WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED

TO KNOW ABOUT WOMEN, ANSWERED

The Encyclopedia Of
Seduction
by Giuseppe Notte

ALL ABOUT WOMEN

- The Encyclopedia Of Seduction
CONTENTS

Foreword

PART ONE

Being a woman 6
If only I was a woman 6
What a girl wants, what a girl needs 7
Understanding women 9
PART TWO

How to be the Man 16

What a real Man is like, what it means to lead 16
Typical errors men make and how to avoid them 21
Dressing, working out, taking care of yourself 24
Manly body language and voice tone 26
First put things together inside, then everything will be fine on the outside 28
PART THREE

The first step: meeting girls 30

Decide your goals and what you are willing to put in it all depends on you 30
Overcoming your fear of talking to strangers with mass approaches 32
Approaching her what mistakes to avoid 35
Approaching her what to say and how 37
Getting her phone number 41
When a girl wants to be approached 42
Meeting women from the net 44
PART FOUR

Second step: from the first date to having sex 47

On the phone 47
Where to go on the first few dates 48
What to talk about 50
Sex and critical topics 54
How to read women, signs that she is ready to go physical 56
How long does it take to lay her? 59
Getting women into the mood, three ways to kiss her 60

The make-out 63
Her place or yours 65
What to have at home, how your flat should look like

68

P A R T F IV E

Third step: keeping a relationship 71

How to keep a relationship 71
Multiple relationships 75
The law of attraction: similarities attract similarities 78
Few words about being happy in a relationship and finding The One

80

PART SIX

Sex 83
If you have problems during sex (most men do) 83
Do your kegels, have her do hers 84
Become a multi-orgasmic man 85
Foreplay, how to do it properly 86
STDs and birth prevention 89
How to find a womans G-Spot and give her incredible orgasms 90
Sexual play, sexual games (how to bring some variety into your sexual life) 91
Final words

95

Appendix A: Recommended reading

96

Visit us at www.seduction-and-dating.com!

Limited Edition
* Giuseppe Notte*

Foreword
Greetings fellow reader! Thanks for taking your time and reading my book: All about
women. The next few hours and even after, Ill be your guide through your journey. Ill do
my best to make it a good time for both of us. My goal is to take you through a total
transformation, whether you are a total beginner or you have already had a few girlfriends
here and there. Please dont forget what I write here might be sometimes a bit too much for
the first reading. So dont hesitate to check back often, and consult this book whenever you
have problems with women. It was made to be that way. So lets begin with
This book is only for people who are 18 or over!
Note: Everything in this book is just mere speculation, based on my real life experience and knowledge up to the
point of writing it. But I could be WRONG. Take what I say with a pinch of salt and not word for word. Im
pretty sure that even my opinion will change by time on many topics that I have written about. So take what you
want and leave the rest behind. Dont forget that YOU are the one responsible for your own actions and
behavior or any damage that comes from applying the techniques learnt from the book. What is written in here is
not to be taken as legal or personal advice. And lastly, dont forget that women are wonderful creatures. Use
this knowledge to establish rewarding relationships (which are good for both of the parties) with the opposite
sex. The book will help to understand their side, their problems and feelings better. Use it to make this world a
better place.
All About Women: The Encyclopedia Of Seduction Copyright 2005 Giueseppe Notte. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be
used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author. Cover photo copyright Melanie melanie.knightsgate.com.

PART ONE

1. Being a woman
1.1 If only I was a woman
Imagine that we are in a crappy Hollywoodian movie. Next morning you wake up, stand in
front of the mirror, and Oppps! You see the best tits, the best ass, and the cutest face that
you have ever seen. Like you became a bikini model or something. Put that cucumber down,
we will have plenty of time to play later A lifetime actually! You will soon stop thinking
like a man, and think like a woman.
There are some messages waiting for you on the answering machine so check them. Hey
Jude, its me Rob from Club Maracuya. Remember, we met yesterday. I thought errrrr if
it wasnt really a problem for you that we could actually errrrr meet? This is my
number. Please call me back! Will ya? how cute. Here comes the next one: Hi honey, its
Jack. Whats up with you sugar-pants? You were so rude yesterday I had to get your
number from your friend you dont mind? Call me back sweetheart! Bye! The third
message: Hey Jude, its John speaking. It was nice hanging out with you yesterday; too bad
you had to leave to feed your dog. I hope we will meet again. Ill call you back later. Ciao!
And this goes on till 10 or even more messages. You get bored pretty quickly. They are cute
guys, but you cant date all of them, right? Right.
So fast forward, we do some shopping, spend a few dollars on the trendiest clothes and
cosmetics, we visit the hairdressers, have our nails fixed, and arrive home at 7 pm. Lets get
ready for the party! You invite your girlfriends over. Time to choose what you will wear
But wait, dont I look fat in these jeans? Oh man, maybe I shouldnt have eaten that burger
for lunch today Oh, Im soooo fat (crying) No sweetie, your butt is nice your
girlfriends respond. So finally you leave the house, and go to your favorite club. Of course
you dont go on foot, but Jack, who is a really good FRIEND is already waiting for you with
his brand new car. He is such a nice guy. You really like him as a FRIEND. So we arrive at
the club and Jack invites you for a drink. How cute of him
You are standing next to the bar. The 5th guy today is coming over with Can I buy you a
drink? You accepted the first two offers then brushed off the rest quickly. Its still early at
night, and this is the 5th guy for Gods sake! How can they be so stupid to think that buying a
few dollars drink will increase their chance? You are already tired. Tired of these guys
Some of them are rich. Some of them are good-looking. But they are all coming with the same
lame shit! After all you see through them. You feel that they arent real But where is a real
man? Among those guys who keep touching your ass when you go across the dance floor? Or

those who stand around you and your girlfriends in a circle when dancing, and jump around
like little retards waiting for their chance? Not likely
A few more drinks later you start to feel better. Its the 10th guy who invited you for a drink
today; your butt must not be that bad, right? So here comes the 11th Oh, hi! Wow Look
at those bulging muscles You would feel soooo safe with him on your side. Lets just talk a
bit Wait! What is he doing? No, no kissing Yes, thats good! He is a good kisser No,
we are not having sex! Wait The condom! Oh This feels good Yes Do it more!
Next morning you wake up with a headache. The guy quickly throws you out with a lame
excuse. What an asshole! Stupid player You were tricked into this Its only because you
were drunk And your stupid girlfriends didnt protect you! What will they think about you
after this? Youre not a slut! You were just swept away by that guy It all happened so fast!
Fuck, what an asshole You still cant believe he threw you out like that!
Wait what happens in two months When your period doesnt arrive And you get the
result of your pregnancy test So, would you still like to be a hot woman? With all these
responsibilities, and guys hitting on you night and day? Doesnt it get boring after some time?
Maybe you should have chosen to be a less hot woman Then you could have cried all day
on the bed because of the size of your ass and eaten cookies To get no guys at all!
So your homework is to think a bit. Try to think with the head of a hot girl. Your goal is to
find the ideal guy. Thats what every woman wants. But its hard! You have a bunch of losers
hitting on you all day. In the clubs, cafes, at school even on the street. You could have sex
with all of them but for what? All of these guys are the same, you are bored with them. Where
is a real man? Just wait a little bit girl He is coming soon! (Hint: read on.)

1.2 What a girl wants, what a girl needs

Welcome back to reality. I hope I have made you think a bit in the previous section of the
book. Well leave cheesy Hollywoodian films for the rest of the book, I promise!
Just as men have a lot of traits in common (we like nice tits, asses, cute faces and big cars or
at least most of us) its the same with women: even if they seem so different at times, they
have a lot of similarities in their thinking, and especially in what they are looking for in
a man. I would like to give you an exercise. I know, I know You hate those but I promise
you will enjoy this one.

Call up one of your friendgirls. A girl you are not dating and would consider a friend. You
might have wanted to lay her before, or vica-versa but it doesnt matter now. Below there is a
list. Read it out like it was a description of her character. I guarantee that she will be
surprised. If you did this to a random girl you hadnt known, she would be like: Wow, how
do you know all this about me? Are you a soothsayer or something?
THE LIST:
1. Sometimes you are very emotional. At these moments you dont go after your
common sense, but its your feelings that guide you. Like when you are with a guy,
you wont think with your mind, you wont think rationally, but listen to your
emotions instead, listen to what your heart says about him.
2. On the other hand, you have a wild side as well. Sometimes you are into adventures,
challenges, doing wild things. Even you can surprise yourself by doing something you
would have never thought of.
3. In your relationships you usually stay passive and expect the man to lead. You want
a real man who can do it. On a first date or in a longer relationship, you dont like to
pick where to go. You like when the man chooses the cinema, the film and he arranges
everything even when he tells where to sit.
4. You like surprises. Sooner or later most of your relationships became boring as time
passed by. You got used to the same routines, same places, and the boring sex. You
want variety and changes. You want your man to surprise you sometimes, to keep
you on your toes, to feel the excitement of something new and unknown happening.
You want a man who is creative enough to surprise you.
5. Little details are important to you. You always take a look at a mans hand or shoes
first and see if they are clean. Sometimes romantic moments when you are holding
your boyfriends hand, hugging or kissing, or just receiving a little something is much
more important than big and expensive gifts. Getting a postcard or a phone call, and
knowing that your boyfriend, or someone you care for thought about you can make
you really happy. Such small details can mean more to you than a bunch of money or
an expensive car.
6. You are oftentimes critical about yourself. You stand in front of the mirror, keep
looking here and there, and notice if something is not right. You are looking for minor
mistakes or imperfections on your body. You hate to admit it, but sometimes you
might even enjoy this. At these periods you need a little validation. A good word about
your looks, or an inquiring glance from a man can increase self-esteem.
7. You have critical, harder periods. At these periods its not easy to tolerate you, and
sometimes you wish that everybody went away and left you alone. You might be
crude to people and guys even when you dont intend to.

(Note: women have periods. While such does not control men, womens menstruation
cycles play an important role in their lives. They sometimes get out of the bed on the
wrong side and are influenced too much by their emotions. A woman is more likely to
brush you off on a bad day or when she has her period.)
8. Deep inside you still believe in love at first sight. But it never really happened to
you. You have a picture of the ideal man in your head. Your prince charming who will
sweep you off your feet on his white horse, and save you from the castle. In each of
your new relationships, you fantasize about it being perfect, but something is never
right. Your boyfriends could come up to 60-70% of your picture of the ideal guy, but
something was always missing.
9. When dating a new guy, it usually takes 4-5 dates till you say that you are going out
with him. You like the man to initiate the first kiss. You usually test a man. You set
up hoops and expect him to jump through them. Sometimes you test men too much.
10. About sex: you like it when it just happens. You dont like to plan anything in
advance whether its the first time or the n-th. You like to be swept away by the
moment. In bed, you stay passive but take control when your wild side comes out.
You like to experiment and try out new things in sex.
So, what was the response? Was she stunned? How did you know all those about her? Dont
tell her you read these in a book, OK? Remember what the text says? Excitement and
surprises. Keep her on her toes. She will be guessing where you got this info. Joke with her.
Tell her you have a 5th sense. Or whatever. Just dont tell the truth. If you want to strengthen
the effect, you can even memorize the above. Its not that hard. You can try to act like a
prophet, and read out all those from cards, her palm or something else.
The above list is the description of an average girl who is in her early 20s, and likes going out
to clubs. Although it is a funny tool, its just for you to get to know women better. Read that
list many times and notice the keywords: a real man, staying passive, expecting him to lead,
emotions, excitement, variety, little details, being critical about herself and others, periods,
love at first sight, prince charming. Im going to talk about these in detail. For men, it would
be something like: hot girls, good sex, cute faces, big tits and sexy butts, rational thinking,
racing and competition, challenge, sports and cars. Compare the two and youll understand
why it seems so hard to understand women at times. Ready for more fun? Read on.

1.3 Understanding women

For most men women seem like irrational creatures and make no sense at all. Its of
course true if you view it from our viewpoint. But if you try to think with their heads for a
little, it will be like turning the lights on in a dark room. In order to achieve this, there are

three things to consider: the impact that society has on women, how their brains are wired,
and how evolution affects their instincts.
1, UNDERSTANDING SOCIETY CONDITIONING
A hundred years ago women who had sex or kids before or outside marriage were labeled
whores. Some girls still grow up with no sex before marriage being drilled into their heads
by the parents. A guy who lays a new woman everyday is considered a player. But even
today, after the sexual revolution, a girl doing the same will be called a slut. From early
childhood, girls are told to be careful with dating by their mothers and fathers.
I have once read a story about a 15-year-old girl. She gave a blowjob to her classmate, with
who she was in love. After the break-up, the guy went on telling the whole school about the
story, and everyone laughed at her. She had to change schools in the end.
Society restrictions remain with women further in their lives through friends, colleagues
and GUYS. Yes, youve read it well: guys. We are also influenced by the world and
expectations around us we are used to women holding sex back. We EXPECT them to
do so. If a girl gives herself to you on the first date, you wont be able to free yourself from
the thought that she has done this many times already. After all, if she is not afraid of being
despised by such an act, she must be a slut, doesnt she?
Even when she is alone, society programs are wired so deep into a girls brain that she
might not be able to have sex with a guy she wants but hardly knows. A girl I know was
brought up in a strict Christian manner. She tried to have sex with a guy she loved at the age
of 19. She ended up crying and being unable to continue just before the act. She had to get
married with someone she didnt love, then divorce in 2 years to get rid of the whole no sex
before marriage dogma planted deep into her brain by her mother through the years. It took
her another year and an understanding partner to be able to enjoy sex.
There is a term: chick logic. It is supposed to mean that women might act strange from a
mans rational viewpoint and seem totally illogical. Thats the definition; to understand it
we have to consider the reasons above. Chick logic with other words is looking for
approval from you and her company. She needs excuses to have sex. Here is an example of
it in action:
A woman will often go out to a club with her friends to have fun. She doesnt expect to
find there the One, but she enjoys the attention and validation that she is getting from guys
trying to pick her up. She will quickly get drunk by the free drinks that she receives. And
guess why her girlfriends are there? To protect her from leaving with a guy. They are not

10

really protecting her from the guys, but rather themselves and herself. If she had sex with
a guy, either the girlfriends or the girl would label herself a slut. Still, she secretly wants to
have sex! And which is even more tricky, if she leaves with a guy and he fucks her, she can
say that she lost control, and it was all because of the alcohol and because her girlfriends
didnt protect her well. This way she can have sex without having to deal with her own
and her girlfriends judgment.
And do you know why she needs the alcohol? She needs it to bypass her LOGICAL
BRAIN. There is a big tension inside her when she is about to have a one-night stand. Her
body is getting aroused and telling her to have sex but her logic kicks in and says: What are
you doing? You dont even know this guy! Your friends will think that you are a slut! He
might even be a stalker! And what if youll want something longer? This guy is so cute. You
dont want to seem like a slut! Of course when it happens she wont be thinking such clearly.
But she will feel a DEEP PROTEST in her guts to stop. This results in saying No, we are not
having sex today! while rubbing her pussy against your cock and moaning. If you can arouse
her enough, her sexual instincts bypass the logical brain and the gate opens up.
There is also a big common misconception: women dont enjoy sex. They do. Put this into
your head in capital letters: WOMEN ENJOY SEX JUST AS MUCH AS WE DO. Have
you ever heard a woman screaming in orgasm? Believe me, they enjoy it hundred times more
than us. Its just that to get rid of her chick logic and other factors Im going to mention, she
needs time. Dont you watch Sex and the City? You should, you can learn a lot from that
series. Or just buy a Cosmopolitan magazine and see how its filled with tips on making their
sexual lives better and having louder orgasms.
Apart from chick logic, there is another big difference imposed on us by society. The way we
are brought up. From the first years, girls long to be Cinderellas and saved by the prince
charming. They dream of romance every day. Disney films have added even more to this.
Guys on the other hand play with matchboxes, dream of becoming a football star or an
astronaut. We are astonished by sports, competition and challenge. What do kids talk
about? Whose matchbox is better and bigger, who does better in sports, whose favorite
football star is cooler etc. Later this becomes whose car is faster and bigger, whose girl is
hotter and who earns more.
Such kinds of competition incline women less. They play with Barbie dolls and dress like a
little princess or a bride. They talk about whose Barbie is cuter and role-play with their dolls.
During their teens they fantasize about their favorite pop stars or dream of falling in love.
Later this turns to be competition in the form of looks, bickering about their relationships and
each other, chatting about the latest trends in fashion. Instead of challenges, they are moved
by relationships, fashion, romance and drama. At least most of them are. While you would

11

rather watch sports or read a magazine about cars, your girl watches soaps and reads romance
novels instead.
You will never be able to truly escape this form of conditioning. Most women will always
want to hold your hand and watch the moon rise with the stars. Even if youd rather be having
sex or watching your favorite sports. So take this into account and dont blame them for it.
2, UNDERSTANDING THE WAY WOMEN ARE WIRED
Compare the way women are built to our body structure. They are ideally shorter, thinner and
weaker, with other words: more fragile. The most important genitals are inside their bodies:
the vagina, the womb etc. We could say that while men are donors (givers), women are
acceptors (receivers). During an intercourse, they need to open up not just physically, but
emotionally as well.
Just like nature has its cycles in the form of changing seasons, girls have theirs with their
monthly period. Because of this and all the above, they tend to focus more on the inside
and listen to their emotions. Women are living somewhat in harmony with their emotions.
Much more than we do. A girl will often make decisions by her feelings and not her
rational mind. Thats why they seem so illogical at times.
Society expectations also appear in the form of looks. Women are required to look like
supermodels thats what is planted into their minds by the media. Because of being more
sensitive emotionally, they need constant validation from parents, friends, and her
boyfriend. If she looks into a mirror, she will instantly think: Hasnt my butt got bigger?
Dont I look fat in these pants? Is my cleavage tight enough? No wonder its women, who
have most of the plastic surgeries.
Its easy for a girl to get carried away in the ocean of her emotions. You forget to bring
her a flower on your anniversary and she bursts out in tears thinking: He doesnt love me
anymore. Is it another woman? Have I got fat? Do I look bad? Etc. Its like jumping on a
roller coaster and we dont know where its going to stop. Women can easily make a fuss
out of the smallest things and tend to project matters they dont like to their looks. You raise
your voice and she cries all day thinking you dont love her.
Furthermore, girls can be very indecisive at times. Which clothe to choose, where to go,
which film to see, whether to leave her previous boyfriend or not they get lost among the
waves of emotions quickly. As a result, she is expecting the Man (who is stronger, resolute
and confident) to free her from the responsibility, to make the decision himself and lead
her. You will read much more about this in the next part of the book.

12

Lets talk more about sex. Sex for women is a much bigger decision than it is for men.
They are giving themselves to you not just physically. To enjoy sex, a girl needs to open up
emotionally and has to be there mentally as well. Certain thoughts will always come up in a
womans mind and to relax and enjoy sex, she has to bypass them. These are social
conditioning, pregnancy, your not loving her, leaving her after the intercourse or being a
stalker.
Most girls need to feel totally safe and comfortable in your company before they can free
themselves from such worries. But if they do, they can experience bigger orgasms than most
men. Although the above makes our life harder a little bit, realize that it also means you can
overcome society restrictions quicker. If a woman feels you truly match and she is
comfortable in your company, she will never hold sex back.
Although each and every lady is different, they have many traits in common. Their needs
change as they grow old. Young girls are less experienced and they are usually looking for an
older man. In their early 20s, many women are moved by overwhelming emotions,
excitement, adventure and the feeling of danger. No wonder Indiana Jones type adventurers
or bad boys, skaters and those living a dangerous lifestyle attract more chicks. Just as young
people do, they are seeking their identity and happiness. Part of this is getting short-term
satisfaction from alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and the adrenaline, which a dangerous guy can
bring into their lives.
As they grow older, their biological clock starts ticking and they realize if they want
children, they have to act till their mid-30s. Thus, they start looking for a man who can
provide for them and with who they can create a family. Some girls get married in their midor late-20s. They quickly get bored with marriage and the lack of sex. Women develop their
sexuality with time and their sexual drive increases. Many of them are willing to cheat
their husbands if a powerful guy comes.
The above are rough generalizations. Different kinds of girls respond to different kinds of
male characteristics and personality types. You dont have to become a bad boy or live a
dangerous lifestyle to attract women. First, there are common Manly traits to which most
girls will respond. Second, you will decide which kind of women suits your personality
the best, and act like that. If you are an artist, you wont have success with girls of similar
interest by becoming a bad boy and changing your personality in vain. But by developing
Manly traits in yourself and getting experience, you will be able to attract the kind of women
you want. I am going to talk more about this later in the book.

13

3, EVOLUTION AND INSTINCTS

Im sure youve watched the Discovery Channel once or twice. In the animal kingdom,
there is a concept. In a flock, there will be many females, but only one male, who sexes all of
them. That is the alphamale. If another male wants to have sex with his girls, he has to
challenge him, which results in a fight. Either the challenging male wins and takes the harem
or the other male remains in his position. Females are designed to give birth to one child at a
time. A male can spread his semen and have many. This process guarantees that the children
inherit the most powerful genes in the flock, and there is also somebody to protect them.
How does this look projected to us, humans? In the Stone Age, women wanted a man to be
powerful enough to hunt down the pray and protect the family and the group from danger.
Since then, values have changed. Women are looking for somebody to bring home money,
take care of the kids and provide for the whole family. Safety comes in the form of cash.
Still, many girls are turned on by strong men. Why is this?
Its because of the basic instincts wired into us by evolution. Even though society changes,
our guts stay with us. Basic society values like money come in the form of thoughts. A girl
thinks, Im getting older, I need a man to settle down with. She is even willing to make a
compromise and marry a less attractive male just to come up to society expectations. On the
other hand, instincts come in the form of emotions. When she is with a strong male, and he
puts his powerful arms around her, she feels a sudden safety. She is not going to explain it to
herself; its just good to be with him.
Can you imagine that a girl, who is about to get married, goes out with her girlfriends and
ends up in bed with a stranger, who fucks her without a condom? I dont want to
disillusionate you, but it has happened many times already. I have seen players pull this off.
And whats best, you cant even blame the poor girl for it. Its in her guts. She is about to get
married with a guy who will provide for her. Then a powerful Man comes, and triggers so
deep emotions in her, that she cant hold herself back. Her instincts take her body over. She
loses control. Its something she has not experienced in a while or even never before.
What do we learn from this? A girl meets two kinds of guys in her life: a provider and a real
Man. She will marry the provider and have sex with the real Man. The real Man creates so
powerful emotions in her with his presence that she is ready to overcome society restrictions
with him. And thats what she is secretly longing for. Her prince charming appearing in
the form of a Man. She is waiting for that moment to come through her entire life.
Regarding this, I have to tell you that WOMEN TEST MEN occasionally. They will
consciously create certain situations, and see how you react. A woman will always test how

14

far she can go with you and push to the limits. These tests are used to sort out the males
who are not powerful enough, and to find the real one. If you fall for it, you lose your
chance. But if you act like a real Man, she will be instantly attracted to you and wont
care so much about your looks as long as you are neat and well groomed.
There are many tests that women use. Mostly to see if you act consistently with your frame
of a Man. Like you approach a girl in a club, and she turns her back to you. If you gently but
confidently turn her towards yourself, she will see that you are not another average Joe and
talk to you. Some women test a lot; some of them dont test at all. It mostly depends on their
personality, their experience and the number of men they have dealt with. The key to passing
these tests is to do what you want and dont say what you think she wants to hear. Show
that you have your own opinion, you have your own desires, and you are not afraid to act on
them. With experience, you will learn to recognize these tests and pass them by reacting
consistently.
In conclusion, keep three things in mind:
1, Never judge women by their words, judge them by their actions. If a girl says We are
not having sex today! while rubbing her pussy to your cock and moaning, dont listen to her.
2, Women speak a different language. Their language is emotions and not just mere
words. When talking to them, use this knowledge to have a bigger effect. If you dont
understand them at times, attribute it to their swirling emotions or just ask the girl: How do
you feel? They keyword is FEEL.
3, Women come with powerful instincts packed inside. To help them overcome society
restrictions try to bring out those with your behavior and act like a real Man.
In the next part of the book, I am going to broaden your horizon and tell how to be the Man.

