Cosmic

Coupling

T HE SE X T R O L O GY O F R EL AT ION SHIP S

Starsky

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Cox

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Copyright © 2009 by Wheel Atelier Inc.
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Three Rivers Press, an imprint of the Crown
Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
Three Rivers Press and the Tugboat design are registered trademarks of
Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 978- 0-307-33796-2
Printed in the United States of America
Design by Jennifer Daddio and Elina Nudelman
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First Edition

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To purchase a copy of 

Cosmic Coupling 
 

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contents
Introduction

Aries Man + Libra Man
Aries Woman + Libra Woman

2

the contest
the cotillion

42

the riddle
the rite
the rub
the rush

44

the escapade
the élan
the extreme
the event

50

the crusade
the crossroads
the conduit
the core

56

the anomaly
the analogy
the association
the alcove

62

the reverie
the refuge
the realness
the residence

68

the front
the freehold
the fold

74

the camp
the courtship

78

43

Aries + Scorpio

Aries + Aries
Aries Man + Aries Woman
Aries Man + Aries Man
Aries Woman + Aries Woman

the ultimate
the unspoken
the urge

Aries Man + Scorpio Woman
Aries Woman + Scorpio Man
Aries Man + Scorpio Man
Aries Woman + Scorpio Woman

4
6
7

Aries + Taurus
Aries Man + Taurus Woman
Aries Woman + Taurus Man
Aries Man + Taurus Man
Aries Woman + Taurus Woman

the classic
the counterpoint
the clash
the crush

48
49

Aries + Sagittarius

8

Aries Man + Sagittarius Woman
Aries Woman + Sagittarius Man
Aries Man + Sagittarius Man
Aries Woman + Sagittarius Woman

10
12
13

Aries + Gemini
Aries Man + Gemini Woman
Aries Woman + Gemini Man
Aries Man + Gemini Man
Aries Woman + Gemini Woman

46

52
54
55

Aries + Capricorn

the heat
the happening
the hunger
the hype

14

the fairytale
the fix
the failsafe
the foray

20

the glow
the gold
the grabbag
the guild

26

31

Aries Man + Pisces Woman
Aries Woman + Pisces Man
Aries Man + Pisces Man
Aries Woman + Pisces Woman

the puzzle
the pact
the plot
the project

32

Taurus + Taurus

34

Taurus Man + Taurus Woman
Taurus Man + Taurus Man
Taurus Woman + Taurus Woman

the compound
the complement

38

Aries Man + Capricorn Woman
Aries Woman + Capricorn Man
Aries Man + Capricorn Man
Aries Woman + Capricorn Woman

16
18
19

Aries + Cancer

58
60
61

Aries + Aquarius

Aries Man + Cancer Woman
Aries Woman + Cancer Man
Aries Man + Cancer Man
Aries Woman + Cancer Woman

Aries Man + Aquarius Woman
Aries Woman + Aquarius Man
Aries Man + Aquarius Man
Aries Woman + Aquarius Woman

22
24
25

Aries + Leo

64
66
67

Aries + Pisces

Aries Man + Leo Woman
Aries Woman + Leo Man
Aries Man + Leo Man
Aries Woman + Leo Woman

28
30

70
72
73

Aries + Virgo
Aries Man + Virgo Woman
Aries Woman + Virgo Man
Aries Man + Virgo Man
Aries Woman + Virgo Woman

36
37

76
77

Taurus + Gemini

Aries + Libra
Aries Man + Libra Woman
Aries Woman + Libra Man

Taurus Man + Gemini Woman
Taurus Woman + Gemini Man

40

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Taurus Man + Gemini Man
Taurus Woman + Gemini Woman

the co-op
the clatch

82

Taurus + Pisces

83

Taurus Man + Pisces Woman
Taurus Woman + Pisces Man
Taurus Man + Pisces Man
Taurus Woman + Pisces Woman

Taurus + Cancer
Taurus Man + Cancer Woman
Taurus Woman + Cancer Man
Taurus Man + Cancer Man
Taurus Woman + Cancer Woman

the purpose
the package
the posture
the practice

84

89

Gemini + Gemini

90

Gemini Man + Gemini Woman
Gemini Man + Gemini Man
Gemini Woman + Gemini Woman

the imprint
the item
the itch
the industry

Gemini Man + Cancer Woman
Gemini Woman + Cancer Man
Gemini Man + Cancer Man
Gemini Woman + Cancer Woman

95

the mother lode
the mandate
the maneuver
the match

96
98

Gemini Man + Leo Woman
Gemini Woman + Leo Man
Gemini Man + Leo Man
Gemini Woman + Leo Woman

101

the beauty
the breeze
the break
the benefit

102

the lab
the lure
the leap
the limit

108

104

Gemini Man + Virgo Woman
Gemini Woman + Virgo Man
Gemini Man + Virgo Man
Gemini Woman + Virgo Woman

107

110

Gemini Man + Libra Woman
Gemini Woman + Libra Man
Gemini Man + Libra Man
Gemini Woman + Libra Woman

