Victim Impact Statement Ivon Cowell

Good morning Your Honour,

My name is Ivon Cowell brother of Tania Cowell. March 10th 2013
changed my life forever. While vacationing in Florida with my wife and 2
children, I received the terrible news on the first day we arrived that my
sister had been murdered. My hardships started immediately as we had to
leave our 2 children in Florida to travel home to make funeral arrangements
to bury my sister. The impact that day of hearing that my little sister, my
only sister, had been brutally stabbed to death is excruciating and lingers in
my mind on a daily basis. My mind constantly rehashes how the last
moments of her life must have been so scary and painful. The thought of this
tortures me everyday and will do so for the rest of my life. The impact of
having to go into her apartment, the place where she was murdered, to gather
up her personal belongings and the babys belongings haunts me to this day.
The images are instilled in my mind and forever will be. Dealing with the
pain and grief of losing my sister and making funeral arrangements, we also
had to have ongoing meetings with the police, Childrens Aid, lawyers and
various social workers to make arrangements to get Bailun into our home
and out of foster care ASAP. Once we received Bailun, we hired a lawyer
to start the adoption process. This took my wife and I, weeks to months of
meetings which meant not being able to maintain full time employment
during that process. Not only did this take away from my career but also the
time taken away from my other two children who were also impacted by this
traumatic situation. We as a family decided that we needed a fresh start and a
home with another bedroom for Bailun; so we moved to begin a new life
together as a family of 5. While struggling everyday to focus and function
and get back to some normalcy was difficult to do. We were on an
emotional roller coaster as a family. My wife and I decided that we needed
some help dealing with our grief, depression and extreme anxiety. We
decided to seek help in the community and joined a group therapy program
to connect with other families impacted by homicide.
My sister was a person with real feelings and emotions. Like all
human beings, she was not perfect. I grew up with my sister and saw the
many beautiful qualities she had. Sitting in court and listening to only
negative stories about my sister was very difficult for me. These stories
presented in court did not encompass who she truly was a big-hearted,
kind, caring, and loving person. Seeing my sister lying on the floor covered
in blood resonates at the front of my mind and is the last image I have of her.

I say to myself that this is not right or fair and how could this happen. Now
I try to move forward in my life but I say to myself that the consequences for
this crime will never be enough. She is never coming back. I am
emotionally, financially, mentally and physically impacted by the murder of
my sister and life will never be the same. I will never be the same.
Every holiday, birthday or family celebrations that I would get
together with my sister, are now only memories as she is no longer here to
celebrate with us. These happy occasions are now stained with sadness as
the cloud of what happened to Tani always lingers knowing she will never
have another birthday, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving. She never had 1
mothers day as she was killed before being able to celebrate her new found
motherhood. She will never walk down the aisle and have the wedding she
always dreamed of having. She will never dance, laugh, or smile again. I
live with these thoughts everyday. It scares me to know that each day I am
one day closer to having to tell Bailun what really happened to his mother.
This is a fear that I constantly think about.
On a daily basis, everytime I look at Bailun I see my sister and think
about how sad it is that I am raising my sisters child and how she was
deprived of being a mother. On the same token, I also have the constant
image of Haiden in my mind the man who killed my sister. This I will
have for the rest of my life. This is my living nightmare that never ends.
Thank you for listening.