GOMAD

2007 Volume 1. Issue 3 - FREE

www.gomadmagazine.com.au gomad media
mag5_2.indd 2 14/12/07 4:44:43 PM
 GOMAD
Editor’s Letter

M A G A Z I N E

Volume 1 - Issue 03
2007

CEO
Sean Fitzgerald

EDITOR
Jenny Lui Welcome to GOMAD Magazine issue three. As you can
see, we are wide-eyed and bushy-tailed with a touch of
DESIGNERS mad cow in the headlights. We have cut, paste, ripped,
Hayoung Lee stapled and papier-mâchéd this glorious issue together
Alex Lui for your viewing pleasure.

MARKETING AND ADVERTISING In this issue, our MAD student community can follow
Moses Chikazaza the journey of Uni Chick, become well versed on
Mr Garro the beginnings of Ebay, get tips on pimping your
Tino “Trigga” Gaka MySpace profile, get clued up on Chlamydia, get tips
for backpacking in Europe and explore the ins and outs
CONTRIBUTORS of erections. We’ve covered the important and the
Mr Andersen obscure and we also aim to cover topics relevant to the
Allira Caddies student community. If you are a student and wish to
Nomadrick Chappo contribute feel free to contact us at GOMAD and drive
Greg Hall
us crazy with your mad ways.
Kristen Hawkins
Samuel Herreck
It’s been a hard slog and we have spent many sleepless
M N Nikk
nights working ourselves stupid to bring you the
Xylish
fodder, I mean brilliance that is GOMAD Mag so please
enjoy.
GOMAD Media
Griffith University
Till the next issue…
Level 1 Community Centre, N661.31
Nathan Campus
170 Kessels Road
Nathan QLD 4111 Jenny Lui
Editor GOMAD Magazine
All Enquiries:
Phone: (07) 3735 7612
Fax: (07) 3735 4262
Email: gomad.media@gmail.com Let me know your thoughts on GOMAD
Web: www.gomadmagazine.com.au Magazine, email gomad.mag@gmail.com

Disclaimer
The views expressed in GOMAD Magazine are those of the contributors and not necessarily shared by the
magazine and its staff. All content appearing in GOMAD Magazine is subject to copyright and may not be
reproduced without written consent from copyright owners.
GOMAD magazine 27

mag5_2.indd 27 13/12/07 6:43:11 PM




07 Uni Chick 14 Design GOMAD’s Front Cover

The journey of a fresh(wo)man Go mad and create the next cover for GOMAD

08 Event Calendar 15 Trender Benders

What’s going on around Brisbane? The styles and thoughts of some very mad
cats
09 www.history...
10 years of Ebay – The history of online bidding. 17 Whose Mad?
Who got loco and WON the MAD bomb?
10 Tech Tips
Ways to pimp out your Myspace Profile 18 Art & Culture
How 80’s video games influence art today.
11 Gadget
Another feather in the Apple cap – iPhone 19 How Clued Up Are You?
review Get cluey about Chlamydia and win stuff!

12 TR3ND 20 Health
Cool gadgets and in things The ins and outs of erections

13 Smashin’ Fashion 21 Travel

The Duck’s Nuts or the Dog’s Bog Backpacking in Europe – Tips for student travel


 

