Documentos de Académico
Documentos de Profesional
Documentos de Cultura
1 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
Log In
Home
Articles
Forum
Directories
Sign Up
Reset Password
Events
Physics Tuition
Phang Yu Hon SundayTimes SuperTutor
NUS EE 1st Class Hons. / Rafflesian
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
2 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
This short, report writing-like style which provides an account of the incident is not a
sign of disjointed narrative. It is a probable sign of bigger problems with likely reasons
listed below in increasing severity:
The student is not exposed to narrative writing structure
The student is lazy for elaboration requires too much work
The student has weak English foundation which hinders his/her ability to
express and elaborate
The student lacks imagination
Students who are not exposed to narrative writing structure are usually lower Primary
students who just need more time to get used to narrative essays. Their problem is not
severe.
In mild cases, students with weak English foundation do not possess extensive vocab to
elaborate in detail. For instance, my student wanted to write:
She was afraid that she would plunge to her death
but was unable to do so as her vocab was limited. She certainly had enough sense to
refrain from writing
drop and die
and without other alternatives, she refrained from writing that sentence altogether.
Severe cases will see students experiencing difficulties in structuring sentences due to
grammar and language deficiencies.
In addition to point (3), my current student is firmly embedded in point (4). She claims
that she is unable to imagine a situation without experiencing them in reality
beforehand. Without plot inspiration, no amount of aid in the mechanics of writing is
able to salvage her writing.
It should be obvious that there are multiple problems compounded into and there is no
one-size-fits-all solution. Some are weak in vocab, some are unable to form sentences,
some have no inspiration, some have all the problems mentioned earlier. Let me phrase
it another way.
Recall that I included a highly simplified essay lesson plan that spanned over 5 lessons.
If the problem of disjointed narrative surfaces in the 2nd lesson when the student
attempts to length his/her essay, this problem rears its ugly head in the 1st. It is a
foundational problem with multiple root causes that vary among students.
For my students, including my existing one, I stress on developing actions or motions
for characters in essays. Character motions are the most basic elements in an essay for
value-added components like vocabulary and complex sentence structures are built upon
it.
Example. Original sentence
One day after school, Anne was walking back home from school when she saw a
cat stuck in the tree.
Simple motion added
School had ended for the day. Anne waved goodbye to her friends and walked
back home from school.
More motion added
School had ended for the day. Anne waved goodbye to her friends. She picked
up her schoolbag, exited via the back gate and began to walk back home.
I dont demand for anything more. No vocab, complex sentence structures nor other
requirements. Only when students achieve this basic objective of elaboration of
actions/motions are they allowed to moved on to higher level stuff.
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
3 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
4 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
clenched fist
forehead creased
fury in her eyes
turning red with fury
Cat 4: Situational reactions. Examples:
she broke down and cried
he snapped and hit his friend
she screamed her head off
he stormed off and slammed the door behind him
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
5 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
Her eyes were puffy and red after all the crying.
She cried her heart out after hearing the tragic news.
The frightened child was on the brink of tears.
There's an overwhelming number of phrases devoted to crying (which is pretty useless you don't need to know 6 different ways to cry in an essay). There is very little
description on other forms of sorrow. Always using O levels essay standards as a
benchmark, I struck the list off immediately.
Cat 2 types are not common. Period. It is difficult to find them in vast amounts in most
storybooks or assessment books. But cat 2 types are the emotive vocab types to look
out for. They are universal across all essay settings as those reactions occur internally.
For instance, panic alarm (Warning bells started clashing in my head) is a
classic example that can be used in ANY essay so long as panic is required. And given
that essays thrive on conflict and resolution, with characters getting into heart stopping
moments rapidly, I say that cat 2 types are godsend at least it was for me when O
levels Paper 1 loomed near.
Can you imagine how utterly useful and time-saving it is going to be if you have say, a
panic template which spans over 85 words of cat 2 and 3 vocab that can be utilised in
any essay that requires the character to panic?
(Of course, a Primary school student does not need to have that much emotive vocab
attrition, which makes lives a lot easier)
Parents have been asking how to get cat 2 vocab in bulk. As emphasized earlier, the
unfortunate thing is that a purely cat 2 vocab paperback isnt going to surface.
