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Savor
Kate Evangelista
ISBN: 978-1-939173-65-2
E-ISBN: 978-1-939173-66-9
Copyright Kate Evangelista 2013. All rights reserved
Cover Art: Lilyana Sanches
Editor: Joceline Farrah
Layout/Typesetting: jimandzetta.com
Crescent Moon Press
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Box 269
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All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner
whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in
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This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the
writers imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any
resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely
coincidental.
Crescent Moon Press electronic publication/print publication: December 2013
www.crescentmoonpress.com
But I dont want to go among mad people, Alice remarked.
Oh, you cant help that, said the Cat: were all mad here.
Im mad. Youre mad.
How do you know Im mad? said Alice.
You must be, said the Cat, or you wouldnt have come here.
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Chapter One
Sacrifice
I stepped out of the cab, camera in hand, and faced Sacrifice. The newly opened clubs
name flashed in neon lights above the line of restless people that stretched around the block.
They all waited to get in. Didnt they have anything better to do on a Friday night? Shaking
my head, I zipped my jacket closed against the pre-winter cold.
The spiked heel of my boots crunched against the blacktop as I bypassed the line toward
the bouncer guarding the velvet rope. My chin-length black hair flapped in the breeze. My
breath materialized in front of me. How the scantily clad patrons in line withstood the bite in the air
was beyond me.
Leaving my camera to hang around my neck, I stuffed my hands inside my pockets and
reached for my press pass. My final assignment for the Daily Gossipan unfortunate name
for a college paperinvolved taking pictures of the club. I expected Silvia, the features writer, to be
inside already.
I flashed my pass, but the bouncer stared at my face instead. I knew what he was gawking
at. Reaching up, I ran my fingers over the black eye patch covering my left eye. The tip of a
scar peeked out at the top. Only my doctor knew what lay beneath. Over the years, Id gotten
used to the stares. Unfortunately for me, Id also gotten used to guys running the other way.
My last boyfriend sure did, all the way to another girls bed. Who would want to date a one-
eyed pirate girl anyway? It would make for awkward Thanksgiving introductions.
I shrugged off the negativity. I had more important things to think about. After this
feature, I needed to prepare for the Spring Showcase. It was months away, but in order to
graduate, I needed to put together a ten photo introspective. I still didnt have a subject. If I didnt find
one soon and develop a relationship with him, her, or it, I wouldnt have the right pictures to present
to the panel headed by the dean of photography. If they didnt like the
pictures, I could kiss my aspirations of becoming a well-known, well-respected photographer
goodbye and resign myself to a career in taking candid shots at weddings.
The mere thought dotted cold sweat across my brow.
Banishing my possible future if I didnt find a subject soon along with the negativity
brought on by my patch, I grinned at the bouncer. Hey, Im here with Silvia Parker. Were
covering the club for the Daily Gossip.
Mentioning Silvias name brought the man back to life. He growled at the increasingly
antsy crowd behind mewith the drop in temperature, I couldnt blame themand unlatched
the velvet rope. He waved me in, giving my face one final glance. Sometimes I think Id make
the perfect Bond villain. I already had the eye patch. All I needed now was the perfect
motivation to take over the world. And a white Persian cat.
I chuckled, handing my jacket to the guy in charge of them just inside the club. He handed
me a stub and I pushed my way in, following the techno music heavy on the organ beats.
Aromatic smoke curled from countless metal censers suspended from chains. A hazy from
the burning incense settled in the room, clogging my lungs. Fanning my face did nothing to
dispel the cloying scent. I may have to burn my clothes after leaving this place. I cursed the editor-in-
chief for sending me here. Laser lights dancing to the beats produced by a DJ in a
priests cassock was one of the only sources of light. I cursed under my breath again. This
would be hell on my camera. I had to adjust the settings just right if I wanted half decent
pictures for the paper. Our editor-in-chief got OCD right around the final issue. The Daily
Gossip was more like a rag, but it was the rag I worked for. I took pride in what I did. If my pictures
added interest to any story then I considered my job done.
The walls were covered with glow in the dark wall paper, each section depicting various
religious scenes. Already weird. Then I noticed the ceramic hands that they used as sconces.
The second source of light, but they didnt help much. Rosaries hung from the extended
fingers. I wasnt the religious type, but being in Sacrifice made me think of burning in hell for eternity.
Then I looked up and immediately regretted it. Dancers dressed as sexy nuns
dangled from huge aluminum rings.
Yup, burning in hell for this was a definite possibility. Id seen some crazy shit in the years Id spent
covering club openings for the paper, but the images in this club may scar me for
life. What would they think of next?
Scratch that. I did not want to know.
Fishing out my SD card from the front pocket of my leather pants, I inserted it into the
slot of my DSLR and prepared to take preliminary shots. Silvia would find me eventually.
Sometimes we didnt even see each other at events. As long as I got the photos, she didnt
complain. But there were times when she wanted me to focus on something specific. If that
was the case for Sacrifice, which certainly stood out from the other clubs wed covered this
year, then Id give her half an hour. If she didnt get in touch by then, I was jetting.
The Daily Gossip liked stories that interested the students. A new club blocks away from
campus always increased our readership. I commended our editor for that. Id rather cover a
club opening than a play. Been to a few flops this year. I shuddered at the memory of the
musical where all the actors couldnt hold a tune. My ears still havent forgiven me.
I took a series of six photos, adjusting my camera along the way. One of the crowded bar.
It seemed two bartenders dressed as altar boys werent enough to meet demand. I took one of
the dance floor, catching the right moment when the lasers came down on the dancers. It
looked like an assassin trailed his weapon on them. I got a shot of Father DJ, the empty stage with
band equipment, and a couple atmospheric shots for my own pleasure.
D!
Lifting my eye from the cameras digi screen, I narrowed my gaze and scanned the crowd.
Silvias petite frame and pixie cut would be hard to spot normally, but she swam through the
crowd like a pro. It didnt hurt that the sequined dress she wore caught what little light the club had
just right. She looked like a walking disco ball on stilts.
Two drinks in hand, she pushed one glass my way. I brought it up to my nose and sniffed.
It bothered me to get drunk while sexy dancing nuns looked on from above. Id just turned
twenty-one and still hadnt gotten the hang of actually being legal to drink. The act of getting drunk
lost most of its appeal once it was allowed. Either way, I didnt drink on the job. Silvia knew that.
Although, once she slipped me what seemed like mango juice when really it was
half vodka half juice. I didnt speak to her for a month after that.
Its a soda, silly. She rolled her heavily eye-shadowed eyes at me.
I still didnt take her word for it, taking a tentative sip. The fizz popped in my mouth. I
swished the drink over my tongue like an experienced wine taster. Only when I was sure no
trace of alcohol burn accompanied the soda did I swallow.
Is this club trippy or what?
If by trippy you mean sacrilegious? Then yeah. I already have a couple of good shots for
the paper. I got right down to business. The sooner I satisfied Silvia, the faster I got home.
Anything specific you want me to cover?
The almost manic expression on her face should have been my first red flag. Were
changing the story.
That line should have been my second, but I was used to her switching the direction of an
article. Larry, our dragon of an editor, will not be happy, but it was Silvias neck not mine.
What do you have in mind?
She angled toward the bar and stood on her tiptoes. Her sky high heels didnt give her any
elevation at all. I snorted. The things the vertically challenged did to gain extra inches baffled me. I
was happy in my boots. Being taller than the average girl, I didnt need the extra height.
Another reason why guys ran the other way. Why would someone want to date Gigantor?
Do you see that guy? Silvia pointed in the distance with her drink holding hand.
With the place packed even I had to stand on my toes. Squinting, I followed the place she
indicated with my gaze. Which guy?
The blond one seated in that circular booth at the corner.
Still not seeing who Silvia meant, I lifted my camera and used the zoom function. In a rare
moment, the crowd between the bar and the dance floor parted and I caught sight of the
booth Silvia meant. At one end sat a girl in a Gothic Lolita costume. Id covered cosplay
events on campus, so I knew what all the lace and ribbons meant. Her long, fair hair was
parted into two pigtails, curling at the sides of her head. What would a Loli Girl be doing in a club
like Sacrifice? She sat on the lap of a guy with black hair sticking out in messy spikes. He had a
silver hoop between his nostrils and several other piercings going up his ears. He
leaned in and whispered something to the girl and she giggled, slapping him on the chest. I
still hadnt seen the guy Silvia indicated until I panned the camera a little to the right.
Damn.
There, at the far right side of the couch, sat one of the most gorgeous guys Id ever seen. I
zoomed in to get a closer look. Despite the dimly lit club, the light found him. He was all long arms
and long legs. His tousled mess of blond hair tumbled down in lazy curls around his
face where the hard angle of his jaw stopped at a strong chin. I immediately wanted to know
how it felt to run my fingertip down the slight cleft there. His cheekbones stood high up on
his face and the long curl of his eyelashes cast his eyes in shadow, making it difficult for me to
determine their color from a distance. The scowl creasing his brow and thinning of his lips reminded
me of those classical paintings of avenging angels. Dark, mysterious. He fit
Sacrifices theme so well.
It didnt help that he wore a shirt half way unbuttoned with an untied red necktie hanging
down his shoulders and rolled up sleeves like hed begun to get dressed and got bored
halfway through. The silver cross hanging from a leather strap around his neck rested where
his collarbones met. A silver rod poked out of his right eyebrow. And simple silver bands
circled each finger. Sexy. Then my gaze wandered to his tight jeans. He had his legs open wide like
he waited for someone to sit on his lap. My throat dried up faster than leaves in summer.
Muscles twitched in the arms he had draped over the top of the couch while he tapped some
rhythm with his fingers. He seemed on edge despite the relaxed pose. Already, my camera
loved him.
I swallowed, squeezing my cameras shutter shut. The way he stared at the dance floor, so
focused, made me wonder what could catch his attention that way. I let out a slow breath. I
just had to know.
It took three more candid shots, him never moving other than his tapping, until I realized
Silvia was speaking to me.
Dakota Collins!
I lowered my camera. The use of my full name never came with good consequences. I
blinked my vision back at her even if I wanted to spend the rest of the night taking his
picture. Sweat rose over my upper lip. I may just have found my subject for the Spring
Showcase.
The only problem?
I had to find a way to convince him to be in my project. Something told me this wouldnt
be easy. By the way my heart beat in my ears, drowning out the music and Silvia having a fit
in front of me, I wanted it too much. I wanted him too much.
This the guy you were saying? I showed Silvia the picture Id taken. This seemed to
pacify her because she sidled closer, mesmerized like a moth to a flame.
Luka Visraya, she said with a moan like shed just tasted the most luscious chocolate
before taking a long gulp of her cocktail. The name didnt register. Silvia must have noticed
my blank expression because she continued. Hes the bassist for Vicious.
Still no pings of recognition in my head.
She slapped her thigh. Where have you been? Its weird that you havent heard of them.
Their songs are on the radio like every second.
Of course I hadnt heard of them. I liked listening to country and I hardly kept up with
current events.
Name one? Okay, I had a name. Luka. Exotic. A bassist. Part of a band I should know
about. So hes famous. I slowly felt my chances of asking him to be my subject slip from my
grasp. If he was someone famous, fat chance hed say yes to a graduating photography
student like me. I just about deflated when Silvia mentioned one of their songs. Oh, I know
that one! By accident. It played in the radio of the cab I rode in to Sacrifice. I stared at the picture of
him then lifted my gaze to where he sat. Hes gone.
What? Silvia whipped around in time to come face to face with a wall of man. Whoa!
She pushed at him. Watch it, buddy!
Give me the camera, he said in a threatening tone.
Big. Beefy. Bald. The three Bs that made up the quintessential bodyguard.
I clutched my DSLR closer to my chest and looked up at him with my good eye. And why
would I do that? The patch didnt seem to intimidate him because he just reached out. So
much for my Bond villain aspirations. I moved away from his grubby hand. No one touched
my camera but me.
Despite her size, Silvia came between me and the mountain. Were here to cover Sacrifice
for our college paper. You dont have the right to take away my colleagues camera.
Yeah! You give it to him, Silvy.
Not that I couldnt take care of myself. But if Silvia wanted to play hero, I wouldnt stand
in her way.
What seems to be the problem here? a soft, authoritative voice chimed in.
The bodyguard moved aside to reveal the Gothic Lolita. She stood at just about the same
height as Silvia, but she possessed an older aura even if she seemed to be our age.
Shes been taking pictures, Baldy said.
Lolitas kohl eyes landed on me then shifted to my camera.
As I was saying to the big guy, Silvia explained. My colleague and I are covering the
opening of Sacrifice.
For what paper? Lolita asked without taking her eyes off me. I clutched my camera like
an extra appendage. In some ways it was. After losing half my sight, I relied on my camera
like an extra eye, seeing the world through its lens. I would rather die than lose it.
The Daily Gossip, I said before Silvia could answer just to relieve some of the awkward
tension building in me under her gaze. We study at Wexler U.
She tilted her head, crossing her arms.
Okay, I quickly stammered out. I get that the name of our paper sounds like a tabloid,
but the Daily Gossip is a cool campus paper. The last part maybe only I believed since Silvia raised
her eyebrow at me, but Lolita and the mountain didnt have to know that.
No one spoke after that. Even in a noisy club, the silence in our group rang in my ears. Not
waiting for the situation to get any more awkward, I plowed forward with my own selfish
intensions.
You know Luka. I said it more as a statement, but it came out like a question.
Lolita nodded.
Im Dakota Collins and Im graduating this spring. I was wondering if Luka would be
interested in
What would I be interested in? a smooth voice joined our group.
The walls of my throat closed, chocking the rest of what I had to say. All eyes turned to
Luka. Silvia dropped her empty glass. It bounced off the bodyguards shoe and landed in a
clatter but didnt break. Even with my height, I still had to look up at him.
What are you doing here? Lolita admonished. You should be backstage.
One side of his lips came up. God. Without the scowl, his face lit up. I had to stop the urge
to lift my camera and start snapping away. And his eyes were piercing blue. The kind that
stretched over my mothers farm in the summer. Damn.
Seeing him up close, I knew Id give any one of my kidneys for a chance to take his picture
in a formal shoot.
We have five minutes. Chill, Yana. He tugged at one of her pigtails.
Luka, Silvia managed. Im a big fan. Will you sign my chest?
Bypassing my petite colleague, Lukas intensely blue gaze studied me. He reached out and
I flinched back. His fingers almost grazed my patch. What the hell was the matter with him?
Trying to touch my eye patch was tantamount to poking a bandage over a wound and asking
the person if it hurts.
Gothic LolitaYanayanked Lukas arm down. Im so sorry! Her whole aura changed.
She went from all business to panicky. My brother sometimes forgets his manners. He didnt
mean anything about touching your She bit her lower lip, maybe trying to keep herself
from saying the wrong thing.
That little faux pas cleared my head of the Luka haze and spurred me into action. Luka,
will you let me take your picture for my final project? I didnt know where my courage came
from, but I knew if I didnt take this chance, Id regret it. I had to have him as my subject.
Still not removing his gaze from my face, like my patch transfixed him, he tilted his head
to one side very much like his sister did earlier.
Luka, dont! Yana said, but from the consideration on Lukas face, she was too late.
Youre a photographer?
Yes. I nodded, in case the word wasnt enough.
And youd like me to be the subject of your project?
God yes! This time, I could only nod. I didnt want him to see how eager I was. And I
couldnt live with myself if I embarrassed myself further.
I waited with baited breath.
It seemed everyone in our group waited with baited breath for what the golden god had to
say about my brazen request. I soon realized when Luka spoke, everyone listened. The way he
pronounced every word precisely yet still spoke so smoothly, like butter on warm toast,
captured everyones attention. To say he captivated us was an understatement. Something in
me certainly wanted to hear him keep speaking. He could read from an accounting textbook
in that voice and no one would get bored.
I need to know that youre good, he finally said.
Something about his words seemed to hold a different meaning. I must have missed the
alcohol in the soda Silvia had given me. Maybe I was drunk and this was all a blackout dream.
What are you saying? Yana faced Luka all the way now, her petite form all rigid.
He unleashed a full on megawatt smile my way. I almost had to cover my eye from it. At
my side, Silvia gasped. Her long nails dug into my arm. Like staring at the sun, I couldnt take my
gaze away from him no matter how bad it was for me.
Were about to perform. I want you to take several pictures then send them to Yana. If
she approves, well see about your request.
Then, like smoke, he disappeared into the crowd.
Oh fuck. Silvia cleared her throat. Anyone heres panties still dry?
Chapter Two
Challenge
Before the rock god turned around, I distinctly caught the hint of challenge in his blue
eyes. It was as if he expected me to go beyond what he thought of me. If I really wanted Luka
to be the subject of my introspective, I had to prove myself. I wasnt above showing someone
what I could do with a camera. My four years in college taught me never to be shy about my
talents.
Bring it on.
Challenge accepted.
Here. Yana shoved a card between my face and the digi screen of my camera. Id been
adjusting the settings to accommodate the lighting I knew the stage would have. I took the
card and read the elegant script on a white background.
Yana Visraya, Band Manager.
She rolled her blue eyes and sighed. My brother can be a monumental pain in my ass
sometimes. She pointed at the card. My email address is on the back. Better have those
pictures to me by morning or this, she gestured between me and the stage, isnt gonna
happen. And I better not see those pictures leaked on the Net.
I snorted. Im not that kind of photographer.
Yana merely raked her sharp gaze up and down my body. I forced myself not to flinch
beneath her assessment. She sniffed then let the bodyguard part the sea of people for her. As
soon as she disappeared, I scanned the club for the best spot to capture the stage. Silvia
bounced into my field of vision, distracting me from the task that meant life or death for my
career. As a Philosophy major, she always liked saying seize the day. Well, this was me carpe
diem-ing, baby.
What? I barked down at her. I didnt know when the band would begin performing. Luka
said they had five minutes. That was a long time ago. I pocketed Yanas card without
confirming that her email address was indeed on the back. The annoyance on her face told
the truth for her.
Silvia poked my chest. Better send me one of those pictures for the feature.
Damn. I completely forgot about the Daily Gossip. Whatll your feature be about so I
know which photos to send?
The bands been on their world tour this year. I heard they had to take a break because
Luka had a meltdown.
The information piqued my interest. Meltdown?
No one really knows what that was about. Their PR, and Im assuming that Goth girl,
Yana, did a really bang up job keeping things quiet. The fact that theyre here instead of
Germany is an indication that somethings up.
You sound like you follow more than just their music. I pulled up Lukas picture on my
cameras digi screen again. The scowl on his face. What could it mean? And what was he
looking at on the dance floor?
Im surprised you dont know anything about Vicious if youre planning on using Luka for
your final project.
It was a spur of the moment thing, but trust me, I glanced at the stage. The guy with
messy, spikey hair flirting with Yana took a seat behind the drum set. After tonight, thats
gonna change. Im getting Luka as my subject. I returned my gaze to Silvia. So, your
feature?
She pursed her lips. Just send me one with all the band members in it.
I nodded once then pushed past her. The verdant cry of an electric guitar caused the crowd
in the club to surge forward. I paused on my way to a corner of the bar to minimize the
pushing and shoving, protecting my camera by curving my shoulders forward and circling it
with my arms. Several bodyguards similar to the one who wanted my camera appeared at the
bottom of the stage, creating a human barricade. I shifted my gaze back to the stage as
women screamed and reached for the band members who now converged together.
A girl with wavy brown hair reached for the mic stand. Instead of pulling it toward her, she
arched her body toward it until her red lips touched the microphone. She wore a floor-length
leather dress and fingerless gloves. A silver bolt like Lukas pierced her eyebrow and spider
bites clung to the corner of her lower lip. A spotlight emphasized the paleness of her skin.
Without thinking, I lifted my camera and captured the moment forever just before she
spoke. She introduced the band, starting with the drummer, Dray. He executed a complicated
drum solon that brought the crowd to life. Then she pointed at Luka. Once she said his name,
his fingers plucked at the flame blue bass strapped to his body. The women screamed,
chanting his name as the notes his instrument released into the air eerily echoed heartbeats.
Lastly, the girl turned toward the lead guitarist. Her expression went from all business to
fondness. I snapped another picture. Clearly, even without introducing him as Demitri, she
had feelings for him. The heat in her eyes said so, and the answering hunger in his confirmed
it. Twenty mega pixels didnt lie. I caught the pinks on her cheeks. Their eyes held a moment
before the girl introduced herself as Phoenix McKay and that they were Vicious.
The first notes of the song I recognized from the cab caught the crowds attention enough
that I managed to make my way to the far corner of the bar. Without asking for permission,
and seeing as no one seemed to be ordering drinks anymore, I climbed up onto the bar, took a
knee, and pointed my camera toward the stage, prepared to watch the concert through my
lens. I rested my elbow on my thigh, using my arm as a makeshift tripod. I didnt worry about
slipping. My boots had enough traction in them despite the stiletto. I just needed to make
sure my hands didnt shake so each shot wasnt wasted.
First, I concentrated on the shot Silvia expected from me. The perfection of my vantage
point manifested as a picture of all the band members complete with the crowd in shadow. At
first glance, it seemed like disembodied hands were reaching for the band. But no matter how
good the picture turned out, I couldnt pat my back just yet. I had a long way to go if I wanted Luka as
my subject.
I zoomed all the way in on the drummer. He had his eyes closed as if he didnt need to see
the drums to play. The beats his sticks produced danced in my chest. I bided my time, waiting
for the right moment. A chorus of the wailing song later, Dray opened his eyes. He stared out
into the crowd full on. I snapped the picture then studied the finished product on the digi
screen. I managed to get him with both his hands in the air just about to bring the sticks
down on the cymbals.
Glorious!
A grin tugged at my lips.
When I looked at Dray through my lens again, he had his eyes closed once more. I had a
feeling he wouldnt be opening them for a long while. So I moved on to the lead guitarist.
Immediately, I understood why Phoenix blushed. Without a shirt on, he stood there all tall
and broad-shouldered, at just about the same height as Luka. But where Luka seemed made
of lean muscle, Demitri was more ripped. Muscles rippled down his chest to his slim hips.
Jeans as tight as Lukas clung to the rest of his gorgeousness. Long, black hair rested on his shoulders.
Several thin leather braids lined his left wrist while he had a whole sleeve of
tattoos on his right arm, ending at a script that circled where his heart would be. When I
zoomed in I gasped. The script spelled Phoenix, stylized to look like a bird in flight. If I
thought nothing was going on between those two before, I couldnt deny it anymore.
Demitri executed a couple headbangs. I zoomed out and took six successive photos of him,
capturing the movement until he settled back. He lifted his foot onto the amp and stayed that
way, all his concentration on his fingers flying up and down the bridge of his electric guitar.
Two down, now I moved the lens to the lead singer.
Phoenix sang into the mic as if she was making love to it. There was something almost
pornographic about the way she straddled the mic stand as she reached out toward the crowd.
I took a deep breath and snapped a couple shots. Those disembodied hands against her paper
white skin looked almost eerie yet ethereal. I looked down at my digi screen again and
noticed that I managed to capture her smile. Just a tiny curving of her lips upward.
Damn. Did my camera love everyone in this band?
I began to doubt if anyone of them took horrible pictures. Even in motion they seemed to
be in a pose perfect for a dynamic still shot. As I took a few more of the other bandmates, I
soon realized Luka wasnt the only one I wanted for my introspective. The goal of the project
was to unearth the essence of the subject. Vicious was my subject and I wanted to show the
world the essence of each bandmate as a collective whole. I could see the concept materialize
before my eyes once the wailing lyrics of the third song reached my ears.
Closing my eye, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Now for the bandmate Id been
saving for last.
I raised my camera until I saw him through my viewfinder. My finger hovered over the
shutter release, ready to get him in his element. Luka positioned himself at the darkest part
of the stage. He angled his body away from the crowd. Shadow shrouded his face.
I bit my lip then cursed under my breath. I should have known. He wasnt gonna make
this easy for me. The audience must be wondering what the hell had gotten into him.
Using my free hand, I propelled myself off the bar. If Luka wanted to play hard to get then
so be it. I wasnt afraid to get closer. The challenge in his eyes before he left for the stage was real
after all. I pushed through the ocean of bodies. My nose wrinkled at the perfume, sweat,
cologne combo they emitted. Breathing through my mouth, I ignored the exclamations from
women and men I elbowed out of the way until I reached the side of the stage where Luka hid
himself, probably thinking how clever he was by hiding from the photographer.
But, see, thats the thing about photographers. It was in our blood to get the right shot.
The perfect picture. If we had to climb a tree, lie on the ground, suspend ourselves in the air, we
would do it.
Luka had another thing coming if he thought I would give up that easily.
I ducked beneath the arms of the bodyguard-human-chain and crab-crawled my way to the
stage. I waited for someone to notice me, but since the band sucked up all the attention in the club, I
let my worries of getting caught go and focused on the job. Right below where Luka
stood, I adjusted my cameras settings to compensate for the lack of proper lighting. I knew I wouldnt
use my flash. It might distract him. Or worse, cause him of fall off the stage. I didnt want any of my
future subjects getting hurt.
Yes. I thought of them now as my future subjects. I knew for a fact that Yana wouldnt be
able to take her eyes away from the moments I caught tonight. If she did then I still had
much to learn and didnt really deserve to graduate that year.
Focusing on more positive thoughts, I lifted my camera and waited for the right moment
to release the shutter. I made a mental note to thank the Daily Gossips editor-in-chief for
assigning me to cover Sacrifice. I wouldnt have met Luka otherwise.
Two songs later, I still hadnt moved from my spot. And Luka seemed content to stay in
the shadows, plucking at the strings of his base. My calves were beginning to cramp and lactic acid
crawled up my arms, making them less and less steady by the minute. It became a battle
of wills. I had to get a picture of Luka while playing or this deal was off.
Gritting my teeth against the pain, I shifted ever so slightly. Right at that moment,
blinding light flooded the stage in conjunction with the crescendo of a song. I had to close my eye
against the glare, thankful the patch covered the other. My finger depressed the shutter
release three times without my having to see through the lens. A white ball burned behind
my eyelid. Once the light receded, I fell on my ass, clutching my camera close.
Phoenix introduced the next song while I blinked my vision back. Still seeing the ball of
light, I immediately scanned through my gallery. When I reached the one I took of Luka, a
huge grin stretched my lips.
Gotcha.
Chapter Three
Research
Distracted by thoughts of Vicious and their overall gorgeousness, I trudged into my small
one-bedroom apartment and switched on the lights. Kicking the door shut, I headed straight
for my laptop. A couple years back, I had won a national amateur photography competition.
The money after taxes kept me in school and living comfortably. With it, I left the dorms and
got my apartment, conveniently located a block off campus. But I didnt rest on my laurels.
Id saved as much of the cash as I could, knowing I couldnt live on it alone. I had to make
this project with Luka work because getting Yana to sign off on it meant catapulting my
career years beyond my goalsa major rock star in a multi-platinum recording band did that.
The multi-platinum part I got from Silvia before I left Sacrifice. I promised to send her the
photo of the whole band on stage tonight. But instead of hooking my camera up to my laptop,
I immediately used my Google powers.
Any photographer worth their salt researched their subject. Whennot ifI got the go
ahead to take pictures of the band for my introspective, I needed to come in knowing more
about each of them. I began with Wiki and worked my way out.
The band consisted mostly of family members. Besides Phoenix, Demitri and Dray were
brothersshould have noticed the resemblance there sooner. I slapped my forehead. I
already knew Luka and Yana were siblings, but I didnt know that Demitri and Luka were first
cousins. Talk about band of brothers. What happened if they argued about something? I
shook my head. God, they must have epic screaming matches in the studio. Lots of bands
broke up for less. YetI tilted my head to the side, pursing my lipssince they were family, it might
work to their advantage.
Phoenix joined the band during their last year in high school. She was a transfer student.
Apparently, Demitris family owned and ran the Barinkoff Academy located in the Caucasus
mountain range.
Huh. Weird location for a school.
Then I got to the ultra-exclusive part. It seemed you had to be super smart to be admitted.
Everyone in the band had Mensa worthy IQs. This included Yana and several of their
entourage. They all went to Barinkoff. Wow.
I rubbed my chin, staring at the screen like it was a window into Vicious world.
Clicking on several links, I kept reading.
The most interesting info about the bandto me, anywayhad to be their independence.
They financed everything, from producing their EPs to their tours. According to one article,
the money didnt matter to them. Demitri and Luka wrote all their songs. From time to time
they collaborated with Phoenix. They created music they wanted to put out there and didnt
want anyone else having a say in their creative process.
That I could understand. I sat back in my swivel chair until the backrest creaked. Id hate for someone
to tell me how to take pictures. This was why I wanted to freelance as much as
possible, be my own boss, travel the world. Be it for magazines or newspapers, so long as I
didnt have to become a wedding photographer. Which was what usually happened to those
who fell through the cracks. I even dreamed of showing in the top galleries around the world,
selling my photos at top dollar to anyone who wanted them. So I applauded Vicious for
sticking it to The Man and doing it their way.
Because of their independence, they were the first band in history to dominate the top one
hundred rock charts on iTunes. I didnt believe the article until I visited the website to
download some of their songs. My eye almost fell out of my head; I was staring so hard at the
screen. When the article said dominated they meant literally. The first ten songs on the chart were all
from Vicious. I didnt even know that was possible.
Da-yam! I sucked in a breath and let it out slowly.
No one had ever come close to the kind of fame the band garnered since they burst into
the music scene four years ago.
Right after high school, I said to myself. Not to mention the awards. Vicious was a
mainstay on every awards show out there. I shook my head.
They say dont believe everything you read, but I hadnt even gotten to the gossip yet. All
the articles Id read so far were from reputable papers and magazines. Rolling Stone hailed
them one of the most influential bands in history, right up there with the Beatles. The
freakin Beatles! Even I knew who they were.
The more I learned about the band the more incompetent I felt. Most of them were about
my age and already they had achieved so much. To think I was worried about my final project
and graduating when Vicious was already touring the world to sold out shows.
After downloading all their songs, something Silvia said that night moved my search for
information into the TMZ arena. I skipped the parts detailing typical rock star behavior. I
didnt need to know. What interested me had to do with more recent events.
Indeed Vicious was on their world tour before they decided to push some of the shows to
until after the holidays. This happened all the time, wrote one blogger, but the reasons always varied.
One example used was Green Day postponing shows because one of their band
members had to go to rehab. Since all members of Vicious were accounted for tonight, I
didnt get the impression that any of them had an addiction problem. Then again, what did I
know?
That was when I wandered into the message boards.
Huge mistake.
Lots of speculation, but no real information. Some were saying the band reached a tipping
point in their career and had to take a break. Others blamed exhaustion. I would have agreed
with the second one if it werent for the enthusiastic performance I just witnessed a few
hours ago. Then there were rumors about infighting in the band. Some compared them to
Fleetwood Mac where band members were sleeping with each other and causing friction in
the bands dynamic. From what I saw, Yana and Dray flirted, but it didnt seem like they took
it to the next level considering they were cousins. I shuddered. Demitri and Phoenix,
however, definitely had something going on.
Come on, you wouldnt tattoo a band members name on your chest if there wasnt
anything there. And the only reason I spotted Phoenixs name on Demitris chest was because
of the sex stares they were throwing at each other.
I nodded, scrolling down on the screen, definitely something there. Google images didnt
lie either. Although, surprisingly, there werent that many pictures of Vicious as a band
outside of promotional pics and paparazzi shots at events.
Silvia must have been right when she said they were good at keeping their private lives a
secret. They must have had a really kickass PR team. I made a mental note not to
underestimate Yana. No matter how young she looked, she seemed competent at her job as
band manager. Many of the articles I read lauded her as one of the best in the business,
taking an independent band to the heights of stardom only big name labels were capable of. I
guess it really didnt hurt to have money to back up your dream.
Speaking of dream, I glanced at my digital clock and cursed the message boards seven
ways to Sunday. Total time suck. In a couple of hours the sun would rise and I hadnt started
on the pictures.
I quickly plugged in my camera and uploaded everything I took that night, including
pictures from other events I attended that week.
I was arranging the files into folders when my phone buzzed.
Without taking my eye off the screen, I put the call on speaker. Yeah.
Wheres my picture?
Silvias shrill question creased my brow. Dont you ever sleep?
Said one insomniac to another.
That got her a chuckle. Youll get your picture. Im just cleaning it up now.
A pause. What were you doing all this time? You left the club before I did.
Ive been looking into Vicious. Damn, Silvia, I really want them for my introspective.
Not just Luka?
I shook my head even if I knew she couldnt see me, still not removing my eyeball from
the screen, clicking on my mouse frantically. After last night? I need to cover the whole
band. Theyre beautiful. I want to tell their story through pictures, you know?
I hear you. Silvias voice got swoony. Can you imagine? Theyre our age and already
megastars.
The reminder bit me hard. I would have to never sleep again if I wanted to reach the level
of Vicious. Photographers reached rock star status because of the famous people they worked
with. The better your photographs were the more people would want to work with you. Plus,
finding a style all your own helped too. I loved turning photographs into digital art,
sometimes transposing images together to make a whole new image. I could make the layers
so seamless no one would be able to tell that what they were looking at was actually a collage of
images. I didnt even use stock images, liking to take my own pictures and using what I
had. That was what got me the win years ago. I was hoping the same aesthetic would get
Yanas approval.
I opened my email browser and attached the file to Silvias address and clicked send. Your
photo should be in your inbox now.
Refreshing. Another pause then a low whistle. God, girl. You are way too talented for
the Daily Gossip. This is like the best picture Ive ever seen of the band. It looks so dynamic.
I just softened up the colors and cleaned up the edges. The picture is largely untouched.
She must have heard the shrug in my voice because she clucked. Dont be modest. I know
what they say about you on campus.
Okay, that got her a blush. I hated what my professors said. Many of them used my photos
as examples in their classes and I hadnt even graduated yet. A lot of them begged me to be
their student assistant. Not once did I say yes because I liked my freedom too much.
Is there anything else you need from me? I asked impatiently. I had a long morning
ahead of me. No matter how beautiful the members of Vicious were, I couldnt send my
photos to Yana raw. I really wanted to show her what I could do.
Nope. You did great, babe!
I reached for my phone to end the call when Silvia said, You better give me the inside
scoop when you get this job.
Dropping my hand to my lap, I finally tore my concentration from the picture of Dray Id
been tinting. I wanted to amplify the severity of his gaze, how intensely he stared out into the crowd,
like he commanded them to worship him.
Its not a job, Silvy. No matter the confidence in my words or my thoughts, my heart still
bounced around all four corners of my chest.
You better treat it like one because if you do well this will mean your career.
I had to roll my eye at that. I know, Mom!
Just
That one word sobered me. What?
Just promise me that when you do get it that you dont let their world suck you in.
Weird words coming from Silvia. I would have thought she would be the first person to
want to jump into the world of Vicious. She was the closest person I called friend on campus.
I usually just focused on my school work. If I was being honest with myself, the concern in
Silvias words actually touched me.
I promise, came my soft reply.
She seemed satisfied because her next words were, And you better get me a naked picture
of Luka, preferably in the shower!
I ended the call then, surprised I didnt have the urge to throw my phone across the room.
Chapter Four
Contract
The dreams always started the same way.
Im running through the woods. Panic clutches at my chest and refuses to let go. This
must have been years ago because my hair still reaches below my shoulders. I look back. A
pair of large hands grab for me from the darkness. I duck then weave between the trees. My
feet are bare, sometimes slipping on moss or forest slime. But I keep running.
The only sound I hear is my own breathing. I pant, my lungs begging for every cold inhale.
The low bushes catch my dress, tearing the fabric, leaving slips of white behind. I look over
my shoulder again. The hands are still there, getting closer no matter how hard I run.
My thighs burn. My arms flail like Im swimming, pushing branches aside. I need to get
away. I dont know where Im going. All I know is I have to get away.
Then I fall.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
I snorted awake, pushing off the pillow stuck to my face by sweat and drool. The banging
continued, getting more insistent. I groaned. The pounding echoed in my head, like Id woken
up hung over. Trying to ignore it, I reached for a pillow and shoved it over my head. The angry
thumping didnt let up, so I rolled onto my back and smoothed my hair out of my face. The
strands clung to my cheeks using the same sweat-drool adhesive. My tongue stuck to the roof
of my mouth like Velcro and it tasted like rank armpit. It took me a second to connect the
noise to my front door.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
I covered my good eye from the piercing sunlight streaming through my bedroom window
and tore my tongue off the roof of my mouth to say, Coming!
The banging stopped. So, it really wasnt in my head. My voice sounded hoarse to my ears.
Like I was coming down with something. What time did I go to sleep? I was pretty sure the
sun had already risen when I flopped onto my bed, clothes and all. I took quick inventory of
myself.
The leather pants from last night adhered like a second skin. I wouldnt enjoy pealing
them off later. My shirt and hair smelled of smoke. Ugh! I needed a shower. And a change of
sheets since said smoke also clung to them now. When I didnt move from my bed fast
enough, the banging resumed.
Swinging my legs over the side, I reached for my patch. My heart spasmed. It had come
loose. I reached for the thin strap behind my head and tightened it. Once secure, I heaved my
jelly limbs up and trudged toward the door.
A blond head with purple streaks greeted me when I peeked out of the eyehole. Leaning
my head against the frame, I breathed for a second, rubbing my face.
Whats taking you so long? Yana said from the other side. I can see your shadow
through the door slit.
Sending out a little prayer of strength to anyone who would listen, I slipped the chain off,
twisted the lock, and yanked the door open. Today, the Gothic Lolita wore a corseted number
with voluminous sleeves, a short ruffled skirt, and striped knee socks in mary janes.
Everything followed a black and purple theme. Even her lips. The bottom black and the top
purple. She smelled of jasmine. Almost cloyingly sweet. I had to blink several times to make
sure I wasnt dreaming her standing just outside my apartment.
I must have been staring dumbly because she said, Arent you going to invite me in?
How old are you? came my first question. More like an innocent blurt. The way she
pouted, I didnt think she took it that way.
Didnt your mother teach you never to ask a woman her age?
She did. But right now Im still too sleepy to heed her. I punctuated my words with a
yawn, which I barely covered with my hand.
Yana grimaced. Dont tell me you just woke up. She eyed my clothes.
Yes, Im still wearing the same ones from last night. Without waiting for her to say
anything else, I turned around and waved her inside. Close the door behind you.
She did as she was told while I padded to the coffee maker and poured myself a cup from
the pot I put on before I crashed and spooned diabetes-inducing amounts of sugar into it. I
took a life-giving gulp then turned around and tilted the cup toward Yana, who had been
looking my place over with serious interest. She waved my silent offer away.
Unlike you, I have been up for hours. Ive gotten more done this morning than anyone
can in a whole day.
My eyebrows came up. Looking at you? I dont doubt it. But unlike most people, I do
most of my work at night. I sleep when I find the time. You just happened to have arrived just as I was
waking up. Okay, the last part was clearly a lie, but I was pretty much planning on
getting up anyway. I padded to my couch and slumped into it, the coffee sloshing but not
spilling. I took another gulp and pointed at the large ottoman opposite the coffee table
overflowing with photography manuals. Like some dainty ballerina, Yana arranged herself on
the seat.
No bodyguards today? I set down the cup and tidied up a bit, closing and stacking the
manuals. I did most of my apartment cleaning on weekends, but Yana was right when she
asked about my mother. The woman taught me to be neat when there was company. Even
now I could hear her voice inside my head telling me to wash the dishes Id left in the sink.
Theyre downstairs. Yana removed a manila envelope from the flat, oversized clutch she
had with her. From the envelope she retrieved printed out versions of the pictures Id sent
her and laid them out on the newly cleared coffee table. I didnt have to look at them, already
knowing which six Id attached to the email. One for each band member, one of the band
from far away, and a composite of all the individual shots to make up a band portrait.
You certainly have talent, she said like she hated to admit it.
Thank you?
Her blue eyes, so similar to her brothers, narrowed. Dont get smart with me.
I ran my fingers through my hair, stopping at the knot at the back that kept my patch in
place then dropped my hand. The caffeine and sugar finally kicked in enough for me to ask.
How did you find where I live?
Yana relaxed into a confident smirk on her dual-toned lips. Youre just asking me that
now?
Just woke up, remember? I needed a minute to catch up with current events.
And a shower. She wrinkled her button nose at me. Anyway, no one is hard to find when
you know the right people. I even know based on your recent browser history that youve
been researching the band.
Now that scared the shit out of me. My gut twisted in knots. For a second I doubted if using Vicious
as my subject was a good idea. You know about that?
I even know that you downloaded their songs for the first time last night. I wouldnt be
here if you didnt take steps to get to know Vicious. Yana waved like the information she just
dropped on me didnt matter. Plus theres nothing on the Net that we didnt put there.
I mouthed wow before bringing my cup back to my lips, letting the bitter sweet coffee
wake me up even more. I got the feeling I needed all cylinders firing when dealing with Yana.
So, she pointed at Lukas picture. I was particularly proud of that one. The blast of light
made him look like the avenging angel Id imagined but instead of a sword he wielded a
kickass bass. You want to take pictures of Luka for your final project.
Actually, I leaned forward, resting my arms on my knees. I pointed at each of the band
members. I want to take pictures of the band as a whole. Thats why I sent you pictures of all of
them.
Yanas eyes flitted from photo to photo, considering each like she was looking at them for
the first time. I felt the shrewdness in her from across the table. She calculated all the
possibilities before committing to anything. Seeing her work in person, I couldnt doubt
anymore what was written about her in the countless articles Id read after getting home.
Tell me about your final project.
In my element, I said with confidence, Its a ten piece introspective. To graduate, I must
capture the essence of my subject. Since Vicious is what I want to work with, I want to look at the
band as a whole and dissect its different parts.
Yana nodded the whole time I spoke. How did you put these pictures together? She ran
her hand over the six sitting side by side on the table.
I use computer software to clean up the photos. My forte is in photo manipulation. I
pointed at the sixth photo.
The competition you won your sophomore year. You seamlessly combined ten
photographs to make one portrait.
I shouldnt be impressed since nothing could top finding my address and knowing about
my browser history, but still. Some might feel uncomfortable about having their privacy
invaded this way. I wasnt one of them. Remember giving my kidney? If this was it then I
wasnt letting a little background check bother me.
Thats what I was thinking for Vicious, I said after I nodded. I want to pick out nine
pictures from the series I plan to take of them and meld them all together to create the tenth
photograph, which will tell the bands story from start to finish.
A long pause followed. I watched the gears in Yanas head working. She said there was
nothing on the internet that they didnt put there. If that was trueand I really didnt have
any evidence to the contraryshe would have to put a large amount of trust in me to get the
job done tastefully. She, of all people, should know I wouldnt do anything to jeopardize my
career before it even gets off the ground. And if she did conduct a background check on me,
she would know I didnt do anything sensational. I wouldnt sell the photos to the tabloids or
websites. My reputation as a photographer hung in the balance. If she said no then Id have to find
something else for the introspective. No hard feelings.
Her eyes kept stopping at Lukas photo.
Finally she picked it up and the knot on her brow eased and she smiled fondly at it. Ive
never seen him this way. Lukas always been a curious creature. He does everything on his
own terms or doesnt do it at all. After you left the club, he made sure I take your proposal
seriously.
My heart leapt at her admission. Luka vouched for me? But why? He didnt even know me.
I dont understand it either, she said as if in response to my silent question. He hasnt
seen these pictures. No one but you and I have. She returned the photo to the table and
opened the manila envelope again. From it she took out a stack of papers stapled at the top
corner. She slid it to me. This is a non-disclosure contract.
Not picking up the paper, I asked, What for?
If you want to work with the band, you need access to them, correct?
Yes. I couldnt take my gaze away from the contract. I licked my lips. I was thinking a
couple sessions.
At the corner of my eye, I saw Yana shake her head. If you want to expose the bonds that
tie the band together, you will need unlimited access to each member. For you to do that, you
will need to be where they are at all times. Everyone around Vicious for an extended period
signs one of these. We cannot have you spilling our secrets.
I swallowed. Hard. Still tasting the black bitterness of the coffee beneath the sweetness. If
I understood Yana correctly, she wanted me to stay with the band. Essentially, live with them.
That certainly made my life a whole lot easier. But Silvias words from a couple hours ago
rang in my ears. Did I want to be like Alice and jump into the rabbit hole? Did I really want to meet
the Queen of Hearts and the Mad Hatter?
Here, in my tiny apartment, the white rabbit disguised as a Gothic Lolita girl offered me a
chance of a lifetime. Many of the people on the message boards would kill for this
opportunity. If I signed the contract, I would get an all-access pass.
Think about it. Yanas words snapped my head up. I met her intense stare just as she
stood up to leave. Have your lawyer look over the contract. If you have terms that you would
like added, set a meeting with me and we can talk it over.
I didnt know what to say.
But, she raised a finger, I caution you.
The pit of my stomach churned.
If you sign that contract, you are all in. There will be nothing in the world of Vicious you
cannot unsee. Many cant handle the pressure. Many break. I dont want you to be one of
those people.
With a final considering glance, Yana left me on the couch speechlessand maybe just a
little nervous.
Okay, maybe a lot nervous.
What was I getting myself into?
Chapter Five
Decision
Yanas non-disclosure contract couldnt have come at a more stressful time. I spent my
final exam week in a daze. I barely remembered reviewing for any of my tests and I was pretty
sure I flunked two of them. Did this bother me? Not as much as the contract sitting on my
coffee table. I kept passing it by pretending it wasnt there. I wanted the opportunity, dont get me
wrong. But the finality of the contract intimidated the hell out of me.
Come Friday, I finally got the courage to pick the stapled pieces of paper up and take it to
the closest thing I had for a lawyer. I needed to approve the photos going into the final issue of the
Daily Gossip anyway, so I thought now was as good a time as any to face the editor-in-chief.
Camera slung over my neck like a medal, I took the communications building steps two at
a time. The Daily Gossip office was found on the top floor. Someones idea of a joke for sure.
I treated it as my cardio for the day. Thank God I only had to make the trek once a month. My
assignments were usually given via text message. The writers had to be at the office at least
once a day. No wonder Silvia kept a toned body. All that bar hopping and club floor booty
shaking alone couldnt keep her in shape. I still hadnt seen her final draft of the Sacrifice feature
turned Vicious cover story. I had at least five pictures coming out in the latest issue, so it didnt hurt
to check on Silvia too and maybe update her on the turn of events concerning my final project.
I could feel the contract burning a hole in my messenger bag like I was making a deal with
the devil somehow. I hadnt even read the thing, so scared one paper cut would mean sealing
the deal. I figured Id leave the heavy lifting to Larry, said law student editor-in-chief. Hed know
what to do.
As soon as I turned the knob into the Daily Gossip, a flurry of activity greeted me.
Proofreaders and layout artists hopped from one desk to the next, securing approvals. I froze
at the door, my gaze darting from one writer to another. Some were pulling their hair out,
staring into their computer screens like zombies. The sports writer was sobbing at his corner
desk. Silvia had her glasses on and a wrinkled forehead. Id seen warzones on the news look
better than the Daily Gossip office come the final issue.
Cant anyone bring me something not crap? bellowed Larry from his lair.
I flinched at the same time Silvias head snapped up and mouthed save yourself to me.
Taking the hint, I slowly took a step back.
Collins! Get in here! came the bark followed by my almost comical wince. Silvia rolled
her eyes then shook her pretty little head at me. For a second I weighed the merits of staying alive
versus not graduating. Was getting Vicious as my subject worth facing Larry the
Dragon?
Collins!
This time I distinctly felt the floor vibrate beneath my boots. Movement in the office
stopped as all eyes turned on me. Losing all escape options, my shoulders sagged as I trudged
to Larrys section of the office amidst the sympathetic looks of my colleagues. Some of them
even gave me an encouraging pat on the shoulder. As if that would help. But last Id checked I hadnt
done anything to catch the Dragons ire. Then I reminded myself of the Daily Gossip
last issue OCD Larry got around this time of year. Everything had to be perfect.
Rolling my shoulders back and straightening to my full height, I plastered a smile on my
face and opened the door to his lair. Sticking my head in, I said, Whats up?
The Dragon stood behind his desk staring intently at two photographs resting atop sheets
upon sheets of corrected articles. My blood froze. In all my years at the Daily Gossip, never
once did I get chewed out for my photos. I actually thought my coming in for final approval
was more a formality.
Larry ran his hand through his tousled hair. His tie was already gone and his top two
buttons opened. It was that kind of day. I think the only reason the women forgave his
temper was because Laurel Hardyyes, that was his namewas so god damn good looking.
The guys forgave his temper because hed earned their respect as a guys guy. Okay, we might
have dated once. But it didnt work out. I was too free-spirited and Larry liked control. The perfect
recipe for monumental arguments. It might also be because I wasnt the clingy
girlfriend type and Larry liked swooping in for the rescue. Sometimes I suspected he thought
he was Bruce Wayne. He sure came from that kind of family.
Well, get in here. He waved me in without taking his eyes away from the pictures.
Hesitating for a second, I slipped in and closed the door behind me. The finality of the
click made my heart stutter. Taking a deep breath, I forced my feet to bring me closer to his
desk.
Take a look at these, will you? Larrys tone lost some of its gruffness.
Swallowing, I scuttled to his side and dropped my gaze on two of the photos Id submitted
from the last football game. Wexlers team just got into the championship. I gave Larry two
options. One of the quarterback alone and one of the team holding up the division trophy.
Our shoulders touched for the briefest moment before I leaned forward.
What am I looking at? I couldnt hide the nervousness in my voice. Normally, I would be
much calmer. But since Yanas visit to my apartment, I hadnt been myself. Thinking of
staying with Vicious twenty-four seven put me on edge. A part of me was excited, but another
part was scared of what I might find in the bowels of the beast. If everything worked out, I
would receive more than an opportunity of a lifetime. The acid in my stomach churned just
thinking about it.
I think what disturbed me the most was the way Yana looked at me before she left. I
couldnt get her expression out of my head to the point where I almost sketched it on one of
my exam booklets.
Larry sighed, finally bringing me out of my own thoughts. You have to stop sending in
really good pictures. It makes my job of approving them more difficult.
The wave of my relief crushed me. Damn him for making me think I did something wrong.
I pushed away from his desk to crash into his swivel chair.
Jesus, Larry, dont ever do that to me again. I massaged my temples, hoping to relieve
the beginnings of a tension headache. Why cant you use them both?
The Dragon kept his gaze on the photos like they held State secrets. Fine by me since from
where I sat it gave me a perfect view of his fine ass. I lifted my camera and took his picture.
He reminded me of one of the Kennedys by the way he leaned down on his desk, hands
splayed on top. Yes, that family.
Because we only have enough space for one. You know the final issue is packed. With
Silvia changing the feature on me, my patience is pretty much non-existent.
I can see that. I lowered my camera. I never knew you could make a linebacker cry.
Steven had it coming. He didnt check his stats and the oaf was in the fucking game. Why
I let his father convince me he would make a great sports writer is beyond my
understanding.
Maybe because hes the son of a State prosecutor and it wouldnt hurt to have
connections? I chuckled when he glared at me. Hand me Stevens article.
Larry picked up the bleeding piece. He faced me and half sat on his desk, crossing his
arms. I scanned the article filled with red marks and whistled.
I dont know if I should find a tourniquet for this or just burn it, I said, lifting my gaze to meet his. A
lock of his brown hair fell over his forehead. For a second I wanted to reach up
and smooth it away. Then I quickly reminded myself that ship had sailed long ago. But I
couldnt deny a fondness for Larry. Beneath the Dragon is a gummy bear if someone took the
time to break through his tough scales. Unfortunately, I wasnt that girl.
Theres hope for Steven yet if he gets his facts straight.
I leaned forward and searched the floor.
What are you looking for?
Your balls, I said. I think you dropped them somewhere.
Larry tilted his head back and released a laugh straight from a good place. It was a deep,
throaty sound. The kind that helped drop panties. The silence outside his office indicated the whole
staff of the Daily Gossip took a second to think if they should prepare for the end of
the world. If the Dragon laughed, surely an asteroid was barreling to earth at any minute.
I scratched my cheek, refusing to blush. Theres the Larry I know. Take it easy on
everyone out there. They live to worship the ground you walk on. You know that, right?
The telltale knot returned between Larrys bushy eyebrows, but the humor didnt leave his
gray eyes. Get back to work! he barked and the shuffle of feet and the tapping of keyboards
resumed. But the atmosphere in the office definitely shifted from extremely to only mildly
suicidal now. Everyone might survive this particular last issue yet.
Look, I inhaled his woodsy cologne, I get that youre stressed over the final issue. Youll get it
done. You always do. And you have a pool of writers out there working really hard to
make that happen.
Not responding to my team player pep talk, Larry pointed at the mutilated article in my
hands then at the photos. I returned my attention there and nodded.
Since Stevens focus seems to be on the new team dynamic, the trophy photo would work
best. It would boost morale not only for their team but for the student body too.
A half-grin pulled up Larrys lips. Steven!
The linebacker ambled into Larrys office, his nose redder than Rudolfs. My heart
clenched for him. The big guy was such a sweetie. How he managed to ram into other football
players like a bulldozer unapologetically escaped me. On the field he transformed into the
Incredible Hulk.
Larry took the article from my hands and turned to face Steven. He picked up the photo I
indicated would go best with Stevens piece and handed everything to the linebacker.
Just check your stats, Steven, Larry said coolly. Your article is good. Make sure you get
the revision back to me by the end of the day and bring the photo to layout.
Like the gentle giant I knew Steven to be, he reached for his article and the photo like they
were the most precious things in the worldi.e. breakable. The hunch in his shoulders eased
and a glow spread over his face.
Yes, boss. He sniffed one more time before heading out, closing the door behind him.
Why, Laurel Hardy, I teased. If that isnt a compliment coming out of your lips, the
world is upside down.
Glowering, Larry returned to his crossed-arms, half-seated position on his desk. The pose
didnt intimidate me because of the hint of mischief in his eyes.
You should really come in more. He grunted. My blood pressure would thank you for
it.
I shrugged. You know me, Larry. I like sticking it to The Man. You wont catch me behind
a desk unless you chain me to it. Im better for you in the field.
In a rare show of fatigue, Larry squeezed the back of his neck. Sometimes I dont know
whats good anymore.
Feeling the mood in his office shift to more personal territory, I rummaged through my
bag for the contract. If you dont need me to approve any more photos, theres something I
need you to take a look at. I handed the stapled pieces of paper that would forever change
my life to him.
Whats this? Finally taking a crack at writing? he joked then his face sobered. Why
would you have a non-disclosure contract? His concerned gaze pinned me to his chair.
Remember when you assigned Sacrifice to Silvia and me? I intertwined my fingers and
clapped my thumbs. Why I was suddenly nervous, I had no idea. I could feel my fingertips
sweat. Well, Vicious was there and one thing led to another. Basically, if I sign that contract they
will be my subject for the Spring Showcase.
From the look of awe on Larrys face, he knew of the band and how important the
showcase was to me. He was smart enough to put two and two together. He returned his
attention to the contract.
This looks pretty standard to me, but you should have a real lawyer take a look.
I dont have the funds for a real lawyer. I leaned forward again. Youre the closest Ive
got. I just want to know what Im getting into before I sign.
He took a deep breath and sighed it out, flipping the pages. Well, this just states that you
cant reveal anything that you encounter at Lunar Manor and when youre with the band to
the press. Your internet access will be restricted for security reasons as will your contact with the
outside world. His gaze returned to my face. If Im reading this right, it means youre
staying with them for the duration of your project.
I nodded. Yana, their band manager, believes I could take the best pictures if Im actually
with the band all the time. Im inclined to agree with her.
Well, this sounds really open ended to me.
She said I could set up a meeting to set my terms.
Larry huffed then nodded. Good, they are open to a negotiation. Write this down.
I quickly produced a pen and notepad.
First, you need to set a time limit for your stay with them. One month, two? Whatever
time you believe you need to take the pictures then leave. I nodded, scribbling madly. Then
youll want to ensure that you maintain copyright of your photos.
That I know. I had no intention of handing control of my art to them. I knew that from
the second Yana left my apartment.
I shouldnt be happy that I might be rubbing off on you, right?
I pouted at him only so I wouldnt grin. Flirty Larry was as lethal as the Dragon. Been
down that road. Didnt like the scenery. Larry knew this as much as I did.
Lastly, he returned to serious Larry, make sure they cant come after you for whatever
you produce. I get that they are trying to protect their privacy. Other than keeping you from
selling the photos, they dont have the right to dictate the kind of photos you use for the
introspective. Claim artistic license. This contract isnt just for their safety. Make sure its for your
own, too.
Thats all? My pen hovered over the pad.
Other than that, I believe you have a standard contract here. So long as you dont spill any
of their secrets or write a tell all, you should be fine.
I stuffed the pen and pad back into my bag and reached for the contract. When I pulled at
it, Larry didnt let go.
Have dinner with me.
I shook my head. You know thats just the stress talking.
He finally let go and I stood up. Remind me why we broke it off again?
Because we would have killed each other eventually, I said at the door. I dont know
about you, but Im not really the War of the Roses type.
Right.
If you need me for anything else, you have my number. When he nodded, I opened the
door. But before I stepped through, I added, Thank you for this, lifting the contract.
You sure this is what you really want?
I didnt have to hesitate this time. Yes.
Chapter Six
Terms
After my talk with Larry, I emailed Yana my terms. Thinking I would be in for a long wait,
I left to take a shower and settled in for the night. I had a couple of projects I wanted to hand in
earlier than their deadline. At Wexler, exam week stretched for two. They reserved the first week for
juniors and seniors and the second for lowerclassmen. Depending on your point of
view, this could be a really good thing. The freshmen and sophomores liked it because they
got an extra week to study and hand in papers. Much better for the upper classmen because
we got to relax the final week of school and still got the perk of having an extra week for final
requirements.
When I passed my laptop, towel drying my hair, it pinged. A new message. Hair still
dripping, I stared wide-eyed at Yanas reply without clicking to open it. My heart hammered
in my chest. A fast reply could mean two things. One, she was cool with my terms and would
send over the revised contract immediately. Or two, and this one I didnt like, my terms were
too stiff and the deal was off. Even if you hear a hundred good things the one bad thing was
what you clung too.
Get a grip, I told myself.
With a shaking hand, I moved the cursor to the email.
Two minutes later, I brewed a pot of coffee for an all-nighter. I needed to get all my final
requirements done. Yana had agreed to my terms and asked to meet.
The next morning, I sat at a corner table in an empty caf off campus waiting for Yana to
arrive with the revised contract. I twirled my teaspoon in my coffee mug, watching white and
black mix together. I usually preferred my coffee black with lots of sugar when I only slept an hour,
but this morning I needed the comfort of milk. After my previous meeting with Yana, I
got the feeling I would only have a few minutes to prepare. She didnt seem the type to mess
around. Neither did I. This opportunity meant the world to me. Maybe that was why my
stomach tumbled within itself. Too much hung on this one chance. Maybe I accidentally
placed all my eggs in one basket. What if something happened? What if this didnt work out?
Too many what-ifs swirled in my head by the time I finished my first cup. I raised my hand
to order another, but no one came. When I entered the caf, a guy stood at the back of the
counter and a waitress set tables. Since it was early on a Saturday, I wasnt surprised to be the only
patron. The upperclassmen were probably still nursing hangovers from celebrating the
end of exams while the lowerclassmen were nursing headaches from successive all-nighters.
I twisted in my seat in search of the waitress since I made the mistake of sitting at a table
favoring my blind spot. I thought Yana would want the privacy. I should have chosen a table
nearer the entrance. Anyway, I craned my neck but even the guy behind the counter
disappeared. What the?
Suddenly, I felt like an extra in a really bad horror film. Or the rapture happened and I was
left behind. Chuckling at my bad joke, I stood up. They were probably just in the back or the
storeroom getting something. I shuffled toward the counter and leaned against the cool
pastry display case. A cherry Danish called to me.
