13 cosas que la gente mentalmente fuerte NO

HACE

Las personas mentalmente fuertes, segn Amy
Morin, tienen hbitos saludables. Explica que ellos
manejan sus emociones, pensamientos y
comportamientos en formas que los conducen haca
el xito en la vida.
Morin dice que el aumento de la fuerza mental se
trata de mejorar la capacidad para regular las
emociones, gestionar los pensamientos, y
comportarse de una manera productiva, a pesar de
las circunstancias.

Aqu la lista que ha llegado a millones de
personas a travs de su artculo viral y sus
charlas:

1. No pierden tiempo auto lamentndose
Las personas mentalmente fuertes no malgastan sus
energas en lamentarse sobre sus circunstancias o
por cmo otras personas se han portado con ellos.
Al contrario, asumen la responsabilidad por sus
propios actos y entienden que la vida no siempre es
fcil o justa.

2. No renuncian a su poder
No permiten que otros les controlen, ni se someten a
la voluntad de nadie. No dicen cosas como mi jefe
me hace sentir mal, porque entienden que controlan
sus propias emociones y pueden elegir cmo
reaccionar a una situacin.

3. No tienen miedo a los cambios
La gente con fortaleza mental no trata de evitar los
cambios. Reciben los cambios de forma positiva y
estn dispuestos a ser flexibles. Entienden que el
cambio es inevitable y creen en su propia capacidad
para adaptarse.

4. No malgastan energa en cosas que no pueden
controlar
Nunca oirs a una persona mentalmente fuerte
quejndose sobre maletas perdidas en el aeropuerto
o atascos por el trfico. Ell@s se centran en los
aspectos de su vida que pueden controlar.
Reconocen que, a veces, lo nico que pueden
controlar es su propia actitud.

5. No intentan agradar a todo el mundo
Reconocen que no necesitan agradar a todo el
mundo todo el tiempo. No tienen miedo a decir no o
mantenerse firmes cuando es necesario. Se
esfuerzan en ser amables y justos, pero son capaces
de tolerar el que otras personas se alteren porque no
han conseguido lo que queran.




6. Asumen riesgos calculados
No se lanzan a la aventura sin pensar, pero son
capaces de asumir ciertos riesgos controlados. Las
personas con fortaleza mental dedican tiempo a
sopesar los riesgos y beneficios antes de tomar una
decisin importante, y se informan bien de los
peligros potenciales antes de pasar a la accin.

7. No se estancan en el pasado
Las personas mentalmente fuertes no pierden
tiempo sintiendo nostalgia del pasado ni deseando
que las cosas pudieran ser diferentes. Asumen su
pasado y pueden decir lo que han aprendido de l,
sin embargo no estn reviviendo constantemente
sus malas experiencias o fantaseando sobre sus
das de gloria. Centran su vida en el presente y
hacen planes para el futuro.

8. No caen una y otra vez en los mismos errores
Aceptan la responsabilidad por su conducta y
aprenden de sus errores pasados. Como resultado,
no repiten una y otra vez esos errores. En cambio
son capaces de pasar pgina y tomar decisiones
ms inteligentes gracias a su experiencia.

9. No envidian el xito de otros
La gente mentalmente fuerte son capaces de
apreciar y celebrar el xito de otros en la vida. No
sienten envidia ni se sienten estafados cuando otros
les superan. Reconocen que el xito viene del
trabajo duro y estn dispuestos a esforzarse para
tener sus propias posibilidades de xito.

10. No tiran la toalla por un tropiezo
No ven el fracaso como un motivo para abandonar.
Utilizan el fracaso como una oportunidad para crecer
y mejorar. Tienen voluntad para seguir intentndolo
hasta que lo consiguen.

11. No temen a la soledad
Las personas fuertes de mente toleran la soledad y
no temen el silencio. No tienen miedo a quedarse a
solas con sus pensamientos y utilizan ese tiempo
para ser productivos. Disfrutan de esos momentos y
no dependen todo el tiempo de la presencia de otros
para ser felices.

12. No sienten que el mundo les deba nada
No se sienten con derecho a nada en la vida. No
piensan que otros deban cuidar de ellos o darles
algo. Buscan oportunidades basndose en sus
propios mritos.

13. No esperan resultados inmediatos
Cuando se esfuerzan para ponerse en forma o
levantar un nuevo negocio, las personas con
fortaleza mental no esperan resultados inmediatos.
Aplican sus habilidades y tiempo al mximo y
entienden que los cambios reales llevan tiempo.

5 Powerful Exercises to Increase Your
Mental Strength
Amy Morin

Psychology often discusses mental health but whats
not often discussed is a clear definition of mental strength.
To me, mental strength means that you regulate your
emotions, manage your thoughts, and behave in a
positive manner, despite your circumstances. Developing
mental strength is about finding the courage to live
according to your values and being bold enough to create
your own definition of success.

Mental strength involves more than just willpower; it
requires hard work and commitment. Its about
establishing healthy habits and choosing to devote your
time and energy to self-improvement. (Check out my list of
13 Things Mentally Strong People Dont Do.)