Storybooks will definitely offer expressions and students/parents will have to make a
conscious effort in penning them down in order to collect cat 2 vocab in bulk.
(I collect cat 2 and 3 vocab through my online reading material (fanfiction.net) which is
not an advisable online community for young minds to lurk for ff.net has a minefield of
rated material.)
If you cant locate any cat 2 vocab however, dont panic. Cat 3 vocab should be more
than enough for Primary school students.
Side enquiry to parents: I am curious to know the rough breakdown of cat 1 to 4 vocab
provided in vocab lists that are offered by vocab books that you have bought for your
child. What Ive seen are a flood of cat 1 and 4, some cat 3 and very little cat 2.
Question of reading and its materials
Fact: Reading aids students in improving their essay writing
Myth: Students who dont read will fail to see improvements in essay writing
Myth: Students who read will see improvements in essay writing
Raise your hand if you have a child who is an avid reader yet fails to write decent
essays, and you are scratching your head wondering why.
I will raise mine. I dont have a child but I was certainly one of those who read a lot but
was lacking in the essay writing department. Problem is, only the content is being
eagerly sought after. I overlooked language - skipping tedious passages and difficult
words/grammar structure- in favour of the story plot.
Students find language structure to be boring and as such, not too concerned about
improving their language through reading of books.
Mindless attrition of reading material without knowledge of how to utilise them is simply
not productive and yields little result. As I aged, I maintained a conscious effort on my
part to keep a look out for of good emotive vocab and essay structure.
Students, on the other hand, may not be aware of what to take note in storybooks. They
should identify their weak point(s) in essay writing dialogues, character descriptions,
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
6 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
7 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
8 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
Write about some of your worries and hopes for the future? (O level 2009 Q5)
What do you think secondary schools can do to ensure the health,well-being and safety of the
students? (O level 2006 Q3)
Questions of similar nature surface in A levels. 12 essay questions of which wide range
topics spanning over Religion, Science, Politics, Arts etc, many students who do not
increase their knowledge in those areas panic and usually choose the only question
enquiring about your opinion on a certain situation in Singapore. Such questions range
from the education system to social policies in Singapore.
Students who choose such questions are usually (not always, but usually) the first to go.
My JC teacher once remarked that the utterly sad thing about students is that while
residing in Singapore, they seem to be clueless about what is really going on in the
country. Be it their Secondary school, political system, (let me emphasize that Singapore
is in no way a democracy. We are a republic and so is America. Big difference but little
distinction has been made), etc.
As students have little content in their heads, they draw content from their immediate
reality and do not reflect critically on it. Unfortunately our immediate reality is swamped
with government rhetoric and the students proceed to parrot about the dominant
narrative in their essays.
When asked to reflect critically about the education system in Singapore, my ex-JC
student gave me a disjointed account of the streaming system in Primary schools. I felt
like I was reading a brochure from MOE. Essays praise the cleanliness of Singapore
when it is the cleaning contractors, not the civic behaviour of Singaporeans, that we are
supposed to give thanks to.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have students airing trivial grievances.
Thing is that, problems we have in Singapore are prevalent in other countries and a lot
less severe. Framing grievances in an uncritical way portray students as spoilt brats.
Airing about the stressful and rigid education system in Singapore does not give the
students brownie points, especially when other countries in the region like China have it
worse. And there is a reason why despite the touting of Western educational methods,
the educational system in America is on very shaky ground. The infamous rigid selection
criteria of basing only on grades for civil servant jobs is practiced not only in
Singapore, but in any country whose government operates as a bureaucracy (isnt that
almost every country?).
I have heard the counter argument that since grading of papers is located in Europe,
students should write about topics concerning Singapore as the European markers may
not be familiar with the situation in Singapore.
I shall commence laughter here.
(Weak thought structure is an even greater problem, but the scope of this essay does
not allow me for further elaboration)
Shallow arguments show little maturity in thinking and it reflects very badly on the
students. In fact, in my JC days, the Cambridge report explicitly stated that the students
exhibited schizophrenic tendencies in their essays.
