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The Princesses of Darkness-
Book 1:
Beauty and the Beast
There be three great mysteries in life, and magic controls them all. To fulfill love, you must
return again at the same time and at the same place as the loved ones; and you must meet, and
know, and remember, and love them again. But to be reborn, you must die, and be made ready
for a new body. And to die, you must be born; but without love, you may not be born.
Gerald Gardner

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Part 1- Birth
There are many in this world who are blinded by outward appearances. They equate a pretty
face with a sweet nature. They are led astray by false promises mistaking beauty for a beast and
vice versa based on few facts and many wild fantasies. As a child I watched my three sisters
change from scrawny girls into beautiful young women. I watched them weave spells with a bat
of a lash and then break hearts with no more thought than one gives to the kicking of a pebble.
The three of them became cruel not only toward the world outside but toward our father and me
as well. I would hear them whisper that I was jealous of their beauty and of the hearts they broke.
What they never guessed at in their vain assumptions was that rather than envy it was pity I felt
toward them. A beautiful face rarely lasts forever but if you keep your heart pure, if you look
past appearances and you ignore what others might say; it is possible for anyone born of this
earth to find a love that will last until time itself stands still.
I had learned many lessons from those around me by my seventeenth year. My mother had
been dead and gone six years, my father suddenly seemed old as if age was a condition that
snuck up on him in the middle of the night, and two of my three sisters had already sealed their
fates with men as different as night and day. One was a young lord rich in title alone. He was
cruel and cold and my oldest sister Adelaide was miserable living with a character so like her
own. My other sister, the one closest to me in age, married a very rich man who worshipped her
as if she were a goddess in the flesh. To him she gave nothing but harsh words and bitter jeers
but he seemed trapped in her web.
I myself had become beautiful I was told but even if I had wanted to dwell on this fact I had
no time. My father, the only man I had ever loved, was dying by the hour and of his four children
I was the only one that would tend to him. The hours of work on his behalf were nothing
compared with the pain I felt as he grew weaker, paler, and smaller with each day that passed.
When at last the disease took him from me it was close to Christmas and a snow storm had
blown into the French countryside unlike any other I had seen before it. My dear father could not
be buried until it had passed and I could not bear to be trapped inside of our small home with a
rude ninny and the body of a man I loved more than the waking world.
You cannot leave me alone with a corpse! Where will you go in this mess? My sister Agnes
demanded as I pulled my fathers coat on over my own. All of my life I had been a good girl,
doing what was expected, seeing the best in people even if they had little to offer in that regard.
When my mother passed I vowed to be good to my sisters, no matter their crimes against me, and
I promised myself I would stay home always to assist father as a son might have if any had lived
that long. But with my father lying still in the same bed where mother took her last breath and we
girls took our first, I felt a crazy painful freedom rise up inside of me. It was the sort that comes
with having nothing in this world left to lose.
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Agnes, I have wasted too much of my time on you already. You have many suitors as you
are fond of pointing out. I doubt they will leave you here for long. Any of them would brave hell
and a blizzard with it to prove their adoration. Goodbye and good luck, sister. I hope life brings
us just what we deserve.
In truth I had no idea where I was going or what I would do when I left my home in a dead
mans coat. The snow was flying so hard and so fast that I couldnt see my hand before me and,
best of all, I really had nowhere in the world to go. The only plan I could think of as I started off
was to follow the light of the moon. It was full that night and incredibly bright despite the storm.
It was the only thing one could see for the storm. In my moment of grief induced insanity that
was as good a plan as any.
I walked on when my feet went numb, I walked on when my hands began to burn from the
wind, I walked on when my chest burned and breathing became a chore. Finally when the trees
cleared and I was able to see a large structure before me the world began to fade out. I tried so
hard to keep going knowing that if I stopped, if my body dropped where it stood, I would freeze
to death. But I had eaten nothing in three days, I had not a drop of water that day at all, and I had
gone farther from my home than ever before. Everything did not go black all at once. There was
a gradual fading out and then the world was simply there no more.
When I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was a roaring fire set in a fireplace larger than
any I had ever seen before. My first thought was the same of many who survive death: I believed
I was dead. I thought I had entered another world. Then I tried to stand. I realized two important
facts at once; the first was that I had been stripped down to my bare flesh and the second was that
I had been chained to the cold stone wall. Instantly I knew that I had lived and I feared that I was
spared only to die at the hands of another. There was but one thing to do. I screamed louder and
longer than ever before.
A man, obviously the master of the house, came in followed by a chambermaid. It took me a
moment to register that the girl was in the room because as soon as I laid eyes on him the rest of
the world faded away. I had seen plenty of boys and men in my life but never had I seen a man
so beautiful, soenchanting. I forgot that I was naked, I forgot the manacles upon my wrists,
and I lost myself completely in his strange dark eyes. They were forest green, unlike any color I
had come across in my life. And his skin was so white it looked almost translucent. Despite the
death white of his flesh, his hair was black as coal and as long and well-kept as my sisters.
Who are you? He demanded in an icy tone.
I forgot that it was I who should be indignant and I whispered apologetically, Arianne.
Why did you come here?
This question confused me. I am not even sure where here is, sir. I replied.
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Instead of coming forward to free me and offering me some clothes, perhaps a spot by the
fire, he pulled up a heavy looking chair with one hand. His eyes never left mine but this is
something I only noticed later. Here would be the estate upon which you were found
unconscious and nearly frozen to death. Anymore time spent out there and we would not be
having this conversation. Instead I would be burying a body.
No, you wouldnt.
Beg pardon? His raised eyebrow was so condescending that it brought me back to my
situation. My anger was frozen in my veins until that moment. Now it was flowing through me
like liquid flame.
My throat burned badly from thirst but I managed to get out, The ground is too hard right
now to break so you wouldnt be burying my bodyat least not for a while. I need water.
And what will you give me in return?
I wanted to hate him. I would have given anything to feel disgust along with my anger but try
as I might I could find none. I will refrain from telling the townspeople that a madman chained
me to his wall.
Very well. There was a faint smile at his lips as he gestured toward the girl. It was then that
I saw her standing there. Cherise, get ourguest some water please.
But sir!
Turning around to glare at her, he seethed, Find some!
What was that supposed to mean? If this was the place I had seen before I fainted surely he
had something as common as a well. Clothes? My throat was too dry, my voice barely a
whisper. But he heard me.
They were soaked from the snow. It fell so fastWell, you know how it was. You were
foolish enough to go walking in it. Which makes me wonderare you a madwoman, Arianne, or
are you a
The chambermaid returned before he could finish his sentence. Freshly melted snow, miss. It
is nice and cool. I hope it suits you.
I was accepting the water she ladled from the bucket and poured into my mouth. Nothing had
ever tasted sweeter. When I had my fill I backed away from her hand and I turned all of my
attention toward the man that I now knew as my captor. Please free me. I will tell you how I
came to be here and when I do you shall see that I mean you no harm.
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No. Tell me why you were on this land, this estate, which no others besides my family and I
have been on in centuries, and then I will consider freeing youfrom the chains anyway. After
tonight I may never be able to let you leave my home.
I should have begged him to release me from it all, not just the restraints that bound me to a
bitter wall of stone. But instead I looked at him and I replied in a voice I barely recognized,
What would that matter to me? I have no place to go.
Splendid! Something sinister, vicious, flashed across those strange eyes of his and for a
moment I felt true fear. My survival instincts, however, warned me to hide this fear at all costs.
Could I get some clothes, sir? I tried to make my tone as cold as the look he had a moment
earlier but I could not tell if I succeeded.
Clothes are hard to slip over chains and cuffs so you will get those as well after you tell me
how you came to be here. He let me dangle on his words knowing, perhaps, that I would feel
the cold at my back even more since this comfort had been denied me; that I would watch his
gaze as it slid over my body and feel the intensity there. Then he stood and grabbed a throw from
one of the sofas in the grand room and in a moment of tenderness he came to me and wrapped it
around my body the best he could. Better? I would have said yes to anything if it meant he
would move away, for in that moment I felt a pang of lust for the first time in my life. Great!
Now where were we? Ah, yesyou were about to explain to me why I shouldnt shoot you for
trespassing.
I disguised my fear with a weapon I hadnt known I possessed until that nightsarcasm. Oh,
is that all? I thought you wanted to know how I ended up here. Well, sir, you shouldnt shoot me
because if the rest of your homeor shall I call it a castle?...looks anything like this room you
will make a mess of your finery. Brains, blood, and all of that. No matter where you aim there is
bound to be a disaster for the maids to clean and I doubt they will be thrilled about it. The maids
tell the cooks youve wronged them, the cook puts the wrong ingredient in your soup, and your
wife gets this great big house all to herself. A real tragedy.
His laughter both surprised me and it eased my mind because it was pure, genuine, like
sunlight and roses. Something inside of me knew that it was all that remained of the man he once
was but at the time I didnt understand what this meant. There is no wife, my staff would kill
for me, and I would eliminate the mess by shooting you outside. You have spirit, though, even
under these conditions and I appreciate that. Anything else?
No, I am afraid that is all I had. My only request is that you bury me as soon as you can. I do
not want animals eating me for a midday meal. I felt almost possessed as I spoke. This was not
the girl I had been two days before, the devoted daughter, the vigilant sister, the quiet mouse that
said nothing out of the way. Had my fathers death truly driven me to insanity or was it possible
that I had shed my former self like a dead skin as soon as I walked out of my fathers door?
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Either one could be a possibility but neither one felt right. They didnt feel honest. What seemed
most likely as I sat there was that this man had come from nowhere, he saved me like the white
knight in the old tales, and now he held me spellbound in a place of enchantment. I tried to shake
my head against the farfetched idea but I could not. It was wrapped around me tighter than any
blanket and it kept me just as warm.
I dont think I will do that at all. At the very least, I will not shoot you for a rodents lunch
until Ive heard you out. Whator whobrought you here?
It wasnt until that moment that I realized I was afraid to tell my story. It all seemed like such
a dream to me now and I was afraid if I spoke about it I would awake again in my fathers small
house beside of his pale corpse. But the man was growing impatient and I could tell already that,
innocent laugh or not, he was not a person to leave hanging. It was my father that led me here;
or rather, it was his death. He was the only person in this life that loved me, the only person I
truly love, and last night when he drew his last breath I decided I had nothing to lose and no
reason to stay and prolong my pain watching the flesh rot from his body until the snow melted
and the ground softened enough for a proper burial. I had no place to go so I just walked. By the
time I got here I was too weak to go on. I thought I would die out there if I fell but there was
nothing left in me. I would be dead if not for you and I do thank you for that. I am forever in
your debt, monsieur.
First, let me say that by the time all is said and done, you may not feel so grateful. I should
tell you that you were stupid for doing what you did last night. You were. Dont misread me on
that point. But I am no stranger to pain or grief. I understand why you fled even if it was almost
your last mistake. Now, that will be all for tonight. Cherise will show you to your room. It seems
I now have some business to attend to.
But
What is it now? Clothes? She will have some for you. A hot bath perhaps? She can draw one
for you.
I am very hungry, sir. Could I get a meal?
Damn! He swore in a way that made me think he would tell me to go to hell. Can you wait
until the morning? You will have anything your stomach desires. The cook will not be available
to you until evening; we keep odd hours you see, but you may avail yourself to anything you
need. Is that well enough?
Yes, thank you. I said simply though there were many questions I wanted to ask.
He moved to take his leave but when he reached the doors he stopped and turned back toward
me. Do you have any siblings, Arianne?
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Yes, I have three sisters. Two are married and one lives at home. I was so confused that I
never thought to question his reasoning behind this inquiry.
His smile was again as sharp as a steal blade. Thank you.
As soon as he left the room, the chambermaid came in carrying a dressing gown and a key.
Everyone has eaten for the night so Master says to set you free. She explained vaguely but
with a warm smile.
Instead of questions I only smiled in return as her ice cold hands did their part to free me from
my chains. I rubbed my wrists a moment before she handed me the gown and gestured toward a
screen that I could use to dress privately. I found it odd that a dressing screen should be sitting in
a parlor and just as strange that she should offer it to me as she was looking at me naked. But
again I kept quiet going behind the partition to dress while making casual conversation. Your
accentyou speak French well but is that English I hear in your words?
Yes, it is. Do you know any English?
People or words? I asked with a chuckle as I fought to button myself with numb hands.
Because Ive met a few young men from England, soldiers they were, in the village when I was
younger. The language I am fluent in.
Suddenly she stood before me assisting me with the gown as if I had already asked. You
are? She questioned, switching from my native tongue to her own.
Yes as well as Spanish, Italian, German, some Russian
Greek? Her eyes lit up with enthusiasm and my guess at that moment was that learning
Greek was a lifelong dream of hers. Then I remembered myself. Most girls I knew could barely
write their names, let alone speak a language so foreign to us.
Yes, Greek as well, and Latin. My father schooled me as he would have a son. If there was
something he wanted me to learn that he could not teach, he found someone who could.
The Master shall be pleased at that. Greece is where hes from, you see. I cant understand
him when he has a fit but now
What do you mean, when he has a fit? I asked, following her out of the room and into a
large hall. Paintings hung on the walls but there wasnt enough light for me to get a good look at
them.
Oh, aye. Hes got a temper on him. He can be the kindest creature that ever lived but if you
cross himhes a shouter for sure. Sometimes he breaks things. But he would never hurt a soul.
His bark is worse than his bite.
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We were outside a room and Cherise smiled, pride lighting up her eyes. When she opened the
door I understood why. That one room was bigger than the whole house I spent my life in. The
bed was a four poster, cherry wood, and the bed curtains were made from real velvet. The silver
vanity, the ornate wardrobes, the lace curtains on the massive floor-length windows would have
fed my entire village for years. I was half afraid to touch anything. This is where he wants me?
I asked in disbelief.
Thats what he says. He also told me to pass along the message that hell have a tailor for
you on the morrow to make you up some clothes.
Make me clothes? That wont be necessary. Im not staying. Until that moment I had no
thought of leaving but the way she spoke made me feel like a bird trapped in a gilded cage.
Her face changed suddenly and for a moment I felt my body shiver with fear. Oh no, Miss,
youve got this all wrong! The Master might treat you like a guest but he will not let you go until
he knows why youve come and you will not leave here until the Master lets you go.
I sought to hide my fear behind indignation as I marched to the door we recently came
through. He may be your master but he is not mine and I will leave when I damned well
please! I turned the knob slowly only to find that Cherise had locked it. Again I faced her with
my hands on my hips and I demanded, What is this master of yours? Some sort of madman?
Does he have a collection of lost people all throughout his palace?
No, not at all! I assure you, it is nothing like that! He is private and very leery of the
townspeople. He has traveled the world over and he has not been welcomed, not even in his
home. People do not visit him and he has no people that he visits. You are the first guest we have
had since we came to this place and that was a century ago.
I brushed off her final statement as a figure of speech as I sulked toward the bed. For the
moment I was resigned to my fate and I watched the young woman build a fire in the massive
fireplace across the room. Perhaps no one likes him because he is not a likeable person.
The girls laughter was genuine and for a moment it made me smile. It isnt like that at all.
He is actually wonderful to have on your side. But few people understand him and fewer even
try. They see his temper, his eccentricities, and they shun him. Between you and me, I think it
hurts him to have so many people turn their backs on him every place he goes.
She was standing next to me now and she had lowered her voice as if she were sharing a
secret with an old friend. If her intention was to make me feel empathy toward this stranger she
failed. It might help his case a bit if he refrained from taking townsfolk prisoner. Since I have
no way out I might as well ask his name. I may have no choice in my stay but I will not call him
master. I would rather not speak to him at all.
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So like him to forget a proper introduction. His name is Lucania but those close to him call
him Luke.
And the rest of you call him Master? I asked. I was desperately trying to get an idea of the
situation I found myself in. The place was like a dream but the circumstances were more like a
nightmare and I was again thinking that perhaps I had died and I was now in some sort of
purgatory.
No. I alone call him that. If you knew the life he saved me from you might better understand.
He took me from a miserable life and he gave me a new existence. He asked nothing in return for
all of his kind deeds. It was I who made myself available to him as a maid. It was the only skill I
had back then and it was the least I could do. Somewhere in the distance a clock chimed the
hour and she jumped as if startled. Ive chatted too long. I must go but Mother will be along
shortly to see to your bath.
Mother? I questioned.
Again Cherise flashed her angelic smile. Yes. She is like a mother to us all.
I was left alone with my thoughts for an hour and in that time I went through a range of
emotions unlike any I had known before. I expected the anger at my predicament. I had done
nothing, after all, to deserve being locked up. I wasnt surprised by my sorrow either. I had not
yet been given time to grieve for the man I loved above all else and a part of me hadnt accepted
yet that he was truly gone. The emotion that caught me off guard, the one that rose from a place
inside of me I was unaware of, was the bitterness. Despite what Cherise told me I was beginning
to believe that if I wasnt dead already, I would be by the time Master Luke was finished with
me. And what living had I done? I had never traveled, I had never attended a party or a ball, I
had never had a suitor, and my lips were still unkissed. All of my life until then I had given to
others and I vowed to myself that if I beat the odds and I made it out of that castle alive I would
dance, I would sing, and I would never again hand over my days on earth to another to spend.
When the woman everyone called Mother came for me my gratitude was great. I feared that
if I spent any more time with myself I would start to go a little mad. I looked at her and I was
stunned by her age and her beauty. If she were a mother, she was unlike any I had seen before.
Her eyes were dark as night, her hair was long and black, but like Cherise and Luke, her skin was
as white as marble. Are you ready for your bath, child? She asked. Her voice was so soothing
it felt like I could drown in it. Instead I nodded yes. Follow me.
She was a woman of few words. I noticed that right away. She said nothing at all as she led
me down the hall a bit to a lavatory. The room was pure white and it included a mirror and a
basin, a steaming tub big enough for two, and a chamber pot in a corner. I had heard people talk
of rooms like these, a place to bathe and do your private business without the cold of an outdoor
toilet or the gracelessness of an old tin tub. This was the first such room I had ever seen and it
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took my breath away. This room is also yours. Like the water you drank, your tub is filled with
melted snow heated to warm your skin. Our well has frozen up in this storm so that is all the
water we have. Get in when you are ready.
I was encouraged by her words and I thought I might learn more about my mysterious captor
after all. I was silent as I climbed into the tub and for a moment I sat enjoying the hot water on
my skin. When Mother gently put my head back so she might wash my hair I asked, How did
you meet Luke?
I was his nurse. I raised him. She said simply. Her words shocked me. She looked far too
young to have raised the man I met. As if reading my mind, she said, I was a child when he was
born. My family was servants to his and he was put in my charge. I am not like the girl, Arianne.
If you wish to know more about Lucania you must wait until tomorrow evening and ask him.
Now put your head back. I need to rinse.
I went to sleep that night hungry but warm. My door had been locked behind me and I did my
part not to think of this fact. I wasnt sure how I could be so tired after all the time I spent
sleeping in my chains but I was indeed exhausted. I had planned to stay awake until I heard the
hoof beats of Lukes horse announcing his arrival home but when I lay down on that mattress of
feathers and I closed the velvet curtains around me my eyes grew too heavy to hold open and I
could fight sleep no more.

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Chapter 2
I slept late into the morning and when I woke I was again left to process all that happened the
night before. The bed was black as night around me and this did nothing to clear my confusion.
Remembering the bed curtains, I opened them and I was blinded by the sunlight pouring in.
Nothing had ever looked as beautiful as that room bathed in the frosty glow of morning. Unable
to resist, I pulled the blanket around me to ward off the chill and I walked over to the three
windows that made up the south side of my cell. Looking out over the grounds I realized for the
first time how large Lucanias estate was and how high it stood above the town. I was perched on
a hill that was nearly a mountain and to look from the third floor of the castle out upon the
grounds was to feel as if you stood on the edge of the world. For the first time in months I felt
my lips curl up in a genuine smile and I felt again that crazy thrill of freedom.
I walked back toward the bed intent on making it when I noticed a note set upon a beautifully
bound book. My hand trembled a little as I lifted the white piece of paper and saw Lukes
signature scrolled across the bottom. This mysterious man that had left me chained naked to a
wall, that had ordered even my own room to be locked against my escape, had come in while I
was sleeping and stood just feet from where I lay. Anger again washed over me at the hypocrisy
of it. I wasnt free to leave the room without his consent but he was free to come in without
mine? I almost ripped up his words in my fury but in the end curiosity won out. How could I
help reading what he had to say? Arianne, the kitchen has been stocked with all you need. Eggs
and milk are in the cellar. You are free to use what you wish and we will meet this evening for a
proper tour of the house. My eyes drifted past his name to his message at the bottom. I bought a
diary for you to keep. In times of hardship sometimes one finds peace in words.
I lifted the blue book up and I found that it was bound with empty pages waiting for my story.
It was perhaps the most thoughtful gift anyone had ever given me and it further confused my
emotions toward the man that gave it. He had signed my full name on the cover and it took me a
long time to realize I had never told him any but my first.
When I turned the knob on the heavy door it opened easily. Because I had no idea where the
kitchen was, I headed first to the lavatory and then I went off exploring. Being the third floor, I
never expected to find a kitchen there but I went looking anyway. Every unfamiliar door I came
to was locked, the hall was still dark as night, but there was sunlight streaming in at the end of
the hall. Having no other place to go, I followed it and what I came upon was the largest kitchen
I had ever seen. I said I never expected to find one there but it was not unusual. I had heard my
sisters talk of estates with six or seven kitchens in them. The tales that once seemed fanciful all
looked as if they were true after all.
The cellar Luke referred to in the note was not a cellar at all. It was a small pantry of sorts
made of brick that was kept cold by the weather outside, its position in the room, and its distance
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from the stove. I did find eggs, milk, and meat stored within. It never occurred to me to wonder
where he found food at the late hour he left. I suppose I assumed he stole it. The kitchen was as
marvelous to me as my room, the parlor, and the lavatory. It was all white save for the stove,
there were two large windows to the west and one small window to the east and it was so clean
that it looked as though it had never been used. There was no dining room and no table to set up
anywhere but there were high chairs around an island in the center of the room. Considering the
disposition of the homes master I wasnt surprised by this anymore than I was by the fact that all
of the dried foods were left upon the island. He has probably never put food away in his life, I
mused to myself with a grin. I was still smiling at the thought of him while I started the fire to
cook.
After I finished my meal and cleaned up the mess I needed something else to do. The entire
place was silent around me and loneliness was threatening to creep into my soul. I was used to
people, voices, always having the sound of another living soul nearby and it was the silence of
being completely alone that forced me to remember the situation I was in. Again I decided to
explore, heading down the hall opposite the way I came, past the lavatory, my room, the parlor,
and the many locked doors in between. I did not think twice about going down the circular
staircase I came to although I almost knew what I would find on the second floor.
It was dark and dusty and there was no grand kitchen to light the way to the end of the hall.
Instead there were more locked doors, more paintings on the walls for only the bats to see, and
another staircase leading down to the first floor. Again I took my chances hoping I would find
something down there to occupy my day.
At first there was only more darkness when I stepped down and my heart sank until I realized
I was standing in a parlor. Sunlight was streaming in broken patches through the bottom of long
thick curtains and the holes that each set had. I breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that it was
curtains and not shutters which blocked the light. But I gasped at what I found when I turned
toward the room once more. From floor to ceiling it looked as if no one had touched it in a
decade or more. The layers of dust were so thick upon the mantle, the mirrors, and the canvases
that it looked like the snow upon the ground outside. Cobwebs were in every corner and a large
spider web hung down from the center of the high ceiling. Some of the furniture had been
stacked up chair on top of chair and table on top of that in various places in the room and the
upholstery had holes from the mice like the canvases that covered all the rest. Just in the ruined
things alone there was probably more money than my poor dead father had made in a year and
Luke, spoilt brat that he obviously was, had let it rot without a second thought. When you work
hard and youve little to show for it waste makes you angry and as I walked through that part of
the first floor opening curtains and finding the same mess of waste and neglect I was furious!
In a closet by the first floor kitchen I found all that I needed to clean and in the kitchen itself I
found multiple buckets of water. I had no idea where they came from or what they were for. I
intended to use them how I wished. I scrubbed past lunch time, I dusted long into the afternoon,
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and I was sweeping when evening came. I found candles scattered around the first floor, unused
and sitting in filthy candelabras. I cleaned them up when the shadows started to fall and I used
matches for the fires to bring them to life. I only finished the sitting room and the massive
entryway leading in from the front doors but I was proud of the work I had done. I gave no
thought to the masters reaction to what I had done. As far as I was concerned, he should have
never let his home get in such a state of disrepair in the first place.
What in hells name has she done? The first sound of his voice coming in the front door
with the cold made my heart beat a little faster. I couldnt admit, even to myself, that a part of me
had waited for him all day. What has she done? Arianne! He shouted my name so loud that it
shook the glass things on the mantle.
I stood prepared for a fight. His tone told me he was less than pleased and when he entered
the parlor with Mother and Cherise behind him, the look on his face proved my suspicions. I am
right here, Lucania! You dont have to shout! What I have done is a thing that should have been
done long ago. It is called cleaning. With all of these rooms it is unreasonable to leave Cherise to
do it alone. She could never keep up. Even if Mother helped, it would be too much. You need an
entire staff like all estate lords have. Until you acquire that, pick up a rag and do something!
The eyes of the women behind him were large and from their reaction I did have a momentary
fear that I had gone too far. But I was determined to stand my ground. This floor is not cleaned
because I have no use for it. We have four among us, five counting you, so the third floor alone
is enough. I have no guests, I host no parties, why pay someone to keep up what one never
uses?
This new tone of his was soft and dark. I ignored the warning there as I shot back, Why have
what you never use at all? Sell this place and all of the things you deem useless within. Better
yet, since you are wealthy enough to throw your money away, give these beautiful things to
people in town that would appreciate them, people who work their fingers to the bone and could
still never afford your nice things! And you let them rot? You should be ashamed of yourself,
master!
You have no idea what you are talking about. That was his only reply and I thought it had
to sound hollow, even to him.
I know exactly what I am talking about! You have too much, you appreciate nothing, and
you have obviously never spent a day of your life as a mere human like the rest of us!
As I said, you have no idea what you are talking about. Now He moved so fast that I
didnt see him until I was slung over his back.
What are you doing? I cried out.
Im locking you up, little one. Isnt it obvious?
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When I thought of those chains upstairs, of the helpless feeling that would come over me if he
put those cuffs on my wrists once more I started to kick and shout at him. Put me down! Damn
it, unhand me you beastyou I had never called anyone a vicious name in my life but when I
realized I couldnt fight his grip and he was again putting the cold metal restraints against my
flesh, I seethed, You bastardyou son of a bitchyour mother probably wept the day she gave
birth to you!
When he had me secured against the stones in the parlor once more he looked in my eyes and
asked in a poisoned tone, Do you hate me yet, Arianne? Have you come to despise me so
soon?
Yes! I lied. Maybe it was not such a lie at that moment.
And what about fear? Have you finally learned to fear me, little girl?
What is there to fear, Lucania? You are nothing but a childa spoilt child! He nodded and
he sneered at me before walking away. I spent some of my time beating my hands against the
wall but all I got for my troubles were bloody knuckles. Again I felt resigned to endure what was
done and I went over all that had happened trying to discover what went wrong. I still felt
justified in my anger, I felt that it was he, not I, who was in the wrong, and I was determined to
make my escape as soon as an opportunity presented itself. I would teach the master a lesson he
would never forget. You cannot bind people to you through fear.
When Cherise walked in I noticed her eyes looked red around the rims and I could tell by her
expression that she had been crying. Oh, Miss, I am so sorry. He didnt mean for tonight to turn
out this way. He sent me to unchain you and to apologize
It is not your place to apologize for that bastard. He made this mess and he can damned well
clean it up for himself! She blinked down at me in surprise as she worked to uncuff me. I
assume its his fault youve been crying as well?
Remember what I told you about his temper and how he gets? Well, hes in a mood tonight.
But dont worry as hes in the middle of calming down right now. He asked me to take you to the
kitchen where Cook prepared a meal and after youve eaten Master will meet you in the parlor
downstairs. The tailor wont be coming tonight on account of the snow thats falling again so
you will have the night with Master to get to know him. I swear by tomorrow you will have a
changed mind where he is concerned.
I doubted that very much but I kept my mouth shut as I followed her down the almost familiar
hall to the kitchen. Cook, as everyone called him, was still sitting in the room looking perplexed
at a plate of burned Eggs Benedict. I am sorry it did not turn out so well, Miss. I am rusty with a
stove and I am not used to making such dishes. Luke is no help. He has never made a meal in his
life
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I sat down, resigned to eat the eggs no matter how bad they might be. Did I find it strange that
there was a cook in the house who could not actually cook? I just came from chains on a wall.
Nothing surprised me about Lukes household. This smells wonderful, Sir, and you neednt
cook for me at all. I could always make my own meals.
You cook? The man asked, his eyes lighting up. I couldnt help but notice that he looked
out of place. Not just in the kitchen but in the entire world as I knew it. We could work
together, you and me. You can teach me what you know and I could show you some dishes of
the Mediterranean.
I smiled at him. Like Cherise, I adored Cook right away. Mother was like Luke, very guarded
and mysterious. But Cook was a kind old soul. I would like that very much. If it suits you well
start tomorrow evening.
With that settled, Cook went on his way and I finished my meal in silence. I left Cherise
behind when it was time to make my way downstairs. I handled her masters temper far better
than she and I thought her nerves had been upset enough for one night. I found him sitting in one
of the high backed chairs watching the flames dance in the fireplace. A part of me wanted to
attack him immediately but I refrained. If we were to live together until I figured a way out, we
might as well attempt to get along. There was one question I did need an answer to and I asked
as soon as I took the chair at his side. Do you intend to chain me up every time I cross you?
He winced as if I had smacked him but he kept his gaze on the fire as he replied, I did not
chain you up because you crossed me, you little fool. There are things that go on here that I
cannot risk you seeing.
What things? I asked.
Now he faced me as he spat out, If I wanted you to know I would not have chained you up!
Tomorrow night we, the others and me, will begin a new routine so the chains can come down.
Does that suit you?
Do you expect me to say no? I countered.
For a while we sat in silence, him and me. It was unnerving to be alone with him but I
discovered a peace in our silence. His presence felt good to me despite my many reservations
toward him. It was his words that seemed always to excite my temper. Would you like to see
the rest of the house? After your passionate speech I assume you will want to do your damage
elsewhere. It will keep you occupied if nothing else.
I stood when he did, following him through the familiar foyer and on toward a part of the first
floor I had not gotten around to earlier. The candelabra in his hand cast shadows on the walls as
we walked in silence and when he stopped it was so abrupt that I almost ran into him. This was
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my study, he said as he opened the door, not to be confused with the library which is down the
hall.
You have a library? I exclaimed in shock. I barely noticed the room around me, grand as I
am sure it was, for his words.
Of course! I was mildly irritated with his blas attitude on the subject but I said nothing.
And judging but that look in your eyes I would say we should head in that direction.
My breath caught when Lucania threw open those heavy double doors. This room was not
like the rest of the first floor. Aside from its sheer size (at that moment I thought my whole
village could fit in that room though now I know it was typical for a castle) that was the thing I
noticed right off. Since that night I have seen much more of the world but I have yet to see more
books in one private collection. It was circular in shape, or so it appeared at first glance, and
from floor to high ceiling stood the bound treasures I loved so much. Are you going to
comment? I would never have guessed you had it in you to become speechless! My guide said
with a laugh as he took a seat in one of the few chairs in the room. Despite the size and the books
there were only two chairs and two small tables in way of furniture. In my mind I was
redecorating when he finally grew impatient enough to bark out, Damn it girl, sit down
already!
I did as I was told but my eyes were still drinking in the beauty all around me. There was a
massive chandelier made of what appeared to be gold and crystal and there were more candles on
the walls, on the mantles, even one apiece upon the tiny tables. On the ceiling was painted a
beautiful mural but it was so high that I couldnt make out the pictures. Two huge fireplaces
were glowing to the left and right of us. And in this room there was no sign of the neglect that
had taken over the rest of the floor. At last I tried to speak. Lucaniathis is a dream!
This is no dream, I assure you. And please call me Luke. He paused for a moment while he
stood to poke one of the fires. These are my most beloved possessions. I have collected them in
my travels. Some of them are quite old, others have been in the world less than a year. They are
all in different languagesYou read, I assume?
Oh yes. I replied emphatically.
I knew it by your reaction. Well, you are welcomed to come in and borrow what you like.
There is a sliding ladder for the books that require great reachI used to put them in order of
language but now I put them in order of age. Still, I am sure some of the newer ones toward the
bottom are in French
I read other languages as well. I said simply. When he turned around I saw surprise on his
face and I went on realizing Cherise had neglected to share this information with her Master.
Yes. I read English, Spanish, Italian, German, Latin, Greek
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Greek?
Cherise had lit up when she found out but Lukes face grew darker, more mysterious. I was
half afraid to answer him. Yes. I also speak these languages.
That is...interesting. As soon as it came, the look passed from his eyes and he came toward
me once more. Well, you are welcomed to read anything except the ones on the top self all the
way around. Those are theoldestand no one touches them anymore. If we are going to finish
our tour we should probably go.
That night I went to sleep with the lightest feeling in my heart. I was happier than I had been
in many years and in that happiness it was easy to forget the situation surrounding it. My door
remained unlocked and this made it even easier for me to forget that I was a prisoner in this
palace. Before dreams came I was even starting to entertain the notion that my father, bless his
soul, had led me to Lucania so I might at last have the life he had always wished for me.

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Chapter 3
The next day I arose at an early hour, ate my breakfast surrounded again by silence, and
started my work on what was left of the first floor after finding the front door locked just as it
had been the day before, from the outside. Like the previous evening, Lucania and his family
returned with the night, a little later than before, and with a stranger in tow. He was introduced to
me as the long awaited tailor who would fit me for my new wardrobe. I knew the man in my
village that had his shop of dresses and I realized immediately that this man must have come
from a village that was not my own as I had never lain eyes on him before. Again I felt that pang
of disappointment in myself for the fact that I had never even bothered to travel to a neighboring
town once in my life. But that disappointment was pushed aside as excitement welled up at the
thought of my first set of clothes that had never belonged to one of my sisters before being
passed to me. The whole ritual of being fitted and looking over cloth and patterns was just
another aspect of the dream I felt like I had found myself in.
Instead of being angry with me for the work I had done around the house, Luke seemed
genuinely pleased and after the tailor had retired to a room on the third floor where he would stay
the night, the master of the house and I sat down and talked of his new plans. You are right. Ive
let this place go and after the effort youve put into making it beautiful again it would almost be
a sin for me to let it fall back into disrepair once more. I am hiring a staff from your little hamlet
to come during the day and keep things up. They shall take up the task of the second floor so
tomorrow you are free. You may now spend your days with the books if you chooseor making
the dishes Cook is preparing to show you as we speak. He sniffed the air and while I caught
only the scent of candle wax, he smiled at something more. You should probably go up there
before he burns us out. Im going out for the night. Ill see you on the morrow.
Of course I didnt ask him where he was off to on such a bitterly cold night. I had no right to
ask. But a part of me wished we were intimate enough for me to wrap a scarf around his neck
and beg him to be cautious. Waving the ridiculous thought from my mind, I walked upstairs sure
that Luke had been wrong until I entered the kitchen to find Cook struggling with the lighting of
the stove. I gave him a sympathetic smile as I showed him the simple task and suddenly he was
helpless no more as he showed me how to make fasolada. It was the start of a culinary give and
take between us, one of his recipes for one of my own. He was quite a wonder in the kitchen as it
turned out. He only needed help with the food of my country. During those long winter nights
and the lonely quiet mornings, I found solace both in the things he taught me and in the treasures
of the library down stairs.
Lucania kept his promise and the next morning there were indeed a staff of my townsfolk at
the door ready to work. They had been summoned by the tailor posing as the master, something I
found odd, and they all wanted to know how I had come to be there. Something told me I could
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not speak the truth to them. Instead I made up my first lie I could ever remember telling. It was a
practice I would in time get very good at thanks to those around me and it should have felt
strange that first time but some part of me seemed born to do it. I told them the master of the
house was my mothers third cousin and he had come back to his ancestral home just weeks
before. Upon hearing of my fathers death he sent for me. I had no suitors, I was alone, and he
had promised my father in a letter that he would care for me. It was as simple as that. They
believed the tale, commented on my good fortune, and went to their work with silent jealousy
making them almost unrecognizable to me.
That was the first day I found myself in one of the high back chairs by the fire with the sun all
around me and a book in my lap. I passed over those in French as I knew most of them and I
moved on to a beautiful novel of love and death in Italian. I barely realized night had fallen and I
might not have noticed at all had my page not become impossible to see in the dark. Lighting a
candle I simply went on, weeping at the beautiful pain in those pages, until I was startled out of
my paper world by a tap on my shoulder. Have you been here all day?
For a moment when I looked up I didnt see Luke before me but rather the doomed prince
from my book come back from the dead to claim his true love. I was almost so lost in the fantasy
that the words of love that I knew I had felt growing since our eyes first met nearly spilled from
my mouth. Luckily reality returned and with it my good sense so instead I gave him a smile as I
closed the book I had finished some time before and I wiped my eyes and my mind of the
haunting story that had continued inside my head. Yes, I suppose I have. Is it very late?
No, not very late. He replied softly as I stood to put the book back in its place on the shelf.
How did things go with the cleaning people today? Were they glad to see you?
A bitter laugh escaped me and it took me by surprise. They believe I have fallen into great
fortune. That isnt something you typically see around these parts so the same people I once
played with before we could properly walk now despise me. Yes, all went well.
I tried to walk past him but he stopped me in my tracks and put reassuring hands upon my
shoulders. Surely that is not true. After your loss I imagine they are all happy that you have
found a home so nice. People who are a part of you cannot be so cold.
There came again that unfamiliar bitterness and I couldnt stop myself from saying, Really?
Is that why you traveled so far from your home, Lucania? I knew I should apologize when I saw
the look of pain cloud his eyes but I said nothing and he let me pass.
Have you seen them yet? Ohthey are so beautiful! Have you seen them? Cherise
questioned in an excited rush as I came into the parlor.
Seen what? I questioned, very much confused.
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The tailor finished two of your gowns. He said they are on your bed. You havent taken a
look? Well, you must! And with that she took me by the hand and led me up the two flights of
stairs to my chamber. I was smiling by the time I walked in because her smile was contagious.
But when I saw the beautiful gowns made of velvet and trimmed in lace that lay upon my bed, I
literally gasped. I had never been one to dwell on material things but I had never owned
something as beautiful as the deep burgundy and the beautiful lavender garments intended for me
alone that were draped delicately across the duvet. Arent they magical, Arianne? Like
something from a fairy story!
Can you call for Luke, please? I asked in return.
Is there something the matter? She asked in obvious confusion. In response I only shook
my head no as I wiped away tears I did not understand.
I could not think of a single place I would ever go where such finery would be appropriate
and I knew that the gowns had to cost Luke a small fortune, just those two without all of the
others. I knew I should decline them. But that was the kindest thing anyone besides my father
had ever done for me and refusing such gifts would be rude. When I heard his high boots upon
the floor I turned and, without thinking, I wrapped my arms around him whispering, Thank you.
For this and all of the other good things youve done for me, thank you so much.
His skin was like ice even through his clothes and he looked taken aback by the gesture but
as I broke the embrace he smiled at me. Its no trouble at all, my girl. So long as you are content
I am glad to do such things.
But why? Why is my happiness important to you at all? I asked softly. It wasnt distrust for
his motives that prompted the question. I am not sure why I asked it at all. Maybe I wanted to
hear him tell me that he was falling in love with me as I was sure I was falling in love with him.
At the least, I wanted him to admit he cared. Instead he only smiled at me as he kissed my head
and turned to go. Wait! I called out. I didnt want him to leave. I wanted to speak the truth that
was already in my heart. I wanted to tell him that I yearned to press my lips to his, to feel his
cold skin against my own Cheriseshe liked the gowns. Since the tailor is already here and
it doesnt look like the snow will be letting up anytime soon you might want to think of having
gowns made for her as well. She certainly deserves them far more than me.
His expression turned to one of confusion. If she wanted new dresses why didnt she simply
say so? I would have gladly had them made for her.
He lived with the girl night after night and he knew so little of her nature. Sometimes I looked
into his eyes and they seemed so wise and yet when it came to people he knew nothing until it
was spelled out for him. She doesnt want to bother you. Trust me in my judgment. She would
love to have a few gowns of her own.
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Nodding his head, he thanked me and promised to see to it immediately before he took his
leave. He was a puzzle to me, the strange master of this strange place. He could be so kind yet so
harsh, so wise yet so blind, and though I knew that he had the capacity to love deeply inside of
him, I had never seen proof of this. Yes, he loved Cherise, Mother, and Cook but while I
wondered about the extent of his relationship with the girl I could see that the love he had for her
wasnt quite the romantic love I thought he had to give. I wanted to know him. I wanted to sit at
his side and talk of his life before I came, of the things he liked and disliked, of his life in
Greece, a place I had only dreamed of seeing. But there was nothing about the way he behaved
with me that gave me hope of such things ever coming to pass.
A few weeks passed and I seemed to follow the same routine with each day. The tailor
finished my gowns and made a new wardrobe for Cherise at a speed unheard of for me. I had
never seen her as happy as she was when Luke surprised her with the finery. I was content there.
I was glad to spend my days in the library and my nights with this strange little family that had
so accepted me. I longed for the warmth of spring so that I might go out and explore the grounds.
Luke had talked to me of his rose bushes and I had never seen a rose in my life outside of
drawings so I anticipated the day that I would look out my grand windows and see them all in
full bloom. At some point I had stopped wanting to escape and instead I was anxious to make my
place there. What I wanted most of all was the one thing that seemed the most impossible task
for me. I wanted Lukes love and devotion. While the family gave me every indication that I was
a part of them, Luke still gave me no hint that he shared my desire.
One night late in February Luke came in to the library earlier than usual and he was smiling.
Cherise was right behind him looking unsure and I was immediately confused. You never told
me that your village has a theater.
Lucania, I said, looking at him in a solemn way, I must confess. My village has a theater.
I laughed. I had no idea why this fact was suddenly important to him.
Your village does indeed. Thank you for that information. As it happens, I have a house full
of women who are tired of this long hard winter and they need a bit of entertainment. Its not
exactly the opera house in Paris but it cant be that bad. What do you say we get dressed up and
go see a show? Its Saturday night. Something must be playing.
I told him we would be terribly overdressed for such a small place. Cherise said softly, as
if this were a sin that might be unforgiveable.
I thought of the women who came to clean the place once a week and of their hateful stares
that seemed to grow bitterer with each week that passed. I imagined the pain I would feel if I
were treated that way by everyone I once knew and I was sure I would be. As if he sensed this in
me, Luke crouched in front of me and took my hands. Look at me. He demanded softly. I did
and what I saw surprised me. He not only knew what I was thinking, he completely understood
it. Are you going to let them all make you feel as if you didnt deserve something better? They
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said nothing as your sisters married well, or appeared to. They said nothing of their big houses
and their nice things. And you were the sweetest, the fairest of them all. So who are they to say
you dont deserve to be here? Be brave, little Arianne. Dress yourself in the most beautiful gown
you have, paint your face in Cherises things, use Mothers perfumed oils, and walk into that
little theater tonight with your head held high. If you cannot do it for yourself than please, do it
for me. Show me that you know you are good enough.
Why do you care what I think of myself? I retorted.
He smiled at me and nearly whispered, Always asking why I care as if you dont know by
now that I do.
I didnt know that at all but I did get ready and I let Cherise make up my face with her paints
in a way that I had never been made up before. We were like sisters that night as we got ready
for the evening ahead. Mother refused to go and Cook had no interest in seeing a show so it
would be the three of us alone. I was grateful for the warm cloak and the fur trimmed gloves that
Luke had purchased with my dresses and I felt a bit like a princess as I slipped them on. I was
sure that the townspeople had already heard stories of me up in the castle lounging around all
day among my books and I was sure that they would have resented me for that even if I had
come to them dressed in rags. So I might as well hold my head high in clothes so expensive that
the cost of them could have kept the theater going for years. But despite that defiance put in me
by the few who seemed to scorn me, I couldnt help but feel guilty when it came to the many that
had never done a thing wrong to me.
On the carriage ride I began to shake and I told myself it was due only to the cold but I knew
better. I was terribly nervous. I didnt want to see hate in the eyes of my old friends but I
couldnt blame them for it if I did. Suddenly Luke took my hand in his and I nearly jumped. It
wont be as bad as all that, my girl. I swear to you, it wont. The man who owns the theater, he
was a friend of your fathers, was he not? He watched you grow up. Do you think he would look
at you differently because of your pretty dress?
How did you know all of that? About my father and Monsieur Moreau? Instead of
answering what I saw as a reasonable question, he only smiled and again silence fell around us
the rest of the way into town.
There had been a little snow fall during the week but nothing like the snow we had seen a
month before and it looked like many in the village were gathered around the theater and the pub
and tavern on either side of it. It seemed like everyone was tired of being inside their homes and
as the theater and the tavern were the only places where entertainment could be found, it wasnt
surprising that everyone was there. The carriage stopped outside of the building that was our
destination and Lukes driver assured him that he would be there to pick us up when the show
ended. As we climbed out, I looked at the small town square that had always seemed like the
center of the world throughout my life and I realized for the first time how tiny it looked to me
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now. Looping his arm inside of Cherises Luke moved to do the same with mine and instead he
clasped my hand and gave it a tender squeeze. We walked forward and were almost to the door
when Monsieur Moreau and his wife appeared. Instantly I was embraced by the couple as I was
asked all about the way that I was fairing in the big house outside of town. There were no
traces of animosity from these wonderful people at all. Only the love I had always known and it
warmed my heart more than I would have guessed. Before he let us go the great Monsieur looked
at Luke and winked. When you marry the girl, be sure to invite us, wont you, son?
But of course. Luke replied with a smile as he led us inside.
I only looked at the man who was so cold and distant and pondered his response. Marriage?
Ha! I didnt even know his last name! But I said nothing as we went into the tiny theater that
provided only the most basic comforts to those who came. Still, to me, it always felt like home. I
sat in the center row to the right of the stage, the seats that had always provided the best view
without the heat from the candles up front. What are they putting on tonight? I asked because I
had not noticed the sign outside in my trepidation. All of my frazzled nerves had gone. But of
course they had. I loved that little theater and when I sat before that stage I dreamed of a day
when I might be up there playing the lead as people cheered in awe.
Its something fairly new called Idomne. It is a tale of
I smiled at him. I know. Ive seen it. I used to practice the voice of Venus while I cleaned
our home. Was I beaming? Possibly. This truly was the greatest place he might have taken me
on a cold winters night.
I was lost in the twisted story of a woman in love with the son of a potential suitor who ends
up shipwrecked only to be saved by Neptune who wants the sacrifice of the mans son in return.
By the end you think that all will be well. The son and the woman are united with the fathers
consent, he has outwitted the Godsand then Oh, that was just terrible! Cherise cried out as
we left the theater. She made us sit for five minuets after the curtain went down to absorb what
she had just witnessed. That damned Neptune, that bastard! Driving Idomne insane in such a
way! Illione left heartbroken like that just when she thought all was well for her! Oh, what sort
of person would write such a horrible story?
Luke put his arm around her as we walked across the street to where the carriage was waiting
as promised. My sweet girl, I told you before we left that this play is a tragedy.
But you did not tell me some poor girl was going to go through hell to turn up all but
widowed! You said nothing of that, Lucania! She protested as we climbed inside. It was the first
time I had ever heard her call him by his name and it made me smile.
Until that night I had forgotten my dreams of the stage. I had forgotten the times that
Monsieur Moreau had allowed me to come in and watch the shows for nothing, the times that he
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had invited me to watch rehearsals if I had time during the day, and the way he had always told
me that one day he would come to Paris to watch me on the stage. It was my destiny, he always
said. I had wanted him to be right. I had wanted that with all of my heart once. Now that dream
was gone. I couldnt say why I felt that way but I did. Whatever might have been my destiny the
night before my father died, it was all changed now. I watched you tonight. I saw the way you
whispered the lines, the way that you lost yourself in the story on the stage. It seems to me that
you would be well suited for that type of work. Its an art, you know. But the people can be
cruel, especially to women in the theater. However, if you could endure that
We were sitting before the fireplace in the first floor parlor. As soon as we came home he
had asked if I were tired and when I said I was not, he had produced a nice bottle of wine and he
launched into a conversation about my future even as he poured. He was being kind. What he did
not know was that this dream I once had was so intertwined with my father, the only person who
encouraged me toward dreams of that nature besides the great Monsieur, that to think of it now
broke my heart. One day you will take to the stage and when you look out I will be sitting right
up front looking with pride at my petite beaut. That is what papa would tell me. He was saving
the money to send me to Paris for that purpose, a little at a time. But when he got sick I spent
what he had on medicines and meat, things we needed. I never told him. I wouldnt dare. That
was his dream and it would have broken his heart to know that it was sacrificed for reality. No,
I will never take the stage. It is not for me. I replied simply, hoping he would leave it alone.
Thats absurd. Monsieur Moreau told me stories, the way that you took to the stage like a
duck takes to water, how you would come and watch the actors prepare and you would show
them the proper way to move or to say their lines. He said if you had not had so much
responsibility at home he would have put you in a show before your tenth birthday but you never
seemed to have the time. He said you have a gift. Why would he say these things if they were not
true?
Why did he tell you those things at all? I asked in return.
Lucania seemed suddenly uncomfortable and I watched him shift uneasily in his seat. I was
in the village, at the tavern to be exact, and he came up to me asking questions about you. I want
no damage done to your reputation, of course, and the fact that I am supposed to be a distant
relative is hardly enough to keep people from talking. So I told him I intended to marry you. He
only wants you to be happy. I think he told me those things believing that I was your future
husband because he wants to know that I will allow you your dreams. He is a good man and he is
very fond of you. He kept calling you something, a nickname that he and your father used for
you
La petite beautor just petite beaut. Yes. All of my life, as far back as I can remember,
they called me the little beauty. They would have disputes over which of them first called me
that. Monsieur Moreau still says it was he, that my father bundled me up the night I was born and
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he brought me to the theater to show Monsieur and his wife and as soon as he saw me he gave
me the name. Father contends that the story is rubbish, that he called me that as soon as I was
born, and they willor they would I could no longer speak over the lump in my throat. For a
moment as we spoke of these things I had forgotten that my father was dead now, that I would
never see his handsome tired smile again, the deep lines in his face from hard work and worry, or
feel his protective arms embrace me. And when I realized this it was as if I was facing his death
again for the first time. I did not want Luke to see my tears so I turned my face away but he came
to me, this beautiful mysterious man, and he took my hands in his. His skin, always so cold, was
comforting to me then.
You do not need to be ashamed of your tears, Arianne. Your fathers death is the greatest
loss youve ever known in your short life. From what I know, your father was a very good man
and he loved all of his children but he loved you just a little more because he knew that you were
special. He did amazing things for you considering how poor you were. He educated you in a
way that rich men never think of doing with their daughters. In this way, though he had little
money to spare, he gave you something that was worth more than a rich girls fancy things and
no one will ever be able to take away that legacy. When such a great man dies, there should be
tears. In fact, when a man like your father dies the entire world should weep. Luke did
something then that took my breath away. He leaned forward and he kissed me. It was just a soft
peck on the cheek but it was enough to put fire in my belly and joy back in my heart. Then he
patted my hair and left me without a word.

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Chapter 4
After that night Luke began taking me to the theater twice, sometimes three times, a week.
Cherise refused to go again unless she was assured that the show was a comedy, apparently
feeling quite duped by her first experience there and wishing never to repeat that. As comedies
were only shown about once a month, she did not go often. But even though the people in town
seemed to hate me a little more each time I arrived in my fancy gowns better suited for the opera
house in Paris with a beautiful man at my side, a man everyone believed was my betrothed, I had
learned to ignore their glares and their sneers. Besides, inside of that theater I was safe from all
of that because that humble place of humble shows was a home to me and Monsieur Moreau
would have shown anyone out who dared to challenge that. More than once Monsieur sat with us
once the curtain came up and he mouthed the words to the shows just as I did. He had once been
an actor on a large Paris stage. His name had appeared in papers and he was celebrated as a great
talent. Then he met a young girl who stole his heart and he left it all behind to have her for his
bride. The two were still very much in love though God had never given them children,
something that secretly pained them both. When my mother died the two did all they could to
help us and even before that they were like family to me. So it felt right to have him at my side,
his old weathered hand in mine, as we recited together the words of the shows we both knew
well.
In March when my birthday came Monsieur Moreau carried on a tradition that began when I
was only five years old. You see, I received my name from a great tragedy from my fathers
youth written by the great but largely overshadowed Thomas Corneille. The play, of course, was
Ariane. It was a story of a princess abandoned by her love and each year on my birthday it was
shown in the little theater in my village by my fathers dear friend, the man who helped name me
when my father brought me in bundled in rags with the March snow on his coat. Because this
was my first birthday without my father I spent the day in the library weeping for my memories
and I had no intention of leaving the house that night. I thought, with my father gone, that
Monsieur would abandon the tradition altogether. So when Luke came in with a grin on his face
and presents under his arm telling me to get dressed at once, I told him no. How he knew it was
my birthday, I wasnt sure. But if he planned to celebrate it, he would be celebrating it alone. At
last he talked me into putting on a gown I had not yet worn because it was the most expensive
and ornate one in the bunch. It was an emerald green silk that had been imported from what I
heard and one of the packages he offered me contained an emerald necklace and ear bobs to
match. For this occasion he got the entire family to come out and I tried to be happy but I could
not shake the sorrow in my heart. The whole day I had felt as if someone very important was
missing and even with those I loved around me, he could not be replaced.
As soon as we arrived at the theater my eyes welled up with tears and I fought as hard as I
could to blink them away. I was silent as we went inside but I was shocked to see that the place
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was packed in the middle of the week. Not only was Monsieur showing Ariane, he was doing so
for free to encourage all to come. He was such a good man and I was suddenly glad to spend this
night with him. If I could not have papa, Monsieur seemed almost as good. Although this was all
put together in honor of my birthday, no one made an effort to come up to me. They treated me
as they did every time they saw me, as if I was an outsider now. And on this night that hurt me
very much. When Monsieur took the stage he cleared his throat dramatically and a hush fell over
the place at once.
Eighteen years ago tonight my dearest friend in the world braved a snow storm to bring to
me his new beautiful girl. As we sat here in this very theater and thought of names I remembered
a play, a great tragedy, that I had once played a part in when we were both young men. The play
was Ariane and it had been one of our favorites in our youth, mine and my friends. And so as
we looked at this little creature with the spark of greatness in her eyes we called out the name
and she smiled. No, no, it is true, she did. Every year I put on this show for her and she sits right
up front, where she is now, despite the heat of the lamps, with her father sitting on one side and
me on the other but this winter my little beauty suffered a great loss. My dear friend, Ariannes
father, was taken into the arms of God. So this year she will sit with her betrothed at her side and
her father smiling down on her as we carry on the tradition that he so loved. Raising his glass in
a toast, he commanded, Rise, my petite beaut, rise and take a bow! Happy birthday, sweet girl!
May you be forever as happy in this world as you are right now! It was the same thing he said
every year only this time when I stood my father was not there to stand with me and Luke did not
know to take my hand and kiss it.
I was in tears by the time the show began but Luke did take my hand in his and he held it the
whole time through. When the show was done Monsieur insisted we go with him behind the
theater to the little house attached that he and his wife had called home for decades. He offered
us cake and wine and stories of the little girl I had been. Luke seemed to be interested in these
tales so much that I nearly forgot that all he had told my godfather about our future together was
a lie. Mother got on well with Monsieurs wife. In fact, I had never seen her smile or engage in
light hearted conversation before and it was nice to watch. Cherise stayed close to me and she
listened to all that was being said looking a bit like a scared kitten until I showed her around the
place and told her my memories of each room. Because everyone seemed to be fine in their little
groups, the men on one side and the women on the other, I took her back down to the theater and
as local boys cleaned up I put on a one woman play of sorts that I made up entirely as I went
along. I had done this so many times in the past spending all of my spare time here, even
studying my books right on the stage, and I was lost in the moment until I took my bow and
looked up to see that everyone from the house was now gathered at the entrance clapping for me.
I saw Monsieur whisper something to Luke and I knew what he was saying. See, I told
youtake the girl to Paris and put her on a stage or something along those lines. So I jumped
down at once, something my papa would have scolded me for, and I was quick with my
goodbyes before I walked out into an unseasonably warm night.
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Go ahead. I heard Luke say to the others. And to his driver he whispered something before
turning to me. It is a nice night and after all the months of snow and ice I thought you might
enjoy an evening stroll.
Ive seen enough of my past, Luke. Ive revisited enough of the memories for one night. So
if you are thinking of taking me somewhere
No, not at all. I am sorry the night upset you. I saw your friend when I came to the village
last night and he told me that today was your birthday and that I had to bring you in for the show,
that it was a tradition for you. He seemed so hopeful that you would come that I promised him I
would
You did the right thing. You did. I would never want to give that wonderful man a moment
of disappointment. He has been so good to me and it is our tradition. He and my father devised it
as soon as I was old enough to sit still for a show. It was right that I came. But that doesnt make
it hurt me less. I felt my father there tonight. I felt him at my side. He seemed close enough to
touch but when I reached out my hand it was your skin I felt. I want to thank you for being with
me tonight. I am very lucky to have a friend as kind as you are. I said to him and I meant it. In
the month or so since we began spending nights together in the village or reading silently side by
side until dawn, I had forgotten that he could be cruel. I had forgotten the feeling of chains on
my wrist and cold stone at my back. Luke had become something else in my mind altogether and
yes, I loved him. With each night that passed I loved him a little more. And I was grateful to him
for all he had done.
For a long time we walked and then I realized we were approaching the house. We had gone
in a way that was opposite the usual way we traveled and yet we had returned to the grounds I
knew once more. No matter which way one takes out of the village, one will end up here. I
said quietly.
Yes. From what I understand, the village was actually built around the house so to speak.
Anyway, there is something I want to show you. I noticed it while I was riding last night. As
soon as I saw it, I couldnt wait to show it you. He seemed excited as he led me through the
grass toward high bushes of some sort that were already full and green though full spring was not
yet upon us. I could see this long line of bushes from my bedroom window and I knew that there
was a line of this sort on both sides of the dirt road that led up to the house. But it seemed as if
there was something in particular that he was looking for as he led me onward. Finally he
stopped and silently he pointed as if whatever it was that he wanted me to see was so magical he
couldnt even speak of it. Bending down I looked and at first I saw nothing but then, as my eyes
adjusted to the darkness, I put my hand over my mouth in surprise. A purple rose? Is that
right? I asked because in all of my reading I had never heard of such a thing.
Yes, that is correct. It is a crossbreed of some sort that I found in the Orient. As soon as I
came here I sent for seeds and I planted them all along the path. I have red roses in the garden,
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pink and white and even yellow as well, but these are too proud to be anywhere but here, dont
you think?
Purple was my favorite color and I thought that this Oriental rose, however it came to exist,
was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in all of my life. More beautiful, even, than the
ornate gown on my body or the gorgeous necklace at my throat. When I said as much, Luke
smiled. Then he took my face in his hands and my heart began to pound as he whispered,
Arianne, my beautiful Arianne, there is no one who compares to you. Any woman who looks at
a rose on the vine with more love and adoration than jewels or gold, any woman with a mind that
absorbs so much and judges little, any woman with a smile full of life even when she hurts, is
extraordinary. You are extraordinary. Happy birthday, little beauty. And finally he kissed me, a
kiss so full of passion and fire that it made my legs weak and my hands trembled. When he
moved away I stood a little higher and I kissed him. I had no idea what I was doing but it didnt
seem to matter. Whatever the future brought, I would remember this for the rest of my life. Go
on in the house and ask Mother to bring you the rest of your gifts. I have something I must do. I
will see you in the evening. Dream of angels. And with that he walked away.
So much was running in a river of emotions inside of me that I could not identify how I felt. I
was disappointed that he left like that, happy he had ever stood there with me in the first place,
anxious for the future, sad about the pastI faked smiles as Mother, Cherise, and Cook gathered
around with my gifts that included my own perfume from Paris and face paints Cherise had no
doubt recommended as well as a set of ivory combs for my hair. They were all very nice things,
things I never dreamed I would own, but my mind was out riding in the night with the thoughtful
man who had purchased them. Before going to bed I wrote a note to him thanking him for
everything but I couldnt seem to fall asleep until I heard his horse come up the drive. Where did
he go when he arrived? I still had no idea. I did not know where any of them slept. But I could
close my eyes in peace knowing he was home.
After that night something came over Luke turning him cold toward not just me but everyone
around him. Even Mother wasnt safe from his sharp tongue or his quick temper. He stopped
taking me to the theater, he stopped spending time with me in the library; in fact, he stopped
spending time with me at all. So in response to his cold shoulder, I ignored him. My heart was
aching at this change, the coldness that was again in his eyes, but I was not going to give him the
satisfaction of knowing that. Cherise, on the other hand, took to heart every mean word, every
tantrum he threw. She was in love with him. I knew that. And I was quickly getting tired of
seeing the pain in her eyes and knowing that he was the cause of it. Finally in mid-April his
behavior came to a head and I had enough of it. My plans were to go down to the library, open
the windows, and read with the scent of the newly blooming roses outside coming in to me on
the wind. There had been a nice breeze outside all day and I had spent most of my time that past
week in the gardens until evening when I would then return to the books and the escape they
provided. But as I was walking downstairs I heard shouting in the parlor and I walked in on
another of Lukes temper tantrums. I was sickened by what I saw.
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Cherise was at his side, her face crumpled in pain, and he was going on and on about some
repair that was supposed to be done a week ago, some man who had not shown up. I listened to
this from the doorway where I was watching it thinking he would get it out of his system and that
would be that. Then he turned on Cherise. Even though his anger, his fury had nothing to do with
the poor girl at his side, he began shouting at her, first in French, then in English, and by the time
he switched to Greek, I could hear her heavy sobs behind the tiny hands that covered her face. I
had had enough of it all. I was finished with him taking his rage out on the most vulnerable
among us just as I was finished with him pretending not to see what was right in front of his face.
Enough, goddamned it! I shouted in Greek. I had never spoken to him in his native tongue and
I think the surprise of hearing it was what shocked him into silence. His eyes were fixed on me
and it was obvious he wanted to shout some more but for some reason, he said nothing. That was
how I wanted it because there was much I had to say to him. You have no right to treat her this
way and you will do it no more, Lucania! You will not bring her to tears, not when she loves you
so! Oh, dont look so surprised, you stupid fool! She is in love with you! And when you shout at
her, when you say the cruel things you never mean, she takes it all to heart! So youve done it for
the last time!
Cherise had stopped crying and she was wiping at her face even as she looked at us, no
doubt wondering what was being said. In the dim light I could see that there was something, a
streak of color where her tears had been, but before I could give that much thought he replied in
a soft voice, a voice wrought with uncertainty, But I am not in love with her. I love her as one
might love a child. What am I to do with that?
For some reason his words surprised me. I think a part of me had assumed that he used her in
a way that one would not use a child and that she was his lover. Now I saw that I had been very
mistaken about their relationship all the while. Figure it out! I shouted and then I turned to go.
I was in my room no longer than half an hour before he came knocking. This was why I had
sought sanctuary upstairs instead of going into the library as I had intended when I came down.
Here, at least, he had to ask permission to disturb me and I could throw him out if it came to that.
Come in. I called out. And I waited. No one came. Annoyed at all of this, I got up and opened
the door to find a flower from the garden on top of a note. Meet me in my chambers. I have
much to say. It read simply but I had to go over it three times to make sure I read it right.
I had never been inside of Lukes personal chambers and I actually had to ask Mother where
they were. Instead of saying anything, she investigated the note and then she lead me up a hidden
staircase one could only access through the lavatory and only if one knew the right spot in the
wall to push on. When I asked about this as we scaled the very dark, very narrow staircase, she
said only, For his protection, child.
Again I had the feeling that there was much, so much that I did not know. I was in love with
him and yet I knew virtually nothing beyond his name and that once he was a child in the
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Mediterranean sun of Greece. I had so much I wanted only to ask him, so much I wished he
would share, but I knew it was all but impossible that he ever would. Nearly five months I had
been with him in the same house day after day and night after night and this was only the first
time I had ever seen where he slept, where he stayed no doubt when he could not be found. I
could probably spend an eternity with him and never know his secrets, I thought, as Mother left
me outside of a door after knocking thrice on it. If I never knew him, I wondered as I waited,
could I ever really claim to love him at all? Yet when he opened the door he smiled at me and
like it did so often, that smile almost made me forget all else.
Please, come in. He said softly, stepping aside so I could do just that. I sat in a chair and I
said nothing, confused by the meeting as much as by my emotions. How did you know? About
Cherise, I mean?
Straight to the point tonight, I thought. Its quite obvious. I would think anyone would
know. I replied simply.
Have you ever had to tell someone who loved you that you did not love them in the same
way, someone you cared about, a close friend perhaps? Can you offer no suggestions?
I was irritated with him. He ignored me for over a month and this was what he wanted to
discuss? No, Luke, I was too busy to get myself into situations like that. So if that is all I
stood to leave but he moved quickly, putting his hand on my arm.
No, thats not all. Please sit. Be patient with me while I try to say whats on my mind. This
is not easy for me. Emotions are never easy. He began to pace and I sat as he had asked because
this, whatever it was, seemed like something I did not want to miss. First, I want to say that I
am sorry for being distant lately. We were spending so much time together and I thoughtI
dont know what I thoughtthat it was for the best? I am not the sort of person you want to care
for, Arianne. I am not a man who deserves your love. And I saw something in your eyes that
night by the roses that mirrored closely what started to bloom in my heartit is better sometimes
to cause someone a little pain in order to spare them from a greater sorrow.
I started to laugh. I couldnt help myself. I wondered who it was that he was trying to
convince here, me or himself, because I didnt believe any of this. How do I seem to you? Do I
seem like a fragile flower you fear crushing? I may have been that once but that was another life
and if anyone noticed the change in me I would have thought it would have been you. I always
think of you as a wise man. But perhaps in some ways you have no more wisdom than the boys
in the village. If you fear love or affection than say as much but dont kiss me in the moonlight
and then treat me like a stranger and tell me you did it because you thought it was best. Best for
whom? Not me, certainly. I have known great sorrow. It did not kill me and I do not fear facing
it again. Perhaps you are sparing yourself from such a thing but youve saved me from nothing
by pulling away your hand of friendship. I retorted, proud that my voice did not tremble with
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the anger I felt inside. Who was she, Luke? Who was the woman that hurt you so bad that you
will turn me out for her sins?
He stopped his pacing at once and looked at me in surprise. Ah, of course. Only someone who
had been hurt before could fear being hurt again so much. I have no idea what you are talking
about. His voice was barely above a whisper and his eyes told me he was lying. I had had
enough.
Standing, I made my way to the door. That is horseshit! You know perfectly well what I am
talking about. Youll turn away from me because of her, whoever she is, but god forbid you tell
me the story. Yes, it would be a crime to actually divulge a truth about yourself, wouldnt it?
You know everything of my life. What I did not tell you, you went around the village gathering
from those who knew me and I know nothing about you. It is one of many things about us that
appear to be one-sided. Go back to avoiding me. At least that makes a cold kind of sense.
When I stormed out he did not follow me. As if to remind myself that I had thought for a
brief moment that he might be mine, I sought refuge in the yard, the gardens. I sat in the grass
breathing in the scent of flowers trying to remember the way my heart had beat when his lips
touched mine. It was all a lie. Perhaps not in the moment. I knew he had meant everything that
night. But if there would never be anything to follow it up with, it was a lie now. I began to think
then about leaving. I didnt think he would try to stop me at that point. Whatever he had kept me
there to prove once appeared to have been proven to him long ago. So I could go if I wanted. But
that was the problem. There was nothing I wanted less.
Her name was Charlotte. I looked behind me and I saw Luke standing there staring off into
nothing. I thought he would sit down but instead he went on. She wasnt from around here. It
was another small French village a long time ago. Feels like centuries. I cant tell you the
particulars of the story. But I loved her despite all of the warnings I got from the others, despite
my own good sense, and when she told me she loved me I believed her. In the end she betrayed
me. Knowing that each whispered sigh in the dark, each soft caress, each declaration of love was
a lie, hurt far more than the betrayal. In the beginning she was a lot like you. And I trusted her as
I have come to trust you. So if I pull away when I see the start of love in your eyes it is not
because I dont care. It is because I cannot stand one day discovering that you, the sweet girl I
see now, are nothing but a deception. I tried to follow him when he left me there but it was no
good. He moved too fast in the dark and I eventually gave up on him for the night when my
pleading outside his door fell on deaf ears. No one in the house saw him for three days after that.
The rest of the little family did not seem worried by his absence but I was. He had never left like
that before. I remember saying little prayers I could barely recall to the Virgin so that she might
protect him. I suppose I thought she would take pity on my female heart and return him to me. I
dont know. But I was heartsick and I knew only that I wanted him to come home.
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Someone was watching me. I had not been asleep long but I had fallen deeply into dreams
when I closed my eyes and suddenly I was startled from the maze I was attempting to navigate in
my dreaming world, the one that would take me to something important, by the knowledge that I
wasnt alone in the room. Opening my eyes, I saw Lucania at last. He had opened my bed curtain
so he could stand back a little and watch me sleep. I was very worried about you. I said softly,
yawning as I sat up.
Ive been very worried about myself. He replied. His voice sounded troubled, not at all like
itself.
For the longest time he stood where he was and we simply stared at one another. I thought of
everything I wanted to say the night he told me of Charlotte, I thought of my fears while he was
gone, that he would never return, and most of all I thought of what I promised the Blessed
Mother. I would be honest with him if he returned. I would tell him how I felt if she would only
see him home. It was a promise to myself really. But now that he was there in my room I could
say nothing, do nothing, but watch him by the light of a weak half-moon and hope that he would
come to me at last. Sit, please. I said finally. My heart was pounding. But he didnt move, he
didnt speak. He only stood there looking at me in a strange way. For a moment, just a brief
moment, I was afraid of him. I was afraid that I had misjudged him and that he was in fact the
monster I imagined the first night I met him.
Suddenly he came to me and when he cupped the back of my neck with his hand I actually
pulled away. But he did me no harm. Instead he kissed me with passion and with something else,
some sort of urgency I could not understand yet. When he broke the kiss he didnt flee from me
as he had before. No. He looked into my eyes and then he held me against him and though he did
not weep I swear I heard tears in his voice. I love you, Arianne. Though I have no right to,
though there is so much I cannot tell you and you may never really know who I am, I love you.
And I want you. I moved to look at him and again he kissed me. My head was swimming. I
remember thinking This is the moment. There is no turning back now. I could have if I had
wanted to but all I wanted in that moment was his cold body against mine. To hell with all I had
been taught of marriage and decency. Here in this world that he created, that he controlled, none
of that mattered.
I want you too. Ive always wanted you. I whispered softly.
I assume youve never? I shook my head no. Are you sure you want this?
More than anything. I replied. I kissed him as I worked at the buttons on his shirt. I wanted
to see him as I had never seen him, or any man for that matter, before. But he took my hands
after I removed his shirt to keep me from going further. It was nothing for him to explore my
body through my thin dressing gown and at first that is what he did. The feeling of the silk
against my warm skin while his icy hands moved over it was enough to drive me over the edge
of reason. By the time he removed it, I wanted more. But he refused to rush anything. Without a
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word he explored me as if I were new territory to claim, his mouth, his hands working over me
as I bucked against him and cried out for release. Finally he undid his trousers and I saw in the
near darkness the beauty of his body. It was then that I got nervous. I wanted to touch his
manhood and yet I also wanted to back away, call the whole thing off. But without words he
reassured me that all would be well. So I laid back and I waited. I love you. No matter what
happens in the future I will always love you, petite beaut. He whispered against my ear as he
entered me slowly. There was pain and at first I wasnt sure if I could go on. He was so hard
inside of me, so cold, but soon I relaxed and time stood still. It felt like seconds, it felt like an
eternity, I couldnt tell but soon I was crying out his name and riding the waves of my first
orgasm. Higher and higher he took me and then back down I came only to go back up again.
When he let out an inhuman growl I came again and it took a moment to realize it was over.
Suddenly I felt very cold with his body covering mine but I said nothing because I didnt
want him to move. I wanted to savor this moment. I think I believed that he would send me away
after that. Some part of me thought that if he would ignore me over a kiss surely he would turn
his back on me altogether over this and I wanted to keep my arms around him as long as he
would allow me. He was so hard. My fingers were gliding over the muscles in his shoulders, his
back, his beautiful black hair that fell around him in waves. When he did move he didnt go far.
Instead he lay at my side and opened his arms to me. Everything about him fit me like a glove. It
felt as if my body were meant for his as I pressed myself against him and I couldnt help but
smile. This means something to me. I did not take your innocence tonight so I might turn you
away tomorrow. I may be cruel sometimes but I do not play with hearts. If you want me for now
I am yours. One day we might part. But for now He paused as he kissed me. For now Im
yours.
This was everything I had wanted. When I fell asleep, he was holding me as I had always
dreamed he would and he was whispering words of love, the things I had wanted to hear from
him for months. There was no one else like him. I knew that. And just before sleep came I
remember wondering if he was even human because he seemed like so much more.

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Chapter 5
As the spring turned to summer, the love between Luke and me grew. He seemed so different
with me after our first night together. He seemed different in general. It was as if he were lighter
somehow. He let his smile come easily, he laughed often, he was even playful at times. I never
would have guessed that first night I met him that such a man existed under his hard exterior. We
got into the habit of going to the theater now and then but not nearly as often as we had in the
past. It was too warm outside to be within the hot and humid play house. So we spent hours
riding around the woods and playing in the gardens. Although no one discussed it, after a time I
assumed that everyone in the house knew what was going on between us. I was sure Mother did.
Sometimes she would come outside with us and I would catch her looking at us in a way that I
couldnt quite read. Still, although I fell asleep in his arms each night, I woke up each morning
alone. I assumed this was done in an effort to keep secret what I thought should be so clear.
We went on this way for months. If I had ever been happier, I could not recall it. His family
had become my family. His life was now our life together. In the beginning I was always waiting
for the other shoe to drop, for him to change his mind and call it all off, but as the summer began
slowly fading into autumn those fears seemed to pass with the season. I got to a point where I
was comfortable with our life, where I felt I could rely on him to come to me at dusk, where I
felt like it was really possible that he might love me for the rest of our lives. And just as the
tension and the fears disappeared he, in one night, gave me reason to doubt everything I now
knew of his intentions.
The sun had been down a little longer than an hour and though I was in my room waiting for
him, Luke had not yet come. When I heard a knock at my door I thought it odd for he had long
ago stopped knocking but when I answered it I found Cherise on the other side. She smiled
nervously and said softly, The Master is requesting that all of us meet him downstairs in the
parlor.
Why? And why did he send you instead of coming to me himself? I asked, my heart
already pounding in my chest.
I dont know. He just asked that I fetch you. Again there was the uncertain smile, the one
that made me worry even more. I nodded but I shut the door. I needed a minuet to sit and
compose myself, to ready myself for whatever was about to happen. I thought I knew only too
well what was going on and already the tears were threatening to choke me. He was sending me
away. What else could it be? But when I was sure that no tears would fall, I held my head high
and I squared my shoulders determined to meet him with all of the strength I had acquired in the
past few months. If I was going to break, he would never see it, I told myself as I walked. He did
not deserve to.
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When I arrived in the parlor I saw that Cherise still seemed worried, Mother seemed resigned,
and CookWell, poor Cook looked lost. All of this alarmed me as I ran over in my mind the
things that might have led to this meeting. Was he really making me go? Had he only kept me
there to make sure I would tell no one about those first few nights and now that I had kept my
loyalty for him strong, was he ready to see me off? My heart sank at the thought but I waited
with all the others to hear what he would say. He cleared his throat and the room was so quiet
that the sound made me jump. Mother, Cook, and Cherise probably know what I am going to
say. They have gone through many periods of my absences over the years. They may not like it,
perhaps, but they know it is necessary. But you, sweet Arianne, youve never watched me go
before. My family, I must travel for a while. Not longnot like the last time. I shall be gone at
least a month but no more than two. If circumstances change while I am gone, I will write and
tell you where to meet me.
What about Arianne? If things change and we must go, what will we do about her? Mother
asked as if I were no longer there. I wished I wasnt. I wanted to be upstairs packing my things
so I might follow him wherever he was off to. I wanted him to ask me to come along. But it was
foolish, that thought, like all my thoughts of kindness for him, all my feelings of love. Yes, he
was telling us before he went but that did not take away from the pain of his going. And for
what? He would never answer me if I asked. I was sure Mother probably knew just as she
probably knew where he was going but she would never tell us. She was the keeper of his
secrets, his guide, the one who kept things together in his crazy world. And now it was to her that
he gave his response concerning my fate.
If it comes to that and she would like to come, of course she may. But if she does not want to
uproot, she can stay here. Leave her the house
I am right here, Luke! Speak to me about my future! You could at least spare me that
kindness, couldnt you? I demanded. I couldnt sit there another moment. Anything he would
say would be a lie or a half-truth concerning this absence of his. Again he would ask that I
understand without knowing what it was I was supposed to be making allowances for. I had been
in his house, in his armsand none of it mattered at the end of the day because Luke was going
to do as he damned well pleased with no thought for my feelings on the matter. I got up silently
and went upstairs, locking my door behind me. I had told him in the past that I wanted not to
change him, that he was perfect as he was, but the truth was there inside my chest where a ball of
hurt had lodged. There were some parts of him that pained me too much and the truth was that he
would never change, not even for me.
He must have anticipated what I would do because he came in the door with Mothers key in
his hand and a sly smile on his lips. I have spares to every room, you know. Youll have to do
better than that if you want to keep me out.
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I turned from the window where I was pretending not to notice when he walked in and I
replied bitterly, No, if I want to keep you out all I have to do is ask for an explanation or a say
in what you do. You would stay out well enough then.
He was on his way to where I stood until I spoke. As I turned I saw that he was standing in
the middle of the room with a look of anger in his eyes. Whats all this? What is going on inside
that pretty dark head of yours? He tried to smile but I knew it wasnt real. So much of what he
had shown me lately was like that.
I share your home, I let you share my bed without the protection of marriage vows, but you
will never let me share your life. For all of your pretty words and your tender promises, you
wont hint at that. I have no say in what you do though you have all but built the life I live. And
now you will be gone for what will feel to me like a small eternity and all you can do is take me
in a room and tell me with everyone else. When you discuss how I shall be handled, for that is
exactly what you were doing down there, I would prefer it if you would do so with me, not
Mother. I think Ive had enough choices made for me if its all the same to you.
He thought he understood. I knew that when he gave me a real smile and came over to
embrace me. I wont be gone so long, my love
I broke from his arms and I moved away from him because if I didnt I knew that I would
slap him in my frustration. It doesnt matter! It doesnt matter if you were only leaving for a
week! What matters is that you do not love me enough to love me all the way! That is the
problem with us, Luke, and that is what makes me wonder why I share your bed or your home!
What are we doing?
I sat on the bed, pressing my back against the pillows as I drew my knees up to my chest. For
a moment he said nothing, he did nothing, he just stood there looking at the spot where I had
been a moment before. I thought he would leave then, go hide away in his rooms as he was so
fond of doing. But instead he came to me, sat beside of me, and he tried to take me in his arms.
When I resisted, he draped an arm around my shoulders and he said softly in Greek, There are
so many things you do not know because you cannot know them. I cannot share with you
everything. To do so would put us both in great danger, sweet girl. It is not that I dont want to. I
have searched for an eternity to find someone outside of Cook, Cherise, and Mother that I could
love, someone I could love in the way that I love you. But when you are old and you take your
last breath, you will leave me. So I cannot give you all. There are differences between us that
you would never understand and I cannot get around them. But I beg you to try, for tonight at
least, to understand those things you cannot know so I can have this time with you before I go.
I wasnt satisfied with his explanation. I wasnt happy leaving things like that. But he was
right on one point. I did not want him to go without having one last night before he went off. I
got the impression from the way that he and Mother talked downstairs that there was danger
attached to this trip and I could not bear the thought of him being harmed in some way but even
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worse, I couldnt stomach the thought of such a thing happening without us having one more
night of love. So I let him kiss me and I kissed him just as deeply. I let him run his hands through
my hair; I let him explore my body as he had done so much in the last few months. Where once
there was fear in moments like this, now I felt only lust and anticipation. I wanted him, god help
me I did, and I loved him with all I had. In the days of loneliness to come that may not feel like
enough but in that moment, it was all I needed. His cold skin against mine made me shiver. I had
come to love the feel of it even if I didnt understand it at all, the icy way it felt even in the
summertime, the hard marble-like feel of it under my finger tipI craved it. That was one aspect
of him that I would never question. It was the one mystery I wanted to forever keep in our
fairytale.
The next evening when he came down I could hardly look at him. The sorrow was already
settled in my stomach and he hadnt even gone yet. While he kissed me and stroked my hair back
from my face, Mother seemed to soften toward us. There was something in her expression that
made me think as I let him go that she definitely saw what was growing between us, the love that
I had for her beloved Lucania. She was even kind enough to turn away when he moved in to kiss
me so I didnt have to feel shy about returning the kiss. As soon as he whispered his goodbye to
me, he turned to her and embraced her and it was then I thought he might break with the emotion
that appeared on his face but he did not. Not even as Cherise, poor dear, wept in his arms and ran
from the room when he said he had to go. But as soon as Cook hugged him, he rushed out into
the night, the cool air of early autumn lingering as a final goodbye. My heart was aching in a
way it hadnt ached since I lost my father and I found myself whispering a prayer of protection
for his travels that I thought I had long forgotten.
In the days and nights that followed an almost unbearable loneliness settled inside of me and
it seemed that the company of the others only intensified it. And why not? Every time I looked at
them, every time I walked around the house, the grounds, even my own bedchamber, I thought of
him. It was only in the library that I found peace. Sure, he and I had shared moments there but
since the first time I laid eyes on that room a part of me had claimed it as mine and mine alone.
So that is where I sought my refuge, amongst the beauty and the books. When Luke left it
seemed my ability to sleep went with him and I spent more hours in that room than I could count,
reading everything I had not read before until I was bored with what was left. The desire to get
my hands on one of the old books at the very top of the massive shelves began almost as soon as
he departed. I cant say why but it seemed to me like this was my chance to prove that I still had
a mind of my own, that I could do things of my own accord and I could still be the mistress of
my own life. Perhaps it also seemed like a way to pay him back for leaving in the first place. It
took two weeks before the temptation to peek inside of those ancient texts overwhelmed me until
I found myself at the top of the massive sliding ladder stretching to reach one of the old books I
was told to leave alone.
Most of the people in the villages around us would have been highly disappointed in my
position because the first book I took down was written in a very old form of Greek. Fortunately,
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I was able to understand enough to read it and make out what it was saying. The text was about
two pieces of Greek mythology I couldnt remember reading before. The first was about a
creature called Empusa, the daughter of Hecate. As I read a story was woven about the creature
taking the form of a beautiful young woman in order to seduce men and drink their blood. I
thought this odd to be sure but I often felt that way where myths were concerned and so I read on
to the next tale, one of a former human woman named Lamia. She was not a deity like the blood
sucking female whose story preceded hers but rather the daughter of a king. Like so many in
Greek myth, she had an affair with Zeus and when Hera found out she, as she was apt to do,
turned her rage toward the woman instead of her unfaithful husband and she killed the children
the couple had sired behind her back. In return, Lamia swore to get revenge by consuming the
blood of infants. At the end she could no longer close her eyes (another hateful act from Hera)
and her face was turned gruesome as a result of her terrible acts. I thought the story strange,
perhaps a bit tragic, but it was the notes I found in the margins of the book that really intrigued
me. The words were also the same form of old Greek, though they were scrolled by someone in
an untidy hand, and all I could make out was talk of a change, destruction of humanity, and
something about a linka link between these tales and a change that had occurred. I was too
confused to stop after that.
The next book was thin and it was written in a Latin typical of old Rome. It was a book about
creatures the ancient Romans called striges that could change into the shape of owls and would
drink the blood of babies. Again there was the handwriting from the first book scrawled in the
margins and again the words were in Greek but this time they were neater on the page and easier
for me to make out. The one sentence that I made out in its entirety said, No shape changing
(lie/myth), no knowledge of anyone drinking from babies, but still a connection? A connection
to what? I did not know but I was determined to read until I found out. Over the next few days I
poured over those ancient manuscripts reading about vampire legends from around the world.
The strigoi in Romania (notes in the margin? Strangest myth yet. Virtually no truth to it. Only
the part about the blood is accurate), books on German vampire forms like the Alp and the
Breslau, fairy vampire creatures from Scotland and Ireland, the Upyr in Russia, and finally the
most recent book talking of the vampires in England. It was only about fifty years old, and like
all of the rest it had that same handwriting down to the way it was slanted in the margins. By the
end of it all I was left with more questions than answers and I was about to give up on it
altogether when I found, as I was replacing that last small volume of lore, what appeared to be a
small book. But when I opened it I realized at once that it was a journal. Not just any journal in
fact but Lucaniasonly that was impossible. Because the date on the front cover made it nearly
one hundred years old.
As I held the bound book in my hand, much like my own journal upstairs, my heart began to
pound. Something was telling me to put it back, to end all of this searching before I discovered
something I would never be able to wipe from my mind. A thin sheen of sweat broke out all over
my body despite the fact that the large windows were open to the cool evening breeze. Soon the
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others would come down from their rooms and one of them might recognize what I held in my
hand. I had to make up my mind in that moment whether I would put the book back and leave
well enough alone or whether I would walk out of that room with the book clutched in my hands
so I could squirrel it away upstairs and pour over everything that was within. For a moment I did
move to replace it but I found when I tried my hand froze in mid-air, my heart pounded a little
harder, and I could not do what I thought I must. Instead I found myself trying to stuff the book
down the front of my dress and when I thought I had succeeded to the best of my ability, I
walked quickly down the ladder and rushed from the room. I held my breath as I walked at a
speed that was nearly a run up the two flights of stairs and only as I turned the lock on my
bedchamber door was I able to really breathe. I had done ityet the sinking feeling in the pit of
my stomach all but warned that what I was about to do would not give me cause for a
celebration.
The first thing I noticed when I turned to the first page of the journal was that the
handwriting here was the same handwriting I had seen again and again in the margins of the old
books downstairs. It was identical right down to the language it was written in and although it
wasnt impossible for someone to know this form of Greek so completely in the century before,
it was rare. That was odd. But it was the name, written in English for a reason I could not
understand along with the date that really gave me pause. I had seen that handwriting before and
as my mind raced I moved to get my own journal from the place I kept it so I could compare the
way my name had been written out to the way Lucania looked in the book before me. Sure
enough the two were identical. I thought I had been mistaken and I probably studied the two
pieces of writing for over an hour before I would accept that they were, indeed, penned by the
same hand. There was no denying it. Though how it was possible, I did not know and in order to
find out I swore to myself I would read through this and if it did not answer my questions than I
would find a way to break into Lucanias rooms upstairs and I would search until I found the
answers I was looking for.
At first I thought that perhaps, somehow, the date was simply written wrong. The first two or
three entries were nothing more than mundane facts about Lukes nights with his little family.
Talk of leaving England for France was put on hold when he met a young girl named Cherise.
The entry after that spoke only of his desire to take her from the life on the streets that threatened
to claim her, the pimp that beat her nightly, and his feelings of a brotherly affection toward her. I
smiled as I read this declaration of affection. But then my heart again began its hard thud and the
sweat again came forth from me as I read that forth entry. I was shaking by the time I had
finished it, the talk of Cherise having a disease that was incurable, Lukes knowledge that if he
did not turn her she would surely die, and his internal struggle over turning a sweet, precious
girl into a demonic thing like himself. What could that mean? And if she had some terrible
disease once, how was it that she was now walking through the house a picture of perfect health
as I read?
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The fifth entry, the next one, was the one that turned my stomach as I fought to take in what
it was telling me. Luke started out expressing his misery, his pain over what he had been forced
to do. He wrote of the night that Cherise came to him burning alive with fever talking
nonsensical madness of mercury baths and dirty men who had all but killed her, and he took her
in knowing he no longer had time to contemplate the choice he would make. It was now or
never, he wrote, because he knew she would not live through the night unless he made it
possible. He talked of stripping her of her clothes to alleviate the heat of the fever and he spoke
of going to a neighbor to borrow water so he might wash her down with a rag and let her drink a
little. He tried to care for her while Mother advised against what he wanted to do, telling him that
what was happening, as tragic as it was, was the nature of humans and that he must let the girl
die as it was her time to die. But when she began entering the final stages before death he kicked
Mother out of the room where he was holding vigil beside of her bed because he knew he could
see her suffer no more. All of that was bad enough, confusing enough since I knew she lived
stillbut what he wrote next was the part that literally took my breath away. He told of the way
that he bit into her wrist as Mother had told him to do once before and he drank her blood until
her heart was close to stopping. He then bit his own flesh on his wrist and made her drink the
blood he had just stolen from her. He ended the entry by saying that for better or worse, what
was done was done and he only hoped that his dear friend did not hate him for it when she woke
up a monster.
I closed the book with a bit of force then because I couldnt go any further. If his words
were true than this truth would turn my life, my love, upside down. I mean, he was talking about
being a vampire and about making Cherise a vampire too. And if Mother was the one who taught
him how to turn her than that meant she was a vampire as well. My head was spinning, my
mouth was dry, and just when I thought I had pushed the threat of sickness away, I had to run to
the lavatory because the sickness was coming up in my throat. When I could stand, when my
head stopped spinning, I made my way down to the kitchen where I knew there were bottles of
brandy that Cook kept for some of the recipes he had tried out. I grabbed one of the bottles,
thought about the things I might be forced to accept, and grabbed another. The others had woken
up and they had left as they did every night only that night as I sat on my bed with the silence of
an empty house around me I found myself wondering if they were out hunting humans for their
blood. It did explain quite a bit about the way all of them lived, even Cook, though it made me
sick to admit it. I had never seen a single one of them out when the sun was shining. I had never
watched any of them consume food despite that fact that Cook spent his nights slaving away over
a hot stove. And when I came did Luke not have to give me melted snow and did he not have to
go to market to find something for me to eat? But if all of this were true, if the man I loved and
those he kept around him were all vampires, why had they never tried to do me harm?
Everything felt like it was just too much to take in but as I sat drinking brandy from the bottle I
knew that as soon as I could, I would read on.
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When I was numb enough from the drink, I opened the book again to the passage directly
following the last one. According to the date on the entry a month had passed since Luke had
made Cherise into a vampire and they were now, along with Mother and Cook, traveling through
the French countryside to a house he claimed he had owned for the better part of four centuries.
As he described it I realized with a start that it was the very house I was sitting in. He made
reference to a terrible thing that had happened the last time he was in France and how he hoped
never to repeat such a horrible experience, especially with a newborn vampire (yes, here he
finally said the word) traveling with him. In this entry he also told of teaching Cherise to hunt,
showing her how to read minds to pick out people who were bad, evil in some cases, and
instilling in her the importance of never drinking from an innocent just as his maker had once
done with him. This was the first time he really spelled out the murder he was committing, the
murder he taught Cherise to commit, in black and white leaving no room for denial. With a deep
breath I went on and this was how I spent the rest of the night and most of the next morning. The
journal had covered the span of ten years, their first ten years here at the castle, and by the end
my head felt as if it might cave in with the weight of all I now knew. By the time I fell asleep I
had already decided what my next move would be. When I woke up I was going to find a way
into Lucanias bed chambers one way or the other.
The plan I came up with when I awoke to the late afternoon sun was quite simple. If I was in
fact surrounded by vampires as I now believed I was, I had roughly two hours before the sun
went down. Although I knew Lukes bedchamber was made very dark even in the midday, I also
knew that there was a large window at the end of the hall that had no shutters because they were
ripped off during a wind storm the month before and no one had replaced them yet. Yes, even
Lukes reaction to that now made sense where, at the time, it had only left me puzzled. When the
groundskeeper told him what had happened he said only, At least it happened at night. At any
rate, all three of my companions slept on that floor so I knew that if they were in fact monsters, I
had two hours to get in the room and grab what I could of his books and papers and get the hell
out before the rest of the house awoke. Grabbing a hair pin from my vanity, I prepared myself for
what I was about to do.
I was silent as a church mouse as I walked up the secret staircase I had come to know well. I
was all but holding my breath when I reached the landing and made my way to Lukes door. I
must admit that a part of me wanted very much to shout, make some noise, and see Mother come
running because if she did than I would know all I read the night before had been nothing more
than a fantastic tale. But I could not risk my life just in case the terrible feeling in my stomach
was right and all I had read was truth. So I was completely silent as I used the hair pin to pick the
lock on the bedchamber door. I had never done this before but somehow I was able to manage it
with an ease that surprised me. It took little time before I was in. I wanted very much to open the
shutters but I feared if I did, one of the men who took care of the grounds might see and mention
it to Mother so I stumbled around with the light of one candle in the absolute darkness not even
sure what I was looking for but hoping I would know it when I found it.
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I moved quickly, perhaps quicker than I ever had before. In his large desk I found papers but
they were mostly correspondences concerning the maintenance of the house, bills from the tailor,
and things of that nature. There was nothing more than mundane things there and in a way I had
expected no less. Knowing what I knew of Luke, I couldnt believe he had made a mistake like
leaving his journal with its important truths in the library where I could easily get to it. After
investigating the walls in the room to see if I might be able to find a secret weak spot where he
might hold important documents, I realized that there was nothing like the book I found
downstairs in his bedchambers. As I snuck out of the room, careful to lock the door behind me, I
wondered if perhaps he had destroyed any other journals he might have once owned somehow
forgetting the one I found. I actually went straight to my room thinking it was pointless to
continue my search. I needed more answers than I had received but if they were gone
Suddenly I had a memory of the wall that I was once chained to. That wall was the only
original wall left in the house that had not been covered with wood, the only one that remained
only stone as all the walls once were. And the second night I was at the house when I leaned
against it just right one of the large stones had shifted slightly. Perhaps it wasnt in his
bedchambers that he kept his secrets. Maybe it was the parlor there on the third floor. In a way it
seemed perfect if that were the case that he should keep such secrets in the same place where he
once kept me. Armed once more with resolve alone, I made my way quietly down the hall. I had
about an hour left before sundown and if my hunch was correct, I wouldnt need that long to do
what I needed to do.
I locked the door behind me when I entered the familiar room. Mother had a key and if I did
take too long, she could get in if she chose but I would have time to hide the evidence of my
crimes if I could hear her unlocking the door. As I could never forget my first memories of my
time in Lukes home, I knew exactly where my chains once hung and I went to that spot as I
fought to remember the place where the stone slab shifted. Pushing on the possibilities I found
that there were four loose spots, not just one, and with much difficulty I began the task of
moving them out of my way. Or rather, I moved the first one, stuck my hand inside the
considerably large spot where it was, touched what felt like a stack of books, and then I began
moving the others. In my excitement and my intense concentration I could have been caught
because I wouldnt have heard a blast just then, let alone the turning of a lock. But I was lucky.
Once the stones were moved I found probably thirty thin books all like the one I had found
the night before and a leather satchel that contained within it a stack of parchment. I had no time
to investigate. As fast as I could, I replaced the stones, gathered up what I could carry at once,
and at a run I took them to my room before going back for the rest. The sun had started to go
down so I knew I had little time to hide what I had found. My window seat seemed like the
perfectly obvious place so that is where I put it all save for one journal that I left out to read. It
could take months to read all of them. I knew that. But if I found what I thought I might in the
words I wouldnt need that long because I would be gone before Lucania returned.
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I was about to start reading the one I had kept out, the one that started twenty years before the
last, when I was startled by a knock on my door. Hiding the journal behind my pillows, I got up
to turn the lock only to have Cherise come in looking visibly upset. Actually I had never seen her
quite like this before. She wasnt upset; I realized as I looked at her again that she was angry.
What is there between you and the Master? She demanded. Although no one in the house ever
discussed it openly I thought everyone knew what had been going on between Lucania and me
for the past few months. Also, I couldnt believe I was about to have this conversation in the
middle of everything I had learned knowing that this was no longer my dear, sweet Cherise as I
knew her but rather a vampire who could kill me in the blink of an eye. But no, she wouldnt do
that, would she? Because her Master instilled in her the importance of never killing an
innocent
Whatever are you talking about? I asked in return. Perhaps she wasnt talking about our
affair. Maybe it was something else she thought she knew.
I am talking about you going to bed with the Mastermy Masterknowing how I feel
about him! Because you do know, I am sure of it. You are not like the others. They do not pay
attention to the emotions that are hidden by those around them but you do. I know you do. How
could you?
She looked beautiful in that moment with her strange white flesh turned a little pink
(something I had seen on all of them at one point or another though I could not say what created
the change) and her light hair an absolute mess falling out of her chignon. I wasnt about to lie to
her. Vampire or no, she had been good to me as long as I had been in the house. And she was
right; I did know exactly how she felt about him. But I also knew how he felt about her and I
would never tell her that information so I opted instead to tell her the truth of what was between
us and to feign confusion about her feelings. I am in love with him, Cherise. Yes, Ive been
sharing his bed and there was a time when I thought I wanted to share his life. But I am afraid I
do not know what you mean about your feelings for him. I thought that he was like a brother to
you.
For the longest time she didnt speak. She only stood before me with her pretty face, usually
serene, contorted in anger before she hissed out, You do not know him! You will never know
him! And because of that, what is between the two of you was doomed before it started! And as
far as you not knowing I am in love with himyou are a damned liar, Arianne, and I dont
believe I shall ever forgive you for this!
With that she stormed out of the room dramatically slamming the door hard behind her. I
thought about going after her and attempting once more to explain my lie to her but I didnt have
the heart or the energy for the argument. I decided that I would let her cool down and when she
was ready I was sure she would come to me again. In the meantime I had work to do. I was
going to find out my lovers secrets even if it meant killing our love in the process. I had a bottle
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of brandy left from the night before and I took it from my bedside table. Again I felt as if I
needed it to get me through what I was about to read.
Because Cherise was angry with me and Mother never was one for randomly visiting with
me, I was left alone for a week. During that week I went through every journal I had found and I
was startled by it all. Page after page going back three hundred years talking of the murder of
human beings right alongside tales of his travels. In the older ones he talked about his youth in
ancient Crete, about his parents, details he remembered of his daily life there. He also talked
quite a bit about the sunshine he remembered from his youth and how badly he sometimes
yearned to see it again. If these words belonged to someone else I might have pitied him but I
was too hurt, too startled by the things that I read to feel anything else. In one entry he talked of
his history with Mother and Cook, how Mother had indeed been his familys slave and how his
earliest memories were of her and the love she showered upon him even though she was only ten
years old at the time of his birth. Cook had been the one who prepared the meals for his family,
another slave. He wasnt Greek as Mother and Luke were but rather an Egyptian child stolen
from his home. All of this I read feeling, by the time I got to the oldest of the journals,
completely detached from all of it. These were no longer the stories of the man I loved. No, this
was something to be studied and picked apartthe words of an ancient monster.
The one entry that did make me feel for him, the one that did make me remember that this
was the same man who held me less than a month earlier, a man whose absence made me weep,
was when he talked about being made a vampire. Apparently Mother was turned first. She had
befriended two men who simply appeared one night in Knossos, the city of his birth in Crete.
The men told no stories of where they came from and they had the strangest living habits. No
one saw them outside during the day, they refused to eat even if food was set out on a plate for
them, and they had death white skin that was odd for the location and the fact that one of the
men, the one called Lucius, was Greek. Mother started leaving with these men at night and then
one morning, a few months after they came, she didnt come home. It was six months before
Luke saw her again and when she did return it was to see the boy she had raised because she had
heard that he was dying.
In fact he was dying. He had contracted a disease native to the Mediterranean at that time
and when Mother showed up he estimated that he would have been dead by dawn. When he saw
her he thought she was a ghost. Her skin was pale white now, her eyes had changed, and when
she wept for him her tears were stained with blood. When he tried to speak his voice was gone
and Mother took his hand telling him she had a way to save him, a way to not only make him
live but to let him be young and beautiful for all time. She told him her friends, the strange men
from out of town, had the secret and she would have to take him to them. As she told him this he
got sick and when Mother looked she saw that he was throwing up blood. No longer waiting for
his consent, she got Cook and demanded that he help her sneak Lucania out of the house and to
the other side of town. Lukes memory faded at that point until he awoke briefly and saw one of
the men, the Greek one, hovering over him. Are you sure this is what you want, boy? Luke
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nodded, not knowing what the man was talking about. He remembered feeling a sharp pain in his
neck, memories of his life flooding his mind, and then he lost consciousness.
So he had consented to becoming a vampire without really knowing what he was saying yes
to? I closed the journal because I needed to digest all of this. Mother had done what she thought
she had to do to save a boy that was a son to her despite the lack of blood between them. But had
she regretted it? Is that why, when he wanted to make Cherise to keep her from dying, she had
advised him against it? That was my theory. But knowing Mother as I did, I doubted she would
ever admit to such regret, especially to Luke who might take it the wrong way. She could be
hard, she could be cold, but never would she say anything that might hurt the man she loved so
much. Hiding the book behind my pillow, I got up to go to the kitchen. I had been living on
bread and cheese for the better part of a weekbread, cheese, and plenty of brandy. When Cook
made the list for the man who got my groceries he must have taken note of my new habit and he
had the man to pick up more bottles of liquor than Ive ever seen outside of a tavern.
The other members of the house had stayed clear of the third floor. Cook had stopped his
nightly work on new recipes, Cherise never came to my door as I thought she would, and
Motherwell, like I said before, she was never one for socializing in the first place. I missed
them all but knowing what I now knew about their nature stopped me from seeking them out.
They had taken me in and befriended me knowing that I was human, that they were vampires,
yet each night they hunted people just like me probably from the same village I had grown up in.
This left me feeling conflicted. On the one hand, I wanted to run from the house and never
return. On the other, I had never felt as much love as I had had in that house with my own blood
sisters and they were all I had left. All of this was playing on my mind as I walked to the kitchen
and I was almost startled to see Cook sitting alone with his head in his hands. It wasnt until I
entered the room that I smelled the food that still sat in pans on the stove. When he heard me
come in he said softly, I made food. I suppose it is right. You will have to taste it and tell me.
I smiled at him. No matter what his nature, Cook was one of the kindest souls I had ever met
and there was nothing that could make me behave coldly toward him. Thank you, dear friend. I
am sure it is delicious. When I patted his shoulder he nearly jumped. What has you troubled,
Cook?
You hate us, Arianne. You are only here for Luke and you pretended to be our friendbut
when he left you stopped talking to us. If he left forever, you would just go home. That has me
troubled. He replied softly.
I sat down beside of him, my heart hurting for the pain I had caused him. I was still so
confused, so lost with the knowledge I had and this only made it worse. How could a monster be
sad because he thought a human didnt care for him? This was all so confusing, so draining. No
one ever told you how you should behave with a house full of vampires that you had come to
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love. That isnt true. I care for you and Cherise very much. I even care for Mother. But Cherise
is angry with me
Yes, she is but thats not me. Im not angry with you. I wouldnt mind if you stayed with
Luke forever. She thinks you two do not belong together, that you are too different, and that it
should be her instead. But he doesnt love her like that and he has been happier since you came
than I have ever seen himand I have known him a very long time. It is time for Cherise to let
go of him, to see that he cares for her like a dear friend and that will never change. Maybe now
she will see
He paused then and I realized something that I should have seen months before. Cook was in
love with Cherise. Why dont you tell her? Tell her that you love her.
He looked me in the eyes and I was sure I had never seen such a sorrowful expression. In
Lucanias journals he had said on more than one occasion that one of the worst parts of being a
vampire is the intensity with which they feel emotions, as if the inability to feel physical pain
somehow heightened ones ability to ache emotionally. I didnt believe it when I read it. But as I
looked at Cook I was sure that Lukes words had been true. Me? Why would she ever want me?
She is so beautiful and II am only the cook.
She doesnt feel that way. She cares for you. Ive seen it in the way she looks at you. If you
only talk to her
Suddenly he stood, shaking his head no. Try the food. I hope it is good. And please
remember us once in a while as you sit in that room alone. Some people have to be alone, you
know. They dont have friends who love them. But you do. So dont stay away so long. And
then he walked out leaving me in a state of confusion worse than any I had felt before it. I had
decided that once I finished reading I was going to leave. I decided that the first night, that I
would go back to the little shack with my evil sister and bear my fate in silence. But now I
wasnt so sure. I had grown to love them all and they had not changed. It wasnt as if they were
human when I cameno, most of them hadnt been human in more than a thousand years. Was
it right for me to change toward them? It seemed I would be betraying my own kind by staying
but what had my own kind ever done for me besides mistreat me? The only person who ever
treated me with love and kindness was my dear papa and now he was dead too. So should I leave
those who loved me to go back to those who couldnt care less if I lived or died?
After I ate, I cleaned up the mess, grabbed a bottle and went back to my room. I read Lukes
words about those first years as a vampire, about Cook being changed because he wouldnt leave
until Lucius made it possible for him to stay with the two people he loved above all else. He
talked of leaving Greece with Lucius, the other vampire known as Angelus, Mother, and Cook,
of traveling for the first time to countries like Spain and France, and of finally deciding that it
was time for his little family to part ways from the men who had so altered the course of their
futures. Mother, he wrote, was the silent leader of their clan though he took the reins in many
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ways. A part of him resented during those first years what had become of him though he
wouldnt say it. He thought he should have died that night as was the plan for his life so he might
have gone on to his next life because that was the way of things. But he knew that his only way
out was suicide and he would not consider that. So he learned to accept what he was and he took
note of all the things Lucius had taught him, what Angelus had taught him, though Angelus was
not much older than Luke. And he expanded on this knowledge night after night with books he
found on his kind and through trial and error. In this way he made it through the centuries
Someone was beating on my door and then I heard Cherise screaming, Hes home, Arianne,
hes home! The Master is driving up on his horse right this moment! Come on, come greet him!
I froze. What should have been a happy moment for me was now a moment I met with fear
and trepidation. I had to tell Luke what I knew. To my way of thinking, there was simply no way
around that. I dont know how he had managed to keep his secret from me for so long but I could
not lie in his arms as he would expect me to with such a secret between us anymore. But how
would he react when he realized what I knew? What would keep him from killing me, throwing
me out, vowing never to see me again? He had written about a terrible thing that happened the
last time he was in this house. Had it involved a human, perhaps one that he had trusted who
turned on him when she learned the truth? Was it Charlotte, the betrayal he had mentioned once
before, that led to it? It was only when I thought of it that I realized I had no intentions on telling
anyone his secret no matter what way everything went. With a deep breath I rose, intent on
meeting my lover with my strength intact and facing whatever may come.
He was already in the house when I reached the first floor. Cherise was hugging him to her
telling him how thrilled she was that he was home safe. Mother was watching the stairs as if she
were waiting on me to come. I gestured to her to go to him, feeling it would be best if I was the
last to greet him but as soon as I did that, his eyes met mine and despite all I had learned, I felt
my heart leap. I wanted very much to go to him, to feel his arms around me, but I found that I
simply couldnt. The look on his face changed as I watched from a puzzled expression to one of
fury. I was confused, more so when he walked up to me, took my arm, and whispered, Go to
your chambers. I will meet you there shortly.
What the hell was going on? I wasnt sure but I did as I was told, waiting on the window seat
for him to come in. When he did, he slammed the door behind him and I knew I had not
misjudged what I saw on his face. He was in a proper rage. In his hands he held a small bound
book that looked quite a bit like the others I had taken. My dear Arianne, you forgot one. Here,
take it! With that he threw the book across the room so that it landed on the bed. What do you
feel now? Hum? Disgust? Are you revolted by me? Now have you learned to hate me, to fear
me? If I thought you could handle the truth, goddamn it, I would have told you myself! Now that
you know I suppose you will leave and I will not try to stop you. But if you betray me, know that
you will never see me again. I can forgive many things but putting those I love at risk is not one
of them! Why couldnt you have simply accepted what I gave you and asked for no more? He
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gave me no time to speak before he turned and left me. I wanted to go after him but I stayed
where I was long after he had gone. Was he telling the others that I knew? Was he planning to
leave at once just in case I betrayed his trust?
In that moment I felt as if I had no choice but to go. However, I wanted to read the journal
he brought me first. I cant say why. Perhaps it was just my curiosity or maybe I was truly
looking for a reason to stay. The first entry was just three months before I came and at once I
read through these waiting to see what, if anything, he had written about me. The first night that I
was there, the night that I was unconscious, he wrote that he was at my side, that he couldnt help
stroking my hair, that he hoped I would live because I was the most beautiful creature he had
ever seen. He hoped the townspeople hadnt put me up to coming, that this wasnt another trick
like the last time, because he couldnt stand to feel for another woman only to find that her love
was fake and that she had been pretending all along so she and the others might destroy him. As I
read on, there was line after line talking about the way he was falling in love with me, how I
made him feel warm, human, and how it would pain him when I decided to take my leave of
him. The last entry was written the night before he told us he had to leave. It did not speak of
why he had to go, of any danger, but rather of the way that he would miss me, how he would
ache for me until he saw my beautiful face once more. I was weeping when I shut it and as I
looked outside I saw that it was nearly dawn. I had very little time left if I wanted to go to him
and I did, very much.
At a run I went up the secret staircase knowing he was in his chambers and I beat upon his
door until my fists ached. Luke, let me in. I am sorryI am sorry for everything. But it isnt
what you think. I dont want to go and I would never tell a soulI would never put you in
danger. I love you still, you damned fool, and if you dont let me in
I almost fell through the doorway when he opened the door. If I dont let you in what?
Youll bust through the door? Five feet of pure fury you are. He should have smiled with that
but he did not. What do you want? What could you possibly have to say to me? I am a monster,
a beast, and youWell, look at you! You are a beautiful mortal woman with your entire life
ahead of you! What is there to keep us together?
You were a vampire when you left this house, were you not? Nothing has changed. I know
your secret so you no longer have to worry that I might find out. You dont have to hide who you
are in the shadows. I know.
Looking at the window down the hall, he took my arm and brought me inside. I couldnt see
him in the darkness but I knew that he could see me. And do you accept me? Do you accept
what I am, what I do to survive?
After everything I had done in the name of truth, I could not lie to him. Not yet, no. I have
battled with it since I read the first journal. I have often thought to myself that I had to leave, go
from you and the others I love here. But then I realized that you were all vampires when you
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took me in, when you fed me and clothed me, when you loved me. So now I want to stay and I
want to accept it. I know that in time I can. In the darkness I grabbed for him and I smiled when
he took my hand. When he pulled me to him, I was finally able to lay my head on his chest and
feel his arms, his powerful arms, encircle my waist. I love you still, Luke. I know who you are
and I love you still. That is how I know that in time I will be able to accept who you are. But if
you choose to cast me out, we will never know.
And how will you feel when you are an old woman with no children because you loved a
monster? How will you feel when you are on your death bed and I cannot hold your hand in your
last moments because the sun is up or when your skin begins to wrinkle and your hair turns white
but I look as I always have? Will you still love me then?
I think in such a case the question is, will you still love me? Will you want me when my
skin is old and my hair is gray knowing that you could so easily go on and be with another who
is as young as I am now? I questioned in return for I had surely asked myself that enough in the
last few days.
He kissed the top of my head, my eyes, my cheeks. You foolish girl, of course I will. But
you dont know, you dont realize in this moment, what you will be giving up to love me for a
lifetime. Casual affairs between humans and my kind are common enough I suppose but to love
a human their whole life? Ive never heard it done. And I am not surprised. You will weep
because of me, you will feel lonely at times, it will not be easy, this match. I can never marry
you. I cant give you children. All of the things women dream of
I put my fingers to his lips to stop the words from coming. Lets stop. Just stop with the
horrors of the future, with what might be, and see what is, Lucania. I not only love you, I burn
with love for you. If I left you I would spend a lifetime wondering what would have happened if
I had stayed. The truth is that there would be no happiness in that either. Whatever divides us, we
have this and if it were not binding I would have gone already. I thought on it more times than I
can say. I couldnt. I could not leave you even knowing what you are. Does that not tell you
something?
Suddenly he let me go, all but pushing me away, actually. It is late. I will get into bed and I
will tell you when it is safe for you to open the door. He said simply.
But I already knew that I would go nowhere. I knew the danger to him now. I knew what I
could not do. And I saw no reason anymore for me to sleep in my bed while he lay in his. If I had
argued the point he would only have risked injury to force me out if it came to that. So I waited
for him to get into his huge bed and to call that I could go and I opened the door, shutting it for
him to hear. What I know now of the vampire senses assures me that he knew I was still in the
room. He could smell my skin, my blood, hear the sound of my breathing and the beating of my
heart but he said nothing and when I was sure he slept I felt my way around the room to the bed.
I stood in place with the bed curtains clutched in my hand afraid to open them. I cant say why.
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Taking a deep breath, I pulled them back and climbed as gently as I could into his bed, a place I
had all but dreamed of being for so long. In the dark as he slept I would listen to his chest
knowing his heart would not beat for me to hear. I would touch his ice cold skin knowing at last
why it was cold. I would run my fingers through his beautiful hair knowing at last why it was so
silky, so unreal. I would do all of the things he never gave me time to do in the past and I would
do it without the questions that his body so often formed for me. This was the beginning of my
acceptance, the first step in loving him for what he was.