Shifting to my toes, I craned my neck further to get a better look at the tiny window that
separated the front from what I assumed was the kitchen. Excuse me? I called. Hello?
Something you want?
I whirled around to face the source of the smooth as caramel but a hundred times more
sinful voice I first heard at Sacrifice. A gasp fell out of my lips, not from surprise but from the look of
him. Luka pulled off a black button down shirt and tight leather pants without looking like he tried too
hard. I got the feeling clothes sat contently on him, enhancing his body
instead of just covering it. He wore the same cross around his neck and the bolt on his brow.
Since he had his hands in his pockets, I couldnt be sure if he wore the rings. Rolled up
sleeves bared the cuts of muscle on his forearms. A single braided leather bracelet graced his wrist.
His hair still fell in messy curls, setting off the mischief in his eyes and the grin on his lips.
My lungs burned. Only then did I realize Id been holding my breath. When I finally
remembered to exhale, something sweet yet spicy passed through my nose. It took a second
for my brain to recognize the scent of Lukas cologne or soap or whatever the hell he used. It
reminded me of holiday smells: pumpkin pie, spicy hot chocolate, candy canesthe
yummiest things. I liked it a little too much. Saliva filled my mouth.
What are you doing here? I asked after swallowing. Okay, not the best question to lead
with, but what could I do? My brain seemed to have taken a vacation. I quickly added, Im
supposed to be meeting Yana today.
Luka shruggeda maddeningly casual lift of his shoulders. She got called off on band
business. I volunteered to bring you the contract.
Contract? At first the word didnt make sense. I soon realized if I didnt get a grip on
myself, many things wouldnt be making a whole lot of sense while standing in front of the
rock god. Gathering what little wits I had left, I straightened to my full height, which was still several
inches shorter than Lukas, and put on my best professional faceserious with a hint
of a smile. My gaze dropped to the manila envelope he had tucked to his side. Right, the
contract.
He pointed at the display case. Is there something you want?
I turned toward the display case again. I was thinking of a cherry Danish, but the waitress
and the guy behind the counter seemed to have disappeared.
Luka moved from behind me to behind the counter. He slid the door to the display case
open and picked up the entire plate holding the cherry Danishes.
I dont think you should be doing that. I splayed my hands on the glass, leaning against it
again. They might come back any second and well get in trouble.
Dont worry. Terry and Lana are on an extended break. We have the place to ourselves for
as long as we want it.
My eyebrows lifted to my hairline. Terry and Lana? I had to think about the names for a
second then my poor brain finally caught up. You mean the guy and the waitress?
Using tongs like an expert, Luka picked out the largest Danish of the bunch and placed it
on a plate before he returned the rest to the display case. Using the same tongs, he reached
for a chocolate croissant and placed that on another plate. Then he filled a large mug with
coffee then turned to face me.
Where are you seated? he asked like he belonged here and didnt play bass for a
superstar rock band.
Stunned, I pointed toward the corner table. He nodded, placing my Danish, his croissant
and coffee on a tray. As he lifted the tray like a pro and brought everything to the corner table, I eyed
the front of the caf. Outside stood a line of bodyguards. One blocked the entrance
while the rest blocked the picture window. Beyond them a large, black SUV took up most of
the curb space. Add paparazzi and screaming fans and the image would be straight out of a
movie.
What are you looking at? Luka asked from behind me. The clatter of plates and mugs
told me he moved our food from tray to table.
You bought out the place?
Is that wrong?
Its certainly not right.
I turned my back on the burly bodyguards, silently thanking Yana from leaving them
behind when she first visited my place. Those guys would never fit in my apartment. I figured
since we were in a public place and Luka was such a high profile personality that he couldnt
ask them to leave. He shouldnt. But watching him return the tray to the counter, Id say he
knew his way around a waitressing job. For a second he wasnt Luka member of Vicious. My
gaze dropped to his hand. Yup, all the rings were accounted for. Involuntarily, my tongue
darted across my lower lip. I sucked it back into my mouth when Luka sauntered back to the
table, coffee pot in hand.
He refilled my empty mug with the rich, hot beverage. Take a seat. I dont bite. He
paused then leveled his playful gaze my way. Hard.
I would have whimpered if I wasnt thinking of the job. Yes. Must keep thinking of the job,
I reminded myself as I neared the table and returned to my seat. Luka settled his long limbs
on a seat opposite mine and took a bite of his croissant. He twisted to the side so he could
cross his legs without his knees hitting the tables edge. I watched him chew, lifting my mug
to my lips just to give them something to do. How could someone chewing be the sexiest
thing ever? For a heartbeat, I wanted to reach in my bag for my camera. I got the sense that
Luka didnt take bad pictures. Whatever he did would look good through a lens.
Youre one of those people, I said as an afterthought, taking my own bite of Danish. The
pastry flaked perfectly and the cherry burst between my teeth. Heavenly buttery goodness
with a hint of tart sweetness. My stomach thanked me for it.
Roguishly handsome? Incredibly sexy? Oozing charm? Each a question said with the
most boyish grin Id ever seen. As if I could stop an eye roll after that.
I was gonna say photogenic. The camera loves you.
Ill take that. He brought his own mug to his lips and for a second I could only focus on
how his lips parted before they touched the rim. My eye bobbed with his Adams apple. Ugh!
It was gonna be harder to stay professional than I thought.
At Sacrifice, I had the buffer of other people around us and the relative darkness. Here, in
the light of day inside an empty caf, nothing shielded me from the magnificence of Luka
Visraya. Every handsome, sexy, charming inch of him.
So, the contract, I said because I had nothing else to say.
The eyebrow with the bolt quirked up. To business already?
Just thought you might have things to do today other than have coffee and a croissant
with a photography major. I punctuated my words with a shrug of my own.
His eyes turned serious for a quick second. Dont ever assume. Im here because I want to
be. Plus, I havent gotten a chance to eat breakfast yet.
I sucked in a breath, not because of his words, but for the honesty behind them. He might
as well have shot me. Alright. Not going to apologize.
He seemed to accept my reply because he relaxed into his seat and handed me the
envelope. Yana marked the terms you requested with idiot proof sticky arrows. She said to
look them over before signing on the final page. There are two copies, one for both parties.
Wishing Larry was with me to confirm everything, I tried my hardest to understand the
legal language used to articulate what I wanted out of the partnership. I thought of it as
practice for the day when other clients asked me to sign contracts. I needed to be savvy if I
wanted my career to flourish.
I liked the pictures you took of the band, especially the one of Phoenix. My gaze flicked
to Luka. He had this faraway look on his face I didnt understand. Ive never seen her smile
like that during a performance. Shes always so serious.
Yana said the same thing about your picture.
His focus returned to our table. My sister told me you want to photograph the entire band
and not just myself. Why is that?
Did I hear a hint of disappointment at the tail end of his question? I buried the thrill it
brought to my chest and entered my wheelhouse. When I was taking your pictures, I realized
everyone in the band resonated with me. My muse liked what she was seeing through the
lens. I wanted to expose what brings the band together as well as bring out the essence of
each individual member. My plan is to capture individual moments and bring them all
together into a final photo that will tell the story of Vicious.
Ambitious. Luka crossed his arms over his chest, emphasizing his biceps.
If youre not ambitious then whats the point?
The sly smile stretching his lips said he knew I quoted his response to a question in one of
the articles Id read about the band. Yana said you did your research, but just to be clear,
everything you read about us doesnt come close to revealing who we really are.
Add roaring thunder and flashing lightning to his words and you will get how ominous
Luka was in that moment. Then he tilted his head back and laughed. In an instant breaking
the tension he himself created. I squirmed in my seat. Somehow, I believed him.
I pulled out a pen from my bag and scrawled my signature on the last page of both copies,
sealing my fate. Luka sobered, watching me like a hawk spotting prey. I returned the
contracts into the envelope and pushed it across the table to him. He didnt move to take it.
Are you sure about this, Dakota?
He said my name for the first time and damn if it didnt cause shivers to run down my
back. That accent of his, which I hadnt really noticed until now, made my name sound exotic
to my ears. Dah-koh-tah, like a seesaw going up and down.
As sure as my life.
He treated me to a slow grin. The kind that held secrets behind it. And his eyes said he
more than willingly wanted to share those secrets with me at a later date. I shifted in my seat, an
uncomfortable heat gathering below my navel.
Luka took the envelope from me and said, Then, Dakota Collins, you are mine until the
end of the year.
Exactly one month from now.
Chapter Seven
Detour
Luka sat on my couch leafing through my more technical manuals while I packed. I still
couldnt wrap my mind around how a huge rock star could be sitting inside my suddenly very
tiny apartment. It seemed small when Yana came over, but with Lukas all-consuming
presence there wasnt an inch in my apartment where I couldnt feel him.
With shaking fingers, more from excitement than anything else, I stuffed clothes into my
duffle. I would have used a suitcase if I had one, but beggars couldnt be choosers. All I really
needed was my camera and laptop. Underwear was an added bonus. I would be in the
background mostly, so I didnt bother with anything fancy. Just the essentials.
You dont need to bring much, Luka said, affirming my thoughts. Everything will be
provided for you at Lunar Manor.
Doing my best to ignore him so I could concentrate because Id hate to leave anything, my
mind whirled back to what Luka said at the caf. He couldnt have said a worse thing to sober
me up. I recognized my bodys reactions to him. He was a rock god who oozed sex appeal. I
would have to be a frigid bitch not to feel anything every time I came within a foot of him.
Even so I would think Luka had the power to melt the most frigid of bitches. Only now the
difference was I recognized those feelings as simply a reaction to his charisma and nothing
more. No one owned me but myself. So long as I anchored myself in that thought I would
make it through the month in one piece.
My goal: take the pictures and leave like a thief in the night. I didnt have to stay longer
than I had to, which was why I kept the time limit to thirty days. That was more than enough
time to accomplish my project. Plus, I still needed time to treat and clean up the pictures
once I had them. Being a photographer wasnt just about pointing and shooting. That may be
the beginning but just because you got the photo doesnt mean you leave it virgin. The panel
at the Spring Showcase would definitely murder me if I did that.
Stuffing several pairs of socks in with several pairs of jeans, I said, You really didnt have to wait
for me, Luka. I could have cabbed it to Lunar Manor. Okay, only half the statement
was true. I didnt have the faintest idea where this Lunar Manor was or if a cab could take me there.
No cabs go out of the city that far, he said as if bored by my words. And if you do find
one, youll be charged an arm and a leg for the trip.
Its not like were taking a plane there are we?
No. But it is quite a trek. Three hours by car.
That got me to pause. I blinked at him. Youve got to be kidding me? Three hours in a car
with Luka? Inhaling all that sexy couldnt be good for me, could it?
He merely shook his head, never taking his attention from the manual. What the hell?
Was he actually reading the thing? I get that he was super smart like the rest of his
bandmates, but to actually understand all the technical jargon in that book? I had to read the thing for a
third time just to get the faintest idea about most of the concepts.
I returned to my packing. My apartment was paid through the year as well as all my
utilities. I thought I would be going home for Christmas. That was an awkward conversation
with my mother. Hi, Mom, I cant come home for the holidays because I will be living with a
rock band for a month so I could take their pictures. Love you!
Instead I went for the more conventional approach. I lied. Mom, I cant come home for
the holidays. I have a ton of school work to get through and my final project to finish.
Technically the school work and final project were true. But my mother didnt let me off the
hook that easily. She made me promise to visit the first week of January. Knowing my month
would be over by the 31st, I told her Id pop in. This pacified her. I booked my plane ticket
home and everything.
I stared at my phone for a second. My contract stated I could bring it with me but once I
arrive at Lunar Manor I would have to surrender it. What good would a cellphone do me if I
didnt have it with me at all times? With a sigh, I powered it down and stuffed it into my
bedside table drawer.
You about done? I heard Luka shut the manual. I want to get out of the city before rush
hour hits.
It wasnt even lunch yet. Why would he be worried about rush hour?
On top of my clothes I lay my laptop then zipped my bag. I hurried to the bathroom and
threw bath stuff, including my toothbrush and favorite brand of toothpaste, into a smaller
bag. I didnt care what Luka said. I wanted to be prepared. What if I didnt like the toothpaste they
provided for me? I didnt want to be a diva and ask for the one I wanted.
After I finished all my remaining class requirements last night, I gave my apartment a
much needed general cleaning. My mother taught me never to leave my place dirty when I
planned on an extended trip. Sink, free of cutlery. Bathroom, spotless. Sleeping area,
organized. Living room, bursting at the seams with a superhot rock star. I swallowed and
lifted my camera. In the morning light, Luka looked like he belonged in my small apartment.
He had his legs crossed and his arms stretched over the top of my couch. Again with the
tapping of a beat with his fingers. Was he constantly thinking about music?
Another flawless photo of him filed for future reference, I picked up my duffle and slung it
over my shoulder. Ready, I said.
Luka unfolded himself off my happy seeming couch and came to stand before me. Without
my leave, he took my duffle and shuffled toward the door before I could protest his
kidnapping of my stuff. What? Did he think I would make a run for it?
Shelving my annoyance for when we were in the SUV, I gave my apartment one last look
over. A pang of loneliness pinched at my chest. Weird. Id actually miss this place. I knew Id have to
leave after I graduate, but now that I had to spend a month away I almost didnt want
to go. I spent so much time within its cozy four walls that I couldnt see myself living
anywhere else.
At the door, I lifted my camera up again and took several pictures to bring with me.
Shaking my head against the moment of weakness, I fished out my keys from my back
pocket and closed the door.
Exiting my building, the same beefy bodyguard who threatened to take away my camera
opened the door of the SUV for me. I stopped beside him.
Whats your name? I asked, giving him a once over. In the light of day, he didnt seem as
threatening.
Eli, he grunted.
I shot my eyebrow up at him. Its nice meeting you, Eli.
Will you stop flirting with our protection detail and get in here? Luka called from
somewhere within the tank. I didnt think they made SUVs this big anymore.
Eli grabbed my arm and practically lifted me inside. I actually had to take a step just to get in. That
was how tall the monstrosity Luka called a car was.
I scooted across the leather seat until I reached Lukas side. His phone occupied his
attention. Good. I didnt need him distracting me for the rest of the trip. I wanted to use these three
hours to mentally prepare myself for the introspective. The pictures had to turn out just right, and for
that to happen, I needed to know what I wanted when I wanted it.
The SUV glided out of the curb into traffic.
Were taking a detour, Luka said, tapping what I assumed was a message into his phone.
I missed mine already even if I didnt use it much. Funny how that happens.
My mind immediately latched on to the word detour. Where are we going?
Luka set his phone aside. Whats our ETA, Eli?
Apparently, the big guy acted as driver as well as protection.
Were fifteen minutes out, barring any traffic.
Good. Luka settled back into his seat, resting his cheek on a fist. Yana booked the band
to play at one of the morning shows. Were headed there now. I suggest you have your
camera with you. Yana says she wants you to take some promotional photos she can use for
articles on the internet.
I didnt think my eyebrows could rise any higher than they have with each sentence Luka
completed. The band was playing at a morning show. Yana wanted me to take pictures. They
will be used on the internet. I knew I was repeating Lukas words, but I had to if I stood a
chance at digesting them properly.
Of course, Luka spoke again before I could form a reply, you will be compensated for
any images you take used for promotional purposes. He said all this without looking at me.
In the span of a couple of hours, Luka had rendered me speechless again. What was it with
this family and their ability to put you on the spot? My first paid photography gig. My
stomach fluttered with anticipation.
Which show? I managed to blurt out.
Crescent City Live.
My jaw dropped then. I should have known Vicious wouldnt play just any show. Yana got
them on the show.
A heavy sigh came from Luka. So much for taking a break. Sometimes I hate my sisters
workaholic tendencies.
Without thinking about my words, I said, Is it true you had a breakdown during your
world tour?
Slowly, Luka faced me. The look on his face took my breath away. The blue in his eyes
turned to ice. The line of his lips disappeared. And the bolt on his eyebrow quivered.
What do you know about that?
At my periphery, I noticed Eli shaking his head like Id stepped into a danger zone after
ignoring all the Do Not Enter signs.
J-J-Just I bit the inside of my cheek. I hated that I stammered. Just some rumors I
read on the internet.
The tension in the SUV eased when Luka leaned back and closed his eyes. He massaged
his forehead before pinching the bridge of his nose. He breathed in deeply and exhaled
slowly.
Dont always believe what you read, Dakota.
Only the second time hed mentioned my name and it sent chills down my spine.
My brain must have short-circuited along the way because I had the gall to ask, What
happened? Why did you have to move shows and come back to the States?
Upon opening his eyes, Luka narrowed his gaze at me. Like at the club, he reached for my
patch. And like at the club, I flinched back, moving to the farthest side of the car. Luka
dropped his hand to his side. If he really wanted to, he could have reached in further, but he didnt.
Do you like talking about what happened to your eye? he asked with soft menace.
A full on shudder rolled through my body. No.
Then you know how I feel about what happened during the tour.
He said it so matter-of-factly, like we were discussing the weather. Knowing when a door I
shouldnt open was in front of me, I sat up straighter and dropped the topic. At about the
same time, the SUV rolled to a stop. Eli left the driver side and opened the door on Lukas
side. The second Luka slid out, a deafening roar followed. I couldnt move.
Thinking Luka would leave me, I didnt expect him to turn back around. With a
mischievous grin on his lips, he reached inside the car for me. Dumbstruck, I stared at the
lines on his open palm.
Come on, Dakota, he urged above the din. I want you to share this moment with me
Chapter Eight
Show
Screaming fans ten rows deep pushed against the barriers lining the entrance to Sutcliff
Center on Main Avenue, home of Crescent City Livethe top rated morning show in the
States. Many of them screamed Lukas name. Most just screamed, waving their posters with
pictures of him and other members of the band in the air.
Luka transformed from the quiet, brooding guy seated beside me in the SUV to a smiling,
gracious celebrity. Eli handed him a Sharpie and he signed posters while making his way to
the entrance. I lagged behind, camera up. My finger squeezed the shutter release once per
second. I didnt think Id ever taken so many pictures in ten minutes. Our time spent outside
seemed longer even if the entrance barely stretched a few yards from the curb.
The din consumed me. Flashing lights from other cameras blinded me. This was the first
time I felt adoration as energy, and Luka fed on it like a beautiful vampire. He grabbed the
phone of one fan and leaned in to take a photo with her. She burst into tears the second Luka
moved on. Id never seen anything like it.
Once inside the building, Eli told Luka the rest of the band were already at sound check.
Luka nodded in silence, totally focused. My ears rang as Eli ushered us into an elevator. Luka leaned
against one wall, arms crossed and head down. The aluminum paneling reflected him
on both sides so it looked like there were three Lukas inside the elevator. Not one to waste a photo
opportunity, I snapped the shot.
God, you really dont take a bad picture, I said more to myself while I scanned through
todays gallery on my digi screen.
Luka didnt respond, totally in some zone.
According to Eli, the band would be playing in studio today instead of the regular street
performance. The way he said it made it seem like an unusual occurrence. I knew next to
nothing about the band and how they usually did things so I just went with the flow.
The elevator dinged to a stop. When the doors opened, we were met by Yana.
Luka pushed away from the wall he leaned against and stepped out of the cab with ground
eating strides. Hands in his pockets, he went straight to the well-lit performance space
flanked by large TV cameras.
Its good to have you with us, Dakota. Yana smiled. Red and black streaks colored her
almost white blond hair. For a second I wondered if she wore wigs or if that was actually her
natural hair. The dress she wore today was made of intricately braided silk ribbon, also in red and
black. Queen of Hearts, anyone?
I had to blink several times to focus on what she said to me. My pleasure. Actually, thank
you for this. I think I already have a couple of excellent shots that you can use for
promotion.
She nodded then ushered me toward where the band was setting up. Good. Youll be
standing over here. Make sure to get several shots from as many angles as you can without
obscuring the TV cameras. This will be one song then a quick interview then another song. I
want photos of everything, even candids. Am I making myself clear?
Whoa! Yana in business mode blew my mind. I liked it.
Grinning, I positioned myself first to the left of the band. Demitri was in tight leather
pants and shirtless. I got the feeling this was usually how he preferred to look while
performing. With a body like that and the intricate tattoos covering his arm, Id walk around
half naked too. Phoenix sported a midriff baring top, showing off a bellybutton ring and
tattered black jeans stuffed in knee-high boots. She had her brown hair in a faux-hawk. Red
lipstick seemed to be her signature look. Dray, on the other hand, wore a simple black
sweater and jeans combo, but today he wore gloves. The studio did seem cold, so gloves made
sense. His hair fell around his head without any product in it.
Seeing the whole band together in all their black against the bright lights was a stunning
thing. Before I knew it, I was releasing my shutter in successive shots. Somewhere behind me
Yana spoke to someone. As I skirted behind the cameras to get to the right of the band where
Luka tuned his bass, a girl with straight jet hair that reached her waist stepped forward and
patted Lukas face with a small round sponge. Luka endured the attention without complaint.
Then the girl moved on to Phoenix. She took out a large makeup brush and tapped it against a
container with pressed powder. Phoenix tilted her chin up so the girl could dust down her
neck. She did the same for Demitri and lastly Dray. With their flawless skin, I had no idea
what the makeup was for. To my eye they certainly didnt need it.
A guy with a headset and a clipboard announced they would be on the air in ten and
started counting down. By five, everyone in the band had their game faces onserious and
sexy. By one, a voice from somewhere introduced the band and the song they would be
playing. Dray counted out a beat with his drumsticks. Demitri strummed his guitar, quickly
followed by Luka. Phoenix tapped her foot to the song. She closed both her hands around the
mic stand and began singing in the clear, tremulous voice of hers. I recognized the song as
the same one they opened with during their gig at Sacrifice. It must have been their latest
single.
The song spoke of a girl lost inside herself. It somehow fit my image of Phoenix as she
sang. Maybe Demitri and Luka wrote it with her in mind. The beats were catchy and the
chorus easy to follow along. No wonder it topped the iTunes charts. Listening to Vicious play
live made me rethink my love for country music.
I liked country because the songs had a story to tell. I soon realized the song Vicious
currently played actually did the same. When the line I run away to find who I am reached
my ears I had to stop and stare. That lyric resonated with me. I knew that if I travelled the
world I would find who I was.
My gaze landed on Luka. It seemed he read my thoughts because every time Phoenix sang
that line in the chorus, he looked at me. Under the studio lights, his eyes took on the kind of blue Id
only seen during the clearest summer days. I lifted my camera and watched him
through the lens. Now that he wasnt hiding, he looked like he belonged.
I made the mistake of focusing on his fingers strumming the strings of the bass. A
different image entered my mind. I swallowed. Hard. Imagining those fingers roaming parts
of my body that had been neglected for so long brought a hot blush to my cheeks.
Doesnt he look glorious?
I jumped out of my skin at Yanas sudden appearance by my side. I dont know what
youre taking about.
Oh come now. Youd have to be a lesbian not to be attracted to my brother. She
shrugged. Then again, Ive seen him attract even the most hard core of them. Theres just
something about Luka that pulls them all in.
She was right of course. But I didnt gratify her with a response. I focused on my
photography, allowing it to ground me in the present. Lukas sexual pull acted like a magnet,
drawing in anyone with estrogen in their veins. To me, feeling the attraction and not doing
anything about it was wholly different from acting on said attraction. You crossed a line then.
I planned on staying behind that line, thank you very much.
When the song ended, the crew burst into applause. The band left their instruments at the
performance area and moved to the long couch at the other end of the studio. Yana left my
side to speak to them. The makeup girl returned, fussing about. Luka waved her away so she
moved on to the rest of the band members. Dray cracked some joke I didnt hear that got
Demitri chuckling. Phoenix settled on the couch right beside him. They didnt quite touch.
Dray sat to the other side of Phoenix while Luka took up the other end. He crossed his arms
and legs.
Someone handed Demitri a shirt and he pulled it on while Phoenix shrugged on a leather
jacket and zipped it up. I chuckled when I saw the arrow on Demitris shirt that pointed
toward Phoenix. Oh, you know I just had to take a picture of that. If it didnt scream I like her I
didnt know what did.
A guy in a suit and a woman in a stylish dress holding blue cards approached the couch. I
may not watch a whole lot of TV, but I did recognize them as the hosts of Crescent City
Today. They greeted the band and shook hands with every member. Dray had since removed
his gloves. He must have pocketed them when I wasnt looking.
The guy with the clipboard counted down again and everyone in the studio grew silent. At
one, the woman welcomed the viewers back to Crescent City Today. The man gave a little
introduction about the band and mentioned the names of each member. Each nodded in turn
while Dray gave a little wave. I smiled, liking him already.
The woman asked them about their tour and Demitri answered. We are taking a much
needed break. Our schedules have been crazy since this all started.
The male host smiled and followed up with, There are rumors of a band member
meltdown. Is there any truth to this?
Somewhere in the room I heard Yana hiss. I didnt look away from the couch, my gaze
moving to Luka, who seemed relaxed despite his closed posture. A palpable pause followed
until Luka spoke.
Demitri is right in saying we wanted a break. And rumors are just that. He smiled and
the woman actually blushed. I rolled my eyes. Da-yam! The guy knew how to work the room.
At the tail end of Lukas words, Phoenix said, We love what we do, but sometimes we
need time to decompress. Its nice to be back home.
I take it this is your only interview, the man said.
Dray nodded. We cant say no to our Crescent City Today family. When we first started
out, you welcomed us with open arms.
The way the band spoke, taking turns with each question, it seemed they had everything
carefully choreographed. Yet the responses sounded natural. It was like they were so used to
being interviewed that they didnt really think about it anymore.
So, the woman finally spoke, regaining her composure. Tell us about the next song you
will be performing. I heard its new.
Yes. Demitris gaze slid to Luka. The band dynamic is different in this one. We hope that
everyone likes it.
Well, why wait? the man said. He turned to the camera. When we return, Vicious will
debut a new single exclusively for our Crescent City Today viewers. Stay tuned after these
messages.
When the producer gave the all clear signal, a flurry of activity resumed. The hosts
thanked the band members for coming to the show. Demitri reached up behind him and
pulled off the shirt in one move. My mouth watered when his muscles rippled at the
movement. The women in the studio fanned themselves, unabashedly staring and sighing.
Phoenix unzipped her jacket and handed it to makeup girl. Dray slipped on his gloves and
pulled out his drumsticks from his back pocket.
I expected Phoenix to take the mic. Instead she shrugged on an electric guitar with a tribal
design of a bird in flight. In the same moment, Demitri shrugged on a pure white bass. What
the hell was happening? Was this what they meant about a different band dynamic?
I almost fell over trying to position myself between the two cameras at the performance
area. In a jaw dropping moment, Luka stood in front of the mic stand. He threaded his fingers
together, cradling the mic between his palms.
Hes gonna sing? I asked no one in particular.
Yana responded, positioning herself at my side. You better get this.
Wouldnt dream of missing it.
The producer counted down and I lifted my camera, prepared to watch the whole thing
through the lens.
Luka had his head bowed, eyes closed like the time in the elevator.
The hosts, who now stood to the side of the performance area reintroduced the band and
called the song they were about so sing Poison. My heart beat in my throat. I took in one slow breath
and released the shutter the second Luka opened his eyes. He looked right at me.
I froze.
Everything around me stopped.
Was he really looking at me?
When he sang, all the blood in my body congregated in my face. My skin burned. His voice
was unlike anything Id ever heard. Deep, yet quiet, like a sexy whisper. He sang of dark
nights. Of cold beds. Of moments he can never get back. With each lyric that escaped his lush
lips, my heart stuttered.
The song was slow and sensual until they reached the chorus.
Luka screamed, You are poison. I opened my veins willingly for you. From the moment
we met, you pushed my heart into a prison. You are poison. Poison. Poison.
The beat picked up yet it seemed like the saddest part of the song. By the time the second
chorus rolled in, a tear I didnt expect to fall escaped. I reached up and swiped it away. The entire
time Luka stared at me. I didnt get why he did that. I didnt want him to keep looking at me with those
serious eyes.
You are poison. Poison. Poison.
I couldnt move. Couldnt breathe. My lungs burned, but the ache in my heart hurt worse.
It was so unlike me to be affected by a song.
Unable to take it any longer, I fell to my knees, clutching my camera close like it was the
only real thing in my life. My dream of running away from someone surfaced. What was
wrong with me?
I was rocking back and forth when a hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me up. My
tear-stained face flicked up to meet intense blue eyes framed by sexy curls. Lukas thumb
swiped away my tear. For a long second, we stood there staring into each others eyes. Still
trying to breathe, I couldnt speak. My hands shook.
Without breaking eye contact like hed done while he sang, Luka said to someone I
couldnt see beyond his shoulder, Take the helicopter back. Were riding with Eli. Then,
without saying a word to me, Luka pulled me toward the elevator. My feet carried me, but it
didnt seem like I was moving.
Chapter Nine
Confusion
I dont know what happened, I said, fidgeting with my cameras settings as the SUV
inched forward in city traffic. Id calmed down about halfway to the lobby. The last thing I
wanted from the screaming horde of fans we had to slog through was to see my tear-stained
face. Thank God Eli led us to a back alley instead. Regardless of my calm, the embarrassment
refused to let me go. In the four minutes it took to sing Poison, Id ruined my street cred. Im not
usually that emotional.
Do you want to grab lunch before we head out? Luka asked from beside me. The whole
time he kept his gaze out the window, cheek on his fist.
Im fine. I huffed. Actually, the sooner I get settled and can boot up my laptop the
better. Im sure Yanas waiting for these pictures. In truth I didnt trust my stomach to hold down any
food. Id reached my cap of embarrassing situations for one day. Thankfully, the
SUVs black tint hid me from the world. What the production staff of Crescent City Today
must think of me. Granted, they didnt know who I was, but I was pretty sure I would forever
be known in that studio as the eye-patch-wearing photographer who burst into tears during a
Vicious performance. And I wasnt even a hardcore fan.
I couldnt get the way Luka stared at me out of my head. His eyes held an almost feral
intensity to them. It was almost as if he dared me to look away. Okay, I got that he was
probably staring at the cameras and I happened to be between them, but still. I cued up the
only picture Id taken of the whole performance. I cursed myself for missing the rest of it.
The camera focused on Luka while the rest of the band was a blur. His eyes were a cobalt blue
Id never known possible until I stared it in the face. I hadnt even retouched the photo and
already it looked studio quality. Magazine ready.
I like it, Luka said. His breath tickled the side of my neck, he suddenly sat so close. I
flinched away in surprise. I want that for the cover of our next album.
With my back against the door, I stared in disbelief. Y-You want the picture?
He reached out, palm up.
What? I dropped my gaze to his hand.
The camera, please.
Almost immediately, I shook my head. No one touches my camera but me.
He tilted his head at me like he was trying to figure out an enigma. Fine, the hard way it is then.
Quick as a snake strike, he had his hand around my wrist. In one strong pull, Luka
draped me across his lap.
What the hell are you doing? I struggled, kicking my legs up and down and pushing away
from his chest with my free hand, the other clutched my camera like a baby blanket I couldnt
live without.
Quit squirming, he whispered into my ear and I froze, rolling shivers ravaging my body.
Now that I didnt move, I distinctly felt his hardness against my hip. Like I was
electrocuted, I jumped out of his lap and returned to my corner. I hated that my breathing
came out hard and shallow. Didnt I just say Id reached my cap of embarrassing moments for
one day? I should have known being alone with Luka in a confined space was dangerous.
As if I hadnt run away from his arousal, Luka ran his hand through his curls. The flaxen
locks bounced back in place. For a second, I couldnt look at anything else. My arms still felt the
rings circling his fingers while he held me in place.
I want to see the pictures you took, he finally said.
Did he sound breathless?
I couldnt let myself think that way. Surely his dick coming to life was just because he had
a girl on his lap and not because of me personally. Come on, I wore an eye patch outside of
Halloween for crying out loud. It was possibly the least attractive thing about me I couldnt
hide.
On reflex, I reached up and ran my fingers down the velvety patch. The hard dome still
covering the monstrosity beneath calmed me. Luka watched me as I checked the fastening at
the back of my head. Only when I was satisfied that the patch was secure did I let my hand
fall.
Come here, Luka said softly. His tone almost sounded pleading to my ears. Show me the
pictures you took.
I hesitated, my eye unabashedly dropping to the clear bulge in his pants. I must admit,
leather hid it well. Luka adjusted himself in his seat, crossing his legs. He lifted his hands as if in
surrender.
If I promise not to touch you, will you show me the pictures?
Of course I considered his words. You promise to behave?
He nodded, crossing his heart. I laughed at the earnestness in his blue eyes. They were my
favorite part of him. He patted the seat beside him and winked. He looked so adorable I
couldnt help but grin back. Finally more relaxed, I inched my way toward his side of the
SUV.
Eli, will you bring us to Testinos?
The bodyguard grunted his response and the SUV took a right turn, effectively launching
me the rest of the way to Lukas side. We sat hip to hip, and warmth climbed up my neck. His
scent enfolded me in delicious air. God, I could smell him all day.
I told you I didnt need lunch, I insisted, keeping my eye on the black digi screen of my
camera.
You might not be hungry, but I am. Luka smiled. You can watch me eat.
Shaking my head in an attempt to hide another grin, I turned on my camera and waited for
it to boot. Lukas gaze left my face to stare intently at the three inch LCD screen. I cued up the first
photo of the day, the one Id taken in my apartment of him. He stared at it like he
was reading a top secret file.
Thank you, I said three pictures into the gallery later.
What for? Luka asked absentmindedly, all his focus truly on the pictures.
For a second I forgot to respond to his question. His body heat seeped into mine from
shoulder to leg. It didnt help that he leaned in to get a closer look at the LCD screen. With each
inhale, my nose memorized his sweet spicy scent. It couldnt be soap, but it didnt
remind me of any cologne either. Most guys Id had a chance to sniff wore cooler scents.
Maybe his aftershave? If I didnt find out what that smell was Id go crazy.
For getting me out of there.
He shrugged, which caused his shoulder to rub against mine. I willed myself not to
shudder in delight. Was this what being up close and personal with a sexy rock god felt like?
The blushing host came to mind. I didnt even think Luka was doing it on purpose.
Its not the first time someone burst into tears during a performance. For the first time
since I started showing him the photos, Luka removed his intent gaze from my cameras
screen to settle those eyes on me again. Did you like the song?
Without really thinking, I said, I was so caught up in the moment I just kept hearing the
chorus. I didnt know you could sing.
Everyone in Vicious can sing. His gaze dropped to my lips for a moment, and as if some
Pavlovian experiment was in effect, I licked my bottom lip. We just prefer Phoenixs voice.
The audience seems to respond well to her, too.
Why the sudden change then? Tiny dots of sweat rose over my upper lip. Luka leaned in
so closely I had to ask myself when the last time I waxed up there was.
Just when I wanted him to bridge the rest of the five inches left between us, Luka leaned
back and crossed his arms. He was shutting down again, and I didnt know how to feel about
it. Before I could open my mouth to ask him about the sudden tension, the SUV stopped and
Eli got out. He opened the door for Luka like he did at Sutcliff Center and Luka slid out. This time, he
didnt reach in for me. He just stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked away.
I scrambled out of the car after him.
We were in a small alley lined with dumpsters. Steam rose from grates on the ground.
Luka knocked on a metal back door. A rectangular peephole slid to the side then shut just as
quickly. The door opened. Luka stepped in, still not looking back at me. As I followed him
through the threshold, I got the feeling Id said something he didnt like. I just asked him
about the change. It seemed like a safe question. I mean, he just went on national TV and
sang in front of millions. By now Twitter must be exploding about the new Vicious single
sung by none other than the bassist.
We stepped into a long hallway covered in blood velvet wall paper with stencils of golden
dragons and chrysanthemums. Wall sconces were our only source of light. The dimness
wreaked havoc on my eyesight. I lost my balance twice, my shoulder slamming against the
wall of the narrow passage. Thankfully, the thick carpeting muffled my steps. I didnt want
Luka knowing I couldnt walk straight because of my iffy depth perception.
About ten more agonizing steps later, the hallway opened to an empty dining room. Tables
in neat rows lined the entire space. Some had four chairs while others had two. Semi-circle
booths occupied both walls. A long bar stretched along one end of the room. Crisp, white
table clothes covered all the tables. Dark wood paneling weighted the place down, in my
opinion. A woman in an extremely tight, extremely short black dress graced us with a red-
lipped smile. She greeted Luka and led him toward a booth without giving me a second
glance. Bitch!
Not wanting to cause a scene, I followed after them. Luka scooted into the booth and
looked up at me, waiting. I took the opposite end and set my camera at one corner of the half-
moon table. The hostess handed Luka a menu but didnt hand me one.
I cleared my throat and said in my most saccharin tone, Excuse me. Can you pass me a
menu as well?
She flicked an annoyed glance my way before swaying her hips away at what I hoped was
to fetch my menu.
With no one else in the elegantly outfitted restaurant with us, I confronted Luka. Did I
say something wrong?
Why would you think that? he asked back, perusing the menu.
I leaned in and grabbed the thing out of his hands. Because of the sudden cold shoulder.
He blinked my way, clearly caught off guard by my menu grabbing ways. Look, I get that
youre used to getting what you want and you only answer when you want too, but you cant
go around acting like a child just because youre asked something you dont like to answer. If you
dont want to answer then say so and Ill drop the matter. The words just flowed out of
my mouth without censorship. If he didnt like it, then tough. Childishness is such an
unattractive quality in a guy.
Luka lifted a fist to his lips and snickered. He was fighting not to laugh so hard that his
shoulders shook from the effort. I slapped the table so hard, the tiny vase with a stem of
white orchids clattered.
Whats so funny?
My question broke the dam. Luka laughed in earnest now. The hostess returned with my
menu. Then when she asked if we were ready to order, Luka just ignored her and kept
laughing. I shook my head at her and she sashayed away, blatant lust in her eyes for the guy
sitting across the table from me. I guess I should get used to those stares. Luka didnt seem to mind
them.
Having had enough of his laughter, I leaned back and crossed my arms the way he did
when he shut down. Im serious, Luka. Im here because I want to photograph Vicious, but if
youre going to close yourself off just because things get uncomfortable for you then you
might as well release me from my contract. Its not too late.
That got him to stop. He resettled into his seat and said, I wrote that song while on our
world tour. It didnt seem to fit Phoenixs voice, so I decided, what the hell, Ill sing it.
Demitri didnt like the idea at first but when I showed him the song he eventually agreed.
And the surprises kept on coming. Did Luka just answer my question flat out?
Now, was this before or after the rumored meltdown? I meant the follow up as a joke,
but all laughter had left the building.
Lukas expression darkened. Dont ruin our lunch with silly questions, Dakota.
The finality in his statement shocked me for a second. If he really didnt want to talk about
it, fine. I could respect that. So I went in a different direction.
Passing back his menu and lifting my own, I glanced at the food selection. Whats good
here?
Its Italian Japanese fusion, but if theres something you want thats not on the menu Im
sure Kurt can cook you up anything.
My eyebrow rose. Kurt?
The chef de cuisine, Luka said like he personally knew the guy. I got the distinct feeling
he did. Rock star, much?
Shaking my head, I returned my attention at the menu. Whats Crunchy Kani Maki?
Its a sushi roll made of rice, crabstick, and caviar sprinkled with fried tempura batter. It has
shredded crabstick mixed in Japanese mayo on top.
Not knowing what the hell half those things were, I went to a safer option. I think Ill
have the cream of mushroom pasta.
This time it was Luka who raised an eyebrow at me. And I thought you didnt want to
eat?
I thought so too, but now that we were in a restaurant, my stomach grumbled and
threatened to revolt if I didnt feed it. That and I want to try their Jasmine Iced Tea.
Raising his hand in the air brought the return of our slut hostess. Luka made the orders
and surrendered our menus to the woman. Before she left, she pinned me again with one of
her bitch stares. Yes, lady, hes sitting with a girl with an eye patch. Deal with it.
Why do I get the feeling shell spit on my food? I slumped back into the upholstered
booth bench.
Kurt wouldnt allow that. Luka leaned in and traced his fingertip over the lip of an empty
wine glass. So, why photography?
Okay and I thought my questions for him were hard. Technically, what he asked was
something quite normal. It just skated around sore territory for me. So I gave him my generic
answer.
I have this desire to see the world through the lens of a camera.
Is that before or after you lost your eye?
I let out a huff and frowned.
Not so easy when its your turn isnt it?
Damn. I hated how right he was. So I turned the tables around. What about you? Why a
band? Im pretty sure you could be anything you want.
Youre referring to me being a student at Barinkoff?
I nodded. I knew next to nothing about the school. Is it really a super exclusive
School where the best and the brightest in the world attend? he finished for me. Yes.
And to answer your question, its because I needed an outlet for my anger.
Well, now, I didnt expect that answer. Anger?
He shrugged as if we talked about how blue the sky was. You see, I come from a family
where theres a lot of expectation to succeed. Without boring you with the details, I rebelled by
picking the least likely acceptable profession. I loved writing poetry so that quickly
translated into writing songs.
What about Demitri and the rest of the band?
Being my cousin, much was expected of Demitri as well. He used to have a stick up his
ass a mile long. Rocking out mellowed him a bit, if you can believe it. And all those tattoos
are recent additions. I caught him strumming a guitar and suggested forming a band to piss
off our parents. Dray soon followed. Yana used to be our lead singer, but she didnt like the
role as much as she liked bossing us around.
I giggled. I can see that.
My response coaxed a shy smile from Luka. Using quick reflexes, I captured the moment
before it disappeared. Who knows when it would happen again?
Luka chuckled. You really treat that camera like an extra limb, dont you?
My gaze dropped to my constant companion. The only thing in my life that truly
understood me. I didnt know why, but I said, After I lost my eye, my camera became like my
window to the world. I wouldnt trade what I see through its lens for anything else.
Even for your eyesight back?
The seriousness of the question took me aback. I had to think about it for a long minute.
Would I really trade my camera for a chance to get my eye back? I shook my head.
I cant really change whats happened. Theres no point in speculating, I said, returning
my camera to its corner of the table. That was when the hostess returned with our food. The
steaming plates seemed unmolested. Luka dug into his wasabi burger just as I took a sip of
my iced tea. The sweetness of the jasmine slid down my throat and I smiled.
God! This is so good.
At my words, Luka reached over and took the glass from me. In stunned silence, I watched
his lips wrap around the straw Id just sipped from. My throat closed, closely followed by a
deep ache from somewhere deep inside me wanting to be filled.
Youre right, Luka said, breaking the spell he cast. I want one.
But from the way he looked at me, all molten blue eyes like that, I wasnt sure if hed
meant the iced tea or something else.
Maybe someone else.
Oh God. This was gonna be a very long thirty days.
Chapter Ten
Manor
I cant breathe. Every inhalation feels like a flash fire burning its way down my throat into
my already singed lungs. Still I keep running. And running.
Low hanging branches scratch my arms and legs, leaving a bloody trail behind me. My
dress is in tatters. Jagged rocks lacerate the underside of my bare feet. Only the adrenaline
pumping through my veins and desperation keep me going. I fight through the pain to get
away. Yet the large hands continue to grope for me.
Rugged panting from behind spurs me on. Hes getting winded. Just a little more. If I hold on just a
little more I can definitely get away. The growing darkness in the forest makes it
hard to see. Soon, I wont know my arms from a tree trunk.
An owl hoots in the distance. Its call echoes in the expanse of the woods.
The hands tangle into my hair. A swift yank and Im flying back. I scream.
I opened my eye with a gasp. My cheek rested against a broad shoulder. A long-fingered
hand, the kind amazing at plucking instrument strings, squeezed my thigh. A simple silver
ring encircled each finger. My heart immediately jumped to my throat. If that hand moved a
few inches up, its thumb would enter private territory.
In my sleep haze, it took me a moment to get my bearings. The crunch of wheels on gravel
woke me further. I pushed up from the shoulder and immediately reached for my patch. Only
when I knew it remained tightly on did I let a modicum of relief escape my lungs.
When did I pass out? I asked, discretely checking the shoulder for any wet spots and
swiping my fingers over the corners of my mouth. Dry. Good. I hadnt drooled on what
Rolling Stone named one of the hottest rising stars under thirty in the music industry.
Right around the time we left Testinos, Luka said, keeping his gaze out the window.
Thats the last time Im letting you ply me with divinely creamy pasta for lunch. I inched
away from him, but his hand on my thigh kept me from moving too far.
I distinctly remember you enjoying yourself immensely.
Yeah, adding a shot of vodka to the jasmine tea will do that to a person. I checked my
head. No hangover. Huh. I must not have drunk as much as Id thought, and at lunch no less.
Maybe the heavy pasta soaked up most of the alcohol. I tried to move away again, but Luka
held on. Uhyou can let go now.
That was when he moved his gaze from the outside to my face. Immediately, I regretted
my request because I saw the mischief and challenge spark in his eyes. Electricity seemed to
emanate from his hand, passing the barrier of my jeans straight into my skin. It was just
enough to wake some hidden desire in me without hurting. Invisible sparks ran up and down
my leg.
And if I dont? The eyebrow with the bolt shot up. For a crazy second I imagined my
tongue warming that piece of metal. I swallowed down the whimper begging for escape. As if
to dare me further his hand slid up my thigh. I helplessly watched. What the hell was
happening to me?
The question dissolved in my brain along with all my other thoughts when he brazenly ran
his thumb along the inseam of my jeans. My breath hitched. I glanced at where Eli drove, but
a privacy partition I didnt know SUVs had covered him from view.
A rejection tried to put itself together in my head only to shatter the second Lukas thumb
applied pressure along the path it carved out on my crotch. Even through the thick fabric of
my jeans I felt him as if I had nothing on.
You were talking in your sleep, he said, his eyes becoming heavy-lidded.
What? It came out as a half-moan half-spoken word. I gripped at the rolled up sleeve of
his shirt with both hands. The action caused my knee to hike up on the seat, giving Luka
better access than Id intended. His thumb paused at the apex of my thighs and twisted,
coaxing out the whimper I tried so hard to keep in. I bit down on my lower lip. Why was this
happening? And why the hell was I letting it happen?
What were you running from? Lukas thumb continued its leisurely trek up and down
my crotch. I begged my hips not to buck against his hand as delicious quivers ran up and
down my legs.
When I didnt answer fast enough, Luka stopped his caress. A painful gasp left my lips.
What were you running from? He pushed the pad of his thumb hard against me. The
pleasure pain pushed my ass off the seat an inch before dropping back down.
I dont know, I panted, white knuckling his sleeve. I shook my head. I dont know.
He increased the rhythm of his thumb. I tried to move away, but Lukas other hand closed
around my hip, keeping me in place.
Please I begged.
Please what? His stare sharpened.
I shook my head again. I didnt know what I was begging for.
Please, Luka. I couldnt take the intensity of his blue eyes anymore, so I dropped my
forehead onto his shoulder. The same shoulder only a few minutes ago Id inadvertently used
as a pillow. I couldnt even remember how I got there.
What do you want, Dakota? His touch grew more insistent, increasing the friction ever
so slightly with each pass.
Pressure built like blocks one on top another inside me. My breathing grew shallow,
making me terribly light-headed. My back arched toward him as I bit down on my lower lip.
For the first time in a long while, I felt my nipples pebble against the fabric of my bra at an almost
painful peak. I refused to reach up and touch my breasts.
Please, Luka, I begged again.
What? he whispered dangerously. Say it. What do you want?
Just as I reached the top of the climb, I said, Stop!
Almost immediately, Lukas hands released me. The sudden lack of contact left me
shaking. I slumped against the seat, gulping in as much air as my abused lungs would allow.
That same moment, the SUV rolled to a smooth stop. In seconds, Eli opened and closed his
door. Shortly after that, Lukas door opened. He slid out of the car without looking back at
me.
Make sure to show Dakota to her room, he said to someone.
I closed my eyes and focused on calming my breathing. A part of me knew I did the right
thing to ask him to stop. But the painful pulse hed left between my legs screamed at me in
frustration. If Id hung in there for a few more strokes I would have found release. But would I be
able to look at myself in a mirror afterwards? I hardly knew him and there I was, ready
and willing to have him fondle me. I signed the contract to complete my final project for
school, not cavort with a sex-on-a-stick rock god.
Miss Collins? a tiny voice called from the opened car door.
I opened my eye. A girl in a French maids uniform who looked way too young to already
have gray hair tilted her head. Ever the photographer, I wanted to lift my camera and take her picture.
The afternoon light cast perfect shadows on her patrician features. High cheekbones,
a pointed chin, and a straight nose. Was everyone who worked for Vicious chosen for their
looks as well as their skills? I hadnt seen a less than magazine ready face yet.
What drew me to her the most was the innocent way she blinked at me. Normally, this
would be the time someone seeing me for the first time would shift their gaze to my patch. I
waited for something that never came. The maid looked at me as if one of my eyes wasnt
covered by a black velvet oval.
I reached for my chest and my hand came up empty. The familiar weight of my camera
around my neck wasnt there. I twisted around in my seat, frantically searching only to find it sitting
on top of my bag. I snatched it up and cradled it close. For my camera to get there,
someone must have touched it because I distinctly remember it hanging around my neck
when we left the restaurant. Luka. I shuddered. To have his hands around my camera was
tantamount to what his thumb had done to me.
I imagined what would have happened if I didnt ask him to stop. If his thumb could drive
me crazy then what would the rest of him do to me?
No!
Are you alright, Miss? the maid asked.
Im sorry. I gathered my thoughts. I must have looked like a crazy person, shaking my
head silently the way I did in front of her. Im fine. I quickly inched my way toward the
door. Gravel crunched beneath my boots when I finally got out of the car. My legs wobbled. I
steadied myself by placing a hand against the cars door frame. I slung my bag over my
shoulder and looked up for the first time. My jaw dropped.
Having only one good eye, I couldnt get the scale of what I was looking at right away. I
moved away from the SUV and backed up until I could see most of what I looked up at.
Thats not a manor, I said, tilting my head up and shielding my gaze from the setting
sun. Even then, I squinted. I got the feeling I needed an aerial view to fully take in just how massive
Lunar Manor was. It resembled a castle more than anything else, stretching
hundreds of feet from either side of where I stood. I counted the windows from the ground
floor up and estimated at least three floors plus what seemed like attic space judging by the
windows with tiny roofs on them. Multiple chimneys reached up toward the sky.
Rich green ivy crawled up the stone walls, covering most of the building. At the bottom of
the front steps sat massive lion statues. On their hunches, they stood taller than I was.
I turned in a tight circle until I faced a large sundial that acted as the center of the rotunda for the
driveway. Tall pines lined the road we drove up on. How could I have missed them?
Oh, yeah. I was losing my head to the expert touch of the guy I currently didnt care where
hed disappeared to.
Something told me my one month wouldnt be enough to explore the grounds. The manor
must have been sitting on countless acres of land. I didnt even think Lunar Manor had
neighbors. From where I stood I couldnt see a gate. I might have to follow the gravel path to the end
for that.
Miss Collins? came the maids polite call.
I almost laughed. I couldnt wrap my mind around the sheer size of everything. But, then
again, a band who could afford to produce their own music and fund their own world tour
should have a buttload of money.
Whos home is this? I asked, making my way to the maids side.
Lunar Manor is Visraya property, Miss.
Please, I raised my hand at her, call me Dakota.
She curtseyed. She actually freakin curtseyed!
How did I suddenly walk into an episode of Downtown Abbey?
Then my brain caught up with what shed said. This is Lukas house? Its a palace!
The maid nodded. Please follow me, I will show you to your quarters.
My stuff?
Eli already brought them to your room, she said over her shoulder as she climbed the ten
steps up to the double doors that could fit an elephant.
I hurried after her. At the threshold, energy zinged through my body. I paused.
Goosebumps, like the ones I would get every time I came home to my mothers farmhouse,
ravaged my body. Only the fear of getting lost spurred me onward. Whats your name?
It is improper to fraternize with the help, Miss.
Last I checked we dont live in that century anymore.
That got me a smirk from the maid. Deidra, Miss.
I huffed. Why do I get the feeling youre never going to call me by my name?
Her smirk shifted to a warm smile. Well have to wait and see.
I liked her already. Living in Lunar Manor with a group of rock stars for a month, I had a
feeling Id need an ally. Maybe Deidra was it.
The foyer was three times bigger than my apartment and the only thing that decorated it
was a round table with nothing on top. I expected a crystal vase with fresh cut flowers. The
floor was black and white marble arranged in a checkered pattered. I felt like I was standing
on a massive chessboard. Then my eyes traveled toward the double grand staircase. From the
banister at the center where the stairs met hung a tapestry depicting a large shield with the
profile of a lion on its haunches like the statues guarding the front steps. One of the lions paws
grasped a sword. Its tip impaled the head of a snake while the serpents body wrapped
around its other front paw. Above the lions head floated a crown and two words.
What does fundamenta inconcussa mean?
Unshakable foundation, Deidra said from beside me.
Lukas family has their own crest? Just for posteritys sake, I took a picture. I needed
evidence of the kind of stature the people I lived with possessed. I thought only royalty had
family crests. Apparently, a lot of money could buy you anything.
Please, follow me, she said. I must bring you to your quarters. I have other tasks to take
care off before dinner.
I silently followed Deidra up the stairs, taking pictures as I went. She led me through a
labyrinth of hallways lined with expensive looking art.
It must have been fifteen minutes of walking before we reached a circular area with a
domed glass ceiling. I stood at the center of it for a moment, staring up at the purple sky.
This way, please.
I closed my mouth and trailed behind her into another hallway. Damn. How far were we
going?
Finally she opened a door at the end of the hallway. You will be staying at the east wing of
the manor.
Where does the rest of the band stay?
Master Demitri and Miss Phoenix occupy the west wing, Master Dray occupies a section
of the third floor, and Master Lukas quarters are also here in the
Shut the front door!
Chapter Eleven
Neighbor
It surprised me how much willpower I possessed to be able to censor myselfmy reaction
so immediate to what Deidra was about to say. It just seemed inappropriate to actually curse
like a sailor in front of a maid who curtsied like I was some kind of royalty.
Like earlier, Deidra tilted her head at me. I inched closer into the room until I stood within the
doorframe. Heartbeats passed where we stared at each other as if waiting for the other to
make the next move. I think she didnt expect me to react the way I did to information about
where Luka laid his head at night.
My mind processed.
Hot damn! I couldnt believe it. Did she just say what I thought she said? Was I living a
stones throw away from Luka for the duration of my stay here at Lunar Manor? Then again,
I didnt know exactly how big the east wing was. Maybe we had a whole football field between
us. I mean, the time it took to walk to my room alone
I inhaled deeply. I needed to calm the fuck down. So what if I lived in the same wing as
Luka? It didnt mean anything. I could do this.
Im sorry, I finally said then gestured. Please
Thank God she caught my drift because the air between us had gotten a tad awkward. I
didnt want Deidra thinking I was one of those sex-crazed groupies salivating for a glance
from Luka. Believe me, I already knew what he could offer and I wasnt buying into it.
As I was saying, Deidra cleared her throat, stepping further into the room, this will be
your quarters in Lunar Manor.
Quarters? I followed in after her then froze. Holy cow! This is a hotel suit not a room.
My gaze wandered.
Another mini foyer stretched out. This time the table at the middle of it had fresh cut
flowers. A couple of steps down sat a living room area with two cream couches facing each
other and a dark wood coffee table between them. I inched forward again, skirting around the
roundtable with the flowers that smelled divine. Beyond the living room were double doors
that swung open to a terrace with stairs on both sides. I suspected those led to a garden of
some sort. I didnt want to look. Not yet. My mind was still too busy taking in the living area.
To the left were a series of sliding doors. The same for the right. When Deidra said
quarters, did she really mean quarters? I couldnt believe it.
She didnt respond to my hotel suite comment and just veered left. With an expert flick of
her wrists, the doors parted to reveal a bed so big it could fit three people with space to spare.
Unable to resist, I ran toward the bed and jumped, landing on my back. The luxurious
sheets caressed my skin. Sighing, I almost didnt want to get up. I flapped my arms and legs,
making bed angels.
God, did I just die and wake up in heaven? I asked the elegant molding along the ceiling.
Should I unpack for you? Deidra said from somewhere in the bedroom.
I lifted onto my elbows and found her standing by another door. At her feet sat my duffle
bag. It didnt look like it belonged in this opulence. I looked like I didnt belong. What did I get
myself into? I reminded myself not to get used to this because going back to my tiny
apartment would hurt.
Dont tell me thats where the closet is. I eyed the door.
As if to answer my statement, Deidra twisted the knob and let the door swing inward.
Empty racks and hangers stretched so far in I rolled off the bed just to see where the tunnel
ended.
I didnt bring enough clothes for that much space, I said. My voice reverberated inside
the cavernous closet. I was hoping for a drawer or a small armoire, not a mall storage unit.
Deidra giggled. She daintily covered her mouth with one hand and pointed at a set of
drawers across from the bed with another. I sighed in relief and closed the door toward the
abyss. Not planning on opening that section ever again.
Beside the dresser was another set of doors leading out to the terrace. For a second, I
imagined those doors open and the night wind billowing the gauzy curtains. It was too cold in
the season to do that. Oh, why couldnt I have come here in the summer? I set aside the
useless dream and went on with the tour.
Wheres the bathroom?
Regaining her composure, she tilted her head toward the right side sliding doors.
Youre shitting me! Okay, I couldnt hold it in anymore. The pinking of Deidras cheeks
and her downward gaze said her manners disapproved of my outburst. I couldnt find it in me
to care anymore. Coming from a one stoplight town, the fanciest place Id been too was this
swanky hotel restaurant Larry brought me to when we were still dating. The whole time the
waiter kept staring at my eye patch. I didnt enjoy myself that night.
I ran across the living room and pulled the doors apart. This bathroom is bigger than my
apartment! My voice bounced off the tiles.
I quickly sensed a cream theme accented with pops of color. The whole bathroom was
white down to the claw foot tub except for the light blue towels and array of bath products. I trotted
toward the porcelain sink and picked up a tube of toothpaste.
Howd you know my favorite brand?
Miss Yana gave us a list of everything you might need. Deidras voice made me drop the
tube. It clattered into the sink. If theres been a mistake, please let me know and I will rectify it
immediately.
Hearing Yanas name calmed and scared me in intervals. Of course she knew. But their
background check had reached homeland security proportions. All this for me? I came to take
pictures, not leak Area 51 secrets. WellI tilted my head to the side in imitation of Deidra
and crossed my arms, considering the situationwith the bands fame? The pictures Id be
taking would fetch millions. A sleazebag would already be spending the money in his head.
My mother taught me better than that.
Its fine. I picked up the toothpaste and returned it beside the same kind of toothbrush I
used, medium with thin bristles. Alice really did step into Wonderland now.
I will leave you to get settled then. Deidra backed out of the bathroom.
Giving the place one last look over, I spotted the standing shower complete with glass
doors. Thank goodness this room didnt open to the terrace. That would just be weird.
Shaking my head, I stepped back into the living room and pulled the doors closed behind me.
If theres anything you need, press one on the intercom and it will connect you to the
administrative office. Deidra pointed at the telephone on the desk facing the terrace. If you need an
outside line, press zero. But I should tell you all calls are monitored for security
purposes.
Of course they are. Puffing out my cheeks, I exhaled long and hard. Not that I had
anyone in mind I wanted to call. Maybe Silvia, but she might be too busy packing for the
holidays. Plus, who would believe what I had to tell them about this place anyway?
If you need me, press two. That is the maid service line. Just mention my name and what
you need and Ill get right to it. Laundry is on Fridays. Just place all your soiled clothing in the
hamper and Ill take care of it.
Is there turndown service as well? I joked.
Of course, Deidra replied with all seriousness. I will return for you before dinner. Please wear
something appropriate.
