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Date: May 2009
How To Take Things Sexual and Avoid Let's Just Be Friends
Hey guysRecently we had a mini-seminar in which we took questions from the Love Systems community. One of the very common themes was how to make things physical. I’m really glad that came up – it’s a subject that resonates a lot with me. From the time I was in high school until I discovered Love Systems, I was the king of “Let’s Just be Friends.” I was either the greatest potential friend on the planet... or women found me nice enough but not sexually desirable. Since not all that many of these women followed up “Let’s Just Be Friends” with friendly invitations to come around to parties and meet their hot friends any contact at all, I’m going to have to go with door #2. A lot of this comes down to SEXUALIZATION. That was one of the confirmed gaps in the old Mystery Method Corp M3 model. The M3 model was good for emotional progression, but didn’t quite nail the physical or logistical side – although of course we patched it up and retrofitted it enough that it was still the best system for attracting and dating beautiful women. The new Love Systems Triad model actually solves this from the start – AND goes much further. By combining Emotional, Physical, and Logistical progression, not only are certain pitfalls so much more obvious and easy to avoid (like Let’s Just be Friends), but a whole secondgeneration level of insight and shortcuts is unlocked. Just a couple examples: • • • How far is too far to go emotionally before you get at least to “Romantic Touch.” When your physical progress means you already have emotional attraction – even if she hasn’t said a single positive thing to you. Why Let’s Just Be Friends Happens.
Quoting directly from the Love Systems Triad Model: Emotional Progression without Physical Progression = Let’s Just Be Friends We’ve been teaching and testing the Love Systems Triad in bootcamps and with advanced students for the past year with amazing results. We finally decided to release it to the broader Love Systems community as part of the long-awaited Love Systems Routines Manual Volume 2. Anyway, now that we have this structure in place, it’s a lot easier to explain some more advanced techniques... ... and that’s why this month’s interview series (and this newsletter) is on sexualization.
We wanted to use the new powerful model as a vehicle for some of our breakthroughs over the past two years. And so we brought on one of the world’s greatest experts at “turning it sexual:”
Braddock: A senior Love Systems instructor and co-creator of the Love Systems Social Circle Mastery and Inner Game programs. Braddock is especially well known for being a hick from Oklahoma using humor, banter, role-plays, and rapid verbal and physical escalation to succeed with women. He’s also a master of phone and text game and has a great blog.
Alright, let’s get into some News You Can Use before coming back to how it all fits together. We’ll start with just three of the many sexualization techniques covered in the interview.
Sexualization Technique #1: “Baiting” After there’s a bit of mutual attraction, start throwing out low-level “bait” to see if she bites. A good baiting statement should be light and playful, and usually ambiguous. For example, I use baiting to test whether a woman has a sexual vibe, especially a sexually submissive vibe (if you can lock onto that and know the next few steps, you can play that situation like a violin). So, when I find something I could (playfully) react to, I can say: “You really need to be put in your place.”
There’s a certain look a woman will give you if you do that right (and if she’s the right girl to begin with). It’s like you gave her the secret handshake. She’ll look back at you for a couple of seconds, wondering if you “get it” or if you just accidentally stumbled on the right words. When she does this, hold eye contact, and don’t react. Wait for her to say the next thing. In the interview, they reveal a “bait” line to use the first time you're giving a woman a tour of your house. Toward the end, casually point at a closed door and jokingly say, “that’s the stairs down to the dungeon in the basement.” Some women will be intrigued and make a sexual comment in return. Others won’t – but you don’t lose any ground with them because it’s an ambiguous statement that could be taken in many different ways. “Baiting” is how women flirt too, so be on the lookout for things she might be “joking” about or things that could have a double meaning. WARNING: As plenty of mice, rats, and fish know, going after the bait may not always be a good idea. Sometimes a woman will say something sexual to you to see how you’ll react... but you fail if you do. This is a whole different subject – to learn how to handle every test, check out Soul on handling tests.
Sexualization Technique #2: Role-plays Role-plays are great because they give you the freedom to enter territory that might be harder or inappropriate to enter “on the level.” This applies to anything, not just sexualization. For example, I often tell a woman I’ve recently met that she’s amazing and fun and I’m going to take her around the world with me packed in my suitcase. She’ll usually laugh and respond in the context of the role play – like “only if the suitcase goes first class.” Further conversation jokingly planning our trip still makes her feel some of the emotions that she’d get when thinking about traveling the world with someone she likes. (Cajun and Tenmagnet are also masters at this and did a great interview on Role-Plays a few months ago.) One of Braddock’s great techniques that he goes into a lot of detail on in the interview is roleplaying that the relationship is ALREADY sexual. Tell her you were a sweet innocent guy before she tore your virginity away from you.
The key with role-plays is that they be “over-the-top.” Unlike bait, you want to remove the ambiguity over whether or not you’re serious. You can even make this more advanced and frame her as the aggressor. Let’s say you and her have a sexual conversation going. Then, all of a sudden you take Braddock’s line (from the interview) “Whoa... slow down... before you started seducing me three times a day, I was a virgin boy from Oklahoma, remember?”
Sexualization Technique #3: False Barriers This is a killer technique revealed on the interview. If you create false barriers why the two of you can’t have sex, her inclination will be to knock those down. For example: “We can’t have mad, passionate toe-curling sex all night... even though it would be fun, don’t get me wrong... because I bet you’re a bad kisser / you seem like a really ‘nice’ girl and we should find you a ‘nice’ sweet guy / etc.“ Now, if you’re going to be challenging about it (e.g., she’s a “bad kisser”) make sure you’re obviously teasing and you’ve already given her some compliments. (That means you’re already past the Qualification stage of the Emotional Progression Model.) And it should go without saying, but you definitely should never tease her or be challenging about something physical the two of you have already done. Another example: “It’s a shame I don’t know you very well, because you’re very sexy.” There are tons of these examples on the interview, but I really can’t do them justice in text. You have to hear how they’re said and the tonality. Braddock’s “it will be all fights and make up sex” routine made me laugh out loud. Why does this work? Partly because it flips the script. Women are used to being on defense – the guy wants sex, she has the reasons not to, and we’ll see if he gets past them. But, if you’re on defense, her natural inclination will be to go on offense (especially if the barriers are silly but remotely plausible). More importantly, it’s hard to be on offense and
defense at the same time, so while she’s beating down your objections, she won’t have space to bring up her own.
I’m not going to be able to cover everything that’s on the interview – that’s not the point anyway. But, here’s a list of other topics to be thinking about – or if you already have the interview, a good checklist of things to remember: • • • • •
How and when to turn generic compliments sexual. “Short fuse” vs. “Long fuse” girls and how to sexualize with both. Why saying you’re bad in bed can make a girl want you. Why the danger ISN’T going too sexual but IS going sexual too early. How to get a sexualized kiss going even if she won’t make out with you. And lots more. Listen to the first ten minutes of the interview – free.
Learn more from Braddock:
• • • • • •
Check when he is teaching a bootcamp near you Learn about social circle mastery Get rock-solid inner game Read his blog Read his reviews Check out Braddock on Friends with Benefits, Jealousy Plotlines, How To Be An Alpha Male, Sticking Points, Teasing, 9 and 10 Game, Humor, and Issues in Qualification.
Don't get caught in the Let's Just Be Friends zone again. Take care, Savoy http://www.lovesystems.com/dating-advice/how-to-take-things-sexual-and-avoid-lets-just-befriends