113

the thrill
the trip
the trance
the trust

114
116

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the parity
the push
the particular
the palimsest

154

the groove
the gravytrain
the gas
the glom

160

the web
the whodunit
the work
the wunderkind

166

the reflex
the reflection
the riot
the rally

172

the operation
the opacity

178

146
147

150
152
153

156
158
159

162
164
165

Gemini + Scorpio

118

Gemini Man + Scorpio Woman
Gemini Woman + Scorpio Man
Gemini Man + Scorpio Man
Gemini Woman + Scorpio Woman

119

the understanding
the upside
the usual
the utmost

the method
the mission
the moment
the miscellany

148

144

Gemini + Libra

112

168
170
171

120
122

Gemini + Sagittarius

124

Gemini Man + Sagittarius Woman
Gemini Woman + Sagittarius Man
Gemini Man + Sagittarius Man
Gemini Woman + Sagittarius Woman

125

Taurus + Aquarius
Taurus Man + Aquarius Woman
Taurus Woman + Aquarius Man
Taurus Man + Aquarius Man
Taurus Woman + Aquarius Woman

the boon
the booty
the boast
the blast

141

Gemini + Virgo

106

Taurus + Capricorn
Taurus Man + Capricorn Woman
Taurus Woman + Capricorn Man
Taurus Man + Capricorn Man
Taurus Woman + Capricorn Woman

142

140

Gemini + Leo

100

Taurus + Sagittarius
Taurus Man + Sagittarius Woman
Taurus Woman + Sagittarius Man
Taurus Man + Sagittarius Man
Taurus Woman + Sagittarius Woman

the test
the trade
the tryst
the tirade

137

Gemini + Cancer

94

Taurus + Scorpio
Taurus Man + Scorpio Woman
Taurus Woman + Scorpio Man
Taurus Man + Scorpio Man
Taurus Woman + Scorpio Woman

138

136

92

Taurus + Libra
Taurus Man + Libra Woman
Taurus Woman + Libra Man
Taurus Man + Libra Man
Taurus Woman + Libra Woman

the hive
the hotbed
the home depot

134

88

Taurus + Virgo
Taurus Man + Virgo Woman
Taurus Woman + Virgo Man
Taurus Man + Virgo Man
Taurus Woman + Virgo Woman

132

86

Taurus + Leo
Taurus Man + Leo Woman
Taurus Woman + Leo Man
Taurus Man + Leo Man
Taurus Woman + Leo Woman

the winner
the wonder
the would-be
the well-being

174
176
177

126
128

Gemini + Capricorn

130

Gemini Man + Capricorn Woman
Gemini Woman + Capricorn Man

131

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Gemini Man + Capricorn Man
the obvious
Gemini Woman + Capricorn Woman the ovation

182

Cancer + Capricorn

183

Cancer Man + Capricorn Woman
Cancer Woman + Capricorn Man
Cancer Man + Capricorn Man
Cancer Woman + Capricorn Woman

Gemini + Aquarius
Gemini Man + Aquarius Woman
Gemini Woman + Aquarius Man
Gemini Man + Aquarius Man
Gemini Woman + Aquarius Woman

the jollies
the jigger
the jest
the jamboree

184

Cancer Man + Aquarius Woman
Cancer Woman + Aquarius Man
Cancer Man + Aquarius Man
Cancer Woman + Aquarius Woman

189

the mirage
the machine
the maelstrom
the modus operandi

the levee
the landed
the locker

190
192

Cancer Man + Pisces Woman
Cancer Woman + Pisces Man
Cancer Man + Pisces Man
Cancer Woman + Pisces Woman

195

198
199

Leo + Leo

the fealty
the force
the fief
the felicitation

200

Leo Man + Leo Woman
Leo Man + Leo Man
Leo Woman + Leo Woman

the cache
the cinch
the club
the coven

206

202

the finery
the funhouse
the firm
the fast

Leo Man + Virgo Woman
Leo Woman + Virgo Man
Leo Man + Virgo Man
Leo Woman + Virgo Woman

205

208

the bower
the bunker
the burg
the be-in

Leo Man + Libra Woman
Leo Woman + Libra Man
Leo Man + Libra Man
Leo Woman + Libra Woman

211

212
214

the inlet
the intensity
the ignition
the initiation

248

the calling
the catch
the confines
the confidence

252

the balm
the balance
the brink
the board

258

the feast
the funk
the feel
the favor

264

the span
the stretch
the salute
the spectacle

270

the configuration
the collateral

276

241

244
246
247

250
251

254
256
257

260
262
263

Leo + Scorpio

216

Leo Man + Scorpio Woman
Leo Woman + Scorpio Man
Leo Man + Scorpio Man
Leo Woman + Scorpio Woman

217

266
268
269

218
220

Leo + Sagittarius

222

Leo Man + Sagittarius Woman
Leo Woman + Sagittarius Man
Leo Man + Sagittarius Man
Leo Woman + Sagittarius Woman

