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What is wrong with or right about Valentines Day?Cultural bias is the anti thesis of harmonious social co-existence and it is potential dynamite which can destroy everyone. The exhibition of
cultural bias has become a fashion by itself, which in fact, indirectly, promotes, the very thing it opposes.
The best thing to do with any festivity is to passionately participate in it; or adjust and tolerate others who want to celebrate it; or be indifferent to
it and ignore it; or merely watch it in an unbiased manner and draw whatever we want out of it.
When it comes to Valentines Day we see the active involved celebration of some; some sections of the society which looks forward to every
excuse to celebrate something; there is another section which throws about lot of questions like why should there be a calendared observation or
public exhibition of a particular human emotion/feeling/attribute. They also accuse that all these are the influence of western culture and
promoted for/ by commercial considerations etc. They also come up with a great logically fallacious argument like those who celebrate do they
mean to say that they do not love on other days?
Well, in that way, all social, historical, traditional, cultural, religious festivities are also calendared observations. All involve public display of
some activity and all invariably involve some commercial activity too: be it buying sweets, new dresses, bursting crackers, visiting places of
worship, consuming liquor and driving madly contributing to more accidents etc.
There can be no perennial cultural taboos or trends to our life which is incidentally temporal and mortal.
What is so wrong about celebrating and exchanging greetings of an excellent, essential and extremely pleasant and positive human attribute
[which is also beyond religious, national, political borders] on a particular day and note that nothing prevents anyone from celebrating it every
Normally most reactions happen due to mass hysteria creating brain washing which pushes one into some identity cages and if one happens to
venerate and virtually entwine ones entire life in that cage and venerate the walls of the cage and end up getting agitated when someone tries to
shake the cage or worse still break the wall of the cage.
This happens with all religions, ideological, political affiliations and religious practices manifesting itself with varying degrees of fanaticism and
Levels of scrutiny, extent of criticism, limits of tolerance, philosophical consolations etc, everything becomes very elastic or rigid depending upon
whom it affects at that particular instant and how the affected people take it.
Depending on the nature, circumstances, situations, nurtured attitudes etc proportionately the reactions, retributions, revenge etc will manifest.
The word Love is from Sanskrit word lubhyati and Sanskrit has 96 words for love.

1. I am aware of the existence of vast and voluminous literature on love, lot of lovely interpretations of love,
many marvelous descriptions of love etc. So everyone may wonder and hesitate what more can one write on this
subject and that too not expressing love or using love as a medium to express something or as an experience but
to write something about love. I was emboldened and motivated again by words of love from Debbie Millmans
advice on Courage and the Creative Life, Do what you love, and dont stop until you get
what you love. Work as hard as you can, imagine immensities, dont compromise, and
dont waste time. Start now.
Not 20 years from now,
not two weeks
From now,

2.For ordinary folks Love Lives in and Operates in Varying degrees or intensities in Everything; for artists it
renders Lively and Offers joys Verily in Every shade of color; for musicians it Lives in Obvious harmony
of Vibrations of every Enchanting melody or sound; for the Lofty vocabulary loving and Oversophisticated Versions preferring elitists it dazzles in Every facet; for the Learned scientifically spirited it
Operates and Verily exists in every successful Experiment; for the religiously minded it Lives Obviously as
per Gods Very authentic stamp in Every life; for the philosophically probing self it Leverages and Operates
rationally in Very Enlightening ways as John Armstrong says, Philosophy is the successful love of
thinking; for the spiritually enhanced it Lives , Operates Virtually in Every soul; for the adolescent youth it
is Lively Overflow of Vast hormonal Exuberance Lingering in Overall Virile Enthusiasm; for a mathematician it
is Living in a Overdose of Virtual world of Every number and shape; for a physicist it is Lively
experimenting of the Overpowering Vast Expanse of universe defying his definitions; for a chemist it is Life
of Objects in Verified and verifiable Elements; for a biologist it is Living Organisms Vying to Experience
life; for small children it is Life in its Overabundant Vitality and Enjoyment; for adventurous spirits it
is Living with an Objective of Verifying and Exploring everything through actual experience; for historians
it is Life Over periods of Varying Engagements and exchanges; for the rich it is Luxury of Opulence
and Viable Expensive experience; for the poor it is Living in Obnoxiously pitiable
and Vilifying Environments; for the environment lovers it is Living along with Other species in Virtual
respect of sharing and Exchanging of everything; for the sincere students it is Learning through Observation
and Verbal as well as other non verbal understanding to get Educated; for teachers and preachers it is Lifting
up Others understanding Via Enlightened communications; as per saints, sages and religious people it is
about Linking of your individual self to the Other supreme self through Virtuous vibrations of living leading
to Enlightened wisdom; for parents it is concern about the Life of their children Overzealously to become
and remain Valuable on Earth forever Etching their name for posterity etc .

