Challenges on keeping the family bonding based on current situation

(The challenges and solutions)

Chairperson : We are here today to discuss on a topic which needs lots of attentions from
our society members that is Challenges on keeping the family bonding based on current
situation. Lets analyse the challenges faced by the modern families now days and their
solutions to tighten the family bonding as well. Families today face unique challenges that
were not on the spectrum before computers and smart phones took over the world. Families
spend less quality time together, and when they are together that quality time is usurped by
our 24/7 access to media, internet and social networking sites. Nowhere is the impact of
popular culture and technology on childrens relationships more noticeable than in families.
Both influences have contributed to a growing divide between the traditional roles that
children and their parents play while, at the same time, blurring those same lines between
parents and children. Lets go through more on this from our first speaker today. So, Ranjini,
from your point of do you accept the fact that technology developments creating afamily
divide?
First Speaker : Yes, obviously it does not take too much insight to realize that families today
look much different from the way they did just a generation or two ago. This divide has
grown due to the increased use of technology among children in several ways. First,
childrens absorption in technology, from texting to playing video games, does by their
very nature limit their availability to communicate with their parents. One study found that
when the working parent arrived home after work, his or her children were so immersed in
technology that the parent was greeted only 30 percent of the time and was totally ignored
50 percent of the time. Another study reported that family time was not affected when
technology was used for school, but did hurt family communications when used for social
reasons. Interestingly, children who spent considerable time on a popular social
networking site indicated that they felt less supported by their parents. Second, as digital
immigrants, parents can struggle to gain proficiency and comfort with the new technology
that their digital-native children have already mastered. This divergence in competence in
such an important area of childrens lives makes it more difficult for parents to assume the
role of teacher and guide in their childrens use of technology. Because of the lack of
technological acumen on the part of many parents, they lack the authority, at least in the
eyes of their children, to regulate its use. Due to parents anxiety or apprehension about the
use of technology, they may be unwilling to assert themselves in their childrens
technological lives. Because of their childrens sense of superiority and lack of respect for
parents authority in these matters, children may be unwilling to listen to their parents
attempts to guide or limit their use of technology.
Chairperson : From our first speakers opinion, what we can conclude here actually is
childrens advanced absorption in technology and parents low proficiency towards the
technology development are two main facts that caused by the technology development
which reducing the family bonding in this century. Next, lets look what our second speaker,
Lalitha has to tell us about the topic we are talking about today.
Second speaker : I would like to add on few more facts on impacts that left by technology
developments in family bonding. Computer and mobile technology have provided children
with an independence in their communications with friends and others. Consider this, in
previous generations, if children wanted to be in touch with a friend, they had to call them on
the home phone which might be answered by a parent. Thus, parents had the opportunity to

monitor and act as gatekeepers for their childrens social lives. Times have changed. New
technology offers children independence from their parents involvement in their social lives,
with the use of mobile phones, instant messaging, and social networking sites. Of course,
children see this technological divide between themselves and their parents as freedom from
over-involvement and intrusion on the part of their parents in their lives. Parents, in turn, see
it as a loss of connection to their children and an inability to maintain reasonable oversight,
for the sake of safety and over-all health, of their childrens lives. At the same time, perhaps
a bit cynically, childrens time-consuming immersion in technology may also mean that
parents dont have to bother with entertaining their children, leaving them more time to
themselves. There is little doubt that technology is affecting family relationships on a day-today level. Children are instant messaging constantly, checking their social media, listening to
music, surfing their favourite web sites, and watching television or movies. Because of the
emergence of mobile technology, these practices are no longer limited to the home, but
rather can occur in cars, at restaurants, in fact, anywhere theres a mobile phone signal. Its
not only the children who are responsible for the growing divide between parents and their
offspring. Parents can be equally guilty of contributing to the distance that appears to be
increasing in families. They are often wrapped up in their own technology, for example,
talking on their mobile phones, checking email, or watching TV, when they could be talking
to, playing with, or generally connecting with their children.
Chairperson : According to what have been discussed by Lalitha just now, mobile technology
offers independence from their parents involvement in their social lives. Uvaraja, would you
like to elaborate more regarding this technology development which has been said as the
main cause for weak family bonding by our two other speakers just now.
Third speaker : Yes! For sure I would like to share some interesting issues that I came
across in an article recently. It is proven that parents have attempted to counteract this
growing divide not with actual face-to-face communication with their children, but by joining
their children in cyberspace. A phenomenon that has caused considerable debate
involves parents friend-ing their children on Facebook. According to a research it is proven
about 50 percent of parents have done it.. Some parents use Facebook to keep track of their
childrens coming and goings. Other parents friend their children as a means of feeling
closer to them. So what is their childrens reaction to being friends with their parents? An
informal survey I conducted of dozens of teenagers found that the dominant reaction can
best be characterized as EEEWWW! Most children dont want their parents to be their
friends or their friends, for that matter. The fact is that family life has changed in the last
generation quite apart from the rise of technology. The size of homes has grown by 50
percent, meaning family members can retreat to their own corners of the house, so theres
less chance that parents and children will see each other. Because everyone is so busy with
work, school, and extracurricular activities, theres less time for families to spend together. At
technology to the mix and it only gets worse. Its gotten to the point where it seems like
parents and children are emailing and texting each other more than theyre talkingeven
when theyre at home together! The ramifications of this distancing are profound. Less
connectionthe real kindmeans that families arent able to build relationships as strong as
they could be nor are they able to maintain them as well. As a result, children will feel less
familiarity, comfort, trust, security, and, most importantly, love from their parents. There is
also less sharing which means that parents know less about what is going on in their
childrens lives and, consequently, have less ability to exert influence over them. Parents are