223

Cancer + Sagittarius
Cancer Man + Sagittarius Woman
Cancer Woman + Sagittarius Man
Cancer Man + Sagittarius Man
Cancer Woman + Sagittarius Woman

the pride
the prowess
the panacea

240

Leo + Libra

210

Cancer + Scorpio
Cancer Man + Scorpio Woman
Cancer Woman + Scorpio Man
Cancer Man + Scorpio Man
Cancer Woman + Scorpio Woman

242

238

Leo + Virgo

204

Cancer + Libra
Cancer Man + Libra Woman
Cancer Woman + Libra Man
Cancer Man + Libra Man
Cancer Woman + Libra Woman

the idyll
the infusion
the insulation
the idiom

235

196

Cancer + Virgo
Cancer Man + Virgo Woman
Cancer Woman + Virgo Man
Cancer Man + Virgo Man
Cancer Woman + Virgo Woman

236

234

Cancer + Pisces

194

Cancer + Leo
Cancer Man + Leo Woman
Cancer Woman + Leo Man
Cancer Man + Leo Man
Cancer Woman + Leo Woman

the awakening
the asylum
the academy
the atelier

232

Cancer + Aquarius

188

Cancer + Cancer
Cancer Man + Cancer Woman
Cancer Man + Cancer Man
Cancer Woman + Cancer Woman

230

186

Gemini + Pisces
Gemini Man + Pisces Woman
Gemini Woman + Pisces Man
Gemini Man + Pisces Man
Gemini Woman + Pisces Woman

the approach
the apex
the alternative
the antimatter

272
274
275

224
226

Leo + Capricorn

228

Leo Man + Capricorn Woman
Leo Woman + Capricorn Man

229

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Leo Man + Capricorn Man
Leo Woman + Capricorn Woman

the curiosity
the cut

280

Virgo + Pisces

281

Virgo Man + Pisces Woman
Virgo Woman + Pisces Man
Virgo Man + Pisces Man
Virgo Woman + Pisces Woman

Leo + Aquarius
Leo Man + Aquarius Woman
Leo Woman + Aquarius Man
Leo Man + Aquarius Man
Leo Woman + Aquarius Woman

the living-end
the lift
the lark
the lamp

282

287

Libra + Libra

288

Libra Man + Libra Woman
Libra Man + Libra Man
Libra Woman + Libra Woman

the realm
the roll-out
the rave
the range

Libra Man + Scorpio Woman
Libra Woman + Scorpio Man
Libra Man + Scorpio Man
Libra Woman + Scorpio Woman

293

the factory
the framework
the forum

294

Libra Man + Sagittarius Woman
Libra Woman + Sagittarius Man
Libra Man + Sagittarius Man
Libra Woman + Sagittarius Woman

297

the production
the proof
the party
the pass

298
300

Libra Man + Capricorn Woman
Libra Woman + Capricorn Man
Libra Man + Capricorn Man
Libra Woman + Capricorn Woman

303

the superiority
the seduction
the scrutiny
the scandal

304
306

Libra Man + Aquarius Woman
Libra Woman + Aquarius Man
Libra Man + Aquarius Man
Libra Woman + Aquarius Woman

309

the climb
the close
the cruise
the cabal

310
312

Libra + Pisces

314

Libra Man + Pisces Woman
Libra Woman + Pisces Man
Libra Man + Pisces Man
Libra Woman + Pisces Woman

315

the assignation
the ascension
the access
the acknowledgment

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the situation
the service
the sensation
the stuff

344

the dynasty
the dynamic
the dignity
the distance

350

the jury
the jewel
the jeté
the juice

356

the art
the articulation
the act
the assessment

362

the possession
the preoccupation
the peak

368

the studio
the sticker

372

340
342
343

346
348
349

352
354
355

Libra + Aquarius

308

358
360
361

364
366
367

316
318
320

Scorpio + Scorpio

321

Scorpio Man + Scorpio Woman
Scorpio Man + Scorpio Man
Scorpio Woman + Scorpio Woman

Virgo + Aquarius
Virgo Man + Aquarius Woman
Virgo Woman + Aquarius Man
Virgo Man + Aquarius Man
Virgo Woman + Aquarius Woman

the riches
the reason
the rhythm
the ride

337

Libra + Capricorn

302

Virgo + Capricorn
Virgo Man + Capricorn Woman
Virgo Woman + Capricorn Man
Virgo Man + Capricorn Man
Virgo Woman + Capricorn Woman

338

336

Libra + Sagittarius

296

Virgo + Sagittarius
Virgo Man + Sagittarius Woman
Virgo Woman + Sagittarius Man
Virgo Man + Sagittarius Man
Virgo Woman + Sagittarius Woman

the ephemeron
the epitome
the epicenter
the epilogue

333

Libra + Scorpio

292

Virgo + Scorpio
Virgo Man + Scorpio Woman
Virgo Woman + Scorpio Man
Virgo Man + Scorpio Man
Virgo Woman + Scorpio Woman

