M ay & June 2006

Educate • Enlighten • Empower Volume XXI, Number 3

Art By Sherren Guthrie-McMath

Inside: Women’s Community Center

Page 3
Use Native Plants
In Your Garden
Page 9
Columns:
Cynic’s Corner
Page 5
NOW News
Page 4 Women Helping Women Part I Minding Your Business
Page 10 Page 5
Voices Around The Table:
Feminism Pages 6-7 Letter From Botswana Codepink
Page 11 Page 5
A Marriage Of Two Cultures
Page 8 Interview: Alexandra Sherwood Spirituality Matters
Page 11 Page 12
New Column:
The Wonder Of It All Community Bulletin Board Laura Hyde
Page 9 Pages 13-14 Page 12
Community Resources
Page 15
 Women’s Press
Kathleen’s
Letters to the Editor

Quill
Hello, everyone... plan on keeping their babies will lose their rights to
I am still in Spain living and teaching English and make decisions about their own pregnancy and deliv-
loving every new moment. Saturday, I had a scare and I ery. Read more about it in this well-written article by a
Kathleen Deragon
Managing Editor, Women’s Press wanted to share it with all of you so that we take in mind Sioux Indian: http://www.indiancountry.com/content.
managing-editor@womenspress-slo.org that we can never be too sure or safe and that we still are cfm?id=1096412594
seen as ¨typical¨ victims. I just keep thinking about all the beautiful little girls I
Thank you to everyone who helped our first fundraiser
I was finishing my transaction at an ATM and a man know, and how shameful it would be for them to grow up
be such a big success. Anyone who has planned a big event
walked in and locked the door behind him. He pushed in a country that considers their rights less important than
knows how much work it is: meetings, publicity, docu-
me against the wall and stuck a knife into my stomach to a man’s. In my heart I believe we are better than that. I
ment preparation, facilities setup, event planning! And I
scare me. He demanded my credit card and my money. I hope you will do your part.
am humbled by the dedication and hours spent by all the
screamed and became hysterical. I told him flat out ¨NO¨ —Thea Deley
women who made our first fundraiser so successful.
and he insisted, but told me he didn’t want to harm me
Heather Mendel, who conceived of the event, held all the
and that he would put the knife away if I just took out the Thank you for selecting for publication in your March-
meetings at her home, headed the publicity committee as
card and money. I again said no and proceeded to shout April issue my brief response to Heather Mendel’s new
well as prepared the opening and closing remarks that left
at him that I would call the police and I would scream series, Spiritually Matters. I find her writing engaging and
us all with much to ponder.
harder if he didn’t leave me alone. He eventually just gave thoughtful—inviting a dialogue with the reader.
Barbara Atkinson, our registration maven, who took on
up and turned around and walked out. I would like to say I feel my reference to Martin Buber’s “I and Thou” re-
the thankless task of scheduling and recordkeeping for the
to all of you -- stay safe and be cautious. We are seen as ally needs a little expanding. His book has become a clas-
workshops and took care of the “housekeeping” on the day
victims even though, as in my case, we have the courage sic, used as an inspiration throughout the world. I studied
of the event.
to act out against the stereotype. I thank all of you and it in a philosophy class in 1964. Buber perceives “relation”
Kate Czekala, who decorated the main room, selected
especially my WC pals at Cal Poly and the Women’s Press as the primary process thought all life. He deals with two
the perfect background music, created signage, and provid-
and SARP and everyone in NOW for the training and the major ways human being relate—I-It and I-Thou: The I-It
ed a unique solution for guiding attendees to the workshops
talks and the support. This situation happened suddenly, refers to our need to “use” the other. We mostly take from
with the banners along the Avenue of the Goddesses.
but my reaction was based on my training and the many the other thing or person to meet our worldly needs. There
Janise Rennie and Alyson LeBlanc, who conducted the
stories I have heard. I don’t think I am brave or valiant, is a subject/object connection, a one-way, seldom-equal
amazing opening and closing ceremonies that gave us all a
I think I was lucky enough to know deep down how I exchange between them. It is required of us and appropri-
unique and powerful experience with the power of ritual.
should handle the situation based on my instincts. Because ate in the demands of existence.
Roberta Youtan Kay, who gathered literature related to
of that, I am writing to you all. Please take this seriously. The I-thou is more subtle, spiritual, with a subject/
organizations of interest to women for our Resources Table.
Besos y Abrazos, Tyler Aldrich subject dynamics. It is a give-and-take, a mostly equal
Beverly Engel, whose Sacred Circle was the ideal way to
exchange of their whole being. There is a transforming
reflect on our day and recall the power of women in a circle.
Regarding the South Dakota bill outlawing abortion, magnetic field “in between” both. When the relationship
Vidya Cicchini, whose playing of her Native American
- even in the cases of incest and rape, and the fact that is with God, Buber refers to it as I-and-The Eternal Thou.
flutes was the perfect background for our luncheon.
there are 16 other states considering bills similar to South I appreciate a chance to follow up on my earlier quote.
Simone Viola and Nancy Brown, who donated scholar-
Dakota’s: — Hilda Heifetz
ship money.
Aside from the obvious restrictions to reproductive
And all the workshop presenters, who also did their part
choices, there’s a frightening side effect to giving fetuses
in publicizing the event: Bailey Drechsler, Lorie Adoff,
more rights than grown women. Pregnant women who
Laura Hyde, Barbara Perry, Bonnie Sandecki, Kate Czekala,
Janise Rennie, Alyson LeBlanc, Kate Czekala, and Heather
Mendel.
I also want to thank local businesses and persons who Subscribe to the Women’s Press: The annual subscription fee for delivery of the Women’s Press by U.S. Mail is
donated or discounted goods for the event: Outspoken $20/year (six issues). Mail check to Women’s Community Center, 880 Industrial Way, San Luis Obispo,CA 93401. Write
Beverage Bistro, Susan Polk Insurance Agency, and Trader “Women’s Press subscription” on the memo line.
Joe’s; the Gryphon Society for help transporting and setting
up chairs; and Simone Viola’s daughter and friends for
directing traffic and generally being there to help out as Women’s Community Center Board
needed. Angie King, President
Your Opinion
What’s next … Wanted
Dawn Williams, Secretary
We will follow up the retreat with some discussion events
held at the same location as the retreat. Kathleen Deragon Send your letters to :
We hope to begin a film series this fall. Susan Howe Women’s Press–Your Opinion
We will be collaborating with Cal Poly Women’s Center Sue McMeans Women’s Community Center
on a fall event and begin having with them Intergenera- Andy McMeans 880 Industrial Way
tional Conversation sessions. San Luis Obispo, CA 93401
Jan Potter
The Women’s Press website will keep you posted between Send eMail to :
Renee Sanpei managing-editor@womenspress-slo.org
issues, so check there periodically.

Kathleen
Peace,
Robin Werderits ( “Your Opinion” in subject line)
Karol Vogt

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Thanks for supporting Family Law Action Committee

Women’s Press!
Temptress
Dealing With Divorce
3rd Wednesday of each month – 7 PM
Kaye Tift, Susan Rodriguez, Upcoming: May 17, June 21, July 19
Pat Soulliere-Ochylski Our mission is: Talk with other women who have been there, done that in a

Chanteuse
• TO maintain an accessible center to collect and supportive, non-judgmental environment. $5 donation
exchange information of interest and concern to Self-Represented Litigants’ Clinic
Shirley Clark Herbel
women 4th Tuesday of each month – 5:30 PM
Wonder Woman x2
• TO organize and facilitate workshops, clinics, Upcoming: May 23, June 27, July 25
seminars, classes and support groups on subjects of Get family law advice from local attorneys and/or paralegals.
Chris Neiburger Reservations required $25 donation
interest and need

Diva
Adele Stern Call the WCC- for more information
• TO engage in and facilitate interaction among local,
state and national agencies and organizations working and to confirm dates: 805.544.9313
Margaret Hennessey to benefit women

One of the Women’s Community Center’s activities is courtwatching, in
which trained volunteers observe and document family law cases, building a
rapport with the courts with which we can advocate for change. Here is one
person’s story, with names changed.
A Court Watch Sample
By Susan Howe
The atmosphere in the courtroom was electric. Custody was reversed.
The request had been made to the judge by Steph, the divorced mother
of Tanya, representing herself in family court, to have her 16-year-old
daughter back in her custody. The father, Angus, had had her for 8 years.
He did not appear in court.
 Steph made charges that the father was unfit for several reasons
including methamphetamine use and sale in the home, and possession of
and involvement of children in pornography.
The court awarded Tanya to Steph and she could pick her up at school
as soon as she could get there. Angus had two houses at this point (would
hide from Steph where Tanya was located) and had Tanya in school in
Visalia. The court called the school, told them of the custody change, and
they promised to detain Tanya under some pretense until her mom could
get there.
It all happened fast and was my first experience as a court watcher to
see such a dramatic outcome. I introduced myself to Steph and she was
pleased to know that this service was available to her. I got her phone
number so that I could follow up.
When I talked to Steph a few days later, she was distraught. The same
judge had reversed the order and police had picked up Tanya after 3
days. Three policemen were needed to get Tanya in their car. Angus had
requested with a legal document that the child be returned. He alleged
various short comings of Steph, for none of which did he give examples,
just generally “being highly unstable.” Nothing could I find in my read-
ing of that document that stated a viable cause for the decision that was
made.
At the next court appearance, I had an opportunity to meet Steph’s
mate, a woman, who had gone through with her the past 10 years of fam-
ily court struggles. She impressed me as warm, down to earth, and stable
with a history of long-time employment in a State job. However, I had to
wonder if this was the factor that had caused the court’s abrupt reversal.
Angus went to jail and is serving concurrent sentences for 8 months for
intent to sell methamphetamine to minors, drugs in the house, and child
porno. Steph reports that Tanya now has a chance to “be a teenager and
not have to take care of everyone around her. We take care of her. Her
only concern should be school and friends.” She goes on to say that she
is doing well in school, is adjusting and they started counseling together.
Tanya earned a Varsity letter in swimming and is developing increasing
self esteem. 
Check
www.womenspress-slo.org
for upcoming events!
Applications Being Taken for
32nd Annual
Day With Creative Women
First Annual Women’s Press Retreat
Fundraiser a Success
Over seventy women gathered on Saturday, April 29, for the first
annual retreat fundraiser for the Women’s Press.
Beginning and ending with ceremony, lead by Janise Rennie,
Native American Spiritual Leader, and Alyson LeBlanc, African
Sangoma Healer, the day sought to bring women together to ponder
our roles as women in the world and the potential we have to
change the future of the planet. Keynote speaker Heather Mendel
addressed this topic in her opening and closing remarks, From the
Outer World, Inwards and From the Inner World, Outwards.
Workshops during the day included topics such as Contempla-
tive, Responsive Woman; Gentle Yoga with Quartz Crystal Singing
Bowls; Reinventing Eve; Dropping Into Source, Embodied Sexual-
ity, and Creating a Soulful Relationship with Yourself. Before the
final ceremony, we sat in a sacred circle, a focused completion led by
Beverly Engel, noted author and co-creator with Dr. Jean Shinoda
Bolen of the “The Millionth Circle” movement.
Thank you to all who attended and gave us your feedback on the
event. Be assured that we will have a Second Annual Retreat next
year.
“...Wherever women with a sense of sisterhood and maternal concern
gather, the message will be received. This is not about replacing patriar-
chy with matriarchy...women generally have a wisdom that is needed.
It is time to gather the women and save the world.
– Jean Shinoda Bolen
When: August 12th, 10:00- 5:00
Where: Mission Plaza
Food, fun, music, entertainment, arts, and crafts.
Meet artisans, do early Christmas shopping.
To rent a space, call 544-9313 for an application.

Wanted: Volunteer counselor

Cover Art
If you would like to see the women’s community served by a vital drop-in group for support and
discussion, call us.
The Women’s Community Center would like to offer such a group weekly at no cost so that
women with a need to be listened to by other women have a place to do that. It is a volunteer
evening spot, and may be shared by two women counselors who could rotate the responsibility. Sherren Guthrie-McMath has been working and
Please phone 544 9313 if you are interested. experimenting with aqua media for years. She doesn’t
start with anything in particular in mind. Her work
comes from her inner being, her soul brought to
Mark your calendar! live on canvas. Guthrie-McMath is known for her
Join us for some fun! texture, strong design, and vibrant colors. For more
information, go to www.sherrenguthriemcmath.com.
On Saturday, June 10, Sunset Car Wash on Broad Street in SLO
will donate 15% of its proceeds for the day to the Women’s Com-
munity Center.
We need people to make signs and be there for two-hour
shifts between 8 and 5:30.
Call us to sign up: 544-9313.

