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8 Step Change-Your-Beliefs Process

1. Notice where in your life things arent working. Pick one of those areas to
focus on today. It could be a specific situation (like the argument with Jane or an area of
your life like health or romance)
Focus Area:

2. Inventory your beliefs about the situation. Your assumptions. Your view of reality.
Lets say you feel frustrated at work. Your team is driving you crazy. Your beliefs about the
situation might include things like these:
a. Jane is incredibly difficult to work with.
b. If I bring up the elephant in the room, the situation is going to explode.
c. In this company culture, you dont stir things up. Doing so would put my job at risk.

3. Go a little deeper. What mega beliefs about life or about yourself are informing
how you are showing up in the situation? For example, those mega-beliefs might be
things like these:
a. People who stir up conflict end up with no one on their side.
b. I cant handle conflict.
c. Everything will work out in the end.
d. Everyone is doing the best they can.
e. When people dont get along, they just dont. Better to accept it and move on.

4. Scan over all of the beliefs you inventoried in Steps 2 and 3. Which ones do you think are
serving you well? Which ones are old, unhelpful or limiting beliefs that do not
support you in creating the life you want? Which ones only reflect a partial truth?
Write down one of those you know youd like to change.
The belief Id like to change is:

5. Then, note when and how you learned this belief. Was it a childhood wound, a
message from one of your parents? Was it a painful early experience in school? You might not
know, and thats okay.
I learned this belief when:

Note: Sometimes, youll find that remembering where the belief came from can bring up a lot of
emotion emotion that didnt get fully felt at the time you lived through the experience. Just let it
come. Breathe, feel it, and stand compassionately with yourself. Journal about it name the feelings
that are coming up. Let the feelings crest, like a wave, and then pass through you. Receive them
lovingly. Its just emotion working its way through you totally healthy, totally normal.

6. Look at the belief and decide if youd like to hold on to it, or change it. Is it serving
you or not? Is it time to update it to a belief that better serves you now?

7. If your answer is that the belief is not serving you, or that its time to try out a new one, do
just that. What belief around the topic would serve you better, would help you go for your
fulfilling life? Be willing to try on beliefs that are so counter to your old ways that they dont
feel true.

You can see some examples of old belief/new belief pairs in the chart below.

Old Belief
Men only care about womens looks, and
mine arent so great.
If I were ten pounds lighter, my life would be
hIf you shine too brightly, other women get
If Im assertive, Ill be labeled a bitch at work.
I have no self discipline around food.

New Belief
There are many men who are looking for
smart, interesting women with unique beauty
women just like me.
My lift gets better as I deepen my spiritual
practice and my commitment to service.
I celebrate other womens success, and those
who have the capacity to do so celebrate
mine. Those who dont have that capacity? I
send them all my love and blessings.
Im assertive and kind. I know that most
people are cool with that, and I can handle the
fact that some people will be threatened by it.
Sometimes, when I get stressed or very
scared I turn to food, but I can learn new
ways to calm my stress and fear.

Now do this for yourself with the belief youd like to change
Old Belief :

The New Belief Id Like to Replace It With / The New Belief Im Willing to Try On:

8. Act As If. Heres the cool part. You dont have to believe that the new belief is true in order
to adopt it. Instead, act as if it were true and see what the results are.
Keep adopting the new belief, over time. This isnt a one day process. What youve
done so far is identify the belief you want to let go of, and then the new one you want to

adopt. Now youll need to retrain your brain around the new belief, and that takes openness,
acting as if its true, and repetition.
Its a good idea to write the new belief where youll see it regularly, and remind yourself to
try on the new belief and walk through your life, through various situations as if it were true.
Remember, its okay to not believe it. Just hold it as if it were true and see what the results are of
holding that belief as true.
Want more?
If youd like, you can go back up to your answers to questions #3 and #4. If you notice other
limiting, unhelpful beliefs youd like to change, you can continue with steps 5-8 for those beliefs
Lots of love to you,