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BFHN

"Who knew home shopping could get so weird"

Written by Travis "T.Clips" Lawrence
April Bth'2016

Each of the shours hosts have their own issues that they bring to Marshall. The BFH[{ is a three hour block on laal television that has a Food segment hosted hy a bltchy wanna be talk show host.-+t> Ou *te irJ &1+ .. and a fushion segment hosted by an old southern bell. Jorelry. Clothlng} will put on the tv shor for sales. The way the BFHN works is individuals come in to pitch their items to Marshall and the hosts {foo4 gadgets. leauing Marshall to fix it. (rv c\ ...t *tL) t^Ln +r^.^r" G.BFHN $urnmary The Buy From Home Network is a local Ohio hased horne shopping channel.rurntl rtr 5u^.o^ (vc. /u. ' \onnnt * -/)e 7h<ra. a Tech Segment hosted by a tech genlus and his idiot side kick.{o ll u. fhou {0.-\( ? s truCo^) -fiio^ hvt. Wfu tl""* iy rLt'71r'1 Ar rY you\A W.^ QYc Co. tb* . The prdu(tion tearn is a group of unmotiuated gamers that bitch about everything.C*.. Marshall's assistant Sally is annoying and messes everything up. The boss Marshall is laid back and takes on many quirky vendors that come in to pitch their items they want to sell on the sirow.

lt becomes obvious that he is racist after not wanting to deal with Marshall. Jessica is not happy. Bone Drone: Two local radio cotrtrolled helicopter salesmen go on air to sell there choppers on the tech show. No one can figure out how this happened until find out Halbert has caused this by logging on to sketchy sites with the laptop before the show. What ls She Doing? Boys. The show is interrupted when police men come in to arrest the men who have been using the drones to spy on wornen. He Yllas A Rouge Mineral Nazi: A local mineral miner wants to sell his minerals on tv. A sexy fashionista shows up / *yr 15 for . The show goes black and Stan is confused. After tasting the meatballs everyone is in love with them and ends up eating half the sales.Episode ldeas I Am The Meatball King: A local meatball maker wants his meatballs to go big. While on air the rnineral guy goes "rouge" and begins spewing afiti race propaganda. Julie is the only one he talks to because Marshall is out sick. Halbert ends up havingto go to the hospital after having a heart attack triggered by the glutinous meatball indulgence. And She Thought They Were Vases?: A local stoner comes in to sell vases. Things get hard guys the in the office when this lady puts on quite a show. She Knows Exactly What She's Doingl to showcase some of her revealing night ware. Julie is naive to the fact that this guy is an obvious stoner and is selling bongs as vases. The crew finds this hilarious but Marshall has to deal with the uoice for this one. Faptops: While showing off laptops porn pop-ups flood the screen. Marshall allows the man on air bc he is pals with the voice.

rc^.illson . . President of company .i \ rr. ldiot *' -tl* tt<'?u 0j l^P^* rttlattoA .nanGe ! i*.-'[f ff t uu-yr fio ""._5 Bcc( . 27 year old . . ?{zre*aovy A{a. Nerdy .f Si-f 'rs**1 t- Cutsconrcrs The Voice .r^"'a<4{ tal^. Always bitches but Marshall never pays attention Stan }lichkey . Other half of "Tech Team" . . Never is seen ' Only Marshall can understand him (to everyone else he sounds like Charlie Brown teacher! .!^-o*.{tz . P€fd. 25 year old Stuclt up Bitchy FoodShowhost Julie Goodwater r ff! year old tl nttr. t | . Loud mouth babbler $* . Jessica Stewart . 35 yearold l\\ut. Tech Genius Halbert *Hal' lf.. One half of the "Tech Team" .BFHI{ A Television $how Cfeeted hy Travis Lawrenqe Charactgpq: ilarshall Wlnston+< .<**l Head of dtudib lpid bacft Often walqhHq fqod gftor{r to €at 6ets evenjthing from show for free Axer-icFN (UXwes {a* 5oy*g Aa.

