Immaculate Heart of Mary School Newsletter

May:2015

Teen Tantrums: Ten Ways to Ensure Anger Doesnt Rule Your House
(Our thanks to Blue Ribbon, Schools of Excellence and David Walsh, Ph.D for the
article.)
The periods of childhood and school-life are soon past, and then there begins a period
of life which is, indeed, fraught with dangers for your son and your daughter. It is the period
of transition in which the life-course of your child is definitely settled, its character firmly
fixed, and its vocation decided. It is the period which decides the weal or woe of your childs
whole future, both temporal and eternal. During this period the battle between Christ and
Satan, between the Church and the World, rages more than ever for the possession of the
heart of your growing boy and girl. In this period your child experiences new and strange
sensations; and novel ideas, inclinations and desires present themselves; they promise
pleasure and more or less insistently demand gratification. On every side the child beholds the
alluring appeals of the three-fold concupiscence, everywhere it sees the wanton abandon with
which the votaries of the world seem to surrender themselves to every enjoyment and
pleasure. Few it sees who follow in the footsteps of Christ, few who mortify their passions and
deny their inclinations, and these few are despised and ridiculed. Will your child join the big
crowd, or will it follow in the wake of the few?It's not easy, but here are some steps that can
help you take charge and teach your kids a very important life lesson.
Modeling. The first step in preventing out-of-control behavior in our teens is modeling. We'll
be less able to confront our teen's inappropriate behavior if we lose control ourselves. If you
do lose control of your anger, find a way to mend and apologize.
Adjust your expectations. Remember that changing an unhealthy pattern won't change
overnight. Look for progress, not perfection.
Talk. Choose a time to have this serious and important discussion when there is no
immediate burning issue or amped up emotions. Check out these tips on avoiding power
struggles.
Validate feelings. Make sure your teen knows that being angry is okay. It is not okay to fly
off the handle, throw things, swear, or threaten. Talk about more appropriate and respectful
ways to handle and manage big feelings like anger.
Be an emotion coach. When things escalate, remember that you are your teen's primary
emotion coach - learning how to handle disappointment and anger is part of growing up.
Be clear. Be very specific about what behaviors you will accept. Our kids need to know that
they step over an important line when they call us names, scream, swear, threaten or throw
and break things.

Formalize it. Consider creating a formal "Respect Plan" together that lays out a roadmap for
respectful behavior. Start by writing down the goal (for example: to treat one another with
respect) and then generate the behaviors that are out-of-bounds (for example: hitting,
throwing things, or name calling). Make sure that you also write down what the reward will be
if the goal is met for a specific number of days and appropriate consequences if not.
Draw the line. We should never let our kids get what they want if they can't respect
themselves and others. Conversations should end, for example, if out-of-control behavior
starts. Make sure to come back to the conversation once your child is under control again.
Remind your kids that respectful behavior is a prerequisite to negotiation.
Teach kids about their brains. Explain to them that they need to practice strategies to avoid
letting their brain get hijacked by anger. I explain this in detail in my book on adolescents,
Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen.
Click here to read the article in full.

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You Make the Difference!

Our school survives because of your generosity. Thank you for your help. If you would
like to donate to the school go to ihmsnh.org or call (603)239-6495. We are a non-profit
501c(3) organization so your donations are tax deductible. Won't you consider giving today?

Sister Mary Josephs Puzzle Corner

The head of an animal preserve in Africa decided to take count of the tigers and ostriches he
had in the park. He did this by counting the number of legs and heads of these animals. He
ended up with 35 heads and 78 legs. Do you know how many lions there were and how many
ostriches?

The Solution to Last Month's Puzzle:

This will test your ability to see patterns. You must add three additional letters to each
series of letters. Each letter, in each group, is the first letter of a word. Each group of letters
has something in common. Can you find the pattern? You have five minutes to solve this test.
Go!
1. O, T, T, F, F. . .
2. S, M, T, W, T. . .
3. D, N, O, S, A. . .
4.
Solution:
1. S, S, E. (The first letter of numbers one through eight)
2. F, S, S. (The days of the week)
3. J, J, M. (The months of the year backwards)

Immaculate Heart of Mary School

95 Fay Martin Rd.
Richmond, NH 03470
Tel: 603-239-6495
Fax: 603-239-4502
ihmschool@catholicism.org