3. Love involves more

of subjective impressions
and contextual or
momentary or instant
feelings which are

Source of the above picture from

4. So it is always easy to express with

eloquence a purely personal love or masked
objective perceptions about love with real
romantic feeling hidden beneath.

5. It is therefore, hypocritical to demean it as carnal or deify it as eternal. We must

try to grasp the fact of meaninglessness of certain words with relevance to life as
we experience it, i.e. our life is mortal and temporal. So words like eternal, absolute,
always etc can at best be in imagination or used with relative relevance to give an
exaggerated extension to something that we want to have as a reference manual or
reference point or principle or value for everyone to follow. For example we can say,
It is always good to be kind/honest [though practically we know it is not possible]
and pass this statement as principle to be followed more as a better option rather
than saying be cruel/ to cheat.

6. So in the light of the above

referred observations let us
evaluate or better still, try to
Valentines Day

11.Can love be divided and described

under various categories?
What is wrong in doing that? Is it
domain specific?
Is it easily definable? Or does it defy
any particular definition?
Or probably we may get drowned in
an ocean of definitions?

12. Especially those defining in extremes that you may

get confused by different waves and definitely get
drowned like these Shakespeare in A Midsummer Night
Dream: Love looks not with the eyes, but with the
mind or Ambrose Bierce in The Devils Dictionary
: Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage
or Susan Sontag, Nothing is mysterious, no human
relation. Except love.

13. Certain words have acquired such a vast carapace of connotations, its real
denotation and etymology either gets faded in to insignificance or is hidden or is
totally forgotten or gets totally mutilated into multiple pieces or is replaced by the
multitudes of connotations each giving different meanings according to how those
who look at it from their perspective, or perception or prejudice etc.

14. This word LOVE likewise throws up some very usual, predominant and trite
connotations, nothing wrong or immoral about them, like romance, beauty, sex,
relationships, devotion, happiness, morality, religion, culture, society, thoughts,
enjoyment etc, including in its cauldron almost everything to do with life on the
whole and that is the reason this word rings a bell to all our senses whenever it is
pronounced and make everyone to either to act or to react or to think or to do
something about it. One may think of anything or do anything with this word but
no one can afford to ignore it or be indifferent to it. Thats why it is supreme among

15.But despite all these, the beauty of certain terms is that they have a
certain inherent attributes, intrinsic meaning, and values that pop out
whatever is the connotation or context in which that word is either
used or misused
misused.. This most vibrant word LOVE
LOVE too is one such word
wherein the inherent attribute pops out every time either we use it or
hear it

16.Basically it is an
everyone experiences and it
is a vibration inherent in
everything and therefore it
could be or probably must
be expressed in multiple
ways. After all variety is
the spice of
love and life.

18. Life involves being in love with something: it could be

an idea, a feeling, an emotion, an art, a music, nature etc
or someone, it could be anyone around you or away from
you. It is not meant as if to complete an incomplete life
but to compliment to make life lively.

There are no half measures or ambivalent

feelings or hypocrisies in real love. It
functions only in the realm of intense
totality and total intensity

20. Real love

intimacy nor
fears the
triteness of

Love unravels the vastness

of life because when it
expands horizontally all
horizons vanish and when
it climbs vertically there are
no skies, as Barbara
Fredrickson says, Love can
even give you a palpable
sense of oneness and
connection, a transcendence
that makes you feel part of
something far larger than
yourself .


Love doesnt mind letting go off logic and reason.

