of happiness lies not in amassing material wealth, which,
beyond a point, has no intrinsic value, but in shifting the emphasis from
material pursuits to spiritual wealth, towards acquiring values and codes
of behaviour that will enhance our self-esteem and our usefulness to self
and society. To achieve this state we have to imbibe several necessary
attributes. Among them are: to imbibe the capacity to think freely, feel
deeply; to eschew malice and evil intents from our minds for they corrode
our innards; to take pleasure in the simple things of life — in the small
moments with our family, in the sunrise, in our daily activities. To take joy
in our freedom within the framework of society.
It could be that you are making the most basic of errors. You are waiting
for someone or something to make you happy. Fortunately happiness
does not rest in any one’s hands, but your own. We all generate our own
good feelings, mostly by the way we react to what is around us. Of course,
life is not all blue skies and clear sailing. Most of us slam into that brick
wall called bad luck and nobody is commenting that we enjoy the
experience
The ‘if only’ syndrome is one of the many detriments to joy. It makes us
wallow in self-pity and changes nothing, and, therefore is a senseless loss
of time and energy. Instead, it would be both productive and prudent to
live the present moment to the fullest second experiencing it deeply; for,
in truth, that is all we do have for sure. The past is beyond repair and the
future beyond grasp….
Every exertion of man is directed towards gaining lasting happiness. Yet
the happiness that we feel today is fleeting and evanescent. Most of us
experience happiness when a desire is fulfilled. If the desire is remains
unfulfilled, the mind is disturbed or unhappy.
The German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer said, “it is difficult to find
happiness within but it is impossible to find it anywhere else.” If we look
back at our life to this day, it will be a startling testament to this great
insight.
We may have experienced fleeting pleasures through sense contact and
the acquisition of objects. However, it is only when we find lasting
happiness within that that there is a genuine feeling of joy. Looking for
happiness through the acquisition of objects is like trying to catch your
own shadow. The closer you move towards it, the further it recedes. All
one has to do is catch hold of one’s self and the shadow will be caught.
In our vain attempts of trying to fill the void within us, we spend most
our lives chasing the objects of the world. We are lost in a world of
delusion and attachment, too caught up to reflect upon the words of these
great masters. They spoke out of their divine experience in an attempt to
awaken us from our slumber; it is our duty to use these pearls of wisdom
to discover that inner happiness. Each one of us, consciously or
unconsciously, is seeking permanent happiness in this changing
ephemeral world. What we need to do is look for the fountainhead of
happiness within. The source of happiness, the self, is within. It is
enveloped by desires and our self-imposed limitations. It can be
rediscovered only by undertaking the journey to the beyond that is within.
Instead of comparing ourselves constantly with ‘the haves’ and feeling
somehow cheated and deprived, it would do us a world of good to weigh
our good fortunes against those who have little. It seems, Socrates used
to walk in affluent streets and gaze at the windows of luxurious shops.
When asked by a passer-by why he repeatedly did so. When he did not
even have decent clothes he went on to say that he did it to remind
himself of how happy he was despite not having any of those things. It
would serve to remind us to stop complaining that we have no shoes and
be aware and thankful that we have feet.
Take time to say a prayer of thanks. It is odd that when we start
counting we find innumerable thing. We have to be grateful for which we
have taken as our due; good health, family, friend, may be a secure job.
Especially, count your blessings when things go wrong, it’s a panacea for
depressive thoughts. You will be surprised at how fast you feel good. If we
keep gazing at the shadow we are bound to miss all the sunshine….
Buddha’s famous sermon began with the assumption that life as we
commonly live it consist mostly of suffering. His discovery under the Bo
Tree was that the cause of human suffering is ignorance. We are always
craving satisfaction for something we call self. But there is no self. We are
merely transitory formations crystallised out of the general flux of things
and events. We must abandon this delusion of selfhood and the ignorant
cravings that go with it. And he specified: “craving for the gratification of
the passions, craving for a future life, craving for success in this life.” We
must learn through love, to interflow with the world and be a humble and
unhankering part of it. In this lies peace and perfect happiness.
That is the state of mind portrayed in the images of Buddha — a
sublime and yet not supernatural peace. Not a peace that “passeth all
understanding” — a peace that results from understanding.
It is said that miracles are only a prayer away. Prayer is also a question
of what we see. A morning cup of coffee is a moment of grace by itself. A
child’s face lit up by a smile is an invitation to laughter. A regular schedule
of work and rest are a source of deep ease and comfort.
