Love Systems Insider

From the desk of Savoy

8:45am, Tuesday, January 5th 2010

Savoy Made Your New Year's Resolutions

I made some New Year's Resolutions for you.

That's a pretty arrogant thing to do, so let me explain.

You subscribe to this Love Systems insider (LSi) newsletter because you want to improve your
success with women. Years ago I was in the same boat. When I developed a system that let guys
"date out of their league" I knew I wanted to share it.

While I've been traveling the world meeting and dating beautiful women, I've met thousands
(maybe tens of thousands) of men like you and me - guys who want to make it to "the other
side" and a lifetime of success with beautiful women.

And it got me thinking - what separates the guys who get there quickly from the guys who
muddle along?

I have a lot of experience here, but I didn't want to pre-judge. So, I emailed a few hundred
former Love Systems clients - some of whom are married now, others who are "living the life." I
also emailed a bunch of random people from The Attraction Forums (the main forum for men's
dating advice on the web) as a control group.

And guess what? The keys to success are simpler than I thought. They have nothing to do with
age, looks, money, desire, or anything else like that.

There are 8 things. 8 things that guys who got better quickly did, that other guys didn't. These
aren't specific techniques - you can read my book, Magic Bullets, (known in "the community" as
the "Bible of seduction") for that. They're one level up from that.

And, they make great New Year's Resolutions, so much so that I PERSONALLY guarantee your
results if you do these 8 things and stick with them.

The Only 2010 New Year's Resolutions You'll Need

1. Practice time

"In-field is where you learn. Everything else is just to make your in-field time more productive."
- D.K., Tulsa, OK

In the book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell saw that pretty much anyone who is elite in his field has
put in approximately 10,000 hours of practice time.

Now, he's talking elite like Bill Gates at programming or The Beatles in music. Top Love
Systems instructors are probably around the 10,000 hours mark. You don't need to be anywhere
near that level to have a life full of beautiful women, but you do need to practice.

Think of your skills with women as if they are muscles. If you go to the gym, your muscles
grow. If you don't, they shrink. Your social muscles do the same thing when you use Love
Systems.

How much practice do you need? More is better. In general, a minimum should be at least a few
hours every week.

Can you commit to this?

2. Get good wingmen

"I usually wing with a couple of guys from my bootcamp because I know they're good and they
know their stuff. No offense to the guys I was going out with before but other than the bootcamp
itself, that made the biggest difference to my game."

If you're new, a good wingman motivates / forces you to go out and meet women. He also keeps
you approaching and pushes you through approach anxiety. And you do the same for him.

But it goes way past this...

... a good wingman gives a ton of support to a lot of pickups. A good wingman adds a ton to
social proof, helping you get alone time with the woman you want, influencing end-of-night
logistics (so you go home with the girl), allowing for easy push-pull, disqualification and other
attraction techniques, etc. Some situations are nearly impossible without a good wingman.

My book Magic Bullets has a whole chapter just on how good wingmen should work together,
and my own favorite interview - The Don and Savoy on Advanced Winging - has a bunch of
practical things you can do that will often mean the difference between success and failure.

There are some great techniques in that interview, like reverse winging (why you might want
your wingman to do the initial approach) or the killer line for the end of the night - that only
your wingman can deliver - that will have her going home with you. I strongly recommend this
interview - it's an hour long and only $40:

>> http://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-21-advanced-winging-savoy-the-don

If your friends aren't trainable, then get some pre-trained wingmen. The best place for this is the
Love Systems Lounge (formerly Mystery's Lounge) where pretty much everyone will be
familiar with these advanced techniques. (It's free, but the only way to get in is to successfully
pass a Love Systems bootcamp.)

If you haven't been to a bootcamp yet, then you can also find wingmen on The Attraction
Forums. Here's the address of the wingman section:

>> http://www.theattractionforums.com/meetups-wings/

3. Commit to what you want

"Raising my standards hurt my game at first. I just wanted hot women. When I screened for hot
women who ALSO shared my interests, I got way more success and better quality. That's the
biggest thing that helped me." - P.L., Vancouver, BC

This is the secret of "Qualification." Do it as soon as you see her starting to become attracted.

People value what they have to work for. And beautiful women usually go for high-value men -
men who have their choice of women. By screening her, by making her work, by finding out
more about her than that she's beautiful before showing too much interest, you are telling her
that you are a high-value man.