Dinner? My eye widened. Appropriate? Besides jeans, I had nothing. I didnt expect I
had to dress for dinner.
We follow a strict dress code for dinner at Lunar Manor. Deidra looked at me as if I
should have known this. Be ready when I return for you.
I lifted my hand to say something more but the door was already closing behind her. I
flinched at the click. Then I remembered I didnt have to go to dinner. I had work to do. Yana would
be expecting todays photos.
I reentered the bedroom and glanced at the bed. The imprint my body made was still on
the sheets. Deciding to unpack later, I kneeled in front of my duffle and extracted my laptop
along with the corresponding cables. I headed for the desk in the living room and plugged in.
A small icon on the screen indicated both my laptop and camera were charging. Good. I got
the feeling Id need full batteries. Wouldnt want to miss a photo opportunity. Considering
my subjectI rubbed my palms together.
I uploaded the pictures and lost myself in my work. I wanted to get everything done
tonight if I hoped to familiarize myself with the grounds tomorrow. Getting lost half the time wasnt in
the plan. The faster I got the pictures I wanted of the band the sooner I could return to the real world.
You ready for dinner?
I jumped in my seat, my heart hammering for a way out of my chest. I twisted to face Luka
and swallowed. He leaned against the opened terrace doors in a navy blue sweater, tattered
jeans, and bare feet. The moonlight caught him just right, tinting his hair silver. In fact, it seemed a
mysterious silver aura coated him for the split second it took me to grab my
camera.
Luka snorted. Are you always going to take my picture every time we see each other?
I set the camera aside and wondered how long had it been since I started working. I
glanced at the clock on my screen. Three hours. Wow.
Ill stop if you stop posing like a freakin male model every time I see you, I said absent-
mindedly. Howd Luka open the doors without me noticing? My brow furrowed. His room
might not be as far away from mine as Id hoped. I returned my attention to the set of
interview pictures Id taken. Some of the lighting didnt look right, washing out the bands
complexion, so I had to fiddle with the color temperature. Odd since studio lights were
calibrated for the best picture quality.
A shuffle of steps later, Luka grasped the back of my chair and leaned over my shoulder.
His spicy sweet scent wrapped around me along with his body heat. I inhaled, greedy for the
intoxicating smell. I bit down to suppress a shudder.
Are these the pictures from today?
I latched on to his question to keep from reaching for his hand and coaxing it to finish the
job it had started in the SUV. The color is off. The studio lights are making all of you look too pale.
Weird since its yellow light, which is the most flattering lighting condition. Maybe I got my camera
setting wrong. I rubbed my chin.
Luka snorted again. Hate to get caught in an unflattering moment. The pictures look fine
to me.
Insulted, I glanced up at him. Huge mistake. The move brought me an inch away from his
face. At this range I could lick my way along the scruff growing on his jaw. My tongue could
already feel the rough texture of the bristle.
Iuhm. I shut my mouth, gathering my thoughts and trying again. Goes to show what
you know. I need to adjust the coloring so the picture isnt glaring to the eye. You might not catch it,
but I will not send Yana inferior pictures for promotional purposes. I dont want to start my reputation
as a photographer with something subpar. Whatevers on the internet
stays there to haunt you forever.
Dont I know it.
Luka glanced down at me. With my face tilted up and his tilted down, our breaths mingled.
Heat spread from the bridge of my nose over to my cheeks. Up close, I noticed the black
diamond specks in the blue of his eyes. God, could he be any sexier?
As if hearing my thoughts, he grinned before standing straight. Come on, dinners about
to start.
Im thinking of skipping. The pasta you fed me is still weighing my stomach down. I
faced my laptop. Plus, I have lots of work to do. I want to get these pics to Yana by tonight.
Luka grasp the back of my chair and twisted it so I faced him. I yelped, gripping the sides
of the chair to keep from falling off. He sat on his hunches, gazing up at me. Then his hands
went to my knees and parted them. Immediately, I pulled them closed. Hold on there,
mister!
Chuckling, Luka pushed up. Dinner is the no excuse event. We always have dinner
together especially if we didnt see each other during the day. He wrapped his fingers around my
wrist. I hoped he didnt feel my hammering pulse there. My mind still couldnt get around
why hed parted my knees.
In a swift tug, I was on my feet. Blood rushed to my head. I locked my knees to keep from
stumbling toward him. From the disappointment in Lukas expression, I think he was hoping
Id collide with him. Ha! Served him right.
Miss other meals in the day but not dinner. He tsked, backing away a step. His hand still
shackled me. Plus, you need to meet the rest of the band formally if youll be walking around taking
pictures.
Lifting my other hand to my cocked hip, I exhaled slowly. He had a point. I tapped my
fingers. At some point the photographer needed to meet her subjects. I pulled away from his
hold and he let me go. Now who was disappointed? A part of me wished he hadnt let go.
Looking down at myself, I said, Im not dressed for dinner.
And you think I am? Luka gestured at his clothing. Dont always listen to the staff. We
keep things casual here. Just take your lead from me.
Only now did I notice the dampness of his hair. He had the curls combed away from his
face. Crap. Thoughts of him in the shower with water rivulets streaming down his body set
my panties on fire.
Bad, Dakota!
Then again, to actually get a picture of him in the showerI stopped myself. Not that kind
of photo shoot.
Shoving all thoughts of Luka away all together, which seemed almost impossible, I turned
my back on him and walked toward the mini foyer.
Do you even know where the dining room is? he asked from behind me, the humor in
his tone apparent.
I opened the door and gestured for him to lead the way.
Chapter Twelve
Dinner
So much for following Lukas lead! We were the only ones in that dining room in jeans. I
curled my fingers into fists to keep from strangling him when I scanned the room. He took
his seat at the head of the table as if he wore a tux. Apparently, dinner at Lunar Manor was
black tie. Dray and Demitri wore sports coats while Yana and Phoenix were in little black
dresses. I hugged myself as if the move could hide how underdressed I felt. I wanted to turn
and run. Screw getting lost on the way back to my room. I could always use the intercom and
call for help.
A butler lifted the folded napkin off Lukas plate and with a flick of his wrist unfurled it.
He draped the linen over Lukas lap and bowed. A maid poured wine for everyone seated. Did
all the servants have gray hair regardless of age? How was it possible? They couldnt all
possibly be related.
The table the servants circled stretched the length of the room, easily seating sixteen
people. A crystal chandelier above provided mood lighting. Everyone seated looked so
ridiculously good they probably comprised the best gene pool in the tri-state area. Freaky.
An abundance of pretty in one room and there I stood camera-lite. Why I left it behind to
charge in my room, I had no clue. Mental note: while at Lunar Manor, never ever leave
camera behind. The scene reminded me of a Norman Rockwell paintingexcept more punk-y
and gothic with all the black, piercings, and tattoos.
To Lukas right sat Yana then Demitri and Phoenix. To his left was an empty seat followed
by Dray and the girl with long black hair who applied their makeup at the studio. My
eyebrows rose. Apparently, Vicious carted around their own makeup artist.
Wait. My brain readjusted itself as my gaze returned to the empty seat to Lukas left. Were
they expecting me to sit there? I scanned the rest of the table. No other place settings
anywhere. An imaginary magnetic field kept me from moving where I stood.
Are you just going to stand there all night?
Yanas question drew everyones attention at the table to me. The butler and maids serving
dinner politely kept their focus on their task. I refused to squirm at the scrutiny. Yet none of them
stared at my patch. I kept my hand to my side, trying not to draw attention to it just in case. Luka
rested his cheek on his fist, a half-grin tugging at his lips. Yanas eyebrow rose, waiting for an
answer to her question. Demitri and Dray, almost carbon copies of each other
only with different hair styles and piercings, kept their expressions passive. Phoenix smiled
softly while the girl with long hair raked her gaze over my body. I threw her a cutting glance before
softening my gaze at Yana.
I think Im a little underdressed for this dinner. I cursed myself for stating the obvious.
Try sounding smart when six pairs of eyes from the popular crowd were staring at you. I felt
like the awkward kid transported back to high school. Maybe Ill just take my dinner in my
room.
Yana waved away my words. Dont be ridiculous. Although we like to dress for dinner, it
isnt mandatory. Come, sit. She pointed at the empty chair beside Luka.
I couldnt move. My knees shook too badly. Luka crumpled his napkin and dumped it on
the table. Then he got up and came to my side. His fingers found their way around my wrist
again.
Dont worry, he whispered into my ear then tugged me to the table.
Yeah right. A little too late for that. Luka may seem like he didnt dress of this dinner, but compared
to what he wore I might as well be a hobo they found off the street. I really should
have thought about bringing something more formal. So much for working in the
background. Yet another lesson learned for the nave photographer who dreamed of traveling
the world.
Luka waved off the butler and pulled out my chair for me. And like hed done it thousands
of times before, he pushed the chair in as I was sitting down. The second my butt hit the
cushion, I found myself at a perfect distance from the table. I didnt even need to adjust my
seat forward. Was there anything Luka wasnt good at?
Its nice that we could have you for dinner, Dray said softly, leaning toward me like we
were sharing a secret.
My breath hitched. I didnt exactly know how to take his words. Surely he was messing
with me because of the poorly concealed mischief in his eyes.
Dont tease our guest, Dray, Demitri admonished. I think formal introductions are in
order before we begin. Ignoring the maids scurrying about with plates of food, the lead
guitarist of the band plowed on. Luka, youve already met. Are you up to date with your
shots? Hes been known to bite.
I didnt want to but I blushed anyway at Demitris words. Luka picked up his wine glass
and winked at me over the rim just as he took a sip. I chuckled. How could I not?
Stop making her uncomfortable! Yana smacked Demitris wrist like he didnt have at
least a hundred pounds on her. Shell think were a bunch of savages.
We could only hope thats the least shell think of us, Dray said. He took my hand and
patted it. I hope youre as strong mentally as you are physically.
Okay, now what could he have meant by that? I took my hand back. Everyone at the table chuckled.
Were they really messing with me? I didnt know what to believe.
Dray is our resident weirdo, Yana teased and Dray nodded with a smile. Dont mind
him. To his right is Calixta. She helps with makeup and wardrobe along with being my
personal assistant on days when the band is in the studio.
The long-haired girl finally had a name. She sniffed at the introduction and said, You
really should come and see me. We always get free clothing for the band to wear. We need to
do something about your look.
A tiny growl rumbled in my chest at her words. Did I mention I didnt like her?
Thats a great idea, Cal, Phoenix beamed when she looked at me. Im Phoenix McKay, by
the way. If you dont find anything in the free closet, come see me. I think were almost the
same size. I have stuff in my closet that still have the tags on.
I dont mean to be rude, I began, but if you dont mind me wearing jeans and a shirt to
dinner, I dont think Ill need to raid anyones closet.
Just think about it, Phoenix insisted.
Okay, Yana clapped once, now that we have introductions out of the way, you all know
that Dakota is here because she will be taking pictures of the band for her final project and
will be living with us during this time. Please make sure to accommodate her when possible.
Calixta said something under her breath that I didnt catch, but from the sound of it I
wouldnt have liked hearing it anyway. I rolled my eye to the angel frescos on the ceiling and prayed
for strength. So long as she didnt get in my way, she could mutter all she wanted.
Yana showed us the pictures you took during our performance at Sacrifice. Demitri
nodded toward a maid who placed a dinner roll on his plate. I can definitely see the talent
there.
Based on his intense gaze, I couldnt be sure if he complimented or insulted me.
As if reading my thoughts, Phoenix said, Excuse Demitris tone. He was complimenting
you. For the first time since Id seen them together, she touched his arm affectionately. My
heart melted when Demitri glanced down at her. I could only wish Id find someone one day
who looked at me with such adoration.
My gaze flicked toward Luka. Oh, he was looking my way alright, but not with adoration.
The hunger in his eyes unsettled me. If he didnt stop, I would slide off my chair before this dinner
was over.
I think its time we start dinner before the food gets cold, Luka said. I hoped the rest of
the table didnt catch his suggestive tone. If they did, no one let on. Though, Calixta seemed to be
stabbing something on her plate with a fork. I didnt bother looking her way.
I jumped in my seat when Lukas knee touched mine. I should have moved away, but I
couldnt without drawing attention.
Im sorry? I turned toward Dray as a maid placed a bowl of creamy soup on top of my
plate.
Lobster bisque, he said. Yum!
What were you asking me again? I clarified, taking up my own soup spoon. There were
so many pieces of cutlery on the table I figured Id copy which ever Dray picked up so I didnt look
the fool.
Oh, yeah. He slurped his soup. What are your plans for the pictures?
I shrugged. I really dont know yet. I figured Ill take things a day at a time.
I like doing the same thing with my experiments.
Experiments? My forehead crumpled.
Drays our resident mad scientist. Luka grinned, clear affection for his cousin in his tone.
When hes not pounding sick beats on the skins, hes in his lab.
Like Dexter, Dray added.
I could only hope hed meant the boy scientist and not the serial killer.
A few minutes passed where everyone ate in silence. I hardly tasted the soup, my stomach
still tumbling over the fact that I actually ate dinner with Vicious. Many would pay through
the roof for a chance to sit at this table right now. A part of me reveled in it. A larger part still thought
all of this might be some surreal dream and soon Id wake up. When the third course
was set in front of usa poached salmon with mousseline sauce, the butler announcedYana
brought me back to reality.
Poison debuted number five on the iTunes charts today.
Pretty good, if you ask me. Dray shrugged, taking a big bite of the salmon.
What about Billboard? Demitri leaned back in his seat.
We find out next week, Yana said, not taking her eyes off the plate. I believe the
audience has been waiting for this change of pace in the music. They seem to be responding
well to Lukas vocals.
Its really his song, Phoenix added, but the cheer in her voice sounded fake to my ears,
like she was trying too hard. I think its good that were taking this break to focus on the new
album.
Dakota has the perfect image for the cover, Luka finally spoke up.
For the second time that night, all eyes were on me. It never got any easier. All the
expectant attention made my skin crawl.
Im still working on the stuff I took today. Ill send you everything by tomorrow
morning, I told Yana.
She nodded. You should send me your account details so we can wire appropriate
payment for the promotional pictures.
My eyebrows shot up. Didnt they already know my account details? I would have thought
the homeland security style background check would have covered that info. Maybe Yana was
just being polite in letting me think I still had a couple of things under my control.
Ill send you the deets along with the photos, I said, pushing chunks of salmon around
on my plate.
You do that. Yana pushed her plate forward and a maid immediately took it away.
Through two more courses, the band continued to openly talk business. I figured their
comfort came from the knowledge that everyone there had signed a Non-disclosure
Agreement. Whatever they discussed wasnt making it out of that house without serious
repercussions.
Yana mentioned something about an industry Christmas party the band needed to attend
and Luka cursed.
You promised we wouldnt have to work during this break, Yana. He lifted his fourth
glass of wine. Not that I was counting or anything.
Youre not performing, she clarified. But we need to make an appearance. Many voters
will be there.
Luka slammed the wine glass so hard on the table, the deep red liquid sloshed onto the
white tablecloth. I was surprised the glass didnt break. I dont give a fuck about the
Grammys or any other award giving body.
All the women at that table flinched at Lukas outburst. Dray remained impassive while
Demitri stared daggers at him. I had absolutely no idea where this was coming from;
although, Lukas words about getting into music to deal with his anger made some sense
now. The guy had a temper.
Its still weeks away, Phoenix interjected. You dont have to think about it now.
This seemed to pacify Luka. He resorted to sulking in his seat, ignoring the dessert of
peaches in chartreuse jelly. I was too full to even attempt dessert. Good luck getting any work out of
me tonight. I wilted into my seat, already lazy.
The last item on the agenda for Yana seemed to be the annual New Years Eve party. Since
the band wouldnt be performing at the ball drop, the party would be held at Lunar Manor.
That you need a dress for, Phoenix told me.
Howd we get back to the topic of what I was to wear? I thought I would be working in the
background? Plus, wouldnt that be my last day? Surely you wouldnt mind me skipping the
party.
Yana shook her head. You have to be there. I will not have it any other way.
Distinctly hearing the period at the end of her sentence, I kept my mouth shut. Any
argument would just be shot down. Like Phoenix said to Luka, I didnt have to worry about
the party. It was weeks away.
I had other things on my mindlike the hand slowly making its way up my thigh.
Chapter Thirteen
Frustration
Luka shifted in his seat, seeming to face Yana as she described the party planning already
underway for New Years Eve. Unbeknownst to the rest of the table, his hand wandered,
hidden beneath the tablecloth. Unfortunately, if someone looked hard enough he or she
would figure out what was really happening. My heartbeat kicked up a notch at his touch. The
heavy lunch paired with an even heavier dinner muddled my thoughts. A slow burn traversed
my neck to my face. I must have turned several shades of pink, my cheeks felt so warm. I
closed my hands to keep from fanning myself. Then I bit the inside of my cheek to clear some
of the fog.
A part of me felt trapped. I had little room to move away from Lukas touch unless I
actually stood up. How hot Lukas hand felt against my thigh under the table dominated all
my attention. And I didnt mean temperature wise. He traveled in excruciating slowness,
starting at my knee and moving an inch or two then hed stop and squeeze. This caused me to
yelp, which I disguised by clearing my throat or taking a sip of wine. He used his thumb to
draw soothing circles against my leg.
Images of this afternoon in the SUV didnt help either. This harassment had to stop. I
couldnt take thirty days of avoiding Lukas advances. My body responding to his attentions
made abstaining doubly difficult.
I had to make an executive decision. Luka was a famous rock star. Surely he was used to
women flinging themselves at him. I pegged him for the one-night-stand type. If I gave him
access for one night then hed lose interest and I could move on with my project without this
continued harassment. It didnt hurt that I hadnt been with anyone for almost a year. I
carried a personal itch and wouldnt mind having Luka do the scratching.
Just as his hand reached the top of my thigh, I pushed away from the table. For the third
time that night, everyone at the dining room stared up at me. I probably just pegged myself as the
weird photographer girl. I didnt mind. We artsy types thrived on eccentricity.
Luka, can I talk to you in private? I said.
He blinked up at me before he pushed off the table. We dont have any pressing matters
anymore for tonight, Yana?
His sister shook her head in obvious bewilderment. She wasnt the only one at the table
looking confused. I could see the question marks in their minds on their faces. I ignored all of them,
the ache between my legs taking precedence.
Then if you will excuse us
Not letting Luka finish his sentence, I wrapped my hand around his wrist and pulled him
out of the dining room. We went down the hallway we came from earlier. I scanned left then
right for doors. I pulled Luka into the first room I could find. A sitting room of sorts.
The moonlight slanted in through yet another set of terrace doors. I had a feeling they
wrapped around most of the manor. Not bothering with lights, I scanned the room. When I
spotted a large divan, I made my way toward it, taking a silent Luka with me. Not once did he
struggle. Bully for me.
Upon reaching the divan, I whirled around and pushed Luka back until he fell onto the
cushion. He leaned back on his hands and looked up at me, a curious expression on his
handsome as sin face. For a second, I wanted to lick him from chin to temple. I swallowed the
urge and saved it for later.
What are you doing? he finally asked.
Before answering, I yanked off my shirt and tossed it aside. Luka became really still. I felt
his eyes wander my upper body, placing close attention to my breasts covered in black cotton.
Usually, I broke out the lace or satin for sex, but when in a lurch, cotton did just fine. They would end
up on the floor anyway. Thank God my underwear matched.
Hands on my hips, I said, This is what you want right?
In the light of the moon, he looked like a magical being, almost unreal. He went from
golden god to silver temptation. I couldnt escape the heat in his eyes. And I was pretty sure he could
see the heat in mine because I noticed his move.
What are you saying, Dakota?
I licked my bottom lip, reveling in the way his gaze followed the quick dart of my tongue. I
let the shiver running through me put me in the mood. Isnt it obvious? I dont have time to
play these games with you and I surely wont allow you to play them in public. With a deep
breath, I toed off my boots then unclasped the button of my jeans and shimmied out of them.
In one kick, they joined my discarded shirt. I forced myself to stand there, focusing on
keeping my breathing even.
As I expected, Lukas gaze dropped to the large scar that ran from my navel to just below
my panty line. He sucked in his breath. He must have noticed the dozen little jagged scars
that scattered around the larger one. Another reason why guys stayed away. The patch wasnt
the only thing about me that scared them away.
A muscle ticked along Lukas jaw. Who did this to you?
Were not here to talk about my past. I tilted his chin up so his gaze met mine. As you
can see, you dont have to worry about using a condom. And I trust that youre clean. I
havent been with anyone for almost a year and Ive been tested. Lets get this out of our
system. I have work to do in the morning.
No, Luka whispered.
Not sure I heard him right, I asked, What?
He twisted his face away from my touch. I said no.
Thats not what the bulge in your pants is saying. I stepped closer. One night. No strings
attached. I wont even be the clingy girl. And you dont have to do a thing. Just sit there and Ill take
care of the rest.
Mustering all the confidence I possessed, I bent down until my fingers skimmed the hem
of his sweater. Lightning fast, Lukas hands circled my wrists. With controlled force, he
pushed my hands away. I stood up straight and looked down at him, now the one confused.
Was I wrong in his intentions?
Put your clothes back on, he growled, guttural.
I hated the insecurity that pinched at my insides. Is it the scars? Are you disgusted by
them? I didnt know what prompted me to ask, but I had no regrets. His answer would help
deflate my desire for him.
Instead of disgust, his blue eyes took on a sharp edge. You think me that shallow?
Just as quickly, he closed his hands around my hips and pulled me forward. My surprised
yelp turned into a gasp when his lips touched my skin. He treated my abdomen to slow, open-
mouthed kisses. My fingers snaked into his hair, keeping him where he was. The softness of
each strand drove me crazy. They felt like the finest silk beneath my fingers. With every
greedy inhale, his spicy sweet scent filled my lungs. I threw my head back with a moan when
his tongue traced each and every scar.
Unable to help myself, I moaned Lukas name. He must have had a will of steel because he
gave the largest scar one last kiss before he pulled back but not too far. His hot breath on my damp
skin sent delicious shivers up and down my body. I wanted more. Of him. Now.
In a shift of mood I wasnt prepared for, Luka let go of my hips and leaned away, his hands
splayed behind him on the divan.
Dont ever think scars will scare me off. His surly tone made him sound like a child
denied a cookie before dinner. I dont know what you think of me, but Im not that kind of
man. Now, put your damn clothes back on and get out of here.
More confused than ever, I yanked my jeans and shirt over my body. Bending down, I
balanced on one leg and pulled on my boots one at a time. My mind worked on overdrive.
Okay, he wasnt rejecting me for physical reasons. Then why the hell werent we horizontal
right now?
I must have asked the question aloud because he chuckled and said, My father loves to
hunt, and when I was younger, he always took me out with him.
I totally didnt get it. How was I supposed to take that statement? Unable to stand his air
of mystery anymore, and the pulse hed caused in me reaching a painful peak, I hurried to the
door. My hand reached for the doorknob.
Dakota?
I stilled, waiting, but didnt turn around to face him.
Before this is over, you will show me whats beneath that eye patch.
The cockiness in his voice more than his words annoyed me enough to say, Good luck
with that. This was a onetime offer. Id appreciate it if you kept your hands to yourself from now on.
I left before Luka could respond. Whatever games he was playing, I was out.
With determined strides, I did my best to find my room. I refused to ask for help. It took
me three times as long. The frustration of getting lost stamped down the sexual frustration. It dawned
on me that I might not have thought things through before signing that contract. But
there was no use being a sour grape about it. I had a commitment to my craft and I would
stick to it. Let Luka and his teasing be damned. He wouldnt be touching me inappropriately
again. I couldnt let him. Relief shook my body when I reached the circular section with a
domed roof. I found my room soon after that.
Deidra wasnt kidding when I asked her about turndown service. My bed covers had been
pulled back and the pillows fluffed. I even found a mint at the center of one of them.
Ignoring the call of the heavenly mattress, I picked up my duffle and emptied its contents
onto the bed. I grabbed sweatpants, a Wexler T-shirt, and a new set of underwear and headed
straight for the bathroom. I could formally unpack later. I planned on losing myself in the
rest of my work first. Yana would have those pictures before dawn if it killed me.
But before all that, I needed a damn shower. I needed to wash away the scent of him from
my body. Scrub away the feel of his lips on my skin. Luka Visraya was lethal to the human
condition.
Chapter Fourteen
Labyrinth
I spent the next two days exploring the ins and outs of the ginormous Lunar Manor. I
started with my room. Once I put away all my stuff, which sadly fit only three drawers of a six drawer
cabinet, I gave myself permission to discover the hidden treasures in my section of
the east wing. Besides really expensive furniture and a state of the art entertainment system, I found a
mini fridge stocked with everything I might need. I had to get over the hotel mini
bar feel before actually digging in. M&Ms, pretzels, and chips, oh my! I stayed away from the booze,
of course. I didnt need to be wasted while working on my project. The next day, the
fridge was magically restocked by a mysterious junk food fairy. Imagine that?
When I got the courage to explore beyond the four walls of my quarters, I soon figured out
I might need a GPS to navigate Lunar Manor. The floor I lived in was a mess of labyrinthine
hallways, and the manor had three floors plus an attic. Several long turns later, I found
myself circling back to my room. How could I expect to find members of the band like this?
Taking pictures along the way like Gretel leaving behind bread crumbs, I wandered into a
humungous library. It was two stories tall with walls overflowing with books. Then I
stumbled into a music room. Well, at least I thought it was a music room because of the black
grand piano dominating the center of it. There were lots of rooms similar to the one I dragged Luka
into. I shook my head against the rising memories. Every time I thought of his lips on
my scars, I shivered like I walked under a cold spot.
Continuing my trek, I quickly discovered two atriums with glass ceilings. They marked the
division between the center of the manor and the east and west wings. A larger atrium filled
with hot house plants marked the actual center of Lunar Manor. I spent a couple of hours
there, mystified by the rainforest feel of it. The temperature outside must have been freezing, yet the
plants inside the main atriumas I dubbed itkept the place nice and toasty. I
especially loved the orchids with their velvety petals.
Two days and I got the feeling I only saw part of the whole structure. I hadnt even made it
outside yet. The grounds intimidated me. At least inside the house maids periodically walked
the hallways. I could easily ask for directions. But to actually explore the gardens, I needed a guide.
Of course, who my guide would be was yet to be determined since everyone seemed
busy, even Deidra.
I only got to see the band together during dinner. Luka had been right. Dinners were no
excuse events at Lunar Manor. Thank God Luka kept his hands to himself while at the table.
Unfortunately, I felt the cold shoulder from all the way where I sat. Theyd moved me beside
Calixta for some reason. Not that I minded much even if I couldnt stand the girl. Luka
wouldnt even look my way. How childish could he get? Well, if he ignored me, then I could
just as easily ignore him.
Or so I thought until the third day.
Yana came to my room and escorted me to the basement of the manor, which I never
thought it had until I was climbing down its steps.
The band uses the basement to record their albums, Yana said over her shoulder, leading
the way for me.
At the bottom of the stairs, I stopped and gaped at the posters of the band framed along
the walls. A glass case held numerous awards. An L-shaped couch lined one wall, and the
coffee table in front of it displayed countless magazines with the band on the front cover. Add a
receptionist in the corner and wed be in business. Egotistical, much?
This is the studio?
Yana, in orange today, whirled around. We have everything a band might need. State of
the art mixing boards. Sound canceling microphones and headphones. Sound proof booths.
She waved me onward until we reached a door with a red light on. She pointed upward.
Theyre recording.
I aimed my camera at the light and snapped a shot. You guys werent kidding when you
said you produced your own music.
She shrugged. Why let someone else do what you can do yourself. When Luka put the
band together, it was really with the intension of creating their brand of music. He learned
everything about production and took it to the next level by hiring people who fit his
aesthetic. Everyone who works with Vicious works with them exclusively.
So youre saying Luka runs the show? The light above us clicked off and Yana pushed
into the room.
No. I run the show. He creates. Yana pointed at the band behind the glass wall.
All their instruments were set up over carpets. Mics hung from the ceiling and several
music stands littered the space. All the members had on headphones. Demitri was adjusting
the strings of his guitar. Dray twirled his drumsticks. Phoenix and Luka were conferring with
each other, their heads together. From behind the glass, two men adjusted a myriad of dials
and knobs along a large mixing board. Several LCD screens flashed in front of us, showing
sound waves and music bars. There were so many things to see at once, my head whirled. I
couldnt begin to understand the first thing it took to produce a record. I flinched at Lukas voice over
the speakers.
From the top. He gaze flicked to me before he returned his attention to the music sheet
beside him.
That one gaze stabbed me through and through. A clean wound. I stood up straighter. I
refused to let Luka get to me. I offered, he turned me down. No hard feelings. Id handled
worse assholes than him.
Were ready for you, one of the guys in front of the board said into a microphone. Dray
counted out with his drumsticks and the discordant sounds of a song I hadnt heard before
played out of the soundproof booth the band were in. Just when I thought I couldnt get into
the song, the beautiful harmony of Phoenixs and Lukas voices enriched the experience. I did
nothing but stare. For the past two days, I slept to the songs of Vicious. This was the first
time I heard a duet from them and the emotions brought on by the combination of their
voices shook my core. Forget the lyrics. Just listening to Phoenix and Luka while they
complimented each other vocally almost brought me to tears.
I breathed in hard, willing the tears to subside. An inexplicable anger ravaged my thoughts.
Was I seriously jealous of Phoenix? Why? She was doing nothing but sing with Luka.
Isnt it beautiful? Yana said beside me.
I almost kissed her on the cheek for snapping me out of it. Of course Luka and Phoenix
would sing together. They were in a band together for crying out loud. Returning to my
senses, I took several pictures of the band in their creative element. All of them in
comfortable T-shirts and jeans and no one wore shoes. Interesting.
Is this going in the new album? I asked, snapping pictures of the music techs that Yana
introduced as Tommy and Andrew. They called themselves Lukas protgs. I almost laughed
since both guys looked ten years older than the Vicious bassist. But I clearly heard the respect in their
voices when they talked about and to Luka.
Yes, Yana nodded. This is called Asylum. Lukas been writing like a mad man lately.
Who would have thought all it took was She bit her lower lip.
What? I turned to her.
We dont like talking about it, she leveled me with a serious stare, and Im only telling
you this because youre under contract and cannot breathe a word of it, but Luka did have a
meltdown while on tour.
The confirmation hit me in the weirdest way. A part of me wanted to run into the booth
and hug Luka, which was completely ludicrous. Another part of me wanted to know more.
But as someone who carried her own baggage, I knew why no one wanted to talk about it. A
meltdown was a big thing, especially to someone who lived in the public eye like Luka.
Reporters and tabloids alike would salivate at any piece of scandalous material. No wonder
Yana and the PR department wanted to keep things quiet.
Not taking my gaze away from Luka, I said, Even if I wasnt under contract, I wouldnt say
anything. What happened to Luka is his business, not anyone elses.
And thats why I agreed to you doing this.
My shock must have come across clearly on my face because Yana laughed.
I knew that someone who flinched away from having her eye patch touched knew what it
meant to keep secrets, she clarified after her laughter bubbled down. And dont worry.
When we conducted the background check, we stayed away from your medical records.
Without thinking twice, I reached up and touched my patch. Lukas words in the sitting
room the other night raised goose bumps up and down my arms. I shook my head against it
and chuckled.
Thanks for that. I eyed Yana. I noticed no one asked about my patch that first night at
the dinner.
Why would they? Yana tilted her head at me like she couldnt understand where my
words came from. Clearly you went through something terrible to bare the patch with as
much confidence as you do. Then she pointed beyond the glass. Each band member in there
has their own demons, Dakota. It would serve your project well to remember that.
I nodded, taking her words to heart. Yana gave me an opportunity to get to know each of
the members, and I promised myself I wouldnt waste it.
The song ended and Luka spoke through the speakers again. Lets set up to record Poison
next.
My heart sped up like an Indy 500 car. I hadnt heard that song since they debuted it on
Crescent City Today. Since my internet access was restricted while at Lunar Manor, I couldnt
download a copy. To hear the song again today excited me.
Can I get a copy? I asked brazenly.
Like it, huh? Yana elbowed me playfully.
I shrugged, playing things down. I would have bought a copy if my access wasnt
restricted.
Tommy, give Dakota here a copy, will you? Yana winked at me before she faced the band.
Luka stood in front of the microphone now while Phoenix and Demitri traded places. Lukas
been through a lot, she said as if to herself. Writing songs is like a drug for him. There are ups and
there are certainly downs. No matter how cathartic he says the process is, sometimes
the fallout is devastating. Thats why were very protective of him. But it seems you being
here is good for him.
Huh? Okay that got confusing fast. My already hammering heart bounced around in my
ribcage. What does this have to do with me?
To be honest, I dont know yet. She crossed her hands. A deep crease formed between
her eyebrows. But, since he brought you here, something in Lukas manner eased. Since
coming back to the States hes been withdrawn and tense. After that night at Sacrifice,
everyone in the band breathed easier.
O-kay. I scratched my neck. Thats way too much information. I couldnt put myself in
that crazy mind space. Whatever was going on with Luka had nothing to do with me despite
what Yana said. I had to get down to business. Since I pretty much know my way around, I
think I can start interacting with the band members one by one.
Who do you plan to start with? Yana angled her body toward me but didnt remove her
watchful gaze from the band. Luka was currently talking to all of them, probably giving them
instructions. He seemed the perfectionist type to me.
Im thinking Dray. Hed be the easiest, I said. Yanas snort deflated my confidence.
Something tells me I should get ready for some weird shit, huh?
Oh, honey, Yana patted my shoulder, you havent seen anything yet. Weve pretty much
left you alone because we wanted you to get accustomed to your surroundings. Now its time
to get back to our normal routine. Two days is more than enough time, dont you think?
Nervous knots twisted my stomach. Are you saying my wandering Lunar Manor in peace
is because you left me alone for two days?
She licked her lips like she was about to take a bite of something, and I involuntarily took
a step back.
I told you before signing the contract that you should really think about it. Youre in our
world now, Dakota.
Cue thunder, lightning, and maniacal laughter. I backed into the door just as the band
began playing the first chords of Poison.
What about your copy? Yana asked too innocently for my taste.
Ill pick it up at dinner. Thanks! Not caring that they were recording, I opened the door.
My heart pumped like a tight fist in my chest. Yanas aura in there sent prickly spider feet
crawling up my spine. I had to remind myself to take measured steps instead of bolting out of
there at full speed. Predators ran after prey.
If Alice thought Wonderland was twisted, it had nothing on Lunar Manor.
Chapter Fifteen
Madness
The next day, I mustered up the courage to explore the third floor, i.e. enter Drays
domain. Wed spoken over dinner last night about my paying him a visit. He said he would be
expecting me after breakfast. Since I usually woke up in the afternoons after a long night of
work, I wasnt too sure if Dray meant his breakfast or mine.
Knowing I had a weird time schedule, I took a nap around four in the morning and got up
right around seven. I called Deidra for extra black coffee and some pancakes. Once Id wolfed
those down, I asked for directions to Drays rooms. Deidra had this weird smile on her face
while she gave me instructions on where to go. I wanted to ask her about it, but was too
afraid of the answer. Chickening out was out of the question, even if my conversation with
Yana at the studio yesterday freaked me out.
Luka still hadnt said a word to me. He wouldnt even come within a meter of me. I didnt
get what was going on between us, but I promised myself I would clear the air after my visit
with the bands resident mad scientist.
I climbed the steps toward the third floor, feeling like Belle when she separated herself
from Cogsworth and Lumiere to explore the beasts room. With my trusty camera, I told
myself Dray was a hundred times tamer than the beast. Surely he wouldnt hurt me. Right?
At the top of the steps, I shook crazy thoughts out of my head. At the dinners something
was off about Dray, but I liked his company. He seemed the most naturally expressive of the
band. Well, except when he was behind a drum set. Only then did he withdraw into a deep
place. Seeing him out of that element sparked a reckless excitement in me. It helped stamp
down my fears when I took a left and followed the hallway to the very end.
At the solid wooden door that had an overhead lamp that cast a spotlight on the threshold,
I paused and raised my fist. I swallowed, reminding myself what I was at Lunar Manor for.
Sometimes I forgot because of everything that happened around me. Living with the band felt
like living away from the real world. I needed to focus. Needed to get the shots that would
catapult my career.
Before my knuckles made contact with the door, a voice behind it said, Youre late!
I flinched. Id left my room at eight sharp. Surely it hadnt been ten minutes since then.
Im sorry?
What for? The voice behind the door sounded nearer now.
The tip of my eyebrow twitched. For being late? I didnt know when you usually had
breakfast, I quickly added. Im usually asleep at this time of day.
The door flew open, revealing a wild-haired Dray. Chronic insomnia left untreated
increases risk of alcohol abuse, he said then waved me in. Cmon.
Ill keep that in mind? Why the hell was I speaking in questions? Seconds in his
presence and already Dray threw me for a loop. This was gonna be an interesting day.
Without another word, he turned on his heel and walked deeper into his room. Or at least
I thought it was his room. But a couple of steps in I had to reevaluate my definition of room.
What should have been the living area was littered with stainless steel tables instead of
couches. The kind found in a Chemistry lab. And on top of the tables were beakers and test
tubes and Bunsen burners among other stuff I didnt recognized. I cursed myself for not
paying more attention in Chemistry class. I always hated lab because of my patch. My lack of
depth perception meant I broke more than my fair share of test tubes. I kept over shooting
the rack when putting the glass tube into the hole. Eventually, my lab partner took over all
the heavy lifting and I was forced to take notes. Not that I complained.
Now, being among the bubbling multi-colored chemicals, I kept my hands close to my
chest and my arms tight against my sides. Who knew what a stray elbow could do? I stayed
perfectly in the middle of the paths between the tables, taking careful steps. I got the sense that one
misstep and I could collide with something that might alter my genetic makeup. I
didnt need an extra arm today, thank you very much. If I could make myself smaller, I would
have.
Dray walked on without a care, confident in where he was going. The florescent lamps
above us gave the place a bright yet eerie air. Luka was right. His cousin did have a mad
scientist in him. It was disconcerting to see Dray in a different environment.
Dont be afraid, he said over his shoulder as if he smelled my fear. Im not cooking
Meth or anything dangerous. Well He paused and scratched his head then pointed toward
one table. Except that table. The chemicals there might be dangerous if disturbed.
I took note of the table he pointed at and made a mental note to avoid it at all costs.
Thankfully, it stayed at a far corner. I didnt see myself wandering toward that section any
time soon.
My tightened grip on my camera reminded me of my job. I lifted it so I saw Dray through
the viewfinder and took a picture of him pouring the contents of two test tubes into a beaker
then swirling it to mix everything together.
What are you working on? I decided to engage him in conversation. Most subjects
relaxed into the shoot more if the photographer spoke to them about whatever they were
doing at the time. Bringing out interests worked just as well too. Hobbies. Whatever. Just get them
talking and you get the most natural shots.
I hate the glow in the dark paint in the market, he said, taking a glass rod and using it to mix further
what was already in the beaker he focused on. So I said why not make some of
my own?
My eyebrow lifted over the viewfinder. Of course! Why not make your own glow in the
dark paint? I may have severely underestimated the real intelligence of the band members. I
snapped a couple more shots before lowering my camera.
Whats the paint for?
He shrugged. I dont know yet. He moved toward the light switch at the back wall and
flicked it down. A majority of the liquids in their glass containers came to life. I gasped,
immediately adjusting my cameras settings and taking pictures. It looked like we were
standing in the middle of some psychedelic club they served glow in the dark drinks. It was
hauntingly beautiful. Ideas immediately swirled around in my head.
You sure you dont know what you want to do with these? I picked up a beaker of electric
blue paint. I swirled it around, mesmerized by the color. It reminded me of a certain bassists eye
color who currently avoided me like I had a bad case of B.O.
Dray came toward me and smiled, his teeth glowed white and I realized hed switched the
florescent for black light. Wow! He took the beaker out of my hand.
How are you liking your stay at Lunar Manor so far? He leaned forward a little too
closely, invading my personal space.
I leaned back only because if I didnt the tip off his nose would touch mine. Its been
uneventful so far.
The first recorded use of the word boredom was only 160 years ago, he said, moving
back to stand up straight.
Is that right? I scratched my cheek, which brought his attention to my eye patch. He
didnt reach for it like Luka always seemed to do, but he didnt take his eyes off it either.
Pirates wore eye patches to keep one eye adjusted to darkness while boarding another
ship.
I chuckled. Well, arent you full of fun facts?
He dropped his gaze and ran his hand through his hair, further messing up the already
messy spikes. The strands stuck every direction. Yana says I should keep it to myself when
Im in public.
Were certainly not in public now. My heart softened toward Dray. There was something
sweet about him that I hadnt seen until now.
He nodded and made an hmph sound that endeared him further to me. I knew right
away what I wanted to do with him for my project. I smiled, showing him my own white set
of teeth under the black light.
How much of the glow in the dark paint do you have?
Dray looked around his lab. About a couple galloons if you put them all together.
No! He flinched at my tone. I shook my hands at him. Dont mix the colors together.
Okay, I wont. But where is this going?
My smile grew wider. Have you ever been splatter drumming, Dray? When he shook his
head, I patted him on the shoulder. Well, gather up all your homemade glow in the dark
paint. As many colors as you have. Make sure not to mix them.
The mad scientist tilted his head at me, considering my words. And where would you like
me to bring the paint?
Leave the location scouting to me. I turned to leave then whirled back around. Oh, do
you have an old drum set that you dont use anymore? The kind you wouldnt mind getting
paint on?
I saw the cogs in Drays head move as he considered my question, then he said, I have an
old Ludwig kit that I dont use anymore.
Ludwig?
Yeah, I was really into the Beatles a couple years back. He scratched the back of his head.
I wanted the drums Ringo Star used.
Letting the reference sink in, I let out a slow whistle. Just how rich are you?
Me personally?
No, dont answer that. I dont want to get depressed this early in the morning.
Dray gave me the most charming smile. I almost wanted to hug him, but I didnt. There
was only one person in the band Id planned on getting unprofessional with and he turned me
down flat. Okay, not thinking about him anymore. I went back to our conversation.
Dig up your old Ludwig and wait for me to tell you where to bring them. Well have your
photo shoot right before dinner, just after sunset.
Some cultures believe taking a picture takes your soul.
That one I knew. I squeezed his shoulder. Be ready for me this afternoon, okay?
He nodded with earnest. I turned back around and headed for the door. My mind swirled
with ideas.
A couple steps later I stopped and said, Uh, Dray?
Yeah? I heard him from behind me.
Will you switch the lights back on? Despite his fun fact about pirates, my one eye
couldnt adjust well enough to the darkness to get me safely to the door. I didnt want to
knock over any of Drays experiments.
Right.
A couple of seconds of shuffling later, the florescent lights flickered on. I breathed a sigh
of relief. I was standing perilously close to one of the tables. If I hadnt stopped right then I would
have collided with it.
Sidestepping so I returned to the center of the path, I moved to leave. The door to Drays
lab opened with so much force I was glad I hadnt reached it or I would have been hurt. My
heart jumped into my throat when the thick wood slammed against the opposite wall. Calixta
stood by the entrance, breathing hard.
Dray! I had a feeling both Dray and I flinched at her tone. You better have the hair dye
ready. Im this close to strangling Yana. She lifted her hand so everyone could see the tiny
space shed left between her thumb and forefinger.
You make hair dye too? I looked over my shoulder at Dray. His eyes were wide open like
a deer caught in the headlights.
Premature greying can be a result of large amounts of stress, he stammered out.
I dont have time for your facts, Dray. Calixta marched into the room like a Centurion
ready for war. Yana wants yellow streaks in her hair. Yellow! Shes already fucking blond.
She shook her head, muttering what sounded like interesting curse words beneath her
breath.
Im sorry, Dray, I said. Our eyes met for a second and I saw the distress there. Poor guy,
but I couldnt save him. He had to know that.
Even if it felt like deserting Dray to deal with Calixta on his own, I forced myself to escape through
the open door. I had locations to scout and another nap to take. If I wanted the photo shoot to happen
before dinner, I needed to survive. Right now, with Calixta in a snit, I prayed she would leave Dray
healthy enough for what I had planned for him.
My steps sped up the second Calixtas keening wail reached my ears.
Chapter Sixteen
Drummer
Another quick catnap and a barrel of coffee later, I scoured the Lunar Manor grounds for
the perfect location for Drays shoot. I knew we couldnt splatter drum inside the house. The
servants would hate me, and I didnt particularly appreciate the idea of being poisoned any
time soon. Plus, to get the full effect, we needed to be outdoors where house lights wouldnt
be an issue. I needed the glow in the dark paint to pop.
Because of my idea for Dray, I finally had a reason to face the daunting task of exploring
the manor grounds. I tried to keep the location as near to the house as possible, considering
the people who would be carrying jars of paint and the drum kit. Another reason the servants
might hate me if I picked a place too far. The gardeners ire was a definite possibility.
Hopefully Dray could whip up something to remove the paint without damaging the plants.
I started my search from my room terrace. It did open to the back garden. Several huge
fountains created a center aisle, cutting the garden in half. Winter hadnt officially arrived yet, but
with the weird weather in Crescent City, I couldnt be sure how long the fair weather would last. If I
wanted to take advantage of a garden shoot, now would be the time.
At one corner of the garden grew a magnificent oak. I ran my palm over its trunk, loving
the feel of the rough bark beneath my fingers. The leaves rustled as if appreciating my caress.
I smiled.
A beauty aint she? a gnarly old man said in my periphery.
That she is. I nodded and turned to face him. Between his lips sat a simple pipe, smoke
curling from it. He stood there in his overalls and rubber boots, narrowing his eyes at me.
Ya be da photographer lady evryns gossiping aboot. He waved his pipe at me.
That I am. How did I suddenly enter a historical novel? I grinned. Are you the gardener?
Deidra said Id run into you here.
Wat happnd der? he pointed his pipe at my patch.
My heartbeat sped up every time questions about my patch came up. I dropped my gaze
and clutched my camera closer to my chest. He must have felt my discomfort because he
chuckled. A gruff sound.
I mean no dsrespec. Me brother had dem patch too. Los is eye in the war. I curious is
all. I lifted my gaze just as he returned his pipe to his lips then sucked and blew. White
smoke barreled my way before floating up to the sky. Instead of acrid, the smoke actually
smelled sweet. Aw cn I help ya tday?
His crooked smile comforted me while his question allowed me to focus on the task at
hand. Im looking for a place where Dray could play his drums and splatter paint without
disturbing any of your hard work.
Der be paint involvd? He frowned.
Yes. My heart sped up for a whole different reason now. I dont believe the paint is toxic
in any way. At least I hope it isnt. And Im sure Dray can come up with something to clean up
whatever mess we make that wont kill your plants. Thats why Im scouting. I need a place
thats outdoors but that doesnt destroy what you have here. I touched the oak again. It must have
been decades old.
The gardener considered my words. For some reason he reminded me of Gandalf. I waited
patiently, praying my hardest that hed come up with some sort of compromise. And just
because I couldnt help myself, I took a picture of him as well. So deep in thought was he that he
didnt notice.
When I thought he would send me away without a compromise, he nodded and said, I
beleev I hav just da place for ya. Dis be messy, I sppose?
Most likely. I didnt want to lie to him.
Gud, gud. He turned on his heel and waved me over. Dis way.
Whats your name, I asked as he led me toward the left side of the property.
Gregory, but da masta calls me Greg. The way he hobbled on bowlegs touched a soft spot
in me. I suddenly wanted to hug him. Then what he said sunk in.
Master?
Luka. He chuckled good-naturedly. Wach dat boy grow, dat I did.
A part of me wanted to interrogate the man about the master of the house, but I wasnt
some reporter looking for information. Plus, I got the feeling the servants Luka employed
were loyal as hell due to the lack of inside sources news floating around on the Net. So,
instead of beating a dead horse with a stick, I focused my curiosity on Lunar Manor.
How big are the grounds exactly, Gregory?
Approx fithy acres. He grunted.
And you take care of all that? I did the math and my jaw dropped. Lunar Manor was
sitting on land half the size of Disneys Magic Kingdom. That was huge!
I hav elp. He cackled. Wood dis be gud?
I moved my gaze from the center of his back to where he pointed his pipe and was blown
away by the huge hedge maze that came into view. We were about a football field away from
the house. A little too far for my taste, but I was already in love with the location.
Come. Gregory waved me inside and I eagerly followed, taking pictures along the way. Id
never been in a hedge maze before and it smelled divine. Grassy, forest-ybasically, if green
had a smell, it would be a hedge maze.
At about ten minutes into the maze was a square clearing with a round circle of white
pebbles. I gasped in wonder.
Dis be da cener. Gregory gestured with his pipe.
Its perfect! My voice climbed several octaves. I bounced around, unable to contain my
excitement. I already saw where the drums would go and how the paint would look splattered
on the stone and the surrounding area.
We coud isly change da pebbles if da paint dn come off. The gardener crossed his arms,
looking really pleased with himself. I couldnt blame him.
I whirled around and kissed Gregory on the cheek, bringing a red blush out of the old
mans face. Ill let Dray know. Thank you so much for bringing me here, Gregory.
Aw shucks. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and pretended to kick an imaginary rock
out of the way. apy to elp.
Grinning, I made my way back to the entrance, only getting lost once. I had to find Dray.
We only had a couple of hours to set up before dark. I wanted to catch the shot just as the sun called it
a night.
***
By sundown, I carried my camera equipment back to the maze. Id informed Dray about
where we would shoot and he seemed pleased, spouting facts about hedge mazes and
muttering to himself about his Ludwig drum set. I gave him a time to meet and he said hed
be there with the paint.
At the entrance to the maze, I already heard drum beats reverberate from within. With an
excited smile, I let the enthusiastic drumming play me toward the center. Good thing since I
didnt have time to get lost. Evening was fast approaching. Pink bled into purple above me. I
wanted to get set up while we could still see. Then, once it was dark enough that the paint
glowed its brightest, we would begin.
Hefting my tripod over my shoulder and rounding the corner toward the center, I said,
You ready to have fun, Dray?
The drumming stopped and I looked up. My breath hitched. At the center of the pebble
circle was the drum kit but behind it wasnt the black-haired, crazy drummer I was expecting.
Hey, Luka said, one of his arms poised to bring the drumstick he held down on the right
cymbal.
Hey, I breathed out, unsure what else to say.
Dray asked me to help him set up the kit while he picked up his paint. What paint?
Were splatter drumming. I shook my head. Youre talking to me again?
He brought his arm down as if he just remembered it was poised to hit the cymbal. I was
never not talking to you.
Right. My eyebrow cocked. Is that why Im sitting beside Calixta at dinner instead of
beside you?
The bolt on Lukas brow went up as he mirrored my eyebrow arch. You saying you dont
like your new sitting arrangement? If I recall, you told me to keep my hands away from you.
If you sit by my side at the table I cannot guarantee that request.
With each sentence he finished my cheeks grew hotter. My heart did a double layout with
one twist, probably one of the hardest skills in gymnasticsthe only sport I watched during
the summer Olympics besides mens swimming.
And, his voice brought my attention back to him, Yana said to leave you alone for a
couple days.
Yeah. I ducked my head in a failed attempt to hide my blush. She called it adjusting to
my surroundings.
Are you fully adjusted yet?
Why did his questions have a layer of sexual undertone? Or could it be that my mind was
perpetually in the gutter where Luka was concerned? I couldnt help it. I didnt think he could get any
sexier until he sat behind a drum set. To hide my desire, I focused on my boiling
annoyance.
Is there an instrument you cant play? I planted my tripod and adjusted the legs to the
right height. With what I had planned, I needed a steady camera angle to capture the right
shot.
Luka shrugged in that maddening way of his. Every musician worth his salt should know
how to play every instrument in his band.
His words didnt surprise me. I felt the same way about being a photographer. Why do
something if you werent going to be your best at it? Luka wasnt messing around with
Vicious. He really put his heart and soul into it. I had Poison on repeat all night last night.
The lyrics were so pure, like they came from a painful place inside him.
I opened my veins willingly for you.
That line stuck with me. It was so raw, and the way Luka sang it, like he was begging
someone to either save him or kill him, got me every time. Poison was a song Id be happy to
get LLS onlast song syndrome. I could hum it by heart now.
Do you like it?
The question threw me off as I attached my camera to the tripod. Like what?
The song. He tilted his head, his gaze open and curious.
I hadnt known Id been humming it until his clarification. I played my embarrassment
down by pursing my lips. Its catchy.
Luka threw his head back and laughed. My finger automatically went to the shutter
release. I didnt have to look through the viewfinder to know what I was capturing. Damn
him for being so photogenic. Thank God everything was digital now because I got a feeling I
would be going through tons of film just on Luka alone. No shot wasted. When the time came
that I had to think about his shoot, it was gonna be hard to choose which photos I would use
for the project. Sweat dampened my palms. Wasnt going there for now. I still had twenty-six
days to figure stuff out. For now, I focus on Dray.
Whats splatter drumming? Luka asked when he finally settled down.
The art of drumming with glow in the dark paint, Dray said from behind us. There is a
cool video on YouTube you should see. In his arms were jars of his already glowing paint. I
hadnt noticed the creeping darkness until hed arrived. The gloom hovered above us.
You did your research. I grinned. Good.
Where do you want the paint? Dray asked.
Over there by the corner. I pointed where I wanted him to place the jars and six more
servants followed him, each carrying baskets filled with multi-colored paint. And just to show Drays
OCD tendencies, each basket was color coordinated. All the blues were together. The
same with the reds, yellows, greens, even the various shades of pink and purple. I think you
have every color of the rainbow there.
And then some. I didnt know what you wanted, so I decided to bring everything. He
smiled at me like a little boy who knew he did a good job and wasnt afraid to show it.
I patted him on the shoulder. Dray must have been a couple years younger than me. At
least, it seemed that way. I saw him as a baby bro at this point, he was so adorkable.
The servants with their eerily similar built and hair color deposited the last of the baskets
at the corner Id specified and left without a word.
Im so glad you survived Calixta, I told Dray. He scratched his cheek.
When you give her what she wants, she usually calms down.
We shared a smile before I said, So, shall we get this show on the road?
Do you want me to leave? Luka asked as he came to my side.
I considered it for a second. I wasnt the type who needed to be alone with my subject to
work, but with the way Luka affected me, like right now everything below my navel quivered
just at the scent of him, I almost wanted to kick him out. Almost. In the end, my need to get
the perfect shot won out.
You can be my trusty assistant. Hands on my hips, I surveyed the space then faced Dray.
He was in a black sweater and jeans. You really did do your research.
He nodded. It was indicated in an article I read that wearing black would make the paint
stand out.
What do you want me to do? Luka bent over the baskets of paint. Early evening was
upon us, making the paint glow brighter. Just the right time I was waiting for. Dray, these
are awesome.
If Dray had a tail, hed be wagging it right about now.
Why dont you sit behind the drums? I motioned him toward the kit and he padded
toward it. Oh, Dray, Gregory wants to know how the paint will come off.
Its water soluble and non-toxic.
Just the words I wanted to hear. I smiled so hard, my cheeks hurt. If only all my shoots
with the rest of the band would be this easy. Youre a genius.
Dont compliment him too much, Luka teased. Itll go to his head.
Dray didnt seem to hear him because he was already twirling the drumsticks in his hands,
studying each drum in the kit.
He really goes into his own world when he gets behind a drum set, doesnt he? I
whispered to Luka.
He leaned toward me when he responded. Drumming is like an escape for him. Dray told
me once that when hes playing, its the only time he silences the thoughts in his head.
I got that. I really did. Alright, pick up a couple colors and pour them on each drum. Make
sure you get a good pool on the tom-toms and snare.
Do you want me to get some on the cymbals and bass?
Yes, but not as much. Lets work it by ear. Were aiming for maximum splatter and not
really trying to create music.
One half of Lukas mouth pulled up in the most delectable grin. Ive got just the drum
solo he should play.
I swallowed, I couldnt help myself. Ill leave it up to you then. I fidgeted with my
cameras settings because if I didnt focus on what I had to get done, I would jump Luka and
do all manner of evil things to his body, Drays photo shoot be damned.
Chapter Seventeen
Midnight
Dray, Luka, and I were all smiles and covered in glow in the dark paint when we stumbled
into the manor. The servants couldnt hide their distaste at our messy state, but were way too polite to
actually say anything. We laughed and parted ways, only having just enough time to
shower and change before dinner.
For what seemed like hours at the dining table, Dray and Luka talked about nothing but
the splatter drumming and the shoot. Yana pursed her lips the whole time, muttering about
not being invited. When I teased her about getting her precious Gothic Lolita outfit dirty, she blanched
and we all laughed. Demitri wanted an invite too, but he quickly forgave me when I
told him he might be next on my shoot list.
The compliments Dray and Luka lobed my way almost felt undeserved. I couldnt
remember the last time Id blushed so much. And because of their praise, everyone wanted to
see the pictures. Even sourpuss Calixta. Keeping an I-mean-business look on my face, I shook
my head. No one would get to see them but me until the Spring Showcase. The pictures for
the project were sacred.
My jaw almost fell off when Luka defended me. He said something about how he wouldnt
show any of them a new song until it was ready. This they understood and I was pretty much
left alone until Phoenix pestered me about her own shoot. She had some ideas, that girl. I
told her Id let her know when inspiration struck me then excused myself from the table,
claiming work.
Before I made it all the way out of earshot Dray launched into another tale of his splatter
drumming experience. I remembered watching Luka through the viewfinder pour paint on
each of the drums as I instructed him, adjusting the focus. He had whispered something to a
serious looking Dray. The mad scientist drummer nodded once. Luka ran back to my side.
When I asked him what he told Dray, he just said to watch. So, I gave Dray the signal and it
was like fireworks. He executed a complicated drum solo. The paint muffled the pounding but
the splatter was spectacular. The explosion of color almost made me forget I was supposed to
take pictures. For the first time since meeting him, Dray didnt have his eyes closed. He
looked straight at me, a sexy smirk on his lips. Like he enjoyed himself beyond words. It
warmed my heart immensely that I was able to give him that experience.
A constant grin stretched my lips all the way back to my room. Not wanting to stall my
productive momentum, I went straight for my laptop and plugged in my camera. Small
splatters of paint still clung to the shutter release and lens. I waited until all the pictures were
downloaded.
One down, eight more to gothe tenth being the composite. I felt good about myself and
where the project was going. I already had a couple of new ideas swirling in my head for the
other band members. I crossed my arms, as I scanned through the photo gallery. Luka might
be the toughest one only because of my attraction to him. I knew I wanted him. My body
clenching every time I got a mere whiff of him told me so.
Thinking fast, I made the decision to save him for last. Id take care of Demitri and
Phoenix first because they were less of a mystery than their bands bassist. I should have
known from the time he played hard to get at Sacrifice that Luka would pose the biggest
challenge. Not that I minded. It only pushed me to become better. This meant good things for
the project and everyone won in the endespecially me.
By the time I stretched and leaned away from my laptop screen, the mini clock on the
sidebar blinked midnight. If I counted, I may have slept a total of two hours today. Not good, even for
an insomniac like me. Stifling a yawn, I rubbed my eyes and got out of my seat.
I stumbled to the bedroom straight for my bed. Its sheets called to me. I flicked the mint
aside and let my body fall. The second my head hit the pillow, I was out.
I hated this part of the dream.
I lay on my back spread out on the damp, cold ground, kicking and screaming. A hard slap
from one of the large hands lands across my face. Pain explodes on my cheek, swelling the
skin almost immediately. Dark spots pop before my eyes. Still I struggle. Kicking, scratching,
screaming. He whispers that no one will hear us. This is the first time I hear his voicedeep, gruff,
ugly. He straddles me. I feel the bulge between his legs and try to aim a punch or a hard kick at it. If I
can get up, I can get away. Something in my gut tells me he doesnt have the
strength to keep coming after me if I take off again.