Quiet r 28 year old 5f o*vl.ying {o* 6ott : v\ ' Messes everything uP Paul Calliano . Basically doeswhat he istold 1-- 4wElu . . Videoguy r 5O year old . Bitter knor it all Lewis Reynolds . Neur ffoor director 6ut Nrr^l . Anti system Sally o8al" Haxrvell . r Vixen Fashion and Jewelry host Southernaccent Nelson Heller . Marshalfs assistant ' 22 yearold o Anno..*--' 20 year old . Audioguy . ProductionSuperuisor .

should I ask Hal to do the show. Inwalks Je.... Marshall takes offhis hat and kills the fly.. 15 . |essica: It's disgusting and perverted.\Lh.i oin^ if Hal wants to do the food show today.r- Lf BFHN n(plt. Marshall: I donno Sal what do you think? (Sarcastic) rtrfirU1A[L thinks she's above meat Monday.lwf C.it'Lunn w) )6Lu.... -.Meat Monday is what we've come too? Marshall: Ratings are low. Marshall: Sal see *5o. Marshall: cool In walks Sal. |essica: You guys are idiots apening Credits Camera opens on Marshall going fo his ffice followed by lessica enraged that she has to showcase mini sausages. then ratses his hqt in a heraic manner.. stakes and gourmetbacon onher upcoming show.. |essica: Meat Monday. HaI pauses during the excitement gaes to "attention"for Marshall and then renders a salute.. lessica storms out of Marshall's office SaL So.people like meat.ssica. I'm not doing the show. Jessica I'11 do meat Monday. this is my air time. You're the only one who seems to not like meat. Marshall salutes back. She begins to talk but is quickly cut off.. g1 . Camera follows Marshall to see Halbert and Stan trying to kiII afly. Sal: So the meat gpy called he will be here.f Pilot "Meat Monday" Camera in car with Marshall listing to a song as he is pulling into work. Marshall's assisrant. |essica: Sal don't you dare.

. god she is annoying.Sal: ['ll go as. Also I think your boss called... [sn't she just a doll.oAtf t\'\eil-k-. He failed out of college and became the boss at a local shopping channel. he's a tech genius.you should call him back.I iust need to know what time.ut fe sAr- Marshall (cutting SaI offbefore she speaks): I'll take the new guy.I couldn't understand him. Sal: Heywelcome to. I don't see how Marshall does it... Net>ox.. fessica: The production guys suck. Sal follows and begins to blabber fo Nelson about a new guy. Marshall: I see you met the hospitality manager Jessica. Marshall: No Sal. The production crew laughs Inwalks Stan Stan: Hey Marshall some kid is here to see you. Marshall: cool thanks. Marshall and Salwalk into the hosts ffices where we see Jessica talking to the new guy. Sal: Ok. Here's Stan... I hope you can help them out they could use it... probably our most popular host and iust an all around good dude.. there's a new floor director coming in today? * Nelson:Cool... Now tomorrow you have 3 new venders coming to showcase. rs 6i.. What's up I'm Marshall and this is Sal. .. Sal: Hey Nelson. This is Halbert he's the other host. we got a big show and I want production to be on their games. Those two studs over there are The Tech Team.well the meat guy said he's gonna be in an hour early.whyareyoutalking.. you won't ass.. Says he's the new floor director. Marshall: Sal is my assistant. This is the host quarters. Halbert: Marshall is a bastard.. He walks inta producfion room where the guys are talking about video games and watching w..... Marshallwalks outwhile Sal is still speaking. rvlor-fr. You met Jessica host of the food segment. Blah blah blah blah.. And Sal. Jessica is doing the show.