15

PART TWO

2. How to be the Man

2.1 What a real Man is like, what it means to lead
I have been talking a lot about being a Man in the previous part of the book. But what do I
mean by that? This is the most difficult part to understand. Once you really get it down, you
will have no problems with women.
If you ask them, 999 out of 1000 women will say that they are waiting for the Man. Still,
the concept itself is very vague. A girl will feel when she is with a Man. That doesnt
help you that much, does it? In order to understand it from our viewpoint we will look at
genetics again. As I said in chapter 1.3, women are acceptors while men are donors. An
acceptor can choose whether to accept what the donor gives or not. Hot girls are spoilt by the
numerous offers they get unconditionally and reject them flatly.
They love to remind us that its them who choose. But this is not ALWAYS the case. A hot
woman will meet a bunch of average Joes every day. Of course she could select any of
them if she wanted. But what she really craves for is a real Man. And here is the twist: that
Man is not a real Man for her alone, but for all the other women as well. He has qualities to
which every girl will respond. Its wired inside them. He is now the one in the position of
power. So in the end, she will have to do the dirty job and seduce you. Women dont only
spend hours in front of the mirror to be satisfied with their looks, but also to ensure that when
a real Man comes, he notices them.
And this is how an ideal seduction looks like. The man CHOOSES first. He expresses his
interest in the woman with his attention. If he is POWERFUL enough the woman will like
her. But she will also know that he has CHOICES so she will try to seduce him, and tame the
man to stay with her. So what do I mean by powerful? Looks, money, fame, or influence?
None of them. Those are just outer qualities, which can trick the woman into feeling that you
are powerful. But true power comes from the inside. A real man will make her feel like a
woman just with his presence. Even if he is naked without his money, car or clothes. It
radiates from within.
Back to evolution, the most important thing to show your woman is that she can feel safe with
you. The Man has to be POWERFUL enough to LEAD her. But if you are in a restaurant
and she is the one who has to choose the table where you sit, then has to order the food while
hearing you say: You are soooo beautiful. I dont deserve such a beauty! What will she
think? Is this man capable of protecting her? Does she feel safe with him? No. So the #1
quality a Man has is the ability to lead. Here are the other two as well:

16

1, A Man knows how to lead and he is confident in his role

2, A Man always has options, self-respect and is never needy
3, A Man knows how to treat her
Lets look at the first again. A Man knows how to lead and he is confident in his role. You
know how hard it is to be the captain of a ship? You are constantly forced to bring decisions
and take responsibilities. A slight sign of uncertainty is enough to loose the faith of your
whole crew and probably the ship as well. How could 40 people follow their captain if he
shows signs of hesitation and uncertainty? If you were in the crew, would you risk your life
for such a captain? Not likely. Would you do it for a confident and resolute one, who is
always certain, even if he makes mistakes at times? Yes.
Its almost the same with women. There are 2 people in a boat: you and her. You are the
captain. She expects you to lead. At the first signs of uncertainty she will jump out of
your boat and choose another one. You will constantly have to be on your toe while
bringing decisions. No one cares if its a good or bad one; but its you who will take the
responsibility in the end. Young guys cant take responsibilities. To be a Man you have to
learn that first. Each and every decision you bring will have a consequence. You can
postpone making it but sooner or later you will have to decide. And it might be late by then.
I havent talked enough about confidence yet. Hesitation is not a Manly trait. A Man knows
what he WANTS and ISNT AFRAID to TAKE IT. When you make decisions BE SURE
OF YOURSELF. Its the part of LEADING and taking RESPONSIBILITIES. You choose the
restaurant where you will go with your date. You choose the table where you sit. The food
might be bad and the people at the nearby table might be very annoying but who cares? If you
are confident my friend, you can get away with almost ANYTHING. Yes, ANYTHING.
Read that sentence again.
They did an experiment. There was a photocopy machine in a school with always a lot of
people in queue, waiting for their turns during breaks. A guy walked up to the machine with a
banana in his hand. He stood at the beginning of the line, and said: I need to copy these
papers right now, so I can eat my banana till the end of the break. He did it totally casually
and confidently, like its a normal everyday thing to stand before the queue. But what came
next? Nothing happened. He stood before the line, did what he wanted and went to eat his
banana. And no one complained! There was no fight, no loud words. This case is just one of
the many, which show you can get away with ANY BULLSHIT as long as you are consistent
with it, and you act confident enough in your role.
There is difference between real and fake-confidence however. A confident person is calm
and cool, like a sniper waiting for his turn in the bushes. When such a person walks into a

17

room, everyone is looking at him. And not because he walks so stiff that they are laughing at
it! That would be a fakely confident person. Someone, who is either annoying or funny
because of the visible overcompensation of his insecurities. Typical signs are trying to get
attention by being loud, picking on somebody either verbally or physically to prove how
cool he is, or being angular, walking like a robot with a serious expression on the face
instead of smiling.
But if you dont have it yet, how to fake confidence when faked confidence is not good? Isnt
this a paradox? Not really. With experience, you will be able to LOOSEN UP in your
ROLE, and seem very casual from the outside. A beginner stand-up comedian is very
nervous when he stands on the stage for the first time. He has butterflies in his stomach. A
famous stand-up comedian will stand there like nothing happened. No one notices that what
he has is kind of a fake confidence. He still has butterflies in his stomach, but he has learnt to
deal with the feeling and to hide it.
And that, my friend, comes with EXPERIENCE. If you have never kissed a woman dont
expect yourself to be kissing 10 women a day, confidently, tomorrow. This book is not a
magic bullet. You will have to practice. You will have to experiment. You will have to put
in the time yourself. I cant do that for you. But when you do will come the EXPERIENCE.
So back to our list, the second point is: A Man always has options, self-respect and is never
needy. Yes. What do I mean by having OPTIONS? Initially, the woman is in the position of
power. She is the one who chooses. And she knows this really well. When you approach her,
she can reject you. When its time for kissing, she can say no. When you want to have sex,
she can refuse it. Thats all true. But how do we make sure that she doesnt have a choice?
Ha! By being a Man. She will see that you are one of the few selected instantly, and know
this is her one and only chance to meet somebody like you. She knows you can move on and
get another woman whenever you want.
By the way, I tricked you. A Man, who is capable of leading well, wont leave her any time
to think. He will appear out of the blue and talk to her. He will kiss her when the right
moment comes without asking anything. She wont have a choice. At least she will feel like
that. And thats what she has wanted after all. To be swept away by the moment, with no
other choice or time to think about society restrictions.
Lets talk a bit about SELF-RESPECT. People who think they are worth nothing or want to
be treated like shit WILL BE treated like shit. How do you expect anyone to respect you if
you dont even respect yourself? Be able to stand up for yourself whether you are dealing
with women or men. How you see and what you think of yourself influences your behavior
and people will respond to you accordingly. Being depressed, having negative thoughts will

18

get you nowhere. Your thoughts form your personality. Those who have wrong thoughts
and see everything in gray will attract such things into their lives. Just like people who learn
to control their thoughts and strengthen themselves with positive affirmations become
successful.
I dont deserve this. Im such a loser. Im worth nothing. My life is a waste. Nothing works
for me. Ill never get any girls. eliminate those destructive beliefs for good. Im a real
Man. I know what I want and I get it. I have goals in my life and I am motivated to reach
them. Im successful with women and successful in everything else. I enjoy the smallest
achievements and stay proud on my road whatever life should bring. Im open to new
experiences and ideas, learning from my faults and able to change myself in a good
direction. thats what you should say to yourself every day.
As I mentioned, another tool of your Swiss knife is the LACK OF NEEDINESS. You dont
need her. But how dont you need her when she is so beautiful? And youve never had such a
beautiful creature even talk to you Stop now before your legs start shaking! Will you?
Lesson #1: NEVER EVER put a woman on a pedestal. Have your SELF-RESPECT and
dont cling on her like a baby. Never put her above you. There are so many guys putting her
there that its not a challenge for her anymore. We will talk more about this in the next
chapter.
In the ancient times, the most successful cavemen, the Men, have always had OPTIONS.
They could have chosen from literally any of the women they wanted. Did they put those
women on a pedestal? No. They treated them like normal people. People, who look good and
might be capable of giving birth to their powerful children. Think a bit. If you were Brad Pitt
and you could have all the women you wanted, would you put any of them above you?
No way! And dont laugh: when a real Man comes, for the girl it will be like Brad Pitt
appearing.
Be careful though. Girls know whats up. Somebody with options will never show off or
brag about it. He wont say: Oh, I have 3 girls, Vanessa, Mary and Janice. Its so hard to
choose between them. Its not easy being a player these days. He will act like a Man instead.
Like somebody, who is willing to walk away and goes his own way without trying to come
up to anyones expectations. You dont need to have 8 girlfriends to get the attitude Im
talking about. Even if you had to move to another planet without knowing anyone, it should
be radiating from your personality, confidence and behavior.
A hot girl always has many men on the go. There are at least 10 numbers she can call to have
an army of guys flocking in front of her house immediately. Just like hot guys, who keep
many girlfriends at the same time. Usually the girls even know about each other, but the guy

19

is so cool that they dont care. Of course you dont have to keep a harem if its not to your
taste. Initially, one girl will be more than enough to handle. But still have a few phone
numbers in your pocket. Dont stop seeing other women because of dating a hot girl.
Even if you kissed or had sex, that doesnt mean you are already in a relationship and she is
deeply in love with you. If you feel like it, call up some of those numbers and go out to have
fun. See? Its again about having OPTIONS.
The third thing I talked about is: A Man knows how to treat her. A Man is a gentleman. He
will be attentive, open doors for women, pull out chairs and know how to care for her. Of
course he does all of this in a confident way. Girls mostly encounter two types of guys: one
of them is the average champ, who she is bored to death with, who will put her on a
pedestal, fulfill each and every of her wishes and so on. The other is the typical jerk that acts
Manly at times but doesnt know how to treat her. Usually she will stay with the jerk instead
of the average fool but wont be satisfied deep inside.
But a real Man knows HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN. And thats not just about confidence.
Never forget that women are not objects or devices of experimentation. They are
wonderful human beings and everyday people, just like you. So treat them equally. They have
bad days and good days. They pee and shit. And they especially like good words and little
surprises. Remember chapter 1.2? Sometimes being thoughtful or giving a little present will
mean much more to a woman than a hundred dollars.
Hot girls are self-validation junkies. They crave for attention and appreciation. If you give
her too much like an average Joe would, she will be bored and leave you quickly. But if you
give her too little, she will be seeking it from other guys in the end. The best strategy is to
REWARD her with validation. Its a powerful tool. This will be a crude comparison, but
think dog training. When the dog does something bad, he is scolded. But when he does
something to the liking of his owner, he is rewarded with a bone. Its the same with women.
Reward her when she does something that you like. You dont have to buy presents, kind
words like I was thinking about you, remembered your beautiful smile, and it made me
happy! are usually more than enough.
On the contrary, never give in to wacky wishes of girls. Its easy to fall from one extremity
to the other. If she wants to go shopping while you are watching your favorite sports
program, tell her to wait or go alone. Then another time when she doesnt expect it say that
you decided to skip watching your favorite sports today, and you will take her out instead.
The key is in the attitude. In the first case she is being insistent. In the second, you are
rewarding her for being a good girl. You are the Man and its your decision. You are
CONSISTENT with your MANLY FRAME while being KIND and CARING at the
same time. She will be happy because of those.

20

By the way, why dont you get bored when playing sports? Because of competition and
CHALLENGE. Its the same with girls. Keep them on their toes. Be a CHALLANGE.
Women love that. Its part of being a Man and having OPTIONS. Show her that you are in
control. Refuse what she wants today; give it to her tomorrow when she is not expecting
it. Push her away, then pull her back. This creates tension and excitement. Compliment
her when you feel like it, but never overdo it. If you wake up every morning and tell her how
beautiful she is, it will get boring quickly. But if you tell her randomly, when she doesnt
expect it, it makes her happy.
So compliment women, give them kind words, show your girl that you care for her and think
about her. Surprise her sometimes, but NEVER OVERDO ANY OF THESE. They are
wonderful tools as long as they keep their value. If a product goes into mass-production, it
loses its luxury worth in the market and becomes commercial. If there was an Eiffel-tower
in every city, would it be a curiosity? No. So treat the above tools the same way. Think twice
before doing them but make sure you still use them AT TIMES.
Lastly, I give you another exercise. Some of the ideas above might seem strange or
unfounded. I want you to realize their power on your own. Read this chapter again a few more
times and think about it. Keywords are confidence, leading, making her feel safe, taking
responsibilities, not being needy, having self-respect, knowing how to be a gentleman and
how to treat women. When you feel like you have these concepts down in your head, ask a
girl you know on how she would define a real man. If you can collect your thoughts and tell
her about the topics behind the keywords I just mentioned, she will be astonished.

2.2 Typical errors men make and how to avoid them

Im sure you have had a date with a girl, which didnt go the way you expected. It happens to
everyone. Just realize that its not a matter of some invisible power thats around you in the
pink cloud. How women respond to you depends on your personality and Manliness.
There are common errors men tend to make when going out with a woman. Small details
count a lot in the picture. A little bit of inconsistence with your frame of a Man and you lose
her. This is what Ill talk about in this chapter.
The biggest mistake you can make is to treat a woman like she is different. Both if you put
her on a pedestal or look down on her, and treat her bad. Most guys on seeing an attractive
woman will be like: OMG, she is soooo hot and beautiful, I dont really deserve such a
girl Why? Why wouldnt you deserve her? Because she is hot? Is she above you in any
way? No. Is she more than you? No. She is a human being, just like you and I. Women
expect you to be a bit above them. They like when they can look up to a man, and not

21

only because you are taller. Have qualities for which she can admire you. The most important
is your personality and the ability to lead her in the right direction.
Flowers and presents. They are wonderful tools for keeping a relationship and showing a
woman how important she is for you but not for seducing her. Its a wrong misconception
that you will lay her by buying flowers or gifts. A Man would reward her with that. But
why should she be rewarded when you dont even know her? When you go out with a girl,
she is usually a complete stranger to you. Do you buy strangers flowers? No. Do you send
strangers gifts? No. Its okay to do so when you are in love and she is in love with you too.
But please, forget those tools for the first few weeks at least. Most guys who try to pick her
up will come with the flowers or chocolate bonbons. She just laughs at such lame attempts.
Separate yourself from the crowd. Be different. A Man doesnt need to stand in line. He
knows what he wants, and he knows how to take it.
Complimenting. Its easy to go the wrong way with it. A compliment here or there is fine,
but avoid overdoing them. They get boring quickly. How you compliment her matters a lot:
Oh, you look soooo beautiful! This is lame. You are putting her on a pedestal. You praise
her looks she has heard this a thousand times already. Her looks are genetics. She cant
influence that. Another bad one: Nice ass! Macho style compliment. This is again a stupid
way to do it. Compliment your buddys girl to your buddy like that, but not the girl you are
seeing. If she is hot, she likes to be complimented because of her personality, style or general
outlook. No one does that. She will be flattered by your noticing it. Tell her she has a
beautiful smile, and that you like when she smiles. Tell her she has nice earrings and that you
like her taste. Tell her that you like her perfume, and its one of your favorites.
Compliments should always be short, to the point, and not complicated. Your eyes look
like a hundred shining stars in the moonlight let those be used by poets. Just say: Your
eyes are beautiful. I like looking at them. The way you speak is very important. Be calm,
relaxed and not overly excited when complimenting her. Talk slowly, look into her eyes and
smile. Charm her like a real Man. Deliver compliments on a slow, soothing, seductive voice.
Dont act like Romeo and overdo the seductive part because it will sound stupid. Be casually
confident in your role.
Money. Money is a sign of power. If a guy earns a lot, he must be very successful in life. It
also provides safety in the form of financial stability. Then again, a real Man wont need
much cash to seduce a girl. She will feel safe with him, and there will be no need for the
extra financial support. Never waste your money on women or give useless presents. Its
okay to invite her to the movies or pay on the first date. But if you do, expect her to pay on
the second. If she doesnt offer it, tell her to give her part. Dont force the girl to pay the
whole bill though; a Man is always a gentleman.

22

If you pay on the first date and she doesnt offer to pay at least her part on the second, thats a
sign that you might have found a golddiger chick. Avoid those. Spend money on a woman
when you want, and not when she demands it. If she is begging you to buy her a new cloth
or something, refuse it firmly. But if you are in a relationship, and you would like to see her in
sexy lingerie, buy one as a present. Do you see the difference between the two frames? The
latter is your decision and not something she ordered.
A remark for rich guys: its okay to spend money on your level on a girl. If you eat at the
trendiest, most expensive restaurant every day and you can afford it, dont bring her to some
cheap place to save money on her. Bring her into your reality. If you drive a Ferrari, dont go
to your date by bus. But dont boast about how cool your are either. And lastly, dont buy
her off. If she becomes demanding and asks for too much in your reality, refuse it.
The same stands for guys who are not so wealthy. Spend money on your level on the girl. If
you cant afford to go to a trendy restaurant yourself, dont save money just to take a woman
there. Choose a cheap but romantic place instead where the food is good. Or go for no-cost
dates like a romantic walk in the park. Never try to hide your financial situation. If you
have a cheap car, dont rent an expensive one to take a woman on a date. She would sooner or
later find out about your financial problems. Dont forget: Women will love you because
you are a Man, and NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR MONEY.
Going physical. Failing to touch her, to initiate kissing or sex is a big problem. It is the man,
who always has to make the first move. The girl will give signs that she is ready; you have
to read them and advance accordingly. If you force going physical too early, she will freak
out and run away. If you do it too late, she will think that you are afraid to do so. Its also
necessary to build the foundations. She wont be comfortable kissing you if you have never
touched her before. Do it occasionally on the arms, shoulders, or hands in a casual way. Its a
normal, everyday thing to do. There is no need to fall to the other extremity and become a
touchy-feely guy though. And dont forget, you always have to be the one initiating; she
wont do it for you. When you see that she is ready, go in for the kiss and so on.
No sense of humor. In most surveys about the ideal guy of women, they come up with humor
as one of the most important qualities for a man to have. Never be too serious on your dates.
Enjoy the time together, laugh at each others jokes and when a situation arises for something
funny, tell her. You are not expected to joke like a stand-up comedian would, just be
yourself. Everyone has a little sense of humor and thats more than enough. If she is
attracted to you, she will laugh at even your lamest high school jokes and think you are a
funny guy. So dont hold it back and dont keep a straight face for the whole time. Self-irony
is also a good trait to have. Be able to laugh on yourself, not just on other people. And lastly,

23

smile. You can never do that enough. Women love a Man who smiles a lot it makes both
you and the girl feel good.
Friends zone. Probably the most dreaded thing in your interactions with women is hearing:
Lets just be friends, OK? You dont want them as friends. Im sure you have already heard
that line and have a few girl friends. You might have even used it on girls who didnt come
up to your standards. Well, those words mean that you fucked something up. Concretely,
you were a pussy, and not a Man. Usually, you either get together with a woman or she
brushes you off sooner or later. But in this case, you acted like a typical nice guy. You
dont want that, right? So stop acting like you did to get there. Possible reasons are in this
chapter.
Being a mommas boy. Girls sense it instantly and leave you. If you are over 25 and still
living with your parents, maybe you should think a bit. Looking for decisions from your
mother, running to her skirt when something goes bad, not being able to separate from
your parents or take responsibility. Asking your mothers advice on everything, having
no goals on your own. Being unable to provide for yourself, lacking independence. Are
these the qualities of a Man? How could somebody like that provide for anybody else, when
he cant do it for himself? Have a little bit of self-criticism, and if you recognize any of these
traits in your personality, change them for good.
Being macho instead of Man. Yep. Its a common misconception that women want machos.
No, they want a Man. A macho is loud, bold and aggressive instead of being confident. He is
trying to hide his insecurities with such behavior. Never mix the two. A Man is by no means
aggressive. He is calm and cool. Machos are sometimes full of themselves. A Man knows his
limits and never boasts about himself. He goes around knowing that his environment will look
up on him, and he doesnt need to look for their approval. Even if machos get women its
because of the jerk side of them. You dont need that to get the hottest girls. Keep this in
mind, and when you experiment with leading and becoming a Man, avoid the macho
trap. If you were shy, dont overcompensate by becoming arrogant and aggressive. Advance
slowly, confidence and leading will come with practice.

2.3 Dressing, working out, taking care of yourself

I hope I dont need to stress how important it is to be well groomed, neat and look your best
when meeting girls. They spend hours in front of the mirror to look good; we can at least be
hygienic. Shave every day, wash your hair, use a deodorant, wash your cock this is common
knowledge. Cut your nails on your hands and legs; clean the dirt under them. Use feetantiperspirants if they smell bad. Clean your shoes often, and always iron your clothes.

24

Mind the color of your socks and dont mix them. Dress in a new shirt and underwear every
day.
Such small details are very important for women. When making a first impression, they will
judge you based on this. Even if you dont consider yourself good looking, there are
certain steps you can take to LOOK YOUR BEST. You dont have to seem like you have
come off some fashion magazine, but a Man knows how to dress and how to look fine. Just by
that he leaves a good impression on people. If you look like a nerd, youre making your own
life harder. So take my advice:
1, Go to the hairdressers. I suggest visiting the best saloon in your city. Dont spare money
on your looks. Ask the hairdresser what hairstyle he/she thinks would be the best for your face
and character. Just by getting a stylish and cool hair cut you can change your image a lot.
If long hair goes well with your face, wear it that way (but keep it clean!). If shorter or totally
bald is better, use that look. Dont be afraid to ask your hairdresser, he is there to help. If you
dont want to spend that much money, go to the best saloon once, show your hair-cut to your
favorite hairdresser and have him/her cut it like that afterwards.
2, Glasses. They usually dont look good. Drop them and wear contact lenses instead.
There are very few people who look good with glasses. Even when you wear them, try to find
one that suits your heads shape. Sunglasses can make you look cool in the summer, just
choose them wisely. You can ask a girl in the shop to help you find a good one.
3, Shaving. Shave your face or trim your beard. If you have too much hair on your body
cut it to make it look good. It doesnt matter whether you keep your pubic hair or shave it,
but in the first case, make sure that its well trimmed and looks like something that is kept
neat. If you wear sleeveless T-shirts, shave your armpits.
4, Dressing. This is one of the most important things about your looks. Go to the trendiest
club in your city and take a look at how guys dress. If you think it could suit your image, look
at what models wear. Go to the nearest shopping center with one of your friendgirls (or
ask the shop assistant if you have to go alone) and buy some new stylish clothes. Read
fashion or mens magazines. Always be in fashion. Find a style which suits your
personality, and which is trendy at the same time.
5, Working out. Do some sports. If you are fat, loose weight. I recommend diets, which
separate protein from carbs, but talk to your dietitian before doing anything crazy. I also
advocate becoming a vegetarian because its good for health and balancing yourself. But
before you do anything, always ask some advice from the experts or consult the proper books!