Why do flowers open to the morning light?: Because morning is the
moment of awakening, of wonder, a time for a tenderness and beauty. It
is a time to start the day with happy dreams when the day is yet
unspoiled.
Many of us hem ourselves in a closed horizon. We hesitate to dream.
There is something about the way we live life that kills the quite joy of the
day-fly in us. We need not all grow into oaks. Not all who are old in year
are also wise. Years can bring experience, but without the ability and will
to nurse our dreams we lose the opportunity to make a difference.
Life is full of questions. We are questions ourselves. If there were only
answers, there would no longer be a sense of mystery. Deep down within,
there is the precious child that is longing to dream. Forget yesterday. It
has gone, like the water and sand that sift through our fingers. Live today
because it is all you have. And your tomorrows will rise like eagles from
the dreams that you have woven from the even and uneven threads of
your life.
A young man was getting ready to graduate college. He had long
coveted a sports car and was expecting his father to gift it to him. As
Graduation Day approached, the young man looked for signs that his
father had purchased the car and was most excited when he was finally
summoned. His father began by telling him how proud he was to have
such a fine son and then handed him a gift box.
Somewhat disappointed but still curious, the young man opened the box
and found a Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, “With
all your money you give me a Bible?” and left home, leaving behind the
holy book.
 Many years passed and the young man who was very successful in
business with a beautiful home and wonderful family, realised that he
should visit his old father whom he had not seen since that fateful
graduation morning. The very same day, however, he received a telegram
stating that his father had died, and willed all his possessions to his son.
When he arrived at his father’s home, sadness and regret filled his heart.
He began to search his father’s important papers and saw still new
Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he began to turn the
pages to the Bible, suddenly a car key dropped from an envelope taped
behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer
who had the sports car he had so desired. On the tag was the date of his
graduation, and the words… PAID IN FULL. How many times do we miss
God’s blessings because they are not packaged as we expected? When
we understand that everything that happens is part of God’s gifts, we
learn to appreciate everything and from that flows true peace and
happiness.
How many of us have noticed that the end of the busiest day has always
filled us with a sense of elation, of achievement, of worth? Simply put, it is
because work lends dignity and purpose to life without which we are
diminished. This does not mean you must have a job for which you are
paid. Just having things to do, which, if not attended to by you, will have a
telling effect, makes a difference. The joy of making a difference in
somebody’s life is a worthy feeling, as any housewife will let you know….
Liking what we do, not doing what we like is the key to a pleasurable
life. Complete interest and involvement in whatever it is that we are
engaged in at any given time takes away the drudgery from it apart from
producing the desired result.
Awareness is a prerequisite to a fulfilling life. Being aware that there are
certain things beyond our control, which we must face with fortitude, and
certain things, which can be changed with a dash of courage. Knowing
that life is made up both of small moments and long-term goals and not
missing one for the other.
Growing in mind plays a role in a satisfying life. A mind that is cultivated
to experience the joys of reading, listening to music or even pursuing a
hobby can lift a person from the trials of reality for a few beautiful
moments each day and rejuvenate him to face the next. Reading enriches
the mind, giving us an insight into different situations and types of people.
Wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without
character, business without morality and politics without principles can
only result in a spiritual vacuum, thereby destroying any chances of
finding happiness….
According to Helen Keller,” Many persons have a wrong idea of what
constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but
through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”
The best and most beautiful things
in the world cannot be seen or even
 touched — they must be felt with the
heart.
Decades of research on the positive aspects of human experience have
proved that what makes any experience satisfying is a state of mind in
which attention is totally concentrated. The self feels effortlessly free.
Emotional problems disappear and one’s abilities are at their peak. A state
of transcendence or flow has been achieved. This is the ‘auto-telic
experience’, in which the experience is not a means to a reward, but is its
own end and reward.
In an auto-telic state, concentration is so complete that there is no
attention left over to think of anything irrelevant. Painters, writers,
musicians or chess players can be so absorbed in their creative efforts
that time is completely distorted or ceases to exist. Engineers, doctors,
scientists, soldiers, athletes and mountain-climbers can experience the
same exalted state. The same is the case with technicians working in a
factory.
The difference is not between one kind of activity and another, but
between the degrees of experiential intensity. All of us are free to use our
limited attention, after all, either by focusing it intentionally or by diffusing
it in random movements. The shape and content of our lives depends on
how our attention has been used. As Saint-Beuve wrote: “I am only
fulfilled when, pen in hand, I sit in the silence of my room.”