334

332

290

Virgo + Libra
Virgo Man + Libra Woman
Virgo Woman + Libra Man
Virgo Man + Libra Man
Virgo Woman + Libra Woman

the light
the line
the law

330

286

Virgo + Virgo
Virgo Man + Virgo Woman
Virgo Man + Virgo Man
Virgo Woman + Virgo Woman

328

284

Leo + Pisces
Leo Man + Pisces Woman
Leo Woman + Pisces Man
Leo Man + Pisces Man
Leo Woman + Pisces Woman

the supposition
the supplication
the surge
the splurge

370
371

322
324

Scorpio + Sagittarius

326

Scorpio Man + Sagittarius Woman
Scorpio Woman + Sagittarius Man

327

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Scorpio Man + Sagittarius Man
the stint
Scorpio Woman + Sagittarius Woman the study

377

Sagittarius Man + Pisces Man
Sagittarius Woman + Pisces Woman

378

Capricorn + Capricorn

376

Scorpio + Capricorn
Scorpio Man + Capricorn Woman
Scorpio Woman + Capricorn Man
Scorpio Man + Capricorn Man
Scorpio Woman + Capricorn Woman

the complex
the context
the council
the control

Capricorn Man + Capricorn Woman the view
Capricorn Man + Capricorn Man
the vault
Capricorn Woman + Capricorn Woman the vogue

380
382
383

416
417

418
420
421

Capricorn + Aquarius

Scorpio + Aquarius
Scorpio Man + Aquarius Woman
Scorpio Woman + Aquarius Man
Scorpio Man + Aquarius Man
Scorpio Woman + Aquarius Woman

the rapport
the respite

the advantage
the accolade
the antithesis
the accident

Capricorn Man + Aquarius Woman
Capricorn Woman + Aquarius Man
Capricorn Man + Aquarius Man
Capricorn Woman + Aquarius Woman

384
386
388
389

the hotbed
the hold
the hitch
the hamper

422

the choice
the check
the cheek
the chic

428

424
426
427

Capricorn + Pisces

Scorpio + Pisces
Scorpio Man + Pisces Woman
Scorpio Woman + Pisces Man
Scorpio Man + Pisces Man
Scorpio Woman + Pisces Woman

the issue
the installation
the insinuation
the isostasy

Capricorn Man + Pisces Woman
Capricorn Woman + Pisces Man
Capricorn Man + Pisces Man
Capricorn Woman + Pisces Woman

390
392
394

430
432
433

395

Aquarius + Aquarius

Sagittarius + Sagittarius
Sagittarius Man + Sagittarius Woman the olympics
Sagittarius Man + Sagittarius Man
the optimum
Sagittarius Woman + Sagittarius Woman the open

Aquarius Man + Aquarius Woman
the humanity
Aquarius Man + Aquarius Man
the heights
Aquarius Woman + Aquarius Woman the hollow

396
398

434
436
437

399

Aquarius + Pisces
Sagittarius + Capricorn
Sagittarius Man + Capricorn Woman
Sagittarius Woman + Capricorn Man
Sagittarius Man + Capricorn Man
Sagittarius Woman + Capricorn Woman

the emphasis
the emergency
the extremity
the exemption

Aquarius Man + Pisces Woman
Aquarius Woman + Pisces Man
Aquarius Man + Pisces Man
Aquarius Woman + Pisces Woman

400
402
404

438

the pietà
the pier
the piety

444

440
442
443

405

Pisces + Pisces

Sagittarius + Aquarius
Sagittarius Man + Aquarius Woman
Sagittarius Woman + Aquarius Man
Sagittarius Man + Aquarius Man
Sagittarius Woman + Aquarius Woman

the redress
the reveal
the resonance
the reel

the incubator
the intelligencer
the instigation
the insurgence

406

the resistance
the reliance

412

Pisces Man + Pisces Woman
Pisces Man + Pisces Man
Pisces Woman + Pisces Woman

408
410

446
447

411

Sagittarius + Pisces
Sagittarius Man + Pisces Woman
Sagittarius Woman + Pisces Man