Love doesnt mind defying all existing definitions.
Love dares to outwit social sanctions and pressures.
Love doesnt hesitate to ignore religious restrictions.
Love enwraps within itself an ever elusive omnipotent power house.
Love contains within its four letters many million emotional states.
Love is packed with innumerable meanings allowing at the same time the
liberty to include all sorts of meaningless activities under its umbrella.
Love swiftly swings between two extremes frequencies of sensitive hyper
activity and sober calm observations and stillness.
Love is not amenable to measurement and mapping because it is not static.
Love doesnt care for any justifications.
In short real love is not just a part of life or participation into something
or with someone in life; it permeates with life as life itself.
Love by itself and on its own enjoys its intoxication and rejoices its
addiction, represented in renewed repetitions or rapturous revelations.
Love only uses a medium to express itself which could be art, music,
romantic relationship with another human being, attachment to an
ideology or feeling, pleasure in scientific research, probing with profound
logic, rejoicing in pleasures of any kind, following or questioning
established belief systems etc
Love is more concerned with multiple manifestations of commitment,
clarity and communication, co- operating to create certainties than
controlling and commanding or competing or comparing.
Lifes happiness or happy liveliness expands with love.

22. Fulcrums of love are many like total trust, complete candidness, carefree abandon,
pursuit of pleasures, pleasant dispositions, firm faiths, impelling inquisitiveness invested
with involvement and interest etc

23.The factors, which are otherwise common and important; which normally cause
discrimination; do not seem to bother love, namely judgment, evaluation,
measurement or quantifying etc.

24. In a
broader sense
most activities
which lead to
discover and to
personality of
a person are

contribute to
creativity and
emanate from
love or because
of love.

26. Love is not a time pass or

entertainment show.

27. Love is one of the greatest emotion or feeling which spans through, stamps its
imprints and satisfies all the realms of human life: the physical, psychological,
emotional, social, spiritual or sublime or for those who dont believe in such things
the intangible or inexplicable aspects of a persons life etc.

28.Love enhances the realm of

justification for the existence of or
evolution of consciousness. I doubt
even the in depth research by
Stuart R.Hameroff and Roger
Penrose involving the role of
microtubules within the brains
neurons in relation to the
phenomenon of consciousness can
unravel the unpredictable ways in
which love behaves because both
the subject and the object of love
become one and only LOVE
remains and this love operate at
various levels unmindful of any
fixed principles or expected
practices, it operates, in addition to
all the multiple spheres of a being
even in terms of consciousness it
prevails in consciousness, persists
in sub consciousness and pervades
into supra consciousness too.

29. For etymology though I have a Large Overdose of Very Exciting and interesting
materials I would like to, for the sake of brevity, quote from
Old English lufu "love, affection, friendliness," from Proto-Germanic *lubo (cf. Old
High German liubi "joy," German Liebe "love;" Old Norse, Old Frisian, Dutch lof;
German Lob "praise;" Old Saxon liof, Old Frisian liaf, Dutch lief, Old High German
liob, Germanlieb, Gothic liufs "dear, beloved").
The Germanic words are from PIE *leubh- "to care, desire, love" (cf. Latin lubet, later
libet "pleases; Sanskrit lubhyati "desires;" Old Church Slavonic l'ubu "dear, beloved;"
Lithuanian liaupse "song of praise"). Quote ends.
I would like to argue why not for example include the French Luf meaning egg
symbolically, referring to creation itself or the act of creation.
Even in the etymology given above the Sanskrit word lubhyati has many
meanings/connotations depending on the context with subtle nuances like desires of,
entice, interested in, long for, allure, covet, be perplexed or disturbed mentally etc.
Probably those who do not have a Sanskrit dictionary at hand may refer to this link
Incidentally Sanskrit has 96 words for love, the most of any language and
no wonder from the love of karma, dharma to kama sutra they did everything with love
and involvement in a language par excellence. You may also read these links


31. Most qualifying adjectives to love especially of the abstract and relative variety like moral love, true love,
intellectual love etc are meaningless because of their very relativity and lack of clarity whereas those based on linguistically
definable relationship like parental love, filial love etc are acceptable. Still, love is neither a tag nor a prefix or suffix hitching
on to some qualifier. Love is life and life is love and where there is love they both manifest seamlessly in every aspect and
move of life. Love is all about relating to life and life relating with love to everything else. Life in general is all about how we

32. Using terms like immoral love is like using the

term illegitimate children,
What does a child know about legitimacy and how
does a biochemical life that comes out as a result of
sexual act know whether it is legitimate or
illegitimate. After all, every life is transmitted
through sex [and as Henry Miller says, Sex is one of
the nine reasons for reincarnation. . .The other eight
are unimportant]
Sanathana Dharma, [way of experiencing, exploring
and engaging with life] which is otherwise labeled for
convenience as Hinduism, makes it clear that creation
happened out of Kama, the primal biological energy as
per ancient Indian texts like Rig Veda [ They do not
hypocritically say it was born out of light from some
unknown God] Kama is one of the Trivarga [as source
of life and root of many activities]

33. Though personally for me love with anything or for anyone or

about and/or from anything or anyone is seldom a noun but always a
verb, either transitive or intransitive defined in terms of simple
grammar and it is as much about giving as about receiving a reciprocal
affair. This link explains the most important aspect of love i.e.