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Chapter 6
I awoke to hard lips passionately working my mouth. Half asleep, I raised my hand to stroke
Lukes hair and I couldnt help but smile against him. All that had passed before seemed to dim
in comparison with the simple joy of waking up with him. It was like a dream, the way he
touched me, and when he entered me I could do nothing but sigh in my pleasure. Whatever he
was, he was mine. And by god, I loved him. I loved him so much it ached even as it made me
grin. You are a foolish girl to put yourself at such a disadvantage. I could overpower you, end
your life at once while you are wide awake. How easy do you think it would be to kill you while
you slept at my side? Waking beside of a hungry vampire who can hear your very heart pumping
that precious blood through your warm body? Foolish is an understatement. Perhaps you have a
death wish. He said in a dark tone even as he thrust inside of me. I suppose if I had any sense I
would have been afraid. I should have been. But I wasnt. I had long ago put all of my trust in
him knowing that at any time he might break it. If the stakes were now my life instead of just my
heart, it only meant that whatever game we were playing, we were certainly playing for keeps.
The first time I laid eyes on you I was bound against your wall. You could have killed me at
any time even if you had been as mortal as me. I trusted I couldnt speak for a moment as a
wave of ecstasy ripped through me. I trusted you then and I trust you still.
He made a noise that was not quite human as he slammed us both headlong into a climax. All
of the times before had been wonderful but this was something different altogether. This was
pure beauty. I wanted him to hold me as he always did but instead he stood up and he put on
clothes in the dark. I watched him the best I could feeling confused when I realized that he was
just going to leave me there. Are you going to run again? Is that what this is? You fucked me
and now youre going to disappear for a month like none of it matters? I questioned, using
anger to mask my pain.
He moved so fast that I had no time to register the fact that he had moved at all before his
hands were planted firmly on my shoulders. First things first. I come and go as I please.
I shook my head and when I pulled away I was frustrated to realize he wouldnt let me go
and I couldnt get out of his grasp. No. Not if you plan to keep on living a life with me. I am
nothing more than a moment in your life, Luke. You were here for centuries before I was born
and you will be here centuries after I am dead and buried. You have the rest of eternity to be a
stubborn bastard who does things on his own time. But if you want me with you in this way, you
will no longer live your life for you alone. I dont. I would never walk out without an explanation
and return whenever I felt like it. Give me as much respect as you get. A vampire you may be but
if you are capable of love you are capable of showing human kindness. I replied firmly. I could
see his mesmerizing eyes in the darkness, I could feel him trying to get into my head. Not this
time, I thought.
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For the longest time he didnt speak and then he let go of me and said simply, I am going
out to hunt. Ill be back when Im through. And though he slammed the door so hard the very
floor boards shook as he left the room I considered that progress.
I was in the library when he returned. Although I had been a bit too busy to notice the night
before, it seemed that my beloved had picked up some new books and apparently his travels had
taken him to Scotland because each and every novel in the crate, all of the books that I placed on
the shelf, was penned by Scottish writers. I was reading poetry when I heard his heavy boots
outside the door and when he paused I wondered what sort of mood he would be in. Knowing
Luke, it was just as likely that he would come in and tell me to fuck off as that he might be in
high spirits. One simply never knew from one moment to the next. As he walked past me his
expression was nearly unreadable. Still, there was something contemplative in his eyes. I
assume you have questions. You must. My journals told you a great deal but they didnt tell you
everything.
I put my book aside at once and devoted my attention to him. This wasnt what I was
expecting but it made me smile. This told me more than simply that he wanted to share things
with me. It told me that he wanted to continue on with what we had. I have many questions.
Where would you like me to start?
He made a gesture with his hand as if it didnt matter but he said, Start with the simple ones
and well work on from there.
I read the books of lore that you had and there must have been at least ten different names
for the sort of creature you are. How did you settle on the term vampire? Where did it come
from?
I believe its Greek, or it comes originally from Greece. The Greek form of the word, as
you may already know, is but one letter off from the word for bat. Some of the mythology
surrounding us links us to those unwholesome creatures, a likeness that I have never appreciated,
personally. The one who made me said that the term came from the Gods who cursed him.
Thats a story for another time so please, dont ask me now. However, it was not a word that was
used by outsiders until a book was published about two hundred years ago that brought it into
public consciousness. Without another word he stood and I watched him go to one of the
shelves and push gently to reveal a very small cubby space. From it, he pulled a book that he
immediately brought to me. This I hide with care. It is the only completely true account of our
kind that I have ever found. This is not myth, it is not legend, it is real.
I opened it gently feeling somehow as if this was special in a way that even his own words
could not match. Something led me to the back of the book and my heart pounded hard as I read
the declaration of love from the priest who wrote it to the vampire who inspired it. Who were
they? Father McFadden? His lover? Do you know? I asked, amazed. So I wasnt the only one, I
thought. I dont know why but since I found out about Lukes nature I had started to feel quite
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alone in my love, as if I was the only person who had ever really given her heart to a creature
with cold white skin and a taste for blood.
I know very well. Her maker was made by my maker. Her name is Rapunzel and she was
the wife of Richard the Lionheart. At this my eyes shot up. So you know of him? Of course
you would. Shes been wiped from his history entirely but though she may not know it, people
still tell her story and she is quite famous amongst our kind for the tale you hold in your hands. If
she wasnt the true love of Angelus she would have been found and killed long ago. But he put
out the warning immediately as did Lucius. Anyone who touched her would burn slowly until
they begged for death. No one is foolish enough to go against those two. They are the oldest
vampires in the world. So no one dared do her harm. Frankly, though I dont know her reasons
behind the book, I admire her spirit. I also admire the fact that she made Angelus fall in love
with her. If you knew himhell, if she truly knew himyou would know that that was no small
feat. So I say long live the princess. With that he laughed a real laugh. I imagined if he had a
glass of wine, he would have toasted her name. A quick flash of jealously shot through me but I
said nothing of it.
And what of the priest? Angelus didnt I let my words trail off thinking of how
dangerous a jealous male vampire could probably be.
No, of course not. He was killed by his own church. They burned him alive as a heretic
because of that book. The story goes that on the night of the execution Rapunzel went mad and
after collecting the ashes of the priest, she burned down the church with everyone in it before
leaving the Scottish village. Theyve since rebuilt it. I was just there, actually. Still, I think her
spirit lives on in that place. You can tell by the way the locals look at me each time I visit that
they have not forgotten the stories they were told of her long ago.
Why were you there? I asked, feeling that damned jealousy well up inside of me again.
He must have sensed this because he laughed. Shes long gone from that place, I assure you.
Besides, even if I did not have you I would never dream of touching Angels love. It wouldnt be
proper. No, I had business of another sort to attend to, an old friend I needed to see. There was
news. Thats all.
I could think of nothing else I wanted to know that was basic or general. There was but one
burning question that had haunted me since he first mentioned it, haunted me even more since I
had learned his truth. Asking might cause him to shut down completely because this was a
wound that was still unhealed but I wanted to know. After all, how can you fight a ghost that you
cant see? What did Charlotte do to you, Luke? How did she betray you? Can you tell me
now? I asked softly.
When he stood up I thought he was going to walk out without a word but instead he began to
pace back and forth. I was silent as I waited on him, waited to see what he might say. If he told
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me he couldnt speak of it yet I would have understood. I knew this wound was deep. But he
started to talk as if he were far away from me lost in thoughts better left forgotten. She came to
me much as you did. She appeared on my doorstep one night saying she had lost her way in the
woods and she had walked for hoursin those days I kept food and drink around in case
suspicious townspeople ever came to call. So I offered her anything she wanted in the kitchen
and when she had her fill, I took her back to her home. Soon after she came again, to thank me
she said, and in time her visits increased. Then one night, perhaps a year after that first time, she
came again, always at night, only this time she was hysterical saying her father had beaten her
badly and she was afraid to return to her home. Indeed she was in a terrible state so I sent for a
midwife to tend her wounds and I allowed her to stay. I was already a little in love with her I
suppose. And in the months that followed that love blossomed until we were nearly as close as
you and I have been since the spring. She gave every portrayal of a girl madly in love and I was
stupid enough to believe.
I wanted to stop him and I actually stood, prepared to do just that. There was a misery
clouding his features that broke my heart and I wanted to make it go away, if not for his sake
than for my own. But he never saw me rise from the chair and somehow I knew that he needed to
go on. So I sat once more to listen to the rest of his tale.
At some point Charlotte began making trips to town in the daylight hours. She started
observing us all with a close eye and asking questions about the way we live. Mother was
suspicious at once and she was constantly telling me to send the girl away but this was the first
time we had shared a home with a mortal in a long time. I thought that alone was making her
uneasy and I chalked the girls questions up to human curiosity. One night the three of us came
home from hunting and there was a group of men from the town with torches blazing prepared to
kill us alland she was with them. She was shouting the things she knew, the things she thought
she knew, telling insane tales of people chained in dungeons, of their cries piercing the night.
He sat so suddenly it made me jump. I wanted to touch him, to comfort him. Instead I wept
soft tears for us both. What happened? I asked, assuming he would answer that he and the
others fled at once. For a moment I suppose I forgot what he was.
I killed them all. What else could I do? They came to destroy us, Arianne! But CharlotteI
could not, could not, take her life. Despite what she had done, despite the lies that cut me to the
quick, I simply couldnt do it. She was running through corpses to save her own life the last I
saw of her and that night we packed what we needed, left the rest, and fled the country at once.
We did not return until the last century.
So it was here?
Looking at me at last he had an odd expression on his face for a moment as if he had
forgotten that he had lied before on that point and then he said simply, Of course. For minuets
that passed like hours, we sat in complete silence. I had so much I wanted to say to him but it all
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sounded so foolish in my head so I said nothing at all. Eventually he said in a tone just above a
whisper, I need to be alone tonight. I am not leaving, I will be no further than my own chamber,
and I will come to you as soon as Ive fed tomorrow evening. He wasnt asking my permission
but he was explaining his intentions and that was all I really wanted. After all, how could I
demand or desire that a man who was alive for the fall of Rome answer to me? I didnt want that,
not from him. His strength was part of what I loved so much. I only wanted a bit of respect.
When he softly kissed my lips I accepted it with a smile and then I watched him go, retreating to
be with his ghosts.
For weeks we did not speak again of vampire ways. Instead we went on as we always had
even though I had thought when he was gone that such a thing would be impossible. There were
changes of course. I shared his bed every night following the story of Charlotte and I felt I
understood him in a way I never had before. Our time together seemed real to me in a way that it
sometimes had not when the secret was between us. But the future seemed like something that
we would face when it came. We were living in the present only and I would have been content
to do so for the rest of my life. However, fate interceded with other plans.
I awoke with a start. I knew that it was daylight outside of our darkened bed, the darkened
chamber we now all but shared. And I knew that if I wasnt careful, I could seriously do harm to
Luke but I had to get out of the bed. My stomach was positively rolling and I almost didnt make
it to the lavatory before the diarrhea came. When the sun went down Luke found me on the floor
of the lavatory where I had spent the entire day and I was too weak to speak. I knew I needed to
tell him that there was a midwife outside of the villageI had been sick in this way once, the
winter before my father died. She was the only one who knew what to do. She saved me. But I
simply could not. The rash, the sickness, and the loss of rational thought I was already starting to
experienceit was all the same as before and only one person could help me but I couldnt give
her name. Soon the world was gone and I was back in my mind, back to childhood days I had
long forgotten and a dream I had over and over again when I was a little girla dream of a
manbut it couldnt be. I wouldnt have forgotten a thing like thatand besides, I hadnt met
Luke yetat least not in this life.
That was the way it went for weeks. Most of the time I was unaware of the world outside of
my mind. I would catch parts of conversationsLuke begging someone to save me.Mother
telling Luke that just a little of his blood wouldnt hurt and it would heal me, that I would never
have to knowand then I would retreat back into my memories of days long gone and the
dreams I now knew completely that I had once had of Luke though I had never laid eyes on him.
I felt as if there was something more, that I had known him in a different time, a different
placebut just when I would grasp the answer, it would leave me to the darkness of uneasy
sleep.
I awoke disoriented. I had no idea where I was but there was a bitter taste on my tongue and
candles were lit all around me. There was a cold hand in mine and I knew who it belonged to. If
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nothing else, I could be sure of that, though I wasnt sure if that was real or if it was another
dream. Still I squeezed it as I whispered through cracked lips, Lucania, my love?
He jumped at the sound of my voice. After a moment of stunned silence, he came into his
bed with me (of course it was hiswho elses?) and I knew he was weeping as he held me to
him. You were dying, Arianne. I could hear ityour heartit beat too slowly and your
breathing was too shallow. I sent for physicians. One even came from Paris but they had no
idea
Did you find the midwife then? I asked, glad that I lived but very confused by the fact that
I had.
For a long time he said nothing. Finally he whispered, I dont know any midwives.
So how did I? And then I knew. YesI remembered Mothers words about his blood,
about it being the only way Will I be a vampire now? I asked quietly. I had no idea what this
entailed, my ingestion of his stolen blood. I had forgotten to ask him if it only took the blood
No, of course not! He protested and I knew then the truth. That if his blood alone had not
healed me he would have watched me die instead of turning me as he once had Cherise. I tried
to get out of bed because this realization infuriated me but when I attempted to break away from
him, to move my body at all, my head spun and I realized how weak I really was despite the
magic blood. Luke saw all of this and gently, effortlessly, he moved me back against the pillows.
Are you angry that I gave you the blood? I didnt know what else to doMother assured me
No, I am grateful for the blood. It saved my life. I am angry that if it had not you would
have simply let me die instead of doing for me what you once did for Cherise. I whispered.
Instead of uttering any sort of denial, he simply pressed his lips to my limp hand and walked
out of the room. Moments later Mother and Cherise came in. Cherise, poor dear, was a mess. Her
blood tears, the ones she had never let me see before, were dark red on her pale cheeks. Blood,
dried and cracked, served as testament to the tears she had shed for me during my illness and
when she hugged me I did my best to hug her back. When I looked over at Mother, who was
sitting in the chair that Luke occupied when I first woke up, she was smiling a strange smile.
How are you, child?
I tried to smile back but I honestly couldnt tell if my efforts paid off. I am alive.
Patting my hand, she nodded. You gave Mother quite a scare. But all is well now. With
that she walked away and it was the first time I ever really suspected that she might have grown
to care for me, perhaps to even love me, since we had been together. For some reason this lifted
my spirits so that by the time Cook came in with a tray of soup that made my mouth water at
once, my smile came easy. I even accepted Lukes presence at my side. Cook, always the gentle
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giant, put the tray across my lap and then he hugged me as if I was a kitten and it was that that
had the tears coming for what I might have lost. I missed you. He said simply.
I missed you too, dear friend. I missed you all. I meant those words with a passion I didnt
realize I felt until that moment.
For an hour the four of us sat talking of all I had missed in my illness. The end of autumn
was fast approaching, the last of the beautiful things outside the windows of the castle had died,
but something had been born. Cherise and Cook had found each other at last. I imagined that if it
were possible for her to do so, she would have blushed as she whispered of their love. I drank the
soup, a broth really, that Cook had made me until I could eat no more and then I was given cup
after cup of delicious cold water as I listened to it all. But as happy as I was for them, I felt tired
and in that moment, despite being surrounded by those I loved the most, I suddenly felt
desperately alone. Luke must have heard my thoughts or sensed my mood because softly he
ushered them out, declaring that their patient was exhausted. I was grateful. I did not want them
to see the sadness in my eyes and mistake it for something it was not.
Even with the blood it will take some time to get well. You were so illso terribly ill. But
they have waited just as I have and I knew they would want
No, I am glad I saw them. It feels like it has been so longWell, I suppose it has, hasnt it?
A month? It truly is a miracle I lived even withyour help. I couldnt come right out and say it
yet I felt no guilt over taking it. It seemed so foolish. He took my hand cautiously and when I did
nothing to object, he gently guided my head toward his chest. Yes, I had missed this as well. The
comfort in his protective embrace was perhaps what I missed most of all. Do you suppose
Mother would mind helping me with a bath? I want one very much.
Looking down at me, he smiled. There is no need to call for Mother. Wait here while I
prepare your water. He was as good as a nurse maid as he came up and carried me to the
lavatory when he had everything prepared. In addition to the water, he had a crisp white gown
and a robe laid aside for me and he had all of the oils and soaps at the tub that I used. I was
prepared to wash myself but he insisted on cleaning my hair and the thoroughness with which he
washed it had me grinning. You find this amusing? My nature only gives my hair its sheen, my
love. The length was mine alone. I know a great deal about keeping it in good order. He
insisted. Two months before I would have felt passion as he washed my body but in that moment
I felt only tenderness. This increased as he dried me off and helped me dress until the affection,
the love for him lodged in my chest.
We were back in his bed and I was somewhat aware of the clean sheets and the new duvet
that replaced the old while I was in the bath. There was medicine waiting for me as well and it
made me sleepy almost instantly. As I lay against him I couldnt stop the tears as the odd
combination of extreme love and total loneliness warred within me. You were wrong
earlierwhen you said I would have let you die. The blood was our last resort. If it had not
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worked I would have turned you just before dawn. I wanted to be strong enough to let you go,
little one. I wanted to be able to say that I was detached as my kind is supposed to be with
humans, detached enough to let nature take its course. But I could have never followed through
with that. No, I had my intentions firm in my mind. I would have turned you.
Whether it was the illness and the very act of coming so close to death or whether it was the
blood of a vampire, I cannot say. Perhaps it was both. But I was not the same after that. I felt it
the night I awoke and I thought in time it would pass. If anything the feelings grew stronger in
the days, the weeks of recovery. I know now that what I had is a disease called Pellagra, that the
lack of sunlight I was getting because I had been living on vampire time, so to speak, and the
lack of meat in my diet from a shortage around the countryside probably triggered that second
occurrence of it as total starvation had once triggered the first. But even now the illness itself, the
cause for it all, seems irrelevant. What came from it is what matters. And what came from that
entire experience, my lost month and the recollection of dreams long forgotten, the dead blood
that helped me live, was that I awoke each night after with the knowledge that I would not know
peace until Luke did what he promised he had planned, until he took my mortal life from me and
replaced it with an eternity we could share until the end of time. Yes, I needed, craved, the blood
of the vampire forever flowing in my veins and I knew one way or another I would find a way to
persuade him even if I had to threaten my own suicide to make sure it was done.

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Chapter 7
I knew enough to know that I could not simply ask Luke for this thing at first. He spent all of
the time he could with me as I healed and I used this time to ask him things about his nature. I
learned, for instance, that to become a vampire one had to be drained of their blood nearly to the
point of death and then they had to drink from the vampire who drained them. Although he
would not tell me the entire story of how vampires came to be, he did say that the reason
vampires could not walk in the daylight was because the first one, Lucius, had deeply wronged
the sun god, Apollo. I dont think I believed this then. I had read the myths of the ancients of
course but I had never met someone who believed them as truth. I certainly didnt. In my village
there were but two sorts of religious people. There were the fervent Catholic believers and those
Catholics who did not believe at all but appeared to believe even more than the fanatics. My
father had taken us to Mass often enough but he was cursed with the practical mind of a scientist,
a scholar, even if he had the life of a farmer. He did not believe in religion. And I simply didnt
think of it. I went to hear the words of the Bible because everyone did, it was silently demanded,
and when I was in trouble I found the face of God looked like my mothers and that my prayers
were always directed at her.
Luke talked a little about his mortal life in Greece after I shared with him what I learned
from his own words but it seemed as if, to overcome any feelings of loss toward his mortal life,
he had completely distanced himself from that time and he had no desire to bring it up again. At
the time I could not understand this. I thought when (yes, I already looked at it in terms of
when and not if) I became a vampire I would still hold onto my years in the sun of my poor
French home, the smell of baking bread and crippling poverty that hung over my childhood
memories. Of course, I was a fool. I was looking at the situation with the mind of a mortal who
understands nothing about the things one denies in order to deal with the passage of time, in
order to survive eternity. But in no time I felt as if I was prepared to take it all into myself.
My body was well enough for me to walk around, first the room, then down to my own
chamber, and eventually as far as the library. The trip to the library came on a night when I heard
the most haunting melody coming from someplace below me. I followed it to find Luke at a
piano in a room I had never seen on the second floor weeping even as he played. Sitting down at
his side I asked him what he was playing and for the first time he did not comment on my health
as he would have if he had paid attention to how far I had walked. Instead he whispered only that
he wrote it while I was ill and he named it La Petite Beaut after me. Afterward, once he was
fully in my world again, I went to the library with him right on my heels in case I needed
assistance and we stayed there until dawn. But the image of him and that beautiful song stayed
with me long after the night had passed.
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My lust for the dark blood grew as my connection to the illness weakened and I had begun to
dream again those dreams I had in childhood as if they were memories recycled and played back.
For some reason they drove me mad, those dreams, along with all of the answers that never came
concerning them and perhaps that helped fuel my desire to be free of my mortality. Whatever the
case, as the Christmas month came to us once more, the first anniversary of my fathers death
and my arrival at the castle, I found myself burning with the desire to shed my life like an
unwanted skin.
In my mind I had already prepared the speech I planned to give Luke. In fact, I had thought
of little else in my precious moments alone. The night before the anniversary of Papas death I
felt I could wait no longer. My lover went to feed and I sat alone in the library waiting for him to
return hoping against hope that he would embrace the idea and if he wouldnt turn me that very
night, I could at least be a vampire before the New Year came. When he came in there was snow
in his hair, on his long dark eye lashes, and his skin was alive with the blood of his victim. He
looked beautiful and I couldnt help but smile. How are you tonight, my girl? He asked as he
kissed my cheek. Since I came out of my bad state, he began every night with this question and
while I appreciated his concern I had grown to hate that reminder of the month I lost.
I am fine. Sit, please. I have something I want to talk to you about. Its been on my mind for
a long time, since I woke up, and
He did not sit but suddenly something changed in his expression, his eyes grew dark, and I
cursed myself for forgetting to lock up my thoughts against his mind. No. Do not speak of it, do
not ask it, forget it altogether and we will act as if you never entertained such a thing. He
commanded. Then the condescending ass actually turned his back on me. This simple gesture
ignited the spark of fury inside of me.
Standing, I stepped in front of him and I crossed my arms over my bosom to make it clear
that I was prepared to stand my ground. No. No I will not forget it. I nearly died, Luke. Because
that is what humans dothey die. And once I was at peace with this thought but now that I know
what I know, now that I love you and I know I can have you for all time, how dare you ask me to
forget it? If I was the vampire and you were the human
I would have had the good sense to leave as soon as I learned what you were. Now, I am in
high spirits tonight. I saw a delightful scene outside the theater and the great Monsieur
Suddenly I screamed. On this night of all nights I did not want to hear any funny stories of
the dear friend that one year before was with me, holding my fathers hand before the worst of
the storm made it impossible for us to see him again, knowing that by the time he returned to our
shack his friend, the only great man I ever knew, would be dead. So I let out a piercing scream
that had Luke covering his ears, had the others running to see what the matter was, and when I
released that frustration I looked at him with cold eyes and spat out, What must I do, Lucania?
Grab the sheers from the garden shed, the knives from the kitchen, and stick them all inside of
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me one by one to make you understand that I will have this or I will end this life of mine?
Because I will! This world, the world I know, holds nothingNOTHINGfor me. It never has.
So if you do not turn me, I promise I will be dead by winters end.
I walked past him thinking I had made my point clearly. I meant every word of it too. Nearly
dying had taught me that my life could be extinguished at any time and if that was the way of it,
the way it would remain, I could not see a reason to keep on with the charade. I wasnt living. I
was only going through the motions until death came for me again and refused at last to let me
go A crash had me turning around and I jumped back as Luke threw the chair that was usually
his across the marble floor, shattering it as he had already done with mine. You damned idiot of
a girl, you know nothing! Do you hear me? The beautiful little tables were smashed and then he
went for the books. Oh, my heart broke as he ravished the library that was as much a part of my
happiness as he was. But I was truly terrified of him and even Mother, who had been there with
the others since my screaming, moved to shield me in case he turned his temper toward me.
You are a selfish bitch the same as the last one was! To tell me you will end the life we all
worked to save because I will not make you into a monster, a monster that murders without care
night after night? So end it! He was in front of me so quickly that I could only blink as he
shoved Mother aside and put a hand on either shoulder to hold me in place. End it, Arianne! If
that is what you want, I have no right to stop you! What you will not do is force me to end it for
you because you are too weak, too spineless, to go out into the world and live!
With that, he literally tossed me aside and he stormed out into the frozen night. I stayed on
the floor where I landed and I looked at the disaster he had made. He had done it on purpose of
course, destroying what I loved most because of what I had said, because of the demand I placed
on him. And as I watched some of the books burn in the fireplaces, as I realized some were torn
to shreds as if an animals had gotten ahold of them, my heart was broken. Mother, bless her, tried
to comfort me but on this night I was inconsolable. Why shouldnt everything be torn apart?
Perhaps it could be my new tradition for this date He did not mean this, little one. He didnt.
He is not prepared to give you the thing you believe you want and you frightened him with your
talk of death. It has not been so long since we all sat around you as you lay more in the realm of
the dead than in the world of the living, you know. Dont weep child
Standing suddenly, I did not bother to wipe my tears. I should have died, Mother. I should
have died the first time the illness came, I should have died in the snow outside this place, I
should have died last monthyet I am still here. For what? So I can pretend as if I did not taste
death on my tongue, so I can pretend to believe there is meaning in this temporary mortal
existence
The existence of a mortal is not temporary. For each ending there is a beginning and with
death comes rebirth. The soul is eternal. You do not need
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To be a vampire? How many life times do you think it will take before I find him again,
before I find you again? How many existences will I blunder through between now and then
assuming there is any truth to what you say? I have known him before, I am sure of it, yet he did
not know me when he saw me. And it will be the same the next time. This is completely
pointless. Like I said, I should have died. You do not give a person a drop of death and then take
it all away and call her a fool for wanting to drink her fill. I walked away without another word
and I made sure I moved one of the dressers, the only one I could push on my own, in front of
my door after I locked it. It wouldnt keep him out if he wanted in but it would annoy him and
that was something. Besides, I doubted I would see him at all in the nights to come.
I couldnt sleep that night but I made sure my drapes were pulled tight against the window so
Luke wouldnt know how restless he had made me if he did come home. Dawn was but an hour
away when I heard his heavy steed coming up the drive. My heart began to pound in my chest as
I prepared myself for a second round to our fight. Quickly I extinguished the candle and I pulled
my bed curtains tight, deciding that I would pretend to be asleep if he came inside. I doubted he
would, though. Part of me thought that, if anything, he was more likely to come in and
personally throw me out in the cold. But to my surprise he did attempt to get in the door. As I
suspected, it was nothing for him to get past the dresser but I heard him say softly, Do you see
this? How dare she try to keep me out! The damn
Stop it, Lucania. You did not see her face through your red hot rage, the pain you left her
with. To destroy the only things in this house that give her joy? How could you be so cruel? She
is still as weak as a kitten and you tossed her on the floor like garbage, the same woman you told
me you love? You were taught better than that. Besides, she does have a point.
This entire conversation was occurring right outside my bed and I kept my eyes closed and
my mind locked so they would continue to think I was sleeping if they threw the curtains back.
What? How dare you, Mother! How can you say that? You still regret
No, I dont and I never have. I could not imagine eternity without you, Lucania. You only
fear that I regret it. You always have. Still, that has nothing to do with this situation. She knows
what we are, she has drunk your blood, and she has nearly crossed deaths threshold twice in the
last year. Let us not forget the times beforeyou were going to do it once. Have you forgotten?
So it seems to me that when you realize all of this, you, my boy, have three choices where she is
concerned. You can turn her, you can kill her, or you can set her free. There is pain, loss, danger,
all of that in these choices. But you are the damned fool if you think that after all of this, all that
has passed in this place since she came, you can go on as if all is well and no changes will have
to come! She has changed already. Can you not see that?
Nothing more was said and soon they were gone. He did look at me for a moment and I felt
his cold hand stroke my cheek, heard him tell me in his native tongue to sleep with the angels
and awake with the sun, and when they were gone I had too much on my mind to sort through
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any of it just then. What would he do? It seemed the most obvious thing would be to send me
away. He knew I would not do what Charlotte once did. Already he knew that. So there was no
danger in that for him. But perhaps he would kill me instead just to be sure. No, he would never
do it himself but I thought that if he convinced Mother it was for the best he could probably
persuade her to do it for him. All I knew for sure as I drifted into uneasy sleep was that Mother
was absolutely right when she told him something had to change, that I had changed already. I
no longer recognized this woman or her thoughts though people continued to call her by my
name.
I awoke to the sunlight streaming through my windows much like my first morning there and
I was surprised that I hadnt missed it all those mornings that I spent in the darkness of Lukes
embrace. Walking down to the kitchen I found coffee warming on the stove and a note signed by
Cook telling me he ordered the beverage special for me and he thought I might like some. I
smiled as I sipped it, carrying the steaming cup down to the library. It hurt me anew to see the
shape that beautiful room was in. But I was hell bent on making it beautiful once more and,
perhaps as an act of pure rebellion, I took the chairs and the small tables from Lukes own study
to replace the ones he had senselessly destroyed. I even swept the fireplaces of all traces of the
books he had demolished and I was careful with those that were tattered from the storm they had
weathered. Each and every one of them was my friends and it hurt that even one was gone. But
by dusk the library was turned right once more and I went up to my room hoping to avoid Luke
until I wanted to see him. He had been tender when he came to me the night before, with his
touch, even the way that he listened to Mothers strange defense of me. But this was one tear in
our world that I wasnt sure we could ever fix.
I was sitting on the window seat reading one of the books he had brought from Scotland
before my illness when he came in. I expected he would start right off by discussing the fight as
that is usually the natural order of things. Instead he sat beside of me and said nothing for a long
time. When he stood again and spoke at last, his words shocked me more than I imagined I read
your diary once, you know. And I remember those things you said that you had never done. You
have had your first kiss, you have known love, and we can travel as often and to as many places
as you like if I go through with this. But there is one thing I would like to give you before
wedo this thing.
My entire body was alive with excitement. I never would have thought he would come this
close to agreeing so soon. Hell, it had been less than a day since he completely destroyed the
library over this same line of talk. Was it what I had overheard between him and Mother last
night that had changed his mind? Had she meant it when she said he had better do something? A
chill went down my spine but instead I looked up at him and replied only, Oh, and what is that
one thing you would like to give me?
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Your first ball. We can invite people from the village, your sisters, their husbands. We will
tell them that were to be married and we are leaving this place so you can also say goodbye.
That is a gift in itself and one that few of us ever had.
So youve decided that I am not a selfish bitch, a stupid fool, a damned idiot of a
He put his hand up and I couldnt help but smirk as he closed his eyes against his own words
of the night before. I am sorry, truly sorry for ever saying those things to you. But I am not
telling you I will do this as a certainty. I am simply trying to open my mind about it and attempt,
in this idea of yours, to find something good that might come from such a thing. I have yet to
find it but at least I am now trying. And should I find something that will not make me cringe
about it, something that will make me give you this terrible thing you believe you want, I want to
have a ball before I do it because once it is done we will have to go from here. You will never
see the people you love again.
That would not be a hardship, Luke, when there are no people that I love in that village.
People I share blood with, perhaps, but they are cold and unkind. They have always been that
way. The only warmth I have known aside from the love of my father was found in your cold
embrace, the sight of Cherises red tears, laying my head upon Cooks chest though no heart
beats within it.
But there are other villages, other people
And if you were me, would you leave those who love you, those you love in return, to seek
out those other people who might come to enjoy your company knowing they will never love
you like the souls you left behind? Knowing they would never understand you? I wish I had the
power to read minds right now as it is the only place I will ever hear you admit that you would
not! You were still conscious the night you were made but you were also dying. And who was it
you wanted? Why did you go with Mother? Because it was she, not your blood family, that had
loved you and it was she you trusted, she you wanted.
And if you were dying, perhaps that would somehow factor into this conversation.
I nearly havetwice just since youve known me! Damn it, you said you read my diary.
What more do you need to show you that when I came here I was as good as dead inside! And if
I grow old while you remain young, it will kill me. But if I leave you all it will surely end the
same.
He came to me, kneeling at my side, and he took my hand. With a smile he said, My girl,
you are youngso young. You said yourself that before you came here you had never known
love, not the kind of love between the two of us. You had never left the little place of your birth.
How do you know there isnt a man, a mortal man, one hundred miles from here that you would
love even more than me if you only met him?
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Moving off of the window seat, I sat before him, taking his face into my hands. Because I
dreamed of you all of my life before I met you. I have girlhood dreams with your face inside. I
existed before I met you, yes, but the first time I felt alive was when I woke up chained to your
wall and I watched the man that had stalked dreams almost forgotten as he walked into the room.
I belong here, Lucania, and no matter where I went in this world there would be no other man
because I belong with you. Youve told me things plainly and I know that even if you do agree
we may some night decide to part. I can accept that. I will accept that. But I know with just as
much certainty that one night we will find one another again because I know with all I am that it
was I who was meant to walk at your side. Can you deny it? You have far more wisdom than any
mortal possesses, I am sure. Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that this is all a young girls
foolish notions? When he said nothing, refusing to deny it but not willing to say I was right, I
kissed him gently and whispered against his lips, I am strong. I can handle eternity. I can handle
centuries without you if I must. I only ask that you give me forever. You fear too much, mon
sombre amour.
And you havent the sense to fear enough. I am not just your dark love, sweet girl, I am a
beast. Now, instead of fleeing as you should, you wish to join me. If I were a wolf in the woods,
would you run from me then? I am more cunning, more clever, and I am decked out nicely in my
sheeps clothing. Yet you would turn from him, wouldnt you? As if he had an idea, he jumped
to his feet suddenly and extended his hand to help me up. I watched silently as he walked over to
the corner where I had carelessly tossed my cloak earlier and I was still in wonder when he
brought it to me. You have never seen the wolf as he is. That is the problem. Perhaps the reason
why you cannot accept that I am a beast is because youve never seen me as a beast. Would you
like to come with me? Can you watch me kill? If you can and it doesnt change your mind,
perhaps I can say yes to it all. No other person has ever watched me feed and lived to tell of it,
Arianne. You may see it and decide that you must go. I will accept that. I know even now that it
is possible. But if you cannot watch me take a life how can I believe that you are ready to make
this choice and know that you are prepared for all of it?
I put up my hand to tell him that I needed a moment to think on it. I did indeed. I knew he
was right, that there was a possibility that I would watch him take a life and never see him in the
same light again. But I also knew that he was right about me needing this. How can you accept
what you stay blind to? If I was to decide to be a vampire I would do plenty of killing of my own
and if I were to love a vampire I needed to see him once and for all as he was, the complete
picture. So I slipped on my cloak and with a pounding heart I took his hand. Although the night
was cold it wasnt the temperature that had me shaking as I got on the back of his great steed. I
held on to him tightly as he rode thinking that this was the first time I had left the grounds since
the summer months had passed, since my illness, and that this may be the last time I would want
to hold him so tight. It felt not as if I were going to watch him take a life but more like I was
going to watch him duel. The man I love could die in my eyes by the end of the night so it was
for that that I felt the tears fall against his back, it was for that that I pressed my body as close to
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his as I could, and it was to prevent it that I prayed to the mother of a child once sacrificed for
the love of the world that I would still be able to love Lucania the same come daybreak.
When we stopped at a place a few miles from the house, I gasped. It was my sisters home,
the one who had married the cruel man like herself. I put my hand on Lukes arm as he
dismounted and I whispered, My own blood, Luke?
No, Ive come to do your sister a favor. By morning she will be a widow and at last the
young girls in town will be safe from the bastard she wed. Come on. You are going to lure him
out. When my eyes grew wide, he only pulled me down. Knock softly. She is away, your
sister, but that doesnt mean hes alone. Who knows what innocent child hes lured in tonight.
Ive had my sight set on him for some time but your dear sister stays away all night but once a
year. Last year my plans to kill him were destroyed by a frozen girl I found when I rode out.
With this he actually smiled. Whats worse is that I smiled back.
But where does she go? I asked, confused by all of this.
How the hell should I know? Now go, my dear, and if he calls out sound as young as you
can in your reply. Say something simple, something childish. Hell open the door quick enough.
Ill only be here. And he stayed in place at the side of the house as he pushed me forward.
I had always known my sisters husband was a despicable man but I almost couldnt believe
the things that Luke was saying. Still, I did know that a few children had gone missing in the
village shortly after he married her and settled in their home. But that proved nothing As I
knocked upon the door I listened for any sounds of a child within and I prayed that my big sister
had continued to swear off pregnancy in the past year, sickened by the thought of what he might
do to a child of his own. There was no answer so softly I knocked again and then I simply called
out, making my voice as childish as I could, Hello. Can someone help me? Im lost in the
woods
Sure as hell, he flung the door open as if he had been waiting for a moment like this. For a
moment I was actually frightened by the look on his face but then, before I could so much as
motion for him, Luke moved so fast I did not see him and he drug my brother in law from his
home by his throat. He was whispering obscenities, accusing him of things that made me sick,
and all he received in return was that ferocious smile. Without further ado, I watched unblinking
as he punctured the mans flesh. I heard the man make a sound as if he was trying to breathe and
I almost turned away but Luke grabbed my hand. I had never known anything like what I
experienced in that moment. Flashes of rapes, murders, bodies of women and children, even
some young boys, buried by my brother in law himself right under our feet flooded my senses
until I broke the link between me and my lover and I fell to the ground. When I looked over, the
man whose wedding I had stood in was looking at me with the stare of the dead and Luke was
using a pinch of his own blood to cover the wounds his teeth had created. I was more sickened
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by the dead mans actions than by Lukes act of murder. Did you see it? He asked me as he
helped me to my feet. Were you able to see what I saw?
Yes. I whispered. I was shaking harder now and I felt as if I would never be warm again.
But how do I know you did not plant those things inside my head to make me believe you?
What would it matter if I did? I didnt bring you along to be this mans judge as his
execution took place. I only wanted you to see what you will see each time you feed if I turn you.
I carry thousands of images like that with me. It is easier when the last thoughts are like his,
thoughts of their crimes. It is not so easy when they think of happy childhood days spent under
the sun, of innocence and peace. You will have them both from now until you end yourself or
until the world itself stops turning. You will do this a million times over. And I cant help but
wonder how when you cant even manage to look me in the eye.
He walked off then and for a moment I thought he would leave me. In that moment I was
trying to decide if I would mind it if he did. Because I decided I would, I began to walk
determined that when I reached him I would have the strength to look at him again. He gave me
no chance to as he all but pulled me onto the horse behind where he sat and began his hard ride
home. I love you still, Lucania. I whispered close to his ear so he could hear me above the
wind.
Then you are a damned fool. He replied harshly.
No more was said between us that night. In fact, once we returned he went straight to his
bedchambers making it clear that I was not to follow. I went to take a bath and wash the night
away as I wondered how I could love him after what I watched him do. Maybe it was me that
was a beast. He was built to take lives now and he had been for a very long time. But I was
human still and aside from my initial shock and fear, I felt nothing at what I saw. Would I have
felt differently if it had been a child, an old lady in her chair?
Of course you would have, little one. He would as well. We all would. That is why we do
not hunt little old women in their chairs, you see. Put your head back. You never get the soap
out. I put my head back so Mother could rinse my hair as I listened to her give me the first bit of
maternal wisdom I could remember receiving. You love my Luke and he loves you. Love can
make you blind but it is not because of love that you were not appalled tonight. You knew that
man and in your heart you had known all along that there was something terribly wrong with
him. You felt it. Having someone tell you the truth was the same as having him confirm your
fears. You are not a beast for not mourning that man. The children are safe, your sister is safe,
and perhaps those bodies will be found so the families might know at last what happened. This is
all good. And if the death of one brings good for many, even humans condone it. Look at war,
public executions, it happens all the time. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. What
you should be asking yourself is if you can be happy in this life. Is it really what you want? And
if it is not, my sweet girl, then you need to leave. You will only break his heart and yours if you
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stay without the change. I could not stand it for either of you. I will work on Luke but as I do,
you need to spend the time to see if it is what you truly want. This is not a game. It will not pass
in a month. This is forever.
Silently she walked out, going not the way she came but up to the floor that housed her
chambers. I wondered if she was going to talk to him now. I also pondered her words knowing
that at last I had heard something that was truth without the fear.
No more was said of immortality and Luke avoided me for three nights but on the third night
he woke me up with a kiss and a smile telling me he had just come from the village and all of the
plans was set for a ball on the last night of the year. The tailor is working on a gown right now
that will make you the envy of this place for years and years to come. I have done everything I
could to make sure that this one night be as perfect as possible. I personally invited your sisters
and although Adelaide is deep in fake mourning she couldnt hide the twinkle in her eyes at the
chance to come and see the eligible men for a night. Speaking of your sisters and their
matesdid you know that Agnes is engaged?
No. I whispered. I did not care. I cared nothing for any of them. The only thing I thought of
was what this meant. So youve decided to do it, then? Youve decided to turn me? I asked.
Kissing me once more he replied simply, I said I would give you your ball, did I not?
In the next couple of weeks our home was alive with activity. When Luke said he thought of
everything to make the ball spectacular, he had not overestimated things. People were there
constantly, decorating the place for the holidays, bringing in pianos, making beautiful garments
for us alleven Mother got in on the fun of it. In the year that I had been there, I had never seen
the place so alive. Cook wanted nothing to do with the ball itself but he wanted very much to
prepare the food for it. Seeing that he would be unhappy having it any other way, Luke allowed
this and I was then called upon to sample everything. I often joked that if he kept feeding me, I
would not be able to get into my gown by the time the ball came. I still had no idea what it was
to look like, my gown, as Luke had ordered the whole thing and the tailor who once stayed with
us to make my clothes, the same one who made Cherise and I a new wardrobe for the summer
months, was making it in his shop, wherever that was. Christmas night Monsieur Moreau came
bringing gifts and telling me that his players were doing small skits at the ball. He was impressed
by the place and he was thrilled with the way my fellow was taking care of me. I would miss
him, I knew, when I was changed. But of all those I knew, he seemed to be the only one who
made me feel that way.

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Chapter 8
Two nights before the event, Luke left to retrieve my gown. At least once each night up until
then I would ask him about his decision to turn me because I could not, in all honesty, believe
that it had taken so little persuasion. Each time I questioned him he would allude to the ball as if
it were the physical evidence of his intentions even though he never once actually told me those
were his intentions. Still, by the time he departed I saw no reason to believe that this wasnt
exactly what he had in mind and as I kissed him goodbye I felt like a bride just days before her
wedding.
I began to grow nervous when the last day of the year came and Luke had not yet returned.
Mother assured me he would make it but we had heard talk of storms hitting close to the village,
of the possibility that our guests might be unable to make it or that they might be snowed in with
us if it hit while we were making merry. I was very worried that he might have been caught in
one such storm. However, that morning was beautiful. The sun was high in the sky making the
little bit of snow already on the ground sparkle like tiny crystals from my spot by the window. I
sat there on the seat for hours that day writing in my diary and thinking of the past and the future.
New Years Eve was a good time for such thoughts, especially on this year when so much had
changed and I was on the edge of even more alterations.
The rest of the day I spent around the chateau as people came to put finishing touches on
everything. Cook had already prepared anything that could be stored and kept good for the event
over the course of the past two nights and he had a list still of things to work on after he awoke. I
knew my townsfolk would be delighted with the Mediterranean dishes he made, so exotic and
unlike anything they had experienced before. In addition to this he made many dishes the people
would recognize and there was an entire table the length of one wall full of deserts. After my
illness I got to see how fast a vampire could prepare food, the way he could actually use stoves in
both kitchens simultaneously and never burn a dish because of his ability to travel three floors in
the span of moments. He had certainly employed this skill of his for the occasion. I still wished
that he would actually join us for the fun but he was dead set against it. However, I thought he
might change his mind when the people arrived.
For this event the second floor, the one we never used, had been made beautiful and it was
going to be open to everyone. It was only after it was cleaned and all of the doors were unlocked
that I realized the architectural treasures that floor held as I had only been in one of its rooms
before, on the night I found Luke at the piano. The most stunning of all was the ornate ball room
that was at the very end of the hall. A breathtaking mural covered the walls, the floor was a
beautiful polished marble, the ceiling was covered in mirrors, and a large chandelier bigger than
any I had ever dreamed adorned the center. There would be music, there would be plays, there
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would be laughter, food, and drinkand it seemed to me the perfect ending for a persons mortal
life.
Hes still not back! I cried out as soon as Mother emerged for the night. I had been
pacing the floors since mid-afternoon even though I knew it was impossible that he would come
before the sun went down.
Laughing, Mother replied, Give him time, child. The sun has only been down a quarter of an
hour. We are going out to feed so we look somewhat human and when we return I will need the
assistance of my girls to get this old woman ready for the ball. With that she kissed me on the
cheek, something that surprised me completely, and I was left with my worry as people began to
come, those who had been hired to help serve and to play the music.
I waited for them to return hoping that when they did, Luke would be with them but they
came back a trio just as they went out. Cherise and I helped Mother with her new gown and
when Cherise insisted Mother allow us to paint her face, she agreed without too much of a fight.
The smell of food on the stoves in the first floor kitchen was wafting up to my bedchamber
where we had decided to dress and as I applied paint to Mothers lips I was near to tears. Up or
down?
What? I asked impatiently, irritated that Mother was breaking through my thoughts as I
held vigil at the window.
She only chuckled. My hair. Cherise wants to pin it up, I want it left down. So its to be
decided by you. Up or down?
Your hair is too beautiful to pin up. The townspeople should see you the way you are in all
of your glory. I replied softly, truthfully. My god, she looked gorgeous, I realized. Mother was
beautiful anyway but with the dark red satin on her body, so different from the type of dresses
she favored, and the paint upon her face she was absolutely glamorous. I felt love for her wash
over me along with pride that she was part of those I claimed as mine.
Coming over to me, she touched my cheek softly with her cold hand and she smiled. He will
come, Arianne. This night is too important for him to let even the worst storm keep him from it.
For some reason the certainty in her tone put my mind at ease and I was able to talk and
laugh as we helped Cherise with her new lavender gown and the chignon she wanted her hair in.
I was painting her face when Mother excused herself and when the chamber door opened I
looked over expecting to see her. My heart leapt when it was Luke who stood in the doorway.
My god, he looked positively breathtaking! Never one for the breeches and stockings of the day,
he had on pants that were not unlike the fashion that would come a century later. His starch
white ruffled shirt and the blood red frock coat with gold trim suited him. His hair was pulled
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back but even that did not detract from his beauty. And to think that he would soon be mine
forever
Cherise took her leave as if we had asked her to. I wanted to call out to her to come backI
needed assistance with my skirtsbut all I could do was stay silent in the moment of locked
glances and one thudding heart. I braved a blizzard to get your gown to you safely. I hope that
you are pleased with it. He said at last.
I put my hand to my heart when he took the lid off of the box and lifted the dress for my
inspection. It was truly the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The color was a deep blue and it
was trimmed on the sleeves and at the bottom in a white fur. It was absolutely exquisite! When I
said as much, he smiled. Good. I will have Cherise come back in and assist you but please, be
quick. The first of our guests have already arrived.
Who? Monsieur Moreau and the actors? I asked, though my mind was suddenly far away.
For a brief second I thought I saw deep pain in Lukes eyes and I couldnt imagine why.
They are here already, yes, but I was referring to your sisters. Amelia and Adelaide, along
with Amelias poor husband, are downstairs as we speak. In fact if you would like me to send
them up
No! I practically shouted. I was uneasy knowing they were so close, knowing I would
soon see them. I knew already there would be no joy in this reunion of ours and I did not want to
endure it a moment longer than I had to. No, just Cherise. I would like my true sister to help me
get ready for this night. I replied softly but with passion. He nodded as if somehow he
understood this. Perhaps he did. When he was about to walk out I was suddenly overcome with
emotion for him. I cant say why. But I found myself calling, Wait! and by the time he turned
to me, I was already rushing toward his embrace. I kissed him but it was the feel of his arms
around me that brought me the peace I suddenly needed. I missed you, Lucania.
I missed you as well. Now put on your pretty things and come down with your head held
high and a smile on your face. This night is yours, sweet girl, and I want you to worry over
nothing at the ball. With that he kissed my head and took his leave and I began to undress as I
waited for Cherise.
As she and I descended the stairs arm and arm my hands were shaking and my stomach was
in knots. While I got ready she told me how she had met my sisters, that she didnt like the look
of Agness intended one bit, that she couldnt believe Amelia had such a kind husband, and that
she could not believe I shared blood with the three cold women she met. Just the mention of their
names was enough to spoil my excitement and I wished I had told Luke not to invite them at all.
But then when she went into a fit about the amount of Lukes money that must have gone into
their gowns I was instantly confused. When pressed she explained that he had been financially
caring for Agnes since he learned of my sister last year and he had recently started to do the
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same with Adelaide after the unfortunate death of her vile husband. Now I felt confused, angry,
not at all as I hoped I would on this night. She explained that it was part of the illusion, that of
him being a rich distant relative, but I thought it was something more. I thought he felt guilt for
taking me from them and if that was the case he was a bigger fool than I had ever given him
credit for. Just before we reached the landing, though, I took a deep breath and I held my head up
but it was more like a fighting stance than a sign of pride.
Everyone turned to look at me. The room looked like it was full of my entire village and as
soon as I entered the parlor on the first floor all heads turned toward me. I saw mixed emotions
on their faces. Many hated me even more after seeing the place I lived in and the nice things
Luke had but some seemed almost proud of me. As if I represented them up in the big house, a
symbol of their hopes for the future and of the possibilities that lay in impossible dreams. I
spotted my sisters in a corner gossiping like girls while Amelias husband held their drinks but
my eyes were searching for someone else You are by far the most beautiful angel I have ever
seen, sweet girl. Luke declared as he took my hand and bowed as he kissed it. May I have the
honor of being your escort this evening?
I smiled despite the emotions that had been churning inside of me moments before. Of
course, kind sir. I replied with a curtsey and though I thought it impossible I soon found I was
smiling, giggling, and enjoying myself with the people around me. Luke stayed at my side, my
hand in his the whole time. And my god was I proud of the jealous looks I got over him! I
wanted everyone to see him that way, as the great man, the beautiful man who had so completely
saved me. Because for all of his faults that was who he was in my heart. Even the sneers of my
sisters could not dampen my mood. They looked at me as if I was the biggest traitor that ever
lived and when they set their sights on Luke it was lust and envy that I saw. Why me, they
wondered. I could tell it. They wanted to know how their stupid waif of a sister ended up with
the exotic rich stranger when I was, to them, the most unfit among us. Perhaps they were right.
Adelaides lips were fuller than my own, better suited for a pout; Amelia inherited our mothers
gorgeous blue eyes while I was saddled with a hazel color that was not so great; Agnes was the
one with flawless creamy skin and stunning auburn hair. Yes, physically they were all beautiful
still and would be for years to come. And it is possible that any one of them was far prettier than
me. But their beauty eroded their souls so I never envied them and as they stood there looking at
me as if I were a bug that should be squashed I could only smile as I thought of the last words I
had said to Agnes, about the two of us getting what we deserved from life.
Arianne, Monsieur Moreau has a favor to ask you. Luke said as he led me up to the second
floor. It seems that one of the girls in his troupe came down with a cough and he needs a female
lead. Its obviously a small production but he believes it may be fun for you and it will be over in
time for us to make the dances in the ballroom. He says you know the part well
Indeed I did. I learned the lines to this particular play before I turned seven and I spent hours
as a child pretending to be the lead actress on the stage. At first I was reluctant to take on such a
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thing but when my dear friend used guilt against me (I imagined my father smiling down with
pride at him for forcing my hand in this way) I could not resist. As the lead was that of a queen it
was decided I did not need to change and only my hair was done differently as it was pinned up
and a fake but heavy crown was put atop my head. Despite the fact that it was, indeed, a very
small thing I was quite nervous about doing it. When Luke went through the blasted house
announcing to everyone that a great production was about to start debuting the seasons new
rising star of the stagewellI murdered him twice with fire in my mind. But from the moment
I began the lines to this tragic story of Englands Virgin Queen from the makeshift throne I sat
upon, I was completely at home. There was only me and the story I was acting out. The rest of
the world was gone. And for forty-five moments I felt absolutely alive.
The sound of applause brought me back as I bowed. Everyone was cheering, smiling, calling
out, Bravo! and I could not contain my grin. Small as it was, that role felt like a dream come
true. I tried to push away the sudden sadness that came with the realization that until then, the
dream I once had was not actually as dead as I had believed. Of course it was too late now when
I would soon be a vampire with the stage beyond my reach. I told myself that it was fine, this
fact, and that immortality far outweighed the stage. But as Luke took my hand and sang my
praises down to the ballroom some part of me refused to be convinced no matter how hard I
tried.
As we entered the ballroom I saw that there was a full set of players and instruments ready to
provide the music of the night and my smile was beaming. There was even a harpsichord. I had
never heard the instrument played before though I had yearned to after I read about its sound in
books. Although it wasnt appropriate even for a couple engaged as everyone thought we were,
I kissed Luke on the cheek. You have made three of my dreams come true in the span of the last
two hours. I could never Tears filled my eyes but they were tears of joy. Wiping away the
few that fell he smiled his sweetest smile.
The love you have given me, the life you breathed into me, it was more than I have ever
given you. I could never repay you, Arianne. You have already paid me by showing me that
there truly is a point to all of this after all.
With that he led me onto the floor as the first notes of Bachs Suite No. 1 began. Over the
next few hours we danced to older tunes from Vivaldi and Handle and pieces of the time by
Scarlatti and Couperin. Somewhere along the line I lost myself in the music and the movements.
I forgot the people around us and I was in a world of my own where only the music existed
alongside Luke and me. I had never felt so free, so deliciously alive. I never knew just how much
I had been missing in my quaint country life. But on that night I felt as if I had it all. When we
took a break from the dancing so I might eat and we might mingle I was tingling with excitement
for it all. You have never looked so happy. Luke declared as he gave the illusion of tasting
something from the plate he had made me. He was so good at it that I almost believed him. I am
thrilled to see that gleam in your eye. It was worth it all.
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At one point I had to use the lavatory and because it was habit, I went up to my own on the
third floor. As I was coming out I found my sisters fianc in the hall. This was odd because that
floor had not been opened up to guests. Did you lose your way? Its easy to do in this place.
When I first came I used to carry breadcrumbs to find my way back to my bedchamber. I said
with a laugh. I was determined to be nice to him despite his cold eyes if for no other reason than
because at that moment I did not have the heart to be mean.
I believe I have promised myself to the wrong sister. He replied with a devilish grin. I was
not amused.
Pardon?
You arestunning, Arianne. Luke? Is that his name? He is quite the lucky man to have
happened upon the most beautiful cousin he had in such a way. But tell me He then
whispered a question in my ear that was so vulgar I slapped him across the face for it. Not to be
deterred, he tried to crush his lips to mine and for a moment I was afraid. Suddenly he was gone
and when I opened my eyes I saw Luke with my sisters fianc in the air by his throat.
Dont kill him, Lucania. Remember your strength. I said simply and as if that was all it
took to break his madness, he dropped him at once. How did you know? I asked as he hugged
me to him. His opponent had scurried off as soon as he was set free.
I will always know when you are in trouble, my love. I will always hear your call. Never
forget that. Holding me away from him for a moment, he smiled. Are you ready to return to
your adoring public? And just like that the incident was forgotten and we were back inside the
spell of the night.
It was four in the morning before everyone had gone. I had seen the last of the guests out but
Luke had disappeared somewhere. Just as I shut the door, ready to go to sleep in his arms after
the excitement of the night, he was behind me and the pained look I thought I saw much earlier
was now obvious in his eyes. Are you happy? He asked suddenly.
I laughed, wondering where this was going. Of course. Like I said before, you made all my
dreams come true tonight.
And will you promise to never doubt my love?
Suddenly I thought I knew where he was going with this and my breath hitched in my chest.
Never, Lucania. How could I?
Say it. Say that you swear it. He demanded softly.
I swear never to doubt your love but
Please, follow me.
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I followed him as he asked up to the turret, a part of the estate that I had never bothered to
explore before. The floor where my companions slept led up to it and as I walked those cold
stone steps I felt as if I were being followed by ghosts of ages long passed. I shivered when I
reached the top only to gasp at the beauty around me. Candles were lit all over the circular space
and windows on all sides provided a beautiful view of the grounds. The moonlight was streaming
in and as I looked at the worry on Lukes face, my heart began to thud. The ball, his last gift to
my mortal self, was over and it had been quite a success so I thought as I looked around and back
at him once more that he was about to give me the biggest gift I could ever ask of him. When I
moved closer to him he backed away from me nearly falling over a chair in the process. This
wasnt like him. The man had reflexes and instincts that any wild predator would surely envy.
Finally he looked at me with deep anguish swimming in his beautiful dark eyes and I knew
somehow that the dark gift would not be mine that night.
Arianne, I have lived a very long time. I have met many women and when I was younger
and more carefree I loved often. But time and its effects, watching the mortal women I loved
succumb to time as nature intended, and the trickery of one woman in particular all made me
cold. I shut it out, this love I once gave away. I made myself the outsider that the human world, if
they knew about me, would expect me to be. I never thought that I would feel for anyone what I
feel for you now. I have never looked at any female, mortal or otherwise, the way that I look at
you. A secret of immortality that one must learn alone is that while your ability to feel pain
physically dies with the tainted blood, your ability to feel emotions intensifies in a way no mortal
could ever understand. Whenever you think that I do not love you as you love me, rest assured
that my love for you and the ache I will feel at dawn is more powerful than anything youve ever
felt in your life, anything you will ever feel.
What the hell are you talking about? What of this pain at dawn? I nearly cried out even as
my blood ran cold in my veins. I knew, god help me. I knew he was about to send me away and
before he could get out the words my tears were flowing.
My sweet beautiful girl, I cannot do what you ask of me. Not when you know nothing of
the world but simple village people who could never understand you and vampires who are
separated from you in ways you do not comprehend. To do this thing is bad enough, to do it
while someone you love is dying can be attributed to desperation, but to take a perfectly healthy
girl and turn her knowing she isnt really sure its what she wants? Well, it is a crime far worse
than rape or murder. And I am not the sort of monster who can commit such a crime. Mother is
downstairs right now packing your things. You will find money, a great deal of it, in your cases
and a map that will lead you to Paris. There you will see things, you will meet people who can
speak to you in three languages, you will go to parties and kiss handsome men. You will live,
Arianne. And that is what you must do because it is what you were born to do, damn it! There is
culture in Paris, people who can understand you at last, people who will make you see that your
place isnt with the dead.
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I was silent as he spoke. Even my flood of tears made no sound. I had slid to the floor when I
realized that this was reality and when he came to me I put up my hands to keep him away. How
could I let him hold me, kiss me, whisper tender words into my ear as he cast me out into the
cold like an unwelcomed guest? So he sat across from me leaving some space between us and
when I looked up I saw the red tears he was so ashamed of streaming in a thick mess down his
own face. Good, I thought. He should weep a million tears for what he was doing to me. I would
not plead with him to change his mind. I had decided that as soon as he started to speak. I would
not beg him to let me stay. The tears I could not help but the rest? I was too damned strong for it
and as far as I could see, he did not deserve the satisfaction of witnessing such pain.
I know you hate me right now. I expected you to and I do not blame you for that. Even
Mother refuses to speak to me for what Ive done and Cherise and Cook have locked themselves
inside her chambers refusing to open the door to me. If it means knowing that you are living,
knowing that you are somewhere smiling and dancing and drinking wine as you watch the sun
set, I will take all of the hatred that is being directed at me. I will also accept my own ache, my
own grief, at watching you go and living my nights without you. I would take on the pain of the
world if it meant that you could live out your days happy, sweet love. The only thing I cannot
take is having you go away believing I am doing this because I do not love you. I need you to
knowperhaps not tonight but in timethat I am doing this because I love you more than the
waking world. If it was possible and I could do it I would keep you in my arms for all time. I
would, Arianne! But that isnt the way our story is supposed to go.
Suddenly my anger overcame all else and I jumped up, a mess of pain and fury. You bastard!
Shut the hell up! JustSHUTUP! All of this talk is not for me. It isnt to ease my pain as I
weep alone at night and yearn for your touch! Its all for your conscience alone that I am here
right now listening to this shit you are trying so hard to feed me! You are right, Lucania, I do
hate you tonight. I imagine I will hate you for a while. But I will love you as well and I will think
of you often and your goddamned ghost will haunt me every place I go in Paris. I will look at
those handsome men and I will compare them with you and find something lacking. You have
already ruined me. This is only the completion of what you started when you didnt toss me out
last year! You kept me here because you wanted me and then because you loved me and in doing
so you made me love you back and nowNOWwhen you might do something to make our
love possible you find that you have too much of a soul for it. Where the hell was your soul
when you chained me to your wall, when you shouted cruel things at me, and where was it when
you held me knowing I could never really have you because your mind was already made up?
Where the hell was your conscience then?
It is ghosts that haunt you, ghosts that keep you from me, your great misery of four hundred
years ago with a woman who never loved you at all. And you call me the fool? You are not
giving me a chance at life by what you are doing. You are destroying me and you know it, you
son of a bitch! And yes, I hate you for it with everything I am! With the rage flowing through
me, I slapped him harder than I could ever recall slapping another right across his beautiful face.
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And I wanted to do worse, so much worse. I wanted to cause him deep pain that I could see and
enjoy, something much better than his useless blood tears. When he took my wrists in his hands
and pulled me to him I couldnt resist his strength but I could punch him with both fists on any
spot of his body that they happened to land. So that is what I did as he tried to hold me. I fought
against him and I hoped to all above that he knew for a moment what I felt each time he fought
against me.
I love you, my girl. Think what you want tonight but I do love you. And I will miss you
every night of my life. If the years pass and they are not kind to you, you may come back to me.
I dont care how old you are when you come. At one hundred you would still be as beautiful as
you are tonight and I would love you just as much. I will stay here long enough to see if you
return. Do not do it in a month or a year. Go out there and really try. But if you love me still as
the years pass and things happen as you believe they will, all you have to do is come home. I will
be here waiting to see which way your path takes you. I have nothing but time. Take what you
need. Just promise me youll try.
It was this that made me stop my assault on him and it was this that made me lay my body
against him like a child as he wrapped me in his arms. I promise. I whispered and then no
more words were spoken between us. We simply sat there together tangled up in one another as
we each sobbed for what was coming. I still hated him for doing it; I still believed that I was
right, but I knew that he was doing it for me and me alone. And though I hated him for it, I could
not blame him. All I could do was let him hold me just a little too tight as I held on to him and
prepared for what was about to happen. I felt so frightened, so alone. I knew that I would be
back. But for him I would keep my promise and before I returned I would live as much as I
could. Not for me, not for those things I had never done, but for a man who had done it all and
who loved me enough to want the same for me. He wanted me to dance in the sunshine before he
cast me forever into the night. How could I blame him for that?
When Mother came in to take me down Luke looked at me for a moment with true fear in his
eyes. It was only there a moment before he pushed it away but it was enough. Then he kissed me
and if it is possible to pour a lifetime of love and sorrow into one kiss, I swear he accomplished it
in that moment. This was his goodbye and I accepted it as if it were an elixir that would get me
through the years ahead. When he broke the spell, I touched his cheek gently before I stood and
followed the woman who had, in her way, loved me as a mother truly would have as she led me
away from the man I would miss until I saw him again. As I promised myself, I did not beg or
plead. I shed but a few tears as Cherise hugged me to her and Cook promised to continue
working on his skill so that when I returned he could make me a feast. I was almost numb to
everything as I helped Mother grab my trunks and I listened patiently as she told me where she
had put the money and the map. It was only when I got to the front door and I went to hug this
woman who had always been so strong and I saw the red tears of her kind standing in her eyes
that I broke. God, how I loved her and leaving her and the others was almost as hard as leaving
the man who had my heart. I might have begged then if she hadnt all but pushed me out the door
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with her tears still flowing and into the cold night I went on a horse I had once shared with Luke
thinking not of the future ahead of me but of all that I was leaving behind in that house of the
dead.

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Part 2-Life
Chapter 1
I arrived in Paris quite broken. The city, once a place of my dreams, now symbolized my
exile and I couldnt help but hate it for that. A spot on a separate map of Paris alone had a place
circled. I suppose it was a message to me that this is where I should go. I almost resisted, feeling
rebellious against doing anything else Luke had planned for me. But he knew the city quite well
and if he was telling me to go there I assumed there was a purpose for it. The city was full of life
and excitement even though it was nearly ten in the evening. As I navigated my steed through the
streets I was stunned at the people. They were everywhere! Despite the cold of the night, the
snow that started to fall just before I reached Paris proper, people were walking the streets, riding
in their cabs and personal carts, shouting at one another across busy streets. I nearly smiled but
even this wasnt enough to lift my soul that high.
When I got into the area circled on the map I literally dismounted at the first tavern I came
to. A sign outside the door declared there were rooms for rent by the night, the week, or the
month and I figured this would be a cheaper option to renting an apartment until I could think of
something to do for money. The place, Madame La Rues it was called, invited me in as soon as
I stepped through the door. I went up to the long bar of scarred wood where men were chatting
amongst themselves over drinks and an older woman who looked as if she did not belong there
smiled at me. You look lost, child.
I am. I replied softly, without thinking. She nodded as if she understood that I did not mean
this in a physical sense and I remembered myself. The sign outside said you have rooms for
rent. I would like to rent one three months in advance.
Yelling to someone at her side, she excused herself from the work at the bar and she took my
arm as she led me past the only quiet spot in the place where a piano sat alone in the corner.
Seeing my eyes fall on it, she smiled. Do you play?
I had lessons when I was a child but my teacher knew only the basics. I replied. It was not
me that I imagined there. A haunting melody, a dark room, Luke all alone weeping
Ah, well, this city is full of teachers. No matter what it is you want to learn, there is
someone here who can teach you. Is that what youve come to do? Study? Or perhaps you are a
teacher as well?
We had come to the top of a heavy wooden staircase and I could see that this floor was
nothing but rooms. They wrapped around the whole of the tavern so I followed as she led and I
replied, No, I am not a teacher. I am not a student either. I just I was cast out by the man I
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love, I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue. No. If I was going to make my way here I could not
speak of him even though his face haunted my mind. I just needed to see something new.
Well, there is no place in Europe better than this to do that but you must be careful, child.
Paris is beautiful and there are great people here but there is danger as well, unimaginable danger
lurking these dark streets. I have three girls who live here. They are not accepted in proper
company if you know what I mean but they do stick together and I am sure, if the reputation did
not scare you off, that they would look after you until you find your way. I knew she meant
prostitutes but that did not bother me. I had once dreamed of the stage, had I not? Actresses at
that time were looked at in the same light so who the hell was I to judge? Opening a door, she
used the candle she had lit on our way up to illuminate the large space. It was only one room but
there was a changing screen and a chamber pot. For the time, it was the same as a three star
hotel.
How much is it for the three months? I asked, my mind already made up. I found
comfort in Madame La Rue and at that moment I would have stayed in a cell to have that.
She told me the price as she lit a fire in the large fireplace and it was so cheap, I thought she
was giving me the monthly rate. So I counted it out three times and when I handed it to her she
laughed and gave most of it back. There is a washroom there at the end of the hall. Water is
available but you will have to heat it on your own. The tub is old tinwell, I am sure you
knowdespite your finery you have the spirit of one who knows what it is like to sit in an old tin
tub. She smiled and I smiled as well. For a moment I knew that she had once been quite like
me. And I was proud of that. Tomorrow I will introduce you to the girls but for tonight you
should rest. You look as if you rode through a war to get here. I will have supper sent up for you.
Dont get used to that. I only show such kindness when I know its needed. With that she patted
my cheek and went back to her loud tavern below.
I did take a bath and I put on my warmest gown before going back to my room. After I ate I
did not rest but instead I used the writing things Mother was kind enough to put in a special
compartment. I wrote her thanking her for being good to me, telling her I loved her, but I knew
she would not reply. I wrote Cook as well knowing much the same thing. However, when I put
the quill to paper for Cherise I had no doubt that in her I would have my link to the world I left
behind. I told her about the place I had found, about the kind Madame La Rue. I wanted her to
know that I was ok, that I would be alright, but it was not easy to keep the sorrow from my
words, to hide the loneliness I felt in that room.
In the days that followed I got to know Madame La Rue and her girls quite well. I adored
them all. Brigitte was the oldest of the three who walked the streets at night. At twenty-five she
was truly beautiful and despite her job and the way she was treated by the world outside, she
walked with an air of confidence that was inspiring. Eventually I learned that she was the
youngest daughter of a Marquis and she had run away from her home to avoid an arranged
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marriage with a man she called the most odious bastard on earth. She declared that she would
be a whore the rest of her life because it was only in that profession that a woman had any
freedom. Elise and Isabelle were sisters who were born poor, very poor in fact, and who had
taken matters into their own hands in relation to their destiny when their parents succumbed to an
illness three years earlier. Elise, who was my age, took care of Isabelle, who was only thirteen
when they arrived in Paris, by selling her body. Isabelle eventually began to do the same. But all
three had one thing in common. They would not be bought for pennies. Their clients were some
of the richest men in the city which explained their beautiful clothes and their high spirited
laughter.
If it suited you, you could join us. We know men that would pay great sums for your sort of
beauty. Brigitte assured me one night after the four of us had had one too many of Madames
famous strong drinks.
No. Perhaps I will have Madame teach me to be a seamstress. She said she had done that
for years and if you find the right people you can make a decent wage. Thats how she bought
this place
The women all looked over at Madame who was cleaning glasses behind the bar and they
laughed. Oh, thats true enough. She sewed the most beautiful gowns for the great ladies of
Parisand then at night she fucked their husbands for sums of money even I cant fetch.
Madame, I am surprised at you! Telling half-truths to this poor girl and trying to make a damned
seamstress of her! Then Brigitte looked at me and said firmly, You did not come all the way to
Paris to be a seamstress. What is your dream, the one that brought you here? Come now. We all
have one. What is it?
Taking another sip of the concoction Madame was known for, I sighed. Once I wanted to be
an actress but thats not why I came here. I
She refused to let me finish. There is no better place in all of Europe for that dream,
Arianne. The best stages, the best teachers, the best actorswe have them all. I can introduce
you to a man who
No. Thats all passed. I dont want it anymore. I came here to get away from my village so
I have already accomplished what I wanted. I would be content enough as a seamstress.
With a sigh, Brigitte drained her glass in one gulp and smiled. Very well. Madame, teach
the girl to sew beautiful things and then, when shes not looking, push her on the stage.
Madame laughed but I saw a twinkle in her eye that made me wonder if that wasnt exactly what
she had in mind.
In the days that followed I started working the bar for Madame and in return for my services
there she taught me how to sew. I knew the mechanics of it, of course. I had made clothes for my
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family since I was old enough to thread a needle. But the simple things I made for us were
nothing compared with the ornate stitching and the eye for detail that was required to be a
seamstress for the ladies of Paris. Madame knew all too well the things she had to teach me.
After the girls came back from work each night and the tavern was closed, Madame taught me
fancy stitching over her potent drinks and amusing conversation. Brigitte, always lively, would
tell us the tales of her night as she made jokes about how I could make far more money getting
out of my gown than I ever would by putting fancy women into theirs. But I ignored this. I was
determined already that this would be my path.
A few weeks after this routine of sorts began I received a letter from Cherise. Madame
brought it to me and I knew she wanted to know all about the sender, about my life before I came
to her place, which was why she sat down at my side and watched as I read. Mother was not
speaking to Luke, Cherise said. Not one word had passed directly from her lips since she went up
to him after I left and told him he was a damned fool who made the wrong choice. Cherise
expressed confusion concerning the choice but I knew what Mother meant. Cherise and Cook
was on speaking terms with her Master but she claimed that the three of them were quite
downcast without me and that Luke was not himself at all. I read all of this with mixed emotions.
I wanted him to mourn me, to grieve because I was miles away, but I never wanted him to suffer.
Simply reading his name was enough to bring tears to my eyes. It wasnt until I saw that there
was no letter from him that I realized I had actually hoped he would write. But there was
something wrapped upunfolding it I found a large sum of money and a simple message in his
careful script. You are not in Paris to live in taverns. Get an apartment at once.
Madame, can I have a moment? I asked. It was just past the midday rush and the place was
dead around us. She gave her nod and I walked into the kitchen. I would not cry, I decided. And
with that I let out a scream that probably frightened people from three blocks away.
Who is he? Madame asked, handing me one of her French cigarettes. Women did not
smoke in that time. It was as unbecoming as walking down the street naked. Madame did not
give a damn. She smoked them constantly and the sort she preferred was usually reserved for the
rich. This was perhaps another fuck you to the society around us and it added to her mystery.
Thank you but I dont smoke. I replied.
That is apparent by the set of lungs you clearly have but if you ever scream like that in my
establishment again I may have to take a wooden spoon to you for scaring away the customers so
lets make an exception in this case. I couldnt help but smile as she grinned at me and when
she lit one of her expensive pre-rolled (in the shop down the corner of coursewe had no
factories in those days) cigarettes, I accepted it. I coughed, nearly threw up, and in the end I
decided I rather liked the light headed feeling that came over me. So who is he, this man? He
must care a great deal to send such money to improve your living situation. And he is right. No
one comes to Paris to live in a tavern.
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I thought she was insulted so I tried to assure her I loved the place. I truly did. But she only
held up a hand to stop me. A man came in for a pint, a noblemans son who came each day at the
same time so he could have his liquor as soon as he woke up. When Madame had him set up she
turned her attention back to me. It is no insult. I know you like it here. You need not explain.
Did he break your heart, this man?
Yes. I whispered softly.
And if you take this money to get an apartment will he keep sending the money for the
upkeep of the place?
I had no idea where she was going with this question but I answered her honestly. I have no
doubt that he would.
She nodded, said she would be back momentarily, and she went upstairs. When she returned
Isabelle was trailing behind looking none too thrilled at being woken up. Come, child. We are
going to find you a nice place
But Madame, I dont want to go! I protested. I meant it. I had found a home there and I
didnt want to leave it.
Putting an arm around me as she led me outside, she only laughed. Listen to you! You
wont be far and you will come to see me every day. You must. I am teaching you to be a great
seamstress, remember? But if he broke your heart than he is going to pay for it, damn it. Let him
buy you a proper place; let him take care of you. Let him think of you in that beautiful place
entertaining the most handsome men in Paris. That will teach him that he should not have hurt
one of Madames bbs.
I was in a fog as we walked and the fog thickened when she took me in to see a man that
apparently sold apartments in the area. She listed my requirements as if I had told her what I was
looking for myself. One bedchamber would not do, I heard her tell the man. Who knows? I may
decide to take up the piano and that would lead to collecting them and you can simply never have
enough room for your pianos. Three bedchambers? Now, that would be fine. A real lavatory was
a musta sitting room and a drawing room was essentialon and on she went. Really there was
no point in me being there at all. He showed us three possibilities, all of them within two blocks
of Madames tavern, and in the end it was she who chose the place where I would live. Such a
place as that apartment I would have never hoped to own. It was absolutely decadent. But I
would still have money left for furniture even after I paid two months on the place. She would
return the money I had given her to stay three months as well despite my protest and Stop! I
shouted suddenly. We were walking back to the tavern as she told me all of this and it was just
too much! Madame, juststop. What am I going to do with this place? I will be there all alone
day and night, thinking and wishingI am going to be lonely there. Is it really worth it to make
him pay?
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Yes! Yes it is. Besides, you dont have to be alone. As it turns out, I have three darling
girls who have had the money to leave the tavern for some time but they have refused as you
tried to refuse. It would make my heart glad if the four of you were together. But its up to
you
Ah, of course. Brigitte, Isabelle, and Elise had the money to go as Madame said. With friends
like theirs, it would be impossible to think otherwise. But the four of us had one thing in
common. We were orphans looking for a mothers love and though I had not been with her
nearly as long as they had, I was already reluctant to leave the motherly affection I had found in
Madames smile. What if they wont come? I asked softly.
I would never push any of my chickadees out of the nest if they were not ready. They are
ready and so are you. As I said before, I wont be far. This is not a goodbye, child. Not at all. It is
my gift to the four of you. Go make your damned lives already. None of you are weak and none
of you need my protection. But you still need my love and I need yours as well. I knew as soon
as you walked in my door that you would join the group of daughters sent to me from all over
this strange country. What my body could not have, fate provided. So I expect you all to
remember me, to come to see me, but I also expect you all to use the strength you have to reach
the stars. Understood?
Because it was, I simply nodded. Then I asked something I had been wondering since we
met. What is your name?
She laughed heartily as if I had just told her the funniest joke. I thought she wasnt going to
answer and then she said in a tone that was barely above a whisper, Francine. Shaking a finger
in my direction she added, But I will not tolerate being called by my Christian name. I received
it from my mama, a woman I despise intensely. I hate the woman and her name so Madame is
who I am. That and nothing else. I smiled feeling as if I was somehow connected to this
complex woman in a way I would never understand.
Brigitte, Isabelle, and Elise were all reluctant to join me in the new luxurious apartment
Madame had chosen for us. But Madame was every bit as persistent with them as she had been
with me and in the end all it took was seeing the place. They were all in love at once. They
declared it a perfect place to entertain and as we shopped for furniture they talked of the parties
we could host, the people we could bring in, the respect the place itself would garner for us.
They decorated the place for the most part but I liked the things they picked. Did they go a bit
overboard? Perhaps. But they felt they had a point to prove to everyone around us. So if there
was a bit more velvet and lace than I would have liked, too much gold and marble, that was
alright. We would be happy there and again I would have with strangers what I never had with
my blood sisters. I would have a family.
I wrote Cherise and told her all about the apartment knowing Luke would read every word. I
told her I had friends but I made it clear that they in no way came close to the bond I had with
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her. It wasnt a lie. I expressed my desire for her to come sometime to see it all, to bring Cook
and Mother. I said nothing of Luke. What would have been the point? He never would have
joined them and I suppose a part of me knew that they would never come anyway. I spent my
nights at the tavern serving drinks and laughing at the fools who could not handle Madames
special recipe. And I learned the tricks of fancy sewing so well that I made my first gown with
the aid of Madames careful guidance just a few weeks after we moved into the apartment. She
had the thing sold by the next afternoon for a sum that she and I flaunted in front of my friends
who still mocked my choice of profession. It wasnt quite home. I did not feel the same joy I felt
in the castle with Luke and the others. But I was making a life on my own and damn it, it felt
good.
After mentioning my birthday in passing, plans were set in motion by my friends. They
wanted to take me to the theater. They even had the perfect theater for me, one that showed a
mixture of tragedies and comedies and something called burlesque. They explained that
burlesque was mock theater, that it was set up to poke fun at the rich and their entertainment that
they deemed too good for the rest of us. And it was this sort of show they wanted me to see. The
three got together and bought me a beautiful risqu gown with a bodice lower than any I had ever
worn in my life, they painted my face, they did my hair, and by the end of it I wasnt sure if I
looked beautiful or if I looked like I was going out on the town to get a rich man of my own. But
they worked so hard that I changed nothing and I let them lead me out as they talked in an
excited rush about what I was going to see.
Madame La Rue was waiting for us outside when we arrived and I was so surprised to see
her that I couldnt help but throw my arms around her as we stepped inside. Yes, yes I left my
precious place in terrible hands to attend this joyous event. Arent I grand? Now walk before we
miss this terrible show. She declared.
As we took our seats an older man came over, a man about Madames age, and to my shock
he leaned down and kissed her on her cheek. Good evening, Madame La Rue. He said with a
wink.
Good evening, Monsieur La Rue. I hope the show isnt too wretched tonight.
I heard you were coming so I told the troupe to put on the worst one we have. He replied
and with that he walked away pausing momentarily to add, See me after the show and bring
your ladies with you.
La Rue? Is he your brother in law? I asked. She was married at some point. I knew that of
course by the way she was addressed. Yet I had never heard a single word about her husband or
what had become of him.
No, child. That is my husband. Now hush up. The show is starting.
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I had so many questions at that moment. Her husband? That man? Why did she live alone at
the tavern if she was still married and her husband was still alive? But just as she said, the show
was starting. All at once the candles around us were being put out and the candles of the stage
were left alone to light the place. My heart began to pound. Yes, this was the place I belonged on
this day sitting in the fourth row of this tiny theater waiting for a mock show to come on before
me. Actually, a small voice whispered in my head, that stage was where I belonged. Not in the
chairs of the audience. But I shook the notion away. No, that was not for me. Not anymore.
At the end of it I had laughed so hard that the paint on my eyes was smudged with my tears.
Was it a work of art? Not quite. But it was brilliant in its simplicity, that show. And as far as
mockery went, I imagined the upper class would be furious if they happened to see the way that
everyone from the royal family to the marquises that populated Paris and the surrounding areas
was laughed at. When the curtain came down and the stagehands were lighting the theater
candles once more, Madame led us toward the right side of the stage as everyone else walked
past us toward the exit. I was quite unsure of this entire meeting. If they were estranged surely
this would not be a pleasant situation. But if they hated one another why had they behaved in
such a way earlier?
Francine, Francine, my beloved Francine! The man chanted as we came up to him. He
took her in his arms and while she did not completely embrace him, she did give him a kiss on
his cheek. Have you missed me, dear wife?
Not one bit. It is Ariannes birthday and she does not know the city well enough to turn
down an offer to see one of your shows. She said with a smile that was full of flirtatious humor.
You wound me, my girl. Truly. Always to the core. He said dramatically as he clutched his
heart as if shed stabbed it. And you must be Arianne as I know the trio of trouble makers
there. Happy birthday. I thanked the man and prepared to walk away as I assumed we were
about to do. But instead he took a turn in the conversation that was every bit as surprising as the
revelation concerning his relationship with Madame. You are truly beautiful. Besides seeing my
beloved, the reason I asked you all back is because I want to offer you a place in my troupe. I
have a teacher who, if you have even a bit of talent, can make you a star. She was on some of the
grandest stages in Europe many years ago and she has a magic touch with girls like you. Girls
who have the face for the stage. Do you have any talent?
Before I could say anything, Brigitte chimed in with, The stage is her dream, Pierre. My
god, did you see her face when the curtain came up? No one gets so excited to be here.
Pinching her cheek playfully, he laughed. Ah, Francine taught you well. Anyway, I am glad
to hear this. I will help you make your dream come true. I swear it. You will start here of course
and the pay will be terrible but one dayone day you will stand on the stage at Comdie
Franaise. So, what do you think?
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Like everything that had happened since I came to the city, this was happening too fast. All I
could think of was Brigittes comment the night we sat around talking of dreams, about Madame
pushing me on the stage. She had done just that and I couldnt tell if I was grateful or infuriated
with her. I dont know
Give me a minuet with the girl. Try to keep your hands off the others while I am gone.
Madame replied as she led me away from the group. When we were alone on the empty stage
with the empty theater around us, she literally shook me and demanded, What the hell is wrong
with you? He is offering you a real chance. This place is not much but Pierre has connections,
child. He means what he says. If you are good you will end up in a troupe that travels Europe
playing for the royalty we all despise. He can open those doors for you. What is the problem?
He is your husband and you are estranged from him. I adore you. Why would I work for
him? I asked in return.
She shot a look over my shoulder at the man in question and I knew he smiled at her because
suddenly she smirked. The reason he is in his place and I am in mine is because of me. He is a
good man and he loves me. He has loved me most of our lives. And I have loved him since the
first moment I saw him in his fathers field. We were six. That is a long time to love. But I am
not a woman who can be bound to someone. I am not a woman suited for marriage. So this is
how we love. You need not reject him out of loyalty for me because although our life is not
perfect, he is not my enemy. You see? There is no problem.
I am frightened. I was told I had talent, yes, and I was told I could do this. But I dont know
if I can. I replied softly.
You did not know if you could come here but you did. You are a woman who has done
many things you did not know if you could do. I can tell that by the look in your eyes. This is
just one more thing that will make you look back one day and wonder why you were afraid of it.
So, is it a yes? I said nothing. Arianne, dont let this pass you by. Grab this up with both
hands! Please. Show him and everyone else what you are made of. By him she meant Luke
though she still did not know his name. And she was right. That is what I had come to do after
all. Motioning for Pierre to join us, Madame made all of the arrangements down to pay and
hours. I was impressed by the way they haggled with one another. At the end Isabelle, Elise,
Brigitte, and I left without her. Apparently there was more negotiating to do of a totally different
nature between them. I couldnt help but grin as we all walked away. But I also remember
wondering what the hell I had just gotten myself into.

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Chapter 2
I do not want to do burlesque shows. I declared as we waited for my acting teacher to come.
It was my first night working with Pierre and his troupe. I had gone to see Madame before I
came because I was a bundle of nerves and she had all but force fed me a few strong drinks to
calm those nerves a bit. Perhaps that accounted for the forward way I had acted against my shy
nature.
Pierre smiled at me. No, I never imagined you in such a show. You have the face for
tragedy. In factdo you know any lines from a tragedy? I would love to see your natural talent
while we wait for Mademoiselle De Lorme.
I knew a great many lines to a great many tragedies but instead of saying so, I stood up and
began reciting lines from the most emotional scene of Ariane. I knew the part so well having
grown up on it that it was nothing to slip into the character. I could have played all of the
characters really but because he wanted to see my talent I decided to stay with the one that I
knew the best and put all of my heart and soul into it. By the end of the scene my teacher had
arrived and Pierre was convinced I was the best natural talent he had seen on his stage. But my
mind was so far away from all of this that when I whispered the last line it took me a moment to
come back to the present. After his dramatic clap had ended he directed my attention toward a
woman who was sixty if she was a day. Because of the way she was addressed I had expected
someone much younger and I was a bit surprised. When he made the introductions I reached out
my hand only to have her shake it away with the flick of her wrist. I do not shake hands and I
do not bother with pleasantries. I come from a long line of actors and actresses. My great grand-
mre was one of the first great actresses to take the stage in France, studying under the legendary
Isabella Andreini in her girlhood. I live her legacy every day of my life and if I decided to work
with you I will expect that you will honor that legacy as well by giving everything you have to
the stage.
Of course
She cut me off with a raised hand that told me she was far from finished with her speech.
Are you married?
No. I replied simply.
Do you have a man?
No. I answered though what my relationships had to do with all of this I was not sure.
Do you have children? She went on.
Ive already said I am not married.
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Now she laughed at me. Oh, Pierre, youve found me a country bumpkin! You are in Paris
now, girl, and one does not necessarily have a damned thing to do with the other but I will
assume by your reaction that you do not. This is all good. Very good. You do not need
distractions if you intend to make a life out of this. And that is what acting should become for
you. It is not a career, a hobby, not if you have talent. And I can clearly see you do. No one
knows Ariane and I must admit I am impressed by you. Is that where your name came from or do
you know the play because it has your name?
No, I was named for it.
Splendid! A tragedy actress by birth. Anyway, as I was saying, if you have talent the stage
is not a job. It is a way of life. Can you manage that, girl? Can you give up everything for it if
you need to?
I let out a long sigh. I was not sure if this was the womans actual personality or if she was
simply putting it on for me, but she was exhausting. I have nothing left so that shouldnt be a
problem. I replied.
With that she patted me on the shoulder and gave an honest smile. That is what I want to
hear. Shall we begin then?
For hours we went through the most tedious exercises I had ever participated in. She wanted
to see my range of emotions so for two hours she had me show her every single facial expression
I was capable of. She then read out parts and had me act out what I thought should happen next.
Finally she forced me to sing. This was nearly my breaking point in it all. I am not here to
perform an opera, Mademoiselle De Lorme! I am an actress, not a singer, and I cannot see that
my voice has anything to do with my work in this capacity!
If you keep at this you will do a great many things in your roles and yes, damn it, singing is
one of them! I have performed in at least twenty plays in my fifty years as an actress that
required me to sing. If you get word to go to Rome with your troupe, that you are needed for a
famous part there, and you miss that chance because your character has a part to sing and you
cannot, I will be furious with you and you will be furious with yourself!
Because she was right about that, I bent again to her will and I sang in a variety of ways until
my voice was hoarse. In the end she said it would be good enough to get me by though she was
quick to add that I would not be found in an opera house anytime soon. Finally she said I could
go but as I was walking away she called me back. I know this is pointless considering you are
so country that I am surprised you didnt bring a cow with you to the city but do you speak any
language besides French? When I listed all of the languages I could speak she giggled so
girlishly that for a moment I could see her as the vivacious twenty-year old she once was. She
had been great once. I knew that in that moment. And because of it I intended to be kinder to her
the next time we met. This is a delicious surprise! Besides raw talent, the second most important
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thing for an actress is the ability to communicate in other European countries. Eventually your
troupe will tour. No, not this one but the one that you will go onto when youre ready. When you
do, because of your ability to communicate when so many cannot, you will have your choice of
parts offered always. Whoever thought to school you in such a way must have known you would
be an actress one day. And you should thank that person for their great gift. Now, be gone from
here. I will see you tomorrow. Do not be late!
I rushed out into the cool night and I headed straight for Madames tavern. Brigitte, Isabelle,
and Elise were already sitting around with their glasses and their stories. I had to hear all about
the disaster of a party they had just come from and how they narrowly escaped being arrested
because the police came in on everyone in the middle of it all. I was on my fourth or fifth drink
when I was able at last to tell my tale of the night and as soon as I said my teachers name
Madames eyes shot up from the finishing touches she was putting on the fourth gown I had
made. You know her? I asked. She is an exasperating woman but there is something about
her
She was Pierres first wife. He was granted a divorce when she gave birth to his child and
she left the baby at an orphanage in Italy. He never found the child, though. She explained
softly.
And you allow him to work with her? I asked in surprise.
Of course I do. The man worships me. He loves me to an extent that I find unnatural.
Besides, he despises her. He is civil to her because he knows she is a great teacher. I personally
hate the woman nearly as much as he does. But we all know that she is a great teacher despite
that because even those of us who hate her know that once, on a stage, there was no one who
could touch the talent she had. She was truly one of the greatest actresses of our time. So pay
attention to what she tells you, Arianne, because she will make you a star. By the way, your
second dress sold for a sum that I am impressed with.
Just like that, all talk of Mademoiselle De Lorme stopped and we all went about our usual
routines. Drinking, sewing, and bitching endlessly until dawn called the four of us home and
Madame to her lonely bed. Before I fell asleep I wrote a letter to Cherise telling her all about my
new job. We had kept in touch regularly. Things were the same, more or less, in the castle each
time she wrote me. Mother still wasnt speaking to Luke in the last letter so I wrote her myself
begging her to stop with her silence. Whether she had or not, I hadnt heard yet. It seemed
unbelievable to me as I was going through so many changes that the place I left should still be
the same as it was when I left it. Then again, my family there had forever. They could afford to
stand still for a while. I, on the other hand, was living for the first time in my life. I couldnt
waste a moment of the time I had.
Two weeks passed as Mademoiselle De Lorme went through exercise after exercise that she
had developed herself for perspective actors. Finally she had me reciting lines to plays she
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brought with her. I knew some of them and I didnt need the scripts she brought but others were
Italian, Russian, and German though the scripts had been translated into French. It was an
interesting challenge to play a part that was not French as French theater was all I had ever
known aside from the work of Shakespeare. I did not care at that point if I ever stood in front of
an audience. I would have been happy to act out these new characters behind the curtains for the
rest of my life. But Mademoiselle had different ideas about that. When I was introduced to the
rest of the acting troupe I was brought before a girl named Madeline as Pierre told me that I
would be her understudy. I knew what this meant of course. She was the typical female lead and
I was to learn her parts as well as my own in case something happened and she was unable to go
on the stage. I smiled as I introduced myself and though she shook my hand it was clear she
hated me instantly. I was confused by this. When Mademoiselle took me away from it all she
started laughing. That little bitchI will be happy when you take her place. And you will.
Soon. I have no doubt of it.
I am content to simply be her understudy for the moment. I mean, I dont feel ready yet for
a lead. I replied. The troupe was on stage rehearsing for a show they would do that night and we
were backstage. Which is good considering what she said next.
It is taking a great deal of restraint to keep me from slapping your face for saying such a
thing! You are not content to be anybodys understudy, do you understand me? Your goal is to
be better than everyone in this city, in this country, in all of Europe! And you will begin by being
better than Madeline. Once you become the lead you will be the one that is looked at to go to
The Comdie-Franaise but until you become the lead you have no chance at it even if you give
the performance of a lifetime. Pierre will put you in the lead in no time at all. He is infatuated
with your talent and he knows already that you are better than her. This is why he put you in as
the understudy of a lead actress before you performed your first show. In the meantime, you will
work hard and you will do amazing work each and every time you go out on the stage. I will
push you to the limits because I know you can handle it. And yes, you will hate me. But when
you are picked up by the most famous playhouse in the country, you will know that there was a
purpose for it all. Understood?
Yes. I replied, knowing again that she was right.
Good. Now, I do not know anything about your background but I can tell that you know a
thing or two about theater politics. However, you are from the country. The actors on a country
stage are not as cutthroat as those who work here. They dont have to be. Madeline knows that
Pierre would not put someone in as her understudy who is new to the troupe unless he believed
that person could work as a lead. It took her five years to work her way up in this hellhole. She
has played eight roles as the lead actress with people from The Comdie-Franaise sitting in on
four of them. No one has even hinted at bringing her in there despite the fact that they have been
looking for new talent for the last six months. That is not lost on her either. You are not just her
understudy, girl, you are her enemy. Have limited contact with her. Do not socialize with her
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outside of the theater. And never ever go alone with her anywhere at any time. She is an
aristocrat by birth and I have known her long enough to know that she resents the fact that she
has yet to get her way in this world. She believes things should simply fall in her lap because of
her family name and honestly I am surprised it hasnt. Her family has most likely demanded that
she be banned from the national theater because she dared to come and do this to their reputation.
Anyway, I would not put it past her to do you serious harm. This is not a joke so wipe that
damned smile from your face. I am quite serious. Ask Pierre if you do not believe me.
I didnt know what to say. She was truly serious and I wanted to take this warning seriously
as well but it was hard for me to imagine anyone doing harm to another human being over acting
roles and theater politics, as Mademoiselle had called it. But I suppose anything was possible.
Had Madame not told me my first night in Paris that the place could be dangerous? And, as my
teacher pointed out, the actors and actresses here were fighting for their dreams. No one in the
theater back home were as serious as all that. So I promised to do as she said. Because I believed
everyone that told me she would lead me to great things, I barely grunted when she told me our
new hours together would be noon to midnight. When I asked how long this schedule would go
on she only shrugged, not a gesture I found reassuring in the least. But I said nothing as I
prepared to leave for the evening. And when she stopped me with, Oh, and tell your beloved
Francine that it would not kill her to come see her sister sometime. We may dislike one another
but we are all thats left of our family. So it would not kill her. I was stunned.
She is your sister? I demanded as soon as I entered the tavern. The place was packed with
people and I had a headache that was threatening to get worse with each voice I was forced to
absorb at once.
Tossing me an apron over the bar, the sign that I was to get my ass behind the mahogany
and help her serve drinks, she looked none too pleased that Mademoiselle had told me her secret.
Clare finally said something about that, did she? Well, lets have it. What was her message for
me this time?
That it would not kill you to come visit her since she is the only family you have left. I
replied while filling an order for a Latin teacher from the local university.
Ah, well, on that account she is wrong. I did not run away from the mama she loved so
goddamned much and sell my body because I enjoyed the family I was born into. I had no desire
to seek out her company when we were girls and my desire to do so has waned even more in the
years passed. She embraced the whore that gave birth to us and her lifestyle. She wanted that. I
did not nor do I want any part of it now. So you can tell her that it would kill me to visit with her,
actually, as her very presence seems to suffocate my vital soul.
That sounds a bit dramatic, even for you. I replied simply.
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She turned toward me with her hands on her hips and an obvious scowl on her face. She
then called for a woman, a boarder I assumed, to take over as she led me into the kitchen and
past that to a supply room of sorts. You must have no idea what it is like to be born into a
family full of people who are nothing like you. All of us had different fathers, you know. And we
were raised only by mama because she had no idea who any of us belonged to. Five children, all
girls, and instead of being at home with us she worked her nights away pretending to be a great
actress. Yes, she made it to the Palais Royale just as Clare did eventually. Yes, people sang her
praises. And in the meantime her daughters went hungry and were raised by fucking stagehands
who could be kind and good to us or who could be cruel and use us. It was all the same to her.
The only thing she ever cared about was the goddamned theater anyway and we were simply
inconvenient testaments to her after-the-show parties and all they entailed. Clare is just like her.
She has more talent perhaps but aside from that, she is just like her. I could not stand the first
Francine and I want no part of the child who took after her in every possible way. You know, I
asked her for the child she left on a strangers doorstep. I did. I cannot have children and there
she was pregnant with one she did not want. What does she do? She goes hundreds of miles
away and dumps the baby like garbage. Could you visit with such a woman?
No, I could not. Not in your position. And just to be clear, you are very wrong about the
sort of family I was born into and my relationship with them. I was also born into a house full of
sisters that were nothing like me. In fact, they are despicable. So much so that I claim a woman
who has no blood ties to me as my family and it is she I write to while I do not have any
communication with my sisters. I doubt they even know where I am and I know they dont care.
I am sorry for the past, Madame. Maybe Mademoiselle is too. I dont know. All I know is that
when she spoke to me tonight she looked more sincere than any of my sisters ever have.
For a while she was silent as if she was thinking about something. Finally she said softly,
Perhaps Ill call on her this week. I call on Pierre on Wednesdays and Saturday nights. I could
stop at her home on Wednesday morning
With that I started laughing. You married your sisters husband. What sort of person does
that?
She chuckled as she literally pushed me out of the little room where plates and glasses were
kept. The same sort of person who visits her husband twice a week because she cant stand to
live with him I suppose.
I worked with Mademoiselle twelve hours a day, six days a week for months and she was
right. By the end of that first week I did hate her for it. But I did not begrudge her the long hours
because in a month I had my first part in a play and it was a decent role to start out of with. I was
playing the second most important female role in the drama but instead of prompting my teacher
to slack off, this new development seemed to increase her determination to make me the best.
We recited my lines, acted out my scenes, alongside those of Madelines character, and in the
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scenes where both characters were present I had to play to myself, so to speak. As soon as I was
given the part I wrote Cherise and told her believing that everyone, Luke included, might come
to Paris for a night to see me on the stage. This was the dream he had set me free for, after all. To
me it seemed only right that he come to see the way it worked out. As opening night drew near
and nerves over my first performance combined dangerously with the exhaustion my nights were
again plagued by those old dreams of my love along with new dreams until I felt that there was
no peace from his memory even in sleep.
The night of the show Brigitte, Isabelle, and Elise refused to go to work and Mademoiselle
was kind enough to have me come in for only four hours earlier in the day so I might relax
before the big event. As a result of that, I slept until six p.m. when my roommates demanded I
get the hell up so we might go to the tavern before I went to the playhouse. I was a nervous
wreck with my mind going over a million things that might go wrong. Being booed off the stage
was a fear that started to creep into dreams right alongside Luke the last week before the
performance and as I told Madame this she insisted on feeding me liquor to settle my thoughts
before she tossed us out. I wouldnt miss this for the world, you understand. But you need to go
prepare and I need to get ready.
I was practically pleading with her to give me some more time even as she shoved me out
the door. She must have known what I did not; that if she did not push me out, I likely would not
have gone at all. In fact, while we were making our way to the theater I tried to turn back twice
until my friends realized that if they did not get a cab I would never make it in time. As soon as I
got backstage there was no time left to second guess my ability as Mademoiselle was ready to
pounce. You are ten minuets late! You will simply have to read lines while you are getting
dressed. Come!
Leading me to the dressing room she was cursing at me in three languages, something I
found impressive but I dared not say so. Young women were waiting with clothes, face paint,
hair brushes, and combs and as I was made up to look the part I was playing (a Venetian
whoremy roommates were highly amused with the role) I did just as my teacher said, reciting
both my lines and the lines of Madeline despite the fact that she was there in the room with me
and she looked quite capable of playing her role for the night. There would be one last rehearsal
with the entire cast, a quick rundown of the show, and as everyone cleared out to head toward the
stage for that, Mademoiselle critiqued something I had done. It was the wrong time for it. My
outburst was related to that and that alone. I was already doubting myself and hearing her voice
an objection to the way I said a line (not enough feeling, she insisted, though she then turned
around and said I was feeling it too much) only confirmed what I had feared all along. So when
she asked sarcastically, Do you even want this at all? I threw a proper tantrum.
No, Mademoiselle, as a matter of fact I do not! I told you I wasnt ready for this! I am not
ready! And now you will shove me on the stage the same way your damned sister shoved me
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into the troupe and I will go out there and make a total fool of myself all because no one here
seems to believe that I know what I am capable of! Damn you all!
Later I would look back on this and feel gratitude for the fact that Madeline wasnt in the
room when this happened. I would have never lived it down, this moment of honest weakness. I
thought that my teacher would become impossible in that moment, that she would shout at me
and tell me I was behaving like an idiot. Instead she guided me toward the chair I had sat in to
put my makeup on and she took a flask out of her undergarments. There, there, bb. These
fears are all quite normal. I assure you they are. But you cannot carry them with you on that
stage. Back here you may feel you are not ready. In time the feeling will fade a bit but it never
goes away, not really. It is part of what turns a good performer into a great one. If you thought
you were perfectly in control, that you had learned all there was to know and you were at your
best, you would never strive for more, correct? But on that stage you must play, along with your
role, the part of a perfectly confident person who knows you are the best. So drink up and take a
breath. I would never allow my student to go out there and make a fool of herself. If you were
not ready, you would not be on that stage tonight.
I knew she was right about that. Mademoiselle De Lorme was one of the most sought after
acting teachers in the city. Although she would sometimes come in to Pierres playhouse when
he insisted there was someone there worth her time, she was a teacher to some of the best actors
and actresses of our age. She had a reputation to maintain and I was a reflection of that. If I
screwed up, I wasnt embarrassing myself alone. So as I downed the whiskey she gave me I
found comfort in the fact that she thought I could do this even if I was still unsure that I could.
When I left the dressing room my head was held high and I suppose I did look as if I were ready
to take the world by storm. It didnt matter what I believed in that moment. It mattered only how
well I could fool the people in their seats.
There were a few people sitting in the audience but that was not unusual. It was Pierres
policy during every rehearsal to allow makeup girls and stagehands to sit in the seats so the new
actors could get a taste for performing before an audience before their first opening night.
Rehearsal was much the same as it had been every time we did it except for the fact that it was
shorter than usual and in no time at all we were backstage once more being touched up for the
show while costume people arranged our outfits in the order that they would be needed to make
changes easier. All of this was so surreal, as if I had stepped into a dream. Perhaps that was my
minds way of dealing with the pressure of it. Everything seemed to slow down and yet the time
was passing far too fast. In no time the first act began. I had only a brief part in this act and it did
not come up until the end so I stood off to the side with the curtain blocking my view.
Mademoiselle was at my side and the one time I went to peak out at the crowd she literally
slapped my hand as if I were a naughty child. Are you trying to commit suicide through freight?
Never look at the audience until you are on the stage. They will fade away then, you see. There
will be nothing but you and the cast unless you have the image of five hundred faces staring
ahead inside your mind. Come. Well do one last recital
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And that was how she kept me occupied until a stagehand told me I had but a few seconds
left. Before I walked out she whispered, Remember, focus on the stage, not the audience. Make
me proud, bb.
My heart was pounding so hard I thought it might burst. I wanted to look out to see my
friends, their comforting faces lined in a row, to see if my little family had come, but instead I
slipped into the part as I had done every single day since I was first given my lines and yes,
despite the fact that I thought it could not be done, I forgot that the world outside existed. I was
completely absorbed in the world of my character, in her scheming and her planning, in her
friendship with Madelines character and the lengths she would go to to see her friend get the
man she loved, and in her own pain that was diminished next to her friends but was there none
the less. At the end of act three, when my character took her last breath dying so her friend might
leave, I was no longer playing a part. I had become that woman completely. The applause was
thundering and bows had to be taken as our names were announced. Everyone seemed to be
talking at once behind me, before me were all of those faces that were standing now to give their
praise with their clapping, and around me were people I barely knew who had, for an hour or so,
been my best friends and my worst enemies. Madame was weeping with a smile on her face and
concentrating on her was probably what kept me from fainting. Had it been a success? It looked
that way. Yet I did not feel triumphant. Luke was not among the audience members. He had
missed my first night on the stage. I hadnt even realized I was truly waiting for him to come
until he didnt show up.
Why do you look like youve just attended your best friends funeral? You stole the show
with a supporting character. That is cause for celebration, Arianne. Madame announced as soon
as she came into the dressing room and saw the expression on my face. A vase of small purple
roses were sitting on my stand when I sat down and though they had no note I knew who they
were from. To see them there was worse than having nothing from him at all, the bastard, and if
they had not been so beautiful, I would have smashed the lot. The fact that I couldnt stop my
eyes from wandering toward them as I took the paint off my face only aggravated me more.
Spotting the flowers as she leaned down to kiss my cheek, Madame giggled girlishly in a way
that had me looking up. I actually rolled my eyes as she abandoned me to press her nose into the
fragrant beauty of the roses. A rose that color? How extraordinary! But who would have such
flowers? Where did they come from? My eyes were filling with tears I could not control as I
looked up at her and she backed away from the vase as if the sight of it revolted her. Ah, I see.
He did not have a right to miss this, little one, not if he loves you as you love him. And he does
not deserve those tears from you when your heart should be full of joy. To hell with him. If I
know Pierre you will have a lead role by autumn. If he cannot find time to share this with you,
you should not find time to mourn his absence.
She was right, of course she was. He wanted me to live and I was doing that. It would have
been difficult but I would have been content if he had simply come to watch the show and left
when it was over without so much as a hello to me. He could have done that much. He chose not
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to. So when my friends led me out into the cool late April night toward our apartment where a
party was waiting, I let them all feed me alcohol. I drank multiple glasses of Madames special
concoction, accepting each one she handed to me. And when a young man that had once come
home with Brigitte kissed me I kissed him back. With her approval, I took him to my bed that
night and though I hated myself for it the next morning I couldnt help but feel satisfaction in the
fact that for the first time in my life I awoke in the arms of a man who was not Lucania.