The bodice of my dress rips, exposing my breast to the cold night air. I scream again,
twisting to my sideany way away from him.
Thats when the glint of a knife caught my eye.
I gasped awake, cold sweat covering my brow. I reached up for my patch, but it wasnt
where it was supposed to be. Small prickly balls of panic bounced around in my chest. I
pushed away from the sweat drenched sheets. On my hands and knees, I patted around. My
good eye useless in the darkness. A horrible whimper escaped my lips. My throat closed. I
couldnt take it. Where was the damn patch.
Just about to flip the sheets off the bed, my fingers brushed against the velvet hardness of
the small dome that kept my secret safe. Like what I did with my camera, I held the patch to
my chest until my breathing stopped sounding ragged to my ears. If my body didnt need
sleep, I wouldnt ever allow my eye to close ever again. The longer I stayed awake the safer I was
from my dreams.
Still shaking, but breathing less erratically, I crawled out of bed. In case someone was in
my east wing quarters, I covered my eye with my hand, my patch still held in the other. I
scrambled across the living area, cursing the distance of the bathroom from the bedroom.
Heading straight for the sink, I pushed the tap up and slashed cold water on my face. I didnt see
myself sleeping for the rest of the night. I made the mistake of looking at my reflection in the mirror.
My stomach twisted violently.
Face still dripping, I fell to my knees over the toilet and heaved. The seven course dinner I
was beginning to get used to at Lunar Manor came up the way it went down. Bitter acid
burned its way up my throat into my mouth. I coughed, unable to breathe. Tears streamed
from my good eye. A couple more wretched heaves followed, bowing my torso.
Feeling spent, and twice as exhausted, I flushed then rinsed out the sourness in my
mouth. For good measure, I avoided the mirror and grabbed a towel. After patting my face
dry, I returned the patch to its rightful place. Only then did I face the mirror. Feeling a
hundred times better, I grabbed my toothbrush.
Minty fresh breath later, I padded out of the bathroom, prepared to get back to work.
When I got to my desk, my gaze wandered to the terrace. My heart constricted before it
doubled its beats. A figure sat with his back to my room on the banister. If he decided to push off, it
would be a one story fall. The best he could do was break a leg or an arm.
I chuckled. In what universe would Luka ever contemplate killing himself? As far as I was
concerned, he had the life. Famous. Rich. Gorgeous. What more could he ask for?
Leaving my laptop, I opened my terrace doors and leaned against the doorframe the way
he did the first time he escorted me to dinner. I crossed my arms, not minding my bare feet
on the cold stone.
Dont you ever sleep? I asked as a joke.
He shrugged, his long fingers curling around the banister behind him. Dont you?
When Deidra said wed be sharing the east wing, I didnt think youd be harassing me the
whole time.
I dont mean to be a bother.
The sadness in his statement confused me. I meant to tease, not to hurt. Unable to help
myself, I pushed away from the doorframe and joined him.
Luka looked up at the sky, his flaxen curls gleaming gray in the darkness. Our only light
came from inside my quarters. When I reached him, my heartbeat sped up for a different
reason. Had he seen me run to the bathroom?
Are you sick?
His question crushed my insides. No.
He twisted toward me slightly and touched my forehead. I didnt back away even if I
wanted too. Maybe the shock of how good his calluses felt against my skin kept me from
moving. His blue eyes scanned my face as if searching for something. For a second, I
wondered how that hand would feel squeezing my breast, his thumb teasing my nipple to life.
Thank goodness he dropped his hand before my thoughts scrambled and I completely forgot
myself.
You dont seem sick to me, he finally said, returning his attention to the sky.
Its because Im not. What are you looking at anyway? I looked up with him. This far
away from the city, the stars shined brightly above us. A blanket of diamonds in the sky.
Its not what Im looking at. He sighed. It must have been the saddest sound Id ever
heard from the way my heart jerked inside my chest. I would have teared up if I hadnt
already wasted my quota for the day in the bathroom. Its what Im looking for.
I swallowed. What are you looking for?
Answers, he whispered. They say, if you look up at the stars long enough, you will find
answers.
To what?
All of lifes questions.
How did we get philosophical all of a sudden? For the first time, no matter how beautiful
Luka looked, I didnt want to take his picture. I was afraid that if I went inside to grab my
camera he wouldnt be here when I got back.
I couldnt be sure what drove me to ask, Any specific questions youre looking for answers
too?
He turned to face me again. His hand brushed over the banister until his fingers touched
mine. My lips parted slightly when he took my hand and placed a soft kiss over my knuckles.
Not once did he remove his gaze from mine. I willed myself not to blink, not wanting to miss
a moment of what Luka was doing. My breath hitched when he turned my hand over and
kissed the center of my palm. The tip of his tongue darted out and traced my love and life
lines. My own tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, the inside having gone dry. Then Luka
spoke into my palm, his hot breath drying the wetness hed left behind.
Like if I wanted to kiss you, will you let me?
The muscles in my abdomen quivered. I heard no hint of teasing in his question. I cleared
my throat before swallowing.
But youre already kissing me, I said, admonishing myself for the tremor in my voice.
As if to prove my point, he kissed my palm again, open-mouthed this time. That I am. But
this isnt the only place I want to kiss you.
Squaring my shoulders, I took the dare in his tone. Where else?
He moved his lips to the sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist. Here. He licked the
cluster of veins there. I couldnt stop the shiver ravaging my body even if I wanted to.
Cold?
I shook my head. Go on. Where else.
Keeping his eyes on mine, Luka trailed kisses until he reached the inside of my elbow and
nipped the skin there. I twitched from the pleasure pain of the contact. He licked the spot
before running his hand up my arm until he closed it behind my neck. He pulled me closer
and I stopped thinking. My tongue darted across my lower lip, waiting, wanting what happens
next.
Can I kiss you here, Dakota? He ran his thumb along the exact same path the tip of my
tongue took earlier.
I dipped my chin once, unable to really nod because of the brace his hand behind my neck
created.
Say it, he whispered. Tell me what you want.
Yes. It came out more breath than word. I want you to kiss me.
Excruciatingly slow, Luka leaned in, never adjusting his seat on the banister. One mistake
and he would fall. But the consequences were the furthest from my mind. In fact, I barely had
any coherent thoughts. Luka took my bottom lip between his teeth and pulled me toward
him. I didnt resist. I was beyond resisting.
I took his face into my hands and crushed myself against him, plunging my tongue into his
mouth. With a groan, he moved his hand from my neck to the small of my back. He pressed
me against him. My nipples pebbled almost immediately inside my bra upon contact with his
chest. His heat enveloped me, banishing the cold of night.
As I ravaged his mouth like it was my first drink of water after a yearlong draught, I
noticed Luka only held me with one hand. He kept the other holding onto the banister. It
struck me as odd at first because I wanted both his hands on my body, but I stopped caring
when my tongue slammed against the metal stud in his mouth. God Almighty! A tongue ring.
I whimpered, shaking. I couldnt get enough. His spicy sweet scent extended into his taste. I
didnt care that I lapped at him. This kiss was sloppy, messy, and all kinds of sexy. At some
point I forgot to breathe and got light-headed. I needed air, but not even the Jaws of Life
could rip me away from Lukas delicious mouth.
Vaguely, I felt Lukas hand climb back up my spine to my hair. He closed it around the
strands and pulled. At first, I thought he was trying to keep my mouth against his. Seconds
later he tugged harder than what was considered sexual. I had to detach myself from him to
keep from having my scalp ripped off.
What are you doing? I stared into his hooded eyes. I barely caught the blue in them. His
long eyelashes created shadows against the tops of his cheekbones.
He breathed just as hard as I did when he finally met me stare for stare. Untamed desire
colored his irises black. I noticed then how hard he was shaking. His knuckles knocked
against the base of my skull. I whispered his name, my own desire morphing into fear. My
heart hammered in my ears.
He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. You better go.
Huh?
One by one he opened his fingers, his knuckles popping from the effort. They were so tight
against my hair that the pain pulsed from the roots. I actually hissed.
Just go! he growled.
Not until you tell me why, I demanded. I had to be angry because the alternative was far
more frightening.
Luka looked away from me and rubbed his hand over his face. Because if you dont go, I
dont think Ill be able to stop myself.
I shifted, trying my best not to massage the spot where his hand last touched my body.
What if I dont want you to stop?
He shook his head and sighed. Wrong fucking question, Dakota. Just leave before this
goes to a place you will surely regret.
I opened my mouth to argue, but my gaze dropped to his hand back on the banister. His
knuckles were so white I didnt think any blood circulated there anymore. Unable to
understand what had gotten into him, I backed away slowly. I knew when to cut my losses.
Eventually, I would get to the bottom of this. I promised myself that.
Chapter Eighteen
Kilts
By the end of my first week at Lunar Manor, it snowed. I woke up to a fresh blanket of
white over Gregorys meticulously kept grounds. Everything the snow touched looked so
pure. The sun glistened over the white, brightening up the place.
Not bothering to put on a jacket, I stepped out into the terrace, camera in my hands. I
breathed in the crisp air and snapped a couple of shots. The fountains lay dormant in the
frozen wonderland. It wasnt officially winter yet in Crescent City so the icy white could melt by late
afternoon, which pushed me to capture it. Thank goodness I got the splatter
drumming shots when I did. The paint would have looked good on the snow, but it wouldnt
have been the effect Id intended.
My gaze landed on the banister. I was a long way from figuring out why Luka wanted to
stop that night. It seemed like he had pushed me away but not because of anything I did.
When Id asked him about it before dinner the next night, he waved me away. It seemed Luka
answered questions only when good and ready. If he wasnt, good luck getting anything out of
him. Frustrated, I immersed myself in my work. I still needed eight photos for the project and I was
determined to capture at least one of them today.
A knock on the doorframe brought my attention back to my room. Deidra waved me in,
pointing at a cup of steaming coffee on my desk. I shivered and hurried back inside. I cradled the cup
in both hands and took a grateful sip, ignoring the burn on my tongue and throat.
Totally worth the sacrifice. The Lunar Manor kitchen made the best coffee. The robust brew
coated my tongue like a warm hug.
I stared at the black liquid as Deidra closed the terrace doors behind me. Why do I get the
feeling I will never find coffee this good out in the real world?
Deidra treated me to an unladylike snort-laugh. The real world?
Its true. I eyed her. This place feels like a whole different dimension.
Do you have laundry you want washed? Deidra asked.
I rolled my eye and pointed at the bathroom, and beyond the door, the hamper. I want
them washed and pressed please.
Certainly, Miss Dakota. The maid with gray hair emphasized the miss, and I laughed.
Now, why dont you eat your breakfast? I have a feeling you have a long day ahead of you.
Yana didnt mention anything last night about something significant happening today, so I
didnt know what Deidra hinted at. She slipped inside the bathroom before I could ask. My
stomach growled when my gaze landed on the fruit bowl and fresh yogurt.
Care to enlighten me? I asked when she reentered the living area with my bundled
clothes. A blush burned across my face when I caught sight of one of my bras dangling from
her grip. Having someone else do my laundry freaked me out, but I didnt want to find out the
consequence of doing my own load. Plus, I didnt know the location of the laundry room, so I
grinned and bore having my underwear washed by someone else by focusing on mixing a
dollop of yogurt with raspberries. The sweetness of the berries popping in my mouth mixed
well with the tartness of the yogurt.
Deidra lifted her eyebrows at me. How many photos have you taken for your project?
I wasnt surprised. If Gregory knew then surely everyone else did. I thought it only
happened on Downtown Abbey, but apparently servants really did gossip in real life.
One, I grumbled into my bowl.
And you have three weeks left to get nine more?
Eight, I said into my coffee cup.
Eight. She sighed like I was a child caught procrastinating on my homework. I didnt
have to see the eye roll to know it happened. Then you should get working then.
Alright, alright. My shoulders came up to my ears and stayed there. Ill get to work.
Deidra sniffed her satisfaction before padding out of my room.
***
After making sure my password on my laptop was securenot that I thought Deidra
snooped or anything like thatI ventured out of my room, camera at the ready. My mantra
for the day became: Im getting that second shot. I repeated it several times until I reached the first
floor landing.
I ambled for a bit until I heard hushed voices in the distance. I rounded the corner just in
time to hear Demitri say something about length. If you asked me, I should have turned
around and ran. Instead, I stepped into the drawing room and froze, jaw to the floor. At the
center of the room, Demitri stood on a circular platform in front of three mirrors. Bright
morning light bathed him like a marble statue in a museum, emphasizing the cuts of muscle
on his body. Calixta, with pins between her teeth, kneeled at his feet hemming aa
Is that a skirt? I blurted out. Did I mention Demitri was half naked? No? Well, yeah.
Holy Greek god, Batman!
He frowned at my question. Its a kilt.
Its a skirt, I repeated dumbly. The circuits in my brain were misfiring. Demitris abs
were a miracle of nature, each bump perfect.
Its leather, he said.
As if I couldnt sound any more like an idiot, I replied, Do you have to do that without a
shirt on, though?
Its funkin rock n roll! he growled.
Calixta and I shared a giggle and a loaded stare. When we realized wed had a moment, we
scowled and returned to what we were doingher hemming Demitris leather kilt and me
standing there staring like a fool. A part of me now understood the appeal of historical
romance novels involving Scottish men. A kilton the right bodywas hella sexy.
I snapped pictures of Demitri patiently waiting for Calixta to finish her work. Ideas for the
next shoot already forming in my mind.
Whats the kilt for? I asked, kneeling with Calixta and pointed my camera up to capture
his perfection at an upward angle. With his long hair spilling over his massive shoulders, he
really resembled a dark-haired highlander who slayed hearts with a guitar instead of a sword.
Demitri spread his legs apart and rested his hands on his narrow hips. The band in leather
kilts in the snow is one of Lukas concepts for the Poison music video.
Luka came up with this?
Yeah. What about it?
I froze. The response didnt come from Demitri. I turned in a tight circle to keep from
bumping into Calixta. God forbid she pricks Demitri when she worked so close to his junk.
And based on what I saw beneath that kilt while on my knees, Phoenix must be one happy
girl.
Luka stepped from behind a wooden screen at one side of the room I hadnt noticed when
I came in. How could I when my gaze was locked on the gorgeous piece of manflesh on the
platform. I had to correct myself. Demitri may look like a Greek god, but Luka embodied a
blond, delicious Loki in that kilt. Granted, none of these pantheons wore kilts, but my mind
was running away with me. He wore the kilt with a tight, black wifebeater. His messy mop of
curls framed his face so well. It didnt help that my lips still remembered the feel of his
mouth on mine and how intoxicating he tasted. And lets not forget the sinful tongue ring he
hid expertly.
How long have you been standing there? I stammered out.
His eyebrows rose, taking the bolt on one of them up a notch. Long enough.
It was times like this when I wished I had both eyes to fully appreciate what I was seeing.
Let him see what his mere presence did to me, not bothering to hide my stare. I wanted him
to know what he was depriving me of.
My tactic must have worked because a slight blush crossed Lukas cheekbones before he
ran his fingers through his curls. The muscles on his arm flexed at the movement. My skin
still tingled at the memory of the rings on those long digits.
Why the kilts? I asked when the silence got a little too awkward.
Luka wants to give the ladies something to think about. Demitri laugheda deep and
throaty sound.
Its a symbol. Luka took a step forward. Scottish warriors wear kilts. They are fierce in
battle.
What does it have to do with the song?
We are going into battle for our hearts, to rid ourselves of the poison there.
Okay, not quite getting it. I pursed my lips but didnt say anything. I decided I needed to
see what the rest of the video was about before I could make any judgments on Lukas choice
of wardrobe.
Alright, youre done. Calixta slapped Demitri in the ass and shooed him off the platform.
Your turn, Your Highness. She crooked a finger at Luka.
Your Highness? I asked, laughing. That came out of left field.
Everyone in the room paused. Luka looked pointedly at Calixta. She didnt seem affected
by the heat in his glare. Demitri slapped Luka on the shoulder and laughed again before
looking at me. Okay, that got pretty weird fast.
Dont mind Calixta. She likes giving everyone nicknames, he said to me, mischief in his
dark as night eyes.
Its because hes so high and mighty, Calixta added before she bit down on a couple more
pins.
Luka snorted, taking his place on the platform. The tension deflated. I chuckled. Luka all
high and mighty. He certainly had the attitude. And if he was pulling the strings in Vicious,
hed definitely need the air of arrogance only royalty possessed.
Demitri and Luka mumbled to each other about the video they would shoot tomorrow
while I continued to take pictures and Calixta got to hemming his kilt. For a second, I
wondered what was under there, but I played the good girl and abstained from kneeling in
front of Luka. The last thing I needed was for him to have that image of me. Then I noticed
the edges of a tattoo peeking out of the collar of Lukas tank top behind his neck. I couldnt make out
what it was, the black cotton completely obscuring the design. Like a curious cat, I
wanted to see it. The how was the problem. The naughty part of me wished Luka would walk
around half-naked the way Demitri did. The saner part of me knew my heart couldnt take it
if he did. I silently thanked him for that.
What time is the shoot starting tomorrow? I asked, checking the settings on my camera.
Dawn, Luka said over his shoulder.
I groaned. I just climbed into bed at that time. Crap!
And itll last most of the day, depending on Mr. Perfectionist here. Demitri hiked his
thumb at the fallen angel reflected in three mirrors and Luka swiped at his cousins shoulder.
I didnt believe I caught the moment until I stared at it on the digi screen. Demitri was
grinning up at Luka who was scowling down at him. Their interaction looked so dynamic in
the stillness of the picture. And as dumb luck would have it, Calixta wasnt in the frame. She must
have reached for something because when I looked back at the three of them, she
kneeled in front of Luka again. What a fortuitous moment.
A self-satisfied grin pulled at my lips.
What is it?
Looking up, my gaze locked with Lukas as he stared at me from the center mirror. My grin
turned into a full on smile. Looks like its gonna be another sleepless night for me.
Luka mirrored my smile with a sexy one of his own. Just the way I like it.
Chapter Nineteen
Video
Considering the day ahead of me, I forced myself into a power nap an hour before the
shoot started. The film crew and production staff had arrived after midnight, already setting
up. Id been wrong about the snow. It hadnt melted. It actually snowed on the poor crew, but
none of them seemed to complain. They just kept working, once in a while brushing off a pile
of flakes on their heads. I briefly wondered if they had to sign an NDA as well then quickly
corrected myself. Of course they had. Yana wouldnt have them on the property if they hadnt.
Id uploaded the pictures Id taken of the dashing cousins in their leather kilts and
mentally chastised myself for ogling and not working. Man, these guys were way too good
looking. In fact, it seemed their family hogged the gene pool when evolution handed out the
best traits. I would have considered it unfair if I hadnt been given a chance to photograph
them. Could anybody say easy A? I slapped my cheeks. No! I couldnt allow myself to let my
guard down. Just because I had the most photogenic bunch in the history of good-looking
people didnt mean the pictures would come out perfect. I still had a lot of work to do.
But the second my head hit the pillow, a loud banging forced me off my bed and its warm
sheets with a groan. Didnt they know I needed my beauty sleep? I snorted at my own joke as
I shuffled toward the door. It couldnt have been Deidra because she always let herself in, and Luka
would rather use the terrace we shared than actually knock at my door.
The banging continued, more insistent now.
Hold your horses! I snapped. Im coming!
I yanked the door open. A fuming Calixta with bags under her eyes and several strands of
hair out of place breathed heavily in the hallway. I considered slamming the door in her face.
Youre here because I blinked at her, bleary-eyed.
Without answering my implied question, Calixta dragged me into the hallway by my wrist.
Hey! I pulled back but she didnt let go. For someone short, Calixta stored major
strength. I must have outweighed her by at least ten pounds and yet I couldnt free myself
from her grip. The hand is still attached you know!
She closed the door behind me and said, I dont have time for this. The model who was
supposed to take part in the shoot dropped out last minute. The bitch! We dont have time to
vet anyone else. Luka suggested that we use you.
Wait, what? I stood there dumbstruck.
Are you hearing me? Calixta started moving, taking me with her whether I moved or not.
Still in shock trying to process her words, I let her tug me along, not wanting to risk
dislocating my wrist.
I heard you. I just dont think Im the right person for the job.
Dont be a baby about it. All you have to do is wear this wicked dress, walk around in the
forest for a couple of minutes then lie on a concrete slab pretending youre asleep or dead,
whichever you like. I prefer dead, but thats just me.
Calixtas rapid fire words confused the hell out of me. We hurried along busy hallways. It
seemed no one in Lunar Manor was getting any sleep today. The activity reminded me of a
shaken ant farm, frantic yet focused. I even spotted Deidra carrying a chafing dish toward
somewhere. She disappeared around a corner so quickly, I wasnt sure it was her at first.
My warden led me into the drawing room and took me behind the wooden screen Luka
used earlier to dress in his kilt. The memory almost gave me mental block.
Strip, Calixta commanded.
What? I blinked at her like she wasnt speaking English.
She must have caught on and enunciated her next words. Take off your damn clothes and
put that on. That was a garment bag which I assumed contained the dress. Then come out and Ill
make adjustments to your frame. But from the looks of you, I think you have the
same measurements as the model.
Calixta, I dont think
Dont think. Just do. When she huffed, I half expected flames to come out. Like I said, I
dont have time for this. If you dont get into that dress, I will put it on you myself. And I promise, that
will not be pleasant.
Sufficiently frightened, I nodded. Calixta gave me privacy without my asking for it. In my
underwear, I unzipped the garment bag and just stared. The dress was black, which I began to
see was the color scheme Vicious liked to work with. The leather bodice tied in with the
leather kilt theme. But I couldnt understand the skirt. It was completely made out of
feathers. Just unzipping the bag already caused it to molt. The dress was gorgeousand
expensive. Id never been in anything so beautiful.
Are you sure this is what I have to wear? I combed my fingers through the silky feathers.
They looked and felt so real.
Dont wear a bra, Calixta said in response. She sounded calmer than before, so I breathed
easier.
Not willing to incur her wrath, I removed my bra and shimmied into the dress. The damn
thing weighed a ton. I grunted when the zipper got stuck halfway up my back.
Whats taking you so long? Calixta joined me again behind the screen.
I think my boobs are too big for this dress. The ladies were already feeling crushed to my
chest and the zipper hadnt even fully closed yet.
Of course not. Suck in a deep breath.
I did as I was told, and with a deft flick of her wrist, Calixta zipped the dress closed. I
groaned. My breasts were officially melded to my lungs and I couldnt breathe. I squeaked so
to Calixta and she laughed at me. Note to self, the woman liked torture.
Come on. I need to put you in the shoes then its off to hair and makeup. Calixta left me
to navigate walking in the dress by myself.
With the tight bodice and the heavy skirt, I was pretty sure I would stumble and face plant.
Feathers would rain down on my humiliation. I could see the picture already. Unwilling to
fall in such a gorgeous dress, I yanked the skirt up with both hands and stomped my way to
the platform. If this was Lukas idea of a joke, I wouldnt give him the satisfaction of getting to laugh.
Like everything I did, I would put a hundred and fifty percent into this. How hard
was it to walk around and pretend to be dead afterward?
I shouldnt have asked that question because after a couple of hours in hair and makeup,
where Calixta argued with me about removing my patch and I told her in many colorful and
creative words shed have to pry it from my cold, dead face, the director of the video forced
me to trudge in the snow in stiletto boots while Poison played in the background. Calixta,
bemoaning my tackyher word, not minepatch, struck a compromise. She made it work
by blow drying my hair so the strands covered half my face. She retouched my lipstick before
I weaved through the trees in one section of the properly. The graying light gave me
confidence that I wouldnt break my neck in the dark, but I moved slowly anyway to
compensate for my depth perception issues. The heavy skirt dragged behind me in the snow,
creating a hushed hiss. The director asked me to look over my shoulder and pout. I did as
asked, biting down to keep from laughing. The photographer had become the model, and I
didnt know how to feel about it. Ridiculous was the word that came to mind.
When the director yelled cut, I asked one of the servants to grab my camera from my
room. It pained me to have someone else touch my pride and joy, but if I wanted to capture
pictures of this moment, then I needed my camera. Calixta pulled me out of my room so fast
that I didnt have time to take it with me.
Not ten minutes later, I felt better with its familiar weight in my hands. We must have
been shooting for an hour now and I still hadnt gotten a glimpse of the band. Calixtas
assistant in her awesome mohawk ran up to retouch my makeup.
Ugh! she said. With your pale skin and that gorgeous dress, your lips are just luscious.
This color suits you so well, Im envious.
I chuckled in embarrassment. The closest I ever got to makeup was concealer for
particularly splotchy days after a sleepless night and cherry Chap Stick.
Dont tell me Im the only one here. I scanned the crew. Wheres the band?
Oh, theyre with Calixta for hair and makeup.
What? You mean I had to be up super early and theyre just in hair and makeup now? I
leaned away from the giant puff she patted my face with. I grumbled and whined. I knew this.
I accepted it.
They havent slept. The assistant sighed. We all havent slept.
Her confirmation of my suspicions deflated some of my attitude. Can I at least have some
coffee? I didnt have to worry about freezing because of the multiple layers of skirt and the full-
length kidskin gloves Calixta shoved my arms into. But caffeine would be nice before I
keeled over from exhaustion. Trudging in the snow in a two ton dress was a workout on a
body with little to no sleep.
The assistant grimaced at me. And ruin my perfect lipstick application?
If you say no, I cant promise not to throw a tantrum, I warned.
Sighing, she rolled her eyes. Youre gonna have to drink it out of a straw.
I grinned, showing teeth. The perfect compromise.
The band finally made an appearance around midmorning. Their instruments had been set
up by one of the great fountains. Phoenix cooed at my dress, taking my hands in hers.
Demitri made a lewd comment about birds while Dray shared a fact about feathers. Luka said
nothing. But then again, he merely had to stare. The heat in his eyes was enough to convey
what he was thinking. My stomach tumbled. I almost reached up to touch my patch.
Yana called out instructions like a general, superseding the director, who seemed content
to have her take the reins. Smart man. I didnt think anyone who argued with Yana lived to
tell the tale.
Happy I wasnt needed for this portion of the video I sat down and went into photographer
mode. All the band members wore heavy eye makeup, which emphasized their eye color.
Seeing the guys in their leather kilts made me smile. Luka and Demitri looked hot, but Dray
was downright adorable. He grumbled about having his junk hanging out since he had to sit
down. Demitri told his brother he didnt have to worry since the bass drum covered
everything.
Phoenix was the only one not in a kilt. Instead, she wore tight leather pants that seemed
like they were painted on and a tank top similar to the one Luka and Dray wore. Demitri, as
usual and to the delight of the women on set, remained shirtless, exposing his magnificent
tattoos. If I had that much ink done Id show them off too.
Everyone took their positions and the director called action. For this set up, the band
would sing Poison without having to change locations. They let the song play out then the
director asked for a camera to get a three-sixty shot of the band while performing the song.
This one shot lasted ninety minutes. By now everyone on the crew had Poison memorized.
Thank goodness the song was catchy or my ears would have been bleeding. Everyone took an
hour for lunch but just as quickly got back to work.
My gaze kept darting to Luka, watching him work. He conferred with the director then
with Yana. He spoke to everyone in the crew, down to the grips, whose job I wasnt a hundred
percent positive about. Luka remained serious yet courteous. He seemed to like being
involved in every aspect of the process and the production staff accommodated his questions
and requests. Despite being a perfectionist, everyone respected Luka. I admired him more
now than ever. From what Id heard about rock stars, Luka didnt seem to fit the mold when
he wasnt in front of a mic or playing the bass. Outside of performing, he acted professional
and involved.
By sunset, the crew set up for the final piece of the shoot. The director explained it to me
while Calixta took over the job of fixing my makeup. Not that there was anything to fix. I had been
good about keeping myself out of trouble while taking incredible promo shots for Yana.
Apparently, for this part of the video, I would be lying on the concrete slab while Luka
sang to me. It seemed simple enough, and since I would have my eyes closed, I could relax.
The director even complemented me on my patch, thinking it was part of the overall look. I
didnt correct him.
Since only one camera would be used, I pushed away my anxiety of having someone else
work my camera and handed it to the other cameraman who wouldnt be working. He said he
would take care of it and actually seemed impressed with my set up. His competence was
what gave me the confidence to walk away without throwing a worried parent fit at having
someone else hold my baby.
One of the grips helped me onto the slab, which was more than a meter off the ground.
Intricate symbols decorated the whole thing. It reminded me of ancient altars used for
sacrifices. Before my mind could question its presence on the Lunar Manor property, Yana
came over and adjusted the massive skirt of the dress.
I cant get over how beautiful this dress is, she said, smoothing over the feathers.
You thinking of wearing something other than the Gothic Lolita look? I teased.
She pursed her lips. For this dress, maybe.
The skirt alone probably weighs more than you.
We shared a laugh until Luka walked onto set. My throat closed as my eyes hungrily
traveled his body. He wore the kilt without the tank top now. His muscles didnt bulge the
way Demitris did, but he certainly had definition. And holy mother of God he had a bolt on
his nipple. Just how many piercings did this guy have?
Suddenly, the dress felt like an oven. But I refused to fan my face. He gave me a quick
wink before the director stared barking instructions. I thought I would finally get a chance to see his
back tattoo, but I was asked to lie down. The director weaved my fingers together and
rested my clasped hands on my belly.
The second I closed my eye, Poison began playing in the background. The whole day Luka
had lip-synched. At first I thought it was the track I was hearing, but when I felt his breath against my
face I realized he was singing live.
Shivers quaked through my body when Luka reached the chorus. Was he singing to me? I
couldnt open my eye to make sure because it would ruin the shot. As someone who knew a
thing or two about getting the perfect picture, I didnt want to be the cause of a reshoot. Plus, the
temperature dropped with the sun. I didnt want Luka to have to be half-naked longer
than he had to be.
One take, one take, one take I mentally kept repeating to myself.
A gasp almost escaped my lips when I felt Lukas callused fingers caress my cheek. I
desperately wanted to see what was happening. He traced my lips with his fingertips, the
emotion in his voice reaching into my chest and closing around my heart in a powerful grip.
Without knowing how it happened, a tear slipped out of my eye. Luka kissed it away before it
reached the slab I lay on. I sucked in a surprised breath. My eye opened to see his face
hovering over mine, a tender expression there that I couldnt understand.
Just when I thought Id ruined the shot and wed have to start over, Luka lowered his lips
to mine. His tongue swept into my mouth, and I tasted the salt of my tear.
Chapter Twenty
Clarification
I spent the next day wandering the halls of Lunar Manor in a complete daze like a crazy
person on too many meds. No one bothered me. The household was beat after the video
shoot. I enjoyed the quiet, only occasionally running into a bleary-eyed maid. Deidra was
nowhere to be found.
Hour after hour I replayed the very public, very deep kiss. In fact, the kiss was so deep, I
felt Lukas tongue ring scrape across the roof of my mouth. The worst part? Because there
had to be one. The kiss ended to applause. Applause! What were we, some sort of sideshow?
I laid on the slab unmoving while Yana wrapped a robe around Lukas steaming body. It
had gotten so cold that his body heat rose from him in mists. Without helping me up, he
walked away with his sister. He said something about replaying the video. The director yelled
thats a wrap and finally someonethe cameraman taking pictures for mehelped me off the slab.
He handed my camera over with a grin and said he hoped I liked the pictures. I
couldnt hear him properly anymore because my daze had begun.
By the second day, I refused to stay in my stupor. I uploaded the photos into my laptop
without looking at them and cleared the memory of my digicard. I told myself I would take
pictures and I had the determination to actually get it done.
After a cup of coffee and half a grapefruit, I ambled around the first floor in search of any
Vicious band member that wasnt Luka. I didnt want to see him right now. Thank God dinner
had been cancelled last night due to fatiguethe reason Yana gave me when she called my
room. I wouldnt have been able to sit at that table without screaming my frustration at Luka.
I wanted to talk to someone about what happened, make sense of things, but I never had
any close girlfriends growing up. Silvia came pretty close. Unfortunately, the breach of the
NDA to talk to her about Luka shut my mouth. I couldnt bring myself to discuss anything
with Yana or Phoenix because they seemed way too close to the subject of my current
madness.
Dejected and almost hopeless, I hadnt noticed Id strolled into an unfamiliar hallway.
Huh. More than a week in the manor and I still had places left unexplored. I could only pray I
wouldnt get lost again and waste more of my picture taking time.
At the end of the hallway was a door left ajar. Curious as to what I would findbecause
how bad could it beI eagerly stepped closer. My heart beat faster at the prospect of
discovering something new only to step into a smaller version of the library.
My enthusiasm would have deflated if not for the lead guitarist of Vicious sitting behind a
massive desk with his feet up, a book on his lap, and reading glasses perched on the straight
line of his nose. He had a shirt on, much to my relief. I couldnt take another close encounter with his
body. Distractions werent welcome today.
Before Demitri could notice me, I snapped a couple shots. The sun streaming in from the
window behind him cast beautiful shadows along the perfect plains of his face. The photo
would look good in both black and white and in color. I already had several filters in mind as tinting
options. Not many photographers could say that. But considering my subject, it didnt
surprise me at all.
Did you know Slash is one of the best six string slingers in the world? Demitri asked
without taking his eyes off the book. He can make a guitar sing. Like literally sing.
Im sorry. I shifted my weight. Am I interrupting your reading?
Demitri turned the page as if I wasnt there, but he said, This is my private study. The
place where I can get away and know no one would dare disturb me.
Despite the lack of admonishment in his tone, his words still spread guilt in my gut. I
dropped my gaze. I can leave.
Dont do that.
Okay, totally confused now, I raised my eye to catch Demitri grinning at me. He waved me
forward and pointed at the chair across from his desk. I inched closer. He kept his steady gaze on me
as I took a seat at the edge of the leather chair. The cushion crunched beneath my
weight and I winced. It sounded so loud in such a quiet room.
The silence continued for a couple more minutes. I never thought of myself as the shy
type, even with my patch. Most people would cower away. Id learned to embrace what I had.
In fact, I saw the patch as a badge of honor. But with Demitri looking at me like a principal
about to dispense a lecture for something Id done, I couldnt help squirming a bit. I tapped
my fingers on my camera.
Hows the book? I asked, trying to restart the conversation.
Demitri closed said book with a snap and showed it to me. I stared at the cover with a man
wearing sunglasses and massively curly hair beneath a top hat.
Slash? I tilted my head.
Yes. Demitri slid the book into a slot on the shelves behind him. I love reading
biographies of musicians.
I scanned the titles and indeed not a novel in sight. I recognized some of the bands
mentioned on the spines. Others I had no idea who they were. A nugget of inspiration formed
in my minds eye.
As if he could read my mind, Demitri crossed his arms and smirked. Thought of anything
for my photo shoot yet?
I scratched my cheek, feeling a bit sheepish. Actually, yeah, but itll involve the kilt you
wore the other day.
The exasperated sigh from the big guy made me laugh. I knew you couldnt resist seeing
me in that thing. Lukas a genius when it comes to attracting the attention of our audience.
The mention of his name brought back my case of nerves. I fidgeted with the strap of my camera.
And that kiss
The corner of my eyebrow twitched at the insinuation I heard in Demitris voice. Like a
damn bursting, I said, Can you help me understand him? Youre his cousin. Im sure you
grew up together or something and you know him well enough. I slumped into my seat and
massaged my left temple, a pulse beginning there. Ive never been this confused.
In an unexpected move, Demitri threw his head back and laughed. Deep and full-bodied,
the sound reverberated in my chest. I found something comforting about it. Like sharing a
moment with a big brother, only said big brother liked being half-naked most of the time.
Being an only child, I never knew how it felt to grow up with siblings. Maybe talking with
Demitri right now came close.
Shouldnt you be talking to one of the girls about this? he asked when he finally regained
some of his composure. And still chuckles bubbled out of him.
Im not good with interacting with girls. I gestured to my T-shirt and jeans. As you can
see, Im not really the girly girl type. I wouldnt know where to start. Although, I would
appreciate it if you kept this between us. I held my breath.
With a playful glint in his eyes, Demitri zipped his lips and threw away the imaginary key.
I rolled my eye and shook my head at his childishness, yet it went a long way in relaxing the
tightness that had entered my shoulders the second we began discussing Luka.
Look, Demitri said in all seriousness, Luka is a complicated creature. For as long as I
have known him no one has ever come close to figuring him out.
I let out a long breath, which seemed to shrink my body several inches. Figures thats
what youd say. I dont get him. He makes these sexual advances toward me and when I
finally offer myself to him for one night just to get the tension out of the way he turns me
down.
I didnt know what came over me sharing what had happened with the guys cousin. I
censored myself, of course, but I couldnt take it anymore. I was bursting and Demitri seemed
willing to listen.
With arms crossed over his massive chest, he nodded, his lower lip jutting out. Luka isnt
the one night stand type. But he isnt the relationship type either.
Huh?
Did I mention he was a complicated creature?
I crossed my own arms and tilted my head. Why do I get the feeling nothing about Luka
makes any sense?
Well, thats not true. Demitri swung his long legs off the desk and straightened in his
seat. Luka may be many things, but he isnt cruel. He has a sense of loyalty toward his family and
those closest to him. Tell him we have to bury a body and hell tell you where the perfect place for it
would be.
How is this supposed to help my situation?
He shrugged. Im just giving you my two cents. You were right when you said I grew up
with Luka. In all those years, Ive only seen parts of who he really is. Dont put too much
pressure on yourself by trying to understand him in thirty days. Youre here to take pictures, right? I
say dont lose track of that and leave here with awesome pictures you would be proud
to show the world. He pointed at me. Because if those pictures arent awesome, Im pretty
sure Yana will hunt you down. Remember, Luka knows where to bury a body.
No matter how serious Demitri seemedand I didnt doubt Yana would hunt me down if
the project didnt turn out rightI still chuckled. He made a good point. I wasnt at Lunar
Manor to make sense of the enigma that was Luka. I lost sight of my purpose until Demitri
pointed it out to me again. Who knew lead guitarists could dole out sage advice?
Youre right. I slapped the chairs armrest. Im not here for Luka. Im here for the whole
band. So what if he kisses like a professional?
Demitri choked then coughed. Way too much information. He waved his hand at me like
he was fanning out a flame. Not something Id like to know about my cousin, please.
A hint of mischief tickled my insides. Demitris growing embarrassment spurred me
forward. That tongue ring. Did you know about that?
The lead guitarist of Vicious turned a shade of red so bright I thought his head would
explode from all the blood rushing up there. I laughed so hard I almost fell off my seat. Oh
God, I felt so much better. So much so that I wasnt thinking when I asked, How long have
you and Phoenix been together?
The air around Demitri grew tense for a second before he breathed it away. I dont really
like talking about it.
I get that, I said by way of an apology. But know that Im not a reporter.
I know. He grinned. Its just you grow so guarded with your private life that its difficult to share
anything with anyone.
A part of me understood that too.
What happened there?
It was only when Demitris question sunk in that I realized Id reached up to touch my
patch. I really had to stop drawing attention to it. Although, how could you stop something
unconscious?
The way you dont like talking about your relationship with Phoenix is the way I dont like
talking about this. I dropped my hand.
I get it. Im sorry I asked.
I waved his apology away. Youre not the first person to ask, and I expect you wont be the
last. Im actually surprised everyone in the manor seems okay with my patch. Normally,
people stare.
Oh please. Someone walking around with an eye patch isnt the strangest thing weve had
in this house.
Somehow I believed him. So, are you busy this afternoon?
He shook his head.
I pushed up from my chair and smiled at him. Then get your kilt on and meet me back
here at sunset.
Why sunset?
I glanced at the window. If the morning light can make you look twice as gorgeous as you
already are, I can just imagine what the sunset would do.
A snort followed my words. I didnt mind since Demitri was blushing again. I liked
unsettling him.
With a grin, I said, I think its time for me to show the world the essence of Demitri
Barinkoff, lead guitarist of Vicious.
I like the sound of that.
I left Demitris study buoyant, not knowing that in a couple of hours I would get more
than what I bargained for.
Chapter Twenty-One
Passion
A couple of hours after lunch, I returned to Demitris study with a bounce in my step. I
planned on scoping out the location. A good photographer always familiarizes herself with
her surroundings before the actual shoot. I figured I could imagine where I wanted Demitri
and the different poses that could work. Id asked him to bring along his guitar. I wanted to
incorporate the instrument in the shoot.
Finally getting used to the ins and outs of the maze-like manor, I easily found my way
back to the hall that led to Demitris study. Like this morning, the door had been left ajar. The
difference from this morning was the sounds emanating from within. The grunts, moans, and
groans should have warned me off. I kept going because maybe, just maybe, it wasnt what I
thought it would be. And then I nudge the door open. Stupid decision.
There on the floor lay Demitri with Phoenix straddling him. Only a white dress shirt
pooled around her waist maintained some semblance of modesty. From their nakedness and
the way Phoenix moved her hips, Id have to be blind in both eyes and severely dumb not to
know what they were in the middle of. Having seen enough, I took a step back, sure they
hadnt noticed me yet. Until the floor creaked behind me, of course.
I froze, not knowing if I should close my eye or turn around and bolt. Considering my
depth perception challenges, I didnt trust myself not to bump into anything if I fled. Lots of expensive
breakables from Demitris study to freedom. Phoenix dropped down on Demitri,
eliciting a pained groan from the guy on his back. Both heads turned toward me before
Demitri returned his attention to Phoenix, watching her, waiting. She raked a critical gaze up and
down my body.
A roaring blush burned my neck and face. Like passing a traffic accident, I couldnt look
away. I kept mentally telling myself to do so, but my one eye wouldnt cooperate. Great. Now
they must think I was some kind of pervert who got off from watching. I counted the seconds
until Phoenix would scream and cover herself with the shirt at her waist. I also waited for the moment
when they would kick me out of the manor and deny me any chance of completing
my project.
Instead, several heart pounding moments later, Phoenix crooked a finger at me, beckoning
me further into the room. I stayed frozen in place, unsure what exactly she wanted from me. I
certainly wasnt joining in if that was what she thought.
When she pointed at my camera, I couldnt believe she would actually let me take a picture
of them in such an intimate and potentially compromising position. Based on what Demitri
had told me, they kept their relationship private. I completely understood their reason behind this. The
pictures I was about to take in the wrong hands could blow the lid right off their
private life. Many media whore celebrities gained fame by leaking intimate photos and
videos. Vicious wasnt like that. They didnt need manufactured fame.
A-a-are you sure? I whispered.
She tore her gaze from mine to look down at Demitri. He frowned up at her and she kissed
it awaydeeply. He shuddered beneath her when she added a hip rotation to her kiss. She
tugged his lower lip between her teeth before sitting up straight again. Breathing hard,
Demitri nodded his assent without opening his eyes. His self-control amazed me. Lesser guys
wouldnt have lasted after that kiss.
Phoenix locked her gaze with mine again and nodded. She didnt say a word. She didnt
have too.
Heart beating like an entire drums section of an orchestra, I lifted my camera and watched
them through my view finder. I adjusted the zoom just as Phoenix rode Demitri, first in slow
strokes. Demitri circled Phoenixs waist with his hands, guiding her into a rhythm they both
found pleasure in as indicated by their moans. I snapped a couple of shots standing up then
took a knee. I did my best to ignore the growing discomfort between my legs. You try
watching two beautiful people make love and not be turned on. God, this must have been one
of the hardest shoots Id ever participated in. Even my nude perspective class wasnt this
uncomfortable.
The second Demitri met Phoenix thrust for thrust she arched her back and ran her fingers
through her hair. They both looked glorious, sweat glistening on their flawless skin. The
sunlight caught Demitris tattoos just right, as if bringing the intricate artwork to life.
Phoenixs voice hitched in her throat when she encouraged Demitri to enter her harder. I
didnt know how much more I could take. I swallowed, never once lowering my camera
because if I did I was sure I wouldnt last much longer in their presence. Sweat beaded my
upper lip. My fingers grew damp against my camera. I needed something to anchor me in the
present, something that separated me from what was happening in front of me.
They increased their pace, their shared grunts and moans getting louder. At their climax, I
caught Phoenix arching her back, screaming a single high note toward the ceiling while
Demitri watched her shudder before he found his own release.
My stomach in tight knots, I stood up and mumbled something to Demitri like I would be
back in an hour for our shoot. I twisted around and ran out of the study. I didnt care if
Demitri heard me or not post coitus. Add my sexual frustration toward Luka with what Id
just witnessed and it was a recipe that called for a cold shower.
***
Exactly an hour later and hair still damp, I braved my way back to Demitris study. Id
uploaded the pictures of their passion into my laptop, making sure to place them in a secure
folder. No one but me, Demitri and Phoenix would have access to those shots. They had given
me their trust and I would rather die than break it. Thank God for digital because it meant I
didnt have to burn negatives after developing. I just had to make sure no one stole my
laptop.
At the door, which Demitri didnt seem to close at all, I covered my eye and patch before
stepping in. The answering throaty laughter put me at ease, but I still didnt lower my hand. I inched
inside then stopped, making sure an escape route was available if Demitri or Phoenix
were messing with me. Watching them make love once was more than enough for me.
Is it safe to open my eye now? I asked, not really joking.
Something slapped wood, which I assumed was Demitris hand or a book. The laughter
continued, much louder now. Chest deep and rumbling. Still, I didnt lower my hand.
Its safe. Demitri chuckled. Its safe.
Slowly, I lowered my hand. Then I squinted my eye open, ready to shut it again. I scanned
the room and exhaled in relief. The room looked as it did this morning. No evidence left
behind of what Id stumbled in on.
I should have left when I had a chance, I said. Im sorry for intruding.
With a cheeky grin, Demitri waved my apology away. If Phoenix didnt want it to happen,
you wouldnt be here right now.
Just as I thought. My discovery could have gone all wrong. I gulped at the reality of it.
At first I thought she wanted me to join you. I hid my discomfort and played down my
blush with a laugh.
Demitris eyebrows came up. Would have been possible. Although, Phoenix is not known
to be the sharing type. He stood up from where he sat behind the desk. The kilt from the
video shoot rode low on his hips, the shirt he wore not long enough to cover the happy trail
that led to Phoenixs wonderland. So, where do you want me? He reached behind him and
pulled off his shirt. I gawked like an idiot for a total of five seconds, letting my gaze rake down the
expanse of muscle. When the rumbling of Demitris chuckle snapped me out of my
daze, I went into professional mode.
For the first few shots, I had him sitting on a reading chair with his boot-encased feet on
his desk, crossed at the ankles. Then I asked him to strum his electric guitar in the same
position. I exchanged the guitar for the Slash autobiography.
I scanned through the gallery of pictures so far and frowned.
Whats up? Demitri leaned back against his desk, arms crossed.
Somethings not working. I bit down on my lower lip, my brow wrinkling.
Do you want me to remove the kilt?
Not helping.
Demitri barked a laugh. Maybe youre over thinking things?
The second his words sunk in, an idea clicked in my head. I whipped my head up and
looked beyond Demitri to the shelves of biographies.
Put on your reading glasses, I said, rounding the desk and proceeding to pull out the
titles. Without questioning me, Demitri complied. Okay, sit in that chair. I pointed
absentmindedly at the oxblood leather reading chair located at one side of the room. And
take your guitar with you.
Youre sexy when youre bossy.
Dont flirt with me right now. I went to the chair Demitri deposited himself in and rained
books around him.
Hey! He moved to pick up the books.
I pushed his hands away. I promise to replace anything I break.
You better, he grumbled. The pained look on his face every time I dropped a hardbound
on the floor amused me. Some books I strategically posed at his feet. Others I kept closed at
the sides of the chair.
Running out of books, I returned to the shelves and pulled out more. Soon Demitri sat in
the middle of a mound of books artfully positioned around him. Taking his guitar, I asked
him to spread his legs, not paying attention to the lewd quip he lobbed my way. I stood the
guitar between his legs with its strings facing forward. I asked him to rest his hands over the head
stock like a knight would on the pommel of a blade.
Hands on my hips, I glanced around the room. Something was still missing until I noticed
the navy throw on one of the other chairs. Folding it into a make shift sash, I draped the
fabric over one of Demitris shoulders to cross over his chest and rest at his hip.
The only thing missing is a crown, Demitri teased when I pulled his hair out of its tie at
the back of his neck and divided the silky locks over each shoulder.
Do you have one? I asked in all seriousness, checking the part in his hair.
Without saying a word, he tilted his head toward a small cabinet on the other side of the
room. I stared at him in disbelief for a second before he grinned. Thinking he was kidding, I
marched to the cabinet and opened it. Inside, sitting on a velvet cushion, was indeed a crown.
Or should I say a circlet with four crosses sticking out at each point. Gold with intricate runes carved
on the surface. No jewels, thank God.
Why the hell do you have a crown? I glanced at him over my shoulder.
He shrugged. Its actually my fathers. Im just keeping an eye on it for him.
Oookay. I huffed. Why does your father have a crown? Is he royalty or something?
Demitri choked on a laugh. Dont be ridiculous. Now, if you want to use that thing, hurry
up. Im itching to return all my precious books youve mistreated back to their proper places.
Its gonna take me all night to rearrange them using my system.
Alphabetical? I teased, picking up the crown with my palms on each side. Something
akin to static shock caused me to drop it again onto the cushion. I managed to hold in the
yelp of surprise. My boots dragging on the carpet all afternoon must have caused the charge. I shook
my hands and tried again. This time the crown came willingly.
Genre.
Interesting. I padded back to Demitri and placed the crown askew on his head. Stepping
back, I looked at him and nodded once. Perfect. I picked up my camera off my chest. Now,
think youre the king of rock and no one else is better at six-string slinging than you.
Half of Demitris face crumpled. I feel ridiculous.
Rolling my eye at him, I said, This from a guy who was willing to have me take pictures of
him and his girlfriend while in flagrante delicto.
This relaxed him a bit, but still he said, Theres someone better than I am at the guitar.
I took a couple of test shots, liking what I was seeing in the digi screen, when I asked,
Who?
Luka.
My heart sped up at the mere mention of his name. Of course he is.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Visitor
I had so much fun during the latter part of Demitris shoot that I finally drummed up the
courage to look through the pictures from the video shoot. Demitri reminded me to stay
focused, do what I came here to do. That included staring at pictures of me and Luka kissing.
The cameraman knew his stuff. The pictures were in focus. The proportions were even. He
also took some crazy shots where the camera was tilted at an angle. I couldnt deny how
professional the pictures came out. In fact, a part of me envied how good he was. Well, I
guess if you stared through a lens all day every day you really got a sense of what looked good as still
shots. If I had a phone, I would call that camera guy and have him explain how he
achieved some of the photographs. They were freakin gallery readyno retouching needed.
Damn. I had so much to learn.
Feeling inadequate, I stared at this one picture where Lukas lips were on mine and the
cameraman captured the exact moment when I gasped. So my eyes were half open when
Lukas lips landed. His body was tilted inward and I got a good view of half his back. His
tattoo covered the entire surface. It was massive if I could only see a wing from the angle
where he had his body over mine. He had one hand on my face and the other, the one facing
where I assumed the video camera was, clutched the side of the slab I stretched out on. A
mysterious mist I hadnt noticed on the day of the shoot curled around the slab, adding a
fairytale feel to the photo. I resembled a statue on a sarcophagus that Luka was kissing to life.
I squinted at the screen, trying my best to make out the tattoo. From what I could tell, it
was all black. From the side of his back I could see, the design stretched all the way to his
ribcage. The wing on the side tilted toward me was obvious, but below it looked like some
kind of vine design. They were interlocking withthorns? Shoving my nose at the screen
didnt help, and no matter how much I blew up the picture the design looked so intricate I
couldnt begin to imagine what it made up unless I saw the whole thing.
So focused on playing Guess That Tattoo, I didnt hear the knocking right away. Rubbing
the strain out of my eye, I said, Coming!
The knocking stopped. So not Yana or Calixta because having experienced being on the
other side of a door from them, I knew they wouldnt have stopped knocking until I actually
pulled the door from their fists.
I took a second to stretch before standing up and pushing my chair to the side. My gaze
landed on the coffee pot and made a mental note to call the kitchen for a refill. I itched for another
work-filled night. Less sleep meant less chances of dreaming. I shuddered. Not
dreams. Nightmares. Worse now more than ever.
Padding to the door, I scratched the back of my head before turning the knob. Outside
stood Phoenix in a sweater and sweats combo. Casual, but still all in black. And without
makeup. Dang. She still looked way too good all natural. Then the imaged of her arched back,
breasts in the air brought a blush to my cheeks. I dropped my gaze immediately. I couldnt
look her straight in the eye anymore after that.
Hey, I mumbled.
Hey, she answered back. The uncertainty in her tone mirrored mine.
Uhm Okay, I had run out of things to say. Of all the band members, Phoenix was the
one I hadnt really interacted with. That needed changing since I had her next on my list for a photo
shoot.
Thankfully, she filled in the increasingly awkward air between us. Are you busy?
I was just taking a look at the pictures from the video shoot. I hiked a thumb over my
shoulder.
Arent you going to look at me when you speak?
Guilt crumpled my gut. Look, I know Im being rude, but youve got to understand, Ive
seen you and Demitri in a position no one has the right to see. That was a private moment
and I should have turned and left instead of staying and taking your picture.
Can we talk about this inside?
The hiss in her voice reminded me of my manners. I stepped aside and let her in. Her flip
flops slapped against the underside of her feet when she padded her way to the living room.
I was just about to order a fresh pot of coffee. Do you want some? I asked when I
followed her in. I really needed to get a grip. So what if Id seen her naked? We shared the
same girly bits. Plus, Id seen far worse things than two beautiful people expressing their love for one
another.
Without replying to my question, Phoenix went to the desk where my laptop sat open and
picked up the phone. She dialed for the kitchen, waited a second, then ordered tea and a plate of mini
sandwiches.
I hope you dont mind, she said to me after ending the call. I dont drink coffee.
I shook my head, finally able to lift my gaze to her chin. I called that progress. I probably shouldnt
buzz up again anyway.
Phoenix leaned over my laptop where Id zoomed in on the picture of me and Luka kissing.
With the high pixel rate of my camera, no blurring of the image occurred. This is
breathtaking.
The camera guy did a pretty good job. I heard the envy and bitterness in my voice and
adjusted my tone. Ive been trying to figure out what Lukas tattoo is. Have you seen it?
Such a long pause followed my question that I didnt think Phoenix would answer me until
she straightened away from my laptop screen. She sighedsuch a sad sound, so full of regret.
I didnt understand where it came from.
Luka chooses the people he shows that tattoo too. She traced the wing with her fingertip.
It wouldnt be right for me to tell you.
God, did all of the band members have secrets? My eyebrows rose so high, I felt the scar
behind my patch stretch a little. Ive got to hand it to them. They were loyal to a fault when it came to
protecting each others privacy. A realization struck me then. You only found out
anything about the band if they chose to clue you in. I respected them more for that. Their
bond went beyond familial ties.
Alright. Appreciating the break from my work, I plopped onto one of the couches and
rolled my neck until I felt vertebrae pop back into place. Ah, love that feeling. So, to what do I owe
this visit? Might as well get to the point, right?
Giving the picture one last look, Phoenix smiled before she took a seat on the couch
opposite from mine. The coffee table stood between us. She pulled her legs beneath her and
hugged one of the fluffy throw pillows. She looked so young in that pose.
She huffed, deflating a little in front of me. I wanted to apologize for my brazenness this
afternoon.
Yet another surprise that caused my eyebrows to lift.
I guess I was just tired of keeping Demitri and me a secret. When I saw you standing
there with your camera, I stopped thinking of the consequences and asked you to take a
picture of us during a moment that couldnt deny we were together.
And the plot thickened. When I spoke to Demitri this morning, he seemed content in
keeping his relationship with Phoenix on the down low. Yet, they didnt seem to get how
obvious they were being around each other.
I think you two suck at hiding a relationship. I shook my head, a smile creeping up my
face. If I see it, Im pretty sure your fans have seen and continue to see it.
The prettiest blush covered Phoenixs cheeks. She covered the lower half of her face with
the pillow, her nose sticking out over the top. I told him we were being too obvious.
I dont know why you have to hide it. Youre obviously in love with one another. Wouldnt
your fans be happy for you?
Its not that simple.
Im starting to get that nothing about Vicious is simple.
My comment brought out a giggle from Phoenix. If I didnt know she was my age, I would
think her so much younger. Probably even younger than Yana from the way she acted right
now. On stage she exuded the sexy sirena total contradiction from the woman across from
me right now.
A soft knock interrupted the question I opened my mouth to ask. I moved to stand when
Phoenix waved me down.
Ill get it. She hurried to the door and peeked out.
After exchanging a few hushed words with someone on the other side, Phoenix returned
with a dainty tea service. She poured some of the steaming amber liquid into flower trimmed
teacups while I picked up a tiny cucumber sandwich from the three-tiered serving plate.
Do you take milk with your tea? she asked, comfortable in the role of host.
I glanced at the selection and said, Some lemon and honey would do. What kind of tea is
it? It smells floral.
Its actually a blend of Moroccan mint and jasmine. She squeezed a lemon slice onto
mine and added a dollop of honey.
I inhaled deeply, enjoying the floral minty scent. Phoenix handed over my cup then mixed
a cube of sugar into hers. She settled back into her sofa and leaned her elbows on the throw
pillow while she took a sip.
Im not really a tea drinker, but this is really good, I said, drawing a shy smile from
Phoenix. And I can assure you no one will see those photos besides me. I can even show
them to you and delete them if you want. It had to be said.
Only then did Phoenix completely relax around me. Keep them. It makes me happy to
know that someone has a moment between me and Demitri.
I have to admit that it was beautiful taking pictures of you two. It isnt every day that you get to see
such passion between two people. You seem meant for each other. Again with the
envy in my voice. I may be comfortable being single, but I got lonely too sometimes.
You think so?
You dont?
A flicker of doubt danced along Phoenixs features before it was replaced by a fond smile.
I guess we are. She took a sandwich for herself. I heard from Demitri about your shoot. Im
surprised you didnt talk about it at dinner.
Grateful for the change in topic, I scratched my cheek. I think Demitri is still feeling
chagrined about it.
He said you dressed him up like a king. Phoenix giggled and wiggled her eyebrows at me.
I so want to see those pictures.
Its not as silly as he thinks. I got some superb shots when he wasnt scowling at me.
Dont you just love teasing him?
Yeah. I really did. He can come off as this mischievous guy, but when you turn the
tables on him he cant take it.
Phoenix laughed whole-heartedly now. Oh, hes always been that way. It gets so much
worse when Luka teases him. Demitri can get uptight sometimes.
Luka? Teasing? I pursed my lips at that. The two words didnt seem mutually exclusive
to me. I cant imagine it.
The mood in the room shifted abruptly. Phoenix seemed to shrink into herself. I leaned
forward, finally able to look her in the face. Her lower lip trembled slightly, as if she was
about to burst into tears, but her eyes remained dry. A distant look entered those brown
depths, and I cursed myself for not having my camera handy. If I moved the moment would
disappear.
Luka didnt used to be so serious, she said so softly I almost didnt hear her. When hes
writing, he retreats into himself. Its really hard to reach him when hes like that. Like hes in his own
world and nothing else matters. It can get scary sometimes.
Is that why I dont see him around? I pressed for information. If Phoenix wanted to chat,
Id take advantage of the situation.
She nodded, using the throw pillow as some kind of shield. Hes been editing the video
from the other day. Yana wants to launch it when we start our tour again at the beginning of
next year. But mostly hes been writing, yeah.
The hurt on Phoenixs face baffled me.
But, she continued and I held my breath. He seems better now.
Better how? I forced myself to ask around the sudden lump in my throat.
She pierced me with a level stare. Something in him changed ever since that night at
Sacrifice. Ever since he met you.
