How to Start [and End] a Conversation

By Tyler Tervooren Subscribe to updates here.

The problem: We all want to be social, make friends, and develop good people skills, but we cant predict how people will
react to us, so we avoid interaction altogether.
The solution: There are a number of subtle tactics you can use to identify how someone will react to you and tricks you can use
to carry a conversation or end it whenever you want to.
As far as I know, the only way to get good at being human is to talk to more of them. Social success depends on it. The more
connections you make, the more the world opens up and, consequently, the better you typically feel about yourself.
But damn it if talking to strangers isnt hard. Especially strangers who, as far as you know, would rather push you down a flight
of stairs than give you the time of day.
In an act of self-defense, you close yourself off. Its a reaction to the increasingly crowded world around us. Anyone whos been
to NYC can tell you that New Yorkers are the best in the world at pretending like other people dont exist. Thats how you get
through the day there without succumbing to sensory overload.
But if you go too far, you miss out on the great things that making new connections have to offer. What you need is some type
of system that removes some uncertainty from the scenario. You need a way to get into conversations that you want, out of ones
you dont, and carry on the ones that show some promise.

Split-testing Your Social Skills

Earlier this year I started a small project called Profiles of Risk where I would walk around cities I was visiting and ask
strangers to stop and answer a few questions about risk-taking on camera.
Its a fun project and I plan to do more in time, but when I shot the first batch of interviews right here in my hometown of
Portland, it was highly uncomfortable; flagging down someone and asking them to stand in front of your video camera is not
necessarily the most enticing request to receive from a stranger.
A lot of people ignored me. A lot of people said no. One lady even told me, quite plainly, to leave her alone.
Theres no way around it. When someone tells you to leave her alone, its pretty embarrassing.
But after awhile, I started getting better. I learned how people liked to be approachedfrom the side rather than head onand
what kind of things I could say to keep their stranger alarm from soundinga direct request followed by an explanation rather
than a lot of beating around the bush. I tested lots of little tricks and, as I saw them work or fail, Id keep or drop them.
Pretty soon, almost no one ignored me, fewer people said no, and Id completely eliminated the problem of coming
across as a pitchman.
It was great, but then I ran into a new problem. Sometimes, the people Id engage would either turn out to be boring, incredibly
longwinded, or assholes in disguise. Id gotten pretty good at engaging people in conversation, but now I needed a way to get
out!
So I started testing that process, too, and developed a few techniques. After just one long day of filming, I had a pretty good
model to work from that could both get me into a conversation with a stranger and out of it if needed.
What I ended up with is a sort of four-part process to reference anytime I wanted a new interview for my video seriesfour
questions I can ask myself to start and then lead a conversation so that its a good experience for both of us.
Today, I use it everywherein line at the grocery store, at a party, waiting for the bus. Im a lot more sociable now, and its
been a great experience for me. Heres how it works.

Question #1: Do I Actually Want to Talk to You?

Talking to strangers is great, and you should probably try to do more of it, but theres also an argument to be made for being a
little selective. If the object is to have more good conversations and less awkward ones, then its a good idea to ask yourself a
few questions before you start a dialogue to make sure it doesnt turn into an uncomfortable monologue.
1. Do they show any signs of openness?
Body language says a lot about a person and you can get a good feeling of whether theyre open to being approached by how
they carry themselves.
Where do their eyes go as they walk or stand? If they gaze around or look up to the sky, theyre probably open to being
interrupted. If theyre fixed mostly on the ground, this probably means theyre more closed off.
Hows their general posture? Is it open and inviting or do they slouch a little? Slouching can mean youre not so comfortable
and less open to distraction.
What are their facial expressions saying? Furrowed brow? Detectable smile? Are their hands in their pockets (closed off) or out
and visible (open)?
2. Is there a way out?
When youre approaching someone for the first time, its uncomfortable. If theres an easy out, then its less threatening for
everyone involved. A conversation in a short line at the grocery store or a quick ride in the elevator is a good example. You
have a captive audience, but not for very long. If something goes wrongyou get rejected or the person turns out to be rather
unappealingall bets are off after just a minute.
Keep in mind, though, that its hard to learn anything significant in these very low-risk situations. To become a skilled
conversationalist, eventually you have to start taking some bigger chances.