25

If you are slim put on some muscle. Its a good idea to look buffed up a little. You dont
have to be another Swarzenegger, but take good care of your body. If you dont want to work
out, go to a martial arts course or take up dancing. Both teach well how to be a Man.
6, Take care of yourself. Both inside and outside. If you have acnes or some skin disease get
the proper treatment. You have to fix such small nuances to be comfortable in your own
body. Thats key. For the inside, give yourself time to relax and try to live a less stressed out
life. Try some kind of meditation or yoga to balance yourself and become focused. Dont
listen to the macho crap and think that such things are for women only. If you have a war
going on inside, you wont look calm and confident on the outside. Be comfortable in your
own body.

2.4 Manly body language and voice tone

My name is Bond. James Bond. Dont laugh: even if they are just fiction, you can learn a lot
from James Bond movies. He is a true Man. Lets play a little bit. Imagine that you got the
role of James Bond in the upcoming movie. How would you prepare yourself for it? You
would probably watch most of the films out there and practice in front of a mirror to make
your part fit the original character perfectly.
Now, I dont ask you to watch all the James Bond films. But I ask you to watch a few, and
instead of being caught by the spectacular action parts, pay attention to the main character.
Observe how he walks, how he talks, his voice tone, and how he interacts with women.
What he says is not that important, but how he says it you can learn a lot from that. He is
always confident, calm and casual. He knows how to lead and he knows that women will
always follow him, without doubt. So I suggest you go to your favorite videotheque now and
rent a few James Bond films if you havent done it yet.
Here is a list of the common signs of confident, Manly body language. Use it to calibrate
yours:
1, Arms. Folding your arms is a closed position. It means that you are hiding something, you
are not comfortable, you dont want to talk or you dont like what the other person is saying.
A confident man is always comfortable and doesnt have to hide anything. He usually has
his arms by his side or partly in his pockets.
2, Legs. Closing your legs, crossing them or putting them together might show insecurity.
Have them wider apart. Of course a 1,5 meter straddle will be ridiculous. Stand in a
comfortable way.

26

3, Eyes. Most of the time you should look the other person in the eyes. Dont stare at her
awkwardly, just catch a glance here or there and maintain eye contact when you can. Never
stare at the ground when talking to somebody either. You are not a kid who got bad grades in
school and who is afraid to talk to daddy. Look away sideways, but never down. Confidence
should be radiating from your glance.
4, Posture. Stand erect and dont bow your back. And since I suspect no one pushed a post up
your ass, dont stand firmly in a stiff way. You can stand loose without arching your back,
right? Right.
5, Smiling. Its always a good idea to smile. It disarms people. Its scientifically proven that
smiling will not only give good feelings to the smilee, but to the smiler as well. Yes, thats
you. So dont be afraid to do it. You shouldnt always have a big grin on your face, but when
talking to women or approaching a girl, make sure to smile a lot. It gives a good impression
and even helps her loosen up while talking to you. She wont be afraid like she would if
you approached with a firm look on your face. So remember what I said, and drop the macho
thing, OK?
A confident person is usually in a relaxed and comfortable state. He avoids making fast
moves. He doesnt play with his fingers or shake his legs nervously. Every move you make
and every muscle you move should be the result of a conscious decision, and not caused by
anxiety. Walk slowly but casually. Dont walk like a robot please. Be calm and relaxed. You
are not in a hurry. You dont have to run. You are not being chased. Move at your own pace.
And dont be afraid to take up some space with your moves. Of course you dont want to walk
with your hands spread 2 meters apart, but show that you can fulfill space around you.
A selfish person will take all the space he can, a confident one takes as much as he needs,
but doesnt ask permission for it. Always be comfortable in your own skin. If you feel good
in a certain position it will be visible to others as well. And remember, this is just for
practicing. Dont be stupid, and dont think that the more you exaggerate the above, the
Manlier you will look.
One more thing I want to talk about is voice tone. Some guys might have problems with their
voice. If you speak high like a girl, its not very Manly. A Man has a low, calm, soothing
seductive voice. It should come from the chest/abdomen area and not from your throat.
You can practice by yourself: repeat saying a compliment like You have a beautiful smile, I
like it. Keep doing it. Start normally then lower your voice a bit. Slow down a little. Practice
till it sounds like James Bond saying: My name is Bond. James Bond. If you have a
microphone its a good idea to record your tries and listen to them later. If you have the
patience and the time, I suggest you experiment with your voice a few minutes every day for a

27

week or more. Then each day after a little bit of practicing, listen it back to hear what you
have to improve. Onto the next step Mr. Bond.

2.5 First put things together inside, then everything will be fine on the outside
This is the most important of all. I have met many guys from Internet forums who learn how
to pick up women. They spend their time memorizing techniques, stories and routines to
become better and pick up hotter girls this way. In the end most of them ends up burnt-out,
and still without a life. Look, if you want to have success with women, you have to put
your life under control first. If you are a nerd and you dont have hobbies apart from sitting
in front of the computer and watching porn, get a life first as crude as it sounds.
A Man is PASSIONATE. He has goals and dreams in his life, and he is DETERMINED to
REACH WHAT HE WANTS. Women love listening to a man who talks passionately about
his hobbies, job or whatever. She wants to share your dreams and be a part of your wonderful
world. If you dont have a life outside the club where you picked her up, how could she be the
part of something that doesnt exist? She cant.
There are hobbies particularly good to experience what being a Man means. Martial arts,
dancing or anything done in competition fits into this category. Even extreme sports, but
thats not really good for the health. You decide anyway. I will bring my example here. I went
to a Salsa dancing course. Since then, Ive become a fanatic. When you dance you learn to let
go of everyday stress and feel totally free. Its also one of the best ways to learn indirect
communication with females. In Salsa (and other dances which involve a couple) you are
forced to lead. The woman wont know whats coming next; it will always be a surprise for
her.
Imagine that you stand in the dancing arena, make eye-contact with a girl, walk up to her
confidently, ask for a dance, then grab her hand without waiting for the reply, lead her to the
dance floor and start dancing together. In such situations you will FEEL what its like to be a
Man. The sexy look in the girls eyes, how they glance at you, expecting you to lead thats
when you realize what being a Man means. You learn to lead and decide. You learn to push
and pull her gently. You learn about the power play going on between the male and the
female on the parquet. Do you FEEL what Im talking about?
Have you noticed that when you stress yourself too much about something and keep waiting
for it eagerly, it just wont happen? Like you are looking for your keys and turn the whole
house upside down to find them. But only after you stop caring about it so much, and say
Damn it, I give up! will you find the keys just under your nose. This is true for everything

28

in life. When you want something so keenly, you wont get it. But when you can let go of
your obsessive feelings and learn to care less about it, you will achieve your goal.
There is a method on how to get anything you want. First know what it is, and decide if you
really want it that bad. Second, be determined, resolute and ready to do anything to get it.
Third, make the steps necessary to achieve your goal. Remember, you wont win the lottery if
you dont play no matter how resolute you are. And the forth step is that after you have
done everything you could, let go of it. Yes, let-go-of-it. Forget about the whole thing, and
stop caring so much. Thats the hardest part. But only then, when it truly happens will come
the fifth step, which is reaching your goal.
Just like with women. After you have done what you could to accomplish your goal, let go
of your obsession. Go out occasionally, socialize, make friends and live a busy life. As
soon as you forget what you wanted so badly, you will have girls flocking around you. Time
is necessary for success to come. The busier you are, the less you feel sorry for yourself
because of not getting women or not getting the ones you want, the more likely that success
will arrive.
I have mentioned meditation before. It gives you power. You learn to release unnecessary
feelings, to focus on important things intensively, to clear your mind and keep your selfdiscipline. All of those contribute to becoming a Man. Inner balance brings outer balance
which is visible to women. Learn to control yourself. The only person you can control in
this world is YOU. Just by that, you will be way ahead of the crowd and find yourself
being followed by people. A strong leader always has very strong self-control. He doesnt
want to control anyone, just himself and his reality; and the people follow him.
Its the same with women. Focus your mind on the inside. Believe in what you do, and
believe that you will make women follow you. We form everything around us with the way
we see it. Your perception of the world is like a boomerang. Its a subjective thing, which you
can change; but it also comes back and influences you at the same time. You can see the
world as an aggressive and hostile place and behave like that; but you can also build a friendly
environment around you, by acting like it. There is nothing you cant reach. Again, this
requires a lot of practice. This is what life is about.

29

PART THREE

3. The first step: meeting girls

3.1 Decide your goals and what you are willing to put in it all depends on you
The first step is to decide what kind of women you want. Even the best seducers have a
certain group of girls that they are good with. For example, if you are in your twenties, you
might be into picking up party chicks and having a new girl in your bed every day. If you are
in your 40s however, looking for a wife, disco-girls might not be what you expect. So know
what you are looking for and form your strategies accordingly. There are young girls and
older women. There are educated and less educated ones. You will find some of them in clubs
and others at exhibitions, the theatre or your own social circle.
Generally, older women are much easier to find and seduce. They are either singles with a
high sexual drive and a massive amount of frustration, or married women bored with their
husbands and their life of a housewife. As women grow old, they start to have less and less
options. As you get older, you will have more and more. So be patient. Younger girls will
always have more choice. They will be able to select from a wild variety of males, especially
if they look good.
Whatever you want, you will have to figure out what the best way is to get it. Let me give
you a few examples: if you want to become a player, you will be probably hanging out in the
clubs at least 2 or 3 nights a week. If you are an artist or a bohemian person, you will be found
at art exhibitions or modern theatres talking to women of your type. If you like cooking, you
will go to a cooking class to meet such ladies. If you are a new-age guy, you will visit newage programs for such girls. If you are into hard-core Christian women, you will develop a
routine of going to the church and eying them, then come up with a way to talk to them.
Do a brainstorming. If you like girls who do sports, get a pair of skates and hang around the
local skating road. When a hot girl comes approach and talk to her. After a little bit of
experimentation and a few crash and burns, you will find certain repeating schemes in your
conversations. With a skating girl you wont talk about modern art, while at the exhibition
the girl you are talking to might not be interested in your rock-climbing adventures.
So to finalize it, the basic steps would be:
1, Think about what you are like, decide what kind of women you want and what
qualities she should have. Of course you should take one step at a time and be realistic. If
you are a virgin, you wont become a player next week and bed the hottest playboy models.
You will have to put a lot of time and energy into achieving your goals. Stay rational and

30

never aim at something you know you cant have in the near future. Its better to have shortterm goals and small successes than to have a big disappointment.
2, Think where such women could be found in your city.
3, Attend such events or places regularly. If you dont find what you are looking for, go
back to step 1 or 2.
4, Talk to these women. Get to know what they are into, what they are like, and find
common interests with them.
5, After meeting women of the kind you selected, you will form a picture in your mind about
their general traits. From that point on, you will be able to tailor your conversations
accordingly and to develop a certain routine. Such things might include always telling
those skater girls your favorite bungee-jumping story, or bringing them to the cafe around the
corner, which happens to be a romantic little place just below your apartment. Of course in
the end, most of these skater chicks will end up in your flat
6, Keep your eyes open and be prepared to meet women ANYWHERE. Dont limit
yourself to skater girls when you work in the proximity of an all-girls boarding school.
Now that you have been flooded with information, here is a list of places to meet women
(which is not intended to be exhaustive):
1, On the street
2, Shopping centers
3, Clubs and bars
4, Dance schools
5, High schools and university campuses
6, Language schools and courses of your interest
7, At work
8, Festivals and programs
9, Museums, art exhibitions, galleries
10, Concerts and the theatre
11, While being on holiday
12, In your own social circle or house parties
13, The ice-skating ring
14, At the beach
15, While doing sports (tennis, squash, billiards, etc.)
16, In the park
17, While walking your dog
18, In a cafe
19, The library
20, At church
21, In the gym

31

22, At yoga class

And the list goes on, possibilities are endless. You can hardly name a place where its
impossible to get together with a girl. Many couples have met by accident and such
accidents can happen anywhere. Of course no one says you cant help those little
accidents come to life at your favorite skating road or anywhere else.
Before you begin, decide NOW what you are willing to put into this. You know your skill
(whether you are a virgin or you have a few trophies behind you) and you probably have an
idea of how much work you will need to get better. From my own experience, I dont suggest
devoting all your time to learning to pick up girls going out for 5 days a week can exhaust
you and its easy to lose motivation quickly. Never forget that women should be a part of
your life, not the goal of it.
On the contrary, by sitting home all week you wont have much results either. The
mentality to avoid is: It feels so safe and warm at home, I wont go out today, maybe next
time and this goes on for months or years while you fall into depression. Women wont
fly to your house, you will have to go out to get them.
So leave the safety of your home and socialize. Work on getting friends and meeting new
people. Its the first step to success with women: to learn to be a social person. Even if you
are new in a city, get out of the house and do something. Everybody has an interest or a hobby
to share with other people. I dont care what it takes to get you outside but do it. Sign up for a
dancing course, for a foreign language course, visit a sports-club it doesnt matter. Go out
once, twice or trice a week, visit new places, meet new people and feel good in your skin.
And lastly, dont forget that success wont come in an hour or two; you will have to work
for it. They say that when you are learning something new (like a martial art), after 6 months
you will know what it is about. After 1 year, you will know a few things. In 4 years, you will
consider yourself fairly good. Another 10 years and you become a master only to realize
how many things you dont know yet So keep this in mind when setting up your goals, and
dont be disappointed if success doesnt come tomorrow. With time and the will you put in, it
will do eventually.

3.2 Overcoming your fear of talking to strangers with mass approaches

Everyone who is not used to approaching strangers will have a fear of it. Its normal.
Some people will find it easier, some will find it really hard to overcome this. Its like you are
an actor going on stage for the first time in front of a large audience. You will feel your heart

32

pumping, those butterflies in your stomach and the lump in your throat Even the biggest
actors will feel that anxiety before going on stage, but the difference is that they LEARN TO
CONTROL IT. So thats what you will have to do too. Learn to control your fear and
anxiety of approaching complete women strangers. Women strangers wow, how scary
does that sound? You never did that, right? You will my friend, you will!
There are two schools on dealing with the fear of approaching. The first propagates
therapy, as stupid as that sounds. In my opinion, doing a few exercises in your imagination
might help a bit, but wont bring extensive results. What I believe in is shock therapy.
Thats how I got rid of my fear back then. If you want to quit smoking, you wont do it with a
bunch of nicotine plasters. You will have to make the decision once, and stop for good. From
that point on, there is no more smoking. Its the same with girls. You are standing in a club
surrounded with girls. Your heart is pounding. What will you do? You will decide to end your
misery FOR ONCE and approach a girl RIGHT NOW. One of them. Of course the first
approach wont be perfect. But as the saying goes, practice makes perfect. And thats why, I
recommend mass approaches for the first time.
Look, I really dont care what you say. But say something, and say it to as many girls as
possible. The best environment for this would be a club. For the first few times, make sure
you stay sober. Your only goal should be to overcome your fear of approaching girls.
Alcohol will help with your inhibitions but the next day you will be the same person with the
same fears and inner obstacles. Also, dont bring any friends with you. They would just hold
you back and contribute to your getting drunk. Go alone. If you can make sober approaches in
a club, you will be able to make approaches ANYWHERE. Put that into your mind,
ANYWHERE.
Of course this is just the first step. On the online seduction forums, there are many so called
seduction gurus who propagate this style not just for overcoming your inner fears but doing
it EVERYTIME for getting girls. True, its good for newbies, but not for the guys wanting
more. It takes focus from the most important part: the conversation with the girl. So once you
get used to approaching random women, its time to change, and focus on approaching
the ones you want.
But for now, to overcome your initial fears, I give you the following exercise:
1, Choose a club and go out alone. If you want to take someone with you, take one friend
who is willing to learn and wont hold you back. If he does, dont take him the next time you
go. If you have to go alone, go alone. I did it many times. Its no biggie. That way without
company, you are forced to talk to people and you will approach women. Even if you wont
approach anyone the first night, you will feel bad enough to do it the next time you go out.

33

2, Take a deep breath, try to loosen up as much as you can, and go up to a random girl.
She doesnt have to be the hottest one, your average girl will do it for now. If she is with a
group, approach her straight. If its two or three girls, talk to all of them at the same time. But
whoever you approach, DONT HESITATE. Thats the most important part. The more you
hesitate, the less likely it is that you will approach a girl. Dont leave yourself time to
think. Count to 5 and go! Exclude negative thoughts from your mind and forget What
happens if? questions. Nothing happens. Treat the whole club as your playground. No
one will laugh at you, no one will hurt you. Its just some casual talking, no harm done to
anybody.
Even if someone says something to you or behind your back, should it really concern you?
No. That person doesnt know you. You are a valuable human being and you have a lot of
values and positive traits, which are not visible from a few minutes of talking to anybody. So
dont care about that, OK? No one is against you, since no one really knows what you are
like. In clubs everyone is trying to show their best side, still, the most beautiful or most
popular people always have the most shallow and emptiest personalities. They focus just
on the outside and forget that there is a whole different but even more important world at the
inside.
3, So after you have approached a girl or a group, talk to her or them. Even if you are
hesitant, you have your legs shaking and heart pounding, force a smile on your face and tell
her something. The best is to memorize a line, an opener and use that on every girl that
night. This way it wont require additional focus and energy to think up something to say, and
you can concentrate on controlling yourself and your body language. For example, you could
use: Hi! Let me ask you a question. How would you describe your ideal guy? What character
traits and inner values should he have? or Hi! Do you see that girl over there? I like her and
I want to get to know her. What do you think should I tell her? You can also make up any
lines on your own.
4, Depending on how the conversation goes, carry on or leave. Remember, your goal is not
to bed her tonight, but dont stop yourself if it is about to happen. After the opener into the
conversation, you will realize how easy it is to talk to strangers, and that you just made the
first steps of overcoming your biggest fear. How does it feel?
5, Dont stop after talking to a girl or two. Carry on and talk to as many girls as possible.
8 or 10 is OK, 20 is the best. You dont have to run around opening every girl and yell 1!,
2!, 3!. Approach as many of them as you want, remember, your goal is to get used to the
feel of the whole thing. The more you do it, the easier it will seem and you will eventually
realize how normal it is to talk to women.

34

6, When you go home, congratulate yourself. You did your first steps in the land of pick-up.
It was a small step for mankind, but a giant leap for you. Repeat this for a few nights until
you feel comfortable in your own skin talking to girls. But when you get into the game and
start to enjoy it, dont forget that the above was only for de-shying you. For showing how
easy it is to talk to a girl. Its not the way to go from now on. You will now find the girls
that you really like and approach only those. Up to this point it would have only given you
an excuse to stop yourself from approaching. But from this point on, it will help you focus on
the more important side, the pick-up itself. And now, if you think you are ready for the next
step, read on to chapter 3.3.
And lastly, let here stand a story from my life as motivation: When I was younger, I had a
fear of approaching women. I was even shy to go up to the girls in my high school who were
going to one class below us. So I decided to de-shy myself. During the winter I spent many
days of the week in the local ice-skating ring approaching girls with the lamest pick-up lines
you can imagine. Hi! Do you believe in love at first sight or should I skate through in front
you again? That time I thought that they would work. Guess what: they didnt. But still I
had to force myself to approach strangers, which gave me a strong base to build my game on.

3.3 Approaching her what mistakes to avoid

Before you put the above knowledge into use, lets see what NOT to say to girls upon
approaching them. There are two main grounds of pick-up. Discos and everything else.
They are in separate categories because the first is so different from the rest. Its a whole art
on its own. So we will talk about discos for now. If you learn to get girls there, other venues
will be a peace of cake.
Lets see pick-up lines first. Have you ever tried using them? Im sure most guys have done
once or twice. Or more. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Sounds cheesy, doesnt it? Pick-up lines are L-A-M-E. She has heard it many times before;
by using them, you become just another loser from the z-crowd. Even if the girl liked you
initially, you can easily ruin your chances with a lame line. So forget about them for good.
Girls in clubs expect to be hit on by guys. Thats why they go mainly: to boost their ego or to
have some fun with a guy. When you approach a girl in a club, she will know what you
are up to. From the moment you open your mouth to speak, she will be sure that you are at
least a little interested in her. Otherwise, why would you talk to her in the first place? This
puts her into the position of power. She is the selector now; she can decide to turn her back to
you anytime.

35

The first thought of a girl you approach will probably be: Here is another guy who wants
something from me. The second is either He seems different, lets give him a chance. or
No, not another loser, where are these coming from? No more losers for tonight, now get
away from me! To increase your chances, you have to separate yourself from the crowd.
You have to be different from the rest, to give her a reason why she should talk to you.
There are many schemes that most of the guys follow. She knows all of these. At least 3
guys will approach her with Hi! Im John. You come here often? while she is dancing.
There is something even better: buying drinks in discos. Forget about it NOW. I dont
know who was the first one to come up with such a stupid idea, but he must have been out of
mind. She gets 5 drinks a night and refuses another 5. Hot girls spend ZERO, yes, ZERO
money on drinks in clubs. Its because there is always a loser to invite them for one. They
dont even have to move a nail, and they have 2 drinks in front of them.
But why would you invite her for a drink? Do you know her? No. She is a total stranger
to you. Do you invite your best buddies for a drink? Yes. Do you invite strangers? No. So
treat her like one. Buying a drink equals to approaching her with the following: I want to
fuck you and I think that by buying you a cheap few dollars drink Ill have a better chance of
doing so! So can we leave now? Would you fuck a guy like that if you were a girl? Not
likely! So forget about it. Even if she asks you to invite her for a drink, just say a firm No.
Its a test from her to decide how Manly you are. If you complied she would lose interest in
you immediately.
99% of the rest of the guys that a girl in a club meets will be from two categories: the ones
who try to hide their intentions, and the ones who are too direct and obvious about
them. Even if she hooks up with a guy like that, its because she liked him initially, and she
would have smiled at him even if he said Unga-bunga.
So the first mistake to avoid is hiding your intentions. Trying to approach her with an
excuse or by talking about the latest swimsuit fashion is just a waste of time. (Unless you are
gay of course, but then Im sorry, you are reading the wrong book! ) She might be
entertained by it and since your presence is non-threatening to her, you might feel that your
pick-up is going well. Then suddenly you lose her. Its normal: she is not stupid, and she
knew what you wanted from the beginning. The average clubber girl is approached 10 to 20
times a night by a large variety of guys, and she has much more experience in handling them
than you do with girls. Dont think you can foul her to believe you are there for an hour just to
have fun. A real Man will never hide what he wants and try to trick her it just lowers your
value in the girls eyes.

36

The other mistake you can make is being too direct and obvious. Wanna fuck? is not the
best way to impress a girl. Even if she is a more experienced woman, she still has some of her
little princess fantasies. If you come in by making your intentions clear of not meeting but
FUCKING her, she will brush you off in a minute. We are wired differently. Men would jump
straight into sex, while women need a long, exciting foreplay to get ready for action.
Take the whole game as a very, very long foreplay. Even if a woman likes you and would
be ready to go straight into your bed, she still has to handle social restrictions programmed
into her head from early childhood. Not just that she is much weaker and you could easily be
a stalker, but if she left with you after the first sentence, her girlfriends would think she was a
SLUT. You can still find 1 girl in every 50 to leave with you after the above opener, but you
had better avoid those. You dont want to lay a girl who is with a new guy every night. At
least if you want a girl and not a nympho.

3.4 Approaching her what to say and how

After all these nos, lets talk about the yeses. We know that she is approached many times,
she knows your intentions, and this puts her in the place of power. Therefore the solution is
to show that you are a Man and be normally direct. You shouldnt be overtly direct and you
shouldnt hide your intentions at the same time. Its exactly what she wants. Tell her that you
like her, but also show with your attitude that you are a Man who can handle her and walk
away whenever he wants. This disarms her and puts YOU into the position of power.
Showing Manliness during an approach has two elements. What you say and how you say it.
She will have formed an opinion about you in the first few seconds. Just like its enough for
you to look at a girl for a glance and decide whether you like her body or not, she needs just a
few seconds of talking to get a first impression. And in clubs, girls will judge you by that.
Up to this point, I have been talking a lot about the how part. You can go back to part 2,
How to be the Man and re-read it. Having the attitude of a Man is very important. No
matter how good your approach is if you cant be consistent with it. She will sense that you
are just faking it sooner or later, and lose interest in you immediately. Only by reading about
something you wont acquire the ability, but the more you read it, the more familiar you will
become with the concept, and when an actual situation arises, you will be able to remember
and use it. It takes practice, but reading about it again and again gives determination and
motivates you on the road.
Now lets see what to say. Here are a bunch of normally direct openers you are going to
use:

37

1, I like you. You have a beautiful smile.