Her words rang in my ears. They were eerily similar to what Yana had told me in the
recording studio. I couldnt bring myself to believe them. My interactions with Luka were
limited. I hardly saw him. So I had no idea what changes they were talking about. Since theyd
worked with Luka for years, they should know right?
I felt the air around me closing in. My chest inflated and deflated, but it didnt seem like I breathed in
enough of the mint-jasmine-scented air. Aching for a subject change for the sake
of maintaining my sanity, I brought up the subject Id been meaning to ask Yana about when
I got her alone.
Do you think I could go into the city sometime within this week?
Like my question snapped her out of a funk, Phoenix brightened up. A shopping trip?
Hearing the word shopping brought goose bumps to my skin. Hell no!
Phoenix jutted her lower lip out at me. Boo! Then what do you want to go into the city
for?
I wanted to pay my favorite framer a visit. The holidays were fast approaching and I had a
gift idea for each of the band members. When it became clear Phoenix was waiting for my
reply, I filled her in without spilling the surprise.
Oh, well, that can be arranged. Take the helicopter, she said. Itll be quicker.
The what?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Daytrip
By midmorning the next day, Phoenix made good on her promise to take care of
everything I needed for my daytrip into the city. Yana called while I was having my breakfast saying
the helicopter was good to go and that Eli would be coming with me. I wanted to
argue, but from the tone of her voice she made it seem like I was lucky to even get this
chance to leave the manor grounds. She reiterated that I wasnt a prisoner in any way when I
made a joke about it. A part of me suspected she wasnt kidding.
At the perfunctory knock at my door, I swallowed the last dregs of my coffee, shrugged on
my coat, and pocketed the USB containing my holiday gifts for the Vicious band members.
Camera dangling from my neck, I opened the door to a somber Eli. I hadnt seen him for close
to two weeks, but I got the feeling he missed me from the way his lips twitched.
Hey, Eli, I greeted with a smile.
Miss Dakota. He nodded. The chopper is waiting on the grounds. Please follow me.
I motioned for him to lead the way. He entered my room instead. Confused, I whirled
around and followed him to the terrace doors. He pushed them open and a gust of wind
ruffled our clothes. I lifted my arm to shield my eye. My hair flopped at the sides of my head.
When Eli said the grounds, I didnt think the helicopter would be right outside my room.
Man, sometimes I forgot just how rich the people I lived with were.
Eli grabbed my arm and escorted me to the waiting transport that would take me into the
city. The sleek machine gleamed in the sun. It resembled a giant dragonfly. We didnt speak.
Not like we could above the whirring blades above us. Eli ducked and so did I. He stood a foot taller
than me, so if the chopper were to decapitate someone it would be the somber
bodyguard. Still, I didnt want to risk a close shave. Id been on planes, but never a chopper.
My stomach flipped. How bad could it be?
Opening the door, Eli lifted me in. Thanking him, I scooted to the farthest leather seat.
The pilot fiddled with the controls and spoke into a small microphone attached to his
headset. Something about a Charlie Niner and a flight plan and an ETA. Eli pointed at the
headset beside my seat and motioned for me to buckle in. Without protest, I did as
instructed, way too excited about my first ever helicopter ride. My belly thrummed with the
vibrations of the machine.
Once settled in, I readied my camera. Id wanted to take aerial shots of the manor since my
arrival. A huge grin stretched my lips until my cheeks hurt. My first ever aerial shoot. Tingles raced
from my fingertips up my arms.
Do you want us to circle the property? Elis voice sounded crisp and clear in the
headphones snug against my ears.
Is that possible? I blinked at him, my heart performing cartwheels in my chest.
Eli gave the order to the pilot and in seconds we were off the ground. My stomach
plummeted, causing giggles to bubble out of me. Duh, of course what I wanted was possible.
What if I asked the pilot to perform loop de loops? The breakfast currently digesting inside
me pushed the thought aside. Better not request anything crazyno matter how tempting.
Its like being on a roller coaster, I said.
Infinitely cooler. Eli wiggled his eyebrows at me. Yup, he missed me. I couldnt help but
laugh at his antics. When we were with Luka, Eli acted nothing short of professional. Around
me he seemed more comfortable. This made me really giddy. I didnt want to be treated
special just because of what I represented for the band. Okay, they were lending me a
helicopter to go into the city. Insert obvious favoritism here. I wondered briefly if Luka had anything
to do with this. Phoenix said he was busy editing the video, so maybe not. A girl
could dream, right?
When we reached a certain altitude, the helicopter leveled off and I aimed my camera
down. The higher we got the more I got to see of the property. We went from little picture to
big in seconds. With every picture I snapped, my jaw dropped lower until I felt the joint pop.
Lunar Manor is on a freakin island? I asked, unable to stop myself.
Yes, and its connected to the mainland by a manmade land bridge, Eli explained. He
pointed out his window and I leaned across his lap to get a better look. Sure enough, a long
gravel path stretched from the island to the rolling hills I never saw because I slept the whole time we
drove to Lunar Manor. Scratch rich. Luka and his family were in a class of their own.
The pilot circled the property as promised, which gave me the perfect view of the hedge
maze, a manmade lake with a gazebo I made a mental note to visit, and the sheer scale of the
manor itself. If I thought it looked huge from the ground, up in the air it stretched out like a leviathan
surrounded by a sea of green. I couldnt press on my shutter release fast enough.
Are we good?
I gave Eli a thumbs up and leaned back in my seat, closing my eye to ease some of the
motion sickness taking pictures in midair caused. I breathed in through my nose and out
through my mouth.
Do you need an airsickness bag?
Shaking my head no, I swallowed. I just need a minute.
If you need it we have a couple here. Generally we have them for Master Luka.
That tidbit erased all my nausea in an instant. Luka gets airsick?
Eli grinned. He hates flying.
Is that why we took the car instead of the chopper the first time around?
If he doesnt have to fly he avoids it like the plague.
I made sure to tease Luka about flying when I saw him again as the chopper zoomed over
the bay. Sunlight bounced off the water, giving the vivid blue golden highlights. In the
horizon stretched the magnificent Crescent City cityscape. The skyscrapers gleamed like a
shining mirage. I took one more picture before I closed my eye for a catnap. Eli said we would arrive
in thirty minutes.
***
The helicopter deposited us at the top of a tall building. Eli put his game face on when he
escorted me into an elevator that took us to the ground floor. A black SUV idled outside the
building. Eli opened the door for me then positioned himself in the passenger seat in front.
This is Andrew. He pointed at the bald guy in a similar black suit sitting at the wheel. It
seemed, like the servants, all the bodyguards employed by the band sported the same look.
This bordered on creepy, but who was I to judge? Hell be driving us around today.
Youre not driving? I almost felt disappointed.
I only drive for Master Luka.
Interesting. Why was it I learned more about the band outside of the members proximity
than when speaking with each of the members individually? I rolled my eye at that and gave
Andrew the name of the framer and the address. The SUV pulled into traffic without a word
said from our driver. Andrew took his job very seriously.
Just one place today? Eli inquired when we stopped at a light.
I scratched my head. Yeah. Im not someone who enjoys shopping. The relief in the air
from the two bodyguards tickled a smile out of me. We just might have to pass at a craft
store for some wrapping paper.
Roger that.
Not half an hour later, I walked into Eddys while Eli waited in the car with Andrew. An
electronic chime announced my entrance the second the door cut the invisible beam. I loved
Eddys for two reasons. One, it had a developing kiosk. And two, they had the most beautiful
readymade frames. Considering the season, I figured they would be swamped with orders for
custom jobs.
Long time no see, the owner said from behind the counter. He flipped his long dreads
over a shoulder. Another reason why I loved the store. Eddy had a Bob Marley vibe to him.
Cool, unaffected.
Hey, Eddy. I waved then pointed at the developing kiosk.
What size photo paper do you need?
Can I get a dozen glossy eight by fives?
Eddy counted out the sheets and rounded the counter so he could hand them to me. I
plugged in the USB but didnt open the folder.
Thanks, I said, loading the sheets into the printer portion of the kiosk.
I assume you need frames for those?
I nodded, still not moving to open the folder in front of Eddy. Taking the hint, he shrugged
and said, Youre in luck. We just got a shipment of new frames yesterday. Ill go into the
back for them.
Relieved to be left alone, I quickly pressed print on all the pictures Id brought with me.
Only the recipients of the pictures were allowed to see them. Each picture represented a
personal moment in the life of the subject, and no one else had a right to see them unless the subject
allowed it.
Done printing, I shoved the photos in a folder then in my bag. I detached the USB and
returned the four sheets of photo paper I didnt use to Eddy. He pointed at the box of frames
he set in the corner for me.
You get first dibs.
Youre awesome. I knelt by the box and flipped through the different frames. I knew
what I wanted for each person Id be giving a photo to. Eddys always had a wide variety of
styles to choose from. I picked out a couple moderns and a few classics. A mix of wood and
metal.
So, not telling me what the pictures are? Eddy needled. You know how much I love
seeing your work.
Not this time. I winked at him over my shoulder. These are extra special.
Now I want to see them more.
Pretending I didnt hear the begging in Eddys tone, I stacked the frames Id chosen and
brought them to the counter. Eli burst into the store just as Eddy was ringing up my
purchase. The bodyguard stomped to my side, his face a blank slate.
We need to go, he whispered.
Huh? I turned to him in the middle of pulling out my wallet. Why?
Do I look like I question orders?
Ooo-kaywhat crawled up your butt? I fished out a couple hundred bucks and slid them
toward Eddy, who did his best not to listen in on my conversation with the hulking figure
beside me.
When Eli sighed, his whole body seemed to sag. Miss Visraya called. She seemed very
agitated over the phone when she asked that I bring you back to the manor immediately.
A tight band wrapped around my chest. Did she tell you why?
No. He shook his head as if the word wasnt enough. And before you ask me, no, its not
in my job description to ask for details.
I smirked at that.
Eddy placed the frames into two paper bags and handed them to me. Elis beefy hands beat
me to them. He pulled the bags from the counter and held them at his side like they weighed
nothing. I thought about my options. Yana wouldnt have called if something wasnt up. How
it connected to me, I had no clue. She wouldnt have let me go if she thought I wouldnt come
back, so why the urgency? Eli made it sound like someone died or something. Besides
keeping my mouth shut about anything I discovered at the manor, I assumed I was free to
come and go as I pleased. But since I didnt know when I would get a chance to go into the
city again, I wanted to make the best of my trip.
Look, I dont want to get you into trouble or anything, but since whatever is happening
back at the manor is already happening, a few minutes to buy wrapping paper wont matter. I
adjusted my bag strap over my shoulder. Ill tell Yana we ran into traffic.
Your funeral.
I swallowed. Make sure to send a nice flower arrangement, will you?
Nodding solemnly, Eli stepped aside and allowed me to lead the way toward the SUV. As I
climbed in, I refused to speculate about what caused Yana to have me returned ASAP. I still
had a little over two weeks there. Surely whatever it was could wait until I was good and
ready to come back.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Panic
Chaos. The state of utter confusion and disorder. Basically, a total lack of organization. As
in what the hells going on?
Eli deposited me and all my purchases in my room before hurrying away to check on what
had been happening while we were gone. I immediately followed after him and found myself
standing at the top of the stairs afraid to dive into the foray that had become of the main
floor.
Maids ran around like chicken with their heads cut off, carrying broken shards ofwas
that a vase? And legs of a chair? I left a calm manor and returned to complete and utter
chaos. It seemed the appropriate word to describe the scene playing out in front of me. When
Deidra passed my line of sight, carrying a golden gilt frame with a slashed painting inside, my jaw
dropped. That thing must have cost a fortune.
What the hell happened here? I whispered to myself.
There you are!
I jumped at Yanas hiss. Lips inside my mouth, I slowly turned to face her. From the
boiling anger in her eyes, I regretted standing so close to the banister. One little push and
someone would have to be picking up broken pieces of me from the ground floor too.
Whats up? I prided myself in being a fairly confident person, especially when faced with
someone several inches lacking in height. But from the way Yanas eyebrows came together,
youd think Id caused the devastation the maids seemed to be clearing away.
A loud crash interrupted whatever was supposed to come out of Yanas mouth. I flinched.
Something definitely broke. Faster than I expected her to move in platform shoes, Yana
grabbed my arm none too gently and yanked me back up the stairs. I went along, still too
shocked by the explosion of sound that came from somewhere on the first floor.
At first I thought she would bring me back to my room. Instead we stopped at the circular
atrium with the glass roof. The setting sun shot rays of orange light down on us. Eli and I had taken
longer than I thought getting back. My excuse of running into traffic turned out to be a prediction. A
multi-car collision jammed the road a couple of blocks from the building where
the helicopter waited. Only when Id decided to hoof it did we get moving again. Poor Eli. He
had to carry all those frames. Hed been sweating by the time we were in the elevator headed
for the top floor.
Yana released my arm and began pacing. I reached up and rubbed where her fingers had
dug in, pretty sure I would sport marks come morning. She was shaking. Like literally
vibrating with pent up frustration. And panic?
We cant get to him, she mumbled, waving her hands in the air. None of us could. Not
Demitri or Dray. Not even me. Hell, he threw Phoenix out. He never throws Phoenix out.
I tilted my head. Who? Okay, stupid question since I had an idea, but I couldnt be too
sure.
Who else? Yanas eyes widened at me. Luka! Hes completely destroyed the music
room.
Okay, youve lost me. Why would he do that?
Lukas in a very fragile state right now. When hes writing, hes extra sensitive. Anything
could set him off. Yana slapped the sides of her thighs. Her continued pacing was making me
dizzy. The orange and black swirls in her dress didnt help. She looked like a demented
Halloween doll. I told him having you here was a bad idea. I begged him to forget you and
just continue composing songs for the new album. But did he listen to me? Of course not.
Whoa! I raised both my hands as if shed aimed a gun at me. She might as well have
from the rapid fire sentences coming out of her. Howd this become about me? I thought
you were the one who had to sign off for all this to happen.
Oh wake up, Dakota! She finally stopped, clamping her long-nailed hands on her hips.
Havent you figured it out yet? I may manage the band but Luka runs the show. You
wouldnt be here if he didnt want you to.
Her words shouldnt have taken me aback as much as they did. All the days Id been
observing Luka, from the recording studio to the video shot, no one seemed to move without
his consent. Everyone, even the director of the video, deferred to him. At first, I did believe Yana ran
the show. Now it merely seemed like she acted as a mouthpiece for Lukas orders.
The reality of it hit me like a cold gust of wind, lifting goose bumps all over my skin.
When Phoenix asked me if you could head into the city, I didnt think anything wrong
with it, Yana continued.
You mean all that broken furniture down there is because I went into the city? I pointed
in the direction of the main floor.
The invulnerable Gothic Lolita looked really tired for the first time since wed met. She
sighed and her shoulders slumped forward. The grip on her hips tightened. Her frown
brought out deep lines at the sides of her mouth. She seemed to have aged a decade in front
of me.
When he found out youd left, he locked himself in the music room. She shook her head.
At first we thought he would just sulk, maybe write an emotional song. Its happened before.
But when the crashes started, Demitri had to break down the door. I think the only thing left
intact in the music room is the grand piano.
This is ridiculous. I felt the words as much as said them. This had got to stop. Suddenly,
all my frustration with Luka building since Id arrived in Lunar Manor burst out of me. Is he still in
the music room?
Are you actually thinking of going in there? Yanas eyes went from tired to fearful. I may
have seen her well up, but she blinked too fast for me to be sure.
Oh, we are so settling this right now. I pointed at the ground. Luka is acting like a child, and I
intend on telling him that.
I walked away from a shocked Yana and stomped toward the music room on the first floor.
With each step I took closer to Luka, my anger built. I weaved between frantic maids. If I was going
to stay two more weeks in his house, we had to get something straight. I was done with
the teasing. And I definitely wouldnt stand for childish tantrums just because I decided to
spend a few hours in the city.
When I turned into the hallway that led toward the music room, sad piano notes reached
my ears. I recognized the melody as Beethovens Moonlight Sonata. I was never a classical
music fan, but I knew this particular tune because my mother owned a jewelry box that
played it every time the lid was lifted. My mother told me Beethoven composed the
Moonlight Sonata because of his love for a countess he could never marry. That because he
was deaf, he never saw himself as a fit husband for anyone. So, instead, he put all his feelings into his
music. And since they couldnt be together, the countess entered a convent. I
remembered feeling so sad after hearing that story, but I never tired of having my mom tell it over and
over again.
The melancholy notes often played me to sleep at night as a young girl. Now, the notes
came from a rock star that everybody seemed to be afraid of in one form or another. I slowed
my approach, letting a couple more maids pass by me, carrying the remains of a decorative
plate from what I could make out of the shards in their hands.
Shaking my head, I approached the music room and stopped at the broken door. It barely
held on to its hinges; a clear footprint where the lock used to be. I pursed my lips. Demitri
must be one strong dude to kick down a door so thick. His muscles werent just for show.
Swallowing down some of my anger, I peeked into the room. Yana hadnt been kidding
about the mess Lukas tantrum had created. Only the couch and large pieces of furniture
remained. Broken glass on the floor made me weary of stepping in. The steel-toed boots I
chose to wear today would protect my feet, but it didnt mean I wouldnt slip and fall if I
wasnt careful.
Luka sat behind the piano, eyes closed. I imagined his fingers flying along the white and
black keys, enticing out one of Beethovens saddest melodies. His usually lush lips were
drawn into a tight line. A knot had formed where his eyebrows pushed hard against each
other. His hair fell into a mess of blond curls, a few strands tumbling down his wrinkled
forehead. He seemed paler for some reason, and slightly thinner. Hed been eating at dinner
so why he was losing weight baffled me. Could it be he only ate at that particular meal a day?
I knew the euphoria that came with creating something. I often forgot to eat when I was
completing a project. The only difference now had been Deidra. She often brought something
to nibble on while I huddled in front of my laptop. Did someone bring something for Luka?
Seeing him in such a state deflated the rest of my anger. I picked my way from the door to
the piano. My boot crushed against a piece of broken pottery, but Luka didnt look up from
the piano. He just kept playing. I stopped at the farthest end of the massive instrument. It no longer
surprised me that Luka knew how to play the thing. For a second, I closed my eye and
let the melody wash over me. I pretended I lay in my mothers bed again, listening to her tell me about
Beethovens tragic love story.
You left.
Lukas voice drifted into my ears like the sonata his fingers coaxed out of the piano. I
opened my eye and met his intensely blue gaze, fire in them. I hadnt seen him since the
shoot, and it dawned on me, every time I saw him it felt like I was seeing him for the first
time.
Just for a couple of hours, I said, not allowing how good he looked in a dark sweater and
ripped jeans affect me.
You left, he repeated.
I had something to take care off in the city.
But you left.
Okay, weve established that I left. Im back. My anger rose as heat climbed my neck to
my face. You didnt have to throw a fit just because no one told you I would be gone for a
couple of hours.
The music stopped. The room suddenly grew very quiet. I stared Luka in the eye,
unflinching in his scrutiny.
You have a contract
Nowhere in the contract states that I had to be in the manor constantly for thirty days, I
interrupted the crazy I knew was about to leave his lips. He sat there shocked, like no one had ever
spoken to him insubordinately before. Well, good. Let me be the first. I left because
Christmas is next week. I dont know if you celebrate that holiday, but at our house its
customary to give gifts.
Lukas demeanor softened. You bought me a gift?
I crossed my arms and looked away from him. I got one for everyone.
You bought me a gift.
Its nothing special. I just wanted to put something together to thank everyone for being
so nice to me and for making my stay here a comfortable one.
What did you get me? Luka pushed off the piano and padded my way. Barefoot, he didnt
seem to care about the shards of glass littering the floor. He reached out and I danced away
from his touch.
Oh, dont give me those puppy dog eyes, mister. I poked him in the chest. Youll find out
on Christmas day like everyone else.
I cant last that long. Please tell me.
I exaggerated the shake of my head and gestured at the room. What do you have to say
about yourself and this room?
He dropped his gaze like a chastised little boy. You left.
A long, drawn out sigh exited my lungs. I did, but Im back. You didnt have to trash this
beautiful room because of it.
Gives Yana a reason to redecorate, he mumbled.
In that moment, Luka too me seemed like a puppy that had been smacked with a rolled up
newspaper for peeing on the carpet. Unsure why, I bridged the gap between us and took him
into my arms. Call me a softy. I could care less. The gasp that tickled my neck when I hugged
him told me he hadnt expected it either.
You really have to think about what youre doing before you do it. I tsked, stroking the
back of his head.
Lukas shock wore off in the form of grabbing fistfuls of the back of my shirt. He pulled
me closer until I felt crushed against him. I didnt mind the constriction it caused on my
lungs. He breathed me in, causing my heart to skip. I held on. Not knowing if he needed it
more than I did. The line between us was never really clearly defined. What were we? Not
friends. Not lovers. Not even subject and photographeryet.
Im only here for two more weeks, you know that right? I squeaked out. You cant go
around destroying things when my contract is up.
With his forehead resting on my shoulder, I felt him shake his head instead of saw it. The
bolt on his eyebrow dug into my skin. Its cold metal made me shiver. Still, I stayed in his
arms. I dont want to think about that day.
I didnt want to either, but it was the truth. Once my contract was up, I was going back to
the real world, taking the secrets of Lunar Manor with me. But, for now, I let Lukas words
erase the looming reality between us. At some point, I couldnt tell anymore who held whom.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Broken
This had to be the worst part of the dreams.
I lie on the ground thrashing. His weight keeps me down. Sometimes, the knife goes in.
Like being punched. Sometimes, it grazes my skin or bone. I feel it going in. Cold then wet
then piercing hot. I scream and scream, helpless. Were too far out for anyone to hear. Why
did I think running into the woods was a good idea?
My struggles wane. I cant feel my legs anymore. The bottom half of my dress is soaked
and clings to my body. He breathes hard on me, and I wince at the rise of chill bumps all over.
His rancid breath coats my skin and makes me feel dirtyused. Slowly, like the blood seeping
out of me, I lose my will to fight. My arms drop to my sides. Im too tired. So tired.
When my head lolls to the side, he cups my chin and brings me back to face him again. In
the darkness, I can barely make out his features. Then a drop of something thick falls into my eye. It
stings. New tears fallmy eyes attempt at washing away the blood. I see red, so it
must be blood.
As if he isnt done with me yet, he positions the knifepoint right above my face.
Covered in cold sweat, I pushed off the bed. I scanned the darkness, taking in the room. A
minute passed before I remembered where I was. My lungs didnt feel right inside my chest.
They inflated and deflated, but it didnt seem like I got enough air, like something choked me inside.
The erratic beats of my heart pushed me to stumble out of the room.
Running my fingers through my damp hair, I looked around the living room. Id forgotten
to turn off the lights when I went to bed. I shouldnt have closed my eye. I should have kept
working. Now, in such a big space, I felt tiny and alone. So alone.
I switched from breathing in through my nose to my mouth. My dry tongue felt like
sandpaper in my mouth. No matter how many times I swallowed, the tightness in my throat
wouldnt ease. A large fist of panic punched my insides, driving me to find the one thing that anchored
me to the present.
My camera sat on the desk where Id left it charging. The black and white photographs
from famous photographers I admired floated across my laptop as my screen saver. A
landscape from Ansel Adams. A portrait by Yousuf Karsh. A fashion shot from the 60s by
Brian Duffy. None of them, in all their beauty, brought me comfort. With shaking fingers, I
unplugged the charger and slung the strap around my neck. Its familiar weight brought little
comfort.
I needed to do something.
I needed to snap out of this state.
My frantic gaze landed on the terrace doors. Even in the darkness, I saw snowflakes falling
from the sky. In a T-shirt and sweats, I stepped out into the terrace. The frigid air latching onto my
skin couldnt bring me back to life. The hollowness in me refused to recede.
Turning to the right, I studied the terrace expanse. One shaking step at a time, shivering
from the cold radiating deep within me, I made my way toward Lukas room. He said we
shared the terrace. If I walked far enough I would come to double doors similar to mine.
Because they shook so hard, I curled my fingers around my camera. Theyd gone numb
pretty fast. The pads of my feet too. I no longer felt the freezing stone.
The longest three minutes of my life later, I reached the double doors. All the lights inside
were turned off. Forcing one of my hands off its death grip on my camera, I flattened it
against the glass. The tips of my fingers were turning blue.
Touching the glass the whole time, I moved my hand toward the brass knob. At the back of
my mind, I prayed he didnt keep it locked. When I twisted and the door pulled out, I thought
my heart would explode in my chest. Unable to move fast enough, I let the warmth inside the
living room similar to mine embrace me.
I had no idea what brought me to his room now. The push to do something was way too
strong for me to think clearly. I took a second to look around within the dimness of the living area.
His space seemed to have the same orientation as mine. The bathroom to the left from
where I stood by the terrace doors, the living area, and the bedroom to the right. An electric guitar
leaned against one of the couches. Scattered on the coffee table were several music
sheets and yellow pad paper with scribbled lines on them. A pair of jeans lay forgotten on the floor.
About a yard away was the dark sweater Id seen on him this afternoon.
The divider between the bedroom and living area was left wide open. The spicy sweet scent
of him calmed my taxed lungs. Each inhalation brought much needed quivering comfort. I
turned toward the bedroom and walked inside like a piece of string tied me to the prostrate
body on the bed.
The sheets only covered the lower half of Lukas body. His bare upper half gave me a
glimpse of the metal bar on his left nipple. My tongue darted across my lower lip. My heart
sped up now for a whole different reason. I shouldnt invade his privacy this way. But I
couldnt leave. Not now or I would shatter into a million pieces without anyone to put me
back together. To stay whole, I needed to be here.
He cradled his head with one arm while the other lay across his flat stomach. Lines of
muscle defined each delectable part of his body. The peace on his face called to me. Without
thinking, I lifted my camera and took a series of pictures. One focused on his face while the
rest showcased different distances from his body.
Setting my camera on the bedside table, I reached out and traced his lips with my fingertip.
My mouth still remembered how they felt against me. The skin below my navel quivered in
shared memory. Inch by inch, the hollowness in me receded like a black hole collapsing onto
itself. A tidal wave of relief rushed through me, threatening to buckle my unsteady knees.
Before I could think straight, I reached for the hem of my T-shirt and pulled it off my
suddenly sweltering skin, then tossed it aside. I unclasped my bra, releasing my breasts with
a bounce from its underwire casing. Next I skimmed my hands down my scarred abdomen
and shimmed out of my sweats. I stepped out of them and pulled back the sheet covering the
rest of Lukas body. His breathing stayed relaxed, deep in sleep. He wore boxer shorts to bed.
I felt it only fair to keep my panties on.
Refusing to listen to my conscience begging me to run back to my room, I climbed onto his
bed and straddled him. Ever so slowly, I lowered myself against him. Without any sort of
prompting, I felt him stir beneath me. Exhilarating excitement at his response even in sleep
rolled over my skin, inspiring me to lower my lips to his. I nibbled and bit and kissed. Still he
remained asleep.
I trailed kisses along his jaw and lifted his chin to give me better access to the column of
his throat. Making a stop at the increasing pulse at the base of his neck, I gave it a quick suck before
flicking my tongue over it. A groan escaped his lips. I froze, looking up. His eyelids
stayed closed, but his eyes moved rapidly beneath them. He was dreaming. I breathe a sigh of
relief.
Mischief bounced around in my stomach. I wiggled my hips and felt him harden further
beneath me. Heat spread across my face. I should stop. It was the proper thing to do. But if I returned
to my room now, Id be facing the emptiness again, the fear, the pain. I couldnt do
that. Not right now.
Whether he liked it or not, Luka was my anchor to the present. And based on his bodys
reaction to my gathering warmth, he liked it. Placing my hands on either side of him, I
peppered open-mouthed kissed on every inch of his wide chest until I reached the one place
Id wanted to lick since I first saw it at the video shoot. I run the flat of my tongue over the bolt on his
nipple, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from Luka. Emboldened by his response,
I took the nipple along with its silver accessory into my mouth and suck hard. Luka cried out.
Suddenly his hands gripped my hips, putting a stop to the grinding I hadnt realized Id
been doing until I couldnt feel the delicious friction anymore. I sat up and met his surprised gaze. My
nipples hardened at finally seeing him awake. Like in slow motion, I watched the
realization form on his face. He wasnt dreaming. I was really half-naked and on top of him,
having my way with his body.
Dakota?
This position gave me perfect access to his erection. I responded by rubbing myself against
his length. His breathing hitched and his fingers tightened at my waist. The rings he wore dug into my
skin, spurring me onward. I increased my rhythm, craving for more of his hardness,
more of his heat.
Dakota, he said again, no longer a question.
I refused to speak. If I said anything now, the spell would break. I felt way too good to
stop. I kept my gaze locked on his until the blue glazed over. Desire came to life in their
depths. He could have stopped me at any point. He was strong enough to lift me off him. But
he didnt. Instead he moved his hips in time with mine; eliciting moans Id been keeping in
this whole time. I didnt need any further encouragement.
Little by little the pressure in me mounted. I struggled for breath, each exhalation coming
out as sobs of ecstasy. I rode him with abandon, running my fingers up the corded muscle of
his arms until I reached his callused hands. I held on. Almost there. Just. A little. More.
Luka grunted, adding more pressure to where our bodies met. I felt the tip of him slide
against my center and I cried out. He soon followed, calling out my name.
Not once did we unlock our gaze from each other. We watched as we climaxed one after
the other. I slowed my rhythm, milking every last quivering warmth he sent up and down my
body. I wanted the moment to last forever.
But I knew it wouldnt. From the second it began, I knew.
Once the last of the quakes eased and my muscles relaxed, I heaved a content sigh. Sweaty
and spent, I unlocked his hold on my hips and climbed out of bed. Luka sat up and stared.
Not paying attention to the question on his beautiful face, I picked up my clothes and put
them back on, leaving my camera for last. Once it was around my neck again, the gray of
dawn arrived.
Dakota? Luka finally said.
Wrapping my hand around the back of his neck, I leaned in and coaxed his lips apart with
mine. I touch my tongue against his, shivering at the feel of the metal stud there. Just as he reached out
for me, I pulled back with a wide smile on my face.
Thanks, I said. I needed that.
I made an about face and padded out of his room, using the terrace again as my return
route to my room. Snow continued to fall, melting the second the flakes touched my super-
heated skin. I didnt mind them.
Invigorated, I stepped into my room and took a deep breath, ready to face another day.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Confrontation
Guilt washed over me like the hot stream of water coming from the showerhead. It stirred
up acid in my grumbling stomach. As I leaned my forehead against the tile and let the water
just run, I mentally flogged myself. What had I done? Well, I knew what I did. I just couldnt accept
the fact that I actually did it.
Steam rose all around me, constricting every breath. No matter how hot the water got, I
shivered. Id used Luka to run away from the demons in my head. Usually, I handled the
dreams by taking a walk around the block or just getting back to work. This morning
everything seemed different. Id lost control of my senses and begged for some sort of
release. Now I may have destroyed any chances of a non-awkward photo shoot with Luka.
And I just left him there, without explanation.
I needed that? What kind of jerk said something like that after using someone so
blatantly? I shouldnt just mentally flog myself, they should drag me out and tie me to a pole and whip
me.
Okay, a tad too overdramatic, but I was in that sort of mood.
Skin pruned and forehead aching from the cold tile, I pushed down the tap. Slowly, the
waterfall dried up. For a second, I stood in the shower, feeling the water beading my body roll down
my skin. Lukas fingers left their mark on my hips; hed gripped me so hard.
Ugh! I pushed aside the fogged up glass door. Im the worst person in the world.
I stepped onto the floor mat and grabbed a towel from the stack. Briskly drying myself
then wrapping the towel around me, I thought about how I could show my face to Luka ever
again. Id never been shy when it came to sex. I took what I wanted, but never taking
advantage of my partner. I gave as good as I gotin some cases even better. Id reached a new
low by running to Luka for comfort. What happened when my thirty days were up?
Pissed at my lack of self-control, I fastened my patch tightly before facing the mirror. I
frowned at my reflection. Confronting my dreams was furthest from my favorite things to do.
I usually ignored them and moved on with my life. Why I moved in the direction of Luka I
had no idea.
I should just apologize, I told my reflection. Oh, my ego didnt like that. So what if I did what I did?
Lets be honest, hed been sexually harassing me since I came here. Alright, it
hadnt happened since the night Id offered myself up to him, but still.
Squaring my shoulders, I picked up my toothbrush. With every stroke of the bristles
against my teeth, I crossed further and further into the dark side, considering what happened
this morning as payback.
Half crazy, I dropped the towel around my body into the hamper and quickly pulled on my
clothes. No use running around in circles in my head searching for reasons. The worst that
could happen when I faced him again would be rejection. Id been through it before and
survived. If I acted like nothing happened then maybe we could move on.
In the living room, while tying my boots, I felt a fraction better. I just had to survive a
couple more weeks. Two weeks that would go by in a flash if I focused on my work. And
speaking of work, my next subject traipsed into my room without knocking.
Oh, good, Phoenix said, a bright smile on her makeup free face. Youre awake.
Youre in a good mood today, I replied, pulling the knot of my laces tight.
Grab your camera.
I havent thought of the right shoot for you yet.
She tsked. No, silly. Were all heading for the lake this morning.
The lake? Id wanted to head out that way since seeing it from the air.
After yesterdays unpleasantness, Phoenix rolled her eyes, weve decided to take a break
and have a picnic.
I looked over my shoulder about to mention the snow but not a flake remained.
Apparently, the sun decided to shine brightly while I chastised myself in the bathroom.
Getting up from the couch, I grabbed my camera. A blush crept up my cheeks. The pictures
Id taken of Luka asleep were still inside. Might as well stamp creep across my forehead. Who
knew I had weirdo genes in me?
We? I turned toward the lead singer of Vicious standing in the middle of my living room
in sweats. She totally looked the opposite of the persona she carried with her on stage. Just to keep
evidence of the difference, I snapped a picture.
No! She squealed, covering her face. Im not photo ready.
I checked said photo on my digi screen. Youre crazy. You actually look so much better
without the makeup on. I went to her side and tilted the LCD her way. Not that you arent
gorgeous all made up either.
Phoenix peered at her picture and touched her face. You think so?
I know so. I powered down my camera to save the battery. So, who is this we that
decided on a picnic today?
The smile on her face should have made me nervous.
***
The manmade lake reflected the suns rays, making it seem like glass. The water only
moved when a cool breeze glided over it. I shielded my eye from the glare. The weather didnt
feel like December in Crescent City. I breathed in the freshness of pine and all my muscles
relaxed. A stand of trees surrounded the lake with a patch of grass and wildflowers separating the
water from the mainland. Oh, the things you could have if you had enough money. A
private lake wasnt too shabby at all.
Phoenix and Yana spread out a blanket below the shade provided by a bur oak. Demitri
trotted to the small dock to check on the dinghy turned over at the end of it. The oars right
underneath.
Dray, in waders and a straw hat, cast a line into the water while the one person Id been
succeeding at avoiding hefted a fairly large picnic basket onto the blanket. Even on a picnic, Yana
still wore her Lolita outfit, this time completing the ensemble with a parasol. The guys, aside from
Dray, preferred jeans.
I chuckled. No matter how casual the members of Vicious dressed, I could still take
pictures of them for a catalogue and it would sell well. Sometimes I wished Id catch them
during an un-pretty moment. What I would give for a bad hair day or a giant zit.
Unfortunately, something told me that was never gonna happen.
Dont you have servants for that? I teased as Phoenix and Yana dug into the basket.
When were at the lake we like doing things ourselves, Luka answered for the girls, his
penetrating gaze on me. I had to stop myself from running back to the house. I said I would
face him and that was what I was doing. I was woman enough to deal with the consequences
of what Id done.
The boats looking good, Demitri said from behind me.
Lets have lunch first then you can take me out, Phoenix answered. Her eyes only on
Demitri, she smiled.
Ill call in Dray, Luka said. When he walked passed me, he whispered, This isnt over,
you and me.
A powerful shiver rolled through me at his words. I closed my eye and forced myself not to
pant in anticipation. It didnt help that his scent swirled in the air after him.
Dakota, egg salad or macaroni?
Yanas question pulled me out of a potentially embarrassing moment. Way too many eyes
here. I prayed Luka wouldnt do anything stupid in front of his bandmates. At least not while
they were looking.
Egg, I said.
Demitri took a seat beside Phoenix. Yana, setting her parasol aside, scoped egg salad into a
plate for me. An actual plate. No paper for these folks. The three of them on the blanket
represented such a peaceful scene that I would be a fool not to capture it. I waited until Luka and
Dray, whod left his fishing pool on the shore, joined them.
Vicious, a vastly popular rock band, had a picnic on a sunny day like regular people. I
shook my head. I wouldnt have believed it if I wasnt witness to the event. Sometimes we
placed celebrities on a pedestal so high we often forgot they were people too. Dray must have
mentioned one of his facts again because everyone laughed. Yana slapped him on the arm
before handing him a bottle of iced tea. Luka, stretched out on his side, took a bite of an
apple. I swallowed when the fruits juices ran down his chin. He took a swipe at it with his
thumb and brought the digit into his mouth. The resulting sucking sound sent quivers in
places I had no right to think about in such a wholesome setting. I suspected he did it on
purpose just to mess with me.
Phoenix fed a spoonful of macaroni salad to Demitri. The scene looked so natural. The
bright sunlight streamed down on them and before I knew it I had five pictures ready to
touch up when I got back to my room and uploaded them on my laptop.
Put that camera down and eat, Yana said. Your salads getting cold.
A grin pulled on my lips. Egg salad is cold, mother.
Dont sass me, girl. The Gothic Lolita raised an eyebrow in challenge.
Luka chuckled. Our egg salad is warm, not cold.
Oh. I dropped my gaze, hoping my blush wasnt too obvious.
Leaving my camera to dangle from my neck, I trotted to join the scene and occupied my
own corner of the blanket, right by Lukas legs. I would have chosen a different location if
there was one. Oh, who was I kidding? I still would have sat close to Luka. I took the plate
Yana handed me and shoved egg salad into my mouth. The combination of mayonnaise,
mustard, and honey coated my tongue with every bite. Maybe if my mouth and hands were
occupied I wouldnt say or do anything Id regret later. Of course, it didnt help that Luka
watched me the whole time. Yup, the bastard was making uncomfortable me on purpose.
Two gooey ham and cheese sandwiches, a second helping of egg salad, and a bottle of iced
tea later, I found myself wandering away from the group into the woods. Dray had returned
to his fishing. Phoenix and Demitri paddled out to the middle of the lake. Luka dozed off on a bench in
the nearby gazebo. And Yana spoke on her phonesomething about the Christmas
party the band was set to make an appearance in.
In any of my photography classes, I never chose nature as my subject unless I really had
to. Totally not my forte, but one could never have enough practice. If I wanted to be one of
the best at my chosen profession, I needed flexibility.
The vibrant orange of a snapdragon caught my attention. I dropped to my knees in front of
it and searched for the best angle before taking the shot. Unbeknownst to most amateur
photographersbasically anyone with a camerataking a picture didnt mean just releasing
the shutter. Those who loved the art found the best picture from something as mundane as a
snapdragon. I lost myself in the beauty around me and the art I created from it with my
camera. For the first time since my taking advantage of Lukayes, I stumbled back into that
mindsetI didnt think of anything but being one with my surroundings.
I should have known my relaxation wouldnt last when a twig snapped behind me followed
by words that sent a chill up my spine.
Care to explain to me what the hell happened in my room this morning?
I let the chills subside before I pushed up to my feet and faced the consequences of my
actions. Luka leaned against a tree with his arms crossed. The seriousness in his blue eyes
unnerved me.
I was just looking to scratch an itch? I joked.
He shook his head so slowly that I didnt know if he was admonishing me with the action
or he couldnt believe the audacity in my response. I couldnt believe myself either. When it
came to Luka, I was beginning to think nothing made sense. He pushed off the tree and
dropped his arms to his sides. I held my breath. In five steps, he had his hands wrapped
around my arms, and with the strength I knew he possessed, pushed me up against another
tree. Before I could say anything, he slammed his thigh between my legs until he kneaded the
spot that had begun pulsing since his arrival. I thought Id done so well ignoring it until Luka forced
me to focus on that particular spot on my body.
See, I dont believe you. He tilted his head. If it was an itch, you would have woken me.
Instead, you take your pleasure and leave.
My heart pounded so hard against my chest that I was pretty sure Luka could hear it.
About that
His eyebrow rose, taking the sexy bolt with it.
I honestly dont know what I was thinking. Partially the truth. If I was in my right mind,
I wouldnt have pounced on Luka the way I did. Then when it was over, I didnt want to draw
attention to it. Consider it payback for touching me in the car. I couldnt believe I just said that. From
the widening of Lukas eyes, he couldnt believe it either. Every smart reply I
thought I had went out the window.
He leaned in and whispered over my lips, Ive never been made to feel so cheap in my
whole life.
I breathed in his words, tasting the apple hed bitten into at lunch. Its not going to
happen again. You have my word.
Your word means nothing to me. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and explored the
deepest corners until I whimpered beneath him. He pulled back the second I melted into the
kiss. I swallowed his sweetness, my gut twisting in a pathetic yearning for more. I left you
alone because you asked me to. Then you come into my room at dawn and have your way
with me while I sleep.
With every word that left his lips, my guilt grew. Ashamed, I dropped my gaze. Im sorry,
okay?
What are you apologizing for?
Shocked, I looked into his eyes for confirmation that he was shitting me. The seriousness
there hadnt changed. I thought
He laughedhusky, throaty. Dakota, you misunderstand me. He punctuated his words
by grinding his thigh harder against my center. My breath caught in my throat. A part of me
knew I wouldnt be satisfied with just dry humping anymore. If Luka didnt take this further,
Id go insane.
What are you saying? I stammered out, trying to think with my head and not with other
more carnal parts of me. I should really give my pussy a good talking to. It was humiliating
how hot it got just by its close proximity to Luka. Where had my self-respect gone?
What you did He paused, licking his lips. I liked it.
Without thinking twice, my knee jerked up, catching Luka right between the legs. Breath
exploded out of his lungs as he cupped himself and fell to the ground. He groaned, curling
into the fetal position. Snorting down at him, I walked away. Liked what I did my ass.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Distraction
Staring at the gallery photos Id taken for the day spread out on my laptop screen, I rested
my chin on one hand and drummed the fingers of the other on the desk. The knot on my
brow got so tight I feared I needed Botox to smooth it out.
What the hell are you doing here? I asked, finally unable to ignore the blond-haired rock
star on the couch.
Working, he said.
I tore my gaze from the screen to scowl at him. Luka bent over the coffee table, marking
musical notes on a sheet. Hed been camped out in my room since dinner ended. At first, I
went about my business without acknowledging him. I should have known better. Having
Luka in the room supercharged the air. Periodically, goose bumps rose all over my arms when
I thought he was watching me. Yet when I glanced at him, he seemed not to have moved from
the couch, his back to me. Once in a while hed pick up his guitar and strummed a note then
scribbling followed.
I thought an hour max and hed leave. Three hours later, Id reached my limit.
Work? Work! My voice rose. Im doing work. You are just being annoying.
As if he let my mounting aggravation roll off him, Luka shrugged. Besides finding the
right note? I dont think Ive made any noise to disturb you since I got here. Just keep doing what you
do and Ill do the same.
I want you to leave.
Not gonna happen. He rubbed out a line on a song hed been working on and scribbled in
a new one.
His response propelled me out of my seat to stomp to the opposite couch. I used the coffee
table as a buffer because I couldnt be sure I could keep myself from grabbing him and
physically throwing him out of my room. I tapped my foot, hands on my hips.
Luka, I like to work alone. You being here infringes on my privacy. Now, can you please
leave so I can go back to what Im doing?
He glanced up at me without straightening from his bent position over the sheets of paper
scattered all over the coffee table. What part of not gonna happen dont you understand?
I threw up my hands. The seriousness in his voice deflated my temper. Another thing I
began to understand? How much of a pushover Id become since coming to Lunar Manor.
Shoulders drooping, I sank down into the couch.
What? A knee to the family jewels not enough of a deterrent for you? I challenged half-
heartedly.
He merely snorted, returning his attention to the music sheets. Id say low blow if it
didnt sound so pathetic right now.
I sniffed, crossing my arms and legs. Yup. I kneed everyones precious Luka Visraya in the
groin and left him for dead. I had no idea why it happened exactly. He said he liked what I did then,
as he leaned in to kiss me again, my knee when up and laid down the hurt.
Why dont you leave? he asked nonchalantly after a minute.
Because one, this is my room. And two, I get the feeling youll just follow me to wherever
I decide to go. The truth in my words grated at my insides.
I caught the tiny grin tugging at one side of his lips even with his head ducked. I like that you think
these are your rooms.
An exasperated breath whooshed out of my lungs. I untangled my arms and slapped the
couch on either side of me. Luka, youve got to be kidding! I really have work to do and
youre just getting in the way.
How? He pinned me with a level stare and sat back, spreading his jean-clad legs wide.
His arms rested at his sides, relaxed.
How what?
How am I getting in your way?
A suffocating blush rose from my neck to my face. Im not dignifying that with a
response.
As if hed cornered me, the grin hed been suppressing finally made a full appearance.
Then Im not really getting in the way.
I noted the lateness of the time. I suppose youre sleeping here too?
Mischief mixed with his triumph. Youll let me?
Hell no. I pushed off the couch and marched back to the desk. Luka chuckled at my
defeat. If he wanted to stay in my room, it was his prerogative. Lunar Manor was his house.
The way I saw it, he could squat wherever he liked. Like a stray, the more attention I gave
him the more hed hang around. Surely, if left alone, hed get bored eventually and leave.
After five minutes of pointless staring at Drays fishing picture, I twisted in my seat. Are
you punishing me for this morning? Is that it?
I told you, I liked what you did, he answered absent-mindedly.
Then why are you doing this?
I hoped it was more the question rather than the desperation in my tone that got him to
stop working. He dropped the pencil and it rolled over the music sheets. Sitting back again, he leaned
his neck over the lip of the couch so he looked up at the ceiling. His eyes closed when he reached up
and pinched the bridge of his nose. For the first time, Luka actually looked
exhausted. It confused me.
Look, he said as a sigh. Avoiding you isnt working. When Im not near you, all I can
think about is you and how much I want to touch you. The blood in my body divided
between my face and my crotch. He continued without opening his eyes. Im done listening
to what you want. What you did this morning opened the floodgates for me. Now you have to
deal with the consequences. My breath hitched because hed hit the nail on the head.
I twisted back to face my laptop, dazed. How could I respond to that? This morning I was
all for facing the consequences, but I expected his ire and continued avoidance, not his
attraction. Damn it all to hell. What had I done? I opened the floodgates? What the hell did
that mean? I pushed back until I could thump my forehead against the desks hard wood. I
groaned as if in pain.
The desk muffled my voice when I said, This is not what I signed up for.
Suck it up. I heard the pencil scratch across the sheets again. We dont always get what
we want.
I turned so my cheek rested against the tabletop. When did you ever not get what you
wanted? I meant the question as a rich person joke and didnt really expect a response, but the
loaded pause from Luka baffled me.
Even I have things I dont get, Dakota.
The way he said it pinched at my heart. So sad. So filled with longing. Across from me sat a
complex yet bordering on melancholic man. He seemed to carry his emotion on his tight
shoulders. Did Luka ever really just let loose and relax?
You know, Phoenix told me you were the fun loving type once. What changed? I had no
clue what prompted me to ask, but if he was staging a sit in protest in my room then he might
as well answer my questions.
Things change. People change. He ran his fingers through his hair, the rings circling
them catching the light.
Enlightening.
What more do you want?
A less vague explanation would be nice.
Well, there really isnt one. He shook his head. One day you wake up and the world you
know shifts from its axis and you can barely stand afterward let alone cope. Shit happens,
Dakota, you of all people should know that.
Howd this suddenly become about me?
He twisted around and eyed me. That patch says you understand what Im talking about.
Actually, no it doesnt. I made a fist, refusing to let him goad me into acknowledging we
had something in common by touching my patch.
Are you telling me what happened to your eye doesnt bother you.
Of course it did, but I shouldnt let those feelings define who I am, cripple me in any way. I told him
so. He turned back to his lyrics and musical notes.
Then youre far stronger than I am, he mumbled.
Youre right, shit happens, but it doesnt mean you cant adapt. I straightened and cued
up the picture of Phoenix and Demitri on the boat. A smile formed on my lips. They clearly
loved each other. It was way too obvious from the way they stared into each others eyes.
Demitri softened up near Phoenix; and Phoenix glowed when he was around. At the back of
my mind, I secretly wanted what they hada love so strong it oozed out and everyone else
felt it.
I hope youre right.
I hope so too, I whispered back.
Pretty soonand I couldnt tell you how this happenedLuka and I found a rhythm where
he worked and I succeeded in ignoring his presence. Nothing like touching up photos to
create the perfect distraction. My back hurt by the time I thought to stretch away from the
screen. How I hadnt destroyed my one remaining eyeball yet was beyond me. I blinked
several times to moisten the dried up surface before giving in to the temptation to rub. I was far from
done for the day, but I liked my progress.
I reached for the phone to call for a pot of coffee when the door to my room burst open.
My heart executed a backflip at the piercing wail. I dropped the headset back into its cradle
and turned to witness Yana kneeling in front of Luka with her head buried in his lap. I
covered my ears when her wails took on a pitch no one appreciated.
Even though I was afraid to know, I still asked through the racket, Whats going on now?
Rubbing the back of Yanas head, Luka glanced toward me. Poison just reached a million
downloads on iTunes.
Eye wide, jaw dropped, I stared a long time before I could speak again. And shes crying
because?
Yana lifted her head, snot running down her nose. Because this stupid doodoo head
refuses to accept the interview every news outlet is offering. He has his pick of networks!
Its not a big deal, Yana. Luka sighed.
Of course its a big deal! Huge tear waterfalls spurted out of Yana like she was an anime
character. Add the harlequin black and white ensemble she had on, and she embodied
someone straight out of a cartoon. In this state it became really hard to take her seriously.
You and the band just made history and youre not even acknowledging it. She got to her
feet and rubbed her eyes with the sides of her fists before she ran out of my room screaming
I hate you!
I wasnt sure if she slammed the door or her high speed momentum slammed it for her.
Luka chuckle-snorted while I blinked in disbelief. Vicious reached a million downloads on
one song. Whoa! They did make history and Luka just laughed like he could do that on a daily
basis. I thought my head would explode from the confusion.
Do you want some coffee? Luka stretched the entire length of him then pushed off the
couch.
What? I sounded like an idiot.
Coffee? Im ordering a pot for myself. He sauntered to the desk and picked up the askew
phone that didnt quite land on its cradle when Id dropped it earlier.
Shouldnt you be happy about the bands latest achievement? I really wanted to know
despite the breathy way the question came out.
He punched in the number for the kitchen. Can we get two pots of coffee with the works
over at Dakotas room? Yeah. That too. Then he ended the call and stared at my face. Poison
is a personal song for me. Its out there because I wanted to express myself. So what if people like it?
I could care less if no one bought it so long as I was able to get it out there.
Huh. An artist true to his craft. From the conviction in Lukas tone, I saw his point. To him
it didnt matter if he was successful or not so long as he got to do what he wanted. He was a
man after my own heart. A scary, scary thought.
I pushed my chair back so I could get away from his drugging scent and think clearly. Can
you make Yanas life a little easier? Shes only looking out for whats best for the band.
Lukas eyebrows came together. Do you want me to take the interview?
I heard the challenge in his voice. Its not up to me.
But do you want me to take the interview?
You shouldnt do anything because someone else wants you to do it.
Then what do you mean by making Yanas life easier? Taking the interview would do that,
wouldnt it?
Okay, even I knew I didnt make sense, but I wasnt about to show Luka that. If you dont
know whats good for you then I have nothing more to add.
He leaned down until his hands wrapped around the armrests of my chair, corralling me
in. Oh, I know whats good for me. The question is, do you?
I hated the answer that popped up in my head. Why did every other thing that left Lukas
mouth sound naughty, dirty, or naughty and dirty? Of course I knew, and it didnt help that
he caught me on it. The spark in his eyes said so. But Luka got the last bit wrong. The
question wasnt if I knew what was good for meit was did I have the balls to actually claim
it?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Undercurrent
Id just fallen asleep when an icy sensation woke me in slow degrees. The cold emanated
from my breast, of all places. It swirled around my nipple, causing it to pucker painfully. Then
something hot and wet replaced the cold and I arched up involuntarily.
In the darkness behind my eyelids, scenes from my nightmares flashed like multiple
screens turned on at once. My breathing grew shallow and quick. The air I inhaled wasnt
enough to ease the burning in my lungs. I needed more. Much more.
Again the sudden ice prick came, now tormenting my other breast. I groaned, rolling to my
side in an attempt to get away from it. Resistance kept me in place. I pulled, but something
prevented my arm from leaving its position above my head. My consciousness fought out of
the heaviness of sleep. I opened my eye and turned my head toward my arm. A silk tie
wrapped around my wrist, the other end attached to the bed post. I whipped my head to my
other side. Even with my blind spot, I knew my other arm resembled the one I could see.
Panting, I yanked at my legs. They wouldnt budge either. The same silk held them in place
at the ankles, spreading my legs apart. Like crawling spiders, panic climbed up my throat.
Shit! Fuck! I continued to yank at my restraints. Shit! Shit! Each curse a breath I
couldnt afford to lose. My stomach twisted, flushing bile into my mouth. I swallowed. I had
to keep my throat clear if I wanted to scream for help.
Someone sucked on my nipple. I forced my senses to focus despite their rapid fraying.
Blond curls met my dropped gaze. Luka released my breast with an audible pop and looked up
at me with a mischievous grin. He winked as if everything was okay.
Luka! Each inhalation got shallower, more ragged. What the fuck are you doing?
He tilted his head as if I spoke a different language. The move caused his cheek to graze
my already sensitive nipple. Since you gave me such a wonderful wakeup call yesterday, I
thought Id repay you in kind.
Swallowing another wave of acid, I forced myself to say, Luka, you have to let me go. The
shadows of my dreams danced in the back of my head. The way the man held me down. The
cold knife slicing into my skin. All that blood. A metal band wrapped around my lungs and
tightened.
Why?
I shook my head. You dont understand. You have to let me go, right now!
He shook his head too. I dont think so.
No! I whimpered. Panic squeezed my heart like an orange. Please, please, Luka. Untie
me. You dont understand. I kept repeating the same words over and over, pleading more
and more with him. A cold sweat coated my entire body. Luka didnt seem to understand the
pain slowly sucking me in.
Ignoring my pleas, Luka pushed off then straddled me like I did to him yesterday morning.
Something in me snapped. His move set off a chain reaction of screams and thrashing. I
whipped my head from side to side, twisting my body in an attempt to get him off me. Lukas
eyes grew wide. He fought to untie me, holding me down which brought on more bouts of
screaming. As I got lightheaded from the panic blocking much needed air from entering my
lungs, Luka managed to reach for the ties on my arms then on my legs.
Once freed, I pushed him off me and rolled off the bed. I heard a thump, but I didnt look
back to check what caused it. I ran for the terrace doors, yanked them open, and rushed into
the gray morning light. I took the terrace steps two at a time. Snow fell, its flakes melting the second
they touched my overheated skin.
I couldnt breathe, but I kept running. My hands clawed at the empty air like I swam for
shore. My bare feet hardly felt the grass and snow crushing beneath my weight.
Dakota!
Like a whip cracked, I veered sharply into a stand of trees and picked up my pace. If I could
run, I would live. I saw my breath in front of me. For every step I took, heavy footfalls
followed. They grew closer. I didnt look back. I couldnt.
My hair struck my face like mini-slaps when I dodged trees. Shivers rolled through my
body. I ignored the low hanging branches and bushes scraping my bare arms and legs. The
sting gave me much needed strength to keep going. The footsteps chasing after me didnt
relent no matter how fast I went.
Dakota, stop! A hand touched my shoulder. I screamed and pushed forward. Closing
fingers scratched down my back.
The saliva in my mouth had since dried from my heavy breathing. My throat felt like a
husk opening and closing with the cold air that entered and the hot breath that escaped. I
didnt think to swallow. At this point, I couldnt.
Dakota, please!
I stumbled at the recognition the desperate plea brought. Falling to my knees, I wrapped
my arms around myself and screamed. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldnt
any more. The harrowing shrieks shook my already quaking body.
Strong arms wrapped around me from behind. Like a wild animal, I fought back with all
my strengthpunching, kicking, and scratching.
Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!
The arms didnt relent. Grunts answered each blow that struck true. Whoever held me
pulled my body back against a solid, heaving chest. I continued the barrage of fists and kicks.
I bit down on the arm across the tops of my breasts. I drew blood, tasting its copper in my dry mouth.
Still he didnt let go.
He continued to hold me until my screams turned into sobs. I tilted my face up toward the
falling snow and wept. Breath stealing howls ravaged my taxed lungs. I clawed at the arms
around me, unable to articulate my pleas for release. The body behind me rocked back and
forth. Warm lips touched my ear, whispering words I couldnt hear. Fat tears rolled down my
sweat drenched face. Still I cried out.
The legs covered in cotton sweats I sat between wrapped around my seated form, pushing
my knees further against my chest. He corralled me in human limbs. I moved my fingers
from his arms to his thighs, digging my nails in. He grunted. Dots of blood rose from beneath
the cotton. Still I scored his flesh. The pain in me grew so great I needed to inflict the same pain on
someone else just to find ease.
The rocking continued. My ass grew numb and wet from the melted snow. The heat from
the bare chest against my back didnt help chase the flash freeze happening inside my body.
For the first time since I fell, I shut my mouth and swallowed. It hurt like a punch in the face.
Tears continued to fall.
Im sorry, Dakota, he whispered. He leaned the side of his head against mine as my sobs
receded like the tide. Im so, so sorry.
I focused on getting air into my lungs. A prickling sensation surfaced inside my chest. My
heart beat so hard, I heard it in my ears.
In stages, my consciousness returned to my mind. The dreams crawled back to the
darkness, leaving me exhausted. My shoulders slumped, taking my entire upper half with
them. If it werent for the muscular bands of flesh securing me in place, I would have fallen
forward on my face.
Dakota?
I finally recognized the voice as Lukas. The accent entered the rational part of my brain. I
reached up for his hands and disentangled them from my body. When he refused to let go, I
growled. He released me. I shoved his legs apart then pushed off the damp ground. Snow kept
falling around us, coating the forest in pure white.
Standing on sore feet, I assessed the rest of my body. I wore nothing but the black panties
Id put on last night. Exposed both inside and out, I covered my breasts by hugging myself.
My breathing still came too fast for me to settle. I needed a scalding shower to get rid of how dirty
and violated I felt inside.
What happened?
I looked down at Luka and narrowed my gaze at his confusion. I want you to get all your
shit out of my room and never come back. My voice came out hoarsely, like I was battling an
ugly case of sore throat.
Dakota, what did I do? What happened?
You tied me to the bed, you asshole! I growled at him through the pain lining the walls
of my throat. The muscles constricted, choking my attempts at gulping air.
I dont understand. Fear sparked in his clear blue eyes. He continued to sit in the snow
in just sweat pants, legs spread apart, arms on his knees. I would have found him handsome
if not for the despicable thing hed done. All I wanted was to pleasure you. Hear you moan
my name.
Well, it backfired on you, didnt it? My words rang feral to my ears. I didnt care. I would have
kicked him if I had the strength.
No shit. He ran a frustrated hand through his curls. They bounced back in place. In the
SUV, when you were moaning in your sleep. You were dreaming of something.
Nows not the time to remind me of that. I stomped away, unable to stare at him any
longer. The cuts on his arms and legs freaked me out. Id inflicted those. Me. In a moment of
pure insanity, I hurt someone else other than myself. Granted, he deserved every scratch.