Like attraction, qualification is easy in theory (screen her, and make her work for it) but there are
a lot of specific tools you can use to get there. For attraction, they're things like Takeaways,
Handling Tests, Humor, Role-plays, Teasing, and so on. For qualification, it's about Small and
Large Hoops, Yes Ladders, Creating and Releasing Tension, etc.

If you don't use any qualification now, here's a basic experiment to get started:

Write down at least 5 specific things you're looking for in a woman. Every time you're talking to
a woman you like, find out if she has these things.

Qualification is such an important subject we covered it twice in the interview series:

By Sinn:

>> http://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-8-qualification-vision-sinn

And by Braddock, Mr M, and Sphinx:

>> http://www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-37-issues-in-qualification-mr-m-braddock-sphinx

And to quickly catch up on where and how qualification fits into the whole pickup, download
the special (and free) report on the Love Systems Triad:

>> http://www.lovesystems.com/triad

4. Be strategic

There's a really silly joke I used to do when I was a kid. When I'd catch an unsuspecting adult
down in the kitchen, I'd sometimes go downstairs, turn on the bright kitchen lights, and pretend
to be looking for something on the floor.

They'd ask me what I was looking for and I'd tell them I'd lost my glasses in my bedroom.

"Well, why aren't you looking for them in your bedroom," they'd ask.
"Because the light is better down here."

And because I was a little kid, the adults had to at least pretend to laugh.

But, adults do the same sort of thing. A recent one-on-one client told me he was looking for a
woman with a career, a healthy lifestyle, and an interest in classical music and the art scene.
Good enough so far. But where does he meet women? Always at big dance clubs only. Why's
that? Because there are lots of women there and it's easier for him.

In other words, the light is better down here.

There's nothing wrong with dance clubs. Bars and clubs are great places to practice, and most
women will go there at least once in a while. But, when your game is going well and you know
exactly what you want, it's time to go find her.

That's when it's time to focus on the best way to intersect with her life, whether it's through Day
Game or Social Circles or just a change of neighborhood.

Don't just go where the lights are brightest...

5. Track your progress

"The advice and feedback I received after my bootcamp from my field reports and questions on
the Love Systems Lounge helped me so much. I don't know if I would have met my wife
otherwise." - O. R., London, UK

You can't manage what you can't measure.

Keep a Love Systems journal so you can learn from your experiences, see patterns, and chart
your progress. A couple of tips here:

• Post "field reports" of your nights out and details from your interactions. If you're on The
Lounge, instructors and other top clients are likely to give their feedback. If you're, not,
there's a very active field reports board on The Attraction Forums. Be detailed and
specific enough that people can help. Read other peoples' field reports for examples and
for ideas when you're there.
 • 75% of the value of posting a field report is from working through all of the issues in
your own head. So, don't skip over complicated parts or failures. Try to break them down
and figure out what you'd do in that situation next time.

It's easy to get frustrated. A journal will let you see how far you've come. It may sound hokey,
but, trust me, it works.

6. Stay up to date

Love Systems used to be called Mystery Method Corp. I co-founded it several years ago and ran
it from the beginning. It had a good run for a while.

At the time, it provided the best pickup and dating advice for men. But, that was years and years
ago.

Times have changed. Women are used to old-generation techniques. Dating science has
changed. What we're today is so much better and more advanced than what guys were doing
years ago. Even technology has changed.

For example, phone and text game is infinitely more important than it was five years ago. Just
the other day, Braddock and I were trading notes about using text messages (SMS) in picking
up. I told him about my new technique of gathering a bunch of phone numbers and building
attraction early in the night and then texting everyone around 1am with "Where are you?" or
"We're doing shots, come to the bar." This usually leads to same-night fun.

Then Braddock told me how he is actually texting women during the initial conversation. He'll
get a woman's number and then a few minutes later, when he's still talking to her, text her
something like "Hey, this cute girl keeps hitting on me; what should I do?" It starts the flirty text
conversation from the original conversation, which sure as heck beats the "cold" phone call the
next day.

(Speaking of Braddock, his exciting Phone and Text Game book comes out January 21st. There's
going to be a limited release with LIVE bonus material - sign up for the (free) pre-release list
here:

>> http://www.lovesystems.com/books/phone-text-game)
This is all new, powerful stuff. But, widespread texting didn't even EXIST when the old-school
stuff like The Game came out. You wouldn't go out in 2003 clothes and a 2003 haircut talking
about whether you liked The Matrix Reloaded, would you? Don't use 2003 game either. It's
2010.

