7 Honest Reasons Why

Addicts Lie
By DAVID SACK, M.D.
Addicts tell lies more often than
they tell the truth. Im not hurting anyone. I can stop any
time. Deception becomes so second nature, addicts will lie
even when its just as easy to tell the truth. any dont even
reali!e theyre fibbing or that other people see through the
fa"ade. #iving a double life is e$hausting, so why do addicts
lie%
#1 To Preserve Their Addiction
An addict will do whatever is necessary to maintain their
addiction. If they ac&nowledged the seriousness of the
problem or the harm theyre causing themselves and others,
they would be hard'pressed to continue this way of life. (heir
logic, whether conscious or unconscious, is) I need drugs, and
I need lies to &eep people off my bac& so I can continue using
drugs. (hus, lying becomes a matter of self'preservation.
Anything, or anyone, that is going to hinder their drug habit
has no place in the addicts life.
#2 To Avoid Facing Reality
Addiction reorgani!es the addicts world and consumes their
identity so that the person becomes unrecogni!able to
themselves and others. *ince the truth is too painful to face,
the addict constructs an alternate reality where drugs and
alcohol arent a problem and the addict is doing e$actly what
other people want and hope for them. (hey say theyve been
clean for wee&s when, in truth, they got high just a few hours
ago. (hey say they landed a great new job when theyre
actually dirt poor and homeless.
#3 To Avoid Confrontation
#oved ones rarely sit idly by as an addict self'destructs. (hey
as& +uestions, get angry and inevitably wonder, If you love
me, why do you &eeping ma&ing choices that hurt me% (he
stress of interpersonal conflict can be overwhelming for an
addict. ,ithout mature coping s&ills, addicts may do or say
whatever it ta&es to avoid that disappointed loo& in their loved
ones eyes or the contemptuous tone in their voice. -r they
may become increasingly defensive, dishing out complaints of
their own in an attempt to draw attention away from their
addiction and toward the other persons vulnerabilities.
#4 They Are in Denial
.ven in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary,
denial compels the addict to disavow their problem and ignore
the conse+uences of their behavior. Although denial can serve
a valuable protective function, allowing people to process
information and come to terms with it, in addiction denial can
become pervasive. /or e$ample, addicts may truly believe that
their family and friends have become the enemy or that their
addiction is not only an acceptable but necessary part of their
life. (he disease uses denial and other sophisticated defenses,
such as rationali!ation, projection and intellectuali!ation, to
ensure its survival.
#5 They Believe Theyre Different
If the addict ac&nowledges that drugs and alcohol have
become a problem but wants to continue using, they must
convince themselves that they are the e$ception to the rule.
(he delusion that Im not li&e the others, I can handle it
allows the addict to live outside normal standards of behavior.
#! They Feel Asha"ed
In sober moments, addicts may feel e$treme shame,
embarrassment and regret. 0nable to wor& through these
emotions, addicts cope in the only way they &now how) by
using more drugs. (o &eep up appearances, they paint a
picture of themselves to others that is far more flattering than
the reality.
## Beca$se They Can
*ometimes friends and family match the addicts denial with
an unhealthy dose of their own. (hey turn a blind eye to
worrisome behaviors and ma&e e$cuses for the addict because
the truth is simply too painful or theyve tolerated as much
suffering as they can bear. #oved ones who ignore, enable or
rescue send the message that lying is acceptable, thus
perpetuating the addiction.
%o &ore 'ies
#ies are a root cause of the isolation most addicts e$perience,
as well as the anger and disillusionment loved ones often feel.
,hile loved ones cant force an addict out of denial, there are
steps they can ta&e to illuminate the realities)
1ecogni!e that lies fulfill a purpose for the addict and are
not a personal affront. As frustrating as they can be, lies
are a common part of the disease.
,hile it is important to understand the purpose of the
lies, it is e+ually important to push past them. (he lies
are &eeping your loved one trapped in addiction. In some
cases, addicts are forced to face reality by hitting roc&
bottom, but loved ones can help raise the bottom by
staging an intervention, refusing to enable or rescue,
contacting a therapist or addiction treatment program,
and pointing out negative conse+uences in real time
2e.g., after a driving under the influence charge3.
If you catch the addict in a lie, dont loo& the other way.
#etting them &now what you see will help them face the
conse+uences of their actions.
4reate a supportive environment that facilitates honesty
rather than engaging in a power struggle or ma&ing
threats. (he lying will stop when the addict feels safe
telling the truth and has the support they need to get
well.
.ncourage involvement in support groups li&e Alcoholics
Anonymous, which replace the automatic response 5 lies
5 with rigorous honesty and ma&ing amends. In these
groups, peers hold addicts accountable for their lies and
encourage them to face the unpleasant truth about
themselves without shame or blame.
Its true, addicts lie. And while the lies cant be ignored, they
are actually a distraction from the real problem 5 the
underlying issues that contribute to addiction 5 and a diversion
from the solution) finding a path to recovery. -nly by brea&ing
through denial and seeing the truth can the addict begin to
heal.
David Sack, M.D., is board certified in psychiatry, addiction
psychiatry and addiction medicine. He is CEO of Elements
Behavioral Health, a network of mental health and addiction
treatment centers that incldes !romises, "he #anch, "he
#ecovery !lace, "he Se$al #ecovery %nstitte, #i&ht Step,
Clarity 'ay, (orney Healin& Centers and )cida "reatment
Center.