34. Does love have an opposite? Yes, it does, and it is fear. These two
are the two extremes of the spectrum of all human activities, thoughts,
emotions etc. In fact all human activities, emotions, thoughts etc could
be, if at all there is any single possibility of simplifying to understand
life, classified broadly under these two categories with varying degrees
of their manifestation like love into liking, desire, happiness, peace,
pleasure, companionship, wish, wanting, affection, relationship,
togetherness, co-operation, physical, emotional or psychological
contacts, intimacy, enjoyments etc to name a few. Similarly fear can be
said to manifest in varying degrees as hatred, indifference, judgmental,
avoidance, unwillingness, disgust, destructiveness etc

35. While fear is just the hinge love in its totality is a wonderful
splendor beyond the realms of Time and Space and thats why it is mad,
stimulating, creative etc. To know how and why fear is just the hinge
read this pictorial presentation. or in

37. While life is a circle or a cycle, human activities,

thoughts and emotions in their geometric progression
come in and take different shapes and also shape life in
different ways and thats why we have love triangles
and squarely blame many things for many of our actions
and describe tangential behavior patterns etc.
Here are some of the things that I have
written on these issues.

38. Diane Ackerman, the great science historian when she wrote a
book titled A Natural History of Love writes,

What a small word we use for an idea so immense and powerful it

has altered the flow of history, calmed monsters, kindled works of
art, cheered the forlorn, turned tough guys to mush, consoled the
enslaved, driven strong women mad, glorified the humble, fueled
national scandals, bankrupted robber barons, and made mincemeat
of kings. How can loves spaciousness be conveyed in the narrow
confines of one syllable? If we search for the source of the word, we
find a history vague and confusing, stretching back to the
Sanskrit lubhyati (he desires). Im sure the etymology rambles back
much farther than that, to a one-syllable word heavy as a heartbeat.
Love is an ancient delirium, a desire older than civilization, with
taproots stretching deep into dark and mysterious days. she writes
in the same work, We have the great fortune to live on a planet
abounding with humans, plants, and animals; and I often marvel at
the strange tasks evolution sets them. Of all the errands life seems to
be running, of all the mysteries that enchant us, love is my favorite.

After reading such wonderful writing we are only tempted to quote

more and more from that wonderful book to bring out the entire
gamut of love in all its uses of glory as well as misuses of its

39. By its very nature

Love is
Over flowing of excess
with inherent

This is well portrayed in The

Diary of Anais Nin,
Something is always born of
excess: great art was born of
great terrors, great loneliness,
great inhibitions, instabilities,
and it always balances them.

40.Love is, Life Operating Vital Energy,

and Live Operative Vibrant Energy
often Lovingly Outpouring Virtual Emotions
and Leverage to Operate Virtually Everything,
perhaps, like

Lively Omnipresent Vibration Everywhere
always live, useful, and extremely functional in
myriad ways and could become lethal too.

41. Electricitys manifestation varies in the applications it is put to, depending

upon whether we use to illuminate a bulb; to cool a hot room with air conditioner;
or to warm a cool place with a warmer; or to use to burn a cloth; or use it to wash a
cloth in a washing machine; use it to char someone to death; or use it to treat
someone or to cure a disease; whether we use to operate a computer or a
crematorium incinerator.
Similarly Love too is, by itself, an immense power and an inevitable powerhouse of
a feeling but it gets modified in its manifestations of varying degrees of intensities
depending upon who uses it? How they use it? What for they use it? And why they
use it at all? All these various aspects of uses, abuses, misuses of love are all
excellently explained in Eric Fromms wonderful book The Art of Loving.

42.LOVE is one of those

words which is a
Live wire
Operating dynamically its
Vibrations in
Every domain and
Lingers around either
Obviously or opulently and
Virtually gets
Embedded or enmeshed or

profession, whichever
perception, prejudice,
priority, preoccupation,
position, power from
which we look at it,
and Ever present or at
least enjoyable.