mag5_2.indd 5 14/12/07 4:41:46 PM

 U n i C h ic k e p is o
de #3
O
rientation week as a ‘mature
age’ student was meant to be
fun and liberating – last time I
checked, I was only 26 and that
still gives me a license to unlimited parties,
drinking sessions, ability to shop at funky
little 20-something clothing shops and …act
like a young person. What people failed to
mention to me was that in uni terms, 26 is
mature age and mature age means old.
Thrown smack bang in to the middle of
O-week is like some naked-in-the-middle-of
–class dream gone crazy, except this time
I wasn’t naked, but thrown back in to the
middle of grade 12 where everyone around
me is 17 , only I am older and fatter.
I am not sure if I am the only one that has
noticed this. At times I have felt like a covert
operations detective or as if I am the main
character in a movie where the only human
tries to move slowly, undetected through
the mass of zombie’s, hoping to blend in but
inevitably caught out as the infidel.
They seem to accept me as one of their
own (up until the point that I mention my age
and am cast out from the fold like a leper).
I have been persistently asked what high
magazine3_is3_revise.indd 7
school I am from or whether I am from out
of town (note rolling of the eyes) and I have
found out that despite my advanced social
enlightenment I have become alarmingly
prejudiced against this new breed of
generation whatever-the-hell-you-call-them.
I can’t decide whether it is the stick
–thinness of them, squeezed in to too-small
80s style clothing or the fact that they hang
out in packs and bemoan the fact that they
won’t be allowed to get legally drunk for
another 3 and a half months, 6 days and 5
hours, at which time the toga party will be
over and their lives ruined (oh, the agony!).
But I am not sure what is worse – being
thrown in with the ex-high schoolers or being
classified as being ‘mature aged’ and lumped
amongst the 60 + baby boomers who have
passed the menopause threshold and
gained a second lease on life - re-inventing
themselves as uni-grandma’s. They have a
clique – the groaning about lazy husbands
and grown up kids while reliving the 60’s
clique.
These ‘mature agers’ have held secret
meetings ( well not so secret, more like
faculty-organised getting-to-know-you
Uni Chick
workshops turned anti-teenage, no-holds-
barred bitching-sessions) calling all ‘us’
mature-agers to a wide-spread anti-17 yr old
movement, bordering on total anarchy.
The intrigue, the treachery…Whatever
happened to the good-old fashioned kegs-
on-the-lawn and drunken orgies I have
heard so much about? What of the student
associations and anti-war rallies against
the injustices of uni fees and the war in
Iraq? Has it all really been overtaken with
the battle of the generations, tight clothes,
post menopausal women and self-obsessed
anorexic teenagers?
Do we really work through 12 years of
school, exams, finals, blood sweat and tears
(and all the rest) simply to endure another
4 or 5 years of institutional torture, fighting
for the best seat in the lecture theatre and
struggling through the hoards at the canteen
to find yourself a clean seat far enough away
from the endless junk-food machines to
avoid the temptation of emotional eating?.
Now I really am starting to sound like a
mature age student.
GOMAD magazine 7
3/12/07 9:16:11 AM
 E V E N T C A L E N DA R

Nov 6
Mer cedes-Benz
Nov 6
>
Melbour ne Cup
Nov 2 Par ty Raceday
Ve n u e : E a g l e F a r m Melbour ne Cup Luncheon
Telstr a Ballet in the Racecourse Ve n u e : F ! X R e s t a u r ant, Port Office Hotel
Entry: FREE E n t r y : $ 7 5 / p e r s o n all-inclusive ticket
Gar dens C o n t a c t : w w w. q t c . o r g p r i c e i n c l u d e s a f o u r-course menu,
Venue: City B o t a n i c G a r d e n s ,
r e f r e s h m e n t o n a r r i v al, gift bag for each
Riverstag e
g u e s t , s w e e p s , l a r g e plasma screens and
En try: FREE
F a s h i o n s o ff t h e F i e ld.
Contact: www. a u s t r a l i a n b a l l e t . c o m . a u
C o n t a c t : ( 0 7 ) 3 2 2 1 00 7 2

Nov 9
Cut Copy – So HauntedTour
Ve n u e : T h e Ti v oli
Entry: $27.60
C o n t a c t : w w w. t icketek.com.au

Nov 9-11
Good Food & W ine
Show
Ve n u e : Brisbane Convention &
E x h i b i t i o n C e n tr e
E n t r y : P lease website for
t i c k e t p r i ci n g
C o n t a c t : www.goodfoodshow.
com.au

Nov 1 0
Oper ator Please – Just

N o v 1 4 -1 5
a Song About Ping Pong
Ve n u e : Q u e e n Street Mall
Entry: FREE
Come Play W ith Us – QUT
Nov 1 1
C o n t a c t : w w w.brisbanemarketing.
Communication Design com.au
Gr aduate Exhibition 2007 F light Centr e Limited
Venue: T h e B l o c k : Q U T C r e a t i v e Discover Eur ope Tr avel
In du strie s Pr ec inc t , Kelv in G r ov e Show 2008
En try: F REE Ve n u e : B r i s b a n e C o n v e n t i o n &
Contact: w w w. c i p r e c i n c t . q u t . c o m Exhibition Centre, South Bank
Entry: FREE
Contact: lenita_chidgey@
flightcentre.com