Now, I don't want you to go nuts reading every blog, every post on The Attraction Forums, and
so on. Remember Resolution #1 - go out and practice.

But, set up a couple of ways to stay current and eliminate the rest. Unsubscribe to any self-
improvement mailing lists that are not providing quality "news you can use" information every
week... I promise this will make a big difference. Follow a couple of blogs, check into the
Lounge or The Attraction Forums at least once a week, or, better still, subscribe to the interview
series.

Remember - news you can use only. Eliminate clutter.

7. Take something out

Look, I know you don't have a ton of free time. To add things to your life, you need to cut other
things out. I don't know exactly what your life is like so I can't tell you exactly what to do here.

However, a lot of time-killers or lifestyle-killers have some of these factors in common:

• Indoors.

• Non-social.

• Can last a long time if you let it.

• Leaves you with diminished energy afterwards.

TV and computers often fit into all four categories. If that's how you relax, fine, but give
yourself a daily or weekly limit and stick to it. I'd much rather you have a 3-hour dinner with a
friend than spend an unnecessary hour in front of your computer.

8. Be man enough to ask for help

I confess - I'm not great at this. Like, I hate asking people for directions. It drives my girlfriends
nuts. I end up wasting a lot of time or eventually have to give up and ask for directions. Usually
both.

Women don't tend to understand this nonsense. Women will ask for directions, and more. They
share experiences, ask for advice, and don't reinvent the wheel.

This gives women a huge advantage socially over most men. Don't blame women for being
smarter than us about this. Learn from them.

Now, I'm not saying you should be all touchy-feely and be "sharing your feelings" with your guy
friends (I wrote a blog rant about this once). That's not really how most male friendships work.

One of the largest websites for men's fitness, body building, and self-improvement was looking
at exactly this issue around this time last year. And, they used Love Systems as an example:

The Science of Getting Laid

They have stupid pseudonyms like Cajun, Sheriff, Samurai, and The Don, but it's better
than what they used to be called: geek, nerd, jackass, and douche bag.

They dress well but aren't necessarily good looking. Some are skinny with patchy facial
hair. Others are slightly overweight. A few are just plain fucking ugly. But they're
nothing out of the ordinary. They look like ... guys. If you were at a bar hanging out and
they walked in you probably wouldn't even notice them.

That's okay with them. You're not their type.

You'd probably laugh with your friends as you watch one of them approach a group of
gorgeous girls. But your laughter may turn to disbelief when you see the girls offer
phone numbers. Disbelief might turn to shock as you watch a master pick-up artist walk
out with the hottest one on his arm. And shock may turn to awe when you see him do it
over and over again with different groups of sexy women.

Pick-up artists leave with Playboy centerfolds, porn actresses, models, and perfect 10s.
You leave with your best friend Steve.

But don't worry; they used to be just like you. Probably worse. And you can learn how to
 pick up chicks, too. That is, if you're man enough to ask for help...

(Original article continued here)

So, make 2010 the year when you man up and get help. Ask questions. Take a bootcamp. Build
on the people who came before you.

Here's our training schedule:

>> http://www.lovesystems.com/schedule

I know it's a big pretty big schedule. That's why I want to introduce you to Jeremy.

For the past few years, Jeremy has been the "Program Manager" for Love Systems. That means
he's your representative. Internally, he represents the Love Systems community whenever we
talk about programs, products, etc. Externally, he's your go-to guy with any questions about
programs or instructors or to figure out what (if anything) might be right for you. He's been
doing this for a few years and he'll give you the straight goods. He's in Los Angeles and can be
reached at:

Jeremy@LoveSystems.com, or

+1 (323) 836-0150

So, that's it. Nothing in here should be overly hard or unrealistic. There's nothing in here about
going to the gym every day, taking an improv class, or losing 30lbs. Those things will all help,
but aren't necessary.

These are your New Year's resolutions. They are achievable. Print them out (this is important)
and look at them every day. Let's make 2010 the year you reach your goals.

Take care,

Nick Savoy

P.S. I can't promise a personal reply every time, but stay in touch. I'd love to hear about your
progress with this. – NS
http://www.lovesystems.com/newsletters/savoy-made-your-new-years-resolutions