45.In short, LOVE is a

Everyones inner self; love
Whether one
Likes it
Or not, no one can
Vie with it to
Escape; many
Lives are
Operated out of its
Virtual Exuberance.

46.The different labels assigned

to it, the adjectives adorning it,
many prefixes and suffixes added
multiple contextually confining
definitions to describe it ranging
from the
Obnoxious ones tarnishing the
Vitals of this lovely
Emotion to the
Outpouring of ascribing
Virtues of
Every hue to it are all the various
perceptions, multiple mutilations,
myriads of perspectives etc.

47. They are all like that

because this emotion is
very plastic, pliable and
elastic and allows itself to
be used as however one
wants to use it to be.
Loveliest part is from
Outside it does not
Vitiate anyones
Endearing association
with it.

48. Now let us move from these

Outpourings Of
Valuable and worthy
Endearments and
Look at the many obvious and
Operational metamorphosis of this
Virtue or vice as it is
Everywhere and how in many
Literatures and
Other domains it is
Viewed by
Everyone through the

Enlightened individuals, through the
Outpourings of
Experiences etc

49. Going back to

where I started the
LOVE thus:

Love is
Energy, and

50. So,
Left to itself, it will
Open up and blossom into a
Energizing entity but will get modified,
mellowed, mutilated, muddied,
misinterpreted etc when we convert it
from an vibrant and vital energy into a
Entity to serve our
Lewd, Lingering, Local, Lurking, Long
Objectives Of
Very selfish
Emotions and worse still expect it to be
everlastingly embed in our confines then
it would be wise to understand that no
vibrant and dynamic energy is that
vulnerable to us but on the contrary it is
we who are vulnerable.

51. However ,if we

Long with all Our intense concentrated sincerity and Very badly want it, then we can be Ensured love never fails.

52. 52 Fascinating Facts About Love

53. Love can be towards or for anything, as for me it is

54. Here is a link for many interesting quotes on love.

55. Seven [7] Other Definitions of Real Love Worth Considering

56. LOVE brings in Lifes


They are the

Lovely, hitherto
Omitted pieces to complete the
Vivid picture of
Experience filled jigsaw puzzle called
Energetic happiness,

Leaving one
Oblivious to the
Various versions of mortality and engulfing in
Emotional enjoyment of eternity.

Lets the
Outpouring of
Expressions in

Lofty styles
Out doing even
Very great writers through
Epistolary exuberance.

Operates through
Emotional manifestations,
Via various

57. Through

T ry to create
O pportunity to
U nite and
C ommunicate the
H yper intensity of

Kick start

60. Buscaglia on Love:

One cannot give what he does not possess. To give love you must possess love.
One cannot teach what he does not understand. To teach love you must comprehend love.
One cannot know what he does not study. To study love you must live in love.
One cannot appreciate what he does not recognize. To recognize love you must be receptive to love.
One cannot have doubt about that which he wishes to trust. To trust love you must be convinced of love.
One cannot admit what he does not yield to. To yield to love you must be vulnerable to love.
One cannot love what he does not dedicate himself to.
To dedicate yourself to love you must be forever growing in love.
This growth, Buscaglia argues, is a process both active and interactive:
Love is an emotion, that is true.
But it is also a response to an emotion and, therefore, an active expression of what is felt.
Love is not learned by osmosis. It is actually acted out and acted upon.
Love, especially, is learned best in wonder, in joy, in peace, in living.

61. Three authors Thomas

Lewis, Fari Amini and Richard
Lannon in their work A General
Theory of Love tried their level
best to explain marvelously love
starting from explaining the
biological fundamentals,
explaining the three layers of the
brain (reptilian=basic function,
neocortical=facility to reason)
and postulating on why our
evolutionary path did not involve
a cleaner convergence of our
emotions and our rational mind.
They go on to pour over several
studies demonstrating our
emotional dependence on others.