Women’s Press May/June 2006 E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org Page 

Coordinator’s
Corner
By Angie King
You might have noticed that the phone
number for NOW hasn’t been operable
for some time. We apologize to those who
might have tried to contact the chapter.
Please contact us through our e-mail ad-
dress: slonow@kcbx.net. Or join us at our
myspace account: http://groups.myspace.
com/~slonow.
Here are some random thoughts on
different topics “celebrated” at this time
of year.
May 1, International Worker’s Day,
celebrates the beginnings of the modern
labor movement. On May 1, 1886 more
than 300,000 workers walked off their
jobs across America to demand an 8-hour
workday.
May 6 is celebrated as International
No-Diet Day, a time for women, in par-
ticular, to re-think their relationship with
their body and with food. One-third of all
American women wear a size 16 or larger,
so why do models of women’s clothing all
weigh less than 100 pounds and wear a
size 4? What does that say about who we
actually are and who the fashion industry
and their allies want us to think we ought
to be?
Mother’s Day was originally conceived
as a day to honor women whose husbands
and sons had been killed in the US Civil
War, and soon became a protest against
war in general. The relationship between
motherhood, peace, and social justice
was clear to the women who began this
movement. However, by WWI, the florist
and card industry had successfully turned
the meaning away from that end towards
“motherhood.” However nice it is to
receive flowers, poor, unemployed mothers
need childcare, job training, health care, a
higher minimum wage, and paid parental
leave a lot more.
Now about our NOW chapter. We have
been active this spring. We were present
in numbers at the Code Pink action on
the 3rd anniversary of the start of the Iraq
invasion. We had a table at Farmer’s Mar-
ket every week during March for Women’s
History Month (except when it was rained
out) with a quiz to help enlighten the pub-
lic about women’s history. I played Eleanor
Roosevelt for the Lucia Mar elementary
schools “Women in History” program
through AAUW (to much critical ac-
claim). We had representatives at the Cesar
Chavez Day fair in Santa Maria celebrat-
ing the diversity that is essential “not only
to the workplace, but to life in the United
States.” “We just want to be a part of that
diversity,” said NOW’s Sarah Bolin in the
Santa Maria Times. Go Sarah!
On the horizon: Pride Day in the Plaza
(July 11); National NOW convention (July
21-23); Day with Creative Women (August
12); Women’s Equality Day (August 26).
See you out there!
NOW Chapter # CA 565
PO Box 1306, SLO, CA 93406
SLONOW @ kcbx.net
Page 
The purpose of NOW is to bring women into full participation in the mainstream of American society NOW !
NOW’s Commitment to Same-Sex Marriage
The primary relationship society has
come to expect is committed sexual partner-
ships between adults. This issue focusing on
feminism seemed like the opportune time to
discuss some of the most blatant discrimina-
tory effects of denying same sex couples the
benefits of a civil, state-sanctioned marriage.
The right wing has used equal marriage for
same sex-couples as a wedge issue to divide
groups and further oppress women based
upon gender stereotypes and fear.
NOW’s first policy statement declaring
lesbian rights a feminist issue was in 1971.
Our official support for equal marriage
came in 1995, when NOW launched a series
of Valentine’s Day actions around this issue.
Here in San Luis Obispo, we invited the
media to join us as we brought valentines
to the county recorder’s office and assisted
a local lesbian couple asking for a marriage
certificate. We were, of course, rebuffed.
Marriage is the least expensive option
couples have to gain access to the economic
benefits of society. Spouses inherit each
other’s estates without the need for intri-
cate and expensive wills and estate plans;
make medical decisions for a partner if
s/he becomes incapacitated; live together in
assisted-living facilities and nursing homes;
make burial or other final arrangements
for each other. Same sex partners must
undertake specific and often, complex estate
plans to secure some measure of economic
and legal protection for themselves and their
families. However, this does not ensure full
Campaign against Wal-Mart: The
lawsuit alleging sex-based job discrimination
was certified as a class action and is proceed-
ing. Demonstrations continue against spe-
cific stores. Wal-Mart recently was forced to
agree to fill birth control and morning-after
NOW Calendar
May 1:
International Workers’ Day
May 1:
Birthday of Mary Harris “Mother Jones,”
labor activist, 1830
May 15:
Birthday of Florence Nightingale, 1858
May 16:
NOW regular meeting, 6 PM
May 22:
Amelia Earhart flies Pacific Ocean solo,
1932
May 23:
Birthday of Aileen Hernandez, former
NOW president, 1926
May 28:
Equal Pay Act enacted, 1963
June is Pride Month
June 11:
First women promoted to Army general,
1970
June 19:
Juneteenth, anniversary of the
Emancipation Proclamation
June 20:
NOW regular meeting, 6 PM
June 22:
Birthday of Sen. Dianne Feinstein, 1933
June 23:
Title IX, banning sex discrimination in
education enacted, 1972
June 28:
NOW founded, 1966
E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org
National Organization for Women
marriage equality and the legal fees often
make these plans inaccessible to poor and
working class same-sex couples.
These are the rights LGBT couples lose in
the absence of legal marriage recognition:
• Right to cohabitate in public housing
units; take family leave to care for a partner
during an illness; take bereavement leave if
your partner or one of your partner’s close
relatives dies; access Social Security after a
spouse’s death, disability, or retirement.
• Divorce laws that protect both mem-
bers of the relationship and minimize the
power of one partner to keep the other in an
abusive situation.
• Obtaining residency as the spouse of a
U.S. citizen without a long legal battle.
• Adopting the children of their spouses
easily and cheaply, which also increases the
financial security of the children.
• Tax-free dependent health benefits as
a married couple. An unmarried couple is
taxed on the value of the benefits.
• Right to file jointly. Married couples
in which one partner has a much higher in-
come pay significantly less tax than similarly
situated unmarried couples.
• Social Security protections. Social
Security protects married couples and their
families, including spouses and children,
against a variety of risks including disability,
death of a working or retired spouse or par-
ent, among others. Yet no survivor benefits,
including spousal benefits and disability
benefits, are available to same-sex couples
NOW News
prescriptions. Maryland passed a law requir-
ing box stores to spend at least 8 percent of
their payroll on healthcare for employees.
National convention: NOW is returning
to New York State, home of the movement
for women’s suffrage, for its 40th national
convention, July 21-23. All members of
NOW, as of March 26, are eligible to be a
delegate. Please contact us (at our e-mail) if
you are interested in attending. Check out
the programs of activities on the NOW web-
site. There are scholarships for Young Feminists
(under age 30). The national convention
adopts policy for the coming year.
NOW activists on the front line in
the fight to save women’s lives: Already
legislatures in many states are setting up a
showdown on abortion rights with the ulti-
mate goal of reversing Roe. South Dakota
was simply the first. NOW leaders in states
around the country are mobilizing activists
and leading the fight in front of statehouses
and inside hearing rooms. In Mississippi,
the legislature has added language to a
pending bill that would effectively ban legal
abortion in the state. Mississippi has only
one abortion clinic and some of the most
restrictive anti-abortion laws in the country.
Activists are organizing visibility events,
maintaining a presence in the committee
meetings, and mobilizing phone calls to leg-
islatures hoping to keep the legislation from
going to conference committee, leaving it to
die this session.
Tennessee NOW is fighting a proposed
amendment to Tennessee’s constitution that
would force women, including victims of
rape and incest, to continue an unwanted
pregnancy. According to Cynthia Bennett,
Nashville NOW, “Tennessee’s Supreme
Court has ruled that the people of this
state have an explicit right to privacy. It is
Every woman doesn’t have to join NOW, just the 125 million who are discriminated against!
and their children. Also, same-sex partners
cannot draw on the Social Security of their
deceased partner. For the average wage
earner, Social Security insurance benefits
are equivalent to a $322,000 life insurance
policy or $233,000 in disability insurance.
• Immigration benefits. A foreign-born
national has a right to a green card when
married to an American citizen or legal
permanent resident. The spouse may then
obtain a work permit and eventually become
a U.S. citizen. These spousal rights even
trump the United States’ ban on immi-
gration for HIV+ individuals. Same-sex
partners are denied these rights under
immigration law.
• Economic and medical protections for
children and families. Marriage protects the
economic interests of children by providing
them an economic safety net. Both parents
have the right to make important medical
decisions for their children in case of emer-
gency without written documentation.
• Death-of-a-spouse benefits. Spouses
receive some financial security through
inheritance laws, not only for the surviving
spouse, but for the children as well. Without
a will in a same-sex partnership, the inheri-
tance most likely will go to a relative or to
the state. The same-sex partner is treated as
a stranger.
For more details on this and related top-
ics, visit the NOW web page at now.org.
outrageous that Tennessee politicians now
want the women of Tennessee to give up our
constitutional right to make private deci-
sions about our own bodies.
NOW opposes bans on vaginal birth
after caesarean (VBAC): Last December
the NOW National Board adopted a resolu-
tion supporting a woman’s right to make
reproductive choices including Vaginal
Birth After Caesarean (VBAC), opposing
legislation and public policy that would
restrict women’s access to VBAC. VBAC
has repeatedly been shown to be a safe and
reasonable choice for women; especially
since unnecessary cesareans pose serious
risks to mothers and to the infant. Yet over
300 hospitals within the United States have
banned VBAC, and it has been reported
that some women seeking care in hospitals
that ban VBAC have been forcibly anes-
thetized and C-sectioned when they try to
withhold consent to surgery.
NOW applauds reintroduction of Free-
dom of Choice Act: Sen. Barbara Boxer
has introduced the Freedom of Choice Act
(S. 2593, H. R. 5151) to codify the holdings
in Roe v. Wade. The bill is short and to the
point. “It is the policy of the United States
that every woman has the fundamental
right to choose to bear a child, to terminate
a pregnancy prior to fetal viability, or to
terminate a pregnancy after fetal viability
when necessary to protect the life or health
of the woman.” The bill prohibits a govern-
ment from denying or interfering with a
woman’s right to make these decisions and
prohibits discrimination against the exercise
of those rights in the regulation or provision
of benefits, facilities, services, or informa-
tion. The bill creates a right for appropriate
relief (including relief against a government)
in a civil action for violations of this section.
Women’s Press May/June 2006

Womennovators
MIND YOUR BUSINESS
By Andrea Zeller
Amy Kardel, a local business
owner, succinctly said: ”Today’s
global business climate is too com-
petitive not to leverage everyone’s
potential and enlist every bit of
talent it can.”
Ten years ago the U.S.
Government’s Glass Ceiling
Commission released its findings
that while women had 46 percent
of America’s jobs and more than
half the master’s degrees being
awarded, only 5 percent of all se-
nior manager positions were filled
by women. And female manag-
ers’ earnings averaged a mere 68
percent of their male counterparts.
Today, women are 47 percent of
America’s workforce and 8 percent
of senior managers. Females’
earnings average just 72 percent of
their male colleagues -- with the
wage gap even larger among highly
educated groups.
Women hold powerful but
largely latent potential to sustain
and propel our regional economy
through today’s competitive
global business climate. Innovation
combined with entrepreneurship
offer women a solution to the
glass ceiling and other economic
hardships, especially for those
with good experience and educa-
tion. There is absolutely no reason
to be locked in below the glass
ceiling today. In fact, we need to
recognize and acknowledge that
women’s potential is critical to
our economic survival!
Over the last 12 years, small
Cynic's Corner
By Delores Del Rio
Life was once easy. In the olden
days on TV, I could count on the
good guys always wearing white
hats and the bad guys wearing
black ones. I grew up thinking
that people advertised who they
were. It was easy, and it worked for
me. Apparently, it worked for oth-
ers, too. Doesn’t require too much
thinking, and takes the guesswork
out of living.   are going on beneath the ‘white
For me, life is more complicated
now. It’s all screwed up. Nice
people wear black and white; evil
ones also wear black and white.
Women’s Press May/June 2006
Local Perspectives
firms created over 65% of new jobs
in the U.S. And, across the U.S.,
the number of women-owned
firms has grown at twice the rate
of all other firms. Even more im-
pressive, minority women-owned
firms have increased six times
faster than the number of all U.S.
firms (55% vs 9%). Additionally,
increases in employment and sales
are highest amongst women and
minority owned firms.
But are these women innova-
tors? Where are the womennova-
tors??
Statistics show small firms
are more innovative than large
businesses. Small firms produce
twice as many product innovations
and 13 - 14 times more patents
per employee than their larger
counterparts. But what percent-
age of these innovative firms is
women-owned? In 1996, only 9.2%
of patents issued were to women.
It seems to me, women are way
under performing when it comes
to innovation. Is that a factor of
the glass ceiling, or is it because
women are not as aggressive in
promoting their ideas as men? I
believe many would agree there
lots of room for women to expand
and be innovative!! Inventors need
entrepreneurial skills. Women’s
Business Partners exists to leverage
resources and enrich lives through
entrepreneurship, especially for
women, because we recognize
that’s where our community’s
latent economic potential sits.
Give us a call today!
Andrea Zeller, Executive Director
of Mission Community Services,
coordinates Women’s Business
Partners (WBP) to ensure all
community resources are lever-
aged and optimized to support
entrepreneurial women. WBP
serves everyone interested in es-
tablishing self-sufficiency through
small business ownership while
primarily focusing assistance
towards socially and economically
disadvantaged women. WBP
can take you step by step towards
success and can help those who
speak only Spanish. Visit www.
MCSCorp.org or call 595-1357 to
find out more.
“They smile to your face…
the back-stabbers”***
Occasionally, you might find
people driving sun-colored gas-
guzzling Hummers or oversized
Red-Baron Mercedes; they sport
ear-to-ear smiles, and clichéd
good-Christian doctrine. You
might think to yourself “These
people should be wearing white
hats.” Ah, but look again. Look
closer. Sometimes, insidious things
hat’ veneer.   so-and-so great guy’ believes the
Sometimes these people are
your neighbors, your acquain-
tances, your family, your co-work-
By Dian Sousa
SLO Code Pink takes its refrain
for May from poet/activist Julia
Ward Howe’s passionate and
unfortunately timely Mother’s Day
Proclamation: “Arise then, women
of this day…[because] we will not
have great questions decided by
irrelevant agencies.”
Cindy Sheehan, Medea
Benjamin, Diane Wilson, and a
multigenerational tide of other
heroic, creative women and coura-
geous men have arisen and are
arising daily to help reclaim our
neglected country from the aging
claws of an increasingly irrelevant,
senile, and hardhearted patriarchy.
Our current administration rules
with an archaic, Machiavellian
machismo so bloated by money,
power, and its terrible refashion-
ing of God as a narrow-minded,
woman-hating, fascist ogre, it has
lost the ability to love and care for
its people and its planet. (Been to
New Orleans or a public school?
Seen any icebergs lately?) The SLO
Consider the Price of the Clothes on Our Backs
By Dawn E. Williams
A friend recently forwarded to
me an excerpt from an economic
letter of eight pages from the web
site of the Federal Reserve Bank
of Dallas entitledApparel Exports
and Education: How Developing
Nations Encourage Women’s Edu-
cation. This piece reminded me of
what I have been told often, that
“statistics don’t lie, but liars can
use statistics.” One quote from this
article is particularly disturbing:
“With the dismantling of the Mul-
tifiber Arrangement in January
2005, the last quotas on clothing
exports were lifted-except against
China.” (Italics are mine.) Further,
in the World Trade Organization
“…negotiators are considering a
proposal to lift tariffs on all ex-
ports from the world’s 70 poorest
ers, or worse, your employers.
You greet them in stores, places
of worship, political arenas and
at social functions. As soon as the
social rhetoric begins, their scowls
fade, and their public personas
take over; the ‘white hat’ is thrown
on for good measure for an in-
stant, an hour or longer, if needed.
Everyone leaves thinking ‘what a
great guy so-and-so is’. Even ’the
feedback, and is content that he
pulled off another ‘white hat’ trick.
Problem is this: when the
E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org
SLO Code Pink
Code Pink not-so-secret-word for
May and for the rest of the millen-
nium is Matriarchy.
Here are a few actions we either
have or will be taking to help
usher in the change:
The good news is that we now
have our own website.
www.slocodepink.org
It gives updates on all our
actions, meeting place, dates and
times. Please check it out when
you have the chance and as always,
join us when you can.
A Code Pink chapter is forming
in Santa Maria. Contact: Chris-
tina Renfroe (805) 570-7533 or
e-mail her @christinarenfroe@
yahoo.com. This organization, like
SLO Code Pink, is a nationally
affiliated group.
May 6th & 7th —
The artist Patty Mara Gourley,
the generous Matron Saint of SLO
Code Pink will have a booth (#26)
at the Halcyon Craft Faire. You
can also find her and her gorgeous
art at Live Oaks Art Walk, June
countries.” (emphasis mine)
To quote again from the above
referenced letter, “Female work-
ers’ commitment to seek more
education delays childbearing
and lowers the incidence of child
labor.” The complete report can be
found at http://dallasfed.org/re-
search/eclett/2006/e10603.html.
In contrast, an AOL search
or a Google search for “garment
workers in Asia’” will link you to
numerous articles and books by
objective researchers that refute
the implied claim that young
women garment workers in
developing countries are well-
treated, once you have scrolled
down past articles on fashion
and/or companies that sellwomen’s
clothing. Well, garment workers in
these countries are “well treated’’
cameras are off and the curtain
falls; when the party is over and
the crowd leaves; when the ego
stroking ends; … that is when
the “back-stabber’s” smile fades,
good manners fail, and avarice and
indifference become the norm. In
other words, the ‘black hat’ comes
on when in the company of those
considered, by them, to be the
‘disposable’ people.
 When the “back stabbers” take
away your money, your jobs, your
reputations; when they promote
their agendas at your expense;
when they use trickery to get what
they want; when they accuse you
of being the reason for their bad
behaviors; when they use scare
16 -18, and at Art in the Park,
Dinosaur Caves (Shell Beach) on
the first Sundays of June, July, and
August. Please give her your sup-
port and buy something beautiful.
You can also find her work at
DolphinSmile Studio, Halcyon or
contact her @
www.gourleydesign.com
May 14th —
Mother’s Day we will meet in
the Mission Plaza at 5 p.m. for a
reading of Julia Ward Howe’s 1870
Mother’s Day Proclamation. Please
bring your family and join us in
this short, but inspiring celebra-
tion of the true power of Mother’s
Day.
May 16th –18th
Arlington West Comes to
Dexter Lawn on the Cal Poly
Campus, sponsored by the Poly
Greens. Code Pink will be there
to help set up and take down the
crosses. Speech and dedication will
take place Wednesday May 17th
at 7 p.m.
if you consider concentration-type
compounds, barracks dormitories,
twelve hour days/six days per
week, and forced abortions to be
“good” treatment. Any young
woman who protests is fired and
returned to her province or coun-
try of origin, where she cannot
earn the $18 per month that is an
average wage in the sweat shops.
Think of this the next time you
shop at The Gap, Old Navy, Wal-
Mart, or any other international
corporation outlet or buy Liz
Claiborne or other designer label
clothing, or those expensive shoes
assembled with noxious chemicals,
which the child laborers breathe
all day. For further information,
consult the Internet or back issues
of Ms. Magazine at the library.
tactics to pervade your sense of
security; when they arbitrarily
change their direction without
your needs in mind due to their
apathy about you; when they
refuse to give you what you need
and deserve -- that is when you
know that this is a more complex
life than just the color of your hat
or whether or not you have a smile
on your face.
 Are these people evil? No.
The Bible says something like …
Forgive them, for they know not
what they do. But, in general,
“They smile to your face … the
back-stabbers”. God love ‘em!
 *** Excerpted from the song “The
Back Stabbers” by the O’Jays.
Page 