Question #2: How Do I Open the Dialogue?

Do you have an objective? Theres nothing wrong with a little trivial conversation, but its harder to start than one that has an
obvious purpose. When someone approaches you, whats the first thing you think?
What do they want from me?

If there isnt an obvious answer, you get uncomfortable and a little suspicious. If the purpose of the interjection isor at least
appears to beclear from the get go, we put our guard down.
If you just want to have a conversation, you dont need any kind of elaborate plan, but to break the ice its good to start off with
an objective the other person can easily understand. Where you go from there is up to you.
So how do you do that? There are a few good ways.
1. Do you share an obvious commonality?
Are you wearing the same pair of shoes? Have the same color car? Waiting for the same bus? This can be incredibly trivial. It
doesnt matter what it is and, in fact, the more meaningless it is, the easier it is to at least get a response that can open a
dialogue.
Obviously, this does come with a limit. I see were both wearing pants is unlikely to go far. Everyone wears pantswell,
almost everyoneand its unlikely to reveal anything else. The same pair of shoes, however, can say quite a lot. It says you
have a similar taste in fashion even if the shoes youre wearing arent that uncommon.
I see you have good taste in shoes. What are the odds? Pretty high I guess. Oh well. Im Tyler, whats your name?
2. Is there an elephant in the room?
This is the easiest way to start a conversation with just about anyone. If youre in a situation where everyone is thinking the
same thing, but no one is saying it, you can have a roaring conversation going in just a few seconds by stating the obvious.
A few years ago I was in line at the grocery store when the woman in font of me started making a scene about a coupon that
didnt get scanned properly. She was yelling and cursing and stomping; it was ridiculous. Her daughter ran and hid behind the
end of the check-out counter as if to say, Oh no, Moms at it again.
I turned around to a few other people in line and said, How embarrassed do you think that little girl is right now? Everyone
had something to say about that. That moment of conversation also gave us the courage to let the woman know it was time to
settle down and move on with life. I ended up standing in the parking lot for ten minutes sharing a laugh with one of the ladies
in line with me.
3. Can you get them to start the conversation?
If theres something obvious to be talked about, sometimes it can be fun to use your own body languagefacial expressions,
hand gestures, postureto encourage someone else to start talking. This is one of my favorite techniques to use when
negotiating. Of course, in most aspects of life, its better to just be direct. If you want to talk to someone, its your job to start.

Question 3: How do I Keep the Conversation Flowing?

Assuming that 1) someone opened up to you and 2) you actually want to keep it that way, your next challenge is to keep things
flowing. Youve built momentum and you dont want to lose it. This is actually fairly easy as long as you keep a few things in
mind and you arent bothered by feeling at least a little bit silly.
The best thing to remember at this stage is that youre talking to someone brand new and neither of you are expecting to make
any sort of deep discovery or connection. Random small talk feels silly, but it can save a conversation.
1. Are you asking questions or making statements?
Any time youre ready to turn the pedestal over, make sure you end your piece in a question. It doesnt have to literally end with
a question mark, but you want to make sure youre conveying to the other person that youre ready for them to start talking. If
you dont awkward silence is the typical result.
And dont just end with a question; make it an easy one. If they have to think too hard about what to say next, youll demotivate them to keep things going. Try to stay away from closed questions (yes/no), and shoot for ones that require at least a
little bit of explanation.
2. Are you talking less than 20% of the time?
In the words of Dale Carnegie, author of the classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, No sound is sweeter to a man
than that of his own voice.
Live by this rule. If you want someone to like you, give him as many opportunities as possible to talk about himself. This is easy
to do and actually quite enjoyable if youre a naturally curious person.

