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Lindsie Rappleye
Research Paper
ENGL-1010-406-Su16
Ingredients for a Happy Marriage: The Importance of Food at an Indian Wedding
In Western culture, we are aware that food plays an integral role in our lives. We
remember our favorite childhood meals, the best restaurants weve eaten at in cities that weve
visited, the worst thing weve ever tasted; food memories become a part of us and create strong
emotional associations in our minds. If we imagine what is meant to be the happiest day of our
lives our wedding day it would be obvious that the food we serve to guests, the cake we cut,
the smells and sights of tables stacked high with bakery items or fancy plated chicken dishes,
will instill either a memory of joy and deliciousness or of the stressfulness of being dissatisfied
with our culinary choices. Americans choose much of our wedding cuisine based on our own,
and our partners, personal tastes chocolate or red velvet? Steak or salmon? Build your own
smores at an outdoorsy theme wedding? Sure. However, there are cultures in the world where
tradition tends to overshadow personal preference. For most families in India, especially
members of the Hindu religion, a wedding ceremonies is a sacred event with specific
components that have remained largely unchanged for centuries, including aspects of ceremonial
offerings of food and spices, as well as elaborate and labor-intensive dishes served to family and
guests.
Anyone that has eaten at an Indian restaurant, or even walked past one, will know that
spices play a very important role in all dishes from tea to dessert and all courses in between. In
India, spices are representative of the heartbeat of the kitchen and create the rich, fragrant

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dishes that are so fundamental to Indian cooking. Due to the opulent history of Indian spices as
not only food flavorings, but medicines with healing properties, certain spices have an
association with longevity, good fortune, happiness and success. Therefore, within a wedding
ceremony, certain ingredients are offered to members of the wedding party to signify wishes for
the outcome of the lives of the couple and their families. During a wedding ceremony, one of the
first food offerings made is a coconut. Together, the bride and her father symbolically offer a
coconut to her soon-to-be husband in a gesture of blessing and financial prosperity their wish
for him that his business ventures pay off and that the father will no longer be the financial
support of his daughter. The next emblematic custom is the crushing of cumin seeds and brown
sugar to form a paste on a betal leaf (all ingredients used in Indian cooking), which is then placed
by the bride on the grooms forehead and vice versa this display represents both the bitterness
and sweetness of the life that the couple will soon embark on. Another component of Indian life
and food culture that makes its way into the wedding ceremony is rice a staple at every meal
and a symbol of sustenance. Family members and guests are invited to shower the couple with
turmeric-colored rice (another use of spices, turmeric is representative of good fortune and
prosperity) in a gesture of good luck, while an offering of puffed rice is thrown into a sacred fire,
kept burning by ghee, or clarified butter. In the midst of a mostly somber ceremony, comes an
exuberant game played between the couple, again with rice as the focal point. The bride and
groom are good-naturedly pitted against each other to see who can throw the most rice over the
others head the winner is thought to end up the more dominant personality in their marriage. It
is important to recognize the sacred ties to certain foods or spices when used ritually, it
exemplifies a cultures deep appreciation for food, as well as the exalted status some ingredients
have garnered over time.

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When most Westerners think of an Indian wedding, what we have in mind is actually a
Hindu wedding. For once, this stereotyping seems to fall in line with reality, as over 80% of
Indias population are practicing Hindus. The Hindu wedding industry is massive in India with
guides providing tips on what to wear, what performances to give, dances to do, music to play.
There are also general rules on what to serve guests, what theyll be expecting and how to
surprise them. A staple of nearly all weddings is a chaat table, consisting of an assortment of
snacks made popular by roadside food carts. Guests are able to put together their own plates of
savory fried potatoes, crisp breads, samosas and chickpeas. As with all Indian cuisine, many
spices and sauces are available to guests to create the perfect personal flavor combination. There
tends to be certain flavors in Indian cuisine that can be combined in multitudes of ways, with
many different dishes, to create a customizable food experience. The chaat table is a perfect
example of this with small dishes of yogurt sauce, tamarind sauce, mint chutney and mango
chutney, as well as many chopped fresh vegetables and even a blend of spices to be served
specifically with chaat, called masala chaat. The idea of the chaat table is comparable to the hors
doeuvres and finger foods commonly served at weddings in the US.
Snacking on chaat is just the beginning for guests of a Hindu wedding, as food is
seemingly infinite at most celebrations. Predominately, in Indian culture, love and affection is
shown through the creation and sharing of food. For many Hindus, this means there will be a
mixture of vegetarian and meat dishes, as it is not strictly required that followers not eat meat.
This will of course depend on individual family practices, as well as who has been invited to the
celebration. In Northern India, much of the cuisine is made up of differently spiced curries with
cream-based sauces, paneer (a type of Indian cheese that holds up to heat) dishes, tandoori
chicken or other meats, lamb curry, and naan slathered with butter. These heavy dishes are not