Voices Around the Table
What does feminism mean to you?
Jacqueline Turner
Webster’s defines an ism as “an act or
movement, doctrine or system of belief”;
it defines feminine as “characteristic of or
relating to women.”
 Therefore, feminism is a movement,
or belief system, which relates to women,
and which advocates political, economic
and social equality of the sexes. When one
combines a strong Movement with a power-
ful Belief, one can get an understanding of
Feminism.
Am I feminist? Absolutely! The women’s
feminism movement has empowered and
confused me throughout my life … it has
been hard being a woman who loves men.
My Baby-Boomer generation expected
women to embrace the idealized I can have
it all and do it all- type of woman, and glori-
fied the rejection of men as a group. That
concept of feminism never made sense to
me. I knew that, collectively, women needed
to grow and develop healthier self-esteem,
but without respect and love for all hu-
man beings, a person’s self-worth cannot
truly progress. In other words, to diminish
one group (men) is to diminish all groups
(women).
I do not want to be treated like a man! I
love being a woman, and I love the dif-
ference in the sexes. Vive la difference! It
is what makes the world exciting, sexy,
playful and challenging. Men are big, hairy,
lumbering animals who love/hate/need/want
women from cradle to grave, and who want
to impress women for many biologically
based reasons. The Lion as King of the
Jungle! Tarzan! Adam! Put me in a room of
women only, and I am intelligent, friendly,
and kind. Throw me into a room full of
men, and I become witty, raw, and some-
what in charge of my physical woman-ness.
So, to me … feminism means being a
whole woman: sensual, exciting, interesting,
creative, nurturing, hard working, respon-
sible, assertive, attractive and powerful.
It combines all the wonderful qualities of
every human being, and all the rewards that
should come to everyone … equally and
equitably. Period.
Page 
Local Perspectives
Dawn Ortiz Legg
I see Feminism in a historical perspec-
tive. It was the necessary step in human
evolution for women to regain their power
and balance out the energetic levels of our
universe. From centuries of male domina-
tion, patriarchal rulers have left our world
“out-of-whack.” Therefore, a bold and
liberating feminism had to be extreme.
However, I see this phase now evolving into
a total matriarchal leadership because, for
me personally, feminism has limitations in
that our greatest power - our femininity - is
often excluded or denied. While I certainly
appreciate the sacrifice and path of those
who have gone before my generation, I do
not like using the word to describe myself.
In today’s world, I believe a feminine-
based foreign policy is what is our country
needs the very most for its future. Not one
that excludes men, but one that embraces
their strengths while we lead the way. The
men are ready and so are we.  And so is the
planet!
Heather Mendel
I define feminism as the contemporary
societal value of honoring ‘The Other’,
whatever ‘otherness’ may mean in terms of
gender, race, religion or creed. If one consid-
ers the opposite (out of which this view
evolves), the hierarchical patriarchy has been
responsible for developing ‘societal norms’,
which classify the white heterosexual male
as the standard. Everyone else - men of
color, homosexuals, and women, are strati-
fied on varying lower and less significant
levels of importance. With my definition of
honoring otherness, anyone, male or female,
who is able to celebrate diversity instead of
fear difference, is a feminist. In a feminist
society, equal status, rights, opportunity
are universally open to all in a spiritually
mature environment.
E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org
Get Beyond the Labels
A twenty-something’s thoughts on feminism
Jaymi Heimbuch
The biggest challenge facing the women’s
movement today is the biggest challenge
facing younger women activists – labels.
There is the tiniest bit of wiggle room
where we as feminists can squeeze in and
feel effective as activists. That space is where
we know what it is we want to do, how we
want to do it, and that what we are doing is
right, necessary, and accepted. The chal-
lenge is hunting down this wiggle room.
You know you have found it when you have
figured out how to be feminist without be-
ing a “Feminist.”
“Feminist” is a shackle to wear – it is
stifling and counterproductive because it
shakes fear into the white and well-off, and
it entices anger in women of color because
it has historically been a label held by the
white and well-off. “Feminist” is a label that
takes a lot of chutzpah and a specific set of
goals to wear. Not every female activist can
adopt this label. Most don’t seem to want to.
And there is such an array of new labels for
women-who-want-to-help-women (ha!) that
go beyond “Feminist,” yet are still mystical
and exclusive in their own right.
It is human nature to name things in
order to understand them. Younger women
activists need to find comfort in naming
just what it is we’re doing individually and
collectively in order to start the bullhorn up
again and be feminist. This requires pushing
from within the women’s movement, with
the strength of the women’s movement
behind us, outward into the hetero-sexist-
racist-ethnocentric-anti-environmental-cor-
porate society in which we exist, pushing on
the women’s movement to expand itself, in
order to expand our society to represent and
respect us all.
The biggest challenge facing the women’s
movement is getting younger women to
understand that being part of the women’s
movement is not a stigma. Being feminist
is not difficult or scary or isolating. It is not
even based entirely on being female, on sex.
Ultimately, all women’s movement labels
and actions lead both back to feminism
– which is ultimately female-oriented
thought - and away to a multitude of ever
more specific topics – environment, an-
thropology, sexology, psychology, race, civil
rights, civility, civilization. The search for
the wiggle room where we can be effective
as feminist activists starts with reminding
ourselves that we are part of a massive soci-
ety, so far beyond labels it’s ridiculous to try
and pin a few down, let alone be scared by
them, and that any movement – the ability
to move – requires broadening that tiniest
bit of wiggle room into a more inclusive
civilization, well away from labels. Because
feminism is beyond labels – it’s an explana-
tion. It’s beyond activism – it’s a movement.
Susan Howe
Feminism is the right of a female to be
held as an equal to a male.This is equality
in all basic human rights and privileges, as
well as responsibilities. It is woman having
all her decisions about her life respected as
valid, whether or not we agree with them.
Feminism encourages females’ accomplish-
ments in whatever they can or wish to do or
be without being considered a threat.
Yvonne Helms
Feminism to me means standing up for
the rights of women and doing what we can
to advance the rights of women, in all areas.
Anne R. Allen
During the first blast of Feminism in
the early 1970s, I worked in a bookstore in
Cambridge, Mass., pining over Ivy Leagu-
ers and writing bad prose in cafes. When
a gorgeous Harvard man asked if I was
writing The Great American Novel, I made
an attempt at wit: “I don’t think Vonnegut
or Kesey have to worry, but maybe it’s The
Great American Feminist Novel.”
The guy’s face crumpled like I’d hit him.
Before I could speak, he’d evaporated.
Since then I’ve been careful how I use the
“F” word.
Obviously, the word meant something
very different—and much scarier—to Mr.
Gorgeous than it meant to me. Now, with
the radio shriekers polluting the airwaves
with words like “Feminazi,” the scary mean-
ing may be all that most people know.
What the word meant to me then—and
still means—is the movement to recognize
women as the equals of men.
Equals: Not identical. Not better than.
Not lesser than.
Feminism is the concept that we women
are human beings—people in our own
right—not creatures defined by relation-
ships to men, as mother, helpmeet, slave, or
whore.
It means we have the right to choose a life
path for ourselves: to marry, or not; to bear
children, or not; to wear silly shoes, date
awful men, run up our credit cards, vote
Republican—or not.
It also means we clean up our own
messes. And protect ourselves.
In a world where most women are still
considered property—to be controlled,
used, mutilated and disposed of by anyone
with a penis, Feminism is not only still
relevant, but desperately required.
Maybe it’s been misunderstood so often
by people like Mr. Gorgeous that we need a
new word, but whatever we call it, we can-
not lose it, or we lose everything.
Fran Dukehart
Feminism encompasses many subjects,
happenings, entities, identities, concepts,
qualities, historic details, public events,
magazines, books, movements, press and
non-press coverage, sacred circles, healing
gatherings, rituals, movies, reference points,
adepts, essential nature, outspoken-public
figures, and quiet real people/teachers/fam-
ily who have touched my daily life.
Feminism means women are worthy to
be praised, valued, protected, empowered,
respected, educated, encouraged, supported,
valued and challenged. Feminism means ad-
vancing all of the basic qualities of freedom
to women. Feminism means releasing old
worn-out beliefs about women having any
kind of mental, physical or spiritual deficit
in the fields of science, technology, politics,
leadership, finance, journalism, art, educa-
tion and all professional fields. It means
staying aware of and addressing the social
injustice and hidden agendas of prejudice
toward women.
It is a movement that keeps expanding
the more I learn about the struggles that
women of all colors, ages and geographic
locations are healing and dealing with
everyday.
Corrin Langner
Feminism means valuing qualities that
are typically female. For example, the ability
to problem solve using EQ (emotional intel-
ligence).
Women’s Press May/June 2006

