A Freshman’s Guide to 2010 Welcome Week

Welcome to college. You’re probably excited for, what some call, the best four
years of your life. You’ve been sitting through seemingly endless sessions at your New
Student Orientation, taking small group discussion breaks every so often and talking to
your orientation leader who is probably really cool. But what you really can’t wait for is
for your college experience to finally begin! Welcome Week—a week of meeting new
people, Freshman Service Experience, partying, Discovering DC, hookups, and general
debauchery is in your near future. You imagine it now: you wave goodbye to your
parents as they drive away after moving you in, ready for all the freedom that awaits
you. When you do wave goodbye to your parents, it may take a few minutes, days, or
even weeks to finally realize what that freedom means—most notably, no curfew.

At one point in time or another during Welcome Week, you will probably find
yourself at a party. You may make it a point to go to a party and get black-out drunk
every single night, seeking to score by demonstrating your beer pong skills or by smiling,
flirting, and maybe some dancing. You probably will find yourself a little feeling a bit
tipsy, buzzed, or full-out drunk at one point or another. You realize that your inhibitions
ran off with your sobriety, somewhere while you’re in hot and crowded basement with a
stereo’s bass thudding some rap song. Somehow, you find yourself kissing someone just
because he or she started dancing with you. Your counterpart in this casual hookup may
try to take this situation a little bit further, perhaps a strategically placed hand hinting at
what may be in store for the rest of the night.

Maybe this is the type of situation my parents warned me about, you think, or
maybe I’m just having some unfettered fun. You may start wondering if you do or do not
want what this casual hookup seems to be implying. You know you want to have fun, but
you don’t want to do anything you’ll regret later. Given that this is AU, you’ll probably
overhear a few people arguing about the healthcare bill or trade relations with China,
and you’ll remember why you came to this school in the first place. But amidst this,
you’re feeling pressured and confused and you don’t know what to do but you continue
hooking up anyway. You may or may not have sex; you may wake up the next morning
hung-over wondering if you really wanted what happened last night, whatever it was.

You start thinking, there is no way I just became a statistic. It couldn’t have been
rape. I’m smarter than that. You start blaming yourself. The worst part is you start to
feel alone even though you know rape is not your fault—at least according to your
parents, friends, and those stickers on the back of the bathroom stall doors that give you
a list of impersonal numbers to call, that you can’t possibly imagine spilling your story of
perceived stupidity. You’ve been told the victim, yourself in this case, is never at fault,
yet we live in a society that perpetrates blaming the victim. It’s how we psychologically
justify why bad things happen to good people. It’s why our mothers tell us to walk in
groups and not to go anywhere alone, to not wear very revealing clothing, to be
constantly vigilant of our surroundings, to not trust anyone, to not drink too much, to
walk in well-lit areas, etc… Now that you woke up feeling violated the next morning, it
seems like your mother had a point. You’ve heard self-righteous females say, “well if
she’s dressed like a slut, dumb enough to get drunk, she deserves what’s coming her
way.” You might have been one of them, and now you’re thinking how wrong that is.
And for these reasons, and also because you can’t even remember if you said no or not,
your confusion silences you and your silence confuses you.

***

What you, and every new student at American University, need to know is that
AU has not silent been about rape (and you shouldn’t be either). As one of the most
politically active campuses in the nation, this discussion has been alive and well this past
year—in part due to a certain Eagle Columnist, Alex Knepper. On March 28 th, 2010, he
wrote that,
Let’s get this straight: any woman who heads to an EI party as an anonymous onlooker, drinks
five cups of the jungle juice, and walks back to a boy’s room with him is indicating that she wants
sex, OK? To cry “date rape” after you sober up the next morning and regret the incident is the
equivalent of pulling a gun to someone’s head and then later claiming that you didn’t ever actually
intend to pull the trigger. “Date rape” is an incoherent concept. There’s rape and there’s not-rape,
and we need a line of demarcation. It’s not clear enough to merely speak of consent, because the
lines of consent in sex — especially anonymous sex — can become very blurry. i