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Chapter 3
It seemed that after that first show everything picked up for me with my stage career. That
first play had what I was assured was a good runsix weeks with four shows each week and one
Sunday afternoon matinee. I was told that my name was starting to make the rounds, that people
were coming to see Pierres new actress by the end of the run, but I saw none of this. I worked
and I slept. If I was fortunate enough to get out of the playhouse before three in the morning, I
went straight to Madame La Rues and it was from her that I heard the most about the things that
were being whispered about me. But the only change I saw to support the things she said was the
hatred and cruelty that Madeline started showing me after the first week. It got worse as talk of
me becoming the new lead actress of our troupe started going around. She started with words,
cruel comments made about me and my friends. I ignored her, sticking to the things
Mademoiselle De Lorme had told me time and again about the girl. Then, just days before the
show was to wrap, I bought a new dress. Summer was coming fast and I wanted a new gown to
celebrate my small taste of success on a Paris stage. It was the first beautiful thing I had ever
purchased for myself with my own earned money and I was quite proud of it. Apparently that
was a fact I should have hidden from the increasingly envious woman to whom I played an
understudy.
Something was off but I couldnt put my finger on it. We had just come off the stage and
the ecstatic energy that had filled the dressing room on that first night had long ago faded. So the
only people in the room were the actresses and their teachers and I was about to change when I
noticed something smeared all over my beautiful yellow gown. Smelling it, I had to force the
tears from rising up as I came out from behind the dressing screen with the dress and the chicken
parts in my hand. I had had enough of Madelines abuse. This would be the last time she dared
cross me. With a cold smile upon my face, I stood in front of her in my underclothes as the entire
room went silent. Yes, her friends knew what she had done. Perhaps they had helped her.
Certainly she would not sully her aristocratic skin with a chicken carcass and the blood that now
stained the soft yellow. But she would get dirty for once in her life after all. I would make sure of
it. What a funny joke this is, Maddy. I suppose it is meant to frighten me? Were you hoping for
a scream, a show that I am as squeamish as your kind? I am not. I have killed many chickens in
my time and you will have to do better than a cut up barn yard animal if you intend to have me
running scared. But I wonderhow about you? Does the sight of blood and dead meat frighten
you, princess?
I remember thinking that someone should stop me, that the sight of my ruined gown had
broken the last of my good sense. But everyone stood perfectly still as Madeline whispered
fiercely, Whatever you are thinking of, you had better not. You have no idea what I could do to
you, to your whore friends
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Using the cloth in my hand, I smeared the mess onto the little bitchs face as I laughed in a
crazy way. She screamed like someone was killing her and I realized in some part of my mind
that Pierre had come in the room but Mademoiselle was saying something to him and even he
did not come to the rescue of his fading star. When I was satisfied that I could get no more of the
mess from the gown, I backed away and I smiled to see that she was in tears. And as for my
friends, you are only jealous because there is not one rich young man in Paris who would pay to
have a go with you. My friends make excellent money from your class to do what you do with
stagehands for free. And you hate them for it. You should. As you know all too well, anyone can
go out on the street and spread their legs for pennies but not everyone can make as much as a
Duke by simply laying on her back. Looking over at my teacher who was smiling devilishly
from the doorway, I wrinkled my nose for dramatic effect, asking innocently, Do you smell
something?
Yes, it is the smell of chicken shit. Madeline, dear, you might want to go and have a bath.
The smell of a coward is definitely coming from your direction. Mademoiselle replied, going
along with my strange act. I had asked her once if she hated Madeline simply because of the
girls background and she had regaled me with horror stories of girls who took naps backstage
before a show only to wake up with their hair shorn, of women who had their reputations ruined
over Madelines vindictive lies, of the times that Pierre had wanted her gone from his playhouse
only to be threatened by her family to keep her there or elseso I knew that she was enjoying
this moment far more than I was. Some of the girls who stood around her went along with her
bullshit out of fear, one of them was even a victim of her hair cutting stunt when she had been
the lead actress of the troupe, and I was sure they were secretly enjoying it. But I was not. As
terrible as the bitch was, I had never been so cruel to someone in my life and I found I did not
have the taste for it at all.
At last Mademoiselle came to lead me away as the rest of the girls gathered around to
console their tormentor. I held my tears in until we were in the room where the costumes were
kept and then I buried my face in the ruined dress and I shook with the sobs that came from me.
Come now, child, she deserved it. Dont weep for what youve done. As great as youve been
on the stage since the show began, I have never been as proud of you as I was in that room. It is
about damned time someone stood up to her. You did not just stand up for yourself. You stood
up for every actress who was ever destroyed because they were better than her and she had the
social standing to take them down. You stood up for Pierre who has endured her for the last five
years even though this is his place that he worked his fingers to the bone for. And you stood up
for the stagehands, the makeup girls, the teachersyou stood up for us all. Dry your eyes. She
declared as she held out a gown for me to slip on.
How could I explain to her that this was only slightly tied to the cruelty I displayed in that
room? It isnt just Madeline. I was everything I despise back there, you see? That wasnt me.
That was Madeline, my sisters, every bitch I have ever detested since I was a little girl. And its
not just that Helplessly I held out my gown and at once she understood.
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Yes, I see. There will be more fancy things. As your reputation and your career grow, you
will have a home, a wardrobe full of them. But the first trinket one buys to symbolize the success
we never thought we could achieve is precious beyond its actual worth. I still have mine. A pair
of gold and emerald ear bobs I bought with the money I earned the first time I played the lead in
a show. I havent worn them in years but that makes no difference. Mademoiselle smiled then in
a way that warmed my heart even as it made me sad.
Two years ago I wasnt sure how my family would make it until the harvest and now I can
spend as much on a gown as one season of meager food might have cost us once. Its not about
the money. Its not about the thing. You are right. Its thatI dont know.
Its that you have had success after a lifetime of being told you would never achieve more
than one day being a poor farmers wife. Thats what it is. And that little bitch knows nothing
about the feeling you had when you walked out of the shop with that dress on your arm because
she has never had to overcome hardship to prove she was worth something. That is for the best.
She does not need to know the true depth of the wound she inflicted. Luckily I know someone
who might be able to fix your treasure. Follow me.
There was no point in asking her where we were going. I had learned enough about Clare
De Lormes eccentricities to know that. So I simply walked at her side and waited as she hailed a
passing cab. I couldnt help but stroke the head of the steed closest to us as I walked around to
get in, missing the feeling of being on the back of such a beast. Since my first week in Paris
when I sold Lukes horse because I couldnt stand to ride him and because it seemed I didnt
need him, I had not ridden a horse once. As the weather grew warm and the memories of the
summer a year before plagued my nights and early mornings, I longed to be on a great steed
riding at full speed with the wind in my hair. I was thinking of all of this so intently that I didnt
realize where we were headed until we stopped outside of Madame La Rues packed tavern. The
two sisters were barely speaking which was an improvement over the years of silence they had
shared. Still, they were not on terms so friendly that Mademoiselle would typically go into her
sisters place. Yet here we were with my ruined dress in hand. Can you still work miracles with
delicate cloth? Mademoiselle asked as soon as we reached the bar.
Has the syphilis finally destroyed what was left of your sanity, sister? It is Saturday night
and this is an inn. I am a bit too busy to get the wine out of your gown. Arianne Finally
looking up from the drink she was getting, she stopped in mid-sentence. Looking at her sister she
asked, What the hell happened to her? Taking the dress suddenly and seeing the blood, I saw
the alarm mar her beautiful face. Whats happened to her, Clare?
Calm down, you damned dramatic fool! Its chickens blood. The great Madeline has
struck again only this time she was hit back, so to speak. Tossing her apron toward a new girl
that had come to stay a few weeks before, Madame took us in the back as the two talked like I
wasnt even there. In boiling hot water she worked until her hands were cherry red, using soaps I
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had never seen before, as her sister told her the tale of what happened. I listened to them talk
about it, both of them laughing identically at what I had done in my retaliation, and I wondered if
I wasnt going a bit mad myself. All of this over a dress? It seemed absurd. Yet when Madame
showed me that she had been able to get every last drop of blood out of the gown I wept as I
hugged her. I never wore it again, that beautiful pale yellow thing that had led to the most
dramatic thing I had ever done off of a stage, but I kept it. Just like Mademoiselle and her ear
bobs, I could never part with it no matter how long it sat in disuse. That simple garment was
more than a dress. In the end I suppose it was a symbol of hope I had long ago let go of.
I soon had a new role in a play that was opening less than a month after the first came to a
close. It would be the last role I had as Madelines understudy. One would think that when the
bully got a taste of her own medicine, she would have backed off. But that was not the case.
After opening night of the second play, talk began spreading through the company that I would
make my debut as the new female lead and as the whispers grew more persistent, Madeline
increased her games on me. She never attacked me directly. I dont think she had the courage left
for that. But she spread her rumors concerning my past, she tried to catch me in some act of
indiscretion, she even set me up a few times as if I socialized with anyone in the troupe enough
to fall for such things. If someone she knew came up to me, especially one of the actors,
suddenly feigning interest in being my friend, it did not take a great deal of thought to know she
was behind it. I am not sure what it mattered, this attempted staining of my reputation. I
sometimes believe that she forgot she was no longer in the aristocratic company of her birth. As
actresses, we were whores even if we were virgins. So I let her go on. And as my reputation grew
off stage, it grew onstage until her stories unwittingly helped seal the spot for me at the top.
The very night that the second show closed, Pierre and Mademoiselle demanded I stay behind
as everyone left for their after show parties. I was exhausted. This show had a longer run than the
one before it and three nights a week we were doing two shows a night. In addition to this, when
I did go home at night there were usually parties or groups of people waiting for me, invited over
by my roommates that I rarely saw anymore. All I wanted was to go back to my apartment and
sleep, perhaps for days. Instead I was sitting in Pierres tiny office waiting for him to see the last
of the troupe off as I tapped my foot on the floor impatiently. To keep me over a half an hour?
This had better be damned good, La Rue. I spat out impatiently when the pair at last came in.
He laughed at me as he tossed me a cigarette or something closely resembling one. Lighting
it with a smile he took his time sitting down, even putting his legs up on a stool he kept by his
chair. Listen to you suddenly taking that tone with me! If you are going to behave like Madeline
in six months time I would rather not extend the offer I had for you after all.
I glared at him for comparing me to the bitch but I apologized for my short temper. I am
simply tired. What of this offer you have?
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I think your teacher should tell you. She worked far harder to get you here than I did. He
replied.
I suppose I knew then what Mademoiselle was going to tell me. Once upon a time hearing
that I would be the new lead actress in a troupe was something I thought I would be ecstatic
about. Now it was only another step. Toward what? I dont know if I was sure yet. The national
troupe perhaps, international shows, something bigger. Already I had that in my head. Monsieur
La Rue had planted the notion in my mind firmly and then he allowed Mademoiselle to water it
so it would grow. But perhaps my ambitions were actually quite a bit lower than all that. From
the moment I stepped foot on that stage all I wanted was to be there. I didnt care what I was
acting in, how large my audience was, and the size of the role only mattered because the bigger it
was, the more time I had to do the only thing left that I really loved. So when she told me the
news I smiled brightly and I hugged them both. I pretended to be excited because I knew they
would be disappointed in the truth yet when I walked home that night I felt as if nothing had
changed. Suddenly I was just a little bit lonelier.
My first lead role had me playing Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. My father had always had a
soft spot for Shakespeare and he owned copies of everything that was penned by the famous man
so I didnt need to read the lines. I knew them by heart already. Although this was my first time
playing the role on the stage, I had been Juliet many times in my life. I knew her emotions, her
thoughts, her incredibly irrational logic. But the last time I acted her out for the amusement of
my father I was young enough to believe the tale romantic in its darkness. Now that I had been
cast out by love, I thought the whole thing was stupid. So I did have to work a bit to hide that.
The first few rehearsals were difficult because of this and the third rehearsal ended with a blow
up between my teacher, my boss, and me. Pierre threatened to replace me with Madeline and I
laughed at him. Yes, do that. She has nothing in her head, not a single intelligent thought, so I
imagine she probably has far more in common with Juliet than I do. This entire story is fucking
rubbish. You know that, right?
Pierre and Mademoiselle looked at one another as if they were trying to decide who should
handle me. Mademoiselle just shrugged. I think she knew she had little to offer me this time
because she agreed with me on the matter. But Pierre was a romantic by nature so it was he that
came to me and put his hands gently on my shoulders. Dear girl, surely there was a time when
you believed in true love, even if it was a love that was not good for you. There must have been a
time when you believed in a love so great you would have died for it.
Yes. I whispered softly. And I was a fool.
Perhaps. Perhaps all of us who love are fools but without love we are nothing. So do not
play this role as the woman you are now. Play it as the girl you once were before your Romeo
failed to deliver. Play it as the girl who believed. You can do this. I knew as soon as you walked
up to me that first night that you could play anything. So be Juliet, child.
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Can I have a moment? He nodded and I went backstage to the place where the costumes
were kept. Could I even remember what it was to believe in love that way? Certainly I did once
and certainly I had been willing to die for it. I did everything just short of throwing myself out a
window to force Luke to take my life and give me eternal darkness. It wasnt because I wanted to
live forever. It was because I wanted to love forever. So I sat there alone and I choked with sobs
as I let the memories I normally kept buried flood my mind. It wasnt pleasant, I found no joy in
them, but I needed them. To be great in this role, I needed them. When I returned to the stage I
was Juliet completely. What I never guessed was that this role would be the one that eventually
changed my life.
I wrote Cherise about the role but this time I extended no invitation for them to come. What
would have been the point? Yet I knew I would look over the audience at least once each time I
went out hoping to see Luke there. I had done it every time before. I even told her what I used to
get in character. I knew he read my letters to her and I wanted him to know that he had helped a
little. Maybe I hoped this knowledge would cause him pain as well. He continued to send me
money every month even though I didnt need it. I was still working on the dresses with Madame
and my roles had been steady enough. Besides, Pierre paid us all a little even when we were in
between roles so none of his actors went without. But despite this, Luke continued to send the
money. But after that first time he never sent another note. Even that kindness was not spared for
me. Pierre had been spot on about my Romeo not delivering in the end.
I was told ahead of time that opening night would not be anything extraordinary. The people
who loved the play would come and if they were impressed by the actors they would then spread
the word that this was something to see. So the crowd will probably be light. And it may seem
unimportant to give your all out there. But you must. You must put on the best show youve ever
done because that is how we will fill the seats a week from now. Pierre told us all that night. I
must admit his speech made me a bit nervous. In the two weeks since I found my way with the
character I was told that I was amazing, that I was the best Juliet Pierre had seen since
Mademoiselle herself last played the part. But I was still unsure. How could I go out on the stage
and convince the people of a love that I myself no longer believed in? I wasnt sure that I could
but I knew that I had to put myself through hell with the memories of a time when I thought I
had found such a love if that was what it took to make this show a success.
When I went out on the stage I paid no attention to the crowd at all. I had spent the past
thirty minuets alone thinking on cold arms and hard lips and I knew that I had cast a sort of spell
on myself and that seeing twenty bored people in the audience could break it. So I stayed in the
world of Shakespeares making from start to brutal finish. When Juliet realized her love,
believing her dead, had killed himself with poison, when she kissed his lips (still warm), and
grabbed his dagger and stabbed herself exclaiming, There rest and let me dieeverything she
felt I felt. I was no longer acting. As I lay dead on the body of my Romeo, I felt the bittersweet
pain of sacrificing absolutely everything for love. And when I bowed to the audience at curtain
call, I wept real tears for the tragedies of life.
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I knew it! I knew you could do it, my girl! Pierre cried out as I sat in front of a mirror
removing the stage paint from my face. Madame and Mademoiselle stood on either side of him
and I smiled at them all.
I was raised behind a stage, Arianne, and I had one of the greatest actresses in France for a
mother, an even greater actress for a sister, but you Coming over, Madame touched my cheek
and smiled. You are the first Juliet to make me weep when you thrust the dagger in. I forgot,
you know, that it was my petite bb up there. I forgot it was you! That is no small thing.
Tomorrow night you will have a full house, I am sure. Paris has never known a Juliet like you
and this city is full of sentimental fools.
Thank you. Thank you all so much and Pierre I gestured for him to come to me and he
did. Taking his hand I said softly, Thank you for believing I could do this. Thank you for
convincing me that I could remember what it was like to love. Standing, I kissed him on the
cheek. So did the girls come with you? I asked Madame.
No. The higher class is having some sort of engagement tonight and they couldnt get out
of it but they are meeting us at the tavern tonight to drink until I kick you all out. They will be
here tomorrow night, though. And I believe Brigitte is bringing her latest admirer with her for the
show.
I couldnt help but laugh as I grabbed my cape. The earliest signs of fall were taking over the
city as the summer passed us by. It was late September but the night was cool. Now that is
hilarious. Almost sounds like some sort of joke, doesnt it? A prostitute and her patron go for a
romantic showing of Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare would be quite proud of that. The latter
part was not sarcasm. I had learned of the writers life as well as his works and I knew enough to
know he didnt shy away from the pleasures of the flesh himself.
That is how Paris shows the world romance. Madame laughed. Mademoiselle followed us
into the night as Pierre kissed his wife goodbye. He wanted her to stay. I could tell that. But
instead she went with us to a carriage she had recently purchased. Her driver was waiting as he
had been commanded to do and as soon as we got in he was ready to take us home. The two
sisters talked and laughed as they had become accustomed to doing over the past couple of
months but my mind was still on that stage. It was with the young couple who died to be
together. This role had made me yearn for Luke again in a dangerous way and I had cried myself
to sleep more than once after rehearsals over the past two weeks. But there was nothing to be
done about it. I could write him until my hand fell off, I could go back to his estate and demand
that he take me back, but it would all be for nothing. The only thing for me to do was to take that
love that lived for him and put it into the work I adored. What I could not have from Luke I
would give the world, or at least our small corner of it, before candle light and stage props. And
in that way I would be content even if happiness seemed far behind me.
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By the time Elise, Isabelle, and Brigitte arrived that night, Madame, Mademoiselle, and I
were well on our way to being drunk. And when a man followed behind my friends with
Brigittes hand clasped in his, I pointed at him and asked, Who is he? I played Juliet tonight and
I did it well and I am sickened by love at the moment. The last thing I want to see right now is a
man! Brigitte glared at me like never before. Grabbing my arm, she led me in the back but she
had to wait to chastise me because I was laughing too hard to hear her.
When she had my attention, she said in a voice barely above a whisper, He isnt like the
others, Arianne. He isnt someone I see just for the money. I thinkoh, I dont know what I
think. Just be kind to him, please. Hes a good man and hell make you laugh. I swear to it. Just
be kind.
She tried to walk away after that but I grabbed her arm as realization struck me. Youre in
love with him, arent you? Oh, Brigitte She was the tough one. She was the one who never
became attached to the men she worked for, the one who called girls who fell in love with such
men the worst kind of fools, and now here she was in an impossible situation herself.
Like I said, I dont know. All I know is that hes different from the others. Lets leave it at
that, alright? I nodded.
She joined the others but I stayed behind for a moment to compose myself. Not only was
she in love with him, she hated herself for it. I could understand this far better than I could
understand the love that drove the dagger into Juliets chest. But when I returned to the group I
was all smiles. I told them about the show and we laughed over the stories the others had of the
party thrown by their rich patrons that night even though one of them was sitting at the table with
us. She was right when she said that he appeared to be unlike the others in aristocratic society.
He did make me laugh. He even had Madame near to hysterics with his jokes and his quick wit.
He did not treat Brigitte or the rest like they were whores he paid to spend time with. He treated
them all like equals and to Brigitte he gave affection as if she were his betrothed. He was very
fond of her but even I knew that it would never come to anything. No one would tell me who he
was exactly but it was obvious he was an important young man. His family would make sure the
two never married, never made a life together. But they were both too far gone to think of the
future. My heart broke for them even as I envied what they had.

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Chapter 4
The next night the audience was quite a bit fuller than it had been the night before. But there
was something strange about the people in the seats. Our theater was not the place that the well-
to-do came for their theatrical entertainment. We put on shows for the commoners of Paris. So I
was stunned when I peeked out at the people just before the actors took the stage for the first act
and I saw that the first three rows were full of well-dressed men. Brigitte, Elise, and Isabelle
were all seated with their dates in the first row but that did not explain the rest of them. Whats
going on tonight? Why does it look as if half the lords in the country have come tonight? Has the
palace taken us over as well? I asked Pierre in quiet sarcasm.
Oh, of all the nights for you to look output it out of your head. You must. Pretend as if it
was last nights crowd and give an even better show tonight. Ill tell you everything after the
curtain call. Put it out of your head until then!
The fact that he gave me that as an explanation made me very nervous so it was to
Mademoiselle that I went in search of real answers. I did not have much time left and I didnt
need to be bothered by the crowd but it was a bit hard to forget them. Whats going on tonight?
Am I being looked at for the national theater? Is Jacques? What is going on?
Laughing at me, she patted my shoulder as if I were a damned fool. Honestly? Why would
you think such a thing? Jacques has not one hint of the talent necessary to be in the national
troupe and you are far from ready. No. It is just your friends, child. They brought their friends
who brought their friendsand suddenly three rows of aristocratic blood have invaded our
beloved theater. Disgusting, no? But its only for tonight. You had better hope none of them
brought vegetables. Spoiled little bastards! Now go, take your place. Its nearly time.
Her performance on this speech was absolutely flawless. I believed every word of it and my
mind was immediately at ease as I prepared myself for the show. I paid none of them any mind
when I went out and they remained far from my thoughts throughout the performance. If it were
possible for me to become more like Juliet than I had been the night before, I did it. There was
no outside world as I went from scene to scene remembering what it was to love until my very
soul felt raw. Oh, how I would be happy when this role was put to rest, I thought as I bowed
again with the tears standing in my eyes. It was too much and yet that was the beauty of the
stage. It enabled you to feel through the protection of a character the things that would break you
if you felt them as yourself.
I am so happy that you were not shaken by the audience. I was afraid that you might be
and that it might affect your performance but you were absolutely flawless out there. You must
be very confident or drunk on Madames special brew. Which is it? Brigitte asked as I changed
my clothes.
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I laughed at her. Well, after Mademoiselle mentioned vegetables I was a bit nervous but it
wasnt enough to destroy my performance. Why the hell did the three of you bring half the
aristocracy with you tonight? I thought it was only supposed to be yourfriend coming along?
Looking out at all the silk and lace was annoying. We dont see much of that here as you know.
Did the Comdie-Franaise burn down in the middle of the night or something?
A man laughed causing me to peek my head over the side of the dressing screen. I must have
blushed fifty shades of red when I saw Brigittes friend standing right beside of her. Thankfully
it did not. My grandfather would be quite disappointed if his theater burned down. And I would
miss out on the only part of my inheritance that I care for. It would be a tragedy for everyone.
He replied.
Yourgrandfather? I questioned coming out at once and turning around so my dear
Brigitte could lace me up. I wanted to wrap my hands around her neck and strangle the life out of
her for this entire incident. It is your grandfathers theater? So you are
I am Louis just as I told you last night.
I was caught between shock and furious anger. How could no one have told me that
Brigittes beloved just happened to be the grandson to the king of France, born second in line to
the damned throne and now the heir since his fathers recent death? No, you are Louis, the son
of France and you certainly forgot the rest of your title when you introduced yourself last night.
I practically spat out.
He actually laughed at this and offered a bit of an apology. He was so easy going that it was
almost impossible to believe that he was who he said he was and yet I had known when he came
in to Madames tavern the night before that there was something that set him apart from the other
aristocrats I had seen in my apartment. I met Brigitte in this very theater. You see, when I can
get away from the responsibilities that my fathers death has heaped upon me, I go out looking
for actors to join the national theater. Last night as we walked the streets I heard much about
your performance as Juliet and when Brigitte said that the two of you are great friends I wanted
to come and see you for myself. I do apologize for deceiving you but I did not want to mar your
performance with my title. This way you were yourself on that stage and you have an incredible
natural talent.
Technically I was not at all myself on that stage or we would not be discussing my talent. I
corrected as I removed my paint to keep my hands from shaking. I was told that it could take
years for me to get recognized, to even get someone from the Comdie-Franaise to be bothered
enough to come see me, that it could take longer for them to be satisfied enough to offer me a
position. It took Mademoiselle five years before she was offered a spot and she was theater
royalty by birth. I had only played one lead role. And I had only done so two times. How was it
that the grandson of the king was standing here telling me that I had incredible talent?
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Again he laughed easily. Touch. Now, if you joined my troupe you would start at the very
bottom because that is the way of it. The money would be terrible at first but Pierre and I have
discussed this before when there was a girl with potentialis she still here, Mademoiselle?
I hadnt seen my teacher come in but when I looked in the mirror she was there cleaning up
the dressing room. None of the other actresses had come in, something that made no sense, and I
was left with the feeling of being in a dream. Ah, yes. She was another of Madelines victims.
Shes now the understudy of an understudy. Can you imagine? With the talent she had?
The two seemed to know each other well. I suppose I shouldnt have been surprised by that.
As well as he seemed to love his familys theater he probably spent a great deal of time there and
surely he had been there when Mademoiselle was on the stage. And she sometimes taught actors
there, did she not? I was from a place where royalty and aristocrats seemed millions of miles
away, more like characters in stories than living breathing human beings. Though I had learned
to blend in with the others in the city in many ways I thought I would never become as
accustomed to such encounters as my friends appeared to be.
I am not surprised. I must say, it pains me not that my bitch cousin is here instead of home.
It is hilarious that she still thinks she will ever walk on our stage. It isnt simply that I despise
her, that my mothers family has forgotten her, that she was a nuisance from the moment she was
bornno, it is more professional than that. She does not have the heart to play on the royal
stage. Dont you agree?
Youve never seen me accept her repeated bribes to instruct her, have you? I do not teach
actors who are second best. Mademoiselle replied.
Yes, which leads me back to what I was saying. Pierre and I have a deal. When I take one of
his actors he will continue to work you as you work with us until you are in a position where you
no longer need this theater. It will be absolutely exhausting and you may leave us both before
you ever see a role as second, let alone lead, on my stage. But if you want to try it, if you think
you are up for this challenge, we would love to have you. The great Mademoiselle will
accompany you until youve taken a lead role. Then you will be handed off to another teacher.
But that is far into the future and there is no need to think on it tonight. If you need time to
consider the offer
No, she does not. Of course she accepts it. Have you brought the papers? She can sign
tonight. Just as her sister spoke for me to get me into Pierres troupe, so my teacher was now
accepting this offer for me. I was absolutely numb as we moved into Pierres office to sign the
new contract and rework my contract with Pierre. Not much was changing on that end. It was
just inserted that he would relinquish me to the national theater if it was needed and I would not
be penalized. On the other hand, Louis (or his grandfather) would pay a sum to Pierre for his
trouble if that happened. My head was spinning as if I had consumed the strongest drink five
times over. We all shook hands, everyone seemed thrilled, smiles were flashing at me, and
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everyone seemed to wonder why I wasnt smiling back. When I walked into the cool night air
my chest was burning. I had just agreed to enter a different world. This was not simply a new
troupe. This was the best of the best, the actors who were revered by royalty. It was pressure
unlike anything I had ever known and all of that pressure seemed to be sitting right on my chest.
How would I ever make it through this, I wondered. How could I succeed there?
What the hell has happened to you? Did someone die? You are white as a sheet, child!
Madame declared as I walked into the tavern. I was on the verge of panic and I needed her but I
wasnt sure if I wanted reassurance that I would be fine or if I wanted her to tell me to get out of
the contract anyway I could. I walked straight into the back. It was a Saturday night and the
tavern was packed. This was something I needed her to hear and I was glad she got the hint and
followed me.
I was crying as I told her all about this new twist in my life, even chastising her for knowing
who Louis was without telling me. I dont understand what the tears are for. You have made it
to the top in six months. That takes even the greatest actor years, you realize. And you earned it.
Yes, it was good fortune that Brigitte met Louis but that man cares more for the theater than he
does his duties as the son of France, I assure you. He would never offer a contract to someone
who was second rate no matter how smitten he may be with your friend. You are on the edge of
your dream. You are standing on the edge of total greatness. So dry your damned eyes, put your
damned chin up, and show that strength we both know you have. This is no time to second guess
yourself. You have months, perhaps years, of hard work ahead of you before you get so much as
a speaking part. And you will get such a part. You will work your way up to the top and you will
be the star of that troupe, do you understand me? You deserve it. You will not fuck it up now.
With that she hugged me tight against her. She was proud of me and that was what I needed to
move forward with all of this. All it took to erase the bulk of my doubt was a mothers pride.
After a couple of drinks I was taken home in Madames coach. In the apartment I found my
friends and their men having a bit of fun. Drinks were passed around and laughter echoed
through the halls. Louis wanted to know if I was alright and I assured him I was and that I was
very grateful for his offer. I even hugged Brigitte though I was more afraid for my friend than
before now that I knew that the man she loved was the crowned prince of our country. He was
married. He was royalty. And he would never be able to give her the life she suddenly wanted.
But as I went toward my bedchamber it wasnt Brigittes heart that was on my mind. Although I
was exhausted and I had a full day ahead of me when I woke, I wrote a letter to Luke directly for
the first time and I told him what happened. I told him for the first time how I missed him, how I
watched for him night after night when I went on the stage, and how I wished he would come
even if he couldnt face me directly. Did I expect a reply? I dont think so. But I wasnt writing
the letter to receive a response. I wrote it because I could no longer handle the weight of his
ghost in silence.
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Romeo and Juliet ran on until the beginning of November. According to Louis, it was the
longest run of the play that he had heard of in his life. Pierre, however, corrected him saying that
it was the longest run since Mademoiselle played the part in London for nearly half a year. The
night that the show wrapped Louis brought me flowers taken from a grave in Les Innocents
cemetery. When I expressed my confusion over this strange gift he smiled and explained, Its
good luck to give the lead actress flowers from a cemetery on closing night. Just take your bow
and accept the flowers. I did as he said, going back out when the people called for an encore
with the bouquet in my hand. Flowers were thrown on the stage along with any small tokens that
the people could afford. Things like swatches of cloth and even a pastry were tossed toward us as
the people cheered for their Romeo and his Juliet. Then the most amazing thing happened. They
started calling out my name and mine alone. Bow after bow I took as they cheered for me. I had
become their actress. Word had gotten around about the position at the national theater and to the
people yelling my name in the audience it was their Arianne going to the theater of the king. I
was representing them. There was no better feeling than their adoration and had Pierre not come
out to take me off the stage I would have bowed for hours if that was what pleased them all.
In two months at the Comdie-Franaise I had managed to play three roles where I said
absolutely nothing. In one role I wasnt even a person, only a feisty tree. It was a very strange
paradox to be a tree on one stage and a beloved darling on another but I did not think on either
situation in terms like that. No, my thoughts on it all were far simpler than that. I was just doing
what I was told to do the best way that I could. So far that had worked. Louis was a great friend
to me at this time. He spent more time with Brigitte than he did his wife and he did only what he
could not put off in terms of state affairs. As Madame had said, the theater was his main focus.
Although he had a world renowned director, he had no problem contradicting the director if he
did not agree with him. In that way he reminded me of Pierre who had never hired a director in
all the years he had owned his theater because he was convinced that no one could run a show
with as much consideration as he had. I suppose I forgot Louiss birthright after hours spent
watching him in the theater. He did not seem like royalty after one watched him there. No. He
was just one of us. And I was no longer afraid of his massive world renowned stage because his
presence put me at ease.
Pierre wants to speak to you. Louis said right as I was going into the dressing room.
Cant it wait until Ive changed my clothes? The damned dress he insists Juliet die in weighs
more than you do. I complained. He only smiled as he shook his head. I sighed as I walked,
actually requiring help to get that damned dress through Pierres tiny office door.
I am giving you a week off. I doubt Louis will be so kind but I have no control over that.
When you return next Tuesday you will begin rehearsing for the role of Ophelia. There seems to
be pressure on the troupes of the city to celebrate the upcoming Christmas season with Christmas
plays and I do not like such pressure. So I need you to be an Ophelia so great that we can keep
this running until the New Year. Can you do it?
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I was born to play Ophelia, my friend. I replied with a smile.
Good, good. Thats what I like to hear. Oh, damn, I nearly forgotyou need a nickname. A
nickname for the stage. Do you have any? Something from home perhaps?
Ive only had one nickname in my life.
When I did not elaborate, Pierre asked in exasperation, Well? What the hell is it?
I sighed. La Petite Beaut. But I dont
No, no, its perfect. It is absolutely perfect. Is it not, Louis?
It really is. Louis replied with a smile. It will look good on the adverts. Now, since Pierre
has so graciously given you up for the week and you have no current roles with me, you and I are
going to be doing exercises one on one a few hours each day. Mademoiselle will be there of
course. But I want to see what you can do. Our troupe is trying to make a shift of sorts. We are
the national theater, the troupe that represents the nations talent, and it has been
suggestedmainly by methat we need to start focusing more on tragedy. I have seen you as
Juliet and next week I will come to watch you as Ophelia. If my suspicions are correct you will
be great in the role because I believe your flair is for the tragic, the dramatic. In this way, you
can be a great asset to me in my change of direction. Be at work at noon tomorrow. And tell
Brigitte I must go home tonight but I will miss her dearly. I nodded at all of this. I was tired, I
was sweating in that gown, and I just wanted to get dressed and go home. As I walked out of the
office, Louis stopped me and said, You were amazing tonight. You are the best Juliet of my
lifetime. And then he did something royalty did not do. He bowed to me and kissed my hand.
All I could do was smile.
Since you have worked for Pierres troupe only in the past I must assume youve never
played Ophelia before. Louis said as soon as I arrived the next day. It was always a thrill to
stand on the stage at the Comdie-Franaise. To this day, I defend my opinion that the theater is
the most beautiful in the world. Its ornate touches, the incredible number of seats, the paintings
and the gold. To stand on that stage alone with only Louis and Mademoiselle before me? That
was far more daunting than standing before a filled up room for some reason. But I pushed all of
that aside as I sat far enough away from the candles that lined the stage but close enough to
where I didnt have to strain my voice to answer.
I have never played Ophelia on a stage, that is true. But like Juliet I have played her before
for my family years ago. I know her lines. And now that I am all grown up with a dead father
and a lover who turned me out, I know of her misery as well. It will be the first time Ive been
able to bring that knowledge with me as I become her and I have no doubt it will help. I
couldnt believe I said such a thing but it was true. The same things that drove Ophelia to
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madness, the same things that drove her to her watery end, I now knew in a way I could not have
imagined in the past.
I was grateful to Louis for showing me no pity despite my words. Instead he stood up and
made his way onto the stage. Good. Pierre said that Juliet was a struggle for you yet it never
showed in your performance. If you struggled with Juliet but you played her flawlessly I can
only imagine what youll do with a character you know personally. So I am going to do Pierre a
favor though I would appreciate it if you would refrain from telling him that. I am going to help
Mademoiselle turn you into Pariss best Ophelia. We will begin not at the beginning but with the
dramatic scene where Hamlet casts her out. I shall play Hamlet. Its a rare performance, you
know. Feel honored. Tell me when you are ready to begin.
I assume we are starting from the place where Hamlet enters? I questioned.
Of course. Are you ready?
Absolutely. I replied. He was challenging me and I felt the passion in my veins to act this
out because of it.
I was quite surprised by his performance as Hamlet made his speech and Ophelia asked him
to accept her now despite the fact that she had cast him out. He was actually great as he
demanded she go to a nunnery, accusing her, more or less, of being the seductress that helped
him lose his mind. It was a classic case of a man not wanting a woman but wanting no one else
to have her either and as she pled with God to restore the sanity of the man she loved I thought of
the night that I was cast out. And I of ladies most deject and wretched that sucked the honey of
his music vows now see that noble and most sovereign reason like sweet bells jangled out of tune
and that unmatched form and feature of blown youth blasted with ecstasy. O woe is me to have
seen what I have seen. I cried out. Yes, this was what I needed. This was the role that would
restore the indifference that my mind could not summon on its own as a result of the time I spent
as Juliet.
Perfect! Absolutely perfect! Its the right amount of pain and bitterness, the disbelief that
the man who had so tried to win her love is now turning her out when she had finally summoned
the courage to give in to him freely.it is Ophelia. Alright, now lets see how well you act out
madness. Do you know the music to the tune she sings?
Tell me once more, child, how you do not need a singing voice to act? Mademoiselle said
sarcastically in reference to the argument we had the first day we met. I only rolled my eyes as I
sang out the tune the way it was taught to me.
I have heard it in a major and a minor but I like the way you sing it. Yes, well do it in a
minor. Now, I will play both Laertes and the King and we will begin with Ophelia coming in
with her flowers.
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I thought of the night that my father died, of my own insane reaction that eventually led to
heartbreak and to this very stage, this moment I was living in. I thought of the pain I felt when I
last kissed my fathers cheek and I ran through Ophelias mad goodbye that no one recognized as
such until it was too late. And will he not come again? And will he not come again? No, no, he
is dead. Go to thy death bed. He will never come again. His beard as white as snow, all flaxen
was his poll. He is gone, he is gone. And we cast away moan. God have mercy on his soul!
What is she saying there? What is she feeling? Louis interrupted suddenly.
It is her true realization that her father is dead, that he is gone. She had to say it repeatedly
not to remind her brother or the king but to let it take root in her own mind.
But why? Louis persisted. I had forgotten until that moment that his father had just died
and that there was a possibility that he was feeling the pain of this scene as I was.
Because for some death is easily accepted, the pain of it anticipated. For others it takes
going mad or damned close to it to realize that the person we love will never ever come home to
us again. I need a moment.
Had I ever actually wept for my father after that first night? I was thrust straight from grief
into Lukes world and in his world I was isolated from the pain that I carried in my soul. But
through the words of the tragic Ophelia I finally realized that the first man who loved me, the
man who would have come to each and every show I played in even if I was only a feisty tree,
that man was gone from my life forever and there was no amount of magic or cursed blood, no
amount of begging, that would ever bring him back. Shh, breathe, Arianne. You must breathe.
If you die behind my stage your ghost will join the others here and Ill have to keep another seat
free. Thats too much. So just breathe.
I couldnt help but chuckle through my tears. He will never come again. He is gone.
Almost two years hes been gone and I just let it take root inside my mind. How can that be?
What sort of person neglects the grief she feels for the father who tried to give her everything?
We all handle things when the time is right. I still talk to my father, you know. Its true.
When something is put before me that I must make a decision on, if I dont know what to do, I
close my eyes and in my mind I ask his advice. I know he is not here in the flesh anymore but
like Hamlet and his ghost, I feel my father has not yet left me. Is that acceptance or denial? I
have no idea. But it has kept me from giving out rosemary for remembrance and drowning
myself in self-defense. So that is good enough for me. People like us sometimes need the stage to
get out the things we hide from ourselves. Thats what youve done and before you ran off you
were doing it beautifully. So what do you say we get back out there?
We worked on tragedies the entire week that I was supposed to be free from the stage but
under Louiss tutelage I discovered that he was absolutely right. I did have a knack for this
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genre. And if it was a true change in direction that he was looking for, a move toward this genre,
I would probably work beyond roles with no lines in a shorter time than any of us had expected.
On the last day that I had with Louis a man was sitting in a seat in the wing of the theater. I had
to do a double take because from afar at just a glance he reminded me of Luke and my heart
nearly leapt from my chest. When I realized it was not Luke I felt foolish and that made me
angry. Who the hell is that? I thought this was a closed session like all the others? I demanded.
Well, hello to you as well. Yes, I am well today. I think I might be catching cold but it
could simply be a result of smoking cigarettes rolled in something that closely resembled the
paper fishermen wrap their catch in all night. Louis replied with a smile.
Sorry. He juststartled me. Who is he?
Wave to him. When I looked at Louis as if he were mad he only brightened his grin. Just
pretend for a moment that I will soon be king of this country and do as I say for once, hum?
Wave to him. I did as he said and the man gave a simple nod of his head in return. That is
Etienne Baptiste. He is the teacher you will get the day you are given a lead role and you would
be doing yourself a favor by being kind to him in the meantime. He is a genius. But he is a prick.
And he wants to sit in to see you. Because I am partial to him despite his numerous flaws, Ive
allowed it. But from this point on he is out of your head. When you take the stage tomorrow
evening I want you to be as brilliant as you would be if you were playing the part here with my
beloved grandfather in the wings. Today I want to see nothing but that brilliance in this rehearsal.
But it wont be all Ophelia. Oh no. You are practicing both the cast out lover and the one who
sacrifices herself on a blade for the love she had.
Why the hell would you have me rehearsing a part I played for the better part of two
months? I questioned.
Because the two women may come to the same sort of end but one must be in two very
different states to play them and I want to see how versatile you can be. Lets begin.
Again it was a challenge but in no time I was reciting the most tragic lines of Ophelia before
switching to the doomed romance of Juliet. I did forget about the intruder in the wings as I
treated this rehearsal of sorts with all of the care I would have put into a show. By the end of it I
was emotionally exhausted but I was proud of myself. Louiss praise added to this but when this
great teacher, the man who had said absolutely nothing throughout the four hours we had
rehearsed, came up to me and told me I did well my confidence grew. I must say, the things Ive
heard about your Juliet are all true. You play her beautifully. But Ophelia is the part you put your
soul into. That is quite interesting. Ive never met a woman who put more of herself into Ophelia
than she did into Juliet. I believe that says everything about the sort of person you are. I hope to
work with you soon.
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And just like that he walked away. I had no idea what he meant by any of it. I didnt know if
his words were a compliment or an insult. But there was something about him that made me
think of danger. There was a tingle in my skin when he stood before me that made me want to
stay an understudy for the rest of my life as long as I never had to work with him. This wasnt
love. This wasnt what I had with Luke. No, it was more primal than that, darker than that. This
was lust without emotion and that was usually the most dangerous type of lust there was.

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Chapter 5
Opening night had become an event for those I cared about. Madame, Brigitte, Elise, and
Isabelle came without fail and since Romeo and Juliet began Louis made it to the shows he could
come to. When he appeared backstage before Hamlet began I teased him about coming only to
see if I had paid attention during my week with him but in the time that I had known him I had
grown to care for him as if he were the big brother I was never given. I didnt notice Brigittes
growing disdain over the time I spent with him then. She hid it well. But that night as he and the
girls were about to go take their seats he kissed my hand, refused to wish me luck as always (no
one did in our businessit is bad luck you know) and as he walked away there was a look my
friend cast me for a second that was full of suspicion and anger. It was easy to dismiss, that look,
because she said nothing of it and I never saw it again but it was there. But that night I had no
time to think of it. I had to be the best Ophelia I could be. I think I was proving a point to Louis
about what I was capable of. I wanted to do better than roles with no lines on his own stage and
in a way I was annoyed that he had offered me nothing better when he knew I was capable of
more.
It isnt possiblethat cannot be I heard Madeline say. She was playing the Queen in the
show, something I found fitting.
Following her to the curtain, I asked softly, What are you mumbling about?
She must have been quite excited because she answered me. Etienne Baptiste in this
theater? Why would he be here?
The show had just begun and I did not need this news so soon before going out. He put me
on edge and I knew that there was only one person he had come to see but I couldnt imagine
why. Let me see. I demanded and she further surprised me by actually moving aside. Peeking
out, I saw that he was indeed sitting right next to Louis in the front row. Yes, thats him. But
why he is here? I have no idea.
How the hell do you know Etienne? Madeline demanded.
I dont know him, Ive met him. There is a difference. And as far as how I met him, I think
you know very well the answer to that. Come now. Its not as if I could have seen him anywhere
but the theater.
He only teaches one on one. Have you already?
No, Madeline. Stuff down your envy. Hes not my teacher. And you are about to miss your
cue.
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I had little time before my own cue and now I was a nervous wreck. Why had he come?
What reason did he have for it? I was afraid he would be like a mosquito swarming around my
head throughout the show but to my relief he was forgotten as soon as I stepped on the stage. I
knew if I wanted a lead role on the biggest stage in Paris I had to act out Ophelia in our little
theater as if I were on that other stage already and that is what I put my attention toward. My
favorite scene was the scene where she went mad. I liked playing it and I played it well. As I sat
backstage waiting for the curtain call I found myself mouthing the words to the rest of the play
because I wasnt ready yet to put it to rest for the night. That was rare for me. I couldnt wait to
be done with Juliet. But she had no complexity to her character, only a single minded pursuit.
As I bowed once, twice, three times during an encore I was able to look out at the people at
last. Luke wasnt there of course. He never was and yet I just kept looking. But I breathed a sigh
of relief to see that Etienne wasnt there anymore either. As my friends cheered and threw
flowers at me, the seat he had occupied was blessedly empty. I assumed, of course, that he had
left as soon as the show ended and I was in high spirits as I made my way back to the dressing
room. But my heart nearly stopped when I walked in and found him standing by my changing
area. Madeline had come in right before me and she went to him as soon as she spotted him.
You are not supposed to be in here. Ladies are changing, you know.
Then isnt it the greatest of luck that there are about twelve changing screens in this
room? He replied dryly. His eyes were on me and I hadnt moved an inch from the spot against
the wall that I took up when I came in.
Have you finally come to beg me to join your troupe? It certainly took you long enough.
Madeline went on. Still he didnt spare her a glance.
Hardly. I have yet to forgive you for that whole baby mess and I dont allow third, or in
your case, fourth rate actresses into my invaluable tutelage. You wouldnt have a spot here if you
were not the kings niece by marriage. Our dear Pierre is still patriotic enough to think that
means something. Now if you will excuse me, I have someone to see. Dismissing her as easily
as that, he came toward me. For a moment I thought of walking out the door before he could
reach me but that would do no good. If Mademoiselle found out, not only would she be furious
with me but she would demand I see him. So I stayed where I was and I waited. I need to speak
with you but I am sure you have things to do first. Ill be right outside the door. I feel I must
guard it since you are looking at me as if I was a dagger an inch from your chest.
I didnt care that Madeline and the others were whispering in their little corner. I barely
noticed that the same friends who normally flooded my damned dressing room as soon as the
curtain went down were suddenly preoccupied with other things. I was focused only on the fact
that Etienne was standing in the hall waiting for me. How the hell was I supposed to talk to him
when being near him made me feel as if I were suffocating? I took my time getting the paint off
my face and I changed from my costume slower than I ever had before but I was only prolonging
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the inevitable. Jutting my chin out in defiance without knowing why, I all but marched out the
door to find him standing right where he said he would be. Did you want to speak to me in
here? I asked as if all were fine.
With Madeline the Succubus in there? I would rather not. Pierre has leant us his office.
It sounds as though you know Madeline well. How did you meet? I asked as we walked
because the silence in the typically busy hall was deafening.
She has been under the mistaken impression that she has talent on a stage since she was a
girl. Even if she did, and she does not as I am sure you know, she is an aristocrat by birth and her
sort could not take to a stage if they had all the talent in the world. If they could, Louis would be
famous for it by now. Still she spent years hounding me about teaching her until her cousin
finally dumped her here. Until tonight I had been fortunate enough to avoid her company. You
had better be worth that break in my good luck. Have a seat. He demanded when we walked in.
He took Pierres seat of course. He was in charge always and he never put himself at a
disadvantage in any situation. You were superb tonight.
Thank you
I was cut off as he raised his hand. When I give a compliment I prefer that they be accepted
in silence. My compliments are not given as flatteries, only spoken as truth. I have talked with
Louis about your place at our theater and we both agree that you are not quite ready for a lead
role. Your talent could carry you but to go from a stage like this straight onto that one as a lead
actress would be career suicide. You would freeze up as soon as you stood alone before the
cream of the crop in our society. I am not foolish enough to do that to you and neither is Louis.
Actually, because I am impatient by nature, I might be that foolish but our friend is not. Still, we
both agree that you can do better than trees and silent Indian Princesses from the New World. So
he will soon offer you a bigger part. It isnt much but at least youll have lines. And I am going
to assist with your instruction there. Mademoiselle will still teach you. I must concentrate on the
lead actresses above all else. But when I have spare time and you can manage it, well meet and I
will help as well.
But you only work with leads. I protested.
Typically, yes. I made only one exception before and she is currently playing a role on a
stage in Rome. Not with our troupethe little traitor fled to England with all I taught herbut I
digress. I make exceptions when someone is important enough and you are. This is the part
where you start thanking me, throwing in stage tears for good effect. Why are you just sitting
there? Are you brilliant only on a stage? The best teacher of your profession has taken an interest
in you. You should be bursting with gratitude.
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Why? Why are you making an exception for me? I asked. I knew nothing about him but
yet I knew enough just by looking at him to wonder about his motives. That was the sort of man
Etienne was. A brilliant soulless bastardor so I would later hear.
Did you not hear me? I addressed that already and I do not repeat myself.
If my acting is what interests you than why did you spend the entire last scene during
rehearsal yesterday staring at my breasts? I questioned. He had. He had even moved up to the
front row to do just that and it was the only time that I was distracted the entire day.
You noticed that? Well, I may be a great teacher but I am still a man. You should have
worn a higher bodice. There are many actresses in troupes all across the country that have a nice
pair of tits, Ophelia, but I dont offer to teach them. This has nothing to do with that and I would
appreciate it if you would not insult my dedication to my art like that. You will soon piss me off
if you do it again and as anyone in Paris could tell you, the last thing you want to do is piss me
off.
My name is Arianne and why would I not want to piss you off? The worst you could do is
refuse to instruct me.
I know what your name is, Ophelia. As I have already said, my personal feelings have
nothing to do with my work. I would not refuse to teach youbut you would soon wish I had. I
am not going to offer again. Do we have a deal?
You charge a fee. I heard that from Mademoiselle. In addition to what the theater pays
you, you charge a fee. How much?
I only charge a fee if I am instructing someone who does not deserve it simply because she
happened to get a lead role. Anything else? One more problem and I am walking out.
No, everything is fine. We have a deal. When will we meet? I replied with some of the
excitement he was looking for.
Ill send word when I can work with you. Because my friend is fucking your friend, I know
where you live and where you spend your free time. That would make some people uneasy.
Suddenly he stood up while I stayed put and I could still hear him chuckling as he walked down
the hall.
You should really feel honored, Arianne. Although he told you as much because of his
massive ego, I am telling you that out of professional respect. I have known him all of our lives
and he was the greatest actor of my generation for a short time. Now he is the greatest teacher in
the theater world. And he has taken an interest in you. You should feel honored and you should
feel proud. He made this decision based on what he saw during a rehearsal. That is no small
matter. Am I going to have to talk until I run out of ways to put this to you before you understand
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it? Louis questioned as we all sat around our usual table at Madames tavern. It was nearly
closing time and the place was too loud, too crowded. This was all anyone had talked about since
we sat down and I was tired of hearing it.
Doesnt that strike you as odd, Louis? As you just said, youve known him all your life. So
can you please explain why he has taken an interest in me? You and I both know there have been
actresses better than me. I am not the best
Louis, usually mild mannered, literally slammed his glass on the table only to be rewarded
with a glare and a shouted warning from Madame. Damn it, he isnt looking at it in those terms
and if you had more experience with theater than you have you would know that. What you see
on the greatest stages of the world are the polished up talents, talents honed by teachers like
Mademoiselle and Etienne. You are not seeing what was there the first time they stepped on a
stage. If that were the case there would be no need for me to pay Etienne the enormous fee he
gets twice a month. He is looking at your raw talent. You are a novice in every way compared
with the actors who play the main roles on our stage. Yet you could hold your own against them
even with all of their world renowned training. That is what sets you apart. If you do not learn to
open your damned eyes to what God gave you, you will never make it as a lead on my stage let
alone the stages around Europe. So for your sake, and my own because wasted talent breaks my
fragile heart, get some damned confidence!
Instead of answering, I got up and walked away. People were leaving the tavern but I paid
them no mind as I went to sit beside the piano on the other side of the room that no one ever
played. The truth is, I was terrified to go any further than I had already even though I wanted it
more than anything. I had spent a lifetime as a maid to my sisters, a farm hand for my father, a
simple country girl. I did not have the class, the sophistication, to be on the great stages of
Europe. In addition to that, success can be a terrifying thing when youve wanted it for so long.
If I had a lead role at the Comdie-Franaise and I failed it would be the end of it all and it was
much easier to fail there than on Pierres small stage. All of this I mulled over for a time before
Louis came over and sat beside of me. Dont bother to apologize. You are right. I said softly.
But I dont know how to do what you want me to do. How do you suddenly tell yourself you
are good enough after a lifetime of hearing the opposite?
Surely there was someone who supported you even if others knocked you down. You told
me yourself that there was the first day you showed me your Ophelia just in the way you talked
of his passing. It is your fathers voice you need to keep in your head, the voices of others who
supported his opinion, and you need to ignore those who said you werent good enough. We are
all telling you that you are. Some people value my opinion you know?
Chuckling despite myself, I retorted, No they dont. They simply fear the gallows. It isnt
the same thing.
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Tugging on my hair, he laughed at me. We sat side by side in silence for a minuet before he
tried a line of conversation I wanted no part of. I know that you dont know Etienne. He comes
off hard edged. He cant help it. He is content enough with what he does but he does it with a
hint of bitterness he cant shake. Like I said, he was a great actor once. He knows he belongs on
the stage, not behind it. Because of that he has no tolerance for people who do not appreciate
their gifts so until you gain confidence you need to learn to fake it lest he mistakes your doubt
for nonchalance and he bans you from our theater altogether.
Since he mentioned it and it seemed only right to ask, I questioned softly, What happened?
Why did he leave the stage? I heard him say something to Madeline this evening about a
baby?
No, no. She faked a pregnancy to try to force him into marriage. He was terrified that he
might have any child, let alone a child that was partly Madelines, but he felt no obligation to
marry her. He gave her money to go to a doctor to handle it and later we learned that there was
never a baby to begin with. As far as him leaving the stage, thats something youll have to ask
him. I have no right to tell you that story.
How could it be worse than the one you just finished? I asked, annoyed that he was
holding out on me.
If you had been in the city then you would know the story about Madeline already.
Everyone does. His reason for teaching instead of acting is his alone to share. I cant, I wont,
betray his trust even for you.
Its true. He wont even tell me. Its something half the city has wanted to know since he
returned from Italy after his last show. No one knows where he was for a year when he came
home either. Then one day he just turned up here as if nothing strange had occurred at all. Its
one of the last great unsolved scandals of Paris. Brigitte declared. Until she spoke I had no idea
she was standing there. The man is impossible to deal with but hes rather easy on the eyes.
I hadnt noticed. I lied but my smile gave it away.
Im sure. She replied with a grin of her own.
That is all that was said on the matter for the rest of the night. Rumors spread through the
troupe like wildfire about the reason for his visit with me on opening night. Most of them seemed
to center around an affair and for some reason that made me more popular with Madelines
friends. News also got around about it at the Comdie-Franaise, Louis told me. I hadnt been to
that theater since we stopped rehearsing together. It seemed I wasnt allowed to have any part at
all until I had met with Etienne at least once and with Christmas coming up, he was swamped
with work. But I was promised something after the New Year. So I went on with Ophelia and I
was proud of the fact that I was able to live up to Pierres request. New Years Eve was the night
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the showed closed. We were able to hold onto it through Christmas. However, it was a struggle
to go on pretending that all was well as the anniversary of my fathers death and the night that I
met Luke approached. In addition to this I had one more heartbreak to face. The date that Luke
cast me out. Had it really been a year? It seemed like it had been only days and yet it seemed like
an eternity. When the first of December came my mood turned sour and it was that, I believe,
that led me straight into the arms of a man I should have left alone.
Monsieur Etienne Baptiste requests your presence at the Comdie-Franaise immediately.
A boy of about thirteen announced at my door. It was the second Monday in December, my only
day off, and I had intended to spend it sleeping. In fact, I looked like hell when the boy roused
me. Because of this he had to wait in the hall outside my apartment while I attempted to make
myself presentable. This was the first time I had been summoned by Etienne. In fact, it would be
the first time I had seen him since Hamlet opened. I probably would have made an excuse to
decline his request but he knew already that I had Monday off (as did every other actor and
actress in the city who wasnt busy with private rehearsals since the theaters were all closed on
Mondays) and in Etiennes opinion, the only reason to decline a session in the theater with him
was another obligation to the theater. I knew that without being told directly. So I reluctantly
climbed into the coach and rode through the cold city despite my reservations.
You look exhausted. Etienne announced as soon as I came in. He was dangling his legs in
a charming boyish manner as he waited on me. But when he opened his mouth he blew to bits
the illusion of innocence he had for just a moment.
What a charmer you are. If this were a show I would tell you that greasepaint will cover the
exhaustion. Since its not, I dont think it matters what I look like though I will point out that I
actually put effort into looking only this tired. I retorted as I climbed onto the stage. I hated to
admit it but already the sound of my shoes on the hard wood echoing off the walls sounded like
home to me.
I sat down beside of him in time for him to shout loudly over his shoulder for someone
named Christine. Go across the street and tell them I need coffee. A carafe of it. Immediately.
The girl disappeared and I laughed. It seemed absurd that someone would actually send him an
entire pitcher of coffee yet somehow I knew the caf across the street would do just that. No one
seemed to deny him anything and that irritated me. So is this what were doing now, Ophelia?
You are going to pretend that you are suddenly comfortable in my presence when we both know
that you are not? We can, I suppose. Thats what were good at after allpretending. But I only
teach people to pretend these days so excuse me if I dont want to play along.
Suddenly he got up and walked away. I followed him because I was surprised by his words
and the hint of anger in them. I found him sitting like an insolent boy on a box just beyond the
stage. First of all, stop calling me Ophelia, damn it! And perhaps if you were a bit more
approachable and a little less severe I could be comfortable around you. I countered.
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This is the man that I am. In time, if you stay on the fucking stage, this is the sort of woman
you will become so you might as well learn to be comfortable with it! This is what it does to you,
one way or another. And I will continue to call you Ophelia whether you like it or not. To be
perfectly honest, I like her more than I like you. When you are her you know who the hell you
are. When you are yourself you appear to blunder through everything as if you have no idea
He put his hand up as if to stop himself but he was on the verge of somethingsomething he
wanted to say badly. It must be terrible if he is willing to censor himself considering what he
does say, I remember thinking, even as I said, Oh no please go on. Dont stop on my account,
you prick! Lets have it.
He jumped up so quickly it made me blink and he was closeso close to my face. I felt his
breath on my eyelashes and I knew at once he had been drinking whiskey already that morning
but suddenly it didnt matter. You blunder through all of this as if you have no idea how great
you are. Your eyes are so kind. Do you know how long it has been since Ive met someone with
eyes as kind as your own? Yet there is this passion, this fire in you that comes out when you
become someone else. Why cant you show that as yourself? I would roughen up the edges of
who you are and leave behind the comfort of knowing there is one person left in this world with
your kind eyes, get rid of them entirely, if it meant that they would burn with that passion all the
time. With that he crushed his lips to mine. The kiss was hard, rough, needy. There was no
tenderness in it. Only that lust that was between us already. And when he was finished with it he
literally pushed me away from him. But I wasnt hurt by it. Not at all.
I can never love you, Etienne. I whispered softly. Even if we went to bed together, even
if I ended up your friend and I cared for you, I will never love you.
Thats perfect because I dont recall asking you to love me, Ophelia. But just to quench my
curiosity, why do you say never like that? Am I that terrible as a person that you couldnt even
conceive of it?
It has nothing to do with you. I suppose I actually like the person you are, really. I love
someone else very much. My heart is taken.
He actually laughed at me. Some farmer who is right now milking cows back home while
his fat wife waddles around their dirt floor kitchen pregnant with their fourth? You must be
fucking joking, right?
Hes no farmer, I assure you. He has no wife or children either. And this is all I want to say
on the matter.
As I walked away he practically shouted, He doesnt love you!
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This had me spinning around ready to fight. You have no idea what youre talking about so
you would do well to shut the fuck up. Everyone else in this city might cater to you, Etienne
Baptiste, but I have no trouble telling you to go straight to hell!
If he loved you he would be here. A man does not send a woman he loves to Paris by
herself. Hes abandoned you. So I will say it again. He...doesntloveyou!
And again I will say that you have no idea what the hell youre talking about. You know,
for someone who says he doesnt want my love you certainly are becoming defensive over my
love for another! I countered. God, I just wanted to end this. I wanted to get to work and forget
about all of this. But instead of leaving it alone Etienne moved just inches from me again.
For a moment he said nothing but he looked at me with the darkest expression. I was almost
afraid of him. But then he flashed me a cruel, cold smile. That is because your love for him will
get in the way of what I had planned for you. From the first moment I saw you I knew I needed
to have you spread out on a bed of silk. And now youve fucked that up. I hate nothing more than
someone fucking up my plans.
Now I smiled and perhaps mine was even colder than his had been. You should have
refrained from jumping to conclusions then. I never said I wouldnt fuck you, only that Ill never
love you. So what are we doing today? I want to get it over with so I can go home and sleep. It
was only when I turned around that I saw the girl standing at the side of the stage holding a tray
with coffee and cups perched on it. Oh, how the rumors will fly now, I thought but I was
grinning even as I poured myself some coffee.
We did not end up in bed together that day but we both knew after that conversation that it
was going to happen. Perhaps that is why he began carving out time for me once a week, even
coming to Pierres to work with me when I was working on Ophelia. Or perhaps he simply did
that because, as he had told me already, he liked her better than me. As the city prepared for
Christmas and religious plays were showing all over Paris it seemed that we were the only ones
providing entertainment to those uninterested in going to church at a theater. Because of this,
there were nights when we had audiences so large that people were standing around inside the
theater and so diverse that nobility agreed to stand right alongside the poor. But by the second
week, the week that held two of the anniversaries I so completely dreaded, I started feeling a bit
too much like Ophelia off the stage.
To be honest, I was fucking impossible to deal with for everyone around me. At least at
home in Lukes castle everyone knew why. My Paris friends were clueless. On the day that
marked two years since my fathers death I woke up, drank an entire bottle of brandy, and
refused to get out of bed. Mademoiselle and Pierre both came beating down my fucking door
when I did not show up for rehearsals. I let them in, I listened to their concerned questions, and I
literally laughed in their faces. Have Madeline play the part tonight. Ah, thats right, you cant.
Shes the queen isnt she? Well? Dont I have an understudy?
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Of course you do but
Who the hell is it? I demanded.
Madeline.
My laugh over that was a bit crazy, even to my own ears. And she has an understudy as well
so put her in my spot, her understudy as the queen, all will be fine. I need two days. Just two
missed performances. I will be fine after that. But I cannot go into that fucking theater tonight.
Life will imitate art in a way that no one will ever forget and my career will be over. I promise
you that. So do what you must. Ill see you Tuesday. And with that I literally threw them out of
my apartment.
Madame was sent in next. My roommates had something to do with that, Im sure. I knew I
locked the door after I tossed out my last guests and yet she was able to walk straight in without
so much as a knock. I woke up when she threw the blanket off of me and opened my shutters to
the bright snowy day outside. What the hell is all this? What is the matter with you? Giving
Madeline your prized role, even for two days, could mean the end of your career. Once you give
her a shot at taking the lead she may end up keeping it. So get your ass out of bed. Now!
No! I shouted back.
Why not? Sitting down beside of me she took my handor rather, she forced it from me.
Are you sick? Have youoh godare you pregnant, Arianne?
I chuckled despite myself. And just who might I be pregnant by? As long as its been since
Ive fucked anyone, I would be nearly due if I were. Its not that, I assure you.
What is it then?
I was in tears as I told her. I said almost nothing about Luke, only that he saved me from
dying in a snow storm, and even then I didnt tell her his name. I paced furiously as I told her
why I could not go on, how the character of Ophelia on this day could drive me over the edge in
a very public breakdown. Even as I made her understand, even as she said that she would tell
Pierre and all would be fine, I lost understanding myself. I couldnt lie in my bed and let
Madeline have what she wanted, what I had worked my ass off to get. I sent Madame to Pierre
with a different message altogether. I would be there that evening in time to rehearse before I
went onstage. There was no need to put Madeline in. Madame seemed happy with this as she left
but I was not. I had to figure out something that would get me to the theater and keep me held
together long enough to play my part.
I was drinking a bottle of champagne when the answer came to me. Putting on a nice dress
and painting my face, I went into the freezing cold afternoon bound for the Comdie-Franaise. I
knew Etienne was probably busy but I also knew that this man who believed a life lived off a
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stage was no life at all would say something, do something, to get me to Pierres by the time the
curtain came up. So I barged in on a rehearsal despite being stopped outside twice and I was
happy to see Louis sitting in a chair in the audience watching Etienne work with an actress. You
need to get him off the stage for a minuet. I need to talk to him. It cant wait. I have people who
are coming to stand for two hours just to see us put on a show tonight and if he doesnt say
something profound, I may not be there.
Louiss eyes told me how bad I looked despite the makeup. What the hell is wrong with
you? You look like youve been crying into a bottle all day.
I have. And unless you want me to continue to do so until Monday, you need to get me
Etienne.
Cant I do something? He nearly pleaded, casting an uneasy eye toward the man in
question.
Today is the anniversary of my fathers death, the night that I met a man I love entirely
who cast me out of his damned house nearly a year ago, and I am supposed to play Ophelia on
the stage in four hours. Do you think you can do anything? I retorted.
He sighed knowing he had been defeated. Alright but hell be pissed.
I hope so. For once, thats what I need. I countered. And then I sat and waited watching
the exchange before me. He had taken Etienne aside and they were talking very quietly because I
couldnt hear a damned word of it. But when Louis walked over to the actress and Etienne
headed toward the stairs, I knew I would be alright. I wasnt looking to him to make things
better. I was looking to him to tell me I was being a damned fool.
Follow me, Ophelia! He shouted at me and I snuck a smile as I did just that.
We were silent as he led me through the theater and up three flights of stairs, opening a door
on the third floor and ushering me in. It was an apartment. Of course it was. Why wouldnt he
live at the theater as well? You are truly ridiculous. You live here? You are so obsessed with
this place that you actually live here?
Considering the circumstances, I do not think you have a right to call anyone ridiculous
right now. Louis told me what is going on
All of it? Damn him! I dont want to talk about why I am in this state. I dont want to talk
about that horrible night two years ago. I just want you to say something terrible to get me out of
this state so I can go out tonight. Yell, call me names, be cruel, damn it! Youre good at it. Come
on! I demanded.
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I am good at it but its a little hard to be cruel to someone who looks as if she might
crumble over one harsh word, especially someone who normally has no limit of harsh retorts of
her own.
You dont care about me, Etienne. You want to fuck me. It isnt the same thing so stop
looking at me like that! I have no patience for your pity right now. If I wanted that I would have
talked to Louis.
I dont love you. Thats true. You dont love me either. I am as incapable of love as you
are. My ability to do that died when I lost all that was good in myself and I have no desire to try
to revive it. But you dont have to love someone to care about them. I do care for you. Of course
I do. You could be the worlds greatest actress someday and I have the chance to help you
achieve that. Its not romantic, this reason, but neither of us need romance anymore. Its the
truth. And that is far more valuable than romantic lies. I can take away the pain for a little while,
long enough to make sure you get to Pierres on time. But you have to want me to take it away.
I didnt ask questions. I didnt care to know how he was going to accomplish this. As long as
he accomplished it, I would be grateful. I want you to do whatever you need to do to fix this. I
know its not your mess. You are not the one who broke me. But if you can fix this, do what you
need to do.
As a reply he kissed me. Again it was hard and needy and that was what I wanted. I
needed no bed of roses, no promises of a happy ending. As he said, this was truth and it was
more valuable even if it was ugly. When he guided me to the floor I was silent. The only man I
had been with besides Luke was a very poor substitute for what I had once felt but Etienne was
different. The only heat in our embrace burned with passion, not with love, but the man was an
incredible lover. His hair was dark brown where Lukes was black and his arms were human,
warm, not as hard as marble, but in the dusk that was falling over the world I could pretend that
he was the same man I had lost. It took only a few minuets before even that became unimportant.
The things he was doing to my body made me stop giving a damn who he was. All that mattered
was that he didnt stop.
The lavatory is through there. I have everything you need just short of perfumed oil for a
bath. Ill wait for you. And then well go to the theater together so I can shove you on the
damned stage if that is what it takes. He declared barely ten minuets after we had finished.
He had done it. I was at Pierres in time to go over lines in the dressing room and when I
came out Etienne was standing backstage despite the annoyance of Madeline who was again
trying to get his attention. He really intended to shove me on if I wouldnt go myself. But that
wasnt necessary. He had accomplished exactly what he said he would. He had dulled the pain.
He left as soon as the show was over. I actually watched him walk out as I was scanning the
crowd for Luke thinking that if ever there was a night when he would come it was this night. I
suppose I should have felt some loyalty to Etienne over the man (or beast) who had abandoned
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me even when he knew I would need him the most. And I would like to say I did. But that did
not happen. I felt nothing as Etienne walked out and my heart ached a little at the realization that
even on the anniversary of my fathers death, Luke could not be bothered to come and say hello.
The next morning I was awoken by lips on mine. I believed I was dreaming so I smiled and
whispered, Luke?
No. Its the man who bothers to be here. Will you open your legs already? Christ, you
sleep like the dead!
I smiled despite myself. Etiennes reply held no hint of jealousy over the fact that I had
called him by another mans name and the words themselves were only a product of his
annoyance over having to wake me up in a way other than the one he had planned. Yes, this
could work, I thought before all ability to think clearly left me.
I know beyond a doubt that you did not rehearse properly yesterday so when youre dressed
were going to Pierres. He says the stage is free until three so we have four hours. Etienne
explained from my bed where I found him dressed and smoking when I returned from the bath.
How the hell did you get in here? I asked.
Brigitte let me in. Why? Does it bother you? The sarcasm told me he didnt particularly
care if it did. I expected no less from him.
That she let you in? No. That she probably knows that were having sex? Perhaps. I
replied as I dressed.
She already knew. Louis told her. What? Did you forget those two practically live together
under this roof or did you think him daft enough to have not figured out how we spent three
hours yesterday afternoon in my apartment? Soon enough everyone will know, I assure you.
Does it matter? We are friends and we fuck. This is Paris. It isnt exactly the scandal of a
lifetime, you know.
Who said that?
Who said what?
That you and I are friends. I replied, tongue in cheek.
I turned my back only for a moment and already he was behind me, spinning me around by
the arm to face him. Trust me, Ophelia, you would much rather be my friend than my enemy.
Perhaps. I replied in a whisper as he crushed his lips to mine. I enjoyed his kiss only
briefly before I pushed him away. I may not like all of you but there are parts of you I like very
well and if you dont move away from me there will be no rehearsals today.
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It was only because he left me in peace that we got out of my apartment that day. I
attributed my intense lust for him to a few different factors. The first was his eerie resemblance
to the man I loved. The second was my need to fill the hole in my life that Lukes absence
created with something. The third? Well, that was simple enough. Etienne was as great in a bed
as I heard he once was on a stage. But it was the fact that I knew he wasnt lying when he said he
wouldnt love me that allowed me the freedom to make him more than just a onetime incident. I
could not have slept with him casually if I thought that I would someday break his heart as mine
had been broken. But with him I never had to fear that. The fact that Madeline was walking on
the other side of the street as he and I went out to meet the coach didnt even faze me. As he said
earlier, it was Paris. This wasnt a scandal, it certainly wasnt unheard of, and because I was now
more successful in our profession than Madeline I didnt have a thing to fear from her. Her glare
actually made me laugh.
I hope you know what you are doing sleeping with that man. Mademoiselle said as soon
as I walked in even though Etienne was right beside me.
I thought the stage was free until three? And how the hell did Madeline beat us here when
we took a cab? I questioned. Yes, my teacher might have simply guessed it since this was the
second day in a row that I had come to the theater with him but she sounded too certain to have
guessed.
She did not have to sit in traffic. By the way, did you see the new adverts on your way
here?
No. I replied simply.
Of course you didnt. Your hair looks suspicious. What were the two of you up to in that
coach? Suddenly she started cursing in Italian as if she forgot that I spoke it as well while she
led me behind the stage.
We did nothing in the coach and I know every word youve just said. I am fluent too,
remember? I spat out, now irritated with her because while I knew the words she had said I
wasnt sure what she meant by them. What dont I know? That is what you said, isnt it? She
doesnt know about him? What dont I know?
Do you know why he left the stage? Do you know what happened? She demanded in a
whisper.
No and unless he killed someone brutally I dont care to know. It isnt like that, our
acquaintance. We are something like friends and we have had sex twice. We may continue
having sex. Or we may not. I have other things on my mind to worry about. I tried to walk away
but again she caught my arm and the look in her eye made me stay where I was.
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I will not tell you the story because I am too fond of the little bastard to do that to him. But
I will tell you this. If you are expecting love, if you are saying it doesnt matter to you when your
heart is saying it does, you need to leave all of this alone immediately. He will not make you
happy. He cant. Is that understood? Patting my cheek gently, she smiled. I dont want you
hurt. I just dont want your heart to be broken.
It is broken already. Thats why I am safe with Etienne. Now, what about these adverts?
When she showed it to me it was as if she had driven a knife straight into me. Under my
name was the nickname of my youth, the nickname my father gave me, just as he once promised.
I said nothing as I grabbed the small paper from her hand and I sought refuge in the closet sized
space filled with clothes just as I always did. I had it pressed against my chest and I was weeping
all the tears I thought I had gotten rid of the day before. What the hell is the matter with you?
We are supposed to be rehearsing, not running into the wardrobe to wail so loudly its
resounding through the theater! Etienne demanded as he stood over me. All I could do was hand
him the paper. I dont understand what the problem is. Do you not like the stage name? You
cannot be that dramatic even if you are an actress! He spat out.
Standing up, I caught my breath as I wiped my eyes. Of course you dont understand. You
know nothing of who I used to be and that is one thing you have in your favor.
Was this what he called you? Were you foolish enough to give Pierre your old flames pet
name for you when he asked for something? Etienne questioned in disgust.
No and you and I are not doing this! We are not sharing stories and learning one anothers
histories. If we were, I would question you about why you gave up acting since its something
everyone thinks I should know but me! Do you want to tell me that story? I countered.
Point taken. Get yourself together and meet me on the stage in less than five minuets or Im
leaving.
His cold temper, the one I had wanted when I sought him out the day before, did what I had
wanted it to do then. It quelled the hurt in me. I was fine when I came out to rehearse (I waited
ten minuets just to see if he truly would go and he was walking out as I came in) and I did well in
the show. I was fine on and off the stage for the rest of the month until the last day of the year
came bringing with it memories of a beautiful ball and the worst heartbreak dealt to me by
another living soul. I did not seek out the man whose body got me through the last hard day that
came. He could not fix this. It was closing night for Hamlet and I could not miss the performance
so there was no temptation to do so. Brigitte was already mopping around the apartment over a
spat she had with Louis so there was no sense in staying in bed all day. So I did the only rational
thing I could do. I grabbed two of the bottles of liquor we had in the apartment and I caught a cab
down to Les Innocents cemetery, I found a handsome looking grave, and I spent hours drinking
and thinking about what I had had a year before.
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I suppose I wanted to convince myself that Luke was right in sending me away to live my life.
I had certainly done everything he once wanted me to do, even finding a man to fill my bed if not
my heart. I had come far in the last year, farther, in fact, than I ever dreamed I would. But I knew
even at that moment that I would have given every bit of it up to have had the life with Luke that
I dreamed of having once. And that was the part he never understood when he made his plan for
me the year before.

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Chapter 6
Closing night was a success, the party that my friends had at our apartment afterward was a
success, and I was the great actress throughout all of this, never showing the pain I had carried in
my heart all day. Etienne made an appearance at the party with the lead actress from the theater
on his arm. I dont know if he was attempting to make me jealous but if that was his intention, he
failed. Even when he left with her I wasnt bothered by it. He was free to do as he pleased and so
was I. Besides, I didnt want anyone in my bed on that night. Luke was too strong on my mind,
he was flowing in my veins, and I needed solitude to put that beast to rest. I was given a week off
from Pierres after Hamlet closed and I spent the first three days of it drinking and working at
Madames. I wanted to be alone yet I could only stand so much of the solitude. Something was
brewing between Brigitte and Louis that hung over our apartment like a dark cloud so I couldnt
get comfort from my friend. And I didnt want to talk about the things on my mind. Not really.
So being with Madame and her noisy patrons was the best thing for me.
Do you ever stay home anymore? Ive tried for two damned days to get a hold of you!
Etienne barked out as soon as he walked into the tavern. It was barely noon and everyone had
come in for their midday drink. Have you heard about Louiss wife?
No. I live with his mistress. Talk of his wife isnt encouraged in my corner of the world. I
replied with cold indifference.
Have you not noticed that he hasnt been around?
Have you noticed that this girl is busy? If you want to spread the gossip of the world, take it
in the back! Madame declared, taking the glass from my hand and shoving me away.
He has been around. He just hasnt been around as much. What the hell is going on? How
does any of this concern me, Etienne? I barked out.
He wont be around at all after last night. He told Brigitte that they have to cut off their
fling. His wife is very ill, probably dying, though I cannot get an answer from him or anyone else
concerning the nature of her illness. However, I have been told that whatever she has is highly
contagious. Now our little martyr is determined to stay by her bedside, no doubt to do penance
for the fact that hes spent all of their married life with whores. If he goes through with this, he
will catch what she has and he will die. Louis cannot die. His only heir is practically an infant.
God knows what will happen to the theater. A civil war could break out as soon as his dear
grand-pre drops dead, which could happen at any timeand a civil war will be as bad for our
business as having our great theater in the hands of a baby! When I only stood there trying to
remember why I let this bastard touch me, he shouted, Well?
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Well, what? You are truly a bastard, you know? Here you are talking about the possible
death of our good friend, your only real friend so far as I know, in terms of what it will do to the
theater. That is the most despicable thing I have ever heard and I once lived with a murderer.
Besides that, what the hell do you think I can do to change his mind on this? I cannot write him
when I share an address with his girlfriend. I cannot very well march into Versailles if that is
where he is spending his time and demand to speak with him. If you could not get through to him
and Brigitte could not get through to him it seems as if my hands are tied on all of this. I spat
out.
I wasnt asking you to do anything about Louis. As if you could. My, you think highly of
yourself. I told you all of that so you would know what is going on when you come along with
me to rehearse. You see, yesterday when our friend announced that he was taking a break from
the theater to do this completely stupid thing he named you the new understudy to the lead
actress, Dominique, and he gave you a part in the new comedy opening two weeks from
Tuesday. Its a rather large step up from a tree. You are the second now, at least as long as this
goes well. But there is already the shadow of death hanging over everyone so I thought I should
explain why before you came along. Now that you are the understudy of Dominique I will be
working with you on a more official basis. That means that by the end of rehearsal you may
think even less of me than you do already. He was pissed. Everything in his demeanor told me
as much. It was a rare occasion when I was able to strike a nerve with Etienne and under
different circumstances, I might have enjoyed it. On this day, however, I simply walked out front
to grab my cape and I got into the coach without a word.
Mademoiselle was already at the Comdie-Franaise when we arrived. Etienne had said
nothing to me on the ride over and I was ushered away by my teacher to look over my lines as
soon as we walked into the theater. I could hear Etienne shouting at the lead actress, a girl who
was tough on the outside but who was prone to crying at the slightest raised voice from her
teacher. Sure enough, less than a half an hour passed before she fled by us in tears and Etienne
followed only as far as where we stood. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was tapping
his boot against the floor in an irritating fashion as I read aloud my few lines from the first scene.
When I had finished I looked up at him and asked in a biting tone, Should I go apologize to that
poor woman for turning you into a bigger prick than usual today? You could have at least had the
decency to wait until you could take it out on me. Shes done nothing to you. It was I who
irritated you with the truth!
He took three steps toward me and I had to move in front of Mademoiselle because she
blocked the path between us as if she were afraid of what he might do. Yes, old woman, step in
to protect this whore. Do you know what she said to me? She accused me of not giving a damn
about Louis. And why did she do this?
Because you talked of his death as if it were nothing compared with the loss of your
position. You will not speak to her with disrespect! It is true that you probably have the strength
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to break me in half but unlike those who fear you, I will at least give you a run for your money.
Call me a whore once more and you will find that my ability to spread those thighs you love to
get between has suddenly fled me. I am not working with you today. I refuse to. I have had a
dreadful week and I will not top it off by being reminded once more about how horrible my
abilities to find a decent man to warm my bed truly are. Thats what you are right now. You are
not my teacher, you are not my friend. You are simply one of my many mistakes. So I suggest
you get out of my face until you can behave like a grown man and teach me something
pertaining to the stage!
I kissed the cheek of the older woman who looked shocked by my words, I folded up the
script in my hand, and I grabbed my cloak. Etienne was shouting at me as I made my way out of
the theater but I didnt give a damn. This was going to be the most important performance of my
career so far, my first speaking part at the famous Comdie-Franaise, and I had but two weeks
to prepare for it. I had no time to waste on the temper tantrums of Etienne Baptiste. There were a
couple of hours of daylight left and I feared the bastard might find me if I went to Madames. So
I went instead to the cemetery that I was growing to love despite the open mass graves all over
the place. I found the handsome grave I had spent the day with a few days before, and I sat in the
snow reading the script, getting the feel of Nell, the foolish girl who no one heard when she did
have her important moments of clarity. I even managed to laugh once or twice. Nell and her
sister Margarita were quite the pair indeed. Margarita was the lead, older and smarter but not by
much. The two fools seemed to blunder through everything only by the grace of God because
when it came to common sense, they had none. I was nearly finished with the script when
someone threw a clump of snow that hit me in the face. You fucking buffoon! I shouted as I
jumped up. I was ready for a fight assuming it was some local boy messing around. Instead I
found the man I had no interest in seeing smirking before me.
You are truly a stupid creature. Three women have been murdered in this place since
Christmas and here you sit as if you are in a quiet caf. If you want someone to take your life,
after the things you said to me today, I would be happy to do the job. Etienne barked out, sitting
next to me as if I wanted nothing more than his company.
You havent the guts required to take my life. And it doesnt look as if youre over your
tantrum so I have no desire to be around you. Go or Im leaving. I dont even want to know how
you found me
Apparently you wanted me to find you. Why else would you have my loyal driver bring
you here? So what? Are you now such a great actress that you dont even need a teacher? Who
do you think you are to walk out on a rehearsal with us like that? I should take your role for
that! He was just short of sounding serious.
You dont have the authority to take my role. I replied simply.
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Oh, yes I do. I must have forgotten to mention the rest of what Louis said before he left us
yesterday. I am now in charge of all roles, all actors. I say who goes on the stage and what they
go on as. I could fire you if I saw fit. The only reason I am not doing just that is because I also
acted like a child today. I did something I never do. I let my personal feelings interfere with my
work. I am many things but I am not a hypocrite. If I fired you for your behavior I would have to
relieve myself of my duties as well and I rather like my job. If it happens again? Even Pierre
wont put you on a stage. That is a promise. Now, I am cold and this muddy snow is ruining my
expensive trousers. You need to follow me out of here.
I will not
He elbowed me so hard in the stomach that it took my breath away and he used his eyes to
gesture across from us. There were two dirty men standing in one place looking at us,
specifically at me, in a way that made me colder than the bitter wind. Without another word, I
stood up and he walked behind me with his left hand in his coat pocket. When we reached the
coach I turned toward him and I appeared to kiss him but in reality I was sticking my hand in his
pocket to see what he had there. The cold feel of a small pistol was what I touched and I smiled
as I got in.
The driver took us back toward the theater but I said nothing as we rode. I had not
completely forgiven Etienne for the things he had said. I could put it all aside to work with him
because doing so was necessary but that did not mean that I had to chat with him as if we were
best friends. When I walked into the theater it was business as usual. Dominique, the lead
actress, had apparently gone home for the day so I was alone with my teachers instructing me on
both roles. For five exhausting hours we did this until Mademoiselle declared it late and she
began to pack up her ancient case of scripts and notes for the night. I was going to leave as well,
seeing no need to remain now that rehearsal was over but Etienne cornered me as I was saying
goodbye to Mademoiselle and gathering up my cape. Do you suppose you could stay just a little
while? We need to talk about something.
We dont talk. I replied simply. He only glared at me and I knew I was beaten. So I laid
my cape down and I sat on the stage waiting until we were alone. When he started toward the
exit I laughed at him. No, my friend. We can talk right here. There is no reason to go to your
apartment. This whore has a headache tonight. Im sorry.
Why are you so fucking impossible? I am trying to apologize, something I do not take
lightly. I had no right to call you a whore. I had no right to treat you like that when you were
only responding to what looked like cold indifference toward our friend. It wasnt that. Not at all.
I love Louis as a brother. I am angry with him and his twisted morality. Having whores is not a
crime punishable by death as far as I can see. He doesnt have to do this! He has many great
years ahead of him. He is supposed to be our king, damn it, and a fine one he would make! What
he is doing is suicide and I put more thought into what I would have to eat this morning than he
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is putting into his choice to die. I fought a losing battle of words with him these last three days
and the cost of me losing will be his life. That is a heavy burden. I am angry with him but now he
has shut himself away with his dying wife and he wont see me so I cannot shout at him. That
left only you. I am sorry. Lets forget about today altogether
Including this? I asked. My voice had certainly changed. I was aching for my three dear
friends. One would lose his best friend, one would lose her love, and the third would lose his life.
Just like Etienne I was powerless to stop this. I could hope that Louis would come through this
thing unharmed but if his wife was really as contagious as people said
Especially this. He replied, sitting beside of me at last. For a while we simply looked out
at the theater. Someone had lit the candles around the auditorium and even some of the stage
candles had been brought to life by an unknown flame. It was funny that I had been so lost in my
work that I hadnt noticed this as it happened. You did very well this evening. As long as the
crowd doesnt frighten you in the scene you have on your own, you will be a success in this
strange little show. At times you reminded me so much of Madeline as you became Nell that I
wanted to rake my nails across your face. Thats a compliment. It isnt easy for Ophelia to
become a fool. You have that depth and that depth is essential to acting. Would you like to go to
the caf with me and have some dinner?
No. I am really very tired and I need to look in on Brigitte. Shes been a mess for days and
now that I know the extent of the trouble, now that hes called things off, I can only imagine
shes worse tonight.
May I come along? Ill buy us all some food and some wine and I wont stay the night. I
wouldnt want to break all of our rules in one day. He assured me with a laugh. He was so
unlike himself in that moment that I couldnt tell him no.
Brigitte was indeed a mess when we came back to my apartment. Elise and Isabelle had
gone out to work that night leaving our friend to grieve alone in the dark and I was startled when
I lit the lamps and found her with a bottle of wine in one hand and a pair of sharpened sheers in
the other. What would she have done if we had gone to dinner, if we had stayed out half the
night, instead of coming in when we did? I had no idea and it chilled my blood to think of it. It
was Etienne who held her, Etienne who soothed her with soft spoken lies about how Louis would
be just fine and he would return to her as soon as his wife was dead and cold, and it was in her
bed that Etienne slept that night. I woke up to the light of early morning shining in my eyes and
Etiennes breath, a combination of whiskey and tobacco, on my face. It isnt what you must
think. Brigitte and me, I mean. I did not touch her in that way. I only held her until she fell
asleep. Believe me, I took no pleasure in it, no more than I took in the lies that I told her. But
shes a sweet girl and Louis would not want this to destroy her.
I looked at him and I knew that he was being honest. That bothered me far more than the
alternative. If he had fucked her I would have known that things were not changing for him.
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Between the apology and the fact that he needed my company the night before this was starting
to feel too much like a relationship. I would cut off everything between us before I let things
come to that. Its not my concern. Bed her if you like, dont if its not to your liking, but dont
explain yourself to me. The three of us are losing someone, Etienne. We can get through this
together. But we cannot do that if you start giving explanations I never asked for as if I was your
love instead of being only a lover. I kissed him because there was a look of vulnerability in his
eyes that alarmed me. It was good of you to be there for her. Thank you. You are good under it
all and I adore you as my friend. Laying my forehead against his, I pleaded in a whisper, Dont
make me give up my friend. Not now. Dont make me give up all of you.
That feeling of desperation hung over all of us as the weeks passed. By the time Louiss wife
died we knew that it was Measles that had gotten her. The palace was completely tight lipped on
everything that was happening but the staff of the king told all when they came into the city. We
also knew that before he buried his wife, the tale-tell rash had already started on our beloved
Louis. In the last weeks of his life he wrote us as if all was well. It was like he had forgotten once
he was again sequestered behind palace walls the way that gossip spread in Paris. We knew that
his children had been taken away to the country as soon as he came down with the illness to
preserve the life of his heir. We knew that by spring our beloved prince would be dead. Everyone
loved him. He was ours. He spent more time at the theater than he ever spent on official business
in Versailles. The most common of the people in the city had shared a drink with him at least
once. He was our prince and the closer he came to death, the thicker the black cloud of sorrow
grew over the usually lively city.
Throughout all of this our troupe had to work on a comedy. Anyone who could attend came
out over and over again to see it, apparently attempting to escape the depression of the place
around us with two hours of our funny little tale. And when at last our beloved Louis succumbed
to his illness, Etienne and I were at his beloved theater preparing for another show in the last role
he ever gave me. I had just written him two days earlier telling him what he needed to hear, no
longer willing to play pretend and act as if I believed all was well. I had told him that we would
always think of him, that he would be missed by all of France, and that I hoped when the time
came that he found the most amazing peace because he deserved that. The show that night was
cancelled and Etienne and I rushed to my apartment, to our dear Brigitte, only to find her in a
proper rage. That bastardthat bastardthat bastard She was shouting this as if it were a
chant and nothing we said, nothing we did, would make her stop. Finally Etienne went out and
when he returned an old man was with him. The man did not speak but he didnt hesitate to give
her something that made her go to sleep almost instantly. I felt as if I were in some strange dream
with all of this. It was like the entire country had gone mad and all that was proper when I woke
up that morning was no longer relevant because we were all in survival mode and one had to do
whatever one could to make it through the night.
Because our theater was in the hands of the royal family we were not allowed to reopen until
the king said so. It was during this time that I was finally told that my position at Pierres had
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been terminated when I was given the more important role at the Comdie-Franaise. Etienne
and I had one hell of a row over that but in the end we both accepted our temporary boredom and
we prepared ourselves for the fact that when a funeral was held for our beloved friend, none of
us would be able to attend. Brigitte was our main focus during that long and bitterly cold week.
She hadnt recovered from the news at all. Every day was a silent extension of her crazy chant
the first night when we came in. Etienne helped as much as he could but it did nothing to make
things better. For six days she said absolutely nothing, she ate nothing, she refused to get out of
bed at all. And then an official letter came from a courier of the king. I was asleep, passed out
from drinking the night before, and I never heard the knock. But she did and she answered the
door and then she took it upon herself to read the letter from the king himself that had my name
scrolled out on the envelope.
I woke up in the early hours of another wasted afternoon and when I found her sitting on the
sofa I was happy. She was up out of bed at least. But the joy was rather brief. All of my years
on the street and I never fell in love. Not once did I give any man more than he paid for. I said
that any whore who did was nothing short of idiotic. And then I met Louis. I knew that he and I
could not have the whole life that I wanted but he loved me as I loved him and he gave me all
that he had to give. Now that he isgone I will not be remembered as someone he loved. My
name will never appear in books beside of his. I knew that, I suppose, when I let myself love
him. What I never expected was that the same family who will shun me to the world despite the
love I shared with Louis has now written you personally to ask you to play the part of Ophelia in
a special production of Hamlet that will be shown in Louiss honor. I love him, I gave him all
that was human inside my soul Standing up, she literally slapped me in the face with the
letter she held. And his grandfather writes you? Says Louis told him that you were amazing,
that you would one day be the best actress to come from the Comdie-Franaise, and because of
that, you are the only actress that the king wants on that stage to play in his grandsons favorite
show. So what was really between the two of you? Nows a good time to tell me the fucking
truth!
Brigitte, I know what it is to wake up and to know that you will not see the man you love
again. I know a great deal about being left behind. So I am not going to stand here and argue
with you when I know you dont mean any of this. Louis and I were friends. We shared a love
for that damned stage and we shared a love for Hamlet and the mad Ophelia. She was the voice
of our loss. There was never anything more than that on his end. But for me? He changed my
life. He gave me a chance on the greatest stage in Paris. I owe him for that. He has changed
everything for me, given me the greatest teacher in Europe, and he gave me my confidence. I am
sorry, so sorry, if the letter in your hands has wounded you. But I will not deny the kings request
to do this last thing for my friend. If he wanted me to be Ophelia for him one last time, I will be
Ophelia for him. He gave me everything I will ever have in this world of actors, lines, and lights.
This is the least I can give him in return.
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I tried to kiss her on the cheek but she simply threw the parchment down, stepped on it with
her naked heel, and walked out of the room altogether. I wanted to stay there with her, to try to
talk to her until I was sure that she knew I spoke the truth, but I couldnt. I had no time. I had to
go to the theater and find Etienne. I assumed he had received a similar letter and I knew he
would be in a frenzy. We only had three days to get all of this together, to put on the best
performance of Hamlet in living memory. Everyone would be in the audience including the king
himself and dignitaries from all over Europe. There was so much to do that I could not stay there
with Brigitte and try to make her see reason. I told her I loved her before I left and in return she
threw what sounded like a bottle against her closed bedchamber door, the shattering glass
standing alone as her reply.
The entire theater was alive with noise and nervous energy when I arrived. People were
scurrying through the halls and I could hear Etienne shouting inside the auditorium despite the
heavy doors being shut between the hall and that great room. Hes in a right fit today, Miss. A
young Englishman announced as I approached the double doors. I dont see how he has any
voice left at all. Hes been shouting like that since early morning!
I thanked the boy for the warning as I proceeded inside. Its about fucking time youve
shown up! I was about to send a gang of tough men to fetch you if you didnt come in the next
thirty minuets. Someone needed to slap you around for not showing and I simply dont have the
time! So, Ophelia, do you know?
About the play? Yes. Why else would I be here? I just got the letter, a letter, by the way,
that has made my roommate despise me.
Thats a pity, a real shame, and I wish we had time to talk more about it butoh, speaking
of roommates and best friends and all thatmy best friend has honestly coined a way to be a
bastard from beyond the grave. I knew he had talents but this is simply showing off!
I laughed at this dramatic speech as he shouted orders to a boy in the wings concerning
lighting. Oh come now. I know its a lot to make ready in three days but I already know my part
well. I assume others in the cast have played in a production of Hamlet at least once. It wont be
as bad as all that.
What? He asked, finally spinning around and giving me all of his attention. One show?
Oh no, Ophelia, hes done so much better than that! Go over to the stage, right up front there
sitting dangerously close to the candles because I thought of setting this place on fire for a while.
Go grab that paper and read my letter. Its from Louis himself, that one. It came along with his
grandfathers blessing. Was yours from Louis? I shook my head no. Figures! Go read it. And
you might want to do that sitting down because it might be the last time you are off your feet for
a while except to sleep. Go see what hes done!
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I had to assume that this had something to do with the theater and the thought crossed my
mind that the place was probably being closed up or sold altogether since the king was too old to
run it by his own logic and Louiss heir was much too young. Instead what I found was Louiss
final letter to Etienne leaving him in charge of the entire running of the Comdie-Franaise. The
actors, the shows, the budget, the wardrobeabsolutely everything would have to be approved
by Etienne Baptiste. He now had the control that Louis had had most of his life over the theater
they both loved and he would retain that control until his death or until Louiss son was old
enough to take it over himself. If he forfeited this duty to his country the theater would be sold
at once and would not be allowed to reopen as a theater at all. Louis had put in this last bit to
make sure that Etienne did what he wanted him to do. Etienne wanted no part of running the
place but he would never stand back and watch it be turned into a tavern or allow it to be torn
down altogether. So he would take on all of this responsibility no matter how miserable it made
him.
Now, tell me, what the hell am I supposed to do? I do not manage places. I do not bother
with the business end of this! I shape actresses into legends and I am damned good at it. Since I
left acting that is the only thing I am good at! And now he has gone and destroyed that last love
in my heart! That bastard indeed! This will be a real treat when you travel abroad one day. All of
the shit I will have to go through to come alongoh, that spoiled little bastard!
In all of this he never stopped directing people. It seemed he was already taking on his role,
changing things with the set and the lighting that had always bothered him. Working was how he
cleared his head of rage when he needed to think. I knew that. And I would not have been
surprised to come in the next day and find that only the theaters location was recognizable with
the state he was in. There are a few people I fired on the spot. They have been stealing from this
theater since Louis and I were boys but he was partial to them because they were once good
friends to his father. I have no such soft spots. But because they manage the business, the
paychecks and such, I need to hire replacements immediately. I need your help, Ophelia. I can
handle the annoying men in expensive clothes coming to write our checks but I need someone
working with the actors. You know this play well, very well. The lead actor has never played
Hamlet. For just a few hours I need you to use that versatility that Louis and I My eyes shot
up when he literally stomped his foot on the floor and shouted, Everyone out of here now!
When there was quiet around us at last, he came and he sat beside of me. When he took my
hand he squeezed it so hard that I heard my bones crack under the pressure but I said nothing.
There was a war going on inside of him and all I could do was sit there and watch the bullets fly
in his black eyes. Do you remember the morning when you begged me not to complicate what
we have, when you begged me not to make you give me up? You said that I am your friend and
you need your friend. Am I still that friend, Ophelia?
Of course you are. I replied honestly. Truth be told, in the weeks of hell we had gone
through together, he had become my dearest friend.
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As it happens, I had but two dear friends in the entire world and now one is lying in state
awaiting his grand burial. So I need you, the only friend I have left, to help me through this. Not
just the theater bullshit our Louis has left me with but the fact that I cannot talk about him as if
he isnt coming back. I need you. Will you be there to hold me up when it finally sinks in that
my Louis is dead? Even though you do not love me, do you care enough to promise me that?
Yes, Etienne. Absolutely. Anything you need from me to get through all of this, I love
youyes, love youenough as my best friend to do it. Anything at all.
He nodded and when he sighed it sounded as if he were unloading a great weight from his
very soul. Thank you. He paused, wiped his hands hard over his face, and went on.
Alrightnow, the versatility that Louis and I recognize in you? I need you to use it today to
work with our Hamlet. Like I said, hes never taken on the role before. This place was never one
for doing tragedy, you know. Thats going to change soon. Just as Louis planned, were going to
work on tragedy more. Damn itIve gotten off the subject
Hamlet. Yes, I will work with Guillaume. I will work with him until one of us drops if it
takes that but he will be the best damned Hamlet that has ever graced this stage. I swear it.
And that is exactly what we did. We worked around the clock, Etienne and I. We took shifts
sleeping in his apartment and we crammed lines down the throats of every actor in the play. As it
turned out, with the exception of the girl now playing the queen (Dominique, the lead of the
troupe who would have hated me under different circumstances) no one had ever played a
character from Hamlet before. They were primarily actors of comedy. It was rare before Louiss
death that tragedy ever graced the stage of the Comdie-Franaise and all of the people who had
important jobs there had gotten them because of their previous work in comedy on other stages.
Just as Louis had once told me, he was looking for a shift in direction when he hired me because
of my gift for tragedy. Even though the rest of the troupe had more experience than I had in
general, by the night of the great show I was the one who felt as if I were the seasoned actress
who had played for the king of France one hundred times before. It was probably good that I
suddenly had all of this confidence. If I had been more myself there is no way in hell I could
have gone on and done well enough to even be considered poor.
Etienne had personally invited Brigitte to come to the show. He had reserved a seat for her
in the front center of the audience just a row behind Louiss grandfather. I had even gone home
that day to check on her and she assured me that everything she said the day I got the letter was
nonsense coming from her pain. She assured me she would come, that she was grateful to
Etienne for doing this even though he believed that the king knew who she was and he could
become furious over the invitation. When I left we had but two hours until show time and she
was already getting dressed. It felt as I rode back that everything was temporarily patched up
enough to keep us all together as we did our permanent mending in the weeks and months to
come. But I couldnt shake the feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was about to
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happen, a storm that would again tear at the foundations of the shaky house of cards that Etienne
and I had worked so hard to build up in three short days.
The king himself came backstage to speak to me before the curtain opened for the night. I
was shaking as we talked, I forgot the proper etiquette (bowing instead of curtseying and calling
him monsieur instead of his rightful title) but he didnt seem offended by any of it. In fact, he
seemed to understand. Everything had already taken on the feeling of a dream by the time he
walked away. It was like there was no way for me to fuck this up because it wasnt really
happening anyway. Louis wasnt dead, Brigitte wasnt going mad, and I certainly was not about
to take the stage in a lead role that Louis said I could work years to earn. Wrapped in that bubble
of unreality, I went out when the time came and I found that it was easy to slip completely into
my old role again. Maybe I was standing closer to the edge of madness than I had the last time I
played the part. Perhaps I was more Ophelia in reality than I had been just two months before.
Whatever it was, I lost all sense of my surroundings and of myself. There was no dead prince, no
aging king, no mad prostitute, but there was Shakespeares world and it was rather close to this
dream that I had slipped right into.
I cannot believe what I just witnessed, Ophelia! I cannot believe this. Etienne announced
backstage as he kissed me deeply.
What? What did you just witness? I asked with a laugh.
I just watched a lead actress be born upon the stage. Never would I have guessed that birth
could be so beautiful. He replied.
I just smiled at him, not putting much on anything he said at the moment. Where is
Brigitte? You didnt let her leave without seeing me first, did you?
That feeling of dread I had earlier was back with a vengeance filling up the pit of my
stomach until I was sick with it and it only got worse when he replied, She never came. I held
the damned seat for her all the way through but she never showed up. How is that for gratitude?
She never came? Clutching my stomach hard, I didnt bother to change as I grabbed my
cape. Oh god, Etienne. Somethings wrong. I can feel itwe have to go. We have to go home.
She should have been here. She was getting ready to come here
Shes fine, Ophelia! Breathe, damn it! She changed her mind. Thats all it was. Shes
But I was already rushing out, using a back exit through the dressing areas that few ever
used in order to avoid the massive crowds of people still milling around inside. I was flagging
down a cab with a driver who looked as drunk as Madames Saturday night patrons when
Etienne caught me by the arm and ushered me into his own coach. All the way to my apartment
he berated me, telling me that he had just ran out on the king for no good reason at all, but I
wasnt paying attention to him. It wasnt the fact that she didnt come that had alarmed me so.
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That was easy enough to explain. It was the feeling that I couldnt shake. Apparently some part
of Etienne could conceive of me being right because he insisted on walking in the apartment
ahead of me and when he hissed, Get the hell out! I knew that I was right. I did not turn and
run. No, not at all. I walked forward to see him attempting to cut Brigitte down from the heavy
chandelier where she hung with her mouth wide open and her dead eyes rolled back in her head.
He told me later that I screamed as I snatched her body away from him and held her against me. I
checked for a beating heart, a shallow breath, but she was dead. Hell, her skin was already cold.
And she was only half dressed as if she had made herself a noose from her bed sheets and
slipped it around her neck as soon as I left earlier. I was barely conscious of him leaving the
room. Let Etienne do as he pleased, I thought, because this was one friend I was going to say
goodbye to.
I dont remember anything I said to her. I just remember feeling so guilty, so full of shame. I
remember berating myself, telling myself that I should have forced her to come along with me.
Soon men came and they were taking her away and I listened as Etienne said something to
someone about a proper burial and summoning the king if he needed toit was only later when
some of my mind had returned to me that I put together what he was talking about. Of course.
The fucking noose was still sitting beside of us when they picked up her body, the marks were
clear on her throat, and there was no way to hide that this was suicide. If you commit suicide you
dont get a Christian burial in a marked grave Etienne, what is happening to us? In less than a
year we all came together and now were being ripped apart stitch by miserable stich. Is this
what you meant the day you said I would come to be like you if I stayed on the stage? Is this
what the theater does? I was talking nonsense but he didnt seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to
understand the strange things I said as we sat side by side on the floor waiting for some sign on
what to do next.
We cant blame the stage directly for all of this. The theater did not force my idiot friend to
give his life up as penance for a few years of infidelity and it did not make your idiot friend wrap
a noose around her neck because her idiotic lover died. No, the stage didnt do this. But certainly
if we were not the sort of people we are because of what we are we would have sense enough to
pick better friends.
When we laughed there was no joy in it. Our laughter, like everything else, was full of the
mad desperation that had been hanging over us in a thick cloud since the year began. So what
are we to do? Do we sit here and wait on Elise and Isabelle? I feel like there is something to do.
There is supposed to be something one must do for days following such a death. Yet I can think
of nothing but sitting right here.
He sighed but he said nothing as he stood and offered me his hand to help me to my feet. I
had no idea where he was taking me and, to be honest, I didnt care. If he had any plan it was
better than the blank that I was drawing. I followed him into the freezing night air. It was
snowing and though I couldnt remember if it had been snowing when I went to the theater, I
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watched the flakes fly in their furious dance as if I had never seen such a thing before in my life.
It reminded me of the night my father died, the night that I ran away from home in a snow storm
that should have killed me. And because I was in the depths of despair, I found myself telling
Etienne the whole story. I told him about the complete madness that swept over me as my father
lay dead in the room with me, of the feeling that I had to get out of there even if it meant I was
walking straight into my own death in the process.
That was insanity, wasnt it? What person in her right mind would ever do what I did that
night? Between you and me there are moments where I find myself wondering if that insanity
ever left me, I mean really left me. There is a difference in banishing something and just hiding
it, isnt there? I dont think I banished it at all. I think I am simply pretending that it doesnt exist
anymore. Perhaps I have it all wrong. Maybe the reason that every moment since that night has
felt like something from a story is because I am dead. Maybe all of this has been made up by me
to overcome the absence of life in the grave.
He had his driver simply going around the city and when I said this crazy thing he called up
and directed him toward the outskirts of the city, to roads I had not traveled since the night I
came in to Paris. Again, I had no idea what he was up to but I still didnt care. If he wanted us to
freeze to death in the back of the cold coach, that was a fine idea with me. Anything but sitting
on my apartment floor wondering what the hell was happening to my threads of reality. I am
going to tell you a story that you are never to repeat to another living soul, do you understand
me? If you got angry with me or something and you told this to anyone I would kill you with my
bare hands. So you are not to breathe a word of it!
I smiled despite myself. You are so damned dramatic! Yes, fine, Ill tell no one. You are
the dearest friend I have. Who would I tell?
I may be your dearest friend but I am not your only friend. Again there was that heavy
sigh of his, the sign that something was weighing on his mind. I sat back against the velvet soft
seat and I put my hands in his under the blanket he kept in the carriage during the winter so my
hands would warm up as I waited for him to speak. The last time I was cast in a play it wasoh
hell, Im not in a theater. I can say it. It was Macbeth. Yours truly was playing Macbeth of
course. I had been playing the role here in Paris for two months but we were told that we were
taking the whole thing on a tour of Europe. Something happened just before I took on the role
that left me deeply disturbed and I simply couldnt shake this feeling that my mind was slowly
cracking and eventually it was going to break. But I said nothing about this because there was
nothing really to say. I left with the troupe and we made our way to Venice, Italy. What a
breathtaking place, Venice. I had been there before and I loved it very much each time but this
time something was different, something was wrong. My mood was off. I was deeply depressed
but sometimes I would have this burst of deep joy. When the depression would come againand
it always came againit would leave me in such despair. But I hid all of this the best I could.
Until the night that ended my career.
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I dont even remember itnot in a sane, rational way. We were in Venice, we took a
gondola to this theater that always requested us when we were in town, and I was backstage
thinking that I couldnt do this anymore. I could not go on one more fucking stage in front of one
more crowd of total buffoons who couldnt even see the obvious beauty in something like
Macbeth. I kept thinking that I wanted out. I wanted to be away from the theater. When I went
out all was fine through the first act but in the second act things began to change inside of my
mind. I was losing touch with what was real and what was recited lines and makeup. Suddenly I
was no longer playing Macbeth, I was Macbeth. Its hard to explain it, this break in the line
between fact and fantasy that occurred all at once. It ended with me destroying the set and trying
to stab a young boy with a stage prop. I was taken at once to this mad physician who did horrible
things to me, despicable things, until Louis came at last to free me from that bastards prison. He
took me home and he found me a real doctor, a Frenchman who experiments with treatments for
melancholia and things like that. The man makes me a tincture once a month even now. If I
stopped taking it, it would only be a matter of time before I repeated that wretched night in
Venice only this time Louis isnt here to rescue me.
What was the thing that happened that disturbed you before you left? I asked. I couldnt
understand why he had skimped on this detail after telling me a story he never shared with
anyone.
For a moment he was silent even as he squeezed my hand. I was in a dark room with a
whore at my side and I had a vision so real that I truly believed I was seeing it with my own
eyes. It was a devilish thing that came to me, though it looked nothing like the devil as we know
him. The whole thing ended when sanity returned to me and I found myself above the girl ready
to wrap my hands around her throat. Nothing happened. There was no harm done. But I realized
that night that my mind was a broken thing that would not stay together much longer.
Tis a shame that I cannot love you, Etienne. We make quite a broken pair, you and I. I said
softly and I meant it. This was the sort of man I should have spent the rest of my life with.
It is because we have that in common that it is best you love someone else. If you and I
loved one another we would soon destroy each other. As friends we can support one another, as
lovers we can satisfy one another, but as a couple we would burn each other up until there was
nothing left but ashes. We both drifted into our thoughts for a while, looking out opposite sides
of the coach, perhaps regretting the way things were between us and the way they could never
be. Finally he broke the silence asking in an upbeat tone, Would you like to go to Madames.
Perhaps Isabelle and Elise are there. The three of you should be together tonight. And Madame,
poor Madame, she loved Brigitte like a child. She needs you all around her.
Will you stay there with me? I questioned.
I wouldnt dream of being anywhere else. He replied with a smile.
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When we arrived everyone was there and they were all in tears. There were questions the
others had about the last moments I spent with her and how we found her, questions I answered
begrudgingly as I drank too much and held on to Etienne too tightly. Isabelle, Elise, and I had
lost our great friend. One of Madames girls was dead. And there was no talk of what we could
have done, the signs we should have seen, that was going to bring her back. When Pierre and
Mademoiselle joined us I was glad that there were more people to take up the conversation. All
of the attention was no longer on me as they all spoke of what a sweet woman Brigitte was under
it all and how tragically beautiful it was that she and Louis were together again. This was all
bullshit, the bullshit we feed ourselves when death is made real for us and we have no way of
accepting the cold hard truth of it.
When the four of us, my roommates, Etienne, and I returned to the apartment I felt so weary.
I had to unburden my soul on someone I truly loved who really loved me back. Etienne was
going to break our rule and stay the night in my bed. He said nothing when I grabbed my writing
things and the small portable desk I used for letters and I brought them into the bed with us. He
never asked who I was writing or why. It was only the third time in more than a year that I had
written to Luke and like the others I was writing this letter without any expectation of a reply. I
simply needed to tell him all that was going wrong in the life he cast me into. Perhaps he had
heard of Louiss death already. It was certainly possible. But he did not care for the Prince as I
had and so he needed to hear my sorrow. He needed to hear how I had found Louiss lover
hanging from our ceiling by a well-fashioned noose of bed sheets, how I held her until the
morticians men carried her away. He deserved to know that despite my successes, all was not
well in Paris. Did I blame him for all of this? No, of course not. But I needed to tell someone
who really knew me how I was aching and how much I missed my home.