Nov 1 8
Austr alian Pr o Tour of
Nov 1 8
Wakeboar ding
Venue: South B a n k R i v e r
F luf fy Festival
Ve n u e : R N A S h o w g r o u n d s
Nov 20
Entry: Specta t o r s F R E E , Entry: Please check
Co mpe titors pleas e c hec k webs it e website for ticket pricing
Blink Speed Dating

Contact: www. w a k e b o a r d i n g . c o m . a u
C o n t a c t : w w w.
f l u ff y f e s t i v a l . c o m . a u
.
Ve n u e : P o r t O ff i ce Hotel
E n t r y : $ 5 9 p e r p e r so n
C o n t a c t : w w w. b l i nkdating.com.au

8 GOMAD magazine

magazine3_is3_revise.indd 8 3/12/07 9:18:06 AM


t 1 0 Years
Th e Firs
Ebay :
Yes, you read that correctly: ten
years. eBay was created in September
1995, by a man called Pierre Omidyar,
who was living in San Jose. He wanted
his site - then called ‘AuctionWeb’ - to be
To u r an online marketplace, and wrote the
first code for it in one weekend. It was
one of the first websites of its kind in the
world. The name ‘eBay’ comes from the
domain Omidyar used for his site. His
company’s name was Echo Bay, and the
‘eBay AuctionWeb’ was originally just
one part of Echo Bay’s website at ebay.
com. The first thing ever sold on the
site was Omidyar’s broken laser pointer,
which he got $14 for.
The site quickly became massively
popular, as sellers came to list all sorts
of odd things and buyers actually
bought them. Relying on trust seemed
to work remarkably well, and meant
that the site could almost be left alone
to run itself. The site had been designed
from the start to collect a small fee on
each sale, and it was this money that
Omidyar used to pay for AuctionWeb’s
expansion. The fees quickly added up
to more than his current salary, and so
he decided to quit his job and work on
the site full-time. It was at this point,
in 1996, that he added the feedback
facilities, to let buyers and sellers rate
each other and make buying and
selling safer.
.
In 1997, Omidyar changed
AuctionWeb’s - and his company’s -
name to ‘eBay’, which is what people
had been calling the site for a long
time. He began to spend a lot of money
on advertising, and had the eBay logo
designed. It was in this year that the
mag3.indd 9
w w w.histor y...
one-millionth item was sold (it was a toy
version of Big Bird from Sesame Street).
Then, in 1998 - the peak of the
dotcom boom - eBay became big
business, and the investment in Internet
businesses at the time allowed it to
bring in senior managers and business
strategists, who took in public on the
stock market. It started to encourage
people to sell more than just collectibles,
and quickly became a massive site
where you could sell anything, large or
small. Unlike other sites, though, eBay
survived the end of the boom, and is
still going strong today.
1999 saw eBay go worldwide,
launching sites in the UK, Australia and
Germany. eBay bought half.com, an
Amazon-like online retailer, in the year
2000 - the same year it introduced Buy
it Now - and bought PayPal, an online
payment service, in 2002.
Pierre Omidyar has now earned an
estimated $3 billion from eBay, and still
serves as Chairman of the Board. Oddly
enough, he keeps a personal weblog
at http://pierre.typepad.com. There are
now literally millions of items bought
and sold every day on eBay, all over
the world. For every $100 spent online
worldwide, it is estimated that $14 is
spent on eBay – now that’s a lot of laser
pointers.
Kristen Hawkins
GOMAD magazine 9
13/12/07 4:57:33 PM
 Te c h Ti p s