Lisa Gonzalez
Feminism is a 1970’s word...It meant that
women had to believe enough in themselves
to push for parity of legal, social, and
economic opportunity with men. For some
women today, it means “fighting men” and
insisting they make-up for thousands of
years of un-equal opportunity. I can’t go
with this approach, since it assumes that
all men have it “out” for women, and every
man should make up for the thousands of
years of social injustice.
 Life is unfair...that’s the way it is. Some
people are smarter than others; Elvis was
more musical and charismatic than I will
ever be; Martha Stewart has more drive,
ambition, and imagination than I do. Do
I think I should have a business empire
equal to Martha’s? Of course not! She took
herself to where she is, partly due to the
opening up of opportunities for women (she
was one of the first women stockbrokers on
Wall Street), but also because she is driven,
focused, and ambitious.
 Let’s hope that “feminism” doesn’t insist
that everyone is equal, and we should all
have the same money, clothes, house, or job.
Everyone isn’t equal: we all just ask for equal
opportunity to make of our lives what we
wish. To be a mother and staying home with
the kids is important to many women; for
other women, it’s considered “selling out.”
 Women are asking for equality of op-
portunity and the option to make choices
that they feel are best for themselves. If this
is “feminism” - OK. But I fear that for some
women, this is not “feminism” but “accept-
ing the patriarchal model.” Provide me with
opportunities - let me make the choices.
Barbara Atkinson
Not to be too dramatic, but feminism
saved my life! The movement reemerged at
a time when I needed its strength to bolster
my sagging self-esteem. I was 27, newly di-
vorced, depressed with my options, lacking
funds, with two tiny babes in tow and no
active role models in my life blazing a trail
for me. I needed the ideals of this movement
to inspire confidence in what I already felt.
I needed the strength of my sisters, and the
changes and programs feminism demanded.
When I say I am a Feminist, it has a two-
fold meaning: 1) I am one who values herself
and women of every race and creed and
believes in their fundamental right to equal
status with men, which includes the power
of choice. 2) It means I do not hold men to
be responsible for me or to any dogma that
suggests they must behave in certain ways to
affirm their manhood – that they, too, have
the power of choice and the right to have
their choices respected.
When groups who have experienced
being “less than” first gather and collec-
tively become aware of disparages in equity
toward them and the injustices acted out
upon them, there is often anger involved.
There are radical factions in all movements
(African American, Native American, etc.),
and I would suggest they are often necessary
to the whole. As a group’s esteem grows, the
anger dissipates and they move, along with
their ideas, into or near the mainstream.
I bring this up because in its reemergence,
some feminists expressed anger and were
cast as unfeminine. Our cause was noble
and the scope of change we produced was
broad and necessary, yet part of our legacy,
for women frightened they will be cast as
man-haters, has been, “I believe that women
should be treated equitably, but I’m not a
feminist.” It’s imperative we change this per-
ception.Feminism is equality for all people;
it embodies tolerance and the strength of
unlimited possibilities.
Women’s Press May/June 2006
Local Perspectives
The Generations Need to
Collaborate
Cal Poly student ponders the future of
feminism
Ruthie Osorio
Last year, I marched alongside women to
celebrate the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. It
seemed natural, as a feminist, to rejoice in
my freedom of choice. But it soon became
evident that I was a minority in the crowd,
accompanied by only a handful of Cal Poly
students. Unlike the social movements of
the 1960s that were dominated by college
students, my generation remains absent
in local feminist activism. Have college
students detached from feminism, or has
feminism refused to expand to fit our needs?
While it is easy to blame college students
for our absence from the political arena, a
recent Harvard study suggests that col-
lege students are more active in their local
communities than ever. Despite the low
14 percent of college students that have
participated in a government, political, or
an issues-related organization, 61 percent of
us perform community service annually. Al-
though my generation may feel disillusioned
by the political system, we are more engaged
in our local communities than previous
generations. Instead of attending rallies
about women’s political rights, students are
collecting food for the Women’s Shelter and
fighting to end sexual assault by fundrais-
ing for crisis centers. Rather than gathering
at the foot of city hall, students are on the
street, raising awareness, food, and funds
for critical programs that support our local
communities.
Not only do students feel disconnected
from the political process, many students
perceive feminism as archaic. Explicitly
gender specific issues, such as abortion
rights and equal pay, don’t affect women
students on a daily basis. Instead of women’s
issues, female Cal Poly students have been
actively protesting the proposed immigra-
tion policy and advocating for affordable
college fees. MEXA, a student organization
celebrating Chicano/Chicana identity, has
actively opposed the proposed immigra-
tion policy with protests and informational
efforts. ASI Student Government continues
to mobilize students to resist the rising cost
of higher education. In both dialogues, a
feminist perspective seems absent. Yet these
are women’s issues.
The concept of “women’s issues” needs
to expand to include struggles students face
on a daily basis. Undocumented women
workers face economic, political, and sexual
exploitation, while Chicana students are
often marginalized in the education system.
The cost of college continues to increase to
unbearable heights, forcing more and more
women students out of higher education
and into a world of fewer choices. Both of
these issues are fueled by student activism,
yet a feminist perspective continues to be
transparent.
My generation is not plagued by apathy,
but affected by different conflicts. We are
on campus and in communities, promoting
equality and identity through community
service. We are willing and ready to engage
in the feminist movement, but only if
feminism can meet us on our battlegrounds,
such as the classroom. We have the energy
and spirit to force progress in our small
community of San Luis Obispo, but we
need an alliance with wiser and more
experienced generations of women. Through
this collaboration and expanded definition
of women’s issues, feminism can morph into
a more vibrant and collective movement,
promising progress for future generations.
E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org
Rusty Zane
I grew up in the 50s, influenced in ways
that girls born after the 60s just don’t
understand. I cut my teeth on fairy tales like
“Cinderella,” where girls who were good,
fair, sweet, and patient would someday be
“rescued” by handsome princes on white
horses. But a “fiery” woman who showed
determination or temper was merely waiting
for the right man to come along to “handle”
her. When asked what I wanted to be when
I grew up, I said either a “writer” or an
“actress. ”I didn’t even consider producer,
director, camera operator, publisher, editor...
those were “boy” jobs. And a girl should
never be good in sports: I vaguely remember
a “Father Knows Best” episode where the
younger daughter – a tomboy – had her first
crush on a boy. She learned to wear ribbons
on her pigtails and lose at basketball so he
would notice her.
 Fast forward to the early 70s. After a
failed marriage, I went back to school and
became the first female news anchor at my
college TV station. My first job outside
of school was as a “cameraman” – or, uh,
“cameraWOMAN” – or, uh, “cameraPER-
SON. ”I also recall a Sesame Street vignette
appearing like a scratchy old silent film
from the 20s. A damsel in distress falls in a
croc-infested river. She calls for help but no
one comes. She eventually figures out how
to SAVE HERSELF!
My daughters, in their 20s and 30s, were
raised watching “Bionic Woman,” “Dr.
Quinn, Medicine Woman,” and “Xena.”
The differences in their outlooks finally
struck home recently when we watched a
movie about the famous match between
Bobby Riggs and Billie Jean King and the
big impact it had. My daughters had trouble
accepting how things were back then.
Anne Quinn
A core belief of the feminist movement is
that women should be given the opportunity
to be all that they can be. Like all human
liberation movements, feminism seeks to
remove barriers—in relationships, the work-
place, sports, politics, and social mores.
I’m 56. One incident I experienced in
the 1980s when I was in my 30s remains an
example to me of how we women used to
undercut ourselves.
I remarked to a woman coworker who
was about the age I am now what a shame
it was that a highly qualified woman we
knew got passed over for promotion in favor
of a man. The then-older woman’s response
was that the man needed the promotion
more because he had to work to support his
family. I was single at the time, working to
support myself and I wanted to slap her!
We’ve come so far from that now, haven’t
we? In fact, the liberated woman has become
a stereotype. I don’t know about you, but
now articles about a woman police chief or
a woman transit worker seem contrived. I
just don’t think it’s necessary anymore. OK,
she’s a woman police chief, but is she a good
police chief?
In the past it was important to show
women in different roles to create role mod-
els for younger women and to broaden our
expectations. I think we went a little too far
and made the women who wanted to stay
home and raise children feel ashamed. Now
there are a lot of children whom no one has
spent enough time with.
Another unfortunate downside of femi-
nism for me is that it has resulted in the rise
of the stupid-white-man stereotype. People
writing television commercials and sitcoms
seem to be unable to do so without making
someone the dupe. Today it is always the
white male. Really what it all boils down to
is that none of us can be free until we each
honor the other.
Dawn E. Williams
My mother (now 96 years young) has
always said that she is not a feminist; but she
was the first woman in the State of Califor-
nia to earn both an amateur and a commer-
cial radio operator’s permits. She was office
manager for the State Board of Equalization
(which issues, among other permits, liquor
licenses.) She organized and led a Girl Scout
troop, and, when there was no Job’s Daugh-
ters Bethel in our small town, she formed
one so that my sister could join.
But what does feminism mean to me?
It means, among other rights, full access
to “the pursuit of happiness.” It means
full access with my brother to the love and
pride of my parents. It means: equal access
to education and training; equal rights
and responsibilities in my home and in my
workplace; equal pay and equal access to
promotion on my job; and equal treatment
in the courts. In short, as Dorothy Sayers
asked many years ago in an essay, “Are
Women Human?” Feminism says, “Yes, and
we expect to be treated as human beings.”
The Two Feminisms:
An on-going examination of what stands
between white women and women of color
Bailey Drechsler
Several weeks ago a writer for the Tribune
asked a handful of local women to describe
their reaction to the term “feminist.” The
results were published in an article entitled,
“SLO County and the F-Word.” Since you
are reading the Women’s Press, I’ll venture
a guess that if had you read the aforemen-
tioned article your heart sank and/or broke
when you read what the 18 - 23-year-olds had
to say. The overall sentiment of these young
women essentially equated feminist/ism with
all things derogatory, foul, and militant.
Given all the progress made by our feminist
foremothers, how does the perpetuation of
stigma surrounding feminism continue to
infuse U.S. ideology with the density of tulle
fog? Oh, how it pains me to see the insidious-
ness of androcentrism and institutionalized
sexism at work!
And yet, if the reporter had bothered to
include a broader representation of women’s
voices, one that significantly crossed ethnic-
ity, class, and sexual orientation, the tenor
of the article would have revealed a richer,
more complex and contextual perspective
of feminism. In fact, the reporter’s own
Euro-centric, middle-class bias prevented
her from acknowledging that her “local
survey” was sorely lacking a diverse spec-
trum of American women’s perspectives.
Instead, she portrayed women’s voices as if
it were a homogenous generality. When our
differences are denied or not seen, we lose sight
of individual identities and histories. And we
also lose the opportunity to make real human
connections.
That said, the impetus to write this article
has to do with the continued marginaliza-
tion/exclusion of women of color that occurs
within mainstream feminist discourse. As
South Korean-American feminist Rebecca
Hurdis noted, “[F]or a lot of women of
color, feminism is perceived as being a white
women’s movement that has little space
or acknowledgement for women of color.”
Accessing feminism for women of color,
finding a personal point of entry, has histori-
cally been problematic because feminism
is typically presented (in the academy;
amongst white, middle-class feminists) with
whiteness as its centerpiece; issues of race
and class are relegated to the borders.
I’m hoping you are asking yourself,
“Why/How does this happen?” And, “What
CONTINUED ON
DRECHSLER, Page 10
Page 