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Chapter 7
The theater was closed for two weeks following the production of Hamlet. We were given
no real reason for this but there was nothing we could do about it until the king unlocked its
doors once more. Two days following her death, Brigitte was laid to rest in Les Innocents
cemetery in a proper ceremonial way and her body was placed in Etiennes family crypt where
his body was supposed to lay one day. I knew what everyone else did not. That if it had not been
for Etienne she would have been buried away from the proper graves with no stone to mark her
life or she would have been tossed into one of the mass graves to conserve precious space in a
cemetery already filled to capacity. After her funeral I would have been content, since we had
nothing but time, to stay in bed with Etienne because it was only in the throes of passion that I
forgot about the world. However, he insisted the closed doors did not amount to no work for the
two of us. So we worked constantly on the schedule for the next six months, the sets and their
costs, new additions to wardrobe for the new shows that the theater was going to put on and their
costsfor a man who wanted no part of business it appeared Etienne was quite good at it.
His plan to integrate the tragedies into the usual repertoire that the theater was known for
was a good one. We would start out with one for every three comedies we put on and in time we
would expand to one for one. He also suggested something that surprised me. He wanted the lead
actress to remain the lead on all comedies while I would be the lead for all tragedies and we
would take turns being understudy to one another. I had never heard of this before but I thought
it was a brilliant plan. However, all of the work we did took up just one week and two days. We
soon grew bored without anything else to occupy our time and it was then that we found
ourselves haunting the cafs, the taverns, and Pierres playhouse. When Pierre asked me to make
a special appearance as Juliet for one night only I thought Etienne was going to turn green with
jealousy. But when Pierre suggested he make a return to the stage for just a night as well and
play Romeo he did not accept. The look in his eyes at the moment could have torn at the coldest
heart. I wondered as I prepared for the show in the old dressing room if he associated acting with
his madness. That was foolish thinking but I would have never said as much to him. He had
known insanity in a way I could not imagine and I would say nothing against anything that kept
him from knowing it again.
As your teacher I must make sure that you are prepared so I hope like hell everyone is
dressed. Etienne announce as he came through the dressing room door.
I laughed. I believe youve seen most of us naked already and you are only coming in here
because you are bored and you are jealous that there was no room in this production for a
director. But I will humor you despite all of that. When he handed me a script I rolled my eyes.
I do not need a script. But you might. I need someone to play with me, my dear Romeo.
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He looked uncertain but he did it anyway, reciting all of the lines from memory. I noticed
that Madeline couldnt help but stop to watch him as I watched him. In that small room he
couldnt do a thing to stop himself from bringing Romeo to life completely. This was the first
time I had seen him recite lines at all and I got a small glimpse that night of the amazing actor he
once was. When I took the stage I imagined that he was indeed Romeo as I knew he should have
been and I wondered what it would be like to share a stage with him. It seemed I would never
find out and for the first time since we met, I was heartily sorry for that.
After the show Pierre wanted me to stay and chat but I didnt have the heart for it. I had
done what I came to do and with a kiss on his old weathered cheek it was back to my apartment
for Etienne and me. It was clear that he was out of sorts but I knew better than to ask about his
dark mood. I secretly hoped an opportunity for an argument would present itself to us because
nothing short of a proper fit was going to clear his head. As it turned out, I neednt have worried
because the chance for a fight was already waiting in an envelope at home.
Elise was in already when we returned and she smiled at me as I walked through the door.
A letter from your friend Cherise came today. I went ahead and took the money out for our
expenses. I didnt think you would mind.
No, of course not. I smiled at her as I picked the letter up. Of course there was nothing
from Luke (damn my heart for sinking a bit at the realization) but as I read I saw that he had used
Cherise as the go-between to relay a message to me. She said that he was sorry for the loss of my
friends. It was that simple. I only believed it came from him because I never told Cherise about
Louis or Brigitte. I wanted to throw the damned paper away but instead I sat it back down on the
desk in the sitting room to be put up with the others when I had a moment. It was only when I
turned around that I saw the fury in Etiennes expression.
A letter from your lady friend, is it? He seethed. He snatched the paper up and read the
signature before throwing it down again. This Cherise may be the one writing you but if you
want me to believe it was she who sent the money, you are more insane than either of us
realized! I am not that daft, Arianne! It was the first time he had ever called me by my proper
name and it sounded strange on his tongue. Does he send you money every month?
Yes. He is as faithful as the seasons in that regard. I replied simply.
You are like a paid whore who doesnt even have the decency to give the man her body!
He shouted. Elise stayed right where she was watching this exchange with the greatest
fascination.
Yes. And I would give him my body if he ever cared to claim it again. I am free to love
him, Monsieur Baptiste. I am free to leave here tonight and go back to him if I choose and I
would do just that if there was any chance he would end my exile so soon. You and I do not have
the right to tell one another what to do in either regard and that is how it will remain between us.
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Dont ever forget that. The moment you forget that you doom us both to loneliness unlike any
weve known before. Brigitte is gone, Louis is gone, and we are on our own. So do not toss away
what we are to each other now because you had a bad night.
He moved quickly and he was no more than an inch from my face when he said in a
whisper, You are nothing but a bitch! This love of yours is so great, this man of yours is so
great, that I warm your bed and you wont even speak his name. I think its all bullshit. The two
of you are perfect for one another because you are both too afraid to love someone else and too
stupid to love one another!"
You believe whatever you like. Just dont forget that I am not yours any more than you are
mine. Whenever one of us loses sight of that it is up to the one with a clear head to put forth such
a reminder. Tonight I am the bitch. That is fine. I will be the bitch tonight if it means waking up
tomorrow and knowing that I can still call you my friend.
You can call me nothing of the sort! I am absolutely through with all of this! I wont come
back to your bed and you will not come back to my theater! Good riddance, Ophelia! He
stormed out so fast that I wasnt sure he had left until I heard the loud slam of the door.
He just fired you! Elise cried out. She made it sound as if this was the greatest tragedy to
ever befall us.
No, he didnt. Not really. He needs me on that stage too much to kick me off. He is still
convinced that I am going to be great one day and his narcissism dictates that he attempt to be
the one credited for my greatness when the world starts to talk of it. His anger had nothing to do
with me. Truth be known he wouldnt give a damn if five men sent me money each month and
he would be equally as unconcerned if I shared my bed with all of them so long as he was given
top priority in that regard. No, the fight he is waging tonight is within himself. I was just here to
take it out on.
Just as I suspected, he was back the next morning with pastries and a carafe of coffee from
the caf two places down from my apartment and more plans for the theater that he concocted
when he should have been sleeping the night before. I was woken up to his voice booming out,
Do you know that there is an outdated tragedy with your name, Ophelia?
Beyond Hamlet, my Macbeth? I questioned sarcastically as I yawned.
Dont be a bitch. If you are going to continue to be a bitch to me I will toss you out of the
troupe for good. He declared as he threw open my curtains and my shutters.
Yes, I know about Ariane. I was named for it. I replied, sitting up on the pillows.
Do you know it at all? I know its a stretch to think you would
I know it by heart. I replied simply. I accepted the small cup of coffee he handed to me.
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I am very surprised to hear that but its good luck for us that you do because were
premiering it next month. Its to be the first tragedy shown in our new direction for the theater.
Its a strong play, a good play, and we are the only theater to show it in years. These are all good
things but the fact that its old and all but forgotten will only work in our favor if you make this
memorable. You have to be extraordinary. I am not overplaying the situation here. I mean that.
When it comes to the theater, you always mean what you say. But why that one? How did
you even come across it? I questioned, sipping the hot coffee and wincing as it burned my
tongue.
That is a strange story. I went back to my apartment last night absolutely furious and ready
to do something mad and there on my bedside table I found a script. I often receive scripts. Even
before I was put in charge of everything they came in addressed to me from time to time. But this
one was addressed to no one. It wasnt in an envelope of any kind. I checked every single lock
on every door in that theaterdo you realize how many entrances there are in total in that
damned place?...and I made sure that my windows were still secure. There is no way that script
could have gotten to me. I am alone in that place and I will be until the king stops his irritating
mourning that he is taking out on our theater for no good reason at all. I am alone there and any
way in was still shut up. This intrigued me enough to give it a look. Now I am thrilled that I did.
It is perfect for the debut of the tragedies and for the debut of Pariss next prima donna of the
stage.
It might have been a puzzle to my friend where that script came from but I had no doubt who
put it on Etiennes bedside table. I had to breathe through the fury that coursed through me at the
idea that Luke had the gall to come to Paris and avoid me completely. He couldnt come to see
me on a stage, he couldnt come for so much as an hour on my birthday or on one of the dates
when he knew I needed him the most, but he could come to slip a letter through my door and put
a script in the apartment of the man I was sleeping with? In that moment I decided two things: I
would play Ariane and I would be as amazing as Monsieur Moreau always dreamed I would be
and I would never again write a letter to the bastard who had abandoned me. I had had enough of
his games.
Because I knew the play like the back of my own hand, Etienne consulted me on casting. He
then made me begin rehearsals in my apartment, moving my sitting room furniture out so I
would feel as if I were on the grand stage. By the time the king reopened the doors of the theater
I was more than ready for the role that had been dropped upon me. I knew it would break my
heart to play this but that only meant that I would have more to give to it. I was not doing this for
Luke. I wasnt honoring whatever motive he had in bringing that damned script to Etiennes
attention. I was going to do this to honor the dreams of a poor farmer who died working toward a
better life for his daughter.
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On opening night I was absolutely terrified. When I had played Ophelia in the production of
Hamlet to honor Louis I had been wrapped in mourning and only a few people were in
attendance. It was nothing at all like playing to a sold out crowd which was what I found myself
doing on the first night of Ariane. The old timers who were friends and distant relatives to the
king had come out to see the show that they remembered from their younger days. The younger
crowd came to see what Etienne had done with the place since he took over. Even Madame,
Mademoiselle, and Pierre were there to watch me in my debut as the permanent lead tragedy
actress on the stage of our national theater. It appeared that even though they were the daughters
of an actress, a position usually not held with a great deal of regard in those days, Madame and
Mademoiselle were quite well known with the aristocracy in Paris and I saw them more than
once chatting with counts and viscounts as if they were all old friends. Something about this
gave me comfort and so it was the thought of my beloved Madame laughing with a count in all
of her finery that I called up when I had thoughts of running away just before the curtain came
up. Etienne tried to offer me words of encouragement but he was never a soothing presence in
my life at times like those and by the time I was ready to take my place on stage he was cursing
at me in multiple languages.
I truly thought I would choke when I began to recite my first lines. It was just as Louis and
Etienne had once feared. I walked out and I looked around at a theater full of the most
prestigious members of French society, I saw all of their eyes on me, and I was mortified. But
this terrible spell lasted only a moment. Soon I was in the role as if I had been born to it and
though my hands were shaking when the curtain came down for the last time, I had to go back
out for an encore and a standing ovation. You scared the hell out of me, Ophelia. I thought I
was going to have to come out and kick you in the ass to get you going. Etienne declared as
soon as I came backstage.
Oh my god, everyone noticed that? I asked in horror.
Of course not. But I did. However, the rest of the time you were great. Well done. Patting
me on the back, he walked away and I went into the dressing room to remove the greasepaint and
take a few deep breaths. My stomach was still in knots as I changed. There was this
overwhelming feeling inside of me that I had assumed was simply stage fright but it wasnt
letting up even after all evidence of the show was gone from my body. A knock at the door made
it worse but I was able to collect myself enough to answer. I let out a gasp to see who was on the
other side. Ah, petite beaut, your papa would have wept with pride to see you tonight!
I wrapped my arms around Monsieur Moreau and there was no way to control the tears that
flowed when I felt his weathered cheek against mine. How did you know? How did you know
that I was here, that I was playing Ariane?
Holding me out at arms length he smiled. I could see the tears standing in his eyes, though.
I never thought to invite him, to write him and ask him to come, and I felt guilty that I hadnt.
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My father was dead, Luke was content to never see me, but Monsieur Moreau deserved to be
there to see me on this night of all nights. That husband of yours came in three nights ago to tell
me about it. He said he couldnt be here and he thought I should come so you knew we were all
praying for you on your big night. I respect that boy a great deal for allowing you to leave when
he loves you so much but I will never understand why He sighed. We dont need to talk
about this right now. I promised him I wouldnt say anything and as you know I am a man of my
word. You look beautiful, dear girl. Paris has been kind to you just as Luke promised me. And I
see youve met Clare and Franny. Quite the pair, arent they? I am just happy to see them
speaking, coming to the show together like they did. Theyve always had such a hard time
getting on well.
I tried to absorb all of this at once but it was clear that if we wanted to catch up this was not
the place to do it. I have to go say hello to everyone or Etienne will have my ass but I would
love it if you would come with me and as soon as I am done we can go to my apartment and talk.
Its too late for you to make the journey home. I would love it if you would stay with me. I have
roommates so it would be no trouble for me to sleep with one of the girls tonight so you can have
my bed.
That is very generous but I have already reserved a room at Frannys inn for the evening.
However, I would love to see this apartment of yours. Imagine. Our little Arianne having her
own apartment in Paris? Lead the way, my girl. You have many people waiting to have a word
with the genius from the stage.
Unfortunately he was correct about that. But I was surprised to see that he knew many of
the older people who came up to me and he was indeed very close to Madame and
Mademoiselle, or Franny and Clare as he called them. He explained later that he was the actor to
Mademoiselles lead actress and that the two had often traveled together in their troupe before he
went back home. To see them all together made me think of how strange life can be. Thirty years
earlier the pair shared a stage, a destiny I suppose, and now they were both so intertwined in my
destiny that I couldnt imagine life without either of them even though they went in dramatically
separate directions. That coupled with his words about my husband had me thinking more on
Luke than I would have liked but I asked him nothing until we were back at my apartment and I
had told him everything that had become of me since I came to Paris. He gave me the perfect
opportunity to ask anything when he said, I could not believe it when your beloved called off
the wedding. The two of you looked so happy the night of your ball. When he explained to me
that he did it because he wanted you to have a chance at greatness in actingwell, you can
imagine how grateful I was to him. You would have never gone on your own. You would have
never left him. I just hope you dont give your heart to another while you are here because that
would break him.
Come now. He isnt suffering. Perhaps in front of youBut I am sure hes doing well,
isnt he?
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Monsieur Moreau stood to poke the fire. He did this when he needed time to think before
speaking. As I said before, I swore I would say nothing. He replied.
I know that but he hasnt sent me so much as a letter. I talk to Cherise by mail but she
would never tell me anything he didnt want me to know. If something is the matter with him I
believe I deserve to know and there is no one else who will tell me. I need to hear from you how
he is fairing.
I was worried when he sat down beside of me and took my hands in his. People always do
that it seems just before they tell you terrible news. If I answer you honestly you must promise
that you will continue to do what you have been doing. You must stay here and act, at least for a
while longer, because it is what he wants most of all. When you played in the beloved Princes
Hamlet tribute Luke was so proud. He came straight over to tell me about it, that the king himself
had requested you for the role, as proud as a man holding his first son or prouder still. So you
must promise that you wont ruin this by coming home, not yet.
Im not coming home. I promise. I still have much to do. As far as things go between Luke
and me, the damage for now is done already. There is nothing to be gained by leaving all of this
behind before I see where it might take me. I replied and for the first time I meant that with
everything I had. Being on the most famous stage in France playing before aristocrats who
treated me as if I were royalty backstage had done something to me. It made me want more.
Hes been an absolute wreck since you left. He comes to see me about twice a week. You
wouldnt recognize our little theater. Hes fixed it up until it looks better than it did when I first
bought it. He is so generous to us, so kind. Hes still giving money to those ungrateful sisters of
yours as well though the Lord knows I dont understand why. I told him how they were, the way
that they treated you, but he said that he considers them family and one must be good to family
even if one doesnt like who the family is personally. I suppose he is right about that. He talks of
you every time he comes to call. Its as if he cannot help himself. But he puts on a brave face for
me most of the time. Most of what I know of his misery comes from the friendship that has
formed between Madame Moreau and Mother. Mother told my beloved that Luke has had no
peace since you left, that he weeps late at night, and he composes the most heartbreaking tunes
on his piano. She said he wont go into the turret, something about a fight the two of you had,
and he hasnt allowed anyone into your bedchamber since you left but he wont go into his own
either. He wont step foot in the library, he avoids the gardens, and he wont let anyone in the
house speak your name in front of him anymore unless they must. But he knows what you write
to Cherise. He reads the letters I suspect.
I sat back unwilling to accept all of this. Are you sure of this? Are you absolutely sure he is
suffering in this way? I suspect he was in Paris recently but he didnt come to see me. He didnt
even tell me himself that he was here. If he is in so much pain why would he come so close and
not reach out to me?
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Oh, my girl, there is so little you must know about men. He let you go because he thought it
was best for you once. Do you think he could do that twice? If you do than you must not have
any idea how true my words to you are. He came to me the night that marked a year passed since
your departure and though he didnt weep, his voice was full of tears. Until then he had told me
only why the wedding was called off and that he knew you were doing well here. But that night
he bared his soul to me. His heart aches for you, Arianne. He misses you so much. I asked him
why he didnt come to you, make a life with you here, and he told me that he cant stand the
thought of you regretting the choice to settle with him later. He said if you return to him once
youve seen the world he is sure your love will last forever and if you do not than it is better for
it to be this way than for you to one day resent him. Either way, he believes he is making the
right choice. Do you comprehend the amount of love that goes into such a sacrifice? I am sure
you must have thought that he couldnt love you if he sent you away like that but I am telling
you that he loves you more than you realize and he is waiting for the day that you return to him.
When he left me a few hours later I went into my bedchamber and I curled up like an infant,
weeping so loud that Isabelle and Elise came in to see that I was alright. It was so much easier to
think that Luke was playing with my heart. But to hear the truth of it crushed me. Of course I
wanted him to love me still but I never wanted him to mourn for me, not like this. Here I was
enjoying my life while he made himself a prisoner in his own home trapped with my memory.
His ghost followed me every time I went on a stage and scanned the faces before me to see if he
was there, every time I walked the streets late at night and wished I was going home to him, and
when I lay in the arms of Etienne after the passion had cooled and reality set in. But what he was
doing to himself was far worse than what his ghost was doing to me. When I had myself under
control I wrote Luke one final letter. I explained that I wouldnt write him again because I
thought that writing him directly was doing him more harm, I thanked him again for the chance
he had given me to live this dream, I assured him that I was going to come home to him one day,
and I begged him to stop torturing himself. I pleaded with him to do something that might put the
light back in his eyes until I could return to him once more. That was the hardest letter I had ever
written and I almost burned it but if he was going to be happy in my absence I knew those words
were his only chance.
That night was also the last time I ever saw Monsieur Moreau. A year later while I was in
Italy playing my first show abroad I received word that he and his wife had succumbed to illness
on the same night and they were found in bed together, their hands still clasped. I had no way of
making it back in time for the funeral and I was never given a chance to say goodbye. My first
international role was the same one that had caught the attention of all the right people in Paris at
Pierres playhouse, the role of Juliet, and when I should have been kissing the cheeks of my
beloved godparents I was instead on a beautiful stage in Florence weeping tears that were not
faked at all over the body of my Romeo. Yet I knew in my heart that was what Monsieur Moreau
would have wanted from me. My father was not the only one who had longed to see me live my
dream, after all, and now that I was, my godfather would not have wanted me to leave behind my
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first job in Italy for anything. He used to tell me stories in my youth about how beautiful the
country was and that if you were an actor in France you could not call yourself famous until you
had performed successfully on an Italian stage. So it was for him and all he had done for me that
I went out that night despite the pain and I gave everything I had to be Juliet.

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Chapter 8
The months in between the last time I saw my friend and my first trip with the troupe abroad
were a blur of work and roles. Etienne and I did nothing, it seemed, but prepare ourselves and the
rest of the cast for one show after the next and they were all successful. By the start of the next
season we had people traveling from all over Europe to be in the audience at the Comdie
Franaise and I had become exactly what Etienne had predicted I would be. I was his right hand
in that theater. We decided on the plays together, we did the casting together, we worked with
the actors and we both answered to the king when he complained that we were destroying the
legacy of the place. It seemed the only time we socialized was if it could somehow benefit the
theater and that usually meant attending very boring get-togethers with rich noblemen who could
potentially contribute funds to us as patrons. Although the theater was still ran by the king and he
put up the money for most of it, if we wanted something ornate we were instructed to produce
the money ourselves. This was done in an attempt to force us to stick with the usual repertoire of
shows but we always found ways to get the money much to the kings irritation. Our names were
becoming well known in France and in neighboring countries but we were too busy to notice
until we got the request in early spring of 1713, a little over a year after our debut of Ariane, to
go abroad with our production of Romeo and Juliet. The first stop would be Florence and from
there we would go to Rome before traveling to Madrid and London. We would then receive
word concerning further instructions.
Etienne, we have everything in this theater riding upon our shoulders. How the hell would
we leave it for three months? And what if they request that we do more shows after London?
How long could we be gone? I demanded as I paced the stage with the letter of request he had
given me in my hand.
Are you under the false impression that this is something we can say no to? It isnt. The last
time a troupe from this theater was requested by that company to go abroad was when I was the
lead actor. The man who runs that theater in Florence, the one who sent us the letter, owns at
least one theater in every major city in Europe from Moscow to Athens. One cannot achieve true
success on the stage without having connections with him and when youve earned his respect?
That is when you have sealed your spot in infamy. Mademoiselle will look after the remaining
troupe while we are gone and I will speak with the king about anything else. All will be fine in
our absence. As for you? I am giving you the next four days off. You need to rest and prepare
yourself for this. I promise you that this is the defining moment of your career. If you are able to
succeed all over Europe the way that you have here you will never have cause to worry about
your place in this world but if you fail at this than assisting me with the actors will be as close as
you will get to a stage again. And that isnt some threat I am throwing at you. No actor who ever
failed abroad has ever worked again once he or she came home. Take it from me. I know better
than most. But with your gift the only way you could fail is by letting your nerves get the best of
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you. So you have four days to prepare, to make sure that they do not. Get the hell out of my
theater.
It wasnt home I went but to Pierres theater to speak with Mademoiselle. Her initial reaction
was pure joy as she hugged me and told me over and over again how proud she was. But as soon
as I told her my fears, the fears that were only increased by Etiennes warning, she was all
business again. The worst thing you could do to yourself and your performance is to view the
new stages as anything but familiar. Once you have played before the king and a thousand of his
closest friends, my girl, you have earned the right to say that all stages are the same. You must
work on acting in another language. Thats what you need to spend these days doing. It is one
thing to speak Italian, to read Italian, and something altogether different to act in a language that
isnt your own. I am sure Pierre will understand if I work with you today since your fool teacher
forgot this very important lesson, one that I, as his teacher, did not forget to teach him.
I thought she was being dramatic, that acting in a different language would be no different at
all from speaking in a different language, but I was mistaken and I realized this as soon as I
began my lines as Juliet in Italian for the first time. As she had the first time she ever instructed
me concerning the stage, she taught me how to let the words flow as effortlessly, as naturally, in
Italian as they did in French. She then did the same with Spanish and English. With only two
days left until our departure, Etienne found us as we were working and she gave him a true earful
on sending me out with nothing but warnings just before my first job abroad. I thought she was
going to box his ears as she named off the disastrous consequences that might have come from
his actions if I had not had the good sense to come straight to her. Realizing his mistake at once
he apologized sheepishly (a moment I wish I could have captured for all time in its rarity) and he
sent his driver back immediately with the message that he would not be returning to the theater
that day as he helped her put the finishing touches on my instruction. We ran through the play in
three languages back to back until I was ready to drop and I actually fell asleep in the coach on
the way home, getting inside only because Etienne was kind enough to carry me in. Still, when
the day of our departure came, I was honest when I assured Mademoiselle that I felt ready to take
on the stage in Florence. The fact that everyone, even Pierre, came out to see us off only added to
my happiness.
I was soaking in the excitement of my first journey out of the country when Etienne broke
through my thoughts. The troupe was traveling in a caravan of four coaches, three for all of us
and a fourth for our baggage alone. Etienne and I were sharing a coach with Guillaume, who
would play my Romeo, Dominique, the lead actress of comedy who would play my nurse, and
an older English man named Albert I barely knew who was to play my father in addition to being
Guillaumes teacher. But everyone was quiet, perhaps lost in their thoughts as I was, until
Etienne said, This is a long journey, Ophelia. It will take a little over two weeks. We will stop at
night of course to rest and have a bite to eat but we cant afford many breaks besides that.
However, in the beginning, if you should need a break, we shall stop. You need only to say so.
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I laughed at him. Etienne, I am not a child. I think I can manage a carriage ride without
becoming overwhelmed. What has you being so kind? Is it because youve completely
overworked me and you nearly fed me to the lions by forgetting something as important as
teaching me to recite lines in Italian or did the driver who shook my hand have the plague?
His sigh surprised me enough to make me look over at him. Although this was the closest
thing to a break that he had had since inheriting the responsibilities of the theater, he seemed
more uptight than usual and there was worry in his eyes. Dropping his voice to barely above a
whisper he replied, You know how we long ago established that between us there is a time for
sarcasm and a time to be supportive of one another? I affirmed this though I had no recollection
of such an agreement. This is a time for the latter. Right now Italy may seem like it is a million
miles away and you can relax but it will be a reality soon enough and you will be a wreck of
nerves and fear. You will need me to get you past that. Likewise, Italy is not my favorite place
on the map and I swore I would never set foot in the place again. I also have the misfortune of
knowing that we will be there soon enough. This is not a happy trip for me and if I wasnt your
teacher, your friend, I would have kept my ass planted firmly in Paris where I belong. I suspect
my nerves will settle once I arrive, just in time for yours to frazzle. So lets just be kind to each
other until the worst has passed, shall we? And remember what I said about the ride. There is a
substantial difference in going from your little farmers place outside of town to a city over seven
hundred miles away. Youll see.
And see I did but to my credit, I was actually the last within the troupe to toss up the
contents of my stomach by the side of the road thanks to the constant jostling of that damned
death trap on wheels. All in all, the journey was probably one of the most miserable experiences
of my life. Etienne was moving between a brooding silence and snapping at anyone who dared to
speak, my understudy and our Romeo were sick throughout the entire journey, long after I had
grown accustomed to the motion that produced my initial sickness, and they did not always wait
until the coach had come to a stop before throwing up, and to make matters worse, the rainy
season was upon us producing cold winds, wet weather, and more mud than I had seen in a
lifetime. I tried to sleep as much as possible but it wasnt always possible with Etienne often
needing someone to talk to in order to lift his mood even a fraction of an inch. By the time we
arrived in Florence I didnt give a damn what I had to do there just as long as it meant staying in
one place for a period of time so I could get my bearings straight once more. I rented us
separate rooms but they are conjoined by a door. Any objections? Etienne questioned as I sat in
the lobby of a beautiful hotel that was once a palazzo by the looks of it waiting for him to make
arrangements for lodging.
I dont give a damn if we stay in a box so long as we are away from the troupe and I dont
have to smell a horse again! I barked out.
He only laughed as he directed a boy no older than twelve toward our bags. We have today
off but tomorrow rehearsals begin. Back home rehearsals are nothing but here the director of the
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company will sit in on every one so you must rehearse as if you are performing. That company
has paid a great deal to have us on this tour and if they find a single thing wrong with our work
they will kick our asses straight back to Paris, forcing us to come up with the money that has
already been spent in addition to compensation for wasting their time. I have heard many tales of
such things happening. I do not want to be the one to explain that to the king. Since you are my
partner and the star of the show I will make sure I will not be explaining it on my own. Do you
want to give such an explanation?
We had just stopped outside of my room and I was unlocking the door as he finished his
great speech. Instead of answering him, I merely opened the door, stepped inside, and shut it in
his face. I could hear him laughing even as I threw myself down upon the delicious feather
mattress that reminded me of heaven. To his credit, he let me sleep for about three hours before
he barged in the adjoining door with a tray of coffee and Italian pasties and a detailed plan of the
work we had to do before opening night, which was just three days away. As if all of the talk
about the company kicking us off the stage wasnt bad enough, he also had with him an Italian
paper talking about the anticipated performance and our troupe as if we were the most amazing
spectacle to be seen in all of Europe. Just as he predicted, now that the gratitude for simply being
off the road had faded, I was a nervous wreck. But he, as he said, was as cool as an ice cube.
Somehow he was able to take me from a state of fear unlike anything I had ever known before to
an illusion of confidence that carried me through our first rehearsal before the impatient Italian
who kept calling me Bella Donna in a way that made me feel like a prostitute. I was so anxious
on opening night that I spent the entire day rehearsing between runs to the chamber pot to get
sick. It didnt help that word had spread throughout Florence that a sizeable group of locals,
friends of the lead actress of the usual troupe that owned the stage we were playing on, had
promised to come throw food at the French bastards who dared try to take over their stage. But
through all of this Etienne was there showing me more kindness, more patience, than I would
have ever guessed he was capable of.
An hour before show time I sat alone in a dressing room weeping the last tears outside of
character that I would be allowed that night. Etienne came in with a bouquet of roses and a bottle
of wine and as I tried to hide my tears from him, expecting his wrath if he saw them, he crouched
down and took my hand. You listen to me, Arianne. You are amazing and the fact that you have
made it here in less than two years is proof of that. Unlike the Italian Prima Donna and her
henchmen who have threatened to come and make a fool of you tonight, you were asked to come
over seven hundred miles to be here. They may make good on their threat. It happened twice to
me. But even if they chuck a melon at your skull, you go on as Juliet. Pay them no mind. I
promise to clean you up as soon as you leave the stage so long as you dont fuck up a single
word or forget a single sigh. You can do this. I believe in you even more than I once believed in
myself and I have never met another actor or actress that I could say that about. Dazzle them
with Juliet just as you once dazzled me. I promise you I was far more difficult to impress than
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they shall be. The kisses he placed on my forehead were nothing but tender and something
about his confidence in me gave me a bit more confidence in myself.
Unlike the performances back home that all went off without a hitch despite the fears I had
walking on to the stage, this one could have been a disaster. The friends of the lead actress who
typically claimed our host playhouse as her own did show up, they did throw rotten food at me,
and they all seemed to have amazing aim. Between scenes Etienne would clean off what he
could and I would go back out to be abused some more. But as the show went on something
amazing happened. I won them over. I refused to back down, I refused to run off, and I did not
step out of character once. This was not some show of great acting for me. It was a survival
mechanism. But it worked! By the last scene there wasnt a dry eye in the house and I actually
received a standing ovation and praises being shouted in Italian so loudly that the paper reported
the next morning they could be heard from the street. I had never known a triumph like this
before. I had never had to work so hard to make people love me while I was on a stage. And
somehow it made the embarrassment, the harassment I had endured worth it. This was the
sweetest victory of my career.
After praising the troupe as a whole, Etienne actually took me in his arms and spun me
around until I was dizzy. You smell terrible but you were the best goddamned Juliet in the
world tonight! I have never been more proud of you than I am right now! Tomorrow night there
will be no ruffians tossing food at you because in two hours you made believers of them all. By
doing so, you have just made believers of the entire city. I could give you your weight in gold
right now!
I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe and most of that laughter was pure relief. I
would settle for you putting me down before I throw up again. Then, after Ive gone back to the
hotel and taken a bath, I am going to put on the prettiest dress I packed and you, Monsieur
Baptiste, are going to take me to a nice dinner.
We never made it to dinner that night. When we returned to the hotel, I went straight to the
lavatory while Etienne went through the mail that had come for us that day and it was in the
stack of letters that the message from Mademoiselle arrived dated just one day after we set out
from Paris telling of Monsieur and Madame Moreaus deaths. She had received word from an
unsigned letter addressed to her asking her to pass the message on to me and she had enclosed
the letter for my inspection. It was from Luke and the warmth and kindness in his words, along
with their meaning, had me sitting on the floor with the letters clutched to my chest weeping like
a child. Etienne had read them before he passed them along to me, he had broken the news to me
as gently as he could, and he had even apologized for the fact that I had missed the funeral and
that there was no way for him to get me out of the performance the next night. But there was
nothing in that moment that could console me. I had not felt a pain like that since I lost my father
and, indeed, because Monsieur Moreau had been the last living link I had to papa, it felt almost
like losing him all over again.
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Etienne held me for hours as I sobbed. He went out to fetch strong liquor and food that he
forced me to eat. And when I was drunk enough he let me talk of the memories I had and of the
importance of that sweet man in my life. Only when I was calmed down on the brink of sleep
lying in his arms did he finally ask what he had probably wanted to know since he read the
letters that were sent to me. The person who wrote Mademoiselle, is it the man you love?
Yes. I replied simply. How did you know?
Because only a man who loves a woman very much would say the things he said on that
page and not send it to her directly. He let you go to live and he wont disrupt your life even if it
causes him pain to stay in the shadows. I was wrong before. When I said he doesnt love you. I
was wrong. And you are right to save your heart for him because I could never give you what he
will when the two of you are together again.
He may have thought that I was too drunk to remember the words he spoke that night and he
probably never dreamed that they gave me the great comfort that they provided but something
about his assessment of Luke through those words gave me the strength to go to rehearsal the
next day, to go on the stage that night. I wanted to be home again. I wanted to leave Italy as soon
as I woke up and re-read the letters just to prove to myself that the memories of the night before
were not some horrible dream. Most of all I wanted to ride up to Lukes castle and feel his arms
wrapped around me, comforting me, taking me in as he had when my father died. But to flee
would be a betrayal of everything that Luke and Monsieur Moreau had wanted for me. It would
be a betrayal of all that had been sacrificed to get me so far. So instead I saved my pain and I
poured it out into Romeo and Juliet every night for a month, I did it in Rome when we were sent
there from Florence, and I did it in Madrid and London as well. Six months after our departure,
the troupe returned to Paris as stars of Europe with our praises being sang all over the world we
knew. We were welcomed back by a party of four hundred or so that first night and Madame was
quick to show us all that the Paris paper had printed about our journeys since Florence. I was on
the top of the world. So why, I wondered, did I still feel as if so much was missing from my life?
For the next three years my life seemed to move at a fevered pace yet after our return to
France it all became routine. We were home for a month before we toured the country and then
we came back to Paris in time to ring in the New Year. A few months later there was another
tour of Europe and so it went until 1716 when things began to change a bit both in my career and
in my personal life. The same troupe that had tried to run me out of Florence during that first
performance was gaining steam and soon there was talk that the Comdiens Italiens would soon
be asked to come and play on our stage. I understood when Etienne told me this what had made
the lead actress of that troupe round up her friends to throw smelly fruit at me when my troupe
came to her town but Etienne shot down that idea quickly telling me that we had to do so much
better than that. His plan was brilliant and it saved us from slipping into obscurity under the
popularity of our new competition. Instead of brutality he began rounding up new plays by the
best playwrights that France had to offer. Just before he was imprisoned in the Bastilles, Voltaire
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personally gave Etienne his first works of tragedy and although my friend would never say how
he knew this strange character, I believe that even after he was locked up we continued to receive
works by him written under various pseudonyms. In addition to that, we put on plays by Cresset,
Piron, Fagan, and works by a man who created a new genre of drama called tearful tragedy, the
first examples of which were performed by our troupe on our stage. Because we took these
shows all over Europe we had no problem getting the latest and the greatest from writers who
would normally rather starve than do a damned thing to help the royal theater. It didnt hurt that
Etienne appeared to know even the most infamous among them on a personal basis.
As our triumphs over the Italians grew, Etiennes mental state seemed to decline. I first
assumed that it was the stress of managing the theater, trying to stay a step ahead of the
competition, and constantly being on tour with me. But by the middle of 1717 as our troupe was
once again on top and the most famous papers of the day were calling me a force tour de force on
the stage, Etienne was often slipping into periods of depression that were so deep it seemed that
not even my love could pull him back from the brink. Twice I had to rescue him from being
taken to an asylum. The first time we were in London and I just happened to leave a party in time
to see police attempting to carry him off after he had apparently tried to cut his own wrist outside
the Tower of London. I had to lie and say that I was his wife and our daughter had just died to
get them to release him to me and I had to fetch Mademoiselle from Paris to come and
practically babysit him for the duration of our tour because he refused to go home and I was
afraid to leave him alone even for an hour.
The second time was in Paris and it was so much worse. I had one day off, the anniversary
of my fathers death, and when I returned to the theater everyone was in a panic. No one had
seen Etienne since the last time we were together. It took me three days to find him and when I
did I was horrified to see that he was with some mad bastard who claimed to be a doctor, a man
he had gone with of his own free will like an idiot because the man promised to cure him of his
melancholy. It actually took intervention from the advisor to the new infant king himself (our
beloved Sun King had been dead over a year then) to get Etienne out of that one and it was then
that he finally told me the truth behind his worsening moods. The man who had made his tonics
for him had been dead for a year. Without anything to stabilize him it seemed he was doomed to
his darkness forever and he was very adamant that he felt death was preferable to that fate. I,
however, saw things differently. Instead of giving up I spent every free moment I had trying to
find a real doctor who could do what the madman outside of town had promised, what the dead
doctor had done for years. I even wrote Cherise to see if Luke knew of anything that could cure
such an ailment. But each week that passed brought no answers and I could see that each
moment Etienne spent in his mind was bringing him closer and closer to some sort of
breakdown. If I could find no answer I would be powerless to stop whatever end he was destined
to come to and frankly there was nothing that frightened me more than that.
It wasnt all darkness for him though, at least not with the face that he showed the world.
Somehow he was able to make everyone else, including the kings advisor, who was also
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Etiennes third cousin, believe that he was on top of the world as our troupe and the theater
moved toward a fame that was unheard of at that time. On New Years Eve of 1717 and the first
hours of 1718 we had royalty from six countries come to see our production of Hamlet. This
surprised all of us as it was usually the premiers of new shows that had been bringing in the most
distinguished crowds over the last year. That night was huge for us. It was Dominiques last
show as she was to be married a week later, it was the first and last time that Etiennes brothers
and his father, cousin to the deceased Sun King, came to see a performance, and it was the first
time that our beloved Louiss little boy, the king of France for the last two years despite being
only seven and a half at that time, was brought to our theater for a show. I had never laid eyes on
the boy and Etienne hadnt seen him since his fathers death but his appearance that night was
probably the most bitter-sweet moment I ever experienced at the Comdie-Franaise. It was his
fathers favorite play and although he did not realize its significance in his fathers life at that
time, I wondered if our beloved Louiss death would one day make his son cling to Hamlet the
way Louis himself had once after his own father left his life too soon.
It was Philippe II, Duke of Orleans (who was ruling the country until the boy was old
enough to actually take the throne in more than just title) that brought him that night. Philippe
was not only third cousin to Etienne, he was first cousin to the boy king, and this family bond I
had not been aware of until Louis XIV died made it all perfectly logical that Philippe should
bring the boy backstage to see us after the show ended. Etiennes father and two brothers came
with them and as Etienne pretended to be glad to see them all, I could do nothing but stare at the
child who was the spitting image of my dear friend, the man that I owed everything to. You are
very pretty, Ophelia. He said with a shy smile and though the mistaken name was more Etienne
than Louis, the smile and the blush on his cheeks when he asked me if he could touch my hair
was so much his father that it broke my heart. I stooped down to allow him access to my hair
thinking he wanted really to see the crown of flowers I still wore upon my head and I couldnt
help but laugh when the boy snuck a kiss on my cheek instead. You know, I am going to marry
a princess one day. He said in a matter-of-fact way that made me wonder how much of his
mapped out destiny had already been heaped upon him under the guise of preparation.
Is that so? Will she be a pretty princess? I questioned in response. I didnt care that I
looked foolish as I sat on my knees with dignitaries all around me completely absorbed in this
little person. He melted my heart so completely that nothing could have torn me from him and I
knew that if Etienne had his way, he would be right beside of me just as absorbed in the little
Louis as I was.
He giggled boyishly as he nodded. Of course she will! She With his finger he gestured
for me to come closer. She will be just like you, Ophelia! He confided in a whisper directly in
my ear. At that moment Philippe pulled the boy away saying it was long past his bed time and
after a grown up kiss on my hand and a curtsy I gave wholeheartedly in response, the little piece
of Louis that I had had for no more than half an hour was taken away.
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I spent the next hour alone backstage crying until the theater was cleared out at last and then
Etienne and I spent the rest of the night reminiscing on our dear sweet friend, on the way he
changed the course of our lives, and how we imagined his son would be when he was a grown up
king. He kept his melancholy at bay as we talked but in the days that followed it was plain to see
that the combination of seeing Louiss son and seeing his father again for the first time in over a
decade was too much with the state of mind that Etienne had been in for close to two years.
Again I resumed my search for a cure or a fix as talks began concerning another European tour
that would begin just days before my twenty-fifth birthday. In front of the others, including the
girl who had replaced Dominique as my new understudy and the new lead actress of the comedic
plays, Etienne assured everyone that 1718 would be the biggest year for the Comdie-Franaise
yet but in private he could not hide the way that his world was crumbling.
He started hiring people to help him run the theater, something he had never done before
and while he never missed a day of work he began spending more time directing from the seats
in the audience than he spent working hands on with the actors on the stage. There was another
change in him as well. Every time I mentioned the upcoming tour he would not refer to it as
something we were going to do but as something I should be preparing for. At first I thought
nothing of this but then, as the date of departure drew near, I started questioning it. Always I was
met with either silence or an angry response and neither answered my question when all I wanted
to know was if he planned to come. Finally, with only two days to go before we were leaving
and with me unclear on what our first stop was, we had the biggest fight that we had had in years
and at last my questions were met with answers.
It was a new show that we were taking on the road and the entire troupe had worked non-
stop for two weeks to get prepared for our roles. Etienne had already scheduled me for a day off
before our departure so this was to be my last run through before we left and as soon as it ended I
was ready to take him aside and ask him again the same things I had tried to get out of him for
the better part of two months. However, before I could do that he went ahead and sent everyone
home asking me to stay behind until we were alone. Sitting beside of me on the stage, his sigh
echoed off of the walls in the empty room. I am not going with you this time, Ophelia. I might
join you later but your first stop is Venice. I cannot, I will not, face Venice. I couldnt do that
when I was well and I sure as hell cant manage it now. I have already talked to
Mademoiselle
This has to be the most foolish thing I have ever heard from you and considering the shit
that I have listened to over the last six years, that is quite an accomplishment. Of course you are
coming with me. You have no reason not to come with me. Venice was the only city we could
not gain entrance to all of this time, the only city that remained loyal to its own nations troupe,
and it was you who spent the last five fucking years telling me that once we had our invitation to
Venice, Moscow would be next and all of Europe would be ours. How many times did you drive
me crazy with such talk when we finally went to Berlin last year? Now that we have this you
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think you are going to send me out to the toughest crowd of my career without you? Like hell
you are! I replied, fury heating up my words.
I cannot go to Venice, goddamn it! He shouted at me, jumping up and walking the stage
as if the act of sitting next to me was too much for him at that moment.
Not content to allow him to tower above me, I too jumped up and I stood in his way so he
had to stop his walking. Why not? It cannot possibly be that you fear going might make you
mad, Etienne. Being here in Paris makes you mad! TwiceTWICEI have had to pull you
from the clutches of being institutionalized! For days on end Ive had to watch you, Ive had to
have others watch you, just to make sure you didnt slit your fucking wrists again if you were left
alone for five minuets. What is worse than that? There is no threat left for you in Venice. Its
already here, old friend. You are living with it already.
Arianne, I run this theater. I make the moves and I say who goes and who stays. In two
days you and the others are going to Venice while I stay here with the understudies of the
understudies to put on some stupid little comedies no one will remember a year from now in
your absence. I might join you in Madrid. I may never see you again. I dont know and frankly
right now I dont care. This is not something you can throw a tantrum and get your way on, my
little prima donna. So give it a rest before you make an ass of yourself. You are very nearly
twenty-five and this is probably the last year you have to be a leading actress on the stage. You
are plenty old enough to go to Venice on your own without daddy there to hold your hand. Be
grateful for this chance. You will soon be too old for such offers. Enjoy it. He replied coldly.
His words were like a bucket of ice thrown in my face and everything he said felt like a betrayal
I didnt think he was capable of anymore.
I wanted to hurt him the way he had just hurt me but I knew angry words were not the way
to accomplish it. No, if I wanted to really wound him I needed to exploit his major weakness. I
laughed in his face before responding with, Do you forget how well I know you? Your pride is
too great for you to miss this. I succeed on this stage and it will be a bigger triumph than the first
time in Florence. You may be completely fucking mad but you are still Etienne and you can
spout some more lies if it makes you feel better but we both know that nothing short of death
will keep Etienne Baptiste from savoring the glory that will come from instructing me on that
stage!
I expected a continuation of the argument at hand of course. Perhaps he would physically
throw me off the stage or something equally as dramatic. But he took me completely by surprise
when he only stood there for the longest time staring into my eyes before taking my hand and
kissing it and walking without another word off of the stage. I thought for a moment about
following him but I was absolutely fuming. There was no way in hell I was going to go after him
after all that had just passed between us. Instead I went home, I got drunk, and I slept for twelve
hours. I then made sure everything was ready for me to go the following day, checked my door
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to make sure Etienne had left me no notes, went to the theater to have a second go round when I
found nothing on my door only to be told that he was at an appointment, and I went back home
to sleep until the next morning when I was rudely woken up by a hard persistent pounding on my
door. I thought it was the ass coming to apologize and tell me he had, of course, changed his
mind about Venice and I was sure he was pounding like a bastard on the last morning I had to
rest just to annoy me so I was in a rage by the time I got into the sitting room. What the hell do
you want? I demanded as I threw open the door. I was a bit surprised to see two young actors
from the troupe standing there but no less irritated by the early disruption.
It is Monsieur Etienne
Now I smiled though I had no idea why I did. What the hell does he want? He does realize I
have only this morning to sleep before we get ready for the trip to Venice?
No, he doesnthe doesnt want anything
The boy trailed off leaving me to guess at what the hell was going on. Well? What is it
then? What has that damned fool gotten himself into now?
The two boys looked at one another as if trying to silently decide what to say and who
should say it. You seehes missing. And we were hoping that hes been here the past two
days.
My heart lodged firmly in my throat and I could feel my blood chill at this news. Missing?
What the hell do you mean hes missing?
Two evenings ago he finished his lesson with you and he retired to his rooms after having a
quick chat with another member of the cast, the new understudy. That was the last time hes been
seen. He hasnt been heard from around the theater and unless you saw him yesterday
Why the hell did no one come yesterday? Etienne does not miss a day away from the stage!
I came in yesterday and he wasnt there. I was told he had an appointment. No one, absolutely
fucking no one, said he was missing! He doesnt miss a day I was frantically throwing on
clothes right in front of these gilded youths, my door standing wide open as I rummaged through
the things tossed all over the sitting room, barely conscious of what I was putting on my body.
Has anyone gone into his apartment?
People have been up there, theyve knocked, theyve called to him
But no one went in? I questioned, shutting my door behind me.
We were hoping you wouldyou knowjust in case This was the boy who had not
spoken a word as long as they had been there. I turned to him on the stairs and I slapped him
across the face for what he had not said but had certainly implied. Yet I knew no slap could take
away the truth of the situation.
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As we rode to the theater I could think only on the last day I saw him, the way we had
argued and the cold things we said, the certainty in his eyes when he told me he would not come
with me to Venice. I had laughed in his face, hadnt I? Of course I had. And what had I said to
him? Spout some more lies if it makes you feel better but we both know that nothing short of
death will keep you from instructing me on that stage! That was when he walked away. He had
kissed my hand and walked away without a word and I was so angry with him, so completely
pissed off, that I hadnt bothered to follow him. It was just an argument, a battle of wills, no
different than the thousands we had had in the past six years
Arianne? Are you getting out? I blinked at the intrusion of sunlight and this annoying boy.
For a moment I thought of not moving at all, of demanding that I be taken back to my apartment
at once. But I couldnt do that, could I? No. No matter what I found up there, this time I had to
follow Etienne.
The little cowards refused to even go up with me. They retreated into the safety of the
theater while I was left alone to walk clutching the spare key to his door in my sweating palm.
Perhaps he was drunk in some whores bed in one of the worst parts of the city. It wasnt like
him, that was true, but he had seemed so angry with me and Etienne was capable of anything
when he was that full of rage. I held tightly to that hope as I put the key in the lock and turned it
slowly. There was no noise on the other side of the door but if he was in some whores bed there
wouldnt be, would there? So why was I so afraid to simply go inside if that was what I truly
believed?
Etienne, you damned fool, you had better have I stopped just as I crossed the threshold.
The room was dark, the curtains pulled together and the shutters shut up tight, but I could see a
form in his bed. And there was something else. It was a terrible smell, the smell of decay, like a
dead mouse trapped under a sofa that no one notices until it begins to rot. My stomach was in
knots as I forced myself to move forward. Everyone is looking for you, you damned oaf. They
are all worried about you and here you lie in your own bed? The last sentence came out as a
whisper for I had reached his bed and just one brush of my hand on his told me that he was cold.
Cold as ice in fact. Whats more, that horrible smell, that stomach-turning stench, was
overpowering this close to him.
I backed away, moving toward the window. I knew in some part of my mind that could
grasp this that he was dead but I wasnt able to face it yet and I certainly couldnt fathom such a
thing in the darkness. So I opened the curtains and I opened the shutters and I stood with the light
pouring in and my hand clutched to my chest for just a moment. I knew what I would see when I
turned around again and I knew that the image would be burned forever into my mind. Once I
looked I would never be able to erase what I saw. So I savored this last moment of knowing
Etienne only as a living breathing man before I turned slowly toward the bed. I screamed before I
fully took in what I was staring at. There was dark blood, dried blood, all over his crisp white
bed clothes. And his wristsdear god, what had he done in those final moments? It looked as
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though he had carved his own flesh to bits. I had to shut up. If those who waited below heard my
screams they would come and they would take him away and I would never get this chance again
to say a private word to him
I did shut up but my legs, instead of moving, became weak things that could no longer hold
me. I dropped to my knees and I wept but I could not take my eyes off of the horrific sight. He
was dressed in the same clothes he had worn when I watched him walk away and he was sitting
straight up with his dead eyes staring ahead. His mouth was agape but only slightly. Still, it was
enough. Just at that moment I watched a fly make its way into that mouth, that sweet, cruel
mouth, and this was what nearly drove me to hysterics even as it propelled my forward.
Etienne, you fucking fool! You goddamned worthless imbecile! How dare you do this! How
dare you! Yes, you had demons and yes you had your strugglesare you really arrogant enough
to believe that you are the only one? Everyone has their demons, you bastard, and none more
than people like us! The goddamned stage you live on is full of them, the demons that force us to
go and be what we are! None of us would be there without our demons! But you dont see the
rest of us acting like butchers on our own flesh to end it all!
I held his corpse against me even as I let lose all of these horrible things that were raging
through me. Stroking his hair and trying so hard not to look at him at all, not to notice that his
face was sunken in or that the bed was a mess with blood and human filth, I continued on
knowing that this was the last chance I had to tell him what a selfish bastard he was even to the
bitter end. You are my best friend, my own maestro, my confidantso things between us never
could be what you decided now and then that you wantedso what? Are you really so stupid
that you would take your life over that? Of course not. If you didnt do this when your madness
ended your days on the stage, you would have never done this over any rejection from the likes
of me. See? I hear your voice in my mind where my own should be, so close am I to you. You
could have come to me instead. You could have told me about the thoughts in your head and I
would have kept you drunk on wine, angry or amused, occupied, until they passed. I never
thought
I could hear them coming up the stairs, heavy boots, half the damned troupe by the sounds
of it. So I kissed his head and closed my eyes again as I whispered into his ear now deaf, I never
thought you would be weak enough to give up the fight in this way. I will miss you, you bastard.
I will miss my best friend. The famous line from Hamlet was what I was whispering into his
ear, this sweet tragic prince of our world whom the angels probably dared not touch, when they
came in. There were gasps, cries, words that should have meant something only they did not, not
at that moment. I was too busy closing his eyes before they led me away from him.
Are you ever going to speak? Damn those boys, they should never have let you find him in
that way! Hes been your lover, your teacher, all this time. You should not have been the one
sent up there! Madame declared as she filled my glass again with her strong mixture. I dont
remember now how I got to her tavern, who it was that escorted me there, only that I had sat at
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the bar drinking in total silence for the three hours since I came. Now that the tavern was quiet
around us with the early crowd gone and the dinner crowd not yet come, she was trying to get
through to me in her way. You loved him
Now I smiled despite myself. It was a cold smile void of all warmth. I love him as my
friend and my teacher. I was not in love with him. I was never in love with him.
Sometimes the love of your dearest friend, especially if that friend is also your teacher, can
be stronger than the love you feel for someone who has your heart, someone you are in love
with. Dont you think? Madame countered.
I looked up at her, truly looked at her, and from her expression I could gauge how close I
was to the edge of reason. She looked frightened for me and nothing frightened Madame. I
dont know. I dont know anything exceptexcept that in two hours I am supposed to get in a
carriage that will carry me toward a ship bound for Venice so I can perform on a grand stage for
the first time without him and I dont know This was when the sobbing came, the hard
wracking sobs that the protection of being numb had shielded me from. I dont know how I can
do it without him by my side! He is my maestro! He is I had to stop. I couldnt breathe, much
less speak, and as I clutched my fist to my heart I sobbed out, He is a bastard for doing this to
me!
Mademoiselle was summoned as soon as the news broke about Etiennes death. She would
go with me to Venice even though I hadnt needed her, or him for that matter, in a long time. He
always went and I always relied on him to be there. It was as simple as that. But I couldnt deny
my beloved Mademoiselle her desire to try to comfort me. It was she that had my things packed
for me, it was she who sent the coach to get me from the tavern when it was time, and it was she
who came in to force me off the stool when I refused to go. I was belligerent drunk and all I
could think about was the fact that I wouldnt be there when Etienne was buried and I would
never know where they put him because he committed suicide and would be put in an unmarked
grave or much worsestacked atop the nameless others rotting in the sun. Such horror he left
the world in for a man who secretly loved beauty so damned much!

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Chapter 9
I never made it to Venice. I didnt know how Mademoiselle got me out of it but we didnt
make it out of France before our coach was turned around headed back toward Paris. When I got
home I went straight to bed after hearing that I had already missed the funeral and they had,
indeed, put Etienne in an unmarked grave in Les Innocents before my return. But it was not
Etienne that my dreaming mind dwelled on. No. Hour after hour in sleep I was with Luke. I
wasnt always myself in these dreams though I knew it was me as I was in them. Still, he called
me by a different name, a name that my waking mind, when the necessities of being human
forced me out of bed, could not recall. For two weeks everyone left me alone and I never left my
apartment. I ate only stale bread left behind by my roommates and I drank nothing but wine.
These things were not important anymore. I felt like Etiennes death and then my inability to
take that all-important stage in Venice had left me with nothing and so there was, for the first
time since I arrived in Paris, nothing to get out of bed for. And if there is no point in that, I
reasoned with myself, why force yourself into it?
When those who belonged to the world of the living decided that I had played dead long
enough, it was Madame that they sent to drag me back to them. After picking my lock, she came
barreling in, throwing the blankets off of me and physically dragging me out of bed. So this is
what you think you are going to do now? All the years youve worked, everything that everyone
put into you, and you think you will honor the memory of Etienne, a man who did everything he
could to see you succeed, by laying here and dying? She demanded once she had all but carried
me into the sitting room and had forced me onto the sofa. Even as she yelled at me she was going
around the apartment trying to find me something to eat and drink.
I laughed bitterly. Etienne would not be someone who could chastise me for laying here
and dying if I damned well chose to, now would he? He was my teacher after all. Who said that
the only lessons he taught me were on the stage?
I was stunned into silence when she slapped me across the face. You know nothing of the
trials that sweet boy went through before he came to that end and I will be damned if I sit here
and listen to you disrespect him in that way! The reason he had not spoken to his father since he
was fifteen was because his father treated him like he was lower than the dirt upon his feet. And
why did he do this? Because Etiennes mother ran off like the whore she was as soon as Etienne
was born and somehow his father rationalized that as being the fault of a new babe instead of his
own fault for not listening when we all told him she was out every night fucking half of Paris.
Then, when Etienne turned five, the bastard decided that he wasnt his child. It was a reasonable
conclusion. He wasnt. My sister and I know what Etienne never knew. He and Louis were not
only best friends, they were brothers. He was the rightful heir to that throne I suppose but it was
never his to claim because Louiss father had no idea the boy was his. From that point on,
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Etiennes father let the people in the theater raise him. And we did, by god! He loved us and we
loved him! And when he first took to the stage himself we were all proud to see it. But a lifetime
of being told you are nothingwell, youve said it yourself to our dear Louis. You know what it
does! Having a madwoman for a mother passing down her insanity helped nothing. It is amazing
he went so long before coming to this end! Now all of this may sound like nothing to you
because Ive skipped over what I promised him I would never tell but I assure you, though Im
still furious with him for what hes done, I can understand why he did it. You are not that far
gone and I will not stand back and watch another child I love die by her own damned hand! Do
you understand me?
It was her tears that broke me. She meant it, everything she said to me. And she was
entitled to it because she had become my mother in every sense of the word. She was the answer
to a little girls prayers, the light in my darkness, and all I had to do was call up the expression
she now wore the next time I told myself I had no reason to get up again. I wrapped my arms
around her and whispered my apologies until I was hoarse with them. We spent the day crying
together for the man we lost and then she made me come with her to the tavern. The first thing
she did was get me into a bathtub of hot water before she fed me and gave me enough alcohol to
make me feel almost human without allowing me to slip into a proper drunk. That was when she
started talking to me about returning to the theater. I cant go back. I said firmly. Not after I
abandoned the show in Venice and ruined the tour. Etienne already told me five years ago what
happens when you dont meet your obligations. They make you refund them for the money they
put up and for their troubles. I doubt Philippe is stupid enough to have me back.
You abandoned nothing, ma cherie. I sent them word that your husband died. Everything
was rescheduled for the summer season. You have three months to get well, you see? I worked it
all out. And I have already talked to Philippe. He has no objections to you returning to the
Comdie-Franaise in your usual position in the meantime. And why would he? You have given
that place a name unlike anything it had before. He is not completely stupid. Mademoiselle
hadnt even made her presence known until she interjected with that. It would have been hard
enough to fight one alone but to fight both of the women who had done so much for me? That
was an impossible task that I did not have the strength for.
I suppose you have a date set up for my return as well? I questioned with a smile.
Of course. You go back tomorrow morning. I will be your teacher until you quit or I finally
die, whatever happens first. While we were away it seems that there was a change in
management but the new man is an old friend of ours. He will give us no trouble. In fact, I doubt
we will see much of him. He is too afraid of me to bother you. You dont need a constant
reminder of Etiennes absence right now and while this friend is nice enough, his appearance in
Etiennes position would be just that. Tonight you will stay here and I will send a coach to get
you first thing in the morning. Francine will make sure you are ready. Madame nodded as if to
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say she would indeed. I was cornered so I went up to bed to prepare myself for my first day at
our theater without my best friend at my side.
Over the course of the next month I worked non-stop. There was no one driving me to
spend fourteen hours at the Comdie-Franaise, not anymore. I did it because being on that stage
made me feel as if I had a piece of Etienne with me and because being there beat the hell out of
being home. I was there before Mademoiselle arrived in the morning and I was there hours after
she was gone each night. I was sure I was ready for Venice as far as the acting went but I wasnt
sure I could even think of the place without thinking of that last fight between Etienne and me,
without thinking of that last journey where all I could focus on was a missed funeral and an
unmarked grave. So I didnt think of Venice at all. Instead I memorized all of the new tragedies
as fast as they could arrive and I worked them out until I was ready to drop on the stage. It was
as if a part of me knew already that I would never see that stage in Venice that I had heard so
much about.
At the end of May, just two weeks before I was supposed to embark on the biggest tour of
my career, I left the theater one night around three a.m. I remember an eerie feeling washing over
me as I stepped into the warm night, so still and silent around me. And then I heard voices close
by but this wasnt totally out of the ordinary. Even in those days cities like Paris never
completely slept. It wasnt until I began to walk that I felt a knot in my stomach and before I
could pick up my pace, I was knocked face down onto the cobbled sidewalk. I tried to scream
over and over and each time I was rewarded with a punch to my face. There was only one man at
first but then two others, maybe three, joined him and they were carrying me away from the
theater, from the people who might have heard me scream and come to my rescue. I tried to pay
attention to what I saw as they walked but all I knew for sure when we stopped was that we
hadnt gone far. Suddenly I was thrown down hard and as I looked up I knew we were in the
alley that ran to the theater only now we were on the opposite endthe end young women were
warned against this time of night. I got a good look at the man as he forced my underthings away
from my body and I remembered thinking, after I tried to scream and was rewarded by a boot in
my face from one of his friends, that if I just laid there he would rape me and leave and I would
live. That was all I wanted at that momentto live. It wasnt until he drove himself into me that
the full realization of what was happening was made clear for me.
The pain, the degradation, the shame of what was happening to me grew with every thrust,
with every grunt the bastard gave on top of me, with every word of encouragement that his
friends cheered him on with, until I could do nothing but weep silent tears and pray that it would
all end. Finally he got off of me but instead of leaving me alone I heard something that sounded
familiar, something I couldnt recognize yet I knew I had heard it before Chancing a brave
look up I saw the unmistakable gleam of metal in the moonlight and I realized that the sound was
a knife being unsheathed. No, I thought, surely these men wont stand around and watch this sick
bastard kill me. Finally the biggest one, the man who had kicked me in the face the last time I
tried to scream, did speak up in protest but it wasnt to save my life. No. He was arguing with his
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friend because he wanted a turn at raping me before his friend began to cut. Christ, they were
still arguing this point when I felt the first pinch of the blade entering my lower stomach and the
shock took but a moment to fade as the full force of the pain and the knowledge that if I simply
laid there I was going to die hit me at once. I started screaming as I have never screamed before
in my life, I screamed until I thought I would wake up the whole city, and as the pain grew not
even a fist in my face could make me shut up. Let them beat me, I thought, because if I shut up
Im dead.The last thing I saw before I passed out was a group of men approaching behind the
butchers back and I could only pray that they had come to help because there was nothing left in
me that could fight anymore.
It felt like I spent an eternity in darkness punctuated by brief moments when I would open
my eyes and see Madame begging me to pull through or sleeping in a chair in the corner of a
room. There was so much pain that I did not wish to stay long in such moments. I knew that
there were times when I screamed for Luke. He had told me once that no matter how far I was,
no matter where I had gone in the world, if ever I was in trouble all I had to do was call out to
him and he would hear me. But he existed now only in my dreams. There were dreams of us the
way I was, as Arianne, and then there were others where I was Charlotte. Yes! She was the other
me. There was so much I knew I had to tell him. She hadnt betrayed him out of cold
indifference. She loved him just as I loved him because I had once been her. No, they said they
would hunt him, that they would kill him, and I didnt know what he was but I knew he wasnt
human. I led them to slaughter. I led them straight to him knowing he would kill them all and
that he might kill me as well but he would be free to go even if I had to give my life to save his
own. The dreams were never ending. They were my reality and the horrible pain, the burning of
my skin, Madames furious prayers, those were an illusion
I was awake for three whole days before Madame felt I was ready to hear the story. I had
been unconscious for weeks, burning with infection from my wound, and she had used every
herb she knew after she sewed up my wound with a sewing needle and thread to try to break my
fever. I had been raped and she believed that she knew what the man was after when he cut into
me. It wasnt my death alone he sought. He was trying to harvest my organs to sell to the
physicians around the city who paid good money for the organs of the dead. The son of a bitch
didnt have the guts to go into the cemetery and get them that way but he could stomach murder.
The men who saved me had taken me to the theater because they knew of me. It seemed they
knew me from Pierres theater, they remembered me, and they beat upon the doors screaming
that someone had killed la petite beaut until the new manager came out to see what was going
on. He had no idea where to take me. A hospital would have let me die, assuming I could not be
saved with a wound like that. So he brought me to Madame with barely a heartbeat. She sewed
the wound from the inside out, worked to get the fever down, and never left my side. My sweet
MadameAll of my brushes with death could not compare with this. Yet I was left with only
fleeting glimpses of that terrible pain. Most of my memories were of darkness and the sweetest
dreams
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You called for him, sweet girl. You yelled his name over and over again until it nearly
broke my heart. So I wrote that friend of yours, Cherise? But the letter came back to me. I asked
the man at the post if he knew the reason. He said the village claims she left. But thats not
possible. Surely she would not just leave in that way and send you no word. I was going to
writeyour man but I wasnt sure. I didnt want to write in case you didnt approve of me
sending word to him. Probably I should have. He deserved to know. I couldnt believe that she
doubted a single decision she made during my illness when I was alive only because she saved
me.
No, you were right not to send word to him. If Cherise is gone, he is gone as well. I
replied softly. Oh, it hurt me to the core to think on it! The idea of surviving something so
horrible only to find out that I would never see Luke again! But I couldnt let this show. After
what I had been through? If he was gone, he was gone. So said my brain. My heart did not
believe a word of that.
No, he isnt. She replied in a way that left no room for doubt.
How do you know that if you didnt contact him? I questioned.
Because Isabelle came in just a week ago with the money he sent you asking if I thought
you would be angry with her for spending it on food. The girls havent gone out to work since
you were attacked. They are terrified. Some of the regulars are coming to your apartment but its
not steady money like it usually isWell, youve lived with them long enough to know how
things are. Anyway, he sent the money the same as he always does and it arrived from the same
village. Hes not gone.
I wasnt sure how it was possible but even after all the time I spent sleeping I still felt
exhausted and this conversation was absolutely draining. After assuring Madame that all was
well, that she had done the right thing from start to finish, and that I owed her my life, I drifted
into sleep. I dreamed again of Luke but this time wasnt like the others. It was as if I was really
seeing him, alone in the turret waiting for someone to come and rescue him from the danger he
didnt have sense enough to run from
It took two months for me to heal completely. Those two months were hell. I felt helpless as
I had to test the boundaries of my strength all the time to see what I could handle. I felt hatred
and fury course through me despite the strong drug Madame gave me as she removed the stitches
in my stomach and I saw for the first time the mark that would be there forever to remind me of
that horrible night. Worst of all, even though I was at the tavern and I saw the people I had
grown to love over the years every single day, I felt lonely, desperately lonely. Then at night the
dreams would come of Luke and I would feel the fear and the danger all around him until I
couldnt stand to sleep anymore. Perhaps subconsciously I knew all along that I was pushing
myself so hard to get better so I could go to him as soon as I was able but it wasnt until a dream
I had in the final days of summer that I knew for sure that I would go back immediately. In the
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meantime I was recovering physically as every attempt to leave the safety of the tavern sent me
into a panic and right back in the door. Three months after my attack I had gone no further than
the sidewalk right outside Madames place. I was having nightmares about my attack far more at
that point than I was dreaming of Luke. I began to fear that they would come in one night and
kill us all, that they had tracked me to Madames, and they wouldnt rest until they had finished
the job. Perhaps I never would have left the tavern again had it not been for the desperate cry I
heard early one morning and the terrible dream that followed.
Cherise was screaming for me as I stood beside the purple roses, screaming that they had
Luke, that he was dying. I tried to follow her voice but each time I got close it moved further
away. Still, I ran on toward the castle, toward the back door, and it wasnt until I saw Luke that I
realized the sun was still up. There he was on his knees clutching his heart and I was frozen in
place, helpless to stop it as he turned to ashes before my eyes. His horrible screams at the end
chilled my blood but the worst part was that I could still hear them long after I opened my eyes.
As I watched the sun come up slowly outside the window that had become as familiar in my
infirmary as any other I had known before, I knew that before the sun set I would be on my way
to that place I was once banished from for the first time in over seven years and I would not
leave this time without the man I loved at my side.

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Chapter 10
Well, I assumed you would go back to him but are you sure that youre ready? Youve had
such ahardtimeof things. You dont want to ride too hard and rip open that wound. If you
rip that damned thing open half way between here and your villagewell, I dont need to tell
you how bad that would be. And I hate to bring this up, my girl, but you havent stepped foot off
this street since you were attacked. Are you absolutely sure you are ready to do this? Madame
fired all of this at me one worry after the next. It had taken me all day to work up the nerve to tell
her I was leaving and to ask her for a horse. But by mid-afternoon when I did tell her, I was
determined that nothing was going to stop me if I had to walk the whole way. When I replied as
much, she only shook her head. Of course you can take a horse. Pick one. There are three out
there right now. You be safe, damn it, and I will see you when you return.
Kissing her on the cheek, I smiled. I didnt have the heart to tell her that I wasnt going to
return. I would write her in a few weeks and let her know the only way I could. Paris had been
more than generous with goodbyes since my arrival and I did not have the heart to face another
one. When it came to picking the horse that would take me back, I gave it no thought. I took the
first one in the row and even though I hadnt been on the back of a steed since I rode into the city
nearly a decade earlier, it was nothing to take off slowly until I was far enough away from
Madame to where I could push up to a run.
I remembered the way to Lukes massive estate by heart. I needed no map to find my way
home and it was no surprise since I had traveled from my Paris apartment to that place every
night in my mind since I left it. I rode like hell to get there, sometimes feeling as if there was
urgency beyond my love that spurred me on. It was as if all of those I loved were in danger and
to fight the feeling I rode a bit harder into the wind. The dream had shaken me, of course it had,
but it was more than that. For everything I had seen and done I would have traded it all to have
spent the last seven years where I belonged in the first place. When dusk began to fall and I was
not so far from my little village I slowed down a bit. I was lost in thought as I took in the almost
familiar sights around me and I pondered on the girl I had been when I first came to him, the girl
I was when I left. She was gone, I knew. Her softness had been roughed up by the time she spent
grieving, working, only to end up at the mercy of cutthroats and thieves. I only hoped I had a
little of that softness left to give to the man I had fought so hard to have.
When I arrived the entire estate was dark. I could sense no one as I dismounted and I could
only hope that Luke had kept his word about staying as I twisted the door knob and let myself
inside. Hello? Mother? Cherise? Cook? I called out as I walked almost silently up the stairs.
No matter how softly I walked, the sound of my steps echoed around me without any noise to
block them. When I reached the third floor I did not stop thinking that perhaps everyone had
settled into their bedchambers even though there were hours left before dawn. I knocked on all
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the doors only to be greeted with nothing. Something was driving me toward the steps to the
turret. This was one place I hoped never to enter again, my one memory of it so heartbreaking
that I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and refused at first to go forth. Then I heard a sound like
a chair scraping wood that compelled me to walk. I felt almost as if all of the faith I had kept in
my former lover was resting on what I found above me.
My heart lurched and those old butterflies flooded my stomach when I realized that Luke was
indeed sitting in the same leather chair that had once been downstairs in the library. The room
looked so much as it had the night he sent me away that I had to close my eyes against all that I
felt. The candles all in a row around the stones under the windows, the moonlight streaming in,
but this was nothing like that. This time I was coming home. When I opened my eyes I knew that
a view of the back of Lukes head wasnt what I had come for so I moved slowly trying to gently
disturb his watch of the world below. He actually jumped when he saw me before him and for a
moment I was afraid because he looked as if he didnt recognize me. I realized that, though
vampires do not physically show the signs of age and hard times, they do carry the proof of such
things in their eyes and it makes them look strange, like old people with young faces. He looked
that way to me now and it pained me so much to see it. If you watched me ride up why didnt
you come down to meet me?
I thought you were another ghost. He said simply. This wasnt how I expected our great
reunion to be but I could think of nothing that I had waited so long to say and something about
him warned me not to try to touch him.
Where are the others? I asked simply.
They have gone, Arianne. They left a month ago, perhaps more. The villagers are talking
about us, whispering things about gathering mobs to get to the bottom of their curiosity, all
human nonsense but it is just the sort of human nonsense that makes vampires pack up and go;
our reminder that we cant stay too long, that we are always unwanted guests.
And you? Why the hell didnt you go with them? I asked, that feeling of danger flooding
my senses again, the memory of that horrible dream returning.
I promised I would wait for you to come home, didnt I? Everything had been said as he
continued to stare as if he were waiting for the people to come with torches blazing at any
moment.
I took a chance, not caring about his reaction as I moved forward and kneeled down in front
of him. I took his hand despite his resistance and it was only then that he finally looked at me.
And now I have and you cant even look at me. You are treating me like a stranger. After seven
years I would have thought you might have missed me a little more than that.
Has it been as long as that? How old are you now?
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At this I stood up once more and began to pace. Of all the things that I could think of that we
should be discussing in that moment, my age was not among them. I am twenty-five, an old
maid by the standards of our world. Now
And did you have some good times while you were gone? I heard that youve been working
as an actress since you left. Did you enjoy it? Did it go well?
Yes, yes, it was all grand. Lucania
So why did you give it up?
At this I stopped and again I was in front of him only to find him watching the damned
night. I hadnt intended to bring it up, but since he asked I thought perhaps the story might work
well in getting his attention. Because a few months ago, as I was coming out of the theater, a
man ambushed me. He raped me and then he took out a knife and he began cutting my stomach.
It was because of my screams that I lived. Men came from down the street and they got him
away from me. I still have a scar that runs deep on my stomach. It is strange, my scar. It turns
purple and aches each time it rains. I was later told that the man was attempting to take out my
organs because there are physicians around Paris who are paying good money for human parts to
do their research on. I suppose he was too frightened of the cemeteries and the work involved to
go in search of someone already a corpse.
His eyes were certainly focused on me now and I damned them to hell for the red tears
within. I had told him what happened because I was mad at him for not holding me tight and
whispering again and again how much he had yearned for me since I had gone. That was what I
wanted. Not the pity and the heartbreak he showed me now. I decided some time ago that I
would never weep again for what had happened on that terrible night. So it was for him and the
words he spoke next that I told myself the tears were coming. I am so sorry! Oh, my sweet little
onehow could someone hurt you? How could anyone Casting his head down he all but
whispered, Do you blame me for it, because I made you go?
No! Why would you think that? Of course I dont blame you! I am glad that you made me
go, I am glad that you made me live. You were right. I look back on the girl I was and I knew
nothing of the world. What happened to me might have been the bitterest lesson Ive learned but
it wasnt the only one. I had good things happen too. The Nouvelles Ordinaires and Gazettes de
France had articles on me last summer. They called me the most sought after talent of the
season. Ive been on stages all over Europe, large stages, famous places. For a small time I knew
what it was like to be a sensation, to be unstoppable, to be loved even if the sort of love I got
from the stage wasnt real. And it was beautiful. I wasnt lying. I meant every word of it and I
smiled even through my tears at the memories.
Then why in hells name did you come back here to this place? He asked in frustration. I
thought the answer would have been plain to him and it hurt me that it wasnt.
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Because, you bastard, I still love you. Every triumph, every failure, I wanted you there.
When I took the stage I scanned the crowd each time to see if you were there. I knew you read
my letters to Cherise, that you knew what was happening, and I thought you would at least come
to see it if only for a night. I knew you came to Paris when the script of Ariane was left at the
theater where I worked. Damn it, I wanted you to come and take me to a party so the men would
know I wasnt just some mad shrew, that I did have someone who loved me completely. But
each morning I went back to my apartment you paid for alone and disappointed. When I did take
someone home with me I did it to ease the loneliness you left inside of me. It was always the
same man and though he was my friend I went to bed with him because sometimes he looked
like you! Just as I said you would, Luke, you haunted me everywhere I went. Do you know that
when I lay nearly dying trying to fight illness with my wound sewed up by a seamstresss hand,
it was for you that I cried out again and again? I needed you at my side and I thought that
somehow you might hear me. I dreamed of you every night and all day long when I was sick.
Now I have lived and it almost killed me. And I am tired of loving a ghost. I waited not a month
or a year but almost a decade and I want to be home with you. We almost lost this chance, you
damned fool, so you had better savor it and hold me like you should have when I first came in!
I expected some sort of argument from him like he had often given me in the past but instead
he got up and he finally wrapped his cold, hard arms around me. In that moment I felt as if I had
never left them. I simply wrapped my own arms around his waist and I let him hold me just a
little too tight once more. The tears that flowed from me in that moment were for every night I
had missed him, every night I wanted only to sleep in his arms, since I had gone. I never
thought you would come back. I thought you would forget our love and marry a man, have
children. If I had thought that this was really
Shh. Dont do that, my love. Dont regret yesterday when I am in your arms. Weve waited
too long for this. I replied and I actually laughed for the first time in months when he picked me
up and carried me down the stairs to his bedchamber.
Laying me softly on his bed, he told me to wait as he went back up for a candelabrum. But I
got up as soon as he was out the door, opening his thick dark curtains and his shutters to the
night. All the time I spent with him in this room I could never remember seeing them open. It
was as if he were hell bent on keeping himself trapped in the dark even when there was light
available to him. Well, I had had enough of that as well. He had stayed behind when it wasnt
safe just to see me home and that said enough about how he had felt without me there. In the past
when I had been younger he had always done his best to take care of me and the others as well.
Now that I had this second chance at life I decided that I would tend to him as he needed tending
to. We would have one night of love and on the morrow we would go to the rest of the family,
where ever he had sent them. He had people, I was sure, that would tidy up his loose ends for
him. So no matter what the stubborn bull of a man said about it
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I felt his arms come around my waist distracting me at once. It was the first time he had ever
been able to sneak up on me. In the past I could always feel it when he walked into a room.
What are you thinking on so intently? He asked, his cheek resting against my head.
Nothing we need to bother with tonight. I replied as I turned to him with a smile. I wanted
his touch, his hard skin pressed to mine. I wanted all that I had missed for so long. I wanted to
have him weave a spell around me that was so complete that for one night I could forget all that
had happened and all that may come.
And so I shall. He whispered, leading me again to the bed. Moving aside all of the bed
curtains, he guided me onto the mattress with movements so graceful they would make a dancer
envious. Climbing into bed beside of me, he kissed me sweetly before he began to undress me.
You know, many people now believe that there was no romance in my world, that in the Greece
of my birth no one loved like this. But they are wrong. I saw some women who were treated
almost like goddesses by the men who adored them, given lavish gifts and sweet words. I saw
women who were nearly worshipped
Isnt it true that most of the boys visited a brothel before they ever saw a marriage bed? I
asked with a sigh, for the way that he was gently caressing the skin he had exposed took my
breath away.
He laughed at that. You read too much, my love. Yes, that was true enough but the women
we found there were the best teachers of romance. Romance was their art in those days and there
were many married women who envied our teachers because they received in abundance what
many women with husbands would never know. And I am not talking about this. He said as he
gently caressed my nipple. I am talking about this. And again he kissed me, this time deeply,
lovingly. They never knew what it was to be loved completely, to be worshiped by a man who
sees nothing good in a day or a night without them. Cupping the back of my neck and looking
straight into my eyes, he said softly, Ive seen nothing good in a single night without you,
Arianne. I sent you away for your own good, yes, but also perhaps to teach you a lesson, that it
was not my world that you belonged in. However, it was I who was taught a lesson. And if you
still want it, I know now that I will give you what you wanted before you left. Perhaps not right
away but in time, before it is too late, it will be yours. I will then spend the rest of eternity loving
you, worshiping you, just as I do tonight no matter where our paths may lead us.
My heart was pounding at his words, at the feel of his touch, and each part of my skin that he
exposed felt like a giving over of the hard edges I had been forced to develop to survive. When
he got to my scar, he touched it gently rubbing his fingers over it lightly before he said, I could
make it disappear, you know. Just a few drops of blood and it would be gone.
I considered his offer only briefly before I told him no. It is my reminder of the past,
Lucania. It serves as proof of who the real beasts are in case I should ever forget. I want to keep
it, at least until you decide its time to turn me.
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He must have accepted this because he went back to his work, his cold fingers setting my
skin on fire. When he had me naked, I wanted to do the same with him. But he wouldnt hear of
it as he moved between my legs doing things with his mouth that I couldnt recall him ever
trying before. I felt like I was riding on a wave and each time I crashed to the shore I begged to
be left alone only to find another wave coming again and again. Finally, when I was sure that I
could take no more, he did stop and I opened my eyes to find him on his knees taking off his nice
white shirt and leather leggings. He smiled and I smiled in return but as he moved toward me I
felt fear well up inside of me; terrible, icy fear. He was the first man to touch me like this since
the assault, the first man I would grant such access to. I had thought nothing of this until I found
myself so afraid of him, this man that loved me, this man who would never do me harm, that I
pushed him away. I was so angry with myself, with that unknown bastard who was probably
walking free on the streets of Paris by now, and when I sat up I closed my eyes because I didnt
want to see the look of pain and disappointment that I imagined my love now wore.
He took me in his arms and I realized that I had forgotten that this was no ordinary man.
Amongst his many talents he was also a mind reader and he knew everything. You do not need
to be upset. There is no reason for you to feel shame. You have done nothing at all to be ashamed
of! We need go no further tonight if you would rather we didnt. Just when I thought he was
through he added, I am only doing this for you anyway. I wanted only to hold you and talk the
night away but I know your appetites so I thought I had better get this out of the way now.
I couldnt help but laugh at him. No matter how bad something hurt, he could always make
me laugh through it if only for a moment. You are an impossible ass. You know that? I asked
as I looked at him. I knew in that moment that he would make a trip to Paris soon. He had the
image of the man from my mind and he would find him and when he did I could have asked
him not to. But even I am not that selfless.
I knew this girl once who used to share your opinion on that. She was beautiful, that girl,
but not nearly as grand as you. She left here about seven years agoshe would probably be a
woman by nowand for a moment just a little bit ago I thought I saw her in your eyes. So what
do you say we lay down and I will tell you about how our family faired after you left us and you
can tell me everything that happened to that girl I used to know.
For hours that is just what we did. He told me how still the house seemed after I left, how
Cook and Cherise moped about for months without me, and he told me of the way that Mother
had refused to speak to him for an entire year communicating through the others if she had
something to say. They never forgave him, he said, and Cherises letters had told me much the
same. In return I told him of my first days in Paris, of going to the theater one night only to be
stopped by the little Frenchman who changed my life in the city, the man who told me I was
beautiful and if I could be an actress he would love to put me in a show. I told him of my teacher
but not Mademoiselle as I came to know her. I told him instead of how she first seemed to me,
the strange old woman who told me her great-grandmother had studied the art under Isabella
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Andreini, and how confident she made me in my abilities even before I had reason to be. He
listened to it all with great interest, even commenting that he had once met Isabella after a show
when he was passing through Paris a century before. I also told him of all my time at the
Comdie-Franaise. There was much I was sure he knew but I told him of it anyway. And just
before dawn came to carry us off to sleep I told him of my dreams, how I knew that I was
Charlotte, and I told him the reason she brought the townspeople to him that night, so long ago. I
expected him to call me mad or, worse, to believe me and throw me out. Instead he whispered, I
know. Ive known you were her since I first laid eyes on you. So it was with the perfection of
total peace that I went to sleep in his arms with the darkness of his room wrapped tight around
us.
I woke up screaming with sheens of sweat covering my body. I had been back in that alley
with the bastard pounding away on top of me, I had felt again the pain and the horror as his knife
drove into my skin, and the complete darkness of Lukes bed did nothing to clear my mind. But
when his arms came around me I knew that I was safe, that it had been only another nightmare.
No human man could feel as he felt. No human flesh could be so cold. I was grateful for it as I
pressed my face against the crook of his arm. He was whispering something in the old Greek that
was his native tongue and though I could only make out pieces of what he said, it sounded like a
spell. When he kissed my forehead I smiled and when he whispered, You will never wake in
terror again, sweet girl. This I promise you. I believed him completely. Soon I was back to sleep
and just as he said, there were no terrors of the night that woke me.
The next three nights we spent in perfect bliss. The books had gone with the others so there
was no library to entertain us. The piano remained but just as Monsieur Moreau had once told
me, Luke had composed only the most heartbreaking music since I had been gone and he refused
to play a single song for me. I agreed to go into town with him for supper only after he promised
that the theater remained, finally telling me that he had purchased it himself to keep Monsieurs
legacy alive after his death, yet I had no desire to step foot in it. No, that would have hurt too
much. So long as I saw it with the old sign still in place I could pretend that my dear friends were
inside preparing their actors for another busy weekend and I was content with that. Aside from
our nightly trips in to the village so I might eat, we had only each other and the grounds to
entertain us. As I said, it was perfect bliss. After that first night I was able to receive his touch in
full and it was as if it had awakened something inside of me that Etienne could have never done.
I rarely thought of my old friend in those nights. I was too wrapped up in the present to spare a
thought for the past. While I am sure Etiennes ghost might have understood, I did wonder from
time to time if Madame was fraught with worry when I didnt write to her immediately following
my departure. I started to entertain the idea that perhaps on the way to meet the others we could
stop by the tavern. I knew when she saw me with Luke she would understand why I could not
stay. But again, I gave all of this only a passing thought.
I had started to think that he had imagined all of his fears about the townspeople. Sure, they
looked at him in a way that was stranger than I remembered but there was nothing in their
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demeanor when we went into town to suggest that they were planning something against him. He
pretended to eat with me, slowly slipping the food on to the floor. In taverns at that time it would
have been very hard to tell one mess from another on their hard wood floors. People were drunk
and messy and no one bothered overmuch with cleanliness. By the time the floors were swept at
the end of the night it would have been impossible to tell Lukes dinner from the rest. He drank
in earnest, wine usually, and I thought this was all well for keeping up an appearance of
normalcy. However, once I caught the glimpse of a man I grew up with whispering something to
the tavern owner, an old friend of my fathers, and he was looking right at us. There was
something in his eyes as they settled on Luke that made me break out in goose bumps. I got up at
once and left behind my meal because I wanted only to have Luke safe at home once more. That
was the third night after my arrival, our last night of bliss.
The following evening Luke awoke in a jovial mood, something that was rare for him. It
seemed as if our nights together were taking from him the strain that was so clear in his eyes the
night I returned. I was glad for that. It was late August and soon our time of warm weather and
summer dreams would again come to an end. With his windows open to the breeze outside, he
looked so beautiful, so mortal as he stood looking out at the night, and for a moment I found my
breath hitching a bit at the breathtaking creature who had so claimed me and whom I had
claimed as much as anyone ever would in return. Are you up for a bit of play, my sweet little
Arianne? It is too nice out there to laze around in here tonight.
Wrapping my dressing gown around me, I went over to him and I wrapped my arms around
him as I rested my cheek against his back. I had never felt anything like the love that welled up
inside of me for him and I wanted us to stay forever just as we were in that moment. Let the trials
and strains of life go on outside our world but inside the bit of land he claimed, I wanted a magic
that would keep us safe and protected for all time, loving one another in ways that would seem
impossible to most. When the time came, it would not be his blood that would hold us together
but the love that was so much our magic. What did you have in mind?
I think we should go down to the gardens and enjoy ourselves a while. And dont bother
dressing. You look radiant just as you are. If it pleases you, you should go on out. I will meet you
there in just a little while.
This carefree abandon was not like him at all but I rather enjoyed the change in him so I did
as he had asked, going outside and breathing in the scent of summer as it surrendered to the fall.
It was the scent of Lukes sweet roses that came to me with the wind and I smiled as I followed
the smell. He had the only roses I had ever seen around our village and when I asked him about
them once, he told me they were his favorite flower and that they were quite common in the
Greek gardens of his youth, that his own mother had hundreds of them. He loved them because
they reminded him of home and I loved them because they reminded me of him. As I walked to
the bushes that were a little distance from the back steps, I looked up at the moon to see that it
was crystal clear but for a strange red ring around it. I knew there were old folk tales surrounding
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this but I thought no more of them as I reached my destination. Instead I buried my nose into the
fragrance I had also come to associate with home.
These roses (for he had many sorts growing throughout the gardens) were my favorite. I
loved them most for their peculiarity as I had never heard of anything like them and their oddity
was apparent at first glance. For, instead of being a rose of a normal color of the time, this rose
was purple. Not a dark purple but rather a soft lavender color. Luke had told me once that the
seeds had come from the Orient and I had often dreamed of having a garden one day filled with
these flowers. They outlasted the rest holding on until October came, they smelled unlike
anything I had ever known, and their color was unbelievably beautiful. They were the roses that
reminded me of loves first kiss. But I was startled out of my study of them by a rustling sound
on the other side of the bush before me. For a moment I was frightened and I couldnt understand
why but I suddenly thought of the moon. Then I heard my lovers laughter and I smiled at my
foolishness.
Suddenly Luke was before me, no doubt moving at the speed reserved for his kind, and in
his hand he held a single purple rose. Bowing to me in a courtly fashion he said, A petite beaut
for my petite beaut. These blooms are beautiful but not nearly as beautiful as you, my love. I
took it and I kissed him on the cheek for the gift. Now, as I once heard it, you make quite the
Juliet in Shakespeares play of tragic love. Indeed I was told that this was your signature part
back in Paris and that it was something to see. Since I never had the chance to see you on the
stage and I myself once belonged to a culture that was a bit famous for its abilities to entertain, I
think we should do it. The terrace should make for a suitable stage and when it comes time, the
turret will make a nice enough balcony. When I said nothing, trying to decide if he were
actually serious, he gave me a gentle push toward the stone stairs I had recently come down and
the terrace that would now be my stage. Go on. No need to have stage freight. You do only the
part of Juliet. I will do the rest.
Then I am afraid you will be quite winded by the closing act. I replied.
So it is good then that I do not breathe. He replied with a smile.
It did not take me long after we began this mad childlike act to realize that it was a blessing
he had never come to see me on a Paris stage. It seemed he could not make it through a single
part without chasing me around the yard for a kiss or for the sport of it alone. At one point when
he caught me, he knocked me off balance by accident and I landed softly on the grass with a
laugh. Still holding my purple flower tight in my hand, I said breathlessly as he covered my body
with his own, Oh no, Romeo. You mustnt. You shall crush my tender flower with such brutish
behavior.
Kissing me for probably the twentieth time, he laughed. Ah, my sweet Juliet, the weight of
my love will not crush the precious flower but rather it will make it bloom and open up to the
night. And I watched in astonishment as the rose did open right before my eyes. When I tried to
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ask him how he had managed it I got only a wink in response as he urged me to stop playing and
get back to work.
For all of our fun, for all of our play, there was inside of me a feeling of dread that I could
not shake. I was merry enough, happier in that night than I could ever recall being before, so it
made no sense that I should feel a cold chill shoot down my spine when I walked inside to climb
my way to the turret for the infamous balcony scene. I told myself it was nonsense, this feeling
of doom. I had been through quite a bit and I had also been worried for the safety of our fortress
since I returned with all of Lukes talk about the villagers. So I told myself that it was just these
troubles that led to the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. When I reached the turret and I
opened the one window that would open in the whole space, I smiled to see my Romeo standing
impatiently below me. My dear Juliet, if I had known you had to travel miles to answer me, I
would have called another time. What took you so long? Never mind. Let me go behind the
bushes here
My eyes had focused beyond him, beyond the edges of the roses, on what looked like forty
or more torches coming our way. I wanted to scream out, to tell Luke to look behind, but my
voice caught in my throat. I could hear him asking me what was the matter, telling me I looked
like I had seen a ghost, but all I could do was point at this horror as it came nearer to us. At first
he could see nothing but I knew he could smell what I smelled. Fire. In moments the bastards,
some on horseback and many more on foot, were setting fire to our precious roses and despite
what I was watching it did occur to me that in my hand I now held the last member of the
beautiful bushes I had so recently admired. Some of the men had cut through the greenery before
they set fire to it all and they were already approaching my love. I watched, stunned, motionless,
as they came closer and closer to him and then at last the panic hit me and finally I could move.
And I did. I ran as fast as I ever had down the four flights of stairs between me and the door and
as I ran around the terrace to the back I could see them all. These were men I knew, men that had
known me since girlhood. And in that moment I could have killed them all with my bare hands
for their stupidity and not given them a second thought when I was through!
I heard Luke trying to reason with one man as the rest, at least thirty from my quick
estimation, stood around in a circle with their guns, their knives, and their fire. Their guns and
knives worried me not because they could do Lucania no real harm. But the fire? The fire scared
the hell out of me. I tried to stand back and let Luke attempt to talk sense into these fools but I
knew it was all useless. They were not going to listen because they hadnt the desire to. This was
how they would prove to that joke of a place we came from that they were men, by destroying
the beast and his fortress and going home to tell the story over and over again until on their
deathbeds they confessed to all how they had actually been cowards and how the beast was
actually a man so beautiful that women wept to look upon him. Well, not tonight, I decided. Let
them take their blood thirst elsewhere. Listen here, all of you, youve made fools of yourselves
enough for one night and youve managed to destroy the most beautiful flowers in all of France
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while you were at it. Now, get the hell out of here before this goes any further. You do not want
to wage war here! Go!
I was surprised when everyone shut up but no one moved. Luke was telling me to stay back
and keep quiet, that he would handle everything, but then I heard another voice, one I
recognized, coming from the crowd. It was the man my sister had introduced as her fianc at the
ball and he came forward at once saying, Look at you! My own sister by law and you stand here
against your townsfolk beside of this beast to defend him! You are a whore just as your sister
said!
Luke was going to go for him then but I didnt give him the chance. I saw red at his words
and I flew off those stairs to show him just how pissed off I was. Slapping him hard across the
face, I seethed, You only wish that were true. May I remind you of your words to me at the ball,
of the way you tried to force yourself upon me, you bastard!
Before I could move to escape the blow, he punched me in the face and knocked me off my
balance so that I landed on the ground. When I looked up, I saw Luke lunge toward the men and
then I saw what I had feared the most. They were stabbing him repeatedly and still he charged
on, his wounds healing as soon as they were inflicted proving before the crowd that he was not
human. He is a beast! A monster! screamed one man as he shot him in the chest with his
musket only to see that wound heal like the rest. That is when they came at him with the torches.
In an instant I was on my feet putting myself between my love and the danger that awaited him. I
did not care if they hurt me, if they killed me. They would not destroy this beautiful man while I
watched on. I dont clearly remember being stabbed. I had finally made it in between Luke and
the crowd just as they were close enough to burn him and I was shoving at anyone who came
close as he was trying to shove me out of the way. Suddenly I heard Luke scream as I felt a pinch
right under my left breast and then another right beside of it. I couldnt breathe and when I tried
to move, I fell. All I could do was lay there and watch as Luke turned into something I had never
seen before no matter how great his rage.
With one hand he held up the man who had stabbed me, my sisters husband, by his throat
and I would have sworn, though I wasnt sure if it were even possible, that Lukes eyes were
glowing as he let out a very animal-like growl. I heard someone in the crowd say softly, Let the
monster be. Jacques has killed la petite beautour petite beaut. He deserves to die!
More unnatural noises came from my lover as he snapped my brother-in-laws neck before a
now shocked and silent crowd. That is right! You have all killed la petite beaut, the same girl
who sang songs and picked flowers and let you court her in her youth though none of you were
half good enough for her! She was your friend and you killed her! His roar of anger that he let
loose was unreal and then he shouted, Be gone you bastards! Go! And never ever think of
coming back! Go tell the people this place is cursed and the monster within will destroy any that
come here for what was done to the little beauty on this night! GO!
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Some did go but others went toward the house with their torches blazing, as if they believed
that if they could not destroy the beast they could burn down his home and still have a good
enough story of what happened that night. But he paid them no mind as he came to me and
gathered me in his arms. Why did you do that? You beautiful little fool, you stupid little
girlwhy?
Fighting hard for air, I gasped out, This is as it should have been centuries ago. I should
have stood with you then. I was always meant to die. I am human. It is what we do. But you were
not. You will live forever, Lucania. You will
I couldnt speak anymore and my vision was clouding over. I truly thought he was just going
to let me go and in that moment I thought that it was best if he did. I meant what I said. I was
always meant to die and as I felt myself coming close to that end I thought I had been spared in
Paris so I could have these precious few nights with him before my fate came to take me from it
all. He was laying me out on the grass and I heard him say something about the flower now
crushed in my hand. I knew he was weeping. I felt his thick tears upon my face. When he kissed
me I thought he was kissing me goodbye. There was no way he would make me into a vampire
right there in the yard with the villagers still busy burning all of his beautiful things around us. I
did not know how strong his love for me was, how great his fear was in that moment, and how
little he cared about the people that were there if he even noticed them at all. I love you,
Arianne and I hope you dont hate me now. I love you, I love you Again he let out a very
loud rumble of a noise and then I felt it, a terrible sharp pain in my neck. I could feel his hair on
my shoulder and his tears as they fell. My last thought before the images of my life flooded
through my mind was that the rose that had been wilted in my palm just moments before felt full
again. How strange

