If you were asked to give a talk on adventures, which passage

would be the most useful for your talk, and why?

You should refer to both content and expression in your answer.
Use your own words as far as possible, but include brief
quotations to support your choice. Give reasons for not
choosing the other passages.
Answer Mark
Indicative content
One
For - Clear facts, short paragraphs, direct speech, sense of
drama and emotion
Against specific countries/geography; some technical
terms and figures
Two
For dramatic language and content
Human element names, details of physical and emotional
impact, mood changes; use of direct
speech.
Against - more complex structures and language
Flat ending
Three
For drama, use of name with connotations, imagery,
simple style, dialogue, character, mystery, personal
involvement of storyteller.
Against repetitious style, some lack of setting/detail,
ending.
Notes
Read the whole answer and use the levels grid below to decide
a mark, using your professional judgement. (6)
Level Mark Descriptor
Level 1 1-2 Few relevant observations.
May refer to only one or two texts.
Limited understanding of passages.
Level 2 3-4 Refers to at least two texts, showing understanding of meaning and
differences.
Some justification of choice, including some indication of style.
Level 3 5-6 Clear choice with supporting reasons, showing good understanding and
some analysis.
Reference to style/ expression features, with some examples.
Reasons for not choosing other passages.
7. Parents should advise their children to carry a mobile phone with the same
care as they would carry money.
(This answer scores one from three, the candidate not having realised that a
three mark question is likely to require three elements in the answer.)
8. I would recommend my friend read Passage One because it presents the
usefulnesses and odds of using mobile phones in a really relaxed and
engaging manner. It has an interesting title which has been derived from
phone conversations and so my friend would find it more personal. The
opening has a narrative touch which would engage my friend. There are lots

of dialogue and little realistic conversations that ordinary people have over
the phone. There are some factual information, eg the number of mobile
phone subscribers land lines which he would find useful as reference. He
would probably find people unintentionally eavesdropping on others
conversations hilarious and would have a little laugh after reading about
others mutual restatements of love or whos on family size oven chips.
The passage is personal and anecdotal and it has a relaxed setting. There is
also a lot of humour as the slim guy jumps and scrabbles in his pocket.
There are lots of pictures of teenagers and working people delightfully
talking over the phone. This might convince my friend that talking over a
mobile phone is something not to be missed.
I would not choose Passage Two because it is littered with advice and
precautions that would scare my friend to the extent that he might consider
not buying a mobile phone at all! He might simply find the idea of a girl
being shot in the head frightening as he is weak-hearted. The title is a
little menacing for someone about to become a new mobile user. The
language is completely factual and all the dos and donts would seriously
give my friend a headache. The photographs are of older people and my
friend would probably yawn at them. The statistics would convince my
friend into forgetting the idea of purchasing a mobile phone because he
knows its not worth losing a life over. The language has no narrative or
anecdotal sense which he would find impersonal.
(This answer is interesting for various reasons. The majority of candidates
expressed a preference for the second passage and this answer makes a
well-argued case for the first. It is very long (nearly essay length!) and there
is some repetition of ideas in each section, but there is a very clear focus on
the purpose of the choice and the needs of the potential reader. There is a
good balance between style and content with aptly chosen references to the
passages, showing both understanding and appreciation of how language is
being used for effect and purpose. There are clear reasons for not choosing
the second passage, although some of the assertions are questionable
there is some narrative and one of the pictures is a child. This answer
achieved 7 from a possible 8 marks.)This candidate scored 22 from 30 in
this section, showing clear comprehension of the passages, but maybe
missing a few marks by not understanding the requirements of some
questions clearly enough.

According to me, passage one is more likely to persuade its readers in contrast to passage two
which is about a ride.
Passage one, in the start itself, has two rhetorical questions like Have you ever wanted? and
Looking for something different? Public can become alert when reading it. It is of much
importance for children as they can learn more about subjects like Maths, Science and
Technology. This passage also uses exaggeration like it is unlike any attraction and is
unique. It emphasises that a centre NSC is providing us an experience to think (co-operate,
communicate, solve problems, make right decisions) while in space. Moreover, it gives us the
chance to become an astronaut. Passage one displays the main, important things underlined so
that it can be skimmed easily. Parents can be persuaded easily because it emphasises mostly for
their childrens prospects like learn, imagination etc.