414

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introduction

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With our first book, Sextrology, subtitled The Astrology of Sex and the Sexes, we put forth the notion that
men and women of the same sign were actually quite different from one another, and focused, thus,
on the twenty-four gender signs in the zodiac, outlining in considerable detail each one’s archetypal,
psychological, emotional, physical, and sexual natures, managing to break new ground in the field of
this starry science, even within the parameters of sun-sign analysis. And though our beloved readers
have expressed untold appreciation for the material we laid down in that “red bible,” as many have
called Sextrology, there was an almost immediate outcry for more information on, and insight into,
specific relationships, something we touched upon only briefly, in encapsulated form, at the end of
each of Sextrology’s chapters. Indeed, many a reader considered these relationship blurbs as “coming
attractions,” of sorts, presaging a second book, which wasn’t our original intention. Actually, the
second book we had in mind was one that explained the practicality of our original astrological
philosophy, something we have employed in our private consultations and long hinted at in our live
appearances (pin in that one for the time being).
Naturally, the last thing we wanted to do was ignore the requests of our rabid readers, and so
the concept for Cosmic Coupling was born. Though this book takes the 24 characters in Sextrology and
combines them with one another into every possible relationship, gay and straight, Cosmic Coupling
stands very much on its own. There are 300 possible relationship pairings in the zodiac, 144 heterosexual, and 156 gay and lesbian couples, 78 each. We therefore envisoned and proposed a 600-page
book, a two-page spread per combination; but the powers that be thought that was too unwieldy a
tome, and so our gay and lesbian friends, of which we have innumerable, were given one page each.
But fear not. We did our damnedest to hit all the same marks in those chapters as in the straight
ones. And who knows, maybe our gay readers will have their own Starsky + Cox book one day and
end up getting the lion’s share of attention after all. Anyway, herein, all the chapters are necessarily

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short. Still, whereas in Sextrology, we dedicated twenty-some pages to any given gender sign, Virgo
man, let’s say, here, in Cosmic Coupling, he has nearly forty pages to indulge his self-curiosity. Otherwise, there is the rest of the book via which to satisfy his signature voyeuristic streak, not being the
only individual to boast one.
Indeed, in this book, each sign’s secret, and sometimes not-so-secret, desires are revealed in relationship to every other sign. And though we didn’t have the luxury of endless space to go into great archetypal and psychological detail, we did try to illustrate each of the zodiacal figures, all of us, as much as
possible from that more academic perspective, one which seems to have resonated so strongly with our
audience. For those of you who glazed over such material in Sextrology, thinking myth-schmyth when
we waxed more metaphorical, if not metaphysical, anxious to get to the naughtier bits: well, you’ll be
pleased that in this volume you have less lofty musings to wade through. There is nary time to waste,
herein, tackling so vast a landscape of love and lust, via the stars, and we hope you’ll find, too, that there
is little room for error. It was our intention to live up to the reputation you’ve bestowed upon us for
being at turns high- and low-minded, smart and funny, timely and time-honoring, spiritually motivating and sexually candid, none such pairings of opposites being mutually exclusive but rather essential
components in the paradoxical nature of all things, personal relationships included.
Just as we seek to enlighten, remember that we wish to entertain you as well. Perhaps even more
so than our first book, Cosmic Coupling lends itself to hours of jolly recitation in the company of
intimates or those one hopes to draw closer. Even when a skeptical someone of a certain sign (perhaps that Virgo man) exclaims, “I’ve never done that,” when hearing the nitty-gritty details of his
partnering with a past or present lover, keep in mind that, chances are, he either secretly desires to
engage in such activities or else maybe he should. We respect the fact that ours is a sophisticated
readership and that you needn’t have text sugarcoated in order to ingest it. That said, we did try
to employ original turns of phrase to soften the impact of more shocking information, hoping to
inspire laughter, titillation, and/or revulsion in equal measure. Sex shouldn’t be some weighty taboo
subject, nor should it become so great a preoccupation, either. It is of course a core element of our
natures and the very impetus to life, while its more divergent themes and variations thereupon are
endlessly fascinating. To be fair, our dear, discriminating Virgo should know that not every shred of
analysis is going to hit the nail on the head; rather, when we assert a certain sexual activity is a Virgo
proclivity, that is to say that of all the signs, his is most likely to undertake it— not that every one of
his number will. We are still working within the general scope of sun-sign astrology here and can’t be
as exacting, on any subject, as we are when interpreting an individual’s own birth chart. And yet our
empirical approach to astrology as it applies, in our first two books, now, to sex (gender) and sexuality has, as our readers have expressed, been on target a great percentage of the time. And so, just as we
were so pleased to have brought to life the twenty-four sex signs of the zodiac in Sextrology, here we are
likewise proud to have illustrated just what happens when all these gorgeous characters are let loose
on one another. We hope our celestial survey of relationships brings a twinkle, twinkle to your eyes.

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GEMINI MAN

+

AQUARIUS WOMAN

the jollies
CHEMISTRY

Gemini has never encountered a more receptive girl than the Aquarian. She is warm and open, even
to his silly pickup lines, laughing gaily at his jokes, and returning his quips. He sees this creature,
infamously lit from within, who seems to have nary a mean-spirited bone in her body. Indeed,
Aquarius is fun loving and she, of all women, is attracted to Gemini’s prankish demeanor, just as
she is sent shivers by his signature mischievous smile and eyes. Aquarius is big “into energy,” while
good looks don’t hurt, either. Gemini man is a force of nature— an electrical storm wrapped in a
comely, typically compact package. Aquarius lives her life as in an eternal childhood— this girl, more
than any, just wants to kick up her heels. Gemini strikes her as the kind of guy who would not only
applaud her running away to join the circus but also tag right along with her. More than anything, it’s
a pal, a playmate, that Gemini seeks for a long-term relationship. In the Aquarius he envisions someone with whom he can share his whole life, not just intersect with this point or that. He is, in effect,
looking for his female twin. With him, the Waterbearer feels certain she’s found true romance. She
often has had her fair share of jaded guys— so Gemini can be a real breath of fresh air.
C O MPATIBILIT Y