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Part 3:
Death
Chapter 1
When I opened my eyes I was shocked to be alive. Yet I knew that I was alive as I felt the
sharpest pangs of hunger I had ever felt in my life. It wasnt hunger the way I had felt it before
but rather something deeper, something far more intense that I felt all throughout my body, and it
was not food that I wanted. My throat was parched for the taste of the bitter-sweet liquid that I
could barely recall taking from Lukes wrist during the nightmare the night before. I wanted it so
badly now that I ached with the need. But when I went to sit up, I found my wrists tied to the bed
posts. Oh, you must be joking, I thought as I shouted, Lucania, you bastard, let me loose!
He came impossibly fast, almost ripping off the damned bed curtains in his attempt to get to
me. I am sorry about the restraints, my love. It is just that one never knows how a newborn
vampire will react when they awake. I have heard stories of some who awoke too soon and
walked into the sun, dying on their very first day. Ive heard other tales of fledglings that wake
up with an insatiable blood thirst and they create massacres in very messy ways. Often times
they have to be destroyed by their makers if they are ever found. I was justtaking precautions.
He said and at last I could sit up. I couldnt help but glare at him as I rubbed my wrists. They did
not ache as they should have. In fact, I felt no pain at all.
I was still shocked that I was alive, or as alive as a vampire may claim to be. I had no idea
where we were or how we had gotten there. And I was so blessed hungry that I probably would
have drained a puppy if it had come strolling by just then. But instead of important questions that
needed answers, I asked only, You really turned me?
I could see him as clearly in the darkness around us as I had ever seen him by candlelight so I
saw when his face reflected awe at my question. Of course I did. Did you think that I would let
you lay there and die in my arms? I may come to regret this, you may come to hate me for it, but
I know even now that I will regret this far less than I would ever regret your death. I will teach
you everything and in time you will get used to this existence. Those of us who make it always
do and I have no doubt of your abilities to make it. If I thought you could not handle this I would
have never brought it upon you. Tonight we will begin with the most basic things. I will teach
you to hunt, to scan the minds of those that you feel drawn to because you will often know by a
feeling first who your victims will be. Perhaps that, too, is instinct for some. I will show you how
to cover the marks on the bodies although this isnt always necessary. Sometimes the bites
simply disappear on their own. Ive never found an answer for why some do and some do not. If
we have time maybe I can show you how to move your body at preternatural speeds
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Prepreternatural? What the fuck is that? I asked with a chuckle. He was being so serious
that I couldnt help myself. I feared he had been lost in the moment of the great teacher and I
wanted very much to bring him out of it.
He smiled at me. Its a word we use to define our movements, our eyes, our
skinessentially everything in a vampires nature. It means something that is beyond the realms
of natural explanation, something that is more than natural. As we are that indeed, it is the best
word for the way that we can move.
Ah, I see. Well, I am absolutely starving so perhaps we can go and start that lesson on
hunting, hum? I practically demanded as I stood. Now that I knew what it felt like, this drive, I
could not believe the restraint that Luke and the others had. Especially when Luke had been so
close to me, smelling the blood beneath my flesh, listening to my heart as it pumped the vital
liquid through my veins. If I were him I believed just then that I would have eaten me. Where
are we? I asked as I dressed in the same clothes I had worn the night before. The tears that had
been in them from the knife that stabbed my flesh were mended and I thought this odd unless
Luke had suddenly taken up sewing.
We are in Paris. You never mentioned that the seamstress who tended your wounds also
owned an inn. Nor did you mention that she loves you like a daughter. I was quite surprised
when I came through the doors carrying you only to have the little woman grow hysterical at the
sight of you. She spoke so fast I could barely understand her. She thought something terrible had
happened to you. I had to explain to her that you were simply very tired from the long journey
and that you had fallen asleep against me as we rode. The dress, I explained, was torn in a patch
of woods as we traveled. She fixed your dress and she is busy now making you a few dresses to
take with us when we leave to meet the others. She thinks you and I are on a getaway to
celebrate our wedding yesterday. She knows how youve developed a strange condition and
because of it you cannot be in the sun for at least a month so she is throwing us a feast on the
morrowat night. She is very excited to finally meet me as she always knew there was someone
back home that you loved and she has no doubt we will have many beautiful babies in the years
to come. I am a handsome man, she said, and I had better be just as handsome on the inside
because if I do a thing to hurt her bebe, her little beauty, she will simply have to show me the
error of my ways. This she said with a sort of crazy smile so should we have any disputes while
we are here I think we should forgo sleeping from then on out. By the way, you never told me
that the people here called you that.
Yes, well, they needed a nickname for the stage and I have but one. I wish I had picked
another as I am so sick of hearing those two words strung together that I could scream when its
said in my presence. Ive heard it more in the past seven years than I ever heard it before in my
life. Now, were married, were getting away to celebrate, I have a rare skin condition, we are
dining tomorrow night to celebrate all of this, and Madame may or may not shoot you with her
famous pistol if you so much as raise your voice to me. All of this is good to know. But how the
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hell are we going to fake this whole dinner bit? I mean, we cannot eat food, correct? And
speaking of eatingI am starving. Can we walk?
I intended to take the back stairs no one used that led out behind the kitchen to avoid
Madame altogether because I wanted only to feast, drink the damned city dry if I had to. Once
we were outside in the alley behind the tavern he took my arm in his and said softly, I thought
perhaps you might take ill tonight, part of your condition, and tomorrow evening I can explain
that because you are ill you can only take in liquids. You see, our bodies can handle wine and
even light broths. Again, I dont know why. The broth may have some negative effects on your
body but if you feed shortly afterward you should be fine. But try to get away with only drinking
wine. Alcohol has no effects, negative or otherwise, on our bodies. We can easily handle it.
I nodded and it was then that I realized I was the one who was leading the way. And why
not? I certainly knew where to find the worst of the worst in Paris. Passing my old apartment, I
headed for the theater. Without thinking of it, I was going toward the place where I was raped.
Suddenly I stopped in my tracks. What am I doing, Luke? Its my first night out as a vampire,
Ive never killed in my life, and here I am going straight for revenge. Isnt that foolish? I had
read the stories about Lukes first night as well as Cherises and in none of that did I read about
the two of them going to right wrongs that had been committed against them like I suddenly
wanted desperately to do.
Putting his hands on my shoulders he asked simply, Will you have peace without the
revenge? If you go and find another to kill can you go back to the inn and sleep well or will your
mind return to that night, to that bastard, over and over again? If you can find peace without it
you dont need to do it. Not tonight anyway. But if you cannot, we will find him tonight and you
can have your revenge.
I didnt have to think of the answer. I had only known peace during those last days at
Lukes chateau and returning to Paris had brought back the feeling of helplessness and fear that
had been with me since the attack. I was now in a position to make that bastard beg for his life as
I had begged for mine but his story would not have such a happy ending. Luke nodded as if he
knew what I was thinking. He probably did. When I began to walk again, this time nearly blind
for as much attention as I paid to what was around me, he walked silently at my side. I had
fought very hard to block the images of that horrible night from my mind, the fear, the disgust at
being taken against my will by a vile creature, the way that his knife seemed to reflect a light I
could not see in the darkness as he pulled it from its sheathbut now I needed all that I had
blocked out. I needed to feel it. I remembered what Luke told me in the past about the emotions
of a vampire being stronger than those of a human and I knew that he was right. I had never felt
this bitter rage so deeply before.
I felt as if I were being guided by something unseen as I moved, turning corners and
entering alleys I never would have traveled when I was a mortal. When we got close I could feel
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it, a tingle in my bones, and I followed that feeling right to the bastard as he stood with a couple
of men around him. I recognized him immediately. Not only had I seen his face in my darkest
nightmares more times than I could recall, my stomach turned to knots as soon as my eyes met
his. And the worst part of all, or so it seemed to me in that moment, was that the bastard was
looking me straight in the eye and he had no idea who I was. He had raped me, he had tried to
take my life, and he didnt even recognize me. I was approaching him fast when Lukes firm grip
on my arm snapped me back into reality. Ill get him. Ill lure him away from his friends. Stay
here, alright? I looked up at him and nodded. I thought he would go then but instead he asked
inside my mind, We can still go elsewhere if youre not sure. Are you sure? Again I gave my
swift and silent nod and finally he went toward the man whose blood I wanted most to spill.
I did not want to be in view of his friends when I took his life so I walked a few feet ahead
and I waited patiently though I was so anxious to feed and particularly to feed upon him that I
felt as if I were coming out of my own cold skin. When I saw Luke coming with this sick,
deranged bastard at his side, I could wait no longer. Using a speed that felt nothing more than
exhilarating, I lost sight of everything around me, of every sense of sanity and reason, as my new
sharp fangs punctured flesh for the first time. Thoughts of the women he had raped and killed
sickened me but when I came upon his memory of my own terrified face, my own wretched cries
and pleas for mercy, I could not contain my fury. Luke was screaming in my brain to stop, that I
was being too savage, but I did not give a damn. I had not only punctured his flesh by the end, I
had ripped into it like a savage dog. And when the last of his memories faded out and I knew that
he was dead I was sorry for it. I would have given anything to savor the moment of ending him
once more.
When I opened my eyes I saw the mess that I had made. There was a deep hole in his neck
and pieces of flesh were visible on the ground beside of him. It was gruesome, this sight, and it
was even worse to know that I had done that to a human being and I had loved every single
beautiful moment of it. But when I tried to find remorse I came up empty handed. I hope your
magic blood can somehow fix that. I said simply as I walked away. Where was I going? Well,
that was simple enough to determine. I was going to find the dead mans friends, the ones who
had watched and cheered while he did the unthinkable to me. Yes, god help them, I had
recognized the trio from the same nightmares that their ringleader often played parts in. And luck
was not on their side on this particular night because their friend, wisp of a man that he was, was
not enough to satisfy my newborn appetite. I assumed it would take Luke a minuet to clean up
the mess his new fledgling had made and I was correct. I could hear him clearly in my head
yelling at me to come back but I had gone too far for that. When I approached them one of the
men, the largest in the group, recognized me. A look of terror came over his face as if he knew in
that moment that death was coming for him. It cant be you! He cried out. Youre dead!
In response to his incorrect assumption, I only smiled a cruel, dark smile. The others were
entranced, trapped in my web, the spell I had cast upon them with my eyes when I first walked
down that dark and narrow alley. Yes, I would take him first. He stood right beside of the bastard
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while he raped me, while he cut me, he tried to kick my face in as I screamed, and his only
complaint was that his friend didnt let him have a go at me before he attempted to disembowel
me while I was alive and fully conscious. Well, I thought bitterly, that is a mistake he will not
make again. Pulling his greasy hair, I watched the vein that contained his sacred blood as it
throbbed in his neck and I wanted it. I wanted it with every fiber of my being. This time I was
slow about it. I sank my teeth in and I sucked in a rhythm that allowed me to savor each drop of
the thick liquid that slid easily down my throat. Yes, this was everything to me now. To hell with
love, with desire, with everything that had been my only focus for so many years. Lukes touch
could never ever satisfy me as this beautiful precious liquid did. I heard a voice behind me but I
was not ready to stop. His heart was still beating faintly in his chest pumping the blood out
slowlyslowly When I was pulled away from the new object of my obsession I fought like
hell against whoever dared to do such a thing. But I wasnt strong enough to break the grip of the
one who had me. Hes dead, goddamn it, hes dead! You want to drink dead blood? Luke
screamed at me even as we sailed effortlessly, it seemed, through the night air.
We were back inside of our room before I realized where we were headed and it was then, as
we stood face to face with solid wood under our feet, that I unleashed a rage upon him that
terrified the part of me that was still trying to hold on to my humanity. Something had snapped in
me as I fed from that evil man, something broke, that had been a long time coming. Only now it
was so much worse, so much more intense, because I was a vampire who felt things with ten
times the strength of a human soul. All of my newly acquired power in that moment would have
been enough to twist the bones of a person but against Luke, the man I lovedyes, even in my
madness I loved him still almost as much as I hated him in that momentit was nothing at all.
He simply stood there and allowed me my violence. Why? I wondered. Why doesnt he fight me
back? Finally, with nothing left inside of me, I crumbled to the floor and I wept the blood tears
of the undead.
When Luke tried to take me in his arms I pushed him away. This wasnt a moment to be
shared with anyone, not even him, my love, my maker. No, this was my moment and mine alone.
Suddenly my mind went back to the evening I caught him at his secret piano on the abandoned
second floor of our secret world playing the song he composed while I was ill. That songthat
haunting songwas perfect for my madness. Will you take me downstairs? Madame has a
piano down there. No one will notice us this time of night. If you could just play for me
He asked no questions. He simply scooped me up as if I were a child and he carried me
down the steps, laying me on a chaise lounge that was beside of the baby grand piano. I was
happy that things were still the same as my first night in the place, that few came over to this side
of the tavern. They came for their food and their drink. They did not care one bit about this
precious instrument and the gorgeous music it contained. He didnt ask what song I wanted. He
simply struck up the first notes of it as if I had told him already. And when the last notes faded I
asked him to play it again and againI was losing myself more and more with each note he hit
and yet I couldnt seem to tell him to stop. I pitied him, my sweet dark prince, because he
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thought that the music would help me. He played to clear up my mind. And yet in truth it was
making me more insane. He played for me wordlessly until dawn was upon us. The wonderful
Madame had let him go on long after hours mainly because, after seeing me and speaking with
me, I believe she thought that I was dying. I could not help it. She was talking and all I wanted
was the sweet sounds of that piano playing its melancholy tune. I wanted to look at her and tell
her to go away from me, that I couldnt be sure I would not look a moment too long on her
pulsating veins and devour her as if she had not been the dearest friend in the world to me during
all of my years in Paris, the mama I never had. I wanted to tell her that not only was I crazy, I
was deadly, that if the devil had brain fever he would pose less threat to her than I did in that
moment. But instead I tried to talk and only gibberish came out, the craziest things. And still he
played on.
When it was time, Luke picked me up once more and carried me to our bed. It was as if he
thought it was my body and not my mind that had suddenly become useless. I allowed this but
when he lay down next to me in bed and he tried to put his arm around me I pushed him away. I
was afraid of myself in that moment; afraid of what he had done to me and of what I might do to
him. In all of my imagings of my first night as a vampire, I never conjured up something like
this and I knew somehow that if I had just chosen a stranger to be my first kill instead of chasing
down my revenge, if I had never looked into the cold eyes of the bastard who had hurt me and
saw a complete lack of recognition for the woman he nearly murdered, I would not be facing this
madness. This was not Lukes fault. Even then I knew that and I wanted to tell him that most of
all as he moved away from me. I had hurt him and I never meant to. There were so many things I
wanted to say but I could not find the words to explain this. So instead I went to sleep.
I could smell the warm human body in the room with me before I opened my eyes.
Somehow I knew again that it was nighttime in the world outside the bed and it was safe for me
to get up and follow my keen sense of smell straight to the body in question. When I opened the
bed curtain and I stood I saw Luke sitting at a chair with the small table common in all of the
rooms separating him from a man who appeared to be passed out face down. Gesturing
wordlessly toward the man, he seemed to be inviting me to eat. And I hesitated not one moment
in doing so. Again there were flashes of murder, of screaming women and crying children, all
victims of the large sailor who apparently picked the wrong drinking pal on this particular night.
These horrible images seemed to only feed my madness. When his heart took its last beat I
couldnt help but slap him as I drew away. Why? Because he had made the world a darker place
in his life or because he had no more blood to give? Are you satisfied, my love? Luke asked
me softly.
No. I replied honestly. I am beginning to think that the blood thirst inside of me will
never be satisfied. What are we going to do with him? I questioned as I sat on the floor with my
back to the heavy wooden bed. Would I never feel again, I wondered. Was I really doomed to
live out eternity as cold as this?
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I will worry about that. Getting up from his seat, he came over to me and when he didnt
even try to touch me I did feel somethingI felt a hint of remorseand a touch of love. At least
there was still that. I would have probably thrown myself upon a fire if I had found not one trace
of my deep love for him in my heart because I would have known then that there was no hope
left for me to feel. Something is terribly wrong, Arianne. I know it. I can see the difference in
you. Something changed on the street last night. As soon as I brought him toward you I saw a
change in your eyes instantly, a wild look that is still there even now. I am your lover, I am your
maker, and I will never forsake you or turn you away. Whatever you are feeling, whatever
thoughts you have in your head, you can tell me. If you are angry with me I understand
No. No, I am not angry with you. I swear I am not. I wanted this and you gave it to me to
save my life. Youve done nothing wrong to me. This has nothing at all to do with you. I
assured him and I meant it.
What then?
I sighed. How the hell could I begin to explain this? Do you think it is possible for a
vampire to drink in someones madness, someones lust for murder, in their blood? To take in
the depravity of a soul as the life force is drained? I asked him.
No. If that were the case, all of our kind would be mad. All we pick, most of us from this
blood line, are the depraved. Why do you ask such a question?
Because as soon as his blood hit my tongue I filled up with this wretched evil that is
coursing through me even now. I fear I have gone mad. I was listening to you play last night and
Madame came over, you remember? He nodded. I looked up at her, my dearest friend in all of
Paris, the woman whose quick thinking saved my own life, whose love guided me all the years I
was here, and I thought of none of it. Not once did that connection come to the center of my
mind. Instead I saw her wrist when she moved to touch me. I saw that precious vein pumping out
the liquid under her skin and it took everything inside of me to restrain myself from sinking my
teeth deep
But you did restrain yourself. See, that is what matters. You are a newborn vampire. Your
thirst is going to be overpowering and for a little while it will take precedence over all else in
your mind. You might feel as if it will never be quenched. But I promise you, that does not last.
In time you are able to control it, to see humans again as your friends, and to feel your own
humanity in your soul. That is the thing to remember. When you feel completely detached from
humanity, even those you once cared about, consider that yes, your body, the shell you carry, has
changed. But your soul is still the same. The Dark Gift can be both a blessing and a curse, it can
change and reshape everything you know and all that you feel and want, but it will only change
your soul if you allow it.
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Its more than just the thirst. Its more, even, than the vampire Ive become because when I
awoke last night I still felt myself. Its more than taking my first human life because, to be
honest, I felt it before one drop of that bastards blood hit my tongue. I think that Ive gone mad.
Is there a cure for a mad vampire?
Yes. Do not succumb to the madness. If it takes over, if it consumes you
He let his words trail off but I heard his mind. If it consumes you, it will break me. I was
going to ask him why, why it would break him, but then I saw the images in his mind of my
death and I knew. If I went mad beyond the point of return he would have to end me. If it
should ever come to that, Luke, do not hesitate. Do not feel guilty, do not feel as if youve
wronged me, do what you must or let someone, Mother perhaps, do it for you. Do you
understand me?
He looked startled as if he had forgotten for a moment that I now possessed the same ability
he had. When the shock faded, there was a terrible torment in his eyes. Do not speak like that!
Do not say such terrible things! It will never come to that. I will never let it come to that.
Standing suddenly as if he could not stay still and talk of such atrocious possibilities, he said
briskly, Im going to dispose of this poor bastard. Stay right here. Go nowhere until I return.
Before I had time to reply he was gone out the window and I was alone.
I sat there feeling despair unlike anything I had ever known before. I had no idea where it
came from but I was thinking of my father, of his sad corpse as I left it that last night, and of the
things he might have to say if he were watching me now. Would he hate Luke for what he had
done? In giving me eternal life, more or less, he had erased any chance my father had of holding
me in his arms again. Or had my father already gone on to another life himself, reborn and nearly
ten sitting on some mothers knee? No. Although I did believe in such a notion now (How could
I not with Charlottes memories still in my mind?) I also knew that he was still around me and
that filled me with shame at what I had become. It soon became apparent to me that being alone
was not in my best interest and despite Lukes command, I went downstairs to where so many in
the city were gathered, eating their meals before taking in a show. It was this way every night. I
knew that. The monotony of it had been overwhelming to me sometimes. But tonight was
different. Although I had no such intentions in mind when I went down, I knew what I wanted
now. But not here, not where everyone could seeI smiled when I saw three women gathered
together. One of them I had known once from Pierre stage. She was a bitch to be sure and she
would often make the lives of anyone unfortunate enough to be her understudy a living hell. I
was her understudyonce. Briefly. Yes, it was my old foe Madeline. Focusing on the trio with
the intent to mesmerize, I smiled. The grin felt wicked on my lips but there was no turning back.
It took nothing at all to twist their minds, to convince them to come up to my room. No one
saw. In the business of a Saturday night, no one noticed. By the time I led them inside,
Madelines two friends were as deep in my spell as the men the night before had been. I knew
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they would stay even as they watched me kill her. And so I took my time, slowly draining her. I
went next to the girl with the most irritating thoughts. I had heard them as soon as I came up to
the table. Her plots and plans were centered on kissing Madelines ass, becoming her pet, in
hopes of being treated with kindness. As if the girl saw herself as nothing more than a lap dog.
As far as I could see, I was sparing her from a life of disappointment and bullshit and I
welcomed her soft and warm memories as they came to me with each drop of blood I took in.
They were so much better than the ones I got with a killer. Like a breath of fresh air. When she
was dead I actually kissed her on the cheek as I picked her up and carried her to my bed. She did
not deserve to be tossed on the floor like trash. She had nothing but good in her soul. And while I
still felt no remorse for taking her life, I did feel enough for her to want to respect her mortal
shell. I closed her eyes with my hands before turning toward the third woman. There was
something menacing about her, somethingI scanned her mind and found that this docile
looking creature was as cold blooded as the man who made up my first course that night.
Because I was full at last and because I felt warmed by memories I did not want to give up yet to
take in anothers darkness, I let her go. She was going down the stairs as Luke returned through
the window.
I saw the gravity of what I had done reflected in the horror in his eyes. I had known these
women were innocent and yet I had taken them up here and killed them, snuffing out their lives
like a candle and with no more thought than one gives to that precisely. Oh, Arianne, what have
you done? When I only stood there thinking still of the happy child my last victim had been,
still playing thoughts of a life I wish I might have had, he came and shook me hard. What have
you done?
I believe I told you already. Ive gone mad. Is this what you needed to understand that?
Well, I gestured toward the corpses, are you satisfied, my love? And then I laughed a strange
cackle of a laugh that sent a chill down my own spine.
Oh, Arianne I expected him to turn from me in revulsion and if he had, it would have
been so much better. I could have let myself go. But instead he pulled me to him and he held me,
kissing the top of my head before laying his cheek against it. I have to get you out of this place
at once. First we will dispose of these girls and then we are going to London to meet the others.
Tonight? Finding a cab to go anywhere in this city on a Saturday night will be all but
impossible so finding a way to London? It will not happen. I replied. There was a dull, flat
quality to my tone, no life left in my voice.
We are not going by horse and carriage. I will heal their wounds and push them from the
window and as soon as I let go, we are off. Follow me. I did as he said, watching him round up
the bodies. Oh, I did not want him to do this to the sweet one, the kind girl. If it was even
whispered that it was suicide she would be placed in the ground somewhere with no stone to
mark her place, her family would not speak her namesurely someone would not think that,
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though. Clearly it was murder. I was startled out of my reverie by his command that I come and
as he grabbed me I closed my eyes and wept for her and the life that I cut short.
I felt as if I were in a daze as we moved through the air, which felt impossibly thin so far
above the world I knew. I hoped that Mother would kill me when she saw what I had become. It
wasnt that I wanted to die. It was more that I no longer cared to live and there seemed but one
other option. I had read enough of Lukes own words to know that he had never gone through the
darkness swimming in my head. Mother and Cherise also appeared to have made the switch from
human to monster without this glitch. Of course I had done something all of them had not. I had
gone straight toward revenge. Even now I could not regret it. I deserved it and that man deserved
to die. Who knew how many of the missing women in Paris could be traced back to one horrible
encounter with him? But I made it so much worse when I took my blood thirst out on an
innocent young girl who had never done a damned thing wrong in her life. I doubted the trio of
vampires I knew so well had ever done such a thing and I knew Cook wasnt capable of it. In
fact, he was so sweet natured that I wouldnt be surprised if he had sworn off human blood
altogether. For the first time since I discovered his dark secret that did not fill my heart with love
but rather with disgust which only fueled my self-loathing.
When we arrived in London I assumed we would be going to a hotel or perhaps a house that
the little family had rented some place. Dawn was still a couple of hours off and while downtown
London was still quite alive in some spots (namely the worst places in town) the rest of the world
outside the city limits was dead around us. I could hear the quiet in the distance and it
preoccupied my thoughts so that when Luke stopped I ran right into him. And why not? It made
no sense that he had suddenly stopped in front of a tavern that offered no lodging when we were
supposed to be looking for the others. Perfect time to decide you need a drink, dear. I said
sarcastically as he led me inside. He did not speak with his mouth but rather with his mind as he
told me to shut up and follow him.
We walked up to the bar and at once there was a tingling sensation inside of me, as if all of
my defenses were up. The man behind the bar serving humans their fill of whiskey and ale was
one of us, he was a vampire, and I couldnt believe no one noticed it. His death white skin, his
silken blonde hair, his otherworldly eyesbut then again, I had once shared the bed of a vampire
for months without realizing that his icy skin held dark secrets beneath the surface so who the
hell was I to judge? The two spoke back and forth without saying a word but I could only hear
Lukes end of things. He asked him about the others and, apparently getting the answer that they
were there somewhere, he was told the way to go to find them. All the while my mind was
focused on the intoxicating smell of humans around me, the salt of their skin, the bitterness of
their blood, the collection of beating hearts that would stop if only Yanking my arm hard,
Luke began to walk toward a door behind the bar as he whispered with fury in his voice, I think
youve stopped enough hearts for one night, dont you?
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I said nothing as I followed him despite the barbs that were on the tip of my tongue.
Following him, I thought he had lost his damned mind. He led me into a basement of sorts that
was accessible only if you knew where to look for the passageway and from the basement he led
me down a flight of stairs that made the steps up to his turret seem short. If I had been human
and had breath left in my body, it would have been in short supply by the time we reached the
bottom but I imagined that was probably the point because what we stopped at shocked me to my
core. It was a city, complete with beings milling about, a tavern, the scent of humans Only this
was very much a city of the dead, an underground world where the vampire ruled. What the hell
is this? I questioned. There was a thrill inside of me as my eyes caught a vampire feasting on a
human there in the crowded little square of the town. No one gasped in horror. No, here it was an
accepted part of existing.
It is one of many underground places nicknamed Civitatem immortui
City of the undead. This isincredible. How many vampires know about this?
Not many. Most of those who come here are ancients and their fledglings. Many are
vampires who remember when this was a Roman city, the start of the modern city above. Weve
watched it change. We watched history bury it. We knew it was here. And I know the evil that is
contained within these ancient walls so I want you to wipe that dazzled look of joy off of your
face. Lowering his voice to a whisper, he said sternly, Above this place you have little to fear.
Down here I will have to be by your side at all times. Some of the oldest, strongest, and cruelest
bastards of our bloodline call this damned place home. Follow me!
I wanted to think that he was simply trying to scare me away from the depraved behavior
that was being carried out all around us, a depravity that yes, in that moment, I wanted very
much to be a part of. But that tingle down my spine told me his words were the truth. There were
hundreds of vampires down here and I assumed each and every one was older than me. I already
knew that with age came strength. They could rip me apart, drain me if such a thing was
possible, and I would have what I thought I wanted while we were in the air. Only suddenly I
knew that no matter how little interest I took in living, I was programed to fight like hell against
any attack. I could feel myself changing, my senses heightening as we walked further and further
into this twisted world. I was ten times the vampire down here that I was up there, ten times as
aware, ten times as deadly, because without one hint of malice coming my way I had already
gone into survival mode. This was something no one had ever talked to me about, this biological
change. No one told me that the option to give up was all but taken from me with the first drop of
poisoned blood that hit my tongue. I was furious at the revelation!
We stopped in front of a place that looked much like any of the apartments above ground
and Luke knocked lightly on the door. So it is true what they say about a vampire not being able
to enter a place without permission? I asked. It seemed I had read that in the volumes of lore
that my beloved owned.
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Looking at me in an exasperated way, he said, What? No. It is simply that this is Mothers
home and it is rude to come in unannounced. Besides, she hates this place. There is probably a
variety of weapons behind that door just in case anyone wanted to be foolish enough to barge in
on her. Again he knocked and in his mind I heard him say something in Greek, something that
sounded like, Open up. Your son is home.
Suddenly the door opened only a fraction of an inch and there was a pause before it was
opened all the way and Mother embraced Luke saying, It is about time, Lucania! I was ready to
leave you for good this time! Leaving me here in this place for so long Seeing me, she smiled
at first but just when she was about to take me in her arms she saw something, heard something
in my mind perhaps, that made her take a step back. For a moment she only looked at me and
then she shook her head. Oh, Arianne, what has happened to you?
I turned her. I had to, Mother
That is not what I am talking about and she knows it. After she shut the door she did take
me in her arms as she whispered, We will make you better, sweet girl. We must. But you have
to fight this thing inside of you. The blood of the evil can twist your mind. The blood of someone
who wronged you can twist it all the more. I fought a battle like this once and because of my
maker, I won. Now you must fight as well.
Backing away from her, I asked what was lurking inside of my mind. And what if I dont
want to? What if I dont want to fight? I forgot that there was anyone else in the room with us
and although I sounded defiant, that wasnt my intention. No. I was looking for answers she
might be able to give.
She looked at me, unblinking, expressionless, for a long time. And then she replied softly,
You remember that you have no choice. In life you were born to hard times and you had little
love. Here as you are now you have a family who loves you very much. We are not like your
mortal sisters, Arianne. We would never be the same if you went out and got lost in the storm.
Because her words touched me and I did not want to be touched, I walked past everyone even
as they reached out for me and I found a room that seemed unoccupied. There I lay for a very
long time, weeks, maybe a month or more, refusing to drink, refusing to move. I thought of
nothing but the girl back in Paris. How would things have been different for me if I had been
able to claim her sweet memories of untroubled youth? Perhaps I had killed her because I could
smell the peace in her blood, on her skin, and I wanted some for myself. At some point I stopped
feeling guilt over her death, though. With creatures roaming right outside the door that was far
more dangerous than I and who seemed to have no conscience left, I let go of the feeling that
what I had done was wrong. And I started to get a terrible urge to never leave the city of the
undead. Let Luke and the others go alone, I thought, while I stay here with vampires more like
myself. Sometimes I would sleep for days and I would wake up feeling as if I had dreamed of my
father and that he was pushing me back toward my maker, telling me in his straightforward way
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that Lucanias way was the best way, the only way, to make it through eternity. Though I had
never disobeyed him in life, I knew now that he was dead and so was I and there was no one to
help me now at all.
Although there was no way of seeing sunlight or the night time sky, all vampires seemed to
have a biological clock that made them impossibly sleepy as soon as dawn came and woke them
up again sometime between the start of dusk and the beginning of full dark. In Paris I had that
clock as well. But at some point under the city of London my natural time clock broke. I awoke
one day at a time that could have meant my death if I had risen above ground. But I wasnt above
ground, was I? And it seemed that everywhere the vampires who dominated this world were
sleeping. However, their human companions, those who served as small appetizers to vampires
they were enamored with from all I had heard, were awake, some of them, and they smelled
fucking delicious! I was surprised that even through the walls of stone and the door of iron I
could clearly smell the blood in their veins, hear the hearts that pumped it. Looking around I
could see perfectly in the dark and Luke was nowhere in sight. I had no idea where he was.
Perhaps he was in the bed of another. I could hardly blame him for that. The lover he had made
himself had turned into a beast. Who wants to be reminded of that when its easier to forget?
Getting out of bed, I was very quiet in case sleeping vampires could rest lightly as humans did,
and I slipped out of the apartment of sorts feeling like I had reached freedom when I closed the
door behind me.
Walking back the way I had come that first night, I followed the scent of blood to the center
of this strange town where groups of humans were gathered here and there. They were all clearly
startled to see me believing as I myself had believed until that day that vampires were incapable
of waking during the day except under dangerous circumstances. At one bench two men sat with
a woman between them. They were pimps, the woman, if one can call a sixteen year old girl a
woman, was their whore and they reminded me of everything that was repulsive about the world.
They reminded me of a man whose body I left in Paris. Yes, they would make a delightful feast.
I smiled my most assuring smile as I approached them and I used my mind to touch that very
vulnerable part in the human psyche that is usually open to all forms of outside influence. Using
that, I got the men to stay even as I commanded that the girl go away. I knew if she stayed
nothing would stop me from turning on her and I didnt want to. Not really. I saw too much of
myself in her. I turned to the man with the coldest eyes, the one on my right, and I took his arm.
He did not protest. I didnt expect that he would. There were marks on his arm that told me I
wasnt the first with a set of fangs to sink my teeth into him. But I would be the last. Into his
wrist I drove my sharp teeth and I smiled to hear the skin break under the weight of them. Oh, he
tasted sweet! When the horrible images came, flashes of girls not yet thirteen stolen from their
homes and put on the streets, images of children killed and sold for parts like animals as I nearly
was, I could hold back my thirst no longer. I drained him before I anticipated and I was about to
go on to the next when
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The pain took me by surprise and I wondered why Luke forgot to mention we could still
feel in this way. I barely had time to grab for my head, where I had been struck with impossible
force, before I was knocked to the ground and a huge beast of a man was on top of me. I knew at
once what his intention was. He planned to literally rip my head off and I smiled waiting for him
to do just that. If I had known that this was all it would take Domingo, I will kill you! Even if
I had no love in my heart for her, I would do it for the pleasure of it! GetOFF!
Luke had again come to my rescue and I was hardly happy for it. But the crazed vampire
above me moved at lightning speed and though I had no idea where he went I had a feeling he
would not soon cross my lovers path again. Offering me a hand, I expected to see fury in his
eyes. Many vampires had gathered here and there looking clearly confused the way humans do
when they are woken in the middle of the night by a strange occurrence. By the way Domingo
had reacted I assumed I had done something wrong by the standards of the creatures here.
However, no one else seemed angry. After taking in the situation and deeming it over, everyone
dispersed, headed back the way they came. Without a word I walked beside of Lucania and I
nearly pulled away when he put his arm around me. I wasnt expecting affection. I know you
are hungry, my love. You are too young to starve so long. As soon as night falls we will leave
this place and I will take you hunting. This place was never good for you but at least you feasted
from a proper victim. I saw him last night and had he not been at Domingos side, I would have
destroyed him then. The girl? Was she with him today?
Yes. I made her go. I said simply. And all would have been well enough. Honestly, it
would have. I wasnt angry then, only numb. I would have stayed numb if he had not nodded his
head in approval as if I were his fucking pet and I had gone to the bathroom in the right spot for
the first time. Of course that isnt really how he meant it but just then that was how I saw it and
as soon as we walked into Mothers own special place down here in Hell, I went insane. Shelves
that lined the walls, lamps used for light, chairs, a chessboard and table, anything in my path, I
destroyed. I even beat upon the stone walls until my hands were bleeding and when I saw the
cuts heal before my very eyes, I beat on them again. I wanted to hurt him but unlike Paris I knew
now that the best way to hurt him was to hurt myself. Using shards of glass from the broken
lamps I began carving at my flesh, first my arms and then my chest, my stomach, the tops of my
legs. I felt the sting initially and then there was nothing as the wounds closed almost as soon as
they were made. Where my scar had once been, I sliced through the fabric on my dress cutting
over and over again that place. The blood had no right to heal that. It was my goddamned battle
wound, my reminder of why I had to always go on, and without it I had forgotten why living had
once been so important!
When I felt mentally drained I merely sat down on the floor. Luke had kept his distance
from me until then, weeping his blood red tears as I tried so hard to damage the nearly
indestructible canvas of my skin. After I sat he left the room and when he returned he held
something in his hands that felt odd from where I was. It feltwhat was the word he had
used?...preternatural. Like a tiny vampire was in the palm of his hand. Mother had come in but
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Cook and Cherise slept on and it appeared she thought that whatever mystical thing he had, it
needed to be shown to me. The night that the townspeople came for me you were holding that
rose in your hand. Do you remember? The purple one from the garden?
Of course I remember. I could not see where this was going but I was tired of waiting to
see what he was hiding in his hands. My god, I thought, its glowing!
When I saw that you had been wounded mortally, that you were going to die if I did not
exchange your mortal life for this one, I wept and some of my tears fell upon that flower.
Something happened, Arianne, something that none of us, not even Mother, has ever seen
before. And with that he showed me something so unbelievable I thought that he was putting
me on. It was the purple rose alright only the thing was full, beautiful, almost alive. It was
literally pulsating with energy and when I took it in my hands I felt everything I thought that I
had lost. I remembered that night, the love we shared the nights before, the way he wept for
meI remembered everything I had wanted to keep forever in the first place. This was too cruel
to be a joke. I knew Mother was coming here and as bad as I hate the place, cities like this are
the only places you will find vampires of all ages and backgrounds so I sent it to her and she has
asked everyone around here. No one has ever seen anything like it. Wait, theres more. With
that he went to pluck a petal off and I slapped him, furious that he dared. But he only gestured
for me to look. There was blood where the petal had been, real blood, as if the thing were living,
and then a new petal identical to the last took its place.
This isnt possible, Lucania. Tell him, Mother! This simply is not possible! A vampire
rose? Come on now! Its madness!
Crouching down at my side, Mother draped her arm around my shoulders and smiled.
When I first saw it I felt that way, like my eyes were playing tricks on me. But when I held it, it
made me weep. I do not weep, girl. But inside of that flower made immortal somehow with
Lukes tears there flows love. Powerful love, love so great that it transcended death. I felt that. I
saw the entire thing, the whole mess the two of you endured when he made you, in my mind by
simply touching it. This rose is not only immortal like us with our blood inside of it, it carries
forever that moment when you lost your human life and love saved you. Your blood touched it
too. It wasnt only his. It was the two combined that made this rose and I suspect it will survive
as long as the two of you survive. So if you are still not interested in fighting the madness for
yourself, do it for this precious thing in your hand. It is the last of its kind from the bushes you
loved so. He kept them for you while you were away though the sight of them broke his heart,
you know. To make you happy when you returned he lived with the reminder that you were
gone. And you loved them because of him. It broke your heart when they were burned. This is all
thats left and it will go on as long as you go on.
What she did not realize is that as I held that beautiful living thing in my hand I felt inside
of it all of the love that coursed through Luke as he made the choice to save me. To let the
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madness swallow me was to betray that, to betray him, and damn it, I loved him so much I could
not keep pushing him away. One look at his face told me I had hurt him deeply. Wasnt it
enough? If I fight this and I win, will it come back? I asked softly.
Luke looked at Mother as if to tell her not to speak but she stood firm. I will not lie to her,
Lucania! I will not! Turning her attention to me once more, she said, Child, it was not the
revenge that brought on the madness. Whatever caused you to seek that revenge, whatever was
done to you, and a lifetime of mistreatment brought it on. Sometimes when a person dies their
soul carries the pain of life for a while. Eventually this fades. It will fade, this pain. And when it
does, you wont suffer the madness anymore. Until then, it may return now and then. But you
have Luke and you have us for now. We will see you through it. If you let us, we will see you
through it.
If it passes, why are vampires killed for it? I questioned. Nothing was making sense to
me, not the things being said to me, not the things in my head, nothing.
Because for many it never passes. For most the madness was there in life and it remains
after the change only it is worse, so much worse, because of the strength we possess, the
possibility for pure evil. That little bastard you just met outside is a perfect example. Why Lucius
has allowed him to live She shook her head. More puzzles, more questions. You are not
truly mad. You are simply angry. And for that death is not the answer. Love is.

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Chapter 2
How many vampires are aboveground in London? I asked as Luke and I hunted that
night. Mother had gone to see about passage south to Spain or Italy and Cook and Cherise were
somewhere in the city doing the same thing Luke and I were attempting, looking for the perfect
victims of the night. I had eventually fallen asleep again that day holding tight to the strange rose
made immortal by the blood of two lovers and I had decided to at least pretend to be normal
inside until the scam became the truth.
Its hard to say. This city has certainly seen its fair share of our kind since the Romans
settled it sixteen hundred years ago and there is one who has quite a reputation among our kind,
one who is native to the city and she keeps a home here. Remember the book you read written by
the priest, the one that first mentioned our secret word vampire to the world? The one who
inspired the book, Rapunzel, she calls London home. We will be traveling soon and Mother and I
will tell you all we know about our kind if you want to know.
Of course I want to know. I said, stopping as the smell of bitter blood and the thoughts of
a vicious bastard caught my attention. Like a good little killing machine, I followed this to a man
lurking outside of a tavern where he had met and killed his share of prostitutes working within. It
did not take a mind reader to figure out why I always seemed to find the same kind of victim
over and over again. Even though he was dead, I couldnt let my attacker go. Once we had gotten
our fill of blood, I asked Luke as we walked, Why are we not traveling by air like we did to get
here?
Cherise has never traveled that way and Mother doesnt like it. I did it because I was
desperate. That is a dangerous way to go. Now I wish we had stayed in Paris. I know where
Mother wants to go and shes going to end up suggesting Italy over Spain because its closer
To Greece? I asked. He didnt speak of their homeland. I had no idea if he had even
returned to it since they left all of those millennia ago. Ive always wanted to see it and Italy as
well. Ive been to Madrid, Rome, and Florence but all I saw of those places where hotels and
theaters. I would like to see it all again for pleasure instead of work.
He said nothing. I tried to read his mind and I found it locked to me. What was it about
home that filled him with such trepidation? Never in his words or in his journals had I gotten the
impression that something horrible had happened to him there, that someone had done him harm
until the night he was turned. I was far too young then to understand the pain of going home and
knowing nothing is the same, that youve outlived everything and everyone that once made the
place yours. Hell, I am still too young to fully understand it. It wasnt centuries that separated
him from his life as a mortal young man, it was thousands of years of change and death, creation
and destruction. Just as he predicted, when we all met back in that strange city of the undead
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Mother announced that we were crossing the English Channel immediately into Belgium so we
could then travel to Germany, into Switzerland, and straight into Italy. I had read about
Switzerland, I had been to a theater in Belgium before, and I was thrilled at the idea of seeing it
all. But there was a hard glint in Lukes eyes as he helped Mother pack that evening. Somehow I
knew that no matter what Mother wanted, Luke and I would not see Greece. Not this time. But I
said nothing as we boarded the boat that would carry us across the narrow Channel.
When we landed in Belgium my education on our kind began. We traveled by foot and for
the most part we traveled at a normal speed, sometimes having no choice but to sleep in the
ground during the day to prevent being killed by the suns horrible rays. I hated this but Luke
always lay with me, holding me tight in his arms and whispering words of love until I fell asleep.
I could smell the stench of the earth on me when I would wake from these days in the ground and
it made me feel like a cold, dead thing. To remedy this, Luke would find any body of water he
could so I could wash the dirt from my hair and my clothes but it was no use because often it
would be the same routine when dawn approached again. Eventually I got used to this and I
barely noticed that each time I laid there with Luke at my side pulling dirt in on us my mind
became more dark and twisted. Feasting off of animals to keep my strength up made me miss,
yes, miss, the stench of evil clinging to my human victims. I did get thoughts from animals but
they were in a form that is unknown to people. It was more like wavelengths, impressions, than
actual pictures put together. So strange. I soon found that I could not kill these innocent animals
so what I became accustomed to doing was drinking a little from each member of a herd. Mother
and Luke were both impressed by this, that I had figured out the trick of the tiny drink on my
own. Knowing I could learn to control my thirst enough to drink in this way from the innocent
was something that truly lifted a weight inside of me. I would still kill the guilty, of course, but
this meant that when I tired of evil things I could have a taste of someones sweet memories.
In addition to the tiny drink and sleeping in the ground I also learned the stories of where
we came from. Ill never forget it. We were walking along the border of Belgium and
Luxemburg in a forest so thick I never would have walked it as a human and Mother let out a
little laugh. I havent been to this place since the night we fled from Romania. Do you
remember, Lucania? Cook? Lucius thought they had forgotten his face. He was such a fool
sometimesso wise yet so foolish.
Who is Lucius? I asked. And why did you have to flee?
Putting an arm around me, she said, Luke did not write our history in those journals of his?
Of course he didnt. I dont think he ever believed the tales of our maker but they were the truth.
I swear it, they were. Lucius was the first of our kind. His father was Hades, God of the
Underworld. His mother was one of the old vampires, the original monsters that roamed the
earth. They had no soul, no mind, these creatures. The only thing we share with them is a lust for
blood but they would take it from anything and anyone. Hades hated these creatures. They were
dead, he argued before the Gods, and therefore they belonged with him. Yet they continued to
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live so he could not have them and when they died no one knew where their souls went if they
ever had a soul at all. To change this, he set his sights on a female of this wretched breed and he
attempted to take her to the land of the dead. What he did quite by mistake and without knowing
how was impregnate her. When Lucius was born the thing tried, of course, to kill himto drink
his infant blood. Zeus saw this and he took pity on the baby. Old Zeus knew a thing or two about
having parents who mistook you for dinner as his own father had eaten all of his siblings once.
Zeus kept the boy in Olympus, the land of the Gods. As the boy got older it became clear
that he was not like his mother at all. He acted like the Gods around him. He had a soul, a
conscience, and no blood lust to speak of. But then he made a terrible mistake. He tried to rape a
Goddess who was much beloved and who happened to be a half-sister to the goddess who held
justice in her hand. This Goddess was also the twin sister of the God of the sun. For that Lucius
was cast out of the land of the Gods into the world of humans. He was left with his mind and his
conscience and he remained immortal so he could think of his crime for all time. And because
the Goddess of justice also had a twisted sense of humor, she gave him the blood lust of his
mother so he could commit even more crimes that would hurt his soul. The God of Light,
Apollo, also put a curse on him by ensuring he would never see the sun again and if he did it
would mean his doom.
I laughed. I couldnt help myself. You are joking with me, arent you? The source of this,
of us, was a God?
Yes, he was. Not a full God, of course, but a demi-God. I assure you it is true. I saw
Olympus briefly, I saw the king of the Gods. I heard the quarrel between them as Lucius
attempted to beg his way back in right after I was made. I was meant to be a companion for
Angelus, the second of our kind. I was made to keep him company because Lucius thought
enough time had passed to where his family would take pity. He was wrong. Anyway, after he
was cast down to earth he went around terrorizing lands close to Greece and one of the places he
terrorized with glee was Romania. The people never forgot the horrible things he did. They kept
warnings of him in their songs, in their stories, and they knew what we were as soon as we came
near the peasant places. That was why we fled. Lucius eventually stopped with his horrible blood
bath realizing that each time he killed someone good, someone pure and innocent, it was killing
the part of him that still contained his humanity. He settled in Italy after that where he saved the
life of Angelus after Angelus and his woman were attacked by creatures like Luciuss mother.
He wasnt sure, he told me, how to make another like himself but he let instinct guide him. If he
tried and failed the boy would die, yes, but if he didnt try at all the boy would certainly die.
Luckily he succeeded. The pair stayed in Italy for a while before Lucius came to Crete where he
met me. He knew what he was going to attempt with the Gods. He gave me a choice, he trusted
me enough to share what he was, and he asked if I wanted the blood. He thought Angelus and I
would fall in love. I said yes to the blood but it wasnt Angel I thought of with fondness.
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She smiled in the darkness. We had crossed the border though it was hard to tell because the
thick trees looked the same on both sides. Sighing like a young girl in love, she went on. I
followed him to Greece and I went with him the night he went up the great mountain and I
followed him up a set of steps that humans cannot see. I hid the best I could behind a perfect tree
and I watched as the Gods stood together to keep him from entering their home. He was such a
sad creature for a long time after that. He wanted to leave Greece immediately, to go north
without returning to Crete, but I simply could not leave my brother as that was how I saw Cook
and then I heard about the boy I raised, the boy I thought of as my own, that he was dying, and I
begged Lucius with tears of blood coursing down my cheeks to turn Luke as he had turned me. I
begged him to give my boy the blood. Cook was turned last when he refused to leave us and we
refused to part with him. What flows inside of you, sweet girl, is direct from the first vampire, or
as the Gods called us once, that ever walked this earth. It is ancient magic, ancient
woes, that make up who we are. There may be thousands of us populating the earth but few are
nearly as old as we are. Few could ever make it so long.
What about Lucius? Was he ever allowed back into Olympus? Was he ever forgiven? I
asked and I prayed that she would say yes. I wanted his story to end like that.
No. Our maker is still wandering the world. Sometimes as we travel I feel him close to us
but hes never tried to come to us directly.
She was in love with him. I could tell it by the way she spoke of him, the sadness in her
voice, the disappointment that he never came. Why dont you go to him? I asked.
Thats enough talk for tonight. She replied simply and she walked a little ahead of us for
the rest of the night, lost in memories of an ancient love kept alive in her still heart. I was so
grateful then that I had Luke and as I felt Mothers sorrow literally coming off of her I vowed
that even if the time came when he was bored with me, when we needed to part, I would always
know where he was and he could always return to me. It had to be that way. I couldnt end up
like Mother with her sad eyes and regretful smile.
One night as Luke and I sat alone in a cave waiting for the others to return from the hunt I
asked absentmindedly, Where are our books? I am enjoying our travels but I miss having them
near.
They are safe. Mother sent them to a friend of mine while she was waiting on me in
London.
All of them? I asked, fearing he had bothered to save only the books of lore.
He laughed at me. Yes, dearest, all of them. You amaze me. I have spent thousands of years
attempting to sort through the stories of our kind to see where we, as a species, have actually
made an impression throughout the millennia that have passed, keeping record of my own travels
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for future generations, and Ive even saved your own journals but all you care about are Italian
tragedies and Scottish poetry.
Something he said had me looking at him suspiciously. I only had one. You said journals
but I only had one journal. At least that is so of Arianne. Do you have the words of Charlotte as
well, Luke? Dont lie to me. Do you have records of a life I lived before?
The others came in as I was finishing this demand of information and it was to Mother that
he looked, a silent exchange passing between them. She deserves to know, Lucania. I know
why you kept the truth from her before. If a mortal is to learn of their lives lived before they
must do it on their own. Of course I know this. I am the one who told you. But now all of that
has passed and any reasons you might have for keeping her from the truth are selfish reasons.
Tell her.
Tell me what? I demanded. When Luke said nothing, I looked at Mother. What more do I
not know?
With her hand she gestured toward Luke before leading Cook and Cherise toward the back
of the cave. Large as it was, they might as well have walked a mile. At last Luke sighed. I have
your words as Charlotte, yes. I also have your words as Catherine, Annalise, Darina, Bella,
Jovana, and my mortal love, Calliope although Calliopes words were poems and letters she
wrote me that I have since transcribed because the ink on the parchment faded and eventually the
parchment fell to pieces. And those are just the lifetimes we shared where you could leave me
some written record. There were many more that we lived together. I always found you, my love.
Until Charlotte you never betrayed me and the four hundred years between your life as her and
the one you live now was the only time that your soul was hidden from me. Your face may have
changed, Arianne, but I always knew you and I always loved you.
I felt a great love well up inside of me at what he was telling me. I knew it was truth. Of
course I did. Had I ever doubted that my soul was as much attached to him as it was to any one
body or any specific time? But with that love there was also a tremendous bitterness. Worst of
all, I couldnt tell in that moment if I was feeling it as Arianne or if it was Calliopes sense of
betrayal that I felt coursing through me. How could you? How could you let me live and die
over and over again without turning me? You couldnt leave Galene and you couldnt leave
Badru but you could leave the city of our birth with our marriage just weeks away without
demanding that Lucius give me the blood as well? How could you? I cried out. I stormed out of
the cave to clear my head and to stop the flow of the thick red tears that were staining my white
cheeks. This hurt so much worse than the betrayal of being exiled to Paris. It was an ancient ache
that flowed inside of me and it had the reinforcement of many lifetimes with it.
Lucania granted me a few moments alone and as I wiped for the fourth time at my tears, as
the full moon shone down on me whispering of old truths that needed at last to come out, he
came to me and sat so close to me that our arms were touching. I cannot give you one reason to
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explain why I did not turn you at all. With each life things were different, circumstances
changed. Your soul has always been the soul of my true love but you are very different from
Catherine, who would not forsake her Catholic faith to follow me. You are different from Darina
who was too headstrong to let me love her but for a few months of bliss spent in the ice of Russia
or little Jovana who would not disobey her kind Gypsy father for the world though she swore she
would die if she could not have me. I will tell you about all of them if you want. I will explain
how things came to pass starting with those lives and then I will tell you of others. If you come
back inside I pulled away when he tried to take my arm. This was all too much. It wasnt just
the knowledge that he and I had spent thousands of years together that I could not recall. It was
also the sudden rush of emotions and shadows of memories of those lives that were threatening
to come back to me.
Right now I cant think of a damned thing I want to hear from you unless you can tell me
how many times you held me dying in your arms, watching my life go out, while refusing to save
me. Was it once? Oh, I doubt it was only once. A dozen times perhaps? I took a knife to my lung
to spare you from death, I risked dying by your hand as Charlotte to give you the upper hand
over the villagers when they came, yet you could let me die over and over again? True love?
What bullshit! I said coldly.
Arianne, dont you dare walk away from me! Whats done is done and its something we
will never have to face again so stop acting like a goddamned child! He shouted, standing so
that he blocked the way inside the cave.
Whats done is done? Thats all you have to say for yourself? Perhaps the people were right
about you, Luke. Only a beast could let his true love die while withholding the key to her
survival. And with that I summoned a strength I wasnt sure I had to throw him out of my way.
This time he didnt follow me. In fact, I had no idea where he went but as I sulked in the back of
the cave alone I didnt give a damn. Forgiving his sins from one lifetime was something I found I
could do as soon as I was in his arms again, even before that I suppose. Forgiving him for
believing that I, as Charlotte, would have ever betrayed him, for believing four hundred years
after he left me that I never loved him at all? That wasnt hard since all I knew of that life was a
series of dreams. But hearing him admit that he had allowed me to die over and over again,
especially knowing that he saved Cherise without a second thought, that was too harsh a truth to
take in and forgive all in one night.
With dawn just an hour away, Mother sent Cook and Cherise out to find Luke when he had
not returned. Cherise was worried about the tension in the air but she was so excited about
traveling by air for the first time that she went without protest. When we were alone, I thought
Mother would begin immediately to chastise me for being childish as Luke had done. Instead she
sat beside of me and remarked nonchalantly, I heard the words that passed between the two of
you and while you seemed to have much to say you never bothered to ask who Galene and Badru
were. Did you notice you said the names at all? Did you not wonder where they came from?
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Until she mentioned it I had not, in fact, realized I uttered the names but I did remember now and
when I answered as much she nodded as if she suspected that. Cook and me. He was Badru and
I was Galeneonce. Only Calliope would have known that. Even Cherise has never heard our
true names. No one has spoken them in three thousand years.
Somehow with Mother the anger I felt so deeply eased down and I felt as if I could talk to
her of these things, gather information to mull over, as if this were another scholastic challenge I
wanted to take on instead of the story of my own evolution. Did you like me then? When I was
Calliope and you were Galene? I asked. It was a small step, this question, but it was an
important one.
She smiled brightly. I loved you very much. You were my niece. I was going to help the
two of you escape the city to be married until Lucius came and changed everything for us all.
Lucanias father did everything short of murder you both to keep you apart. Think of it, a poor
girl whose aunt was the familys slave marrying the nephew of the king of Crete? He was his
fathers eldest son, the one to carry on the legacy of the family, and then there was the matter of
his father hating him. Indeed he did. There is no denying it. Many rumors surrounded the
obvious hatred as it wasnt typical that a man in Lukes fathers high position should ever hate
his heir so much but I alone knew the truth. My mother, your grandmother from that life, had
been with Lukes mother all of her life and mother was her only confidant. Not only was his
mother from the mainland, as we called Greece then, something his father was ashamed of and
something that fueled his anger when his eldest son was born the spitting image of her, she was
also the reluctant mistress of the king. Whats more, both the alleged father and the real father
knew the truth, that the boy was the kings son, because the couple had not yet been inside a
marriage bed when the boy was conceived. As the years passed without Lukes mother ever
producing one legitimate child by her husband his hatred grew. If Luke had lived his mortal life
to the age of twenty five he would have inherited more land, more wealth, than that miserable
son of a bitch who raised him could have dreamed of and because the king had many heirs and a
fondness for his illegitimate son, he agreed to the marriage which meant the two of you would
share in Lukes wealth. His step-father hated him for that most of all. He did not want to see my
boy happy. You could have been the princess. It would not have mattered. As long as Luke knew
joy with you, his step-father would have kept the two of you apart.
It sounds quite dramatic, that story. I said but when I went to smile, an ache for Luke
welled up inside of me that did not belong to Arianne. It was true, all of it, and the full extent of
that cruel mans brutality toward the man I loved when he was still a man was another secret
pain my soul had carried through the ages. He didnt leave Calliope, did he? He sent me away
when he grew ill because he feared The tears came again and I covered my face with my
hands as I sobbed. Of course. He thought he was going to die and he knew that without him there
to protect me I would be at the mercy of his mothers husband. So he sent me to the mainland, to
the home of his mothers people, forcing Cook, my beloved Badru, to put me on the boat that
would carry me to safety. And why did he not seek me out when he was turned? How could he
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ever have thought that I would loathe him no matter what he had become? How could he fear
that he would hurt me? Oh, that stupid foolish boy! I cried out, though I had no idea where any
of this was coming from. It was like I had no control over the words that came from my mouth.
Something about a letter
When Luke took me in his arms, I wrapped my own arms around him and I sobbed against
his chest as if I hadnt seen him in centuries. In that moment that was just how I felt. Shh,
Arianne, dont. Its all passed. I never wanted to tell you any of this and this is why. There is too
much
When I looked up at him I saw that he, too, was crying blood tears for the past we shared. I
forgot the others in that moment as I gently brought his head down to my lips and I kissed the
tears, unable to resist licking the blood from my lips. Are they all as sad as that one? Will each
revelation end with the two of us weeping over things that we cant change now? If that is the
case, than I dont want to know any more than I do already.
Weve known sadness together but we have also known great joy. If you want to hear no
more, I will never mention any of this again. We will only go forward without looking back. But
if you do wish to know we will talk about it as we travel and I will tell you all. Think on it as
long as you need to. For now, the dawn is here and Cook and I must block the entrance so we
might sleep safely.
I dreamed that morning of an ocean so blue it almost hurt to look at it in the bright morning
sun. Luke was there with me only I did not look like me at all. My dark skin, my black hair, even
the shape of my bones was all a testament to my Minoan heritage. As he held me on the waters
edge he made a promise that although we could not yet call ourselves married, we were bonded
in a way that marriage vows could neither break nor strengthen. We were bound by our souls.
And because of that absolutely nothing would ever keep him from finding me. Even death could
not keep us apart, he swore, because as soon as I was born again he would hear my cry and come
to where I was. I will always hear youand I will always come! I knew then that when he
spoke those words to me the night he sent me away for Paris, he was not speaking of this life. He
really believed that he would never see me again as Arianne and he was reminding my soul of
his promise, sealing his spell, so I would never again spend four centuries lost to him. When I
awoke the following night I knew that I wanted to hear of every life we had shared since our
days in the sun of Crete.
When Luke awoke I was sitting next to him lost in my thoughts. We really must do
something with your sleeping schedule. He declared playfully. You wake too early.
Looking over at him I smiled. I awake with dusk, my love. I dont wake too early. You
sleep too long. Considering your great age, I would think that you would need less. Not more. I
replied. As he got up and readied himself to leave, to travel deeper into Bulgaria and closer to
Greece, I watched him with an intensity that I hadnt felt since the night that I was turned. Many
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thoughts were running through my mind but there was only one I felt I needed to share and as
soon as he had all that he needed and he was ready to leave the cave that had been our home for
the night, I said softly, I want to know everything, Lucania. I have run it over in my mind many
times and I know for certain that I want you to tell me all about the lives weve spent together.
He sat beside of me suddenly surprising me. I was curious about his reaction as he suddenly
seemed nervous or unsure and I thought he might back out of his promise to me. I knew I had my
own words from some of the lives and I could go over them when we retrieved our books but I
did not want to hear the stories from my own words from the past. I wanted to hear it from Luke.
I will tell you absolutely everything just as I said I would. But I must ask one thing of you.
Anything. I replied, my eyes subconsciously drifting toward our magical rose kept inside
his pocket. Its glow was so bright that you could see it through the material, this incredible thing
we made together. Yes, for him I knew I would do anything.
I am soon going to do something that may affect my life, my peace of mind, dramatically.
Let me get through that, let me do it, and when it is over I will tell you what you want to know.
He put his hand up as if to stop me from questioning him further, as if that was going to do
the trick. He had said nothing of such a plan before and as it seemed that it would not affect his
life alone I wanted to know all about it. The others were gone, out hunting as they waited for
Luke to wake. I would hunt with him as we traveled which is why I stayed behind. Because it
was just us two I saw no reason for him to keep his silence on this matter. What are you going
to do? When he only shook his head, I said in a sharp tone, If you are planning something that
will again alter my life than, by god, you will tell me what it is or you will go on from here
alone! As much as I love you, I feel I must remind you that I am no longer a girl and you will not
make choices for me anymore! You made the last when you sent me to Paris.
His glare was hard enough to kill. It always comes back to that, doesnt it? I will tell you
nothing except that this is nothing like the night I sent you toward your greatest dream and that it
is the hardest thing I have ever done, including sending you away, because I am not sure how it
will turn out. But it is something that must be done. For once in our lives could you please just
trust me?
I had many angry things on the tip of my tongue but when I saw the anguish in his eyes I
could not utter a single one. I assumed this was all about going back to Greece or on to Crete,
that he had finally decided it was time to face whatever demons lingered for him there. Since the
first night of our travels he had not mentioned a single objection toward our obvious destination,
even as Mother led us closer and closer to the place of their birth, the home that I once knew as
well. And in the nights that followed he seemed content, playing tour guide to Cherise and me
each time we came upon an interesting place that he had a story for. In one small village on the
border of Bulgaria and Greece he found in a shop keepers window the perfect glass globe for
our rose. Although carrying it would be a bit more of a hassle than carrying the flower alone,
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neither of us complained. Our flower was immortal, yes, but we were not willing to take any
chances when it seemed to be the closest thing to a child that we would ever have.
As soon as we crossed the border into Greece something changed in Luke. He was short
tempered, silent more often than not, and there was a look he wore that was a combination of
fury and heartbreak. From the moment he awoke until we found shelter at dawn it was the same.
I was trying to enjoy this new exotic place, a place of my dreams, but it was hard to do when
something was so obviously wrong with him. We all felt it. But none of us could say the right
thing to get him to talk to us about it. He made it as far as Athens before he finally revealed his
true plan to us all and the fight that followed was one that I shall never forget. By the end of it I
had become the enemy of my friend and I lost the family I held dear.
I awoke to shouting. We were staying in a beautiful place with a view of the Parthenon and I
had been dreaming of the city as it was three thousand years earlier. It was a horrible dream full
of pain and fear and I was happy to have done with it. But as my waking mind fought to make
out what was happening in the next room the fear inside of me rose once more. Mother and Luke
were screaming at one another in a way that I had never heard the two of them before and
Cherise was weeping as she sat at my side. Apparently it was she who woke me. What the hell
is going on? I asked.
Arianne, you have to stop him! Please! Go in there and tell him you wont leave us. Tell
him if he goes, he goes alone! Dont let him leave us, dont let him take you
Cherise, stop! Just stop! What are you talking about? I cried out.
It was Cook who gave me the explanation I needed to piece the situation together. His voice
was calm but the feelings of betrayal were coming off of him in waves as he spoke. Lucania
awoke just after the sun went down and he began packing your things along with his own. As
soon as we rose he told us that the two of you are leaving. He says he will not go back to Crete as
Mother wants to and that it is time for the two of you to set out on your own, that you need to
spend some time by yourselves. Is that how you feel as well, Arianne? Are we standing in the
way of your happiness?
No! Of course not! How could you think that I would ever feel that way? You are my
family. I have no idea whats going on but I swear that I will do what I can to set this right. And
to prove my point I jumped up immediately from the bed that Luke and I had shared since our
arrival.
We should have never come back to this place. Its not completely his fault. She knew that
this was wrongshe knew it was best to let it go Cook was still mumbling to himself when I
walked out.
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The battle between Luke and Mother came to an abrupt pause when I walked into the sitting
room. With her on one side of the room and him on the other, the two of them looked like
fighters about to go back into the ring for another round. I took advantage of the silence to
demand answers from Lucania. What in the hell are you doing? Are you really willing to lose
our family just to avoid Crete? Is that what all of this is about? We could easily stay here on the
mainland while the others go and reunite when they return. Its been three thousand years! How
could you be so childish?
Stay out of it! I am warning you
Using my preternatural speed just as he had taught me to, I was before him in a second.
Warning me, are you? Well, I am warning you that if you leave here you are going on your
own. I told you that I was through with you making my decisions for me and I meant every word
of that! I will not lose our family because you are too much of a coward to face your ghosts!
You little fool! It isnt his ghosts he is shying away from. Its yours. So what is that you
are afraid she will recall, Lucania? Do you think that crossing the water will make her remember
the way that she was drugged and bound, tossed on the kings ship against her will? Maybe you
think that when we reach our home she will remember that her love was as faithful as a broken
clock, that shell recall the times she caught you in the embrace of your whores. What makes me
laugh the most is that you are so afraid these places will make her recall what you dont want her
to know yet you insisted we stop here, in Athens, where her greatest tragedy of that life took
place. What game are you playing at, boy?
I felt as if I had stepped into a nightmare and I was powerless to stop anything that was
about to take place. Mothers words wounded me, confused me, but it was the hatred in her tone
toward me as well as Luke that cut me to the quick. I had done nothing wrong. I had no idea that
Luke was planning something so terrible. Yet it was clear she did not blame Luke alone for what
he was doing. Like a flash of light he moved toward her and before I could take in what he was
doing, he had her by her throat against the column at her back. You know very well that this has
nothing to do with memories! You know what youve done! I gave my life to you, Galene, and I
loved you as if you were my mother. I have more than repaid you for your years of service to me
and for the damned cursed blood you tricked me into taking. I think it is time you remember that
when all is said and done, you are nothing but my familys slave and you will not tell me that I
must stay when I want to go! You will not ruin this life I have with her! You will not do her
harm! Dropping her, he finished with, I know who I am and as the son of the king you should
feel fortunate that I gave you as much of my time as I did! How dare you try to take this!
Luke, how could you? I cried out. I felt disgust well up inside of me as I went to Mother.
Looking up at Luke from my place at her side on the floor, I could see no trace of the man I
knew at all. How could you hurt her? How dare you speak to her that way! If you think I would
ever go with you after that
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Mother suddenly pushed me away from her and it was me that she slapped across the face.
Oh, you will go because this is all your fault. Every time he loved you, you took a piece of him
away. You robbed him of the boy I once loved and you turned him into the monster he has
become. I cannot recognize him anymore and that is all because he loved you far too much so I
will be damned if the bitch who killed my son will stay under the same roof with me!
Mother, you dont mean that! I cried out. The hurt, the shock, was like fire flowing
through me threatening to burn me up. I had done absolutely nothing! Luke was already
rounding up the few things we had, carrying the bags in so we could go. This was not what I
wanted. If we were to part ways I could not stand to think that it would be like this.
I am NOT your Mother! You betrayed me, Calliope! You have your revenge just as you
said you would so go and enjoy it but dont you ever come looking for me again because the next
time we meet I will slaughter you! GO!

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Chapter 3
It was to the air that Luke took me and I couldnt think clearly as we traveled through the
warm night sky. I knew that there was something very important that I was missing. Talk of
revenge and great tragedy, Mothers sudden hatred for me, Lukes terrible wordsthis was far
more than it seemed on the surface when I first woke up. The mystery only intensified when we
landed on a beach that I knew from a dream I had not so long ago. This isnt the place I think it
is. Tell me you did not rip apart our family and then bring me to Crete! I seethed as he paced
back and forth in the sand. When he said nothing and he didnt miss a step I grabbed his arm.
Luke! Wake up! What have you done?
Ive just saved you! Thats what Ive done! The rational part of my mind is telling me that
you stood against me because you remember nothing. Of course you dont! Youve lived one
hundred times since then! But the part of me that feels without reason is so hurt, so betrayed by
the way you treated me back there that I cant even stand to look at you right now! Please, sit.
Give me a moment.
He looked as mad as he sounded and I feared that he was slipping into the insanity that
almost claimed me in London. This was all too much. I felt as if everyone was against me and
that they all shared a secret that I would pay for without knowing what it was. I sat as close to the
waters edge as I could and I watched in fascination as my blood tears fell into the water staining
it red before me. The concentration I gave the water threatened to break into something else
altogether. A fight, much like the one we just left behind, over Lukes plan to take me to the
mainland. Mother, or Galene as she was known to me then, was swearing somethingsomething
terrible against me. News of Lukes illnessmy promise to Mother that I would get my revenge
for what she had done to us even if it took Arianne, come back! Come back to me! I looked
up into the unchanging face of a man that was ripped away from me so long ago in this very
place and I whispered helplessly, I feel as if Ive gone mad. There is too much happening, too
much that I dont understand!
Despite the anger he had just moments before, he took me into his arms and said softly, I
know, my love, I know. But you will. By the time we leave this place I promise you will
understand all that just happened between Galene and me. You will understand why we had to
go.
We walked in silence toward the city where our story began. I felt exhausted and to remedy
that, Luke found us a room at an inn and he left me there bringing me back a feast of a man, a
kill better than any I had had since we left France. As I sucked the blood from his artery like it
was the milk of my mother, I saw his dark and twisted images but I saw images that belonged to
me as well. A call to the Gods that no matter what, my love would never dieneverNever
part. I whispered as I dropped the dead man to the floor. Yes. I asked that Luke and I never part.
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What happened to you? What did you see? Luke questioned as he lay at my side in the
bed we had rented. The body was gone and dawn was approaching. I wasnt aware of the depth
to which a vampire could feel absolute exhaustion until that moment. The fight, the mode of
travel, the strange things inside my head, the events of the nightit left me drained.
Well talk about it tonight. You are going to help me make sense of all of this, remember?
Lets just sleep for now. I have a feeling that when the moon comes up there will be plenty of
conversation between us and all of it will lead me toward a strange place in my soul. I had no
idea how right I was about that.
The vampire who always awoke at least an hour after sunset woke me that evening as soon
as the last colored rays had faded from the sky. He seemed almost excited about this pilgrimage
of sorts that we were on which annoyed me as I went toward it with fear and trepidation. But
when he led me away from the inn I followed him. He wouldnt tell me where we were going but
as we walked he remarked on how much things had changed. More importantly, he told me the
way that they had changed. That was the market place in our time here. You went there often
with Galene. Sometimes Badru would accompany you. He followed you to protect you of
course. Toward the end of our lives here I feared for your safety every day.
The place he was referring to was still the center of town but it was clear of any stands of
fruit or booths that sold wool. It was now completely empty of anything except for a cobbled
road and the traffic that was traveling it. Why are you calling them by their old names? I asked
absentmindedly. My mind was only half in the present. Something was trying to come back to
me, something dark and sinister.
I dont feel up to calling Galene Mother tonight and here Badru was so much more than
just a cook. He replied passionately yet when I looked at him I knew he was telling me only a
half truth.
Twice he got turned around, confused by the way that things had changed. But the second
time something strange happened. I was able to lead us out of the town toward the place I knew
he was trying to get to. Whats more, I knew at last where he was taking me. We swore that
once we left we would never return to this place, Lucania. I remember that. When we made the
plan to go to Athens, when you chose to give up your step-fathers title for the land and the
wealth that the king secured for you, we said we were going to go and never ever return. So why
are you taking me here?
He stopped dead in his tracks and I knew in my soul why it took him so long to return. This
hurt worse than anything I had ever known as Arianne. Calliopes pain seemed to have seeped
into the very soil that we stood on. If we kept going, if we walked another fifteen minutes, we
would be on the spot where it all began between us and where the life we planned was ripped to
shreds in the bitter end. You are remembering. This wasnt a question. He knew that I was
starting to figure things out at last.
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Galene was never going to help us escape. She was never going to let you go. She gave up
everything for you. That was how she felt. She gave up her chance to marry and have
childrenas if your step father had nothing to do with it. As if she wasnt his slave. If she had to
destroy us both to make sure you repaid her in kind, she would do it. And she did. I went down
on my knees and I hit the ground with my fist. This was the last spot I ever saw him. I turned
back one last time, just before he had Badru to ambush me. I turned back and I prayed that the
illness would pass and he would be well enough to travel in two weeks timeThat Zeus would
protect him and that Hera would bring him back to me. I prayed that even if we died in our quest,
our souls would never part
Yes. She poisoned me. It was no disease that threatened to take my mortal life. She used
Badru, sweet, kind Badru to slowly poison my meals until I had no choice but to take the blood. I
tried to go to you, Arianne. Even after I was turned I was going to go back to Athens for you.
The only hope I saw in the darkness I was thrust into was that you and I could be together
forever. But she put fear in my heart, convinced me that if I didnt kill you, you would still
despise me for what I had become. I could not face that. I wrote you while we were at sea to tell
you that this was the end for us in that lifetime but as soon as you were born again
You would hear my first cry and you would find me. Just as you promised on the beach.
As we looked at one another eye to eye I saw what Calliope had not. I saw the beauty in our
tragedy. Touching his cheek I said softly, And you did. Every time.
Kissing my palm he shook his head. No, not every time. I was so angry with Charlotte, I
felt so betrayed, that I never told herI never sealed the spell. As she ran I forgot to call out to
her and assure her that I would always hear her cry.
I chuckled despite myself. The guilt was pouring off of him for the centuries we lost even as
we sat there together bound by more than love for all time. I think one can be forgiven for
making one mistake in three thousand years, Lucania. You found me and this time you saved me
for good. You kept your promise to me. It was because you kept that promise that Galene was so
set on bringing me back. She cast a spell of her own, didnt she? She was going to bring me here
to trap my soul. Why didnt you warn me, my love? Why didnt you tell me when you turned me
that she could not be trusted? I loved her! I loved her like a mother. Do you know what that is
like, to lose your mother and then gain another only to have her ripped from you as well?
Helping me up off the ground, he held my hand in his as we walked. I had no idea that she
had cast such a spell. I knew nothing of that last fight between you. When I spoke of my plan in
the cave I was talking about coming back here. Just as Galene said last night, there are things that
I did that I would rather you not remember. There is one thing in particular that I would hide
from you if I could. But I promised to tell you all so I cannot. That was what I had to face. But
when we set foot in Greece, almost immediately, Galene began to think on her plan and on that
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last time you saw her here. Her taste for revenge against you had driven her to the point of
madness as it did back then. She forgot to lock her mind. That was when my plan changed.
What about Cherise and Badru? How could you leave them there like that? They believe
that we feel as if they are keeping us from happiness, that we left because they were spoiling our
joy. Knowing that breaks my heart!
Badru loves us both completely. He has never wavered in his loyalty to me and the bond
between us has been there all of our lives. But she has him bound to her for good or ill. He
knows why I left and he will tell Cherise the truth. Perhaps in time they will find us. I hope that
they do. Maybe Galene will realize what she has done now that she has lost me and the time will
come when we all make peace and put the past behind us. But for now, little beauty, it is just us.
Dont fret. Our family knows the truth. They know we did not abandon them.
It took me a few nights of soul searching to process everything that I knew and to put aside
the pain that I felt at being betrayed so completely by someone that I loved so much. But once I
did put that aside I began to analyze the situation in a way that would have made my papa proud.
As Luke and I walked the beach one night I asked the question that was burning in my mind.
All of this talk of spells and Godswas there really magic in your world back then?
Luke laughed at me as he gently stroked my hair. There is still magic in the world, Arianne.
Magic has always been and always will be. The difference lies in what the people believe. Back
then we all knew magic. We learned about it the same way you learned about history and art. It
was part of our studies, you see. When new religions came to suppress the old ways, the people
were told that magic was an illusion but they were also told that using it was a sin. That paradox
has always amused me. How can you make a sin of something you claim is not real? Anyway,
the people eventually let go of the knowledge we had. Today there are very few who know about
it. The witches, the Pagans, they have been shoved into the shadows just as we have. For
centuries they have been hunted, burned alive, because the most frightening thing for a belief
system designed to control is having people out there who know that they control their own
destinies. That is what magic does, you see. It allows you to do anything you dream of doing and
all you have to do is believe. Sounds so simple doesnt it? But thats not so if youve spent a
lifetime believing that magic does not exist or that it comes from some mythical creature that is
going to set fire to your soul for all time. We were taught to respect magic, to love it, to use it
wisely. The people of today are taught to dismiss it, to fear it. That is the difference in us and
them.
This was all so strange to me. I had seen him use magic before. The night that I was turned
he showed me a delightful trick indeed. But I suppose I thought that he was able to do it because
he was a vampire. I never guessed that such a thing was available to humans as well. That led me
back to the prayer I sent out to the Gods and I had to ask, Did our souls know each other simply
because I asked for it? Are you sure that what bound us was love alone and not magic?
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Turning me around so I faced him he looked at me in a serious way as he put his hands on
either side of my face. Dont you understand? True love is the most powerful magic of all.
Despite the fact that we had a case for it, Luke insisted on carrying our rose with him anytime we
left our room. Taking it out of his pocket, he held it gently in his hands and he insisted I put my
hands over his. Do you feel that, little beauty? Do you feel that energy pulsing through a rose
that bleeds real blood, the rose made of our love and our sorrow? Love made this into an
immortal bloom. Love can change everything in the blink of an eye. It can turn an ordinary
person into a hero because love makes us do things we had no idea we were capable of just to
find it and protect it. But just like magic, love in the wrong hands can be the most destructive
force on earth. Love is magic. So of course it was magic that bound us. We are meant to be. And
should you ever forget that, He dropped the rose tenderly into my hands. Should you ever
forget, just remember this bloom. It is a living testament to what love can do.
I could feel the power in it and the energy of it made me grin for no reason at all. It made me
feel as if I were drunk, the sort of feeling where you are on top of the world and absolutely
nothing could bring you down. It is terrible that such a beautiful thing as this has been lost in
the world of humans. They need it, Luke. Can you imagine how different places like my village
and its poor people would be if they knew how to control something like this? But they will
never know. Their children will never know. It seems strange that only creatures like us, beings
of darkness, should know such light. I said thoughtfully. Holding that flower in my hand made
me feel as if I wanted everyone on earth to know the power that surrounded them, both the love
and the magic.
Its not completely lost to them. There are those who keep its secrets and one day I believe
that the world will change and people will again realize what they are actually able to do if only
they believe that they can. Until then we are keeping the magic alive. We have something very
special in the flower but we have something just as special in every kiss, every touch, every
whispered endearment. As I said, true love is the most powerful magic of all. Be thankful that it
hasnt been lost to the human race as well.
The next night Luke taught me how to fly into the air on my own. It wasnt so much flying
as propelling myself upward and allowing the wind to take me where I wanted to go. Sounds so
simple, doesnt it? It took the entire night for me to get it right. Tis a good thing I was not in a
fragile human body or that lesson would have killed me for all the times I fell. At one point we
went into the tavern in town to practice the tiny drink on humans. I had only ever done this with
animals so Luke was there to guide me and make sure that I did not take the thirst too far. Twice
I did it effortlessly absorbing pleasant memories of my victims as if they were the key to my
survival. Perhaps in some way they were. But on the third try something strange happened. I
used my eyes to hypnotize a girl, a barmaid who was no more than seventeen. Hypnosis was a
gift that came natural to me so there was no problem there. But when I started to drink from her,
memories came to me that did not belong to the girl at all. I was in Athens and I was giving birth
alone. Over and over again I cried out Lucanias name believing that he would hear me and come
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to me as I brought his daughter into the world. Just like I did as infection raged through my body
I tried to rely on his promise to come at the sound of my cry without knowing that he meant only
my first crythe one I would let out in my next lifebut why did he not hear the cry of his own
child? Stop it, Arianne! You are killing her!
My god, what have I done? My whispered words were full of horror when I realized that
her heart was barely beating. She was going to die.
Step aside! He commanded but I stayed where I was. I knew what he was going to do but
I had just drank from her. If he gave her blood after I fed from her Yes, you fed from her. But
I did not. She wont turn, Arianne. Now move before shes dead!
As he discreetly offered her the blood she needed to live, my mind was far off in the bed in
Athens where a daughter was born and where Calliope died. I knew that the reason I saw this
when I drank the girls blood was because she was a descendant of that baby born to Luke and
me all those years ago and when he tried to take my arm, to lead me out, I stayed firm. Shes of
our blood, Lucania! I cried out helplessly.
That is no vampire, I assure you. He replied with a laugh.
No! She is from the blood of our mortal selves, a product of the child I bore you three
thousand years ago! I cant just He had me out the door and in the air before I could protest.
But as soon as we were back in the room I tried to leave. I must go back! I have to do
something! The girl is a barmaid, for gods sake! She has nothing and she is part of us. We could
turn her, we could take her from this place and it would be like
Having that child again? Arianne, that is not an option. The girl doesnt even have your
blood in her veins anymore. You died bringing her ancestor into the world.
Yes, I did and I died alone because you were too much of a coward to come and face me! It
might not have been the first cry of the baby I became but I know you heard me that night. You
heard me screaming your name and you heard the cry of that beautiful baby we made and even
then you did not return. You can blame it on Mother all you want but it was your choice to
ignore me as I lay dying and it was your choice to not return for her. You left me by myself and
you left our daughter an orphan. Now you say I cannot do anything to help the girl we just saw
who is the last of what we had here? I shouted. I was furious with him, not just for that night but
for my last night as Calliope and for what I faced alone.
I promise that I will leave her money. I will leave her a great deal of it if that will put a
smile back on your face. But as much as it pains you to have learned the secret I wanted most to
keep from you in such a way, you have to let go of the bond you felt back in that tavern. She
isnt our daughter, my love. A product of our love? Yes, but not the child we lost. I wouldnt turn
her if she were. If you were older you would feel the same way. That girl will have the money to
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do what she pleases with her life by dawn but at dusk you and I are leaving. Weve done
everything we needed to do in this place and it is time you said goodbye to Calliope. You have
much left to learn, of whom youve been and of what you are now. Are you alright to go?
Yes. I replied softly as I sat down on the bed. He was right about everything. This girl did
not know us and we did not know her. She couldnt replace what was lost and instead of feeling
despair for it all, I should feel joy that the daughter I once gave birth to did go on and she had
children, children who had children, the genetic bond between Luke and me remaining with each
generation. There was a piece of us in the world and it was more important that there should
always be than that I should kidnap this stranger and turn her for carrying the blood of my blood.
I am sorry that you found out about the child in this way. I was going to tell you myself. I
even intended to take you back to Athens to do it though I admit I am glad that now I wont have
to risk that. I am also sorry for the coward I was. I did hear your cries that night. I saw you as if I
was in the room with you and when I realized you were dying I was going to go to you. But it
was daylight where I was and I would have died as soon as I stepped outside my hiding place. So
I had to watch helplessly as you took your last breath. As I told you before, sweet girl, in each
lifetime the reasons were different for not giving you the dark gift but in every life except for this
one they were there. Still, I am sorry. I should have been with you all that time. I should have
never refused to go back.
I nodded and I smiled at him, accepting his apology. When he left to take gold to the tavern,
to make sure that the girl we saw was set up for the rest of her life, I laid there in the room and I
thought on all of this. There was so much more to life than most humans would ever know.
Magic, rebirth, darkness, all of it existing right alongside creatures that were so ordinary
compared with us. Perhaps it was true that the soul of a person was what made every creature
more than its shell. The soul was magical whether it was inside a vampire, a human, or a bug.
The shells of who we are defined us on earth but we were all so much more than that. It was truly
a comfort to believe that. I felt so sorry for humans when I thought of Luke and me. He knew me
in every single life and we still hadnt been able to get things quite right between us until this
one. How would a human ever manage to find the other part of their soul with so short a time to
live on both parts? How did humans ever get to taste what I had with Luke? Because the soul
always knows. I whispered to myself. Of course. Luke was not the only one who felt
recognition the night he found me in the snow. As soon as I awoke I knew him. I didnt know
how and I didnt know why, but he was as familiar to me as an old lover should be. I found
peace in all of this and when we left Crete the next night I was prepared for my life to come,
feeling a hope that I couldnt remember having any time before.
We went first to Italy and when we found ourselves in Venice I couldnt help but ache a
little. Though I had never been to this city before, the reasons for my previous absence there
pained me still. Etiennes death was something I left behind in Paris. The fact that he died so
short a time before my attack and my reunion with Luke never occurred to me. I didnt realize
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until I was sitting in a restaurant in the city that had broken him so completely that I did not
grieve for him as I should have. Because I left Crete feeling as if I had the whole world ahead of
me, I insisted we stay only one night in the beauty of Venice. We would come back one night so
I could see it properly but it was still too soon for me to be there.
In a small village close to Rome Luke insisted we stop when I planned to just pass through. I
questioned him about this only to receive a smile lost in memories I couldnt recall. You were
Bella here. My Italian beauty you were then. You had stolen more hearts than anyone in the
country and you didnt give a damn about any of it. Love was the last thing on your mind. You
wanted to paint, to have someone take you under their wing as they had done with your male
counterparts. This was in the days of Romes glory and there was no way that a woman was ever
going to be accepted in any world outside her home but you swore that you would lay down your
life if you had to in order to have your dream. I promised you the world and you refused, even
though you loved me. But when I promised you your freedom you accepted me completely. I
could not get you recognition under your own name. But I made you quite famous under a
pseudonym and I claimed to be the patron of the elusive male talent they all believed you
were
But someone figured it out. One day they came for me and you couldnt save me. They
killed me as you slept. Shrugging, I smiled. I died doing what I wanted most and I had a love
so great the poets would have wept for it. It was a good life, Luke. I regretted nothing in those
last moments. So lets head on to Rome.
As soon as we arrived in the ancient city, Luke stopped in his tracks and put his head up as if
he were looking for something. In that moment he reminded me of an animal about to track his
prey. Without a word he began to move very fast and I followed him but when I tried to ask him
what we were heading toward he only put his hand up to stop me. Something about the way he
was acting warned me to be quiet and watch and as we approached a large old building, one that
looked as if it had been truly great in its prime, I felt that tingle all over my body as I had felt it
in London. Someone was here and it was no mortal Luke was tracking. Stay behind me just in
case I am wrong about who is inside. He commanded.
But who do you think it is? By the time the words were out of my mouth he was moving
again.
Down into a basement of sorts we went with every part of me feeling as if it were alert and
alive, waiting for any danger that might come. Yes, there was a vampire here, one that was quite
powerful. My time in London taught me the difference in my reaction to young vampires that
were not so strong and the old ones that could destroy me. The stronger that tingle was, the more
alert I became, the older the vampire close to me turned out to be. And I had never felt like this
before. As Luke slowly reached for a doorknob outside of a room the door swung open and a
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vampire with dark blonde hair had Luke pinned to a wall in the blink of an eye. Get off him,
you bastard or Ill But the pair was suddenly laughing even as the vampire put Luke down.
Your reflexes should be better, Lucania. I am a bit disappointed in you. How many
vampires take kindly to their hideouts being intruded on? You should have known that whoever
was on the other side of that door, they would sense you and come out fighting. The stranger
said as he slapped Luke on the back. Suddenly another appeared, a vampire as beautiful as my
love. He had on no shirt and his hair hung down his back, straight and black like Lukes. But his
eyes were darker and they were full of pain.
I was quite prepared to fight until I saw you, Lucius. It would not have been fitting to fight
back against you. As long as youve kept yourself apart from the world, I doubt youve had a
proper fight in years and I would never take advantage of my maker. Ah, Angelus, its been a
long time. Too longfor all of us.
So these were the first vampires on earth? I dont know what I expected the father of all
vampires to be like but this blonde haired, green eyed stranger wasnt it at all. He smiled easily,
he seemed like delightful company, and there wasnt a great deal of mystery around him. Now
the other one? Angelus? He was much different in comparison. As Lucius, the fallen demi-God,
led us inside the room the two were sharing I watched Angelus in awe. He seemed like a walking
mystery to me and I wanted very much to know him. He had suffered great pain, a pain he still
carried, but it had not made him soft. No, his pain was like a shield around him, hard and
impenetrable. Luke made his introductions but both of them seemed preoccupied with an
elephant in the room. I didnt understand this. I also didnt know what to say to them. So aside
from the usual Hello, nice to meet you bit, I said nothing. I sat beside of Luke and I listened as
Lucius asked about Mother, whom he still referred to as Galene, and I almost cringed as Luke
told the story of the fight in Athens. But why would she wish to harm this girl? Lukes maker
asked.
Because Arianne is more than what we see before us now. Ive met her before. We both
have. A few times, actually, we have crossed her path. Am I correct? Angelus asked Luke but
his eyes never left mine. He was trying to probe my mind and I locked it against him. Why was
he looking at me like that?
Yes. The last time you saw her, she was Annalise. Luke replied softly.
The girl you gave up blood for, the one who hated what you are? Surely not! That girl is
dead. We all heard about it. And she looks nothing like Lucius paused, looking at me now in
some sort of wonder. So the stories were all true, everything we heard about your wanderings?
All that time you followed Calliopes soul. Thats incredible. But why did you not tell me when
we came to you? Do you know what we risked to join together and intervene on your behalf?
There were vampires who said that you had gone mad. Although I would not see Galene she did
see Angelus and she told him that she feared if you did not get better you would be mad and she
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would have to destroy you. Stories spread through the aid of vampire gossip that you were
getting worse after we left and we had to send word that no matter what you were to be left
alone. There were some, old ones of course, who wanted to go and destroy you themselves. If
you had only told me
What? What should I have told you? That she was my love and I couldnt let her go but I
lacked the courage to turn her as well? Would that have been better than believing that a woman
had me so enthralled that I had sworn off all blood but her own?
Yes. Angel said simply. His eyes were still on mine but somehow I knew his thoughts had
changed. It was no longer me he was focusing on but rather his own love, Rapunzel, the vampire
from the priests book. He was thinking of all Luke had done to keep me and of what a fool he
had been to ever let her go. I wanted to shake him, to tell him that he could go after her now and
right whatever wrongs were between them. I did not know them but I did know that if she was
his true love no amount of water under the bridge was too much to keep her from accepting him
if he came to make things right. Suddenly he jumped up from his chair across from me knocking
it over in the process. You stay the hell out of my mind or I will snap your neck! He shouted,
pointing at me. Then to Luke he said, Of course it would have been better to know the truth,
you goddamned fool! Do you think Lucius would have begrudged you this task you had assigned
yourself for her? He has loved Galene since he first saw her in Crete yet he has not the strength
to go to her even now, now when she needs his love and wisdom the most! He swore her off
because of the revenge she wanted on the girl at your side all those years ago knowing he alone
might cure her of it all! We have all been fools where love is concerned. So it took you awhile to
get it right. Join the rest of us! We thought we were going to be forced to come for you. We
thought that it was only a matter of time before we would be forced to kill you! Do you have any
idea what that was like for us? And all the while I could tell him nothing because of an old
promise I made to you!
I expected some strong reaction from Luke to all of this. I hoped he would say something
that would help me make sense of what was being said. Surely there could not have been a time
when I was cruel enough to ask Luke to give up blood, the thing he needed to survive. Did I
actually tell him I despised his vampire nature? Oh, the thought of it tore like a knife into my
chest. But instead of clarifying things or arguing with Angel, he smiled. Yes but on the way
back home from threatening me you met Rapunzel. You found your own love. You should be
thanking me instead of flinging blame.
Remind me of your role in that mess once more and I might just chain you to an open
window at dawn. Enough time has not passed for me to feel gratitude toward you for taking me
from Italy and forcing me to cross paths with the princess. Angelus replied.
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Technically she was a queen. If she was married to Richard the Lionheart, I mean. He was
a king so that made her a queen, not a princess. I interjected softly, more to myself than to the
men around me.
You have no idea how right you are about that! A queen she is indeed! And for the first
time, Angel laughed. Like the first time I heard Luke laugh, I saw that there was a kind side to
this creature despite the darkness in his eyes. Coming to Luke, he slapped him on the back.
Well, I am happy for you, dear brother. I am happy you got it right this time and your eternal
search is over. Your habit of chasing babies was a bit worrisome for the entire race. Dont fuck it
up this time. Dont ever let her go. Gesturing for me to stand, Angelus shocked me by hugging
me to him. Affection washed over me. It was like seeing an old friend for the first time in ages
and finding the friendship unchanged by the hands of time. You dont remember me now and
you hated me the last time I saw you but there was a time, a few times, when you and I were
great friends. I can tell by the way he is acting that you wont be here long but one night when
the two of you are settled I will come for a visit and we will pick up where we left off. I am glad
that you are finally where you belonged all along.
We stayed only three nights with these ancient creatures but in those three nights I learned
much about the vampire species and about our hosts themselves. When it came to who we were
as a race, Lucius was a wonderful teacher. It seemed he had attempted to keep track of our
bloodline, carrying a thick book with him and writing down the names of any new fledglings he
came across as well as their makers. If he heard of a death he made careful note of it. He had
become a legend among our kind not only because he was the first vampire but also because he
kept himself on the outside of it all. Very few had ever met him. He received his information
from a handful of the old ones he had sired. He did not mingle, he did not make friends, and he
did not allow himself the comfort of anothers kindness. It was as if he had condemned himself
to eternal solitude. I thought this was far worse than the curse cast on him by the Gods.
When he showed me his great book and I saw the tree he had made with all of its branches
and names I was surprised by how many vampires there were but I was more surprised by how
many never survived their first century. This was probably for the best, I reasoned. If each
vampire that was made survived for all time the world would be overrun and because the dark
gift in the wrong hands led to death and destruction for the human race, we would probably soon
run out of blood and human companionship. Lucius talked to me about our relationship with
humans, the way he saw things. He said that over time there seemed to be a deepening division
amongst vampires between those who sought to live in harmony with humans and those who saw
them as nothing more than a food supply. He found this disturbing, that there were so many who
did not see that having close relationships with people kept vampires from losing their humanity.
He even admitted that he had formed more bonds with humans in his existence than he had with
our own kind. He also told me about the complicated relationships of vampires, the rules that had
formed over the centuries, and the hierarchy that existed among us.
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It isnt something that is said outright, passed from maker to fledgling, not usually. But in
our world it is known that if a vampire needs help and it is a problem the maker cannot solve,
Angel or I can be called upon to intervene. This often happens when a vampire goes mad. The
makers attempt to bring the vampire around and if they cannot, they call upon us. We try
everything we can but if the situation is bad enough and there appears to be no hope, we destroy
the vampire at once. But it isnt always that. If I hear word that there is a vampire orphaned by
his or her maker I attempt to contact the maker and I will force that maker to return, to teach the
fledging what he or she must know to survive. If the maker has perished I take the newborn
vampire under my wing. Ultimately, I am responsible for each and every vampire on this earth. I
am a father to them all. I will always do everything I can to make sure our race is as healthy as it
can be and that we integrate as much as possible with the humans we share the earth with. It is a
responsibility that I take very seriously. Angelus aids me when he can. Without him I dont know
how I would have survived the years of darkness. He is truly the greatest gift I have received
since I was cast out. In addition to all of this, it is known that if there is a dispute among
vampires that cannot be settled by those involved, I have the final word on what should happen.
This is rare but it happens. Putting out the call to leave Luke alone when you were Annalise was
an example of that.
This was all useful knowledge and I soaked it in the way I had once taken in lessons on
foreign languages and epic books. But there was something far more personal that I was after.
Luke would not tell me. Lucius was no help. So it was to Angelus that I went seeking answers
about what had happened when I was Annalise. If Luke has said nothing it is probably because
he thinks it best that you not know the tale just yet. Why would I disregard that? Angel asked in
response to my inquiry about this life long passed.
With Luke out hunting with his maker on this, our final night in Rome, I thought it was my
last chance to get answers and I wasnt giving up that easily. Tell me this. Did I really make
him swear off blood?
Yes. Angel replied in exasperation. Closing the book he was reading, he sat up straight
and looked around as if to make sure that my love was not close by. You made him swear off
blood but not all blood. He was allowed to drink from you your monthly blood which was barely
enough to keep him alive. The story became legendary among our kind. I myself mentioned it
the night that Rapunzel left me. Humans have tales like Romeo and Juliet to demonstrate tragic
love, to put it on a pedestal as if to remind themselves to cherish the love they find. Well, to
vampires the story of Annalise and Luke is almost like our Romeo and Juliet. But when it is
passed around the ending and the details are always left out as if, like humans, we do not want
the reality of betrayal to interfere in a perfect tragic love story.
I betrayed him? How?
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You died and thats enough of all this! With everything that has happened since you turned
and all that you have faced in so short a time I refuse to bring all of this up right now. Christ,
Arianne, cant you demonstrate some patience for once in your life? Luke shouted behind me,
startling me.
But you let me find out about Calliope. What could possibly be more difficult than that? I
questioned, staring Luke down. He had come in so quickly, so quietly, like a ghost sneaking up
on us.
Because I wronged Calliope. With Annalise the story is quite different. It is one thing to
learn that youve been hurt by the man you love. It is another thing to learn that you were the one
who wounded him to the core. I dont want to bring that guilt upon you.
Without a word I left them there, the three of them, and I went out on my own to hunt and
to think. Luke had a point with his comparison. Before I pushed further I needed to decide if I
was ready to face the fact that there was a time when I was cruel to the man I love. I believed
that there was more to it than making him swear off blood, as if that alone wasnt bad enough. I
stayed with him and I let him love me but I would not show him love in return. Could I handle
the truth of that? After taking the life of a cutthroat I returned to the hideout to find the men in
some great debate over something that happened to them in Bulgaria a long time ago. I sat
silently at Lukes side waiting for the talk to cease and for the others to go to their rooms. It
seemed like a long time passed before I had what I wanted but when we were alone at last, I
kissed him and I looked him in the eye to deliver my decision. I want you to tell me all about
Annalise. I want to know our story.
So it is to Russia that you want to go in the middle of February? He questioned in
response, as if the cold and snow was an obstacle for creatures like us.
If that is what it takes. I replied.
Gripping my shoulders, he said in a voice that was almost desperate, I do not hold any
grudges for what happened between us then. You will see that, while it was Charlotte who got
the blame for betraying me, what she did was nothing compared with what Annalise did. But
Annalise did the only thing she knew to do. Her love for me and her conception of right and
wrong were at odds with one another. She couldnt come to terms with it all. I accept that now.
Do you understand?
No. I replied honestly. But I assume I will once the story is out. And with that I
unfastened his pants intent on making love to him, savoring what we had before I cast myself
into a time when I threw it all away.

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Chapter 4
There seemed to be a dark cloud over us on the journey to Russia. I was reluctant to leave
Angel and Lucius behind. I even asked them to travel with us but it appeared that they had plans
for that old building, something about a university, and nothing could take them from it. Because
of the distance between Rome and Russia Luke decided that we would travel only part of the
way by air so we had plenty of time together on land but it was clear that this was a journey he
wanted no part of. I tried to get him to prepare me for what I would learn but he would give me
nothing in advance. When we got close to Moscow he did have this to say about our trips into
my past. After this we are not chasing down old lives anymore, at least not for a while. If we
come across a place you knew once and something surfaces for you, well talk about it. But there
will be no more of this. So take a deep breath, sweet girl. You are about to meet a side of
yourself that you may never come to terms with. That is no easy task. I have done it more than I
care to think on and each time was as hard as the time before.
All thoughts of being a cruel bitch once were put aside as soon as I walked into the city
proper. It was absolutely beautiful to me and while I knew that many places had changed, some
of the most beloved structures in the city remained. Yes, this had been home once. I felt it in my
heart. Recognition came even faster than it had with the memories of Calliope in Crete, perhaps
because there was less time separating me from the life of Annalise. I led Luke toward a place
that offered shelter, a hotel that was once part of an elaborate palace. We had said nothing to
each other since we arrived in the city and as I stood at the window overlooking this frozen
dreamland I felt completely alone. This wasnt our trip at all. This was my pilgrimage, a strange
attempt to make peace with all I could not understand, the things I would not face, when I was
living then. Come. I demanded in a voice that was not my own. Taking to the air I led him into
woods outside of the city, to a place now ruined by time that was once his. This is it, isnt it?
This is where you kept me.
This is where we stayed, yes. He replied, clearly correcting me. But that wasnt how I felt
in that moment at all.
I was fleeing the city when you found me. My parents were dead, my brothers were gone,
and I was terrified. I fell at your feet that first time I saw you and I would often remark later
Oh, this was horrible the bitterness inside of me. Had I really felt this way about him once for all
he could not change?
You would remark that it was appropriate, this meeting, because I believed my place was
high above you from that point on. Yes, I remember.
I gave him a look that was full of remorse even as I continued toward the house. I knew that
if I crossed that threshold there would be no turning back yet I went forward with Luke
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following behind me. At first you were my savior. I worshipped you. I wanted marriage, babies,
forever. But then the night came when I caught you feeding. I wanted to leave you. I knew that I
should. Who could love a monster that lived off the blood of human beings? But my love was
too strong, my need for you was too great, for me to walk away. I told you that I loved you for
what was inside of you but I despised the creature you were. You were weeping in my lap and I
couldnt stand the sight of your red tears. I refused to reach out and give you as much as a pat on
the head for comfort. I actually told you I had continued to walk as all of this came back to
me and I was at the top of a great staircase but my legs would not hold me as I remembered just
how horrible I had been to him. I actually told you that I was sickened by you. Oh, Luke
Taking me into his arms, he declared forcefully, Thats enough for tonight. Well return
later to all of this.
No! I will do this once and only once and the time for it is now. You can stay here if you
like but I am going on. To prove my point, I stood and I proceeded toward the room that once
was mine.
Sitting in the middle of the floor of a large room that was once decorated with beautiful
furniture and great treasures purchased just for me, I went back to the night that I told him he had
a choice to make. He could swear off blood or I would leave. But I will starve to death if I dont
feed! He protested apologetically, as if he had any reason to feel sorry for what he couldnt
control. But that was how I made him feel, wasnt it? No, you wont. I happen to be a woman
my love. I will have blood that you can take one week a month. It will be yours, every drop. If
you have times when more is needed, you may take it from my own wrist. I wont let you starve.
Much as I hate what you are, I still love the man within.
I made a promise to him that if he could do this for five years I would allow him to make me
what he was. I was sickened by the thought of it, the idea of being a creature like Luke. But
again, I loved him too much to simply leave. I did a terrible thing as this fifth year approached. I
had the notion that I could cure him and I went to a priest claiming there was a demon that had
taken over the man I loved. I gasped as the memories came to me. Why did you let me do it,
Luke? Why did you let me bring that terrible man into our home? My god, the things he did to
youthe things I let him do Lukes screams of four hundred years ago were echoing in my
mind. It was more than the fire that was used to torture his skin, more than the torture of the
priest who would certainly have brought a mob upon Luke had Luke let him live after watching
the wounds heal instantly before us. It was the fact that as all of this was happening I sat there at
Lukes head whispering endearments to him, weeping even as I begged the priest for more. Oh
Luke.how could you have ever come for me again after that? How can you still love me? I did
despicable things, things the worst vampire would likely cringe at. I acted like a beast and yet
you continue to hold me in your arms even now?
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The final act of betrayal came on the night I promised to let him take my mortal life. After
all that he had endured to love me, to keep me forever, he believed that this would change me.
He thought that by turning me he would erase the teachings of my childhood that stood between
us. Perhaps he would have been correct. But I never gave him the chance to see because right
before his horrified eyes I drove a dagger into my chest and ended my life and his dream all in
one move of madness. Juliet indeed
I awoke in a place that was far from Russia. I knew that though I did not know what
happened or how I had gotten there. What I feared the most happened back there. You got so
lost in the memories that I couldnt bring you out. I carried you out of that terrible house and I
took you from Moscow. When dawn came you fell asleep. Ive watched over you since.
I am so sorry. I cant even
I know, sweet girl. I know that you are sorry and I never wanted you to feel as you feel
now. I did not want you to remember Annalise.
Reaching out for him, I was glad when he came, laying his head upon my chest. He never
let me hold him in this way and I dont know what I would have done if he had refused me in
that moment. You did not become the monster the night I saw you feed. I did. I said softly, my
arms wrapped tightly around him as if I feared he might disappear.
Yes. I cant dispute that. But I endured it all for the love of the woman you were in those
brief years before you knew. You were so sweet, so good, and you loved me completely. You
were just as you appeared to me when you first came as Arianne. I would have endured anything
to have had you come back to me like that. When you killed yourselfyou hurt me more than
any fire on my flesh could have. You wounded me so deeply that it tooknever mind.
Charlotte was not our last life together. Annalise was. It was her betrayal that made you
cold. She was the woman whose ghost I had to fight to make you love me. She was the reason
we were apart for four centuries, wasnt she? I questioned, this revelation coming in stunning
clarity.
Yes. He replied simply.
But why did you lie?
Sometimes it happens that the mention of a life lived before brings back memories of that
life. I did not want to risk that with you. Charlotte was foolish but she had the best intentions for
me. She was never cruel, that girl. She was grateful for my love and she showed me only love in
return so if you remembered her there was no harm that could come from it. Annalises life
should have stayed buried where it belonged. You never needed to know any of this.
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Guiding his head up, I kissed him with everything I had. Words could not express how sorry
I was for the things I had done to him back then, how grateful I was that he ever looked for me
again after all of that. So I hoped that my kiss would show him what was in my heart. She did
love you. She just didnt know how to let herself show you. When you took her blood, that was
the only time she felt as if she was yours completely. That was the only time she felt as if it were
ok to surrender to you. She was the worst kind of fool and she never deserved you, Luke, but she
did love you. She always loved you. I wasnt trying to make excuses for Annalise. There was
none. I felt as if I were answering a question that had lingered with him through the years we
spent apart.
As if in confirmation of this he stripped himself of his clothing and drove himself into me
without warning. Although it felt good, it was the strangest experience that had ever passed
between us. He wasnt making love to me. Not in his mind. He was saying goodbye to the ghost
that lived inside of me, the one that nearly kept us from our forever even in this life. If I had been
human the way he thrust into me would have been unbearable but as a vampire I was beyond
such pain. I put everything I had into enjoying what I felt even as I kept my eyes closed to avoid
looking up and seeing Annalise reflected in Lukes stare.
When he was finished with his goodbye we went out to hunt and he explained that he was
able to get as far as Norway before he stopped for the day. The great mystery of where we were
was solved and I truly felt as if I had no questions left connected with the experience. As if he
heard this, he made it a point when were back in our bed at the inn to say, From this night on I
never want to confront the life of Annalise again. You learned what you thought you needed to
know and my true fear about all of this did not come to pass. Frankly I think it was more luck
than anything that it did not. We wont try that luck again. And as I said before, from tonight on,
at least for the time being, we are done tracking our past. I will not risk losing you to madness
over things that are nothing to us now.
Raising my head up, I asked, Was that your great fear? That I would go mad in Russia?
Looking down at me he replied, Do you honestly have to ask me that question?
We spent about a month traveling through Norway and although I can judge the time now,
as we were wandering it meant nothing. I wasnt keeping track of the nights or the months. I lost
count of how long it had been since he turned me. With the way we had traveled since that night
and with the places we went even the seasons could not be counted on to keep the time for me.
But that was nothing to me. I had all the time in the world. I was reluctant to say anything to
Luke because it really wasnt important but I did notice some lingering effects of getting so close
to Annalise. I was a bit harder after that. Not toward Luke. No. What I took away from that
experience was that I would never be unjustly cruel to him again. But I was a little harder toward
the world. He thought it was the traveling that brought it on. I hadnt had real human friends
since I left Paris and he believed that was taking its toll on me. But I knew better. Still, there
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seemed to be nothing else wrong with what we had then. It was the closest to perfection that I
had known in my life up until then and with the freedom of going anywhere and seeing anything
just as I had always dreamed alongside the ability to do it with the man I loved, I was blissfully
close to joy.
From Norway we went south to Scotland. I had been in Glasgow once when the theater
troupe was touring for a production of Hamlet but, just like all of the other cities I found myself
in in those days, I didnt get to see anything. When I told Luke about this he took me first to the
one city I knew and he did what he did best as we traveled. He showed me all of the best places
and he shared with me stories of times when he had been there himself. As we walked one night
we passed the theater that the troupe had played in and it was more bitter than sweet especially
when I saw that the current production was one that first premiered with us at the Comdie-
Franaise. Do you miss it? Luke asked softly. I hadnt realized that I had stopped but I
probably looked like a fool just standing in front of the place. So why couldnt I bring myself to
move? We could go inside if you like. I love the theater. I would enjoy an evening spent here.
Yes, you love the theater so much and you love me so much that not once could you take
the time in the past to come see these two things you hold dear when they were together. I
replied bitterly. But just as I was about to walk away someone called out to me stopping me dead
in my tracks.
Ophelia! When I turned around I fully expected to see Etienne standing there on this cold
night. The line between what was possible and what was not had been ripped to shreds for me
long ago. Imagine my disappointment, then, when I saw a young boy of about twenty standing
there with a huge grin on his face. Im not mistaken, am I? You are the French actress who
came here four years ago from the kings theater in Paris, the one who played Ophelia?
I probably would have taken off in that moment, so great was my hurt, if it wasnt for the
hopeful gleam in his eyes and his thoughts that came easily to me. He loved the theater and the
first time he had been able to round up enough money to go was when he came to see me on the
stage inside the very place we stood before now. He was working his way up the ranks now in
this place, starting out as a stagehand and working now as understudy to the second from the
lead. But he would make it up to lead actor in his troupe. He had that determination that meant
everything in the business. And I could not crush him by leaving without a word. Yes, I am. I
cant believe you recognized me! Did you see the show when I was here? I asked him in his
native English. I knew all the answers, of course. But being a mind reader wasnt something one
in my position advertised.
Aye, I did. It was my first time coming and youwellyou were magical on that stage!
Have you come to stay with us in Scotland? I know the man who runs this place and I know he
would give you a job in a moment if you are interested. He wanted me to say yes. He would
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have given anything to work with the Ophelia of his youthful dreams. Unfortunately that was one
thing he would never have.
No. I have retired from the stage. I got married a year ago and now were traveling like two
vagabonds in the sun. I replied with a grin. I wanted to get away from this place, this boy, as
soon as possible without doing any harm to his dreams so I added, I was just telling him about
the time my troupe came here for Hamlet and he wanted to see the place. I was bragging on all of
you, how great an audience you were. Every one of you made us feel so welcomed when we
came. You have a passion in your heart when you talk of the theater. If you are not on the stage
already you should be. Such passion usually comes from those with great talent. Do you work
here?
Aye, maam. Ive been here since the summer after your performance. I started as a
stagehand. Its been four years and Ive only made it to the position of understudy to the lead
actors understudy but
That is quite impressive! My teacher was a great actress herself once and she spent years as
a second before she made it to the top. But when she did break out as a lead actress she inspired
the world with her performances. You should be quite proud with how fast youve gone up the
ladder. Anyway, one day when you are a lead actor and your troupe travels through Europe you
will see that a city that makes you feel welcomed sticks with you. You will know what I mean.
The boy smiled brightly at me, at the idea that I would think he had what it took to one day
be the lead actor in a traveling troupe. But then he looked puzzled. This teacher you speak ofI
am confused. We were all told that your teacher was the legendary Etienne Baptiste. Is that
incorrect?
He had no idea the pain he inflicted on me for the second time since we met. I tried to mask
it with a smile but I knew that I had to leave all of this behind soon before my cursed tears
started to fall. Yes, he was my teacher as well. He taught me at the Comdie-Franaise part time
before I took the lead and full time after that. I was referring to my first teacher with my story,
Mademoiselle De Lorme. In Paris she had a reputation even greater than Etiennes though you
may not have heard of her because her antics were not as infamous outside the theater as his
were. This entire conversation was stabbing at me like a knife over and over again and I knew
that this chance encounter was going to follow me for a long time to come.
I have heard of her but not as a teacher. I heard stories of her career as an actress. I am sure
she is a great instructor and it must have been wonderful to work with her but I must admit, I
envy you for having the chance to work so closely with Monsieur Baptiste for so long. And in
the last years of his life as well. Was he truly as great as they said?
This boy knew far more about the legends of our craft than I ever did before I set foot on
Pierres stage. He reminded me of myself at sixteen with his thirst for it all and I had to hold
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back the urge to tell him what Etienne told me more than once, that one day the very thing we all
loved so much could be the thing that destroyed us just as it destroyed Etienne. Putting a hand to
my heart and gently rubbing that spot where my friend lived on, I smiled a genuine sorrowful
smile. He could take a person with no talent at all and make them into a great actor or actress if
he had wanted to. He never would have, of course. His pride was too large for such a thing. He
sought out only the best to receive his instruction because he was the best. He could take a
simple read through of lines and make you feel as if you were witnessing the best performance of
your life. I never got to see him play a part but I knew the first time I saw him read that he had
indeed been everything the people said he was and more on a stage. There was no one else like
him on or off the stage really. If he was here today and he met you, as soon as he saw that
passion, the determination in your eyes, he would take you under his wing. He would have liked
you, dear boy. I hate to rush off but your show is starting soon and if your teachers are anything
like mine were, you will have hell to pay if you miss rehearsals. Thank you for all of your kind
words tonight. Keep working at your craft and one day when you are the lead actor on a stage in
a place far away I will come to see you. I am sure when I do you will inspire me as I once
inspired you. Kissing his cheek gently I gave him my most mirthful grin. Break a leg.
When we had gone far enough from the theater I took off at a great run. I cant say why but
it felt like it was something I had to do, as if Etiennes ghost was chasing me once more but if I
moved fast enough I could finally get away from it for good. When that failed to lift my spirits, I
did what vampires do best in stressful situations. I hunted. The man I killed that night was
beautiful, so beautiful that I almost forgave him the murders of prostitutes he traveled all of
Europe to commit. But it was his beauty that set him apart from all the others when the girls
accidently crossed his path. It was his beauty that enabled him to hide the black void within.
Unlike the rest of the world, I would not overlook his evil nature because of that pretty face. I
enjoyed this kill just a little more than usual. He would have continued to get away with his
crimes if I hadnt come along to stop him and the same women he hunted would have protected
him every step of the way. As his hot bitter blood slid down my throat I made sure I savored
every drop and when his heart was just a beat or two away from stopping I threw him down on
the ground like garbage, the same way he had left over a hundred innocent women in his wake.
Are we going to talk about this? Luke asked as soon as we had returned to the tavern we
were calling home.
I was suddenly so sick of it all, the traveling. It had been a grand adventure, sure, but I
wanted a home. The travel itself wouldnt have been so bad if I knew that there was a place
somewhere in the world that was ours to go back to. Talk about what? There isnt anything to
talk about. I replied as I began to undress for the night.
Dont do that. Do not lie to me as if I couldnt see the reaction you had to that young mans
words on the street! I knew that you were sleeping with this teacher of yours but I had no idea
that you were in love with him. You lied to me! You said that you had never found love without
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me. Whats worse is that you didnt come back to me until your teacher was dead. So tell me,
little beauty, if he had not slit his wrists on his duvet would you have ever come back to me at
all? I slapped him across the face for speaking about Etiennes death in such a way, for calling
me a liar, and for implying that I only came home to him because I needed someone to take
Etiennes place. His words, all of them, hurt like hell. But nothing he said compared with the
look of pure betrayal in his eyes when I struck him over another man. Grabbing my wrist he
seethed, So thats the way of it? You loved him enough to show loyalty to him above me? Your
actions speak volumes above your petty lies, Arianne!
With that he let go of me and he actually walked toward the door leaving no doubt that he
intended to leave. Once I would have let him go but not now, not like this. Using my gift for
speed, I was blocking his way out before he made it there himself. Before I said a word I
unlocked my mind so he could look there if he wanted to see the truth in what I was about to say.
I could stand many things but having him believe that he was ever my second choice was not one
of them. You are wrong about everything. I was never in love with Etienne. I loved him, yes,
very much. I loved him as my dearest friend and I loved him as my teacher. But I was never in
love with him. I was honest with him before we ever touched. I told him my heart belonged to
another. I never told him your name. I told no one your name until I was delirious after the attack
and I shouted it in my restless fits. But he was dead by then, lying in an unmarked grave with the
others who broke the will of god by ending their own lives. I wasnt supposed to be in Paris the
night that I was raped. I was supposed to be on a stage in Venice. But I had to leave the same day
that I found his body and it was all too much. I did go but I made it only half way before
Mademoiselle brought me back. As I told you, he was my best friend. Seeing him like that with
his wrists slashed to pieces sitting in a pool of dried blood and human waste, it was impossible
for me to recover in time to make it to Venice.
Leading me away from the door, he took my hands in his. You were the one who found
him? I am so sorry. I didnt know. If I had I never would have spoken like that about his death.
Etienne and I spent days on end together and we were very close but we never had a
romantic relationship. If I was going to give him my body while you held my heart I was
determined to do all I could to make sure he did not get hurt. How, then, could I have accepted a
romantic relationship with him knowing all the while that if you came I would not hesitate to
leave with you, knowing that I was counting down the days until I could come back to you if you
didnt come for me? And while it is true that I came to you after he died, it wasnt his death that
made me return. I almost died for a third time since I met you. This time you werent there to
watch over me, to give me the blood if I needed it, to turn me if it came to that. I would have
simply died. I could not stomach the thought of dying without ever seeing you again. I couldnt
stand to think that you were almost robbed of the chance to turn me if that was what you wanted.
I accept your apology but it would be unwise of you to ever accuse me of feeling as if you were
my second choice. The next time I wont bother to explain, Luke, not after all we have endured
to get here. The next time I will simply leave until you realize you were wrong. Softly I added,
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And I didnt slap you in defense of him. I slapped you for me. How could you ever believe the
things you said to me? I thought we were putting the lives passed behind us. Arianne, the woman
I have been since you met me this time, never did a thing to deserve such accusations tossed so
carelessly my way.
The blood tears were standing in my eyes turning my whole world red and I was trying to
blink them away as he took me into his arms. I am sorry, my love. Truly I am. I made a mistake.
I see that now. If he was still reading my thoughts as I knew he had a few moments before, then
he knew that I wasnt sure if the tears I shed were because of hurt feelings for the present or for
the dear friend I lost so senselessly. I had always thought of the two men meeting even as I
shared Etiennes bed. I pictured them attempting to intimidate one another, attempting to one up
each other, and I knew that in the end Etienne would see that when he told me that Luke
certainly loved me more than he ever could he would be assured by the meeting that his
assessment was correct. I was in good hands with Luke. That would have been enough for
Etienne. Why dont you ever talk about him? You have never told me anything until now
beyond the vague words you gave me when you came home.
His question surprised me considering the fight that had so recently ended. What is there to
say? Once I knew a man whose brilliance was wound too close with his madness so that they
dragged him down into hell and refused to let him up? Because for all of the great things Etienne
did, that was the only thing that really mattered in the end. Its bad enough that I know not where
his body lies now and that once the humans we knew are dead he will be forgotten. Should I
really dwell on that last all important truth of his life? I cant think of him without thinking on it
so I choose not to think of him at all.
His best friend in life is now a vampire. How could you think that he will ever be
forgotten? One night when it is safe we will find this man who kept you safe when I could not,
this man who looked after you even though you loved another, the man who gave you your
greatest dream, and we will provide him with a proper burial and a stone befitting his greatness. I
owe him that much and more for all he did to make you happy during your days without me. I
swear it will be done.