Betty Friedan Died Today
By Barbara Atkinson
February 4, 2006.
Once when I was a little girl, my mother
went away for a few days. There were five
kids: four girls and a boy. My mother gath-
ered us girls and gave us jobs while she was
away. One of mine was to make my father’s
bed. What has stuck with me all these years
is a smaller me standing beside this very big
bed, leaning over trying to make it. I kept
wondering why a grown man couldn’t make
his own bed. It didn’t make sense to me. I
loved my dad; I wasn’t resentful. It was the
logic of it I didn’t understand: I was a young
girl and he was an adult. A small event. A
little memory. But one that never left me.
Betty Friedan died today.
My son was almost a year old when I read
The Feminine Mystique. My husband was
getting his PhD. We weren’t in suburbia,
I didn’t have coffee with the neighboring
women discussing “the problem that has
no name,” but I knew what she was talking
about. Suddenly that little girl wasn’t just
leaning over an expansive bed, but a per-
vasive consciousness of accepted inequities,
and now she had a context for her problem
“that made no sense.” A door was opened. A
breeze blew in. Betty Friedan died today.
NOW was born. Women gathered,
shared their thoughts and organized for
change: consciousness-raising groups;
women’s health collectives; an Equal Rights
Amendment movement. An articulate
Gloria Steinem gathered the reins and led
the way. A surge of feminine power brought
inequities to light. Change began. Women
had choices. Betty Friedan died today.
My Friend and Friedan
By Diana Schmiett
February 15, 2006
“You know, Betty Friedan died,” I said
to my friend Claudia as we were parting af-
ter an afternoon of birding in Morro Bay. So
much for the goodbye. This was the opening
to a snapshot of life that needed sharing.
After all, this was real news.
Claudia paused there near her apart-
ment where she has made her home as a
single woman. I could see by the look on
her face that she was pulling up some rich
old memories of both pain and joy. She told
how reading The Feminine Mystique had
changed her life and the lives of so many
women around her. Hearing the passion in
her voice I could actually sense for the first
time what it may have been like for those
housewives in the sixties who dared to read
Friedan’s work. Their self concepts began
exploding, their worlds began to rock, and
they couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together
again. The Feminine Mystique had pushed
the women’s movement through the starting
gate.
Claudia was more than amazed when
she read the book she indicated to me by
dropping her jaw and demonstrating how
mouth-open-agog she had been at such
ideas. There was validation and confu-
Page 
Local Perspectives
She helped open the door in our minds
for injustice to be exposed, then sparred
with Gloria and others about the details and
direction of the movement. She fell out of
favor a bit, fading in and out of the feminist
discussion. I saw her obituary buried on
page five of the Sunday Tribune next to that
of a TV character actor. How could they. I
lit a candle. I said a prayer of gratefulness.
Betty Friedan died today.
Much change has occurred, and many
women now take for granted the strides
that have been made in their name. Yet on
this our Mother Earth, women can still
be stoned, beaten, and raped at the will
of their father, brother, husband or son.
They still make less money than men in
the workplace. They are still battered. And
while family values are touted by politicos, a
mother’s work is still undervalued, wives are
still over-burdened with all the housework,
workplace day-care centers are still rare,
and the issue of choice is once again under
threat. Still…a door has been opened and
consciousness awakened. Ms. Friedan joins
Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stan-
ton, and countless other nameless women
through the ages who have suffered, died,
and were forced to bend to the injustice and
unkindness of inequity. They stand now
as invisible sentries holding the door open
against all those who do not understand
the real and present danger in allowing it to
slowly shut.
Betty Friedan died today. She dedicated a
good portion of her life to us. Light a candle
and remember.
sion and a general feeling of “Oh my god,
you mean everybody feels like this, like
something is missing but ‘what is it?’ and ‘I
can’t put my finger on it’ and ‘there must be
something wrong with me’?”
“Before that book,” Claudia said em-
phatically, “women didn’t have any idea that
you could be something more than a wife
and a mother. Once women got married
they never worked at a job again if they had
one; it just wasn’t done. And a lot of women
had no clue there was any other choice. That
book, I’m telling you…it changed my life!
That is when everything started happening
and changing. That was the beginning of
finding out who I really was, that I was a
person with my own needs and I could do
something about it…Well, I don’t mean it
just happened. It took years, years! But that
was the beginning, right there, that book. I
don’t know, I wonder if she really knew, if
she really understood how much her writing
The Feminine Mystique changed so many
lives. It certainly changed mine, thank god!”
Claudia Sargent is a watercolor artist,
grandmother, classical musician, and native of
the Central Coast. Diana Schmiett once shook
the hand of Gloria Steinem but never met
Betty Friedan.
E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org
A Marriage of Two Cultures
By Renee Sanpei
Entering the world of Linda and Karma
Wolff is like walking into Eden. The beauty
of their garden courtyard is an expression of
their loving-kindness. I breath it in and feel
welcomed.
We sip tea and talk about what it is like
to have lived and raised children in two very
different cultures; Bhutan and America.
Linda was raised in a Jewish family from
this area. Karma was raised in the Buddhist
tradition of his country, Bhutan. Linda’s
parents were active in the community, as
is she. Karma’s father was a governor of a
province and a journalist.
Their paths crossed in Bhutan when
Linda was working as a physical therapist
with handicapped children, and Karma was
beginning a career as a journalist. Linda’s
responsibility there was to educate the medi-
cal staff and families on new therapies and
equipment. Karma is grateful to his wife for
her wonderful contributions to the families
in his country.
Since her return to the states, Linda has
continued her volunteer work with Bhutan
as well as becoming actively involved in
local community service. She directs the
Bhutan volunteer program through Health
Volunteers Overseas. She also works with
the SLO County California Children’s
Services Clinic and supports the Farms to
School Movement through the SLO Grown
Kids organization (an effort by mothers to
bring nutritious, organic, locally grown food
into the public schools.)
Linda says that some of the gifts of
Bhutan’s culture are that, “Life is less stress-
ful there. The families are close and always
available to help.” Also as parents, they both
value the respect for elders, harmony and
compassion that is a way of life there.
Karma smiles and tells me that the “pace
of life is so much faster here! I was drinking
4-5 cups a coffee a day to try and keep up at
first. I don’t do that anymore.” Also, the lack
of diversity here concerned them. “Tolerance
is important. Without exposure to different
cultures, you can become afraid.”
The Assistance League of San Luis Obispo County:
Helping Children
by Dawn Williams
The Assistance League of San Luis
Obispo County, established in 1996, is part
of a nationwide organization devoted to
improving the quality of life for those served
by providing services based on their needs.
Ann Melvin is president of the local League,
which currently has 90 members from all
parts of the county. Publicity chair Karen
Gould graciously invited me to tour their fa-
cility in the former gymnasium of the junior
high school on Lizzie Street, adjacent to the
current adult education offices. Access is by
appointment only on Tuesdays, Thursdays,
and Saturdays. Families are usually referred
for services by school personnel or social
service agencies.
The facility, with its high ceilings, bright
yellow paint, neat cupboards and storage
drawers, and racks of clothing, is a stellar
example of conversion of a space to a new
use. The former showers are now curtained
dressing rooms where children may try on
clothing for size. The current programs are:
• Operation School Bell, which provides
new clothing for students, K-6th grade, be-
fore the start of school each fall and during
the school year. The program furnishes to
each student referred, two pairs of jeans (or
jeans and a dress), two T-shirts, a jacket, six
They have taught their two wonderful,
young boys, Mila and Shey, to honor both
cultures. One way they do this is to encour-
age them to read stories from both countries
that reveal different values. Karma points
out that being here has exposed them to
more individualized, critical thinking. “In
Bhutan, one is not taught to stand out.”
As I listen to this couple share their story,
I can see that their love of one another and
their respect for what is essential, reflect
beautifully in all they do. Linda shows me a
poem, written by her sister, and tells me an
inspiring story of how they made this com-
mitment going into their journey together.
I would like to close by sharing part of
“Reaching for the Sky”, which was inspired
as they hiked up the mountains of Bhutan.
“Majestic and immense, the earth at that
point simply engulfed me.
In those surroundings, I met Karma, and
I saw that the life in those mountains had
brought Linda and Karma together....
I saw that he was not unlike the place
where he had grown up-full of spirit, kind-
ness and life.
I also saw that his love for Linda was
genuine and deep.
And that their love for each other was like
the lines of the Himalayas, forever etched
into the earth and reaching to the sky.”
Linda and Karma have continued to take
people back to Bhutan on uniquely guided
tours. If you would like to contact them
about their work here or there, they can be
reached at karma@skykingdomadventures.
com.
pairs of socks, five or six sets of underwear,
and one pair of shoes, all new.
• Books for Packs, which gives each child
a new backpack with a book of her or his
choice; and
• Operation Totes, which provides a
canvas bag with essential toiletries and an
appropriate stuffed animal toy to children in
the Women’s Shelter.
The group also does several outreach pro-
grams during the year, taking the clothes to
Nipomo, Shandon, and Cambria for those
who may have transportation problems.
The League, with an annual operation
budget of $100,000, serves from 1,000-
1,200 children per year. Funds are raised
from grants, special events, and donations
from private contributors, foundations, and
municipalities. Examples of special events
are “A Touch of Magic” a recent year’s wine
and art festival, and “Sock It to Them,” a
solicitation letter accompanied by a baby
bootie.
Persons interested in sending a tax-de-
ductible donation or in becoming a member
and volunteering time may call 782-0824,
or write to Assistance League of San Luis
Obispo County, P.O. Box 14904, San Luis
Obispo CA 93406.
Women’s Press May/June 2006
 Local Perspectives
Use Native Plants in Your Garden
By Pam Thomas
The arrival of spring, and its longer days inspire me to spend more time in my own
garden. As a horticulturist with my own landscaping business, I work with clients to develop
and maintain gardens that work with their site, are environmentally mindful, and use appro-
priate plants in interesting ways. Here are a few of my favorite native plants that offer color
and versatility to your garden.
Coral bells (Heuchera sp.)
Coral bells are an infinitely useful group
of plants that provide variety to your garden
with color and textural effects. Between
straight species and cultivars, gardeners are
spoiled for choices such as solid green leaves
(ie: Heuchera maxima, H.elegans), purple
foliage (ie: H. ‘Obsidian’), silver foliage (ie:
H.‘Mint Frost’, H.‘Velvet Night’), interest-
ing veination patterns (ie: H.‘Raspberry
Ice’), and textured leaves (ie: frilled leaf
edges ofH.‘Crimson Curls’). The foliage
provides year-round interest in addition to
its spring floral display. These flowers rise
in 1- 2’ wands covered with pink or white,
cupped flowers, that are small but collec-
tively create an airy, delicate touch to the
plant. Coral bells grow best in free-drained
soil given some shade or dappled light. I
like using the more flamboyant cultivars
in containers or as accent plants, and using
the more naturalistic, green leaved species
planted in groups, used under oaks, or at the
edge of planting beds.
Hummingbird sage (Salvia spathacea)
Another plant for the shade or part-sun
garden is the hummingbird sage. This mem-
ber of the mint family has long, triangular
shaped leaves that are hairy and textured.
The plant blooms from early spring to sum-
mer with whorls of red tubular flowers offset
by dark maroon bracts growing up to 3’
tall. The flowers have a sweet fragrance, and
hummingbirds use them as a nectar source.
Hummingbird sage is one of our showiest
California native perennials, and is excit-
ing to see them growing wild in San Luis
Obispo County as well as in garden settings.
Hummingbird sage grows in dry shade, and
looks striking planted in groups, or as an
accent plant.
Foothill Penstemon
(Penstemon heterophyllus)
There are many choices for flower color
and size when looking at penstemons, or
beard-tongues. Cultivars offer large, showy
flowers in purples, reds, pinks, and white,
but one of my favorites is the smaller flow-
ered, foothill penstemon. I like the sky blue,
purple, and pink color blend of its flowers,
its prolific blooming, and open growth
habit. This 2’ tall California native penste-
mon blooms spring to summer, and grows
best in sunny conditions with well-drained
soil, and good air circulation.It looks great
planted next to large rocks, in masses, or
combined with other perennials.
Pam Thomas is a Cal-Poly educated horticulturist with fifteen years experience working at
public botanic gardens. Her new business, Paloma Landscaping (458-9207), provides consulting,
design, maintenance, and container gardens using California native and Mediterranean plants.
Women’s Press May/June 2006 E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org
New Column! The Wonder of It All
By Hilda Heifetz
I am 92 and inspired to write a series of
columns that would be the voice of someone
at this very advanced age. Of course, since
aging is a lifelong affair, I would hope they
would have broad appeal.
After and during all these years, there are
true tales to tell and experiences to share,
illuminating past, present, and future. I
am full of the wonder of human existence:
amusing, meaningful, and very often mys-
tifying. Most of the time, I wind up with
more questions than answers … more to
learn than to teach. And I hope my columns
appeal to readers as:
• An awakening for us seniors to vitalize
very moment, even trying to feel good while
not feeling well
• Sources of pleasure in thinking a little
more deeply about their own lives and hu-
man relationships
• An invitation to find meaning in their
own stories
• A respite from the media’s typical focus
on hard news, global violence, and cold
factual data
My best hope of all is that the columns
be as enjoyable to read as I find them enjoy-
able to write.
Mixed Messages
Juggling mixed messages can begin at
a very early age. I think about when my
mother was teaching me about “life” as a
female. In her behavior, she personified the
liberated woman—she had a business of
her own (which began in Europe when she
was 14). Here, in America, she ran a dress
shop for “stylish stouts” and even made
good on her goal to be listed in Dun and
Bradstreet. Ah, but in her advice to me, she
emphasized the priority of getting mar-
ried. To accomplish this, I should be very
pretty but not too smart (I would scare men
away!). I should learn to be a good cook for
the way to a man’s heart was through his
stomach. With her own freedom to roam
and prevail in a man’s world of industry, she
was instructing me to know that “a woman’s
place is in the home”! How do we reconcile
the message with the model?!
These days we are asked to bring together
all kinds of contradiction and paradoxes.
There are spinners and skewers and advertis-
Let’s Get Organized
By Connie Winstead, Organizer
Extraordinaire
Cluttered rooms, closets stuffed to the
gills and piles of papers can drive a person to
distraction – not to mention diminish pro-
ductivity at home and in the office. If you’re
at the point where you’re so overwhelmed by
stuff that you don’t know where to start, you
might want to bring in someone who doesn’t
know you and your house can provide a very
good perspective on the problem and the
solution—a professional organizer. A profes-
sional organizer doesn’t tell a family what to
do or how to store their things, but rather
asks questions so they come to the right con-
clusions, given their living space. Systems
are developed that work for the client and
are easy to maintain.
Here are some tips for getting organized:
• Start with what’s bothering you the
most, whether it’s toys on the floor, messy
kitchen cabinets, an overflowing garage,
clothes closet or mounds of paperwork.
• Put prime items in prime space. Have
handy what you frequently use, pack away
(or put in out of the way places) the things
you don’t use often. This applies to seasonal
clothing, sports equipment and kitchen
ers, for instance, who want us to stay “in-
formed” by dis-information (lies), so-called
mistakes (crimes), and secrets (withheld for
security reasons).
I recall an interview on the Charlie Rose
TV show with an old-time newscaster who
started his career as a journalist on radio.
Rose asked how he had been successful in
transitioning to TV reporting. The news-
caster said, “Be sincere, well-informed and
reliable … and if you can fake all that, you’ll
do okay.” Does it hurt to laugh?
On a personal level, being 92, I should
act young, look young, and because death is
not popular, I should live forever.
From Hilda
In my 92 years, I have found that the
most significant events and relationships
have some element beyond the “rational”
domain. While they can be described, they
cannot adequately be explained; while they
are never fully understood, they cannot be
denied. Though they remain unforgettable,
people tend to dismiss them as a random or
chance occurrence. But if we are aware, we
can sense some larger Intelligence involved,
collaborating in the shaping of our lives.
My feeling is that I dance with the help of
some superior choreographer—that I am an
actor on a boundless stage, improving on
a pre-written script. It seems that, though
I am the main character in the story of my
life, I’m not necessarily the Author.
supplies.
• Tackle one small area at a time. Work
that corner of the room or that drawer for
just five minutes each day.
• Ask a friend or a relative to help. You
always do better if you have someone look-
ing over your shoulder. It’s harder to throw
everything back into a junk drawer when
someone is watching.
• When you’re storing boxes on a shelf,
write an identifying label on all four sides.
• When you’ve stored items, write in two
places where you put them. For example,
the back pages of the phone book and an
address book.
The Organizer Extraordinaire can be
reached at 441-4601 or getorganizedSLO@
aol.com.
Page 

Women Helping Women
Part 1 of a new series
By Evelyn Adams-Ryal
In this issue, information about and
from the private non-profit Women’s Shelter
Program of San Luis Obispo. The July-August
issue will feature an in-depth interview with
Phyllis Madonna about her volunteer work.
Beth Raub is the Volunteer Coordinator
at the SLO Women’s Shelter Program and
is often its public voice. She told me that
about 900 clients a year are served through
counseling, schools, legal clinics, the Safe
House, and transitional housing. The Safe
House sleeps about 10-12 depending on the
mother to child ratio. Their Transition
House has 5 apartments. Outreach services
include legal aid and counseling, which can
be accessed without Safe House services.
Referrals are mostly through the SLO
Hotline 549-8989, which then pages the
on-call crisis worker who talks to the victim
about available services. Referrals are often
made from law enforcement and social
service case workers. Sometimes a fam-
ily member or co-worker tells them about
services. Many come from the hospital
when released.
The average stay is about 8 weeks and
sometimes less. Often clients go back to
the situation because of they can’t afford to
be on their own. If they have family and
educational resources, some can stay away
from “the situation.” It’s hard in our area
to find housing, especially with children. A
network of resources for the women in our
community includes Department of Social
Services for Cal-Works and Goodwill’s
Local Perspectives
Shoreline Occupational Training Center.
Some with financial aid may attend Cuesta
College. Those with education, if they can
safely keep their jobs, might not go home-
less.
“It’s so important,” Ms. Raub said, “to
get involved on an intervention level. When
someone is being endangered, it’s not a
private issue, it’s a community issue. Call
and find out what you can do. For example,
I received a call from an uncle who was
concerned about his niece. We talked about
resources and the dynamics of how to plan
what she might do if she left.”
“A society where intimate partners
and family members treat each other with
dignity, respect and compassion; where
oppression is replaced with equality; where
the expression of conflict and anger is non-
violent; where children grow up with their
esteem intact and are nurtured in such a
manner they recognize the value of speaking
the truth, welcoming diversity and practic-
ing cooperation. Our vision is a society free
from intimate and political wars.”
­— From the Women’s Shelter
Program’s Vision Statement
Evelyn is beginning a Women’s Creative
Cooperative (WCCo-op) to teach, mentor, and
provide economic benefits to all women inter-
ested in creative self-employment, specifically,
“women at risk”. Members of the WCCo-op
plan to open their community-based Web cart
in August, with other products on MadeIn-
SanLuisObispo.com. Call 815-8700 or email
goodideas@bravenewwares.com
Things to know…
If you want to intervene: Never intervene in front of the batterer. If you hear violence
taking place, call the police. Think first about safety. If you are alone with the victim,
call the shelter crisis line - 781-6400. Call the North County Safe House, 461-1338, if
that is closer.
When you intervene, you let someone know you care and are aware if their situation,
that they are not all alone in this. That knowledge can often open the window for them
to make a lifesaving change. Remember though, that the person who batters is physi-
cally dangerous and you need to be careful.
If you want out: Look for the SAFE HAVEN sticker, which identifies a location
that will provide you with a safe and confidential phone. It is a huge thing to be able to
talk to someone without fear. You can call family members, who may offer you a place
to stay. You can arrange medical attention if you need it. If you are still in the stage of
verbal and mental abuse that precedes physical violence, you desperately need someone
to talk to. The SAFE HAVEN line is often that first contact towards getting counseling
and help before the violence begins. (Readers, you can get a SAFE HAVEN sticker to
put on your window by calling Beth at 781-6401, extension 112.)
The Cycle of Domestic Violence
Stage 1. Tension Building – Verbal and emotional abuse, often the longest stage.
Stage 2. Violent Outbursts – Yelling until backed into a wall, slammed into a door.
Stage 3. Hearts and Flowers – What keeps victims in bad relationships: abusers can
be very charming. They don’t mean to be bad people, or women would never go back,
BUT the hearts and flowers gets shorter and shorter in the Tension building stage.
The Tension Building stage does escalate; it gets shorter and shorter. The Violent
Outbursts get more violent. Then there is no more Hearts and Flowers. The worst case
scenario after the black eyes and broken bones is murder.
In the first year, the cycle happens once. After ten years it takes 24 hours to go
through the whole cycle to the violence.
Some history
The very first women’s shelter in the United States was founded in 1974, and our first
area safe-house shelter began shortly after in 1977. Six women in Morro Bay got to-
gether, pooling their money to purchase a small house for women experiencing domestic
violence to flee to. By 1979, the grants were written, and a generous person donated a
plot of land establishing it in San Luis Obispo.
Victim blaming
In our society we often do something known as, “victim blaming.” See “Sexual As-
sault: The Harm in Blaming the Victim” for an article about that problem.