Passage two on the other hand is about a recent ride constructed in Walt Disney world. It shows
the experiences of visitors which has nothing to do with persuasion. It shows that it is
dangerous like motion sickness or nervous of enclosed spaces should reconsider the whole
thing. This can make many people scared and most of them will refuse. Surely mothers will
not allow their children to visit so wont go themselves. Only people in youth stage will visit.
Passage One ends with word imagination which most people would like to experience.
Whereas passage two explains as if all real but in fact everyone knows it is just a ride. But
passage one is very much close to reality and is informative too thus would gain more
popularity.
(The candidate states clearly which passage is the more persuasive from the beginning of the
answer, and goes some way towards justifying this choice. She shows clear understanding of
4
Passage One, is alert to its intended audience and is aware of some aspects of its language and
style. Points are appropriate and aptly-substantiated. Understanding of Passage Two is apparent
as is an awareness of its intended audience. There is some animated response to it in line with
the question one point about style (which is commented on rather tenuously) and one
illustrative quotation (which is rather clumsily included). Overall, this answer just crept into the
top category with a mark of 6/8 which was the equivalent of a clear A Grade.)
OR
I think that Passage One presents the National Space Centre in a way which would definitely
persuade many members of the public to visit it. The title of this web-page is funny and
would appeal to teachers who were exhausted by a long day of trying to teach their pupils
Maths, Science and Technology! The conversational language would also appeal to pupils
who had been bored by the classroom lessons Be wowed by, Have a go at and its
more than a whole lot of fun make it sound conversational and something not to be missed.
The blue hyper-links give a short form of the passage and encourage everyone to find out
more about the NSC themselves. There are lots of questions in it (Looking for something a
bit different and Do you have what it takes to be an astronaut?) which would intrigue
the general public (you) and make them want to rise to the challenge. It even ends with the
word imagination which lets everyones minds wander into this thrilling space world.
Passage Two tries to be persuasive but it goes too far! There are so many descriptive words
like head-splitting, eye-watering, cheek-sucking and similar sounding words to describe
the same thing like grunts, gasps and growls that it sounds as if Walt Disney are selling it
too much. Also theres nothing more to gain from actually visiting it and it seems over-thetop.
Its a bit patronising (You dont even have to be a grown-up.) and you dont learn
anything, unlike at the NSC. It does include the actual words of the visitors which is good but
Id worry that I was one of those who left before it started because I do suffer from travel
sickness!
So, it would have to be the NSC for me and I think other members of the public they do
a great job in presenting their attraction in Passage One.
(This is an example of an outstanding answer in which the candidate responds personally and
with a great deal of perception to the content, mood and style of both passages. Points on
language, genre and intended audience are precise, relevant and aptly-substantiated revealing
that this pupil has a real flair for the subject. A clear 8/8 was awarded for this answer.
OR
I would choose Passage One because its easier to understand than Passage Two and much
shorter. The heading is in colour and this makes it more interesting. Its all about school and
learning to be an astronaut which would be helpful and it says Its more than a whole lot of
fun, however. We offer a range of educational programmes designed to help your pupils learn
about science, maths and technology. Whenever you book a visit so the language is really
good and not boring.

Passage Two is long and difficult with not easy to understand words which are boring for the
pupils. You really get to go to space which is dangerous for children if you havent been
before which you probably wont have done if your young. And bits like weightlessness of
space where a scene of velvety blackness are not so good for me. And the picture is of a real
plane and not an astronaut one although it is big which is good.
5
(The candidate addresses the question right at the start of this answer and makes a choice as to
which passage presents its attraction in the most persuasive way. However, although some
understanding of Passage One is shown, the justification of choice is very thin. Phrases such
as easier to understand, much shorter and really good and not boring are much too
general/simple to receive too much credit, and the quotation provides little insight. The
same is true of the comments on Passage Two although, here, the actual text has been
misunderstood in addition to this. The answer is not without relevance, a choice is made and
there is some understanding of the material. A mark of 2/8 was, therefore, awarded.)
OR
Passage Two is more attractive. Its descriptions are more catchy than Passage One. Passage
Two attracts the reader more because it describes the different reactions of the passengers and
it gives detailed descriptions of the capsule, it paints a better picture in the readers mind.
Even though Passage One attracts the reader through education, it stresses more on children
and their understanding of space. Compared to Passage Two, which welcomes the public of
all ages to be a part of this nail-biting experience. Passage One is too general as it shows
unimportance in the centre. Passage Two describes every detail of the mission to Space
from take-off to landing.
Passage Two has a more encouraging approach because it allows riders to experience the
whole journey and Passage Two has stronger proof that this virtual rocket feels close to
reality as they have interviewed the passengers that had rode on the capsule.
I think that Passage Two persuades the public better than Passage Two

I prefer Passage One, because it is more enjoyable to read. Passage One is very descriptive,
even literary, whereas Passage Two is much more factual and therefore does not describe
feelings or emotions, which Passage One does. The latter creates a very vivid impression of
the writers experiences, by describing the forest and its inhabitants in detail, and by including
references to the writers feelings (e.g. I was spellbound) and thoughts.
Passage One is also more focused on nature, and by reading it one gets a feel for the delicate
balance and the unknown, astonishing events that are always going on in nature, but which
people rarely get a chance to achieve at close hand. With the colourful language, carefully
chosen words and attention to detail, the writer manages to share this unique experience with
the reader. Text Two, in comparison, is rather cold and impersonal as it uses the third person
rather than the first person and is merely a brief and general account of a relatively wellknown
historical event. There is nothing unique or personal about it.
I prefer Text One, therefore, because it is more involved with the reader and you are more
likely to emerge somewhat changed or influenced by it, after having read it. It has the power
to make you think and marvel about nature, because it is described as magical and
unexpected. Text Two only tells you about an expedition made by humans, one of thousands
of other expeditions. And it shows a darker side of nature, when it describes the storms that
threatened the sailors lives. Text One takes a more positive view.
(The candidate states clearly which passage is preferred and outlines key differences between