Question #4: How do I End This Nightmare?

Ending a conversation when things are going great is easy. You simply stop, thank them for a great conversation and ask
for/offer them some form of contact info so you can do it again.
Ending a conversation when the train has fallen off the track is a little more difficult, especially if the other person has enjoyed it
more than you. Still, there are few tactful things you can do to dismiss yourself from an exchange gone south quickly without
doing too much damage.
Remember that the number #1 key in any exit strategy is to act quickly and decisively in order to avoid the dreaded awkward
silence at the end of a conversation.
1. Enact the natural expiration.
If you followed the rule in question #1 by making sure there was an understood and arbitrary ending point for your exchange
like there would be waiting in a short line somewhere, then when it comes you simply say, Well, it was nice to meet you. I
hope you enjoy the rest of your day. Then you turn and walk away without looking back.
Youve just escaped and theres no animosity because it was always understood that the end of the line would likely be the end
of the conversation as well.
2. Capitalize on a lull in energy.

This one takes some practice, and youll rarely get it on your first try, but the trick is to end the conversation during a natural
lull, just before the break in silence turns awkward. This is hard because both of you will be fighting to avoid it, and if you dont
have a good exit statement lined up, you might say something that extends it rather than ends it.
Keep in mind that, due to the sunk cost fallacy, the longer you stay in a conversation, the more youll feel obligated to keep it
going. This is why its important to pay attention early on and look for an out as soon as you lose excitement for the
conversation. Dont wait too long!
I meet a lot of new people, usually in captive settings where an appointment was made via email. For a situation like this, I
always try to make it clear that the meeting will be 1 hour and then I have another obligation (usually true). This way, no matter
how the meeting goes, theres a natural end to it. And if it went well, then we can schedule another one later on.

Advice from Twitter

I also asked a few thousand of my closest friends on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+ for their advice. Heres what some of you
had to say:
I usually give a compliment on clothes/shoes etc or just a comment on the situation were in, i.e. long line, on train etc
@LFroment
A smile always works nicely. Im partial to Excuse me, which may be a sign Im more Southern that I thought
@soloconsulting
Ask if they know any good restaurants around. Preface with Im new here. Could also ask directions. Or just say hi
@_Scott_Dinsmore
Does this look infected to you? @graceface
Ask them about the area they live in. @NigeHill
Well, my 3 year old goes up to random people and says, Hi! #toddlerwisdom @dustiarab
I comment on their good energy then ask what was the best part of your day so far? @joychristin
Hi + situational Im not a good enough actor to use anything else @KarolGajda
Ask a question based on something you observe with them: thats a nice hat, where did you get it?, you seem like you know
something about (whatever) can you tell me about it? Magnus Petersen-Paaske
Usually a joke cuts the barrier (a funny one preferably) then an introduction. Keith E. Daugherty
I also asked for a few ways to end a conversation
Good talking with you, Ive gotta dash. Or, excuse me, Ive got to talk with so and so about blah blah blah. Mary Jacobs
Start screaming, SNAKES as loud as you can while simultaneously running away, flapping your arms as if removing invisible
serpents from your body. Works every time. It also has the beneficial side effect of having them not want to engage in the
future. Patrick Ray
Just say I would like to end this conversation then stare at them in the eyes until they turn around and walk away Joel
Runyon
Id love to stay here and talk, but Im not going to. Cheryl Breuer

13 Rules for Being Alone and Being Happy About It

By Tyler Tervooren Subscribe to updates here.
As you read this, Im flying back to The U.S. from China. Alone. While I was there, I ran a marathon. Alone. I stayed in a hotel
room alone (mostly). I wandered around Beijing alone. I sat down to eat at the local restaurants alone.
This is normal for me.
Sometimes, people ask, Tyler, wouldnt you have more fun traveling if you had someone to go with?
And my answer is always both yes and no.
Traveling with a friend or someone close can be a really rewarding experience. You dont truly know someone until you travel
with them, and getting to know someone like that can be a lot of fun (or not!).
But I have just as much fun traveling alone. Its a different experience, but no less enjoyable. When I travel alone, what I learn
about is myself. I learn about my own strengths, and I learn about my own weaknesses and insecurities. Ive never come home
from a trip feeling anything less than a better, stronger person.
Traveling isnt the only time being alone is a valuable experience. It can be powerful in any aspect of life.