A
W a y s to P im p O -
u t Yo u r M y s p a c e
P ro fi le

MySpace is presently counted as one

tions and
of the nets most remarkable stations for
it gener-
the internet users that have plenty of
ates the code
time on their hands to surf and social-
for you to paste
ize thus making MySpace successful
into your MySpace
with flying colors. The amalgamation of
profile options. You
everything that social interaction brings
can also get Myspace
for instance building relationship, ex-
tweaks that hold some
panding your business, increasing your
alluring feature like hiding
knowledge, etc. makes Myspace even
your friends list, details sec-
more versatile than a social network.
tion, general information, the
Myspace remains a rapidly expanding
search form, friends and much
community based site that gives you the
more. If you have the desire to
chance to reach across the globe and
change looks of the arrow cursor
make friends and build up personal or
that you are tired of to make your pro-
business relationship internationally.
file more stylish you can copy the cursor
To get connected with the different
code of your choice available online and
people all around the world it is impor-
then paste it into your Myspace profile
tant that your MySpace profile should be
options. Some other cool things you can
unique and fun. If you really want to get
do are paste video code into your pro-
into it and pimp your profile out, you can
file options which will allow you to have
get the help of different services and en-
any video of your choice on your profile
ticing features provided by Myspace to
for your friends to watch. You can also
spice up your MySpace profile. There are
pimp your profile with MySpace Music
free services available for you to custom-
which is the hottest internet music site
ize your MySpace layouts and profiles to
for bands and fans to connect online.
make them really unique.
Depending on your style there are
Pimp out your MySpace profile with
a lot of things that you can do to pimp
cool animations, comment box tweaks
your profile and make it mind blowing
and glitter sparkle images. Starting with
with simple but powerful features of
MySpace layout which is the background
Myspace profile options. The amount
image and design for your profile, you
of freedom you have, to change your
can go about getting your own layout.
MySpace profile helps make Myspace
The first method is finding a pre-made
so versatile.
layout for the style of your choice on one
of the many MySpace websites on the
Mr Andersen
internet or you can go for the second
method by using a layout generator that
asks you a few questions, select a few op-

10 GOMAD magazine

magazine3_is3_revise.indd 10 3/12/07 9:18:25 AM

 G adget

Apple i p h o n e
- M ov i n g Fo r wa rd i n t h e World of Telecommunications.

cipients together with replies. Text

The iPhone launched by Apple
Inc. in 2007, is a multimedia and in-
ternet enabled mobile phone with
the functions of a camera phone and
iPod along with text messaging and
visual voice mail. The iPhone even
provides Internet services including
e-mail, web browsing and local Wi-fi
connectivity.
The features provided by iPhone
include conferencing, call holding,
call merging, caller ID, and integra-
tion along with other cellular net-
work features and iPhone functions.
The functions of an iPhone include
visual voicemail which permits the
users to view current voicemail mes-
sages on-screen without needing
to call their voicemail. Customers
can personalize their phone by pur-
chasing custom ringtones through
the ring tone feature that was intro-
duced in 2007 by Apple.
The iPhone presents text mes-
sages chronologically in a mailbox
format placing all the text from re-
messages are later displayed in
speech bubbles under the name of
each recipient. It is particular to note
that the iPhone does not support
MMS, instant messaging, and multi-
recipient capability.
Another feature of the iPhone
is the built-in 2.0 digital megapixel
camera which comes with software
that will allow the user to upload,
view, and e-mail photos. There is
a clear change in the layout of the
music library of iPod from previous
iPods. It is possible in iPhone to sort
the media library by songs, artists,
albums, videos, playlists, genres,
composers and compilations. The
users using iPhone are allowed to
purchase and download songs to
iPhone from the iTunes Store directly
through Wi-fi technology.
The Apple iPhone has the facil-
ity of internet connectivity and email
that enables the user to send photo
mail messages. The audio facility re-
lated to iPhone guarantees a digital
experience to the user. With the hi-
tech technology it is associated with,
iPhone has set the benchmark for an
integrated mobile phone and MP3
player.
Samuel Herreck

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mag3.indd 11 13/12/07 4:52:14 PM

 
























 


 











 


 






 Smashin Fashion

Daft Punk – harder, better, faster, stronger robot rock. December 20 2007,
something to tell your grandkids about, I’m gonna be there, are you?
Sassy barflies – they have a natural talent for finding subliminal
messages in icecubes.
Chocolate Pizza – dinner and dessert all in one meal.
Hello heart attack.
Ice cream – because it’s lickalicious and it’s gone and saved the day.
Gold – it’s gaudy, glam and goddam everywhere! GOLD!
Always believe in your soouull!
Making up your own lyrics – because it’s fun and makes just as much
sense anyways. Daft punk “one more time, we’ve got a salad breaker”
Self promotion – I’m the best, I’m fricken awesome and you know it.
TV – Because without it, we’d have to like, talk and make conversation…

Facebook - poke, poke back, poke, poke back, F*CK OFF before I poke
your friggen eyes out then you’ll have no face or eyes to read a book!
Delta Goodrem – has a great deal of pride but little to be proud of…
hussy, whiney, woe is me, home wrecker. Go away already.
Rove Mcmanus – a prime candidate for natural de-selection.
One show is enough.
Belts – high-waist, under your arse, does anyone actually use them to
hold anything up? (why not donate one to the homeless guy in the city
who’s always holding his pants up)
F luro – no wonder you need massive sunnies to match. You burn your
retinas just putting an outfit together.
B ubble Tea – stabbing that straw through is sweet therapy
but sucking those ‘pearls’ is absolutely disgusting.
P redictive text - about as useful as a mint flavoured suppository.
Ticket scalpers – scum of the earth.