62. In the Essays in

Love De Botton
follows a love affair,
tracing each stage
from the initial
lovesickness to the
despair of loves
demise through an
intellectual journey
into a deeply felt
emotion. It is spiced
with quotes from the
major Western

63. In Why We Love : The Nature and

Chemistry of Romantic Love Helen
Fisher outlines the three key
components of love lust, driven by
androgens and estrogens, the craving
for sexual gratification; attraction,
characterized by high dopamine and
serotonin, euphoria when things are
going well and terrible mood swings
when theyre not, focused attention,
obsessive thinking, and intense craving
for the individual; and attachment,
commandeered by the hormones
associated with the sense of calm,
peace, and stability one feels with a
partner and brings a
researchers lens to fundamental
questions about passion and obsession,
joy and jealousy, monogamy and

64. In Tolstoys Letters to Gandhi On Love,

Violence, and the Truth of the Human Spirit
he writes ,

What are wanted for the Indian as for the

Englishman, the Frenchman, the German, and the
Russian, are not Constitutions and Revolutions, nor
all sorts of Conferences and Congresses, nor the
many ingenious devices for submarine navigation and
aerial navigation, nor powerful explosives, nor all
sorts of conveniences to add to the enjoyment of the
rich, ruling classes; nor new schools and universities
with innumerable faculties of science, nor an
augmentation of papers and books, nor gramophones
and cinematographs, nor those childish and for the
most part corrupt stupidities termed art but one
thing only is needful: the knowledge of the simple
and clear truth which finds place in every soul that is
not stupefied by religious and scientific superstitions
the truth that for our life one law is valid the
law of love, which brings the highest happiness to
every individual as well as to all mankind. Free your
minds from those overgrown, mountainous
imbecilities which hinder your recognition of it, and
at once the truth will emerge from amid the pseudoreligious nonsense that has been smothering it: the
indubitable, eternal truth inherent in man, which is
one and the same in all the great religions of the

65. Vincent van

Gogh in My Life
& Love Are One
intrinsic wisdom:

Everyone who works

with love and with
intelligence finds in
the very sincerity of
his love for nature
and art a kind of
armor against the
opinions of other

66. French writer Marie-Henri

Beyle better-known by his
pseudonym Stendhals in his
work On Love which is
imbued with detailed descriptions
of that eras socio cultural and
psychological aspects also reveals
the timeless and universal
strengths and weaknesses of love
[this was supposedly written by
this great author out of his
subjective unfulfilled love affair
for a woman named Methilde
Dembowski . [His other great
work was also a great romantic
novel Le Rouge et Le Noir] Read
more about this work On Love

67.Even while writing about

writing rules, childrens author
Helen Dunmore wrote Dont
worry about posterity as
Larkin observed What will
survive of us is love.

American filmmaker, poet,
critic Maya Deren writes,
So I had always been
doing with my camera
everincreasing area of the
world, making it move,
animating it, making it
live The love of life
itself seems to me larger
than the loving attention
to a life. But, of course,
each contains the other,
and, perhaps, I have not so
much traveled off in a
direction as moved in a
slow spiral around some
central essence, seeing it
first from below, and now,
finally, from above.

69. Bertrand Russells [The great British

Face interview in BBC 1959 , said , I
should like to say two things, one
intellectual and one moral.

The intellectual thing I should want to say

to them is this: When you are studying any
matter, or considering any philosophy, ask
yourself only what are the facts and what is
the truth that the facts bear out. Never let
yourself be diverted either by what you
wish to believe, or by what you think would
have beneficent social effects if it were
believed But look only, and solely, at what
are the facts. That is the intellectual thing
that I should wish to say.
The moral thing I should wish to say to
them is very simple: I should say, love is
wise, hatred is foolish. In this world which
is getting more and more closely
interconnected, we have to learn to tolerate
each other, we have to learn to put up with
the fact that some people say things that we
dont like. We can only live together in that
way and if we are to live together and
not die together, we must learn a kind of
charity and a kind of tolerance, which is
absolutely vital to the continuation of
human life on this planet.

70. Love is a spontaneous affinity generating from many inner connections dear to the heart waiting to be

Love is not imagination based on some mythological stories or religiously sanctified incidences or traditionally
told tales. Well, all that could be true and could be inspirational as well, but then, they are not reality they are
merely roaming around in the arena of imaginations and dreams. Let us not differentiate and say just because it
is in a religious text that it must be defined as divine love mingling in universal harmony whereas when our
own teenage daughter or son really loves her or his friend then term it as young blood after lust or infatuation

Thoughts and
Other species

71. Life is made of multiple relationships
After all love is decided more by the mental time and
space we give to someone or something and their soul
stirring appeal or art or thoughts that impact our
My love for J.Krshinamurthy's works or Sri
Aurobindu's works or Swami vivekannada's work,
or Guy Murchie's work, or Neale Donald Walsch's
works or classical carnatic music definitely far
surpass in engaging me , entertaining my mind and
soul far exceedingly than that of any other
relationship. But that does not mean that I cannot
live without them or I must be worried as to what
will happen when I have to leave them. Their impact
is done and enough and therefore I would like and
love to identify myself with them and their works
but I would not like to get caged in that identity
and restrict myself and my growth.