What kind of a guy ties you up in your sleep and thinks its a turn on? Kinky bastard! I
shoved away the fact that Lukas actions triggered my dreams. I would deal with the fallout
later.
Dakota! Luka called after me. Wait!
The crunch of snow from behind said Luka stood up and trailed after me. I gripped my
arms tighter around my violently shivering body. The cold on the outside matched my insides
now. Shower then coffee. Yes, I needed to anchor myself in the moment. If I didnt, I had no
idea what would happen. One thing was for sure, it scared the shit out of me to lose control
again.
Will you wait! Luka grabbed my shoulder.
I whirled around and my hand flew out. He dodged back, but not far enough that my
fingernails left shallow tracks down his cheek.
Dont touch me! I hissed through my teeth.
I just want to understand what happened, he insisted, hurt in the tightening of the skin
around his eyes.
Yeah? I stomped toward him. He had the good sense to move back. You want to
understand? Well, get in line because even I dont understand what happened. The words poured out
of me like poison. I get these dreams. I dont know what theyre about or where
they come from. All I know is they terrify the shit out of me. So imagine what happens when
I wake up tied to a bed with a guy I barely even know sexually harassing me?
I wasnt sexually harassing you, Luka said, indignation in his tone.
What? You think what you were doing was okay? I challenged back. I may be sexually
attracted to you but that doesnt give you the right to attempt to rape me.
Then what do you call what you did to me yesterday morning?
I had no response to that. Of course my actions came back to bite me in the ass. In a self-
conscious move, I reached up for my patch. Instead of hard velvet, my fingertips touched
jagged scar tissue. My breath caught.
What happened to my patch? I covered my dead eye.
Luka dropped his gaze. His hand squeezed the back of his neck when he said, I removed
it.
I ran forward and pummeled him in the chest. My fists tingled, I hit him so hard. You
fucking asshole! Why would you do that?
Luka didnt move to defend himself. He took the blows that bounced off his chest in
sickening thumps. I wanted to see whats underneath it.
Youre some piece of work, arent you? I bared my teeth. Its not enough that you tie me
to a bed, you invade my privacy by exposing the one thing I find most disgusting about
myself. My hate for you runs so deep I dont even think it has a bottom.
What happened to your eye?
I took a step back as if hed slapped me. You have some balls if you think Id tell you.
Dakota.
Are you going to tell me about your mental breakdown on tour? I said in a fit of
uncensored thinking.
Lukas stance stiffed. No.
No youre not going to tell me?
He shook his head. Im not discussing it.
Then we have nothing to talk about. Fed up by how stupid he looked right now, I whirled
around and trudged back toward the manor. Im done!
No, youre not. He hurried behind me.
Watch me. I covered my eye, more concerned someone would see the scar than my
naked breasts. The anger bubbling in me helped me forget the cold air and my numb feet. I
should have known coming here would lead to this. Im leaving! I screamed into the air. My
throat didnt like it and protested.
You cant leave.
And why not? I whirled back at Luka.
You signed a contract.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Trapped
Right, the stupid contract. In my temporary slip from reality, Id forgotten what kept me
from leaving the manor. Who ever thought several pieces of paper with your signature at the
end would shackle you to something crazy? I should have known, but how could any sane
person anticipate being tied to a bed while asleep?
Anger and hopelessness still churning in my gut, I marched into my bedroom and scanned
the immediate area. My patch lay on the night stand, including a bowl of melting ice,
strawberries, a can of whipped cream, and a feather. My brow puckered.
The hell is the feather for? I blurted out as I picked up the patch.
Youd be surprised how simulating
I raised my hand in front of Lukas bewildered face, blessedly interrupting the kinky
explanation falling out of his lips. I didnt ask you.
Dakota.
Dont Dakota me! I snapped, standing in the living room in only my snow-soaked
panties. Shivers crawled up and down my skin. Pick up all your shit and leave or I will burn
everything of yours in this room.
Whirling around, I headed for the bathroom and turned on the shower. Gently, like it was
something infinitely breakable, I placed my patch on the counter. I let the steam fill the room before I
removed the only article of clothing I had on. Id heard somewhere that I needed to
increase my body temperature first or my heart would stop. When my toes returned to their
natural color, albeit bitten pink, I allowed the water to embrace my body. My shivers grew in
intensitymy bodys way of regulating its temperature. I could only pray my mostly naked
jaunt through the woods wouldnt result in a cold. I didnt need to be sick on top of
everything else.
Id just tilted my face toward the waters hot stream when the doors to the bathroom slid
open. I did my best to stifle a groan by biting down on my lower lip, but in the tiled room it still came
out too loud.
Dakota, Im not leaving until you forgive me, Luka said.
Like thats gonna happen any time soon. I picked up the bar of soap and rubbed my
horrible morning away until I took off a layer of skin or felt clean. Whichever came first. I
needed to get my head screwed on straight if I wanted to continue living in Lunar Manor
without stabbing Luka in his sleep.
The door to the shower closet slid to the side. I twisted around and gasped.
What the hell are you doing?
Luka stepped inside and pulled the door closed, keeping the steam in. He hadnt removed
his sweats. Thank God for small miracles. Shower sex was very last on my list of things Id
like to do with Luka right now. I opened my mouth to cuss him out of the bathroom when the
remorse on his face hit me like a physical blow. I shut my mouth with an audible click of my
teeth. My lips disappeared in a grimace.
Without meeting my gaze, Luka sank to his knees on the wet tile. The stream of water my
body couldnt block soaked him. The water darkened his hair to spun gold. He bent his body
until he bowed like a disgraced samurai. He crawled forward an inch and took my foot in his
hands. He tugged it up. When I didnt move, he leaned forward further until his lips touched
the arch.
What are you doing? I breathed out, the steam heating my lungs. I maintained my
balance by splaying one hand against the wall. My shivers now didnt come from the cold.
Those were gone.
Dakota, Luka said against my foot. My intention was never to cause you pain. I really
did want to give you pleasure. I guess I shouldnt have tied you to the bed.
You think? I couldnt help it. I had the sexiest rock star alive bent over my foot in a
shower closet that suddenly felt so small. His submission gave me much needed strength. Id
broken apart in the woods today, and I needed to put myself back together.
Like he didnt hear my quip, he continued. I didnt know you were going to react that way
to my plans.
Hell, I didnt know Id react that way.
I should have thought things through. Luka kissed my foot again. Please, please forgive
me. I honestly didnt know.
My heart fell into my stomach. I didnt move, too shocked. Luka released my foot and
looked up at me like a prisoner pleading his case. Dropping the soap, I reached out and curled my
fingers into his hair. I gripped the strands hard and pulled. He hissed at the pain but did nothing to
stop me.
Youre still an asshole for what you did. I liked the power I had over him in this moment.
I should have been ashamed of it. Id never seen myself as dominant, but the strength
flowing through me said otherwise.
He nodded once. I really am.
The sincerity in his words melted some of the ice in my heart. Ill think about it.
Like hed been given a reprieve from the death sentence, Luka gripped my hips with his
hands and pulled me closer. I came willingly. He rested his forehead against the scars on my
abdomen.
Thank you, he whispered.
Swallowing, I forced myself to concentrate. I was so not having sex with him in this
bathroom. Now, get your crap out of my room before I change my mind.
Without meeting my gaze, Luka got up and left the bathroom like Id asked. It took several
minutes before I could pick up the bar of soap again and resume my shower. Then I turned
off the tap and quickly wrapped myself in a thick robe. The return of my patch to its proper
place eased my frayed nerves. I blow-dried my hair and stepped out of the bathroom, steam
curling to the ceiling in my wake.
Listening to me for once, Luka left no evidence hed been in my room. His guitar and
music sheets were gone. The bedside table with his kinky sex food lay empty. I shivered at
what he could have had planned if I hadnt freak out. Even the pots of coffee and plates with
leftovers were gone.
Relieved, I sauntered to the phone and ordered chicken soup for breakfast then hurriedly
put my warmest clothes ona cable-knit sweater and wool-lined jeans. The snow had gotten
heavier since Luka and I made it back to the house. I stepped back into the living room to
find Deidra depositing my breakfast on the coffee table.
Chicken soup? She raised an eyebrow at me.
Just staving off a potential cold. I sniffed. God, please, please, let me not get sick. Taking pictures
with a runny nose was such a hassle. I still had Phoenixs photo shoot. Id promised
her wed get through it soon. Because of this mornings craziness, my mind drew a blank
when it came to potential concepts. Phoenix continued to remain a mystery to me.
Suddenly exhausted, I slumped into the couch and picked up the bowl, leaving the spoon
on the tray. I lifted the rim to my lips and drank the salty liquid. My stomach thanked me for its
warmth while my throat grumbled angrily. The soup eased the soreness there, but I had a
feeling it would be a couple of days before swallowing wouldnt hurt as much. I was surprised
no one came running at my screams. But considering the snow, no one in their right mind
would be out there that early.
Deidra moved about in my rooms like normal. Nothing about her expression told me she
knew anything about what had happened here. It unnerved me to think the servants knew of
Lukas actions and the resulting consequences. Then again, what household maid didnt
know what was going on? I didnt dare say anything.
About halfway through my chicken soup, the door to my room burst open. In magenta
sweats, Phoenix sauntered in, a bright smile on her lips, the spider bites at the corner
stretching upward. This time I succeeded in stifling my groan. She flopped onto the couch
beside me and took in my soup slurping.
Soup for breakfast? she asked in a similar tone to Deidras. The maid excused herself
with an armload of my dirty laundry.
I sighed and finished off the last of my defense against an impending cold. I deposited the
bowl on the tray and poured myself a cup of coffee. Gotta stay hydrated.
Just trying not to get sick.
Oh no! Phoenix gathered me into her arms, pressing my face into the pillow of her
breasts. I almost spilled the coffee in my hands. Dont tell me you cant take my pictures
today.
Of course it all came back to her shoot. God forbid Id be too sick to capture her perfection
into a twenty mega pixel digital image.
Im fine. I pushed off her vanilla-scented chest and breathed in normal air.
You sure? she crossed her arms and tilted her head, her all-knowing gaze travelling my
body.
Phoenix. I pinned her with a stern glance.
She deflated and slapped her thighs. Okay, okay. If you say your finebut we can have a
doctor come and check you over just in case.
No! I checked my voice. It had climbed an octave. No need for a doctor. Im fine, really.
She gave me one more skeptical look before switching topics. What are you thinking for
my shoot?
Feeling it was safe again, I picked up my coffee mug and sat back, crossing my legs. I let
the caffeine work its way into my system before I ran through the possibilities. Like images
on a screen, I mentally scanned through the photos Id taken of Phoenix so far. The stage at
Sacrifice. The performance at Crescent City Today. Several candid shots within the manor.
Then my mind went back to the most inappropriate pictures I had of her. I frowned into my
coffee.
Too black?
It took me a second to figure out Phoenix meant the coffee. I shook my head and returned
the cup to the saucer with a clatter. I think I have just the thing for you
Phoenix clapped before I could finish. Whatever it is, Im game.
Why dont you hear me out first before you agree?
Okay. She resettled herself on the couch.
What do you say about boudoir photography?
Like photos in the bedroom?
Mischief quirked my eyebrows. Something along those lines, yes.
Without hesitation, Phoenix jumped out of the couch and headed for the door. Give me a
couple of hours to pull out my best lingerie. I assume you want me with make up on?
Nodding, I said, Ask Calixta for a red lip and dark liner.
Phoenix stopped at the door. Do you want a cats eye?
Sounds good to me. Oh, she stopped at my words, can you bring along as many of the
bands music sheets as you can?
What for?
I have an idea I want to try out.
You got it.
With a sexy grin over her shoulder as if already in character for her shoot, Phoenix
disappeared into the hallway, shutting the door as she went. I should have known nothing
would faze anyone in Vicious. They all seemed game for whatever I wanted. Already,
everything that had happened to me that morning was put in the backburner. Work always
calmed me. I counted on it every time.
I finished the last of my coffee and picked up my camera. I had bedrooms to scout.
Chapter Thirty
Headache
By mid-afternoon, I found the perfect boudoir for the shoot. Located on the third floor, it
boasted a massive four-poster with a tasseled canopy. The thing could fit the whole band plus
their entire entourage. It reminded me of the beds royalty slept in.
The gray light outside from the heavy snow cramped my style, so I called down for all the
candles in the world. I thought theyd take my exaggeration as a joke and bring me ten at the
most. I ended up with fifty candles! How the hell did a household accumulate fifty candles?
In different sizes too. And I suspected if I asked for more, theyd find more.
Then again I reminded myself where I currently lived. Lunar Manor was massive enough
to house five hundred candles. During a power outage, Id say we were covered.
I asked the servants who brought in the candles to spread them out all over the room,
concentrating on the space around the bed. Then I asked them to pull all the heavy drapes
closed. One asked if I wanted help lighting the wicks, and I declined. I found perverse
pleasure in lighting candles. Something about how the yellow flames banished the darkness
and brought the best kind of illumination. Soft light. The kind that made everything seem
sexier than they really were.
Not wanting the servants to feel left out, I asked one to fetch my tripod, another to bring in several
bottles of winesome empty and others still sealed. When he asked me what vintage,
I chortled. I couldnt help it. The Lunar Manor staff took their work very seriously. The last maid I
asked to inform Phoenix where we would be having the shoot.
The candles brought warmth to the room. And some of the scented ones masked the
musty air I crinkled my nose at when Id first discovered the room. It seemed the space
hadnt been used in a while, but the sheets were fresh enough. I asked the servant who
returned with my tripod to turn down the bed while I set up and took some test shots. I
needed the perfect setting if I wanted the boudoir photos to come out just right. Candle light, although
wonderful, wreaked havoc on sensitive digital cameras. For a second I wished for
film. Only for a second.
The servant I asked to fetch the wine bottles returned with a companion carrying wine
glasses and a corkscrew. What service! They anticipated what I needed without my having to
ask. I complimented them both and asked them to scatter the empty bottles in and around
the bed. Like someone had a late night party. They seemed to really understand what Id
meant because the bottles looked naturally discarded when we were done. The ones
unopened I had them position on the bedside table then I had them open one and pour some
into a glass. When one of them handed me the glass, I smiled.
Not for me, I said, shaking my head. Its a prop for the shoot.
Embarrassed pink spread across the guys face. I wanted to give him a hug and tell him he
hadnt done anything wrong. Ah, servants. I found them infinitely cute. How could I return to
the real world now?
I promised myself Id make a buttload of money just so I could have my very own
servants. An assistant at least. All professional photographers had one. The ones that made
money, anyway.
Nodding in satisfaction at the new life goal added to my list, I continued directing the staff.
We moved several candles around depending on my lighting needs. For a while I toyed with
the idea of using lighting kits, but why light all those candles if I went technical in the end?
No, I told myself. Id challenge myself and go with old school light.
We had the set up half-finished when Calixta barged in, pulling a rolling clothes stand
with her. Another servant brought in a folding chair while a second lugged a huge makeup kit.
Shooing away the servants shed brought with her, Calixta laid the suitcase flat on the floor
and flipped the lid. She pulled out several stacked shelves bursting with cosmetics.
For a cats eye and red lip thats a whole lot of beauty products, I commented, crossing
my arms, watching in amazement.
I should have realized the error of my ways when Calixta glared at me. You can never
have enough beauty products. The simplest of makeups take the most work. You know how
hard it is to make someone look naturally beautiful? You have to create a new foundation to
work with!
Oh lord, I sighed out, the beginnings of a headache coming to life in the back of my head.
I shouldnt have said anything.
Raising a perfectly contoured eyebrow, Calixta smirked. I dont tell you how to point and
shoot, do I?
Im not getting myself into this argument. I backed away slowly. Predators were known
to go for the jugular.
You leave the makeup and clothes to me and Ill leave the photos to you. We cool?
Yeah. I moved toward the clothes rack filled with lingerie. Calixta had brought quite a
selection with her. She had corsets and thongs. Matching panty and bra sets. Even garters and
stockings. I scanned through the rack when raised voices drew my attention outside.
The servants in the room with us left immediately, their eyes all on the floor. I didnt ask
them to stay since the set up was complete. I moved away from the clothes rack toward the
door, recognizing Lukas and Phoenixs voices.
You dont want to do that, Calixta warned from behind me.
I paid no attention to her. If Luka and Phoenix argued loud enough for the whole house to
hear, then my coming closer didnt matter much. When I reached the door, I stopped, holding
my breath.
I cant believe youre doing this, Luka said.
And why not? Phoenix challenged. You have no right to tell me what to do.
No. Luka sucked in a breath. But I can share my opinion.
Oh yeah! Well, better keep your opinion to yourself. Im doing this, Luka, whether you
agree with it or not. Were not your little toys to play with when it suits your purposes.
Thats not what you are to me. You know that.
It sure feels that way. A pause then, Will you leave me alone? For the first time in my
life Im doing something that makes me feel confident and, God forbid, happy. You have no
right to mess with that.
The headache at the back of my head moved forward. Phoenixs screeching wasnt helping
matters. I gritted my teeth to keep from reaching up and massaging my forehead.
Youre right, Luka said. I dont have any rights here anymore.
Luka, she whispered.
No. No. Do what you want.
Footsteps receded followed by stomping heading toward the room Calixta and I stood in.
Seconds later, Phoenix burst in wearing a silk robe and curlers in her hair. She slumped into
the makeup chair, not noticing me at the door or Calixta still kneeling over her mountain of
cosmetics. Covering her face, she breathed in deeply.
I swallowed. The silence had gotten heavy really fast and it made my skin itch. It needed to
be broken so I asked, What was that about?
Phoenix sat up and smiled. Her lower lip wobbled slightly but she rallied by saying, This
is gorgeous, Dakota!
You could have at least given me some light to work with, Calixta grumbled from the
floor.
I didnt ask you to do her makeup here, I spat back before returning my attention to
Phoenix. Dont dodge my question. Everyone heard that blow out. Might as well spill. Does it
have something to do with the shoot?
Phoenix shook her head so hard one of the curlers fell off. Calixta tsked, catching the thing
as it bounced toward her.
Lukas just being Luka. Phoenix shrugged a little too hard. He can be a pain in the ass
when he decides to be too controlling. Dont worry about it.
From the lightness in Phoenixs tone, I wouldnt have caught the finality in her words if
not for her pointed stare. I pursed my lips at the loudness of the period in her last sentence and turned
my focus on the shoot. If she didnt want to share then who was I to ask for
further clarification? In less than two weeks, Id be out of here.
Where are the music sheets?
Oh, theyre on their way. Phoenix tilted her chin up as Calixta stood over her with a
bottle of foundation and a brush.
An hour later, I had Phoenix sprawled on the bed in a lacey black garter set. I looked at her
through the lens as she rolled on her stomach and kicked up her stockinged feet. The test
shots were looking good. The candle light danced down her tumble of wavy hair. I let Calixta
stay, allowing her to adjust the makeup and clothing as needed. Hell if Id give myself
permission to adjust Phoenixs breastage for proper effect.
The room grew warmer for some reason. I fanned myself when I asked, Hows the
temperature?
Phoenix didnt seem to be sweating, even when I zoomed in on her. And when she said she
was fine, I nodded, taking a deep breath. The headache Id been feeling pounded along the
walls of my head now. It was like I had lightning in my brain. Sweat covered my forehead. I
batted at it with tissue from the box Calixta had on hand.
You okay? Calixta whispered when she passed me.
Yeah, I breathed out. Just a little warm in here. I concentrated on the scene set up I
had in mind. Will you lie on your back with your head toward the foot of the bed? Yes, thats
perfect. I moved away from the camera and grabbed a stack of music sheets. Okay, Im
going to need you to remove your bra.
Phoenix complied, tossing the lace aside without an ounce of shyness. Well, considering I
had a set of photos of her and Demitri heating up my laptop, I didnt expect her to feel self-
conscious now. I rained down the music sheets on her and she giggled.
Stay still, I admonished, swiping my hand across the sweat on my top lip. My skin felt
warm and clammy at the same time to the touch.
Are you feeling alright? Phoenix frowned when she looked up at me.
Im fine. I attempted a smile, but the jackhammers in my head wouldnt let me. Calixta,
can you hand me more of the sheets?
Without complaint, the makeup artist did so and we tossed paper onto Phoenix until her
body was covered with them.
Okay, I returned behind my camera, I want to you hug the sheets to your body like they
are Demitri. Good, just like that. Then pull your legs up so I see your knees. Stop, thats
perfect. Now, let your head fall over the end of the bed. Calixta, can you
I didnt have to finish my sentence. Calixta gathered Phoenixs hair in her hands and let
the lush strands cascade over the end of the bed.
Perfect. I positioned myself behind the viewfinder, my finger ready at the trigger. Okay,
Phoenix, I want you to look at me from upside down. Yes, tilt your head back. I began
releasing the shutter. Good, good. Now think of Demitri making love to you. Yes, moan if
you want to.
Like a professional model, Phoenix held on to the music sheets like they were her lover,
which was what I was going for. I snapped a couple more shots of her in ecstasy. Then I asked
Calixta to rain more sheets over Phoenix. Like she was about to orgasm, Phoenix arched her
back up and parted her lips.
My breathing came hard and ragged now. Not that I was in any way turned on by the
woman making love to sheets of paper on the bed. Sweat trickled down the side of my face.
My vision blurred. I had to blink several times to clear it. I licked at my lips, my throat
suddenly parched. A shiver went through my body. My hand fell from my camera.
Light-headed, I bent over, hands on my knees, concentrating on taking in as much air as I
could to dissipate the furnace my lungs had become.
Dakota? Calixta bent over me.
I just need to close my eye a second. A wave of nausea hit me, twisting my stomach like a
pretzel.
Are you sure youre alright? Phoenix asked from the other side of me. It must have been
her hand rubbing circles on my back because I couldnt imagine Calixta being that
compassionate.
Im fine, really. No sooner did the words fall out of my mouth that my world tilted at a
bad angle and everything around me went black. Dimly, I heard someone scream then
nothing.
Chapter Thirty-One
Fever
I went in and out of consciousness. Floating just above the darkness before falling back
down again. My body burned inside and out. But no matter how hot I thought I got, cold
sweat dotted my skin. Shivers rolled up and down my torso and every time I tried to breathe,
something ragged reached my ears. I struggled against something I didnt know. In the
distance I heard faint voices speaking in a rhythmic patternlike chanting. But as soon as I
latched on to the idea I fell back into the icky abyss.
During my moments of partial lucidity, I caught snippets of conversation. One in
particular was a heated argument concerning my care. Apparently, someone refused to leave
my room no matter how many people begged. I tumbled back into the blackness before I
caught the tail end of the argument. I had no idea who won.
The good thing about the darkness? No dreams. I swam in a pit of nothing. No images. For
a time, I fought to wake up, bored out of my skull. I had work to do, pictures to take. I
couldnt spend all this time laid up, yet no matter how hard I struggled to swim toward the
surface, something always pulled me back down.
At one point, I thought the prick on my arm would help. I moaned, but no one came to my
rescue. The shaking stopped gradually after the prick. My breathing eased. Pretty soon, my
lungs werent in flames anymore. I calmed significantly too, not fighting to wake up as badly.
I figured it would only be a matter of time until I opened my eyes. So I waited. And waited.
When I reached a point where I could wait no longer, a soft touch on my forehead helped
me swim the last few yards to the surface. My eyelid fluttered open to a blurred vision of
someone sitting by my body. The warm fingers kept stroking, smoothing away the hair that
fell over my forehead.
Did I wake you? an equally soft voice asked.
I rubbed my eye to clear my sight then reached for my patch. A sigh filled with relief flew
out of my lips when my fingertips met familiar velvet. My vision cleared enough to recognize
the lead singer of Vicious sitting on the edge of my bed. She smiled warmly down at me. I
tried to smile back, but the sudden awareness of the soreness in my throat prevented me.
Dont worry, she said. He threatened to fire the doctor if your patch was ever removed.
Gutsy move since the Doc was the one who supervised when his mother gave birth to him.
Who? My scratchy voice made me grimace. It felt like I swallowed sand. I licked my dry
lips and test swallowed only to moan in pain. Ack! Not good.
Phoenix pointed at something beyond my field of vision. I turned my head toward the side
of my room. There in a corner slept Luka on a reading chair. A purple afghan covered the
upper half of his body. He had his long legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles, and his head rested
against the wall on a pillow.
Luka, I whispered. Yes, whispering strained my throat less. Meaning less pain.
You scared us when you collapsed at the photo shoot, Phoenix whispered with me.
I stared at Lukas peacefully sleeping form for a second longer. He mustnt have been
comfortable in that position, yet he slept soundly. His golden curls formed a messy halo on
his head. I would have chuckled at how adorable he looked if my throat wouldnt stage a
protest.
From the lack of light outside, it must have been late at night. But I couldnt be sure. For
all I knew, it was closest to dawn. I read somewhere that the darkest part of the night was just before
the sunrise. Sighing, I returned my attention to the concerned knot on Phoenixs
forehead.
If you frown like that youll get wrinkles, I teased.
She patted her cheeks then stretched the skin at the sides of her eyes. Oh gosh! Do you
think I need botox already?
The panic in her question begged me to shake my head. You look good.
So, she huffed, folding her hands on her lap. She had her legs crossed as well, balancing
at the edge of my mattress by half an ass. Do you remember what happened to you?
I shook my head. I remember taking your picture then nothing.
At first you were sweating really hard then your breathing sounded really bad. You bent
over. Thats when Calixta and I came over, asking you if you were fine.
I think, I swallowed. Pin pricks met the constriction of my throat muscles. Okay, not
doing that for a while. I think I remember that part.
Yeah, and then you collapsed. You were running such a high fever. At one point we
thought we might have to airlift you to a hospital. Phoenix deflated with her sigh. Luka
insisted we bring in the Doc first. When he checked you over you were already delirious. He
hooked you up to a special cocktail we use while on tour when we get sick.
That doesnt sound good.
Its just a mix of vitamins and antibiotics. She slapped a hand in the air at me. The Doc
said if the cocktail didnt bring your fever down then wed have to bring you to a hospital. I came in
here to check on you and it seems like your fevers gone, so youre out of the woods.
The Doc will be by again today to give a final assessment.
The question I dreaded to ask slipped out. How long have I been out?
Just a couple of days.
A strength I didnt know I had propelled me to sit up. A couple of days?
Phoenix shushed me when Luka snorted and pushed me back down on the bed none too
gently. That was when I noticed the IV connected to my right arm. Huh, so the prick hadnt
been a hallucination after all.
Calm down, will you? she hiss-whispered at me. The Doc says if you overtax yourself
youll get sick again. Do you want to lose more time than you already have?
The threat of returning to the darkness calmed me down more than the actual request.
Ever notice that when someone asked you to calm down it was the last thing you wanted to
do? It happened to me. I wanted to leap out of bed, grab my camera and start taking pictures.
Of what, I had no idea. But if what Phoenix said was true, then I couldnt afford staying in bed longer
than I had to. The faster I healed, the sooner I could get back to work on my project.
How the hell could I let myself get sick? Oh yeah, I was out of my mind when I took a mostly-
naked run through the snow-covered forest.
Lukas been here the whole time? I switched subjects, unable to do anything else.
Phoenix glanced at Luka. Yeah. It seemed the more we begged him to go back to his room
and get proper rest the more stubborn he got. Hes practically living in your room, hardly
eating and totally not leaving. I dont even remember the last time he showered.
The blond scruff he sported on his jaw affirmed her claims. Luka had stayed with me.
Could he have been feeling guilty? He was the only one who knew the reason why I got sick.
Hell, if he hadnt tied me to the bed in a misguided attempt at sexual seduction, I wouldnt
have an IV sticking out of my arm. Ouch, by the way. Now that I was awake, I felt the needle
inside my vein.
Serves him right, I said, feeling superior. If he wanted a neck crick then he deserved it.
Luka can be protective, but Id never seem him like this.
Something in Phoenixs voice baffled me. She sounded far away, like she wasnt talking to
me when she spoke. It didnt help that she kept her gaze on Luka the entire time she told me
about his morphed sense of protectiveness. Maybe I knew the reason, but I wasnt about to
share my mini mental breakdown with someone I barely knew outside of the biblical sense.
I had to change the topic again. So if Id been out two days then
Phoenix returned to herself. Todays Christmas Eve.
My heart sputtered. I had six days left and I still needed Lukas pictures. Ugh! Getting sick
sucked balls. Wheres my stuff?
Luka had your camera and tripod sent here. Its currently sitting on your desk with your
laptop. She tilted her head toward the living room. And dont worry. Luka threatened bodily
harm toward anyone who dared peek at your photos. He even slapped Drays hand away when
he reached for your laptop.
The mental image of Dray cradling his slapped hand to his chest with guilty puppy dog
eyes got me giggling. To hell with the sore throat. Some of my hate for Luka melted away.
Even if his actions possibly came from a place of guilt over what hed done, it still didnt
discount how sweet hed been. That was if I could trust everything Phoenix was telling me.
She didnt seem like someone whod mess with my head. Plus, why would she lie when the
evidence slept a few yards away.
Feeling the call of nature, I pushed up gently as to not startle Phoenix into tackling me
back down. Her suddenly wide-eyed expression told me she was preparing to do just that. I
raised a hand to stop her.
I need to take a piss.
Oh. Her lips formed a cute O. Yeah, I guess after being in bed for a couple of days, youd
really need the bathroom. She stood up and reached out to help me.
Just as I swung my legs over the side of the bed, a different set of hands cradled my
shoulders. I looked up to find Lukas face hovering close to mine. A tilt of the chin was all I needed
to touch my lips with his. Whoa! Scruffy Luka equaled seriously hot Luka.
Ill take it from here, he said to Phoenix.
I can help her. Im a girl, she insisted.
I dont need anyones help. Thank you very much, I whispered, conserving my already
pissed throat.
What happens if she feels dizzy and passes out? Luka kept talking as if I hadnt said
anything. Can you lift her back to bed?
I can call you for that. I heard the pout in Phoenixs sentence.
Then it doesnt matter if I help her now. Just go back to bed, Phoenix. Youre not needed
here anymore.
Um, I raised my hand to catch their attention, Excuse me, but I really have to go.
They both blinked at me like Id confused them or something. Unable to take it anymore, I
used Lukas shoulder to lever myself up. My knees wobbled. God, being in bed for two days
fucked up my system. My depth perception was shot too! I hated myself for a second as Luka
wrapped his arm around my waist and slung my arm over his shoulder. He pulled the IV
stand toward me.
You can use this for balance, he said right as Phoenix whirled around and stomped out of
my room. A door slam immediately followed.
For a second I forgot I needed to pee. Two days without a shower didnt tarnish Lukas
tantalizing scent. In fact, days without bathing merely enhanced it.
Ready? he asked after I took a deep breath.
The question knocked me back into the present. Hurry.
He plastered me to his side and practically carried me to the bathroom along with the IV
stand. Our movements reminded me of a three-legged race where the partner supported most
of the weight of the other, effectively cheating. Once in the bathroom, he positioned me over
the toilet and reached for the waistband of my sweats. How I got into them, I didnt want to
know.
I slapped his hands away. Excuse me! I can take it from here, mister.
Smiling at me ruefully, Luka scratched the back of his head. Yeah, I guess you can. He
sauntered toward the sliding doors. Ill be right outside if you need me. Call if you get dizzy.
Youll probably just hear a very loud thump.
He frowned at my joke. Not funny.
Luka? He stopped. Thank you for keeping an eye on me.
Just He tsked. Just dont scare me like that again.
Ill do that. I made a shooing motion with my hand. Now go away.
Treating me to a sexy grin over his shoulder, Luka pulled the doors shut. I sat on the toilet
thinking how in the hell could I think of the perfect photo shoot for the most complicated
person ever?
I shouldnt have left him for last.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Workaholic
Two hours of severe guilt-tripping later, I had convinced Luka to let me work in bed. He
grudgingly propped three pillows behind my back and fetched my laptop and camera. I
grinned the whole time.
Oh, stop it, he said at one point, an adorable pout on his lips.
What? I love having my own personal slave, I commented back, waiting for my computer
to boot. I talked no higher than a whisper. Now that Id relieved myself, my aching throat and muscles
didnt seem so bad. Plus, I got to work again. Contrary to popular belief, work
actually relaxed me more than staying idle.
Dont get used to it. He slumped into his reading slash sleeping chair and massaged the
back of his neck.
You didnt have to stay, you know.
I know. But thats not stopping me.
Why, Luka Visraya? A wicked grin pulled at my lips. Are you actually willing to suffer a
stiff neck for me?
The heat in his eyes said yes. I didnt like it. My grin disappeared as soon as it came. I
busied myself transferring images from my cameras memory card to my hard drive. I hoped
to God I got the pictures I wanted from Phoenixs shoot before I passed outespecially the
last set. Those were the best as far as I could recall. My brain still felt fuzzy in several places.
The IV on my arm didnt bother me much anymore. It itched, but not as badly. Immensely
thankful for that. I could type and fiddle with pictures without worrying about it coming off.
Since Im clearly feeling better, why dont you go take a shower? I said to my screen.
Sick of me already? he challenged.
I didnt look up. Just the way you smell. Okay, total lie, but I had to get him out of here.
No matter how smexy scruffy Luka looked, I wanted an hour or two to myself.
The chair creaked. Five seconds and his hand touched my forehead. I jerked away, caught
unawares by the action. He frowned down at me while I glared.
Im just checking if you still have a fever.
Phoenix already did that. I sighed. Luka, look, I appreciate you being all mother hen
here, but Ive survived worse on my own. Please, go take a shower and leave me alone. I
promise not to move from this bed until you come back.
He considered my words. At least let me order you some breakfast.
Checking my throat by swallowing, I moaned when the pain hit. I dont think my throat
would appreciate food right now.
How about coffee and some yogurt? No chewing involved and both can slide down easily.
My stomach jumped for joy at the suggestion. I guess I could use some coffee.
Given a task, Luka nodded and padded out of my bedroom. Relief washed over me. His
ginormous presence literally sucked the air in the room. Now that he was gone, it felt lighter.
Not that having him around was a bad thing. I just didnt like how aware I got around him. I
didnt need pesky shivers and quivers right now. Or any time soon. I had to scramble for a
photo concept starring Luka.
Your breakfast is coming up in five minutes. Luka peeked in from the living room. He
rubbed the stubble along his razor jaw. Ill take you up on that shower and be back in an
hour.
I waved him away without removing my gaze from the screen. Take your time. Ill be
fine.
After the door closed, my mind immediately went through the weeks schedule. Yana had
given everyone a list of things happening. The band would be attending the industry
Christmas party tonight. I almost melted. A whole night to myself. I couldnt wait. I still had the
pictures to frame and wrap. Not having Luka snooping around would definitely make the
process easier. I was supposed to get it done after Phoenixs shoot, but that never happened,
now did it? Stupid mega cold.
Christmas morning involved a breakfast and opening of presents. It actually said in the
schedule: Nine to ten, opening of presents. New Years Eve preparations took up the rest of
the days leading up to the event. I planned on staying out of the waytaking pictures in the
background, of course. A manor as big as Lunar would look magnificent dressed up for a
party. I wondered for a second what the place looked like now. Maybe when the band left for
the party tonight I could sneak out and explore. I wanted to see the Christmas tree and
decorations and not even being hooked up to an IV would stop me.
In the blessed silence, I scanned through the gallery of photos, barely breathing. Please let the
pictures be there, I repeated over and over. I reached the end of the screen and a big breath burst out
of my lungs. The ones I wanted popped out. Yes!
The door to my quarters opened then shut. I looked up expecting Luka only to be face to
face with Deidra. A deep valley of concern formed between her gray eyebrows.
Are you feeling better, Miss? She shuffled closer, a tray of my coffee and yogurt in her
hands.
Better than fine, I said. She grimaced at my scratchy voice. Havent you had a sore
throat before?
She deposited the tray on the bedside table and poured me a cup. No.
Really?
I dont make it a habit of getting sick.
I pursed my lips, taking the steaming cup with a dash of sugar and milk swirling in the
dark liquid smelling of heaven. It made sense a maid wouldnt want to get sick. Deidras job
asked a lot of her and getting sick would definitely make work an awful experience. Id had to cover
a game with allergies once. Let me tell you, keeping the camera steady while sneezing
was an achievement in itself. I took a sip of the coffee. The hot liquid became the balm my
throat needed. I hummed in pleasure.
Well, as you can see, Im sitting up and working. Whatevers in this IV cocktail they have
me hooked up to is working miracles.
Deidra nodded like she agreed with whomever I referenced. The Doc is the best at what
he does. You were in good hands from the start. I will make a call and let him know you are
awake. Would you like me to draw you up a bath?
A bath sounded heavenly. Will the Doc allow it?
Well see what he says after he checks on you, but I believe hell allow it. Deidra excused
herself.
My body tingled at the promise of a bath. I hadnt seen myself in the mirror, even when I
went to relieve myself. I must look a fright. The hair matted to the back of my head said so.
Two blessed cups of coffee and a bowl of tangy yogurt later, a man in an expensive suit and
a meticulously groomed goatee stepped into my bedroom. He had kind blue eyes and an easy
smile. In his left hand he carried a black doctors bag.
Good morning, Dakota, he greeted with the same accent Luka and the rest of the band
possessed except for Phoenix. He set his bag on the space the tray didnt take up on the table.
I am Doctor Igor Petrovski. Mostly they call me
The Doc, I interrupted.
He chuckled and nodded. How are you feeling today? He stood by my bed and checked
on the IV before reaching for my wrist. He stared at his watch while checking my pulse.
Seeing as I was out for two days, so much better. I wasnt being sarcastic at all. Honest.
He grinned at me. I see you have a biting sense of humor. He released my wrist and took
out a stethoscope from inside his bag. Sit up please.
I did as I was told, setting my laptop aside. He blew on the scope before touching it against
my chest. I took a couple of deep breaths when he asked then he moved the scope to my back
and we repeated the process.
Your lungs are clear, which is good. I can rule out pneumonia. But if they hadnt called
me, you might as well have expected that diagnosis. He fished out a tongue depressor and a
penlight.
Knowing the drill, I stuck my tongue out and said, Ah!
Good. He threw the spent depressor into the trashcan beside my bed I hadnt noticed
until hed used it. I expect your throat will be sore for most of the morning, but it will
subside once the IV bag is spent. I believe you have three more hours and then we can
remove the needle.
My second relieved breath of the day came from his positive words. The news of the IV
coming off alone made me feel a hundred times better.
Thank you, Doc.
My pleasure. He rummaged through his bag and pulled out a pack of lozenges. You are a
fighter. I like fighters. Here. I took the pack from him. Honey lemon, yum. Take one every
four hours to help with your throat for the rest of the day. If you dont overtax yourself until tomorrow
and get a good nights sleep, I dont see why you shouldnt make a full recovery
come Christmas morning.
Best Christmas gift ever. I smiled up at him, already taking out a yellow lozenge and
popping it into my mouth. My throat thanked me profusely.
Charming her already, Doc? Luka leaned against one of my bedroom doors with his arms
crossed. Newly shaven and damp hair combed away from his face. Suddenly, my tongue felt
three times its size inside my mouth. I moved the lozenge around. My distraction had arrived
fresh from his shower.
Just doing my job. The Doc packed up his stuff. I will be in the manor until her IV is
removed. Call me if a fever spikes.
Thank you, Doc, I said, glaring at Luka the whole time. He kept his gaze on the other
man as he walked out of my room. When the door closed behind him, I said, Do you want to
pee around my bed just to let all other males know this is your territory?
He wrinkled his nose at me. Too messy. Id rather be doing this. In three quick strides,
he had his hand around the back of my neck and his tongue inside my mouth. I sucked in a
deep breath at the intrusion and was treated to his signature scent. Id only closed my eyes a second
and he was already pulling away. I didnt know whether to be disappointed or happy.
Mmm, I always liked the honey lemon ones.
I searched my mouth. Hey! Thats my lozenge.
Well, its mine now.
Gross! A total lie, but he didnt need to know that. Arent you afraid of getting sick?
He returned to his chair in the corner. If it helps me get out of tonights party, Ill take it.
Then he shrugged. Unfortunately for me, the Doc says youre not contagious anymore. The
IV cocktail will do that.
Do I even want to know whats in this thing? I grabbed my camera and took a picture of
the yellow liquid inside the half-full bag.
Why would you want to? Think of it this wayyoure eating something exotic and its
really good. Would you still want to know what it is?
I guess not, I grumbled, popping another lozenge into my mouth. Since I wasnt even
halfway through the first one, I didnt think there would be any side-effects in taking another one so
soon.
Miss Dakota, Deidra said by my door, the Doc says you can take a bath. Would you like
me to fill the tub?
Yes, Deidra, thank you.
A bath? Lukas eyebrow quirked.
Oh no, youre not! I shook my finger at him. Deidras the only one allowed in that
bathroom with me.
He snorted and sank lower into the chair. If you say so.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Bargain
Steam and the sweet scent of jasmine hitched a ride to my lungs, warming my insides in a
good way. I thanked Deidra for drawing the bath for me and shooed her away only to call her
back in again when I realized I couldnt get my shirt off. The IV on my arm got in the way.
With a hint of I told you so in her eyes, Deidra reentered the bathroom, unhooked the IV
from the stand, and slipped it carefully inside the armhole of my shirt. She managed to keep a straight
face for the most part until we reached the scars on my abdomen. An unmistakable
hiss escaped her tight lips.
The lightness in the air shifted. Deidra flicked her gaze at me. I knew a questioning glance
when I saw one. In less than a month, two people had seen my scars. I hid the tumble of my
stomach by grinning.
Long story, I said simply.
The frown on Deidras face never eased. A deep valley formed between her eyebrows, and I
wanted to comfort her. Tell her everything was alright. But I hardly knew her. What could I
say that wouldnt sound disingenuous?
Thankfully, the argument emanating from my living room distracted us. I grabbed a towel
from the rack and wrapped it around my body. I still had on underwear, but I didnt feel like
listening in on the conversation half-naked.
Tugging the IV stand and moving closer to the sliding doors, I heard Yana say something
about a party. I immediately connected it to the one the band had to attend tonight. Luka
replied, but his voice didnt carry into the bathroom. I sucked my teeth, tempted to pull aside one of
the doors a crack. Yana shrieked, quickly followed by a slammed door. This happened a
lot in the Visraya household. I secured the towel tight around me and gave in to sliding the
door open.
What was that about? I asked a heavily breathing Luka. It seemed he barely kept himself
from blowing a gasket. Tucking my hair behind my ear, I continued. Are you torturing Yana
again by being an ass?
He ran a trembling hand through his already disheveled curls. Im not going to the party
tonight. That was Yana showing her displeasure.
And why not?
Because you need me here.
Says who? The IV comes off in a couple of hours. After my bath Ill feel more human
again, I told him with a level stare. I know my throat doesnt make it seem so, but Im really feeling
so much better. The cocktail the Doc has me on is working miracles. Plus, a night
without you here would do me some good, I think.
He faced me with those intense eyes of his. Dont say that. You dont mean it.
I sighed, feeling bad for him a bit. I do mean it. You should man up and face your
responsibilities, Luka. Im here because of my responsibilities to myself and my future. You
hovering wont change things. Go to the party.
Of course, I didnt add the fact that I needed time to wrap up all their presents. Having
Luka around would put a damper on the surprise factor. And I wanted to explore the manor.
Deidra told me the Christmas decorations were especially magnificent this year. Like a kid
excited to go to the zoo, I had to see for myself what the holidays at Lunar Manor looked like.
Lukas stubborn refusal brought me back to our pointless conversation. I tilted my head
and smirked, If I wasnt here, what would you have done?
The break in his intensity said Id gotten him there. Id be at the party.
Then this conversation is over. I have Deidra with me and a host of other servants. The
Doc is here too. Id say Im pretty much covered for one night.
Luka crossed his arms and dropped his gaze, seeming to consider my rationale. A mini-
cheer bounced around in my brain. But just when a triumphant smile spread across my lips,
Lukas next words proved Id celebrated too soon. I should have caught the devilish grin.
Damn.
Ill go to the party He paused, hitting me with a mischievous stare. I swallowed,
dreading what was to come next. If you let me bathe you.
My knees knocked together so hard I wouldnt have been able to stand without the IV
stand supporting some of my weight. The inside of my mouth dried up, making it hard to
speak. But I managed an: Excuse me?
You heard me. He took a predatory step forward, dropping his hands to his sides. Let me
bathe you and I will go to the party.
Yup, that was what he said. I just needed to hear it again to ascertain the insanity of the
bargain.
Lifting my chin, I said, I dont negotiate with terrorists.
Luka chuckled. The sensually deep sound set my insides aflutter. Then I guess Im
staying in for the night.
Groaning, I closed my eye and thought about my options. Luka staying meant Id be stuck
in my room all day and night. The presents wouldnt get wrapped and the exploration of the
manor was as good as cancelled. If I let Luka bathe methe thought practically short-
circuited my brain function. Soap and his hands on my body? Oh God. The flutters turned
into quivers and goose bumps. I forced myself to focus. If I let him do what he wanted, Id get the
house to myself.
How bad could letting Luka bathe me be?
The question became my downfall.
Shaking my head, I opened my eye and said, You may go, Deidra. Luka can take things
from here.
The gleam of victory in Lukas blue eyes made me want to throw something at him.
Instead, I gripped the stand tighter. Without question, Deidra skirted past me and exited my
room. So much for having an ally. Why would a servant stand up to the master of the manor?
I couldnt blame her. Luka seemed like the type who didnt take crap from anyonebut me,
apparently.
Head down, I stepped aside and let Luka into the bathroom. I shut the sliding doors to
keep the steam inside. Let me make things clear, this is just a sponge bath, nothing else.
He hooked a finger between my breasts and undid the towel, ignoring my gasp. I had no
idea why, but having Luka in the bathroom made me conscious of my half-naked state. Hed
already done several highly sexual things to me, and yet right now, I felt the urge to cover
myself. I searched his eyes for any hint of desire and found none. Huh.
Luka pushed up the sleeves of his sweater before he turned me around so my back faced
him. Then he unclasped my bra. I reached up to hide my breasts only to have my arm drop
again because he slipped the bra strap down. He unhooked the IV from the stand and
threaded it out of my other strap. Returning the IV onto the stand with one hand, he dropped
my bra into the hamper with the other.
I can do this part. I slipped my thumbs inside my waistband, but Lukas hands stopped
me from pushing the panties down.
His breath reached my earlobe when he said, Let me. You dont have to do anything. Just
relax.
Yeah right. As if that was going to happen. A delicious shiver rattled down my spine as he
pulled the last of my clothing down. I couldnt mistake the slow glide of his fingertips along my legs.
Damn weasel. He enjoyed undressing me way too much.
Taking my hand, he guided me toward the claw foot tub. When I first saw it, I didnt think
Id ever use it in this capacity. I could see the headlines now. Bassist of Super Group Vicious Bathes
Photographer. The internet would explode. Id be the most envied and despised
woman in the world. Did not relish that idea.
Luka dipped his fully ringed hand into the tub, checking the temperature. The water could
be boiling for all I cared. I wanted the bath way too much. Without waiting for any signal
which I suspected he would give any second nowI used Lukas shoulder for support and
stepped into the tub. The water was fucking perfect. Luka took my hand and guided me down.
His forehead resembled an accordion. So he didnt like my impulsive tub hopping ways, huh?
Well, tough!
I groaned as the water cocooned my body in wonderful warmth. In seconds, I felt the rest
of my sickness melt away. Nearly a foot of bubbles covered me, assuaging my worries of
being exposed. Okay, kinda too late since Luka had already seen me naked, but still. The
blanket of bubbles let me maintain some modicum of modesty.
Positioning himself behind me, Luka filled a tiny golden bucket with water and rained its
contents over my head. Lean back, he said.
He didnt have to tell me twice. I scooted deeper into the tub that could easily fit two and
leaned my head over the side. Youll get wet.
I can easily change.
I stopped caring when he massaged shampoo into my head. His kneading fingers coaxed a
moan from my already healing throat. As much as I hated to admit it, Luka was right. I let go
of all my worries and enjoyed the feeling of getting clean. My body relaxed with the closing of my
eye.
Lukas heavenly scalp massage continued when he asked, Hows the pressure?
Mmm, was all I could manage, lost in the yummy goodness. It was all I could do to keep
my arms balanced at the edges of the tub on either side of me. Id never been one for spa
treatments, but Lukas expert fingers made me rethink the possibility.
I growled my displeasure when the kneading stopped. Luka chuckled under his breath as
he rinsed off my hair. His lovely fingers returned seconds later with what I assumed was
conditioner. Apparently, being the bassist of Vicious made for limber fingers. I did not want
him to stop.
Already half-asleep when Luka finished with my head, I couldnt find myself to protest
when a sponge meandered along my body. He began at my shoulders, using his callused
thumb once in a while to untie a knot of muscle there. My moan was positively animalistic at
this point. Any concerns Id had about Luka bathing me moved farther and farther into the
recesses of my mind. He had me in such a blissed out state that I didnt even mind when the
sponge lingered on my breasts, teasing the nipples into hard pebbles.
When he asked me to bend my legs, I didnt question him. Of course I had to because how
else could Luka reach them from his vantage point. It didnt even occur to me that he could
have shifted further along the tub instead of staying right behind me. His arms were long
enough. I couldnt be bothered with semantics. The soapy sponge travelling leisurely up and
down my legs was all that mattered. I didnt even mind that by now Luka kneeled so close
behind me that my head rested against his chest.
He returned the sponge to my abdominal area, easing the tense muscles there. I hadnt
realized Id been clenching until he rubbed lazy circles around and around my navel. Soon
fingertips replaced the sponge.
My breath hitched when they traveled across my sea of scars. Lukas middle finger traced
the biggest of them. It might as well be the road that led to the one place begging to be
touched since this crazy sponge bath started.
Luka traced the seam of my sex. My hips jerked in surprise.
Shhh, he breathed into my ear. Let me make you feel good. He parted my slick folds
and circled his middle finger against my clit. I gasped, reaching for his shoulder and grabbing a fistful
of his sweater.
Using his second and forth fingers to part me further, Luka glided his middle finger from
base to peak, teasing panting moans from me. I kept my eye closed the whole time, all my
senses focused on what was happening below my waist. Jasmine mixed with Lukas scent
each time I inhaled.
I whimpered the second Luka inserted the middle finger he used to torture me with into
me. My inner muscles clenched around the intrusion. He pushed in and out then added a
second finger. Couple that with his thumb rubbing against my pulsing mound and it equaled
a scream, the pain in my throat completely forgotten.
Thats it, he encouraged, stepping up the pace hed set. My pelvis moved to receive his
fingers as deeply as they would go. I needed more. I craved it. The familiar pressure built,
stealing my already quickening breaths.
Thats it, Dakota.
Inch by incredible inch I climbed, allowing Luka to take me higher and higher. Id lost all
feeling in the fingers clutching the side of the tub and the ones crumpling his sweater. I was close. Oh
so close. Water splashed to the floor from the hungry movement of my body. I felt
no shame. No guilt. I greedily took what he deemed to give.
And just when my insides became a tight coil ready for release, Luka added a third finger
in me. I cried out at the stretch. With a flick of his wrist, he twisted the fingers he had inside me and
pushed his thumb against my center. Time stopped. My breath froze in my lungs.
Then I tumbled into sweet oblivion.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Decorations
I woke up dressed and alone in my bed hours later, judging from the orange sunlight
slanting into my room. The IV had been removed and there was no sign of Luka anywhere. I
pushed up and stared at the cotton stuck to my arm by medical tape. It had a small brownish
dot at the center.
Picking at the tape, I removed the cotton and threw it into the trashcan left by my bed.
Besides a small round scab, nothing remained of my downtime due to exposure. My throat
hardly ached when I tested a swallow.
No other aches surfaced when I did a mental check. My muscles were relaxed, and I
actually felt good for the first time in months. All warm and cozy. Huh. What wonders a good
orgasm brought.
I gazed down at the Wexler T-shirt I woke up in then hooked my finger on the collar. He
even put a bra on me. After I passed out he took care of everything. The grin that pulled at my lips
distracted me from my flaming blush. The last of my anger for what hed done melted
away. I never really liked holding on to a grudge anyway. I had seven days left to complete my
project. If I let Lukas mistakes continue to affect me, I would never get the pictures I needed from
him. Once I left Lunar Manor we would go our separate ways and I wouldnt have to see
him in person anymore. A part of me actually looked forward to that. Yana was right when
she first told me about the craziness in Lunar Manor breaking people. If I werent under
contract, I would have left the morning Luka tied me to the bed. Another part of me
wondered how returning to the real world would feel. I couldnt deny my attraction to Luka.
Besides the physical, he had his sweet moments. That was the reason why he got away with
half the things hed put me through. How deep that attraction was exactly, I had no idea, and
didnt care to explore. It wouldnt do me any good to obsess. The end of this year marked the
end of my relationship with Vicious. I wanted to make the best of the last few days I had left.
Galvanized by a renewed sense of motivation, I pushed aside the comforter and slid out of
bed. I popped another lozenge into my mouth then padded to the dresser. Id pulled on jeans
and a shirt when the door to my room opened.
Luka? I called, a creeping blush surprising me.
No, Miss, Deidras voice reached my ears before I saw her come in with another tray.
My blush intensified when her gaze raked over me. She must have had an idea of what
Luka did after hed asked to bathe me. I was pretty sure I had sexually satisfied stamped all over
me.
Yanking the hem of my shirt down extra hard to keep all my bits covered, I shifted my
weight from foot to foot. Did the band leave for the party already?
Deidra nodded, setting the tray on the coffee table. I brought you some sandwiches. You
must be hungry for more than yogurt.
Whats with the formality? I forced myself to ask, suddenly defensive. I was a grown
woman with needs. If those needs were suddenly met by a sexy rock star then so be it. I
wouldnt stand for blatant judgment. If this has something to do with Luka
Those scars, Deidra cut me off, leveling a serious stare at my abdomen like she had X-ray
vision.
Oh. I pulled at the hem of my shirt again. I take it this has nothing to do with
She shook her head. What you and the Master do is your business. But I cant stand by
and feel alright about what Ive seen. What happened to you?
For the first time since Id met Deidra, she dropped the servants veil that kept her apart
from me. I felt her concern from all the way across the room. Uncomfortable by her stare, I
reached behind my head to make sure my patch stayed secure.
Shit happens, I said, not quite meeting her gaze.
Yes. She folded her hands in front of her. Yes, it does. I apologize for stepping over the
line.
Little by little, I felt the veil coming up again. Not wanting for a wall to be between us, I
moved forward until I had Deidra in my arms. She gasped at my hug, not moving. We stood
that way for a while.
You can hug me back, you know.
It took her a couple of seconds, but eventually her arms wrapped around me. Servants
arent allowed to interact this way with their employers.
Well, good thing Im not your employer and right now youre not a servant.
Her arms tightened around me. Im sorry for what happened to you, whatever it is.
Yeah. I huffed. Im sorry too. And thank you for feeling strongly about it. But I pulled
back until I held her at arms length. I wanted to make sure she saw my expression when I
said, I decided years ago that I wouldnt let my scars define who I am. Sure, I still have my insecure
days, but if I lived my life hiding behind what happened to me then whoever did this
wins. I cant allow that.
Tears welled in Deidras gray gaze.
Nope. I shook my head. None of that.
She nodded and wiped away the tears that escaped her control.
I appreciate you taking care of me during my stay here. Im happy that I got to know you.
The veil firmly back on, Deidra stepped out of my reach. Were decorating the Christmas
tree in the main room this evening. Would you like to watch?
Excitement curled in my stomach. Can I help?
I dont know
I dare you to stop me. Then the presents I needed to wrap came to mind. Can you bring
me a pair of scissors and some tape?
Without asking what they were for, Deidra excused herself. Our moment was over, yet
something in me knew Deidra and I shared something deeper now. She may be a servant, but
I considered her a friend.
I sat on the couch enjoying the selection of sandwiches and tea Deidra brought me until
she returned with the scissors and tape Id requested. I waited for a couple of minutes after
shed left before taking out the two bags containing the frames, the pictures, and the
wrapping paper and ribbons Id hidden behind the dresser. I cleared my early dinnernot
minding the fact that this would be another night I wouldnt be with the band at the dining
roomand laid out everything I needed.
The pictures Id printed out sat in a line in front of me. I pulled out the first frame in the bag on the
floor propped up against the couch and quickly inserted Elis picture. Id chosen
the one with him in all his bald bodyguard glory deftly escorting Luka through the sea of fans.
He looked all business in his suit and shades. I set the frame aside and picked up another
one, inserting a candid of Deidra turning down my bed. She had no idea Id come in and I
caught her with such a peaceful expression. She loved her job. It must have taken everything
for her to set aside being a maid to express how she felt about my scars. I hoped my gift
would show her how much I appreciated what she did for me on a daily basis.
The next picture was of Yana in all her Gothic Lolita gorgeousness, standing in the
sidelines amongst the harsh cords and cables at the Crescent City Today studio. The hardness
around her perfectly juxtaposed the softness of the lace and ribbons she wore. She looked on
at the band as they performed like a proud mother watching a talented child impress the
world. Even in her stillness she seemed to move.
I chuckled at the picture of Dray leaning over his beakers and test tubes. I called it The
Mad Scientist Drummer in His Element. I wished I could give him one of the prints from his
splatter drumming, but those were top secret until the Spring Showcase. Another chuckle
escaped my lips. Id kept this picture black and white except for the glow in the dark paint
inside the glassware. I specifically picked out a matted silver frame to set off all the grays.
For Demitri I chose a picture of him among his collection of biographies. He sat behind his
desk with his feet up on the table. The serenity on his face as he read could be compared to
that of a monk meditating. In that single moment Demitri found nirvana.
The reason Id been secretive about the pictures while printing them out had to do with
the one Id chosen for Phoenix. Id never met anyone so confident with her sexuality. Asking
me to take her picture during an intimate yet vulnerable moment with Demitri spoke of self-
assurance and trust. I caught her during climax, head tilted and back arched. Her long brown
hair cascaded in waves behind her. I blurred the rest of the photo and only kept her in focus
during that second of complete ecstasy. In my head I called the picture The Rapture.
Despite my annoyance at Calixtas very existence, I couldnt forget to include her. I didnt
have that many of her, but there was one I thought she might like. It showed her retouching
Phoenixs lipstick at the video shoot. The look of concentration on her face reminded me of a
painter in front of a canvass. I also kept this one black and white except for the deep red of Phoenixs
lips and the tip of the brush.
I stopped at the last picture. The one of Luka. I had such a tough time choosing. He didnt
take any bad photos. I ultimately settled on the one where he sat on my couch. The morning
sun caught his hair just right, setting the curls on fire. The memory of how his presence filled my
apartment and how his fingers tapped out a beat filled my mind and I smiled. If I had a
perfect image of Luka in my head, it would be that moment in my apartment. He seemed so
much himself, so relaxed and unguarded.
With the tape dispenser at my side, I quickly wrapped the frames and bound them with
ribbon. I wrote out the names of the recipients on festive rectangular cards and stuck them to the
wrapped frames. I said a small prayer that they liked my simple offering then stuffed the
presents back into the two shopping bags. The sun had completely gone down by the time I
walked out of my bedroom.
The main room was located to the left of the front door. I hadnt spent much time in there
when I explored the manor. It seemed like one big living room to me with the exception of
the floor to ceiling vista windows.
I took my time getting there, marveling at the amount of Christmas ornaments already
decorating the house. The scent of pine entered my lungs every time I inhaled. I loved it. A
wreath in festive colors hung on every door. Even mine. It seemed they were sticking to the
traditional red and green with hints of gold. Dangerous mistletoes dangled from entryways. I
could just imagine the stolen kisses it produced.