(Schizophrenic: a severe mental disorder characterized by some, but not necessarily all,
of the following features: emotional blunting, intellectual deterioration, social isolation,
disorganized speech and behavior, delusions, and hallucinations)
Tips for expository / argumentative writing
Fiction writing requires plot and a decent level of vocab. Some students may find
expository a lot easier. At the very least, they are able to write something.
I cant deny that logic. Rather write something than nothing at all.
However as mentioned earlier, I have never done a single O level expository. After living
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
9 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
through A levels and University, it is inevitable that I view the standards for O level
expository as seriously insufficient. But I am refraining myself from unleashing a
tsunami of dos and donts for General Paper essays due to irrelevance. In addition,
unlike A level essays, I dont have any O level expository essays that I can cite
examples from. The list of tips I am offering is very, very short for my tips are catered
towards A levels (thus omitting a great deal of them in this article). I seek for your
understanding. I would suggest that students mail me a sample of their essays for more
relevant and effective diagnosis.
Why I am not offering tips on content: Maturity of thinking largely stems from the
conscious effort on the individuals part to self-reflect, think and read. I cant teach
students what to argue. As an educator, I cant impose my views on my students. I can
only provide students the materials to stimulate them to think. Moreover, the materials I
have are catered towards General Paper, not O level expository.
ESSAY ORGANISATION
IMPT: Essay stand MUST be located in the first paragraph. Not in the second, nor the
third, nor the last.
Every introduction comprises of 2 to 3 components:
Elaboration
Stand
Introduction of intended essay structure (optional, can be merged with
stand)
IMPT: If possible, a student should introduce how he/she intends to structure the essay
immediately after stating his/her stand.
I lifted this example from the O level Ten Year Series answer scheme:
O level 2008 Paper 1 Q4 Television, newspapers and the internet which of these do young people prefer as a
source of information and why?
Introduction:
Information overload!So goes the common complaint due to the constant
flood of data bombarding the common person in this day and age. Yet,
knowledge is power; information is still sought to keep abreast with the
times. The television, newspapers, and Internet are common mediums via
which information is obtained. However, which of these three is the
preferred choice of most youths?
Conclusion:
Therefore, with the control it affords, easy accessibility, and the
interactive nature of the Internet, it is the clear choice of most youths.
For some reason, the answer scheme placed the stand in the concluding
paragraph. The introduction is entirely made up of elaboration with no
stand and/nor introduction of intended essay structure. That is a big
no-no.
What should be in the introduction:
XXX (Elaboration) XXXX The Internet is the preferred choice of most youths.
(Stand) In this essay, I shall demonstrate that youths favour the Internet
due to the allure of individual empowerment, ease of accessibility and
interactive nature.(Introduction of intended essay structure)
I know there are many styles of writing. But as a student who is weak in expository, you
have to live by one basic principle your thought process has be CLEAR and thus
understandable. Even you have complex ideas, as long as the student organizes his/her
thoughts well, presentation of ideas will be simple. Regardless of the high level of
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
10 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
11 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
12 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
up
Are you tutoring for 1-1 N Level student? Thanks. May you email to :
aloha8946@yahoo.com.sg.
Login or register to post comments
theyong | Sat, 14/03/2015 - 2:21pm
Dear Mummy,
Did u able to
Dear Mummy,
Thanks alot.
U may email me @ekingsmen@hotmail.com
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
13 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
I was desparate as well.. finding a good tutor same as u find a needele in the
sea.. If u got any recommended.. please text me the contact.. Please
Greatly appreciated..
Thansk
U may reach me @81613229..
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
14 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
Help needed
Hi Amanda,
My son is dyslexia, hope you are available to teach him.
i can be contacted at jasgoh02@yahoo.com.sg
please pm me at 96882693.
Login or register to post comments
Jassergoh | Sat, 22/02/2014 - 3:42pm
Enquiry
Hi Amanda,
This is a very good article. Thanks for sharing. I have a son 11+ years and I hope if
you can teach him. Can you pls provide your contact details?
Thank you very much!
Best Rdgs,
purpleA
Login or register to post comments
purpleA | Thu, 02/01/2014 - 2:31pm
Enquiry
Hi Amanda
I have two daughters aged 7 and 12.