73. Let us also remember that we cannot love everyone and

everything at all moments.

None of the sages have done that either, it is not possible ,because love happens after discrimination
and distillation with delight. Preferences are the prerogatives of normal human life, before we get
into loving mode and probably, after that, we tolerate everything because we love. There are many
stumbling blocks some logical and others illogical that prevent us from loving everyone and
For example we may love a religious way of life for the many concepts it offers for enhancing our life
but because of that we put up with all the idiocy that the followers of that religion do.

74. Barbara Fredrickson, writes in Love 2.0 : How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel , Think, Do, and Become
First and foremost, love is an emotion, a momentary state that arises to infuse your mind and body alike. Love, like all emotions, surfaces like a distinct and fastmoving weather pattern, a subtle and ever-shifting force. As for all positive emotions, the inner feeling love brings you is inherently and exquisitely pleasant it feels
extraordinarily good, the way a long, cool drink of water feels when youre parched on a hot day. Yet far beyond feeling good, a micro-moment of love, like other positive
emotions, literally changes your mind. It expands your awareness of your surroundings, even your sense of self. The boundaries between you and not-you what lies beyond
your skin relax and become more permeable. While infused with love you see fewer distinctions between you and others. Indeed, your ability to see others
really see them, wholeheartedly springs open. Love can even give you a palpable sense of oneness and connection, a transcendence that makes you feel part of something
far larger than yourself.
Perhaps counter intuitively, love is far more ubiquitous than you ever thought possible for the simple fact that love is connection. Its that poignant stretching of your
heart that you feel when you gaze into a newborns eyes for the first time or share a farewell hug with a dear friend. Its even the fondness and sense of shared purpose you
might unexpectedly feel with a group of strangers whove come together to marvel at a hatching of sea turtles or cheer at a football game. The new take on love that I want to
share with you is this: Love blossoms virtually anytime two or more people even strangers connect over a shared positive emotion, be it mild or strong.
Love is a momentary upwelling of three tightly interwoven events: first, a sharing of one or more positive emotions between you and another; second, a synchrony
between your and the other persons biochemistry and behaviors; and third, a reflected motive to invest in each others well-being that brings mutual care.
This is no ordinary moment. Within this mirrored reflection and extension of your own state, you see far more. A powerful back-and-forth union of energy springs up
between the two of you, like an electric charge
Odds are, if you were raised in a Western culture, you think of emotions as largely private events. You locate them within a persons boundaries, confined within their
mind and skin. When conversing about emotions, your use of singular possessive adjectives betrays this point of view. You refer to my anxiety, his anger, or her interest.
Following this logic, love would seem to belong to the person who feels it. Defining love as positivity resonance challenges this view. Love unfolds and reverberates between
and among people within interpersonal transactions and thereby belong to all parties involved, and to the metaphorical connective tissue that binds them together, albeit
temporarily. More than any other positive emotion, then, love belongs not to one person, but to pairs or groups of people. It resides within connections.
People who suffer from anxiety, depression, or even loneliness or low self-esteem perceive threats far more often than circumstances warrant. Sadly, this over alert
state thwarts both positivity and positivity resonance. Feeling unsafe, then, is the first obstacle to love.
Loves second precondition is connection, true sensory and temporal connection with another living being. You no doubt try to stay connected when physical
distance keeps you and your loved ones apart. You use the phone, e-mail, and increasingly texts or Facebook, and its important to do so. Yet your body, sculpted by the forces
of natural selection over millennia, was not designed for the abstractions of long-distance love, the XOXs and LOLs. Your body hungers for more.
True connection is one of loves bedrock prerequisites, a prime reason that love is not unconditional, but instead requires a particular stance. Neither abstract nor
mediated, true connection is physical and unfolds in real time. It requires sensory and temporal copresence of bodies .The main mode of sensory connection, scientists contend,
is eye contact. Other forms of real-time sensory contact through touch, voice, or mirrored body postures and gestures no doubt connect people as well and at times can
substitute for eye contact. Nevertheless, eye contact may well be the most potent trigger for connection and oneness.
Physical presence is key to love, to positivity resonance.
Love is a many-splendored thing. This classic saying is apt, not only because love can emerge from the shoots of any other positive emotion you experience, be it
amusement, serenity, or gratitude, but also because of your many viable collaborators in love, ranging from our sister to your soul mate, your newborn to your neighbor, even
someone youve never met before.
At the level of positivity resonance, micro-moments of love are virtually identical regardless of whether they bloom between you and a stranger or you and a soul
mate; between you and an infant or you and your lifelong best friend. The clearest difference between the love you feel with intimates and the love you feel with anyone with
whom you share a connection is its sheer frequency. Spending more total moments together increases your chances to feast on micro-moments of positivity resonance. These
micro-moments change you.
Whereas the biological synchrony that emerges between connected brains and bodies may be comparable no matter who the other person may be, the triggers for your
micro-moments of love can be wholly different with intimates. The hallmark feature of intimacy is mutual responsiveness, that reassuring sense that you and your soul mate
or you and your best friend really get each other. This means that you come to your interactions with a well-developed understanding of each others inner workings, and
you use that privileged knowledge thoughtfully, for each others benefit. Intimacy is that safe and comforting feeling you get when you can bask in the knowledge that this
other person truly understands and appreciates you. You can relax in this persons presence and let your guard down. Your mutual sense of trust, perhaps reinforced by your
commitments of loyalty to each other, allows each of you to be more open with each other than either of you would be elsewhere.