2, I like you and I would like to get to know you.
3, You are beautiful. I like you.
4, You know how you look? You look like someone I should meet.
Choose one of the above and use it. These are very unique opening lines. She has probably
never heard something like this from a guy before. Its honest and non-threatening.
Approaching her with such an opener is like her prince charming appearing out of the blue.
She has waited for that moment since the beginning for a real Man to come.
How you deliver those lines is VERY important. You are in a club full of girls. Choose a
girl that you REALLY like. Dont make excuses or compromises and say That girl is too hot
for me so Ill approach a less good looking one. I want you to approach one of the
hottest girls in the club, and I know you can do it.
When you have selected your target, start going straight up to her. No matter whether she
is sitting at the bar, dancing on a stool, talking to her friends or just standing somewhere.
Look at the girl while approaching whether she notices it and looks back or not. Dont try
to hide and approach from sideways or from her back, do it the shortest way possible and
go straight in front of her. If there are people in the way, gently push them away. Dont let
them distract you and dont start apologizing for pushing them away because it can ruin your
Manly state.
Even if she is with her friends and not alone, always go straight up to your target girl and
ignore the rest of the group. If they see that she likes you which she will do they wont
block you. Make sure to SMILE upon approaching her and during the conversation. A
smile is very disarming and makes her feel good. When you are standing in front of her, look
deep into her eyes and talk to her. You can even check out her body in a visible way
before delivering your line. Dont forget, a Man will never apologize for his desires.
When using one of the normally direct openers, mind your body language and voice tone.
Speak on a low, calm voice. Pay attention to your inner state, and dont deliver the line
in a hurry. If she sees that you are hesitating or being nervous, she will know that you are
just faking to be a Man and brush you off quickly. Act casually, like talking to a girl is an
everyday thing you do.
Your inner state affects people around you. When you are feeling good and happy, people
you talk to tend to adopt your happiness. This is the MOST important part: when you
approach the girl, act like you have found a long lost friend or you are meeting your true
love who you havent seen in a very long time. Smile and show her how happy you are to

38

meet her. Even if you are feeling down and low or you have no reasons to be happy, try to
get yourself into that state. Think of a good memory from the past and KNOW that something
good is going to happen and awaits you. No matter if your target girl is in a bad mood or
acting bitchy with other guys, your state will disarm her instantly.
When talking to her first, there is no need to stand in a distance like you are afraid of her.
Gentle human touch can add to the equation. You can stand next to her and gently touch
her shoulders, her back or put your arms around her when delivering one of the lines. If
music is too loud, lean even closer and whisper to her ears. When she turns her head
towards you, have a big smile on your face.
If your target is moving in the club or coming towards you, stop her. Start going in front of
her, lock eye contact and say Stop. dont yell because she will be scared. Say it in a
gentle but confident way, and smile while doing it. If she doesnt stop you can put your
hand out in front of you or gently grab her arm or shoulder, lean closer and whisper your line
to her ear. All the above about delivery stands in this case as well.
If she is turned away when approaching her and even after the opener, she is testing to see
whether you are consistent with your frame of the Man. If you stand there like an average
champ she will lose interest and ignore you. So gently grab her shoulders and turn her
towards you. Smile while doing it.
After your opener, the girl will usually smile, be happy, be surprised or might not know
how to act. She might extend her hand to introduce herself. If that happens, shake her hand
and introduce yourself as well. Some of the girls will be embarrassed and wont know
how to act or what to say. Its like a shock to them and they dont believe their own eyes. A
real Man for her is like the hottest girl in the club going up to you and offering to spend the
night together. You would probably be stunned and not know how to react or what to say for a
few minutes. So if that happens, break the ice by asking her a question or introducing
yourself first.
You can also give her a compliment straight after the opener or later. If you do, dont
forget to compliment her personality, taste or her achievements and never her genetics. Like
you can approach a girl with I like you. You have really nice earrings, it shows a wonderful
taste. You can also say You have beautiful, soft hair or something to this extent. These are
Manly compliments, which show that you are a real Man, and you can also care about her at
the same time.
During the conversation ask questions about her and be totally casual. She will be a
pleasant partner and answer your questions. You will notice that some of the hottest girls are

39

empty and dont know what to talk about. In this case I have given some conversational
topics in chapter 4.3 and 4.4, you can use them with the questions game during your initial
talking. The most important of all again is to stay consistent with your approach and Manly
frame during the pick-up and also on your dates. If she senses that you are faking it, she will
leave you.
Often her female or male friends can become jealous, and to prevent that you will have to
isolate the girl. When you feel that the conversation is going well, grab her arm or her
hand and say: Lets go somewhere quieter! then lead her to another side of the club.
The best is a table or some place where the music is not too loud and you can sit down and
talk without being interrupted. Such a place is the best to kiss her and make-out.
If she is worried that about losing her friends or them leaving her, tell that you will go and
find them together later. If you cant withhold her, grab her hand and lead her to find her
friends. Its important not to let her lead you; you should be the one searching while bringing
her around. If you dont know how her friends look, tell her to alert you if she sees them.
Hot girls are very flaky, and since they are usually spoilt and given everything because of
their looks, they find it hard to take responsibilities. The hotter they are, the truer this is.
She might have to leave you to go to the toilet or catch her friends. If this happens, no matter
if she promises to come back or you were in a wonderful conversation, she will probably stay
with her friends. In this case find her, smile and continue talking from where you left off.
After the conversation when time is ready, kiss her or get her number. If the situation
allows it, go as far as she lets you. You can read more about such in the next part of the book.
Never hesitate if you feel like the moment has come to act. Too much hesitation is
inconsistent with your initial Manly frame, and if she senses it, she will leave you quickly.
Some clubs are one big dance floor with really loud music and dont have too many places
to talk. I usually avoid these but there might be cases when there is no other place to go. You
could learn a few dance moves and try them on girls, but its usually useless because your
looks will matter in such cases.
Also, many of the girls on the dance floor take drugs, and trying to pick-up such girls is
usually pointless. They are easy and can give you their number, but they will behave totally
differently the next day. They are just there to have fun, and while being drugged they dont
consider anything, which happens seriously. Also note: laying drugged/drunken girls is
against the law and it is considered a crime in many countries including the United States.

40

So the solution for these places is to learn to raise your voice, speak louder and approach
the same way you would normally. You can also try to isolate girls from their group or
surroundings quickly and find a quieter place in the club to talk. After your opener, gently
grab her hand and say: Lets go somewhere quieter.
Note: The concept and openers above are based on the method developed by my friend,
Ranko Magami. You can visit his website at www.attractanddate.com.

3.5 Getting her phone number

I only wrote a separate chapter on this because many guys tend to overrate this phase. Getting
her number is easy once she is ATTRACTED to you. Just tell: I want to meet you later.
Give me your phone number. Have your mobile or a piece of paper and a pen near at hand
and have her write it for you. After getting the number, kiss her goodbye and leave.
If she doesnt want to give it to you but offers to take yours and call, dont accept it. Never
give her your number without getting hers. Its a sign that she is not interested and
accepting it would show a great deal of disrespect towards you. Tell her: Look, I wont give
my number to you without getting yours since I know you wouldnt call. I want to meet you
but Im not into playing silly games. Either give me your number now or I will leave and we
are never going to see each other again. If she wont, it means you have probably done
something wrong (read: you werent Man enough for her) and there is not much left to do.

3.6 Other venues

Apart from clubs there are many other places to meet girls. These include shopping
centers, university campuses, the street and other venues I have already mentioned. The
difference is that at most of these places women dont expect to be approached and they
are in a different mood. Usually alone by going up to them you will create a big amount of
attraction. But always pay attention not to come off threatening. Yelling Stop! at a girl on
the street with a serious face might not be the best way to approach her. I wouldnt
recommend touching her either: imagine if you were a woman and some stranger suddenly
put his hands on your shoulders on the street.
Just choose the girl you want to approach: on the street, inside a shopping center or anywhere
else. Try to lock eye contact with her. Whether she looks back at you or not, smile, then go
straight up to her. Dont approach behind from her back or from the sides, your goal is
not to scare her to death but to talk to her. When you are in front of her, raise your hand

41

gently and say Stop. while still smiling and looking in her eyes. If she is located
elsewhere, like sitting on a bench, sit next to her. Your state should be the same as when
approaching a girl in a club, be happy about meeting her and show it. You can use one of
the I like you lines: Hi! I like you. You have a beautiful smile.
After she recovers from the surprise and you talk a bit, you can offer to sit in a nearby cafe
if she is not in a hurry. Shopping centers are ideal for this because they usually have some
restaurants and cafes inside. If she has to leave, just say: I see that you are in a hurry, but I
want to meet you later and get to know you better. Lets exchange numbers and we can sit in
a cafe to talk later. Then take her number.
If both of you have some spare time, its not a bad idea to stay together and switch venues.
Like you meet at the shopping center, sit and talk in a cafe for an hour or two, then you can
take her for a walk at the nearby park and kiss her. The more time you spend and the more
places you visit together, the closer she will feel to you and feel like you have known each
other for some time. Try it. And by the way, the same can be done when doing pick-up in
clubs: just extract the girl from the club then visit a restaurant or another place like if you
were already a couple.
Another way to meet girls is your own social circle. That is your friends and the people
they introduce you to. Visiting a house party organized by your buddies, or going out together
is the easiest way to pick up a girl from that company. Just make sure when you are new in a
group, dont fight for attention or try to be the center with being loud. Lay back and watch the
dynamics going on in the conversation. There is no need to use any specific openers, just
approach the girl you want when the time is right and talk to her.
A word of warning though: if its more of a closed company, think twice before trying to pick
up a girl. Dont shit where you eat; see if its worth it. Consider losing your chance with
other girls in the same group. And if she is the only girl while eight guys are trying to pick
her up, you will have to choose a different technique. Just lay back and ignore the girl.
Your ignorance will start bugging her after some time, and she will probably initiate. Note
that this only works if she has already acknowledged your presence.

3.7 When a girl wants to be approached

Whether you notice it or not, during your everyday life girls are giving you signs about
their interest or disinterest towards you. Just like when a hot female comes in front of you
and you feast your eyes on her body, girls measure you the same way. Of course most of these
girls might not fully come up to your standards, but you will be sure to find some of them

42

who are fairly hot. I will talk about the signs of interest in depth in chapter 4.5, but also
mention a few of them here.
When you see a girl coming in front of you and she looks deep into your eyes or even
smiles, thats a sign of interest. When you are on the bus and you notice that a certain girl
maintains her proximity even if you sit or stand somewhere else, thats another sign.
Maybe while you are reading a book you notice with your peripherial sight that she is
looking at you occasionally. Or when you sit next to her on the bus, she fixes her hair or
tries to do something to get your attention. Some of these signs can be unconscious, but
most of them are done consciously.
Wherever you are, on the street, traveling by the underground or sitting in a cafe if you see a
girl you like giving you signs of interest, you SHOULD approach her. If you are pressed by
time or in a situation where one of you is in a hurry, there is a nice line I like to use. She is
rarely approached with such and it displays a great amount of Manliness. Upon approaching,
tell her: Hi. You look like somebody I should get to know, but Im in a hurry right now. Still,
I dont want to pass such a wonderful opportunity to meet someone like you. Id like to see
you again at a place where we could talk and get to know each other. While delivering it,
make sure that you come off non-threatening. Have a big smile on your face all the time.
You are not a stalker; your goal is to get to know her better. If she agrees (if it was an
invitation to be approached she no doubt will) tell her to exchange numbers. Then smile and
carry on with whatever you were doing.
The same can be a lot more spectacular in a club where girls go to get guys. Even the
average looking guys get at least 4 or 5 invitations for an approach during a night of clubbing
in a crowded club (although most of them dont notice it at all). Usually, you can approach
her with one of the I like you openers. If you are leaving or dont have time to talk, the line
from above can be pulled off very nicely. I have had many situations when I was about to
leave the club in the morning and noticed a girl catching my eye. I went up to her and asked
for her number. She smiled and that was it. I ended up dating her.
If you have no experience with female signs, learning to recognize them will be harder at
the first time. Pay attention to how people behave during everyday life and watch the signs
that women give to you and other guys with their body language. Just from observing certain
social situations in your company or in a crowded club, you can learn a lot!
Generally, if a woman is coming in front of you and she looks into your eyes while smiling,
or looks down childishly, she is likely to be interested in you. Some women might not be
comfortable looking into your eyes or showing their interest, thats why its important to
feel the situation. Having these feelings will come with experience. If she looks away or

43

upwards, she is probably either neutral or disinterested. But even then, you can approach her
with what you have learnt in chapter 3.4.
There are also levels on how much she is interested in you. I have met girls who were
eying a guy for a whole night till he got his courage to approach them. On the contrary, some
of them will only give you a slight glance from which you will have to decide. Either way,
even if you are not sure about her initial interest, approach her.
Listen guys, if you base your approaches JUST on signs of interest that women are giving,
you will see that your success skyrockets quickly. BUT its also easy to fall into the TRAP of
laziness or shyness, and use this as an excuse so you dont have to make cold approaches.
Please, dont do that. These invitations usually guarantee success and being able to use this is
a nice tool to have in your arsenal. But the hottest women will very rarely give you such signs
and you will have to cold-approach them. So be the Man, use what youve learnt and be
ready to approach anytime without excuses, not just when you are invited to.

3.8 Meeting women from the net

To be honest, I have never met any model quality girls from the Internet. Whether you
will or not depends on your geographical location. In some bigger cities girls are widely
using the Internet. In my area I have only encountered two types of sites: one with little
schoolgirls aged around 14 and one with women over 28. What I was missing are hot girls
between 20 and 25. But if you go out regularly and still have that much time on your hands,
you should try it out on your own. Its good for practicing your Manly attitude.
So here are a few guidelines you can follow if you decide to do Internet dating:
Online personals:
1, I dont recommend using commercial services. Try a free one and if it works for you,
consider paying for it. Otherwise it would be just a waste of money.
2, If a girl is hot enough and has her picture up, she will get 50 mails a day from the creation
of her account. Even if she checks it often, she will be bored of the losers after a few days or
weeks. So be fast when a new girl shows up and write to her instantly.
3, Some guys are setting up fake accounts. They create profiles of hot girls for fun and to see
how many and what kind of e-mails guys are sending. This is lame and messes up the whole
Internet dating scene. So take care when you see a girl who looks too hot to be true, it
could be the picture of a porn star with a funny guy behind the whole thing.

44

4, Another story: There is an urban legend in my city. A guy logged on to an Internet dating
site as a hot woman, and started e-mailing with a lot of guys at the same time. She agreed to
have a date with them. They set up a time and the guy had to have a red rose in his hand so
the girl would recognize him. That day, according to newspapers, there was a big fighting
in the crowd in one of the biggest shopping centers, when fifteen guys arrived in front of the
same cinema holding red roses in their hands.
5, Make sure you have a lot of free time. You will have to check the new profiles and your
messages every day, and on average it can take weeks to get a girl to meet you from the
net.
6, Your profile is very important. Although girls get enough messages so they dont have to
search for guys profiles, when you send a message they will take a look at yours. You should
have something in your profile to separate yourself from the crowd. First, be sure to
have a picture of you. Many women who get 50 new messages a day wont look at yours if
they see you have no pics set up. I dont suggest the use of half-naked pictures or such. Young
girls around 14 will love it, but perhaps thats not what you want?! The best would be
something creative or extraordinary: like you with your dog, you while skiing or you while
hugging or riding a dolphin from your last holiday.
Here is an example text for your profile:
What is a real man like?
Confident? Knows how to lead? You feel safe with him? He has a sense of humor? He is
kind and caring? A true gentleman?
Write me and well see.
7, Many personal services has an option to notify you of newcomers. Take a look at the
pictures daily and write to these girls as quickly as possible. I dont advise writing to those
who dont have their profile pics up. You dont know who you are dealing with, and there
are many girls with pics to choose from.
8, The number of responses you get depends on the number of girls you write to and the
quality of your profile/messages. Have a template message ready which is written well and
that you can send to all of the girls with little modifications. Dont expect every girl to
respond. Some of them will have their mailbox full, some of them wont have time to read
your message, some of them wont be interested, and some of them will be fake accounts. A
good message can increase your success though, like here is an example below:
Hi Amy! If your picture is real, then I like you. You look like someone I should get to know.

45

Im not the type of guy who is into playing games. I know what I want and Im not afraid to
take it. If you think you can handle a challenge, and you would be ready for an adventure,
write me to begin. Richard
9, Try to meet her in real life as soon as possible and dont waste too much time on
anybody. Have multiple girls on the go. Most of them wont take it seriously anyway.
10, There are online communities which you can use to meet women. One of them is
friendster for example. Some of these services including that are not for online dating, but I
have a friend who has a unique style and got a lot of success with friendster chicks.
Chatting:
1, This is another way to meet girls. Its a little bit more personal and it might be easier to
seduce somebody this way, but itll also take a lot of time. Find some general-talk chat
room, which is more popular, and search for girls.
2, Go private as soon as you can and always do simultaneous chats with multiple girls.
3, Try to get her picture as soon as you can. Unlike with personals, if she doesnt have a
picture about herself, it wont necessarily mean that she is ugly. Unfortunately, you will only
find out how she looks on the date. Never listen to what she says about herself, she can easily
be lying. The only way to tell her looks might be from her self-esteem. If she is confident and
seems to have high self-esteem, she might not be that bad looking. You can also ask how
social she is, whether she goes out or not, has a lots of friends etc. These are just guidelines.
4, In the chat, its just as important to separate yourself from the other guys as anywhere else.
Dont show excessive interest in her. Dont hit on her. Lay back and be the Man. If things
are going well, ask for her number. If she wont give it to you, go over e-mail first.
5, I have a friend who was a total newbie with girls and started chatting. He was too lazy to go
out. Still, he put a lot of time and effort into online talk. In a year, he had sex with 2 girls who
he met from the net and a bunch of kisses and dates with others. Thats not a very high
success ratio. And to meet a girl will require mailing back and forth for weeks, having to
beg for her picture and so on. Even if you have multiple girls on the go, its just too much of
a hassle. You can achieve the same by going to a club on an average Saturday night without
having to spend lonely nights in front of your computer. You decide anyway.

46

PART FOUR

4. Second step: from the first date to having sex

4.1 On the phone
Ill always call girls on their mobile if they have one. You can call them whenever you want.
But dont be too eager and dont pick up the phone 5 minutes after you got her number.
There is no need to play games and wait 2 or 3 days before calling either - unless you are
busy of course.
When she picks up the phone, just say: Hi, its Rick. I was just thinking about you and
thought I would give a call to hear your cute smile. You dont need that compliment but it
makes her feel good, so why not? Dont start explaining anything like Hi, its Rick,
remember we met yesterday in club Habana blahblah a real Man wont do that. If she
doesnt remember you by your name and asks who you are, keep an awkward silence for a
few seconds, then tell her.
On the phone you should be short and to the point. No need to seduce her or talk for hours.
Ask whats up, and how she is. Then tell her that you want to meet. Be confident and keep
your strong frame: I want to meet you. Lets meet tomorrow at 3 am in the park. If she is
busy, ask her to list when she is free, and choose a date, which is good for both of you. Never
modify your program for a girl, and even if you made a mistake and did so, never tell her
about it.
After hanging up, dont call her till the date. Its usually best to have just a day or two
between the phone call and the meeting. If you couldnt set up a time to get together, call a
few days later. If you want, you can send her short text messages between those phone calls.
If she doesnt answer the phone, ring back a few minutes later. Never call more than 2 times
in a row. Give her some time, and dont force anything. If its the answering machine, just
say: Hey its me. I was thinking about you so I called. Your cute smile is still in front of me.
I want to meet you tomorrow. I have a nice idea. Bye! Dont tell her what the nice idea is.
Have her thinking and keep her on her toes. Girls love the feeling of anticipation. She will
either call back or you can call her the next day. Dont force to meet if she is not free. Agree
about a different time.
It can sometimes happen that the girl doesnt come to the date or she cancels it few hours,
or even minutes before. There is no universal solution for this. It probably means that you
went wrong somewhere, and werent Man enough for her. She might have problems in her
life or its just a bad day for her. If the attraction is not big enough, it can happen. Women will

47

usually come up with some bullshit on why they cant meet you. Some of these are true but
most of them are stupid excuses. You can either move on, or be persistent till she meets you.
Dont be her little puppy and dont cling on her. Live your life, have more girls on the go
and have OPTIONS, remember? No need to force anything, but you can be persistent if you
want. She will sooner or later give in, or you will decide to move on.

4.2 Where to go on the first few dates

After you did your job on the phone, its time for the first date with the girl. Remember, its
always the man who arranges everything, whether you sit in a cafe or go to the mountains.
You dont have to tell her what you are going to do, women love surprises. A little warning
though: if you know she will probably come in her high-heels either dont take her rock
climbing, or tell her to bring sports-shoes beforehand. She will love you later for that. Its a
sign that you are not a total jerk and you care for her.
Always have a plan, especially when going out with a girl for the first time. The most
important things are knowing where to take her, knowing what to talk about and
advancing physically. Its all about L-E-A-D-I-N-G. In this chapter Ill mostly talk about the
where part, the rest comes later.
I personally dont prefer going to the movies or the theatre on the first date. Your goal for
now is to talk to her and get to know each other better. Nor do I recommend restaurants.
And never ever take her to a club when going out for the first time. Those are for singles or
couples already dating; guys hitting on your girl in a distracting environment could ruin your
relationship before it has even started.
Apart from the above, you have many options. If its cold outside, just sit in a comfortable
cafe or teahouse. It should be a friendly environment where you can sit next to her and which
is not too loud. If you live in a Mediterranean region or if its summer, the best thing you can
do is to take her somewhere outdoors and have some kind of an enjoyable activity together.
I need to stress the importance of knowing your city. So KNOW YOUR CITY. Know the
monuments, romantic places, parks, fun-parks and the type of activities you can do together
with a girl. There must be some city-guide paper, which you can get your hands on and see
where the most romantic places are. Or ask one of your friendgirls to show you around. Your
date will love it when you take her to a place where she has never been or didnt even know
about. Here are a few ideas to consider:

48

Outdoor dates:
1, Parks where you can have a walk and chill-out together. Sit on the benches where couples
kiss nearby, look at the flowers, walk below the trees, play games or have a picnic.
Possibilities are endless.
2, Castles, ancient ruins or any monument you have. Anything you can climb and which is
somewhat of an adventure. If there is a long-abandoned ruin or castle in your city, take her
there. Its going to be a lot of fun for her. Make sure that if she is frightened you are there to
comfort and hug her.
3, Lookout towers or places with good sight. Put your arms around her while looking down
the city. If its located at a higher place you can walk there together.
4, Go to the funfair, the zoo or a delphinarium/acquarium.
5, Caves. If you have caves in the city or nearby, take her there on an arranged tour.
6, Rock or Wall-climbing. Its an exciting and good date if you know how to do it, even if
just a little more than her.
7, Go skating or visit the ice-skating ring during winter.
8, Swimming pool. Go to the swimming pool or the local beach together. Swim and sunbathe
then have a cold drink in one of the cafes there.
9, Go on an outing to a nearby forest or some interesting place. Visit a fountain, a lookout
tower or a local monument.
10, Go-kart racing or bob.
11, An excursion with a boat, or jet-skiing on the local river/lake.
Non-outdoor dates:
1, Bowling. Give her a sponge down while playing bowling. You can keep teasing her if its
her first time playing.
2, Snooker or billiards. Only if you know how to play it a little bit though.
3, Shopping together. Go to the nearest shopping center. Sit in a cafe then walk around
together. Go to a few stores and shop clothes for you. Ask her how the clothes fit you. Go to
the bookstore and have fun while looking at the sex or love advice books with the girl.
4, Playing squash or tennis then having a drink together.
5, Museums and art galleries.
6, Exhibitions or statue parks.
Here is an example for a unique place from my own city. Im sure you can find something
cool in yours as well just open your eyes and look around. So, we have a short tunnel here,
which leads straight to a bridge across the river from the other side of the hill it crosses. The
bridge is illuminated at night, and there is a calm hidden place, the top of the tunnel, from
which the sight is beautiful to the bridge and the whole city, especially at night. I will take her

49

to a cafe nearby, then have a walk together and arrive to the top of the tunnel as a surprise. Its
an ideal place to kiss for the first time and to finish a wonderful date.
Use your imagination and come up with new ideas to suit your needs. Do whatever you can
in YOUR city. Although not all the above places from the list are good for a first date, it has a
bunch of them which can keep both you and the girl entertained for a while when dating. The
best are cheap, low cost dates. I never take her to somewhere expensive for the first time.
You can do that later in a relationship as a reward or gift. And remember what I said about
money: be careful with gold-diggers!
As I mentioned previously, knowing where to take her is necessary but not enough on its own.
You should also know where you are going with your conversations and advance physically.
In the next two chapters, I will give you some examples of topics to talk about on your gettogethers. By saying that you should advance physically I mean that whenever Im on a first
date, I have a goal in mind. That goal is to kiss her by the end of the date. You are soon
going to learn some techniques and ideas to achieve this as well. Carry on!