Although its easier to feel mentally strong when life
seems simple often, true mental strength becomes
most apparent in the midst of tragedy. Choosing to
develop skills that increase your mental strength is the
best way to prepare for lifes inevitable obstacles.
Many exercises exist that can help you develop mental
strength. But here are five that can get you started:

1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs
Weve all developed core beliefs about ourselves, our
lives and the world in general. Core beliefs develop over
time and largely depend upon our past experiences.
Whether youre aware of your core beliefs or not, they
influence your thoughts, your behavior and emotions.

Sometimes, core beliefs are inaccurate and unproductive.
For example, if you believe that youll never succeed in
life, you may be less apt to apply for new jobs and
inadvertently, you may not present yourself well on job
interviews. Therefore, your core beliefs may become a
self-fulfilling prophecy.

Identify and evaluate your core beliefs. Look for beliefs
that are black and white, and then find exceptions to the
rule. Very few things in life are always or never true.
Modifying core beliefs requires purposeful intention and
hard work, but it can change the entire course of your life.

2. Expend Your Mental Energy Wisely
Wasting brain power ruminating about things you cant
control drains mental energy quickly. The more you think
about negative problems that you cant solve, the less
energy youll have leftover for creative endeavors. For
example, sitting and worrying about the weather forecast
isnt helpful. If a major storm is headed your way, worrying
about it wont prevent it. You can, however, choose to
prepare for it. Focus on what is only within your control.

Save your mental energy for productive tasks, such as
solving problems or setting goals. When your thoughts
arent productive, make a conscious effort to shift your
mental energy to more helpful topics. The more you
practice expending your mental energy wisely, the more it
will become a habit.

3. Replace Negative Thoughts with Productive
Thoughts
Although most of us dont spend time thinking about our
thoughts, increasing your awareness of your thinking
habits proves useful in building resilience. Exaggerated,
negative thoughts, such as, I cant ever do anything
right, hold you back from reaching your full potential.
Catch your negative thoughts before they spiral out of
control and influence your behavior.

Identify and replace overly negative thoughts with
thoughts that are more productive. Productive thoughts
dont need to be extremely positive, but should be
realistic. A more balanced thought may be, I have some
weaknesses, but I also have plenty of strengths.
Changing your thoughts requires constant monitoring, but
the process can be instrumental in helping you become
your best self.

4. Practice Tolerating Discomfort
Being mentally strong doesnt mean you dont experience
emotions. In fact, mental strength requires you to become
acutely aware of your emotions so you can make the best
choice about how to respond. Mental strength is about
accepting your feelings without being controlled by them.

Mental strength also involves an understanding of when it
makes sense to behave contrary to your emotions. For
example, if you experience anxiety that prevents you from
trying new things or accepting new opportunities, try
stepping out of your comfort zone if you want to continue
to challenge yourself. Tolerating uncomfortable emotions
takes practice, but it becomes easier as your confidence
grows.

Practice behaving like the person youd like to become.
Instead of saying, I wish I could be more outgoing,
choose to behave in a more outgoing manner, whether
you feel like it or not. Some discomfort is often necessary
for greater gain, and tolerating that discomfort will help
make your vision a reality, one small step at a time.

5. Reflect on Your Progress Daily
Todays busy world doesnt lend itself to making much
time available for quiet reflection. Create time to reflect
upon your progress toward developing mental strength. At
the end of each day, ask yourself what youve learned
about your thoughts, emotions and behavior. Consider
what you hope to improve upon or accomplish tomorrow.

Developing mental strength is a work in progress. There is
always room for improvement, and at times this will seem
more difficult than at other times. Reflecting upon your
progress can reinforce your ability to reach your definition
of success while living according to your values.

The 5 Core Components of Effective
Discipline
Amy Morin

A childs behavior wont change unless caregivers lay a
healthy foundation for healthy discipline. Otherwise,
children may not respond to consequences, like
redirection or time out. Make sure your discipline includes
these five core components:

1. A Healthy Relationship with the Child

If a parent, teacher, or babysitter doesnt have a healthy
relationship with a child, discipline isnt likely to work. If
your child assumes that a caregiver doesnt like or respect
him, he isnt going to care about pleasing that caregiver. If
a caregiver is mean, a child may comply with occasional
requests but in the long-term, that caregiver isn't likely to
be effective in teaching a new behavior.

The need for a healthy relationship is essential when it
comes to step-parents. Step-parents who immediately try
to discipline a child before building a healthy relationship
often find that the child is non-compliant and
argumentative. Its imperative for step-parents to focus on
relationship building first before attempting to parent a
child.

2. Discipline Should be a Teaching Tool

If you simply tell children, Dont do that, and Youre in
time-out, without ever teaching him the correct behavior,
he won't learn how to avoid repeating the same mistake
next time. If a mother tells her children, Stop fighting,
when theyre arguing over who gets to a first turn, she
wont have taught them how to resolve conflict peacefully..