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Aquarius is typically attracted to off-the-grid guys, which sees her landing some real losers. The
Twins is a streetwise character who enjoys bucking the system, if not mainstream society, in his
own harmless ways, but he’s rarely a misanthrope. He may be a biker, but he’ll still have a bankroll.
And he prides himself on providing for his lady, even if she’s the one trailing a fortune. Though a
creature of habit in many ways, Gemini likes to try new things, within reach— restaurants, vacation spots, sports, and so on. Aquarius will be right by his side. She is game even if she hasn’t got
it (she can be gawky). Aquarius rules Gemini’s cosmic 9th house of aspirations, particularly those
relating to cultural exposure, travel, and otherwise expanding one’s mind via experience. Indeed, the
Waterbearer helps to lift Gemini outside his usual Habitrail, not only opening his mind to diverse
influences but helping him shift beyond his garden gate, extended family, and dusty cadre of cronies.
There is a shamanistic quality to the 9th house, and quirky Aquarius will support Gemini, especially
in his most far-out spiritual or intellectual vision quests. Gemini has great power of positive thinking,
which often goes untapped. Aquarius helps him plug into it. In turn, Gemini governs Aquarius’ 5th

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house of creativity, fun, and love affairs. To her this relationship feels like her first crush, in forever
mode. It provides her a wholesome sense of adventure, even in enjoying life’s little pleasures. And
because this astrological house rules real and metaphoric creativity, Aquarius, not the most maternally
instinctive of women, is especially broody, wanting to reproduce, just as she’s more likely to breathe
life into artistic brainchildren. If and when this relationship breaks up, it can be most devastating
for her.
CARNALIT Y

Aquarius can’t seem to get enough of her Gemini man. He’s the king of the quickies, and she, too,
learns to enjoy a lot of little sex rather than infrequent major freak sessions. She tends to be kinkier
than he is, but so long as she keeps that slightly under wraps, he’s happy to indulge her in the privacy
of their own love shack. She would even do well to feign never having explored her wackier fantasies
until meeting the Gemini man, making him feel worthy of her trust. At the very least she should
play down past experiences. Gemini has a dual madonna-whore dynamic going on with women. He
likes to think he’s getting the former and creating the latter. For Waterbearers seeking advice: What
Gemini doesn’t know will never kill him. But it’s hard for this fellow, whose sign motto is “I think,”
to get images out of his head. Not that he’s so vanilla flavored. For starters, he will easily indulge
in a bit of bondage. All Geminis fancy themselves swashbuckling pirates so he may enjoy putting
his Aquarian wench in irons. Teasing activities and mind games are always fun for the Twins, so
blindfolding the Waterbearer and taking her by myriad surprises puts an extra twinkle in his eye,
while preventing getting any tinkle in hers. Look, once you let loose the rude-boy side of Gemini’s
persona, there is no limit to what he’ll get up to. And no woman is more likely to go with it than
she. A too hardcore edge notwithstanding, sex for these two thrives on variety. That means forever
trying new positions, rooms, and pieces of furniture. Shagging in offbeat public places, too— taxis,
elevators, trains, all such clichés are anything but for these excitement addicts. Aquarius likes to bring
out the animal in Gemini, who can be measured, and actually quite artful, in his sexual style. Most
women never quite unleash the beast the way the Waterbearer intends to. She is an unsqueamish character and will rarely blink at swallowing, say, or using her mouth in places the sun doesn’t shine. If
anything, he will get grossed out for her. He can be a real clean freak, and odors, to his mind, should
be kept to a minimum. He also likes a tidy workspace, meaning Aquarius will want to invest in some
serious bushwhacking. Gemini has something of a sanitized vision of nookie; and, sexist though it
may sound, the closer a woman resembles some airbrushed bunny from the pages of his favorite
magazines, the better. Aquarius does enjoy costuming and here she has fun with that fact. Besides,
she’s been wondering where to wear her rainbow legwarmers with her purple platform stilettos and
crotchless chartreuse bodysuit. Gemini appreciates any efforts made to fulfill his fantasies, and we
can’t think of any lady who’s more willing to accept the challenge. If anything, he will struggle to
come up with new ideas.

