Have you ever experienced a love so strong that they could hurt you to the ultimate point, yet

when you see them you instantly forgive them, and you'll be whatever they want you to be. You
just need to have them in your life as much as you can. You know you want to be with them for
the rest of your life, no one else could ever take their place, but that doesn't mean they have to
feel the same, if they have a girlfriend and just want you as a best friend, you'll do it, if they want
you to be a secret partner you'll do it, even if they promise you that if they break up with their
primary partner that they will be with you, but then they cheat on you. You'll forgive them, and
find it a privilege to still be in their life. You'd do anything except be with out them, that would
destroy you worse then anything they could ever do to you

"Hi Alex isn't it"?he asked confidently
"Err yeah" I replied excited and shocked he remembered my name
"Josh"? I asked considerably less confidently
"Yeah do you want to come up to my room and listen to some music"?
"Yeah if you want me to thanks"
We walked up the stairs side by side. He opened the door, before I have time to take in my
surroundings Clare is at the open door
Clare i scream excitedly, she's in my Drama class the third years have just arrived back at our
accommodation, being a second year I had arrived the week before to settle in, as i was new i
mean Obviously I wasn't new to Blackmore boarding college der I'm a second year! No I mean
the second and third years share accommodation so its my first of two years living hear
Like Chire Josh is also a third year, i met him briefly in my first year he was catching the college
bus.
He said hello whats your name
Sorry I don't talk to strangers
I'm josh there you go I'm not a stranger anymore he said with a cheeky grin
I laughed my names Alex
And with that he got on the bus and was gone
After that I went to the common room hoping to see him again. I remember one of the very few
times I did see him, he was playing bowling on the wii facing backwards yet still getting strikes
the majority of the time i was fascinated.
So now to be standing in his room and invited to listen to music felt like a privilege

I was hoping he would be my friend, but if we had to wait for me we would have been waiting a
awfully long time I hate asking people questions. I'm too afraid they'll say no. I didn't think he
would want to hang out with me he was the popular boy, and I wasnt popular far from it.
The next day he comes to sit next to me on the bus, and we start talking about twilight and the
fact that i liked the music when they played baseball he said I've got that on my MP3 it was love
at first listen. He laughed at my crazy hed banging
After that i found myself spending a lot of time with him. He'd leave me in charge of his bag, and
wouldn't come back for it ,which meant I then had to go and return it.he started walking me to
break after our shared maths and english classes, meeting me at lunch and dinner times,
inviting me up to his room every night

At the time I was having a lot of emotional difficulties with staff that seemed to single me a out
as a trouble maker ,family issues, my study mentor leaving. He let me have the time I needed to
talk, and just sat next to me and listened no matter how much I repeated myself. No one had
ever done that for me before except my study mentor, it felt good, his messy familiar room
became my sanctuary the floor was always littered with his art. The sides were always littered
with headphones, paint brushes and random nick naks.