4.3 What to talk about

Talking to women is a little bit different than talking to your buddies. To become good
you will have to work on your skills and practice, just like you did when learning to ride your
bicycle.
With girls, there are times when you just click and communication is flawless between the
two of you. You dont have to think about what to say next and get caught up in a nice
conversation. On the other hand, there will be times when you encounter awful silences and
wont know what to say. When this happens its not bad to have some topics prepared in
your arsenal to spice up your conversation a little.
Whats the purpose of communication between the two of you after all? The main purpose is
to get to know each other better. To get a rough impression of each others personality and
view of the world. To see if you click and get on well. Apart from this, women will always
ask themselves about their feelings, the way they feel about you after talking to you. Thus for
you, communication will also be a tool to invoke certain emotions in her.
Lets talk about these. Before anything can happen, she has to like you. If you are a Man,
she will see it in the first few seconds and be attracted. When it happens she will be interested
in talking to you or going on a date. After the initial attraction, there are certain phases
that each male-female interaction goes through. You can speed up the process but cant

50

skip any parts. Here is a way for categorizing it, which I call the phases of initial
conversation: (you could categorize it in many other ways of course)
1, The first step is to loosen up a little in each others company. You can talk about totally
superficial topics, it doesnt really matter. People need time to let themselves loose a little bit,
to get accustomed to the environment and the other person, especially on a date.
2, When you have loosened up, the next step is to achieve rapport with each other. Finding
commonalities, common interests and finding a point where the two of you can connect is
necessary.
3, When you have found common things in the two of you, you can work on establishing
comfort and trust. Women need to know that they can trust you before giving their body to
you. They need to know that you dont beat them or leave them after having sex. For ages
women who lost their virginity before marriage were labeled sluts and forced to the border of
society. Today its a lot better but girls still have to consider what their friends will think and
say. Society still puts a lot of pressure on them. Thats why this phase is so important.
4, And the fourth step is her arousal. The first three phases will somewhat guarantee that
during the process of arousal, social conditioning wont kick in. To kiss her or have sex with
her, you need to go through these steps.
Each point of the above is in a cause-and-effect relationship with each other. In order to
have sex with her, she needs to be aroused. You can easily arouse her but to prevent society
conditioning from kicking in, she will need to trust you. But trust comes only after rapport
and rapport comes after loosening up. See? Its like building a house. If you skip the
foundations or just one step, your house will soon collapse. Going through all the 4 phases is
necessary.
Before I give some topics of example regarding the above list, let me tell you what to avoid
talking about. I generally dont talk about religion, politics and work/school when getting
to know a woman for the first time. Religion and politics are taboos, and some people have
such strong views that it might fuck up an otherwise well-going date. Save that for the
relationship, youll have time to have a debate about your views later. Even if you are sure
that your views match, it is not a good idea to talk about such serious topics on the first date.
The others to avoid, the topic of work and school is simply boring. Your first date together
shouldnt look like a job interview. A typical example:
1, Where do you work?
2, Oh, and what was your previous job?
3, Which school do/did you go to?
4, Where do you live?
5, Do you have sisters?

51

6, How old is your little brother?

7, You have a dog?
Etc.
Sounds familiar? AVOID making the above and similar questions the center of your
conversation with the girl. When she comes home from work and goes on a date, she might
want to let her hair loose a little. You dont want to bore each other to death with such
topics. Many guys have already asked her those and you should be different from the rest.
Now, after you know what you shouldnt talk about, lets see each step from the phases of
initial conversation in more detail:
1, To loosen up, there is no need to ask serious questions. A little chit-chat can do the job.
Topics of example: (Note: these are only examples, there is no need to follow this list from
point to point in your conversations, they are just to give ideas if you dont know what to
talk about)
1, News and actualities involving celebrities, drama, trends, fashion. Talking about the latest
break-up of Britney spears, the dressing style of stars, etc. Ask her what she thinks about the
world of celebrities, whether she is attracted or repulsed by it.
2, Her favorite films and why she likes them. Has she seen your favorite film or not. Is she
into the kind of films you like or not?
3, Her favorite actor, actress/popstar/filmstar. Whether she ever fantasized about becoming
a celebrity or not. Does that shining glamorous world attract her? Would she date a famous
person or rather be with a better but unknown guy.
4, Music. What music she likes, has her musical taste changed since her teenage years,
whether she likes classical music or prefers rock/electronic type? Does she go to concerts?
How far would she go for her favorite band? Does she like clubs and if so, what type?
5, Her hobbies: if she likes going to the theatre, exhibitions or reading. Whether she prefers
doing some sports or another activity. Does she dance, if so, what kind of dance she does?
Has she ever done any competitive sports or not. What sports she likes.
6, Animals, her favorite animal, whether she prefers dogs or cats, what she thinks of
vegetarianism and animal rights, has she ever tried horse riding or seen a real dolphin.
7, Ask her if there was any place she could visit now, what it would be.
8, The strangest thing that she has ever done or happened to her.
You can also tell some entertaining stories from your life. The direction of the conversation
will depend on the type of woman you are dealing with. Popping up different topics will show
her general interests and give a picture of the kind of person she is.

52

2, When you are into talking, you can go into deeper topics and ask about herself and her
personality:
1, Relatives and friends. Is she an only child or does she have sisters? If she could choose,
would she choose differently? Did she have a lot of friends in high school? How many does
she have these days? Is friendship important to her and is she good at keeping touch with
friends and relatives?
2, Goals and aspirations. What did she want to be when she was a little girl? Has she
achieved what she wanted, does she still want to or has she changed her goals? What are her
current short-term goals, what does she think she will be doing in 5 to 20 years long-term
and what does she want to do? Ask if she is satisfied with her job/school or if she wants
more.
3, Passion and satisfaction. Is there an activity or hobby of hers, which she does with great
passion and enjoyment? Is there a special place where she relaxes or where she enjoys
being? What does she do to loosen up and free herself from stress and worries? Whats the
most challenging and satisfying thing in her job/area where she studies?
4, Traveling and holidays. Talk about places and countries where either you or her have
been, share your memories, what you and her liked the most. If you have been to the same
place, tell your stories. Ask her about the best vacation of her life and what she liked so
much about it. Whats the first memory that pops into her mind from that holiday? Is there a
country, city or culture, which fascinates her? Has she ever considered moving
somewhere else, to another city, country or part of the world? If she had to live at another
part of the world, what would it be and why?
5, Male-female relationships. Who lies and cheats more women or men? Does she think
men understand what women really want? Is there a change in male and female roles,
how males become more and more feminine and vica versa, in todays society? Tell your
view about these topics and tell her what being a Man means to you.
6, Ask about herself: how she knows when a man is interested in her, whats the thing that
men usually find the most attractive about her. Is she satisfied with herself, both her
personality and looks or is there anything she would change?
3, Going even deeper and sharing memories, which evoke the feelings of comfort and safety
can establish a certain amount of trust:
1, Her youth and childhood. What was her favorite toy, did she play with dolls or was she
the girl who played with the boys? Was she a good or a bad kid, did she have good grades,
when did she have her first drink and was there anything nasty that she did at school?
2, Ask her about her best childhood memory from when she was a little girl, maybe a
place where she liked being a lot, something which gave her comfort and shelter, and where
she felt safe far from the noise of the world. Let her describe what it was like and how she

53

felt in those moments. Ask her if there is something these days, which makes her feel the
same.
3, Talk about her friends, how her friends would describe her behind her back. Has she ever
been very disappointed because of a friend betraying her, does she believe in true friendship
and are there many people who she would consider real friends?
4, If she could go back in time and change something in her life, what she would do
differently, if she could change only one thing, then what it would be.
5, Talk about love, whether she has ever been in love, if so than how many times, whats the
most unexpected thing that she did or would do for love. Does she believe in love at first sight
and does she think that true love exists? Is she lonely sometimes? Wouldnt she love to have
somebody to hug at these moments?
At this point she should be ready for the 4th step arousal which Ill talk about in the next
chapter.

4.4 Sex and critical topics

After she is loosened up in your company and you get the necessary amount of rapport, trust
and comfort with the girl, you can shift the conversation towards a more sexual direction so
she will be ready for the first kiss. The topic of sex is something you can never be direct
about. You cant ask a girl Do you want to have sex with me? when you think she would.
What you can do is to arouse her with words by talking about sexual experiences and
themes to evoke such feelings in her, then slowly advance physically till she will be ready
and wanting sex herself.
There is a game for this that I really like. Its sort of an ice-breaker for the first date. Gives a
frame for both of you to ask questions that you wouldnt ask for a few dates otherwise, and
brings up the topic of sex. Its called the Questions game. Use it when you are deep into
the conversation and both of you are enjoying each others company. Dont take it seriously:
it only works if you do it in a funny and entertaining way. This is not the game to play when
things are going awkward. Only bring it up if both of you are LOOSENED UP and FEELING
WELL.
So tell her you know a funny and entertaining game you want to show. Tell her it has rules.
You ask questions to each other, one at a time. Then the other person asks. You have to ask
questions, which let the rabbit out from the bushes. How old are you? is not allowed. How
many boyfriends have you had? is OK. The same questions cant be asked twice. And the
last rule: she goes first. Of course she wont be able to ask anything and will pass the ball to

54

your court. Here are a few questions you can ask. Look at how they are leading her
towards a sexual direction:
1. Questions about previous relationships, good for a start:
1, How many boyfriends have you had?
2, When did you have your first boyfriend?
3, When did you break up with your last boyfriend?
4, What did you like the most, what did you hate the most in him?
5, What was missing in your relationship with your last boyfriend?
6, What was missing in your relationships with your boyfriends up to now?
7, Do you prefer passion, adventure and excitement or are you more of a romantic person?
8, Have you ever been in love?
9, Which one of your boyfriends did you love the most?
10, What was the most wonderful place where you spent time with him?
11, With your future boyfriend, what would be the most wonderful place to spend time at?
12, Whats the craziest thing you have done in a relationship or for love?
2. Questions about kissing, makes her think about the topic:
13, When did you last kiss a guy?
14, When did you have your first kiss in your life?
15, When did you have the first kiss that you really enjoyed? Describe what it was like.
16, Have you ever kissed a guy on a first date? How did it happen?
17, Describe your perfect kiss, what its like!
18, What was the most exciting thing you did when playing truth or dare?
19, If you had to choose between sex and friendship in a relationship with a guy, which one
would you choose?
3. Questions about sex, ideal for arousing her and making her think about the topic, ask
them only if she seems comfortable with it:
20, Have you ever had a one-night stand?
21, Have you ever had sex on the first date?
22, How often do you have sex when you are in a relationship?
23, Whats the most extreme place where you had sex?
24, Have you ever had sex in public?
25, Which is your favorite position?
26, When did you have sex for the first time?
27, Have you ever had a threesome, with another girl or guy?

55

28, Would you try it?

29, Whats the most extreme thing you did while having sex?
30, What was missing in your sexual life up to now?
31, Do you masturbate? How often?
32, Describe, what perfect sex is like for you.
I cant stress enough to calibrate. If she is not comfortable with more sexual topics, dont
force it. It will vary from girl to girl. If she is a virgin, she might blush when asking some of
the above questions. If she seems uncomfortable, change the topic. Ask something, which is
less piquant, or forget the whole game.
Its also a wonderful game to see what kind of a girl she is. After playing it you will be
able to decide whether she is a more romantic or down to earth person, whether she takes sex
as an everyday thing or she is more of a conservative type etc. With this information you can
tailor your style to her personality. If she is a sexual girl, she will be more open to advancing
physically and maybe having sex on the first date. If she is the romantic type, you can take
your time and let her become more comfortable in your company by waiting a few more
dates.
If things are going well during the game, pay attention to the signals she is giving with her
body language. She might be ready to be kissed after bringing up some of the more sexual
questions, or even just the topic of kissing. Watch for the peak point coming in your
conversation, when her pupils dilate and her breathing fastens. Thats the point to go in for the
kiss. See the next chapters for more info about these signs and how to kiss her.

4.5 How to read women, signs that she is ready to go physical

Normally, there is a special dynamics going on in male-female relationships. While females
tend to adopt a passive, receptive behavior, males are more active and initiative. A typical
example would be a club: girls expect to be approached, while guys are expected to approach
girls. A girl can do two things to improve her success: she can show her best looks, dress in
high heels, push-up bras etc., and she can also give inviting signs for a guy to approach her. A
guy will be more likely to approach a girl who looks good in his eyes, but he will also go for a
less hot one if she shows signs of interest, and he sees the green light.
Thus, in a typical male-female interaction, the female will give signs with her body
language and behavior that she is ready to proceed, while the male will respond to her signs,
calibrate and advance according to it. He will have to do the steps and initiate, as she expects
him to. This is again about leading. No matter how good a conversationalist you are, no

56

matter how much she is attracted to you, you will always have to be the one initiating. Some
aggressive and horny women will do it for you, but thats the exception and not the rule.
There are two kinds of female signs: conscious and unconscious ones. A girl will give
conscious signs when she wants you to make your move. Unconscious signs are subtler and
will be an automatic response to her feeling herself good in your company. It is very
important to learn these signs. I am sure you have laughed just as many times as I did on the
typical scene in Hollywoodian movies: the girl is attracted to a guy, the guy is attracted to the
girl, but the guy doesnt recognize the signs of interest she is giving to him which leads to a
great deal of farce. Just by learning to recognize the signs women are sending, you will
improve your success a lot. In a club or during typical everyday situations there will always
be a few girls around you showing signs of interest and inviting you to approach them
with their body language. If you recognize these girls and make your move, you will be likely
to succeed.
You will see that sometimes certain signs can be misleading and its necessary to develop
your intuition for such situations. For example, a waitress has to smile at everyone to get a
tip, and by accident she could mislead you to think that she is into you. To avoid that, with
experience you will fine tune your intuition and feel whether she is attracted to you or not.
A professional table tennis player doesnt see the ball. He feels it. His hands are moving
automatically while he is in a trance. A lot of practice will make you better in feeling signs
that women are giving, just like the above player does with the ball.
So lets see the most general conscious and unconscious signs, which show that she is
attracted to you:
1, She is loosened up while sitting or standing and talking to you. Her arms are open and not
closed; her legs are either widely open or crossed with her feet pointing towards you.
2, She is comfortable in your company, when you lean closer to her she stays in the same
position in which she was and doesnt pull back.
3, She leans closers while talking to you or sits closer when you are sitting next to each other.
4, She smiles a lot, she is laughing at even your lamest jokes, or she compliments you on
something unremarkable.
5, She touches you sometimes on your arms or shoulder when talking to you.
6, She fixes her clothes, applies more make-up in the toilet, or exposes parts of her body while
revealing skin and showing erotic body parts.
7, She rubs her wrists up and down, and she rubs, touches or keeps stroking her cheek.
8, She plays with her hair, pushes her fingers through it or twirls a few curls in a slow, sensual
motion.

57

9, She looks deep into your eyes while smiling, her pupils are dilated. She blinks faster than
usual or keeps looking into your eyes in a longing, wanting way, like your dog when you are
about to feed him.
10, When you touch her or put your arms around her she is comfortable with it, she might
even snuggle close to you.
11, When you reach out your hand for her she takes it, and keeps holding it like you were
already a couple.
12, She is biting her lips, she is licking her lips while showing her tongue or she wets her lips
with lipstick. She puts a finger or nail into her mouth or over it in a sexual way these signs
show sexual thoughts and they are usually the signs of arousal.
13, She is rubbing her legs together, to the legs of the table or to your legs under the table
another sign of sexual arousal.
14, She is playing with something in her hands, the wine glass on the table, her own jewelry
or anything with a rubbing, stroking, sensual motion.
15, The way she sits or stands reflects your body language, she is mirroring you.
Of course she cant be doing all of these signs at the same time. But if you encounter more
than 2 or 3 of them (especially the more serious ones) she is likely to be heavily attracted to
you and wanting you. A word of warning though: just like there are shy guys, there are also
shy girls. They might have a harder time showing signs of interest and flirting with you. They
might try to hide these signs. You will recognize them from their girlish confusion.
And now lets see some negative body language signs, showing disinterest and that she is
the least attracted to you:
1, She breaks eye contact and looks away when you try to look into her eyes.
2, She is giving different wry face expressions showing that she is simply bored. She never
smiles.
3, When you ask a question she asks back in a bit: What did you say? and its obvious that
she was thinking about something else or she is somewhere else mentally.
4, There are long, awkward silences in your conversation, and she doesnt show any interest
to break it or bring up any new topics.
5, Her legs and hands are crossed; she is sitting in a distance or she turns away from you. She
leans back, and when you lean closer she moves away from your proximity or just acts in an
uncomfortable way.
6, She doesnt react to your jokes, she doesnt laugh with you; she is giving a polite or even
surprised face.
And the list goes on. Although persistence is a good trait to have and sometimes by being
persistent you can recover from the most hopeless situations, the above signs show that you

58

have done something wrong and it might be time to move on and search for another girl.
Never be disappointed, success will come with determination and the time you put in.

4.6 How long does it take to lay her?

The above is a question you might have always wanted to ask: how long does it take to lay a
woman? The answer: it depends on both you and her. Whether you are willing to initiate
properly and whether she is ready for it or not. If you ask your friends or other guys, some of
them will say that it took months to lay their girlfriends; some of them will say that they laid
her the first night or on the first date. Generally, you have a good amount of control over
this, but laying a girl who is a total virgin and has never even kissed with a guy will require
some work.
Most girls will have no problems having sex in a few dates or even on the first if they like
you. Those who require more work fit into 3 categories: they are very young and
inexperienced, dealing with problems or playing you. Laying a young virgin will require a
lot of patience. She will want to feel special with you, and to know that you care about her,
love her and wont leave her after having sex. Teenage virgins are usually very idealistic and
believe in true love. Taking such a girls virginity is a big responsibility. They get emotionally
attached to the guy who does it very quickly. If you dont like her and you are thinking about
moving on soon, you should rather leave her before the act. Unless she is an older virgin, in
which case its the second category.
That is girls with problems. Those who have never had an orgasm, whose first sexual
experience was horrible, who were raped or who have inner blocks, maybe because of their
religious upbringing or previous sexual experiences. These girls are in another category, but
require you to be just as caring and responsible as with virgins. Their blocks can be
overcome with love and patience, and after that they will open up sexually. Such girls can
give you a lot of love, and they are not the ones you have sex with then move on to another
woman.
The third category is women who have rules to act hard to get and enjoy playing with
guys. Some of these girls are very hot with a big ego and attitude. They want and enjoy sex,
but they also love when men fight for them. In this case, you will hear excuses like: Im not
yet ready for sex or I dont feel special yet. If you think this is the case, take it like a test.
She needs to feel that you are Man enough, so give it to her. A little bit of jerk attitude might
help in these situations. Be more aggressive than usual. Dont rape her of course, but be more
physical. These girls need to see how powerful you are. Show her that you have options
and you are ready to move on anytime. She should know that you are the selector, and

59

she is not in a position to set up the rules. You should be the one in charge and control. Tell
her that you are not open to playing her little games, and she either gives in or you will move
on quickly.
Make sure you never set up unreachable goals for yourself. If you want to lay every chick
on the first date, it just wont happen. With each girl you are dating, you should decide what
you want. Whether you want something from her long term or you are just having fun with
each other. If you like her personality and she seems to be an ideal partner, it might be worth
waiting some time even if she has sexual blocks to overcome. If you try to force things and
attack her aggressively, you might scare an otherwise wonderful woman away. Of course with
experience you will see how far you can go with a certain girl.
On the other hand, always see through her game and if you think she is playing you, move on.
Never wait months to lay a woman who is not worth your time. And even if a girl requires a
lot of work, you dont have to commit yourself to her, and you can be seeing other women at
the same time. Never limit yourself or your opportunities.
When does a relationship start? Personally, I usually consider a relationship started after we
had sex. Kissing or hanging out together is nothing special for most of the girls and you
should take it the same way. At least up to the point of having sex, I consider it open and I am
seeing other girls. Its about having options. Why commit yourself to a girl who wont even
have sex with you?

4.7 Getting women into the mood, three ways to kiss her
Before we can even talk about sex or kissing, you have to get her in the mood for it. Few
chapters ago, I talked about the 4 most important steps of the process: loosening up, rapport,
comfort/trust and AROUSAL. Any time you go through these phases, you are working on
getting her into the mood. Ive already given some conversational tips for this, now Id like
to talk about the physical part of the equation.
So lets say you did the basics. You are after a nice chat with each other, she has loosened up
and feeling comfortable in your company. You can use the questions game at this point to
direct the conversation towards more sexual topics and get her thinking about sex. Of
course you could come up with your own way of doing things the questions game is just a
tool of the many you can use.
And now that we have put down the foundations we can start building the house. By saying
that you will need to get down the physical part as well, I mean one thing, which is necessary

60

to use: human touch. How do you expect a girl to be comfortable with you kissing her, if
you have never even touched her? I dont want you to become another touchy-feely guy,
but dont be afraid to touch her when the mood is right. Do it on her arms, shoulders, back,
and her hands occasionally.
Touch her in a casual way from the beginning of the conversation, like nothing happened; its
a normal part of human interactions. When she is more comfortable in your company,
stand or sit next to her. Try putting one of your hands on her back or waist area and
embracing her. If she moves away, it means that she is not ready to go more physical yet.
Dont force anything; take a few steps back and establish more trust with her. Talk a bit, have
fun together and let her loosen up better.
If you are new to the whole thing and not used to touching girls, it might be strange when
doing it for the first time. You will need to practice it. The first step is to realize that
without touches, you are not getting anywhere. You will have to do it sooner or later so touch
her as soon as you can. A Man has no problems with going physical. If you cant do so, you
wont be able to INITIATE and LEAD. Thats one of the biggest mistakes you could make.
So practice touching during your everyday conversations with people and especially
women. Dont overdo it, but when you are talking to a girl or your close friends, touch them
at non-sexual areas. Non-sexual areas are hands, arms, shoulders and the back. Pay attention
to how they react though, some of your friends might not be comfortable with a guy touching
them and you should definitely NOT practice on your boss, unless you want her to sue you for
sexual abuse.
Back to your date. When touching her any place, always watch the signs that she is giving.
Dont stare at her, but pay attention to the subtle indicators that she is ready for the kiss. Use
what you learnt in chapter 4.5. Usually, if the girl is smiling, looking into your eyes, asking
you questions, if she doesnt pull back when you lean closer, if she lets you keep your hand
on her back when you are sitting next each other, if you are having a pleasant conversation
talking about deeper topics or even sex, or she starts wetting and licking her lips with her
tongue she is ready for the kiss to happen. Now its time for you to initiate. But how?
There is a little test you can use to make sure you have the green light. Act like you see hair
on her shoulder or on her face, and gently stroke it off from her. Or if you want to go more
direct, when you are sitting close you can simply touch her hair and stroke it a little bit with
your fingers. Or sweep it away from her ears. Letting you touch and play with her hair is
almost as intimate as kissing with you. If she is relaxed while doing this and doesnt pull back
or give a face, she is ready to be kissed.