Cue the uproar. Within minutes of this column’s online publication, my Facebook
feed was littered with comments decrying this article and the link to it. As reported by
Jenna Johnson of The Washington Post, “early Monday morning an unknown person or
persons collected hundreds of copies of the paper from around campus and piled them
in front of the student newspaper office, under a sign reading: "No room for rape
apologists."ii Petitions circulated around the school, demanding resignation of Knepper
from the Eagle, a condemnation of the column from the administration, and
investigation violations of the student conduct code related to the column, among other
things. Various media outlets picked up the story over the course of the week, ranging
from underground gender blogs to the Washington City Paper. That Friday, Alex
Knepper and student activist Carmen Rios were featured on CBS News Early Show. iii
Leah Finnegan, of the online periodical The Huffington Post, featured the CBS News
segment alongside her report tracking the developments. iv Scott Bass, Provost of AU,
and Gail Short Hanson, our Vice President of Campus life, issued a statement published
in the March 31st issue of The Eagle, affirming that, “AU is committed to a safe
environment for all and does not tolerate rape in any form or under any
circumstances.”v
 I set my alarm at 5:30 a.m. that Friday to make sure I called Carmen early
enough just in case her alarm didn’t go off (I called her at 6:23 a.m. when she was
already on her way to Dupont Circle… oops). While on the phone the night before the
interview, I asked her, “Carmen, so my mother has always been telling me to always be
very, very careful and I’d retort that the world isn’t safe and that I’m not going to not
leave my apartment because I’m scared. But, what else do we do? I can’t think of
anything else that would safeguard against being raped.” Carmen responded that we
need to reframe the discussion—that it’s not about how women can avoid rape, but
rather about encouraging verbal consent.

I realized even with these safeguards impressed upon us, when our parents have
constantly warned us to keep an eye on what you drink, how much you drink, who
you’re with and whether you know them or not, we can never protect ourselves fully
against rape. Nothing is foolproof—take the case of Jeanne Clery. Her mother, Connie
Clery, told NPR that what had happened to her daughter, “was so amazingly unreal […]
She was in the right place where she should have been—in her own bed in the dorm at 6
o’clock in the morning, fast asleep. There were three automatically locking doors that
should have been locked, which she thought were locked and she didn’t have an enemy
in the world.”vi A student that she didn’t know, raped, tortured, and strangled her.

***

It’s true; the world isn’t a safe place. However, this need not mean we need to live
in fear. We can only prevent rape when we truly stop blaming the victim. Blaming the
victim absolves the perpetrator, the rapist, of responsibility. Why are we so ready to
classify men as hormonal, unthinking creatures and ascribe animalistic characteristics
to them in an attempt to explain rape? My mother always told me to be cognizant of
what I’m drinking, how much, where, and who I’m with. Society has impressed upon
college-aged women that our sexual assailants will be a sketchy guy waiting for us on
Ward Circle on our way back to our apartments from the library at 2 a.m. or the sketchy
guy in Tenleytown waiting around the metro station asking for change that we hurriedly
pass by as we come back from a club on a Saturday night.

The 2000 National Institute of Justice Report titled “Sexual Victimization of

College Women” asserts that, “about 9 in 10 offenders were known to the victim. Most
often, a boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, classmate, friend, acquaintance, or coworker sexually
victimized the women.”vii Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network’s website (RAINN),
tells us that, “according to the 2008 National Crime Victimization Survey, as reported
by the Bureau of Justice Statistics, more than 75% of the women who reported a rape
were under 25 years old at the time of their assault; more than 25% of the victims of
reported rapes are between 18 and 24 years old.”viii
 The better educated we are, the more prepared we are to combat rape.
Familiarize yourself with the following definitions—they’re taken from AU’s Policy
Revisions to the Student Conduct Code (which can be found here:
http://www.american.edu/ocl/upload/Conduct-Code-Policy-Revisions-Announcement-
4-10.pdf):
Attempted Misconduct is also prohibited under the Code. The Student Conduct Code defines
several forms of sexual misconduct:

Rape: any act of sexual intercourse or sexual penetration of any orifice of the body with a body
part of other object that takes place against a person’s will or without consent or that is
accompanied by coercion or threat of bodily harm.

Sexual assault: conduct of a sexual nature, including but not limited to, sexual contact or physical
exposure directed at another person without consent.

Sexual harassment: unwanted sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or
physical conduct of a sexual nature when: submission to such conduct is made explicitly or
implicitly a term or condition of a person’s employment or academic advancement; submission or
rejection of such conduct by a person is used as the basis for employment decisions or academic
decisions affecting such a person; or such conduct has the purpose or effect or unreasonably
interfering with a person’s work or academic performance or creating an intimidating, hostile or
offensive working, or academic environment.”

It’s hard to identify something as rape, sexual assault, or harassment if you don’t
know exactly what they are. We can’t stop unfortunate freak-rapes like what happened
to Jeanne Clery, but we will do what we can—which is being aware. Men and women
alike should know what constitutes consent and what does not. Taken from
the student conduct code, the following should answer the question, what is consent?
(Emphasis added by author)