The human nervous system is so complex that a person can make
himself happy or miserable, regardless of what is happening outside of
himself, simply by changing his consciousness. What we think, feel, see
and desire is information that we can manipulate and use. Consciousness
can be thought of as intentionally ordered information. Too many of us
end up feeling that we have wasted our lives.
So how then can we live joyfully and creatively in an indifferent
universe? The only way to do this is to control consciousness and
restructure it. Whatever we do should itself actively be the reward.
Autotelic personalities are strongly directed towards purpose, where
energy is not constricted by thoughts of the self. The Taoist scholar
Chuang Tzu observed that the right way to live was to flow spontaneously,
without hoping for rewards, yet moving with total commitment. This flow
is characterised by a feeling that one’s skills are adequate to cope with
challenges in a goal-oriented system, which, along the way, provides clues
to how one is performing.
People who are successful generally enjoy what they are doing, produce
a flow in which new skills can be developed, psychic energy increases and
actions integrate into a unified purpose: this is what we mean when we
speak of ‘a meaning to life’.
The simplicity, the sweetness and the note of contentment reflected in
this little dialogue from George Borrow’s Lavengro provide an inspiring
solace to the reader.
“Life is sweet brother”
“Do you think so?”
 “Think so: there’s night and day, brother, both sweet things, sun-
moon and stars, brother all sweet things, there’s likewise a wind
on the heath life is very sweet, brother, who would like to die?”
Mirza Ghalib, the great Urdu poet, says in one of his sonnets: Ghalib:
you accuse her of unkindness, thinking that if you level this allegation
against her, she will be kind to you. But you are utterly mistaken; her
attitude towards you would never change if you go on accusing her of
unkindness.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, the celebrated philosopher, made the following
entry in his diary, perhaps during a moment of despair; “I find myself
often idle, vagrant, stupid and hollow. This is somewhat appalling and, if I
don’t discipline myself with diligent care, I shall severely suffer from
remorse and the sense of inferiority hereafter. All around me are
industrious and would be great; I am indolent and shall be insignificant.
Avert it heaven! Avert it virtue! I need excitement.”
It is human nature to offer guidance (even when not asked for) to
people who are perceived to be in need of it. Flaws and defects in others
appear to be far more pronounced than in oneself. However, thinkers
believe that the wisdom possessed by a person needs to be used for his or
her own self-development as a human being.
It has also been explained that it is neither an individual’s duty nor a
right to try to change another person. Any form of advice will go unheard
if the person is not in agreement with it.
Philosophers and preachers have further explained that one should
improve oneself rather than try to improve others. This can be achieved
only if a person tries to appreciate the positive aspects of every human
being. To develop this attitude, a person needs to focus more on his or her
own flaws than those present in others.
Real happiness is an equanimous state of mind, when thoughts are at
rest. It is a state of cessation of agitations, which are caused by unfulfilled
desires of the mind. Desire is the thick stream of indiscriminate thought,
which flows in you, drawn towards the world of objects and beings. You
entertain desires within to fill the void or overcome the sense of
unfulfilment you feel within you.
To quieten these agitations caused by unfilled desires, we go through a
variety of experiences at the physical, mental and intellectual levels of our
personality. We contact objects, beings, emotions and thoughts of the
world and try to find fulfilment in them, e.g., a child with toys, youth with
wealth and physical pleasures, the elderly in a newspaper and old friends.
If our desires are fulfilled, we are happy and if not, we are in sorrow. But
as George Bernard Shaw said, “Man has to face two tragedies in life, one
when his desire is fulfilled and the other when it is not.” In both cases he
ultimately faces mental agitation, in one case it’s early and in the other
it’s later.
The world is in a constant flux of change. The experiences of this world
are passing and fleeting. The happiness derived from the world of objects,
emotions and thoughts is also passing in nature. For example, joy derived
from an ice cream lasts only for a while. When you read a book or
newspaper, it absorbs you only for a few hours.
So worldly happiness is not permanent. Therefore, lacking the
knowledge of true happiness and its source, one focuses on the world to
provide us with true happiness. But that results in experiencing instant
joys followed by emptiness, sorrow and suffering. A young man plucked a
beautiful rose to enjoy its fragrance. When he brought the rose in contact
with his nose to enjoy its fragrance, a bee inside the rose suddenly stung
him on the tip of his nose.
.

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