Sexual Assault: Drechsler

The Harm in Blaming the Victim
By Gillian E. Cutshaw, Education
Services Coordinator, SARP Center
Sexual assault is a complex issue. There
are many misconceptions and myths sur-
rounding sexual assault, even in 2006.
One of the most harmful and commonly
perpetuated myths about sexual assault is
that it is the victim’s fault, or that the victim
“asked for it” in some way. This myth takes
the criminal blame away from the perpetra-
tor and shifts the responsibility for the crime
to the victim. So often, the victims who are
courageous enough to tell their stories are
faced with questions and accusations like
“what were you wearing?”, “you shouldn’t
have gone out with him/her”, “did you
flirt with him/her, or act like you wanted
it?”, and “if you hadn’t been so drunk, it
wouldn’t have happened”. Going through
that kind of interrogation can make any vic-
tim believe that they did cause the assault,
and can make them less likely to tell anyone
else or make a report. This societal belief can
also discourage other victims from coming
forward for fear that they will be blamed
and made to feel more intense shame and
guilt.
No one asks to be sexually assaulted,
humiliated, beaten, or killed. Nor does
anyone’s behavior justify or excuse the
crime. People have the right to be safe from
a sexual violation at any time, any place, and
under any circumstances. Yet our society
continues to blame the victim and find
reasons why he or she was assaulted. By do-
ing this, we are dissociating ourselves from
the victim and from whatever behavior we
feel caused the assault. As long as we don’t
do what that victim did, we can continue
to feel safe and maintain the idea that “it
won’t happen to me.” If the victim had been
drinking alcohol before the rape, then the
faulty reasoning is “I will be safe if I do not
drink alcohol”. If the victim was raped while
wearing a short skirt then the faulty reason-
ing is that, “I will be safe if I only wear
pants.” Not only does this kind of thinking
excuse the perpetrator of the crime from any
responsibility, it also does a disservice to all
people by providing a false sense of security.
No one wants to believe that sexual assault
can happen to anyone at any time, but the
truth is that it can and people need to be
aware of that.
Blaming the victim teaches people that
if they are sexually assaulted, it is their
own fault. Self-blame for a sexual assault
contributes to the trauma experienced by
the victim. It is extremely difficult for a
survivor of sexual assault to place the blame
on the perpetrator when all he/she has ever
seen is society blaming victims for being
assaulted. The biggest factor in a survivor’s
recovery is the support of those around her.
If those people the survivor comes in contact
with believe that he or she was assaulted and
believe it was not his or her fault that, the
survivor is more likely to recover quickly
and experience less traumatization.
Continued from Voices, page 7
am I going to do about it?”
As I continue to examine my own relation-
ship with feminism and social justice as a
privileged white, middle-class woman, my own
sexism and racism surfaces—not a “pretty”
sight. Nonetheless, I am compelled—indeed, I
a passionately committed— to address my prej-
udices, and examine how I might find ways to
enter the great divide between white women
and women of color in an effort to be “a part
of the solution.” When I am truly present and
conscious of my privilege (and honestly, as I
write this article my full consciousness fades in
and out) a flood of feelings surface: white guilt,
shame, sadness, anger, more sadness. I don’t
want these feelings to propel me into apathy
and hopelessness and stop me from looking at
these issues. And these issues require on-going
exploration… If I am to address these issues
with any emotional depth and understanding,
I must do so with my heart in one hand and
my intellect in the other.
So, what is this gulf that exists between
white women and women of color? While
there is no one simple answer, white skin
privilege—the other side of racism—is a
fundamental element. My white skin and
middle-class status entitle me to unearned
privileges solely because of my skin color
and social class: I do not have to worry that
when I go shopping I will be followed by a
salesperson who is suspecting me of shoplift-
ing; I can be relatively certain that I will not
be asked to speak about whiteness as if I am
a spokesperson for white people; my indi-
viduality is likely not to be lost because of
my membership with Euro-Americans; I live
with a degree of societal acceptance because
people who look like me are in positions of
power, on the front cover of magazines, in
the educational system, as newscasters.
White privilege means that I don’t have
to think about racism like my sisters of
color. Thus, it leads Euro-Americans to
make statements like, “I don’t see color”
and “I see everyone as humans.” If I were
told by my non-Jewish friends that they don’t
see me as a Jew but “ just human” or “ just an
American like everyone else,” how could I not
feel that a significant part of my identity was
dismissed? While these statements may be
intended to convey an ethic of fairness, the
IMPACT it has on our sisters of color is just
the opposite. Why? Because these state-
ments disregard, invalidate, and deny the
fact that people of color ARE people of color
who ARE NOT, as a whole, treated equally
compared to Euro-Americans.
Perhaps what can bring us closer together
are not our similarities, but our willing-
ness to fully acknowledge our differences.
Creating an inclusive feminism begins by
acknowledging that racism, like sexism, is
institutionalized within our society; that
white skin Euro-Americans benefit, ipso
facto, from racism; and that the margin-
alization of women manifests in degrees
according to the types of memberships a
woman identifies. Building bridges across
the two feminisms means that we must up-
hold a socio-geopolitical vision of feminism
that is committed to resituating all women
from the margins to the center.

Page 10 E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org Women’s Press May/June 2006


A traditional doctor/sangoma shares her philosophy of healing
Letter from Botswana
An Interview By Alyson LeBlanc
My name is Sephone Mokgethi. Since I
was six, I was so strange; I was always sick
with something. In 1994 I became very
sick. At night, I dream so many things! of
big snakes, of myself inside of a big pail, of
myself going down into a ‘big water’, like
a river. Aiee! Big snakes! Big dreams! But
those snakes - they were okay - oh, I was
scared of them, but they were never doing
anything to make me honestly afraid - they
were just always around me.
Then, in 1998, it had gotten much worse
and I was dreaming about big colors, too,
and I had become so worried that I decided
to do something about all of this. I con-
tacted someone in Johannesburg, South
Africa, Laplahte, who is now my Baba (elder
teacher). When I got there, she told me “You
are not sick; the spirits of your Ancestors
want to train you to heal people.”
So I began to train, from 1998 to 1999,
at Laplahte’s indumba (spirit house). Then
I came home. The very same day, I began
treating people. I have many different kinds
of clients that I help: they are sick with
many different problems and I just help
them. People come to you in different ways
- with different symptoms and different
problems.
For instance, for the woman who wants
to have a baby, it depends. Because you
see, sometimes it can be a problem of the
woman’s organs - sometimes her tubes
are blocked and I send her to the medical
doctors, who can scan for this, and then
they can choose the best way to solve the
problem. When she comes back to me again,
Women’s Stories
I can give her a muti, a medicine that the
husband and the wife take together. These
are drinking medicines, and they must
drink-drink-drink.
Sometimes, it just depends on God. If
God likes, they will have a baby. Right now,
I have four patients I have helped, and they
each have a small baby. But sometimes they
can’t have a baby, because either the woman
has a problem in the womb, like a growth,
so I tell them they must go to hospital and
there they must remove it. Otherwise, there
is nothing that we can do. Sometimes the
problem is not from the woman; sometimes
the problem is from the man. So, I have to
tell him to go to the clinic or to a private
doctor to have his tubes checked. Having a
baby involves two lives, you see. So if one of
the lives cannot make a baby, I just can’t do
anything. But if it can be fixed, I can give
them the medicine. If I do, then that baby is
going to come!
In the old days, the people believed in big
families. But in these days, people believe in
small families. Life is too hard, now. Every-
thing is very expensive - and there are too
many diseases. Here, we are telling ourselves
that we want to help more children - and
to do that we must stay small - especially if
partners are not married.
For me, I don’t know how to talk about
that. These days, many do not marry. Or
they say ‘I’ll stay married for three or four
years.” And especially for the younger ladies,
they don’t care about marriage. Because
if their man is ‘fooling around’, then he’ll
just bring it home. Then they will get sick
from it, if he’s sick. They want it to be more
‘50/50” and they won’t have that if they
marry the man. Besides, it’s just paperwork;
it’s just like that, it’s just like that.
Now if people decide that they don’t
want to have babies, they go to the hospital
and the women have their tubes cut. The
more traditional-minded, they just come
to the traditional doctor and they tell you
that they don’t want to have children for a
certain period of time, say for five years. You
prepare a muti for just them, mixed up in-
side a bottle. The man takes that bottle and
seals it up and puts it away in a secret place
buried in the ground. It must be very, very
well hidden because if it is lost or someone
takes it, well, then it’s all over for them hav-
ing children! When they do decide to have a
child, that bottle of medicine comes out of
the ground, the bottle is opened - and they
will have their child. That is how the old
people have always prevented babies from
coming.
As for abortion, I really, really don’t even
want to talk about it. If they have taken
abortion medicine, and come to my place,
I just send them on to the hospital. I don’t
want, I don’t want. What I told myself, even
when I was still training as a healer, “What I
want is ‘holy hands’ - I want to heal people.
And if God can help me to do this, I want
to live a different life than that kind.”
Like most people now, they are thinking
that the traditional doctors and the sango-
mas, we who work with mutis, they think
that we are all witches. We are not witches.
Most sangomas are all Christians. We are
not allowed to kill. And we are not allowed
to cheat people.
Today some people just put on the
beads (indicating our wrist beads, the sign
of a true sangoma) and call themselves
sangomas. They are not all true sangomas.
Sangomas are people who have had much
training; and if you have had training, your
trainer will tell you what you are supposed
to do and what you are not supposed to
do. Most of the false sangomas just buy the
mutis and treat falsely. This is not a san-
goma! Those people are doing bad things.
Bad things!
We true sangomas are not killing people,
because we are descendants (inheritors of
this tradition). Those people who are our
ascendants (our ancestors), they will not al-
low us to kill. We sangomas, we are not after
money: that means that when a sick person
comes to us, they are not turned away. Our
ancestors will not allow that; we just take
that person and we heal them. Then next
time they will come and pay us - bring us
a chicken, a goat, to pay. Then they have
honored what we have done for them. It is
what we do, here in Africa.

Nonviolent communication: “A way of communicating that leads us to give from the heart”
An Interview with Alexandra Sherwood
by Laura V. Hyde
Many of us have experienced frustra-
tion while communicating with others: we
either feel we’re not truly being heard or
have difficulty expressing how we really feel.
Yet there is a way to increase the quality of
communication and connection through the
techniques taught in Nonviolent Communi-
cation (NVC). Alexandra Sherwood spon-
sors classes on and is currently in the process
of becoming a facilitator for Nonviolent
Communication.
What is the background of NVC?
NVC was formed by Marshall Rosen-
berg, Ph.D., who grew up during the race
riots in Detroit, MI, and didn’t understand
all of the violence or where it stemmed
from. He sought to understand the paradox
of loving human nature and how it could
become so violent. Marshall became a
psychotherapist but didn’t find it fulfilling,
so he began investigating a compassionate
way of communicating. He found that the
reason people become violent is because they
have unmet needs.
What “needs” are met through NVC?
NVC is a process in which everyone’s
needs are equally recognized. We come to
recognize our needs as well as the other
person’s. For example, NVC is based on
the theory that we are all jackals or giraffes.
Jackals are who we are when we’re being
manipulative, demanding, or guilt-tripping
someone. If we’re doing something out of
shame, blame, reward, obligation or duty,
we’re being a jackal. Giraffes, on the other
hand, have the largest hearts in the animal
kingdom.
Yes, and since they are very tall, they
can see the “bigger picture.”
Yes. We’ve been speaking the jackal lan-
guage for 8,000 years, and are now learning
to speak the language of the giraffe.
How does NVC teach one to shift from
the language of jackal to giraffe?
NVC uses a four part process of speaking
and listening. The formula is based on:
1. Observation = Make a neutral observa-
tion...
2. Feeling = How does that make you
feel...
3. Value = What do you value...
4. Request = What would you like to
request to enrich your life...
It sounds like NVC teaches one how to
be both empathetic and validating. All of
us yearn to be listened to, really listened
to, from the heart.
Yes, we do. NVC provides a way to
calm down someone who is on the defense.
The whole point is not getting what you
want, but establishing a connection where
everyone’s needs are equally met. Then
there’s no longer the game of “who’s right.”
When establishing a quality of connection,
everyone feels safe.
How long are the NVC classes and
what could one expect?
NVC is taught in either a six-week course
or weekend intensive. Classes are like learn-
ing a new instrument: they train the brain
to do something it hasn’t done before. To do
Book Reviews
No. 1 Ladies’
Detective Agency
Review by Anne R. Dunbar
Alexander McCall Smith has taken the
world by surprise with his tantalizing series
of books beginning with the No.1 Ladies’
Detective Agency. One can hardly put this
NVC, one must learn to listen and speak at
book down once beginning to read about
the same time. It’s like a foreign language,
Precious Ramotswe in this absolutely au-
like an art. I’ve been studying for six months
thentic portrayal of African life. The reader
and am still learning the process.
is transported to sub-Saharan Africa, spe-
How have you found NVC most help-
cifically Botswana, where Mma Ramotswe’s
ful?
dream to open a ladies’ detective agency is
With my family, my daughters. I’ve
funded with the sale of a few of her father’s
learned to communicate with them in a
fine cattle, a portion her inheritance.
whole new way that has helped our relation-
The Agency is busy with varied cases
ship.
from disloyal husbands to witch doctor
Any final thoughts?
abductions. Often sharing a cup of bush tea
It’s important that people remember that
with her clients, Mma Ramotswe handles
NVC must be practiced. It’s truly like learn-
each case with humor, compassion, and
ing a whole new language.
grace. Her heart holds true in all difficulties,
For information on upcoming local
as does her faith in the traditional values
classes on NVC, visit http://groups.yahoo.
of her people.This detective is relentless,
com/group/SLONVC, or call Alexandra
intuitive, and down to earth in her approach
at (805) 459-7453. Also visit The Center for
to the private lives of her clients. Any reader
Nonviolent Communication at: www.cnvc.
can relate to the gentleness and common
org
sense of our heroine, while enjoying the
Alexandra offers intuitive healing
color and hilarity surrounding the agency’s
sessions, aura readings, spiritual counsel-
daily life.
ing, and classes on intuitive development
in Avila Valley. Alexandra provides a
healing clinic open to the public every
Wednesday evening at 7pm. Call her at
(805) 459-7453.