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Chapter 5
The subject of Etienne was dropped after that and the following night we traveled on,
stopping for a night or two at the cities and villages we passed, until we reached the town of Ayr.
It was here, Luke told me, that the legend of Rapunzel and the priest took place. He showed me
the church, rebuilt just as he said, and the place that was once the square where the priest met his
end. But when it came to the place where Rapunzel lived then, the great house that Angelus
purchased for her before they went their separate ways, he would only point it out in the horizon
as we stood on the edge of the city. Although I wasnt terribly close to the creature, I had sensed
a vampire as soon as I arrived in the tiny town and when I mentioned this as the reason why he
wouldnt show me the place he avoided the question. However, when I awoke the next morning
just an hour after dusk to find him gone I knew where he was. The real question for me lay in
who he was meeting in that big old place by the waters edge.
I went outside on my own to hunt that night and I found that during the day a foot of snow
had fallen and more was coming down. This did nothing to brighten my mood. The streets were
dead around me, no doubt because of the snow, and the liveliest spot in town was the tavern and
the inn right next to it that I had just exited. Its the Little Drink to quench your thirst tonight it
seems. I whispered to myself as I went into the tavern next door. The place was full of people
signaling to me that it was probably Saturday, the real holy day of the hard working poor in
villages like mine the world over. Although the language I heard was not the same as it would
have been back home, this place was so familiar that it warmed my heart at once. These were
people like mine, in on their one night away from work to have a few pints and talk over the
harsh winter with their neighbors. I did not welcome the warmth or the familiar scents and
sounds that now surrounded me. I wanted out of there as soon as possible. So I moved like a
ghost through the place knowing no one would pay any mind if I brushed up against someone in
the crowd and in this way I took a little of what I needed from everyone I could get close to.
They never knew the difference and while I wasnt satisfied completely, I had enough to make
due.
Walking out into the silent night once more I felt angry at Luke for the secret he was
keeping, remembering the time he left for a month to come here, and wondering if the jealousy I
felt as he talked of the place had been justified after all. I knew if I went back to my room I
would brood and by the time he came in I would be in a proper rage so I went into the inn and I
ordered some broth to sip while I eyed my next targets for the little drink. But I couldnt
concentrate. So bad was my focus, so lost was I in thoughts, that when someone touched my
shoulder I actually jumped. Lukes laughter embarrassed me enough to have me remembering
what had so engulfed my thoughts but before I could spew my accusations he said, I have
someone I want you to meet but we will have to make the journey by air as she lives miles away
in the Highlands quite secluded from the world.
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Pushing aside my anger at once, I looked at him and smiled. I had already grown bored of
this little town and I feared that the snow I found when I awoke would keep us in the place until
spring. I suppose I had forgotten for a little while that I was now capable of anything and that
Lucania always was. Is she one of us? I asked in a whisper. Despite the noise in the inn, he
would hear me.
Yes but she is more than that.
I laughed at his words. More than a vampire? What? Is she a werewolf as well? I
questioned though this time I did so mind to mind. I could not risk that bit being overheard by
anyone else.
Sarcasm is not your strong suite, Arianne, no matter what youve come to believe. No. She
is a witch as well. She was made by the blood brother of Angelus, a vampire so vile that all
others, including our maker, have shunned him almost since his birth into darkness. He saved her
as she was being taken in a prison on wheels to the trial that would have led to her execution. He
saved her for one reason only of course. He had heard stories that she was one of the few real
witches that the church had found, that she had knowledge passed down to her that was unlike
anything else left on earth, and so he traded her his gift for her own. He pretended to love the
girl, instructing her in the best way to survive as a vampire as she taught him magic, and when he
had enough of what he wanted he abandoned her. Thats one version of the tale anyway and as
the second is horrid and she wont tell me which is the truth, its the one Im giving you.
Everywhere she went she was hunted. Eventually she could take no more. Alone, frightened,
tired of being abused, she went into the highlands of her birth and she made herself a home.
Shes remained there for two hundredno, perhaps its now closer to threenearly three
hundred years. I met her many years ago and whenever I come this way I visit her. I am one of
very few that she will see. I want you to meet her.
I couldnt believe what I was hearing. A vampire witch? Well, that was certainly a new one.
But with all Luke had told me of magic it did not seem completely impossible. I was intrigued by
the story, by the possibility, and after hearing her tale I did want to meet her. Very much. I dont
know if I had a clue when it came to my expectations of this meeting. I had no interest in
learning her magic. If that had been my intention I could have done so through Luke. I really had
no thoughts of becoming her friend either. At that time I was so thirsty for new experiences that
this seemed like another adventure and I clutched to it with both hands as I held onto Lucania in
the cold night sky. Where we went was indeed deep in the highlands. It was a huge hill of sorts
that seemed to be on top of the world. The house was a simple one and I imagined it would be
impossible for a mortal to reach it. Assuming one could make the incredible climb, one would
then have to go through miles and miles of dense forest just to be greeted by one single candle in
the front window of the house. As we stood before her walkway I asked the first question that
came to my mind. How the hell does she feed? Does she really have to travel such a distance
every single night?
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Suddenly the door was thrown open and there stood the most beautiful woman I had ever laid
eyes on. Her skin was the white marble of a vampire but her eyesmy god, her eyes. They were
a color of green that I had never seen eyes become before. They were literally emerald. And her
long, spiral dark red hair gave her the appearance of a princess in a fairy story. Whos there?
She called out only it was not modern English she spoke. Rather it was the medieval Scotch-
Gaelic that I could never grasp in my mortal life though my father once tried to teach it to me.
Dont be alarmed, Kila. It is I, Lucania, who has come to call. Luke responded, grabbing
my hand and pulling me forward.
Immediately she rushed toward him, throwing her arms around him as if she was thrilled to
see him. In fact, she held him so tight that I began to wonder what had been between them. Then,
as if to answer my unspoken question, she kissed him passionately on the mouth. To his credit he
barely responded. At last she saw me and when she did she jumped back as if she had been
touched by fire. Who the hell is that?
Putting his arm around me, he replied, This is Arianne. She iswell, I suppose you could
say that she is my wife.
At this the woman laughed. Even that was beautiful. Your wife? You are dead. The dead
cannot speak wedding vows unless the world has changed dramatically since I last went out to
feed. She is your mate?
You make us sound like animals, my friend. There was a smile on his face but there was
no mirth in his voice.
We are but one step up. Come in. Have you fed already? I hope so for I have nothing but
wine to offer you.
As we followed her inside her little cottage I couldnt help but feel jealous of her. Her
beauty was not the only thing that far surpassed my own. I assumed she had built this home with
her own hands of stones she found god knows where. I could never do that. She lived a life with
no man, no friends, no contact with the world at all. As a vampire this should have made her
mad. Holding on to ones humanity isnt always easy for vampires who are surrounded by
humans so I could only imagine how difficult it would be for a vampire who separated herself so
completely from them. Yet she was a kind hostess. Hearing her talk for no more than ten minutes
proved to me that she was clever and despite her initial distanced response to me she was soon
inviting me into her witty conversation with Luke. Then there was the magic
I think we need some wine to go with our conversation. Arianne, will you join me in the
kitchen, please? I was shocked that she asked me but I followed her into a pretty kitchen that
any mortal could have made great use of. I was admiring the beautiful fireplace when she
whispered, I am not so great and your thoughts to the contrary are distracting me. You have
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nothing to be envious of. Luke is clearly mad with love for you. Not only that, this is not the sort
of woman you are. You are not one to doubt yourself anymore and there is no reason to take up
that old habit on my account. It is not a charming quality in an immortal. With that she smiled
as she handed me two glasses and walked back toward the living room.
Her words shocked me into silence so for a while I simply sat there again as she and Luke
chatted about all that happened since the last time they saw one another. She was very interested
in hearing of our few nights spent with Angelus and Lucius declaring that Angelus had written
her months before to tell her about his insane plan to open a university in Rome with his maker.
Going through a stack of letters she had in a neat pile by her chair she found what she was
searching for and she handed it to Luke for his inspection. Pay close mind to the bit where he
declares his intention to teach history, namely the history of Ancient Rome. Hilarious, isnt it?
His students will surely be the most knowledgeable on that subject in all the world. While you
were with him did he happen to say why he wanted to do this pointless thing?
No. Luke replied thoughtfully as he read four pages of parchment in under a minuet. He
really didnt say much on the subject at all. Lucius was the one who couldnt tell me enough of
the idea. He seemed thrilled with it. I suspect it was his idea in the first place.
Ah, that explains it. Well, I hope the two of them succeed although I cant say what the
measure of success might be in this case. Taking the letter Luke handed her, she changed
subjects as she put it back in its place. I assume you came from Ayr. How are things fairing
down there?
Luke looked at her in genuine surprise. You sound as if it has been some time since you
went. Surely you know. You do go there to feed, dont you? You always did in the past though it
never made sense.
Not that it is any business of yours, because it isnt, but I go elsewhere to do my hunting.
By air I could go anywhere in Scotland and still be back by dawn and there are many villages
closer to me right here in the Highlands. You know that.
I looked from Luke to Kila feeling as if there was something in this exchange that was more
important than where she did her killing, something they were both avoiding. Finally Luke
sighed. I dont understand you. He has no idea you are up here. In fact, he knows nothing of the
things you have known all along. That is his excuse for not leaving his prison to come to you.
But after all of these years I still cannot find yours. You do all of your business nearly one
hundred miles from your home just to have a reason to go to his town and yet you leave each
time without seeing him.
Dont start with this again, Lucania. You ruin every great visit between us this way and Im
in no mood for it. Thats nothing to you and unless the time comes when I wish to share my
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reasons, it will remain that way. Softening her tone, she asked directly, How is he? I know you
saw him while you were there.
Hes the same as he was the last time. He is lonely, he is miserable, and he still refuses to
leave. The ghosts of those he loved are truly gone. Its been two centuries. Its clear to everyone
but him that they arent coming back. He has no one, Kila, but because that place is all he has
ever known he refuses to leave it. He lurks those damned passageways all hours of the day and
night because he hasnt been able to sleep in centuries and he keeps to the shadows lest some
nosey villager see him through the windows and come in with torches blazing once more. Thats
his existence. If ever there was a time for you to break whatever has held you back to go to him,
to save him
Kila put her hand up to stop Lukes train of thought and while her voice was steady as she
spoke her eyes had changed before me from emerald to a color like jade. In that moment I felt as
if I could have sat for years just looking at them. He is a vampire as old as me. He should save
himself. Why does he not call to Rapunzel? She was his friend once and if he hadnt seen the
mess she made of her entire life with Angel I have no doubt she would have been more than that.
I doubt that reckless fool is up to anything important. She could come to him. If Angel or Lucius
came he would only fight them based on principle but Rapunzel might persuade him to listen.
You could too. Regardless of what she may or may not be up to, Gavin is not hers to
persuade. She belongs to Angel. This is not her responsibility and if you feel that he should save
himself it makes no sense that you should then demand that Rapunzel come to save him.
Furthermore, much as I adore you, I am tired of having conversations like this with you. As you
pointed out, it ruins all of our visits with one another. From here on out, if you want to know
how he is fairing you will have to go see for yourself.
For a little while we all sat in silence with the dust of Lukes retort settling around us. Then
Kila practically whispered, Suit yourself. before she walked away. Where she went I didnt
know but when I got up to see to her, Luke motioned for me to sit.
It was only then that I realized my anger earlier that evening truly was unfounded. Gavin is
the vampire living in the big old house by the sea? He is who you snuck off tonight to visit? I
questioned.
Yes. How did you know there was a vampire in that house at all? He asked in return.
I felt him there when we arrived. I replied simply. Why didnt you take me with you when
you went to see him?
I thought the succession of questions would irritate him but instead he seemed to welcome
this distraction. Gavin would not have taken kindly to a stranger coming with me into his home.
Events of the past changed him. You heard me telling Kila about the way he lives. That wasnt
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always the case. Once he roamed the town freely without a bit of care for who saw him. Now he
is trapped inside his fear. It isnt worry for his physical safety but rather a scar from the past that
keeps him from being at ease. It is possible that he might have attacked you as soon as you came
through his door and I shudder to think at the mess that would have followed.
I didnt understand any of this. To me there was no logic in it. This vampire was terrified of
something that could not hurt him but he refused to leave the place that held the fear. Kila was
clearly strong and she seemed fearless yet she talked about Gavin as if he were her true love even
as she refused to go to him and help him in his time of need. The way Luke shrugged at my
thoughts told me he was every bit as perplexed by all of this as I was. So instead of pondering it
knowing I would get nowhere, I asked another question. Gavin was the one you came to see
when you left us for a month, wasnt he?
No. I came to speak with Kila over an important matter. The books I brought back were
books she had finished with. I told her a great deal about you while I was here and I told her
about your love for the library so she cleaned off her own shelves of the things she no longer
wanted.
You have a library as well? Kila had just returned from some spot in her home. I was
beginning to realize that there was more to this place than what met the eye. It looked so small
from the outside, so simple, but I was starting to think that this place held as many secrets as its
creator.
Yes and if you dont like what I have on my shelves you are sure to like whats kept in the
crates. They are yours after all. Speaking of which, are you ever going to get this woman a home
so I can get your bleedn boxes off my floor? She demanded as she took her seat once more.
Luke smiled his most charming smile. Come now, dont be sour with me. It goes against
your sweet nature.
She rolled her eyes blatantly at this comment but even as she did she could not hide her grin
nor the turquoise her eyes became. I realized then that her eyes reflected what she was feeling
and this was the color of amusement. Dont waste your charm on me. Save it for the girl. She
loves you enough to pretend to fall for it. I would love to have the two of you stay awhile if its
what you had in mind but if thats the case than you need to go below and make the spare room
ready for the visit. In the meantime, Ill take the little beauty outside for a heart to heart. With
any luck Ill be able to convince her to stay here with me where the company of woodland
creatures far outweighs your own.
He laughed at her even as he pulled her hair while he was walking away from us. I didnt
know what to make of their interaction. Of course I knew that Luke had a life before me but
watching him with Kila made me feel as if I was getting a glimpse into a part of him that I did
not know at all. I no longer felt jealousy over it, only deep curiosity. But before I could ask any
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of the questions that might have given me a better insight into the side of Lucania that Kila
knew, she was leading me outside into the cold and the snow. I know you must be confused
about many things where I am concerned. Many vampires are when they first meet me if they
know even a portion of my story. Only the older ones, ones like Angel and Luke, accept that it
isnt a bit odd for a witch to be a vampire as well. Since Luke intends to stay awhile I will get to
stories about me, those I wish to share with you, in the nights to come. Some of them are known
by all who know me while others are not known even to Luke. It is the strangest thing, Arianne.
As soon as I saw you tonight I felt a sort of kinship with you that is very different from the other
friendships I cherish. Perhaps it is true that you were meant to be one of us all along.
You know the stories about Luke and me too? I asked. For some reason this surprised me,
that such stories about us had spread beyond those who lived with Luke through his lifetimes of
searching and a vampire like Angel who kept such a careful eye on us all.
Of course I do, young one. Your story is legendary among our kind. To others Lucania
would not confirm the truth of it which added to the mystery but he did tell me once. The tales of
the two of you finding one another again and again even though you had changed physically and
you had no memories of the times before gave me something to hold on to during the darkest
nights of my existence. I held on to them dreaming of a love like that. It was one of the reasons
he and I became friends after I was freed.
After you were freed? Your maker did not simply leave you at all, did he? It is the other tale,
the one that Lucania would not mention, that is the truth of things between you and the one who
made you.
Lacing her arm through mine, she smiled bitterly. That is a story I will not tell until the
time comes when I must. No, he did not simply leave. I dont admit that to anyone so please keep
it to yourself. I will tell you that he was a wretched thing and that I know he is out there now
continuing his path of destruction that he has forged since the night he was born. He should have
never been a vampire, not when he was so terrible as a human being. I will also tell you that I
know the time will come when he does something, plans something, that will be so terrible that
all of those in our bloodline will have to join forces against it. I have seen it. Its been foretold.
When that comes to pass I will tell everything. Until thenjust keep all of this between us.
I did not keep secrets from Luke usually but I knew that I would keep this for her. Just as she
said earlier, there was some strange sisterhood between us from the moment we met. But if it had
been related to one of my infamous past lives I knew she would have known about it and, like
Angelus before her, she would have mentioned it. So there was no point in seeking answers to
this when it appeared that neither one of us had any. So Lukes story of devotion really is as
famous as all that? I asked instead.
Not Lukes alone. She replied. You are just as legendary as he is.
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I cringed. Because of the terrible Annalise?
No. I mean, that is one aspect of it. But you worked just as hard to find him and you did so
completely blind. He had many advantages that you did not. He remembered your lives together,
he knew what town or city to go to, and even if your face changed he only needed to see you to
know it was you.
I laughed. How can you say I worked hard? I did nothing.
We had come across a clearing of sorts which looked oddly out of place so high above the
world. A tree had fallen in the middle of it and it was there she led me. This place was absolutely
gorgeous in the moonlight, the snow covering everything around us. In all of those lives he
never came directly to you. He came to the place where you were. But it was you who found
him, it was your soul that led you toward him, and your soul that recognized him. You had
nothing to go on beyond that feeling of recognition yet you believed in it enough to stay. Do you
think that is nothing? There were lives where you gave up everything to be with him. How many
mortals would trust their instincts enough to do that? He may have always come for you but it
was you that always found him. So yes, you are legendary as well. And you should be. Most of
our infamous vampires are not known for something like true love, my girl. In fact, yours may be
the only story of its kind among us. I was known once for the sleeping curse I was under and the
cruelty of my maker. Lucius is known for raping his cousin and being cast from Olympus, for
being the first of our kind. Rapunzelwell, that damned fool is known for allowing herself to be
locked in a tower and for burning down a church full of priests. These sorts of stories are
normally the ones that are told again and again among us. Its rare indeed to be known for
something as beautiful as true love.
This was the second time she had talked of Rapunzel and both times she sounded as if she
hated her. Because I knew so little about this vampire but I had been intrigued by her story as
soon as Luke told me about it, I wanted to know what it was about Rapunzel that Kila found so
distasteful. I thought it was a possibility that she knew her and if that were the case I hoped she
would tell me more about her. Why do you speak of Rapunzel like that? Is she really that bad?
It sounds like you despise her.
Kila sighed. I wished I could see her eyes better so I could tell what sort of mood this
question put her in but alas, it seemed I would just have to wait. I dont despise her. I only
reserve that sort of energy for one creature and it isnt the legendary princess. All I know of her
is what Ive heard but part of what Ive heard included her breaking the heart of Angelus. I cant
forgive her for that even if he does and I am sure one night he will. If her mate had been anyone
else I probably would have sided with her, to be honest. She did not have an easy start in this
life. Her maker was foolish and his mistake when he made her could have cost her her life. It
could have also cost all of us because she was the proof people needed to believe that we exist. If
her royal husband and his mother had told her story to the world it would have been very
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different than some peasant in a small village doing the same. She was made out of revenge,
locked in a tower she could have escaped if her maker had told her anything about who she was,
and she was ripped from the life she cherished. She met Angelus at a terrible time. All she
wanted was her freedom and I am honestly surprised she made her life with him as long as she
did. But Angelus is the best soul among us. I know he was good to her. He is good to strangers.
Imagine how he would have treated the woman he loved. And she completely crushed him. Then
there is that fecking book!
But she didnt write it! I protested in Rapunzels defense. I had no idea why I was
defending her. Like with Kila, I had felt some sort of connection to Rapunzel from the moment I
heard her name.
No. She just told a Catholic Priest what she was and everything that entailed! The way I
understand it, it was never meant to be a book. She and the priest had some falling out over it.
And the man did give his life for writing it, for taking the side of a vampire and for talking so
highly of her. But none of that erases the fact that she gave vampire hunters everything they
needed to get us at our weakest moments by giving away our secrets. We all call her the princess.
Why? Because she was an aristocrat by birth, a queen by marriage, and she has the mind that no
one will ever do her harm because she is above such things. If I had to be in a bleedn room with
her for ten minutes
Kila, lets not leave out the third reason you cant stand her. She lived with Gavin. She
spent a century as close to him as you dream of being. They were never lovers. They were never
together in that way. Yet you stalked her the entire time she lived in Ayr like some jealous
mortal girl. The book ended up coming to nothing. You said yourself that you dont blame her
for leaving Angelus no matter how good he was to her. So lets tell the truth of why you dont
like the princess.
I turned around to see Luke standing with his arms crossed a little distance from us, a smirk
playing on his lips. I thought an argument would break out over this. I never dreamed that she
would move as fast as lightning to tackle him to the ground. She was cursing him in Scotch-
Gaelic and when he went to get up she let him stand only to trip him so he went face first in the
snow. Again she pinned him under her as she hissed out, You are such a limey bastard!
Flipping her so that he was now on top of her, he laughed. I am no limey. The princess is
though. Perhaps Gavin is into that sort of thing.
When she punched him in the jaw I laughed. I thought he deserved it for that. But when she
tried again to flip him, to gain the upper hand, her hair got in her way and he ended up trapping
her arms as well. You dont fight fair! If you had let me pull my hair up you would have had
your arse handed to you!
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And Rapunzel is the princess? Luke mocked her as he let her up. He didnt bother giving
her his hand to get off the ground. He knew better.
Aye, she is. And you are the bastard. Its lucky you are that I like the girl or you would be
sleeping in the ground at dawn! She declared once she was on her feet. But the small smile she
gave showed that she wasnt really angry.
Youll love me again by dusk and you know it. You only got angry because it the truth.
Speaking of dawnits not far off. I should probably take Arianne inside and show her the
strange set up you built this place in.
I thought she would come with us but she stayed behind mumbling a good night to us as she
sat on the fallen tree. I wondered how many hours she had spent by herself in that spot
contemplating life and all she would not let herself have. It looks as though the two of you got
on well. I am happy for that. She has friends among our kind but none of them, as far as I know,
are female. I wasnt sure if she would take to you. Luke declared as he led me to a door that
opened to a descending staircase. This house is actually three stories but two of the floors are
built under the ground. It is here that the bedchambers are housed and the last floor is devoted
entirely to the library. This is to protect Kila as well as any guests she might have and to make
sure that should any mortal find his or her way to this place they will never stumble upon her
books if they should wander around. The collection of lore that I have is very small. She has true
vampire accounts going back centuries in her collection. In addition to that she has something
even more important to her. She has the many books that make up her familys Book of Shadows
and she has her own. This is information that she cannot risk even our own kind finding. Ah,
here we are.
Sure enough, there was a bedchamber housed on the second floor of this house. Although
the walls were stone they were built into the ground and they were hidden in such a way that
only someone who was looking for them could ever find it. She designed it almost like a maze,
didnt she? I asked, pondering how it was possible that this room was round when the house
above was square.
You could say that. She has an incredible mind, one that has been sharpened over the span
of hundreds of years to see the possible no matter how impossible something may seem at first
glance. Weve all protected her since she came here because she could be hunted by her own
kind now far easier than she could by a human and we have no doubt that there will always be
some out there who would try to force out of her the things she knows. It isnt that she is the only
vampire who knows magic. You know thats not the case. She probably isnt the only vampire
witch either. But her family had spells that even my people never dreamed of. She has
knowledge that I have never known another to have. Even her maker could not get from her
everything he wanted. There are probably witches who are vampires that are centuries older than
she is who could not come close to the power she possess. In the world of immortals, that is a
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very dangerous reputation to have. I nodded at all of this as I sat on the strange round bed. I
believed him. I had no reason not to. Yet now that we were alone and I wasnt so close to her
alluring charm I did wonder if he had only been a protector to her all of these years. Shes like a
kid sister to me. Is that not obvious?
My eyes shot up. I dont know why I was surprised. Even I knew I was thinking loudly. I
have never seen a kid sister kiss her brother like she kissed you tonight. I replied simply.
Taking our rose out of his pocket, he laid it on a side table and I lamented the fact that we
left the case at the inn in Ayr. All night you have been full of accusation toward me. What has
gotten into you? He asked as he sat beside of me.
I didnt know that you could be the way you were with her tonight. Only once did I see
you that playful before. With me you seem tense all of the time. With her everything seems so
easy. I watched you with another woman tonight and I found myself thinking that I was seeing
you, really meeting you, for the first time. I like Kila and I like it here. But I dont like the way I
felt tonight, Lucania. I dont like thinking that you are not yourself with me. Perhaps all those
years of searching took a toll on you. Maybe there is bitterness you have not let go of
You will not blame me for your jealousy. This is the first time you have ever seen me with
a strange woman, a female vampire, and you are jealous of the friendship you saw. Its natural
enough I suppose. I felt a bit of it myself each time Angel looked at you in Rome. It will pass.
But you will not take something as beautiful as our history together and try to turn it ugly like
youve just done! I would leave you before I let you do that. He declared, jumping out of bed.
I realized then that this had nothing to do with Kila or where I thought he was when I awoke
that evening. This went much deeper than that. Can you really tell me that it was never a burden
to you? Can you honestly say that there were no times when you would have rather been out
living as a vampire is meant to instead of keeping your promise to me made on that beach in
Crete? A vampire keeps his promises. Youve told me that yourself. So how many times did you
come for me because you wanted to and how many times did you do it because you felt it was
your duty?
He seemed completely shocked by the accusation and for a long while he said nothing. But
his forest green eyes were blazing with emotion, rage most likely. I hadnt seen him look at me
like that since the night I threatened to kill myself if he would not turn me. Is that what you
believe? That you were my burden? If you truly think that than you did not deserve what both of
us went through to get here and you dont deserve what we have now! Perhaps the reason you
were given so little love in your mortal life was because you would have treated it like this if you
had it!
When he stormed out I didnt bother to follow him. Like so many of our fights in the past I
wasnt sure how things had gotten so far out of hand. Because I was still young it was all but
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impossible for me to fight the spell that dawn weaves upon our kind and I fell asleep alone when
I couldnt avoid it anymore. At one point Luke woke me up. He was whispering to me until I
opened my eyes and I smiled when he kissed me. I am sorry for the terrible things I said, little
one. You were never a burden to me. I did not find you to honor a promise. I found you because
there is nothing worth living in an existence without you. I needed you to know that before I
went away.
Because I was mostly in the realm of dreams, I did not get alarmed by this. I asked only,
Where are you going?
I am going to find you the home you deserve. Kila will be good to you while Im gone.
Once you see the library she keeps you will forget to miss me. I wont be gone a moment longer
than I need to be. Is there any place in particular that you want me to look?
Close by. I replied. I couldnt fight sleep anymore. How was he leaving when it felt as if
the sun was still up? Lets notgo far...from Kila.

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Chapter 6
When I awoke I was alone. The flower was glowing as usual from the side stand but aside
from that, the room was pitch black. At first I forgot all about speaking with Luke and as I
navigated my way out of the room and down the hall I followed my senses to Kila. She was in
the library on the last floor but at first I didnt notice her for the massive collection of books that
surrounded me. She did have a larger room with more shelves than Luke had back in France.
Whats more, she had books stacked up on books. There were not hundreds here but rather
thousands. It was her mirthful laugh that called my attention back to her. Look at you! Ive
never seen someone look as though they love these dusty treasures the way that I do until this
moment. Come. Have a drink before we explore them.
When I took the glass she held out to me I thought it was wine but one drink told me
differently. Where did this come from? I asked, hoping she had more.
From him. She replied, pointing to a man slouched over in a chair in the corner. I made
Luke go find him for us before he left. He cursed me all the way up the mountain with that brute
on his back, you can be sure of it! Drink up. Thats pure Highland blood, highest quality, that is,
taken from the village I grew up in! Sorry its cold. I could have kept it over the fire but any
blood, even high quality blood like this, makes a stink when it starts to boil.
I laughed at her words and at the fact that she had put the blood in a crystal pitcher and was
pouring more of it into my glass even as I sat. Then her words sunk in and my laughter stopped.
Before Luke left, you said? Where the hell did he go?
Worry not, dear. He said he told you all about ithes gone to find you a place to live is
all. Because he is a man and they tend to look only at the most practical side of finding a house, I
slipped a spell into his coat pocket that should help him find the right place for you.
Drinking the last of the blood I thought I might as well ask what was on my mind. Did you
hear the fight last night?
Aye, I did.
I hope you werent offended. It really had nothing to do with you. I assured her honestly.
I know. I think I knew what it was all about before you figured it out yourself. While we
are on the subject of your fight, I am supposed to give you this.
What she handed me was a huge bound book with a leather cover. In gold letters that looked
burned into the leather were the words La Belle et la Bte. The Beauty and the Beast? What is
this? I asked without even opening it. Something about it made me nervous, almost startled.
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For some time I have collected the special stories of our kind. Lucius has his large family
tree but I have something more in depth. Those who stood out in our history, those who made a
mark, I made stories of them. When I met Luke I told him I wanted to make a book of your story
but he insisted the he make it and that he would add to it each time there was a new chapter. He
said when it was finished, when he had turned you and the two of you had each other forever, he
would give it a name. Last night he finished it and as you can see, it has a proper title. He asked
that I give it to you when you woke up and that I tell you it is your choice whether I am to keep it
or whether you will.
Of course you can keep it. I replied softly. I was stunned by all of this. Was this what he
meant about the vampire stories she protected?
Well? Arent you going to look at it? He did the engravings himself as well.
It was the title that gave me pause. Who is the beauty and who is the beast in this tale of
ours? I asked as I opened the cover. It began with the story of Calliope and because I did not
want to venture into the past, even if it meant learning things I had not yet discovered, I paid
attention only to the gorgeous illustrations as I flipped through the tales. It was the ending I
wanted and as I read it with a vampires speed, as I looked over the pictures of my mortal death,
I couldnt help but feel a tug at my heart. He did a beautiful job. I declared, handing the book
to her.
Please dont think me rude butis that really all you have to say for this? Hes worked at
it for centuries and you didnt even look at the beautiful way he ended it. Are you still angry with
him about last night? Are you not comfortable with the book itself? What has you treating this
labor of love so coldly? She questioned, holding the book almost like a shield in front of her.
Because it had always been my habit to do so, I stood up and I began to pace as I tried to put
into words the two reasons why I wanted no part of the thing just yet. For now I feel as if I have
learned enough about the women Ive been in the past. It would be a little tempting to hold a
book that contained everything without looking at the stories I am currently oblivious to. I sat
down again just as suddenly as I had risen. Just read the title, Kila. He and I are the same now
and yethe still thinks he is a monster. I dont want that! But knowing what I know of our past I
am sure that I am partially to blame for it. How can I ever take that back? How can I convince
him that he is so much more than a beast?
I dont think its that at all. I think hes telling it from the perspective of others, what they
would have thought if they had known what he was doing all those years. She replied but there
was something in her tone that made her words sound phony.
I assume youve read it? She nodded. And how did he portray himself in the stories? Did
he portray himself in the words, in the pictures, as a monster? You cant lie to me! I saw them! In
every illustration his fangs are showing, for Christs sake!
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She shook her head and I thought she was going to try to lie about what was right in front of
us. Instead she gave me a harsh lesson about life as a vampire. Or life as an outsider at all. Do
you honestly think that it was your one lifetime of cruelty that made him cast himself as a beast,
little beauty? Youve only just started in this life and youve had Luke there to guide you and
protect you each step of the way. If ever there comes a point when one should change a mortal, it
should always be as it has been between the two of you. He would give his life to protect you
from the world. But for many of us, Lucania included, there was no one to shelter us from the
harsh reality of human hatred. I know it better than most because I have been a witch longer than
Ive been a vampire. Even as a mortal I was feared, despised, cast out because of who I am. I
nearly died for it. From the moment I left the Highland world my ma and da created for me,
hiding in the shadows has been my lot. We could go through an entire village before they knew
what hit them. We dont have need to fear what they can do to our bodies. Not really. Its what
they do to our souls that leave a scar. And the only alternative to taking on the role of a beast
even in your own mind is to completely distance yourself from the warmth of humans, to see
them only as a thing to devour so we might survive. That leads to madness. We all know it. Even
those who are not told know it somewhere inside of them. Twas this world that made him feel
like a beast. Not you. So let go of your fecking guilt before it breaks apart what you cherish
most!
It was easier to believe it was my fault and all mine alone. Thinking of Luke hiding in the
shadows, thinking of him lonely or keeping track of the years spent in one place so he could
outrun suspicion, that was a greater weight upon my soul than guilt. Has he ever talked to you
about any of it? He tells me nothing like that. I assume hes trying to protect me but what if hes
keeping silent because he fears something might change between us if he told me of his dark
times?
At this she smiled a kind smile. Dear girl, he has certainly brought together two vampires
who are perfect for one another in us. It is so nice to meet another who thinks far too much. I am
going to get rid of that body before he starts stinking up the books. If you wish to look at the
other stories Ive collected like yours, I will show you where I keep them. If its something else
you desire Ill point out the way.
I was very interested in the other stories of our kind that she had collected in this way and as
she carried the dead man out I sat on the floor with the stack she had taken down for me, picking
up the first one. White as Snow was spelled out in red letters burned into the leather cover. This
one told the story of a female vampire who was much adored by the humans in a kingdom that
was once her fathers. Because she could not rule it properly, she entrusted it into the hands of
her dearest friend, a witch she had grown up with. In addition to helping her run the kingdom,
her best friend was also a marker of her true age as far as the people knew. This was supposed to
protect her from overstaying her welcome. The two lived peacefully enough, the kingdom ran
smooth enough, until the beautiful vampire (nicknamed Snow White by her people as tribute to
her flawless white skin) met a traveling prince and she fell in love. After consulting for some
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time with her friend, she decided to turn him when he returned a year after they met asking for
her hand. Her own maker had killed her beloved father and turned Snow White only because he
found he did not have the heart to kill her after he drained her nearly to the point of death. Like
Rapunzels maker, Snow Whites creator left her an orphan. She assumed, then, that the prince
would still love her, that he would be happy to live his nights by her side learning the things she
had fought hard to discover. But things did not go as planned.
When the prince discovered what she had done to him, he said terrible things to her, cursing
her, calling her every sort of beast and monster, and then he left vowing never to return. She
feared he was going to tell others what she was and what she had forced upon him. In addition to
this, she was absolutely heartbroken at losing her true love. After a great deal of convincing, she
managed to talk her dearest friend in the world into helping her bring about her own death. She
wanted to simply commit herself to the sun but her friend could not stomach the thought of that.
She would not agree to any death for Snow that would have her dying in agony. So she worked
on a potion that would put Snow White into a sleep so deep even a vampire could not wake from
it to fight off the threat of the sun. She then commissioned the construction of a glass coffin.
With the plan in place, Snow attempted to drink the potion but her body rejected it. This shocked
the witch but Snows determination left her with no other choice but to find another way. She
tried it in wine, on different cloths that Snow could suck on, but the potion dissolved anything it
touched. Anything, that is, except for an apple. At last the solution had been found. After a
tearful night of goodbyes, the friends prepared themselves for the end. Snow White ate from the
apple and instantly she was asleep. But her dear friend could not keep her promise. She put Snow
in the glass coffin but she could not tolerate the idea of setting the coffin in the sun.
Less than a year passed before the Prince returned only to be told of the sleeping potion that
kept Snows body trapped between life and death, a potion her friend had been unable to reverse
since that first night. He stayed a decade in the castle by Snows side and when there had been no
change and the people were demanding answers, when there was talk of the people storming the
castle to see what was going on behind its high gates, the prince carried the coffin of glass out to
the courtyard and he whispered apologies and endearments to his love, his maker, as the sun
came up to claim them both. The witch watched it all from a window in the highest room of the
tallest tower in the castle and she swore that the Princes lips remained on Snows even as the
sun took them from the earth forever.
When Kila returned I was near to tears. Did this truly happen like this? How can vampires
hold up the story of Luke and me as the great love story of our kind if this is true? I questioned,
for surely the story of the girl nicknamed for her vampire skin was far more like Romeo and
Juliet than anything Luke and I had done.
There are a few reasons for this. First, there are many vampires who have committed
themselves to the sun for a great many reasons and love is among the most common. Surprising,
I know. But Ive seen that book that Lucius has spent many lifetimes perfecting and I swear its
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true. Second, there are almost no vampires left on this earth who know the story of the princess
with skin as white as snow. Although Angelus has long carried the title, she was actually the
second vampire, the first to be made on this earth. Lucius was on a blood thirsting rampage of
the worst kind somewhere in Eastern Europe when he came across the girl and her father. The
kingdom was small and isolated so his plan was to kill the king and his daughter and claim the
place as his own. But, as you read, he found he could not kill the girl. This storys real
significance lies not in the tragic love story that it is but in what happened the night Lucius made
her. It was on this night, in that moment just before her heart stopped, that her makers humanity
was restored to him. He left her, yes, because he was terrified of what he had done. But he did
return for her many years later when her dear friend, now an old woman who had ruled the
kingdom she did not want in the first place for forty years, told him what had happened to his
first fledgling. When I decided to do this thing I went to him first because he is the oldest
vampire and I knew already that he kept track of everything he could find. So far this is the only
story he has ever shared with me. He said it was the one he carried that he wanted most to
survive.
Why do you collect them? I mean, what was your plan for them when you started? I
asked.
My plan at the time was to find something that would keep me busy until the loneliness and
the bitterness subsided. But I suppose I have continued to keep them for times like these when I
might meet a vampire thirsting for knowledge who might learn more about who we are as a
species from reading them. I also believe that the time may come when I can get them out into
the world as works of fiction to summon all of us together or to simply alert those who will
recognize themselves or a vampire they know in one of the tales to the truth that they are not
alone. We are so good at hiding ourselves away that often even our own kind cant find us. It
shouldnt be that way. It doesnt have to be.
I had to admit that I thought her reasons were a bit farfetched but I spent the rest of that night
reading what she had. In the nights that followed she and I poured over her volumes of lore from
all over the world. We discussed the original vampires that walked the earth, the soulless,
mindless, blood thirsty corpses of the past, and she shared with me some of her beliefs behind
how they came to be while sharing with me a story about Hades that Lucius had passed to her
concerning their origins. I learned so much about who we are but I also learned the many ways
that we were thought to be throughout time. However, in a week we both tired of the subject of
vampires. As we hunted one evening she asked me for the first time about the rose. By the time
we returned to her home she decided she had to see this thing, to feel it in her hands, to see what
it might be.
We were like two modern teenagers investigating their first bottle of liquor as we sat on the
library floor with the flower between us. Tell me again how it was made. She requested for the
tenth time since the subject was first broached. Again, I told her the story. And have you ever
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tried to take a petal off? I told her I had but I said no more which led to her crying out in
irritation, Bleedn Christ, girl, what happened when you did?
It bled. It bled real blood. And then the petal regenerated and the bleeding stopped. I
replied.
How do you know its real blood? Did you taste it? She questioned. At that moment the
thought struck me that this was one creature my dear father would have enjoyed completely.
No, I didnt taste it. It looks like blood, it smells like blood, what else might it be?
She wasnt satisfied with this at all. Do you mind if I pluck a petal and see for myself what
happens if I put a drop on my tongue? She questioned.
I was astonished that she would even consider it. What if it does you harm? We dont know
anything about it. What if it acts like poison on you or something?
She smiled mirthfully. In the week that I had been with her I had never seen her so excited
about something. If that be the case, please try to feed me some of your blood before it kills me.
Ive lived a bit too long to be destroyed by a plant, magical or not. I nodded that I would and I
filed this away in case I ever needed it, the knowledge that our blood could heal other vampires
as well as humans. If I had breath I would have held it as I watched her pluck a petal from the
flower and quickly put her tongue to the spot where the blood was flowing. I hadnt paid
attention the last time I saw this happen so I never knew what became of the fallen petal then.
Imagine my shock when I watched the thing fall to the floor and disintegrate instantly leaving
not one trace of its existence behind. Quickly I looked up to make sure Kila was alright and it
appeared she was though she had an odd expression on her face. That is the strangest thing. It
tasted like blood to be sure but as soon as it hit my tongue it was gone. The feel of it was gone,
the taste was gone, it was simplygone.
A new petal had already come up to replace the fallen one. So is the petal that fell. Did you
see it? As soon as it hit the floor it justdisappeared. What does that mean?
Part of what this tells me is that your rose truly is vampiric. Have you ever tried to cut your
hair or your nails since you were turned? No? Well, I have and not only does it regenerate
immediately, what falls is gone within moments. It disappears just like that petal. I dont know
why. It seems no one does. The bit about the blood confuses me though. Perhaps if vampires
were able to produce their own blood ours would be like that. This flower can do what we
cannot. It has blood that does not have to be replenished constantly with blood from mortals. So
what flows in it ispureuntainted vampire blood. The only such blood on earth. If it did not
dissolve that thing would be the key to so much. It would be a constant food supply and the most
powerful healer of vampires and humans on earth so it is probably best that the blood is not
useful. However, this flower is important for another reason. The blood may dissolve on contact
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but the magic in the blood, in the flower itself, lingers. I can still feel it, as if I were a mortal who
had consumed too much ale. I am drunk from it! This thing you have is the most powerful magic
I have ever seen and I have seen magic of all sorts, I assure you. I watched as she put her left
hand above the flower, closed her eyes, and within moments she looked as if she were truly
glowing. It lasted but a second, this vision, but when she opened her eyes they were tricolored
and she looked half mad. My Goddess.what a thing you have, Arianne! She declared before
she broke into hysterical laughter.
Her appearance wasnt the only thing that seemed mad. For a few hours she danced around
the library telling me things I did not understand. She kept saying that the trick to magic is to
think a thing and bring it into form. She would then demonstrate this by literally pulling things
out of thin air. She told me that doing something like that took years to master but I could do it if
I wanted because I had forever to learn. She told me about spells, how they were nothing more
than matching the right ingredients toward a purpose to harness energy for your goal. She
assured me that one day men of science would prove the basis of magic by discovering energy
particles with no purpose, particles that can be given a purpose, which is all a witch does to
create a spell and produce change. She told me that all the world was made up of energy and
magic was in perfect alignment with it all. I believed her. How could I not as it made sense with
what I knew of science and what I was watching her do before my eyes? But I was terrified for
her because I had no idea what was wrong with her. Finally she collapsed. I rushed to her and
was relieved to see that she was smiling. What the hell was that? I questioned.
That was the high of pure magic, little beauty. Energy, magic energy, can get you as
intoxicated as any concoction the mortal world has come up with through the ages. I should have
known not to take in the energy of that flower. Whats worse, I wasted it. Some night if
something large must be done, I might call upon you to bring me the flower if you dont mind.
Its energy is eternal and limitless, I swear. It hurts it not to take some from it. I agreed of course.
But I never expected her to ask me if I wanted to learn magic for myself. What surprised me
even more was how much I wanted to learn even though the thought hadnt crossed my mind
until that night.
The following evening she took me into a beautiful mysterious room that was hidden by a
bookshelf in the library. We have to start with the most basic things of course. Vampire you
may be but that doesnt change the order in which you must learn and the rules you must heed.
However, because of your nature you will learn much faster than I did as a mortal. What might
take a mortal years to master you will absorb in a night, two at the most. She explained as she
used a sweep of her arm through the round room to light hundreds of candles that sat around in
fixtures on the wall. She showed me her altar, a place where her magic was done but also a place
where she worshipped her old Gods. For Angelus it is the Gods of Rome, for Lucius and Luke it
is the Gods of ancient Greece, and for me the Gods that guide are the same Gods who have been
in these hills for thousands of years, the Celtic Gods. Though the suns turn through the wheel of
the year means very little to me now, I still honor it. The same festivals my mother taught me to
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celebrate though it was outlawed even then, I celebrate today. In all my years of darkness my
Gods have never forsaken me. I am not human nor am I divine but they do not shun me or
begrudge me what I am. I am Their daughter just as I have always been.
You truly believe in them still? I questioned. I knew about Lucius but he was the only
vampire I had heard of who believed in any god and if his story was true I could understand why.
Of course. I have seen them, spoken with them, just as I am speaking to you now. The
struggles in the name of religion is all for naught because each God exists and each path is right.
Ancient vampires, old ones, they tend to hang on to their Gods whether they say so or not but the
ones who were Christian in life seem to let go of their old beliefs. I blame the difference in
teachings for that. I personally would have never made it through the years without my beliefs
and my magic and I pity those who have lost their faith to the vampire blood. But Im not here to
convert you, dearie, only to teach the magic.
And she did. The first lessons were tedious, learning to cast a circle, to raise energy, to call
on forces of protection and energy, things like that. But she was a wonderful, patient teacher. In
no time at all she was teaching me the properties of herbs and stones and how to use them to cast
a spell. Just as she said, I moved through years of learning in nights and soon we were doing
experiments with the flower only to realize that anything the blood was dropped on could be
enhanced by it. Rope became stronger, candles brighter, colors deeper, etc. When I asked her
why she thought the flower was so powerful, she beamed a beautiful smile at me and then she
gave me the same answer Luke had on the beach in Crete. Because the magic in that rose is true
love and love is the most powerful magic of all.
With nothing left to delve into and those words hanging between us I felt a deep longing for
Luke well up inside of me. I missed him terribly. I wanted to talk about him but if I did I would
only miss him more. So as we sat around on the first floor lost in our thoughts I brought up a
subject I thought she would reject instantly. I know you dont talk about it but weve gotten so
close since Luke left and youve shared so much with me that I thought you might tell me the
story between you and Gavin. Is he your true love?
I didnt expect her to answer no matter how I buttered her up first but as she looked past me
at the window where the snow was falling, she said softly, He is though he doesnt know I exist
anymore.
Well, why dont you go to him, Kila? It sounds as though he needs you now.
Her smile was cold and bitter as she looked me in the eyes. Because I love him and Ill not
put him in that sort of danger. He doesnt need me. He doesnt need me bringing the wrath of the
mad bastard who made me down upon his head at his weakest point. Gavin McPhee needs a
great many things right now to be sure but a slow and painful death isnt one of them. My maker
is stronger, crueler, equipped with magic knowledge Gavin never had. Its easy to see who would
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win in a fight between them. One night things will change and well have our happy ending as
well. In the meantime, this is as close as I can get to him. And talking about it doesnt help,
friend.
Because I understood the pain of loving someone you could not be with, I dropped that in
favor of her family history and in the next few nights while we waited on Luke to return (because
by then that was exactly what I was doing) she told me how the witch in Snow Whites story was
her ancestor, how Lucius watched over the descendants of this woman even when they left their
home for Scotland, and how this connection eventually led to her doom as Lucius said too much
about what the family of witches could do to the wrong vampire. In all that talk, she never spoke
her makers name and I had the feeling she never would unless she had no choice. She never told
me more about him or what he was after in particular but she did tell me a bit about Gavin, how
his father and her own had been great friends and how she and he had been betrothed once. She
did not tell me what happened, why they didnt marry, only that life was soon destroyed for them
both.
She also told me something I had never heard about our kind, how the old ones even a
couple of centuries before held great celebrations on the Winter Solstice. When I asked why, she
laughed at me and declared that it was to honor the longest night of the year, the night when
vampires could walk the earth for the longest period of time. In life some of these vampires had
honored this night because the days would start growing longer afterward, the sun would return,
but as vampires they saw things differently. They honored the night as they had once rejoiced in
the day. I found this fascinating, the thought of vampires gathering together for a celebration like
that, and secretly I hoped that one year they might decide to revive the custom. It seemed so
sacred, so human, that I almost couldnt picture it.
Oh, it happened, I assure you. Youve even participated in such a celebration once or twice.
It was I was in Lukes arms before he could finish his sentence. Angels idea. He
practically whispered, pulling me away from him so he could look at me. Well, you didnt
starve to death. I was worried about that. I have a few choices to go over with you concerning
houses but I assure you that none of them require a one hundred mile journey to feed. His smile
was off. That combined with the way he simply walked away told me something was wrong.
Sitting in the chair across from me he asked Kila for parchment and something to draw
with. We sat in silence as she went to her bedchamber to fetch the things he asked for and he
didnt look at me once. A mixture of hurt and anger made me less than enthusiastic as an
audience when he began sketching out the three possibilities he had settled on. One was in
Scotland and two more were in Ireland. Of course. I remembered then what I had said to him
about staying close to my new friend. The place in Scotland was nestled in the Highlands about
fifty miles from where we sat. One of the homes in Ireland sat in the middle of a village,
something I found less than ideal, while another was just outside of Galway. I voiced my opinion
as he had requested, that the one in Scotland would be the best option because of its location,
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only to hear multiple objections fired at me. I hadnt seen him in a month and while I had
enjoyed my time with Kila very much, I missed him. To have him come back to me acting like a
bastard wasnt what I had hoped for so I gave him a piece of my mind, told him where to shove
his plans, and I went out alone to walk around.
I was thinking that spring would soon be falling upon the village closest to Kilas home and
I was wondering how long it would take it to touch this place when I felt Luke standing behind
me. Go away. I commanded without turning around. I was comfortable sitting on the fallen
tree limb that served as Kilas thinking spot. I saw no need to move on his account.
Im sorry. I should have beenwarmer when I returned. But we have a problem, Arianne.
And if you will follow me back to the house
I dont want to hear it. Well live where you want. Well do things your way. We always
do in the end anyway. So you sort out whatever problem you have and treat me like your chess
piece when you have it figured out. Just move me where you want me. That is your way, after
all. I barked out.
Instead of going away like I wanted him to, he sat down next to me. I moved as far over as I
could go and he only moved closer. I was ready to get up when he said softly, I went to France.
I was many miles from your village looking at this pretty chateau when I heard a mother telling
her little girl a fascinating story in the inn I was staying at. It was a story about a beast who lived
in a big house close to Paris, a beast who fell in love with a beautiful girl. The girl was famous
once, the mother said, but she missed her beast so she came home to him and they had a few
days of love before the villagers came to take the beast down. Apparently the story ended with
the villagers killing the girl and the kiss of her true love bringing her back to life. But it gets
better. The people in France believe that the beauty and her beast are still out in the world
somewhere waiting for the chance to exact their revenge on the foolish people who tried to kill
the girl. Sound familiar, this story?
Youre joking! I replied, looking at him for the first time since he found me.
I wish I were. This is a problem, little beauty, a big problem. Do you have any idea how
fast little stories like these tend to spread? Fifty years. That was how long it took before I heard
Rapunzels story in Germany. And people travel much more today than they did six hundred
years ago. Fortunately, Rapunzel spent centuries in a tower so there were no sightings of the
famous imprisoned princess to confirm the little stories about her. We dont have the ability to
drop off the earth for two hundred years. How long do you think it will take before this little
story has spread all throughout Europe?
But it isnt like they will know that the story is about us. I think you are overreacting about
this whole situation. I replied.
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They wouldnt have known but for the fact that you were the darling of France on the stage.
I talked to the mother, commenting on her unusual bedtime story. Your name is attached to it.
Even worse, the people in France believe its true. She was telling her little girl the story to keep
her away from the woods because the people fear we are coming back to destroy any village in
France that we can come into to. Some of the biggest cities on this continent know your face.
Like I said, this is a big problem.
I took a moment to let this sink in. I never dreamed that my career could be our undoing.
Would he have sent me to Paris, I wondered, if he had thought that I would return as I did? I
suddenly doubted it for the first time. So what is your plan? I do not want to leave Europe. I
never wanted to return to France. Not yet. But I dont want to travel to a different part of the
world. Perhaps it was the traveling I did with the troupe but I feel as if all of Europe is my home.
And I am not ready to leave it behind, Lucania.
For the first time he took my hand in his. I thought if we moved to the village in Ireland
the fact that we were living with people around us would protect us from suspicion if the story
made its way there. You never played a show in Ireland and that helps. And if the time comes
when it is too dangerous we will have to leave Europe. But I assure you, its a last resort.
You know that if we move to the village we cant stay more than a decade. Thats not a
home, Luke. I agree with your logic but that is not a home. I whispered. Finding a place where
we could stay, a place to pretend like we belonged, was as important to me as the house itself.
There is one option that might serve all of our needs but it isnt close to Kila. I found a
home, a big, beautiful place, in the Bohemian Forest. Have you ever heard of it? I nodded
because I had, once when I was in Prague. It is in Bohemia, of course, and there are cities close
to it but the house is far enough into the woods that we would be safe as long as we made
ourselves scare around the cities. It needs work, that place, but I could hire men to do it while we
remained here. You liked it here, didnt you?
I loved it here. Its the first time since we left her behind that I felt as if I had a friend I could
talk to as I used to with Cherise.
Standing up, he offered me his hand and I accepted it. I will write a letter to the man I talked
to about the place, then, and set up its reconstruction. In the meantime, well make sure we arent
imposing on our friend and if she doesnt mind well stay until the house is ready for us.
He spent the rest of the night making plans, digging out money he had stashed among the
books, while Kila and I entertained ourselves as we had for the past month. Before dawn he
finally declared that everything was done and then he asked Kila a question that was unexpected.
By the way, what the hell did you stuff into my pocket before I left? I hope it wasnt important.
It fell out and I lost it.
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You could have saved yourself some trouble if you had bothered to find it and read the
bleedn thing! Where did it fall, Lucania? She questioned in exasperation. It was her house
hunting spell of course. I suppose she never thought that he wouldnt bother to look at it.
Come to think of itI lost it in the house. The one we decided on, I mean. Isnt that
funny?
Seeing my final approval as the deciding factor on the new place, she declared, Well, at
least one of you has the sense to choose wisely though I wouldnt have figured that one would be
Arianne. She has committed herself to you after all. Im going to bed. Ill see you when the sun
goes down. She was still mumbling about his foolishness as she left the room and all I could do
was laugh.

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Chapter 7
The repairs on the Bohemian house were not completed until late spring. In the few months
that we remained with Kila I often made trips into Ayr to see what I could find out about Gavin
and on one foolish and notable occasion I attempted to enter the house. I had been warned about
the possible consequences of this from my friend (Luke knew nothing of these trips I took) but I
thought if I could just talk to this elusive vampire and tell him about his true love who lived
alone high above his world I could leave her knowing that she wouldnt be lonely. Gavin was on
me as soon as I crossed the threshold into the place and I knew that talking reason to him was
pointless. The brief glimpse of his face that I got before I fled showed me a vampire who was
completely mad. With a few scratches that healed long before I returned, I went back saying
nothing of what had happened. I could not tell Kila the truth. It wasnt just that I had gone in and
risked my safety in the process after she told me not to. I could have dealt with her temper. No, I
believed that any chance she might have had to save her love was gone and that he was beyond
all hope and I could not handle her heartbreak. Knowing this, knowing that when we left her she
would be completely alone again, made the thought of going almost unbearable for me.
It was in the middle of May when Luke came back from a hunt with a letter in his hand.
Its finished, my love. The house is ready for us. We can prepare for the journey as soon as
possible. I will see about coaches and
Lucania, you are a vampire. For Christs sake, travel like one. Air travel will get you there
in no time. Even a walk for us decreases the time of traveling like a human. I know there are
times when we must travel like humans but this isnt one of them. Ill make sure your things
make it to you. Oh, and another thingjust because you were able to send some of your clothes
here for safe keeping, that doesnt mean that Arianne wants to spend the rest of her life in my old
dresses. Buy the girl some bleedn clothes before you take her to the house. Kila demanded
without looking up from her writing. In fact, get her new wardrobe from Prague. They have
wonderful dress shops in Prague as I recall.
While it was true that I had been wearing her clothes as long as we had been with her
because everything I owned had been left behind in Paris, she had never mentioned it before and
I thought this a bit strange until Luke asked with a grin, So what is it you need? A dress? A new
pair of boots?
Looking up at him with a grin of her own, she replied, A few dresses would suit me just
fine. Let our girl pick them out, though. The last gown you sent me went to the Highland church
in Dalmally for some poor unfortunate soul to make use of. I adore you, dear friend, but it is
Angelus who was gifted with the fashion sense in the male portion of this family.
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She took it well, this news of our departure. But of course she would. Kila was not the sort
of soul to show that she needed companionship. She never let on that she was lonely. Maybe she
wasnt. But I did not want to leave her there. When I asked her to come with us as we packed the
few things we had outside of crates, she brushed the idea away saying we would visit and she
would come up before we moved again to see the place. It had been so much easier to say
goodbye to Lucius and Angel in Rome because they had each other. Kila had become my dearest
friend and she had no one else once we were gone. Still, she remained firm in her decision asking
only that I write her often and promising to send with our things a spell that could deliver a letter
to her without the hassle of waiting on the post. It was hard to let her go but in the end Luke and
I had no choice. We were again on our own traveling mostly on foot but at a great speed to get to
our home, the first we had ever made together in this lifetime.
I was familiar with some of the landscape on either side of the forest which was a comfort as
we drew near the place where we were going to live. As soon as we entered the forest I had felt
something strange around me, something I had never encountered in the woods I had grown up
around. This place seemed huge but even that could not account for the feeling of power. It was
as if centuries of magic, centuries of strange creatures like us, had called this place home. I even
felt as if there was a vampire close by. But Luke said nothing about this so I kept quiet as we
walked. However, the feeling grew stronger as we walked toward the house. I could see the top
of the structure through the trees, tall turrets, but just as we were about to reach the clearing
where it sat I stopped. Luke, cant you feel it? There is a vampire around here! I whispered
frantically.
At this he laughed. Yes, there is. Come on. You are about to meet another brother of mine,
another vampire made of Luciuss blood. He is the maker of Rapunzel though it would be best if
you not mention her name. He carries guilt or something. I dont know. Hes the sort who
rejoices in his melancholy but hes kind enough and he was the one who watched over
everything for us while the place was going through its renovation. He wont stay long. He cant
stand the company of other vampires most of the time. But we owe him our thanks.
I did not want to like this vampire. I had read Rapunzels story. I knew what he had done to
her, making her and leaving her for dead. I couldnt imagine the horror of what she faced when
she woke up alone her first night as a newborn vampire. All of this I wanted to hold against him.
Yet when we walked up to the massive porch and I saw the man with blonde hair that I
recognized from the London bar that was over top of the city of vampires, I was too shocked to
be angry. He had an innocent face. That was not something you found in vampires. It was the
first time I had seen it, anyway, with the exception of Cook. It was not the sort of face you
associated with the keeper of such an evil city or with the abandonment of his only fledgling.
Perhaps he was simply better at keeping his secrets than the rest of us were Arianne! I
blinked at Luke and I was stunned to realize that while looking at this stranger, trying to figure
him out, I had been put under the same spell I put mortal victims in before I kill them!
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How dare you! How did you do that? I am a vampire! How were you able to take over my
mind like we do to our prey and why did you do it? I demanded.
The vampire smiled at me and he extended his hand but I was too angry to accept. Sorry. I
am never good at first impressions. I am Drake, dear girl, and the last time I saw you, you were
very nearly mad. I was simply taking a peek to see if you werebetter. And you are. I am glad
to see that. Some night I might come for a visit and we can talk about my crimes against
Rapunzel and well chat about the mad city I grant access to when I am in London. But tonight I
must go. Something very interesting has been brought to my attention and I must travel to the
other side of this place to investigate it further. I may soon be hosting a ball a few hundred miles
from herein Germany. Perhaps I will see you there. Goodnight.
His blue eyes seemed cold, his blonde hair was long and it looked soft as silk, but the
innocence was gone from his face. That had been part of the illusion he cast on me. I wondered
how my victims saw me in those last moments. Was I beautiful to them, a sweet angel of death?
What spell was I unintentionally casting on them each time I took over their minds before I took
their lives? I stayed there waiting for Luke as he spoke with Drake and as soon as Drake was
gone, I demanded answers from him. How the hell did he do it, Lucania? Why didnt you tell
me that I could be put under the spell vampires cast?
Its called a glamour. I think we stole that name from witchesor they stole it from us.
Anyway, most vampires cannot glamour our kind. I have tried it on you before and I was
unsuccessful. Of course, I didnt push hard and you always know when I attempt to touch your
mindbut I think he has simply honed his ability. Hes good at it. Now, what about this
beautiful home we have? Would you like to see it?
I had more questions about this strange creature but I put them on hold as I followed Luke
through the gorgeous house. It was huge, far larger than we needed really. But he had converted
half of the second floor into a library for me and he had set up a room where he could play music
and paint with the rest of that floor. The first floor was set up with parlors and powder rooms, a
fully functioning kitchen, all those things a vampire must think about though half of the stuff is
there only to keep up appearances. The third room had a ballroom, a solarium in one turret, and a
room set up once for watching enemies now made perfect for watching the stars and the moon in
the second turret. But there was more
Gavin and I talked about his passages that he built long ago and I thought that it was a
fabulous idea. But I wanted more than that. I wanted an entire floor full of bedchambers with no
light. A floor where we can come and go whenever we please. Of course, this house had no such
floor but Pushing on a wall in the ballroom, I wasnt totally surprised to see the wall open
into a door with a lock. I was, however, quite surprised to see him open the lock with a drop of
his blood.
What the hell is that? I asked, gesturing toward the lock.
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It is a lock opened only by vampire blood. I dont understand it completely since our
blood changes frequently but Kila came up with it and it works so I dont question it. Anyway, I
had this floor divided in half and this half has all windows sealed up as if they never existed.
Drake himself walked it in the middle of the day and he says it is perfectly safe. Our bedchamber
is here along with six extra rooms in case we have company and there is a small library at the
end of the hall with a desk and an easel. It isnt an entire house but it is a place where we are safe
and we can roam should insomnia ever take over.
I commented on the convenience of this black wing of the house but I was worried about
my love as I walked around. Neither of us was prone to insomnia and this did not feel like a
place he made in case we couldnt sleep and we grew bored. It seemed like a place he created to
hide. But from what? I wanted to question him further but for the second time I dropped my
questions to look at the beautiful room that was ours. He must have asked that candles be
shipped in from three countries by the look of things. There were so many! But the real surprise
came when I saw the bed. How did you save it? Everything burned! I questioned as I touched
the post of what was definitely Lukes bed from France.
Not everything. There were so many memories in that bed that I had to bring it when I
found out it survived. Are you pleased to see it? He asked.
Of course. But how did you hear about its survival?
I told you I went to France. Now, I want you to see the paintings I found in Italy.
Like that, the subject was dropped, all talk of him going to his old home knowing how
dangerous it was ceased, and while I loved the house I felt like I had been nothing but confused
since I first set eyes on it. But in the nights that followed, the feeling faded. I found true joy in
the forest around us and when I could talk Lucania into acting foolish with me out there I felt a
real freedom. Sometimes when he wasnt in the mood to play I would go out among the trees and
I would just run. I felt like we had our own world. There were no people for miles and there
were a few little cities in three countries that we could access with relative ease when we needed
to feed or when we wanted to simply enjoy the company of humans. It wasnt as if we were
cutting ourselves off from the world. It was that when we returned to our secret home I felt as if
we had created a world of our own that was open to no one else.
About a week after we arrived I awoke with dusk to find our crates from Kilas home sitting
on the porch. As Luke and I carried them in I expressed my surprise at this delivery. I thought
our friend was bringing them personally and I wondered how she managed to get them to us so
fast through the post. In response, he laughed. She didnt use the post, I can assure you. This is
a product of one of her many talents. She used magic.
Immediately we started unpacking the books and putting them on the shelves in the library
with Luke sorting through them to determine what would go into the small library in the dark
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wing of the house. I saw that he was counting the crates as if he were puzzled by something.
Whats the matter? I asked.
She sent three crates more than I had at her house. I wonder whats in them.
Climbing down from the ladder I was using to put things away, I laughed at him. I have a
fabulous idea, my love. Why dont we open them and find out?
Because they had my name on them and mine alone Luke insisted I open them and when I
did I found a crate of books on magic, one crate with tools like Kilas own in Scotland, and a
third crate full of herbs, oils, and candles. The crate with the books contained a note from my
friend explaining that she didnt want me to give up my learning just because I left her house and
that she had picked the best books for my continued training. She had also copied the most
valuable information from her familys Book of Shadows and she had purchased a bound book
with blank pages so that I might start my own book of this sort. At the end of the letter she told
me that the next time she saw me she expected me to be a witch almost as good as she. Because
Luke knew quite a bit on the subject himself, he took the things upstairs to one of the spare
rooms that we had intended to use as a bedchamber and he promised to get me a table I could use
as an altar and a book shelf for the books. If this is what you want. He added. You told me
she had taught you some things but you did not say if you wished to learn more.
I hadnt thought about it. I loved the magic, I loved the ritual, and I even enjoyed the thought
of believing in Gods that were fallible and not so different from us. Thats not to say that I
thought I could truly believe in such beings. I knew magic existed because I had seen it before
my own eyes. I had never seen a god. However, without Kila I wasnt sure that I could go
further. When I expressed this, Luke declared his willingness to help and that seemed to settle
things. That night when I went into a German village to hunt and a Bohemian village to mingle,
Luke was out acquiring the things he thought I needed for my magic. The following evening the
work began on the room as Luke helped me set up the altar with the things Kila had sent and he
looked through the books to determine what we should start with. At the last minute he decided
to bring our rose into the room with the glass case that Kila had sent to protect it. It felt as if it
belonged there, this strange thing of pure magic born of our blood. As we stood in the middle of
the room looking over the finished product I felt like I had everything. It was like this house was
the beginning of an eternity full of peace and happiness. I didnt question whether or not I
deserved it, being what I am. I simply hugged Lucania as gratitude for it washed over me.
The two of us lived in a state of relative happiness for the better part of two decades.
Because of our habit of frequenting only one town in one country at a time, we were able to stay
in one place and have human companionship without raising suspicion all that time. In those
days, while the three countries near to us were close together, mountain ranges cut through all of
them and few people bothered traveling. This kept stories of us from spreading. I kept working
on magic when we were home, at first with Luke as my guide and then more on my own as the
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years passed and my confidence grew. Kila and I communicated constantly in letters sent back
and forth using the spell she had promised to send me before we left her in Scotland. She kept us
updated on anything she heard concerning the others around the world and tales of Angel and
Lucius and their strange university were a common staple in her letters to us. I thought it would
last forever, this strange bliss. Sometimes Luke would act strange, moody, but it passed so
quickly that it was hardly a problem. It truly seemed as if we could go on forever in our strange
place of magic without the reality of the world around us ever intruding.
One night in 1741 I awoke with the strangest feeling that there was a third vampire
somewhere in the house. Luke was awake already as he so often was thanks to a trouble sleeping
that he experienced now and then after we moved but the tingle all over my body alerted me to
the fact that this wasnt Luke. However, I felt no danger so I didnt hesitate to venture
downstairs. As soon as I got to the first floor I heard a voice that put a smile on my face and I
picked up my pace until I stood in the library. I couldnt believe that Kila had at last traveled
outside of her home to see us. I was about to make a sarcastic remark about it when something
occurred to me. Whats wrong? I asked.
Well, dearie, tis nice to see you as well. I am wounded by the assumption that something
has to be wrong for me to come and see my dearest friends. Kila replied with a mischievous
smile.
Cut the bullshit. As long as Ive known you its taken nothing less than grave danger to get
you to visit anyone. Since you are not in the habit of suddenly changing in nature, I know the
same is true now. What is it? Whats happened? I countered, taking a seat in the chair next to
her. Luke, I noticed, was standing beside of the fireplace looking as if he were deep in thought
about something. All of this had me on edge.
This. This is whats wrong. She answered at last, handing me a small book she had inside
of her robes. I found a copy of it in Scotland and thats enough to worry me. It hasnt been
translated into English but if its being sold in Edinburgh already I am sure it soon will be. And
when it is, the fecking thing will spread like wild fire. All the stories Ive heard of our kind from
the lips of humans, all the tales about real vampires that seeped into human lore as fairy stories,
and this is the first Ive seen in print. Congratulations.
What I looked down upon was the first version of Beauty and the Beast that was ever
published. The name of the author was listed as Madame Gabrielle de Villeneuve and as I read
the tale I was struck by the similarities between that of Beauty and myself. I knew that this was
the story of me and Luke, of our love and our nights in France. The battle between Luke and the
townspeople had been omitted from the tale and the beast in the story was physically monstrous,
the whole thing spun with human fancy, but it was our tale none the less. I had no idea what this
meant. Now that the story had been given a life of its own among humans and the name of the
girl was not my own I thought it was better than the word-of-mouth fashion in which it was
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beginning to spread when we left Scotland. But to read of our tale written by a complete stranger
was a shock to my system that I wasnt sure I could ever get over. Handing the book back to
Kila, I could only shake my head as a response when she asked me what I thought. I needed to be
alone. I needed to kill so I might clear my mind and then I would return to my beast and my
friend to talk over this strange turn of events. Thankfully, neither of them objected when I simply
walked out.
I pondered the way that the story was told as I hunted in an Austrian village for my dinner.
The beast in the tale was Lukes opposite really. The beast was physically hideous but in truth,
he was a handsome prince transformed by the curse of an angry fairy. The reality, of course, was
that Luke was physically beautiful and he could blend in perfectly with humans. His beast lived
within him. But that was easy to explain. It would do no good to return from hunting a beast and
tell your friends that what you saw was a man who wasnt really a man. I could only imagine the
stories my former friends might have told about Luke by their hearth fires after that night. I
assumed Beautys name came from my nickname, the one they all called me throughout my life.
Her fathers part in her fate was also easy to explain. The people who originally spread my tale
in France knew that it was the death of my father that led me to Lukes enchanted castle. But
the part that I was surprised to see was the involvement of the rose. What did it mean? Had one
of them seen the crushed flower in my hand come back to life when I was saved by true loves
kiss? And how had the ending been changed in that way? It was Luke, after all, who saved me.
Perhaps the men that witnessed my transformation that night were more insightful than I ever
gave them credit for. Maybe when they saw the beast weep for his little beauty they felt that his
humanity was restored to him. With a heavy mind and the blood of a traveler flowing through
me, I was prepared to hear what the others had to say.
Better? Kila asked when I returned. I found them both in the library where I left them.
Luke was sitting now but that expression was still on his face. It was easy to forget at first that
this was his tale as well. What had he thought when he read it? Was he as affected by it as I had
been? It seemed as if he might have been and I couldnt help pulling up a chair next to him and
taking his hand.
I suppose. So what does it mean for us? You brought it here so I assume you were troubled
by it but the way I see it, the alterations that were done to this story make it easier for Luke and
me to separate ourselves from it. This is no longer a story about Arianne the actress and her lover
who looked like a man and roared like a beast. It is now the story of Beauty and her cursed
monster of a suitor. Thats a good thing, isnt it? I questioned. It was easier to do this, to talk of
the practical side of this thing, than to delve into the emotions attached to it.
That is one side of it, yes. I brought the story to you not because it worried me that the two
of you might somehow be linked with it but because I wanted you to see it from someone you
know as opposed to hearing that the thing existed from a group of strangers. However, it does
make me wonder about the tales I have collected. I intended to release them to the world when I
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wrote them but I always thought of that as something I would do someday. Now I am wondering
how long it will take before the other stories are found in print, all traces of our kind stripped
from them and replaced with distressed humans and fairy curses. I was hoping that perhaps Luke
might have suggestions but it appears he is still reeling from the shock of seeing himself as a
prince disguised as a beast. Personally, old friend, I think it suits you. I know that women have
always taken a shine to that face of yours but in truth it was really the same woman in a different
body and you must admit that your chin doesnt really fit your features. Your eyes are strange.
Your hair could befuller
Not tonight, Kila. Now isnt the time for our typical banter. I havent the fucking heart for
it. He replied darkly, snatching his hand away from me as he walked over to the fireplace again.
How will you feel when your story is told one day in this way? You wont be cast as a vampire.
You certainly wont be cast as a witch. Witches are the villains in such tales, you know. Who
knows what light they will cast you in. And lets not get into the role they will say Aurelio
played in your life. I will bet he wont appear as the soulless bastard that ripped everything from
you
Do not mention that name to me. I know you are in the mood to be spiteful but thats going
too far. As far as the rest goes, how many times do you suppose all of that has crossed my mind
since I happened upon this book last week? That would be my fecking point, Lucania! What
should I do? I cant just put them out into the world but I have to do something! These are our
stories! They belong to us, they tell the truth about us, they show what we are capable of both in
love and in our capacity for cruelty. To let humans take them and twist themand the title was
the same. For some reason that troubled me the most. It was the title you chose for your story
and without having a way to know you had, some human came along and wrote out your tale and
she stole your title as well. I cant let this happen to all of them!
This woman, whoever she is, chose the same title because it is the same tale. A sweet
beautiful girl is foolish enough to accept the love of a monster and to love him in return. What
else is there to name it but Beauty and the Beast? As for the other tales, I cant see that it matters
one way or the other if you attempt to save them from the clutches of humans when the reality is
that no human is going to read a story that talks of a vampire loving, a vampire giving everything
to feel loved in return. We are not creatures who deserve their pity. We are not creatures who
deserve to be loved. No matter how you put them into the world, the vampires will be replaced
with humans because humans despise us and that is that. We are all beasts, Kila. Dont waste
your time putting on the sheeps clothing. I have something I need to tend to. Ill be back before
you leave but I wont be home before dawn. Goodnight, ladies.
Luke! I called out but he was gone before I could reach him. His reaction was much
stronger than I ever expected it to be. I looked to Kila to help me make sense of it as I felt a
sinking of my spirit at the realization that the bliss I thought I could hold on to forever was
quickly slipping away. What am I to do? I asked, my voice sounding weak to my ears.
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What can you do? Let him work this out for himself. It is one thing, I suppose, to call
yourself a beast but it is different altogether to have the entire world think of you in such a way.
He isnt seeing the root of the story, the reason it was retold after the night that you were turned.
He is not looking at this through the eyes of a human. He read the tale and saw before him
confirmation of his own self-loathing opinion. But cheer up, my girl. He cant hate himself so
strongly for all time. Its possible, sure, but I dont think hes that dedicated to such a cause.
While were on the subject, how did you feel about the story? The way you left made me worry
that it was too much for you as well.
How could I tell her the reaction that I had to it when I myself didnt understand it? When I
told you that you could keep the book Luke made I knew that there was a chance you would one
day release it. You are my best friend. I trust you with the story of our love. I have no idea who
this Madame de Villeneuve is. I have never laid eyes on her and she does not know I actually
exist yet she has taken something as personal as the love I share with Luke and shes handed it to
the world, portraying the vampire I love as a monstrous beast in the process. It feels like a
betrayal, an invasion. Even worse, I may now have to be reminded of that connection to my
humanity in passing conversations with people depending upon how popular this story becomes.
I hadnt realized how much I have distanced myself from my past until I was reading of it in
black and white through the eyes of a complete stranger. What a jumble of emotions that
produced!
Kila remained at the house with me for three nights and in that time Luke did not return. She
and I talked a few times about the fate of the other stories, over what she should do, but nothing
was truly decided. She told me that she had added another tale to her collection thanks to the
bizarre vampire I met when we arrived at our home. It seemed that Drake had turned a German
princess into a vampire and that his method was so noteworthy, his efforts so charming, Kila had
to copy the story. When I asked her the title of the book, she said that this one would be like
Rapunzels, named for the tragic princess stolen by Drakes dark blood, and it was called
Cinderella after the girl. But all of our talk could not erase my fear that something was terribly
wrong with Luke, that he should have come back the second night, and that this story Kila
brought us had indeed woken up the beast in him once more.
When he did return he was acting strange, as if Lucania himself had been lost somewhere in
the woods and what had returned was only an imposter in Lukes skin. Yes, he smiled and he
laughed, he wished our friend well when she left, and he told me he had missed me as he held me
just right. But I felt all the while as if I were back on the stage and he was an actor simply
reciting his lines and throwing in smiles at the appropriate places. I assumed this would pass, that
it was simply a side effect of everything we learned. As I was dealing with Lukes odd behavior
there was something else that troubled me deeply. The night that Kila left I felt the tingle that
told me a vampire was near the house. I even went out into the woods around us putting out the
call of the mind telling whoever was lurking that I was a vampire as well and they were free to
show themselves. No one came forward but the feeling stayed and it was nearly constant as if
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whoever was lurking was there always watching from afar. I said nothing to Luke and I pushed it
all aside in an attempt to keep my paradise from falling into the clutch of reality.

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Chapter 8
About a month after Kilas departure I awoke to find that the lock on the door wouldnt
open with the drop of my blood that I gave it. I assumed that it was a glitch in the spell that kept
it going and I went into the library to read while I waited for Luke to wake up. The spell for the
lock was one I wasnt familiar with but I assumed Kila had told him all she knew of the thing she
had created and he could fix it as soon as he rose. In the meantime I was going to read and try to
enjoy the fact that the presence of another vampire did not hit me as soon as I woke that night as
it had every night for a month.
I heard Lukes boots on the floor and without as much as a hello, I said, Luke, my love,
something is wrong with that damned lock of yours. I cant get out and Im starving. I didnt
bother to look up from my book until I heard a laugh that was so cold, so foreign to my ears, that
I feared I had been mistaken about who was in the room with me. When I did look at him I
realized that physically, yes, it was Lucania. But the eyes were too wild, the smile too cruel to
belong to him. I was terrified but I hid it. I blocked out the thought that he looked possessed. I
willed the fear from my voice as I commanded, Fix the damned thing! I need to hunt!
He had me pinned against the wall so quickly that it was hard for me to take in what he had
just done. You are not starving but you soon will be. We both will. Such a cruel way to exist for
all time, isnt it? It may take years for someone to come upon this place and even when they do,
it wont help us. No one knows this wing exists. They couldnt break the lock even if they did
know about it. You know, all of us who are abominations say the same thing, that we need blood
to survive, but that simply isnt true. Well survive without it for the rest of time if no one comes
along to end our misery. We need the blood to function. It isnt the same thing at all. But you
will soon find out, little beauty.
What the hell is the matter with you? Have you gone completely mad? I cried out as the
weight of his words, the truth of his intentions, sunk in.
Releasing me so quickly I nearly fell forward, he smiled in a way that left no doubt that
whatever stood before me was no longer Lucania, only an imposter in his skin. Not at all.
Madness? You dare call this madness? I was mad for murdering millions of people for three
thousand years! That was madness! I should have let you die in France. You were supposed to
die! Instead I pushed aside all thoughts of what was best for you and I turned a beautiful, sweet,
young girl into a monster! I sentenced you to this darkness! If I truly wanted to do what was best
for you I would lock you in the ballroom and let the sun take you but Im still too selfish to let
you go. So I am sorry, love, but its here with me youll stay.
I couldnt follow him when he walked out. If I had known he was in the process of
barricading himself inside the bedchamber we shared I might have had a change of heart but I
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felt powerless and twisted inside by everything that had just occurred, the proof of the fears I had
carried since that damned book was brought to our attention. I knew spirits existed and I knew
there were energy forces that had never been human. I also knew that either of those things could
possess but I had never heard of a vampire being invaded in this way. There was the possibility
that Luke had been the victim of a spell but that seemed almost as impossible as possession.
After all, who could have cast a spell on him and why? That left one explanation. Luke had gone
mad. In London when I was nearly at such a point myself he helped save me but could I return
the favor when he was beyond the edge of insanity?
I spent three nights arguing with Luke from the other side of an enchanted door that he had
used magic to lock me out of, begging the man inside the beast to return to me. I was growing
weaker each night. It wasnt a terrible weakness overtaking me but I noticed that I did not have
the energy I typically had. I needed blood. But try as I might, I could not get that damned lock to
open and whatever had taken over Luke would not budge in the decision to starve us both. After
that third night he went silent. I could hear no movement on the other side of the door. If there
was a window in the room, I would have feared that he had committed suicide. When I tried to
reach his mind it was as if he were unconscious. I could feel the wave length I needed but it was
dead. It was then that fear overtook me. That was the moment that I realized he was being
influenced by a force that was stronger than madness.
As I retreated into the library to think over the situation I found myself in, I was slammed
with the feeling that the vampire who had spent a month stalking us was back. Not only did I feel
it, I felt that the vampire was very close, as if he was in the house. Yes, I could tell now that it
was a male vampire. I could also tell that he had very dark intentions where Luke and I were
concerned. He wanted in, he wanted to get to us, and despite the obvious negative repercussions
of it, I finally had a reason to be grateful that Luke had altered the spell so that the lock opened
only with his blood. However, none of this helped me in the matter of procuring blood for
myself. Each night that passed, I was losing energy and a world of dreams was threatening to
take me permanently from reality. Now and then a mouse would cross my path and I was able to
feast on its blood but it wasnt enough. A colony of mice would not have been enough. I needed
human blood.
One night the vampire that had taken up residence in our home finally found the spot in the
wall of the ballroom that was moved aside to reveal the door to our black prison. I was on the
other side where I spent so much time going through any spell I could think of to release the hold
on the lock when I heard him trying the lock himself. Over a month had passed since I had had a
drop of the vital liquid I needed and I was beyond the point of fearing whoever was on the other
side. So when I heard him attempting to break through, I called out, Its no use. You wont
break it. You might as well go back to whatever it is you spend your nights doing in my home.
At first I was greeted with silence and if the feeling of his presence hadnt been so strong I
would have thought that he had left. Finally I heard the voice of our unwanted guest for the first
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time. You stupid little fool! Go in there and cut him! Its nothing to take his blood right now.
He is lying lifeless, his mind trapped between worlds. He wont notice!
I laughed at the bastard. In that moment I thought of how terrible it would be if I could
follow his instructions because I had just realized that he was the reason for all of this. It had
been a product of spells all along and this creature, the vampire Aurelio or Eerbus as he called
himself after he was turned, was the son of a bitch who cast it. There I was at my weakest point
in my immortal life with a vampire so vile that his own progeny refused to speak his name on the
other side of my door. Yet I would have fought him to my death if I could have conquered that
thing that separated us in that moment. So what is it that you want with us? Whatever it is, you
are going to be disappointed because you are not getting in. And if I must starve until I am lying
here as nothing more than flesh on bone that is what I shall do to make sure you lose!
The bastards laugh was so cold I imagined it turned the air around him to ice. So you are
going to judge me based on Kilas lies are you? You dont know me. You know nothing of the
truth between my fledgling and me. You know but one side of a story that has many. As for
Luke, he got what he wanted. He told me himself that he wanted to kill the beast inside of him.
Physically he is no longer killing and mentally he is now staying in the days of his mortality with
a girl named Calliope. He is righting ancient wrongs and living the life he would have had
without the interference of that ignorant slave and Lucius, her fallen master. If he remained in
this state for all time the beast would certainly be dead, would it not?
I had no idea what he was talking about. As he spoke I was seeing flashes of a vampire that
had to be Aurelio in a long cape with a hood covering most of his face walking alongside Luke
as Luke was lamenting his fate in a way that he would never do with me. Apparently he had
approached Lucania the night that Kila came. This explained everything that I noticed when
Luke returned. But it raised as many questions as it answered. Because I felt exhausted and I
wanted answers to the many questions that these truths brought up, I laid down completely in
front of the door prepared to talk to him as long as he would stay. It was the first time I had heard
any voice in a month and even if he was an evil, soulless bastard, at least he was a part of the
world outside. I suppose it would. So you promised that you could give him the cure to his
problems as a vampire. What did he give you in return?
What he gave me is irrelevant. Its what he refused me that I am concerned with. And I,
too, am willing to stay here as long as it takes to get it. The bastard replied.
This was insane, the entire situation, and thinking on the absurdity of it made me laugh.
Well, I suppose that makes us housemates then. Beauty and the Unwanted House Guest,
Chapter One. Now there is a story for the ages. I couldnt help the hysterical laughter that came
from me. Something was happening and while I didnt understand it, I hadnt the energy to fight
it. A flash of the immortal rose in Aurelios hand only made me laugh harder. So that was what
he was after. And why not? According to Kila, it had some of the most powerful magic on earth
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inside of it. He could probably destroy the entire world with the right spell and a few drops of
blood from my rose. But I would burn in hell before I ever let him near it. You dare call me a
fool? You want the rose and yet here you are destroying the source of its power. Or did you not
spy on all of us enough to know that if Luke or I die the rose dies as well? Yes, its true. Its
probably growing weaker every moment that we stay here without feeding.
In that moment I thought of an idea that was so simple, so obvious, I felt like a fool for not
thinking of it sooner. I left Aurelio babbling on about the things I did not know as I walked to the
room where I performed magic. On parchment I wrote out a letter to Kila explaining everything
that was happening and alerting her to the fact that her maker was in my house and I burned it as
she once taught me to do. I couldnt send it physically because one had to be outside to
accomplish that even with magic but the communication with a reply technique was simple and
almost always it worked. Unfortunately, doing the spell made me weaker than I was when I
walked in. Lying on the floor I had no choice but to surrender to dreams of a past I couldnt
remember. Sometimes in the dreams Kila would appear and she would give me messages. It
seemed that she was contacting Lucius and that the two were coming to release me as soon as he
arrived. But as I waited on the pair to rescue me, all I could do was let the dreams come. At least
in this strange sleep I was with Luke and we were happy again.
At last I received the message from Kila that I had to wake, to summon the energy to get up
and come to the door. She and Lucius were just moments from the house. I wanted to watch the
father of all vampires rip Aurelio to shreds almost as much as I wanted blood and it was that
thought that inspired me to wake. I was glad that Aurelio was on the other side of the door just as
he had been nights before when I left him. Locking my mind against his prying, I listened to him
mock me for being too weak to save myself. The entire time he was speaking I was thinking of
his demise with a half-hearted smile.
Suddenly it was Kila I heard. Do you know what he did to this lock? She questioned.
All I know is that he changed the spell so his blood alone will open it. He has the
bedchamber door under the same spell. I cant get to him, Kila. I havent been able to get to him
since this began. I cried out.
He did well on this but I have a few tricks of my own. Justonemore...aha! For the
first time in about two months the door opened. I was free. But the man I loved was still trapped.
Not only was he locked inside the room, he was locked inside himself. I couldnt move even
after the door was open and I was free to go. I watched Kila work on the bedchamber door and I
stayed where I was when Lucius appeared, rushing to the side of his progeny as soon as the door
was opened and he could get to Luke. I could hear his thoughts, that Luke was going to end up
like the girl they called Snow White. Over and over again he attempted to reverse the sleeping
spell on Lucania and all I could do was sit there in the doorway and watch the attempts fail one
after the other. It was decided that we needed to leave, that action could be achieved at Kilas
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house, and still I sat there silent, weak, and numb as Lucius picked Lucania up to carry him to
Scotland. Kila helped me up telling Lucius to go ahead and she went straight into my magic
room and grabbed the rose before we went outside to feed. I answered all the questions she
asked, I heard her rage over the fact that Aurelio got away because his maker hadnt the heart to
destroy him, and I fed on five men in one small village to quench my blood thirst. But my mind
was with Luke. I knew that if he never came out of this I would be like the witch in Snow
Whites story. I would keep him with me as he lived forever in dreams of what we should have
had once.
When we arrived at Kilas home Angelus was there as well and he and his maker were in a
heated argument over Luciuss decision to let Aurelio live. Kila jumped in siding with Angelus
immediately but in that moment I cared not about the fate of the bastard who caused all of this. I
was preoccupied with the fate of Aurelios victim. Lucius had Luke lying on the bed we once
shared when we spent our time there and I couldnt resist crawling into the bed with him. It was
the first time I had been able to look at his face in months. His body felt lifeless in my arms as I
held him up so I could sit behind him, laying him with his head in my lap after I was adjusted in
my place. I held him tight enough to hurt a human body and I begged him to come back to me. I
even kissed him hoping that there was something to the old tales that spoke of true loves kiss
breaking any curse. I should have known better than anyone not to trust such a thing but when it
didnt work I felt completely defeated.
What we need is someone who can truly penetrate a vampire mind. I am not talking about
the reading of a mind. We are all equipped with that knowledge. No, what I am talking about is a
vampire who can
Glamour another vampire? I asked.
Yes! Exactly! But I doubt such a creature exists. I have never heard of a vampire being
glamoured before.
That strange vampireDrake? He can do it. He glamoured me. He can do to a vampire
mind the same thing we do to humans. I experienced it for myself. I offered.
You are sure of this, that you were glamoured? Lucius asked.
Absolutely. Luke confirmed it. He said that it was a rare gift Drake had. He might be able
to contact Luke and bring him back to us.
It was decided that Angel would go to Sweden where Drake was staying and try to persuade
him to come but there seemed to be some doubt that he would so it was decided that if Angelus
could not persuade him, Lucius was to travel because Drake would not refuse his maker. When I
asked why Lucius did not simply go in the first place if that was the truth, I was told simply that
Aurelio feared but one vampire and that was his maker. It was possible that the bastard had
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followed us and if he tried to come into Kilas house to take what he was after, it was best if
Lucius was there to stop him. There was a moment when everyone left me alone with Luke and
in the silence of the room with the rose glowing at my side I could not stop the tears that came
from my eyes. Looking down at my sleeping lover who was lost in a fantasy of what might have
been I had an idea. At first I opened my wrist and attempted to feed him feeling sure that the
smell of blood would bring him around but it did not and I couldnt open his mouth to force it
down his throat. Then I thought of something else. I could take a drop of blood from the flower
and perhaps its magic could save him from the terrible spell he was under. However, just as I
was about to pluck a petal from it, Angel came back into the room and, upon seeing what I was
about to do, he shouted, Stop! It will strengthen the curse, Arianne!
Goddamn it! I shouted, throwing the flower across the room. Hes practically dead
because of that fucking thing and its powers cant even help restore him? What if Drake does
come and he cant bring him around, Angelus? What is left for me if Luke never comes back? I
cried out. Looking down at his beautiful face, so serene in that moment, a small voice inside my
head pondered the selfishness of me wanting to bring him back. In his mind he had found peace.
All of the guilt, the fear, the loathing was gone. His entire life as a creature of darkness was
gone. As far as he knew in that moment he had his mortal life back with the woman he loved so
much that he gave up everything to follow her through space and time. Who was I to pull him
from that and bring him back into our dark reality?
He knows who he is. He knows what has happened. He is not at peace and he does not want
to stay there with her. He is looking for a way to come back to you. I can still see pieces of his
thoughts, Arianne, I simply cannot reach him. Its as if he is underground and I can hear him
calling to me but I cant dig deep enough to pull him out. He is frantically trying to wake up. I
wasnt going to mention this as I know that this must be torture for you already but he is terrified
in there. As for the rest, if Drake cannot save him we will keep searching for something or
someone who can. I will not abandon my brother and I will not leave you to face this on your
own. You have my word on that. Angel assured me and before he left us I watched as he bent
down and whispered something into Lukes ear. I could have sworn I saw tears staining his skin
as he walked out.
As long as I went without blood, I probably would have continued to starve had it not been
for Kila forcing me out to hunt. I was like a mortal holding vigil for a dying loved one. I feared if
I left something might change either for the better or for the worst. I couldnt bear the idea that
he might wake up while I was gone or, even worse, that he might somehow die without me there
to hold his hand. But when Kila went out for blood she insisted I come along. We went into the
village where her love lived though I was apprehensive about traveling so far when we could
have gone to a village close by. I understood now in a way I never could have before what kept
her from approaching Gavin. After seeing what Aurelio could do to Luke, I knew why she feared
his wrath might be directed at a half-mad vampire who was over two thousand years younger
than Lucania. She was on edge as soon as we entered Ayr and I believe that love and a hatred for
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Aurelio provoked the bloody mess the two of us made that night. We killed a group of six
without remorse, without reading their minds to see if they were innocent, and we loved every
moment of it. On the way back we ran into a man who was simply in the wrong place at the
wrong time. Again, neither of us cared that he had no evil staining his conscience. The two of us
smiled as she sunk her fangs deeply into one wrist and I did the same with the other. We did not
speak as we traveled on to her house. There was no point in it. We were both bound by evil
deeds and bitter pain and there was nothing more to say.
As soon as we walked into the room where Luke was laying, Lucius sensed what we had
done. Whether he read our thoughts or he could simply smell the innocent blood flowing in our
veins, I cant say but he pounced on Kila immediately. Why her and not me? I am not sure. But
as I sat beside of Luke with my hand in his wishing I could feed him so the glow would at least
return to his skin, the argument between Kila and Lucius filled the room. It was brutal, the things
she was saying to him. Finally the source of her fury was voiced. You let him go! That bastard
put Lucania, our Lucania, into a world he cannot escape from! Pretty soon if things do not
change his flesh will start to sink in against his bones. This could be forever, you fecking fool!
Arianne will have to decide whether she should commit him to the sun or sit there and watch the
man she loves as he becomes a hideous mummified thing before her eyes. For that alone you
should have destroyed Eerbus! Suddenly she laughed bitterly. Eerbus. The only thing the
bastard ever did right was give himself that fecking name. It suits him far better than the one he
was given at birth. And why, exactly, did you let him live? Thats the part I do not understand.
Why, you bastard? Has he not destroyed enough to prove to you that he will not be saved?
I cannot see how Aurelio has anything to do with this. We are not speaking of him. We
were discussing the fact that you just waltzed into a village and killed innocent people and I see
no connection between the two at all! Lucius replied. He did not raise his voice but his tone was
full of fury.
Oh really? Ariannes lover is lying at deaths door because of the bastard, I hunted with the
silhouette of the house my own love claims standing in the distance tonight knowing I cant go to
him because of the bastard, and you cant understand how all of this led to the two of us sinking
our fangs into the first set of warm bodies we came across? Lets forget for a moment the fact
that you worry more for the fate of humans than for the fate of your own fledgling and lets
return to the question at hand. Why the hell did you let him go?
You have no idea how strong the bond between me and each one of my children is. You
have never turned a human into a vampire. Aurelio is my child, Kila, and it is not as easy as you
apparently believe to simply destroy him. He replied but something in his response seemed
false.
Bullshit, Lucius! No, I know what you have in mind. You know hes planning some sort of
battle and he has been for centuries and you, the fecking fool you are, intend to let him have it so
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you can defeat it and make your way back into Olympus! Its pathetic really. Have you ever read
the Christian Bible? You are as pathetic as the devil in that story, the fallen angel doing all he
can to either spite God or to earn his way back into She stopped suddenly and gasped. Oh
my god! I cant believe I didnt see it before That sorry little bastard!
Would you like to share your epiphany with the rest of us or am I too pathetic to hear what
you think youve discovered? Lucius asked in that same calm yet vicious tone.
The Christian Bible? Have you read it? Kila questioned. I had of course but the question
wasnt directed at me so I kept my mouth shut. Holding on to Lukes hand, I watched the two as
if they were engaged in a game of chess.
No, of course I havent. Do you forget where I came from? What reason would I have to
read such a book? Lucius replied.
In the book it speaks of the devil that was once called Lucifer. As I am sure you know,
Lucifer is a Roman god of light. Ironically enough, Lucius also means light. The devil was once
the most beautiful angel in heaven and he became incredibly big headed as a result of that beauty
so God cast him out and made him the ruler of hell. Sound a bit familiar by any chance? I had
never thought of the similarities between Luciuss tale and that of the Christian devil before but
now that Kila had mentioned it, the two stories were quite similar. However, Lucius shook his
head as if this were not possible. How old is your dear Aurelio? Three thousand years or so,
correct?
He was turned three thousand and twelve years ago but
And this version of Lucifer was brought to the attention of Romans about two thousand
years ago. Rome is his homeland, Lucius. Did he go back after you turned him? Was he there
around that time? And dont tell me you dont know. You keep track of us all!
Yes. He replied quietly. Yes, he was there around that time. Still, I see no reason why he
would twist my tale and feed it to humans as a religion. I see no reason why he would demonize
me.
As I said before, he has some battle that hes worked on as long as I have walked the earth.
To enslave humans, to destroy all of us who despise him, whatever the plan is, wouldnt it be
better for him if the one vampire he fears was thought to be the epitome of all evil by humans?
Wouldnt that make it rather easy to rally them against you? Perhaps he had no idea that the
stories he told would become a religion. In fact, I doubt that was his plan at all. He only wanted
you to be associated with evil so when the time came he could use humans to destroy you. We
both know he likes to tell his stories. Look at what hes done with Arianne and Luke! If that
woman had written the tale the way he gave it to her with the truth about that damned rose inside
we would have a legion of vampires banging down the door right now! Like I said, hes
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completely mad and you need to destroy him before he has his plan worked out if you want to
save us all!
It took a moment for her words to sink in and when they did I jumped up with my hands on
my hips prepared to give the father of all vampires a piece of my mind as well. Aurelio was the
one who told our story? He is the reason the goddamned thing is in print? What did he tell her,
Kila? And how could you know that he did this thing, trying to tell our secret to vampires
everywhere, and not have the courage to end him, Lucius? Why is it that you can go around
destroying mad vampires all over the world when its needed but you cant bear to destroy him?
If it is that you are trying to allow him to do whatever he plans to do so you can sweep in and be
the hero I think you should realize that if these Gods exist as you say, they know what you are
doing. They see that you are using your children like lambs at the slaughter. I would never let
you back into heaven after that!
At once the two of them attempted a reply. Kila was going on about Aurelio befriending the
woman who wrote Beauty and the Beast and how he told her the complete truth about Luke and
me but she weaved a different tale on paper. Lucius was explaining once more his weak excuses
for allowing a sociopathic vampire to walk the earth. And in all of this I felt like both of them
were forgetting that with us laid the most amazing man I had ever met and that no solution to his
crises would be found in this way. When I could take no more I shouted, Shut up! Both of you
just shut the hell up! The reasons why Aurelio lives right now and the possibility of Lucius being
Satan has nothing to do with the important matter of Lucanias survival! So if the two of you are
going to go on like this, please go somewhere else! Im sorry I asked for explanations at all! I
cannot think like this and I need to consider what I will do if Drake cannot
I would not break before two of the most powerful vampires in existence. Pride forbade it.
But I wanted to. God, how I wanted to. Instead I sat at Lukes side once more and I took his ice
cold hand in mine. I noticed changes in him already. They were not dramatic. I imagined it
would take hundreds of years for him to become the thing Kila had predicted he would one day
be if we could not reverse the spell. However, his flesh was already a little harder than it once
was while at the same time feeling more flaccid than normal. His skin was also whiter than
usual. There was a faint touch of gray to his lips. Although he had technically been dead in the
mortal sense for centuries, this was the first time that I could look at him and see him as a human
corpse. How that tore at my heart!
I could not stand to think of Angels words, that Luke was terrified inside his mind. It was
easier to accept that he might never wake up when I thought he was in a state of oblivion.
Knowing he realized what had happened made me whisper words of comfort into an ear that
could be deaf to our world for all I knew. But my companions had stopped their argument and
they were now talking quietly of how they would all get together when Luke woke up to discuss
the possibility that Aurelio had influenced the birth of a religion that had swept over the world
we knew. The fact that they discussed Lukes awakening as if it were definite provided a bit of
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comfort but as I held him tight to me and I whispered words of love over and over again, I could
not be as sure of this as they were.
The next night Angel and Drake arrived at last. I didnt want to plead with the strange
vampire who once angered me beyond belief with the same talent I now needed him to use but
what choice did I have? We were all gathered together and he was investigating the sight of my
beloved as if he were trying to decide the best way to enter Lukes mind when I took his hand
and I looked into his eyes. I know that you and I are strangers to one another but I also know
that you understand love and heartbreak. Lucania is your brother in darkness and perhaps you
have a fondness for him because of that. But he is the love of my life. He is my maker as well.
He has made sure that each night I have spent as a vampire I have been as happy as I could be.
He has protected me from the world. If I lose him, I lose everything. So please keep that in mind
when you attempt this thing. Imagine that it was Rapunzel or Cinderella. Imagine it was the other
half of you trapped in her own mind. Try just as hard to save him as you would try to save her. I
beg you.
It shocked me when he gently touched my cheek and he smiled. I swear that I will do
everything I can to save him, my dear. I owe him a great deal for all he has done for me in the
past. I do not forget a kindness and I do not underestimate how much he means to you. If I can
do this thing, I will.
I believed him completely and I moved out of his way as he walked around the bed to lie
beside of Luke. Head to head they were with Lukes left hand in Drakes right. On the other side
I kneeled on the floor to take Lukes right hand praying to everything and nothing at all that this
strange plan would work. I have no idea how long we were like that but eventually Drake got up
and he simply walked out of the room. There was no change in Luke and it was then that I broke
completely, shaking with the sobs that came from me as Kila wrapped her arms around me. I
could feel her blood tears hitting the back of my neck, a testament to her own pain at Lukes fate.
We would never hear his voice again. We would never see his smile or mock his fury. He was
lost to us completely and the last words we spoke to one another were full of bitterness and hate.
What was I to do with the rest of my life? The only thing I could think of was the story of Snow
White, the ending that made me weep. I could not leave the man I loved trapped in his mind for
all time knowing that he was conscious of his state yet I could not simply let him burn in the sun
alone and afraid. The only rational option left was for me to go with him into that deadly light.
We would find each other again. We would always find one another. It would not be the end for
us but rather another beginning like all the rest
Drake rushed into the room suddenly and without a word of explanation he laid on top of
Luke so that they were touching their foreheads and their eyes together. I noticed that he was
holding Lukes eyelids open to expose his eyes but under the circumstances I thought this was
futile. I closed my eyes, unable to stand seeing another failed attempt. Kila was still embracing
me and I was sure that she was watching all of this anticipating the outcome but to me it was
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hopeless. When I felt Luke squeeze my hand it took a moment to realize that he had responded to
my touch. My eyes shot up in time to see Drake move over with a grin. Lukes eyes were open
on their own! He was looking around as if he were confused by everything he saw and I feared
that what had come back was the beast that held me hostage in our forest paradise. I told myself
that this was what kept me from jumping up and holding him. But when he looked over at me
and I saw the tears in his eyes I was in his arms in a flash. Oh, my little beauty, I am so sorry! I
can never make up for what I did to you! I was so stupid! I was so foolish to let my anger take
over that night in the woods and I
I kissed him like I hadnt seen him in months. When I felt him respond my heart leapt with
joy. Shh, dont talk of it. Its over, my love. You woke up! Thats all that matters now. What
happened in the woods, what happened in that house, none of it matters. You came back to me.
You came back. Remembering the source of this miracle, I looked at Drake and I grinned at
him. I owe you so much. If ever the time comes when there is anything I might be able to do for
you, all you need to do is find me and I will be at your service. No favor is too big or too small.
Not for you.
I shall keep that in mind, little one. But it was nothing really to save my brother. I had my
own selfish reasons for it. Like everyone else in this room, I cannot imagine living in a world
where Lucania no longer exists. I would have walked through fire to bring him back to us.
Drake replied. I knew there was some connection between the two men that Luke had never told
me about by the sincerity in Drakes words but in that moment getting to the bottom of such a
connection was the furthest thing from my mind.
Everyone gathered around Lucania as he sat up against the pillows prepared to embrace them
all as they came. I watched this as I stood beside of the bed where I had moved to allow Kila
access to her friend. I was glad that they were all there to welcome him back, to make him see
that his existence was not worthless, but at the same time I would have given anything to make
them all go away so I could be alone with him. I needed to feel his arms around me. I needed to
hear him whisper my name. When the subject of hunting came up, Luke expressed his fear that
he was too weak to go out. In response to this, I did ask everyone to give us a moment alone.
What I needed to do for him was as intimate as sex to a vampire and I wanted privacy for it.
When we were alone at last, I sat in front of Luke and I gave him my brightest smile. I missed
you so much. Promise me you will never leave me again. Promise you will never again feel as if
you are a beast. Can you see now how we love you? There is beauty in your existence, Lucania.
It is not for nothing that you live on.
Holding out his arms to me, he held me as tight as he could in that moment as he kissed the
top of my head. I dont know how you saw the conversation between Aurelio and me but you
must know that it was a moment of foolishness. I never meant a word of it. I kill to live. So do
humans. Most animals do the same. We all, every creature on earth, cut down some form of life
in order to keep us from dying. I feel no guilt for it. As much as it hurt to read about the beast
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from the eyes of a stranger, he is a part of me and without him I cant go on. I accept him. I
would never leave you, my girl. I know now that I would slaughter every person on earth to be at
your side. As for Aurelio, for what he had me do to you, I will rip him limb from limb as soon as
our paths cross once more and I dont give a damn what Lucius has to say on the matter. He may
not have the heart for it but it is now my fondest wish that Aurelio meet his death and I would
prefer that it be at my hand.
Satisfied that Lucania was truly back at last, I used my fingernail to open up the vein in my
wrist and I offered the blood up to him. Watching him drink from me for the first time since he
turned me, seeing the careful way that he sucked at my vein, was probably the most exciting
thing he had ever done to me and I wanted him to make love to me immediately. However, our
friends were gathered around outside the door waiting for us to finish so when he felt like he had
enough to give him the strength to hunt, he released me and into the hall we went. I am going
out to hunt with Arianne. When we return we shall all sit down and discuss everything that has
happened in my absence. Luke explained. Like two children set free we rushed into the night. It
wasnt to Ayr that we traveled but to a place that was further away than Kilas usual hunting
spot. Lukes instincts had not suffered a bit from his time inside his mind as he sought out a
secret tavern that held some of the most impure souls I had ever seen. As we drained the blood
from everyone in this demented establishment, I felt free. I felt blissfully alive!
On the way back Luke suddenly stopped at a spot in the woods. Facing me, he smiled a
beautiful smile, the one I feared I would never see again, and I couldnt help but kiss him. I saw
your reaction earlier when I drank from you. He said softly, kissing gently the spot that was
opened to quench his thirst. When he bit into my flesh I urged him on. I was tingling all over at
the sight of it, the feel of it. Bringing me down to the ground, he suddenly opened his own wrist
and he offered to me the bleeding wound. Greedily I drank from him as he had from me and
when he undressed me I knew that we were about to have the greatest experience of our lives.
There was no moment in my existence as thrilling as that first time when we made love as we
shared blood, sucking from one another, careful not to take too much or give too little.
I probably could have woken hibernating bears if it had been the right season with the
screams of passion I let out. All of the fear, the pain, the worry was fading with each thrust of
flesh and teeth. And when Luke was spent I wouldnt let him out of my arms. I needed to hold
him. I needed him to feel the way that I had ached for him while he was gone. Each night that
passed with no response from the other side of your door I died a little. I did everything, Lucania.
I did everything I could do to break it in, to get to you. At some point it stopped being a matter of
saving you and it became a matter of just seeing your face. Two months. That is how long I spent
separated from you by nothing more than a door and a spell and yet I might as well have been a
thousand miles away. It was then that I was able to let out every feeling I had held in throughout
the months of madness we had endured. The tears blinded me they were so thick and the force of
the sobs were nearly painful in my chest. Eventually he moved so he could take me in his arms
and when I clung to him I dug into his flesh so hard that I cut him. I needed to let this out but
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more importantly I needed to feel his hard body against mine to prove that this was not a product
of my sleeping mind.
We need to get back, little beauty. Our friends have much they need to discuss with me. I
heard little snippets of their conversations while I wasasleep. I know that they are dying to tell
me everything. It is rare these days to find an opportunity for six vampires to be in the same
place at the same time. We mustnt pass up this chance. Luke said softly as he wiped away all
traces of my tears.
I understood his sense of duty and the gravity of the situation with Aurelio yet I resented the
fact that a couple of hours were all I could have with him before reality called him away from
me. As we made our way back to Kilas house I had many thoughts in my head. Now that the
crises had passed I was able to see that in my immortal life I had made no plans for what I might
do if Luke were taken from me. It seemed impossible before but now I knew that our immortality
did not, in fact, guarantee eternal life. And what would I do if the night came when I had to face
the world alone? When we walked inside, the others were already gathered around discussing the
possibility that Lucius was the inspiration for Satan once more. Luke joined the conversation
immediately as if he had not begun the evening trapped between life and death. He and Kila were
talking about how perfect it was that the new religion had demonized the Pagans and nearly
wiped all real witches off the earth, the same people that Aurelio both envied and despised. She
talked of how Aurelio had reacted to the witch trials, how he tried to prevent her from interfering
magically on behalf of her brothers and sisters of the craft of the wise. He wanted them to burn,
she insisted, because they represented a force of power he wanted compete control over. It was a
force he felt humans had no right to possess. While all of this was important and I knew I should
sit and listen, I honestly did not give a damn about devils or crazy vampires. I had demons of my
own that seemed to have woken up when Lucanias eyes opened.
No one noticed when I walked out. Dawn was a few hours away and after my nights of
confinement and worry it felt good to simply wander around on my own. It wasnt the last two
months that weighed down my mind though. It was the thought that since I was turned I had
ceased to be a woman unto myself. It was easy to let Luke take the lead, to depend on him for
my happiness and my protection. But the threat of losing him made me realize that the woman
who made her way on her own in the streets of Paris had been lost and that I was only half of
what I could be in her absence. It wasnt that I wanted to leave Luke. I never wanted that. It was
simply that I knew at last how foolish I had been to sacrifice my strength in the face of
immortality when living forever demanded nothing less than that strength to survive.
Luke is looking for you. I know he hasnt strength to waste right now so I told him I would
come out and find you. Is all well? Angelus asked as he came up behind me a few miles from
the house.
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I turned around to face him with a fake smile on my face. Of course it is. So has anything
been decided concerning Aurelio?
Not really. Luke, Kila, and I have all made it clear that should we see him in our travels we
will do all we can to destroy him but out of respect for my maker, we are not going to hunt him.
The whole thing is foolish. Lucius doesnt even like him. He turned him because he decided he
wanted to try to get the Gods to take him back after he made me and he didnt want to leave me
alone. Because Aurelio was my mortal brother, Lucius assumed he would be the best companion
for me. It wasnt until he turned him that I found out about it and he soon realized he had made a
terrible mistake. My brother was born with darkness in his soul. The nature of the vampire
merely intensified the evil that was there all of his life.
So then what is the problem? Why does Lucius continue to protect him if this is true? I
cried out in frustration.
Angel began to walk and I followed along hoping to gain answers to what I saw as a great
mystery. I dont think it has anything to do with some battle between good and evil in order to
go back like Kila surmised though I do agree with her theory concerning my brother and the
religion that wiped out our old ways. I do think he took the story to Rome never realizing the
impact of it and I believe he used the new religion that formed to wipe out those who knew the
magic he wanted once he realized he could do it. But I am getting off topic. I believe that Lucius
keeps Aurelio alive because he remembers the pain he suffered when he heard that the girl he
turned before he met me had died and he fears that one day he will face that pain again through
my death. I believe Aurelio is meant to be a living link to me should I ever meet my doom. It is
as simple as that.
When I returned, I was informed that, barring any objection from me, Lucius was going to
take the rose so that the flower, Luke, and I would all be safe. I saw no reason to object. I knew
that Lucius would keep it safe and I knew that for the time being, it was best to have it out of our
possession. Another decision also had to be made concerning where Luke and I would go when
we left Scotland. The idea of returning to our Bohemian home seemed absurd. The illusion that
we had created concerning the perfection of our home was shattered, the last memories of it were
nothing short of horrendous, and starting over seemed like the only way to cleanse ourselves of
what we had endured. With that decided, Angelus, Lucius, and Drake went on to collect our
things so we would never have to look at the house again if that was what we wanted. But we
were also left in the same position we were in twenty years earlier.
As we lay in bed enjoying the feel of one another, Lucania said softly, There is a place in
the New World that we could go to. I have heard some vampires nickname it Little Paris
because they say it is so French that it belongs on this side of the ocean. In fact, it is a French
colony. It is not overrun by the English like all the rest. They call it Nouvelle-Orlans.
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New Orleans you say? Yes, that is certainly a product of French rule. But why are you
telling me this?
Rising up from his place on my chest, he kissed me. Because as much as I enjoy being your
protector, you have not been the Arianne I saw the night you returned to me since we left your
homeland. I know you are not ready to return to France but I thought if we went to this new
place and you had your language, your customs, and your people around you, I might see
evidence of the great woman you were in your eyes again. I want you to know that I am always
here to see you through but I also want you to spread your wings again with me at your side. I
just thought this might bring you back to yourself.
His words stunned me. Since my return to the house I hadnt thought on the things that had
filled up my mind as I walked alone yet his words mirrored them exactly. I took this as a sign
that the French colony he spoke of was the best place to go. I agreed when he suggested I go
alone to find a home for us there while he tied up loose ends. I hated to be away from him when I
had only just got him back but if this was meant to be a place for me to find the independent
spirit I had lost that seemed like the best way to begin. Kila gave me a charm for protection in
case Aurelio followed me and tried to do me harm along the way but I felt that with the anger I
had toward him, the charm wasnt needed. If he was foolish enough to follow me he would soon
see that I was not the weakling he had imagined. The fact that I had to travel to France to catch a
ship out wasnt ideal but even that did not detract from the excitement I felt over the journey.