The World As An Introvert

It seems todayat least in the U.S.there must be something wrong with you if youre alone. We praise the extrovertsthose
who know how to handle themselves in a crowd, the ones with vast network of friends. We think working in groups and on
teams is the only way to find the answer to a problem. That two heads are better than one. That collaboration is the only way of
the future.
But the truth is almost half of the world doesnt agree. I dont feel that way. Sometimes, the rhetoric gets so loud I wonder
whats wrong with me when I dont feel like going to parties, or working on big teams, or being the center of attention.
I see my friends going out and wonder whats wrong with me when I want to stay in. I see them collaborating on business
projects together, and wonder if theres something wrong with me because I prefer to work alone.
But theres nothing wrong with me. Im an introvert. And, according to some statistics, theres about a 50% chance that you are,
too.
If youre an introvert, welcome to the club. There arent any meetings because we prefer to work alone, but you can at least take
some solace in knowing youre not the only one who feels the way you do.
For me, being an introvert doesnt mean I dont enjoy going out or having friends or being the center of attention once in a
while. It only means that its not where I get the most value from my life.

Being turned on and in social mode is fun for me, but I can only take it in limited quantities. When I organize an event, I
purposefully leave my calendar empty the next day because I know Ill need to rest and recover.
If Im working on a team, dont ask me to brainstormI wont come up with anything useful. But if you leave me alone to
think awhile, you might be surprised at what I accomplish.
If you want me to come out with you and your friends, invite me somewhere quiet where we can talk. I get value from my
relationships by getting to know you much more than just being around you.
And if youre an extrovert, dont assume theres no value in this for you. In the same way I can enjoy myself in a big group, you
may find you can also enjoy yourself all by yourself. There is great value in being alone. And handling it well is a beautiful
thing.
At the very least, its a useful life skill. You cant always control when there will be someone there for you, so being able to
happily conduct yourself alone is an important part of being alive.

13 Rules For Being Alone And Being Happy About It

The following are 13 rules I try to live by when it comes to being alone. They add enormous value to my life.
Whether youre an introvert trying to make your way in an extroverts world, or an extrovert learning to become better at being
on your own, I hope they add some value to your life as well.

1. Understand youre good enough all by yourself.

Youre a valuable person, and you dont need the approval of anyone else for that to be true. When youre alone, remind
yourself that its because you choose to be. It really is a choice.
Its very easy to find someone to spend time with, but when you have high standards for the people you allow into your life,
youre telling yourself that youre better off by yourself than with someone who isnt a great fit for you.

2. Value others opinions, but value your own more.

Dont ask for advice unless you truly need it. Instead, ask yourself for advice. If you knew the answer to the problem that you
have, what would it be?
Thats your answer. The more time you spend asking yourself for advice, the less you start to need input from others. When you
trust yourself to solve problems, you become a much stronger and more confident person, and you take on challenges that you
wouldnt have felt capable of before.

3. Learn to be an observer.
Ive always held the belief that if you arent able to take interest in something, it says more about you than whatever it is you
find uninteresting.
To truly enjoy being alone, learn to look at ordinary situations in new and unfamiliar ways. Go to the park and watch people
play with their children or their dogs. Go to the grocery store and watch how people shop for their groceries.
Everywhere you go, make an effort to understand the other people around you. Learning how people operate when they think no
one is watching will make you feel more connected to them.

4. Close your eyes in a dark room and appreciate the silence.

The world is a busy place and, unless you take a moment to step away from it once in a while, its easy to forget how nice it is to
simply sit alone and enjoy your own company.
Take a moment and sit quietly in a dark room. Listen to everything that is not happening around you. You can learn a lot about
yourself in the moments when youre least occupiedthe times when there is nothing to distract you from the thoughts and
feelings you deny yourself during your busy days.