Red silk ribbons brought a beautiful touch to light fixtures. Garlands decorated with fruits
and flowers wrapped around banisters. I inspected a strand when I reached the grand
staircase and realized the fruits and flowers werent plastic as I had suspected. Everything
was natural and real. I made a quick computation of the decorating cost and my head hurt
from the estimated amount.
Shaking my head, I clomped down to the foyer. The usually empty round table now
boasted a miniature Christmas town complete with mechanical train. It whistled as it passed
the station, puffing smoke. The houses and roads were covered in snow. Fake. Smart move
since no one wanted a huge puddle in the middle of the foyer. Tiny people were positioned in
various parts of the town. There were even a couple horse drawn sleighs. Staring in wonder, I
carefully deposited my bags on the floor and picked up my camera. Id done this several times
throughout my trek to the main room. Because of all the pictures, it took me longer than the
usual ten minutes.
Christmas carols pulled me from the tiny town. Recognizing Deidras voice, lilting now in
song, I picked up my bags and headed for the main room. I hadnt gone several steps in when
I had to stop. A magnificent, twenty-foot pine tree stood by the large windows. A group of
servants all singing a jaunty version of Jingle Bells surrounded it along with two A-type
ladders. Id never seen a Christmas tree so big in person. And man, could everyone in Lunar
Manor carry a tune except for me?
Isnt she beautiful? Deidra asked when she reached my side. Id been so busy gawking I
hadnt heard her approach.
Its huge. Again with the stating the obvious. Whered you get it?
Gregory grows them at the edge of the property.
Sure, because getting a tree that big so far from the city was completely ludicrous. No
wonder the entire house smelled of pine. Howd you get it in here?
Do you really want to know or do you want to help decorate it? Deidra picked up my bags
of presents and brought them toward the monster tree. Theyd already wrapped it with white
twinkle lights.
I think I saw a squirrel in there, I teased, finally able to move. The closer I got the bigger the tree
seemed.
Really? one of the guys said, stopping mid-chorus while the others continued. A lock of
gray hair fell over his forehead when he scanned the tree. I could have sworn wed checked
to make sure none of the tenants were left over.
I chuckled at his consternation. Chill. I didnt really see one.
Placing his hand at the center of his chest, he breathed a sigh of relief. Afterwards he
rounded the tree, making sure the squirrel Id joked about wasnt really there. Mental note:
dont tease the servants. They were way too dedicated.
Switching from Jingle Bells to Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer, Deidra handed me cute toy
soldier ornaments and I hung each one at varying heights, humming along. A ball of emotion
grew inside my chest. At around this time of year my mom and I would be decorating our tree
as well. I hated not being home with her, but I had to suck it up in the name of my art. My
plane ticket was ready and waiting for the first of the new year. Id have to make sure to make up for
missing Christmas.
Pretty soon, I lost myself in the oddly calming activity of decorating a Christmas tree and
the servants a capella group. All the ornaments looked expensive. The glass balls had gold
specks on them. Crystals studded the candy canes. At our house, we made our own
ornaments. The Lunar Manor tree felt impersonal to me until Deidra started handing me
mini gilt frames with pictures in them.
I smiled down at a blond boy with bright blue eyes. Is this Luka?
Yes. Deidra sidled closer. I believe that was during his fifth birthday.
Someone had neglected to wipe his mouth that day. He had what looked like chocolate or
jam smeared all over his face. I just wanted to hug him and kiss the top of his cherub head.
Hard to believe what a rock star hed become today. Bossy. Overprotective. Sometimes
inappropriate. Sexual harassment should be his middle name. Yet he had his sweet moments.
For every frame I hung, Deidra had a story. The first time Demitri lost a tooth. Yanas first
haircut. Drays first microscope. I wasnt surprised by that one. Being a mad scientist meant
starting young. The only person without a picture was Phoenix. My heart twisted for her until
I remembered she wasnt part of the familyyet. Demitri would be a fool if he let someone
like her go. Plus, I didnt think the band would survive a breakup like that.
I wondered about the party they were at. Were they sipping expensive champagne? Was
Dray being good and keeping his facts to himself? Was Demitri hovering close to Phoenix
without really touching her? Yana would surely be on her phone or schmoozing some
industry bigwig. Then there was Luka. Would he be charming and sociable or sulking and
brooding in a corner? With Luka I never knew what I would get. The many facets of him
could just as easily make him endearing or confusing, depending on his mood. Either way, he
reminded me of a diamond. Beautiful yet tough to crack.
Shelving the enigma that was Luka, I poured all my attention on the task at hand.
No one told me a twenty-foot tree took several hours to decorate. The grandfather clock
standing guard at one side of the room chimed midnight when I climbed one of the ladders.
Id fought hard for the pleasure of placing the angel at the top of the tree. Since the ladders didnt
reach that high, one of the servants handed me a stick. The angel hung from the end.
At the top of the ladder, I reached out with the stick. My tongue darted out of my mouth,
hooking at the corner of my lips. Not quite reaching the top of the tree, I leaned forward
further, kicking my leg out to give me the extra inches. I felt all the servants staring up at me with
bated breath. A couple of guys stood by the ladder just in case.
I concentrated on my task, pushing thoughts of falling to my death out of my mind. Id had
so much fun decorating the tree. It was my favorite part of Christmas besides opening
presents.
Almost got it. I leaned in a little further. Got it!
Dakota!
Lukas bark distracted me from my precarious balancing act. My foot slipped. Screams
followed.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Distress
Time crawled when plummeting to your death. My hands groped for the air in front of me.
Beyond my fingers, the white angel Id successfully planted atop the tree. If Id done
something good in life before I died, Id want that to be it.
Falling from a fifteen foot ladder didnt take more than a few seconds. I hardly yelped
when I closed my eye, waiting for the impact my soft body would make with the hard ground.
Instead of brain splattering, I landed with an oomph into someones arms. On reflex, I wrapped my
arms around my heros neck and opened my eye. One of the burly servants
whod kept the ladder steady while I climbed it carried me princess style now.
Thanks, I said through the frantic beating of my heart.
Before the guy could respond to my gratitude, another pair of hands yanked me out of his
arms. My protest died in my throat when Lukas scent went in with my inhale. I froze. In fact,
everyone froze. My gaze locked on the demon mask Lukas expression had become.
How dare you allow her to help in this meaningless task? he hissed through his teeth.
The servants all flinched away, their heads bowed.
Luka, Im sure they didnt mean it that way, Yana said from somewhere. I only saw her
in an all-black ensemble when Luka whirled us around so he could hiss at her.
Shut up, sister.
The infallible Yana cringed away. The rest of the band stood shocked behind her.
I had to salvage the situation, so speaking seemed like the smart thing to do. Yanas right.
I was the one who wanted to help.
He growled down at me. Like literally growled like a dog with bared teeth and all. For a
second I had another Beauty and the Beast moment.
At my silence, Luka returned his attention to the poor servants. Youre all fired! His
voice bellowed within the cavernous main room. I half expected plaster from the ceiling to
fall, hed been so loud.
Luka! Demitri barked too. Think about what you are doing.
What the hell? I said at the same time. Are you crazy?
Luka locked gazes with me again before he stomped out of the main room with ground
eating strides. With my height, I at least thought he would have a hard time, but it seemed I
weighed feather-light in his arms. Only when he took the grand staircase two steps at a time
did I notice he wore a white tuxedo with a black tie and lapels. Despite the insane anger on
his face, he looked extra hot this evening.
I snapped myself out of admiring him. This night would not end well if I didnt stand up
for myself. Luka was acting all kinds of crazy and I wasnt about to let him bulldoze through
one of my favorite Christmas activities.
Puffing up my chest, I said, Luka, I swear, if you dont put me down
He snorted at the threat in my voice.
Anger rising my hackles, I thumped him in the center of the chest. My fist bounced off
hard muscle. Youre not really firing them, are you?
With him breathing hard, I actually felt his heart beating beneath my hand. They
shouldnt have allowed you to decorate the tree. He stopped at the atrium so abruptly that if he
werent holding on tightly to me, I think I would have flown out of his arms. And what
business do you have climbing a ladder that tall in your condition?
What condition? I matched him bark for bark. Im not sick anymore. My throat isnt
even sore. Im fine, Luka. Get it into that thick head of yours.
Not gratifying my argument with a response, Luka continued his trek to my bedroom. He
kicked the door in and rushed me to my bed. Unceremoniously, he flopped me onto the
mattress, forcing an oomph out of me. I actually bounced a couple of times before settling.
He shrugged out of his tux jacket and threw it into the living room. Then he proceeded to
pace the foot of my bed.
Why the hell are you so worked up about this? I followed him with my gaze, leaning
back with my hands behind me.
You could have hurt yourself on that ladder. He did a good job of messing up his slicked
back locks by raking his fingers through them.
If I remember correctly, you suddenly calling my name is what caused me to lose my
balance.
He stopped and faced me. Youre pinning this on me?
I shrugged, which only caused him to bare his teeth again. Imaginary steam curled out of
his ears from the way he glared at me. I had it under control. If you didnt freak out when
you saw me then I would have climbed down the ladder safely. Why the hell do you have a
twenty-foot tree anyway? It seems a little excessive.
Luka resumed his pacing. Dont change the topic.
My tongue wanted to dart out of my mouth. So hed caught the topic change, huh? With
the hilarity happening in front of me, I couldnt find it in myself to stay mad at Luka. He
tortured himself enough without me adding to the spectacle.
Luka, I rolled my eye to the ceiling, youve got to quit with this overprotective streak of yours.
Im not overprotective!
Oh yeah? What about that time you didnt want Phoenix to go through with her boudoir
shoot? Yeah, I heard you two arguing out in the hall, I said when Luka stared at me as if to
counter my words. And then when I got sick, which is also your fault, if I recall. He slumped into
the chair he used to guard me in my sleep. And now when I was just enjoying myself
decorating the tree. You ruined that by going off the rails. Okay, harsh, especially from the guilt
blooming in Lukas features, but why hide the truth to spare his feelings? If he didnt get a grip,
people would needlessly lose their jobs.
I did freak out, didnt I? He sighed long and hard.
Id hate to say I told you so.
Luka pushed out of the chair and went into the living room. I didnt know what he was up
to until I heard him speaking.
Please let the staff know none of them are fired.
A pause. I assumed he spoke with administrative services. I didnt move from the bed,
suddenly really comfortable on top of the warm sheets. Maybe Luka was right. Maybe I
wasnt fully recovered yet. The fatigue in my limbs certainly agreed with him. I let myself fall the rest
of the way, folding my hands over my stomach. I blinked slowly at the ceiling.
Yes. Lukas calmer tone reached me. I made a snap judgment. Please send my apology
to the staff and double their Christmas bonuses. Yes. Ill sign off on it in the morning.
I tuned out the rest of Lukas conversation in an effort to understand what just happened.
Luka freaked out because he thought I wasnt well enough to be decorating a tree. He thought
I would fall off a ladder. And he actually fired his staff because Id helped out. What was it about me
that put him in protective mode? I was just a photography major who was given an
opportunity to photograph Vicious for her final project. When Luka returned into the
bedroom, I asked him so. I pushed up on my elbows, waiting for his response.
Dakota, Im tired. I had a really long evening and you falling off the ladder took ten years
out of my life. Sinking back into the chair, he yanked at his bow tie and unbuttoned the top
of his dress shirt. Im not in any position to explain why Im protective when it comes to
you.
Dont give me that bullshit response. I scrunched my nose at him. Its like when a
woman says she has a headache to get out of sex. I want to have it all out. Now. Yeah, why
wait? Ever since Id met Luka it had been nothing but sexual tension and harassment. I
pushed aside the way hed made me feel in the tub and the rest of the times his touch set my
skin on fire. That had nothing to do with this. He didnt think twice about firing innocent
people because of me. This had to stop. You freaked out when I left the manor for a couple
of hours. You refused to leave my room when I was sick. And now youre barking at the staff.
Whats that all about?
Luka watched me from hooded eyes. He stretched his legs out, crossing them at the
ankles, and used three fingers as a stand for the side of his head. Theres something about
you, Dakota.
Thats not an answer. It means nothing. Well, not really, judging by the hummingbird
heartbeat in my chest.
What do you want from me?
Answers. Clear, understandable answers. If you cant give them then you might as well
get out.
Like a snap, Luka was off the chair. He walked out of my room, leaving me slack-jawed. I
heard the terrace doors open then close. The coward. Hed rather leave than confront my
questions head on.
Unbelievable. I shook my head before falling back into bed. Rolling to my side, I closed
my eye. I thought I just wanted to think things through. Instead, I fell asleep.
The next time I opened my eye, I lay on the right side of the bed. I breathed in deep. Sweet
and spice met my inhalation. I twisted around to find Luka sleeping beside me. Sighing, I
pushed away the comforter hed covered us with and swung my legs off the side of the bed.
Once on my feet, I looked down to find myself in my sleep clothes. What was with Luka and
his need to dress me like a doll while I slept? It bordered on creepy at this point. But what
could I do? Arguing with him about it seemed useless. I just had to hang in there for a few
more days.
Shaking my head, I stretched my arms out and felt my way to the bathroom. I didnt want
to flick any of the lights on for fear of waking him. My foot brushed against something soft. I bent
down and picked up Lukas jacket. In a moment of weakness, I lifted it to my nose and
sniffed. I let the scent of him envelop me. When Demitri told me about Luka being a complex
creature, he left out just how complex. Even a team of the countrys best psychologists
wouldnt understand the things Luka did.
Returning to my senses, I draped the jacket over the nearest couch and entered the
bathroom. The cold tile made me hop the rest of the way. Sitting on the toilet, I honestly tried to let
understanding Luka go. Only then did the idea for his photo shoot crystalize in my
mind. I knew what I wanted to do.
When I shuffled back into my bedroom, Luka still lay on his side of the bed. A quick smile
spread across my lips. I still couldnt believe he sat with me the whole time Id been delirious from
fever. And everything that had happened tonight with his freak out seemed so funny
now. Sure, the guy had his faults, but when he wanted to, he could be so damn sweet. I didnt
want to admit it, but he was growing on me. That just might be the most dangerous
realization Id ever had since coming to Lunar Manor.
Having just recovered, the fatigue of interrupting my sleep caught up with me. I didnt
have the strength or the patience to figure my feelings out right this instant. In a couple of hours, we
would be having breakfast then opening presents. What little sleep I could get I
would take now because the final push for my project was at hand. I stifled a yawn and
padded back to bed. When the mattress dipped at my weight, Luka shifted. I paused for a
second.
Whered you go? he asked sleepily.
Bathroom, I whispered, settling back into bed.
Without opening his eyes, he pulled the thick comforter over my body. You should have
woken me. I would have helped.
I can pee by myself, thank you very much.
He grunted but didnt say anything else. Soon his breathing returned to the rhythmic
repetition of sleep. I whispered a silent thanks for his continued concern for my health and
quickly sank back into the dark dreamless state Id found myself in when the fever hit.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Presents
On the cold, hard forest floor, I lie spread-eagled in a pool of my blood. Staring up at the
sky, I count my heartbeats like stars. He left me to die. My breathing grows shallower with
every minute that passes. I shiver, numb inside. I no longer feel the bottom half of my body. I blink but
only one eye closes. My tears mix with blood, rolling hot down my face.
I cant move.
I dont. Having lost any will to live. My hope slips out of me as the blood pool grows
bigger. A cloud covers the moon, bathing me in darkness. My breaths come in hitches and
hicks now.
As the silver moonlight returns, I hear several voices call my name in the distance. I dont
move. I know I should call out, but I feel no pain. Im fine. They dont need to find me. Im
comfortable where I am. I blink again, my eyelid getting heavier. Im so tired. I ran way too
much.
Beams of light pierce into the gloom, overpowering the moons light.
Im fine. Really. I just need some sleep and Ill be right as rain.
Their calls grow louder, but Im already slipping away.
My eye closes.
A final breath leaves my body.
Wake up, wake up, sleepy head!
Jerking awake, I hissed at the sunlight blinding my good eye. Sleeping on my stomach, I
pushed up slightly and buried my face into the pillow, away from the harsh light. Deidras
high-pitched voice said something, but my brain and ears refused to pay attention. I reached
out to my left side where Luka slept only to find empty space. Opening my eye a slit, I
confirmed what my hand told me.
Like a stray Id made the mistake of feeding, Luka had left my bed without as much as a
cuddle. Jerk. Deidra sashayed into my bedroom and shook my shoulder.
Alright! I barked. Im up.
Despite my words, all I did was shift to Lukas side of the bed. I inhaled the sweet and
spice, further proving I hadnt dreamt his presence in my bed last night. Huh. Nothing
happened. We slept together and nothing happened. I didnt know how I should feel about
that. A part of me thanked the heavens he hadnt tried anything stupid. The idiot in me
partially wished he had.
Im giving you one minute to get out of that bed, Deidra threatened. Then Im yanking
off those sheets whether youre on them or not.
In a plank position, I pushed up with my hands and toes and rolled onto my back. I stared
up at the ceiling. Then, when I remembered I had company, I reached up and only relaxed
when my fingertip touched velvet.
Patch secured and not wanting to test Deidras resolve, I sat up, pulling my legs up and
resting my elbows on my knees. I ran my fingers through my hair and trailed Deidra with my
gaze.
What are you doing?
She dropped a garment bag on the bed by my feet. I eyed it suspiciously. She pointed at the
bag and said, Get up and wear that. Youll be late for breakfast.
What breakfast? My fuzzy brain refused to cooperate this morning. I needed a
humongous cup of coffee.
Deidra finally stopped moving about and faced me, hands circling her tiny waist. Its
Christmas morning. Everyone is to report to the dining room for breakfast before present
opening. Didnt you get the schedule?
I need coffee, I grumbled, only getting half of what shed said.
Huffing, Deidra stomped into the living room. She puttered about before coming back with
a heavenly smelling mug. I eagerly reached for it, and without blowing, brought the rim to my
lips. I took a determined gulp. Heat and peppermint rushed over my tongue and down my
throat. The yumminess fought against the scalding. I took another swallow, finally waking
up.
Merry Christmas to you too, I said to Deidra.
The knot on her brow eased, replaced by a warm smile on her lips. Merry Christmas,
Miss.
For once will you call me by my name? I mean, it is Christmas after all. I knew I milked
it, but Deidra relented the second I gave her the puppy dog face.
Merry Christmas, Dakota.
There you go. Warmth spread all over my body from the scrumptious coffee. The
peppermint did just the trick. Candy cane in a mug.
Thank you for the wonderful present. Her smile grew wider. I will treasure it always.
You already opened it? I dropped my gaze, feeling my embarrassment surface as a hot
blush. I rubbed the bridge of my nose in an effort to hide my discomfort.
I hope you dont mind. The staff cant have presents under the tree. When I noticed my
name on one of the gifts in your bag, I separated it. I also took the liberty of giving Eli his.
The hopeful anticipation in her eyes broke through my shyness. She waited for me to
respond, wringing her hands. I finished off my coffee and crawled out of bed, handing her the
empty mug.
Youre welcome, I said with a grin. Im glad you like it.
She nodded once then all her humor disappeared. Now, I dont want you to be late, so put
that on and Ill escort you to the dining room.
Whats in it? I eyed the garment bag again.
Since its Christmas, Mistress Yana thought it appropriate that you dress for the occasion.
She said to tell you that you are not just a photographer today.
Yana sent the clothes? God only knew what it could be considering her taste. Praying the
hardest Id ever prayed, I reached down and unzipped the bag and peeked inside.
This is what she wants me to wear? I gulped.
Dont worry. Deidra patted my shoulder. It comes with leggings and a pair of shoes.
She dangled a pair of black pumps in my field of vision.
Oh hell no! I am not wearing those!
***
When I refused to go to breakfast in the black pumps, Deidra let me wear my boots with
the red baby doll dress Yana sent over. I didnt mind wearing dresses. My mother, as a joke,
always made me wear one on Christmas day for church. It didnt mean I didnt pull on the
hem periodically. And if not for the ridiculous red ribbon in my hair that Deidra insisted
looked cute on me, I wouldnt have sulked all the way to the dining room.
My frown only disappeared when I entered a winter wonderland. Overnight someone had
transformed the dining room into the perfect Christmas scene. Massive gingerbread houses
acted as centerpieces from one end of the long table to the other. Bright red and green holly
hung from the chandeliers. The white carpet beneath my feet resembled the powder of fresh
snow.
At the corner of each room stood giant toy soldiers, while a snow man sat at the opposite
end of the table. Reindeer lined the walls. A mini version of the twenty-foot tree stood to the right of
me. There was so much to see in the room, my eye strained to catch everything. I only remembered the
camera hanging from my neck when I saw Santa seated to the left of the
snowman. I snapped a picture for each corner of the room.
Dakota, you look gorgeous! Yana exclaimed as she swayed toward me in a bright green
dress suspiciously similar to mine with one notable exception. She wore hers with fishnet
stockings and skyscraper heels. Green ribbons decorated her arms like maypoles.
Thanks? I scratched the back of my head. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to you too! Come, come. She ushered me further into the dining room.
That was when I noticed Phoenix and Calixta wearing the exact same dress as Yana and me
one in gold and the other in white respectively. They smiled at me. Well, Phoenix smiled,
Calixta merely twisted her lips. Id take whatever I got from her. Then I spotted the guys
standing together. They all wore top hats and suits straight out of a Dickens novel. Demitri
leaned on a cane. A green scarf hung from Drays neck. And Luka
My gaze met his for a brief moment before I dropped it to the red cravat on his neck.
When I returned my gaze to his face, a noticeable grin pulled at his lips. I refused to blush.
Rolling my eye at him, I lifted my camera and took a picture of the handsome trio. Then I
aimed the viewfinder at the women. And I thought I took Christmas seriously. The Vicious household
actually dressed the part.
Alright, Yana announced. Since everyone is here, we can all eat!
She sounded so chipper this morning, I couldnt help but catch some of her good mood
when I moved to my regular seat.
Where are you going? Luka asked from the head of the table.
To my chair? I gestured toward the one beside Calixta, which oddly didnt have a place
setting.
Oh, youre not sitting there today. Yana guided me to the seat to the right of Lukathe
one originally reserved for me my first night here.
Luka pulled the chair out and I said through my teeth at him, You promise to behave?
I will do my best. He winked at me then pushed my chair in, forcing me to sit down. I
could only hope hed keep his word. I didnt want to ruin Christmas for everyone by putting
Luka in his place for his wandering hand.
When everyone took their places, the servantsall dressed in adorable elf costumes
brought in the food. Yup. They took their holidays way too seriously.
Christmas breakfast at Lunar Manor consisted of cinnamon rolls, French toast, poached
eggs, sausages, hot chocolatethe menu went on and on. I must have eaten my weight in
food. By the time the sugar cookies were served with homemade ice cream, I feared the
seams of my dress would bust open. I could hardly breathe when I pushed my plate back and
leaned heavily against my chair.
Besides the sugary rich food, I enjoyed the conversation floating around the table.
Everyone took turns sharing their favorite Christmas stories. I learned about the time Dray
stuck his tongue on a frozen pole to test a theory. It took the servants an hour and three blow driers to
thaw him out. Poor guy. Then everyone laughed at the story of Yana insisting they
have a Nightmare Before Christmas theme one year. Her blush rivaled the color of my dress.
What? She crossed her arms. I love that movie!
I totally understood where she was coming from. The Gothic Lolita princess finally finding
a film that spoke to her tendencies? I would want a Nightmare Before Christmas themed
Christmas day too.
The story I loved the most must have been the time Luka got a cold. He had such a high
fever that he couldnt make it out of bed for Christmas breakfast and opening of presents. So, in a
stroke of genius, Demitri convinced everyone to bring Christmas to him.
Now I get where your self-entitlement comes from, I whispered to him.
Luka snorted then shook his head at me, taking a bite out of a gingerbread man. He could
put it away with the best of them. I watched him eat to his hearts content and still didnt
seem full. And hed kept his promise to behave. The whole time I sat beside him, not even a
knee touched me. Although, he could have at least tried to hide his glances. Nothing discrete
about the heat in those blue eyes at all.
Once the plates were cleared, Yana announced the time had come for present opening.
Dray and Phoenix raced each other to the main room while Demitri twirled his cane as he
strolled after them. Calixta pretended not to care, but the glint of excitement in her eyes told me
otherwise. Yana entwined her arm with old sourpuss and pulled Calixta along.
Feeling self-conscious about my modest gifts, I lagged behind. I was confident about my
work, but Id never given photos as presents before. Every artist felt uncertain about her
talent at some point. Mine just happened to coincide with present opening time.
Whats the matter? Luka stood by my side.
We were just outside the main room. I looked up at the angel atop the massive tree. A
tingle of accomplishment rang in my chest for being responsible for the feat. Not everyone
could boast about almost falling to their death after decorating a tree.
Lukas fingers entwined with mine when I didnt respond to his question. I looked down at
our joined hands. The warmth of his palm gave me a measure of reassurance. I smiled,
tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
I just hope you like my gift. I swallowed when I met his gaze. I mean all of you. I hope
you all like my gifts.
He tilted his head and treated me to a bright smile. Im sure whatever it is will be great.
Cmon. He tugged me forward and when I moved he whispered into my ear, You look good,
by the way, but I prefer the jeans.
Okay, now I blushed. I couldnt help it anymore. The tickle of his breath and the bedroom
voice he used? Id have to be made of stone not to react to that combination. So unfair.
At the tree, the guys sat on chairs while the women sat on the floor. Dray sat on the floor
too, shaking a box close to his ear and hazarding a guess as to its contents. I took a seat
beside him, knowing anything he got he would thoroughly enjoy.
Did you know gift giving was common in the Roman celebration of Saturnalia, an ancient
festival which took place in late December and may have influenced Christmas customs? he
said to me after picking up another box.
I smiled, already feeling a whole lot better about my gifts. Thats really interesting.
Dray nodded then handed me a box with my name on it. This ones from me.
Taking the box, I stared at the silver blue paper with matching bow. You didnt have to get
me anything.
I know. But how else could I thank you for giving me the splatter drumming experience?
Blinking away welling tears, I threw my arms around Dray. He leaned back at first, unsure
what to do. Pretty soon he laughed and wrapped his arms around me too, completing the hug.
I let go and opened his gift for me.
Its a
Lens cleaning kit, I finished for him, in awe of the small token that meant so much to
me already. Dray, thank you!
He nodded awkwardly before reaching for another box. For the first time the guy full of
facts stayed speechless. The sound of tearing wrapping paper mixed with my laughter. I
barely held back tears of joy as I took pictures. So much for working in the sidelines. In less than a
month, Id become a part of this merry band of eccentrics.
This ones from me, Demitri said with a wink when he handed me a sleek box with a red
bow that could be called the little sister of the one I wore.
I tore through the wrapping and discovered a new camera strap. Embossed leather. With
watering eyes, I glanced up at Demitri. He scratched his cheek, fighting a grin.
I figured you needed a new one since the one you have now is fraying, he mumbled.
The big guy more comfortable walking around half-naked at a loss for words? I stood on
my knees and hobbled toward him for a hug. Gruff laughter reverberated from his chest to
mine.
Oh my god! Yana screeched. We all froze then looked toward where she sat. My present
sat on her lap. She stared at the photo with her hand covering her mouth. Dakota this is
gorgeous. She lifted her gaze, the same watery expression in her eyes I just had. Thank
you!
At Yanas reaction, everyone dove for their presents from me. Wrapping paper flew in all
directions, and for the first time since we sat around the tree, silence ruled the main room. I sat on my
calves, worrying the ribbons at the hem of my dress. Everyone stared at their
photos. I had no idea what to make of their silence until they all looked at me and said thank you at the
same time. Hugs were shared all around.
You guys like them? I asked like an idiot because I needed further validation.
Youre really talented, Dakota. Phoenix wiped away the tears she couldnt hold in. Im
sure the photos for your project are a hundred times more awesome than these. Not that I
dont like this. I love it.
I chuckled. I get what you mean. No need to blubber.
Once the awe from my gifts died down, the rest of the gifts were opened. I received
makeup supplies from Calixta, who mumbled grudgingly about maintaining my complexion. I
thanked her for the thought. Phoenix and Yana banded together and gave me a shopping
spree. I rolled my eye at that. Apparently, I couldnt have too many clothes and boots.
Whatever floats your boat, Phoenix added just so I wouldnt return the debit card theyd
given me.
I didnt want to think about it but the lack of a present from Luka ate at me. Not that I
expected him to give me anything. Justhed given everyone else something. And he cradled
my present like it was the most precious thing hed ever received. But really, it didnt matter that he
gave me nothing.
I kept telling myself that all the way back to my room. I clutched everything Id received to
my chest, a bounce in my step. Besides my mom, Id never had anyone else give me anything
this time of year. It meant so much to receive thoughtful presents from relative strangers.
When I decided to come to Lunar Manor, not once did I think I would feel a part of the
Vicious family. The band had taken me in and that mattered more than any material thing
they could give me.
Setting aside the persistent pinch at not getting anything from Luka, I pushed into my
room. With the preparations for the New Years Eve party underway, I needed to plan the last
photo shoot. Prepared to work for the rest of the day, I didnt notice the large rectangular box sitting
on my bed until I went into my bedroom to change out of my dress.
Like it was some kind of mythical creature, I approached the box slowly. A golden bow
adorned it. Someone with mad calligraphy skills spelled my name out on a white card in
curlicue letters.
I picked up the card and flipped it over. At the back it said, Heres to finding answers.
My heart fluttered. Sweat rose on the tips of my fingers when I slipped off the bow. I eased
up the top of the box and peeled away the delicate tissue paper covering the dress Id worn
during the video shoot.
I want you to wear it at the party, Luka said.
I whirled around to face him. The dress? I couldnt believe how dumb I sounded, but
what could I do? Something told me the gift wasnt really in the dress but what it
represented.
He nodded. If you still want me to answer all your questions, Ill do it then.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Masks
The next day, I spent most of the morning in bedthinking. A dangerous past time. When
I couldnt stay prone anymore staring at the ceiling, I scrambled out of bed and into the
shower.
Hair still dripping, I moved around my quarters, not really doing anything. Finally, out of
my mind at this point from all my thinking, I sat on the couch staring at the dress Luka had
given me. My knee bounced as I gnawed on my thumbnail.
Deidra had hung it on the back of my bathroom sliding door. Its full skirt was lustrous
from all the shiny black feathers. The corset still looked uncomfortable, but I didnt mind
wearing it the whole day of the shoot. To be honest, I loved the dress. I didnt tell anyone
about loving the dress, so Luka giving it to me as a present baffled me. How could he have
known?
After telling me hed answer all my questions at the New Years Eve party, he left and I
hadnt seen him until I got up at dawn to pee. Hed crawled into my bed again like he
belonged there. I didnt have the heart to kick him out. He just slept on his side, not once
rolling over to my side or invading my personal space. The guy didnt even cop a feel, which
sent my insecurities on overdrive. While awake he certainly made his attraction obvious, but
when it counted the most he kept his paws to himself.
Okay, I didnt understand my logic either. Hence the inordinate amount of useless
thinking. I should be working on Lukas shoot. I needed to find a mask, yet I spent most of
the day in my room staring at the damn dress.
I wanted answers, sure. I wanted to see what this was between Luka and myself. The
chemistry was there. The sexual tension definitely crackled like static. When wed kissed, I
nearly lost my mind. I hated the state of limbo hed put me in. Never once had I allowed a guy to treat
me this way. I knew what I wanted and I wasnt afraid to ask for it. Short of tying him up the way he
did to me, all I could do was wait until the last day of my stay at Lunar Manor.
Oh, we would have it all out alright. Id leave this place having made up my mind about
him. Besides the physical, I couldnt be sure of my attraction to him emotionally. Luka
seemed like a lot of work. A relationship with him might be one of the only things impossible
in this universe. Did I really want to put myself in that sort of situation?
I bit down on my thumbnail hard. The pain centered me. Whyd I even let myself think
this way? For all I knew, Luka saw me as nothing more than a plaything. He certainly put my
emotions through a rollercoaster. For a person who mostly accepted her lot in life and did her best in
everything she set out to do, living with someone as unpredictable as Luka slowly
changed something in me. It scared me. It scared the hell out of me.
Well, youre out of bed, at least, Deidra said when she entered my room. She deposited
her ever present food tray.
I snorted. How did I live before you came along? Im pretty sure I knew how to feed
myself, now I cant see myself eating if you dont bring something for me. I picked up a tiny
sandwich triangle and popped it into my mouth. My stomach gurgled, having been ignored
for most of the day.
I do live to serve.
Hows the prep for the party going?
Deidra massaged her temples. Insane. Yana wants a carnevale theme.
Isnt that the celebration they have in Venice?
You dont know the half of it. All the furniture on the ground floor is being put in storage, to be
replaced with theme appropriate fixtures.
A small ray of hope glimmered in my gut. Does this mean no mandatory dinners?
I barely kept the cheer inside my throat when Deidra nodded. Because of the massive
preparations, everyone is asked to stay out of the way. The band will be at the studio all week
anyway, so thats not a problem. Since you seem to be acting the hermit and staying in your
quarters, I dont have to worry about you except for the occasional feeding.
Gee, thanks. Should I wag my tail every time you enter the room?
That is preferred but not necessary. She grinned cheekily at me. Ah, I loved Deidra to bits
and would miss her horribly when I left. I pushed aside the pinch in my chest the thought
brought.
So the band would be at the studio. I had to put my shoot for Luka together if I wanted to
get everything done before the thirty-first. Through the course of the month, Id amassed
enough photos for the introspective. All I needed now was Lukas contribution. The theme of
the party distracted me from my mindless contemplation of what went on between me and
the bands bassist. Work always got me through. Now, I counted on it again to ground me in
reality.
Doesnt carnevale use masks?
Deidra rolled her eyes at that. Yana just had hundreds of them shipped in. Everything has
to be authentic.
I get the feeling youre not enjoying this.
Oh, but I am. Its just sometimes things can get tedious. But when you see the final
product, its magnificent. A couple years back they had a Cirque de Soleil theme. Had flying
acrobats and all that. Crazy, but beautiful. Most of the staff were on the brink of a nervous
breakdown by the time guests started to arrive.
I laughed at Deidras distressed expression more than her story. I can just imagine.
No. She pursed her lips. I dont think you can.
Setting aside the teasing, I said, Where are the masks?
Theyre being stored in the library for now. Why?
Pushing off the couch, I rubbed my hands over my thighs to rid them of crumbs. I need to
find the perfect one for Lukas shoot.
Well, just make sure you stay out of the way. Deidra picked up the tray and sashayed out
of the room.
How bad could servants running around be?
***
I should have known better than to question Deidras warning. After I grabbed my camera
and slinked out of my room, I wished I hadnt left its safety. When Deidra said they were
moving out all the furniture, she literally meant it. The sitting rooms were emptied out. The
servants running around with throw pillows and vases and Faberg eggs reminded me of the
time I came home to Lukas temper tantrum. Yet another thing I didnt understand about
him. But Id let that goI just kept forgetting that I did.
Three times since leaving my room, Id been asked to get out of the way. Quite rudely too.
Gone were the polite servants. Hopped up on stress, they were snappy sons of bitches now.
Not that I could blame them. A carnevale themed party in less than five days? Yana drove
them to madness.
I found safety in hugging the walls. So long as I didnt use the middle of the hallways,
which were the main thoroughfares at the moment, Id be fine. It took me twice as long to get
to the library, but since I arrived in one piece, I thanked God for small miracles.
I slipped in and closed the door on the pandemonium outside. The room was eerily quiet
compared to the clamor Id just slogged through. Id read books where writers described
chaos as a warzone. Clearly they hadnt seen true chaos like the dustup at Lunar Manor
before New Years Eve. Deidras nervous breakdown comment finally made sense.
Speaking of breakdowns, would Luka tell me the truth if I asked him during the New
Years Eve confessional he had planned? I didnt know the parameters of finding answers.
So far as I was concerned, hed set none.
Making a point to ask him about his meltdown when the time came, I pushed off the door
and inched closer to the long study tables the servants used to lay the masks on. There must
have been close to a hundred of them, lined side by side on the tables. Most of them had
white bases and were decorated with swirls of paint or glitter and feathers. Some had gems
attached to their cheeks. There were harlequin masks. Plague doctors masks with long noses.
There were half masks too. Basically, any form you could think of lay in front of me.
I scanned each one, searching for the one I had in mind for Lukas shoot. Of all the
members of Vicious, he wore the most masks. He had multiple personas. Juggling all those
personalities must be exhausting. I certainly couldnt do it.
I picked up a gold mask with red trimming and brought it to my face. Something about
seeing things through its eye slit choked the breath in me. I quickly put it down and moved
on. Some masks were simple while others were so ornate they resembled headdresses. Id
only seen pictures of carnevale on the internet. To actually be at a party with it as a theme
excited me. A grin spread over my lips while I made a mental note to clear all the files in my memory
card for that night. I needed all the space for pictures Id need.
Eerily, the masks on the tables resembled peoples faces. I got on my knees and took a
picture of them from a low eyelevel. It creeped me out. At some point I imagined the masks
floating off the tabletops and start dancing around me.
Unable to stay in the library any longerthe quiet unnervingI scanned the last table at
the back. My gaze landed on a pure white mask with black lips, black outline for the eyes, and a
single black tear falling from its left eye. I picked it up and tilted it up then down.
Suddenly, the whole shoot came to life in my head. The simplicity of the mask created the
perfect counterpoint for the complexity of the man behind it. I imagined black lipstick on
Luka, black nail polish, heavy kohl eyeliner. I needed stark contrasts.
My heart drummed an ecstatic beat inside my chest. Yes. With the mask in my hands,
everything fell into place. My introspective solidified for me.
Hugging the mask to my chest, I rushed to the door. When my hand fell on the knob, I
took a deep breath, girding my loins for the fray I was about to jump into again. I had to find Luka. I
needed to tell him about the shoot and carve out time in his schedule for it.
I pushed into the hallway and was almost blindsided by a servant carrying a pedestal.
Yelping, I flattened myself against the wall again. The stairs to the studio was several yards from the
library, which was totally heaven sent for me.
Thoughts heavily occupied by the poses I imagined in my head, I wasnt paying attention
until I pushed into the studio. The hush in the room whipped my head up. No one but
Phoenix and Luka were behind the glass where the instruments were and the two guys who
operated the sound board were missing. Where were the rest of the band and Yana?
Shouldnt they be recording today?
Not knowing what to do, I raised my hand to get Lukas or Phoenixs attention until
Phoenix slapped Luka across the face. I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand. Since the
speakers werent on, I couldnt hear what they were arguing about behind the glass wall.
Lukas face crumpled into a scowl. He screamed something at Phoenixs back. Whirling
around, Phoenix pushed at his chest, screaming something back. Luka pointed downward
several times. From the way he moved, it seemed like he stabbed the floor instead of just
pointing at it. Phoenix waved her hands in the air, a terrible knot forming on her brow. Her
eyes were wild.
A part of me wanted to hear what they were arguing about. But the saner part of me
listened to my self-preservation instincts. Clearly, they didnt want anyone to know about this
argument or the rest of the band would have been with them. I walked in on something I
shouldnt have.
Since it looked like Phoenix and Luka wouldnt be done any time soon, I slowly backed
away toward the exit. Unfortunately for me, I wasnt paying attention and knocked over a mic
stand. It fell over and hit a button on the sound board. A piercing note rang out, startling
everyone. At the same time, Luka and Phoenix looked toward where I stood.
Caught spyingno matter how unintentionalforced my heart to punch a hole through
my chest. Luka took a step toward me, his gaze intense. Phoenix wrapped her arms around
herself, a look of guilt in her expression. I didnt want to know what Luka had planned to do
when he reached me, so I turned around and ran out. Immature move, but what more could
you ask for considering what Id walked into?
Telling him about the shoot could wait.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Bassist
Luka didnt sleep in my room for the next two nights. Id gotten so used to him hanging
around that not having him there actually unnerved me. When I looked for him so I could set
up the shoot, it seemed like hed vanished. The servants were no help at all since they grew
more stressed the closer we got to the party. Deidra only had time to feed me, and sometimes
she walked in with just tea, completely forgetting the sandwiches in the kitchen, and had to
double back through the chaos for them. Poor thing. I told her I could fend for myself, but
she refused to have it, like Id insulted her.
Demitri wasnt in his study both times Id walked that far to ask him where Luka could be.
Dray worked in his lab all day, which meant he hadnt seen Luka at all. Yana was on the
phone ordering gondolasof all things. And Phoenix wouldnt see anyone. That I didnt get.
Why would she lock herself in her bedroom and refuse to come out?
Lunar Manor had officially become topsy-turvy.
By the 29th, Id reached the limits of my patience. If I didnt get the photo shoot going, Id have to
make do with the photos I already had of Luka. But those would be incongruous with
the entire introspective. My graduation was on the line and I wasnt about to let some spoiled rocker
ruin everything.
When Deidra came in for my lunch time feeding, shed mention something about seeing
Luka leave the manor. Id asked her where he went, but shed been too distracted by other
things to give me a clear answer. I thought about it over a ham and cheese sandwich and
wanted to kick myself when I realized Id checked everywhere inside the manor but never the
grounds. Finishing my iced tea, I grabbed my jacket and left through my terrace doors.
Snow hadnt fallen since Christmas day, so the grass grew green again. If the weather
cooperated there would be fireworks, according to one of the phone calls Id overheard Yana
on. All this second hand information drove me nuts. A circus had more organization than the
manor at the moment.
I spotted Gregory raking fallen leaves by the majestic oak where Id met him for the first
time. Did Luka come through here? I asked, foregoing a greeting. I had no time for a basic
hello these days.
He grunted. Bay da lake.
Thanks! Oh, I could hug the gnarly gardener, but from his furrowed brow he seemed just
as stressed as the in-house staff. I gave him a smile he didnt look up for before sprinting
toward the lake. I cut through the woods, taking the path wed used on picnic day.
Once at the lake, I took a second to catch my breath. Shielding my eye, I scanned the calm
water and breathed in the fresh breeze. I mentally patted myself on the back for remembering
to bring a jacket. Even without snow, the air had a nip to it. Zipping my jacket up, I searched for the
blond rock god whod eluded my attempts at locating him for the past two days.
I turned in a tight circle and spotted Luka sitting on the gazebo bench facing the lake. He
stared out at the water. I shook my head and stuffed my hands into my pockets. What the hell
was he doing here?
Ten steps later, I said, So, this is where youve been hiding all this time.
Im not hiding, he grumbled.
Yeah, more like sulking. From the way he frowned, Id say he sulked like a five-year-old
scolded for breaking something.
He flicked his blue eyes at me before returning them to the water. Why are you here?
I climbed up the three steps into the gazebo and gestured at the bench. Is this seat
taken?
Free country. But despite the bite in his tone, Luka edged away to give me more space.
Pursing my lips, I sat down and stretched my legs in front of me, crossing them at the
ankles. I leaned back and got comfortable. Mindful of how little time I had left, I cut through the
pleasantries.
So? What are you sulking here for? I watched the lake too. Shouldnt you be in the
studio recording?
I just wanted to get away. That house is getting a little too crowded for me.
The honesty of his response surprised me. His argument with Phoenix played in my head
like a silent movie. A part of me wished I could read lips, yet did I really want to know? For all I
knew they were arguing about band stuff. But, then again, why wasnt the rest of the band
with them at the time? Conspiracy theories rotted the brain.
Look, you and Phoenix are entitled to your privacy, but you shouldnt turn your back on
your responsibility just because of an argument.
Luka huffed. What responsibility?
Uh, your photo shoot with me, for example?
I dont remember you telling me about that.
Well, if you werent hiding out here then maybe I could have told you earlier.
He sighed. Im not hiding.
Did I fail to mention how frustrating Luka could be? No? Well, call me officially
frustrated.
Luka, whats going on? I twisted around. This went beyond just an argument; I could see
it in the sad lines on his face. One minute youre giving me an expensive dress and telling
me youll answer all my questions at the party and then the next youre here, sulking.
The second I met you at Sacrifice you immediately fascinated me. I told myself now
theres a woman who knows what she wants.
I swallowed down my heart when it leapt into my throat at his words. What makes you
say that? Could this be it? The answers a couple of days early?
He breathed in then out slowly, like it hurt him to inhale and exhale. Its not every day
that you meet a photographer with one eye. You must really like what youre doing to stick
with it despite being visually impaired.
No hurt came from the truth. Luka got me in two sentences. I loved what I did and it
showed in my prints. These past few days Id forgotten my purpose, my thoughts muddled by
crazy desire for a guy I knew next to nothing about. Id been stupid, and I wasnt afraid to
admit that to myself.
When you met me at Sacrifice, Luka continued, Id lost myself. I love my music, dont
get me wrong, but Id lost my way.
The meltdown, I said before it scared me too much to speak.
He nodded. Then you came along, this woman who put me in my place with one photo. I
did everything I could to give you a hard time that night.
Uh, yeah. You can say that again.
The chuckle he let out still sounded too sad for my taste. Yet you captured that photo. Me
and my bass. Something in me said I needed you in my life. That if I had you there my drive
would return.
Are you hearing yourself right now? Okay, I couldnt believe I just asked Luka that, but
this guy needed a severe reality check. Luka, I dont know what happened during your
meltdown. He faced me then, all sadness turning into an intensely serious stare. I honestly
dont need to know at this point. I thought I did, but not anymore. What happened to you is
your business. But youve got to know that youre wicked talented at what you do and that
has nothing to do with me being here. Ive been watching you throughout this month and I
see more than just a rock star. You involve yourself in all aspects of the business. Youre
serious about what you do. You cant let a little mood swing derail all that. You better sack up and let
me do what I came here to do.
In a magical second Luka threw back his head and laughed. His shoulders shook at the
force of his mirth. He hugged himself and doubled over. Laughs upon laughs rolled out of his
body, lifting the heaviness that had settled around us when I first sat down.
Chagrined, and not exactly sure what I said to make him almost fall over from laughter, I
smiled and scratched my cheek. If he needed to laugh it out then Id let himif it meant
getting my pictures. I sat back and watched the lake, contently listening to the rock star lose himself in
chuckles and snorts.
The whole thing lasted five minutes. With a deep sigh, Luka wiped away the tears that
came from his fit and fought to return his breathing back to normal.
Oh God, he said between inhalations. That felt so fucking good.
Im glad I can help, I mumbled, only slightly annoyed at being laughed at when I said
those things in all seriousness.
You actually told me to sack up. He ran his fingers through his curls. Thats precious.
If you want a kick in the ass too, Id be happy to stick my boot where the sun dont shine.
Well see where this goes. He took my hand and kissed it. Thank you.
No blush came. No lust. Just an honest to God friendly kiss of gratitude. It scared the
bejesus out of me. The passionate kisses I could compartmentalize and chalk up to two
artistically inclined people responding to each other. But this innocent kiss asked for more
commitment. Feelings I wasnt ready to confront welled up in me. At some point, Vicious had
become like a family to me, and its complicated bassist made me feel things Id been happy to
keep locked away. How the hell could I leave now without breaking my heart?
Damn. Id painted myself into a corner without even knowing it.
Whoa, what happened? Luka asked, watching me with those clear blue eyes of his.
I couldnt repay his honesty with lies. He didnt deserve them. I just realized in two days
my contract will be done.
It doesnt have to be, you know.
Excuse me? I almost fell off my seat.
Your contract doesnt have to end after the thirty-first. He shrugged like what he was
saying was nothing. You can stay for as long as you want. Be the bands official
photographer.
My poor over-taxed heart leapt off a cliff and tumbled into the jagged rocks below. Luka,
I
You dont have to make up your mind now. He smiled that sexy grin of his. If you had
even an ounce of estrogen youd be powerless against that smile. Just think about it. Know
that theres an offer on the table.
My mind reeled. Could I really stay on and become Vicious official photographer? I
couldnt process the enormity of it. The devil really did make tempting deals, offers too good to
resist. I realized then that being with Luka and the band was like a drug. One hit and youre hooked
for life. This wasnt good. This wasnt good at all.
So? Luka asked. What do you have in mind for my photo shoot?
I silently thanked him for unconsciously returning me back to a reality I felt slowly
slipping away from my grasp. The longer I stayed with Vicious, the less I wanted to leave, and that
sense of neediness freaked me out. I gathered my thoughts and plastered a grin that I
hoped masked my trepidation.
How do you feel about black nail polish?
His eyebrows rose before a mischievous glint entered his eyes. Id say Im man enough to
pull black nails off.
What about heavy Goth make up?
Werent you at the video shoot?
Dont remind me. The memory of that kiss alone was enough to make me want to stay.
No! No! I couldnt allow myself into this sand trap. Lukas offer deserved proper
consideration and not quick judgment.
What about wardrobe? Dont tell me you want me in all black.
The mocking in his tone forced me to slap him on the arm. He flexed the muscle there, not
flinching away from the blow. The inside of my mouth dried up quicker than a glass of water
in the desert.
Actually, I licked my lower lip, aware his gaze followed the tip of my tongue, not black.
How do you feel about being in all white?
Mmm, Im intrigued.
Oh, you havent seen anything yet.
I was hoping for that.
Gah, how did we move from taking about the photo shoot to something other than the
photo shoot? I should have known being alone with Luka never had good consequences. And
from the way he stared at me, all cocky and open like that, the bastard knew it too.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Shoot
Even after a long night of tweaking photos, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Lukas
proposal haunted me. With my arm akimbo above my head, I twirled a strand of hair over
and over. My brain refused to shutdown no matter how exhausted my body felt. I hardly
moved from my position, my back permanently plastered to the mattress.
Luka crawled into bed like a stray cat when the gray morning replaced the dark night. I
turned my head to face him until the pillow cradled my cheek. He fell asleep on his stomach
almost immediately, not a word or grunt of acknowledgement. His hand splayed near my
face. Black nail polish stared back at me. He hadnt batted an eyelash when I described what I had
planned for the shoot. A small smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. Luka seemed
like the type who didnt shy away from an artistic concept. The perfect models never did.
A crease on my brow replaced my burgeoning smile. I still had to pick out a location for
the shoot. The manor stood in shambles. Large gondolas were parked in the main room. They
created a weird image when paired with the giant Christmas tree. Rented tables were
scattered everywhere. Boxes upon boxes of decorations were stacked inside several sitting
rooms.
Today would be crazier than everthe eve of the party. I needed a location away from the
chaos. The grounds were off limits. Gregory had kicked us outwell, back insidewhen Luka
and I strolled back to the manor.
Whats with the face? Luka mumbled. Hed turned to face me without my noticing until
hed spoken.
Im thinking. I sighed at the ceiling, my fingers resuming their hair twirling.
So serious. He reached out and drew a line from my temple to my chin with his
forefinger. So beautiful.
I would have snorted and blushed if thoughts of the location and the pros and cons of
accepting an extension to my contract didnt occupy most of my brain capacity. I could multi-
task with the best of them, but with cutting it close to my end of the month deadline I
couldnt afford more time wasted. The day of the party wouldnt be ideal for the shoot. If I
wanted Lukas pictures, I had to take advantage of today.
Without taking my gaze away from the ceiling, I said, When did you start sleeping in my
room?
A long pause stretched out between us before he responded. Do you want the truth or
something less creepy?
A chuckle escaped me. No point in hiding the fact that youre creepy. Might as well go
with the truth.
A couple of weeks.
I shifted to witness the seriousness of his response for myself. A couple of weeks?
A sheepish blush spread across his cheeks as he fiddled with the edge of the comforter
covering our bodies. I realized I sleep better when youre beside me.
What happens after I leave? I meant it as a joke, but my stomach fell when I caught the
glint of worry in his eyes.
I was hoping youd make up your mind and accept my offer.
Flopping onto my back, I resumed my ceiling staring contest. Hed been sleeping in my
bed for two weeks and I hadnt noticed until now. If I accepted the offer, who knew where
this whole sleeping in my bed would go? No. I couldnt allow myself to daydream of the
possibilities. The most dangerous thing Id ever do would be to give my heart to the rock star beside
me. I lived so far away from the reality I knew now that it scared me. How could I
return to my version of normal?
Lets face it, theres nothing you can do about where I choose to sleep. Luka reeled me
back in. He was right about that, but Id rather die than agree with him. So? Whats with the serious
face?
Im thinking of the right location for the shoot.
A rustle of sheets and a sigh. The manor is a complete mess.
The main atrium might be a good place.
No. Luka took my other hand and kissed the center of its palm. That brought a tingle I
welcomed. If I know Gregory, thats also off limits.
Tingle forgotten, I frowned. Im fresh out of ideas. The only place not exploding with
stressed servants is my room. Its not what I imagined for your shoot.
Lukas kisses continued up my arm. Why not the attic?
The image of a room with slanted roofing and a ton of crap made me grimace. Wouldnt it
be filled with clutter and cobwebs?
What makes you think the manors attic is cluttered and full of cobwebs? He chuckled
before licking the inside of my elbow. Goose bumps rose along my arms. My heart sputtered.
Still I focused on the ceiling. If I let him distract me, Id get nothing done.
Its an attic. By my definition, its the place where people store stuff they dont need. Plus, Im
concerned about the lighting. It might not be the right place.
When his lips reached the part of my arm covered by my T-shirt, Luka balanced his weight
on an elbow. His face replaced the ceilingan infinitely better image to stare at than blank
plaster. My twirling fingers moved from my flat hair to his curls. He leaned into the touch as he ran
his fingertips over the creases on my forehead, smoothing them out.
Why dont you let me show you first before you make up your mind, he whispered,
bringing his lips close to mine without exactly touching. My breath hitched, my heart
anticipating what was to come. If you dont like it then we can go and find someplace else.
Alright, I said then grinned. Kiss me already.
For the next few hours, I thought of nothing else but the feel of Lukas lips on mine.
***
Making out with Luka shut my brain down long enough to get a couple of hours sleep.
After a late lunch, he led the way to a set of stairs Id never seen during my exploration of the manor.
The steps hugged the walls and curled up like in towers. I ran my fingers along the
wall to keep from stumbling. Luka climbed in front of me. Not once did he check if I followed.
I didnt mind since if I did stumble, I didnt want him witnessing it.
At the top of the stairs stood a wooden door with a doorknocker in the shape of a hounds
head. The actual knocker lay between the snarling dogs teeth. Luka lifted the brass ring and
knocked three times. I took a picture of him this way. The image reminded me of the prince
entering Sleeping Beautys room. A metal clank followed then the door swung open. Luka
pushed it further in.
Before entering, he looked down at me and smiled. Its been a while since someone else
has seen this place, but Im happy that its you. He took my hand and I laced my fingers
through his. My heart thrummed like guitar strings.
One. Two. Three steps later, I entered what any child would consider a dream playroom. A
giant panda sat in the corner by the door. White carpeting covered the floor. Bright sunlight
rained down from a sunroof. A miniature carousel dominated one end of the room by a round
stained glass window. Someone pushed up against one wall an exact replica of a castle cut in
half to show the inside. Tiny guards patrolled the wall. Two princes played with wooden
swords in one room while a princess held a tea party for all her dolls in another.
Is that a king holding court? I leaned down and squinted to see better inside.
And these are his loyal subjects. Luka picked up a figurine of a man holding a chicken.
For the favor of the king, subjects usually bring an offering of sorts. He chuckled as he
returned the peasant where he stood with the rest of the crowd.
I straightened and finished scanning the room. Wooden swords leaned up against the
castle. A small table with six equally proportioned chairs with dolls sitting on them
surrounded it. A tea set in front of them. One of the chairs stayed empty. If I didnt know any better, I
would think the tea party happening in the palace actually happened once in this
room.
This is your attic?
Dont sound so surprised. Luka breathed in the surprisingly fresh air. Not a speck of dust
on any of the toys. Someone kept the room clean despite the lack of kids running around in
the manor. My mother repurposed this attic too keep us occupied when we visited Lunar
Manor for the summer when we were kids.
Turning in a tight circle, my gaze returned to the empty space under the sunroof. Can you
stand over there?
Luka padded to where Id pointed. Here?
A little to the left. I formed a rectangle with my thumbs and forefingers. Luka stood still
with his hands at his sides, comfortable in his skin. Not a muscle twitch from the guy. Yeah, right
there.
I picked up my camera and took a couple test shots then cued up the pictures on the digi
screen. Luka came to my side and stared with me. The way the sun hit him bleached his curls,
and the rays seemed like beams shining down on an angel. I could see what I wanted now.
Im assuming you wouldnt want to lose the light? Luka asked, placing his hands on his
hips.
I shifted closer to him unconsciously. Youre not dress and you still need to be in
makeup.
I can get Calixta here in five minutes.
Tell her to bring down pillows.
He leaned back, the bolt hitching up a notch. Feathers?
I nodded. And ask Deidra to bring the mask Id left in my room here. Where are you
going? I asked when Luka jogged to the playrooms door.
His hand rested on the wood. To do what you asked. Theres no intercom here.
Giving the room a quick scan showed me the lack of a phone. When my gaze returned to
the door, Luka was gone. The way he anticipated my needs awakened delicious shivers in my
belly. I imagined mini versions of Luka, Yana, Dray, and Demitri spending hours in here.
A part of me felt out of place. No matter how welcoming the band had been, and no matter
how much Id enjoyed my stay at Lunar Manor, the whole experience felt like a dream Id
soon wake up from.
I shook my head to clear it. I still had today and tomorrow to decide. I didnt need to be
making life altering choices this instant.
Right now, I had pictures to take.
***
Luka sat in the makeup chair patiently waiting for Calixta to finish putting his face on
according to my specifications. Since Christmas day, shed bitched less when in my presence.
She must have appreciated my gift more than Id anticipated. When Luka said hed get her to
the playroom in five minutes, I should have clocked it. Sure seemed that way. Hed changed
into a white turtleneck sweater and those wicked leather pants hed worn the day I signed the
contract. The inside of my mouth dried up the second he waltzed in. I pushed away all
thought of our remaining hours together.
Deidra stood with me, opening up the stitching to the pillows shed brought with her. The
mask sat on Lukas lap. I hadnt told him what it was for, but Luka was smart. Hed get it.
Thank you for rescuing me from downstairs, Deidra said as she ripped open the pillow
and set it aside to pick up another one. I dont know how long I could have lasted. Yanas
being a total She cleared her throat, her gazing slanting toward Luka.
Its alright for you to say bitch in this instance, he said from the chair. She really is.
She wants this party to be the biggest weve ever thrown.
Luka! Calixta screeched. Shut up or youll have a mess of black lipstick all over you and
well have to start from scratch. She muttered something under her breath. I caught the
mention of my name, but I thanked my lucky stars I didnt hear the rest. A couple of weeks
ago Calixta wouldnt have muttered.
I rolled my eye and chuckled. Its really bad down there, huh?
Dont get me started. Deidra grimaced when the stitching of one pillow refused to
cooperate. She put a little too much effort into the pull and it rained down and feathers all
around us. I sputtered, waving away the fluff. Deidra whimpered. Sorry!
Its fine. I laughed, accidentally inhaling the down which resulted in a coughing fit.
Deidra patted me on the back. Just I stepped away from all the down and feathers into
fresher air and squeaked out, Just make sure to gather the feathers. I dont want to waste
them.
When the coughs dissipated and I straightened, Luka stood in front of me in full makeup.
The heavy eyeliner emphasized the color of his eyes and the intensity within the deep pools.
Then my gaze landed on his lips, and I swallowed. Holy hell. He made black lipstick look
damn sexy. From the way his mouth quirked, hed caught where my mind was going. Straight
into the gutter! For a heartbeat I wanted to run my tongue over the teardrop painted at the
corner of his eye.
Where do you want me? he asked as a way of breaking the spell.
I blinked several times, trying my best to reconstruct my professional photographer mask.
Like last time, I said then closed my eye and huffed. I sounded like a complete idiot. I
mean right below the sunroof like last time.
What do you want me to do with this?
I opened my eye to him waving the mask in my face. Play with it. I rubbed my forehead
when his grin turned wicked. This is harder than I thought. You look way too good. Its
messing with my concentration.
