One of the most interesting phenomena in human nature is peer pressure.

It is responsible for more

guilt and feelings of failure in young and old alike that we as Christians need to take a very close look at
what causes it and how we can overcome it. Peer Pressure is when an individual feels compelled to
behave in certain ways due to the implied or perceived will of a group of peers. This pressure to perform
is most often seen in little ways in young people: making silly comments to parents in the presence of
friends, making hurtful comments to others to get a laugh from those around us. Although these
situations are usually thought to be attempts to gain attention to ourselves, it is the beginning of an
individuals desire to please the group. If we are not interested in pleasing the group, there is no
pressure to behave in any certain way. In these early situations, the group of peers is not trying to cause
the persons behavior, they just react to it by laughing or in some way acknowledging the act in such a
way as to reinforce it. Heres an example of this situation in action. A few years back, I had a student in
my freshman health class. He was really shy and I had a hard time getting him to participate in class
discussions. Being an intelligent and witty young man, he had lots to say about things, but he just
couldnt bring himself to speak out. Finally one day, he mutters something that caused everyone to
laugh and that was officially the end of his shyness. Over time, he began to pipe in to class conversations
and make humorous remarks when he had the chance. By the time he was a senior in high school, he
was doing skits and videos for the whole student body. He liked the reaction he got from the group. You
see, our behavior is indeed tied directly to the group of people around us. Whenever we are in a group,
be they long-time friends or not, we feel compelled to "fit in without standing out". I call this the sheep
syndrome. Everyone mulls around following someone else until a leader emerges. For the most part,
wherever the leader goes, so goes the flock. I do an interesting activity in my health class. I put up the
numbers 1-10 on the wall and ask the kids to go to the number that best represents their own feelings in
a drug or alcohol-related situation. When I read the situation to them, they all look around to see where
the majority of people are going. They follow every time. In this case, there are usually two distinct
groups, those who are alcohol users, and those that are not. In either case, the students will follow the
group that they feel they belong to. Baaaaah, Baaaaaah. But dont think that adults have somehow
outgrown peer pressure. Mom and dad have just as much trouble as anyone. People at work have a
tendency to talk like others they work with, tell the same kinds of jokes and laugh at the same stories as
those they work with. They listen to and spread the same gossip and generally dont stand out from the
crowd. Baaaah. Looks very much like the young people. In fact, most of the men I talk to who struggle
daily with their Christian walk, express concerns about their behavior at work as being the one of their
biggest stumbling blocks. Just as kids struggle most at school, adults will struggle with the group they are
around the most. Most people who are successful in their work or school at not giving in to peer
pressure are often forced to do one of three things: give in to the peer pressure (oops, that wont work),
isolate themselves from that pressure, or become a social force in and of themselves. One of the most
important benefits of high school Bible clubs and Youth Groups is the group atmosphere and positive
peer pressure that is generated. Groups like this are essential to Christian students being successful in
school. They must have a group that they are more concerned about fitting in with, than other groups
that may be less desirable. The other side of this coin is to isolate yourself. I see a number of teachers
who eat lunch in their own rooms, kids who sit quietly in the hall to eat their lunch and small groups
begin forming here and there in an effort to protect each other. The problem is, that when it comes
right down to it, there is no good way to deal with the issues of peer pressure without dealing with its
central subject: who are we trying to please? Whenever our behaviors are intended to please other
people, they will. Whenever they are intended to please ourselves, they will. Whenever they are

intended to please God, they will. Just not all at the same time. It really is simple; if I please me, others
are upset. If I please others, God is upset. Pleasing God means denying all the others. Easier said than
done. My heart is willing, but my body is weak. Man shall not live by bread alone, but if the guy next to
me brought bread for lunch..., Ill probably eat some. The best advice I can give: arm yourself with the
Word of God. Memorize scripture to help you in the tough spots. Out of the overflow of your heart, your
mouth will speak. What will you say? As a former athlete and coach, I am distinctly familiar with the idea
of performing for a crowd. The larger the crowd, the better the game. My coach used to say: "The whole
town is watching, dont let them down." My mom would say, Ill be watching dont let me down." I say,
God is watching, dont let Him down. We will be more successful in life if we train ourselves to perform
for an audience of one. The Holy One. Peer pressure becomes a moot point when our eyes are on the
throne. Have you ever accidentally cursed while singing your favorite hymn or worship song? Didnt
think so. Its the same with trying to please your peers when your focus is on God. The next time you
feel yourself sliding down the wrong path, remember to look to Jesus. His words will protect you and
strengthen you and give you a purpose that goes beyond your understanding. Raising the Expectations:
As a teacher and coach for nearly a decade, I have found one thing to be true: for the most part, people
will behave/perform at whatever level is expected of them. Weve heard that for years, and frankly is
nothing new. The piece that is often overlooked, is that the groups setting the level of expectation are
not the coaches, teachers or even parents. Most students in public schools spend upwards of 5 to 7
hours a day with their friends. I dare say that most parents cant make that claim. Where do friends get
their ideas of proper behavior? Hollywood, social media, other friends. Together they determine what is
acceptable behavior in our society. One of the things that has the biggest impact on students attitudes
are the movies and TV programs they watch. I cant tell you how often the lines from the new, big hit
movies get repeated in my classroom. Time after time, the favorite movies are the most violent, sexual
and profane. When we watch them, what are we putting into our brain? Garbage in, garbage out. We
cant help but to be affected by what we see. Are we (am I) willing to raise the standard on what we
watch? How about friends? Are they living a life of high moral standard? Are they pulling us up to a
higher place? Or are we telling ourselves that we are helping them? Do you pray with your friends? Do
you pray for them? They for you? Let me put it to you this way: you must have people in your life that
you can trust, who will tell you when your wrong and who you will listen to in time of need. I can count
on one hand the number of people who really know me well enough to hold me accountable and give
me the support I need. How many do you have? Are you willing to be accountable to someone? Do you
have any older people in your life to give you advice and guidance when you need it? I have a saying on
my wall in my classroom: "A boy needs two things in life, a father to teach him all of the things he needs
to know in life, and a mentor to teach him all of the things a father cannot because of his closeness to
him." Are there any adults whom you know well enough to confide in, pray with, and tell all your secrets
to? This is where teachers, coaches, pastors and youth pastors, Sunday school teachers and the parents
of friends come into play. Whatever you do, and whoever you hang out with, remember to raise your
own expectations of yourself and those around you will follow.
Dave C Parsons