the two with a certain degree of aplomb. The case is well-argued and full of perceptive,
personal response. She has appreciated the mood and overall effect of each piece, and makes
some appropriate comments on style. Observations on language needed to be a little more
focused at times and, therefore, a mark of 7/8 was awarded. The analysis of Passage One is
stronger than the analysis of Passage Two, but this is to be expected given the candidates
preference for it.)
4
OR
I would prefer the second passage because it is include:
- many historical information (when Magellan start and finish his first voyage around the
world how he succeed it with the dates, numbers of men and ships etc.).
- many geographical information (there is a map, so reading it, we can see the linking point
of the two oceans: the Atlantic and the Pacific and it says about what country is were in
the passage so we can image Seville, the Atlantic, South America, the Pacific, Philipines
and etc).
- it seems like a small history, so we start to be anxious about Magellans and his men luck
and about the finish of the travel as its important for mankind forever not just the sailors.
- it is a scientific text as it include words like commander or to circumnavigate the
globe, flagship and scurvy etc but it is still easy for everyone to understand it.
I would not prefer the first passage because:
- It is a text that might be included to the literature with colours A large blue butterfly
flapped lazily and comparings tea-coloured water etc.
- It describes Margaret Mee personal experience and it dont give you any information
about the moonflower. We only watch Margarets feelings about the moonflower.
- She uses a very rich vocabulary, but there is a hidden feeling beyond each word. So if we
havent like to explore the environment, this text would be boring for us.
- This text include many biographical characteristics as it is an extract from a diary and it is
possible not to be interested about it.
(The candidate begins well by identifying many important features of Passage Two and
indicating a clear preference for it. The commentary is detailed, makes reference to language
and style and constantly moves on to new ground. Discussion of Passage One is less secure,
becoming rather general and unsubstantiated during points three and four. However, some
valid points on style and genre are made in points one and two, and there are implied
comparisons with the preferred text. Although the candidates writing is not very accurate,
this makes no difference to the assessment of it as the meaning is always clear. A mark of 6/8
was awarded for this answer. Both this answer and the previous answer gained marks
equivalent to a clear Grade A.)

7. I would choose Passage Two in preference to Passage One because it is more relevant to the
title .The Challenge of Sport.. Passage Two focuses on one athlete . the famous Haile
Gebrselassie . and the numerous struggles he managed to overcome to achieve incredible
success. Passage One talks about many athletes who seem to have been great simply because
they were born in Ethiopia. There is no hint of the challenge of sport in the first passage. It
seems mainly concerned with the biological differences between Ethiopians and the rest of us.
The language is too scientific with references to .haemoglobin., .glucose. and .aerobic
ability.. There is also a lot of geographical information with lots of numbers, dates and maps.
However, in Passage Two, there is detailed, vivid reference to the life of a single athlete who
achieved world records and Olympic medals despite initial difficulties such as his mother and
sister dying. A lot is said about how this athlete surpassed many challenges and came out
successfully. It talks about how Haile Gebrselassie underwent a complete metamorphosis in

terms of wealth and fame and this would suggest to the reader that anyone could do the same.
The second passage contains extensive quoting because a lot of the things are said by the
athlete based on personal experience. He sounds such a cheerful person saying things like
.But it was not so bad, and we were happy. so this would make the reader want to meet him
and be inspired even more about the challenge of sport. This will raise the readers. interest
levels by a substantial amount. On the other hand, the first passage talks about solid facts and
figures which could eventually reduce the readers. interest.
(This candidate received a clear 6/6 for this answer. She addresses the task directly and
pertinently,
keeps her target audience in mind at all times and discusses both passages . in terms of their
content, mood, style and language . with individuality, personal engagement and flair.)
OR
I would use Passage One rather than Passage Two. Passage One is written as an article and
includes accounts of several champion runners. It gives details of these people, such as where
they came from and when and what they achieved. It shows that the challenge of sport is not
all down to personal determination but can depend on the differences between such things as
lung capacity and aerobic ability as a result of where you are born. Some readers might be
determined to rise to the challenge of not feeling giddy or sick if they trained at high altitude!
The geographical information, including the map, is interesting as is the technical information
about the human body. The writer does not look down on the reader. The language is
scientific yet simple enough for us to understand such as saying Ethiopian runners have
.bigger lungs and more red blood cells.. Passage Two on the other hand is written more as a
biography of a single runner rather than a selection of athletes, giving many personal details
about his dreadful life. It seems to be making the story too good to be true as if it didn.t really
happen like that. All in all, I think the reader would find it too personal to be in a collection of
pieces called the challenge of sport.
(This candidate was one of the minority who chose this passage, but explains his decision by
analysing the content, style, mood, language and overall effect of each piece extremely well. As
with the previous ca5