GOMAD magazine 13

mag3_1.indd 13 12/12/07 7:35:40 PM

 Cove r Co m p e t i t ion

Are you an up and coming designer? Want to get yourself

some exposure and get your design on our next issue?
Here is the chance to get your original creative ideas out
there and receive recognition of your design concept
and a photo/bio of yourself in the next issue of GOMAD
magazine. By entering you have the opportunity
to get your creative ideas exposed to students,
lecturers, employers and the wider community.

design
the Next Cover for
GOMAD Magazine

Cover Design Brief

THEME : You decide
FILE FORMAT : A4 SIZE. PDF format. CMYK
DEADLINE : Midnight, Sunday,5th August.
DETAIL : Online submission only with a brief design
concept, short bio and photo of yourself.
Email to gomad.competition@gmail.com.
Enter as many times as you wish.
Terms and Conditions
*Entry is open to all Queensland TAFE and University students. *By submitting your work, you are agreeing to the disclaimer and terms and conditions. *Competition closes midnight
Sunday 5th August. Deadline dates will be strictly adhered to, late submission will not be accepted. * Winner will be notified by email, and design will be published in GOMAD Maga-
zine Volume1 issue 03 on 10th August 2007. The winner releases GOMAD from any and all causes of action, losses, liability, damage, expense (including legal expenses)cost of charge
suffered, sustained or in any way incurred by the winner as a result of entering the competition. All care is taken with submissions; however no responsibility will be taken for loss or
damage. *GOMAD’s decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into.

*Remember to read the disclaimer and terms and conditions. If you do not agree with the terms and conditions, please do not enter.

14 GOMAD magazine

magazine3_is3_revise.indd 14 3/12/07 9:19:40 AM

 Trender Benders

lista ir
Name: A
Age: 17 : W o o l worths
tion & Hype
Occupa ip H o p
yle: H :
Your st caught dead in
e
Never b s
Skinny L
eg
y o u G OMAD?
ke s
What ma
s
Sneaker

Name
Age: : Emma
1
Occu 6
Your pation: S
Neve style: H udent
t
r be ippy
Flar
es c a u ght
What dead
m akes in:
Boys you
GOM
AD?

: St uey
Name 5
1 ent
Age: ation: Stud e
p u
Occu tyle: Uniq dead in:
s
Your be caught
Never lothing O M AD?
c you G
Metro a k e s
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What
Pills

GOMAD magazine 15

mag5_5.indd 15 19/12/07 5:51:09 PM

 ... Ad ver tise here!
c o n t a c t o u r S a l e s & Marketing Team

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magazine3_is3_revise.indd 16 3/12/07 9:21:06 AM

 Whose Mad?

1. Who are you? 6. How MAD are you?

I am Taso from the Hubbit or Visit me at the Hubbit and find out
just call me The Hobbit Lord of for yourself!
Kebabs 7. MADdest thing you’ve done?
2. How young are you? Drove thru the Cavill Mall at New
Too young!!! Years Eve
3. What are you all about? 8. What makes you GOMAD?
Late nights and kebabs People who cannot decide what
4. What are you studying? the f*ck they want!
PHD in Sauciness 9. Ninja, Pirate or MADman?
5. Describe yourself in three words: Madninja
Tabouli, hommus, falafel 10. Weapon of choice?