I am interested to sign them up for your classes.
Do you teach in a tuition centre or provide one-on-one teaching?
your contact details.
Please provide
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
15 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
great post
thanks for posting such a tremendously informative blog. it's enriched my knowledge
on essay writing.
Login or register to post comments
yenfisca | Tue, 03/09/2013 - 12:58pm
Thumbs Up to Amanda!
Great article n great tips but i still can't get my P2 gal to write a proper para. If you
are unable to teach, can you recommend a good tutor please please please..? Thank
you so much!
Login or register to post comments
chubby mum | Mon, 15/07/2013 - 10:25pm
My Struggles
Hi,
Thanks for such an awesome write-up.
It fully describes the anguish I went through as I scrapped through English paper and
General Paper for my O levels and A level. I am still struggling with writing and hope
to learn how to hone my writing skills.
Can we get in touch as I would like to learn from you on how to craft
critical/analytical essays.
Cheers, Ying Rui
Login or register to post comments
tyingrui | Wed, 17/10/2012 - 2:47pm
Thx
Wow! What an article,amazing,splendid. I depth info. Thanks a lot...do keep it up!
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
16 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
Keep in touch.. ;)
Heyya there Amanda, PM received with thanks! ;) Am glad some of my sharings are
useful to you n hope it can be a headstart to your chosen career path. It is not often
tt I find fellow educators who share my passion or understand my addiction in
working with children who fall btwn the cracks of the system so I find extreme
pleasure in reading you thru your writing. Yes, feel free to keep in touch n to share
your many challenges ahead as well as triumphant successes... I can be like your
own Aunt Aggy in times of distress if you like. :) I am confident for someone with an
undying passion to serve, these challenges you may face ahead are perfect obstacles
in your cause..... to keep you moving forward undeterred. Cheers, Amanda...here's
my first toast to ur journey ahead... that road less travelled. May your inner calling
bring you immense happiness.
Best regards, buds.
Login or register to post comments
buds | Sat, 03/09/2011 - 2:40am
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
17 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
Thanks a million!
I thank all for your kind comments :).
@angelight: You will be comforted to know that my company is filled with
like-minded peers whose passion in teaching and kid interaction are highly evident.
@buds: Hi fellow odd ball! I am glad to find other tutors who love teaching
underperforming students. And what you said is spot-on. That absolute satisfaction...
that tremendous high that I get from teaching underperforming students is terribly
addictive.
I am afraid that future articles may be a rarity though, for time is a luxury :P
Login or register to post comments
phppsmss | Sun, 03/07/2011 - 10:44pm
Luxury
Quote phppsmms, "@buds : Hi fellow odd ball! I am glad to find other
tutors who love teaching underperforming students. And what you said
is spot-on. That absolute satisfaction... that tremendous high that I get
from teaching underperforming students is terribly addictive."
Hi again Amanda, i agree time is indeed a luxury especially if i have to
teach and still manage my household plus now 3 kiddies! *faintz* LOL!
Oddball i definitely am... but what's even more odd is that i am not a
tutor. I'm a semi retired educator liao, but i suppose i have that soft spot
to fill one or two of my time at home to help. I'm more into trouble
shooting foundation work. Most who come to me be it the young ones or
older, have some cracks in foundation so my challenge is really to zoom
in on where it is and patch it up so that they can go auto mode on their
own in case they were to do without my guidance anymore.
So... about that addiction, i totally geddit girl. ;)
"I am afraid that future articles may be a rarity though, for time is a
luxury :P"
I believe it is dear... i believe it is. *hugs* Just know we are your ready
audiences anytime. *wink* So to me at least, getting to read you once in
awhile would be truly a luxurious experience. I can feel you from your
writing. I've bookmarked your articles. Cheers, Amanda. ;)
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
18 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
Best regards.
Login or register to post comments
buds | Mon, 04/07/2011 - 2:13am
2/11/2015 2:54 PM
19 of 19
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/tips-poor-essay-writers-part-ii
About Us
Contact Us
Forum
Privacy
Terms
2/11/2015 2:54 PM