He'd always put Rock music on, and sometimes he'd play bass hunter light in the dark on his
electric drum kit . I was amazed how talented he was. I soon found out there wasnt much he
couldn't do.
The following term he got the opportunity to live in the college flat for the duration. The flat was
basically just a average sized room with a open plan kitchen at one end, with the washing
machine and tumble dryer oddly placed on the other side of the room, a sofa, a large
table,wardrobe and a bed so not much of a flat really. However there was one great thing about
it. It was in a area people didn't come to much.
One night me, charlene and Josh were in the college flat laughing and joking. When Josh went
quiet I knew something was wrong. I wanted to see if Josh was ok, but charlene was in the way.
"can you move please Charlene" I said politely but with a hint of inpatients. NO she said by this
time I had decided that I could just about squeeze Past her and the table.Then she added "you
don't have to be two feet from him all the time" (all the girls in the college fancied Josh and they
were jealous of each other) " that's not it I said to her. Thats not it she said in a horrible
mimicking mocking voice.I Lost my concentration bumped into the table, and knocked Josh's
laptop on the flor. I tried to get away from it so I didn't break it but that's exactly what I did. I
walked backwards and stepped straight on top of it. Josh picked it up and lifted the lid. When I
saw what I had done I burst into tears the screen was shattered. Josh turned it on you could
hear the sound but the screen was just covered in splurges of color I ran out the room sobbing.
Josh and Charlene followed me. Josh turned back to Charlene and said "could you just go
Charlene". Charlene left us alone in the dining room which was next to the flat and was were I
had run to. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'll pay for it" I sob.
"it's ok I'm just pleased you came to see if I was ok". He puts his arms a round me and gives me
a quick brotherly like kiss.
*
I'd been down this corridor so many times before. With it's white scratched walls its dusty red
lino floor , I'd seen the art displays the art department put up in the alcoves, that lined the wall,
that led up to their classroom door,as i walked to class and when i walk Josh to his class,when
we walked to catch the bus. That's what me and Josh were doing when it was to cold to wait
outside,so we waited in the corridor because it had a door that led directly out to the courtyard
where the buses waited to take us home. We were waiting for the 9 o'clock bus. I was sobbing
hard and uncontrollably because I'd been told it was no wonder I didn't have a boyfriend, if I
didn't like it when Edward took his top of I recounted this to Josh through my sobs, instead of
consoling me with words he started kissing me frantically but surprisingly gently all over my
face.
"Is that nice" he said in a sneaky seductive whisper.
"I like it when you kiss me somewhere else" I said, obliviously Naive.
"What here?" he says and gently touches my lips, I never expected what happened next... He
kissed me. But not the quick brotherly like kisses he'd given me ever since the incident with his
laptop, In corridors when no one was around I was used to them, and I thought they were
amazing, but proper kisses that seemed to fill my whole body.
"Wow!" I I whispered with slightly to many syllables. He chuckled and continued to kiss me.
"Whoops!" I started to say between kisses after a while he stops kissing me, and looks down at
me. "What are you saying whoops for? Incase you haven't noticed I'm kissing you back, and
Well you're just kissing me so I know what it would feel like if I had a boyfriend."
"You can think that if you want," he says in the same sneaky voice.
But you have a girlfriend what about her he just shrugs and makes a I don't no humming noise
"One more then we have to get on the bus!" He sits behind me and I can't stop staring at him
the whole ride home.
We arrive back at our accommodation "you coming down"? He asks
"no it's half past 9" I said that because the bus didn't normally get back till then, and the college
was very strict on what time we were allowed to stay in people's rooms till.
"Its only 18 minutes past"he replies you coming down"?
"ok" I say enthusiastically,
"I'll meet you down there he says"
. When I get down to the flat and walk in, he is standing on the opposite side of the room. I
remain by the door
"can I come in? Are you coming over? I ask
"No you have to come over here". He says He is standing there looking at me at just the right
height, your thinking I really want to kiss him but I don't know if I should. How does he
know?That's freaky. I say nothing but mutter under my breath I shouldn't do it I shouldn't do it
naively I still think he still wants to just be friends. So I use all my willpower but it slips for just a
second and I take a infinitesimal step forward
"your thinking about it"
he says in the same seductive whisper he used in the corridor earlier then I know its ok but
before I can do anything he is across the room and were kissing again."This is so wrong"
"just shut up and enjoy it" he commands, then he slips his hand up my trouser leg and touches
my nicker area. Is my hand ok hear he genuinely asks yes i say breathlessly as i feel the most
pleasurable sensation I've ever felt at this point

I went to bed that night happy but unable to comprehend what just happened. The next day he
acted as if nothing happened, so i put it down to a one off experience, that he had indeed been
showing me what it would be like if I had a boyfriend, and just didn't want to admit it.
even though it had been. a while Every time I passed him in the corridor I was scared he'd
suddenly be mad about his laptop, but whenever I hung out with him he was just as friendly as
he had been before the incident. I couldn't understand why he wasn't mad at me i was used to
people yelling at me, him being so laid back about it was so unnerving. By now it was nearly the
christmas holidays i wanted to get him a present he said he was running out of paint. I didn't
know much about paint I wasn't a art student, nor did I do much art. So I searched high and low
for poster paint and was very pleased when I found some. I gave it to him, and he said thanks,
but after the holidays I noticed the bottles still in his room unused, I was very disappointed,
didn't he like my present? I asked him about it. He said it was a very thoughtful present but he
didn't normally use that type of paint, but a few days later I found him lying on the floor painting
a pencil design on cardboard like cork-bored with my poster paint. " I thought you didn't use that
type of paint" I say confused.
Yeah but you gave them to me, they're not to bad really and I don't want to use my best paint on
something that's only for the college flat. So your paint will be very useful after all, thank you. I
was over the moon , and giggled at the remark he just made nobody liked the college very
much. I loved watching him create art. He would always lay on the floor propped up on his
elbows or knelling up on his knees. I always thought it looked like a very difficult position to paint
in, but he insisted it was extremely comfortable