The Gomad Test

Tongs

GOMAD magazine 17

mag5_1.indd 17 12/12/07 7:15:09 PM

 A R T & C U LT U R E
>
H o w 8 0 ’s V id e o
G a m e s I n fl u e n
c e A r t To d a y
T
he nostalgia of the 80’s
has been simmering in the
fashion wor ld for several
years. I t is per haps not a
sur pr ise that the pop culture of
the 80’s is also rear ing its head
in the ar t wor ld.
We have seen graffiti, which
was once considered a vulgar
expression of inner- cit y youth,
become a tool for mar keters and
embraced as a creative outlet for
ur ban ar tists.
This was made apparent on
an episode of ‘ The Apprentice’,
D onald Trump’s realit y program
aimed to selec t a candidate from
a group of smar t, resourceful
and business minded men and
women. One of the tasks given
to them on the ser ies included
creating an adver tisement for a
new game. They were to create
a graffiti inspired adver tisement
18 GOMAD magazine
magazine3_is3_revise.indd 18
> >
on the side of a building to be
used as a billboard.
Well, if D onald Trump has given
his approval
Speak ing of games,
another big hit in the 80’s was
video games - Pac M an, M ar io
Brothers and others were played
by most teens at one time or
another. These teens are now
adults look ing back with a hint
of nostalgia at their youth,
despite the fac t that it was only
15-20 years ago. But technology
changes quick ly and so these
icons of the 80’s are now being
featured in ar t galler ies like
G aller y N ineteen Eight y Eight in
Holly wood.
The galler y features pieces
that take a contemporar y look
at video games and is possibly
helping to create a new genre in
the field.
A painting depic ting Pac M an
as over-the -hill and on a dr ip of
pellets went for $3000 according
to a R euters press release.
The ar tist, Greg Simk ins,
claimed he star ted out by
painting graffiti in back alleys
before wor k ing with canvas. And
he’s not the only one br inging
this strange combination of video
and ar t to the public.
S o what should we expec t in
the nex t five years? Well, for the
ar t wor ld change is always good,
although of ten cr iticized in its
for mative years. S o we may have
to wait and see if ‘ video - game
ar t ’ will make a solid stand in the
ar t communit y. What we do k now
is that the or iginal game players
are now coming into their 40’s
and anyone under that age will
have grown up with video games
as a par t of their childhood, just
as ‘I Love Luc y ’ was a par t of
another generations’. B ecause of
that, the images will likely have
an emotional pull and impac t
on new and existing collec tors
today.
Greg Hall
3/12/07 9:21:33 AM
magazine3_is3_revise.indd 19 3/12/07 9:21:43 AM
 H e a lt h

Stud
How Does an Erection Work?

usual quantity of blood to enter

the penis. The blood goes into
the Corpora Cavernosa, the two
sponge-like tissues that are
designed to expand in size and
hold as much blood as possible.
The Corpus Spongiosum, the tubular
structure located just below the
Corpora Cavernosa through which urine
and semen pass, also becomes slightly
engorged with blood, but not nearly as
much as the Corpora Cavernosa.
Erection is one of the most
As soon as enough blood has
impressive functions of the human body
entered the penis, the arteries contract
that we can observe on a regular basis
in order to return to the normal flow
and without the aid of devices. While
of blood, thus preventing the blood
the process itself may look pretty simple
inside the penis from leaving the area.
and straightforward, it is anything but
The same system is used in the case of
that. Whether we’re talking about the
mechanical stimulation of the penis
penis or the clitoris, the process is largely
and in the absence of external stimuli.
the same and just as complex since it
The entire process is handled by the
is guided by either the central nervous
autonomic nervous system (ANS) with
system or by the autonomic nervous
minimal input from the central nervous
system, depending upon the type of
system. When the stimulation ends, the
stimulation encountered.
ANS makes the arteries constrict and
The most common type of
forces blood out of the penis.
stimulation for men is based on visual,
Although the cerebral cortex is not
auditory, olfactory, imagined, or tactile
involved in every type of stimulation that
stimuli that tell the cerebral cortex to
causes erection, it, nevertheless, can put
begin the erection process. The erectile
an end to any erection if it judges that
centers located in the lumbar and
the situation requires such action. This
sacral regions of the spinal cord then
is why men and women have to avoid
tell the nerves in the pubic area to start
things that can kill the mood and turn
releasing nitric oxide. Nitric oxide is a
them off.
chemical compound widely used by
all mammals as a signaling molecule in
M N Nikk
order to transmit information from one
cell to another.
When the nitric oxide is released,
the arteries that supply the
penis with blood dilate and
allow a
bigger
than