61

There are many ways to kiss her. I teach you three: a direct and two subtler ones. The direct
way takes balls but its much easier. Tell her to close her eyes. If she asks, tell her that you
have a surprise for her. If she wont close them, it means she is not comfortable enough with
you yet (if this happens, take a few steps back). When she closes her eyes, lean in and give
her a gentle kiss on the lips. She will either kiss back or be stunned. If the latter happens just
smile and say: This was good, wasnt it? This is the cocky way of doing it, but it works. To
pull it off, you will have to be consistent with yourself. Never apologize for being the Man.
You are the leader and you will take what you want. If she ever acts annoyed or pissed, its
just her test for you to see if you are really a Man or only pretending it. So smile at her and act
like nothing happened.
If you want a more subtle way to kiss her, there is a technique you can use. The part of the
neck and shoulders is very sensitive for women. By smelling her there, you will stir up her
animal instincts. Just think how dogs smell each other during their mating game. So sit next to
your girl first. I also love to do this when dancing for a slow song. Wherever you do it, lean a
little bit closer, and slowly start smelling her shoulders. Do it in a casual and relaxed way
both of you should be enjoying it. Tell her that she has a wonderful scent and you cant stop
yourself from smelling her for a while. Take deep slow sighs while doing it she should feel
your light breath on her skin slowly turning her on.
Take your time and a few minutes doing this while advancing from her shoulders to the neck
area. Smell the sides of her neck and the back just below where her hair grows. You can start
giving gentle kisses on her neck after a few minutes of smelling. Go upwards slowly with the
kissing and continue on her cheeks. When you feel that the time is ready, lean in and give
her a gentle kiss on the lips.
The last way is the shy guys way. Just kidding but it still takes the least balls to do. When
you think she would be ready, pop her the question: Would you like to kiss me? She will
most likely say I dont know, Im not sure, Maybe or Yes!. If that happens,
say Hmmm, lets see! and go in for the kiss. Sometimes you can get No. as the answer. In
this case, tell her that she really knows how to ruin a beautiful moment like this and act
offended in sort of a playful way. Tell her that now she has to conciliate you and let her come
up with something to do it. Then when you feel like the moment arises again, kiss her. And if
nothing works you can still use the smelling technique to initiate kissing.
Lastly, if you are unsure whether you are a good kisser or not, practice. Kissing can be
both gentle and aggressive. When kissing a girl for the first time, start gently and become
more aggressive as both of you are getting turned on. Watch your partners reaction. Although
you can only become a good kisser by doing it in real life with real women, there is a funny

62

technique to experiment with: give short kisses on the back of your hand to practice gentle,
soft kissing.
Generally, during kissing your lips should be loose and not too stiff. Do it like you would
kiss your love, and dont stress yourself because your lips will be tensed as well. When you
use your tongue, dont force it into her mouth: put it gently in and see how she reacts. You
can play with her tongue or pull yours back and let her put hers inside. Avoid using too much
saliva and slobbering into her mouth.
And of course, make sure you have good breath before kissing. Have some chewing gum
or breathe freshener with you and dont eat onions before your date. Flossing, using mouthshower or a tongue-scraper after washing your teeth can do wonders to help you avoid bad
breath. Ask your dentist for more info on the topic.
I remember the first girl I kissed when I was a teenager. She looked good but she had braces
on her teeth: it was a pretty intensive experience. I was hesitating for a long time before
making my move. I didnt think she wanted to kiss me. But still, I popped her the question:
Do you want to kiss me? She said: I dont know So I took all my courage and went in
for the kiss. We ended up kissing for the whole night of the party. Even when you are not sure
whether to make your move or not, it can only be better than doing nothing. And usually,
these barriers are only in your mind and the girl would be ready for the kiss much earlier.

4.8 The make-out

A good make-out session after kissing can lead straightly to sex. For this you will need a
calm place where you are not disturbed and the knowledge on how to do it well. The
knowledge is here, I will talk about the places in the next chapter.
So lets say you have just kissed. It doesnt really matter whether you are on the first date or
you have already had a few. Take your time, do things slowly without rushing anything
and look deep into her eyes whenever you can. Start by running your fingers through her
hair. Play with it; wrap a few locks around your fingers. You can grab some hair and pull it
softly. Smell her hair, neck and shoulders a bit whether you have done it already or not. Take
deep, long breathes such as when inhaling fresh air. Let your nose and mouth touch these
areas when smelling them.
After some time, start softly kissing her neck and shoulders. Slowly advance up to her face,
till you arrive to the lips. Tease her by taking more time; kiss her forehead, cheeks, nose and
chin before going for the lips again. This makes the girl want your kisses even more. When

63

you have created enough anticipation, kiss passionately for a while: softly slide your
tongue into her mouth, and let it wander around. While kissing her, explore the back of her
neck just below where her hair starts to grow. Thats a very erotic zone for women. They
love when you stroke and caress it. You can push away her hair, and smell the place as well.
It will drive her crazy.
Vary smelling, short kisses on her face and neck, then deep erotic ones on her lips. Dont
forget the ears. Caress them with your fingers, kiss the perimeter area, suck on them, bite
them lightly and if she is comfortable with it, lick inside with your tongue. Not all the women
will like these to be done to their ears though.
Biting her softly at places is a wonderful tool for arousal. Start with her neck and
shoulders first. Make those subtle, very soft bites you are not a cannibal after all. There is an
erotic zone on her arms where the forearms and upper arms meet. You can bite and smell her
there she will love it! Erotic sucking and licking on her neck, arms, shoulders, tits and
thighs will arouse her just as well; just dont slobber.
While doing some of the above, let your hands wander around her back and waist area.
Then touch her belly, stomach, and the sides of her body; caress and massage them gently.
See how she reacts. If she is reluctant take a few steps back then advance slowly again.
Mix the above from time to time. Like a little bit of kissing, then biting etc. while stroking her
with your hands at the mentioned places.
When you think she is ready, slowly move on towards more sexual areas. Touch the sides
of her breasts accidentally or touch her butt a little bit while stroking the waist area. If
she is comfortable with this, escalate your touches: start by lightly caressing her tits and her
ass. Massage them gently through her clothes. If the place allows it, you can start undressing
her or simply pull up her bras a little bit. Draw diminishing circles with your fingers and
tongue on her breasts from the outside to the inside such anticipation will drive her crazy.
Grab her tits rougher and suck on them. You can use licking, sucking and biting to discover
other places of her body as well.
Dont ignore her ass, legs and thighs either. Massage them and let your hands explore these
areas. She might enjoy short pinches on her buttocks. You can even try spanking her ass
once or twice in a soft but sexual way. Whether she likes stronger or lighter touches will vary
from girl to girl. Experiment while making out and see how she responds. If she likes it,
keep doing it. There are certain sexual areas that are the same for all the girls but each of
them will have a specific part of her body, which is more sensitive than the rest. You will
have to figure this out over time by watching her reactions to your touches.

64

When she is comfortable with your playing with her tits, inner thighs and butt, move your
hand towards her mons pubis (pubic area). Massage her pussy through her clothes.
Slowly slide in your fingers to her trousers and massage her clitoris. If she lets you do it,
put your fingers inside her panties and play with her bare pussy. You can also make subtle
references to what you want by putting her hand on your lower belly then slowly sliding it
downwards your crotch. If she grabs your penis, she is very aroused.
During the make-out she may say things like: We shouldnt be doing this. Its too fast for
me. It is the logical part of her brain (social conditioning) kicking in. Unless she is upset,
pulls away or tries to stop you, just ignore these comments. By persistently giving her the
body sensations and arousal thats necessary, her animal instincts will take control and she
will be ready for sex.
If she stops you physically, stop in that moment! Dont force anything and DONT
RAPE HER! She might need some time and be ready by the next occasion that you meet. As
I mentioned before, some girls will require more time than others.
Since most of this wont happen at the restaurant or cafe where you took her, in the next
chapter I will talk about the logistics. And by the way, all the above can be used as a foreplay
with some additions you can read in chapter 6.4.

4.9 Her place or yours

If kissing or make-out happens on your date or in a club, its a good idea to change venues. A
crowded caf might not be the best place for having sex. Just tell her that you are tired sitting
and say: Lets go for a walk! At this point you have many options. If you think she is not
yet ready, do something else like a walk in the park. If she is, there are usually three places to
go: hers, yours and the car. Okay, you can do it in the bushes at the park, but that will rarely
happen. So lets see each in detail:
1, Her flat. This is only a possibility if she lives alone or you know that her parents are not
home for a while. After the date, you can offer to walk her home or take her by car. If you go
by car, park it close to her flat at a place where you can leave it for a while. Start kissing her
goodbye but also work on arousing her. Follow the make-out script from chapter 4.8.
Meanwhile, she might mention having to leave, or having to wake up early in the morning
these are just excuses by her logical brain, which show that she is getting way too aroused. If
this happens, gently but confidently pull her back and keep on arousing her even more.
Dont be aggressive and dont rape her! Her body should be giving signs that she wants you.
If you need to do this process 4 times, do it 4 times. If you are already fingering her pussy but

65

she still doesnt invite you over, youll have to initiate it. Ask her if she wants to invite you
for a coffee or tea. Or simply tell her that you have to use her toilet.
In the house, sit down and talk for a bit. Let her become comfortable with your presence
at her place. Slowly reinitiate kissing and making out. Make sure you have a condom
with you in your wallet so there will be no technical problems. Sex is likely to happen from
this point on. If she doesnt want to give in, dont force it. Give her some time; you have
already made the most important steps and come very close to laying her the next time.
Here is a real life example. I took a girl who later became my girlfriend home on our 3rd
date. This was the second time of me giving her a ride. The first time she invited me over for a
hot cup of green tea, but I had to get up early in the morning and knew that we would have
sex later anyway. It was inevitable. So the second time we are in front of her house, we start
making out in the car. She is damn horny as I can tell from her moans and erotic kisses. At
one point she says that she has to go and reaches back to the backseat for her purse. I catch
her arm, put it on my crotch and continue making out with her. I do the same the second time
she tries to go and tell her that we have plenty of time, no need to hurry. She does this from
time to time while Im fingering her pussy so at one point I decide to make my move and ask:
Do you still have some of that green tea? while smiling innocently. You should have seen
her face. Of course we ended up having sex that night. With a little bit less clothes on us and
halfway to her orgasm she asks: werent you to have some green tea? My response: No
thanks, I dont like green tea. Only fruits.
2, Your flat. If she lives with her parents this is the only solution apart from having sex in
the car. I usually wait a date or two before inviting her over. As a rule of thumb, always kiss
and make-out a little before inviting a girl or going to her place! How early you can
invite her depends on the type of the girl you are dealing with. If you know that she is
probably a virgin, its worthless to rush things. But if you are having fun together, she seems
like a more sexual girl and you have already had that kiss, then go for it.
The easiest way is to tell her that you have a fantastic recipe and you want to cook for her.
If you cant cook, offer to go shopping then cook something together with her help. Or tell her
that you will order pizza and have fun together. If she is reluctant about coming over even
after some persuading from you then she is not yet ready for it. Wait a few more dates and
offer it again at a later time.
Another way to do it is to go on a date then invite her over. Sit to a cafe, which is close to
your flat, or go to the nearby park for a walk. Have something at home, which will serve as
a reason for her to come over. It can be your rare music CDs, DVD collection, photos you
took during your travels, a common interest that you share or anything else. Introduce the

66

idea on your date and offer her to show it later: I just got my hands on that rare U2 album
we talked about. I live around the corner. You can come over and well listen to it together.
Dont be too eager about it because shell sense your insecurity. Be casually confident as
usual.
Set up the mood before she comes. Light a few candles and have some champagne or wine
chilled in the fridge. You can put on some soothing, calming, seductive music in the
background. When she arrives kiss her in the door. Then lead her to the living room and talk a
bit. She needs to get accustomed to the environment and loosen up a little. You can have
some interesting objects to talk about on your living room table. Like a statue from your
latest journey to Africa, a book about sexual positions or multiple male orgasms. Girls are
curious enough to take up the book and look inside. It can serve as a good conversational
starter to direct the talking to any topic you want.
The living room is the best place to start kissing and making out. You can do the foreplay
on your couch then lead her to the bedroom. Have your condoms close to the bed so you
wont have to search the whole apartment for them. Make sure they are not at a visible place;
she could easily freak-out when seeing them before having sex for the first time.
This time as a precautionary tale, let here stand another example from my life. I was very
young and inexperienced. For once, my parents were away and she was the first girl that I
invited over to our house. I decided to cook for her and watch a video together. I havent seen
that film before. The spaghetti was good. The video was damn boring. We met in a club few
days ago where we kissed, and she came over without any hesitation to my first invite. Instead
of leading her straight to my bedroom, we spent 2 hours watching that damn boring film. By
the end of it she was pissed and bored, and left the house quickly. I have never seen her again.
Learn from my mistake: if its obvious that she wants sex, give it to her. If she doesnt want to
be that fast, give her some time. Romance her a little bit. But for Gods sake, dont make her
watch a boring film when you could have so much fun together!
3, The car. I dont really recommend this place for having sex together with a girl for the
first time. Even if you choose to do it there, make sure you have some experience. If you
have never had sex in a car, its not the best idea to start it with a stranger. Its an
uncomfortable place for both of you. I had a good friend who was in a car with the hottest girl
hes ever met, and he couldnt get it up from the stress. Such things happen So dont force
it, unless you see that she is a really adventurous and sexual girl. Those might be turned on by
thought of having sex in the car. And especially avoid this if the girl seems less experienced
or not yet ready for it.

67

4.10 What to have at home, how your flat should look like
You might choose to go to your flat with a girl. Ive already told you how important it is to
have your life together. Your home is a reflection of that. If your place is a mess with playboy
magazines spread over it and you havent washed the dishes in a month, what do you expect
her reaction to be? You live at your home, you go to work from there and you arrive there in
the evening. If its a mess, thats what youll see each and every day. It influences your
overall mood. Your place should be something that is yours and that you like. You are the
one forming it. So dont spare money on it. Even if you happen to live with your parents, you
are still in control of your own room.
Thus, I dont want to stress the basics again. Clean your house every week, wash the dishes
and keep everything in order. Make sure that your bathroom and the toilet is clean as well.
Use air-fresheners. Your house shouldnt look like a museum, so bring some life to it. If you
are not sure about your taste, ask one of your friends or friendgirls who has a good taste in
such things. A little something here or there like a plant, furniture, lava lamp or picture can
spice up the look of everything. There are many books and magazines on the topic, and I
cant go into details here.
So you have your house together now. Everything is neat and clean, and its a place where
you like to live. Make sure that you let in some fresh air and set up the temperature and
humidity well before inviting a woman over.
Here are a few things to have when a girl is coming:
1, Candles and/or incense. You can even buy special scented candles. These are useful tools
for setting up the mood. Girls are romantic creatures and they would rather eat at candlelight
than at the light of a big, harsh lamp. Another good idea is a light-control switch, which you
can use to control the intensity of your lamps.
2, Interesting books. Like a book about sex for example. You can have her sit at the dining
room while leaving to the bathroom for a few minutes, and leave such a book on the table. It
will get her attention for sure and give something to talk about.
3, Interesting or exotic objects. Like stuff from your latest travels in Europe or even the
nearby country. Since most of the girls are curious, she will ask about it and you can tell your
stories and have something to talk about for a while.
4, A complete hi-fi and home video system. It doesnt have to be the best one out there, but
you might want to listen to a CD or watch a DVD that you rent together.
5, A bunch of audio CDs to set up the mood. Putting in some music when she comes or you
sit together on the couch can help a lot for her to loosen up. I recommend chill-out/ambient or
some light rock music because most of the girls like that. Examples are:

68

Electronic:
Buddha Bar series by Ravin and David Visan
Cafe del Mar series by Jose Padilla
Deep Dish
Kruder & Dorfmeister
LTJ Bukem
Paul Oakenfold
Royskopp
Classical:
Barry White
Bruce Springsteen
Enigma
Enya
Frank Sinatra
Madonna
Sade
Sting
Vangelis
Of course whatever you listen to, it should reflect YOUR OWN musical taste! Dont listen
to electronic music if you are into rock, just because I told you. The above are just examples
of general music that should be good for setting up the mood when inviting your girl over.
6, Alcohol and ice-cubes in the fridge. Champagne is the best probably, but even some cheap
wine or some long drink like Baileys is okay. No need to spend thousands of dollars on
champagne, but it should still be something decent. You can also find some nice cocktail
recipes on the net and mix a cocktail for you and her. Like an orgasm cocktail for example.

7, Chocolate, whip cream and strawberries ideal for sexual play.

8, Bath balls and such stuff in the bathroom if you decide to shower or have a bath together.
9, Condoms of course. Dont put them into a visible place but have them ready next to your
bed in the drawer. You can also buy elegant sleeves or cases for your condoms.
10, By the way, I suggest you get a large double bed with many big, soft, fluffy pillows.
Women love those.
Apart from the above, you can come up with your own ideas. I have a friend who has a very
big aquarium in his house with spectacular fish in it. He feeds them together with his girls

69

and they love it. It is also a wonderful invitational reason to say: Have you seen my
aquarium yet? You should come over to see it! Note that the aquarium itself is just an
example. You can develop your own routines and ideas for inviting girls over. Use your
fantasy.
Its also not bad to have some toys at home for sexual play. By that I dont mean a 12 inch
vibrator or your favorite penis pump, but rather something which could color your foreplay or
the intercourse. Like you can buy these little massage machines to attach on your fingers and
use it on her various body parts. Search the net for some interesting tools. There are other
possibilities including silk scarves, soft brushes and feathers these are easier to get but just
as ideal for some fun.

70

PART FIVE

5. Third step: keeping a relationship

5.1 How to keep a relationship
Finding someone to love is damn hard. Keeping that person is even harder. Many of the guys
who are more of the long-term type and spend most of their lives in relationships will say,
that the ART is not to pick-up girls but to KEEP THEM. Its kind of true, actually. Even
when you have had sex with a woman or you have been together for a few weeks, it doesnt
mean that she wont leave you.
Each and every relationship is different with varying problems to overcome. After all, thats
what makes it so exciting and wonderful. There are some common errors however, which
many couples seem to make, resulting usually in a break-up if done for a long enough time. I
will now go through some of these and try to give a few hints and tips on how to avoid
them.
Not caring about the girl. When playing the dating game, you start to build a shield around
yourself. The failures and disappointments you encounter forces you to protect yourself
somehow. By trying to develop your Manliness its easy to fall to the other extremity and
become a jerk. But in a relationship you will have to take your ego back and show a sensitive
and caring side of yours. When you are in love, the rule to give no more than she does
doesnt stand anymore. You should give as much as you can.
Also, if you love her but never tell, she wont know and start to have doubts. It might be
harder at first. You have to drop your shell and let the girl closer to yourself.
Here are a few tools to show that she is important to you:
1, Lovely and caring words, little gestures, letters, text messages, postcards. When you
wake up in the morning or you arrive home caress her face, kiss her and say I love you.
While she is cooking in the kitchen go behind her, hug her and whisper kind words into her
ears. Smile and kiss her, stroke her hand. Watch for tender moments and when the
opportunity comes, tell her how important she is to you. If you leave before she wakes up,
you can leave a short letter with how much you enjoyed the night and how wonderful it was.
Hiding it and having her search for it makes it even more exciting.
Phone her during the day or exchange short text messages. You can write things like Last
night was wonderful. Its still in front of me. Even though Ive left just an hour ago, I miss
you already. Love you: John or Good morning sunlight I see you have risen already. Smile

71

and shine the day. There are many love sms-es on the net freely available. If you are abroad
on a business trip for a week, you can send her a postcard or e-mail each other every day.
Use these tools wisely. If you overdose her with your loving sms-es, it will be boring after
some time. But if you send a special one every week among your daily messages, she will
melt when reading it.
2, You should not only buy her flowers or little presents when she has a birthday. Surprise
her when she the least expects it. Girls also love chocolate or small plush toys of her favorite
animal. Stay unpredictable: give her a gift and do it again in 3 weeks. Then wait a few
months before buying anything. If she asks for something or you know she is dying to have
something, dont give it to her straight away. Wait some time and surprise her with it
when she doesnt expect it.
3, Do something she wouldnt think youd do. If she knows that you cant cook, learn to
cook a simple meal like spaghetti and invite her over. Buy a more expensive champagne or
wine and prepare the mood with candles and light music in the background. Or wash the
dishes and take the breakfast to the bed for her in the morning. She will be amazed.
4, Recall some good memories: like go on a nostalgia date to the place where you got
together.
5, Spend a long weekend with each other or take her on a smaller vacation. Like visiting
the rural areas for a few days or a city in a nearby country. Or you could rent a hotel room
somewhere to leave your usual places for some time. Another idea is to go on a boat cruise or
go for a spin at the seaside.
All the above is damn easy to overdo. In short doses its a cure while in bigger ones its
poison. If you get all your wishes fulfilled it becomes boring after some time. By receiving
a flower every day, you will start to take it for granted and want more. If she sees that you
give her whatever she wants, she will grow on your head, become clamorous and try to
control you. Just because you show a more sensitive side of yours and you care about her,
dont lose your Manliness. Show her that she wont get everything she wants. Learn to say
NO, especially if you see yourself fulfilling all her wishes. Just think that if you were getting
chocolate with every meal, you would start to hate it after a month or two. Its the same
in relationships; its easy to get bored with each other without variety.
Letting yourself totally loose or ignoring yourself is another reason for break-ups. Many
guys gain serious weight, ignore their looks totally, take up annoying customs or lose their
Manliness because they feel so comfortable in their relationships. Its the fastest road to the

