According to Oxford Dictionary, a child means a young human being below the age of

puberty or below the legal age of majority. I think this is so obvious that a parent, we are the
strongest influence for them. They will be influenced by what they see, heard and by experience.
There is one a wise saying by David Bly, Your children will become what you are; so be what
you want them to be." So this saying is a prove that we are, a parent, is the core ingredients in
our child's life. There is no doubt about it. Parent mould their kids since young, so it is up to
them to make something or nothing out of their children. I am sure you hear this a lot but
children are the reflection of their parent, so it is clearly their responsibilities to shape the out
coming of their kids. During this millennium surrounding, I know that we are packed with the a
variety types of toys, games, internet and all the new gadgets of electronic. More or else, the
devices might be the close influence to them. But do not we forget, parents! We are the greatest
influence of all because we raise them. We actually brought them up in this very world and
always know what they want ever since. Most of the parents out there think that peers are the
main cause of their problematic kids. But do not point your finger to them yet because parents
are the one to blame. Trust me. It all starts at home. Parents with good characters can use these
influences to shape the personality of their kids. Here, I had a few tips on how to become good
parent. Me, myself had been used these tips to my own kids, and believe it or not, it works!
Step number one is being a good role model. As parent, we have to have good
personalities if we wants our kids to enclose that qualities too. We all know that children are the
reflections of their parents. So no wonder if we see a kid who presenting a problem, comes from
a broken and problematic family. In addition, parents must model the appropriate behavior for
their children if they want their children to be successful in their behavior. For instance, smoking
issues among school kids. I strongly believe that besides the peer influence, parents are also the
one who hold the responsible. They had been exposed to cigarettes from small age. As the
curiosity grows up, they want to experience it since parents never explain how dangerous it will
do to your lungs. Furthermore, they just do not care at all. As a parent, it is important for you to
show the good qualities that can enhance the child's behavior. If you set high standards for
yourself and treat others with kindness and respect, your child stands a better chance of
following your examples. Try to practice what you preach. Teenagers can and do notice when
you dont!
Step number two is being a good listener. Some parents just do the talking over and over
again and just not listen. They think that kids only have to listen and cannot do the talk. We are
wrong parents! Kids do need to talk. Do not leave the all the parenting works to teachers at
school. The good communication between both parties will make the relationship better.
sometimes kids just want to share what is happening at school, college or things that happen in
their relationship with friends. They want to share the joy, the sad, the excellent job that they did
but sometimes they just walk off. The parents are so busy to listen. they just busy talking. The
kids must be heartbroken. For example, a child of yours failed their Mathematics subject at
school. Do not judge her too soon. Ask properly the reason behind the failing result before do
anything. In the conversation, you will find the answer of the bad grades. There must be a reason
behind all the problems. Maybe it is because the noisy surroundings, or they cannot understand
the lesson because the teacher talks to fast, or it could be anything. Give your kids a positive
communication and they will be more likely to talk to you in good times and bad. Listening can
also be the best way to uncover a more serious problem that requires your attention. So,
communication is the key. Listen to what they were saying and pay attention to it. The listening
process continues with appropriate actions.
The next step is to teach responsibility. Responsibilities mean having an obligation to do
something, or having control over or care for someone, as part of one's job or role. Meanwhile,
responsible parenthood, as defined in the Directional Plan of POPCOM, is the will and ability of
parents to respond to the needs and aspirations of the family and children. There is no doubt it is
our job, parents! As we are their first teacher, we have to teach them responsibilities. Children
are not born knowing how to act responsibly. We, parents have to teach how to be responsible. it
can start at very early age. it is simple as we teach them to be responsible to their own things.
Teach them how to take care a good care of it. if they lose it, what they going to do. Who they
have to refer and what actions to take. there are some parents who teach responsibilities by
giving them punishments. I think the small kind of punishment will do but do not go too far.
Sometimes kids just do not like to be punished and they will rebel. But do not forget parents!
You have to explain why they be punished and how to pay back their mistakes. So that they will
understand it better what are the punishment for. Rather than just penalize them without them
knowing their mistakes. Other than that, what you can do is teach them to do housework and
completing chores. The simplest chores is cleaning their own room. Provide them with
guidelines so they will not be lost along the way. Or in other way, you can just put up a schedule
for them. It will be easier for them to complete their responsibility. For instance, parents divide
the job to each of your kids during dinner or lunch time. Assigned the kids to do different chores
at one time. Who will do the dishes, who will help you with the cooking and who will clean the
table. There are many examples that you can use to teach responsibilities. Examples, completing
homework assignments without being nagged, taking on community activities or admitting to
both the good and bad choices that they make. Other technique that you can do is incentive
method. As for younger children you can use Mothers rule. Say, When you have picked up
all your clothes, you may go out and play. Be sure to use when rather than if. This rule will
surely help a lot! Burke states, Praise is powerful. Praising your child is one of the most
important things you can do as a parent. Praise is nourishment. It helps your child grow
emotionally, just as food helps your child grow physically (Burke, 1997, pg. 51). Praise is a
method of keeping focus on the positive of any situation. You give them extra token or prize or it
can be amount of money, if they can do any of the chores without being asked or they just
succeed. For young kids, I believe that this will motivates them to fulfill their responsibility.