5. Learn how to talk to yourself.

They say its perfectly normal to talk to yourself; youre only crazy if you talk back.
Every single person has an inner voice that talks to them at all hours of all days, and getting to know that person and how to talk
to them is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
When you fill your time with other people, its easier to ignore this voice, but when youre alone, its your only company. This
voice rubs off on you. It is you. The way that you talk to yourself when no one else is around will shape who you are in this
world more than anything else.
Just like youd distance yourself from negative friends who bring you down, its just as important to distance yourself from a
negative inner voice.
When youre alone, it can sometimes be hard to stay positive, but you must be kind to yourself.

6. Cherish every interaction.

Most people have to experience some type of tragedy before they begin to understand just how brief our time here is. You get
but a few short trips around the sun, and then its over.
Time alone is important. Time alone is beautiful. But so is time spent with others.
There is no such thing as a boring person. There is no such thing as a boring situation. If youre ever bored, its because youre
not paying attention. This is a problem with you, not with your surroundings.
Take an interest in every person that comes into your life, even if for only a second. Listen closely to what they say. Watch
carefully what they do. Try to understand them as a person. Youll be better for it.

7. Rearrange your furniture.

When youre alone, its easy to fall into a pattern. Its easy to stagnate and feel as if things rarely change. And when youre
alone, this is truethings rarely do change unless you make a conscious effort to change them.
The problem is that meaningful change is hard, and whats hard rarely gets started. To keep things moving, you have to keep
things fresh. And to keep things fresh, its best to look for small wins that can lead to bigger ones.

Rearranging your furniture is meaningless by itself, but it brings new life to a dull routine, which is easy to fall prey to when
youre spending a lot of time alone.

8. Avoid mindless consumption.

When youre alone, you have an incredible opportunity to think clearly about your life and the direction you want to take it. In a
world thats often filled with noise, youve been given quiet. This is a time to reaffirm the path that your life is on.
Are you happy and fulfilled? Should you keep doing what youre doing? Or, are you feeling unsatisfied? Should you change
something?
These are questions you can only answer when you take advantage of this gift of quiet. If, instead, you fill your time with
entertainment that you mindlessly consumeTV, movies, randomly surfing the webit will be difficult to answer these
questions. You can never devote enough attention to coming to a clear answer.

9. Create, create, create.

To create is one of the most important things you can do in your life. To create among a sea of people (or even just one person)
vying for your attention is one of the most difficult things in life.
When youre alone, the only one stopping you from creating the art, the work, that youre capable of is yourself. All excuses are
gone. When youre alone, you can lose yourself in your work. When you lose yourself in your work, you can be sure that youre
creating something truly meaningful.
Your other option is to ignore that call to create and, instead, look for temporary comfort in things and people who will
eventually leave you unfulfilled. Make use of your loneliness.

10. Make plans for the future, and pursue them immediately.
Its almost impossible to feel good about your life if you dont have some type of direction for it. When you meet someone, its
usually quite easy to see if they have a handle on their life and are happy, or if theyre wandering without aim, looking for
something to pursue.
The purpose for your life doesnt need to be complex or earth shattering. It doesnt have to be big or overwhelming. It only
needs to be present. Once its there, it gets much easier to make plans you can take action on.
Pursue these plans immediately. Dont put them off. Dont wait for the perfect opportunity. Perfect never comes, and the longer
you wait, the harder it is to get started.
Maybe you want to travel the world and understand different cultures. Maybe you want to build a massive stamp collection. It
doesnt matter what it ispick something you enjoy and go after it.
When you do this, two things happen. First, you gain a sense of confidence in yourself because you see that youre capable of
living on your own terms. Second, this confidence brings new and interesting people into your life.
Being alone can be beautiful, but if you want to add people to your life, finding a purpose for your existence is the fastest way to
do it.