75. This is what poet and journalist Diane Ackerman, the great science historian says in her book titled A Natural History
of Love, Common as child birth, love seems rare nonetheless, always catches one by surprise, and cannot be taught. Each
child rediscovers it, each couple redefines it, each parent reinvents it. People search for love as if it were a city lost beneath
the desert dunes, where pleasure is the law, the streets are lined with brocade cushions, and the sun never sets.
Its tempting to think of love as a progression, from ignorance toward the refined light of reason, but that would be a
mistake. The history of love is not a ladder we climb rung by rung leaving previous rungs below. Human history is not a
journey across a landscape, in the course of which we leave one town behind as we approach another. Nomads constantly on
the move, we carry everything with us, all we possess. We carry the seeds and nails and remembered hardships of
everywhere we have lived, the beliefs and hurts and bones of every ancestor. Our baggage is heavy. We cant bear to part
with anything that ever made us human. The way we love in the twentieth century is as much an accumulation of past
sentiments as a response to modern life.
After all, there are countless studies on war, hate, crime, prejudice, and so on. Social scientists prefer to study negative
behaviors and emotions. Perhaps, they dont feel as comfortable studying love per se. I add that per se because they are
studying love often theyre studying what happens when love is deficient, thwarted, warped, or absent. We have the
great fortune to live on a planet abounding with humans, plants, and animals; and I often marvel at the strange tasks evolution
sets them. Of all the errands life seems to be running, of all the mysteries that enchant us, love is my favorite.
We think of it as a sort of traffic accident of the heart. It is an emotion that scares us more than cruelty, more than violence,
more than hatred. We allow ourselves to be foiled by the vagueness of the word. After all, love requires the utmost
vulnerability. We equip someone with freshly sharpened knives; strip naked; then invite him to stand close. What could be
Love is the great intangible. In our nightmares, we can create beasts out of pure emotion. Hate stalks the streets with
dripping fangs, fear flies down narrow alleyways on leather wings, and jealousy spins sticky webs across the sky. In
daydreams, we can maneuver with poise, foiling an opponent, scoring high on fields of glory while crowds cheer, cutting fast
to the heart of an adventure. But what dream state is love? Frantic and serene, vigilant and calm, wrung-out and fortified,
explosive and sedate love commands a vast army of moods. Hoping for victory, limping from the latest skirmish, lovers
enter the arena once again. Sitting still, we are as daring as gladiators.
Love is the white light of emotion. It includes many feelings which, out of laziness and confusion, we crowd into one
simple word. Art is the prism that sets them free, then follows the gyrations of one or a few. When art separates this thick
tangle of feelings, love bares its bones. But it cannot be measured or mapped. Everyone admits that love is wonderful and
necessary, yet no one can agree on what it is

76. Here are the links to many other important areas I have covered in the above write
up about identity cages, what happens when we get into them, what are the many
relationships etc