Women’s Press May/June 2006 E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org Page 11


Spirituality Matters
Ethics and Choice
By Heather Mendel
Religious traditions all speak of
a sense of Oneness and the unity
from which we come and to which
we aspire. The physical world oper-
ates on the paradigm of dualities,
and perhaps the mystics are correct
when they teach that we need to
learn to value both diversity and
uniqueness at the same time.
How do we hold a position of
balance what at first blush appears
to be opposite ends of a spectrum?
Either we value our individuality
or we appreciate similitude. The
paradox is that we honor both - in
ourselves and in others.
Without the dark can we ap-
preciate the light? Until we know
illness do we appreciate health?
The Dalai Lama has suggested
that until we have an enemy we
cannot know compassion. Only
when we know the two polarities
of any situation, and can feel the
emotions that are part of the two
extremes. Then we are in a posi-
tion to make a choice.
Choice is the essence of creating
a meaningful spiritual life. In ev-
ery moment, in every opportunity
we have the chance to choose a re-
sponse - or choose not to respond
at all. When upset, we can become
Page 12
Body and Soul
angry or refrain from anger. We
can choose to act with responsibil-
ity towards ourselves (and others)
or not. While we do not have the
ability to control external events,
we do have the choice as to how to
respond. Harold Kushner used this
as a theme in his book When Bad
Things Happen To Good People. He
suggested that the question to ask
is not why bad things happen, but
how we respond.
Such choices influence the
quality of our lives. Even in a Nazi
concentration camp, evolved souls
like Viktor Frankel were able to
find things to appreciate in the
most dire of circumstances.
Irrespective of our religious,
political or social beliefs, we intui-
tively know when we do the right
thing. We experience a sense of joy
in doing something that helps an-
other; while diminishing some-one
in any way, or witnessing another’s
humiliation, leaves us with a sense
of dis-ease. This knowingness goes
beyond the intellectual sense of
right and wrong. As Rumi says:
“Out beyond ideas of right doing
and wrong doing, there is a field. I
will meet you there.”
In this ‘field’ beyond dualities,
we re-enter the Oneness from
E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org
which we all come. Here we recog-
nize one another. Our challenge is
to take that sense of knowingness
back into our everyday experi-
ences. We can choose to use it as a
guide in our daily decision-making
that is the privilege of living in a
free society. How do we show our
appreciation for the unparalleled
freedoms we in the US enjoy?
Perhaps we best show our maturity
and gratitude by learning to listen
to another’s perspective (especially
when the conclusion is not one
with which we agree) and in offer-
ing the other, the same respect we
wish them to show us.
Heather Mendel has focalized
women’s spirituality groups
for the past 15 years. She can be
contacted through her website at
www.wordartist.com, e-mailed
at heathermendel@charter.net
or called at 544-4933.
Relationship
Wisdom
The TV show that inspires
awareness & growth
through relationships.
SLO Public Access, Ch 2
Hosted by national author,
speaker & counselor
Laura V. Hyde
www.laurahyde.com
805.748.7506
Mon-3:30PM • Wed-7PM
Sat-4PM
Being a Life Toucher
By Laura Hyde
Teach no one that [she] is what
you would not want to be. Your
[sister] is the mirror in which you see
the image of yourself.
— A Course in Miracles
Perhaps the most powerful way
we can transform and achieve
healing in our relationships is
to BE exactly what we WANT.
Since like attracts like we can only
benefit from thinking and behav-
ing in ways that match what we
most desire. As we become more
accepting of ourselves and others,
more willing to be truly honest,
and take responsibility for our
lives, the universe will send those
whom mirror these same uplifting
and illuminating qualities. Thus
being a role model for others—be-
ing the change—is a potent way to
uplift and evolve our relationships.
So, right now, take a moment to
visualize and feel the essences of
what you most want in relation-
ship.
In my own life, some of the
qualities I appreciate in rela-
tionship are captured from the
heartfelt words on a poster recently
given to me by a friend titled, “I’m
A Life Toucher.” This enlightening
placard hangs in my office and was
created by motivational speaker
Bill Sanders. “I’m a Life Toucher”
demonstrates that all of us are
teaching others in one way or
another for we are always leading
through example.
Some of the differences between
ordinary “teaching” versus being a
“Life Toucher” include:
TEACHERS LIFE TOUCHERS
Push Pull
Give examples Are the examples
Teach a Are subject to
subject touching lives while
teaching lessons
Try to change Change themselves
others
Sometimes Get better and
get bitter better
Don’t like to Change what
change they don’t like (by
changing the way
they look at it)
Are interested Are interesting as
in teaching teachers
Talk the Walk the message
message
Tell Explain
Though the above may seem
to relate to traditional teaching,
it actually pertains to each of us.
Becoming clear of the example
we’re setting and taking responsi-
bility for it is essential if we desire
to create healthy relationships
rich with intimacy, joy, trust and
passion. Some soulful questions to
consider are:
1) What kind of relationships
do you want and what is keeping
you from having them?
2) Are you ready to discover the
more genuine “you”, and are you
willing to share your genuineness?
3) Are you willing to embrace
a new way of living, one that
completely honors who you are?
4) Do you feel deserving of hav-
ing relationships that support you
in your highest good?
9) Are you willing to let go of
patterns that are keeping you from
being the person you were born
to be?
6) Do you believe the time is
now for you to truly be what you
want?
A dear friend once shared
how she gave up an addiction
by reminding herself to “never
quit quitting.” We can always
start anew, right here, right now.
Today is the perfect day for being
a Life Toucher—the ideal time for
taking an honest inventory of our
relationships, letting go of past
resentments, asking for healing,
and enjoying the rich rewards that
result from having the courage to
do so. So go ahead, reach out and
“touch” someone today…!
Laura V. Hyde is the Spiri-
tual Leader of the Unity Church
- Five Cities, and offers numer-
ous workshops and retreats for
awakening the heart and spirit.
and is a facilitator of A Course
in Miracles. Laura is the host of
the show “Relationship Wisdom”
on Public Television. Please visit
her at www.laurahyde.com.
Stephanie McMillan | minimumsecurity.net
Women’s Press May/June 2006

“Women’s Way
to Wealth”
From Paycheck
to Prosperity
Saturday, May 20 Road (southwest corner of Madonna and
1-5 PM
University Union, Cal Poly, Room 220
PARKING FREE IN LOT AND
PARKING STRUCTURE
$5 for pre-registration and $10 at the door
Call Women’s Community Center 544-9313
This event is brought to you by local or-
ganizations that support women’s economic
independence. The day will consist of practi-
cal applications on a number of topics that
are financially important to women.
 Phil Cisneros, the keynote speaker, will
address the issues of global gender inequality
and relate it to local women.
The afternoon’s schedule will include
presentations on “Income Opportunities
and Money Management,” “Credit: How
Do You Rate?” “Consumerism and Spend-
ing,” and “Wise Retirement Investments.”
The day includes women’s physical and
mental well-being as well as financial health,
with a wrap-up on self-care, “Taking Care
of YOU.”  instilling the confidence in them to be
Other organizations that have contribut-
ed to the creation of this economic summit
include National Organization for Women,
Democratic Women United, SLO Economic
Opportunity Center of SLO County, Cal
Poly’s Women’s Center and SLO County
Commission on the Status of Women, The
cost of the event is  11:30 – 2:30 PM FREE
Translation services will be available for
Spanish-speakers and refreshments will be
served.
Women’s Press May/June 2006
Community Bulletin Board
DEMOCRATIC
WOMEN UNITED
Meets 4th Wednesday of each month at
6:30 pm in the Wayne McCaughin (GALA)
Community Center, 11573 Los Osos Valley
Los Osos Valley roads)
May 24: Primaries and Propositions:
learn about the primary election ballot
issues and candidates
June 28: The Demise of the Plural Soci-
ety - How our first amendment rights to free
speech and religious liberty are being eroded
by right wing Christian ideology. Bill
Lakin, of the National Advisory Council of
Americans United for Separation of Church
and State
Free Real Estate
Workshop for
Younger Women  and listen to music provided by two of the
Many young women feel they don’t have
the financial resources or the knowledge
they need to purchase a home at a young
age. But Younger Women’s Task Force
Central Coast (YWTFCC) is working to
empower younger women to pursue and
achieve this same goal at a young age by
educating them about home-buying, and
home-owners now, rather than later.
Five local real estate experts explain
everything from working with a realtor to
home inspections, from finding affordable
housing to types of loans, from building
credit to the escrow process.
May 13, 2006
Community Room of the San Luis
Obispo Library.
Refreshments provided
Registration Required: email Jaymi at
ywtfcc@yahoo.com with your name, phone
number, and names of any people attending
with you.
E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org
GALA To Present An
Evening Of Wine,
Women And Song
GALA (Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the
Central Coast) will present an evening of
Wine, Women and Songs on Saturday, May
13th, from 5:00 pm to 11:00 pm at the End
of the Line Café, 1150 Laurel Lane in San
Luis Obispo.
The event will be an opportunity for
women of the Central Coast to meet, build
community, enjoy wine and hors d’oeuvres,
Central Coast’s premier musicians, Carol
Lowell and Kristen Black. After the duo’s
performance, at approximately 7:00 pm,
Deejay Mo of Mobile Music will begin spin-
ning tunes for an evening of dancing.
Event coordinator, Ethel Landers, said
“We want an event that will appeal to
women of all ages and ethnicities both gay
and straight.”
$12 in advance, $15 at the door, which
includes appetizers.
For more information on this event,
please call the GALA Center at 805-541-
4252  or email your reservations to email@
ccgala.org. Also visit GALA on the web at
Women’s Creative Cooperative
Wild Craft Circles
Women who are interested in becoming
members of a Women’s Creative Coopera-
tive in San Luis Obispo are invited to call
Evelyn Adams Ryal at 815-8700 for more
information.
Wild Craft Circles, now forming
throughout San Luis Obispo to teach and
mentor women interested in learning wild
craft and nature faux techniques. Craft
teachers of other mediums are also sought
for our exciting cooperative opportunity.
Call Eve at 815-8700
Host Families
Needed!
Open your door to an international
exchange high school student
July 5th-August 1
Students form Austria, Hungary, Spain,
Norway, Sweden, Russia, and Hong Kong
Contact Program Coordinator Jacky
Lopez 541-4492
Friends and Families
of Military Personnel
Support Group
is a drop–in group to help people deal
with the stress of war, and the stress of
having a loved one serving in the military
in these troubled times. Brown bag lunch
group meets weekly on Thursdays, begin-
ning March 16, at Community Counseling
Center, 1129 Marsh St., SLO. More info call
543-7969. $5 per session.
Safe and Sober
Support Group
Starting Soon
 The Women’s Shelter Program of San
Luis Obispo County is offering a support
group for women who are survivors of both
domestic violence and substance abuse.
The “Safe and Sober” group will be offered
Wednesdays from 3:30 to 5pm in San Luis
Obispo.
The Safe and Sober group focuses on
how to achieve higher levels of self-esteem,
to develop better coping skills, and create
healthy relationships. Women who would
like to participate must have at least 30 days
of sobriety, must be survivors of domestic
violence, and must be willing to commit to
attending at least 12 sessions.
To enroll in the support group or obtain
more information about this or other agency
services, please call (805) 473-6507.
Afternoon of
Epicurean Delights
Returns to the
Central Coast
EOC Health Services is thrilled to
announce the 19th annual Afternoon of
Epicurean Delights to be held on Sunday,
June 4, 2006 from 11:30-3:30 at the beauti-
ful Chapman House by the Sea overlook-
ing the cliffs in Shell Beach. Afternoon of
Epicurean Delights is the only fundraising
event undertaken by the Economic Oppor-
tunity Commission (EOC) Health Services
Division. It supports the of many valuable
prevention services for women, men, and
teens throughout San Luis Obispo County.
Afternoon of Epicurean Delights guests
will have the opportunity to sample offer-
ings from an outstanding gathering of local
chefs, restaurateurs, caterers, and food and
beverage purveyors. Joining them will be
some of the Central Coast’s finest vintners
and brewers. The vendors all generously
donate their talents and tasting samples for
this popular annual event.
EOC Health Services provides free com-
prehensive reproductive health services and
education to underserved individuals and
families throughout the county. Last year,
Health Services provided 9000 reproduc-
tive health visits; 518 free mammograms;
prevention education to over 2700 middle
and high school students; after-school youth
development activities to over 100 Nipomo
teens; case management and advocacy to193
pregnant and parenting teens; removal of
unwanted gang-related and/or antisocial
tattoos for more than 80 participants; and
9000 senior health screenings to over 2000
senior citizens.
The Afternoon is a sellout event that draws
over 500 guests each year. Tickets are $100.
For questions or more information about
the event, please contact Kayla Wilburn at
544-2498 ext. 21.
Page 13
 Community Bulletin Board
VOLUNTEER ART FROM THE
OPPORTUNITIES HEART
June 17, 2006
A fund-raising event for
LifeSteps Foundations, a non profit
corporation that serves the devel-
opmentally disabled, the elderly,
“Strength is the and women in recovery. Event will
capacity to break a have art from LifeSteps clients and
chocolate bar into four employees as well as many local
pieces with your bare artists in an effort to raise funds for
hands – and then eat a struggling facility. We need art
Becoming a mentor takes just one of the pieces.” from your clients and from you for
only 6-8 hours a month for at — Judith Viorst this to be a success. contact Cherri
least a year. That time goes by
Neal at (805) 748-9172,
quickly. Many of our Bigs say
they get more out of mentoring “The connections
than the kids do. It’s the chance between and among
to be young again, to share their woman are the most
interests, and to experience their feared, the most prob-
favorite activities from a fresh lematic, and the most
young perspective. Currently we potentially transform-
have 50 children on the wait list. ing force on the planet.”
They range in age from 6 to 16 — Adrienne Rich
and in location from Nipomo to
San Miguel. For more information
please call Big Brothers Big Sisters
at 781-3226.
Prado Day Center, Della
Wagner, 786-0617. Center is open
7 days a week from 8:30 am - 4:30
pm.
Grover Beach Central Coast
Exploration Station is currently
seeking the following volunteers:
Teachers, Teachers Assistants,
Administrative Assistants/Data
Entry, Mentors, Docents, Public
Relations/Fundraising, Website
Development, andother volunteer
opportunities. Commitment
hours are flexible and unlimited.
Contact: Janaan Miles (805) 473-
1421; email:
exec@explorationstation.org or
you can visit our website at
www.explorationstation.org

NVC
WORKSHOP
WHEN:
Saturday, June 24 – Sunday, June
25, 2006: 9:30 am – 5:30 pm (both
days)
WHERE:
Creative Mediation, 265 South St.,
Ste. A, San Luis Obispo, CA
WHO:
Newcomers or people with basic
ok ing for Then look to your good neighbor
Lo
knowledge of the NVC process
COST: State Farm® agent. Through an
Deepen -FBSO
NFUIPET
GPS
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CONTACT:
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send check or money order payable you’re looking
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for, come see
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 12th St, Los Osos, CA 93402
JOOFSHVJEF!TCDHMPCBMOFU DESCRIPTION: me today:
Based on the practice of Nonvio-
lent Communication (NVC) de- Susan Rodriguez, Agent
veloped by psychologist Marshall Call for details on coverage, costs,
restrictions and renewability. Lic.# 0D30697
Rosenberg, participants will learn *Coverages issued and underwritten 1317 Broad Street Suite A
by Fortis Insurance Company,
to create the quality of connection a Fortis Health member company,
San Luis Obispo, CA
Milwaukee, Wisconsin. No member 805-783-7050
where everyone’s needs -- even in of the State Farm family of
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financially
through compassionate giving, responsible for the

without the use of violence or

Individual Medical
Coverage product. Like a good neighbor,
coercion. This event is designed for
Fortis Insurance
Company is not an
State Farm is there.®
affiliate of
beginners and people with some State Farm. statefarm.com®
State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Company
previous exposure to Nonviolent P01421 11/02 Home Office: Bloomington, Illinois
Communication.