11. Go to a movie alone.

Get used to doing things alone that society says is made for two. Go to a movie by yourself and enjoy the picture. Have a great
dinner out all by yourself. Take yourself on dates, and learn to treat yourself well.
This will be awkward at first. If youre used to going out with others, youll wonder what you should do with yourself while
youre alone. Dont try to hide from the discomfort. Accept it. And then laugh about it because, really, who the hell decided that
you werent supposed to do these things alone?
Besides, to truly enjoy these things with others, you have to learn to enjoy them alone first.

12. Pursue an impractical project.

When you work on a team, the pressure to conform is great. You always have to think about the others in your group and
regularly make compromises so that the end result is acceptable to everyone.
In my opinion, this is a terrible way to do something important and personally meaningful.
When youre alone, youre free to pursue any kind of project you want in your life. You have the freedom to be completely
selfish and make no compromises about what you do or how you do it.
Take advantage of this freedom! An important part of life is doing things that look unwise or impractical to others. Do
something thats completely over your head. Start something that you dont know how to finish.
Think of the wildest thing youve ever wanted to do, then take one small step towards realizing it.
If youre afraid, understand that this doesnt have to be your whole life. You can contain it to just a small part. In the piece of
your life that you set aside, never, ever allow anyone elses advice or opinions to direct how you work.
This is something you do alone, for the benefit of no one but yourself.

13. Volunteer your time.

If youre a hermit when youre alone, find others that you can be alone around. A great way to do thisand to contribute
something positive to the worldis to volunteer your time to a cause you believe in.
Being alone and happy doesnt mean sequestering yourself from the world. It means being confident enough to know that you
can surround yourself with people, but not depend on them for your own happiness.
And one good way to get started is to surround yourself with good peoplethe kind youll find when you give your time to a
cause thats important to you.

99 Quotes About Risk to Inspire You to Great Things

Throughout the ages, many have tried to put into words exactly what risk is and what it means to them. Some have been more
successful than otherscutting to the heart of the matter, appealing to sensibility, or just putting an idea thats difficult to
explain into words we all can understand.
Today, I want to share 99 quotes that have had the greatest impact on me and how I think about the concept of risk.
Im a big fan of quotes because they have the greatest signal to noise ratio of nearly any communication. For better or worse, a
quote has the power to take a persons whole life and boil it down to one searing passage for us to remember.
And now Ill get out of the way and let the words speak for themselves. I hope they have as profound an effect on you as they
have on me.
Dont listen to those who say you taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would
surely be rubbed out by today. Most important, dont listen when the little voice of fear inside you rears its ugly head and says
they all smarter than you out there. Theyre more talented, theyre taller, blonder, prettier, luckier, and they have connections.
I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others,
but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own effortsand do not make success or failure the
criteria by which you livethe chances are youll be a person worthy of your own respects. Neil Simon
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for theres no risk of accident for someone whos dead. Albert Einstein
Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much you are rewarded, or how much power you have.
Oprah Winfrey
No man is worth his salt who is not ready at all times to risk his well-being, to risk his body, to risk his life in a great cause.
Theodore Roosevelt
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. T. S. Eliot
If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary. Jim Rohn
Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human
spirit. e. e. cummings
The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. Chuck Palahniuk
It seems to be a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win. John Paul Jones
You can measure opportunity with the same yardstick that measures the risk involved. They go together. Earl Nightingale
Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing. Denis
Waitley
It is better to risk starving to death then surrender. If you give up on your dreams, whats left? Jim Carrey
Decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free. Paul Tillich
I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at
the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. Audre Lorde
The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. Maimonides
It is better by noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half the evils we anticipate than to remain in cowardly
listlessness for fear of what might happen. Herodotus