20 GOMAD magazine

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Student Travel – B
a ckpacking In Euro
Nomadrick Chappo
For the fortunate few, life isn’t complete
without a backpacking trip through
Europe. This right of passage is believed to
further the maturation process of college
students, according to sociologists. Of
course, others have opined that copious
amounts of alcohol, sun and Amsterdam
have something to do with it. Regardless
of your purpose, you still have to figure out
what to take. your purpose, you still have to
figure out what to take.
B a c k p a c k – G etting I n Touch
Wi t h Yo u r I nner M ule
> Obviously, the first critical item is your
backpack. While one doesn’t need to
buy the $10,000 Himalaya Turbo Pack,
you should also avoid the $12 blue light
special. So, how do you pick a happy
middle ground?
The best method for picking a
backpack involves three phone books.
Select/swipe/borrow three yellow
page books from neighbors/friends/
enemies and hit your local sporting
goods store. With the books, head to
the backpackapalozza section of the
store and pick out a few sturdy/cool/
outrageous rigs. Stuff the phone books
in, adjust the straps and go for a walk.
Now break out into a run to simulate
future dashes for trains/ ferries/ toilets
and make the sales people nervous.
These steps should quickly reveal the
perfect pack.
Now, you may have read other
publications suggesting highly technical
ways to select a backpack. Trust me;
until you have run for the last ferry from
Italy to Greece, you have no idea how to
pick a pack. The three phone book test
solves this nicely.
mag3.indd 21
pe
What To Take
> There are a few mantras that every
person should chant before packing for
Europe. These chants were developed
originally by the little known, Oh-My-
Back Monks of Southeast Asia. The “OMB”
Monks were known for traveling half way
to far off cities, turning around, returning
home and then traveling the full way to
said cities. Religious experts opined as to
the deep metaphysical meaning of such
trips. They were later embarrassed when
the monks revealed the back and forth
nature of the trips was due to forgetting
something, often whether they had
turned off the iron. Nonetheless, such
chants have become the guiding
light of experienced backpackers.
Let us slowly and clearly chant
together,
“I will pack only that which will
not result in me being hunched
over like a Sherpa.”
“Remember, I can pick it [(lower
voice) toothpaste, book, soap] up
over there.”
“I will not stuff thy pack to the point
of bursting, for thy damn zippers
always break/get snagged/refuse
to work.”
“I will learn humility through
wearing incredibly wrinkled
clothes and shall not bring an
iron.”
“I shall bring only one guide book,
not one for each country that I
MIGHT see.”
“I accept that I will come home
wearing something I didn’t take
and will have lost/traded/burned
much of what I did take.”
For female travelers and, okay, the
occasional male,
“I will not bring high heels or a
gaggle of make-up.”
Admittedly, chanting these mantras
will not bringing you immediate
enlightenment. Fret, not. You can always
throw items away or send them home
in a box to your parents/friends/parole
officer. For the resourceful backpacker,
it is not unheard of to send particularly
smelly/discolored/toxic clothing to an
ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend/little brother.
Follow these practical guidelines and you
will soon happily be speaking in a loud
voice to make foreigners understand
you.
TR AVEL
The Evidence
> This is the hard part for most travelers
to wrap their minds around. You will
forget those special moments of your
trip when you met the hunk Sven or
babe Svenetta from Sweden and had
a romantic evening/danced the night
away/got arrested in Ios/Ibiza/the
airport. Maybe not immediately, but you
will eventually forget.
You will also forget or lose the
contact information of people you meet,
despite meticulously writing it down on
the back of a coaster/napkin/your hand
in a bar/poetry reading/jail at three in
the morning. Surprisingly, said coaster/
napkin/hand often survives the night/
day/weekend and get deposited in your
already trashed backpack. Of course,
their presence is often forgotten when
you later put an Oktoberfest
mug/wet towel/toothbrush in.
The extra padding at the bottom
of your pack is specifically
designed to deal with the
decomposing result. Still, the
information is gone and so is
your future with Sven/Svenetta.
To properly record the
magical moments of your trip,
you must take a diary or journal.
Don’t worry, you can burn it later
before you get married/your
parents get nosey/you have
kids. You want a journal in a water/beer/
sweat resistant case. Of course, I prefer
a Travel Journal, but just make sure you
take something. When you have some
extra time in the bus/train/jail cell, you
can record how you got there and the
people you met.
Trust me, when you, Sven/Svenetta
and your nine children are sitting on
the porch 10 years later, you will greatly
enjoy reading your journal. Of course,
that assumes you didn’t burn it.
GOMAD magazine 21
7/1/08 3:59:44 PM
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