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Chapter 9
Because I had not traveled by ship since I was turned I received from Luke and Kila all of
the tips they had to offer and I carried the advice with me into France. I had to find a coffin
maker and bring a coffin on the ship pretending that I was a servant charged with bringing it to
the colony for my masters family. Once this task was completed I booked my passage. The idea
of spending months feeding again from rats was a bit unsavory so I took the time to hunt
thoroughly from the city I was in the night before my departure. I feasted as I had never done
before. I had no one to chastise me for it and I would probably go centuries without seeing the
small seaside village again if I ever saw it again at all. So with a combination of the Little Drink
and murder I satisfied my blood lust to the best of my ability until I felt as if my body could hold
no more and then I slept that day in the coffin I had purchased dreaming of the new life I wanted
to shape for myself.
I absolutely hated the journey across the ocean. Feasting on rats was bad enough but a
combination of sleeping in a coffin night after night and enduring the company of rich, irritating
humans compounded my misery. If the crowd on that ship was anything to go on, I expected I
would soon find myself traveling away from New Orleans even if it meant traveling into
colonies full of the cold descendants of Puritans. However, as I got to know the stories of those I
shared a ship with I was informed that many of them were not staying in New Orleans longer
than a night. It seemed that they were bound for a place in what they called the Caribbean, a city
they called Santo Domingo. Many of them were going in hopes that they might be able to use
their considerable wealth to buy up plantations, homes and land that they described to me, along
with slaves. I knew what African slaves were, of course, and I knew that once they had helped
rebuild the city of London but the practice quickly fell out of favor in Europe and I had never
seen it in my lifetime. I was glad that these people were not headed to New Orleans and I thought
that the atrocity of slavery was not a part of this new colonys make up. No one said anything
one way or the other on it. No, of the city I was going to I heard only objections to its wild
nature, its wild people, and its complete lack of a moral code. At all of this I smiled in delight.
No wonder they call it Little Paris, I mused, more prepared than ever to call it home.
The ship docked in the New World before dusk and as a result I was placed inside the coffin
along the shore. When I arose that evening it was the misfortune of one crew member that he
was standing beside of the wooden prison watching wide-eyed as I climbed out. I knew that there
were vampires who could erase a human memory of an event through glamouring but I myself
had only used this skill on someone I was about to murder and I could not afford to be mistaken
as to whether or not I was successful. I had to kill the man, unfortunately, but I thoroughly
enjoyed the blood after so long without the taste of a human and while it wasnt the greatest way
to begin in my new home, it wasnt the worst either. At least there was only one who saw me.
Wiping out the entire ship would have been quite suspicious indeed.
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Grabbing the bag of clothes I kept in the coffin throughout the voyage, I went on my way
taking in that first sight of the small burgeoning city. It was clear at first glance that the place
was far more primitive than any city in Europe. I could not find a single house or building that
was made from stone. There were no cobblestone roads or grand cathedrals. It was a city unlike
any I had seen in my life but I could imagine that if I had been born three hundred years earlier it
would look like most of the cities in France had looked. Just as Luke said, everyone around me
was speaking my native tongue. I smiled bright as the first sounds of the passing humans caught
my ear. Because it was a port town that was surrounded on three sides by water, the place was
bustling in a way that I figured it would not be if it were further from the water. As I got into the
area that was clearly the center of the town I realized that there were men there from all over
Europe and again I was grateful to my beloved father for the fact that I could speak almost every
language of the continent. I wanted to simply stand there for a while on the wooden sidewalk of
sorts and watch the people go by but I was afraid that this would draw attention to me so I soon
gave it up to enter the first tavern I saw.
In those days, even in this fledgling city, taverns were the center of the world in a town. One
could get a feel of the place sitting there but more importantly, one could find out where any
places were available to rent or purchase. If I had to have a place built up from scratch I needed
to know as soon as possible so I could make arrangements for this. I didnt want to spend a
moment longer in a rented room than I had to, not in an unfamiliar place where I was alone.
Anyone could come in and disturb me during the daylight hours, ending my life in the process.
Putting on the air of a delicate flower, I went into a place full of raucous, dangerous men and I
smiled to myself when their malevolent intentions slammed my brain as loud as if they had all
voiced their desires at once. With my head down, I walked up to the bar and I kept the joy out of
my voice as I asked the man serving drinks about lodging after I wove a story about being
recently married and being there on behalf of my husband to find a home. This man was kind at
heart and he offered to put me up after he voiced his disbelief that any gentleman would send his
young wife alone for such a task. As he showed me to my room, he promised to ask around
about available options for a permanent residence and then he asked if I could shoot a gun. I lied
and told him I could and before he left me outside my door, he handed me a pistol he had in the
side of his pants telling me that if anyone tried to open my door I was to shoot first and ask
questions later.
Leaving the pistol on the bedside stand, I snuck out of the tavern to do a bit of exploring.
Though there appeared to be but one church, I found three more taverns all on the same strip of
road where the first tavern I went to was located. Going into the first one I came to after that, I
found it much louder and far more alive than the other. I sat with a glass of whiskey for no more
than five minutes before I was propositioned for sex. Two more men came up to me for this
purpose within ten minutes of that. I soon realized that the reason everyone thought I was a
prostitute was because this new town was not a place that families usually settled in and most of
the women who had come were ladies of the night. However, once the men in the establishment
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realized I was not there for that purpose, I found them as easy to talk to as the men who once
came into Madames place in Paris. Because I was posing as a married woman looking to settle
there with my husband, I was soon told all about the history of the place. Apparently it was
named for the man who once brought my beloved Louiss young king son to see Etienne at the
theater. It was inhabited by people referred to by the men as Indians and when I asked them
how people from India managed to colonize the land when I had not heard of Indian ships
coming to the New World, they laughed at me. They then explained the history of the name and
the explorer from Italy who was credited with discovering this part of the world. I had heard of
him and I knew of his role in taming the new world but I had studied little beyond that because
never in my dreams did I think I would venture so far from my home.
Unlike typical cities all over Europe, this place did not have an equal combination of
people who were good and bad. It also did not have a population that tipped the scale toward
good. No, this place was in the hands of criminals for the most part. I loved that. Not only did it
make me happy as a vampire, it suited my personality and my purpose for coming. I got on well
with the men around me and as they told me about the town, one man told me about a place that
had recently been abandoned by a man who could not take the atmosphere. It seemed the man
had come to New Orleans with the intention of having a theater and bringing culture to the place
but he declared it impossible to bring anything but liquor and whores to the men he found and
just six months after opening the doors, he shut it down and returned to Paris. I dont know your
situation but if you have the money you can turn it into anything you like. A tavern, a home, a
tailors shopdont bother with a dress shop, though. You are likely to go bankrupt in no time if
you specialize in that alone. Hes selling it for peanuts just to be rid of it. Can you believe that?
Imagine not liking company as fine as ours! The man declared with a hearty laugh. This same
man had told me outright that he had come as a galley slave that was thrown off the ship after he
threatened to rape the captain of the vessel and nearly succeeded.
Dawn was a little more than an hour off and the place we had spent the night in was closing
up for a few hours so when I mentioned seeing the place the following night I did not expect the
man telling me of it to declare, To hell with tomorrow! In this village you cant be sure that we
will all live that long. Lets go and take a look at it now. Youll find the windows have been
busted, the door stands wide open, and the shutters that were once hung up nicely are gone. But
there is real potential there. I would buy it myself but being a thief in this place pays shit. I made
more rowing that fucking ship, Im sure.
The fact that galley slaves made nothing proved that his situation was indeed dire. However,
I had no reason to fear him or any of his friends that went with us to the end of the street where
the building in question was located. My new friend was quite accurate in his description of it.
The former theater had been properly ransacked to be sure. There was no glass left in any of the
windows facing the street, the shutters were hanging from their hinges, and the door was
standing wide open just as he said it would be. When we went inside I could clearly see that
steps had been taken out of the stairs that led down to the actual theater, many of the chairs were
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missing as if they had been torn from their places, and the stage was in need of repair. Actually,
for safety purposes, it really needed to be torn out and replaced altogether. When I asked about
the destruction, I learned that men around town had come in and taken wood as they needed it to
build things without paying for the supplies. I knew if I bought this place I would need to return
to Europe in order to talk to Luke and bring back the start of what we would need to fix it up. I
knew that it would probably be best if I waited for something better, something more practical.
But as I stood there looking at that damaged stage I was imagining the place as it could be. I
could almost smell the greasepaint and feel the excitement that would buzz all around on
opening night. I knew I couldnt walk away from this place. I had to have it.
I want it but Ill have to travel back to France to get supplies and to fetch my husband. I
also have to find the man who owns it so I can make the deal with him. I could be gone a month.
Whos to say the building will still be here a month from now? Look at what youve all done to it
already.
The man that owns the place youre boarding at? Hell tell you what you need to know of
the man who owns your building. But I cant guarantee anything where the building itself is
concerned. Youre right to wonder about it. It could be burned to the ground or stripped of
anything useful when you return. But if you have enough money to want that place, you have
enough to rebuild it. At least youll have the land. Seems to me that you have a desire to take a
risk, being in a place like this looking to settle down. Whats one more risk added on?
The man had a point. Before parting ways he told me his name was Peter and he was a native
of Londons dodgy end. He also assured me that if I bought the theater, he would offer his
assistance with anything I needed when I returned so long as it in no way interfered with
whatever he was up to at that time. He even insisted we shake on his promise. Peter was a
strange man but I had to admit that I rather enjoyed his company. Back in my room at the tavern
I made sure the shutters were closed, I put the flimsy lock in place on the door, and I pulled the
bed curtains tight hoping I would awake the next night without incident. It was then, as I lay
there alone without the excitement of this unruly town around me, that my heart began to ache
for Luke. So long as Peter was correct about the tavern owner knowing the information on the
man who owned the building, I could go back to France on the next ship out. If my luck held, I
would be able to find a ship sailing closer to Scotland so I could reunite with Luke before
looking up the owner. Either way, I would soon have him at my side once more.
Someone was in the room with me. My instincts told me it was evening but they also told
me that the intruder was a vampire. Fearing the worst, I came out of the bed at an incredible
speed, pinning the vampire up against the wall intending to rip off his head if it turned out to be
Aurelio. When my eyes focused in the pitch black of the room, I was thrilled and rather surprised
to see Luke. He was smiling despite the assault I had committed against him and at once I
loosened the grip I had on his throat, throwing my arms around him instead. I see I neednt
worry about your ability to take care of yourself. Your reaction was absolutely incredible. It was
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exactly what I would expect from my fledgling. Your timing was perfect as well. I was in the
room for less than two minutes before you came at me. Well done.
Looking up at him, I said, You can stop with the fatherly pride bit at any time unless you
intend to turn me against any sort of love making with you for the rest of eternity. What the hell
are you doing here?
Laughing, he released me. That wasnt quite the reaction I was hoping for but Ive come to
take you back. I apologize for sending you to this place. I had no idea it was so bad. Angelus had
a proper fit when I told him where you had gone, telling me horror stories that might have
appealed to the darkest side of my nature had I not just sent you here. I am glad that you are
alright and I have found a place that might suite our needs in Venice
No. I am not leaving and we are not settling in Italy. I have already found a place for us
here and no matter how many horror stories Angel told you, I promise you will love this place.
He is right. It is absolute bedlam in this town. And I love it. We have an interesting mix of
criminals to feed from and criminals to befriend. If Paris had no police, no palace watching over
it, this is what it would be. It is a vampires paradise, Lucania! You told me to choose and I have.
Were staying. I replied, determined to put my foot down on the issue.
Smiling his most charming smile, he kissed my forehead. It sounds as if you have made up
your mind and it looks as if this insane town has put that spark back in your eyes that I missed so
much. How could I say anything against your plan? So where is this place you spoke of for us? It
cant be far. It seems as if this area is the center of the world here.
Breaking away from his recent embrace, I changed my clothes while I repeated everything I
had learned about the little city named for the Duke of Orleans who once ruled in place of
Louiss precious child. It is. People from all over Europe are here. Anyone who comes with
good intentions seems to leave within months, families rarely stay, and there seems to be no
enforcement of laws here. I believe there is a jail but from the time I spent talking to the people
off the streets I cant conjure up in my mind the gravity of the crimes someone must commit to
be arrested. I am actually quite surprised that there arent more vampires here. Oh, and Peter was
telling me about natives that live just outside the cityIndians they are called though I cant
understand whyand I would love to see them. I remember Mother telling me once to avoid
Gypsies in places like Romania because they have incredible instincts and they know a vampire
when they see one. Do you suppose the natives are like that as well? Perhaps it is best if we
dont
Luke grabbed me by the shoulders to stop my babbling. I smiled because he looked
genuinely enthused by my excitement. We have plenty of time to go over everything, to explore
the area, to do whatever makes you happy. But first I would like to see the place you mentioned.
Turn around and I will lace up your fine dress so we can go.
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Doing what he said, I couldnt help but sink a little bit against him at the feeling of his
fingers against my back. I was so happy that he was there. I felt as if the city belonged to me and
I couldnt wait to share it with him. I only hoped that he wouldnt have an objection to running a
theater. It was a great business for a vampire as far as I could see. Actors without slave drivers
for teachers slept all day. We worked the night away. Sometimes when I was on the stage,
between rehearsal all day in the theater and working all night I went weeks without seeing
daylight for more than a few minutes. I was prepared to explain all of this to him if he objected
but as we walked on the muddy wooden planks that separated us from the very muddy street
hand in hand, he commented to the effect that no matter what he would support whatever choice
I had made. However, his hand squeezed mine when he saw the building before him. A
theater? He asked softly.
Yes. Now, I know it looks bad right now but think about the way it will be after we restore
it. I dont want to do this the way we did it with the Bohemian house. I know exactly what a
theater needs both practically and aesthetically. I did not spend years of my life dealing with
Etienne to walk away with no lessons learned. We ran the most famous theater in Paris together.
Surely I can make this work. Come. You must see the inside. I declared as I pulled him through
the open door. Taking him down into the auditorium I told him all of the plans I had for it and
the idea I was working on when I fell asleep that morning of bringing actors who are good but
not yet great enough for lead roles from Paris when we went to find the man who owned the
building. After showing him the whole place including the masters quarters that made up the
entire top floor, I finally asked what he thought.
Do you intend to take the stage yourself, little beauty? He asked.
No. I will never entertain the idea of acting again. That dream has come and gone. I want
only to work as an owner and a teacher. I replied honestly ignoring the small pain in my heart at
my own words. Yes, I missed it, the life of a celebrated lead actress. But for eternal life I paid the
price of losing the chance to claim it again forever.
I like the idea. In all of my years on this earth, this is something I have never tried before.
But I dont understand how you expect to get ruffians to come and watch a Sunday matine.
To start out with, I will show burlesque style shows. They are a huge hit with the common
person, believe me, though I was never fond of them as I was of serious theater. Because the
majority of the people are French they will appreciate the shows and because every nation in
Europe has an upper class that commoners tend to despise, they should become popular with
people of other countries as well. In time I hope that we might help refine the town a bit. I mean,
look around you, Lucania! There are incredible possibilities not just for this building but for this
entire place! It is like a human teenager looking for its identity and we can help shape it into a
place that is wild yet cultured, a place where artists of all kinds may come and flourish while
their creativity is free to run wild. Just think of it!
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We had come full circle in the building and we were again at the front door when he sat
down suddenly. Of course I sat down beside of him and I feared that he was going to tell me I
was foolish for believing a vampire could do what I was suggesting we try to do. But I did notice
that he was looking around at his surroundings, taking in the sights on both sides of the street.
Finally, he said, You realize that if we do this we cannot stay here more than a decade no matter
how well it works or how much you want to remain here. What you are talking about with the
theater alone is a very public endeavor that will put you in the middle of this uncivilized society.
Should you succeed here and go through with your ideas for the town, everyone will know who
we are. So I think it is a great plan, something I never would have thought of on my own. I even
think we might be able to talk Angelus into coming for a little while and helping us with it all.
But you have to be prepared to do all of this work, to put all of that energy into a place full of
humans that would toss you into the sun if they knew who you really were. You have to
constantly remind yourself that no matter what you do here, it is their town, not yours. Can you
accept that?
I knew he was right and I considered this truth carefully before responding with, Can we
keep any property we acquire after we leave using false names to lease them out? Can we return
now and then to check on the citys progress?
I see no reason why we couldnt. It is what Ive done with the house where I met you for
four centuries. No one has ever caught on. He answered.
Then I promise I will leave in a decade no matter what if you stand beside of me and do
this thing with me.
Putting his arm around me, he kissed me gently. His strength was fully restored to him and
there were no traces left of the living corpse he had become under Aurelios wicked spell. It
seemed that we were free to put all of that behind us, that we could relieve ourselves of vampire
politics and lore that often troubled me. For the first time since he turned me, I felt as if he and I
were free to carve a path of our own. And I had never been happier as we sat in our warm
embrace and watched the convicts and the madmen mill about around us from the doorway of
our fresh start.

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Part 4:
Rebirth
Chapter 1
Luke got all of the information on the man who owned our building along with a proper
tongue lashing from the tavern owner who refused to charge me for room and board. Luke put on
the appearance of a husband completely ashamed that he had sent his young wife to such a place
alone, claiming, not so falsely, that he had no idea of the citys reputation and that he had
followed me as soon as he learned the truth. The tavern owner, whose name was Acel, even
pleaded with Luke to take me back to Europe or to buy a piece of land outside of the city where
prominent French families were starting to set up the first plantations in the area but Luke
weaved a story about promising me anything I wanted in return for taking me so far from my
father and in the end, Acel, against his better judgment he declared, gave us the name and the
address in Paris where we could find the man we sought.
While touring the building with Luke I had noticed a basement that had one of the best
foundations I had seen in the area and I went back to investigate it as Luke went to the shore to
arrange passage back to France. It was big enough to make our home, I could find no structural
problems, and there were, of course, no windows in it. A proper floor would have to be laid and
the one huge space would need to be sectioned off into rooms but it seemed perfect to use that
for us while offering out the rooms on the top floor to actors. Back at the tavern Luke and I sat
making a list of supplies we would need to order. He had taken measurements where it was
needed and he was adding up the proper amount of things as I was listing them off. After he gave
me an estimation of what it was going to cost to simply get started I had another idea. While we
are working on the theater I should make clothes. I made beautiful gowns with Madame in Paris
before my theater career took off. This place doesnt seem to have a tailor that is capable of
doing anything beyond the most basic garments. If we hope to lure fine people here, we must be
able to outfit them accordingly. In addition to this, we cant spend such a fortune without
replacing a penny of it unless our goal is to go broke inside a year here.
He laughed at me. Arianne, my love, I assure you that we shall never be broke. We are
vampires, you know. Ive spent three thousand years killing and some of my victims netted me a
great fortune thanks to forged wills or old fashioned robbery. Should we ever need money, you
will not have to work for it. I will simply go to Europe and hunt among society.
I had never asked where his seemingly limitless funds came from and his explanation was
the only one that made perfect sense. Still, the idea of killing for money as opposed to killing for
blood alone seemed crass to me and almost distasteful. Softly, I replied, Even so, fine clothes
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are still needed around here. And with the decision made in my mind, I added the supplies I
would need to make the things to the list in his hand.
The following night the two of us went out to catch our ship. Luke was quite upset that I
hadnt kept the coffin I sailed in and he complained at great length about the primitive box we
had to travel in as well as the trouble it took him to steal it from a man who made furniture in the
town when he came but who primarily made coffins now because he soon discovered that more
men needed them than chairs or tables. I paid no attention to his complaints. My mind was too
full of the vision that was growing by the minuet in my head. I couldnt wait to get back to our
little place and I think I missed New Orleans even before the ships anchor was up.
The journey back to France was more pleasant than the one coming to New Orleans because
I had Luke with me to talk the nights away. And talk we did. By the time we docked, his plans
had grown as large as my own. The first step was to finish the theater and to buy up some plots
of land in the surrounding blocks and then we would think of a library, a dress shop, perhaps
even a school. Angels help was certainly going to be needed. Kilas would be ideal though
neither of us thought she would ever come. Once the worst of the worst in the city had been
cleared out, a notice could be taken out all over France inviting people over and though we
couldnt stay in the city forever, the legacy of its vampire past might remain with it long into the
future among our kind. Grand plans indeed. And practically impossible in so many ways. But the
spirit of hope, the concept that we might create a place to belong, was too large to try to stuff it
down again when we arrived in Paris to gather what we needed.
We stayed in the city I had long avoided for two weeks spreading the word about the place
across the ocean. I knew the districts to take my ideas to, the people to talk to. All traces of
Madame and Mademoiselle were gone, both women now dead, and that was my painful
reminder of the life I had lived. Pierre was long gone as well but his theater remained even if it
was now in the hands of a man who knew nothing about the old soul whose name remained on
the theaters sign. I hung around outside of the place talking to the understudies long past closing
time while Luke made all of the arrangements for our supplies. When we sailed once more, I was
confident that by the time the theater was ready to open half of the troupe working at Pierres
Playhouse would be bound for New Orleans themselves. The pain that I carried with me as a
result of seeing the city I once loved so much changed, as cities are bound to be, by the hands of
time, knowing that all those I once loved in Paris were dead, and realizing that I could never
again imagine that it was all the same just fueled my fire where New Orleans was concerned. I
could not stop the hands of time from taking those who would be my friends there or from
destroying places I might come to love but if we bought up enough of the city, I could make sure
that a few places remained the same forever.
Once we were back in the town, construction began immediately on our basement
apartment. I had drawn up my vision for it and the work on it was done day and night with me
supervising everything between dusk and dawn. Lucania and I hated the vulnerability of staying
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in a tavern room but we did make some wonderful friends there and Luke often played cards
with residents and sailors alike while I was bossing criminals around over construction. Peter
was heading the crew of convicts and he and I often clashed only to be the best of pals again by
dawn. The apartment was finished in half the time and at half the cost that we expected so we
kept the crew on for the rest of the repairs putting Peter in charge of hiring the additional men
needed for the reconstruction of the huge building above us. A thick metal door with magic locks
sent to us with our boxes from Kila made us feel protected despite the place being full of mortals
all day long and no one in this strange place questioned the way we slept because most of them
kept to similar schedules. Rumors were starting to spread concerning the two of us but they were
centered on Lucania being a famous thief from Spain who had murdered a wealthy nobleman
and made off with all his gold. This added to the adventure for us and as neither of us said
anything to refute the rumors, it also earned us a strange respect from our neighbors.
After our apartment was finished, Luke and I started patrolling the city to hunt. We had
already talked about the sort of victims we would hunt here. If we stuck to hunting all evil-doers
we would soon find ourselves in a ghost town so we decided to hunt only those who hurt others
with purely malicious intent. If two rogues wanted to shoot one another in a duel, who were we
to hunt the victor, for instance? However, if a man murdered a young girl simply to get out of
paying her for her services, something that happened often all over the town in those days, he
needed to be handled before he killed all of her friends as well. And in this way we became the
law of the land. In the cities of Europe the populations were large enough, the police at least
sufficient enough, to prevent any permanent damage to a place at the hands of murderers but in
the New Orleans of that time, one psychopathic human could have undone the entire fabric of the
place so for the first time in my existence, our vampire nature was actually a true asset to the
people around us. Often we hunted the shoreline catching the worst of the people shortly after
they stepped off the ships that carried them in. It was in this way that I first caught glimpses of
African slaves or slaves of African descent.
I was absolutely appalled to learn that as I slept during the day human beings were being
sold like livestock, often right alongside livestock actually, in the town square and that the new
plantations coming up outside the city were worked by these people. My disgust was only made
greater by the fact that it was the French who were buying and using slaves. My people had long
considered themselves the experts on civilized culture in Europe and here they were coming
across the ocean and committing the most repulsive crimes against their fellow man. I suggested,
and rightfully so I believe, that Luke and I eliminate this problem by killing off anyone who
dared buy slaves but he cut down the idea swiftly while giving me a bullshit history lesson on the
evolution of slavery as if the fact that it had been done all over the world for thousands of years
made it alright. He assured me it would end eventually but that, as vampires, it was not our
business to meddle in this issue. If I had known it would take one hundred and twenty years for it
to stop, I would not have listened. However, I believed him when he told me it would soon end
and I foolishly went back to patrolling the shores for murderers.
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As I had hoped, people started coming off the ships from Paris looking for theater work
before the theater was even completed. I did not recognize many of them but they sought us out
as I supervised renovations or decorated the theater itself. Most of them were actors who had
heard of the city and its up and coming stage through word of mouth gossip in Paris. A couple of
them were stagehands. Often they jumped right in helping with the place to earn money until it
opened. I enjoyed their company, these fresh faced youths who had the passion of the actor in
their eyes. Had I appeared this way once, I often wondered. I couldnt say. But I admired their
courage. It took a great deal to get on a ship and leave behind everything for an opportunity,
especially knowing that they could never make as much here as they could back in France. But
as much as I enjoyed them, they were also a painful reminder of all I had once left behind. They
knew that I had been one of them once but of course I couldnt tell them the truth of my career or
the stages I acted on. I actually pretended to be my own daughter and as I talked of all I had done
pretending to speak of my mothers accomplishments I found that not only had my legacy
survived, Etiennes had as well. He was more a hero to these kids than a human being. I was sure
that his ego would have been monumentally pleased with that.
The closer we came to being finished with the work on the theater the more I found myself
thinking of my old friend. I would often catch myself pondering his opinion on something I had
done and if I thought he might argue my choice, it produced a smile as if he were physically
there arguing the point himself. I did not welcome this. If anything, the ache that came each time
I caught myself having a silent dispute of this nature served as a reminder of why I had cut
myself off so completely from my mortal existence once it had ended. There was no point in
looking back when even the abilities of a vampire did not include turning a ghost to flesh once
more. Yet the night that we all stood outside marveling at the beautiful place we had finished at
last, I had to walk away while the others celebrated. For a brief moment I had felt Etienne at my
side as if I had lost him a day ago as opposed to over two decades passing. I couldnt let the
others see my wretched tears and I could not stand the thought of Lukes comfort on this matter.
What is it, little beauty? Are you weeping? Come now, whats wrong? Luke asked as he turned
me around and enfolded me in his embrace.
Etienne would hate this place. He would say that its too feminine, too ordinary. He would
say that the curtains in the windows were more suitable for a whore house and that the marble
angels at the entrance of the auditorium were too aristocratic for any common person to tolerate.
When I dreamed this place up I was thinking only that I had done all of this before and that
meant I could do it again. But I forgot that I had never done it alone. He was the practical one,
the task master. He rode everybodys asses and everyone feared his temper. He was a bastard.
But he was an efficient bastard. What if I cant do this alone? I cried out as I looked up,
forgetting for a moment that I was saying all of this to my lover.
He smiled sympathetically and I was relieved that he took no offense to all that I had just
said. Wiping my bloody tears away, he kissed me on each cheek. You are not alone, my girl. I
can be a bastard if you want or I can simply stand back and allow you to be the task master as I
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rebuild the confidence you tear down. I can hire the best managers to help you. Whatever you
need from me, I will get it for you. You can make your old teacher proud. I know it. I smiled
and nodded though my heart was still full of doubt and when it was time to name the place I
honored my old stage by calling it Comdie d'Orlans. Again, I imagined Etienne bitching,
telling me that I was making him sick with my blue-blooded choices for my criminal patrons, but
I only waved away the voice of my long-dead teacher.
Perhaps because so many in the town had helped with the rebuilding, the theaters opening
night had become a highly anticipated event. And because I had been out of the business for so
long, I had to make a trip back to Paris, this time alone, to pick up scripts for the latest shows in
order to choose what we would do. As I had already told Luke, Burlesque was the best way to
start until I got a feel for the crowd and that was what I picked up along with timeless classic
dramas that I would do later. The small group of actors to choose from made casting easy and,
although my little group did not have any Mademoiselle De Lormes or Etienne Baptistes among
them, there was enough talent to pull off a decent final rehearsal before the show. Lucania was a
great coach for the actors as I worked with the actresses and I was confident that opening night
would go well. But I never anticipated the crowd that came out that night. Every local in the area
was there to support us and when the curtain came up I was behind the stage barring my lead
actress from looking out with the spirit of Mademoiselle at my side.
That morning after the night of triumphant celebration I wept as I lay in Lukes arms. This
is not supposed to feel like this! Everything was a success. I should be thrilled right now. I would
have never opened this goddamned place if I knew it was going to be torture! I cried out,
feeling as if he should have warned me against getting this close to my past when he realized
what I meant to do.
It wont be like this forever. Soon the night will come when you go on the stage to teach
and you see only your stage with your students before you instead of imagining yourself before
your teachers. This pain will pass. You couldnt hide from it forever, my girl. As vampires there
is nothing that we can hide from forever except death if we are lucky. Now go to sleep. You have
another long night ahead of you.
But he was wrong. Instead of fading, the pain seemed to get worse with each performance
and when some of the locals along with a few of the new couples who had recently settled
requested a performance of Hamlet for the Christmas season seven months after we opened, I
thought that the ache was too great for me to continue running the place. I seriously considered
selling the place and abandoning all plans I had for New Orleans to go back to Europe at one
point before someone came that changed everything. Angelus had hinted at making the journey
to see what the hell we were up to the entire year that we had been there but no real plans had
been mentioned to me. So imagine my surprise when he barged in to the apartment I shared with
Luke as I sat there for the third night in a row refusing to do my job in favor of being alone and
feeling sorry for myself. I couldnt believe it but its true. You look every bit as pathetic as
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Luke said you were. Im disgusted with you, Arianne. When I saw you last you were ready to
burn alive the craziest vampire on earth. Now here you sit defeated by ghosts. And not even the
ghosts of enemies either. I mean, they are not malicious or cruel, your ghosts. Nope. Just
memories of old friends. Absolutely pathetic you are right now. Get the hell up.
And just where the hell do you think we are going? I questioned.
Because I did not move when he said and Angel was rather used to getting his way, he
pulled me up by my arm and looked me over saying as serious as could be. We are going to
hunt. You look positively ghastly. I was actually afraid of you for a moment when I walked in
and I am a vampire. It is bad enough that you refuse to work in this place you spent a small
fortune building, but to stop feeding as well? You are as pale as death, your cheeks are hollow,
and your eyes look insaneI have seen drug addicted prostitutes look more put together than
you do in this moment. Like hell will I allow such a creature to represent our kind in this city of
yours. Put a shawl over your head or something. Its raining outside and I dont want you scaring
the people between here and the docks.
I was about to call him every form of bastard in the book until I snuck a look in the mirror
and everything he said was irrefutably backed up by my reflection. Three nights without feeding
and I looked worse than Luke did after two months of starvation. I wouldnt give Angel the
satisfaction of hearing me admit he was right on, well, everything he had just said to me but I did
put a shawl over my head as he suggested and I followed him without argument into the cold and
rainy night. We did very little talking as we headed toward the best hunting spot in the city. In
fact, all of the talking was one sided. I needed blood and until I had it, I really had no desire to
have Angel pick my mind to pieces as he was trying to do. My annoyance by his presence in that
moment combined with starvation and I picked off three wretched souls standing around the
docks as soon as I could reach them, using vampire speed to get to them because I was too
impatient to move as a human. The thick liquid with its taste of iron was like an elixir of life
sliding down my throat. For a moment as I drained the second man I found myself thinking This
is truly everything. The thought worried me as it was reminiscent of my first nights as a
vampire, the dark nights of my soul. So I kept my mind clear of everything save for my third
victims own thoughts as I drained him. And when I was finished, I smiled at Angel as I threw
my shawl off of my head. I was warm, alive with the blood, my senses keen once more.
When he spotted his own marked victim of the night, I politely turned around so I could
watch for anyone passing and so he could feed in private. We had already disposed of the bodies
I created that night as it was necessary to do so in a place as small as New Orleans. Bodies were
noticed in that town even if the puncture wounds were covered and even if such a crime could
not be traced back to the creatures running the new theater, it was best to eliminate any chance of
discovery at all. Tossing the bodies in the river was another positive aspect of hunting that area
and as I heard the small sound of a body being slid as gently as possible into the water at my
side, I turned toward my friend once more. Without a glance back he walked and I was
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immediately at his side. So you refused to feed. Thats clear. Why? You know you cant die that
way. If the mess with Aurelio taught you anything, I would think it would have been that.
I wasnt trying to die. I simply did not feel like feeding. I replied. How could I explain
that I did something as human as refuse nourishment over depression? It sounded foolish inside
my mind. I could only imagine how it would sound out loud.
Oh yes. The way you just attacked those three fellows back there as if you were a starving
child invited to a banquet proved that point nicely. Ive read Lukes letters to me, the things
youve said to him and his own observations on the matter, and I must confess that I am very
confused by all of this. Perhaps if I saw all of this in others of our kind I could understand it.
Maybe I hold you to a higher standard. But I have to say, Im especially disappointed that this is
coming from you because in all of my years on this earth you are the only sane vampire Ive ever
known who never looked back at her mortal life with regret, who never looked upon the taking
of a human life with intense guilt. It isnt that you lack respect for the act of killing. You simply
dont despise yourself or your nature because of it. Both that lack of regret and the lack of
remorse typically take centuries to achieve and you were born into darkness with them. So yes, I
have to admit, I never expected to receive word that you, out of everyone, had suddenly stopped
moving forward over things long passed.
First off, I am not feeling regret for whom or what I am. I am simply missing an old friend
who
Should be with you right now? That would be impossible unless he had not killed himself
and you had returned to change him after you were turned. If you think for one moment that you
couldve ever had Luke on one side of you while this Baptiste fellow stood on the other side,
think again. Lucania is a jealous bastard by nature. I shall bet when we return he will be pacing
outside waiting on us even
I did not say any of that! Etienne as a vampire? He would be as mad as Aurelio! I was
going to say a friend who was once my teacher and my partner in the theater! As far as me
feeling no remorse over taking human life, what has that to do with this and why should I feel it?
Is that why you think Ive gone without blood? If it is, you are quite mistaken. Humans believe
that human life is more precious than any other because they are the only predator thought to
have a higher form of intelligence, they have the power to aid one another, and they believe
themselves top of the food chain. Clearly, we know that they are not at the top of the food chain
nor are they the only predators with a higher level of intelligence. We can do things they cannot
imagine, not because they arent capable of things like magic or levitation but because they
believe they cannot do them. And vampires feel guilty because they are conflicted over the act of
feeding from a human while befriending other humans simply because the prey and the friends
are on the same level. I feel no such conflict. Humans do not feel guilt over eating a cow or a
chicken and then loving on the family dog even though both are animals, do they? They would
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never put such a conflict together inside their minds nor are they likely to eat the family dog. The
way I see it, there are humans who are cows or chickens and there are humans who are, to us,
like the family dog. I do not feel bad for making a meal of one and going home to pet the other,
so to speak. Now can we get back to the theater?
Why the rush? Have your Papuans not rehearsed enough, little one? Angel questioned
with a smirk.
Go to hell! You know exactly what I mean even if I did not articulate it with flair. I dont
have to. We are talking vampire to vampire. We both know that they are not on our level. We
may have started out like them but we are not like them now and we never will be again.
Weoh, to hell with this! I cried out when I realized he was laughing. I couldnt help but
chuckle a little bit myself. Cows and dogs? The worst part was that to me, and to Angel as well I
was sure, the analogy fit perfectly.
With one more vampire in town, more doors were opened to us in terms of what we could
all accomplish. We all developed a touch of insomnia in those first weeks together as we often
defied the heavy pull of sleep in the daylight hours to talk over plans and work over deals. The
theater was the only source of entertainment outside of the taverns and it continued to do well. I
often taught actresses and actors all night or I put everything together for a performance while
Lucania and Angelus scouted around buying up sections of land and talking at length over what
was needed to make the town a success as I gave my input without looking up from my sewing. I
began the clothing production on an order to order basis but as more people came in, the men
among me realized a proper shop was needed. This required the supplies to build and the proper
people to run the shop with a close eye kept on the operation by Angelus. Just as Kila had once
declared, he did have an eye for fashion and he was actually a great help in coming up with
ideas. Lucanias pet project was one that seemed highly unusual. He opened the first medical
clinic that also served, in the adjoining building, as a mortuary of sorts. The furniture man
continued to craft the coffins but it was because of Luke that funerals were held that were as fine
as possible considering the condition of the ground and the incredible amount of money a
monument like those often found in Les Innocents could cost. But Luke helped the people do the
best they could with what we all had to work with and it seemed that in this way he was truly
making peace with his role as an angel of death.
A city was fast taking shape in the madness around us. A bakery and caf was established, a
library, and yes, eventually, a very small school because, as Luke had once predicted, families
had begun to come and to actually stay. The only complaint I had was that the time passed too
quickly for me. Even now it seems as if I blinked and five years were gone. We had certainly
used our resources for the best and we had helped the humans of the town find a way out of the
hard lives they were in when we arrived. We could have left them all to their own devices after
that fifth year and all would have run smoothly without us. But I wasnt willing to give it up until
I had to. Yes, the place was more refined than it once was but it was still a wild paradise for any
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vampire. In fact, in time word of the place spread back home in Europe and creatures of the night
I had never met before made their way over to investigate it. Most were as pleased with it as we
were but there was one who came with the darkest of intentions, or so it seemed. So strong and
negative was his energy that the night he arrived I felt him all the way at the theater and I went at
once to the docks expecting to see Aurelio. What I found was Angelus and Lucania there already
arguing with a vampire who was clearly of native Indian descent though he did not look like the
Indians who lived near by the city.
You would not be here if he were not close by! Youve been thick as thieves since the
night Lucius turned you! He is going to die with or without your betrayal. What you need to ask
yourself is if you wish to die with him! After the horror you put Rapunzel through at his behest,
it is taking all of the willpower left in me not to rip your head off and set it on fire right this
instant! Angelus declared and as if he wished to demonstrate his ability to do so, he pulled the
shorter man by the hair and though the man tried to free himself, it was useless. He was
powerful, this strange vampire, and he was full of hatred for his opponent but even that could not
help him overpower one as strong as Angelus.
If he were with me it would take nothing to get me to betray him, I assure you! You have
no idea what hes done to your own progeny! While you have been here building up a place that
means nothing to you, he has been in France using that damned fool Jeremy to destroy the Irish
one
Ash? Angel questioned, fear in his voice though he never loosened his grip.
No, damn it, Mauras matehes gone mad because of the spell Aurelio gave that
blithering drunken moron you made and whats worse, Maura is gone. Jeremy used Kilas old
binding spell to take her which has only increased the spell on her mate. When I left the mad
vampire was collecting dead bodies in his room and everyone is avoiding him save for Olivia. I
am terrified he is going to kill her, Angelus! He has the power, the strength, to end her just as he
helped her come into both worlds. That is why Ive come for you! You must save them!
Why should I believe a word of this? Why would you care enough to come to me if it
were true? Angelus questioned but I could see that he believed him already. And while I did not
think this creature was trustworthy in general, I did believe him in this case. He was in love with
the one called Olivia. Angel saw the flash from his mind just as I did and at once he dropped the
stranger to the ground. You stay right here, Domingo! One move away from these docks and
Lucania will end you for good! I will be back in a half an hour at most. Do not let this ship sail
without us!
It was only as Angel ran away that he saw me standing there at last. All of this made no
sense to me. What surprised me even more was the depth of emotion I felt hearing that he was
going to go. He gestured for me to follow him and I did back to the apartment he had made for
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himself within the mortuary. As he packed I asked hopelessly, Must you go? Who are these
vampires that the stranger spoke of?
They are my children. Keenan, the one Domingo is calling the mad one, was my first
progeny. Maura I turned to save her life, a friendship that cost me dearly long before the change.
She is the true love of Keenan and the natural born aunt of Ash, another vampire of my making.
Olivia is my immortal granddaughter, raised from birth by Ash, Keenan, and Ashs true love
Angelique who is also minedont you see? This is my entire family in danger. Do you see why
I must go?
Yes. I whispered and I meant it but still, I could not stop the tears from coming. I shall
miss you. When will you be back?
Closing up his bag, my dear friend smiled at me. You wont be here much longer and my
job in this place is done. But Ill see you again. We couldnt hide from each other if we tried,
little sister.
Why do you call me that? I asked, hoping to bide a few moments more with him before
he left for what could be decades. He had given me this nickname shortly after he arrived in New
Orleans and while it rang true for the way the two of us had behaved with one another over the
last five years, I had always wondered why he picked it.
Because before you were Calliope you were my little sister, the small daughter of a
Senator, with the sweetest smile in all of Rome. If you read more of those old journals Lucania
wont part with, you would have known that years ago. Have fun, Arianne. And dont grow
morose. If you fake a bout of depression to get me to return I will only send Lucius in my place.
Trust me, you dont want that at all. With a kiss on my forehead and a quick wave goodbye, he
left me standing there wondering about everything that had just happened.
I was back at the theater when Lucania returned and immediately I excused myself from the
actors to talk to him about what I had witnessed. Who was that vampire? Where did he come
from? I questioned as soon as we were in our apartment.
His name is Domingo. He is one of Luciuss progenies, made when Lucius took a trip over
here on one of the first ships that ever came to South America. At first he was a kindhearted soul,
even after he was made, but in time he met up with Aurelio and he found that he respected
Aurelios unapologetic cruelty far more than the kindness of our maker. Hes been with Aurelio
ever sense. Youve met him before. Dont you remember? In the vampire city in London the day
that you got up while everyone was sleeping and you fed from that pimp?
Ah, yes! He was the bastard who attacked me. How could I have forgotten something like
that? I asked, disappointed in myself for doing just that.
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Theres more. While Domingo and I were waiting for Angel at the dock I learned a great
deal about things that happened in that twisted city before our arrival. Aurelio was there when
Mother first arrived. He was still there when I sent her the rose and I asked her to see what she
could discover about it. The two spent a great deal of time together and she told him about her
past with you, things he didnt know though in the early days of our immortal lives Aurelio did
spend a lot of time traveling with us. It is possible that Mothers intention to take you to Crete in
order to trap your soul was a product of Aurelios magic. There is no doubt that the spell she
planned to use was given to her by that bastard. I dont know why she said nothing about him
being there when we arrived, why she gave me no hint. That tells me that he was controlling her,
you see. She told him she felt us coming the night we arrived and he left, telling Domingo to stay
behind and watch us as long as we remained there. I thought the bastard found us by following
Kila when she came with the book but that wasnt the case at all. He had been stalking us from
afar since London. Knowing that I had to leave those I love behind because of something he did
infuriates me. But Mother had to have ill intentions to associate with him in the first place. She
knows who is and what he does.
I could see the confusion in Lukes eyes. I saw this information as a good thing, knowing
that Mother did not plan all of this from the moment she met me, that all of the tenderness she
showed me in the past wasnt false. But what great lengths Aurelio went to just to have that
damned thing! All of this for a rose. It seems absurd to me, even with the magic it contains.
His face was very serious as he shook his head to refute my words. Dont ever think hes
done all of this simply to get the flower. He did all of this to hurt me. He used Domingo to trap
Rapunzel a few centuries ago and they were going to kill her. They were planning to behead her
and set her body on fire in some ritual in a cemetery. There was no motive for that beyond
breaking Angels heart. Lucius and Mother had a falling out long ago over you and her
resentment toward us. She was planning revenge when I started following your soul after
Calliope died. Lucius said that as long as she carried that hatred for you when it was not justified,
he would stay in his corner of the world and he would not be with her. If she had not done what
she did in Greece, if she had not made her plans for you in Crete, and Lucius had learned that
you were immortal and the two of you were living side by side in peace he would have probably
come back for her. So Aurelio cast his fucking spells because that is the only weapon he has
against us and he made sure the two would not reconcile. If he knew about Cook and Cherise he
would probably seek to destroy that as well. Lucius, Angelus, Mother, Cook, and I banished him
from our clan. We cast him out because of his evil ways. And for that he feels we should know
no happiness. The rose is only an attractive addition to what he would gain if he destroyed our
love.
And that is why he is trying to destroy the family Angel made. It makes perfect sense. Now
that Domingo has abandoned him, the girlOliviashe is in real danger because Domingo
loves her as well, isnt she? I asked, realizing just how wide and how mad the plans Aurelio
made were.
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Indeed, she is. I offered to go along to help. If I am called upon in the nights to come to
assist them I will have to go. I nodded my understanding. Suddenly he smiled as if he had tired
of the dark conversation we were having. Lets go help our young Thespians prepare for their
show, shall we?

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Chapter 2
No one called for Lukes assistance and a few weeks after Angels departure he sent us word
that all was well but Aurelio had again escaped his brothers clutches before Angelus could make
it to Paris. Olivia had lived and she and Domingo were madly in love. But Keenan had to return
with Angel to the university he shared with Lucius in Rome because his sanity had so far refused
to be restored. In addition to this, Maura, Angels immortal daughter who had been kidnapped,
could not be found and though he believed she was still alive, he was unable to use the mental
bond between them to locate her. I pitied our friend the suffering he was enduring. Luke and I
assured him that if we heard or saw anything pertaining to the girl we would contact him but we
both felt the same way about it. If her own Maker couldnt locate her, it would be hard for
another vampire to track her. Only by chance, only if her abductor brought her around the right
vampire, would she ever be found.
In time everything in New Orleans settled into a new normalcy without Angel there. More
places were opened, more vile souls were taken out, and more shows were put on to entertain the
people. Again the time passed too quickly as time often does when were happy. But one night
an older man came into the theater that reminded me of the woman I had been and of the way
that my mortal life could still ruin everything. My god, you are the spitting image of your mum!
She is your mum, isnt she? Ophelia?
The Scottish accent and the eyes of a boy I once met on the street in the face of a man grown
old shocked me to the core. This was the young actor I had once promised to see when he made
it to a big stage, the one who had stopped me outside the theater in Glasgow years before. Yes.
I said softly, trying to hide all hints of recognition. If you mean Arianne, the woman who once
played Ophelia in Paris, she was my mother. She passed away some time ago. I had been
standing on the stage working with the lead actress when the man came in and as I finished this
sentence, I saw Luke coming toward us. Silently I told him to go, knowing that there was a
chance the man would recognize him and that there would be no solid explanation for who he
was and why he looked just like the man who was supposed to be my father when everyone in
town believed that he and I were married.
Extending his hand, the man smiled. Your mother changed my life. I saw her play Ophelia
once in Scotland and I saw her once more on the street just after she married your father. He was
there with her. I believe they were on holiday. She promised to come and see me if I ever
became a great actor but alas, she did not keep that promise. I did everything she said I one day
would but I never saw her beautiful face again. I am very sorry to hear that she is gone. She was
truly amazing. But I am sure you know that already. And how odd it is that you were the one
who bought my old theater! Fate is a strange thing!
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I tried to smile as he laughed but my heart was lodged in my throat. Youyou were the
man I bought this place from? I questioned.
Yes. I had purchased it when I retired from the stage myself but after a few months in this
place I was through with it. I cant believe the way things have progressed here! Quite a
transformation! Anyway, it was your brother who did the paperwork when I sold it to you. I
knew he had to be your fathers son as soon as he walked in. I cant believe he never mentioned
our conversation to you! I probably drove him crazy talking about your mother. Now that I know
about her death, I understand why he was quiet on the subject. Should I ever see him again, I will
be sure to apologize. Again, I had no idea. I couldnt believe he was a lawyerwith his mother
being a legend on the stage I suppose I assumed he would follow in her footsteps. I must say it
makes me happy to see that you chose a theater career. If your brother had told me that he was
purchasing the place for you, I would have come years ago to see what youve done with it. I
thought he was buying it to sell the land. I am happy now that I came back. Truly I am.
I led the man to the seats in the front row attempting to absorb all of this. Luke had seen this
man, he knew he was buying the place from him, and he didnt bother to mention any of this to
me? But then, why would he? Typically if a man is so unnerved by a place that he leaves within
six months, he doesnt return to see its progress. It is an honor to meet someone who was so
touched by my mothers work. I never saw her on a stage and she didnt talk about those days
often but my father kept papers that talked about her career and he sometimes told me stories he
knew of her acting. So how long do you plan to stay in this great town?
I needed him to tell me that this would be a short trip. Luke could be discreet for a few
nights and our lives would in no way be altered by this mans sudden appearance. So imagine
how my heart sank when he said, Ive actually come back to stay. I am sending for my wife as
soon as I am settled here along with our two youngest children. We have six but the rest are
grown, gone off to start lives of their own. Time certainly passes quickly in these short lives of
ours, doesnt it? I nodded politely and I tried so hard to smile but in that moment I hated the
man at my side. His presence there had just ruined absolutely everything I had spent nine years
working for and now I knew I had absolutely no choice but to leave the city just as I promised I
would when the time came. Are you well? You look so sad right now! Was it the talk of your
mother? I am heartily sorry if I caused you pain, dear. You just look so much like her! And you
have her name as well
No, it isnt that. My mother, bless her soul, was ill for a long time before death came to
her. While I miss her deeply I know that she is better off in heaven than down here suffering with
me. Its just that I am actually planning to return to France this week. I wish you had come
sooner so that you and I could have become friends. I would have loved to hear your stories of
the stage, your memories of my mother. She kept us sheltered from her past so it isnt often that I
get to hear about her career from someone who saw her all those years ago. My words were so
convincing that I half believed them myself.
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The man and I continued to talk for a while and he offered, if no one had come along to fill
the position, to manage the theater for me. I told him I was going back permanently to be married
but this seemed to suit him. As soon as I could, I introduced him to my actors and I went in
search of Luke. I found him outside of town stalking a band of cutthroats but all plans to hunt
were abandoned when I told him what had happened. At the end of the story I told him that I had
already booked passage and we were sailing in two nights time. We would arrive in France but
from there I had no idea where we would go or what we would do. This was all like a terrible
dream to me. Well, we dont have to go, you know. This man poses a threat to us in general by
remembering us with such clarity. What if he returns to Europe as he did once before and we see
him somewhere in our travels? There is another way that we could handle this and we wouldnt
have to leave at all.
I was disgusted by Lukes response. It was practical, of course. But I couldnt believe he
would suggest something so cruel and selfish. How could you suggest cutting this mans life
short to save our own asses? Perhaps we should go to Paris and hunt down anyone I ever worked
with, anyone who ever saw me on the stage, and kill them as well? I met the king when he was
just a little boy. He thought I was pretty so he might remember me. Lets sneak into Versailles
and murder him as well, just in case, shall we? I responded with fury in my voice. I am proud
of my years on the stage and the work that I did. I am happy I had those times and that I can
enjoy the memories. But it is not the fault of this man that things like this happen. If you hadto
hell with it! To hell with what you should or should not have done. I am returning to Europe as I
must and if you wish to remain, feel free. If you kill that man, dont bother finding me. You have
no right to punish him for your choice all those years ago.
I did not go more than a few steps before Luke grabbed my arm and forced me to stay. Of
course I am going with you and the man will come to no harm by my hand. It was only a
suggestion. You know, its been thirty years now. How long do you intend to carry your
bitterness toward me for sending you away? You got everything you wanted in the end and still
you hold it against me. I am tired of taking the blame for something that changed your life in the
best ways imaginable!
That is where you are wrong. When you came back to Kilas telling me that you heard our
story in France, you were cold toward me. When the book was published I was punished just the
same as you were by the consequences of that night. And now you suggested taking an innocent
life to cover our tracks. It seems like it is everyone else, especially me, who continues to deal
with the blame for your decision to force me toward the stage. The truth is, if you had just
believed that I could love you as I said I did we would not continue to deal with such
consequences. Since you did not, here we are. I have to go. There is much to do and we have
very little time to do it.
He returned with me but we walked together in an uneasy silence. The next night he snuck
out long enough to exchange our ticket for one on a ship that was sailing to Italy that night. I was
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left with the burden of saying goodbye to everyone, of hearing the goodbyes in return, and of
seeing the tears in the eyes of all the friends we had made in the city. I knew I would return one
night but by the time I came back all of those I had been close to in the city would be dead. That
was the point, after all. I was full of anger and hurt when we departed and I listened only half-
heartedly as Luke told me the plan he had made. We would go from Genoa, the city the ship was
bound for, to Rome to pay a visit to Lucius and Angel until we had a clear direction for where
we wanted to call home. To me none of this mattered. The word home was a joke for a vampire.
Unless we lived like Kila, something Lucania would not consider, we would never have a home.
We would only have a succession of houses, made up identities, and lives that could be uprooted
at a moments notice.
I remained sullen throughout the journey despite the fact that I was a little happy to be going
back to see Angel. Luke soon tired of my mood and he sought company with the humans who
stayed awake long into the night with their cigarettes and their card games. I spent more time
with the rats on that ship than I spent with him but if it bothered him he didnt say and if it didnt
bother him I was damned if I would let it show that it bothered me. But when we disembarked at
Genoa and we began the rest of our journey there were no humans to keep him distracted, no rats
to entertain me in a game of cat and mouse. It was probably his boredom that finally led him to
ask, What is the matter with you? Youve hardly said a word to me the entire time weve been
on that damned ship! It wasnt my fault we had to go. You realize that, dont you? I had
absolutely no idea that the man would one day come back to New Orleans. He talked of the city
and the theater as if they were nightmares he was glad to be rid of when I did the deal with him
over the land and the building. If I had any idea he would return we could have worked out some
plan
I know that. I am not blaming you for circumstances that were clearly beyond our control.
I will miss the city but I always knew the night would come when we would have to go. It isnt
New Orleans thats troubling me. I suppose I saw the life of a vagabond as something truly
romantic once and Ive suddenly lost my taste for it just in time for me to realize that any choice
I had to live a settled life passed with my mortality. When we get to Rome and we are among our
friends, when I have their lives to replace the darkness in my mind, this will pass. Im sure of it.
I replied honestly. I even managed a smile.
He nodded as if he understood. He probably did. A vampire who enjoys a life without roots
does not keep a house for hundreds of years. He doesnt have places he returns to again and
again. Clearly my dislike for constant wandering was something else I shared with Luke.
Speaking of Rome, we need to talk about this mad vampire, Keenan. I want you to stay away
from him. I know how you are. A shameless angel of death you may be but you still have that
part of you that tries to heal the hopeless. A mad vampire is the most dangerous creature on
earth. It is one of the only risks aside from sunlight and fire that vampires face in their long lives.
He could rip you apart before we got to you. Promise me you will not go near him.
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I hadnt given much thought to Angels progeny until Luke mentioned this but suddenly I
realized I could not make such a promise. Im sorry, my love, but I cannot swear such a thing. I
know what it is to be broken by lost love, to have your love taken from you by evil magic and ill
intent that has nothing to do with you, and I know what it is to go a little mad. I will be careful if
I ever cross his path but I cant promise that I will stay away from him. What if he isnt lost?
Everything that Aurelio has taken from Angel already, would you have me miss an opportunity
to return his son to him if it is possible for me to do it?
If the thing at stake is your life? Absolutely! This is not your problem!
With my chin held a little higher I attempted to remind myself that Luke was only worried
for me but I couldnt help retorting, Tis a damned good thing he did not take that attitude with
me while you laid between life and death! Drake was not the only one who risked himself to save
your life, Lucania!
That was the last we said of the mad one. There was no point in arguing when both of us
were standing firm in our positions on the matter. And when we did arrive in Rome we were
both shocked at the first sight of the university we hadnt seen in three decades. It was no longer
abandoned, run down, but rather it was fully restored and humans were absolutely everywhere! It
was long past midnight and still the people were coming and going all through the halls and the
grounds outside. A loud jumble of voices and laughter threatened to overwhelm me. I had lived
under the same roof with my actors in New Orleans but there were no more than fifteen people
there with us at any time. In this massive place of marble and stone there were thousands of
humans coming and going between classes at once and as I covered my highly sensitive ears I
wondered how the hell Lucius and Angel stood it night after night. Luckily Luke saw my
distressing movements and he followed his instincts lower and lower until we were on the
bottom floor where we had found the pair all those years ago. I had never felt this way before, as
if I might actually black out. But as soon as we reached the basement rooms the silence engulfed
me and I was able to smile. What the hell was that? I questioned, sounding more human than I
had in years with my voice nearly trembling.
In cities people are spread out everywhere. You have never been in a place so full of
people contained within the same walls. Your senses were temporarily overloaded. Im sorry. I
had no idea this place was sopopular. Eventually you will get used to all of the noise and to the
scent of so many warm bodies coming at you at once. We just have to take things slow, ease you
into it. He assured me as he easily broke into an apartment. Before I could ask where we were,
whose room we were invading, he smiled and gestured toward the many paintings that were
hung over the walls. Angelus has been busy since he left us. You havent seen his work in this
life. Take a look at it while we wait for him.
But this isnt right! We should wait on him instead of bursting in like this. I declared. My
mind was still shaken but I was quickly recovering. There was so much I wanted to ask Luke
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about what had happened to me. I wanted to know if it was common, if it happened to him at
least once before, but before I could ask anything, the door was thrown open with great force and
my friend stood before us looking positively wild!
It took a moment for Angel to realize who was in his rooms and when he did, the look of
fury faded into agitation. If you could track me to this apartment, you certainly could have
tracked me to my classroom so I didnt have to leave sixty mortal children unattended! He
barked out as he shut the door behind him.
I didnt have the time. Arianne had a bit of an overload. People were stopping to stare at
her. She was shaking like a terrified child. I had to get her away from all those damned humans
above us. Luke replied. I remained silent as I studied Angelus much as I had the first time I met
him. Something had changed in him since he left us in New Orleans. It was obvious in his eyes
where a darkness was gathered conveying the mood within. The battle we to keep his family
together had taken a toll on him that he did not tell us about in his letters following the mess.
Oh, I see. As sensitive as she is to the energy of our kind, you should have realized that
would happen the moment you saw this damned madhouse! We have three thousand people
living here. That was the number at last count. Of course she was overloaded by it! Anyway, I
have to get back to my class. Ill be through at three. We can talk about accommodations then.
As quickly as he came, he was gone and I went toward his paintings while Luke sat on his sofa.
Hes not himself. I said softly as I investigated a painting that could have been a portrait
of only one vampire. It was Rapunzel, her long hair that was as infamous as everything else
about her proving it. Considering the way things ended between them, the bitterness and pain he
carried still, I was surprised to see the soft expression he gave her, the smile, the warmth in her
eyes. I was also surprised that he had this painting as the focal point from the sofa. It was as if he
knew her memory would not let him go so he decided to spend his nights with her in the only
way he had.
Hes losing everything. That leaves a mark. Luke replied simply.
I continued to investigate Angels work until Lucius came and he was so excited to show
off the fruits of his labor that he begged us to let him show us around. When Luke told him what
happened with me, I insisted that I would be fine on my own. I didnt want to disappoint Lucius
when he looked so hopeful. After a small debate on the issue, Luke kissed me on the cheek and
he asked me softly to stay in the room until they returned. I had no intentions on going anywhere
so it was nothing to agree to his request. However, as I sat alone having investigated all of the art
in the sitting room I got that intense feeling that told me there was a vampire very close by. My
whole body was alert, my skin was practically humming, and I knew if I didnt follow the feeling
and see who it led me to, I would not know peace. Peeking out cautiously when I opened the
door, I found the hall empty on both sides. The feeling was coming from a room that was to the
left of me and I slipped out like a naughty child half afraid of what I was going to find when I
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opened that door. Was it the mad one? Would he rip me to pieces before anyone could save me?
I knew it was wise to turn around and go back but I could not. Instead I took a deep breath
outside the door, I tried to block out the intense tingle that was driving me mad, and I slowly
twisted the knob.
The room was pitch black and cold as ice. At first I thought it was abandoned, that my
instincts were simply off because of the earlier disruption, but I looked carefully around the room
nonetheless. Suddenly I saw himor rather, I saw something. At first glance it simply looked
like a large lump in the corner. But as I got closer I realized it was indeed the mad one (who
else?) and he had folded his limbs in so that he lay in a ball on the floor. When his head moved I
nearly gasped but I held it in. I wanted to light candles, to show the vampire before me some
warmth and some light, I wanted to say something to him, but instead I stood silent and still.
Who the hell are you? He barked out without moving.
My name is Arianne and I am a dear friend of Angels Suddenly an unseen weapon was
hurled at me but I was able to slap it away before it hit me in the head. Listen here, thatll be
enough of that shit! I will stay and I will talk to you if you want someone to talk to but if you
throw another thing my way Ill snap your fucking wrist! I shouted with far more authority than
I felt just then.
I dont give a damn whose friend you think you are! Its all his faultall his faultall HIS
FAULT! He took her! He always wanted her and now he has her in this prison somewhereI
hear hercant you hear her!
Stooping down, I felt for the thing he had thrown at me and when I found that it was a
candle stick and the candle survived the flight, I smiled. Using a trick Kila taught me, I lit the
flame with my mind and I sat the thing between us. I left enough room between us for a retreat if
I needed it but it was easier to level with him if he wasnt drowning in the darkness. Angel
didnt take her, friend. He doesnt have her. I swear it. There is nothing I cherish above love
Any vampire who says that is a fecking liar! There is one thing we all cherish above love!
He countered, his Irish Brogue thickening with each word.
Ive gone without blood and I have gone without my love and being without love hurt
much worse so I am afraid I dont agree with you. Are you telling me if you were given a choice
between starving to have her or having the blood, you would pick the blood? I was trying to
reason with him, to reach the rational creature behind those cold insane eyes. After seeing the
look Angel had this seemed more important than it had when Luke and I discussed it before. But
somehow I knew before I began that it was useless.
Can you get her back to me? If I agree to starve, can you get her back? There was no plea
here, no hope in his words, only bitterness. I thought not! I saw him out there that night! I saw
him, my own maker, her maker, helping that bastard
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You saw his brother, Keenan. You saw a vampire named Aurelio. He was Angels brother
in life and now he is his brother in darkness. Angel was in the New World with me! He wasnt
there! When he sprung on me, I surprised myself with my swift movements and despite his
strength and his madness, I was able to pin him down with my hand wrapped tight around his
throat. I told you not to try that, didnt I? Now listen to me, please! This isnt getting her back
and you are breaking his heart! Cant you see that? He would lay down his life for you, for me,
for any of us and you are breaking his fucking heart!
Well, he broke my heart! When he betrayed me, when he betrayed her againyes,
AGAINhe broke my heart! And because I could see the red tears standing in his eyes, I knew
he believed that everything he said was truth and there was no way to talk him out of it.
I was so lost in the moment that I didnt hear the door open behind me until Angel shouted,
What the hell is this? What are you doing in here? Go! Now! And because he looked nothing
like the vampire I once held dear, I quickly dropped Keenan and I fled. I fled not just from the
room but from the building, past all those voices that made me shake as fast as I could go
without a single thought of the repercussions of this with so many mortal witnesses around.
As I walked the ancient streets of the city where Angelus was born, the place where all of
this strife and hatred between the two brothers began, I thought not of Angel and Aurelio. I
thought not of the vampire I found huddled in a corner like a beast. No, I thought of darkness. I
thought of the darkness that lives inside every living thing, the darkness that is most powerful
inside of a vampire. It seemed I had been drowning in it as surely as Keenan since that man came
into my theater. And despite the happy years I had had and the love that filled me up until I felt
like I might burst, I saw no light left to fight it. I was losing my friend. I had lost my city. I
couldnt go home to France. And I knew beyond a doubt that even Lukes embrace could not
save me from this. If I were to find my reason to go on with eternity I had to find it inside of
myself. If I could not? That was an interesting question and one that seemed to have only one
answer no matter how terrible the answer seemed. Luke would be fine without me if it came to
that. He was old and he was strong. He thought he needed me but I knew that he never needed
me as much as I needed him. He had creatures all over the world that had been by his side for
hundreds, even thousands of years, beings who knew him far better than I ever would. If I had to
walk into the sunlight to find my purpose at last
I tried to shove at the creature who grabbed me but I couldnt fight it. For a moment I
thought it was Aurelio and when I discovered that the will to fight him wasnt there, I smiled.
But when I was turned around, it was his brother who was staring at me with fire in his eyes.
Yes, that is a perfectly rational train of thought for someone who has lost no one, someone who
could have everything! Listen to you! What the hell has happened to you since you left Scotland?
What happened to your damned strength, Arianne? Maybe it is your own soul that I know better
than you do! Maybe if you had seen the things youve endured and the hell youve lived through
over and over again to get here, you would stop with the pointless self-pity! He would be fine?
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Do you really believe that? This was his last plan. Turning you is the end of the line! If you were
to do this incredibly stupid self-indulgent thing, he would follow you, goddamn it, and I would
lose you both! You dare look at my insane child and tell him he is breaking my heart when he
has no idea what world he lives in yet you think nothing of suicide when you have no reason in
this world to entertain such an idea! I know you and I know him and damn it, I know myself!
Your relationship with Luke may be completely different but he is not the only one who looked
for you, who waited for this! You were my sister! I followed you first! I followed you to find you
as Calliope because you were a part of me just as you are a part of him and neither of us would
be fine, you little fool, if you walked blindly into the sun!
On the rare occasions when Luke cried it cut me to the quick, it broke my heart, but as I
watched Angels eyes fill with blood I was startled by his tears. I hadnt meant for him to hear
my thoughts. I probably had no intention of acting on them. There was just something inside of
me that had been there since that first night in Paris after I was turned that sometimes drove me
to such musings. I wanted to tell him all of this but when I tried to speak, he only held out his
hand to stop me. My love is gone, my child is gone, I have another child I may never be able to
save, my brother is plotting to kill us all, and still I go on, Arianne. We all loved you before you
were born with this face. We would all die for you. And you are breaking our hearts. Luke feels a
change in you. Did you honestly think you could hide it from him? He thinks your love for him
has grown cold and as terrible as that is, it is actually better than the truth I just found inside of
you. Youve only just begun! Hes watched you live and die over and over again and now he has
the forever he waited on and you would rob him of that? For what? Like I said, Ive been to hell
and back again and again and I still go on. How dare you think of ending it like this after a
couple of short decades! No! You are going to go back and spend the morning in the arms of the
man youve loved since time began and tomorrow night when you wake you are going to face
every painful truth of your journey!
What are you talking about? I asked. I was alarmed. He wasnt making sense and as he
grabbed my arm and dragged me across the narrow street he seemed as mad as his progeny.
Like I told you in New Orleans, you need to read those old things, the old journals that
Luke refused to part with. And now you shall!
Ive read his journals, Angel! I wasnt in them! I cried out. We were close to the
university. I could already hear the buzz of people though I could tell it was calmer than before.
You havent read these! He retorted.
When we returned Angel lied for me. He told Lucius and Luke about finding me with
Keenan and he claimed he simply scared me off. He said nothing about the rest. But as I lay in a
coffin on Lukes chest with his sweet arms wrapped around me and I thought of what Angel had
told me, that Luke thought I had fallen out of love with him, I knew I had to tell him the truth. I
had to tell him about the darkness in my mind. I knew it would hurt him but he was the other half
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of my soul. I couldnt hide these thoughts from him anymore. I wasnt prepared for his wracking
sobs, his tight embrace, his plea that I never entertain such a thing again. I wasnt prepared for
the gasp he gave when I told him that had I done it, I knew he would be alright. Oh, it hurt like
hell to hear what just the thought of my death did to him. But I needed to feel this open wound. I
was just sorry that I had to cut him as well.

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Chapter 3
When I awoke the next evening I was alone in the coffin and in the room Luke and I were
sharing. I found the men gathered in Angels sitting room discussing some big plan concerning
Luke and the university, some job for him until we decided on a plan of our own. I listened to all
of this before interjecting with a complaint that I needed to voice in light of what I was hearing.
Can any one of you explain to me why in hells name I am sleeping in a coffin? There are no
windows in the rooms down here. If we are staying awhile I would rather not spend each day in a
damned wooden box!
There are thousands of humans in this place. There are windows in the rooms, dear, they
are simply covered. They are not covered by wood or stone. Only tapestries. Would you like to
risk your demise at the hands of some nosey university student? Angel replied.
Damn! I swore. The way he looked at me when he asked the question, I think he was
actually testing me to see if I would say yes. And after what he heard in my head the night
before, why not?
For a little while longer I listened as the three of them made arrangements. It seemed Luke
would spend his nights teaching Greek to the kids and plans were made to take me through the
school for short periods each night until I became accustomed to the massive amount of energy
surrounding us. Angel also informed us that a large population of the students were now talking
about the place being haunted after some reportedly saw a woman flash by them and rush outside
the night before. So they thought me a ghost did they? Well, I had started to feel like one so it
seemed appropriate but this ghost had fangs and she could bite if the mood struck her As for
you, our dear Arianne, I have something for you. Come on. Get off your ass and follow me.
Angel declared, standing long enough to make sure I did the same before he grabbed a
candelabra and led me outside his room and down to the last room at the left hand side of the
hall. The feeling of the mad one slammed me as we passed his room but I attempted to ignore it.
Once inside, I followed him through rows and rows of book shelves until he came to what he
wanted me to see. I have all of the books from your home in Bohemia. When you are finished
with the task you need to complete, Ill show you how they are organized. But for now these are
what you need to concern yourself with. These are Lukes journals and the journals of your past
selves that he sent to me after the mess with Annalise. They were another piece in the puzzle of
her madness and he would not risk repeating that mistake by keeping them where you might find
them when he found you again.
So Luke gets to teach Greek to hundreds of humans each night, you and Lucius will be up
there as well doing much the same work, and I get to stay in this musty room useless and alone
with my thoughts and memories I dont recall? Yes, I can see that I will thoroughly enjoy my
time here. I doubt I will ever want to leave. I replied sarcastically even as I reached for the book
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he handed me. Opening the cover, I realized that I had probably just died as Calliope when Luke
began this book. How the hell had it survived all of those years being bounced from place to
place?
Magic. And you need to stop pouting. You are too old for such folly. Besides, you brought
this upon yourself. And you are not alone. We have our schedules worked out so that one of us
will be down here with you every few hours for a short time and all classes end at three leaving
at least a couple of hours each night for us to hunt and socialize like the little happy family we
are. Now, I have to get to work. I have chairs and a few tables set up on the other end of the
room. You are also free to go back to your room if you like. Stay the hell away from Keenan this
time, hum?
I obeyed his command for only three nights before I brought to him a plan. You see, as I
was reading the words Luke had immortalized concerning his love for me, his determination to
find me, and his joy when I came to him again even though he didnt recognize my face, I kept
thinking of Keenan. He needed a reason to believe. Even in his madness or perhaps because of it,
he needed something that would assure him that his own love would one day find him again.
Kila told me once that the stories of Luke and me had kept her going in her darkest times. I
wanted to share them with this vampire who had lost all hope in case they could do the same for
him. Angel was quick to shoot the idea down until he realized how determined I was to do this,
with or without his permission. He may not have been happy about it but he did round up candles
and he went with me into the black room where Keenan spent his life. Once all the wicks were lit
I was able to see that there was nothing but a coffin in the room, a coffin that looked as if it had
never been used. In addition to that, there was debris all over the floor. I could see candle holders
that had been bent into strange shapes and candles that had been crushed into dust. Keenan
himself was in the same position I found him in when I came a few nights earlier and he
remained in that strange pose as Angel lit the candles. He gave no acknowledgement that he
heard as Angel attempted to speak to him and in time Angel walked away looking pained. If he
becomes agitated, leave. Dont physically restrain him unless you have to. Ill come in when I
can to see how you are faring.
Because there was no other furniture in the room, I took a seat on top of Keenans useless
coffin feeling that at least now it had a purpose. I saw no reason to begin with an introduction as
I had only infuriated him when I tried that before. I simply read the words of my love who
started that first journal mourning the loss of Calliope and lamenting the fact that, as a vampire,
he could not return to Athens for the child we had made. I had read this one from cover to cover
already but if Keenan was to grasp the tale I thought we should begin at the beginning. As I read
I found myself forgetting the mad one in the room with me. I was lost in Lukes words just as I
had been before, mentally traveling back in time to touch his pain and feel his loss. But as I went
further into the tale I realized that I was not simply sharing these words with Keenan for his sake.
I could not bear the weight of what had passed on my own. I needed someone to share this ache
with, someone who would not judge the tale as grand or romantic because to me it was neither.
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No, even with our happy ending and all of the love we shared again and again, our history was
tragic and if anyone could see past the beauty to the core of it all, it might be this vampire turned
insane by love.
I was nearly finished with the first book, the one that ended with Luke finding me again as
the Italian painter, when I spotted movement out of the corner of my eye. Looking up I was
startled to see Keenan coming at me in a way that I had never seen any vampire move before. I
was aware of the fact that our bodies could do incredible things but to see anyone, even a
creature like myself, move like a spider was nearly terrifying. Yet that was exactly what he
looked like, a spider coming in slow motion toward a bug he had trapped in his web. Like I had
done before, I stuffed the fear down. I would not let him intimidate me. His strength seemed to
dwindle with his madness because I knew by his energy that he was much older than me, older
by centuries in fact, yet I had been able to overpower him once and if he attempted to assault me
I would do it again. When he was in front of me I thought he would stand up but he stayed in this
grotesque position as he seethed in his native Irish Gaelic tongue, What is it that you think you
are doing? Are you trying to redeem the monster in the corner who despises even the victims
blood running through his veins? If that is why you read me such bullshit as this, I am afraid you
are wasting your time.
It was hard to look at him with his limbs spread out from his body impossibly far and his
head tilted toward me in a way that should have snapped his neck. But I had no choice. Using the
same language he had used I replied, I am trying to give you hope. Each book I hold in my
hands contains the story of my lover and me. All of this happened, Keenan. Decade after decade
he followed the first cries I let out at birth and he waited until I grew to be a woman, until I came
to him. Through space and time we did the impossible. We found one another over and over
again. It may feel as if she is lost to you forever but there is nothing that lasts forever save for
damnable creatures like us and there is nothing that will keep two souls that were once one apart
for all time. She did not leave you on her own. Aurelio helped the manI dont know his
namebut he helped him using ancient magic he stole from my dear friend to drive you mad
and to take your love against her will. What binds her to him now is pure evil. All of this was
done to hurt Angelus and it has. In fact, it is turning him cold and he doesnt even see it. There is
a vampire who is truly mad, Keenan, a vampire who will go to extraordinary lengths to destroy
us all simply to hurt the ones who would not accept his darkness. He nearly took my love from
me as well, casting a spell that left him trapped between two worlds unable to return to me. But
in time he did, you see? And so will she. The world is not so large. One of us must stumble upon
her eventually. So I am reading you this tale of me and my maker, my love, to show you that the
truth of the heart conquers all.
When he jumped up like a frog and he slapped me across the face I could have overpowered
him as I had before but I decided instead to simply slap him back. Neither of us would be harmed
by a good fight if that was what he wanted. Perhaps the release of anger would do him good. But
when he grabbed me by the throat and attempted to turn my head in an effort to snap my neck,
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my survival instincts kicked in and what came next was a fight that took the two of us from one
end of that dismal room to the other and back again. Candles were knocked down, two small
fires were started, and both of us were burned but still we went on. There was something alluring
about this creature. It wasnt just the bizarre movements he chose or the fierce way that he
behaved without a bit of warning. As we fought like two gladiators I realized that he was the
result of a vampire who tossed away the restrictions we placed upon ourselves in order to blend
in. He wasnt evil as Aurelio was and I doubted he would ever go so far as that bastard in
ignoring all the rules. He was a vampire who did not give a damn what the world thought of him
one way or the other and despite the fact that all of us were outcasts no matter how well we could
fool the people around us, it was rare to see one of us with this sort of wild abandonment. I found
it absolutely fascinating even as he attempted to rip my arm from its socket. So long as he did not
succeed in his attempts to do me real harm, I believed in those moments that I would rather enjoy
studying him as the others did their work upstairs.
The two of us had each other by the hair and with his being just as long as mine we were
really at a standstill in our battle. He was again trying to rip my head off and I was again trying
to figure out a way to subdue him. That was when Angel came in and before I could tell him that
all was well, he tackled his progeny to the ground issuing a litany of threats that would have
intimidated me if they had come from someone else. Leave him be, Angelus. Its alright. He
wasnt doing me any real harm andoh fuck! It was then that I noticed the two small fires
burning on the other side of the room. Quickly I moved to stomp them out as Angel attempted to
process what he saw when he walked in and my words that assured him all was well despite that.
Shes right, you son of a bitch. I wouldnt really have killed her. Shes the only vampire in
this useless goddamned place who has the guts to come and face me. She fights well, she doesnt
back off even when she sees the proof of my madnessI only wanted to see how much she
could take before she asked for mercy. Shes strong, you know. MauraMaura was strong. I
wonder if she cried out for mercy when she was taken in the night by a bastard who hurt her over
and over again? And you fucking turned him! You turned him! You and that whore of yours
brought that bastard down upon her and then you gave him the dark gift and unlimited strength?
Tell me this is not your fault! If I was going to kill anyone I was stunned beyond belief when
he lunged forward and pinned Angel against the wall. I couldnt believe he had managed it! If I
was going to kill anyone it would be you, you selfish son of a bitch! You wanted her! When you
gave him the blood you knew he would honor no promise to leave her be! You knew what he
would do! But that was what you wanted all along, your reason to turn her. And you wonder why
Rapunzel packed her fucking bags in Ireland and left you for a house full of ghosts by the sea?
It was with those words that Keenan went too far. I realized instantly that the reason he had
been able to pin Angel was because Angel wasnt fighting back but at the mention of Rapunzels
departure, Angel flung his progeny across the large room with a mere flick of his hand. My eyes
could not track his movement as he went for Keenan until he was on him slamming his head into
the floor over and over again. All I ever tried to do was save that girl! She was tormented by the
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brother who should have protected her against everything, she was tormented by the little bastard
that I had to keep at my side in order to protect the secret of what Rapunzel and I are, she was
tormented by the world! Someone needed to take her from it all! You have no idea the life she
had! It is one thing to hear of it but it is something completely different to see it. So before you
point the finger at me I think you should consider the fact that had I not given Jeremy the dark
gift in exchange for the promise he would not keep, had I not been there the night he attacked
her, you would have never known her at all! I could have let her die, you son of a bitch, the same
way that you let your first love die, the mother of your child you turned so foolishly, at the hands
of a man, a human fucking being, who knew about us only what he read in some stupid
superstitious book! Yes, quite the protector, arent you? I was across the ocean when Maura was
taken. How the hell did you not realize something was amiss? How did you not feel that
something was wrong inside of you, inside of her? Now you dare blame me?
Angel moved away from Keenan suddenly, sitting a few feet away with his legs up to his
chest. His hair had come out of its ribbon and it fell around his face as he put his head against his
knees. Keenan sat up as well glaring daggers at his maker. Why did you neglect to tell me about
magic, that it existed, that it could be used and it would actually work? And who the hell is
Aurelio? Another secret youve kept from everyone you made? There is a vampire intent on
destroying us and you failed to warn any of the fledglings you turned? Did you at least have the
sense to tell Rapunzel or did you leave her completely defenseless as well? The bastard looked
just like you so I have no doubt that you are the main one hes out to hurt. Surely you had sense
enough to tell the woman you love above all else that your affection for her could spell her
doom? When Angel remained silent, Keenan nodded his head as if he expected this. But you
dare to criticize me because I knew nothing of the secrets you kept? You dare question my
ability to protect the woman I love when this insane creature could be somewhere stalking your
own woman at this very moment? Go straight back to hell, Angelus! If that thing has his way, it
will be the only place left for you and I cant say that would bother me anymore!
With that, Keenan crawled over to the right side of the room, his favorite corner, and he
contorted his body into a ball once more, the sign that he had disengaged from us both and there
would be no more from him for the rest of the night. I was shocked by everything I had just
learned, that Angel had told none of the vampires he made or the vampire he loved about the
danger his brother posed, that he had told them nothing of magic and its force. As I gathered the
journals I wondered if any of them had even heard the story of where we came from. Did they
know the tale of the fallen demi-god who pissed off the keeper of the sun? As I was walking out
the door, I heard Keenan inside my mind asking me if I planned to come back the next night and
when I told him in this manner that I did, I could almost feel him smile.
Angel waited for me outside my door as I put the books in my room. I had no idea why. I
assumed he would go back upstairs to the students who were waiting but instead he led me up
the three flights of stairs through the loud energy I had indeed began growing accustomed to and
out the door into the warm Roman night. He never said a word as we walked. Outside with the
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city caught somewhere between sleep and mania, he led me on silently toward a destination, or
so it seemed by the determination in his movements. I didnt ask about it. I simply followed,
taking in the sights and sounds of the city that fascinated me even though it continued to feel
unreal. When he stopped it was just on the edge of town and it was so abrupt that I walked past
him at first before I realized my mistake. Looking up I saw a place that had fallen to ruin, a place
that nature was starting to claim as its own, but I knew it was once grand, a palazzo of ancient
splendor. What is this place? I asked, seeing it not as it was but as it once looked, knowing that
there was a time even before Luke was born when I had known its rooms, its courtyards, all of its
charms as well as I ever knew my childhood home in France.
It was our home. Once. This is where it all began for me, for Aurelio, and yes, little sister,
for you as well. Had you not been a child in this place, a child I loved more than anyone on earth,
I would not have asked Lucius to follow you to Crete where I knew you had been reborn. It is
because you were ours here that you exist before me now, that Luke lives, and Galene and Badru
as well. But of course it was here, too, that our journey with Aurelio began. You were the only
thing we agreed upon once. You were the only thing in that life or the one that came with the
blood that he ever seemed to love. I heard your thoughts back there, Arianne, condemning me for
never telling those I made anything about him. I told them nothing because for centuries he has
walked his corner of the world and we have walked ours. Except a few isolated incidents that
occurred when one of us crossed his path, he has done nothing. He hasnt been this bold in
thousands of years. It all began again with you, when you were made and he learned of it from
Galene. Your birth into darkness broke a very old promise once given to him and as a result he
will now destroy everything I love, everything Lucius loves, and Luke himself if he gets half the
chance.
When Angel walked toward the ruins of a home that was once ours, I followed him,
wanting to ask so many questions but remaining silent all the way. I have kept a secret from the
others concerning Aurelio and me. You see, the bad blood between us goes back long before he
was turned. It goes back to this very place in which we stand, to the night of your death, the night
that any light inside of him went out, a night he still blames me for even now.
Up the stairs of stone he led me with our footsteps echoing eerily around us. When we
reached the third floor, the highest floor, I looked up and I saw the bright stars overhead where
the roof should have been. He blamed you for my death? Why? I questioned, walking into a
room where the tattered ruins of someones life still lay in pieces here and there on the floor.
Because here in this room I killed you. Six months after I was turned Lucius and I got
word in Venice that you were ill. My family believed Lucius to be my fiancs uncle who had
come to take me under his wing after her death, a great artist of the highest order, painting
murals for officials as high up the ranks as the king so they had my address, you see. As long as
you lived I could not bear to cut my ties with my mortal life completely and against Luciuss
advice I had concocted the story so I could receive word of how the family was fairing. As soon
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as I got the news I came home and I found you here in your bed dying of a fever that no herb
could conquer. Aurelio was sitting at your side weeping silently in a way that should have made
a great noise and as soon as I saw you, your tiny body stripped naked with only a sheet to cover
it as the heat inside burned you up, sweat dripping from your skin, and your small heart pumping
much too hard, I knew what I had to do. Lucius and I had never discussed the making of a
vampire but I remembered well enough what he had done to me. I did not consider the fact that
you were a child of ten and that turning you for any reason should have been something so evil it
could not be considered. I thought only of how my heart would ache if you died before you had
ever been given the chance to live.
I sent Aurelio out of the room though he fought me every step of the way. I knew he was
outside the door, that he would wait no more than a few moments, and I knew I had to be quick.
When you looked up at me I smiled only to realize that you didnt recognize me. Your body was
still alive but your mind was already hovering between the worlds of the living and the dead. If I
had waited you would be lost to me forever. I closed my eyes knowing I could not do this thing
if I kept them open and I saw your face. I took your tiny hand in mine, felt that throbbing pulse
in your small wrist, and I bit into your flesh. Aurelio came in as I was trying to feed you my
blood, as I was begging you to drink, knowing that it was all for naught because you were
already dead. Your heart was not strong enough for the dark gift, you see. A child cannot be
made into such a creature. It was a harsh lesson to learn and one I wished to hell I hadnt had to
discover at all. He saw the marks on your flesh, the ones that hadnt healed as soon as I
withdrew, and he started shouting madly. I thought he would bring the whole house down upon
me! I covered the marks with my blood, kissed your lips, and fled.
I didnt see him again until the night that Lucius presented him to me telling me that he was
made to be my companion. He refused to go with us when we traveled to Crete. He had heard
what the mystic said about you, that you had been reborn there as a slave child destined to marry
a prince, and he thought that it was madness to try to find you. He made me swear that I would
never turn you, that no matter what, you would never know the burden of the blood. I promised
him on the grave of the sister we once shared. He forced the same promise from Luke after Crete
when he learned that while my looking was over and I would search no more, Luke was
determined to follow you through eternity. I did not break the promise but obviously Lucania did
and now that he has, the demon within Aurelio has been woken up.
By the time we returned to the university I felt as if I had spent the night stuck inside a
world of dreams. On the way back Angel had told me that he believed it was not the flower that
Aurelio was after when he came to the house in the Bohemian Forest but that I was the thing he
spoke of that Luke would not give him. Angel feared for me, not that I would be hurt but that
Aurelio would try to snatch me up and hold me against my will as he had done with Kila for so
many years. Worst of all, I couldnt share any of this with Luke because Angel feared it would
drive my lover toward an obsessive search that would come on its own in time without any effort
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put toward speeding it up. I was completely alone with this burden and the fear it inspired and if
I hadnt loved my friend so much, I would have hated him for placing such a weight on me.
That morning as I slept I had the first dream of my immortal life. Until then I had no idea
that we could dream at all. I believed in the beginning that everything was so vivid, so real,
because it was the dream of a vampire as if our sleeping minds were as enhanced by our
vampiric senses as our waking minds were. But as I felt the cold of the black room around me
and I felt as clearly as if I were awake the strong presence of a vampire there with me, I started to
doubt that this was a dream at all. It felt too much like a vision. I looked across from me and I
found someone I knew only from the images I once received while he sat on the other side of my
door. Aurelio. It was not a question. I knew him. I knew him all too well. Where are we? I
asked.
Russia. Cant you tell by the damnable cold? If it gets to be too much, will it away. We can
do that, you know? We can decide to feel nothing. No cold, no heat, no pain. It is a rather handy
trick but there are side effects to it. To feel no pain you must agree to feel nothing at all and
sometimes, if you will it away long enough, it sticks. But love and joy meant little to me when
my heartbeat was still strong and I had air left in my lungs. It is even less relevant now.
Why are we here? I asked. I felt no fear. I did not believe as Angel did that this creature
would do me no harm. It was just that in that moment I didnt care.
You are here because I beckoned you to me. I am here to watch Rapunzel. I may kill her, I
may not. At the moment she is with a lover, an insane man who plays the violin with the passion
of hell inside of him. She was going to find Angelus when, through some divine intervention, she
was led straight toward the arms of a madman who looks quite a bit like the one who once tried
to claim her. She isnt a threat to me so long as she remains with her madman. Still, the idea of
causing Angelus pain does delight me. It is one of few things that can. Have a seat. You are safe
here with me. You must know that. His voice was so cold until he implored me to believe I was
safe. I did hear softness then, something I would have never thought him capable of.
Why must I know that? You are a madman, a monster, someone who goes to extraordinary
lengths in order to accomplish very little. I do not feel safe with you and I see no reason that I
should! I retorted. I did not sit. I would stay where I was if only to prove my words to him.
To accomplish little? I have no desire to accomplish anything at all. Accomplishments are
the work of human beings who have a destiny to fulfill and a very limited amount of time in
which to fulfill them. I have no destiny. There is no clock that will soon run out for me. I am
dead. Everything I do is done simply because I enjoy it. This is all a game to me, you see. I will
never win and I will never lose because I intend to play the game until the end of time. Should I
bring about the death of an opponent, it matters not, it counts not as a win, because there will
always be a new opponent to take the place of the old one. I could leave and travel to Rome for
the battle with Angelus tonight. It could be finished by dawn. But that would be no fun at all.
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Angelus is my favorite opponent. He always has been. I enjoy my game, you see, and if you
think that any of your friends are safe from my next move, you are quite mistaken. There is no
logic to the moves I make. I myself do not know what Ill do next until its done. You cannot
predict where I will go or what I will do. That is how I take down those I wish to take down
every time. But Angelus was right about one thing. The only thing I am certain of, the only move
I know I shall not make, is harming you. So, my dear sweet baby sister, you are safe with me.
I am NOT your sister! I cried out, hatred for him flowing through me over all he had said.
He laughed but there was no humor in it. It was perhaps the most sinister sound he had
made toward me. Of course you are. Your soul knows its true. Thats why you are still here.
No matter what your mind says, your soul loves me still. We worshiped you, Angelus and I, and
then he killed you and he left me to bury your body. How is it right that you walk on his arm and
throw hateful words at my feet?
What he did he did by mistake. All of the horrible things youve done to those I hold dear
you planned and executed knowing exactly what you were doing. You tried to rob me of the one
man who matters most to me in all the world and you think that after I sat at his side watching
him starve, knowing he was in there afraid and alone, worrying that I would have to sacrifice the
both of us in the sun, that I would forgive you and take you into my heart? My soul loves Luke!
You are nothing to me! I despise you for what you did to him!
He stood before me but instead of an attack he put his hands on my shoulders as tender as a
lover. You dont mean that, my dear. You dont mean the things you say.
I mean them with everything I am! I replied with conviction.
His voice was actually sad as he asked gently, So you wish to become my enemy?
Looking him straight in the eye, I replied, I wish to be left the hell alone! I do not want to
see you, I do not want to dream of you, I would be happy if I never heard your cursed name
again! I wish to forget that you walk this earth! And if that is what it is to become your enemy
then so be it!
I awoke suddenly with the faint memory of an apology in my mind, an apology not for what
was done but for what was to come

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Chapter 4
I forgot the dream as soon as I awoke and after a short time spent with Lucania making love
on our floor (because doing this in the coffin was revolting to me), he went upstairs to work and I
carried the journals to Keenans room. I found him where we had left him still in that strange
position and I chatted easily to him as I went around the room lighting candles. Even though he
said nothing in return I knew he was listening and that he would accept my presence there
because I had earned his respect the night before. I sat close to him this time reading the rest of
the first journal and moving all the way through the second before Angel came to take me away
so I could hunt. Night after night I did this. Usually Keenan simply stayed as he was, never
speaking out loud, never physically acknowledging that I was there, but often he would make
comments with his mind. He still thought the stories were bullshit, he told me, but he was glad I
always came. When I asked him why he was glad I expected him to say something about
companionship. Instead he replied that hearing the fucked up situations Luke put himself into to
love the same woman with a different face when all he had to do was turn me to begin with made
him feel better about his own pathetic existence. At least, he said, there was one creature on earth
that was less intelligent than he was. While I disagreed with his mean analysis, his attempt at
humor was something I found encouraging.
Angelus was right when he said that I would see the struggle of the past and I would
appreciate my existence because of it. I did not read my own words from the lifetimes that came
before because I didnt need to. All of the love, the work, the pain that Lucania had poured into
me when he could have gone on and lived his life knowing I had no idea he had abandoned me
was all that I needed to make me see that the thoughts of death I had recently entertained were a
slap in the face to the man I owed so much to. Any ideas I had about Luke being alright after my
death, about him carrying on as if nothing had happened, were squashed by those pages. He had
died a little with each goodbye he had given me and he said over and over again that he would
know no peace until I was given his immortal kiss and we could have forever. If I destroyed that
now? Well, it was the same as putting him out in the sun myself. When I finished the last journal,
the one that ended with the contemptible Annalise, I was heartbroken all over again by what I
had once done to him. Reading these words was the hardest thing I had ever had to face and the
only reason I read them at all was because Keenan had heard my thoughts, the reservations I had
over this journal, and he had called me a coward. As I wept with my face in my hands for the
pain I had caused, my silent companion did something completely unexpected. He came to me
and he put his arm around my shoulder. There is no reason to cry. He has forgiven you. You
wouldnt be here if he hadnt. He told me.
Perhaps he has. But his forgiveness cannot make me forgive myself. I nearly destroyed
him! Did you hear that last entry, the way he swore that nothing would make him come for me
again, the talk of how he had been wrong all the while and that what we had, once so beautiful,
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was now dead on the vine? Everything he endured to follow me and never did he doubt that it
was right. He held me as I lay dying from the Black Death, he soothed me while I died giving
birth to the child of a man I betrayed him with, he heard my screams in his hiding place as I
burned alive, and never did he think twice about following my cries when I was born again. It
took him four hundred years to forgive her. Ive only known that she existed for less than four
decades. It may take some time for me to do the same. If you were Luke, would you have
forgiven her? Would you have come again?
I expected sarcasm or silence. I never anticipated that he would announce with conviction,
To have Maura at my side again there is nothing, absolutely nothing, she could do that I would
not forgive!
Those were the last words Keenan ever spoke to me. He shut his mind off to me as well.
After that night I continued to come and talk to him. Sometimes I brought him blood in a glass
decanter that he refused to touch until I had gone. He never moved in front of me again. Six
months later, when the night came for Luke and I to depart, he remained in his contorted position
with his walled off mind even as I told him that I would miss him and I promised that I would
always be on the lookout for any word of Maura. However, I took comfort in the fact that when I
reached the doorway and I turned to leave for the last time, he picked up the decanter that had
held his blood the night before and he chucked it at my back. Ill miss you too, you bastard. I
said with a laugh as I left him.
It was a letter from Drake that drove Luke and me away from Rome. Calling upon the
promise of a favor owed him, he asked that I come and look after the tavern that was the gateway
to the City of the Undead below London. While I was happy to do anything to help the vampire
who had saved Lukes life, I hated that in this case, anything meant coming into contact with
some of the most despicable creatures in our world. The worst part was that, because the tavern
itself served humans constantly in all capacities that a tavern typically served, Luke and I had no
choice but to stay in that terrible place underground because it was the only place for a vampire
to be safefrom humans and sunlight anyway. As I packed my things, Luke reminded me that
as bad as this might seem, a vampires promise should not be broken if it was possible that it
might be kept and that I was a little older and much better mentally than I had been the last time I
went. He talked about it as if it had the potential to be an adventure for us. He told me that we
would know everything there was to know about our kind and that this could help us find Maura.
In the end, I felt resigned but I was certainly a long way from enthused.
As we traveled north he explained the duties of the position we were about to take up. Not
only will we be in charge of the tavern, we are the law of the underground city. Only the children
of Lucius serve as the keepers of the cities around the world because of this. We are the most
powerful, either because of our age or his blood or a combination of both, and we have a direct
connection to him so if he needs to be called upon to settle anything inside the cities, it takes
little time to summon him. He explained.
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You said cities. Do you mean to tell me that London isnt the only one? I asked,
astonished. I had never contemplated this possibility before.
Not at all. Wherever there is a major city that has been built upon for centuries, there is an
underground world that has been covered up by time and change. And in each there are
vampires. Usually they are like Londons with only a small section used for this purpose but in
some cases, like with the one in Rome, the place underground is as large and alive as the city
above.
Are there really that many vampires in the world that entire cities may exist all over the
place for them to dwell in? I questioned in disbelief.
Our numbers may increase and decrease dramatically in a short period of time. You must
consider the fact that one vampire can turn multiple humans a night and for various purposes
throughout time I have actually seen this done. However, most vampires do not survive their first
decade. Fewer still make it through the first century. The worst cases seem to be orphaned
vampires who go out and create a number of fledglings without having any real idea what being
a vampire is simply because they are lonely. This is why Lucius is known for forcing makers to
take care of their fledglings until they can be on their own and why he has taken in so many
himself. Usually the orphan who makes fledglings for company ends up dying, one way or
another, and the fledglings soon follow. But even with the constant change in number, there are
still quite a few of us on earth, yes. Vampires like to think that their actions have no impact on
the world, that what becomes of mortals is of no concern to us. But there are reasons for our
rules. The reason we pick the sort of person we pick for our victims, the reason we take the little
drink to fill us up when we can, the reason we often destroy the insane among us, it is because,
with our numbers, we could easily wind up taking out the entire human population and without
humans we would then have to feed from animals until, at last, there was nothing left.
I had no idea that we had such a large population. I never dreamed there were cities full of
vampires under the feet of Europeans from one end of the continent to the next. And none of this
made me feel better about what we were going to do. But it isnt as if the vampires live
exclusively in the underground cities. I mean, that is something they just do from time to time,
right?
In some cases, yes, but there are many vampires who refuse to live aboveground. They see
the world we know as nothing more than a hunting ground. They see no need for human
companions and they live night after night only among their own kind. This is why the cities are
so dangerous. This is why I feared for you the first time we came. Such habits eventually turn
vampires cruel, vicious, and they will turn against their own, the weak among them, just as they
would turn on a human. So as soon as we arrive I will establish my authority. If I do not? Chaos
could break out before the sun comes up. He declared.
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When we arrived in London there was no talk of cruel vampires or authority, no talk of
what might happen to us in the City of the Undead. Instead Luke was telling me about the
apartment that would be ours and how he would make sure that I had anything I wanted to make
it feel like home. He promised me that this apartment would be far better than the one Mother
claimed when we were there the last time because of our position of leadership and he assured
me that I would have a magnificent bed within a week to make up for the many months I spent
sleeping in a coffin. No matter what he promised or how well he delivered, I could not imagine a
time when I would feel comfortable in this place. I could not imagine it ever feeling like home. I
only hoped that this favor was not one that would require a decade of service because I feared I
would be quite a dishonorable vampire by the end of the fifth year when I ran like hell and never
looked back.
When we walked into the tavern Drake was behind the bar serving a drink, a very pretty girl
with blonde hair laughing at his side. So this was the one that Kila had told me about, the girl he
wooed in Germany that inspired another story? Oh, what had she said the girls name was? As
we walked up to the bar, Drake gave us a bright smile. I am so glad the two of you could come!
I know that it was sudden but theres been an issue in Pariss city that must be dealt with
immediately and Cinderella has always wanted to see the place so I thought it would be nice for
her if we went. How long can you stay?
Already he was walking away from the bar, leading us toward the closet where the set of
steps could be found. He seemed to be in quite a rush and I wasnt sure if it was because the
problem in Pariss underground city was so great or if he was just ready to be done with the one
he was handing off to us. How long do you need? Luke questioned in return. If we had not
been walking single file down the stairs I probably would have elbowed him for that response.
No more than a year if you could spare that long. If you cannot, I do understand. I rather
enjoy the strange work that I do. Cinderella seems content with it as well. But these places are
not suited for us all. Simply say if it is too much and I can return as soon as possible.
I was so relieved by his answer that I could have kissed him in gratitude. My relief over the
short stay intensified when we reached the vampire city and I saw that the fountain that had sat
empty the last time we came was now flowing with blood. My god! I whispered despite
myself. I wanted to turn and go in that moment. While something like that might have delighted
me when I came the first time, I was no longer deranged.
Dont fret, dear girl. It isnt human. A few of the men down here realized that there was a
butchers shop around the corner from the tavern and after some investigation, they found the
spot inside where the shop owner does his killing. A vampire who is quite famous for his part in
helping to invent the aqueduct systems of ancient Rome was able to create systems of a similar
nature in order to run the blood to the fountain. It doesnt flow always but the butcher does his
killing between nine in the evening and midnight usually. For a few hours after our fountain
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flows red. Drake explained. Knowing it wasnt human, that no mass slaughter of people was
occurring down here for this purpose, made the thing seem nearly fascinating to me. But I would
have plenty of time to investigate it. In the meantime, I accepted my friends invitation to receive
a tour of the place.
Even the most anti-social vampires seemed to like Drake and he introduced us to anyone we
came across as he showed me the way that the city was laid out. The city itself was set up in a
series of three main open circles with another small circle, the part referred to as the Town
Square, in the center. The outer circle was made up entirely of apartments as was most of the
second circle while the third contained shops that sold clothes, books, mapsall of the
necessities of a town without humans. There were no shops selling meat and vegetables, no
places set up to come and dine, though there was a mock restaurant where vampires could
bring willing mortals who would allow a group to sample the little drink from them. By morning
the victims would appear again in the streets of London a bit shaken, a little weak, and
completely unable to remember what happened the night before. As there was only one way into
the city, it was up to Lucania and me to check all humans coming in to ensure that they were
either guilty or willing before they were taken downstairs. The names of the innocents were to be
taken down, each name crossed off as they left, and if an innocent did not come up by dawn we
were to go below and search until a person or a body was found. Punishment was to be passed
down for broken rules (like the murder of an innocent anywhere in the city) and the highest
punishment typically given was a permanent ban on a vampire not just in this city but in all cities
of its kind.
Though the vampires were free once they entered the city to be themselves and to do as they
pleased, the place was clearly regulated as it had to be to prevent mass murders and a fountain
that constantly flowed with human blood. The regulation of the place was in the hands of Luke
and me just as he had said earlier. And just as he promised, as soon as the tour ended he called
for all of the vampires to gather in the Square. Out they came, some waving to Luke as if they
knew him, others eying him with suspicion, but no one spoke after he held up a hand for silence.
Some of you may know me, some might know my name, but for those of you that I have not
had the pleasure of meeting before, I am Lucania, the child of Lucius. This is Arianne, child of
Lucania. For the next few months we will be the authority in this city as Drake attends to
business in Paris. Everyone who enters the city should be aware of the regulations especially as
they relate to the kill and if there are ever questions concerning this, the rules are posted in the
caf. I may also be approached at any time with all questions you may have. I have a very long
history with the cities and I have served as mayor in each European city on many occasions. Any
infractions will be met with punishment immediately! I do not tolerate bullshit, friends. So long
as you give us none, we will all be great friends. Thanks so much. I hope to become acquainted
or reacquainted with you all during our stay.
When he gave a wave of dismissal, many went back to what they had been doing but some
came up to Luke to greet him. I couldnt help but notice that many of those who approached him
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were female. Yes, I thought, this is going to be a great time indeed. I had seen him with many
females of the human sort and even as he fed from them it did not bother me. But there was
something about watching him there surrounded by female vampires who had probably known
him for centuries, watching them giggle like young girls at his words, that really irritated me.
Drake seemed to notice this and gently he took my arm and led me toward the stairs. Luke is
quite old, as you know. He was honest when he said that he has acted as mayor in every city
from Moscow to Madrid. He knows many of our kind and he is quite likeable. You have nothing
to worry about. He said softly as we walked upward toward the tavern.
I know that. Dont you think I know that? But I cannot be the only lover he ever had.
Surely someone without my soul has been with him and I highly doubt that they were all
human.
The noise and the smell of humans hit me as soon as we reached the landing. Putting his
hand gently on my arm, Drake smiled. Yes but they know his tale. They know who you are.
They respect that. There is but one that, should you ever encounter her, you will want to watch.
She now goes by the name of Ishtar. All the rest? Pay them no mind. Even those who once
believed they were madly in love with him would not try to entice him now.
I wanted to shout when he walked away. Who was this woman he spoke of and why would I
need to watch her? Here he was telling me about the running of the tavern, the times to order
more alcohol, where the list of those banned from the city was kept, and all I wanted to know
was who this woman, this Ishtar, was. But in no time Luke had come up and the time for sharing
secrets had passed. Luke was telling me that I would be in charge of the tavern while he handled
matters with the city including the vampires that came in and too soon, it seemed, Drake was
waving goodbye to us with his German princess smiling on his arm.
While I could not have conceived of such a thing the night we arrived in London, I soon
grew to love that tavern and I even enjoyed the time I spent below. It was almost like being back
at Madames and I adored the regulars, both the humans and the vampires that could be counted
on to come in each night. I heard the news of the world while I poured drinks and I listened to
tales of vampires that were passed freely in the underground city. I made friends with some of
our neighbors and I learned that our story really was famous among our kind. Some thought that
it was myth until we arrived. They also knew Kilas tale, though many believed that this had
been made up giving the fact that no one had ever seen her before as their proof. I did not correct
them. If my rose was best kept a secret, hidden with the strongest vampires on earth, than I
assumed that Kila, one famed for her magic, might best be left a myth among our kind. But of
Rapunzel many had a great deal to say.
She was a living legend of the city and she always returned eventually. But she knew
nothing of her own kind, they told me, and though she lived above it for years, she knew nothing
of the world below. I could not believe this. Certainly a vampire who was over five hundred
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years old, someone who had lived with Angelus, knew more than I did of our world. I wanted to
go looking for her but I was told that she was away and had been for yearssomething about a
lover who once toured the world playing a violinand I was left disappointed by the news. I
even went to the place that was reputedly hers outside of the city proper and just as they all said,
I found it abandoned. But as autumn fell upon dear old London, I got a glimpse of the princess at
last. However, that brief meeting left me with more questions than answers.
A beautiful woman walked in the door and it seemed as if the air around me changed. I was
used to the feeling of vampires around me at this point but this was different. Even the mortals in
the place seemed to notice that something was amiss with her. When I looked up I saw
immediately that she was a vampire and that she was scouting the people around her looking for
her kill. I was content enough to leave her to it until I noticed her hair. She had it pinned up
enough to where she wouldnt step on it when she walked but it was clear that the dark brown
tresses hung at an impressive six feet when they were down. So this is the princess, I thought,
and that was when I smiled. There was so much I wanted to say to her, so many questions I
wanted to ask, but I waited for her to approach the bar. When she did I did not wait for her to
speak. I said simply, Its down that hallway. Open the closet at the end of the hall and youll
find the stairs.
Why the hell would I want to go into your closet? I want a drink. Some whiskey if you
have it. She replied looking at me as if I were insane. My god, she had no idea what I was! But
how could this be? How did she not sense that she and I were the same kind? I scanned her
thoughts as I poured her drink and even this did not alert her. She simply continued her
surveillance of the room. Her thoughts confirmed what I had been told. She knew nothing of
Londons underworld. She knew nothing of the history of our kind, of Lucius, she didnt even
realize that her own maker typically ran this place. When she downed her drink and turned to go
I nearly called out to her. There was so much I wanted to tell her, some of it, like the information
about Aurelio, was knowledge that could save her life. The dream was coming back to me, the
one I had in Rome, and I remembered that he had been following her then and he was probably
following her now. But when she reached the door and I worked up the courage to call out, Luke
grabbed my arm. Let her go! He demanded silently.
I had to wait until we closed the tavern to confront him about his interference earlier in the
night. Angelus, one of the most knowledgeable creatures on earth, told her nothing, Lucania!
Not only did he say nothing to her about Aurelio, he told her nothing about us! She doesnt
realize half of the things that she is capable of! She lives her life like a human might. Do you
realize that she raised a mortal child in Scotland until the child died? Can you imagine? She is
not living her life at all. She is blundering through it. How could Angel and Drake allow this?
How could they force her into such ignorance? I demanded, stacking chairs upon tables with a
mighty bang.
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Leave some wood on that surface, will you? Drake abandoned her because he was afraid of
what he had done and he knew that Richard loved her far too much to let her secret out. When he
came back for her she refused to let him teach her anything. She locked him up in her tower
without realizing that it was nothing to escape and he let her go feeling as if she had a right to her
hatred. She hasnt seen him since then. As for Angelus, he wanted to teach her things. He wanted
to tell her everything and show her what she was but she would not allow this. So she left him
none the wiser for having loved the second oldest vampire alive. It was as she wanted it. The two
will find their way back to one another some night and perhaps she will be more willing to learn
what he can teach her then. In the meantime, it is not your place to find her and go against her
wishes.
Yes, lets leave her to die at the hands of a brutal mad vampire because telling her that
Angelus has a brother who might kill her for spite is against her wishes! You realize how
completely daft that sounds, dont you? Do you know what I think the problem is? She is
completely independent, totally on her own, so you all would punish her by leaving her in the
dark because she does not need a man around to make her feel whole! I was quite serious in my
accusation. It was the only thing that made sense. If that were me, Lucania wouldnt give a damn
what I wished to hear. He would have told me what I needed to know in order to protect myself.
But one look at the princess with her head held high made it clear that she was not like me at all.
Grabbing me by the shoulders and spinning me around to face him, it was clear that this
accusation infuriated him. Lets get something clear, little beauty, we are not like them! Those
of us who come from ancient times came from lands where Goddesses were held in the same
revere as their consorts, some of us come from a time and a place where women ruled the home
and the villages while the men went out to do their conquering, and none of us are ignorant
enough to think that females, be they human or vampire, are beneath us simply because they
have a different set of parts! We do not revel in ignorance nor do we need to have a woman put
in her place to feel like men. If that is what you think of Angelus or Lucius or me, shame on you!
Have I ever treated like anything but my equal?
I could have listed times when he had done just that but I had wounded his pride and
vampires had come up from the city to see what was going on above them. So I dropped the
whole conversation. I wrote Angel and I told him that I had seen Rapunzel, that she looked well
as far as I could see, but that I feared for her. I told him of the dream I had had of his brother and
how he had been stalking her when I saw him. I told him I thought she needed to know what was
happening in our world and the danger she was in. But when he wrote back he said only to leave
it alone. He assured me that he had friends who watched over her wherever she went from a
distance because she would be furious if she knew and he promised that no harm would come to
her while gently chastising me for suggesting he would leave her defenseless. She never returned
to our tavern and in time thoughts of her faded though I never forgot that one glimpse I had of
the vampire who once held a great king enthralled both as a mortal and in immortality.
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As the end of our year of service came around I made a decision. I wanted to see the other
cities full of our kind. Luke and I hadnt talked of our plans, of where we would go when Drake
returned, and when he wrote us telling us that he was coming back, I suggested to Luke that we
travel Europe and see the other places. He was hesitant at first but eventually he agreed, saying
only that he wished to avoid the city below Paris and the city below Rome. Some of the others
decided to travel with us and when Drake appeared with Cinderella still at his side, we all made
our plans to go. I had enjoyed my time in Londons City of the Undead more than I would ever
admit but it was time for a new scene. We left that night and traveled north to Glasgow where a
city existed that had attracted others who were witches in their mortal lives, others like Kila,
though none were as powerful. Some of them knew our friend once but they believed she was
dead. Again I did not correct them. If she wanted to be found she would make her presence
known.
After spending time in Dublins city and Dresdens, Moscows and Amsterdams, it became
clear that, like mortal cities, each place that the undead claimed had its own vibe. Many of the
underground places had vampires who were permanent residents, vampires who had lived in the
country all of their lives, and the culture of the country above was just as important below.
Dublin, for instance, was host to Irish poets and musicians, and the city refused admittance to
English vampires until England agreed to relinquish its unjustified control over the nation these
vampires loved so much in life. Moscows city was home to dancers and painters, large vampires
who sang Russian opera, and it was here that I first heard the things that a vampires voice was
capable of. There was no note we could not hit, for instance, from the highest to the lowest and it
was absolutely nothing for us to do something that certain factions of monks were known for,
activating multiple vocal chords at once to produce an otherworldly sound. I also learned that our
singing could put a human under a spell as sure as our eyes could. It does not need to be directed
the way a glamour does. All it takes is the opening of ones mouth and the right notes coming
out. Once I discovered this, I started singing with the Russian legends around me who had all
taken the stage over the centuries. Some of them had even known Annalise. This was the
knowledge that made me go in search of another city, another place, where I could again be
anonymous.