They already aimed what they will get if they do the work right or able to finish the chores in
time. The reason behind giving praise is to build up self esteem, to give a belief of personal
satisfaction, with the addition of feeling secure within one self (Hurlock, 1978, pg. 311).
Indirectly, they learn how to be responsible.
The fourth step is make quality time daily to spend with your kids. Life can be hectic
at one point when you, parents, have no time to spend with your kids. All you do is working
from day to night. You went home with fatigue face and bunch of working problems on the top
of your head. You get crazy when your kids start screaming and running around the dinner table,
messing up with the food, disturbing their younger siblings and you cannot bare the noise. When
you reach your boiling point, you will start screaming back and sometimes all the inappropriate
words just running out from your mouth. This is where your brain cannot think rationally
because your body is too weak. Without you realize, the kids just have more unpleasant feeling
to be around you. Life has a way of overriding all of your time. You just have to grab a few
minutes to spend with your kids. If you cannot find the time, then make the time. Take a family
vacation. Go somewhere far. Far from the chaotic life in town. Ease your mind. Be around the
kids and learn more about them. You, yourself will have a incredible time to relax your mind.
Forget all the problems and enjoy the time with your kids. No matter how busy you are, or how
tired you may be, there is no reason to deny your time with your children. You can just observe
them and taka a chance to get closer to them. It does not necessarily to be a big family vacation.
it can be a thirty minutes time at home or bring them to playground. As for teenagers, spend the
time to have a private conversation. Playing outside with your children is a simple act that can
have major benefits. For the more adventurous, a fishing trip, a hike in the jungle, rock climbing
might be more appealing. You will not realize how it means to them. Some are just act like they
just do not care but deep inside, they really appreciate it so much.
The next step is be your childs first source of information. Be the internet to your
child. We have to encourage them to ask questions and explore the world. We as parents, have to
get ready to be their source of information. During the questions and answering session with
your child, you can create a positive atmosphere. Furthermore, we have create a mutual trust and
gain respect. Through this personality, parents just made the parenting go effortless. Children
adapt from the relationship and they build up the good deeds in them. this also can prevent the
kids from developing unsafe habits or taking unnecessary risks in their coming life journey.
The next step is important. which is do not argue with your spouse in front of the
children. Every problems that you and your partner face are depends on the way you approach
and handle it. Believe it or not, it might be a good thing for your children to see you and your
spouse having an argument and see how you manage the situation in a respectful and healthy
way. but it will always turn out to be a fight, cursing each other, and the things will get out of
control. Then, it will be the worst thing that your children could ever seen. When something
becomes a big enough issue that an argument is unavoidable, be aware that the children are
watching and find a way to sum it up and discuss it in private, means with their close ones.
Mostly, children who are been exposed to this kind of situation will have conflicts to manage
their disagreements. They will find it hard to make a decision in life. They will choose an
aggressive way to solve their problems. The disagreements will definitely arise in their lives and
also in their relationship. In my humble opinion, I think, if Mother and Father can learn how to
handle the situation and majoring the methods of problem solving, the kids will automatically
can turn out to be as what you want. This will benefit the family in the long run.

In a nutshell, parents have to realized that in these modern age, sometimes our kids are no
longer guided by their parents but they are guided by the media. We as the elders have to know
that this is no good news. Most of the things showed on the media are negative things that can
corrupt our kids mind.
Believe it or not, the media have a very strong influence on kids as much as parents or
their close friends. In addition, the lack of communication between parents and their children
could bring a bad effect to their future. At a very young age, parents should know that children
do not understand how this world works. How the mother have to juggle at work place and
continue the next cycle at home. How dad have to work for long hours to put some food on the
dinner table. Kids will assume that you have no time for them when you only want the best for
them, but this is normal since they are still blinded by the perfect life showed by the media. How
drugs would take the loneliness away, how sex before marriage could boost their self esteem
especially through songs that are playing on the radio.
As for them, parents are the last person that could understand themselves. Parents are no
longer seen as role models but outsiders. They look up to singers, or rock stars as their idols.
Following their every foot step including clothing and behavior. This can be good if those
famous people actually are such a good example. But if the image portrayed by them are
manipulative and rerouting the kids from the straight path to a winding one that could lead them
to a life with no future this could be really bad, not only for them but to all humanity. If our
future leaders are too busy rebelling over small things, how can we expect for them to lead a
country. This is when education not only on academics, but real education.
The reality of this world should be exposed to them at an early age. We should let them
differentiate between reality and work of fiction. That is why it is better to have a friendly
relationship with kids, especially when they are teens. That is the most crucial stage because
then, curiosity starts to take over. Teenagers want to try almost everything not bounded by the
consequences, their care free spirit could be dangerous but we should let them experience it
themselves for them to learn the cause and effect. Keeping them in the house will do them any
good, strict parenting are good for sometime but all the time can affect your child. It caused by
all the hormones, kids will be much cunning on finding out a way to sneak out the house. Like I
said at the very beginning, it is very important to create trust between parents and their children.