72

end. Also, dont become a henpeck and dont let your girlfriend take control. When she
has to choose which film to see or where to sit in a cafe, its all wrong. She will grow on your
head and think that she can do whatever she wants. Apart from the drawbacks of this, you
wont be a challenge anymore, and sooner or later she will get bored enough to leave. Or
whats worse, a real Man could come and fuck her a few times behind your back.
So take care of yourself, mind your clothing and your hairstyle, dont eat too much and
exercise. If she is the one letting herself loose, softly remind her. Take her with you to the
gym or go jogging together. Dont hurt her and tell You are fat! but make her feel that she
has to work for you as well. Show her that you do everything to stay in shape and tell her to
do the same. Be patient at the same time: there are periods when she might have to work too
much or have problems in her personal life. If you love her, show some understanding but
dont let her totally out of control.
Sex is an important part of every relationship and should never be neglected. One of you
having lower or higher sexual drive than the other might also lead to some problems. If she
has higher sexual drive than you, buy sexual toys and use other ways like your tongue or your
fingers to satisfy her. If her sexual drive is too low, you can work on creating the mood and
setting up special occasions to make sex a wonderful experience for the girl. Like having a
romantic dinner together with a massage and an hour of exciting foreplay. You can read more
tips in chapter 6.7 to spice up your sexual life.
Jealousy. Have some but not too much. A little jealousy shows that you care about her, a
lot shows that you are afraid of losing her and you dont behave like a real Man. Being
too jealous can kill a relationship. Give her space. Let both of you live your lives and dont
cling on the girl. Even if you move together everybody needs some space. If you can provide
what she needs in a relationship and keep her on her toes without letting yourself too loose,
she wont leave you for some random guy. If she does, she didnt love you at the first place.
Cheating. In a longer relationship, one of the parties is likely to cheat after some time. If you
do it once, never tell her. Even in the tenderest moments force yourself not to do it. What
people dont know doesnt hurt. Keep it your secret because if you tell, you will probably lose
her. If you are constantly cheating though, you should rethink your relationship. Maybe
its not what you want for now. Maybe its time to move on. Cheating once or twice is human.
Cheating constantly is simply unethical. If you think one woman wont satisfy you alone, read
more about multiple relationships in the next chapter.
Sweeping your problems under the carpet. Without communicating with each other you are
not getting anywhere. Most of your problems can be overcome by talking about them openly
but none of them will be solved by itself. When in love, one of you feeling bad makes the

73

other person feel bad as well. Arguing all the time wont lead anywhere, but sitting down and
being honest can solve many things. So talk openly about your issues whatever they are, and
work together to come with a solution, which is acceptable for both of you.
Too much age difference. If she is 30 and you are 21, or you are 40 and she is 20 you can
have a wonderful no strings attached relationship as long as both of you avoid falling in
love. Peoples biological clocks are always ticking she might think about having kids soon
or the other way round. If you really love each other, such obstacles can be overcome for
some time, but you shouldnt have too big expectations about the future. Just enjoy each
others company and when the time comes, let the other person go.
One of you getting a job abroad or moving away. Even if you love each other a lot, such
long distance relationships usually dont work out. One of the parties will end up cheating. If
you want to keep the relationship, the one about to move has to stay or the other person has to
move as well. One of you will probably have to bring a sacrifice to stay together.
Relationships have three levels: a physical, an emotional and a mental. If there is
disharmony on any of them, things wont work out long term. But harmony wont come from
sitting on your butt the whole day. Both of you will have to work for it. Nothing is perfect
from the beginning: even if you meet a girl who is extraordinary and whom you fall in love
with, you will still have various problems to overcome. Working together with the other
person is necessary to make the relationship enjoyable for both of you. This requires a great
deal of love, patience and will to stay together.
Here is an example from my life on how I met an extraordinary girl. We met with Ana in a
club. You could say it was almost love at first sight for both of us. That night I felt something I
never did before. But being the guy Im, I didnt consider it so seriously at that time. I met her
once a week and she felt like one girl from the rest but still wanted to love me. One day she
told me that she is about to move abroad for 2 years.
The perfect way to wreck a developing relationship. So we have decided to spend more time
together till she goes and we were together almost every night. It was a pretty intense
experience for a relationship that has just started and I discovered feelings Ive never had
before for a girl. Meanwhile she felt that something was missing. And that was my love I
was hesitating. I wasnt sure if I wanted it and if I was ready for something so serious.
Still, she decided not to leave mostly because of me a week before she was to move
abroad. During the next month, we almost break up twice and did it we eventually. She felt
like I didnt love her, that she wasnt that important to me and was afraid that she would be

74

hurt later. After our break up both of us fall into agony. That was the point where I realized
just how much I loved her and cared for her. I had to fight for her and show my love.
So I did. It was totally opposite from what I used to be like with women. Showing his love was
damn hard for a man who built a firm shell around himself and his heart. I was a pretty
selfish person that time which made things even worse. But she was a very unique girl with
full of love, so with her love and patience, and my will we managed to stay together during
the toughest times. After it our love skyrocketed quickly there were still a lot of problems to
overcome, but with each of them passed our relationship became better and better.
The moral of the story is that in a serious relationship you will have to do a 180 change in
your attitude. You cant ignore the girl, you cant afford to meet just once a week and she will
need to feel how much you love her. Without that you are going to lose her.

5.2 Multiple relationships

Finding a girl you are truly happy with is the hardest part of all. As a solution, some guys
choose to have multiple relationships with 2 or more girls at the same time. There are two
ways to do this: either by keeping it a secret or telling your girls about it.
Even if we dont consider morals, keeping it a secret is usually too much of a hassle. When
your girls want to see you and you are meeting another, you will have to come up with
different lies and after some time, those lies are harder and harder to keep track of and easier
to get caught. If that happens, you will lose one or both of the girls involved. Even in a bigger
city, you will have to know where your girls are and where you can go with another one. They
might live close to each other, in which case getting nabbed is easy. Maintaining multiples
this way comes with a lot of stress and takes the joy of the whole thing. Thus, I dont
suggest doing it this way.
What youd better do is to keep it an open secret and let the girls wonder. For example,
when you are on a date with a new girl and kissed her already, you can be open and tell her
that you dont like settling down totally in the first 2 months of a relationship. Say that
its impossible to get to know somebody well in such short periods and to see if you match.
This solution has its downside: some women might not be able to accept it, and you could
lose an extraordinary girl this way.
How you frame your relationship is very important from the beginning. If you want to
keep yourself open to multiple opportunities, you shouldnt be seeing her more than once a
week. Always have at least 4-5 days between your get-togethers. Tell her that you are very

75

busy, and you think the two of you shouldnt rush things for the first few weeks of getting
to know each other. Girls usually get the hint and dont take the relationship that seriously.
If you have more than one girlfriends, you have to hint that they are not alone from the
beginning of getting to know them. The later you mention, the harder it will be. If you start
dating a girl and she thinks at the first month that your relationship is unique, she will leave
you if she gets to know about your other girls later. The other extremity to avoid is being too
open and obvious. Telling her directly that she is not alone is the worst thing you could do.
But by re-framing it and throwing small hints she will get what you mean.
These include meeting her less often, letting her know that you are more open to sex
without attachments, telling her that you dont like to settle down for the first few weeks
and you are busy. Say that you need time to get to know somebody and open up. If you pour
your views on her slowly, there is a chance that she will accept this kind of relationship even
if she was totally against the concept before. Still, if you want to keep her, she will have to
love you for something. Thats either your personality or very, very good sex.
There is a wonderful story you can tell on one of the first few dates or at a critical moment.
The story of the stallion. It can be a life saver at times. Tell her in a very seductive way
while looking deep into her eyes and keeping long silences between the sentences. It goes
like this:
Have you ever heard about the story of the stallion, the wild horse?
The wild horse is a very unique creature. The meaning of his life is endless freedom. When the
wild horse is free, he flies. He flies through the fields without problems, living in the moment
like there is no tomorrow. If the wild horse is captured with force, he becomes sorrow and
loses his sense of life. He is not free anymore and loses everything he has ever had.
But the wild horse has a little friend. A little friend, who he once met on the field a while
ago. She never forced him to anything. She was the one to appear from time to time out of the
blue and disappear the same way. But when she rode the wild horse, he felt incredibly happy.
He was gliding through the field. These times he flew higher, higher than he could ever
imagine. And after such wonderful moments spent together, the little friend would get off the
wild horse, stroke his head and leave. Few months went by and the wild horse waited more
and more eagerly for these times to come.
His little friend lived at the edge of the forest. One evening, she was home after a wonderful
ride together. Suddenly, she heard noises from the bushes. She went out to see where these
noises came from, and guess who was standing there in front of the house? Yes. The wild

76

horse in his glory. Since then, they have always stayed together. The little friend never forced
doing anything against the wild horses will. He went wherever and whenever he wanted and
stayed free. Still, the horse was always faithful for his little friend, and he would have never
left her. He got something from the little girl he could have never gotten from anybody else.
And the wild horse knew this very, very well
There is another frame you can use. The frame of the fallible man, the seducer who cant
resist the charms of women. It has to be delivered in a playful, but honest way. Like the
confession of something, which is lying heavy on you, a weak side of yours that you cant
help. Try to get her sympathy. Tell that you have tried to change, but no matter what you do,
its in your veins. Your love is endless, and you cant stop yourself from giving it to all those
lonely women out there. She will have to accept you this way. Make sure that you stay
consistent with this frame if you use it. And always make her feel that she is really unique
in your eyes and you love her. Its just that you cant stand to love other girls as well.
There is another type of multiples: fuck-buddies. Girls who love sex and who are open to
a no strings attached relationship. You can call them anytime to have some fun. They can
live in other cities if you travel a lot. With these girls, sex has to be very good. If you have a
one-night stand and both of you enjoy it, you can ask the girl to see each other later or to meet
occasionally and repeat it. If it was the same enjoyable experience for her, she might agree.
Multiples have both positive and negative sides. You will have a girl for everything and you
will love each of them for different reasons. One of them is wonderful in bed, the other shares
your view of the world while the third cooks the best spaghetti and loves you a lot. Some
guys do this as a lifestyle. These girls bring a lot of variety and fun, while being able to
keep them shows that you have mad skills with women.
There is a negative side to it however: you will have split your energy into more than one
girl. They will take up a lot of your time, and you wont be able to get too close or intimate
with any of them. It is also a sign that you are not really satisfied with any of your
girlfriends, otherwise you wouldnt be keeping the others. Having to split yourself into 3 parts
for 3 girls and share all their worries might distract you and scatter your attention. When
dating with new and new women and trying to put them into your harem you might miss
someone unique, with who you could have a wonderful relationship alone. You also
attach these girls to yourself and it will be harder for them to find an ideal partner, unless you
let them mess around with other guys, which I dont recommend.
So take the above into account and decide whether multiple relationships is what you want
or not. After trying it yourself you will probably be able to form a better opinion.

77

5.3 The law of attraction: similarities attract similarities

People including you usually attract a certain type of women depending on their
personality and goals in life. Can you imagine an abstract mathematician who spends half
of his life with his numbers getting together with a superficial party girl? Not likely. Each
Jack will get his Jill. If you are the guitarist of a heavy metal band, you will have girls who
live the heavy metal lifestyle. If you are Woody Allen, you will attract crazy chicks. And if
you are a player, you will mostly lay party girls and sluts.
As I said, relationships have 3 levels: a physical, an emotional and a mental level. Ideally,
both partners are close to each other on all the three. That means good sex, the feeling of love
and also being able to have nice conversations together. If one of these levels is missing, you
are not likely to have a long and successful relationship. It is a sign that you dont match and
as such, it shouldnt be forced.
There is nothing you cant reach if you really want it. Its possible for even the biggest
computer nerd to become a player, but it means a total change in his personality. There
is a saying, which goes: Fake it, till you make it. If you are a geek but you start going out to
clubs, adopting the customs of successful guys, dressing and behaving like them, doing their
body language, then with time it will not only be a mask, but rather an inseparable part of
your own personality. Your life will be less and less about computers till you spend most of
your days in clubs or with your girls. Ive seen many guys who have never even kissed go
through a 180 change and start to have incredible success with women.
Nevertheless, before you set a new goal, answer the question: is that what you really want?
Your goals show what kind of person you are. Just look at how the women you want live.
If you spend 8 hours a day applying make-up and fixing your looks, you wont have too much
time for your personality. Most of the hottest girls including models or actresses are very
SHALLOW beauty is the purpose of their lives. The more they are admired for their looks,
the more admiration they need to be sure about themselves. They become very INSECURE
on the inside. Some of them cant handle the pressure that success puts on them and start
taking alcohol, drugs or other deadly substances.
I know a guy who aimed to be a star and acts like one. He moved to Los Angeles, goes to the
trendiest clubs, dresses and behaves like a true celebrity. With this attitude, no wonder he has
sex with the hottest girls and he has been with hundreds of them. Still he is heavily
depressed and dissatisfied with his life. He feels he constantly has to prove to himself and
his company by getting the hottest women. When he lays one of them, she soon loses her
value in his eyes and he goes on to get new trophies. He is not capable of having a healthy
relationship with a girl. Such validation issues come from his insecurity no wonder he

78

attracts girls who have the same problems; just like those supermodels mentioned above.
Its scary how they match.
So, why do you want to lay a bunch of girls? Because your friends will look up to you,
because society expects its male members to be successful seducers or because you think it
will bring happiness into your life? Answer this question now to yourself. The above guy
used to be really bad with women. But he wanted more and changed himself for good, to be
successful. Is that what he wanted? Yes. Is he happy now? No. Why not?
A friend of mine has been married once. He is a very calm and relaxed guy, a true gentleman
who has always treated women well. He has never thought he could beat a girl until he
ended up beating his ex-wife a few times. He didnt know why it happened, till he found out
that from her early childhood, her father, and then all her boyfriends were beating the poor
girl. She got so used to it that she expected it. If you dont have respect towards yourself,
people wont respect you. So be careful what kind of girls you choose because they might
affect your behavior and bring out a side of yours that you dont want.
The biggest players are the biggest misogynists. Another dude I know is one of them. He
dates only models and actresses. But the more girls he lays the less respect he has for them.
Its a vicious circle: with his style he successfully attracts drug addicts and the most wasted
girls who have serious self-validation problems. Thus he has less and less respect for women
and judges all of them from a small group. By seeing a certain type of people every day its
easy to come to the conclusion that most of the people are like that. I dont think this guy
will ever be in a happy relationship. Its a sad thing.
Having a new girl each day or each week will be exciting for the first few months. Then
you will experience a certain emptiness, depression and feel burnt out. It becomes a
routine and a new girl will be nothing more than another trophy. This doesnt bring too much
happiness. Switching girls like trousers is also a sign of insecurity. If somebody cant spend a
week in a relationship he has serious problems that he is trying to hide this way. By bragging
about his success and trophies he just shows his inner insecurities.
Sex is an exciting thing but its not enough on its own. We are human beings and we need
emotions and thoughts to be fulfilled. Having sex with a woman that you love is a
wonderful experience much more rewarding than doing it with 10 other girls with no
feelings for them. On short term, your fuck-buddies can be enough. After coming out from a
relationship that lasted for years you might want to loosen up and taste variety. The same
stands if you are just getting to know the other sex and you want to live a bit before
committing yourself to something longer. If you take my words though, I wouldnt suggest
you consider being a player as a life goal. Its something to try out. Its something to do on

79

short term. But being unable to live in a healthy relationship shows your inner
weaknesses and immaturity.
Dont get me wrong; I did not present all the above to discourage you. My goal was to give
you a WIDER VIEW of how things are. To help you bring YOUR OWN DECISION. There
is no need to live like a priest or think about settling down whenever you get into a
relationship with a girl. You dont have to marry each other after the first month. And if
things are not working well, you should definitely move on.
But make sure to overview your motivation before committing yourself to a certain goal.
Think twice before changing yourself in a direction, which you might regret later. Ask
yourself: what do I want in my life? Think a bit: if you got that thing right now, would it make
you happy? Look at the way the women you want live. Do you want such a person in your
life? Would you really want a relationship with someone like that?
And lastly, but most importantly: learn to value what you have. Otherwise, you will never
be happy. Goals and aims are essential because they motivate and move you forward. But if
you just focus on those without being able to enjoy yourself, you will never appreciate what
youve reached already.

5.4 Few words about being happy in a relationship and finding The One
When it comes to the topic of finding The One or being in a happy relationship for a
longer time, I pretty much think in cycles and periods. Both fortunately and unfortunately,
people change through the years. The same is true for you and your future partner. During a
certain period of your life you might find love in a person. But that doesnt necessarily mean
you will think the same way in 10 years.
Many people are pretty skeptical about soul-mates. I consider this term my own way: I
believe that most of us have multiple soul-mates. What is a soul-mate after all? Its
someone you love and who makes you complete for a period of time. Ive seen many things
happen in real life. Ive seen couples who have spent 20 years together separate and go their
own different ways. I have seen people who were first for each other but they still got married
and spent the rest of their lives with their partner while being happy. Each and every love
is different. Each of your relationships will have its unique characteristics - you wont
experience the same love with two different girls.
In a dissatisfying relationship, one of you is a burden for the other. Like if you were a
luftballoon trying to fly while the other person is constantly pulling you down. Or the other

80

way round it doesnt really matter. While in a satisfying relationship you could call that
a soul-mate relationship both partners are complete beings, unique balloons on their
own. And together, by joining each other, they can fly much higher.
What can you do to find someone to love and to love you? Two things: develop yourself
and wait patiently. There is no unique recipe that I could give you; some people find their
love in a year while others search for many. But when that special someone comes into your
life, YOU SHOULD BE READY for her. And thats the main reason why I wrote this
book. You can use the knowledge written here to MAKE YOURSELF READY.
There are many teenage movies with an ugly girl wearing glasses and a handsome boy. The
handsome boy, the king of the school, bets with his friends that he can transform the ugly girl
into a princess and make her win the graduation ball. In the end of the film, the girl goes
through a total change: she becomes a beautiful woman. Of course she had the proper
makings from the beginning, but it was hidden behind the mask of being unable to take care
of her looks. Such girls with time can find their sexuality and develop themselves to become
an attractive woman.
Imagine meeting that girl when she was ugly. Would you approach her? No way. Would you
approach her after the change? Of course, you would even go out with her! The same stands
for you. You have to improve not only your looks, but which is more important, your
personality just like that girl in the movie. Yes, the most important of all are your inner
world and values. If you dont know how to treat a woman, if you dont care of your looks, if
you are too shy to approach her, if she loses interest because you cant handle her or if you
have a personality that people find hard to tolerate will she notice you? Will she go out with
you?
Think a bit. If THE ONE came right now, would you be ready for her? Would you pull
her down and be a weight or would you complete her and fly together? Do you think she
would recognize you from the rest of the crowd? Do you think if you went out a few times she
would want to have a relationship with you? Do you think if you were in a relationship, it
would be a rewarding experience both for you and her? Ask yourself these questions first.
I didnt tell the above to make you disappointed or worry whether you are good enough. It is
not to strengthen your insecurities, just to open your eyes a little bit: if you sit on your ass
the whole day and expect wonders or an ideal girl to fall into your lap it just wont happen.
What you CAN do is to be constantly improving and working on yourself to become a
better person. If you have the will and the purpose to change, people will sense it in you.
Just GIVE YOURSELF THE CHANCE.

81

Back to the topic of relationships, its no use staying lonely till you find your soul-mate.
You can learn a lot from relationships, which havent worked out the way you wanted. It
shows what mistakes to avoid in the future to become more prepared for what you are
waiting. There are no wasted or useless relationships; each of them is a very good learning
experience. I would even say that there are no wasted marriages thats another thing to make
you ready and to become a better person.
If you take my advice, focus on the moment and enjoy your life. You shouldnt be worrying
too much about the future and whether your ideal partner will come tomorrow or not. There is
plenty of time for that. When you get into a relationship with a girl, your first thought
shouldnt be about marrying her. Nor about leaving her the next day. Have fun together
and see what comes out from it. Its a wonderful chance to learn something new and
develop yourself. If things dont work out, both of you will see it and move on soon.
When your ideal partner comes, you will have to recognize and value her. You will need
to learn to do things for your happiness a relationship always requires effort from both of
the partners. If none of you is willing to put in the work necessary, it wont work out. How
will you recognize her? Only you will know that by paying attention. By respecting the other
person and being able to see her better side.
And lastly, if a relationship goes wrong, dont only view the last few months of it. I see
many people spend years together in harmony, then suddenly something goes wrong and they
lose their faith totally. They think those years that passed by were a useless waste of time
spent with the wrong person, and tend to forget about the other 90% that they enjoyed. Try to
avoid this mistake if you can. Nothing is wasted. Everything has its purpose, just learn to
recognize it.

82

PART SIX

6. Sex
6.1 If you have problems during sex (most men do)
One of my girlfriends said once that out of everything in a relationship, sexs importance
is at least 70%. Im not sure, but it must be above 50%. Sex is an important part of the whole
picture, without it there would be no difference in relationships between men and women.
Both for males and females, sexual frustration is a source of problems and vica versa. More
than half of the women in the world have never had an orgasm in their lives. Men
experience mainly 3 issues: they either cant get it up, cant get off, or they do get off but too
early. These problems are mostly of psychological origin, although getting off to early
might be related to weak PC muscles. Doing some easy exercises could solve that see more
in the next chapter. But now lets go through all the possible problems in detail.
Most men will have a psychological block in their brain and wont be able to get it up when
losing their virginity and having sex for the first time in their lives. The solution in such a
situation is to let go of anxiety, and try to relax. Of course its not that easy, but a patient
partner can help a lot. I also know a few guys who have lost their virginity a while ago, but
still have problems when first having sex with a new woman. If you have such problems,
know that you are not alone. Possible advice is to free yourself from stress and concentrate on
the moment. Enjoy the foreplay and every minute you spend with the girl you are about to
have sex with. Dont force yourself into a race, dont be pressured that you have to satisfy the
woman in front of you or come up to her level. There is no need to rush things, take your time
because you have plenty of it. Dont be frustrated, just focus on the feelings you receive from
foreplay and the stimulation if you do so, its going to be OK.
Some guys have a problem enjoying sex, getting off or even keeping it up during an
intercourse. They find it hard to focus on the moment. Actually, its the same when you are
in the toilet and you cant piss because of another guy standing next to you. The solution
is to look at the advertisements above the toilet bowl, or if there is no such thing, then the
cracks and gaps between the tiles on the wall. You will soon find yourself being able to piss
when you can let go of the stress. The same stands when having sex. Dont be pressured to
satisfy the woman, tell her to be understanding, be frank to her and dont be afraid to ask her
help. She will have usually gone off already when you are still trying so she should have the
patience. Focus on the moment, focus on the enjoyment you get from penetrating her, or
even think about your favorite porn movie while having sex. Just dont make the latter a
habit, OK? Maybe using a thinner condom can help. Experiment, loosen up, stop stressing
yourself so much and everything will be all right.

83

Lastly, the most common problem among men is getting off too early. Its not a shame, so
dont be ashamed. Its something you can work on and learn to avoid. Practice doing kegel
exercises so your PC muscle becomes stronger its necessary if you have such issues (even
if you dont, it can help a lot to make sex better and keep your health). When you feel like
you are about to get off, slow down, think about something which turns you off (like a
bowl of ice or whatever just imagine the picture in your head, see the details vividly
and try to feel the cold of the ice) but dont focus on your penis and the sensations. You
can pull it out a little bit and tell your partner to change positions. Grasping and squeezing
your dick or pulling down your testicles softly might help as well do it carefully though.
While relaxing, you can keep her aroused with your fingers or tongue. You might also
prepare some cold water in a small bowl and try cooling your penis with it when getting
close to the point of no return. There is a temporary solution till you learn to get off slower:
if your partner can control her orgasms a little, arouse her as much as you can with your
tongue and fingers, and only put your member into her when she is about to get off. This
way both of you will orgasm at the same time. As always, never give up, with practice and
persistence you will achieve what you want.
All the above is just my advice. It can work for some people, and for others it wont. If you
are uncertain about yourself, talk to an expert or sexual therapist. What I was trying to
say though, is that you dont always have to rely on other people, but rather take the time and
energy to solve your problems on your own. There are many guys who have encountered such
issues and got over it without professional help. Still, if its making your life a mess and
driving you crazy, consult with an expert. Onto the kegels.