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GEMINI WOMAN

+

AQUARIUS MAN

the jigger
CHEMISTRY

Of all the would-be love bonds, this is the least categorical. There are so many variables, here, it’s
difficult to solidly outline. But it would seem that these creatures have extreme reactions to one
another. They either repel or completely lose themselves in each other, even from the get-go. The
repel scenario we don’t need to discuss, it’s the other end of the spectrum that holds optimum fascination, one such word that could also title this chapter. Aquarius can have a mesmerizing effect on
the Gemini, whose mind, she immediately senses, the Waterbearer seeks to control. He has that guru
vibe about him, like the biblical water bearer John the Baptist, and Gemini is susceptible to such a
lone, clear voice in the wilderness she perceives to be the world. Aquarius is the sole fixed-air sign of
the zodiac, air representing thought and the mental plane. For him, ideas are thus solid facts, and he
experiences his opinions as such, quite emphatically. The sign of Gemini is mutable air, recalling a
buzzy barrage of information, which is why Geminis can be at turns flighty and manipulative, like
Tinker Bell, a cartoon version of Eris, the goddess of discord, causing major mischief. So Gemini
becomes the perfect agent for Aquarius’ notions, particularly those he has about her role in his life.
C O MPATIBILIT Y

N

It is incredibly difficult for Gemini to have her autonomy in this relationship, but this is the very
dynamic to which she can become addicted. Friends may grill her to gauge her happiness, and even
amid varying doses of misery, Gemini, herself, can’t put her finger on what it is that this relationship means to, or provides, her. Aquarius rules Gemini’s cosmic 9th house of the higher mind and
shamanistic visions. And, indeed, the Waterbearer tries to urge the Twins to more elevated ways
(his) of perceiving the world. He is the literal shaman, here, in this combination, seeking to impose
his visions upon her. Now, that can be beneficial, or not. She may indeed better herself via the bond
or become basically brainwashed. Either way, this relationship is a baptism-by-fire for her. It starts
off fast and only becomes more furious. Gemini in turn governs Aquarius’ creative 5th house of love
affairs, all social pleasures, gaming and gambling, among other like attributes. And, as is often the
case, Aquarius treats Gemini like someone with whom he’s having a fling, even if it’s a forever thing,
which can be exciting and romantic, but leave her feeling that depth is missing. He definitely relies
on her to be his link to the social world, relegating all responsibility on that score. He can feel she’s

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something of a project, a wayward waif he’s taken a gamble on, hoping to be set on the straight and
narrow (read: his myopic vision of the world). It’s nearly impossible to gauge the level of Aquarian
detachment, but here it is especially difficult. One gets the sense that he couldn’t be bothered if she
were to pack up and go; yet he could just as easily crumble into a thousand pieces— Gemini becomes
such an integral part of his functioning existence. A part he prepared for her.
CARNALIT Y

One shudders to think what this couple could get up to. Basically whatever Aquarius can devise.
But erring on this side of decency, we’ll steer clear of images of either or both of them completely
encased in shiny electric blue or yellow latex, hanging from the ceiling like inanimate objects. Suffice
to say, Aquarius’ signature control plays out in the bedroom, in spades. Imagine him, fully dressed,
perhaps in an impeccable suit (for fun, we can picture Christian Bale), unruffled, stoic; and that
Gemini (Natalie Portman?) is prone, completely naked, waiting for her next instruction. Perhaps
she will only be directed to play with herself here and there, this way or that; or to creep over on all
fours and, carefully, avoiding flattening the creases in his trousers, unzip him and just touch it, only
touching, for a specified amount of time, until, that’s enough, gently putting it back in its clothed
cage. Enough until next time. It’s this sort of, well in this case literally, dangling himself before the
Geminian lover that really gets this guru going. And, she can barely believe it; she finds it thrilling,
too, even in its ridiculous frustration. Whereas he won’t get away with this with most women, it’s
the submission of her mind to his will that fuels fantasies he mightn’t even have realized were banging around that egghead of his. So there is this sort of symbiotic psychoerotic improv going on all
the time, the direction of which neither of them can actually predict. Let’s call it sexual jazz. Typically it will involve spanking. When this disciplinary man meets the eternally schoolgirlish Gemini
disciple, you can bet on some major paddywacking, a nice red behind rivaling any body part for
stimulating the Aquarian’s libido. The more he withholds affection, the more she craves it, clinging
to him even as they sleep. And when erotic buildup finally leads to the main event (if there is one),
Aquarius reveals his special talents: He knows, as if he sees the math in his head like a giant engineering blueprint, at what height and angle to place his Gemini love toy, positioning her, say, on all
fours, bidding her arch or straighten herself, like a breeder showing off a blue-ribbon winner, so that
when he glides into her it is at the perfect angle for her pleasure especially. (He likes to figure this
stuff out in advance.) And then he will plunge in and out of her such that the full length is felt to
the very tip without it slipping away before it dives in again, making Gemini realize that long strokes
of this skill provoke sensations she’s never before experienced. And this typically well-endowed man
will do this with rhythmic regularity for hours, providing the Twins with countless orgasms, made
all the more powerful by his carefully placed digits on her love button or slightly inside her bum.
And then he speeds it up, begging the question, With Aquarius around, who needs electronic sexual
devices?