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only rich and filling, but require costly ingredients and days of preparation. Weddings are seen as
a time to pull out all the stops and really show off for guests, whether that means making a
spectacle of a familys financial success, expertise in the kitchen or a bit of both.
In Southern India, there is a lighter feeling to many celebrations not necessarily in
emotional levity, but certainly in cuisine. Most Hindu weddings that take place in southern India
will be vegetarian due to the plant-based cuisine of the region evolving without much influence
from meat-eating invaders, but without a shortage of interesting, flavorful items. It is a guarantee
that there will be something for everyone at a celebration boasting almost 100 dishes or more.
The style of eating differs in much of southern India, with guests using a banana leaf, or patal,
in lieu of a plate and food is eaten with the hands, rather than utensils. The food culture is
heavily dependent on rice and lentils, providing guests with multiple ways of experiencing the
same ingredients. Lemon rice and yellow daal are two staples of a Southern Indian wedding, in
addition to sabzi, a spiced vegetable stew, and dosa, a fermented rice batter pancake that can be
filled with an array of other ingredients. Other regions in India with strong Hindu populations
will host celebrations similar to, or a mixture of both, these standard Northern and Southern
Indian weddings feasts, with perhaps the addition of fish curries and crab in coastal regions.
Although Hindu weddings, like the one described above, are the most iconic and
recognizable, ceremonies and celebrations can take many forms, with different practices,
traditions and cuisine. It is important to note the history of Indian food and the influences
therein in order to understand why certain regions of the country, as well as different religions,
would have varying cultural practices surrounding food. For example, just as a Christian from
Texas might have a different idea of wedding food and atmosphere from a Mormon from Utah,
the regions of India and, especially the religious practices of each individual couple and their

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families will dictate slightly what exactly each celebration looks (and tastes) like. For as different
as some cultures seem to be, there seems to be a common thread in the desire to celebrate, to the
utmost degree, the joining of two people in marriage.
For Hindus, as discussed, the personal decision to eat meat or not, as well as the personal
decision to drink alcohol or not, rests upon the couple themselves, or sometimes even their
parents. For some couples, their religion directly dictates what is to be served during an event as
sacred as a wedding. For Buddhists and Jains, eating meat is in direct opposition of the practice
of Ahimsa, meaning non-harm. Wedding celebrations that center on either of these religions will
be strictly vegetarian. In terms of alcohol consumption, it is important to many young couples to
have a modern influence in their celebration, but if their parents are more traditional, the decision
of what to serve will sometimes rest on their immediate familys wishes. For many Hindus, a
religion that has no prohibition on alcohol, the equivalent of the American open bar wedding
reception is a couple days of free-flowing champagne. For other religions, such as Jainism and
Sikhism, alcohol is prohibited and therefore not consumed by anyone, guests included, during a
wedding celebration. How traditional a wedding celebration is usually depends on how
traditional the couple decides to make it, while still adhering to the general customs of their
particular culture. Just as no two western weddings serve the same menu, no matter where its
being celebrated, no two Indian weddings will be the same in every respect.
In a stark contrast with each other are the wedding celebrations of a Punjabi family and a
family coming from Himachal Pradesh both northern Indian states that share a border. In the
Punjabi culture, food is the center of the family and, therefore, the center of the society. Author
Vinayana Khurana sums it up nicely when she remembers her Punjabi grandfathers words upon
her visiting: Give the children whatever snacks they want. Only then set the table to the other