6.2 Do your kegels, have her do hers

There is a muscle called the pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle from now on) located
down at your crotch, just above your perineum. It goes from behind your penis, to above
your perineum and ends below your rectum. Its used when pissing or moving your penis up
and down. If you are not sure about its place, stop for a few seconds when pissing. The
muscle you used just now to stop the flow is your PC muscle. Training it is much more
important than training your biceps. A healthy PC muscle helps you last much longer
(avoiding premature ejaculation), helps you become multi-orgasmic (see the next chapter for
more) and prevents diseases involving your prostate and impotence.
Im sure the name kegel sounds familiar to you. Arnold H. Kegel was the first American
gynecologist to come up with exercises for women (called the kegel exercises) to strengthen
their genital muscles. Doing kegels helps them to have bigger orgasms, to apply more
pressure on your penis during sex and makes labor easier. It also prevents many gynec

84

problems. So make sure your girlfriend does her kegels as well. It will help both of you to
make sex even better.
The exercises mentioned below are a variation of the original kegel exercises. You should
practice these on a daily basis if possible. There are more complicated and more advanced
exercises, look them up on the net or a book dealing with the topic if you want.
1, As a warm up exercise, tense your PC muscle then let it loose. Repeat this 30 times in a
row. Do 3 series with 30 tenses and loosenings in each.
2, Do as many tenses and loosenings in a row as possible. Start with 30 and increase the
number daily. Doing 2-300 tenses a day is OK.
3, Tense your PC muscle and hold it for a few seconds. Start by 10 seconds for example.
Increase this number every day. Reaching one and a half minute would be a realistic goal.
You can do 3 or more series of this.
4, Tense your PC muscle and hold it for 5 seconds. Let it loose then hold it again for 10
seconds. Do it for 15 seconds, 20 seconds then start lowering the number: 15 seconds, 10
seconds, 5 seconds. Do this in a row. Repeat the exercise for 3 times keeping a little time
between each series.
The above exercises will bring visible results even in a month if you do it daily. You can do
them while driving or traveling to work/school. Dont be afraid when you wake up with a
huge erection in the mornings. Its the sign of a healthy and strong PC muscle!
Note: Do these exercises ONLY AT YOUR OWN RISK. Consult with your doctor or physician
before doing them. Only do them if you are healthy and you dont have any urological
problems.

6.3 Become a multi-orgasmic man

In the 60s, when scientists first announced that women could orgasm, and not just once but
multiple times in a row, it led to great controversy. Now its common knowledge and
womens magazines like Cosmopolitan are constantly talking about it. This leads to the
question: is the same possible for men as well? Personally, I easily become jealous when I
read an article or talk to a woman about the pleasure she has while having sex. All we have is
a little bang and thats it? You become wasted quickly after getting off.
Well my friends, I have good news for those willing to experiment: male multiple orgasms
ARE POSSIBLE. The bad news is that learning them will require a lot of work and
patience. When a woman orgasms, it happens inside her head. When you do, it happens

85

mostly locally, down there. If you want to have multiple pleasures, you will have to separate
the reflex in the spinal cord which causes ejaculation from the stimulation in your brain,
which will cause the actual orgasm itself. Learning to be a multi-orgasmic man requires much
more knowledge and exercise. Its over of the purpose of this book. But if you are interested,
Ill try to guide you and give a few hints.
You can achieve success in 2 ways. The first is to learn to control your PC muscle and
avoid ejaculation by contracting it properly during sex. The problem is that you will still have
some semen coming out to your urinary bladder, which you will pee out later. You can
achieve multiple orgasms this way, but its not an elegant way and it will cause the loss of
sexual energy just like a normal orgasm does. If you are interested in this, I suggest you make
a search on the Internet for male multiple orgasms.
The second way is to learn to control your sexual energy. As crazy as it sounds. This will
lead to orgasms without ejaculating and learning to experience whole-body orgasms, just
like women do. Sounds good, huh? There are two eastern schools, which will teach this to
you: Tantric sex from India, and Taoist sex from China. I recommend the Taoist way,
because its easy and free from any unnecessary spicing. Chinese are really practical and
down-to-earth people. Think Bruce Lee films. Think acupuncture.
So if you choose Taoist sex, there is a great book, which explains it all in detail called The
Multi-Orgasmic Man. It was written by a Chinese master called Mantak Chia and a
western psychologist called Douglas Abrams in a very understandable way. A book
every man should have and read. And no, Im not in any way associated with the authors or
trying to sell the book. Its just my advice you either take it or not.

6.4 Foreplay, how to do it properly

While a man will get turned on in a few seconds, for women its a process. They are like a
stove, which needs to be heated up. Seeing your naked body is not enough they want to
touch you, smell you, feel you and hear you as well. The more time you spend with
foreplay, the more she will want you and the bigger orgasm she will have. Many guys
neglect this but a good lover never does.
When having sex for the first time with a girl, proper foreplay is necessary. If things are
happening too fast, she might put up some resistance and dont let you put your member
in. But if you can drive her crazy and make her body shake in anticipation, she will beg
you to do her. Even in a relationship, long foreplays will contribute to your sexual life and
prevent it from becoming boring.

86

Ive already given a script for making out in chapter 4.8; you can use it for foreplay as well.
Here are a few more tips to spice things up:
1, Each and every woman is different. Although they have common parts on their bodies,
which are equally sensitive for all of them, there are special points and ways of touching
for every girl, which turn her on a lot. Like scratching and caressing her back, grabbing,
pinching or softly spanking her ass, etc. You can give her extreme pleasure by finding these
areas. It requires time so have patience and experiment. If you find them on your own without
asking her, she will enjoy it a lot more. You will know from her reaction when you are onto
something.
2, When having sex with a woman for the first time, always keep the phases of foreplay.
If she is not that aroused yet, she wont be comfortable with your fingering her pussy and
might even freak out from the thought of having sex. But if you take one step at a time, she
will have an excuse. Even when you are fingering her, shell think: What if he does this, we
are not having sex, Im not a slut. If she founds herself with your penis inside later, she will
backwards rationalize the whole thing: I couldnt have done anything, I was swept away
by my feelings and the moment, it just happened, I had no choice! So start by kissing and
caressing her on the head, then switch to lower parts of the body and only play with her pussy
when she is getting aroused a lot. This leads to another tool
3, Anticipation. If you get something whenever you want it, its not that special. But when
you get something you have waited with anticipation thats an incredible experience.
Women require that the more sexual areas including their breasts, ass, and pussy are touched
during foreplay. The more you wait before giving it to them, the more eagerly will they want
you to touch these places. Kiss her shoulders, stomach, her hands and thighs. Caress and bite
her sexually. But neglect the important areas spectacularly. When you touch them once, it
will have an amplified effect on her. You can tease her even more: before touching her
breasts for example, slide your hands down her sides while touching the perimeter of her
breasts with your fingers. Or when you are about to put your penis in, play with her. Caress
her chest, tittie fuck her and grind your dick to her bare pussy.
4, Stimulate all her senses. Light candles, if she likes it use incense or some aroma oil, put
on some light music in the background. Touch her in different ways, run your fingers over
her body, smell her, kiss her, bite her, grab her, lick her, suck her and caress her.
5, Vary soft and aggressive touches. Kiss her arms gently then bite her. Caress her ass then
grab it harder and massage it. She is not made of sugar, so dont be afraid to touch her a little
rougher at times. Dont be too aggressive, stop if she doesnt enjoy it anymore.
6, Dont neglect any of her body parts. Many men will only focus on her breasts, ass and
pussy. A good lover touches her arms, legs, massages her feet, gives kisses on her legs and
thighs and discovers long forgotten places of her body.
7, Use your fingers. For many girls, direct stimulation of the clitoris is necessary. Wash your
hands in advance, cut your nails short and clean the dirt under them. Gently finger her pussy

87

and see how she reacts. Softly crumble her clit between your fingers. Slide your fingers
inside: first one then two at the same time. Let them wander around and discover the inner
areas. If her pussy is dripping she is getting aroused.
8, When you have been together a few times already, try talking dirty to her. Many women
are turned on by it. Drop a few lines and see how she reacts. If she does it as well its a sign
that she is loving it. Whisper to her ears how sexy she is. Tell her how much she is turning
you on. Tell her how much you want to fuck her and penetrate her. Tell her you will fuck the
hell out of her. But dont call her a slut or a whore, most women hate that.
9, Oral sex should never be ignored in a relationship. Be careful when doing it with
strangers though, oral herpes can be spread this way and there is no tool for prevention. But
with a trustworthy partner, go oral. Even if she doesnt like fellatio, if you do it, she will be
more likely to reciprocate. And never forget, as they say on the streets: If a girl is sucking
your dick and you're not even eating the pussy, and she ain't complaining, don't brag to your
boys and laugh cause you think you're the man. Another nigga is handlin' what you're scared
to do. Ha! Ha! Amen brother.
10, Find her G-Spot and try to give her an orgasm during foreplay. She will love you if
you can do or just drive her crazy with it. Its also a wonderful tool for virgins. Ill tell you
more in chapter 6.6. Stay tuned.
11, Look deep into her eyes when having sex. Your eyes should say I havent had sex in 10
years and Im going to fuck you like no one before. Seeing the wild desire and excitement in
your eyes will amplify her enjoyment.
12, Dont be afraid to use some toys for foreplay. With girls you have never had sex before,
do the basics: strawberries, whip cream or chocolate. Later you can try vibrators, oils,
handcuffs, or that little thing you can attach on your fingers and it vibrates.
By the way, how do you know when she is ready for sex? Common signs are deep
breathing, moaning, grinding her hips to yours, grabbing your crotch or massaging your
penis, undressing herself or you, telling how much she wants you or how turned on she
is. If she doesnt start taking her/your clothes off after some time, you have to do it yourself.
Start with her top or shirt first. Continue with her bras, pants and her panties in the end. When
undressing yourself, always take your socks off before sex. Girls have this weird thing, and if
you ask them, 90% will get turned off if a man tries to have sex with them with his socks on. I
guess they think its a sign of untidiness.
Oh, and know how to unlock bras. There are different kinds and you should be able to do
something with each. Practice on your friendgirls, moms or whoevers bra. Buy one yourself
if you cant find any. If shit happens and you cant undo them during foreplay, ask the girl.
Dont make a fuss out of it, OK? It has happened to all of us, thats why its best to practice
and know how to do it.

88

Finally, dont rush things. Take your time to turn her on as much as you can. If you
encounter any resistance take a few steps back and work more on arousing her. Never force
anything, if she is saying stop and pushing you away physically, STOP. Dont rape her!

6.5 STDs and birth prevention

When having sex with multiple women or just one girl, sexually transmitted diseases and
birth prevention become an issue you cant neglect. If you are switching partners, the only
possible solution is to use condoms. You should always have a few of them in the glove
compartment of your car or your wallet. There are also stylish condom cases you can buy. I
know that condoms are damn annoying to wear but its necessary. When having sex you
always take a risk. There are even STDs from which condoms wont protect you. But since
they do it well in most cases, you shouldnt be running the risk of getting infected and
definitely use them.
The best way when changing partners frequently is to set up a strict rule and keep yourself
to it. Thats no sex without condoms as though as it sounds. Even if you have a woman
literally begging you to put it in after 4 hours of foreplay, you should restrain yourself from it.
Your health is more important than that and you can still have sex later. So respect both
yourself and your partner, and use condoms.
When you are in a stable relationship, you can consider other forms of birth prevention.
There are many, the most effective of them are pills and the injection. Pills are wonderful
as long as she doesnt forget to take them, no matter whether she does it intentionally or
not. You can have her put a reminder in her cell phone, but even that wont guarantee her
taking it. So only use it with a partner that you trust. Some older and even some young
women might try to trick you into having a kid this way, so always be careful. The only thing
to rely on is your intuition. If there is a slight possibility that she cant be trusted, dont let
her go on the pills. I know that temptation is hard to resist, but plus 2 months on the
condom is better than plus 20 years of children maintenance. Even if it happens
accidentally some women might choose the kid instead of abortion. And you should know
that the court will ALWAYS support the mother, no matter what evidence you have and
whether she tricked you into or not. You can make this mistake only once and have to pay it
for years. So be careful.
The injection shot lasts for 3 months but it wrecks the girls hormonal system up totally,
so youd better not force it if you care about her. Many women who are on the pill or the
shot experience a decrease in their sexual drive but a few of them might find it increasing.
Generally, they are not influenced by it that much, but take it into account if your girl has a

89

low sex drive or problem orgasming. There are also other ways of birth control, being less
effective or more uncomfortable. Look them up on the net or ask your physician about the
topic. And never consider pulling it out before you go off even the pre-ejaculate that is on
the top of your penis can get her pregnant. If there is a slight change of something doing it,
that solution should be ignored.
Lastly, before she goes on the pills or the shot, get both yourself and her tested. You dont
want to pass anything to each other. And if you are going bareback with a girl while having
sex with others, you should tell it to her. Just think how angry you would be to get
something from your partner who got it from an unknown guy she cheated with.

6.6 How to find a womans G-Spot and give her incredible orgasms
Such as men can experience 2 different kind of orgasms (prostate orgasm and penis
orgasm) women can have clitoris and G-Spot orgasms as well. Even both at the same time.
In this chapter, you will learn how to find and stimulate a girls G-Spot properly. If she
has never had a G-Spot orgasm before, she will love you for it. If shes had one already, she
will love you because you can give it to her. You can use this technique during foreplay or
even after sex if she is a nympho and wants more. If she is still a virgin, you can try it on
her. Providing that you succeed, she will be the one initiating sex.
If you are dealing with a woman who has never had an orgasm in her life, she will need
to solve that first. The problems are probably inside her head. Be an understanding partner,
try anything you can think of, and if she has had this issue for a long time, make her see an
expert. Talk openly and freely about your difficulties; sweeping them under the carpet wont
do any good. She should have a vibrator at home and try masturbating and discovering her
body on her own. Talking to her girlfriends might also help maybe they can give her some
good advice.
You should not only be familiar with yours, but with a womans body as well. If you dont
know where the main sexual organs are located EXACTLY, look them up in an anatomy
book. Find the mons pubis, the urines and her clit. Do it NOW. The G-Spot is the most
visible if she is already aroused. It should be slightly inside her vagina located 1,5-2,5
inches from the entrance on the upper wall (provided she is lying on her back). If you
imagine a clock on her pussy with the clitoris at 12, it should be somewhere between 11 and 1
oclock.
To begin, prepare her with a long foreplay. Arrive to her puss and start licking it, or at least
fingering her clitoris if you dont want to go oral yet. Have your girl lay on her back with

90

her knees bent and feet flat on the bed. Put a small pillow under her buttocks. You
should be facing her cunt. Wash your fingers and cut your nails before doing this.
Otherwise it might hurt or she could get a disease.
As she is lying there, take two of your fingers on one of your hands: your index finger and
your middle finger. Slide them into her pussy with your palm facing upwards. If she is
too tight, slide one finger at a time then the other as she stretches. Wander around with your
fingers and apply some light rubbing and pressure on the upper wall of the vagina. You
can move them softly in and out or slide them side to side while caressing the G-Spot. If you
cant find it at first, circle with your fingers in her pussy and watch her reaction. Sudden
moans will show that you are on the right track. When the girl is aroused her G-Spot will
swell to the size of a quarter or even larger, which makes it easier to find.
To amplify her pleasure, you can lick on her clit (or rub it with your thumb) while still
stimulating her vagina with your fingers. If you want to arouse her even more, take your free
hand and slowly apply some soft, inward pressure on her pubic bone area with the palm
of your hand. So you should be fingering her G-Spot, while licking her clitoris and pressing
inside with your palms occasionally. Repeat this till she orgasms.
Some women might feel the need to urinate when the G-Spot is stimulated at first. It
should soon disappear and turn into the feeling of pleasure. Still, your partner may need to
empty her bladder before sex. During the process, dont be afraid to ask her how she feels.
If something hurts, stop doing it. Neither you nor your girl should be pressured to reach
orgasm. Make sure that she is totally loosened up, lying there with focusing only on her
feelings and sensations. You should be enjoying it as well, and not doing it like a chore.
She will get even more turned on if she sees the excitement and lust in your eyes.
Lastly, dont be disappointed if things dont work out for the first time. The G-Spot is
damn hard to find even for an experienced lover. Each girl is different and you might need
some time to get the technique down. Experiment and it is going to work sooner or later.

6.7 Sexual play, sexual games (how to bring some variety into your sexual life)
Sex is an important part of every male-female relationship. You should always prevent it
from becoming a routine. Doing so can contribute a lot to your staying together. Here are a
few ideas and tips on how to spice up your sexual life and bring in some variety. Even if you
are with a new partner, you can try out some of these.

91

As I already mentioned, men focus primary on their vision and on what they see. Usually,
the sight of a beautiful lady is enough for arousing us. In the case of women, other senses
are involved as well. Seeing you is only part of this, she also wants to touch you, hear you,
and smell you. So if you want to give her extreme pleasure, stimulate all of her senses.
For example, surprise her by setting up a special ambience. Turn off lighting, put on some
nice romantic music and light a few candles in the bedroom. Use an incense burner if you like
the smell of it. Have some ice-cubes, strawberries, whip-cream and chocolate in the fridge.
When she arrives, tell her to close her eyes and lead her to the bedroom. She will be amazed.
Before having sex you can take a bath together. Prepare it yourself: use some special
bathing oil or foam, which she likes. Massage her shoulders, her neck, her back and her legs.
Whisper gentle, loving words into her ears and give her soft kisses on the neck.
When you are finished with the tender pampering, switch to a rougher style. Push her on the
bed and start kissing her passionately. Bite her neck. Grasp her ass gently but confidently, and
massage it. Alternate between gentleness and aggressiveness. Use a silk-scarf to blindfold
her. She will love that. While she is blindfolded you can play with the ice-cubes, chocolate,
whip-cream and strawberries. Keep stimulating all of her senses. You can even tie her to
the bed while having sex. She will enjoy the feeling of helplessness that she gets from it.
There is a technique I love to use. Take two glasses of water: one with ice-cubes and one
with hot water. Have her lay on the bed and close her eyes (or blindfold her). Put your tongue
into the cold water and lick her tits, stomach and her pussy. Then put it in the warm water and
do the same. You can slide the ice-cubes on her body or sprinkle a little water on her. Keep on
playing with the temperatures she will love it.
Another way to bring variety is doing sex at different places. There is nowhere you cant
have sex the bigger the chance that the two of you will be caught, the more exciting it will
be for her. Do it in the car at the park where anybody can come by. Do it on the seaside at
night. Have sex in a changing room at the shopping mall. Do her in the swimming pool. Or at
the office where she works. Have sex in the toilet at a party. Join the mile-high club and do it
on an airplane. Take her for a trip or a picnic to the forest and do her there. Possibilities are
endless the only limit is your imagination.
Try out new positions. You can do it in missionary, doggy-style, the girl on top but these
are just the basics. You can find a lot more positions if you search online, buy a sex-tips book
or consult your favorite mens magazine.
Vary thrusts. Start with 9 shallow and 1 deep. Then switch to 8 shallow and 2 deep, 7
shallow 3 deep etc. Write circles with your hips and stimulate different parts of her

92

pussy. Move your penis up and down while having sex. Pull it out and play with the door of
her pleasure. Then slide it in more aggressively. When you are on top, push your member up
to her clitoris by pushing yourself upwards. It increases clitoral stimulation and helps her
orgasm more quickly.
Let your animal side come to life. Like when you are having sex, start talking dirty. Tell
her to talk dirty as well and verbalize what she wants. Tell her to be as loud as she can when
she orgasms. You can start with slow thrusts then suddenly switch to really fast ones
whilst telling her how sexy she is and how much you want to fuck her. Changing between soft
and more aggressive style will turn her on a lot.
Ask her about her secret fantasies and tell yours. Have a romantic dinner at home and
bring some alcohol. Drink together so both of you loosen up and lose your inhibitions. You
can start talking about sex and the topic of sexual fantasies. If she is reluctant at first, tell her
that she cant say anything, which would surprise you. Many women fantasize about being
raped or having sex with a whole classroom. Of course most of these fantasies cant be lived
out, but trying out some of hers or yours can spice up your sexual life a lot.
If she is bi, you can try to find a 3rd woman and do a threesome. Ask her what she thinks of
other females. If she finds them sexy, propose the idea of including a 3rd person, who
happens to be a girl. You can even try swinger clubs, but I dont recommend any of these if
you are planning to keep her long-term or she is deeply in love with you. Including another
partner could ruin an otherwise wonderful relationship, so only do it with girls with who you
are in a no strings attached one.
A nice idea is to visit a sex-shop together and have fun. Frame it as an adventure. Laugh
with the girl at the different sex-toys, and even buy some if you think it could spice up your
sexual life. At times there are sex-expos in the bigger cities its a whole days program.
Visit one and have fun. I also love to go shopping for sexy lingerie. Go to a bigger shopping
center and make her try on different ones. If both of you like it, you can surprise her by
buying it.
Foreplay can be a day or even days long. You can build a lot of anticipation from the
morning throughout the day. When you get up whisper dirty words into her ears. Kiss her
passionately, play a little bit, even go oral, then leave without having sex. Later while both of
you are at work, send dirty text messages or call her a few times for a few seconds, whisper
something dirty and cut the line off. She will love this and her colleagues wont know while
she has that smile on her face all day. You can even do this when you are out of town: keep
calling her and sending erotic text messages.

93

If you want to take your sexuality to the next level, try ancient eastern practices. Learn a
special erotic massage together; learn Taoist sex or Tantric sex. Those contribute a lot to
learning to control your sexuality and becoming a happier couple.
The above are just a few short ideas. Use your fantasy to come up with more. Consult with
a sexual practices book if you cant think of anything. Remember, sex should never become
boring. Its a wonderful experience that both of you share together. And the more time you
spend with a girl, the easier you will loosen up and sex will be better and better.

94

Final words
Quote: 1 day of experience is worth 100 years of theory.
First of all, thank you for reading my book. I hope you will find endless ways to use whats
written in here. When writing this book, my goal was not to give a universal recipe, a step by
step process on how to seduce women. That would have been impossible. Each and everyone
is different with a different personality and mission in life. I have rather tried to give you
reference points, on which you can base your own method and way of doing things. I
presented schemes in my book, to apply to your situation and formulate your own unique
recipe. I wish you good luck on your journey and success experimenting. Use this knowledge
for your development.
And lastly, never forget that women are not complicated machines but real life humans made
of flesh and blood, just like you and I. Treat them with respect and enjoy the fulfillment and
joy that a real woman can bring into your life.
If you happen to have any questions, comments or suggestions, feel free to e-mail me at
giuseppen@seduction-and-dating.com.
Your feedback is invaluable for us. Please visit www.seduction-and-dating.com/feedback.htm where
you can post your opinion/comments/suggestions about the book anonymously. Thank you!

95

Appendix A: Recommended reading

Here are a few websites and products that Id recommend for reading/purchasing. They go on
well with the knowledge you have read in this book.
Websites:
www.fastseduction.com
Great website with a seduction forum and up to date information on the topic of women.
www.cliffslist.com
Cliffs list is a very good seduction newsletter available for free.
Products:
Ranko Magamis audio CD - www.attractanddate.com
If you buy just one thing, buy Rankos audio CD. Its short, to the point, conveys the perfect
attitude and goes on well with this book.
Mantak Chia, Douglas Abrams: The Multi-Orgasmic Man, Sexual Secrets Every Man
Should Know - www.healing-tao.co.uk/tao_of_shopping/The Multi - Orgasmic Man.htm
Mantak Chia is a respected Taoist master living in North America. In this book he explains
how its possible for every male to become multi-orgasmic and enjoy earth-shaking orgasms
like those that women experience.
Sarano Kelley: The Game, Win Your Life In 90 Days - www.saranokelley.com/book.php
A motivational book. Ideal if you are constantly procrastinating and need something to
motivate towards reaching your goals.

96