Consent is informed and clear. Parties must be able to communicate effectively and agree on
the type of sexual activities that will be shared. If a person has a sexually transmittable disease,
that should be disclosed to a partner before engaging in sexual activity.
Consent is essential each time sexual activity occurs and/or escalates. During or prior to any
sexual activity, each partner has the right to withdraw consent at any time. Consent to one type of
sexual activity does not imply consent to other forms of sexual activities.
Consent is a free choice only if it has been granted without the use of force - real or perceived,
threats, intimidation, or coercion.
Consent cannot be construed from a partner’s silence.
Consent cannot be assumed based on a previous or current sexual relationship with the person
who initiates the sexual activity.
Consent is not implicit in a person’s manner of dress or physical appearance.
Consent is not implicit in acceptance of an invitation for a meal or date.
Consent is not achievable if a partner is or appears to be under the influence of a controlled or
intoxicating substance, whether or not that substance was consumed willingly.
 In the unfortunate event that you are violated, AU has a number of resources to
help you out. Look at the stickers on the back of every stall door as well as your dorm
door. See a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) at the Washington Hospital Center,
don’t bathe and bring clothes that were worn at the time in a brown paper bag. Call the
counseling center at (202)-885-3500; they have a Sexual Assault Survivor Support
group you can join. Call the Dean of Students’ office at (202)-885-3300 if you need to
relocate your housing or switch classes. See page 11 of updated student conduct code for
your rights as a sexual assault victim, which include, but are not limited to, housing
relocation, barring of personal contact, or change of class schedule. Remember, by no
means is this article a comprehensive list; visit www.american.edu/sexualassault for
more resources. Unfortunately, most rape victims that have courageously come forward
are unsatisfied with the lack of action taken against the perpetrator—just another reason
why we should all work hard to prevent rape.

On a closing note, I call on all of you reading this to make this campus safer,
consensual, and rape-free. Men, you can help stop rape. Make sure you always obtain
consent, be it verbal or non-verbal. You have the power to influence other men too. If
you see someone harassing a friend of yours, speak up. If you’re not sure what’s going on
but you get a weird feeling about a situation, err on the side of caution and intervene—
especially if a female friend seems uncomfortable. Defend your female friends as you
would look out for your sister. And you will have done your part to help. Women, be
clear about what you do and do not want. Decide what that is before you start drinking.
Stay true to yourself. Lend your ear or your shoulder to someone in need. Together we
can all work to prevent rape and the damage that follows.

Class of 2014, welcome to American University. We’re glad to have you here.
 Bibliography
Bonnie S. Fisher, Francis T. Cullen, Michael G. Turner. "The Sexual Victimization of
College Women." Washington, D.C.: The United States Department of Justice,
2000.
Finnegan, Leah. "Watch: American U Columnist Defends Rape Piece on the Early
Show." Huffington Post (2010),
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/31/american-rape-
column_n_520630.html.
Johnson, Jenna. "Au Date Rape Column Angers Students." The Washington Post
(2010), http://voices.washingtonpost.com/campus-
overload/2010/03/column_questions_date_rape_ang.html.
Knepper, Alex. "Dealing with Au's Anti-Sex Brigade." The Eagle (2010),
http://www.theeagleonline.com/opinion/story/dealing-with-aus-anti-sex-
brigade/.
RAINN: Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network. "Campus Safety."
http://www.rainn.org/public-policy/campus-safety.
"Rape Article Meant to Foster Dialogue." http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?
id=6356671n.
Scott Bass, Gail Short Hanson. "Letter from the Vice President of Campus Life and
Provost." The Eagle (2010),
http://www.theeagleonline.com/opinion/story/letter-from-the-vice-president-
of-campus-life-and-the-provost/.
Shapiro, Joseph. "Campus Rape Victims: A Struggle for Justice." National Public Radio
(2010), http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?
storyId=124001493&ps=rs.
Endnotes:
i
Alex Knepper, "Dealing with Au's Anti-Sex Brigade," The Eagle(2010),
http://www.theeagleonline.com/opinion/story/dealing-with-aus-anti-sex-brigade/.
ii
Jenna Johnson, "Au Date Rape Column Angers Students," The Washington Post(2010),
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/campus-overload/2010/03/column_questions_date_rape_ang.html.
iii
"Rape Article Meant to Foster Dialogue," http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6356671n.
iv
Leah Finnegan, "Watch: American U Columnist Defends Rape Piece on the Early Show," Huffington
Post(2010), http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/31/american-rape-column_n_520630.html.
v
Gail Short Hanson Scott Bass, "Letter from the Vice President of Campus Life and Provost," The Eagle(2010),
http://www.theeagleonline.com/opinion/story/letter-from-the-vice-president-of-campus-life-and-the-provost/.
vi
Joseph Shapiro, "Campus Rape Victims: A Struggle for Justice," National Public Radio(2010),
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124001493&ps=rs.
vii
Francis T. Cullen Bonnie S. Fisher, Michael G. Turner, "The Sexual Victimization of College Women,"
(Washington, D.C.: The United States Department of Justice, 2000), 17.
viii
Abuse RAINN: Rape, and Incest National Network, "Campus Safety," http://www.rainn.org/public-
policy/campus-safety.