Wham, Barn, Alonzo says.

Thank. You, Just don't do it

Ma'am in bed, a "surefire
Diana Reyes's way to stress
guy was smart, the relationship."
funny and a great Use honest but
kisser. But when nonjudgmental
the couple had language. Make "1"
sex for the first statements, such
time, it lasted "less as "Sometimes
than a minute. 1 think that you
He came, rolled don't seem very
over and told interested" or "I
me not to touch really want some
him," remembers additional playing
Reyes, now 38. around before we
Bewildered start intercourse,"
and severely to avoid 'blaming
disappointed, the other person,
Reyes never called Alonzo says.
him back. Hasty
,. decision? Not It's You Too
necessarily, says It takes two to
Daniel Alonzo, have bad sex.
Psy.D., a sex and "Both need to take
family therapist. responsibility
With sex, "each to what they are
person has to contributing to
take responsibility the disappointing
for his or her sex and have to be
pleasure," he willing to reveal
says. "You should personal parts
be able to try ofthemselves-
as hard-or thoughts, fears,
'~~~-'\'f",""C~, ,...,
not-as you want, worries, fantasies,
i according to pleasures," Alonzo
I how important says. If you still
oJ
the relationship can't get on the
is to you." same page, it's
time to rethink
Close Legs, whether this is
MYTH Open Mouth
BUSTER If you have an STD,liKe But what if every
the relationship
for you. "This is
herpes, but don't currently other aspect of risky business,"
have an outbreal" your relationship Alonzo warns.
are you still contagious? is clicking, you're "Make yourself
vulnerable
Yes, unfortunately. Although the virus is most commonly passed when there madly in love,
are visible sores, there's still a chance you could spread it when you aren't but sex is crucial and there's a
symptomatic. To reduce the risk of infecting your partner, avoid having sex (this for you? Time to chance you'll be
means oral, vaginal and anal) during an outbreak and use protection in between. talk. Keep quiet disappointed.
The scary thing is that many people who have herpes don't know it-thanks and risk boredom But you also have
to a lack of symptoms or incorrect self-diagnosis-possibly contributing to the and resentment. a greater chance
fact that one in five people nationwide have the virus. For more info, visit the
"Conversations aUrue intimacy
American Social Health Association (ashastd.org).
about sex and understanding
are extremely your partner."
important," -Damarys Ocana

STRIKE A POSE
THE SUMMER is winding down and you're about ready to jump back into online dating,
right? Well, Whitney Casey of Match.com gave us some tips for posting your best
profile picture. First and foremost, make sure your personality comes through and that
the photo truly represents who you are. Show some diversity-since you can usually
post more than one image, go for a variety of poses, and don't shy away from a full-
length shot. Resist the temptation to leave off photos completely. According to Casey,
you're 15 times more likely to get attention with a photo than without.

86 LATINA. COM . SEPTEMBER 2009