Page 14 E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org Women’s Press May/June 2006

 Resources
ABUSE
Adults Molested as Children Support Group (AMAC) Talk/Listen - Emotional support 544.1342 (SLO)
545.8888 489.5481 Planned Parenthood
Center for Alternatives to Domestic Violence Transformations Counseling Center SLO 549.9446
781.6406 Free monthly workshops 541.7908 Stroke Support Group
North County Women’s Shelter & Resource Center, 471.8102 (SLO)
(inc. domestic violence support groups) FINANCE/BUSINESS Caregivers of Stroke Survivors
461.1338 Consumer Credit Counseling Services 544.2266 (SLO)
Rape Survivors Support Group, SLO 800.540.2227 Women’s Support/Therapy v (general)
545.8888 Mission Community Services Corporation 534.1101
SARP (Sexual Assault Recovery & Prevention) Women’s Business Partners Women’s Healthcare Specialists
545.8888 595.1356 www.mcscorp.org 544.4883
Support Group for Sexual Assault Survivors
545.8888 GAY & LESBIAN POLITICAL
Women’s Shelter Program of SLO Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the Central Coast Code Pink
781.6400 www.womensshelterslo.org 541.4252 ososousaville@aol.com
PFLAG.Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays Commission on Status of Women
ADDICTIONS 438.3889 545.8412; Dawn Williams
AA Meeting SOL (Single Older Lesbians) Democratic Women United
541.3211 Mostly socializing! Call 474.9405 541.4252
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) League of Women Voters
595.2695 HOSPICE 543.2220
Cambria Connection (12 step support) AIDS Bereavement Group (Hospice) NOW (National Organization for Women)
927.1654 544.2266 slonow@kcbx.net
Casa Solana Hospice of SLO County SLO Green Party
Women’s Recovery Home 481.8555 544.2266 and 434.1164 http://www.slo.greens.org 544.1580
Compulsive eaters Anonymous, H.O.W.Concept Younger Women’s Task Force
546.1178 JOBS/CAREERS www.ywtf.org
Drug & Alcohol Services AARP 788.2643
781.4275 Cal Poly Foundation READERS/WRITERS
NA 800.549.7730 Jobline 756.7107 Adult Literacy
Overeaters Anonymous Cal Poly University 541-4219
541.3164 http://calpolyjobs.org 756.1533 Nightwriters
SCA, SLAA & SAA (Sex, Love & Romance Addictions) Cuesta College 549.9656; contact Shirley Powell
461.6084 http://www.cuesta.edu Jobline 546.3127 Sisters in Crime
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) The Creekside Career Center http://SinC-CCC.blogspot.com
929.1789 www.slocareers.org 788.2631 or 788.2690
Women for Sobriety Department of Rehabilitation SENIORS
http://www.womenforsobriety.org 549.3361 Adult Day Care
215.536.8026 Mission Community Services Corporation 544.1414 (SLO); 748.9070 (Arroyo Grande);
Women’s Business Partners 434.2081 (Templeton); 927.4290 (Cambria)
ARTS 595.1356 www.mcscorp.org Computerooters:
Mothertongue Feminist Theater Collective Private Industry Council (PIC) Computer help: 528.3892
For info call: 528.6827 www.jobhunt.org 788.2601 Department of Social Services:
In-Home Support to the Elderly/Homemakers
CHILDREN & FAMILIES LEGAL help with ADLs 781.1790
Childcare Resource Connection ACLU Helpline nursing help for the terminally ill 781.5540
541.2272 or 800.727.2272 544.0142 Equal Singles 60+ Meet Monthly
Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) Core Mediation Services 489.5481, dg17@juno.com
“A child’s voice in Court in SLO County” 544.6334 medeee8@aol.com Foster Grandparents.Senior Companions
541.6542 District Attorney’s Office – Victim Witness Center 782.9200
Children’s Services Network 781.5821 Senior Peer Counseling
781.1847 Family Law Facilitator free, trained in.home counseling for 60+
First 5: Children & Families Commission 546.3769 547.7025 ext. 15
781.4058; ask for Susan Hughs Lawyers Referral Services/Legal Aid Alternative
Homeschooling in SLO County (HSC) 788.2099
Pro Per Divorce Workshop
SPIRITUAL (OR NOT)
462.0726; ask for Barbara A Course in Miracles
La Clinica De Tolosa 238.5334 544.9313 Mondays, 7 PM, Unity of SLO, 995.1390
La Leche League Senior Legal Services Awakening Interfaith Spiritual Community
489.9128 543.5140 Sunday service, 10–11 AM; 772.0306
Migrant Childcare Program Central Coast Jewish Historical Society
544.4355 and 466.3444 MEDICAL SUPPORT/SERVICES 543.9452
MOMS Club of South SLO county ALS Support Group (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) Meditation Group
473. 2548 227.4785 Mondays, 7:30–8:30 PM; 772.0306
Partnership for Children Alzheimer’s Support New Beginnings Church
541.8666; ask for Beth 534.9234 (LO); 547.3830 (SLO); Every Sunday, Coalesce Bookstore, MB
Real F.A.C.T.S. (Forum on Abused Children) 226.8669 (Templeton)
460.9016 Caregivers of Early-Stage Alzheimer’s WOMEN’S CENTERS/SHELTERS
Social Services 547.3830, 534.9234 (SLO/Los Osos) Homeless Shelter
781.1600 American Cancer Society 781-3993
Support for Kids Coping with Domestic Violence Paso Robles 238.9657 Housing Authority
473.6507 Anorexia Nervosa & Bulimia Support Group 543.4478
541.9113 North County Women’s Resource Center, Shelter
EMERGENCY/CRISIS Arthritis Foundation 461.1338
Hotline 892.5556 Prado Day Center
www.slohotline.org 800.549.8989 Cancer/ Breast Cancer Support Groups 786.0617
Sexual & Rape Prevention (SARP) 543.1481 ext. 3 for information Women’s Community Center, SLO
545.8888 or 800.656.HOPE (4673) Caregivers of Aging Parents 544.9313
Temporary Restraining Order & Victim Witness 547.3830 (AG); 927.4290 (Cambria); Women’s Shelter Program of SLO
Program 781.5821 226.8669 (PR); 547.3830 (SLO) 549.8989 (crises), 781.6401 (business)
Endometriosis Association www.womensshelterslo.org
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT www.endometriosisassn.org
A.D.A.P.T. (Aid in Divorce Adjustment Problems Today) Enhancement, Inc.
(for breast cancer survivors)
OTHER WOMEN’S ORGANIZATIONS
543.0388 Altrusa International, Inc.
Alzheimer/Dementia Resource Center 771.8640 www.enhancementinc.com 481.1039; Cici Wynn, President
434.3061 or 534.9234 or 800.443.1236 EOC Health Services Clinics Hadassah.SLO
CALL–Concerned Agoraphobics Learning to Live no or low cost reproductive health services 543.9452
543.3764 544.2478 (SLO); 489.4026 (Arroyo Grande) Women’s Network, SLO
Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) Healthworks of the Central Coast 546.3727 www.womenslo.org
542.0577 (SLO) 481.5093 (Grover Beach) no or low cost reproductive health services
927.1654 (Cambria) 466.8600 (North County) 787.0100 (SLO); 773.4500 (Pismo); OTHER GROUPS & GATHERINGS
Community Counseling Center 610.8865 (Atascadero) Central Coast Peace and Environmental Council
543.7969 Long-term Care Ombudsman Services of SLO County 544.3399 or 783.2383
Eating Disorders Support Group 785.0132 Compassion & Choices (formerly Hemlock Society)
546-3774; free, meets weekly in SLO Lymphedema Education & Support Group 938.7853 or 458.5328
Hospice of SLO County (inc. miscarriage/stillbirth 2nd Monday, 4:00-5:00 pm
support) 544.2266 or 434.1164 782-9300 for info Please send additions, corrections or deletions to:
Senior Peer Counseling Parkinson’s Support Groups editors@womenspress-slo.org or leave a message
free, trained in-home counseling for 60+ 466.7226 (Atascadero/Templeton)
at the WCC: 805.544.9313. Last update 5/3/06.
547.7025, ext. 15 481.7424, 473.1714 (Arroyo Grande)
Women’s Press May/June 2006 E-mail the editors: editors@womenspress-slo.org Page 15
Women’s Community Center
880 Industrial Way
San Luis Obispo, CA 93401 NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION
805.544.9313
U.S. POSTAGE PAID
PERMIT NO. 95
DATED MATERIAL — PLEASE DO NOT DELAY
SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA

Back talk What was your most memorable Mother’s Day?

photos by Anne Skelton

Sonja Nelson — The one
I remember was when
the whole family took my
mother, Thea, to a fancy
buffet restaurant. It had a
fancy ice sculpture, cham-
pagne, and we bought her
an orchid corsage. She was
thrilled--her beautiful blue
eyes sparkled.
Anji Roeser — Every one
of my Mother’s Days is
perfect.  It’s the one day
of the year my three girls
make wonderful for me.
Sue Moore — My most Nancy Johnson — As the Lily Demaree
memorable Mother’s Day mother of three teenagers, My most memorable Mother’s
was when my son took I often asked for peace and Day was when I won third
me out for breakfast. It tranquility when they wanted place in a poetry contest when
was so delicious. Just as to know what I wanted for I was 12 years old. The contest
he opened the car door Mother’s Day. One year they was titled “Why Mom Deserves
for me, I threw up all actually came through (sort A Diamond.” Third place
over him. He didn’t even of) and I received a selec- received a garnet from Mozam-
get mad. He told me he tion of herb tea and a can of bique, Africa. It made my Mom
loved me but please try whirled peas. They even made cry and she still has the garnet.
not to do this again. their own label for the peas.

Where to find Women’s Press

LONGEVITY
All SLO County Libraries
and the following exceptionally fine establishments!
NORTH COUNTY: Atascadero – Harvest Health Food Store, North

HEALTHCARE CENTER
County Connection, Senior Center, Women’s Resource Center/Shelter Office;
Paso Robles – Community Thrift Shop, Paso Robles Health Foods; Temple-
ton –  Twin Cities Hospital
Peter J. Muran, MD
NORTHERN COAST: Baywood – Coffee & Things;
Board Certified in Holistic Medicine
Cambria – Cambria Connection, Gym One, La Crema, 7 Sisters, Azevedo
Chiropractic; Cayucos – Cayucos Super Market, Kelley’s Espresso & Dessert,
Lily’s Coffee House, Ocean Front Pizza; Los Osos – Baywood Laundry, Cad’s,
Integrated Medicine Specializing in Cardiac, Brain, Carlock’s Bakery, Chamber of Commerce, Copa de Oro, Garden Café, Los
Digestive & Immune Disorders and Healthy-Aging Osos Deli, Valley Liquor, Volumes of Pleasure; Morro Bay – Backstage Salon,
Coalesce Bookstore, Coffee Pot Restaurant, The Rock, Southern Port Traders,
Sunshine Health Foods, Two Dogs Coffee
SAN LUIS OBISPO: Cal Poly Library, Center for Alternatives to Vio-
Sexual Vitality lence, Chamber of Commerce, Cuesta College Library, EOC Health Services
Clinic, French Hospital, Garden St. Essentials, HealthWorks, Healing Alterna-
Menopause tives, Jamaca You, Karen Hale Chiropractic, Laguna Laundry, Linnaea’s, Mon-
Natural Hormone Balancing for Men and Women terey Express, Natural Foods Coop, New Frontiers, Nautical Bean, Outspoken
Beverage Bistro, Panache, Phoenix Books, Planned Parenthood, Rudolph’s
Chronic Disease Care Coffee & Tea, San Luis Obispo Housing Authority Office, SARP, The Secret
Chelation, Detoxification and Nutritional Therapies Garden, Sierra Vista Hospital, SLO Perk Coffee, Spirit Winds Therapy, The
Studio Fitness for Women, Two Dogs Coffee, Unitarian Universalist Church,
Uptown Cafe, Yoga Centre, Ahshe Hair Salon, Apropos Clothing, Soho Hair
Salon, Tom-Mel Beauty Center
SOUTH COUNTY: Arroyo Grande – Act II Boutique,
Andreini’s, Central Coast Yoga, CJ’s Restaurant, Country Kitchen, Curves-
Reversing the Underlying Cause of Disease, AG, Cutting Edge, EOC Health Services Clinic, Family Chiropractic, Girls
Restaurant, Grande Whole Foods, Hunter’s Landing, Kennedy Club Fitness;
Not Just Symptom Management
Grover Beach – Back Door Deli, Cindi’s Wash House, Nan’s Pre-owned
Books, Therapeutic Body Center, 20-minute Fitness; Halcyon – Halcyon
Store; Nipomo – California Fresh; Pismo Beach – HealthWorks, Hon-
eymoon Café, Pismo Athletic Club; Shell Beach – Seaside Cafe, Steaming
1405 Garden Street, San Luis Obispo Bean
805-548-0987 SANTA MARIA: Café Monet, Hunter’s Landing, Library, Loading
Subscribe to Our Complementary Lecture Series and Newsletter at
Dock, Marian Medical Center
www.longevityhealthcare.com