Marshall: Sal will be with him. New Guy: Noooo. hope h":T". . I donno this old man is kind of strange...Llt. don't mess it up. Marshall: What's that make you. t*rvs N*^s ir \)e"rl6rl ssi> him and go get set up. Lew: HeardJessica was pissed about meat Mondays.o. (obviously uncomfortable) Marshall: Alright.-. let's go meet the production guys.only time will tell. Marshall: Hey Lew new guy. New Guy: haha ok New guy and Marshallwalk into the studfo to see Jessica talking with Nelson and a shortfat white man (meat guy) Marshall: Hey Nelson this is the new guy he's gonna be floor directing today. Marshall and new guy cantinue baek to praduction. Nelson:'We're doomed.. take r. my names actually. He begins setting up the boards. she dose the fashion segrnent. Lew: howdy new guy.#t*l . How ya doing doll baby? Aren't you just the most hansom little thing. Nelson: Cool.. I bet she'd me p_rqsqdgf if she knew I suggested it hahahah W Marshall: Right dude.. What's that French? New Guy: haha no. I'm praying to the spaghetti prince for this to go wrong hahahah.. and you will be paid. that's Julie over there. Marshall: Sal.. just rememberyou signed up. In walks Lewis. Ne. Lew: Oh man. Things could get weird./nP. ---t---2 {'-' u"{t Hal? Anyway. Marshall: Only time will tell. If I wasn't |ulie: such a lady I would make a bet that all the little girls are chasing you around. Marshall goes into his ffice asNelson and Lewis take their places at their boards... New guy Lew. the audio guy..r*".

stand by. Ol'fim: That's right Jessie. The smoked meats arnt easy to do are theyJim.. .... I hopeyou brought your appetite this Monday evening.4.... It's meat Monday and I'm not here to disappoint. these plump iuicy saumges are sure to please. and grade A stakes. this guys getting more horney by the second. He's gonna start humping her leg any minute. bacon..ain't that right sweaty? |essica: That's rightJim and we are selling these products for the low low price of 53. Today we are featuring Ol'Jim's smoked sausage. thickest cuts of meat. How are you doingJim. Ol'|im: Well hello there Jessica and don't you look like something from a magazine. Marshall: How long until break.. Camera cuts to Sal signaling 5 minutes to Jessicawho is trying ta hold on.ardly on a stske while staring at Jessica. Ol'Jim is now holding q snusage in hrs hand and pounding awla. Sal: 5..^y.39 or 15 quick pays of 3 dollars and 55 cents' 'f.. Camerq. fessica: As Jim said this bacon has a nice smokey flavor. Nelson (laughing\: +.. and the most sayory smoked sausage you'll ever put in your mouth.Camera comes out to Sal and new guy getting ready ta kick the show off.where do these stakes come florn? Cqmera cuts ta Marshallwha storms ouf af his offiee into the production roamwhere Ne/son and Lew arelaughing. |essica (getting uncomfortable): Jim. We gotta get slim jim out of there.. .'c. cuts back to maxwho counts downfrom 5.-.* Manshall (to Sal through head set): We got 5 minutes and we go to break..*) 4r +\1*. And these stakes are as thick as. I have the best crispy bacon.... She ques Show cam fessica: Hello out there everybody.3.^.rro^ 'j?. Camera cuts to show cam and sees the guy looking at jessicawith a glow.

. Jim snatches his check then walks out. You know what Jessica I could get rid of that old... In walks Hal for the food. Marshall will have your money in a sec.... what the hell is wrong with you... Carnera cufs to Marshall in the production raom... Show ccm shows the graup eqting the meat.. Fade Out .everyone else trickles in to eat. You'll get your bonus once and if it all sells...and out comes my bitch of a wife to tell rne dinner is ready. Jessica...snaking stakes.. I deal with meat all day eYery d"y... Sal: Break......gimme my meat money and I'll be on my way.. MarshalL Got it ]im here's your check...flingrng bacon what's wrong with you.. Stroking |im: I'm sorry Marshall but look at her she's gorgeous. Starfs eating.you old pervert..one time I was out baek in the smoker.smoking more than meat if you know what I mean.. |essica: Jim you got to go. I can't help my self.. Marshall rushes in as Jessica is a about to dismantle Jim and Jim likes it.... fim: Whatever.fim: Hell no it ain't. You come on here all hot and bothered by sausages.. Marshall: What the heck Jim...thanks Jirn were getting a lot of calls for the meat your good to go.... Marshall: Go black! Camera cutsback ta SaI.