If we listened to our intellect, wed never have a love affair. Wed never have a friendship. Wed never go into business because
wed be too cynical. Well, thats nonsense. Youve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.
Annie Dillard
Theres something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself. Risk. Drew Barrymore
You dont concentrate on risks. You concentrate on results. No risk is too great to prevent the necessary job from getting done.
Chuck Yeager
Every man has the right to risk his own life in order to preserve it. Has it ever been said that a man who throws himself out the
window to escape from a fire is guilty of suicide? Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Creative people who cant help but explore other mental territories are at greater risk, just as someone who climbs a mountain is
more at risk than someone who just walks along a village lane. R. D. Laing
Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at
himself does not. Vaclav Havel
Often the difference between a successful man and a failure is not ones better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to
bet on his ideaa, to take a calculated risk, and to act. Maxwell Maltz
There can be no vulnerability without risk. There can be no community without vulnerability. There can be no peace, and
ultimately no life, without community. M. Scott Peck
In battle it is the cowards who run the most risk; bravery is a rampart of defense. Sallust
Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can and surely will at times fail. Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed or
risking love, can be terrifying, too. I think we should follow a simple rule: if we can take the worst, take the risk. Joyce
Brothers
To win without risk is to triumph without glory. Pierre Corneille
You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.You cant get there by bus, only by hard
work and risk and by not quite knowing what youre doing. What youll discover will be wonderful. What youll discover will
be yourself. Alan Alda
Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
Walter Anderson
Creative risk-taking is essential to success in any goal where the stakes are high. Thoughtless risks are destructive, of course, but
perhaps even more wasteful is thoughtless caution which prompts inaction and promotes failure to seize opportunity. Gary
Ryan Blair
What I tell these young people is, the world is not as dangerous as the older generation would like you to believe. Anyone I
know who has ever taken a risk and lost a job has ended up getting a better one two years later. Jonathan Kozol
The refusal to rest contentthe willingness to risk excess on behalf of ones obsessionsis what distinguishes artists from
entertainers and what makes some artists adventurers on behalf of us all. John Updike
The principle element in a performance is risk, and if youre losing interest then by scaring yourself to death the audience will
feel it and boy itll wake them up. Leo Kottke
Because if youre prepared and you know what it takes, its not a risk. You just have to figure out how to get there. There is
always a way to get there. Mark Cuban
Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for
yourself. Face the truth. Katherine Mansfield

The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important battle decision. Thats the time to listen to every fear you
can imagine! When you have collected all the facts and fears and made your decision, turn off all your fears and go ahead!
General George S. Patton
Youve got to keep fighting; youve got to risk your life every six months to stay alive. Elia Kazan
You must accept that you might fail; then, if you do your best and still dont win, at least you can be satisfied that youve tried.
If you dont accept failure as a possibility, you dont set high goals, you dont branch out, you dont try, you dont take the risk.
Rosalynn Carter
Many a man is praised for his reserve and so-called shyness when he is simply too proud to risk making a fool of himself. J.
B. Priestley
Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alivethe risk to be alive and express what we
really are. Miguel Angel Ruiz
When you play it too safe, youre taking the biggest risk of your life. Time is the only wealth were given. Barbara Sher
If my ego was out of whack and I believed I could carry anything off, that would be a stupid risk. But so far theres been no
reason not to try anything. Kathleen Turner
Everyone has a risk muscle. You keep it in shape by trying new things. If you dont, it atrophies. Make a point of using it at
least once a day. Roger von Oech
You have to be able to risk your identity for a bigger future than the present you are living. Fernando Flores
Im of the mind that life is a risk. Every time you leave your house its a risk, and I see no reason to go through life with my
hands tied behind my back for any reason. Id be foolish to let something stop me from doing what I love to do. Thomas Jane
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. Leo F. Buscaglia
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. Andre Gide
It seems to me that people have vast potential. Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the
risks. Yet most people dont. They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever. Philip Adams
Its not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. Its because we dare not venture that they are difficult. Seneca
He who risks and fails can be forgiven. He who never risks and never fails is a failure in his whole being. Paul Tillich
It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. William James
Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she
wont suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart
Paulo Coelho
Yes, risk-taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking. Jim McMahon
People who dont take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two
big mistakes a year. Peter F. Drucker
If a man isnt willing to take some risk for his opinions, either his opinions are no good or hes no good. Ezra Pound
You must lose a fly to catch a trout. George Herbert
One hour of life, crowded to the full with glorious action and filled with noble risks, is worth whole years of those mean
observances of paltry decorum. Sir Walter Scott