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guests. At a young age, children are taught that food can equate with love the people that love
you will feed you (and feed you and feed you) and that delicious meals shared with your family
will create joyful, loving memories. Punjabi weddings, a loud, long celebration of love uniting
two families, are very much food-centric. Khuranas memories of multiple (food) stalls and a
large buffet for meals and an abundance of everything give a vivid impression that Punjabi
families revel in sharing their cuisine and cooking with the many guests and family members in
attendance at a wedding celebration. In contrast to this, a family from Himachal Pradesh will
celebrate a wedding with much more emphasis on rituals, tradition and sacredness. The culture
does not promote food or the act of eating as a gesture of love or affection, more so it is a simple
fact of life. Khurana describes visiting her Himachali relatives as a long series of hugs where
eventually, one is asked if we want a glass of water. This does not imply that there is less love
or less joy in their families, just that there is a different way of showing it. For a wedding
celebration, a family serves a healthy lunch to friends and loved ones who are coming over to
bless the couple. The gathering consists of everyone sitting on the floor, eating a rice and daal
(spiced lentil) dish from a plate made from a large leaf. The event feels more somber, but not
sad; reverent for a brides old life with her family coming to a close and a new chapter opening
in her husbands home. In both of these scenarios, the food that is served is meaningful,
purposeful and created from a place of love. Both cultures share what they have with who is
there and provide nourishment to guests in a way that feels authentically celebratory to their
personal heritage and upbringing.
Because of the rich history of India and the traditions dating back to ancient times, there
is pressure on contemporary couples to impart a modern ambiance while still honoring the
customs of the past. This is especially true when it comes to music, fashion, dancing and alcohol

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consumption, but certainly pertains to food, as well. While main dishes and snacks served in a
buffet style or from small vendor tents were the norm for many years, many modern couples are
opting for a return to a family style service for the meals served at their wedding. Offering
guests a sit down dinner allows for a more emotionally connected event friends and loved ones
are able to have conversations in a quieter environment that promotes enjoyment of the food,
discussions of the event and less feelings of frivolity or excess. There are many western
influences to be found at modern Indian weddings, as well. A few short generations ago, on the
dessert table at any given Indian wedding, one might find a selection of gulab jamun (fried
dough dipped in sugar syrup), carrot halwa (a dessert of shredded carrots and sweetened
condensed milk), assorted kulfis (Indian ice cream) and kheer (rice pudding spiced with
cardamom and cashews.) However, with the influence of western cultures sweet obsessed
events, current Indian weddings will have tables spread wide with brightly colored macarons, an
assortment of differently flavored cupcakes or sugar cookies decorated with paisley or mehndi
designs. Whereas a small cake has been customary for some time, a trend involving the
elaborately decorated multi-tiered cake that are so common in the US is becoming very common
for modern Indian couples. The strange western tradition of smearing cake on each others faces
has even made its way into many Indian cake cutting moments.
Food is the ultimate unifier, whether it be two families at a wedding ceremony or many
cultures all over the globe sharing their ideas for how best to celebrate a couple on their journey
to a new life together. For Indian couples, a wedding signifies the joining together of not only
two people, but two sets of parents, siblings, grandparents and extended family all with their
own lineages version of recipes, serving style, ingredient snobbery and delicious memories.
There are many ways to make a celebration memorable the dcor, the music, the person

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allowed to hold the microphone but one thing that brings all people together, evokes some of
the strongest reactions and solidifies the most intense memories, is the food. What, how and
when you eat something is sure to create a memory that can easily transport you back to the
exact time and exact feeling of that experience. Indias varied and regionally distinctive cuisine
is complex, fragrant and exquisitely unique what better time to showcase it than at the most
joyous occasion in the lives of so many loved ones?

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