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GEMINI MAN

+

AQUARIUS MAN

the jest
CHEMISTRY

Aquarius is the proverbial ugly duckling who is charmingly unaware that he is the lead swan. Gemini
tends to be tongue-tied (will wonders never cease?) and may go into superjoke mode to break the
tension— his. Now, it’s not accurate to say that all of Gemini’s humor goes over the Waterbearer’s
head, or, more precisely, under it, but much of it is lost on him. Even famous Aquarian comedians—
Chris Rock, Eddie Izzard— employ a high-minded brand of yuks. Gemini has difficulty connecting,
but it’s worth the effort, as once contact on this level is made with the rather alien Aquarian, a channel
is permanently open and conversation can flow. But months may pass before this happens. Ah, that
awful, delicious feeling of not knowing what to say to your crush. These fellows know it all too well.
C O MPATIBILIT Y

Uranus, which rules Aquarius, is said to be a higher vibration of Mercury, Gemini’s governing orb.
Both planets are about communication, universally and immediately, respectively. Indeed, Aquarius
is concerned with ideas that affect people ubiquitously, while Gemini is focused on how information
shakes down to him and his intimates. Teaching each other the benefit of taking the opposing view
is a growth experience for both guys. Gemini may feel the Aquarius is hard to reach, that he doesn’t
express affection. And it’s true, the Waterbearer tends to divest emotion generally, feeling for the
world more noticeably than for any one individual, while Gemini is fairly Machiavellian and has
that mob mentality of only taking care of one’s own. Seems like a problem until they realize that
they have very defined roles, in life and in their relationship, and they do declare, “Vive la différence.”
CARNALIT Y

N

Like all bonds of this sign combination, there are definitely some kinks to be worked out and folded
in. Both fellows are fairly versatile, so, on any given night, they can flip a coin to decide who’s flipping over. Oral sex is the most popular item on the menu. And, both being hygienic creatures, they
like to get squeaky clean, giving them license to rim and otherwise use their gobs who knows where.
Aquarius is happy swallowing, while Gemini prefers a good facial now and again. Often, the Waterbearer has his fetishes, which usually involve being the object of worship. He might enjoy his Gemini
boy groveling at his feet, for instance, or having the Twins make gag or whimper sounds while blowing him. There are any number of possible quirks in Aquarian’s sexuality, these being just possible
examples. Gemini can go along with anything, so long as it’s not too weird or intense. He keeps one
foot on solid sexual ground, uttering his safe word before others would, lest the joke be on him.

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GEMINI WOMAN

+

AQUARIUS WOMAN

the jamboree
CHEMISTRY

In guessing people’s signs, Gemini and Aquarius women are often mistaken for the other. They are
typically bouncy little babes with round, kewpie-doll features. Even when they’re lanky supermodels, they have childlike faces, voices, and demeanors. These femmes make fast friends, immediately
bonding, both being outgoing and endowed with a motormouth. They are touchy-feely and Gemini,
especially, senses the electricity between them. Aquarius can be hard to read when it comes to sexual
interest. Yet at the same time, it’s nearly possible to offend her: Gemini will work herself into a
frenzy to make the first move, only for the Waterbearer to accept or decline her affections with
equally steady emotion. Funny that Gemini female trips over herself to please the easy Aquarian.
C O MPATIBILIT Y

In truth, the Twins needs constant reassurance of the importance of her love bond. But Aquarius
is loath to overanalyze for fear of destroying the unspoken beauty. So Gemini needs to chill and
Aquarius needs to pipe up with appreciative nods. Otherwise, these two tend to enjoy a breezy time
of it. In some ways, each gives the other license to revel in her arrested development. There is a real
love of lowbrow culture, kitsch, and cartoons and their home tends to be filled with tchotchkes. They
are an intensely social pair, sharing an extended family of friends, constantly to’ing and fro’ing, or
taking group trips, typically, to exotic places where one can live on a shoestring. In the end, despite
her natural distancing from emotions, Aquarius is the mother figure within the relationship and her
community. Gemini dotes on her as a lady who speaks her mind and whom one must never cross.
CARNALIT Y

As emotionally needy as Gemini may be, Aquarius’ sexual requirements are heavy. And she has a
built-in radar for really knowing if a lover is into her, or divesting feelings or body parts elsewhere.
Aquarius can’t abide it. Cuddling is never enough. She must be valued as a sexual persona and given
vivid demonstration on that score. Gemini can feel overwhelmed at first by Aquarius’ outsized libido
and the Waterbearer’s no-holds-barred approach to getting it on. Sex with Aquarius is not for the
squeamish, as she gives a lover a thorough working over and expects the same in return. No beating
around the bush, pun intended, Aquarius requires major penetration, and she goes for girth over
length when it comes to toys. With Gemini, sex is equal parts kinky and romantic, bondage and
bouquets. Gemini will typically play the more submissive role, here, and the Aquarius mistress might
make her into quite the obedient servant whom she nonetheless treats as a most prized possession.

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Cosmic Coupling 
 

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