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding
danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Helen Keller
I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. Pablo Picasso
Dont be afraid to take a big step. You cant cross a chasm in two small jumps. David Lloyd George
Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone elses. Billy Wilder
The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety. Goethe
A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he has done.
Cardinal Newman
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didnt do than by the ones you did. So throw off the
bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain
Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers. Mignon McLaughlin
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the
better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the
dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Dont refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase; thats what wild geese are for. Henry S. Haskins
To dare is to lose ones footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself. Soren Kierkegaard
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like
the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap. Cynthia Heimel
Many great ideas have been lost because the people who had them could not stand being laughed at. Unknown
I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. G.K. Chesterton
A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are for. John A. Shedd
This nation was built by men who took riskspioneers who were not afraid of the wilderness, businessmen who were not afraid
of failure, scientists who were not afraid of the truth, thinkers who were not afraid of progress, dreamers who were not afraid of
action. Brooks Atkinson
The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet. Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield
Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you,
too, can become great. Mark Twain
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. Robert Frost
I guess what Im trying to say is I dont think you can measure life in terms of years. I think longevity doesnt necessarily have
anything to do with happiness. I mean happiness comes from facing challenges and going out on a limb and taking risks. If
youre not willing to take a risk for something you really care about, you might as well be dead. Diane Frolov
To be a good human being is to have a kind of openness to the worldan ability to trust uncertain things beyond your own
controlthat can lead you to be shattered in very extreme circumstances for which you were not to blame. That says something
very important about the condition of the ethical life: that it is based on a trust in the uncertain and on a willingness to be
exposed; its based on being more like a plant than like a jewelsomething rather fragile, but whose very particular beauty is
inseparable from that fragility. Martha Nussbaum
The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason
for remaining ashore. Vincent van Gogh

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. G. K.
Chesterton
The most important thing to remember is this: to be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become.
W. E. B. Du Bois
The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossibleand achieve it, generation after
generation. Pearl S. Buck
People wish to be settled: only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whenever I prepare for a journey I prepare as though for death. Should I never return, all is in order. Katherine Mansfield
Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it
to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to
win them. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Play the game for more than you can afford to lose only then will you learn the game. Winston Churchill
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. James B. Conant
When you are in any contest, you should work as if there wereto the very last minutea chance to lose it. This is battle, this
is politics, this is anything. Dwight D. Eisenhower
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. T. S. Eliot
I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I am not afraid of falling into my inkpot. Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you never budge, dont expect a push. Malcolm S. Forbes
Without the element of uncertaintythe bringing off of eventhe greatest triumph would be dull, routine, and eminently
unsatisfying. J. Paul Getty
It is true that when we take chances, we stand to lose. But it is also true that we will never win anything if we never even enter
the game. Lucky people are aware of the possibility of losing, and indeed they may lose often. But since the chances they take
are small, the losses tend to be small. By being willing to accept small losses they put themselves in position to make large
gains. Max Gunther
It is better to be boldly decisive and risk being wrong than to agonize at length and be right too late. Marilyn Moats Kennedy
Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more
than others think is possible. Cadet Maxim
How does one become a butterfly? she asked pensively. You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a
caterpillar. Trina Paulus
It is not the critic who counts. Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have
done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who
strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends
himself in a worthy cause. Whoat the bestknows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and whoat the worstat
least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt
Somebody must take a chance. There are monkeys who became men, and the monkeys who didnt are still jumping around in
trees making faces at the monkeys who did. Lincoln Steffens
If you want to stand out, dont be different. Be outstanding. Meredith West