also less able to not only offer appropriate supervision and guidance, but, at a more basic
level, they are less able to model healthy behaviour, share positive values, and send good
messages to their children.
Chairperson : What we can conclude here from our three speakers is technology
development has contributed major challenges on keeping the family bonding based on
current situation. There are many ways to define a family, but they all have one common
idea: caring. Whether a particular family is a nuclear family, a stepfamily, a single-parent
family, or an empty-nest family, it usually consists of related people who care about each
other. Regardless of type, all families also need to be nurtured and strengthened from time
to time. Three of our speakers here today are waiting to offer some suggestions for
improving and strengthening relationships in your family. Lets begin from Ranjini again. Tell
Ranjini, what are the suggestion you would like to share with us to maintain a good family
bonding?
First speaker : Amazing things can happen when a family comes together to do things
together. A family that can bond together will be a family that is united forever. The world is
fast paced and works against families being united and bonded together. There are at least
five "L's" which contribute to strong family relationships.
LearningFamilies are where we learn values, skills, and behaviour. Strong families
manage and control their learning experiences. They establish a pattern of home life. They
select appropriate television programs. They guide their children into the world outside the
home. They do not let social forces rule their family life. They involve themselves in
neighbourhood, school, government, church, and business in ways that support their family
values. Strong families teach by example and learn through experience as they explain and
execute their values.
LoyaltyStrong families have a sense of loyalty and devotion toward family members. The
family sticks together. They stand by each other during times of trouble. They stand up for
each other when attacked by someone outside the family. Loyalty builds through sickness
and health, want and good fortune, failure and success, and all the things the family faces.
The family is a place of shelter for individual family members. In times of personal success
or defeat, the family becomes a cheering section or a mourning bench. They also learn a
sense of give and take in the family, which helps prepare them for the necessary
negotiations in other relationships.
Love is at the heart of the family. All humans have the need to love and to be loved; the
family is normally the place where love is expressed. Love is the close personal blending of
physical and mental togetherness. It includes privacy, intimacy, sharing, belonging, and
caring. The atmosphere of real love is one of honesty, understanding, patience, and
forgiveness. Such love does not happen automatically; it requires constant daily effort by
each family member. Loving families share activities and express a great deal of gratitude for
one another. Love takes time, affection, and a positive attitude.