You think I look good? His voice dropped an octave, uncaring that Calixta and Deidra
were in the room with us.
Duh. I rolled my eye at him. Now will you go stand below the sunroof. I dont want to
lose the light.
Thank God for his obedience, but the glimmer of lust in his eyes told me we werent
finished discussing what Id unwittingly started. With wobbly legs, I positioned myself
behind my camera. Deidra had brought my tripod along, much to my eternal gratitude. Id
totally forgotten to ask Luka for it.
Taking a deep breath, I leaned down so my eye leveled with the viewfinder. Only then did I
exhale slowly. My finger on the shutter release connected me to the camera. I tapped into the
sense of peace that came with looking through the lens. From behind a camera, I drew my
power. It allowed me to believe I could do anything.
Think of the mask as an extension of yourself, I said. Pose whichever way you feel
comfortable without leaving the light provided by the sunroof.
Luka nodded once without looking at where I bent down behind my camera. He cradled
the mask with both hands and brought it to face him. I clicked the shutter release.
I licked my bottom lip. Good. Keep going.
He held the mask away from him with one hand like an actor holding the skull in Hamlet.
Another picture. Then he faced me and covered his face with the mask.
Okay, freeze. I zoomed in on his eyes peering through the slits of the mask. Just as my
finger squeezed the shutter release, Luka tilted the mask to the side, revealing the part of his face with
the painted tear. I sucked in a breath and held it. The way his eyes looked right at mebeautiful. Like
when the heavens part after a rainstorm and spears of gold cast away the
gray.
Heat washed over my face.
In one shot, Luka showed me his strength and his vulnerability. I recognized the face
behind the mask, yet a complete stranger stared back. For the first time in my life I finally
understood what a picture is worth a thousand words meant.
Chapter Forty
Party
Like an addict in need of the next fix, I knew what I wanted. Capturing that one photo with
Luka made my decision for me. We didnt even need to use the feathersmuch to Deidras
annoyance. She had to stitch up all the pillows again. I profusely apologized. She pursed her
lips at me and raised an eyebrow. Hopefully, with the party going on, shed find it in her heart to
forgive me.
When she sauntered into my room to let me know the guests had started to arrive, the
smile on her face said I was out of the woods. She asked if I needed help getting dressed, but from
what Id heard, Yana needed all hands on deck. So I waved her off and told her Id see
her at the party. Her poorly disguised relief got her a chuckle and an eye roll.
Inside the shower, I planned everything all out. From the way my heart fluttered, youd
think I was about to confess my undying love. In some cases, it seemed that way. I had no
idea where my decision would take me or how much of my life would be spent with Vicious.
All I knew was I needed to take more pictures of Luka. I felt it in my gut. I had to peel away the
thousand and one layers covering him until I met the real Luka Visraya.
In my plan, I would bring Luka out on one of the terracesas private as the party would
allow. Then, right as the fireworks light up the sky, I would tell him I accept his proposal for
extending my contract. Of course, I needed to graduate first. From what I understood from
Lukas offer of an extension, I could finish up all my requirements, graduate then meet up
with the band while they were on tour.
I spent the whole time applying my makeup giddy and excited. As I dabbed blush on my
cheekscontouring the way Calixta had taught me during the video shootI barely quelled
the urge to run up to the top floor of the manor and shout my decision for the world to hear.
Well, those whod arrived at the party early, anyway.
Never had a choice felt so right. Every little detail fell into place. I already imagined the
shoots around the world I would put together with the band. Exotic locations, beautiful
backdrops, and Vicious in all of them. Glorious. I sighed as I glided lip gloss over my rouged mouth.
I smacked my lips together, batted my eyelashes enhanced by three layers of mascara,
and pushed away from the vanity. I dropped my robe, leaving it to pool on the floor, and
removed the dress from its garment bag.
When it came time to zip the heavy monster up, I met the same problem. The zipper
stopped at the center of my back, refusing to go any further. Needing help, I walked out onto
the terrace and marched toward Lukas quarters. The chill of the night air bit into my exposed
shoulders. I pressed the semi-open dress to my chest so the girls wouldnt fall out. The skirt molted
behind me, leaving a trail of black feathers in my wake. I silently prayed I wouldnt
look like a bald ostrich by midnight.
At Lukas terrace doors, I spotted him walking out of his room attaching a cufflink to his
left cuff. My stomach did a triple axel. If it were an ice skater even the French judge would
take notice. Excitement zinged under my skin. I inhaled the brisk air and prepared myself to
enter the living room where he currently stood in a tux sans the jacket. The mask Id used for the shoot
on the coffee table. I had to push aside what that made me feel or I wouldnt last through the night.
Luka hadnt noticed me yet, so I opened my mouth to say his name. The door to his room
burst open. Demitri rushed in like an enraged bull in a perfectly tailored tux of his own. He
grabbed Lukas shirt front and growled at him.
How dare you put her through that, he said in measured words, baring his teeth. His
nostrils flared. You know she cant handle that kind of stress.
I covered my mouth and took a step back. My hummingbird heartbeats quickly shifted
gears into panicked double beats. The darkness outside shielded me from them.
This is not the time and place, cousin, Luka replied in an equally measured tone.
Oh yeah? Demitri shook his cousin. You really think you can dictate the terms when the
woman I love is involved?
Yesyes, I can. Luka tilted his head and grinned. You really want to start a fight on the
night Yana spends most of the year preparing for?
With a disgusted grimace, Demitri let Luka go with a push. Lukawith an uncanny sense
of balancemaintained his stance with just a small step back. He smoothed out the wrinkles
caused by Demitris beefy fists as if the other guy hadnt threatened bodily violence against
him.
I couldnt understand where the tension between them came from. Definitely Demitri
meant Phoenix when he mentioned the woman he loved. Could this have anything to do with
the argument Id inadvertently witnessed between Luka and Phoenix? It did explain how
weird they were both acting afterward.
I have way too much self-respect to punch you out right now. But dont get me wrong,
your face has a date with my fist. Demitri pulled at his tux jacket to settle it back in place on his
shoulders then he pointed at Luka. If you ever make her uncomfortable again, I swear to
you, cousin, this relationship we have is over.
Without waiting for Luka to respond, Demitri turned on his heel and strode out of the
living room in ground eating strides. Breathing to calm my erratic heartbeats, I entered
Lukas quarters in careful steps. As Demitri left, Luka had bowed his head and ran frustrated
fingers through his curls, messing up the gelled order.
What was that about? I asked, still holding my dress to my chest.
Lukas gaze whipped up and for a second I caught a glimmer of panic there before he
blinked it away. Its nothing.
Doesnt look like nothing to me. Demitri was about to hit you.
The Luka shutdown commenced with a maddening shrug. Did you want something from
me?
I flicked a glance at the door Demitri had left open. Just because I decided to extend my
contract didnt mean I had exclusive rights to the business between the cousins. If Luka
didnt trust me enough to avoid changing the subject then it was no skin off my back.
Although, a part of me did make a promise that I would one day earn that trust. If I wanted to get
through to the real Luka, I had to earn his trust.
So, seeing that I wouldnt be getting answers to what Id almost walked into tonight, I gave
Luka my back. Can you zip me up?
On silent feet, Luka reached me in two breaths. He ran his fingers up my arms and
deposited a kiss on my bare shoulder. Can I just say that you look beautiful in that dress?
Nice distraction, mister. I grinned at him over my shoulder. Dont think Id let go of
knowing what you and Demitri were fighting about because of a couple goose bump raising
kisses.
He smiled against my skin. Just goose bumps?
Well I reached behind us so I could squeeze the back of his neck. He pulled me closer
so my back was flush against his front. The rest of it involves getting out of this dress.
That could be arranged.
I felt the zipper go down instead of up. Not wishing to be late to the party, I stepped out of his reach
and wagged a finger at him. Bad, Luka!
He snorted. No fair.
We dont always get what we want, now do we?
Instead of the smirk I expected to come with my joke, Lukas expression fell. I turned in a
small circle to face him and cradled his cheeks in my hands. We stayed that way until he met
my gaze. He circled my waist with his hands and rested his forehead against mine. We shared
the same air for several breaths.
Sometimes I forget just how beautiful you are.
The corners of my red lips pulled up. I must not be all that beautiful if you forget.
Youre fucking gorgeous. He pressed a quick kiss on my lips. Anyone who says
otherwise I will shoot and bury in the woods.
Despite the creepy connotation, I will accept that compliment. Now, I looked into his
blue eyes again, zip me up and lets enjoy this party.
In one flick of his wrist, Luka cocooned me in my dress. My breath hitched at the pinch of
the leather corset. How could I have forgotten the torture this dress brought? Only the
hunger in Lukas gaze made wearing the thing worth it.
Before he could make good on physically undressing me the way his eyes promised, I
backed away. Thanks for the zip up. I just need to grab my mask from my room and reapply
my lipstick. Ill see you at the party.
Luka nodded, but within the depths of his eyes an unexplainable sadness grew. At the back
of my mind, I knew I should have returned to him and drew him into my arms. Unfortunately
for him, the revelry already underway below us distracted me.
***
Because of the claustrophobia brought on by the full masks, Id chosen a black half-mask
attached to a stick. It had feathers that matched my dress. I would have worn the kind of
mask with a ribbon to tie behind the back of my head, but my patch wouldnt allow it.
Taking a deep breath and preparing for the stares that usually came with strangers seeing
my patch for the first time, I took the grand staircase a step at a time. It would have been cool if my
movements were for dramatic effect, but it couldnt be further from the truth. With
such a heavy skirt, the last thing I needed was to embarrass myself by falling.
Keeping the mask pressed up against my face with one hand, I used the other for support
on the banister. Guests arrived via the massive front doors, greeted by someone in a
harlequin costume of checkered black and white and a golden staff.
When Yana said the theme was carnevale, the guests dressed for the occasion. Flowing
gowns for the ladies and elegant suits for the men. All of them sporting elaborate masks. A
riot of color and a mix of cloying perfumes added to the ambiance of celebration. Excitement
crackled in the air. Guys whooped and women giggled. Several waiters dressed as jesters
stood by the door with platters of champagne. Once invitations were checked, guests lifted
flutes off the tray, immediately bringing the bubbly to their lips. The underlying theme of the night?
Getting hammered before midnight. A race I had no intension of participating in.
Gift bags bursting with rice paper and ribbons replaced the mini Christmas town on the
central round table. A list of the items inside sat on an easel beside the table. My eye popped when I
scanned through. A platinum and diamond tennis bracelet? The latest smart phone? A
spa vacation? I didnt need alcohol to be buzzed. The cost of the gift bags went straight to my head.
Having had enough of the foyer, I veered left to the main room. The mystery of the
gondolas finally revealed itself. The curved boats resembled cornucopias. I didnt know how
they did it, but four large gondolas overflowed with food. The fifth and sixth that bookended
the food were used as makeshift bars. Shirtless masked bartenders filled out the drink orders.
I half expected a ten piece band. Instead, a DJ spun wicked beats. Not exactly going with
the carnevale theme, but when Yana threw a party, she threw a damn party. The scene
brought me back to my club covering days. I lifted my camera and captured every interesting
second.
Couples danced on the furniture-lite main room. I had no idea women could grind in full-
length ball gowns before. At first I thought a smoke machine gave the floor its misty effect
until my glance landed on the large buckets of dry ice. Did Yana mean for the smoky floor to
mimic the waters of Venice? At least they didnt pipe in a sewer-y smell Id read about.
Jugglers and acrobats performed around the dancers, weaving in and out of the crowd,
drawing applause above the blasting techno. The end of the room opened to the biggest
terrace of the manor where fire breathers and scantily clad fire dancers regaled the stragglers whod
rather spend the night outside.
I spotted Dray standing to one side of the room and made my way to him. A mime
accosted me along the way, but I did my best Russian-accented English and said, In my
country, we shoot mimes on the spot. The poor guy blanched beneath his white make up and
backed away.
Feeling good about myself, I sidled close to Dray and treated him to a toothy smile. My,
how handsome you look today, Dray.
In a tux similar to the one Demitri and Luka wore, Dray adjusted the black domino mask
on his facea light flush spread beneath it at my compliment. Did you know Carnevale in
Italy was traditionally a period when roles were reversed? Men and women, nobility and
commoners.
I grinned because how could I not? Thats really cool to know.
Being with Dray calmed some of my nerves. The longer we discussed all the facts he knew
about Carnevalewhich was a hell of a lotthe more I knew I had to stay with Vicious. I
didnt want to miss Dray and his facts or Phoenix and her bubbly personality or Demitris big
brother wisdom. Yana would work me to the bone, I knew this, but I wouldnt mind if it
meant I could spend more time with the band I now considered family. And Lukawe had
unfinished business.
What a change a month made.
You are not drinking, Dray leaned in and said. Wed lapsed into a comfortable silence,
watching people get drunker by the hour.
Nah. I shook my head. I dont want alcohol to cloud the fun Im having.
But youve been standing with me all this time. Surely Im not that exciting to be with.
Are you kidding me? This is the most fun Ive had at a party in a long time.
Another blush colored Drays precious face. I just wanted to reach up and pinch his
cheeks. He gestured at the dance floor and asked, Do you want to dance?
Im not really a dancer. I touched my patch and he nodded.
Dont worry. I will lead. He handed my mask to one of the waiters, took my hand, and led
me to the floor. A hip hop type of waltz played in the background. There may be a DJ but the
music still resembled what might play at a straighter-laced party.
Waltz remix, I told Dray above the music and cheering.
He whipped me around until we faced each other, my camera between us. I gasped. Then
he placed his hand behind my back and balanced the other with mine on top just above our
shoulders. He grinned at me and I smiled back before we started moving.
As Dray and I moved with the crowd, half my heart wanted another band member to be
leading the dance. I hadnt seen Luka anywhere.
Wheres Demitri and Phoenix? I asked because asking where Luka was stuck in my
throat. Yet my gaze kept searching for a white mask with black lips and a teardrop on one eye.
Dray scanned the guests over my shoulder. They must be here somewhere. I ran into
them before you came to stand with me. Most of the time they play host at these events
because Yana is too busy making sure everything runs as scheduled to bother speaking with
guests.
Ah, thats why I havent seen her. My lapse in concentration caused me to stumble.
Drays sure hold kept me from falling. Hed promised to lead and that was what he did.
When wed completed our second revolution around the dance floor, a fast walking Yana
came to our side. Instead of a dress, she wore a green suit with white trim and feathers and a matching
jacket that reached her knees. Her spike-heeled boots clicked on the marble floor.
The only reason I recognized her was that she had her white mask dangling around her neck
the same way my camera hung from mine. The wild worry in her eyes caused Dray to stop.
We inched out of the dance floor before Yana started speaking.
Its almost midnight
Already? I interrupted her, searching for the grandfather clock to confirm her statement
only to realize it had been removed along with the rest of the furniture. All my enjoyment
dissipated, leaving behind a void easily filled by nervous stomach knotting.
Thats not what I came here to say, Yana said, a bite to her tone.
I shut my mouth before I said anything that would force Yana to turn her rising annoyance
at me. Dray smartly stayed silent the whole time. Some warning would have been nice. I
slanted a glance his way, but his attention focused on the woman in her green suit. The only
Gothic Lolita thing about her was the boots.
Have you seen Luka anywhere?
At the mention of his name, my heart skipped. What about him?
I saw him walk out of the main room with a bottle in his hand, Dray said.
Yanas eyes widened further. Tequila?
Dray shook his head. Gin.
Fuck. She nibbled on her thumbnail.
I dont get it. I sounded calm yet Yanas nervous energy was catching, skittering beneath
my skin like ants.
Luka drinks to have fun, Dray explained. Hence the tequila.
But when he drinks gin, its to get drunk, Yana continued.
Why would he want to get drunk? My forehead creased, totally not following the
conversation like someone left out of an inside joke.
Dray and Yana shared a loaded glance then she said, Thats not important. What we need
to do is find Luka before he causes a scene. There are many camera phones here tonight.
She didnt need to say more. I completely understood. If something happened, it would be
all over the internet in a matter of hours, if not minutes. My Wi-Fi access may be restricted, but the
guests? Yanas worry confirmed my suspicions.
But the fireworks, Dray said.
Again Yana brought her thumbnail to her teeth. I need to check on those guys.
Dray and I will look for him, I volunteered, getting an affirmative from the mad scientist
drummer at my side.
Ill see if I can find Demitri and Phoenix on my way to the fireworks display and ask them
to help with the search.
Dray closed his hand around mine and pulled me out into the terrace just as Yana walked
away from us in the opposite direction. The bracing cold did wonders to calm my
overcompensating heart. Dray ducked just as a burst of flames came from one of the fire
breathers. I ducked with him, but didnt stop moving. We dodged fire dancers, jugglers, and
guests alike until we reached the garden. Left and right couples kissed and groped in the
open, not caring to find a dark corner for privacy.
I let go of Drays hand and we spread out, calling Lukas name in hissed whispers. Dray
went right and I scoured left. I circled one of the fountains and came up with nothing. I was
just about to move further into the woods when Dray jogged to my side.
Ill go check the lake, he said. He likes hanging out there.
Be careful.
He nodded once and headed in the direction of the lake. I watched him disappear into the
night before I resumed my search of the grounds. With each minute that passed, my worry
grew tenfold. Sweat covered my palms. My gaze darted from one shadow to the next. By the
time I reached the mighty oak, I worried my lower lip so much that I thought Id drawn blood
from the coppery taste in my mouth.
Whare you doin ere?
The slurred question startled me. I dropped my gaze and noticed Luka slumped against the
tree, a litter of bottles surrounded him. A couple more steps and I would have stumbled into
him and fallen face first.
Luka? I whispered, as if to speak in my natural volume would spook him. I inched closer.
Are you okay?
DI luk oky?
At first I didnt understand the question because of the slurring. Yanas been looking all
over for you. Dray went to the lake to find you.
He snorted, which ended in a hiccup. He brought a half-empty bottle to his lips and took a
swig. Scrw dem.
Having been the one to bring a slobbering drunk Silvia home after covering a club on
several occasions, I took matters into my own hands. I took the gin from Lukas hand and
threw it down with the others. I counted three empty bottles.
He-ey! he reached for the bottle only to fall on his side.
Come on. I swung his arm over my shoulder and snaked my arm around his waist from
behind. Spreading my legs and using my knees, I lifted Luka to his feet. Not easy in a two ton dress
made of feathers. We stumbled to the left a couple steps until I managed to regain my
balance.
Where we goin?
I cringed at the hot alcohol breath that wafted into my face. Were calling it a night,
mister.
I made light of the situation, but as Luka and I stumbled back toward the manor, my heart
sank. This was not how I pictured the night would go. My contract would expire at midnight
and Luka wouldnt be sober enough to remember anything Id tell him.
Chapter Forty-One
Confession
We skirted the manor perimeter in a crazy zigzag pattern. Luka got away from me twice.
Wrangling him back to his quarters made me wish for rope. I didnt know how to string up
cattle, but Ive seen documentaries on cowboys. How hard could it be?
Come on, Luka, I whisper-hissed, adjusting my hold on him. After the second time hed
gotten away, he became content to just hang there like a limp noddle. Having at least fifty
pounds of muscle on me, his Drunken Highness made my life so much harder. Youve got to
help me out here. This is not how I imagined my night going.
I don wanna Luka slurred, losing his train of thought. It started when we reached the
shadows of the manor. Hed begin a sentence then forget to finish it. He burped on me, his
alcohol breath making me gag. Not sexy at all.
I know you dont, I cooed, humoring him while continuing to weave our way toward the
far side where I assumed the east wing was. We avoided sloshed revelers, lip-locked couples,
and a guy on stilts. Id stopped hoping Dray would find us and lend me a hand. But we
always dont get what we want.
Luka snort-laughed. Yeah.
Who knew the rock god could lose his shit after several bottles of gin? I shook my head.
My respect for him lowered for every minute it took to get to his room. Every time I saw
something flash in my periphery, I froze. My heart beat so fast, my head felt like it floated
and only my body held it down. When no one laughed or asked questions after the flash, we
moved again. The fear of our miserable mugs being plastered all over the Net pushed me to
keep going when the idea of dumping Lukas ass on the ground tempted me by half.
His weight added to the heavy dress hunched me over. I gripped his waist and arm and
adjusted him again just so we could keep our balance. If we fell over now, I didnt think I
could get him back up.
A woman screamed in the distance, sending my heart to tumble down to meet my
stomach. I looked over my shoulder. The screamer ran across the grass barefoot, a bottle of
champagne in one hand and a torch in the other. A couple of servants ran after her. That
didnt strike me as ending well.
Rolling my eye and saying a silent prayer for strength, I lugged Luka like a sack of
potatoes. Something told me he wouldnt remember a thing come morning. My only
consolation would be the monumental headache he would wake up to. I took pleasure in his
pain. It gave me the last burst of strength I needed to get him up the stairs of our terrace.
I exhaled a huge sigh of relief when I saw hed left the terrace doors open from when Id
visited him a few hours ago. Thank God for small miracles. My makeup ran from the sweat.
Every breath felt like a heave. New Years resolution number one: hit the gym more.
Once we entered his living room, Luka pushed away from me and stripped off his jacket.
Dropping it to the floor, he pulled out his dress shirt and that joined the jacket. I rushed
forward when he started on the pants. The concept of a zipper baffled him.
Alright, I sighed. No need to perform a strip tease here. Bedrooms that way.
I know where it is.
I stood shocked. Luka didnt slur anymore. In fact, he sounded almost normal. Only the
fact that he didnt move from where he stood told me he was still drunk. The walk must have
burned some of the alcohol in his system.
Your rooms this way. I stirred him to the right.
The squiggly pattern he followed to get to the sliding doors also affirmed his state. I would
have laughed if I wasnt so pissed at him. Not how I pictured my night going. I kept repeating this to
myself since Id found him.
Luka stared at the sliding doors. Theyre not opening.
Theyre not mind-controlled. I huffed, grabbing my molting skirt and stomping to his
side. My camera thumped against my chest. You need to use your hands to part the doors.
Hands? He looked at his palms. She has the nicest hands.
I pushed the doors aside. Who has the nicest hands?
Luka dropped his hands to his sides and padded to his bed then just stared at it.
What now? I asked when I reached his side.
I forgot how to sit down.
This was worse than any of my experiences with Silvia. She remembered how to use her
body. The puking, on the other hand Id blocked those episodes out. Turning Luka around, I
pushed him back gently until his knees hit the edge of the bed. Gravity handled the rest. He
groaned as he lay down. At least he remembered how to do that.
Spotting the mud caking his shoes, I moved toward the end of the bed and removed them.
Lukas breathing evened out. Finally, hed fallen asleep. I let out another relieved sigh,
dropping the shoes on the floor. Someone would come pick them up in the morning. My gaze
flicked to the digital clock on the dresser. Its red numbers announced five minutes to
midnight. So much for telling Luka I wanted to extend my contract tonight. Id have to wait
until the morning. Then my flight back home came to mind. My mother wouldnt be happy.
But shed just have to understand that I did this for my career. Not just anyone got the chance to live
with one of the most popular rock bands right now. I would milk this experience for
everything it had.
I glanced down at the peace on Lukas face as quiet snores escaped his slightly parted lips.
He was so beautiful. I ached just looking at him. I couldnt let go of spending time with him.
Not just yet. Tonight was a fluke. Something had upset him and he drank his sadness away. It
happened. Id seen it before. Nothing to worry about.
Instead of leaving so I could finally remove the cumbersome dress hed given me, my legs
brought me back to where he lay. Without hesitating, I sat on the edge of the bed and
smoothed away the curls that fell over his forehead.
Im sorry, Luka mumbled, taking a deep breath.
Sorry for what? I continued raking my fingers through his hair. Even with product, the
strands maintained their silky texture.
For hurting you. He didnt open his eyes when he reached for my hand and placed it at
the center of his chest. Beneath my palm beat his strong and steady heart. The warmth of his
hand over mine travelled up my arm to settle against my own chest. He needed help tonight
and I was glad to have been the one to give it.
I tilted my head to the side. Hurting me? You didnt hurt me.
Yes. He exhaled. Yes, I did.
For a long minute, he said nothing else. I thought hed fallen asleep again, but his grip on
my hand never slackened. I stayed seated. If he needed me to stay with him, I would.
Why doesnt she love me anymore? he finally mumbled.
At first, I didnt hear him properly. He repeated his question, as if waiting for me to ask
him about what hed meant. My heart sped up while his remained calm. The inside of my
mouth dried up like autumn leaves.
Who? I whispered back. Who doesnt love you?
Phoenix. His eyes opened into slits. I barely made out the blue. She doesnt love me
anymore.
Upon hearing her name, my heart twisted. Each beat became a giant fist, pounding and
pounding inside my chest cavity. I had to force myself to keep speaking.
But Phoenix is with Demitri.
Luka shook his head. She was with me. Then one day she wasnt anymore.
You were together?
He nodded. Since our academy days. I loved her since then. But I hurt her. So much. The
music became more important. I forced her to find comfort in someone elses arms when I
should have been there for her instead. I should have taken better care of her. But I didnt.
He sighed and shook his head. And she had to pick the world tour to leave me just to hurt
me more than necessary.
The meltdown, I breathed out.
Each confession slammed into me like a car barreling straight for a barrier at a hundred
miles per hour. I died a thousand deaths I couldnt understand the reason for. Why did
Lukas words affect me so? I didnt have feelings for him. Not in that way. Yet, no matter how much
my thoughts made sense, a part of me heard the lies behind them.
Then, like a kick in the gut, everything started to make sense. That night at Sacrifice, Luka
had been staring into the crowd. I didnt think of it at the time, but I did notice Demitri and Phoenix on
the dance floor. The faraway look Phoenix got when she visited my room the
night Id taken pictures of her and Demitri. The time Id caught Luka and Phoenix arguing in
the studio and how weird they acted afterward. And a million other little things in between.
No wonder Demitri had been so pissed this evening. Each memory affirmed Lukas story like
a blade cutting into my skin.
I thought I could replace her. He opened his eyes now, lifting them to meet my face.
When I saw you that night, I knew. You were the one.
No. It sounded more like a breath than an actual word. Im here to take pictures.
The way he shook his head sucked out all the air in the room. That was just an excuse.
From the way he spoke, it didnt seem like hed downed three bottles of gin. Each word
rang clearly in my ears. I wished I could un-hear them.
You used me, I said through my teeth. My hand on his chest became a tight fist. I no
longer felt his heartbeat, too busy calming my own.
Yes.
I shot to my feet. You used me!
At first. He balanced himself on his elbows. But, Dakota please, listen to me. The more I
got to know you the more I thought you were different. That you couldnt replace her.
My fists trembled at my sides, begging me to hit him the way I did the morning hed tied
me to the bed. How could I believe the ramblings of a drunk? Yet, I did and that became my
undoing. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I was beyond them now.
Treacherous tears welled. I willed them away, but they fell anyway.
Youre something more, Dakota. Youve got to believe me. And like a drunken asshole,
Luka dropped back down and rolled onto his stomach, promptly passing out.
My gaze landed on Lukas tattoo. I hadnt noticed its entirety when Id helped him open
his bedroom doors. It mocked me now. Flames began at the small of his back. The wings Id
seen before were actually from a bird rising from the fire. The words from a story my
freshman English professor made the class read came to mind. From the ashes rose the
phoenix.
Screw you, I managed to say around the cantaloupe-sized lump blocking my throat.
Turning on my heel, I grabbed my skirt and hurried out of his room. I didnt turn around,
swiping at the tears hed caused. Why should I cry? So he loved someone else. I came to
Lunar Manor to take pictures, not fall in love with a rock star I knew from the very beginning could
never be mine. Even without Phoenix in the picture. What? Did I really think we could
make it work? That by renewing my contract and spending more time with him we could
explore the attraction between us? Id done many stupid things in my life, but this took the
cake. This destroyed me bit by bit.
In the distance, a countdown commenced. Id forgotten about the party. For each step I
took toward my room, the crowd shouted out a number. By the time they reached one, I
yanked my terrace doors open and flew inside. My knees gave out when the first set of
fireworks lit up the sky. I covered my face with my hands and wept. Soul-stealing sobs
wracked my body. Feathers littered the carpet around me.
As my heart broke, the guests watching the wonderful display in the sky sang a drunken
version of Auld Lang Syne. The explosions and crowds merriment provided the best cover for
my embarrassing sobs and screams.
Chapter Forty-Two
Decisions
The boom, pop, and crackle had stopped, bringing silence once again to my world. The
tears had dried up halfway through the pyrotechnics. Id turned in a circle and stared up as
the sky danced, ushering in the New Year. Id stayed as if in prayer on the floor until the show ended.
Id been made a fool. Chewed up and spit out like Chinese food gone sour. Id never been
so humiliated and this included being cheated on. How could I compete when I fought
outside my weight class? Well, no more. No one painted me into a corner.
Bowing forward, I reached behind me and unzipped the dress. I would have torn out of it if
the leather would let me. The lyrics of Poison ran through my head as I got up, leaving the
dress to pool on the floor. Free of its weight, I could breathe better, think clearer.
Luka had said Poison was a personal song for him. Hed written it after his meltdown. Now
its meaning made so much sense. Hed been singing about Phoenix. The dress I wore tonight
and at the video shoot was meant to symbolize Phoenix. The feathers? The leather? The
ultra-red lipstick? How could I have been so fucking stupid?
All the signs were there. I was just too blind to see them.
Using the renewed anger bubbling inside me, I flew into the bathroom and washed away
my half-melted makeup. Jesus. I wore makeup for him. I made myself look nice. I never did
that. All this time staying in Lunar Manor, Id lost touch with myself. I stared at my reflection in the
mirror and didnt recognize the girl staring back. Whered the free spirit go? Where was the girl who
dreamt of traveling the world and taking awesome pictures?
Pushing away from the sink, I dried my face and body. Sweat still clung to my skin from
the effort of lugging that bastard back to his room. I should have left him to rot outside, to be
discovered. The resulting scandal wouldnt hurt me one bit, but in a misguided sense of
loyalty Id helped out. I let myself get screwed royally and I hadnt noticed Id been roofied until I
woke up the next day.
Well, I was awake now. God damn it!
Not bothering with a shower because I had to get out of this house of horrors before the
jerk I shared a terrace with woke up sober enough to think straight and change my mind with
his smooth words, I rushed to the bedroom. I couldnt think of it as my bedroom anymore
because it never was. I grabbed my duffle bag from under the bed and stuffed all my clothes
inside. Screw wrinkles. Id be home in a few hours anyway and put them in the wash.
I paused mid-clothes-stuffing. How the hell would I get back to the city? I had a flight to
catch in a few hours and hoofing it would surely make me miss boarding time. Maybe I could
steal one of the SUVs.
Plan of grand theft auto in place, I finished packing. I slipped into a pair of jeans and a
hoody, foregoing a bra. No time for that. Boots laced, I stomped to the desk and sat my laptop over
my clothes. I picked my camera up off the floor where Id left it beside the dress.
I gave the gorgeous thing one last longing look. When hed given it to me I thought it had
meant something. Now, it just represented my heartbreak and stupidity. Id been truly blind.
Shaking my head, I checked for my passport and plane ticket printout inside my bag.
Seeing the itinerary gave me comfort. I would be making two stops before getting home, but
it was worth it. I had to get to a place where no one would find mespecifically the bassist of
Vicious.
Duffle in one hand, camera around my neck, and bag slung across my chest, I closed the
door to my quarters. The hallway stayed blessedly empty. I mourned not being able to say
goodbye to Deidra since she might be busy with the party still going on, but I hoped shed
understand.
I paused at the goody table at the empty foyer. The greeter and waiters with trays of
champagne were gone. Thank God I didnt have to run into anyone who could tell any of the
band members about my leaving the manor. As far as I was concerned, my contract expired
the second the first firework exploded in the sky. I had my pictures for the Showcase and I
would graduate in the spring. That didnt stop me from swiping one of the goody bags
anyway. I figured they owed me after everything Id been through with him.
With a grin on my face to hide the pieces my heart had become, I walked out into a new
day. Several sports cars and limos lined the driveway. Foregoing stealing a ride, I marched
down the gravel path toward the gate with my head held high.
About halfway to freedom, the crunch of gravel beneath heavy wheels and headlights
pushed me to the side of the path. I didnt look back. I had to keep moving forward or I would
remember everything and breakdown all over again. I had enough time for that when I
arrived at Moms place. I couldnt tell her why I was balling my eyes out when she asked, but
eventually she would leave me alone. I loved her for that.
A black SUV pulled up next to me, but still I didnt stop my trek. The passenger window
rolled down. I kept going.
Need a ride?
The humor in Elis voice pinched at my insides. No thanks.
Miss Dakota, you need to let me give you a ride.
I stopped and the car did too. And why would I do that?
Eli shrugged. His bald head reminded me so much of Mr. Clean. Because if you will
remember, its three hours into the city and its the middle of the night. Walking isnt in your best
interest.
Im not going into the city, I said just to be obstinate.
Look, he sighed, Im officially off duty. I only grabbed the car because I saw you walking
out of the manor with all your stuff. I figured you needed a ride. Thats all.
The sincerity in his tone crept up and over the walls Id built since my tears had dried up
for the night. I exhaled a sigh of my own and dumped my stuff into the back seat, but I didnt sit there.
I climbed up front. Eli didnt comment.
So, where are we headed? he finally asked when we cleared the gates.
The airport. I crossed my arms and scrunched further down in my seat.
Without another word, Eli drove. I thanked him a hundred times for it. The guy must have
felt the dark aura forming spikes around my body. I couldnt take a conversation right now. I
just wanted to leave Lunar Manor behind.
Yana had been right about the experience breaking people. As much as I hated to admit it,
Id been broken. I let my guard down and let the devil in. I had no one else to blame but
myself.
Never again.
Will you tell Deidra goodbye for me? I asked after a while. I couldnt help it. Shed done
nothing but ensure my comfort during my stay at Lunar Manor. I would miss her terribly.
Eli grunted. Will do. He kept his eyes on the road. Thank you for the photo, by the way.
Its hanging in my room now.
A small smile parted my lips. His simple gratitude felt like a cool balm to my battered ego.
I could use a little kindness today, and Eli offered it without really knowing the reason
behind my deplorable mood.
Im glad you liked it. Sorry I couldnt give it to you in person.
I dont mind. We cannot mix with the band during times like gift giving.
His words made sense. Servants couldnt mix with the band. The sentiment rang true to
my ears. I never really mixed with the band. All this time, I thought Id found something I
could be a part of. In reality, Id always just been in the periphery. No matter how honorary
they made me feel, Id never really been a part of their world. Id come to capture moments of their
life. Now, Id done that and I couldnt mix with them any longer.
Not knowing my heart could break into even more pieces, I swiped at one more tear. In
thirty days I got a front row seat to the life of Vicious. I got a chance millions would kill for.
Yet, no matter how great the opportunity, I had to wonder if going through what I did with
him made everything worth it.
The chorus of Poison played in my head:
You are poison.
I opened my veins willingly for you.
From the moment we met,
you pushed my heart into a prison.
You are poison. Poison. Poison.
The song took on a whole new meaning for me now. One I wished I didnt have to think
about. Staring out into the dark early hours of the New Year, the steady hush of wheels on
blacktop lulled me. The headlights stretched out, illuminating only a few meters ahead of us.
Soon, my eyelid turned heavy. I blinked to clear the fatigue, but I eventually lost the battle to stay
awake.
The last partthe most familiar and most confusing partof my dreams began like it
always did. Like a movie on the silver screen.
Im lying on a stiff hospital bed, vision blurry. I can only see half the empty room.
Something black covers the other half. A machine to my right beeps rhythmically. My heart.
Each beep tells me Im alive.
The needle stuck to my arm itches. I want to scratch it out.
My entire midsection is sore. Every muscle in my body feels like straw, ready to snap if I
shift wrong. So it is good that I can hardly move. Not that I want to, considering.
Ive been awake for what seems like hours now, staring at a TV. I have no idea where the
remote is. No one, not even a nurse, came in to check on me. My gaze flits around the room.
A grocery bag sat on the chair at the corner. Nothing else. No flowers. Nothing that might
have my name on it.
I try my best to stay calm. Pretty soon someone will come in and I will get answers. I just
need to hang in there.
Like an answered prayer, the door to my room opens. A man in a white coat comes in. I
barely make out his features. No matter how many times I blink, the blurriness of my vision
doesnt ease. He picks up a chart at the foot of my bed and reads it.
Hello, Dakota, he says.
Dakota. That must be my name. I latch on to it.
Hi, I answer back, my voice scratchy from lack of use.
Its good to finally have you awake. You scared us there for a while. He comes to my side
and flashes a light in my eye. I grimace away. Your mother just stepped out. Im sure shell
be happy to see you awake.
Mother, I say. I have a mother.
Dakota? Even through my blurry vision I see the doctors forehead crumple. Do you
remember what happened to you, honey?
I pause. I think back. A big mass of darkness ruin my efforts. The beeps on the machine
come faster. My eye wells. A tear escapes to roll down my temple. My face crumples as I
shake my head.
No. I dont remember anything.
Chapter Forty-Three
Memories
After hours on a plane beside a colicky baby that wouldnt stop crying and another two
hours on a bus beside a man with an improvised spit can made out of an empty beer bottle,
the discomfort of trudging through knee deep snow toward an ancient farmhouse was
nothing. Wet jeans and all, I carried my bags in my hands, eager to get inside and hug my
mother. Considering the month Id had, waking up in the middle of almost nowhere every
morning until school started was just what the doctor ordered. I say almost because we
lived thirty minutes away from anything in all directions. To me, Moms place sat in an island of its
own. Secluded enough to give a sense of peace to the weary traveleri.e. meyet close
enough to civilization that if I needed a vat of mint chocolate chip ice cream to wallow in I
could get in our truck and drive into town for it, no biggie.
I paused just below the porch steps and dropped my bags, arms aching more from fatigue
than their weight. Then I took the biggest deep breath my lungs allowed short of bursting,
letting the cold winter air in. I never got tired of the freshness of pine. Home. The two story
farmhouse with its bright yellow paint seemed to have grown bigger. Goose bumps spread
through my bodya familiar occurrence when I got close to the house, like an invisible force
field surrounded the property. It was similar to what I felt upon arriving at Lunar Manor. I
shook my head and pushed thoughts of that place away because they led to other things.
More painful things. Mom said the goose bumps happened because of the houses mojo, or
whatever the hell she meant by that. I just called it giving me the creeps.
For the entire trip, I ignored thoughts of Luka. Even thinking his name hurt like salt in a
wound. I wasnt ready to fully commit to the breakdown waiting to happen. I had plans of
lying on the couch by the fire for the rest of winter break. My gaze shifted to the rickety barn that
doubled as a garage when it snowed. I weighed the need to shower versus going into
town now for my pity party supplies. The shower won out on account of the icky airplane air
still clinging to my clothes. And I was pretty sure spit can guy missed once, depositing his
next load on my boot instead. I kept staring out the bus window as if I didnt hear the splat
the spit made on my boot, horrified to check.
Quivering from disgust, I directed my thoughts elsewhere. Like the dreams. I had another
one on the plane when Id finally dozed off. I jolted awake so badly that the baby started
crying again, much to the dismay of the disheveled mother who wore her stress on her face.
She stared daggers at me as if Id been responsible for bringing a sick child on board. Even
then I gave her my best apologetic expression, blushing from head to toe from shame, and
then didnt make eye contact afterwards.
It seemed like the dreams came so much more frequently now. I only had to close my eyes
and I could already feel the mans rancid breath tickling the back of my neck. Yet the girl in the
dreams couldnt be me. They must be some weird recurring nightmare concocted by my
mind to repress what really happened to me. I touched my patch as a shudder ran through
me. If someone could help me make sense of the dreams, it would be Mom. She always had a
sense for these things. New age-y, believed in magic, dream interpretation and all that shit
that was my mom.
Maybe I needed a shrink after all. I moved my hand from my patch to my hair, smoothing
out the ratty knot cause by the back of my head rubbing against the seat headrest. Yup, I
needed to shower first. Ice cream could wait.
I picked up my bags and slogged up the porch steps. The wood creaked beneath my weight,
making me rethink binge eating. Then I remembered the house. The sounds it made, like it
breathed and shifted on its foundation, never failed to give me the willies.
When I reached the front door, I didnt bother with a key. For as long as I could remember,
Mom always kept doors unlocked. Something about allowing the spirits access into the
house. Like I said, my mom believed in weird shit. Id learned to live with it. I jokingly
referred to her as the white witch who loved celebrating Christian holidays. The holly wreath
with red ribbon hanging on the door made me smile and roll my eye. It was good to be home.
Balancing all my bags in one hand, I reached for the knob but before my palm made
contact with the aged metal the door swung in slowly. The door creaked like it hadnt been
oiled in years. Knowing my mother, that was probably a hundred percent true. Mental note:
buy oil can along with ice cream. A fire roared merrily in the living room. The fully decorated tree
stood by the bay window filled with presents. Overflowing Christmas socks hung from
the mantel. And like the wreath outside, holly lined the stair railing. No mom.
Mom? I called from where I stood.
No one answered.
I tried again, calling louder this time. A gust of winter wind pushed me into the warm
entryway. I dropped my bags with a clatter on the wood floor covered by a ratty rug and bent
over the goodie bag Id swiped from the party.
Mom? You home? I called again, rummaging for the orange box I knew contained a
ridiculously expensive scarf. I silently thanked Silvia for this knowledge since shed bugged
Larry for months to write a fashion column for the Daily Gossip. I chuckled at the memory.
The goodie bag held presents for them too.
Happy New Year! my mom said in her singsong voice followed by a clap and jingling.
I straightened with the box in one hand and smiled at her like shed appeared out of thin
air. She stood by the kitchen entrance, wild auburn hair to her waist and arms opened wide.
Without needing a gust of wind this time, I flew away from the door straight into her
embrace. Despite it being the middle of winter, my mother wore a billowy blouse in sheer
fabric tucked into a floor-length burgundy ruffled skirt. Her stack of bangles jangled again the second
her arms circled me. The older I got the more convinced I was that my mother wasnt
old enough to have a fully grown daughter. Barely a wrinkle or a gray hair.
Youre home, she said with relish and an extra tight squeeze.
Im home, I whispered around the sudden lump in my throat. I may enjoy my
independence, but at the end of the day I still needed my mommy.
Let me look at you.
Even if I wanted to stay in the hug forever, I took a small step back and looked into her
sparkling green eyesgreener than the evergreens growing at the edge of our property. She
cupped my face with warm and soft hands. I completely forgot my soaking jeans and the
winter cold. Another draft must have gone through the house because the front door shut
with a quiet click behind us. The worry in her eyes pitched at the daughter-heart in me. She
must have seen the bags under my eyes and the strain at the sides of my mouth. No amount
of makeup could hide them, and I didnt wear any after I left Lunar Manor.
You havent been sleeping well, she said like she intuitively knew what I wanted to talk
to her about.
Ive been having these dreams, I admitted.
The second the words came out, she ushered me into the kitchen. You must have some
tea. It will help you relax.
Not questioning her, I went with the flow dictated by my sometimes off kilter mother and
handed her the box. I brought you this.
All of her face smiled when she lifted the cerulean silk scarf with its bed of tiny pink
flowers from inside the box. She twirled around with it, watching the fabric catch the light.
Merry Christmas, I said, scratching my cheek.
I love it. She tied the scarf around her neck before she puttered about to make the tea.
At the Collins household, we made tea in a saucepan. I pulled out a chair as ancient as the
house and fell onto its seat. For a second I thought I heard it groan. My mother filled the pan with
water, placed it on the already lit stove, and proceeded to open cupboards. Her jangling
bangles reminded me of wind chimes coaxed into song by a summer breeze. Watching her
move like a ballet dancer on light feet calmed me. I thought it best to stay out of the way and
concentrated on what exactly I wanted to tell her. How much detail should I go into? I mean,
the dreams got really intense and I didnt want to worry her more than necessary. But she
was a mother. Her worry gene activated the day I came out of her.
These dreams. I traced patterns on the table. The wood seemed to sigh beneath my
finger. Ive been having them for a while now. Im sorry I didnt tell you until now. Its just I thought
I could ignore them, but its like theyre getting worse now for some reason.
Yes. Yes. Mom added a sprig of something into the water and a dash of powder then she
mumbled a phrase I didnt quite catch. On and on the choreography went, like my mother
had multiple arms instead of two. She didnt face me the entire time the tea brewed. Yes.
Yes.
I continued speaking, my gaze following her movements as best I could. They seem so
real. Like theyre memories instead of dreams, you know? Like theyre really happening to
me.
Mmmhmm. Fascinating. Go on.
Soon a pungent scent filled the kitchen. A mix of boiled cornhusk and patchouli climbed
up my nostrils. If I hadnt been so preoccupied, I would have run away from the smell.
Yeah. I nodded absentmindedly. Theres this man in my dreams and hes chasing me.
And every time, Im really scared. All I could think of is I have to get away from him. A frown
tugged at my lips. But I know its not me. At least, a part of me thinks its not me. Am I going crazy?
I know it sounds insane but
Maybe its just post-holiday stress. Werent you working on your project all month?
Thats why you couldnt come home for Christmas?
I guess. But the reason rang hollow to my ears. It couldnt be just stress. Sure, a month
with Vicious could drive anyone mad, especially with he-who-I-refused-to-think-about. No.
Stress wasnt everything. My boot heel played a staccato beat on the kitchen floor. The more I thought
about the dreams, the more uneasy I got. Like I should be pacing. But before I could
stand, a steaming cup slid into the spot I stared at on the table. For a long second, I watched the ugly
brown liquid slosh inside the ceramic. I hadnt even noticed Mom pour the tea, all
my attention on the patterns my fingers drew on the table. I took the mug from her,
wrinkling my nose.
I know boiled smelly socks would taste more appetizing than this, but I promise it will
help you relax. She smiled like she hadnt heard a word Id said so far about the dreams. But like the
obedient daughter she knew me to be, I lifted the tea to my lips and drank through
the burn, swallowing as fast as I could to keep from really tasting the liquid entering my
body.
Good, she said when I took a couple more gulps.
I moved to set the mug down when the table seemed to shrink away from me. My vision
doubled. My head lolled to the side. Everything in the kitchen melted and spiraled like Id
stepped into a Salvador Dali painting. My mother took the cup away when my fingers went
numb.
Whats happening? I slurred out, slumping heavily against the chair I no longer felt
beneath me.
Everythings going to be okay. I promise, Mom whispered from somewhere. I didnt have
a clear idea where she was anymore. Hell, I didnt have a clear idea of anything anymore. No
matter how hard I tried to concentrate, my thoughts shattered.
With every breath I took, my muscles grew heavier. First, on my neck then on my
shoulders down to my arms and abdomen then lastly my legs until they stretched out.
Mom?
Shhh. Shhh. Let it work. Her warm hand touched my cheek. I should be panicking.
Should be fighting whatever it was that came over me. I knew this yet I stayed seated, feeling like
melting ice cream on a cone.
My vision tunneled. I struggled to stay awake, but something pulled me down. In the
distance I heard my mother speak. Only she wasnt really speaking. It sounded more like
singingor chanting. I couldnt trust my ears anymore.
Crystal clear, crystal clear
Clear the vessels mind of my fear
Wipe her mind
Clean her thoughts
Cleanse her dreams
This is my will so mote it be
No longer able to keep it open, I let my eyelid blanket me in darkness. My heart sputtered.
Once. Twice. A third time. Then nothing.
Epilogue
An hour before dawn, New Years Day.
Luka rolled onto his back and groaned. The inside of his mouth felt like a desert that
something crawled into and died. Moving his tongue around, he gathered as much saliva as
he could and swallowed. Big mistake since the action jarred the marching band playing inside
his head. He reached up and rubbed away the sleep and exhaustion clinging to his face. He
couldnt remember how many bottles of gin hed downed.
Shit! He sat up then groaned again, cradling his pounding head in his hands. Luka had
drunk himself into oblivion once beforedays after the Traditionalists staged a coup against
his father. He remembered every stupid thing hed said and done then the same way he
remembered tonight. Hed messed up. Royally messed up.
The door to his room blew open with so much force he thought the wood would splinter
into a thousand pieces. A seed of hope grew in his chest anyway, thinking the commotion
came from the woman hed hurt because of his drunken ramblings. He was prepared to
apologize profusely to her.
Unfortunately for him, his sister stomped to where he sat. She still wore that ridiculous
carnevale costume shed chosen for the party. The pucker between her eyebrows and the heat
in her eyes dotted cold sweat across Lukas forehead. He could feel the blood draining from
his face with each step she took toward him.
The slap came fast and furious. The impact reverberated inside the silence. Lukas already
hung over head whipped to the side. He grunted at the new pain mixing with the old. He
reached up and covered the hand print already rising on his cheek.
I deserved that, he mumbled, facing a quietly stewing Yana.
His sister bared her teeth at him when she said, She left! What the hell did you say that
made her leave? I thought you had this taken cared off? I thought she was supposed to take
the contract extension.
She left?
As if you already didnt know?
At the risk of angering Yana further, Luka shook his head. Ive been here the whole time,
sleeping off the alcohol.
She paced at the foot of his bed. What made you get drunk anyway?
Guilt more than nausea twisted inside Lukas gut. I messed up.
You think? she shrieked, her eyes shooting hot pokers of accusation at him without
slowing her pacing. What the hell did you do?
Luka dropped his hand from his cheek along with his gaze. Having his sister lecture him
must be the most emasculating thing hed ever been through. But he sucked it up. She
needed to know if they were to fix this.
I might have told her about Phoenix, he forced himself to say.
The answering shriek made Luka wish he hadnt woken up until most of the alcohol had
left his system. He winced, kneading the pounding in his left eye. Being half drunk didnt help his case
at all. It fuzzed up his brain enough to prevent him from focusing on more than one
thing. Right now all he could think about was this moment with his sister or his head might
explode.
Yana stopped her pacing and slapped her thighs. Of all the stupid, idiotic things She
took a deep, calming breath and let it out slowly. Luka, youre better than this! Phoenix is
now with Demitri. Deal with it!
But
No! No buts. She wagged a finger at him. I let you postpone the tour because we could
all use a break from the drama. Little did I know that the postponement would lead us to
something big, assuming Im right about her. Everything should have been smooth sailing yet
you let your childishness get in the way. Well, not anymore. Ill think of a way to get her back, but you
need to get your shit together for this to work. Yanas anger melted away with the
drooping of her shoulders. Sadness weighed down the corners of her lips. This is not the
Luka I know. Put yourself back together, brother. We need you. Now, get out of that bed. The
rebirth ceremony is about to start.
Luka fell back into bed only to stare at the ceiling when Yana left. Yes, he hadnt been
himself and he let his toxic feelings get in the way. Hed acted in a way unbecoming of his
stature. His father would be so proud to be proven right about him.
Dakota, he whispered her name as if the power in the word would bring her back. He
knew better than that.
He didnt care about who Yana thought Dakota was. To Luka, she was something much
more. He just didnt realize it until hed hurt her, and now he might have lost her forever.
Sitting up, Luka pushed off the bed. He wouldnt accept defeat. She might be hurting right
now, but it didnt mean he couldnt make this right. He had to try. He had to bring her back.
The car ride to Lunar Manor raised his suspicions about her. When she slept on his
shoulder and began to dream he attempted to see what she was seeing. When something
blocked his attempts to walk into her dream, he told Yana about it and theyd been keeping an
eye on Dakota ever since, but nothing really happened. Only that Luka couldnt enter her
dreams. It frustrated him to no end. For many nights, Yana and Luka theorized about her, not
really finding an answer until Luka accidentally mentioned Dakotas scars. Yana became
convinced, to the point of obsession, about Dakotas true identity then.
Luka needed more proof if he was to believe Yana. He hurried to an armoire and collected
a bronze bowl. Entering the living room of his quarters, he placed the bowl on the coffee table and sat
on the couch. He needed to hurry if he wanted to get this right and not be late for the ceremony. He
didnt need another reason for Yana to be even more pissed at him.
With a wave of his hand, the bowl filled a quarter of the way with water. A snap of his
fingers later, flames danced on the waters surface. Staring into the orange tongues, he
reached inside his pocket and produced a picture of Dakota hed taken without her knowing.
He stared at her face. It was caught on a smile, the corner of her eye crinkling. Running out of time,
Luka placed the photo into the flames. As its edges blackened and the image curled into
itself, he recited three times:
Ancient power within me,
I call upon thee.
Hear my plea.
I push my limit to cross over consciousness
into these unknown realms to me and myself.
Only I shall discover the way to unlock her dreams.
So mote it be.
So mote it be.
So mote it be.
A gust of wind from the open terrace doors snuffed out the flames. The water drained,
leaving the ashes the photo of Dakota had become. The gray flecks spiraled out of the bowl to
dance in front of Luka before leaving through the terrace into the darkest part of the night. A small grin
spread across his face as he pushed up from the couch and sauntered out of his
room to meet the rest of the band at the lake.
~See you in Book 2~
Relish Sneak Peek
Luka Visrayathe handsome rock god that I carelessly let into my heart. I deserved the
pulsing pain in my chest. I knew better and yet I didnt listen to my gut. I ignored all the red flags. Of
course he was in love with someone else. Of course!
I let a tear fall when the scene of Luka singing to me while I lay asleep on a concrete slab came on.
I should have known the whole song was a metaphor for his love for Phoenix. How
shed become poison in his veins after she left him for Demitri. The dress with the feathers
should have tipped me off too. Phoenix equaled bird that flew from the ashes, the very tattoo
Luka had inked all over his back. Ugh! I hated myself.
Im beginning to think you cant start your day without watching that stupid video.
Exhaling a shuddering breath, I closed my eye just as Luka leaned in to kiss me and wiped
away my tears. I sniffed and straightened my shoulders.
Its not a stupid video, I said, looking up at the classically handsome guy with bed head
grinning down at me.
Just because youre in it. He bent and claimed my lips. I tasted the coffee with its cream
and sugar on his tongue. I grimaced and pushed him away playfully.
You put way too much sugar in your coffee, Larry.
Yes. I rebounded on Laurel Hardy, the editor-in-chief of the Daily Gossip, our ironically
named college paper. I insisted on no strings attached and he agreed. Now he spent most
nights at my apartment, and I let him because I couldnt stand sleeping alone. The dreamsI
shook my head. I needed someone to be there when I woke up. I needed the warmth of
another body beside me, the feel of hands on my body, the oblivion an orgasm brought. I got
all of that from Larry for the low, low price of $9.99.
Another thing to hate Luka for. In thirty days hed made me codependent. The guilt of
using Larry for my comfort twisted in my gut. Larry knew this. Id made it clear from the
start. Still he stayed. I got the feeling he suspected my recklessness with his feelings came
from my stay with Vicious. Hed been the one to help me with the NDA, so when I got back
broken he must have put the two together.
Larry snorted at my criticism of his taste in morning pick-me-ups. Miss Sweet Tooth? I
dont get why youre drinking your coffee straight up these days. You used to put at least
three packets of the white stuff in your mug.
Dont make me sound like a sugar addict. I stared into the dregs of my cup. In the
background, the video had ended, displaying smaller screens featuring other Vicious music
videos. I curled my fingers to suppress the need to click Replay.
Alright, he sighed out, smoothing down my hair in a sweet caress. I get it. I wont push.
Thanks, I mumbled, not really feeling the gratitude today. That fucking dream, man, it
messed something up in me.
Want another cup?
I offered him my mug, doing my best Oliver Twist impression. He chuckled and sauntered
to my kitchen in just his boxers. I took a second to admire his ass before minimizing the
YouTube browser. I cued up my photo manipulation software, ready for another long day.
Why are you up so early anyway? Its not even six. I asked as I pulled up one of Drays
splatter drumming photos. Id been tweaking the tinting for the past two days. I needed to get it right
soon or I wouldnt have time for the rest of the photos before I brought them to
Eddys for framing.
I have to head to the library before my first class and check out a couple of law books for
my debate this week, Larry replied over his shoulder. He puttered about in the kitchen and
soon the sizzle of eggs and the scent of cooking bacon reached me. Hows the project going?
Slow. I grumbled curses under my breath.
The Spring Showcase opened the first of March and ran a week. Then I would have to
defend my introspective to a panel consisting of the dean and several photography
luminaries. My heartbeat sped up from zero to sixty at the thought. I had a week to finish
everything. Framing took another week, and that was cutting it close because Eddy loved me.
He wouldnt do anyone else that kind of favor. Id frame the pictures myself if I didnt have to write
the paper that actually went with the pictures. In ten pages I needed to explain the
theme behind the introspective and my driving force for the images. I could actually feel time slipping
away between my fingers. I had so much to do.
I get that you want the pictures to turn out perfect, but at some point you need to let go
and let your talent speak for itself.
Easy for you to say, I muttered.
I heard that.
I didnt flinch at the admonition in Larrys tone. Hed already been accepted to several of
the top law schools in the country. He had his pick, so I found it hypocritical of him to tell me to let
go when he poured over countless pro and con lists every night. I kept telling him to
pick one already. Did he listen to me? About as much as I listened to him.
Come on. He waved me over to the table hed set. You get cranky and attack my lists
when youre hungry.
Chagrined at being called out for speaking my mind, I pushed away from my desk and
shuffled the couple of feet to the kitchen. Arent you cold walking around without a robe
on? I pulled out a chair before he could pull it out for me and flopped down. I had a strip of bacon in
my mouth by the time Larry replied.
Im taking one for the team. He treated me to a half-smile. I know how much you like
staring at my asssets.
I threw my bacon at him. It bounced off his chest to land on his lap. He picked it up and
popped it into his mouth, still grinning. I guzzled down half my second cup of coffee when
Larrys next question caused me to swallow wrong.
What? I sputtered, swiping coffee off my chin.
He rolled his eyes at me. Dont pretend like you didnt hear me.
I did hear you, hence the choking. I pushed my half-eaten breakfast away. You know
this thing between us isnt anything.
For a second I thought I noticed hurt in his eyes before he blinked it away. What does
having dinner out once in a while have to do with what we have?
What you have in mind awfully sounds like a date to me. I ignored my conscience
reprimanding me for being a cold bitch. Yes, I would be going to hell for what I was putting
Larry through. I should really just cut him loose, but my mental instability wouldnt let me. I had to get
through these two weeks in one piece if I wanted to graduate. I needed him to get
me through. Im not ready for that.
Its just dinner, Dakota. He played off his seriousness by shrugging nonchalantly.
I know you. I sighed. I know that dinner isnt just dinner for you. This, I gestured at
him and me, cant go any further than what we have. After I graduate Im off to travel the
world and youll be in law school.
The relaxed air around him dissipated the second tension entered his shoulders. Then
maybe we should break things off now. I mean, its headed that way from what youre telling
me, right?
I flinched then and reached for his hand across the table, but he moved it away. Laurel.
Dont Laurel me, Dakota. He pushed away from the table and stood up. It was hard to
take him seriously in just his boxers, but I bit down on the joke begging to leave my lips. Not a time to
be funny. I get that you cant talk about what happened to you last year, but its
clear you didnt get out unscathed. I see the hurt on your face.
Whatever youre thinking, its not like that.
You call out his name in your sleep.
Kate Evangelista
When Kate Evangelista was told she had a knack for writing stories, she did the next best
thing: entered medical school. After realizing she wasn't going to be the next Doogie Howser,
M.D., Kate wandered into the Literature department of her university and never looked back.
Today, she is in possession of a piece of paper that says to the world she owns a Literature
degree. To make matters worse, she took Master's courses in creative writing. In the end, she
realized to be a writer, none of that had mattered. What really mattered? Writing. Plain and
simple, honest to God, sitting in front of her computer, writing. Today, she lives in the
Philippines and writes full-time.
Please visit her at www.kateevangelista.com
Document Outline
Title page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Epilogue
Relish Sneak Peek
Kate Evangelista