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Self-Assessment
Instructions:
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I know that empathy means to try to see it through their eyes and feel what they feel.
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Once I set an interpersonal goal for myself, I know the steps to take to achieve it.
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HSTORY OF ASSERTIVENESS
The concept of assertion was simplified to saying no and getting your own way or
to standing up for your rights and getting where and what you want in bed, at work on the
social scene, and at home (Smith-1975)
Today assertion training is viewed by scientific and Professional comminities as a
powerful but limited techniqe that can be tremendous benefit to individuals when used by
well-trained clinicians who are coglisand of the complexities involved in helping people
achieve their behavior-chance goals.At is really a prototypical intervention fort he modern
world,vanded, while unneccesary in earlier times, dramatical the needs of people todays
technological chaotic, and unstablle environment.
Socrates argued that all voluntary acts were rational, in the sense that the person had
good reasons fort he action,and that it was impossible for a person to respond voluntarily in
ways antogonistic to good reasons.
2-WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS?
Assertiveness is about self confidence which means having a positive attitude towards
yourself and others.It means being honest with yourself and others; and it is about respecting
yourself and others. When you are self confident and your behavior is assertive, you are open
to others and their views eventhough they may be different from your own.
Being assertive is essentially about respecting yourself and others. It is about having a basic
belief that your opinions, beliefs, thoughts and feelings are as important as anybody elses and
that this goes for other people to.It is about being in touch with your own needs and wants but
contrary to some misconceptions about assertive behaviour.It is not about going for what you
want at any cost.
Identify the areas in which you lack self esteem, and find techniques which suit you
which you can use to build yourself up
Be aware of negative messages you gie yourself and change them into posiive ones
Identify what you are good at, what skills you have, what your achievements are,your
qualities.Make a list.
Tell yourself you are unique individual and that you owe it to yourself to do what is
right for you
3-TYPES OF ASSERTIVENESS
Passive behaviour
The person who behaves non-assertively in a situation does not assert his/her basic rights,
instead he/she allows others to infringe upon them.
Assertive behaviour
The person who behaves assertively in a situation asserts his/her basic rights.He/she takes
responsibility for them whilst recognizing and respecting to other persons basic rights.
Aggresive behaviour
The person who behaves aggresively in a situation asserts his/her basic rights at the expense
of the other persons rights.He/she does not respect that other person has rights.
Manipulative behaviour
The person who behaves manipulatively has a negative opinion of himself/herself and of
others.His/her behaviour is self destructive and destructive towards others.The person is
usually depressed and demotivated.
I am not ok,you are ok-----non-assertive behaviour
I am ok,you are ok-----assertive behaviour
Iam ok,you are not ok------aggressive behaviour
I am not ok,you are not ok---manipulative behaviour.
Self putdowns
demotivated
Feelings of superiority
Ask questions
Listen to others
4-SKILLS OF ASSERTIVENESS
a)broken record
A skill that by calm repetition-saying what you want over and over again.Teaches persistence
without your having to rehearse arguments or angry feelings beforehand, in order to be up
for dealing with others
b)fogging
A skill that teaches acceptance of manipulative critism by calmly acknowledging to your critic
probablity that there may be some truth in what he says,yet allows you to remain your own
judge of what you do
c)negative assertion
A skill that teaches acceptance of your errors and faults (without having to apologize) by
strongly and sympathetically agreeing with hostileor constructive critism of your negative
qualities.
d)negative inquiry
A skill that teaches the active prompting of critism in order to use the information (if helpful)
or exhaust it (if manupilative) while prompting your critic to be more assertive, less
dependent on manupilative ploys.
e)free information
A skill that teaches the recognition of simple cues given by a social partner in everyday
conversation to indicate what isinteresting or important to that person.
f) self disclosure
A skill that teaches the acceptance and initiation of discussion of both the positive and
negative aspects of your personality behaviour, life style, intelligence, to enhance social
comminication and reduced manupilation.
g)workable compromise
In using your verbal assertive skills, it is practical, whenever you feel that your self respect is
not in question, to offer a workable compromise to other person.You can always bargain for
your material goals unless the compromise affects your personel feelings of self respect.If the
end goal involves a matter of your self worth, however, there can be no compromise.
6-ASSERTIVENESS IN CULTURES
In generally people tend to express themselves on assertive way but assertiveness does not
seem symphatic by society generally.School,church and the family pressure restricts
assertivenessat early periods of the individuals. Assertiveness is directly related with
masculine characteristic in some cultures.Also assertiveness is directly related with
individualizm.Assertiveness may behave on different ways according to cultures..For
example;
In the Asian comminities being a group member and prestige is valuable.It is not
important how he/she see himself/herself,but it is important how he/she seems by
society.Comminication is indirect becouse they dont want to break someones
heart.Assertiveness,which described by western civilization as expressing himself
America and the civilizations who are in touch with USA are also behaves assertive.
The right to do anything which does not violate the rights of others
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8-SAYING YES OR NO
Saying yes and saying no are important responses which an assertive person needs to be
able to make.They are important ways we have of defining ourselves and showing other
people how we wish to be treated and where our bounaries are.They are not the only assertive
resonses that we may wish to make in a particular situation.
Why is it difficult to say no?
They would say yes to me (and so will feel guilty if refuse them)
Once you have said no , do not stay around waiting to be persuaded to change your
mind.Make a definite closure by changing the subject,walking away, continuing with
what you are doing-whatever is appropriate
Remember you are saying no to that particular request,not rejecting the person
If the request takes you unawares or you have not sufficent time to think when
asked,you can always say, I will let you know n order to give yourself time to think
about what you want to say
Take responsibility for saying no-do not blame the other person for asking you
Ask for more information if you need it in order to decide whether you want to say
yes or no
I dont deserve it
Having calarified thughts for yourself then reaffirm your desire to say yes
Personal identity
Wages or salary
Social environment
Employees should be assertive in order to get what they want from their work-life to have a
fair standart of life at least.
For that purpose individuals use assertive skills (we have mentioned above) , and they are
needed in dealing with;
Theirselves
Their colleagues
Their subordinates
Clients or customers
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Some people have difficulties in dealing assertively with one or more of these groups,while
being confident in dealing with members of other groups.This is in part becouse a persons
responsibilities to the members of each these groups differs.
Is it beter to wait?
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