To really help a child change his behavior, discipline
should be used as a teaching tool. That means helping
kids identify new ways to manage their behavior and
showing them healthy choices they can make. Often, that
means practicing, role modeling, and even role playing
new behavior.

3. Discipline Needs to be Consistent

If you only put your child in time-out one out of every five
times that he hits his brother, hes not going to stop hitting
his brother. After all, its worth the risk if theres only a
20% chance hell get into trouble.

To be effective, discipline needs to be applied
consistently. If you place your child in time-out for hitting
every single time he behaves aggressively, hell begin to
link the consequence to his misbehavior and over time,
hell recognize that hitting leads to consequences.
Consistent discipline, combined with effective teaching of
new behaviors, helps children recognize how to change
their behavior.

4. Consequences Should be Immediate

Immediate consequences help kids connect the dots
between their behavior and the consequence. If a child
doesnt lose her phone privileges for at least a week after
she lied about getting her homework done on time, the
consequence wont be as effective.

There may certainly be times that you cant give an
immediate consequence. Sometimes, you may not
discover your child has broken the rules until hours or
even days later. In those instances, a late consequence
may be your only option. But its important to avoid saying
things like, Wait until your father gets home, because a
consequence served several hours later will be less
effective.

5. Consequences Need to be Perceived as Fair by
the Child

If your 12-year-old forgets to do his homework one night,
and you ground him from using any electronics for a
month, your child isnt likely to perceive that as a fair
consequence. So he may sneak in some phone time
when youre not around. Or he may turn on the TV when
youre not paying attention. He isnt likely to abide by the
consequence if he doesnt think youve given him a fair
deal.

When kids are convinced theyve been served an
injustice, theyll fight it every step of the way. That doesnt
mean you should always negotiate with your child and
give in when he protests about the consequence youve
handed down, but it does mean you should ensure that
your punishments arent overly harsh.

http://discipline.about.com/od/disciplinebasics/fl/The-5-
Core-Components-of-Effective-Discipline.htm





















Don't Accept Excuses: Teach Your Child to
Take Responsibility for his Behavior
Amy Morin

All children are bound to develop excuses for their
misbehavior at one time or another. Its not my fault! is a
common reaction for kids when theyve broken the rules.
But for some kids, chronic excuses can become a real
problem.

If your child is often saying things like, I had to hit her
because she kicked me first, or Its not my fault I forgot
my homework. My teacher doesnt give me enough time
to get my books after school, its important to address it
proactively. Otherwise, it can become a lifelong problem
that wont serve your child well when he becomes an
adult.

Respond Calmly

Avoid arguing with your child when he insists something
isnt your fault. Otherwise you risk getting into a power
struggle. Instead, respond calmly and make it clear that
his excuse for his behavior wont mean he isnt
responsible.

Encourage Personal Responsibility

Teach your child the difference between an explanation
and making an excuse. For example, telling his teacher he
was absent because he was legitimately sick is an
explanation. Meanwhile, telling the teacher his dog ate his
homework is an excuse.

An explanation accepts personal responsibility while an
excuse tends to blame other people. An explanation is
meant to help others understand the situation while an
excuse is usually meant to justify a mistake. Sometimes
kids and many adults have difficulty recognizing the
difference. But its worth the time and effort to help your
child see that there is a big difference between blaming
others and accepting personal responsibility.

Role play various scenarios and ask your child to identify
when youre making an excuse versus when youre
offering an explanation. With practice, your child can grow
to recognize the difference. You can also take time to talk
about it while youre watching movies or reading books by
asking him whether he thinks a character is offering an
explanation or an excuse.

Teach Problem-Solving Skills

When your child tries to blame other people for his
mistakes and problems, turn the focus back on his
choices in how he responds. For example, if he says, I
got a bad grade on my project because the teacher didnt
explain how to do it, ask, What could you have done
about that? Talk about how he could have asked for
clarification or sought out assistance, rather than blaming
the teacher for his poor grade.

Its important that your child is able to recognize that he
has choices in how he responds. If his sister kicks him, he
doesnt have to hit her. Instead, he can ask for help, tell
her to stop, or leave the situation. Teach your child that no
matter what goes on around him, hes ultimately
responsible for his own choices.

Emphasize Learning From Mistakes

Teach your child that mistakes are a learning opportunity.
When kids view mistakes as a way to help them learn,
theyre less likely to try and cover up their mistakes or
blame other people. Show them that making mistakes isnt
bad, but its important to learn from those mistakes so
they dont get repeated.

Praise your child for telling the truth or taking responsibility
for his behavior. When he says things like, I wouldnt
have hit her if she didnt make me mad, gently remind
him that no one made him do anything and that he
chooses how he behaves. Then, when hes calm talk
about what he can do differently the next time.

http://discipline.about.com/od/specificbehaviorproblems/fl/
Dont-Accept-Excuses-Teach-Your-Child-to-Take-
Responsibility-for-his-Behavior.htm