Laughter is good family medicine. Humor is an escape valve for family tension. Through
laughter we learn to see ourselves honestly and objectively. Building a strong family is
serious business, but if taken too seriously, family life can become very tense. Laughter
balances our efforts and gives us a realistic view of things. To be helpful, family laughter
must be positive in nature. Laughing together builds up a family. Laughing at each other
divides a family. Families that learn to use laughter in a positive way can release tensions,
gain a clearer view, and bond relationships.
Leadership is essential. Family members, usually the adults, must assume responsibility for
leading the family. If no one accepts this vital role, the family will weaken. Each family needs
its own special set of rules and guidelines. These rules are based on the family members'
greatest understanding of one another, not forces. The guidelines pass along from the adults
to the children by example, with firmness and fairness. Strong families can work together to
establish their way of life, allowing children to have a voice in decision making and enforcing
rules. However, in the initial stages and in times of crisis, adult family members must get the
family to work together.
Chairperson : Interesting! Learning, Love, Loyalthy,Laughter and Leadership! 5Ls that
meant a lot for a family bonding! Next Lalitha, tell us what you have prepared to share with
us.
Second speaker : Flexibility is another important strategy that strong families use to help get
through crisis situations. Strong families bend, change, and adapt, and when the storm is
over they are still intact. In the past, family bonding time often meant parents and kids
gathered around the dinner table or a board game, but as the digital age marches on, quality
time has evolved to include the latest technology. From Facebook games to Skype, discover
four ways to embrace family bonding in the 21st century.
Find Facebook games for family bonding
Whether the kids are away at college or just across town, you can still score some family
bonding time over your favorite games for family on Facebook. This online social network
offers many multiplayer online games your entire family can engage in, even when you can't
schedule face time.
Engage in online multiplayer games
Whether you're sitting behind a computer or sporting a smart phone, family members can
play multiplayer games together -- either in the same room or miles apart. With a few simple,
fun game apps likeSketch, an interactive Pictionary-style game you can play with family and
friends, or Cestos, an app with real-time games to compete against your family members.
Invest in a game console
Engage in friendly competition on your family game console, which has put the active in
activity thanks to motion-sending technology and wireless remotes. For families trying family
bonding from afar, game consoles such as Xbox Live, Play Station 3 and Wii offer online
play.

See them on Skype

Invest in a webcam such as the Logitech HD Pro Webcam C910 and spend some face time
thanks to video chat technology. Combined with free video chat programs such asSkype,
you can keep up with your kids, grandchildren and extended family as if they were right in
front of you, regardless of the miles that separate you.
According to Peter Blacklow, the EVP of GSN Digital, families have used games as family
bonding time for years, but the games have changed and become more digital in nature.
Games like Jeopardy or Price is Right on Facebook give families the same dynamic of sitting
around a board game when they sit around the iPad or laptop. Conversely, families who are
miles apart can stay in touch by playing these popular games online together.
Chairperson : Yeah, regardless of how we choose to connect, set up an online calendar to
help us to schedule family bonding. Using technology that kids are more hip to will likely
make them less resistant to spending time with mom and dad and embrace family bonding
in the 21st century. Lastly, Uvaraja give us your suggestion for having a good family bonding.
Third speaker : From my point of view, work, school, extracurricular activities; these daily
activities that make our lives so busy create difficulties for parents to foster a bond with their
children. While children are out of school for the summer we can easily strengthen family
relationships by spending time with one another, listening to each other, and respecting each
others opinions. Here I have ten easy things a parent can do to form stronger bonds with
their children.
1. Try and eat dinner together with no distractions, such as television or phones. Eating a
family meal together not only promotes better eating habits, but also gives family members
time to discuss their day and any good or challenging things happening in their life.
2. A great way of having fun while bonding with your family is to create a Family Night
where the entire family participates in an activity. This can be as easy as a board game
night, an evening out at a fun family restaurant, or to go see a movie.
3. Helping a child with their homework not only allows you to spend time together, but
enables you to see what they are learning and how they are doing academically. Your
support and praise will go a long way in boosting their confidence in school.
4. When planning a family vacation you can ask your children where they want to go and
what they want to see or do. By incorporating them in the planning process you make them
feel like an integral part of the family.
5. Many children have extracurricular activities like sports or dance. By involving yourself in
these activities and praising them on their participation you are helping build their confidence
as well as strengthening your bond.

6. Many parents know that reading to your child daily increases their literacy, but it also
allows for a time when both parent and child are completely focused on one another and can
communicate freely about the book or other subjects.
7. Teaching your children the importance of volunteerism and giving back by volunteering for
a local charity or organization can show them the importance of what they have and make
them a more socially conscience person.
8. Getting involved in your childrens hobbies, whether it is collecting baseball cards or
horseback riding, shows your support of their chosen activity and allows them to feel they
can express themselves in any way.
9. By encouraging your children to be active and exercising together you foster healthier
habits for both you and your child while you both communicate about the activities you are
doing.
10. Childhood, especially the adolescent years, is incredibly hard on the self esteem of many
children. By telling a child you love them and giving compliments or positive feedback
frequently you can foster their confidence and perception of themselves. By listening and
being supportive of their ideas, even if you dont agree, makes them feel as if they can come
to you with their problems and discuss their true feelings.
Chairperson : Thus, there is nothing better than having a place you can call home, where
you feel loved, appreciated and safe. As a parent, having a strong bond with their children
creates a feeling of unity and safety. It is important to do all you can to create these family
bonds to ensure a happier and healthier family. All the challenges that we discussed should
be solved by following all of the suggestions given by our three speakers today so that it can
help assist you and your family in creating a strong life long bond.