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Chapter 5
This move led us south to Prague. As soon as we entered this strange underground world I
recognized that this place was an exception to the mimicry I had seen in all the others. Instead of
being a replica of the city above, this place was made to look like the Egypt of thousands of
years earlier. Sand had even been brought there to cover the hard stone ground. The ceiling,
despite its massive height from the ground, was painted dark blue on one side with stars and the
moon looking down upon the people while on the other side the sky looked as bright as the
desert at noon. As we walked, I took in the shapes of the apartments, the flow of water that was
no doubt meant to represent the Nile flowing through the city, and the fake plants that were
placed here and there. We had been guests in nearly every major underground world and I had
never seen anything like this before in our travels. Take me to your queen. Luke said to a boy
dressed like the temple slaves in the old books I had once poured over.
His queen? I asked, quite confused by this. In no other immortal place had a vampire held
such a title.
This place is run by a vampire who claims to be an Ancient Mesopotamian queen and she
demands that her subjects here treat her as such. She is not what she claims to be. Shes less than
a thousand years old and she is as Greek as I am, made by Lucius of course. But her lies do no
one harm so we all let her go on with them. He replied under his breath. So the river was meant
to be the Tigris perhaps, or the Euphrates, and this was not a little Egypt but rather a little
Mesopotamia? This woman, whoever she was, had insane delusions of grandeur, that much was
sure.
We were taken into a place that was a perfect replica of an ancient temple and when we
walked inside there sat a woman on a throne made of marble in a light linen dress, her long black
hair covered by a see-through white veil though her face remained uncovered, and a golden
crown with the shapes of leaves and birds holding the veil in place. On either side of her there
were teenage boys, or immortals who looked as if they had been teenagers when they were
turned, fanning her despite the fact that there was no reason to do so. In addition to that, scenes
depicting her and statues made to resemble her were displayed on either side of the room. It took
all I had not to roll my eyes at this pompous bitch and I had to lock down my mind to make sure
she could not hear my thoughts because I instantly disliked her. Ah, Lucania, my dear friend, it
has been so long since youve come to pay me a visit. To what do I owe this pleasure? Has your
heart at last grown to miss me?
This had me raising my eyebrows. She was ignoring me completely, looking at Luke as if he
would make a delightful meal, and my dislike turned instantly to hatred. My beloved and I have
been traveling the cities in Europe. In fact, weve just come from the City of the Undead in
Moscow. As you know, this city is one of a kind and I wondered if she and I might stay awhile
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here so she can see it. We acted as mayors in London and she has been fascinated by our cities
since then. He said with a smile, taking my hand in his as if to demonstrate his commitment to
me. I tried to smile, truly I did, but when I saw the look of disgust on her face I had a brief
fantasy of lunging at her and scratching out her eyes as I toppled her from that ridiculous throne
of hers.
You know I do not protect mortals in my city. If they are here, they are fair game. She
replied with her eyes locked on mine.
I am not mortal. Can you not tell the difference in the two? I retorted.
Luke squeezed my hand hard and I heard what his mind was telling me. The vampires down
here truly worshipped her and while they were weak in spirit, they were older and stronger than
me physically. I needed to be careful. I replied simply that I wanted to leave at once but the bitch
before me smiled. Of course. What happened to the last girl, Lucania? The little slave you
brought here centuries ago?
She was not a slave. She was a gypsy. She died and was reborn and now she stands before
you as a vampire named Arianne, my immortal love. Surely youve heard the tales. Everyone
has. They were all true just as I once told you and here stands the proof of them. My dear
Arianne, this is Queen Ishtar, child of Lucius and ruler of this place. He looked over at me and
he smiled warmly yet he paused as if he were expecting something from me. If he thought I
would bow before this imposter when I once rubbed elbows with the grandson of the Sun King,
he was quite confused.
And Arianne is the child of?
She is mine, of course. So do you have a free room or shall we look around and then head
on? Luke asked with a hint of impatience in his tone. I wanted her to say that there was no place
for us but I knew better. The way she looked at him told me that she would toss out all of her
loyal subjects to make room for Lucania. She was the one Drake had warned me about that first
night in London, the one he said I had to watch out for. Now I knew why. She was a liar and a
snake.
Of course there is room. I shall have my page boy show you to the finest room we have, my
dear. I cannot wait to catch up on old times during your stay. We have much to discuss it seems.
And Arianne, it was so nice to meet my competition. She said with the most vindictive smile.
You are no competition to me, Ishtar. There is no one that I compete with for I have all I
want already. I replied with a cold grin of my own.
In beauty, my dear. You are the first vampire to visit us that might compare to me in
beauty.
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Giving a mock bow, I raised my eyes to meet hers as I said as kindly as I could, Again,
Your Majesty, I have no competition. Good night to you.
It was all I could do to stay calm as one of the Queens slaves showed us to a room that
was truly beautiful. A floor of marble, walls of a soft stone, sand stone perhaps, a bed that looked
uncomfortable despite the primitive mattress of sorts but rather in keeping with the period, and
the most extraordinary murals made of glass or colored stone decorating the walls made it the
most pleasant room I had occupied yet in a vampire city. But the beauty of the room was not
enough to take the sting out of the situation I found myself in. Why the hell did you bring me
here? I demanded of Luke as we walked the streets of the city we had spent so much time in
when we had our home in the forest. It had not changed a great deal in the years that had passed
but I imagined it would be quite different the next time I came because I would never return to
Prague as long as that woman lived below its streets. Did you want to show me that once you
had immortal lovers as if I had not guessed that already or did you simply forget that she is the
one out of the lot who thinks she is your lover still?
How do you know anything about Ishtar and me? And just what is it that you think you
know? I was never in love with her if that is what you think. In truth, she never loved me either.
She simply believes that in immortality she should have whatever she wants and I was the one
thing she could never claim. But it is as you told her back there. You have no competition. I
brought you here because even if she is one of the most pretentious vampires you will ever meet,
she has done interesting things to the city and I thought you might like to see them. I did not
expect her to behave that way after she saw you at my side. I apologize for that. If you want to
go, we can go.
I laced my fingers in his when he took my hand. I believed him when he said that he
hadnt expected her to act that way and I knew my battle wasnt with him. But there was a battle
still and I was not retreating. If we go she will think that she can stake claim on you if we ever
see her again. Since we are here already and the city is quite interesting, well stay and by the
time we leave there will be no doubt in her mind that you are mine alone. I declared.
He nodded as if he understood my position and after we fed he led me back to the little
Mesopotamian-inspired world that Ishtar had created. This city was built in a rectangle as were
the apartments. The architecture included columns that were no more ornate than they should be
for the time and, just like cities back then, the little river (which, as I was told, was running
directly from an underground stream that the humans above did not know how to harness if they
knew it existed at all) was the center of this world. Some of the silk and cloth vegetation that
sat around the water looked so real that I had to touch it to confirm that it was fake. But it was
the murals that interested me the most. Inside every room there was art of this sort, all through
the walls outside as well, and they were so perfect that, like the painted ceiling, they made one
feel as if they had indeed stepped back in time into this world. Angelus painted many of them.
Lucius helped as well but his skill lies with the textured murals, the ones like the lion and the
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snake on our wall. He knows this art well. What he did not experience on earth as a vampire, he
was able to see from his place with the Gods. Neither of them is fond of Ishtar but they could not
pass up a chance to touch the time closest to their birth in this way. They helped her design all of
this. They brought in skilled vampires to transform this place and the same vampire who made
the fountain in London flow red found the water source to create the little river. Do you see why
I brought you? Do you know that I never meant to wound you, little beauty?
Yes, of course. I practically whispered as I let him lead me to the royal library. There
were scrolls of papyrus here but there were empty and when I asked why they remained blank, I
was startled by Ishtar who had come up behind us at some point.
I have no scribes in this place who can transcribe in the old writing. She explained. I had
those made, all ready for the story of our kind to be written out, only to find that no one, not even
Lucius, can write it out.
If she had had one of her loyal subjects at her side, I would have asked her why she couldnt
write in what was supposed to be her native script but there seemed to be no point in it. I
believed Lucius, Angelus, and possibly Luke as well had all lied to her concerning their inability
to do this thing. To be honest, I could not believe she couldnt do it on her own. A vampires
mind can grasp any form of language, written or spoken, almost instantly. As soon as it catches
certain patterns, instant observations, it has all it needs and we can speak a new language fluently
within moments as I had with Keenan and his Irish Gaelic tongue. When I commented to this
affect and I offered to write the story out if she had some piece of the writing to demonstrate it
for me, she laughed in my face. As if you could. It is a dead language. Now if you will follow
me
The fact that it is a dead language is irrelevant. I had a knack for languages in life and it has
only increased since I became a vampire. All I need is an example. At once, Luke requested a
quill and ink as well as parchment. Just as I suspected, he was able to show me the alphabet
thereby demonstrating that he could write the language. I laughed outright at the fact that even as
he wrote it, Ishtar did not catch on to the fact that he could have done this for her long ago.
It took most of the night but by the light of a candle and with Luke watching over my
shoulder, I wrote out the tale of how we began just as it was told to me. Though the quill wasnt
quite the way it would have been done five thousand years earlier, it looked authentic enough.
The best part was that I knew the fool who set up the city and the simpletons who followed her
would never be able to read a word of it. I could have taught her and I would have gladly
offeredif she had been a vampire with a decent character. As it stood, I decided to leave her
with her ignorance. Now and then I would feel her standing in the doorway watching Luke and
me as we worked, her eyes burning into me, and twice I tried to read her thoughts only to find
that locking her mind was one skill she had acquired.
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As soon as I had laid the scrolls out to dry, I heard a blood curdling scream that sent Luke
and me out of the room and into the center of the city. A person was lying on the other side of
the water grabbing for the wrist that the vampire above him had just opened. I had no idea what
was going on but I watched as the man sucked greedily as if he was a vampire himself and then
he appeared to lose consciousness. I sat down on my side of the river to watch the scene before
me. Luke sat next to me saying nothing which was what I wanted. I had the feeling that this,
whatever it was, was very important, that it was something I would want to study and figure out
on my own. So that is what I did even as the terrible stench of human waste hit my sensitive
senses and the mans beige breeches and leggings showed the evidence of this. It appeared as if
he was dead yet something told me to stay, to watch, so I did. When Luke reached for my hand I
was barely conscious of it and though I thought this action strange, I gave it to him. How long
did we sit like that? An hour perhaps? Maybe longer. The vampire who had fed the man
remained at his side staring at him as if he were waiting for something to happen and then
suddenly the man let out a gasp. As he sat up I watched his hair change before my eyes. It
became the mane of a vampire, fuller with a noticeable sheen, his skin was drained of all color,
and after the gasp he let out I noticed there was blood on his lip where his fang had punctured it.
In seconds it healed as he looked helplessly to the vampire at his side.
I got up and walked away as the newborn vampire was investigating his hands, looking
back and forth between them and the one who had just made him apparently against his will or at
the least, without his permission, the one who sat silent with a smirk on his face as if what he had
done was the greatest joke. I was disgusted by all of this and I was confused. It was one thing to
kill the guilty in front of your vampire brothers and sisters but I thought it something altogether
different to turn a man into a monster in public like that and then to sit and offer no comfort or
explanation as the new creature tried to figure out what had become of him. That was
unquestionably cruel! And what about the things I had seen of the mans body? I hadnt done
that! Yes, my love, you did. Though you dont recall it, you were in great pain as your body
died. Unlike that man out there who is probably high from the taverns of the world above, you let
out pitiful moans. I knew the change was through when I held you before me and I saw that,
although your eyes were closed, you were crying your first blood tears. I cleaned you up before
we entered Paris using water stolen from a farmers well. I couldnt take you into the city like
that and I did not want you to see such a mess when you awoke. I tried to make everything as
perfect for you as I could. Unfortunately, that newborn out there was made because the vampire
beside of him was bored and needed a bit of sport for the night. The one who made him is less
than a year old. I predict they will both be dead in five years time. I should have warned you
when you sat that you were about to see the transformation.
But I remember nothing! His hair, his nails, his skinthey didnt change until he woke up.
Did I wake up as I was still in the process of changing, of dying? I asked.
No. Many do not but it depends. You cannot predict how the change will go because it is
different for everyone. The wounded and those who are very ill tend to stay unconscious
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throughout the physical death of the mortal body while those who are healthy at the time might
wake up before it is through or they may remain conscious the entire time. I am happy you
remember none of it. Its better that way. You dont recall the pain. You did not have to
experience horror at watching your body change like that before your eyes. It was as I wished it
for you.
Something occurred to me suddenly, something I hadnt even entertained before. Were
there others before me besides Cherise? Do you or did you ever have many fledglings?
We were sitting on our uncomfortable bed and I chanced a look over at him, feeling relief
when I saw shock on his face. No, of course not! You are my only aside from Cherise and the
two of you will always be my only fledglings. I used to watch Lucius when he turned people
because I always knew I wanted to pass this on to you when the time was right. The first time he
turned someone before me, he told me each step of the process from the time he bit his neck until
he awoke a vampire, walking me through it all so I would know what to do when the time came.
But I felt no need to practice it until I met the sweet young girl in London. Besides, he told me
the blood is quite strong if it is only given on a few occasions and that it would grow stronger as
I aged. When we come into places like this and I tell you to be cautious it is more because you
have not had as much time to develop your speed or technique as some of the vampires here have
had. I do not worry about your strength, my girl. You are not as strong as I am but you could
easily take someone hundreds of years older than yourself in a fight. This is why, in our cities,
we give the name of the one who made us. This gives those around us an idea of our strength.
Now, a vampire can increase their general strength, not just with age but also with things like
magic. Magic enhances the soul regardless of what shell the soul resides in which, in our case,
given the lack of physical barriers we accept, increases our physical strength as well as the power
of our magic.
All of this was interesting and it was important information but my mind was stuck on the
image of that bastard sitting beside of his newborn fledgling smirking at his fear. Without
warning, I threw my arms around Lukes neck and I kissed him with passion and gratitude.
Thank you for making my change as easy as it could be. I am glad you waited. If you had a
large number of fledglings somewhere I believe it would hurt as much as you having another
lover. You did everything right, even remembering to clean the filth off of me so I would never
have to know of it. You are an excellent maker, Lucania.
I did exactly what Lucius did for me
Against his lips I whispered, I am about to make love to you so you can accept my thanks
alone or I can call out to Lucius and share my gratitude with him. It is entirely your choice.
I giggled girlishly as he flipped me onto my back in the blink of an eye and he bit my bottom
lip drawing from it a little blood that he licked at greedily. You are mine alone for all time. That
is what the dark blood gave us. Let the fools in this place believe it is something to be toyed with
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and passed around. Five hundred years from now you and I will still be standing together long
after they have all met their doom. He whispered with conviction as he drove into me.
If I had known what would soon befall us I would have held him a little tighter to me when
the sun came up on what had felt like the longest night. I would have whispered I-Love-You
until he begged me to be quiet. I would have done everything I could to make sure that he could
never forget the feel of my touch or the way that his heart ached with love for me. Actually, I
would have done none of those things. If I had known what was to come, I would have gotten
out of bed as soon as we were done making love, I would have casually strolled down to the
local temple, and I would have killed a queen.
In the span of a week Luke and I found that we were spending far more time aboveground
than below and we made plans to move on. The wretched creature who turned a human into a
vampire for the sport of it was hardly the worst vampire that we saw in that place. It became
apparent by the end of the second night that this was the city that our kind came to when they
had a permanent ban placed on them for all of the others in Europe just as it was clear that the
reason they came was the fact that Ishtar had absolutely no rules. Mass murders of innocent
people, whole bands of Gypsies and others who were unfortunate enough to simply be passing
through Prague, often ended up slaughtered below the city, their bodies dumped in the woods
aboveground just before dawn. Often the little river that seemed so charming when we first came
ran with the blood of tortured humans and the screams could be heard through the walls. I could
take no more and frankly, either could my companion. Just before dawn on the seventh evening
there as we discussed our plans to move on he assured me that when he had come centuries
before it was nothing like it now appeared, blaming the position of power that Ishtar had given
herself for the change in rules. This entire conversation was carried on from his mind to my own
and we believed that no one overheard us. We thought our minds were locked tight against the
outside world. So when we lay down, we assumed we would be far from the city by the next
night.
As soon as I awoke I was startled to hear drums pounding in a beat that reminded me of a
heart outside my room. I reached for Luke only to find the other side of bed was empty. Getting
up and putting on my clothes, I felt almost disoriented when I walked outside. The torches and
the sconces that were lit constantly in this place had all been extinguished but there was a red
flicker of light coming from the riverside. Following the light and the sound of the drums, I
found a large majority of the city gathered by the edge of the water before a great bonfire but as I
scanned the crowd I saw no sign of Luke. Because there was a bit of space at the end of the
waterside, I intended to go around whatever these lunatic vampires were up to in order to cross
over and head up, assuming Luke and I could be on our way as soon as I found him. If we had
anything left in the room, it could be replaced. My senses were telling me I needed to get the hell
out of that place as soon as possible. Going so soon, little one? Please, stay for a drink. I insist.
Tonight is the night of the Akitu Festival, a day once held holy by my people as the start of the
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New Year. We have plenty of blood. Just a little wont hurt. A toast for good luck before you go
on your way.
I wanted to laugh at her, to call out her lies as the city she claimed she was from never
celebrated this festival, but I saw no harm in having a drink before I left. I would humor her and
then I would be free of her nonsense forever. Moving forward, I faked a smile as I accepted the
goblet she handed me but I did not try to hide it when I smelled the contents to make sure it was
warm human blood. Finding that it was and seeing the bodies stacked beside the stream that was
again running red, I tried not to think of the innocent soul it was coming from as I drank it down.
With a quick goodbye I turned to go but I made it no more than a few feet before the world
seemed to shift around me, to contort, to pop out. The fire was not simply dancing with its
shadows on the walls, it was alive! It was alive and it was coming closer and closerthe faces
around me were pressing closer as well, suffocating me even as they grinned in monstrous ways.
Everyone was laughing but I couldnt understand why. I was absolutely terrified!
Suddenly Luke was in front of me and he was talking, frantic, asking questionsI heard
none of it. I was too lost in his face, in how beautiful it was but also grotesque at the same time.
With my hands I traced it and what I found was not the face of a living thing. It was like a white
porcelain mask void of all lines, all creases, all softness that might have made it feel human. He
was a living statue! Yes he walked and yes he talked but wasnt his skin already so much harder,
colder, less human than my own? How long would it be before his legs moved no longer, before
he could not move his arms? When that happened I would not let him suffer. He would go into
the fire and I would go with him. To hold him, to make sure he knew love in his last moments, to
promise I would find him again. But what was I waiting for? Why wait until this unspeakable
thing happened to him, something that would leave me in the terrible position of choosing
between watching him suffer and sending us both to the flames? I was beyond pain at that
moment, beyond rational thought. Who punishes a vampire for suicide? God does not care about
us and the devil wouldnt want us around. Best to do it now. The fire was so close, I had only to
stand and walk a few feet and Arianne, Im opening your wrist. I have to drain what I can.
Youll feed as soon as Im done but I have to I held out my arm, forever his willing victim,
and I felt only disappointment when the pain of his fangs in my flesh failed to register in my
mind.
I had never been so weak in all of my immortal life! Luke was supporting the majority of
my weight until he laid me down in a patch of grass that was right at the border between the
town and the countryside beyond it. A man was walking and as Luke walked away from me I
could hear him whisper a prayer of forgiveness. He seemed to think my need was great though I
could not remember what had happened to bring me to this point. The human he brought back to
me was unconscious which was for the best because if he had been able to struggle, he would
have been my first intended victim to ever get away. I was greedy in that moment and I would
have kept drinking after the heart stopped just to get every drop of the vital liquid out of the
mans body. But Luke would not allow this. He covered the wounds that did not heal on their
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own and he scanned the road for a while before swearing under his breath. Whatwhats the
matter? What has happened to me? Am I dying? I questioned. Nothing else made sense.
Sickness couldnt touch me. A vampire only had two states: well and dead. Or so I believed.
Of course you arent dying. But I am left without any choice except to go back to that
hellish place until evening comes. The sun is less than twenty minutes away. The sky is already
lighter. I have no time to dig a hole. Picking me up, he took off at his top speed. Back under the
streets in that horrible city of the damned, he did not take me back to our room. He decided
instead that we would sleep as close to the only exit as we could and as soon as he awoke we
would leave.
But what the hell happened? I questioned again. The whole place was silent around us as
if everyone was asleep already.
Holding me so tight he left no doubt that he feared for me, he said, She told me it was the
blood of a human who had consumed opium, a great deal of it. Have you ever heard of opium? I
shook my head to tell him I had not. All of your reading and you never came across the tales? It
is a plant from places like Mesopotamia and if it is smoked, eaten, or sniffed it can cause one to
see visions that are so real they mistake them for reality. You were going on and on about my
face when I came to you, something about it being a mask, and then you rose and you were
walking straight toward the fireI have never seen anything like that in an immortal. I have seen
vampires who felt drunk from taking the blood of a human who has consumed too much at the
tavern but opium is not something I would have imagined a vampire brain would be affected by
in any way. I dont know why. If you were as old as me you would have likely been fine as I
have been fine Suddenly he stopped. Worried, I looked up suddenly and I asked what the
matter was. In a response that was strange for him, he said, Ive forgotten. Lets sleep, girl. Just
sleep. His words should have alarmed me. They sounded nothing like him. But so much had
happened and I was so tired, so weak, that sleep sounded too good to question.
When I awoke in the sand, the city was back to normal and Luke was not at my side. I
thought perhaps he had gone out to feed so I went out to do the same as I looked for him. But
after drinking my fill and looking all over Prague, I was forced to return to the damned city
empty handed. As soon as I went below one of the slave boys came up to me. Ive been
looking for you. The Queen demands to see you immediately.
I dont have time to play pretend with Ishtar right now so you can tell her
The one you seek is with her and if you ever wish to see him again, you will follow me.
The boy demanded, grabbing my arm and literally pulling me forward. I delivered a hard blow to
his hand in order to get him off of me but I followed him after the physical grip was broken. In
those moments as I walked silently behind this foolish creature I felt true fear rise up inside of
me. What the hell had she done to Lucania? I knew I would kill her. Never had I thought of
taking the life of a vampire quite as vividly as I thought of this as we walked. No matter what it
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was that she had done, no matter how minor, I would kill her for doing Luke harm. I was almost
relieved when I walked inside the heavy open doors and I saw my love standing in front of Ishtar
on her throne. However, the relief was short lived for when I walked up to him and I put my
hand on his arm, he looked at me as if he had never seen me before and he jerked away from my
touch. Yes, get a good look at him, Arianne. This is the last time you will ever see him. Be
grateful I am giving you this goodbye.
My laughter came forth in a way that was far more menacing than a threat might have been.
Is that so? You seem to be rather sure of yourself considering Lucania has made it clear since
the night we came that he is mine. Come on, my love, lets get out of here. We dont want to
waste a moment of the night.
Again, when I took his hand he jerked away from me and then he said the words that would
forever put a crack in my notion of immortal love. Moving toward Ishtar and away from me he
declared, Do not call me your love! You are not my love! I dont even know you! I live to serve
the glorious Queen and my heart belongs to her!
It was not that I believed these words were coming from Luke, the Luke that truly existed.
He honestly had no idea who I was. Clearly some form of magic was at work. It was the fact that
anything, even magic, could make him forget me that cracked open my understanding of what
we had. I think I actually clutched my chest so great was the pain in my heart when he said these
things to me. I had no idea if this transformation was temporary or permanent but I remember
feeling at that moment as if the taking of ones memories could not be reversed and that I had
forever lost my great love. I wanted to weep, to beg at his feet, to implore him to remember. But
just like the girl I had been at eighteen who refused to beg him to let me stay even as he was
casting me out of his life, I would not show this weakness. Not in front of my enemy.
It was my rage I called up as I did what I had imagined doing the first time I saw her. I
lunged at Ishtar on her throne knocking her over and once I had her on the ground I brought the
fury of hell down upon her. I recalled what Luke had told me about my strength and I called on
every ounce of it as I pounded my fists into her face, going so far as to try to tear her eyes out of
their sockets. She tried to fight me but her strength was truly nothing compared with my own.
However, I was knocked back across the room by a mighty blow. I realized it was Luke who had
struck me when I saw him coming after me. I had landed just outside the temple doors and when
he got to the doorway, the doors closed with a loud thud before me separating us at once. In vain
I tried to open them thinking that Luke and I could battle all the way out of the city. It would be a
painful fight, lover against lover, but it would save him from whatever that evil wretch had done.
I was willing to go to such an extreme no matter what he did to me in the process. But the doors
refused to open as surely as the bedchamber door that had separated us in our house in the
woods. He was attempting to open them from the inside so he could destroy me as I was trying to
open them from the outside to save him and neither of us could manage it.
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When he moved away from the door and I could hear them on the other side making love I
slid down against the wall weeping in despair. I had to think. If magic had caused this, surely
magic could undo it. I regretted now the time that had passed since I had last worked at my craft
as I tried to think of something to open that damned door, something to get him out of there. But
as the night turned into day and then another night came and I remained outside that door
listening to the sounds of my true love as he loved another, my thoughts moved from regretting
that I had stopped working on magic to regretting that I had allowed myself to love him like I
did. I thought not of spells to help us but of Kila and Rapunzel who went on night after night
without men at their sides, without the burden of such a love in their hearts, and I thought of the
messes they avoided by being the sort of women they were. They never had to worry about being
crippled over a lover withdrawing his affections from them because they were whole unto
themselves. Compared with them I imagined I was quite a pathetic vampire indeed.
Immortality should have provided me with the strength to get up, to walk away from the city
and Lucania, and never look back. I even attempted it once after sitting in the same place for five
days without hunting for blood only to find that I could not. Not even to hunt could I leave him
there alone. I was drinking from the river of blood and feasting from victims, some of them
innocent, that one young man who had been so devoted to Ishtar when I arrived brought me each
night. I was tormenting myself to prevent leaving Lucania while on the other side of the door he
was touching another woman in such a way that their cries filled the city even louder than those
of the defenseless brought down to be murdered.
On the seventh night when the boy brought me a victim he did not walk away silently as he
had all the nights before. He sat down at my side and he watched as I fed, something none of my
close companions had ever done, and then he took the body away only to return moments later to
sit once more at my side. It was a spell. I had no idea such things were possible but I watched
her make it the day before the feast while the two of you slept. She knew you were leaving and
she refused to let him go. She said you had stolen him somehow but I know that isnt true. I
know who you are, both of you, I know your story. She put the spell in that blood you drank
along with the opium knowing how it would affect you, knowing he would suck out the blood to
help you, and that he would not feed afterward to taint the spell because he would be full already
from hunting earlier. She knew he was too old to feel the drug as you felt it. She laughed as if it
was a great joke. But what she has done is the worst kind of sin. Even mortals speak of your
love, the love of the beauty and the beast. Immortals worship the story as a beacon of hope on
their darkest journeys. She had no right to come in between that!
I could hear Lucania and Ishtar inside their little temple talking and laughing as if they were
happier than either of them had ever been in their lives. I had no idea how they were getting
blood but I knew they had to be. Were they sharing it from one another, biting into each others
wrists and necks as he and I did in that most intimate way? Standing up, I was full of bitterness
unlike any I had known before it. This was the end. I was tired of hearing stories about a great
love that apparently never existed. I was tired of waiting on that bastard I had given everything
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for to realize that he loved me once more. I punched the door so hard that I heard the wood
splinter yet it all remained intact. If our love was so great it could have survived this. If his love
was as strong as mine he could have never forgotten me just as I never forgot him. Lifetime after
lifetime I died and was reborn without the memories of my lives before yet as soon as I saw him
I knew him. I did not know how I knew him but I knew immediately that I loved him. And this
was all it took to get him to forget everything? It seems, dear boy, that this love was one sided
and I am through with that goddamned beast! Let Ishtar have him. Ive had enough!
For the longest time I stood staring at the doors before I turned my back on them and I strode
with my head held high toward the exit. You wont be going anywhere, friend. Shes used
boulders to block the way out! The boy shouted. I thought he was lying in an attempt to get me
to stay so his romantic dreams might be fulfilled for a happy ending to this story. I smirked at the
idea of falling for something so stupid. But when I reached the way out I found that it was as he
said. Huge boulders that were as unmovable as the doors to the temple blocked the way. So her
intention is what? To have us all remain down here and starve until some mortal comes two
hundred years from now and finds us all mummies who burst into flames with the first touch of
light? I am trying to leave, you goddamned idiot! I am giving you what you want! You might
want to let me loose!
Her laughter echoed as loud as her cries of passion had all the nights before. Summoning all
the power I could I sent out a gust that blew down walls, whipped up water, and toppled fake
plants but still the door and the boulder remained in place. I had destroyed every apartment in the
city. As I laid down to dream at last, done with my constant vigil, I was able to take comfort in
the fact that all of those who had followed Ishtar would have no beds, no homes, and they would
be almost as miserable as I was. I decided that when I awoke I would formulate a plan. I had
changed my mind about this entire situation. Like hell would I give up the man I loved. If he
didnt remember me and there was no way to reverse what had been done, I would simply make
him love me all over again. Fighting the voice that said no spell should have been able to make
him turn away from me, I was resolved to fight to the death if I needed to in order to free
Lucania from Ishtars web of delusion.
Wake up! Wake up! Something is happening, someone is coming! The boy who often fed
me declared as he shook me repeatedly in an annoying fashion. I swatted at him as if he were a
gnat, not ready yet to relinquish a dream where Luke and I were together again and we were
dancing in a room of wood and mirrors. But then I heard a rumble rather close to where I lay that
had me jumping up at once. Someone was trying to bust through the rock that closed us in and all
we could do was stand and wait to see if the stranger would succeed, hoping all the while that it
was an immortal who had found us.
Kila burst through the entrance to the city in a blaze of fury, her hair tossed this way and that
by the force of her blast. I had no idea how she knew to come or where she knew to look but I
was quite glad to see my friend. So where is that bitch? Id like to get this over with. Ive had a
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score to settle with her for a long, long time. She declared, brushing the bits of stone from her
sleeves as she walked toward me. Those who had been so devoted to their Queen just moments
before stepped aside in wonder at what they beheld before them. How could they not? Kila
looked like every regal enchantress that had ever graced the pages of fantasy. When she grabbed
my arm and pulled me forward, I was proud to be at her side. Yet at the same time I felt guilt that
again I had to rely on her to save me from a sticky situation. Ah, let me guess, she lives inside
the temple? Of course she does. That stupid cow! And again, with just a flick of her hand, she
blew the doors to Ishtars hide out wide open. There sat Luke at the feet of the woman rubbing
them gently as if he were a love sick boy. The adoration in his eyes as he looked at her
absolutely turned my stomach. Lucania, you are a vampire who has triple the strength and nine-
times the common sense as this crazy delusional bitch and if you dont get your arse off that
floor right this instant, I cannot be held responsible for what I will do to you! Kila declared.
Like a puppy he scurried toward us, standing at a distance from me and looking at me as if
some memory was trying to return but before I could get my hopes up, he turned his head away.
Knowing that he had endured what I felt in that moment every time he found me again was
enough to break my heart. Ah, so the Highland Banshee lives on, does she? Tell me, how goes
things with your peasant? Has Erebus eviscerated him yet?
His name is Aurelio, Delia, not Erebus. Besides being ignorant, selfish creatures the two of
you also share a common bond in pretending to be something you are not. He, for instance, is not
the lord of darkness and you were a gutter whore Lucius took pity on in the filthy streets of
Apollonia. Quite a long way from an ancient Mesopotamian Queen especially when one
considers the fact that you are barely a century older than I am. And I havent come here to talk
to you, to discuss my life, the Goddess knows I dont give a fuck about your own, Ive come to
do what I have wanted to do since you lured Gavin from his home and me into the arms of a
bastard that only you would be idiot enough to serve! Youve taken something that did not
belong to you for the last time, old girl.
Ishtar, or Delia as she was apparently known once, could not have looked more bored with
this entire conversation. I was simply standing there watching her smirking to myself because I
knew what she apparently did not. I knew what Kila was capable of. And I could not wait to see
her destroy the mock queen on her feeble throne. None of her subjects would enter now though I
could hear them whispering outside the doorway. It wouldnt matter if they all came inside. If
she had to, Kila would destroy each one of them to get to the one she came for. But the way
Ishtar sat before us picking at her glass-like nails made it clear that she was oblivious to
everything. Ah, there it is. Now, what are we talking about exactly? Are we talking about
Lucania, who certainly does not belong to that feeble mouse at your side, or are we talking about
the peasant who didnt even know that you existed by the end of his time with me? He wanted
excitement. He wanted to see the world. He did not want to be tied down to some Highland bitch
who was more savage than human as she cast her spells in corners and pretended always to be
the man in the relationship. He used to cry out my name, you know, and when I left him in Italy
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he begged on his knees for me to stay. I bet he still doesnt know you exist. Why should he care?
He has already known and lost the greatest love hell ever find. Besides, I dont fear you. If you
had the power Erebus once claimed, you could have saved the peasant from me and you damned
sure would have saved yourself from Erebus! You are weak. You were always weak. And all you
did was waste your makers time!
It happened so quickly that the screams registered before the action did. Kila shaped a ball of
fire from thin air and she threw it at her opponent before Delia could even move. I should have
been horrified by the sight of her, flailing around in vain as the fire consumed her from head to
toe, I should have covered my ears against her pitiful cries, but I watched and I listened and I
knew true joy in my heart as she was consumed. Luke made a move forward as if he was going
to go to her and it took Kila and me both to hold him down. When I saw the blood tears
streaming down his cheeks as she burned to ash I could no longer remind myself that he had no
idea who I was or what I meant to him. I slapped him so hard across the face that I heard
something crack and I realized by the way he held his cheek that it had been his bones. I had to
get away from him, away from the smell of smoke and ash, away from this terrible city that had
ruined a brilliant adventure. Though I knew it wasnt possible, I could have sworn that my still
heart was truly thudding in my chest when I made it outside. I was in a panic! This to me was
only further proof that I was a shabby excuse for a vampire.
When Kila brought Luke out, I was in tears. I knew his face would heal by the time we left
Prague but it did not stop the guilt from coming at the fact that I had hurt him in the first place.
Standing upright at once from my position of leaning forward, I stroked the place where the
bones were broken, two at least by my estimation, and I tried not to feel the pain when he
attempted to back away. Taking my fingernail, I punctured my wrist as I begged him to drink.
Please, my love, take it. It will heal you. And when he cautiously leaned down to meet the
wound, I stroked his hair saying softly, I am so sorry. I had no right to do that. But she is not the
woman you love, Lucania! She is not who you would risk your own death to save! Its me,
goddamn it! Cant you remember now? It has always been me! But when he had enough he
backed away, screaming in agony as the bones healed themselves instantly. It would pass in a
minuet, this pain, but I held him to me anyway, demanding, Even if you dont remember, what I
say is truth so wrap your damned arms around me! when he simply stood there. He did as I
demanded with a strange look in his eyes. I read his mind in that moment and I realized it was
not me alone that had been forgotten. He had no memories at all. He had only thoughts of Ishtar
and a lust for blood in his mind. Somehow this made me feel better and worse all at once. It was
more dangerous, this complete wiping of his memory combined with his blood lust, but at least
he couldnt remember so much as his name instead of forgetting only mine.
As we began to walk, Luke walked ahead of us and, tired of fighting, I let him without
saying a word. So this was another trick from Aurelio, was it? Does he truly have nothing better
to do?
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No, this was all Delias doing though the magic she used was part of some spells he taught
her after he had me trapped all those years ago. She took the thing Luke feared would keep you
two apart and she turned it around on him, turned it into reality. As you can see, his greatest fear
was that eventually you would not remember him and you would die without realizing who he
was. So he doesnt know you from Adam. Its a simple trick. I suppose you can tell what she did
once he couldnt remember you. Any ten year old could cast the spells she spun upon him. How
did she get him to drink the potion? The love spell doesnt require that a potion be consumed but
the particular sort of fear spell she used does.
In my blood. She gave me blood that she said had come from a man on some type of plant
that makes you see visions, even a vampire. I was talking madness about Lukes face, how it
looked like a death mask or something, and it frightened him so he drank a great deal of the
blood and forced me out to hunt. I suppose there was more than that opium plant in it? I asked
as I watched Luke up ahead wondering why he had forgotten everything and everyone if I was
the only target.
That clever little bitch. If I didnt despise her so much that I lamented being physically
unable to piss on her ashes back there, I would almost admire her ingenuity. The way she
directed the potion requires poppies, the plant of forgetting, and opium is made from poppies.
But I had no idea it could do that to a vampire mind. I mean, did you really see things differently
as a human would, with reality distorted and all that?
I couldnt help but glare at her. Kila, honestly? I asked gesturing toward Luke. I think we
have more important things to fret over right now. Shouldnt the spells have lifted when you
killed her? Why is he still like this? I questioned, true fear welling up inside of me.
Just because shes dead, that doesnt mean the magic died with her. Whats done is done. I
will undo it as soon as we get to Scotland. Calm down, my dear. I wont let him stumble around
like a damned child for all of eternity. I love you too much to do that. She even smiled as she
draped her arm around me.
For the longest time we walked in silence. Now and then Luke would try to enter a home, no
doubt following his thirst without any conscious thought of right or wrong because he couldnt
remember the important truth that he only feeds from the guilty. After we were out of the city, I
could stand the silence no more. With Luke sulking safely between us, I said what was weighing
on my mind. I dont know how you knew what was happening but I am grateful you came. I
was trying to think of a plan but I am not so great with mental magic. I havent practiced on
magic at all in years.
I noticed. I could hear your self-deprecating thoughts all the way to Dalmally. That was
how I knew. You disappointed me, Arianne. How many times have I told you that negativity will
ruin your magic before you ever have a chance to conjure it? And the thoughts were so foolish!
There you sat thinking not of ways to get the two of you out of the situation she put you in but
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thinking instead that you wished you could be more like Rapunzel and me. I have news for you,
sister, we are not so strong. I stay in one place night after night because I am waiting on a man
who no longer knows I exist to come and find me and Rapunzel blunders through her existence
bouncing from man to man because she knows if things ever get too tough all she has to do is run
back to Angelus. Why can you not see that being with Luke, loving him, leaning on him when
things are hard, does not make you weak? Why cant you see that all vampires search for what
you were born into darkness with?
For one thing, while I appreciate the fact that you came in and made flames in your hands
and destroyed our enemy in moments, I would like to be the one saving myself in that way from
here on out since it seems as if trouble will never be too far behind me. For another thing, it
makes no sense to me that vampires, all vampires, search for love. We are undead creatures of
the night. We live off the blood of humans whom we kill, some of us without mercy or regret.
Why should love be so damned important to us? Even as I said this, I looked up at Luke and
though he was looking at me, I ached again at the lack of recognition in his face.
Vampires we are but we are vampires with souls. We do not need to work for money to
feed us or clothe us, we do not go off to universities to gain our knowledge, and we have all of
eternity to fill up. What else would we seek besides blood but love and how lonely do you
suppose forever is without it for those less fortune than you? You fecking take for granted what
most of us would give everything to have and that pisses me off so much that I am half tempted
to leave Luke like this for a few years just so you can see what the hell its like! If you want to be
able to get yourself out of your own messes I have a solution for that. Since I assume your nights
of wandering the damned cities of the dead are over, we will build you two a house in the woods
right by me and well work at your craft until you can do it all. Will that make you feel strong
enough to appreciate the man you keep trying so hard to lose?
How can you say that to me? I do not try to lose him! We just seem to have terrible luck for
two souls who are meant to be together! He strolls through life for thousands of years with little
problems and then as soon as we are granted forever, there is problem after problem at every
turn! Doesnt that seem odd to you? The fact that I was questioning whether we belonged
together hit me like a fist in the gut. But in that moment all I saw was how many times he had
been made to suffer or was forced to fight since he met me. And that wasnt simply true of this
life. Our love from the start had been one hell of a struggle, us against the world.
By not appreciating what you have, you send out the message to the universe that it may
come and take him from you whenever it pleases so you do try to lose him! And yes, you both
have struggles and it always will be that way, you damned fool, because you do not die! He has
always had struggles and he would whether you were with him or not! Every single life has
struggle and yours is continuous so of course you have quite a bit of it! If you really think the
two of you are not meant to be, well walk away and leave him right here. Or I can alter the spell
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so that he will remember everything but you and well stay in the woods while he rides off into
the moonlight. Hell never have to know. Is that what you want?
No, goddamn it, of course it isnt! I screamed out, knowing with every fiber of my being
that I meant those words. I could not imagine such a thing as allowing her to keep me from his
memories. I just dont want him to be hurt anymore because he loves me! Aurelio targeted Luke
because he wanted me, Ishtar or Delia, whatever, did this to him because he came there with me,
the damned townspeople back home came to destroy him because he stayed there waiting for
meit all comes back to me! Perhaps I am cursed. Maybe I was damned long before I wore this
face and he will be damned because he walks at my side. I knew I sounded ridiculous. But I
meant what I said. I did not want him to suffer a moments pain and if loving me was the source
of it, I could not bear it anymore.
Or maybe there will always be times when it is us against the world and you should stop
your whining and be grateful that when those times come for you two, you both have someone
who will fight at your sides. Now, do you want a house in Scotland so you can work on your
magic and maybe have some peace before the next storm blows in or not?
Suddenly the same man who could not remember his name chimed into the conversation
with, Scotland? Isnt that the northern land of the Keltoi? They are barbarians, you know! I
recognized the ancient word for Kilas people and I couldnt help but grin at the hell he was
about to catch.
Listen here, I realize you dont remember me but those are my people youre talking about
and if you say anything further to insult us, Ill remind you who I am by boxing your fecking
ears like the proper little sister Ive been to you for centuries! Watching him hang his head in
shame gave me the first bit of true amusement I had had in far too long.
Yes. I said softly, answering her question. I want to build a house beside of yours. Not
right beside, of course, because eventually Luke would annoy you as he tends to do when the
two of you are around one another for too long. But very close. And I want it to be sturdy, this
home, built to last as long as we do. I am tired of wandering without a place that is mine. I want
somewhere I can return to over and over again when Im through with adventures. Where your
home sits is perfect for this end. I am immortal. I can ride on wind, I can propel myself upward, I
can climb great heights in seconds, and even I hate the trek up there. No mortals will bother us
even if we stay there forever without leaving. Then again, you know that already. Its exactly
what youve done. I can at last have what Ive wanted all along.
What about New Orleans and all the plans you had for it? I thought that was supposed to
be the place you always went back to? She asked thoughtfully.
It is. I mean, I still have plans for it, plans that are probably foolish to entertain. I want to
go at least once a century and stay as long as I can to shape it. I want it to be a place where
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vampires and humans alike can come and be free even if the humans come without guessing that
the city was built up with the money and the work poured into it by vampires. I want it be a city
that vampires all over the world see as ours. I couldnt help but laugh as I told her this. Like I
said, its foolish
Why do you say that? Its been done before. Cairo was a city built up in this way, a city
that honors the dead, and once it housed many of the Undead as well. That is why it is designed
to respect death so much. You can always tell the places that vampires have influenced by the
way that they treat their dead. If the city attempts to respect death instead of ignoring it or
shunning it, it was probably shaped by a vampires hand. Venice? It was once made beautiful by
vampires as well including our dear Angelus. You are not the first to think of this. And it can be
done. But I see what you are saying about the Highland home and the city. With this place in
Scotland you can stay as long as you like. You are free. No matter what you do to your city or
how strong your influence is, you have but a decade, perhaps two if you are lucky, before you
must go. As soon as we get to my home and we restore Lucania to his former glory, I have
something I need to show the two of you before we think of building. It is a secret Ive kept from
everyone for many years.

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Chapter 6
We made the journey in a matter of nights, sometimes taking to the air where she and I
would have to hold Luke between us because he no longer remembered how to do this thing he
had taught me. It terrified him to fly like this and each bout of fear was a reminder of all that had
happened below Prague. But I stifled my sadness because as we traveled I realized I had to be
the immortal guide for him that he had always been for me. He deserved no less until a solution
was found for his problem. So I taught him to hunt from the guilty or, when we were in the
woods without humans around, to feast from any animal we could get our hands on. I dug into
the earth with my hands when dawn came close putting him on the bottom as I shielded his body
with my own in case he tried to do something mad like rise in the daylight. And when he wept
about being in the earth like a dead thing, about the bugs that crawled on us as we tried to sleep, I
soothed his fears by promising that soon enough we would be in a round beautiful bed and he
would be whole once more. I even cleaned the dirt off of him at dusk. He seemed to accept this
guidance, relearning all that he had known for thousands of years, but still no love lit up his eyes
when he looked at me. I learned to ignore this as I soldiered on. It wasnt until our last night of
travel as we lay in the ground just over the border into Scotland that the bitterness I felt when
Kila took us away was again given life and a reason to rise to the surface.
I was asleep when two things slammed into my brain simultaneously. The first was the
sense of a dangerous vampire quite close and the second was the force of being driven out of my
temporary grave by someone with enough strength to fling me from the space from below me
into a tree a few feet away. I didnt have to open my eyes to know that it was Luke who had done
this thing. The sun had just gone down but I thought at first that he was reacting again to his fear
of sleeping in the ground. I stood, prepared to offer encouragement and comfort, only to be flung
into the tree once more. You wanted the Queen dead! You allowed her to burn! You took away
my happiness! And I hate you for it! He shouted as he grabbed for my throat. He wasnt
attempting to choke me. Even though his instincts were horrible at that time he had already
realized that would do him no good. He was trying instead to rip my throat out. So he wanted to
wound me over that bitch, did he? We would see about that.
There was a great struggle between us as I attempted to flip him off of me but I did succeed
and when I was at last in the position to do it, I slammed his head into a large rock and I held him
by his throat, my fingers of my free hand poised to gouge his eyes if I needed to. Luke was not
like Keenan. Luke was old enough to watch the fall of Rome and he could snap me in half if I
did not have some advantage, some handle on the situation. Still, I couldnt resist slamming his
head into the rock once more for good measure. If you hadnt interfered like a proper bastard on
that first night I would have killed her myself! After hearing her cries as you made love to her
night after night, hearing her screams of pain was music to my ears! You are right about all of
that. But she was not your happiness, you bastard! Listen to me! You couldnt stand her! And if
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you can look into the eyes that saw you and loved you without knowing you and tell me that you
hate me than I believe it is more than a curse that stands between us. You forgot me! You son of
a bitch, you forgot me!
I struggled against the hands that pulled me off of him even as I continued to kick at him
until I was dragged too far to reach him. When he came forward I could see the damage I had
done to him though I couldnt recall striking him at all. Kila stepped in between us thinking, after
what she had just broken up, that he was coming to kill me. Judging by the wounds on his face
and his throat I had to agree with her but I gently moved her out of the way from my place on the
ground, resolved to meet him head on no matter what his intentions were. Kneeling down, he
grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him and for a moment I saw Luke hidden in this
strangers gaze. You think I dont know that I love you, you stupid girl? Love isnt held in the
mind. Its carried in the soul. But my thoughts are conflicting with what I feel. So until you and
this Keltoi Banshee work your magic to cure me, I cannot follow my head or my soul. I am tired
of the confusion! I am tired of all of this! Walk on, will you? He released me so quickly that I
fell backwards but I felt hope at his words. He knew he loved me. That was enough to keep me
from killing him during the remainder of the journey.
The few hours of travel to Kilas house was made in relative silence. I felt relief as we
climbed down from the north past territory I had never trekked before to the place I knew so
well. But when I thought of Lukes objections to making a home here, I made a decision of my
own. You said you had something you wanted to show us after you restored his memory. I
dont want to wait. I want to see it now and I want to have the plans set in motion for the house
before he has his memory back.
The man in question was walking behind us, having no idea where we were or where we
were headed and he paid no mind to the whispering going on between Kila and me. You realize
what you are saying, dont you? You want to make this choice without giving him a say in it?
Are you punishing him for all of this? I mean, why would you make such a choice alone?
I sighed trying so hard to keep my temper in check. She didnt deserve to be my target. No
one did. My target was dead already. No, I am not punishing him. You consider building a fine
home next to our dearest friend punishment? I am doing what is right for me. I am doing what I
need to do if he wants to keep me in one piece for all time. I have been on this earth just a few
decades and already I am tired of it all. Not of Luke, not of us, but of living. I am tired of
fighting. Add a century to it and see how fast I walk into the sun at this rate. Something needs to
change and this is that change. But I cant explain that to him, damn it. Ive tried. I need this
place, I need the magic, and right now I need you nearly as much as I need him. So lets do what
must be done tonight so he can come back to me tomorrow.
In response to this, she led us even deeper into the hills that were just north of her house and
suddenly, near the top of this land, I could see the silhouette of a great structure with the moon
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beaming down on it. The Highlands below my home belonged to my fathers people but this
was the ancestral home of my mother. This is where she took me to learn my magic, where she
herself always went to keep it from my fathers people though they knew the stories. It was
where she learned, where her mother before her was taught. I imagine that after all of the
centuries weve had it, the magic must have seeped into the very land here. I feel it when I come
as I sometimes do. I dont stay long. I cant bear to. But it is mine and if you want it, it can be
yours. It needs restored as you can see and it needs to be made suitable for vampires, windows
fixed and shutters that are solid wood without slats, all of that. However, Lucius, Angelus, and I
are the only souls who know about it. Even Luke has never seen this. Its as safe as you can get.
She paused. I was just standing below this massive place, staring up at it, a bit in awe as I had
been of Lukes place in France. It reminded me a bit of that house. And I agreed with her that the
magic was all around. I could feel it. Well? Say something!
Luke was going inside and I knew I should follow him. Hell, in a place that large he could
get lost. But I stayed where I was simply staring at it. I felt almost overwhelmed by this place
and by the way that I wanted it. Yes! Yes, I would love it if you are sure.
I wouldnt be here with you if I wasnt. Damn it, Lucania, come on. Unless you want to
look inside? You really should before
No. Theres no need. Walking forward, I found Luke standing at the bottom of a massive
stone staircase. Taking his wrist gently, I smiled at him. We would be happy here for a while. I
knew we would. And our rose could come home to us at last.
I know a place like thiswith a windowa window made of colored glass He was
saying as I led him out. I looked at him curiously as Kila made a sound of annoyance.
Do you know what hes talking about? I asked. It seemed like she did.
Aye, I do. Isnt that the luck? The bastard remembers nothing but he can recall Gavins
gruesome window. He can recall the house that haunts my fecking dreams. Perhaps I should
consider making a potion for myself. The little reminders, the moments I have at times, they
make me envy Lukes current position. She said softly, bitterly. When I tried to touch her
shoulder she walked ahead and I kept my hand around Lukes wrist all the way back to her house
as I gave her the moment to stuff down these emotions as she always did.
None of us had fed that night and Kila was getting cranky by the time we got to her house.
She let us in but she told me she had to go for a while, that as soon as she returned she would get
to work, and I was left alone with Luke for the first time since he lost his memory. I had no idea
what to do. I couldnt talk to him because there was nothing that he would understand. I couldnt
stand sitting in silence with him either. After a few moments of sitting in the living room upstairs
looking at one another without a word, I decided we would go down to the room beside the
library and I would look through Kilas books on magic to try to find a spell that would help our
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problem. I tried to persuade him to stand but he refused. He gave no reason for his refusal. He
simply would not do it. I couldnt leave him alone, not when he could end up down in the
villages below creating a massacre before I realized he had gone. So I sat down across from him
and I watched him as he studied me. Using his true speed for the first time since Prague, he came
toward me and before I could fight him off, thinking he was about to destroy me, he had his lips
pressed to mine, his fingers buried deep in my hair. When he tried to get my legs apart, I pushed
him away. You will not make love to me when you dont remember who I am! Its the same as
fucking a stranger, you know, and I think youve done enough of that to last for our eternity,
dont you?
Why are you so cruel to me? If I am your love and you want me to remember you,
remember us, why are you so cruel to me? What if touching you is what I need to remember?
You love me yet you push me away? The Queen did not push me away. Ever.
I wanted to do terrible things to him for saying such a thing to me. I looked into his eyes and
I saw that there was a slight smirk on his lips and I might have hurt him then had he not kneeled
down and put his head into my lap. It was the first bit of affection he had shown me, the first hint
of love, and even my fury could not stop me from reaching out and stroking his hair back from
his forehead. I realized that he wasnt trying to hurt me with his words. He was trying to flirt
with me, use jealousy against me in order to get his way, and I very nearly smiled. Before this
night is over, you are going to remember me, my love. Kila will make sure of that. You will
remember me and you will remember yourself. I know this has been frightening for you. It must
be. But its almost over. Since you will most likely lose all memories of this when your own
mind is restored I will tell you what I will never admit to Luke, my Luke. I am furious with you
and I cant help it. Thats why I pushed you away. I am furious with you for things you could not
help and that makes me feel terrible. It will fade, this anger, because the love with overcome it. It
overcomes everything. Well, almost everything, apparently. Thats why I am so furious. It didnt
overcome this.
He looked up at me with questions in his eyes. But it did. You didnt leave me when you
could have. Even when it hurt you, you stayed down there waiting for me. I heard what the
Keltoi said about letting me forget you, letting me leave without remembering you, and you said
no. Ive had conflict, so much I cant describe it, because I didnt want to hurt you. When I
looked at you in the temple and my mind told me to protect the queen, I wanted to weep. I
wanted you too. I just had so much that told me it was wrong, this want. But I am here and so are
you. If it is as you say and my memory will return by daylight than the love overcame it after
all.
I let him pull me down toward him. I returned his kiss and I sighed with passion when he
cupped my breast. If Kila hadnt come in I have no doubt that we would have made love right
there on her floor. But her laughter had him scrambling away as I quickly pulled up the top of
my ragged dirty dress. You two start the night off with a fight to the death and here you are like
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two sixteen year olds about to fuck right on my floor! You are both ridiculous! Come on, lets
get this over with before it takes a bucket of water to keep the two of you apart!
He seemed embarrassed at being caught in the act, so to speak, and he said nothing as he
followed Kila below to the room I tried to get him in earlier. When she told him to sit in the
middle of the floor, he obeyed immediately. I was waiting on instructions from her while she
looked through a book to find what she needed when I snuck a look over and saw that Luke was
terrified. He was looking at Kila and then his eyes scanned the room, taking in her altar and her
herbs, the candles she lit with a flick of her wrist, and he was clearly afraid of it all. I couldnt let
him sit there alone in that state. Behind him I sat with my butt on the heels of my feet, wrapping
my arms around him and smiling softly when he laced his hands in mine. There is nothing to
fear. Kila wouldnt hurt you for the world and I wouldnt let her, you see. This isnt like before.
This magic is going to bring you back. It will take away the confusion and the fear. I whispered
in his ear.
I couldnt see his face but I knew the fear was getting worse when he squeezed my hands.
You were there when the queen took everything from me so how can you say you wont let this
woman do me harm?
His words cut me deeply. Kila was explaining to us how it might take a night or more for
the spell to work, that she wished she had our rose to strengthen it but it would work even if it
wasnt instantaneous, and all I could do was hold him and wait. This isnt the same. I didnt
know what the queen could do. We know Kila, love. She is a dear friend to us both. She wont
hurt you. Do as she says, whatever it is.
His fear increased as she walked around us casting the circle and calling upon the elements
she needed for her work and he was actually trembling by the time she turned her attention to
him, chanting in Scotch Gaelic, calling on Gods to aid her working. What is she saying? He
whispered. I was practically holding him in place against me. I think if I had moved he would
have run. Instead I told him all that she was saying, I explained every step she was making and
what the reason was for it, and I closed my eyes toward the end hoping that when I opened them
he would turn to me and I would know that he really saw me at last. But as she released the
circle, he fell back against me. He was unconscious! This filled me with panic.
Whats happened, Kila? Why is he sleeping? Why cant I wake him? Looking at me, she
nearly laughed.
Because the sun just came up and hes as strong as a fledgling, thats why. Come on. Ill
lock the door so he cant get out. Let him sleep and you can come for him in the evening.
Already she was putting out the candles.
Im not leaving him. Ill stay. You go on. I replied with conviction.
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For hours I read to keep myself awake. I wanted to make sure I was up when he rose that
night. I wanted to know right off if it had worked. But eventually I fell asleep sitting up with
Luke safe in my arms lying with his head upon my legs. I knew I was alone when I woke up and
the fear that went through me was icy-hot. Running into the library, I almost passed Luke and
Kila as they sat across from one another laughing at something. It was the sound of his laughter
that made me turn and face them. Kila noticed me and she pointed beyond his shoulder at me, a
smile fixed on her face. I continued to stand there in front of the door even as he turned toward
me in his chair and said, Good evening, little beauty.
Luke. I whispered his name like a prayer. Luke. I said again, though I still didnt
move.
Yes, it seems that the Keltoi Banshee succeeded in her spell last night. He replied with a
chuckle. I watched her smack his arm in a good natured way as she passed him, saying
something about leaving us alone, and while I stepped aside to let her pass, I remained where I
was. As she closed the door I saw pain fill his eyes. He stood, coming to me and holding me
against him. Are you so angry that you cant even say hello? He asked softly.
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him even closer to me. So you remember it all? I
asked. I didnt want him to. I didnt want him to remember anything about the last few weeks.
Unfortunately though I wish I did not. Come, lets sit. I have many things to say to you. I
smiled when he took my hand and I laughed a little when he moved the chair Kila had been
sitting in right beside of his own as if he didnt want the inches of space to separate us. Even as
we sat, our hands were still clasped. He was wrong. It had not been anger that had kept me in
place. It had been relief. I was so afraid that he would never remember, that he would never
know all that had been between us. I could have wept with gratitude as he looked at me now with
the power of recognition and love heating up his gaze. Ive already been out to hunt. Kila
showed me the house that were moving into afterward. She didnt know that I remembered, you
see, and I wanted to get a good look at it.
Are you angry that I made the decision without you? We dont have to
I heard what you said last night. We do. We do have to do it. Im happy about it. Its a nice
place and we can stay as long as we like. I do understand, Arianne. All you had to do was tell me
what you told Kila last night and I would have understood. I am so sorry about everything, all of
it. But as sorry as I am that things happened between Delia and me as they did, I am more sorry
that all of this made you question for a moment that you and I are supposed to be together. I
thought that nothing on earth could be so bad that you would think like that.
There came that guilt again and with it the hurt and the anger so that I found myself
replying not with a truthful explanation but with, Just as I thought nothing on this earth could
make you forget who I am? I got up and moved across the room before I turned to face him
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again. I did not really question that we belong together. I was hurt! I was wrapped in a pain
unlike anything Ive ever felt! They were words that came from that pain. But you did really
forget me, Lucania!
Night after night, I touched another woman. I embraced her knowing that you were right
outside the door because even when you were silent, I felt you there
Has that spell robbed you of your sanity? Why are you telling me this? I shouted, furious
with him for bringing that particular aspect of it all into the conversation.
He put his hand up to silence me. Just let me finish, woman! I was touching her, hearing
her tell me that she was the one I loved, but it felt wrong! All of it! And over and over again I
thought of the strange girl outside the door waiting who told me I was hers. I knew you. I knew
you in the same way that you have known me each time we met again in the past. It does not
erase whats been done. I betrayed you
No! You did not betray me, Lucania! Do not put such a burden on your soul when there was
nothing you could do about it, do you hear me? I dont want that. Weve suffered enough
already. I dont want to look back on all of this anymore. I dont want to think about it, to sort it
out. I just want to move forward. Cant we do that?
No. He replied simply. I have things to say on the matter. And it isnt that alone. I know
that if we leave things like they are you will see me with another woman each time you close
your eyes and I cannot, I will not, have that lingering between us. So let me start by saying thank
you for the way you cared for me. You have the potential to be a great maker, you know. I
remained silent when he paused. What did he expect me to say to that? I knew, after all, that I
would never be a maker. I had my immortal companion already. You could have left yet you
stayed. Night after night, you stayed. You had one moment of weakness, one moment where you
accepted defeat, but even if the way had not been blocked, you would have come back. I do not
doubt that. I thank you for that as well. The doubts that you had only make it more impressive
that you did not give up. But I am heartily sorry for the doubts. I am wounded to my very soul
for the pain that you endured. It is a pain that I understand all too well. I know what you faced
down there. I had no idea she would go so far, Arianne. Perhaps if we had once had some great
love affair I might have anticipated something so extreme but it was never that way between us.
Angelus, Lucius, and I underestimated her insanity. If I had known about her connection to
Kila
Yes, if you had known, if I had known, if onlywhats done is done! We cannot reverse
time. That is beyond even our power. You can lament what happened for the rest of time or we
can do our best to forget it and we can move forward. I prefer to forget. I do not blame you for
the way things happened and I promise you I am not entertaining thoughts of the two of you
together. I rather enjoy the shred of sanity I cling to, dear. I do not wish to compromise it. I tried
to smile but to my horror, what came out was a sob. The crisis was over and now I had only the
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memories of that terrible time to forever haunt the darkest corners of my mind. He came to me
and he held me tight but this was something that had to run its course. There was no damming
the river of tears I wept. We ended up on the floor as he held me like a child. Lucania, my dark
love, my great protector. Yes, I needed him and yes, I loved him, and if that love was a weakness
it was a weakness I could not exist without. It was also a weakness that did not compromise my
strength. I knew that in this moment just as I knew that the kiss he gave me could soothe any
wound. You dont know how Ive missed you. I whispered against his chest.
My precious little beauty He was wiping at my tears even as he caressed my skin
gently. When we made love that night it was full of need, full of desperation, as if it had been
years since we last touched. It had felt that way while he was gone. But none of it mattered
anymore. It was as I had told him. Whats done was done and now we had to go on.
Later that night as Luke and I were at the place we would soon claim as our own discussing
the repairs and the additions we wanted to make to the house, Kila found us and she looked as
upset as I had ever seen her as she shoved a letter at me. It was from Angel, I could tell that
immediately. But the words on that page sent a great ache through me instead of the joy that I
usually found in his correspondences. Somehow he knew what had happened in Prague and he
knew that Luke and I were with Kila, that Delia was dead, but that wasnt the focus of the
message. And you wonder why I despise the princess? You wonder why the mention of her
name can destroy a perfectly good evening for me? What reason had she to do this to him, that
bitch!
Again I read the letter in my hand but the words remained the same. He was coming to us
immediately. His heart was broken and he could not mend it in the university, in Italy, where
Rapunzel had come to him only to spend a night with him before leaving at dusk the next
evening without a word of explanation. She had come long enough to disrupt everything and
now there was no going back for him to the way things were the night before she rode up
suddenly with the fire of determination in her eyes. He would think of a plan for the future, he
said, as soon as his mind had again cleared of her but until then he would stay with us. I handed
the parchment back to Kila and I was annoyed that she was standing there looking as if she had
been vindicated, looking damned satisfied really, despite the pain that our friend was enduring.
Wipe the smirk off your face when he arrives, will you? He might jump to the rightful
conclusion that you think his heartbreak is a fair trade for your moment of feeling superior. I
barked out. She attempted to defend herself but I knew my friend enough to know that anything
she said would only confirm my suspicions so I left her with Luke to go into the house once
more with this new knowledge in mind.
To me it made sense that Angelus should stay with us when the house was finished. Kila
was always a gracious hostess but she tired quickly of company when the company was under
the same roof with her. So I went up to the third floor, the one that Luke and I had decided on for
bedchambers, and I found the perfect room for him, mentally calling up furniture he would like
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and the things he might enjoy in the adjoining sitting room. He needed his space to read and to
paint, after all. He could order the materials as I knew nothing of the craft myself. Since this
floor was going to have the windows sealed off to prevent sunlight from penetrating through, he
could paint at noon if he chose. We would do whatever we could to make him forget because all
three of us knew what it was to wake up and find your heart has been stolen while you slept.
By dawn the materials we needed had been ordered through a letter Kila sent out. They
would be shipped to Ayr despite the fact that there were places closer to us that they could have
been sent to. It was as Luke had said the first night I met Kila. Despite the distance between her
home and that town, she always did her business there and the more time we spent with her, the
more we found ourselves doing the same. All of the plans were in motion and it had been
decided that we would do the work ourselves. Our speed would ensure that the process was short
and none of us wanted a human crew of workers up at the secret place where no mortal had
walked in four hundred years. Already the estate seemed sacred to me as I look back on it. Even
then it seemed I knew that something inside of me would be forever changed by my years there.
I went to sleep feeling a peace that was so often hard to find and I knew as I lay in the round bed
wrapped in Lukes arms that it was here in this strange Highland world that I would find myself
at last.

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Chapter 7
As if it had been mapped out perfectly, Angel and the first shipment of materials arrived in
Ayr on the same night. We all went into the village to hunt and to collect the things but Angelus
was so quiet, so sullen. At one point he disappeared and Kila declared that she couldnt believe
he was cruel enough to go to Gavin, that he was such a glutton for punishment that he went to
see if this mutual friend of the couples had seen Rapunzel, and then she went on a binge as if
killing could erase from her mind the image of her own love alone in his castle by the sea. When
we all met up in the town square where once a priest was burned for loving the princess, Angel
gave Kila a complete update on how Gavin was fairing but he said nothing about Rapunzel
which told me she had not been to Scotland after she left him. I knew he was disappointed just as
I knew that he did not want to speak of the night that led him to us so I walked with Kila in
silence as he and Luke carried the massive crates of lumber, tools, and candles at an incredible
speed up the steep and tricky hills toward their destination. I cannot believe you are parting with
your fortress, dear girl. Angel declared with a smile at Kila as he sat down the boxes in his
hands in front of the house in question. Honestly, I cant even believe you told them about it.
Lucius will be happy to know that it is being used once more. Speaking of that, he is sending all
of your things from Rome, Arianne. He felt you needed them around you after the time of travel
and the way things ended. Angel told me.
Is he sending the rose as well? I asked. I wanted it home with us once more. The damned
thing had weighed heavily on my mind since we left Prague, as if it were my child that I had
been separated from for too long.
No. Angel said simply. He was kneeling down tearing lids off of crates at an inhuman
speed. Suddenly he paused and I watched as he reached inside his coat, my smile lighting up my
face when he pulled out the object of my affection. I thought you might need this little reminder
after the way things happened. He whispered softy, handing it to me with great care.
Thank you. I whispered in return, feeling the power coming off of the thing in my hand as
I looked at it as if it were the first time I had seen it. It was safe here. Somehow I knew that
though I did not know how or why. It would remain even when we went on for a time as we
were bound to do eventually and I would know that even without us here to guard it, it would be
safe.
Kila took it back to her house as the three of us started working. I had never done anything
even resembling carpentry before but I found that, like everything else I had attempted since I
was turned, I quickly caught on to the work and I was soon putting up the thick wooden shutters
we had received at the same speed of my companions. When Kila returned she had on a pair of
breeches and a long white shirt with her hair pulled back in a ribbon. It was strange to see her in
clothes like these yet the male attire seemed to only enhance her beauty. Her only complaint was
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the feel of the stiff leather pants as she worked, and work she did. It was now obvious how she
had managed to build her own house from scratch. At one point as we worked on covering the
windows of the third floor with panels, she began to sing and soon we had all joined in even
though walls of stone separated us, raising our voices to levels unheard of for humans and calling
upon our remarkable abilities to make ethereal sounds. This was the way things went night after
night as we gradually turned the old castle into a warm and beautiful home once more. Angel lost
himself in it all as I suppose we did as well and it seemed his pain was easing as all night sing-a-
longs and feasts in villages all around Scotland took up the time. But eventually I knew the night
would come when the place was finished and there was no work left to do. What would our
friend do when he no longer had something else to focus on?
That night came just one short month after the work began. It was a strange moment as we
all walked as we had each night before up to the house and we walked in intent on returning to
the tasks we left unfinished at dawn only to find that everything was right, perfectly in place. The
furniture, the added trinkets, the books on the shelves and the rooms for art and music and
magicall of it was set up just as it needed to be. All that was left was for the three of us to get
the things we had stored at Kilas and bring them up where they belonged. I had a new wardrobe
of clothes ordered for me from an Italian tailor Angel had befriended but aside from that, I
owned nothing that wasnt already in the house. And so we went down, far down into the
Lowlands, and we hunted before spending some time in a tavern. We talked of all we had done
and the things we wanted to do in the months and the years to come. And when I went to sleep in
the old bed from France, the one that had apparently been in Rome along with the rest of our
possessions after the first disaster in Prague, I felt the ghosts of ages past all around me begging
me to stay awhile. I could only smile my consent as the first rays of dawn took me into the land
of dreams.
The first weeks spent there were a wondrous time or so it seems as I look back on them.
Angel and Luke ordered the tools they needed to paint while Kila and I worked on magic,
starting with the ability to harness the elements and recreate them on my own as she had done
with the fire she created in her hands. We practiced on candles, we called up storms, and we
smiled as wind whipped around us and lightning and rain came from the sky. Sometimes the men
came in to the large room where we had set up my altar and my books and they would simply sit
with their backs against the wall watching silently as Kila taught me things that could defend me,
things that could draw good energy, and in turn good things, toward me even though I secretly
wondered how any positive energy could be drawn to me considering what I was. She taught me
mental magic, telling me outright that there were times when the right amount of need and focus
could make it the most powerful magic of all. And one night she took me down to the sea where
Gavins castle hovered directly above us as she used her mind to raise the waves until we were
nearly swept away by them where we stood in the sand. I was able to recreate this action using
my own mind, visualizing the great wave coming toward us once the sea was calm, though I did
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not achieve the great size she had produced. When I commented on this, she looked up at the
place that haunted her mind and she said softly, I had an extra bit of fury to add to that sea.
As we walked back up the hills she told me stories of witches gathering at the edges of the
sea when the English came in intent on burning anyone who seemed Pagan, how the people (and
a few vampires of the old ways as well) used the power of the water to destroy the ships and
drown the men before they reached the shore. She laughed at the arrogance of bastards who
thought they would always find complacent witches in their reign of terror who would go to the
stakes without using their strength to fight. She wanted to, she said, and she would have if she
had been anonymous in her country. But her family was too well known and any use of her
power would have led to a slaughter of all those she held dear. It didnt matter in the end.
Aurelio did what I risked my life to prevent the English from doing. To think of the times I have
felt that evil bastard outside my home, the times when he has traveled past the kingdom he
destroyed to watch me, it sets my blood on fire. And to my shock I saw a strange blood sweat
on her face when I looked over at her. Taking hold of her wrist, I used my mind to cool her, to
calm her, imagining a cold rain putting out the fire she had accidently created inside of herself
before something horrific occurred like spontaneous combustion. When we reached her house,
she smiled. Thanks for that. I seem to be losing all sense of control tonight so I think I will go in
and call an end to the lesson for now. Ill come back when Ive remembered myself. Kissing
first one cheek and then another, she left me standing there wondering at the true scope of her
abilities and how close she had probably come in the past to destroying herself with all she
would not face and could not let go of.
I did not see her again for weeks and she wouldnt answer the door when we came to check
on her although she did yell from wherever she happened to be in the house to tell us she was
fine. In the meantime Angelus worked with me showing me things that he said I had known once
in lifetimes past and I devoured this new knowledge as I had the things Kila had taught me
already. As we stood outside practicing my ability to make a flower bloom from a seed instantly
he told me of the worship in ancient Rome, of the Gods we held dear. Luke did the same with the
Greek portion of my past. They told me about festivals and games to honor those who watched
over us, of entire cities guarded by a God or Goddess like Athens, and of the way we loved our
flawed deities in those times. I thought that these firsthand accounts were far more exciting than
anything I had received in a book but I wasnt changed by them. I still thought that the idea of a
vampire worshipping any god was foolish. Surely they, if they did exist the way that all of my
companions insisted they did, shunned creatures like us. Why shouldnt they? Never mind the
murders, as if that wasnt enough, there was also the obvious fact that we were not natural. Not
of heaven, not of the earth, neither living nor dead, we defied everything that they had created.
So I listened to the stories as I worked the magic Angel taught me and I filed them away like all
bits of historical information I saved without realizing it but I put them out of the forefront of my
mind as soon as night had ended.
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One night as I was reading through a book on alchemy suggested by Luke who insisted that
turning energy into something solid was far from impossible, Angel came into the room and his
sobs had me putting the book down at once. He had shut the door but he was standing against it
unmoving staring ahead even as the tears seemed thick enough to choke him. I went to him at
once hugging him to offer comfort. I had known this would happen eventually, that the night
would come when the thing he ran from would hit him at last, and now that it had I found my
heart breaking for him. Little sister, I need something from you. I cannot ask Kila to do this
because she will refuse no matter how she might feel about Rapunzel in general. First I must
confess that I have had motives of my own for helping you with your progress in her absence. I
have also been rather busy with a book I took from you though you didnt seem to notice it was
gone. Ill return it tonight. The point is, I found a spell that erases memories. It can erase entire
places, entire periods of time from your thoughts and without a spell to counteract it, it is
permanent.
You mean like the spell that was cast upon Luke? I asked in surprise.
No, that was a fear spell and his fear was that a lack of memories would keep you apart.
What I am talking about is designed specifically to erase a thing, a person, or a time from your
mind. I need you to cast it upon me. I cannot cast it on myself. It will create total confusion in
my mind that will affect every thought and every memory I have. So I need you to do it. You
can. I am sure of it. I need you to erase Rapunzel forever from my memories. I cannot bear the
weight of this love any longer. She left me! She traveled far and wide to find me and then she
gave me but one brief night before she left! Yes, yes, she warned me she was going to do it. She
gave no real explanation, said only that things did not feel right, that it simply wasnt the right
time for us, but how could I believe her when she was in my arms looking up at me with total
love in her eyes? To hell with it all! I dont want to remember her by morning.
I backed away from him as if he had burned me. No! I will do no such thing! How could
you expect that I would say yes when I know what it is like to look into the eyes of the man you
love and see that he has no idea who you are? I wouldnt do that to her. And furthermore, I
wouldnt do this to you. If she had a change of heart suddenly as it sounds like she did, it is
probably your brother who is behind her sudden desire to go and I will not give him what he
wants by destroying your love! You would regret it if you had the chance to realize what was
done. To do this thing you ask of me is the same as killing a part of your very soul and I am not
that cruel. So it seems that you must find another way through the heartache or another witch
without the sense to say no. I declared passionately.
When he went down on his knees covering his face with his hands I embraced him. The sobs
were shaking his body with their fury and when Luke came in he could do nothing but stare at us
with a mournful expression on his face. I knew in that moment who Luke had gone to in his
moments of sorrow and despair, when he had again faced another death of mine and the pain was
too much to bear. His eyes were pleading with me to do something for our friend, to do
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something that would lift this from his shoulders, and then I was struck with inspiration. Moving
away from Angel, I went toward the bookshelf hoping the book Angel took from me wasnt my
copy of Kilas family book of shadows. I almost smiled when I found it right where I left it.
Quickly thumbing through the pages I found what I was looking for but I couldnt do it on my
own without Kila standing over my shoulder to make sure I did it right. I had no idea what might
come from screwing it up and all I needed was for it to backfire on Angel. Gesturing to Luke to
indicate that he needed to sit with our friend, who was still on the floor in tears, I brushed past
them on my way out.
As soon as I twisted Kilas doorknob I found it locked against me and when I pounded on
the wood she gave her now typical response, screaming loudly, Im fine! Feck off!
I was glad that she was in the living room. I wouldnt have to wake the people in the village
below when I shouted, You may be fine but Angel is not. He wanted me to do a spell to
completely erase Rapunzel from his memory andwell I let my words trail off intentionally
and just as I thought she would, she threw the door back.
What the hell have you done to him? She questioned with her eyes an incredible shade of
emerald.
Smiling I replied, Nothing yet. Thats why Im here. I told him I would not do such a spell
but I found one to replace his sorrow with peace and joy. Ive never cast a spell on a living
creature before, or on a vampire either, and I need you to come with me to make sure I am doing
it right.
Are you fecking joking? Thats what youve beaten my door down and scared the piss out
of me over? You could do that with your mind just as you cooled my fire the last night I saw
you! You dont even need a full physical spell for that!
You havent seen him, Kila. Trust me, I do. And we are wasting time discussing this.
She deliberated for a moment before she barked out, Do you have all you need for it or is
there something we should grab here?
I have the dried herbs I need. I think you provided me with every herb one could acquire. I
have the candles. I have the directions to the spell. Yes, I have everything.
And youve wasted another five minutes to tell me that. Come on! She commanded even
though she had been unwilling to go just moments before. As we moved as quickly as we could
she asked suddenly, What are you afraid of with doing it yourself? You do know if you fuck it
up the worst thing that could happen is that it wont work. I mean, you wont turn him into a toad
or anything. The only reason I am coming is to ease your mind so you dont destroy the spell
before its even started.
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I took this into consideration as I went inside, trying to calm my fears as I walked up the
stairs to the third floor. Walking in, I found Angel sitting just as I had left him with Luke sitting
silently at his side looking completely helpless. Kila went to our friend immediately sitting with
her legs under her as she took his hand, no doubt sending him calming energy before I even
began. Gathering the Morning Glories I needed and the light blue and white candles, I made my
altar ready. The book was already in the middle lying open to the page I needed. Clearing my
head, I cast the circle and I called the quarters as I had been taught to do. Going to the altar, I lit
the candles with my mind and I followed the steps to the letter, saying the Scotch-Gaelic words
as if I had been speaking the language all of my life. I felt confident in that moment. As long as I
didnt think about Angelus and his red stained face, I would not waver. I directed every ounce of
peaceful energy I could summon, every ounce of joy I could feel into that spell.
For once I did not wonder how energy came to me, if I was like the inanimate rocks by the
stream that have no life yet carry some power inside of them. I thought only of the task at hand.
And when I looked down at the candles glowing bright, the candles I lit without a match, I knew
this could be done, this spell. Putting the Morning Glories in a pouch, I went over to Angel and I
tore a piece of cloth from his shirt. The spell called for a lock of hair or fingernail clippings but
in light of the fact that ours disappeared as soon as they were cut, I did not think this would
work. Writing his name on a piece of paper that I charged with this combination of peaceful,
joyful energy, I put all of this in the light blue pouch I had for this purpose and I sealed it with oil
as the book dictated. I could hear Kila telling Angel that the spell would probably start working
as soon as it was finished but it could take a few nights to feel the full effects but I also noticed
that he wasnt weeping anymore. Whatever she had been doing behind me seemed to be soothing
him temporarily. Releasing the elements at each direction and bringing the energy of the circle
back into myself, I whispered softly, The circle is open but never broken. And I smiled as I
tapped the wooden floor with my hand. This felt good. It felt right. When Angel whispered,
Thank you. as I handed him the pouch and he smiled I felt like I was on top of the world!
Angel woke up the next evening quite different, excited about a plan he had decided on to
travel for a while as he said he hadnt done in too long. He asked if he could leave his things with
us and we agreed of course. I knew he would be gone by dawn and while I was sad to see him
go, I was thrilled to see him in good spirits. Sure enough, by midnight he was kissing my cheek
and saying goodbye to Luke, Kila, and me, promising to write as soon as he reached his first
destination even as he laughed about being unsure where that destination was. Then we watched
as he willed himself up from the ground and he disappeared into the night. What the hell did
you put in that spell of yours? My god, I would have let him stay with me if it had come to that.
There was no need to use magic to send our friend away. Kila teased me with a laugh as she put
her arm around me. Come on. Were going to work on some simple spells until you feel
comfortable doing them alone. Taking Lukes hand, she practically dragged him along with us.
And you, dear brother, are going to be the subject upon which we test these spells of hers. Dont
be frightened. I can undo almost any mistake she makes.
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For a few months we lived in this way, carefree, happy, peaceful, with magic all around. I
learned to appreciate the music of the trees when the wind came through the leaves, the sounds
of the animals around us as they hunted or slept, the power of simply standing in the grass in my
bare feet and feeling the vibration of the earth below. I learned to dance in the cold Scottish rain
with a smile on my face. I felt connected to the earth again as I had been plowing my fathers
fields beside of him in days gone by though I still felt as if I was set apart from everything that
lived and breathed around me. I learned to see killing as something to be respected as the hunters
of old respected the game that fed their families through long winters. That respect was missing
in humans even in those days but I quickly recognized its importance in my life. I was often on
my own as I made these discoveries while Luke painted in the house or hunted with Kila. These
were the lessons, she had told me, that only the earth could teach me. And it certainly did. When
summer surrendered to autumn I found myself growing mirthful as I did in days past, noticing
this change come over the land in a way that I had not since I was turned. Kila performed her
ritual to honor the new season and she told me that night that this was the last ritual I was going
to sit out, that on the next Sabbat, as she called it, I would honor it with her. I looked forward to
this though I wasnt sure what it entailed.
On the last day of October, the day the modern world calls Halloween, she came in robes of
black, her red hair streaming down her back, and her eyes twinkling. In her hand she held a robe
like her own that she thrust toward me. I noticed she had something painted on her forehead and
as I put on the robe without knowing why she had requested it, I asked her about the symbol. It
is a symbol of the Goddess, the crescent moon. Once women, usually priestesses like my mother
and me, had this tattooed on our foreheads at initiation. By my lifetime this had fallen out of
practice because of the obvious dangers attached to it just as the serpent tattoos around ones arm
had but because I was never meant to leave the kingdom of my birth to go into the world below
and I was safe there, I had both Pagan marks. When I was turned, they disappeared like any scar
would. Oh, how I wept when the ink bled out of the marks and they faded to nothing before my
eyes! All of the things I lost to immortality, this, she pointed to her forehead where the symbol
was painted on, and this, she showed me her arm where a snake eating its tail was also painted
on, are what pained me the most. Now you know, my dear, the true snakes that the bastard St.
Patrick drovefine word for mass murder that isout of Ireland!
I was stunned by this information but before I could speak, she smiled her most radiant smile
as she clapped her hands together in excitement. Now, to the reason I am here. Tonight we are
celebrating the great Sabbat known as Samhain in the days of old. Technically, it is the midway
point between the first day of autumn and the first day of winter. However, this night is so much
more than that. Long before my birth or the birth of my mother who came before me, my people
believed that this night was one when the veil that separates the living and the dead was at its
thinnest point, that on this night you could visit with the spirits of loved ones gone to the grave.
It is a night when anything is possible, Arianne. The Goddess has watched her God die even as
the child they made grows inside of her only to be reborn again and repeat the cycle. The spirits
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of the dead are walking alongside the living. And you can feel the magic in the very air. So
come. We have fires to light and deities and ancestors to honor.
I helped Kila gather the things she said we needed for this ritual and I was a bit surprised
when Luke came outside with us. Firewood was already heaped into bundles at all four corners
of the property as she said it had once been in the days before her mothers death when certain
Sabbats came around. I had never cast a circle as big as the one she insisted I cast that night,
telling me to do as she had taught me and take the energy for it from the dirt under my bare feet,
the trees, the very air that was starting to stir as if the place was coming to life around us. I did as
I was told and I knew I had done it well because I could feel the energy of the invisible barrier
pulsating all around us. With Kila at my side I called upon the four directions, the guardians that
kept them, to watch over our circle as we worked. Then I let her lead me to the center of the
circle, in front of the house, and I allowed her to take my hand and raise my arm with her own.
Luke was on the right side of me holding that hand up as well. I had gotten quite good with
magic in the few months I had been there and I thought I knew what it was like to truly be awed
by it but when the bonfires all came to life at once and Kila began to say a prayer in Scotch-
Gaelic I was nearly overwhelmed by what I felt.
I said the words with her, hearing them in her head before she spoke them, and Luke was
doing the same. It was a prayer to the God, bidding him a temporary farewell, and a prayer to the
Goddess in her mourning. Then there was a chant to honor our ancestors on this night when they
felt so close to us, the dead coming to say hello to the dead. But something started to stir in me
that was not connected to what we were doing in that moment. Someone was calling me,
beckoning to me, and when I turned my head toward the right, the west, I saw her standing with
two figures I couldnt make out on either side. Hair as black as the night, skin as white as my
own, she was breathtaking in this form yet I knew without being told that she was death
personified. For each life I had taken, she had walked behind me to guide their souls on. But she
was no angel. She was a Goddess.
Without a second thought, I broke from the hands holding mine and I went toward her just
as a clap of thunder and a flash of lightning pierced the sky. It was only when I stood before this
deity that I saw who it was she brought with her. On her right stood the woman who had given
me mortal life and on her left was my beloved papa. He was smiling at me. I knew somehow that
I couldnt embrace him though I wanted to so much that I nearly ached with the need. But I
could not ache in the presence of this Goddess. As soon as the desire to do so came it was
replaced with peace. Papa was smiling at me! He did not look at me with disappointment or
disgust at what I had become. Nor will he ever. He knew what you would become when he set
you on your path to destiny the night he died. Yes, it was as you believed all those years ago.
Every soul is born with a destiny though not every person achieves it in a lifetime and this was
your path all the time.
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While I had no doubt that being with Luke was a part of fulfilling my destiny, I could not
believe that becoming a vampire was part of any divine plan. How could it be so? Vampires were
creatures quite set apart from things like destiny or Gods. What makes you think such a thing?
You are creatures made from the vengeance of Gods but you were created by Gods none the
less! You are as much ours as any human can be. You take life. We do not condemn you for that.
We, all of us regardless of the faith or the pantheon we belong to, made each thing you see in this
world from the heavens to the sea, from above to down below, and we hate waste. Humans hate
death now. They fear it. So they assume their Gods must hate it as well but only as it pertains to
them. This is not the case. In order to live you must die and to live again you must be reborn. We
realize and respect the cycle as humans did once. As I said, it is waste we hate. Anything that is
wasted on this world we designed pains us from a plant plucked without reason to blood shed
with no purpose. You kill to live, humans kill to live, animals devour plants that have souls of
their own in order to live, because death and life constantly feed one another in the cycles we all
live by. Make no mistake, Arianne, you are ours, this was your destiny, and your father did guide
you toward it.
Another rumble of thunder shook the very ground I stood on and suddenly a cold rain began
to fall. I could hear Kila singing at a distance behind me yet I knew she was watching and she
saw what I saw. As I looked around I realized the rain was not hitting the bonfires. My eyes fell
where my father had been standing and I realized that I could barely see him now. I whispered I-
love-you over and over again until he was gone completely and again I nearly felt pain but just as
it was coming, the peace inside took over. When I looked at the Goddess I felt more love for her
than I had for the spirit of the woman who was once my mother. So what am I to do with the
information youve told me tonight? I asked, confused by this entire experience.
I cannot tell you that. Your will is your own and what you do with the knowledge you have
is yours alone to decide. Remember this. Just because your body will remain always as it is now,
that does not mean you have escaped the cycles of life. Learn to find the balance. Learn to make
room for your own death inside your life. Physical death is not the only form death takes. The
ebb and the flow will sustain you for all time Suddenly, without so much as a goodbye, the
female figure that stood before me shifted into a raven as black as her hair had been and when
she flew past me, a feather fell on my shoulder. Without the feather I might have thought I had
imagined the entire thing. Perhaps she knew that and this was her solution.
Who the hell was that, Kila? Who did I see tonight? I know you saw her too and I know
you know her name. I demanded to know as we sat inside on the floor of the main hall before
the fire as if we had need of its heat. As soon as we came in Luke went into his study to paint
saying it could not wait. That was fine with me. He hadnt seen anything outside and he had
actually feared that I was lost in a strange trance when he looked over and realized I was off to
the side talking to myself. But Kila knew exactly what happened out there.
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She is the Goddess Morrigan. She has been known to take many shapes, both human and
animal. She is the Goddess of birth, death, and rebirth, the Triple Goddess as we called her, the
Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone. She is also the Goddess of fate, among other things. I only
knew her in the form she appeared in tonight because she showed herself to me for the first time
the night that I was turned in that same shape making it clear that I was a child of Brighid no
longer. I have been Morrigans ever since. Now she has claimed you as her own as well. You
see, we may call upon any God or Goddess for a specific purpose and we can pray to all of them
but each of us has one or two in particular that we are aligned with, so to speak, our patron deity.
Many times we choose them believing we have picked them on our own but the truth is they
always pick us. Usually it isnt as dramatic as what you and I have experienced.
So what now? What does it mean? I asked, actually sticking my hands toward the fire as if
I could warm them.
It means she watches over you and she guides you if you accept her. You can still deny her
if you choose but I cant understand how you might deny the existence of something you just
saw with your own eyes. However, I have no right to make that decision for you. No harm will
come to you if you deny her. You wont make an enemy of her. You simply will not have what
she could offer.
I knew already what I would do. I would accept her of course. How could I not after what I
had just witnessed? And as I nodded in silent agreement with myself on this issue, I felt a strange
joy swell up in me. Rain or no rain, I had to dance. Kila followed me out as if she read my mind
and together on the top of the hill with the bonfires still glowing around us we danced and
danced. She had released the circle and dismissed the elemental guardians so there was nothing
for me to do but spin in circles as the ice cold rain beat down on my hard skin reminding me of
the Goddess who seemed to have called it up just as she had called up the lightning that pierced
the sky.

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Chapter 8
The three of us had a few decades of real happiness in our Scottish Highland world. The
longer I stayed the more Kilas words about the protection she felt during her early life in those
hills made sense to me. Each night that passed seemed to take me further away from the
occasional ugliness of the real world until it seemed as if I could spend my eternity surrounded
by love and magic. I did not foresee the madness that would force me from the Scottish fortress
and back into a world of destruction, death, and revolution.
It all began toward the end of summer in 1786 when Luke received a letter that had him
packing a few belongings in a case as he told me only that he would explain everything when he
returned and that I should prepare myself for the fact that we would be traveling to Paris as soon
as he came home. Kila and I were dissatisfied with his sketchy answers but because he took the
letter with him, all we could do was write Angelus asking if he knew anything and use a spell to
send a letter because we had no address for him. In the meantime, we talked to people in the
villages in the Lowlands while we hunted and we discovered that France was in the middle of
great turmoil, turmoil that was certain to get worse before it got better. The people were
comparing it with the troubles between England and America just before Americas
revolution which led to its independence from the country that had ruled most of the colonies the
last time I had been across the ocean. It seemed America had become a country unto herself a
decade earlier and it was a shock to the two of us that something so large had happened without
either of us hearing of it. Now the common people of France seemed on the verge of complete
anarchy as they quickly tired of being crushed under the weight of their monarchs crown.
Angels response to us, when it finally came nearly a month later, said much the same.
Higher taxes including taxes on the rich that they were previously exempt from, conditions that
were deplorable and included starvation in many cases, and the bitterness over the way that the
King and Queen appeared to be suffering not one bit while their people starved to death and the
cries of the desperate in Paris resounded all around the grounds of Versailles was all pushing the
common people in France past their breaking point. Revolution is bound to follow, he told us,
and the death of the monarchy is coming fast. Was this the reason Luke had left us in such a
hurry? If so, what were his plans? Why did he tell me to prepare myself for a journey to my old
city?
Luke returned in the last week of October. I hadnt heard a word from him in two months
and I had grown frightened, to the point where Kila and I had started making plans to go to Paris
ourselves in order to find him and discover what he was up to. But when he came it was clear he
was unharmed, much to my relief, and I packed a bag as he instructed while he told me what to
expect when we arrived in Paris. It isnt quite pandemonium, not yet, but the tension in the air is
as overpowering as the old stench of Les Innocents. If anyone asks you questions concerning
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your allegiance, whether it is to the people or the crown, say nothing. The common people will
attack you if you swear allegiance to the crown and spies are all over the streets on behalf of the
king and queen handing out death sentences to people who say a word against the monarchy. Our
business in the city has nothing to do with the troubles there and it is best if we stay out of such
affairs.
I knew he was right, that I should stay out of it, but this was my home he was talking about
and everything that was the France of my time was about to fall. How could I walk the streets of
Paris and turn my eyes away from what was happening? You said these troubles are not what
we are there for. So why are we going? What have you been up to the last two months?
Putting his hands on my shoulders, he smiled brilliantly. That is something you will see
when we arrive. I have a surprise for you, my love. But you must be patient. Releasing me with
a kiss, he was about to walk out of the room when he turned around and added, Wear a cape,
your warmest one. An early snow has fallen on France and Paris will look like Moscow by the
time we get there.
We took to the air like two monsters from a fairy tale, my bag clutched tightly in my hand.
Because his mind was open to allow him to use this power, I caught images from Luke that were
both disconcerting and soothing. Things in the city were not as bad as I had feared, not quite yet,
but so many were suffering. Paris had always had its homeless and its hungry living in the streets
regardless of the season but now this was more common than it had ever been while I lived there.
I could remember the way that the poor, sometimes entire families including small children and
babies, would huddle outside of the mess at Les Innocents, ignoring the stench of the place so
they could beg for food from those passing by but now that it had closed They closed Les
Innocents? I cried out in shock. They closed our cemetery? I knew I had to focus because if I
hit the earth at this height I would be crushed in the landing. But I couldnt focus. All I could
think of was Brigitte buried in the ancient family plot that was supposed to be Etiennes and
Etienne who had probably ended up in the heap of bodies always stacked here and there along
with Madame and MademoisellePierreall of them now left with truly nothing, not even a
mass grave, to mark their place. As if they never lived at allI was falling! I tried to keep my
concentration but how could I when my mind was filled with horrible images of bodies tossed
here and there like garbage?
Luke had me. We were traveling higher up and I could see now just how far I had fallen
before he caught me. Now, safe in his embrace, all I could do was sob against his chest. Calm
down, little beauty. We are almost there and then you will see that there is no reason for your
tears. Just keep your mind on the task at hand. We are very close now.
Even after I was able to fly again on my own I kept my hand in his. I needed the comfort of
his touch to block out the horrors in my mind. How could a cemetery close? While it was true
that Les Innocents had been full for centuries and that no amount of expansion could make room
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for all the bodies and it was true that the way remains were disposed of as a result was revolting,
bodies stacked on top of bodies inside the cemetery and in heaps outside the gates as well, that
the stench in the summertime was such that it could choke the strongest stomach in the city from
one end of Paris to the next, I could not see that this was the proper way to handle things. Where
would the bodies end up? Each one from the oldest grave to the freshest corpse had once had
someone who loved them, someone who wept at the news of the death. Now they would be
thrown away, all of these people, as if they were not human at all? I could remember the times I
had sought solace there sitting among the old graves, the ones that had stood for centuries,
paying little attention to the corpses left above ground all around me. It was old death that I came
there for in the winter when the stench wasnt quite as overpowering. I would think of the lives
remembered in stone all around me. I would imagine how the world had looked then and the sort
of human being that the dead person whose grave I spent the day with had been. Was he kind?
Did she love her children? What were their sorrows, their fears? No one would ever do this with
those I had loved then. No one would ever wonder about them. No one would know now that
they had ever existed
I followed Lukes rapid descent toward the earth and I smiled when I opened my eyes and I
realized that the constant sounds of Paris were filling my mind. Just a little way ahead it sat, the
city of my greatest dreams and my worst nightmares, looking the same from where I stood as if it
had not changed at all. But it wasnt toward the city that he led me. We walked toward a square
of land on a hill that had on it a house built where an old chapel had once stood. This house was
the home of Pre Franois de la Chaise, confessor to our beloved Louis XIV, when I first came
to Paris though the man died in 1709. The last time I saw the house it had sat empty as it
appeared it did now. So why had we come? I followed Luke silently as he led me toward the
back of this property and it was then that I saw massive stones standing in the moonlight. There
were five standing in a half-circle with the stone in the middle rising higher than the others.
What is this? I questioned, for surely I knew what it looked like.
I wanted to get vaults but I am not sanctioned to put the dead here. I had to lie to the
officials of the city, you see, and tell them when they refused to allow me the documents I
needed for a cemetery that I wanted to have a memorial garden of sorts for family members
whose bodies had been lost at Les Innocents. I assure you, though, that they are here. Their
bodies are under the stones to throw off anyone who comes around to disprove what I told them.
But theyre here.
He walked at my side as I approached the stones in question. And he rubbed my back with
loving tenderness when I let out a cry. Three of the stones had weeping angels constructed of
marble grieving, it seemed, for Madame, Mademoiselle, and Brigitte respectfully. Madame and
Mademoiselle were on either side of the center stone and their angels each had one hand held to
their face and the other out for her sister-angel in a mirror image. Brigittes angel had eyes cast
toward heaven, her delicate marble hands clutched at her heart where a flower was held,
dangling and wilted. Pierre was laid next to his wife, Brigitte next to my teacher, and I knew
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without looking whose name I would find on the large stone in the center. I had to prepare
myself before I could look up and when I did, I found myself tracing the words Luke had
engraved there with my index finger. The monument was a tribute to Etienne and to his career on
and off the stage, it seemed, but it was the quote that I went over with my finger again and again.
Goodnight, sweet prince. And may flights of angels swing thee to thy rest. Hadnt I said those
words to him before they came to take his body that morning so long ago? Hamlet, our Hamlet,
and I, forever Ophelia in his mind, weeping as I said that goodbye These are so beautiful,
Lucania! How did you find the bodies in that mess at Les Innocents? How did you know?
I had help from a friend. I had to steal the bodies like a proper grave robber though they
were really little more than bones. I left Brigitte in her coffin but the others had no such luxury
and if I had purchased them it might have looked suspicious. I built what I could to hold the
bones. I hope everything is suitable.
Suitable? I questioned, throwing my arms around him. No, none of this is suitable. Its
magnificent. You will never know the burden youve taken from my mind with this. I know you
promised once to provide Etienne with a monument but that was long agoand the others we
had never discussed. I found myself turning away to stroke Madames name as the red tears
streaked down my face. I never got to say goodbye to her just as I never said goodbye to
Mademoiselle or Pierre. Had they worried over me when I disappeared that last night in the
tavern leaving only bodies and an empty room in my wake? Did they think Lucania was a
madman who killed us all? I heard Madames laughter, her soft, Yes! that seemed to come
from nowhere. Turning around I noticed that Luke heard it as well and suddenly I knew that he
and I were not alone here. What did you say the name of your helpful friend was? The one who
told you where the bodies were?
Suddenly the wind whipped up around us and the snow began to fly, a swirl of white
obscuring my view of the land around me. Yet there was something in the distance I didnt
say the name. They asked that I not. I promised them I wouldnt. They only wanted to see you
once more, to have the goodbye denied them in the last moments of their lives.
All of them? I asked softly, wiping at my tears. I looked up at him and I saw that he was
shaking his head no even as his eyes remained glued to the spot in the distance where I had seen
two figures standing side by side. The snow was bitterly cold and blinding making all of this feel
like a dream to me. Are they in purgatory? Is that what their lives led them to in the end? Even
as I asked this I knew it wasnt right. A raven had come to perch on Etiennes stone despite the
cold that should have driven it away. Of course, this was no ordinary raven. Morrigan had come
to take the souls as soon as they said their goodbyes.
I felt arms go around my neck as I sat on my heels on the wet ground. The arms were cold
but full of love, the love of the woman who saved my life so I could ride away from her tavern
toward my own strange fate. I knew if I tried to touch her she would disappear so I kept my
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hands in my lap even as she lifted my hood to cover my head from the cold. I love you,
Madame, and I am so sorry for the mess I made in the end.
I could hear her voice whispering against my ear, Ah, my bb, my sweet bb, you left no
mess. Only worry. But all that is done now. You found your place at last.
Looking up, I saw Etienne leaning in his cocky way against his own headstone, that half-grin
of his saying everything without a word. I wait for no one, you realize. But I could not go
without a final bow to my Ophelia. You would make me wait a century for it! Before my eyes
he did give me a bow before he kissed my cheek and I closed my eyes when the raven took flight
because I did not want to see the two shadows she carried behind her.
When I opened my eyes I was surprised that the snow was still falling. For a moment I
believed Morrigan would take that with her as well when she left. Luke was sitting behind me
with his arms wrapped around me in his protective way and there was a white rose on each stone
despite the impossibility of it. Thank you again, my love, for the closure as much as everything
else. It seems strange that I should find such peace in our goodbyes as the world we knew
crumbles just outside.
No, not strange, little beauty, only human. Come, lets find our victims for the night so I
can show you the way things have changed.
It took little time to find my target, a spy for the palace who had sent fifteen men to their
deaths for treason in one months time. I suppose I wasnt sure of the side I intended to take, if I
took one at all, until I walked into Paris and I read the minds of those I passed. The king was not
a man cut of the same cloth his ancestors in my time had been cut from. That was apparent. The
people blamed his wife, Marie Antoinette, for the financial ruin they believed France had fallen
into. Of course they did. She was, in their minds, an outsider who cared nothing for France.
However, I knew enough about the monarchy to know that if the country was indeed broke, it
was likely the actions of her husband and his cronies that led to it. As I sank my teeth into the
neck of a man who was sending his own brothers in the streets to the gallows, snatching them up
in the night so their friends and families would not know what the king was doing, so revolt
would not break out, I knew that Angelus was right. A revolution would not come yet but it
would surely come in the years following if there was to be an end to this tension.
We spent the day in Lukes tavern room where he had stayed since he came two months
earlier and before sleep he told me of the final days of Les Innocents, how a wall in the cemetery
had collapsed under the weight of bodies and how the air had actually turned to poison in the
city. Fruit turned rotten before ones eyes, ink changed color when it hit the page, the people
were all but suffocating after so many years of inhaling the foul odor of death. I was still upset
about all of it though I knew that closing it and relocating the bodies that could be relocated was
the best thing to do. The truth is, there was no place in France big enough to hold one thousand
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years of generations passed and surely Luke knew that the same as I did. When I fell asleep I was
haunted by the image of corpses choking the great Seine.
The next evening we went home to Scotland but over the next two years I returned to Paris
many times. Sometimes I went alone while on other occasions Luke and Kila joined me. Each
time I returned afraid that I would find the city in flames, the war begun at last, yet again and
again I found nothing changed except for the increased tension in the air. I was determined to
somehow be there for my people when things at last came to a head but then in March of 1788 a
new crisis was brought to my attention that would carry Luke and me back across the ocean to
our beloved New Orleans.
Arianne, wake up. I have news, terrible news
The war has started? I asked, sitting upright immediately. I saw a note in Lukes hands as
soon as I opened my eyes and I resisted the urge to grab the paper and read this news for myself.
No, my love, this time it is not Paris that is in trouble. There has been a fire, a great fire, in
the heart of New Orleans. Much of the city was destroyed two nights ago and the people are in a
panic. I told you that the Spanish have the city now, remember? Well, according to Domingo
they are offering the people but a fraction of what it will cost to rebuild. I am sure you would
agree with me that to rebuild using wood will only result in another fire sometime in the next
fifty years. The people need bricks, mortar, and Spain simply wont give them enough.
We must go at once. We will find a port to sail from and we will bring with us the supplies
you think we will need to begin. We will send for more when we get there and we see what we
need. Is the theater still standing? I asked, getting out of bed and dressing at once.
Its gone, my love. Every building we own has burned to the ground. Nearly nine hundred
buildings burned. The people, like I said, are in a state of panic. Their homes, their
establishments, everything they hold dear went up in flames. With the Spanish influence I
imagine the style of architecture has changed so dont be surprised by that when the people want
to put up buildings that are quite different from the ones we were used to there. Also, I am not
sure what language is most common there now. Slavery is still legal. The people still tend to do
as they please though I understand that an attempt has been made to bring some law and order to
the city
Domingo and the girl that Angel called his granddaughter, Olivia, had spent years in New
Orleans and Domingo wrote Luke regularly concerning the condition of the city. When I took
this from Lukes mind I was angry. I was angry that he had them living in and running my
theater and I was angry that he had kept up on the city without once updating me on its progress.
But there was no time for petty grievances. The place needed us. Rather, it needed Lukes
considerable, never ending flow of money. Either way, we had to put a plan into action at once. I
was calm as I asked, Have we the money we need to truly help these people? They not only
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need their homes and their businesses rebuilt, they need clothes and food. Those who lost
everything will need furniture once the new structures come up. Can we truly help them with all
of this? If not, I would rather stay here and send the supplies to help with the rebuilding. These
past two years have broken the strength I once had for looking into the eyes of a starving city
knowing I cannot fix it all.
I told you once before, money is never an issue. Ive spent a great many years accumulating
it and I add to it all the time. If you want to provide for all of the needs of the people until they
can again tend to their own, that is what we shall do. You realize that all of this work may take
years. You may not see this house or Paris again for a decade.
I am well aware, yes. I replied, packing up a few dresses while making a mental note to
have Kila send the rest. I appeared to be in the role of a leader as I walked down the hill to my
friends house and told her the news. I appeared to have only action in my mind as we traveled to
Edinburgh where one could now gain passage to New Orleans. But in truth I was terrified. What
was happening around me was more than I thought I would see over the span of three centuries
and here I hadnt yet come to the end of my first. Civilizations fell, governments toppled, cities
burnedyes, I knew this. I had read of many accounts where things like the trouble in France
and the fire in New Orleans had occurred. Always they came to some sort of end and people
picked up the pieces. But I felt as we boarded the ship a few nights later with the supplies we
needed to start the rebuilding of the city in tow like the whole world was changing and possibly
coming apart right before my eyes. And though I was able to stuff down the thoughts, I was
undeniably afraid of it all.
When we stepped off the ship in New Orleans, a look in the distance confirmed what we had
been told. I held my head high in defiance of the fear that was lodged in my chest as I walked
forward. Buildings were still smoldering creating a terrible black fog over the city and crowds of
people were huddled together along the primitive streets. I found hope in the fact that the people
were attempting to pull together through this madness, that those who had not suffered
devastation at the hands of the fire were allowing people who had lost everything to pack into
their homes and their businesses at night. However, too few places survived and too many people
were displaced. Something occurred to me suddenly. What shall we do for shelter until we have
a structure built up to replace the theater? I whispered.
Our only option is the ground. That is what Domingo and Olivia have done. They nearly
died in the fire, you know. If the theater had burned during the day
I nodded, fighting against the possibility of what might have happened to them had the sun
been up. We went in search of the pair and when we got close to where they were my senses
picked up that same air of malice from Domingo that had caught my attention when he came to
the city decades earlier. Luke seemed to believe this creature had changed for the good, that he
had no connection to the monster I had heard he once was. I was not so sure. We needed his help
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in the rebuilding so I would keep my thoughts to myself but I would also keep an eye on him. If
he called for his old pal Aurelio, the what-ifs of the fire would be the least of his problems.
I was impressed with the air of authority Luke possessed as he went around the remaining
establishments and announced an important meeting in the town square. He even demanded that
the people cover their faces against the lingering smoke as this place was the most damaged in
the city and the smoke was hovering so thick even a vampire could not see completely through it.
No one questioned him. No one asked him who the hell he thought he was. They were too
desperate for help, too hopeful that this stranger was bringing with him some good news, to do
anything but follow us. When all of those who were coming was gathered in a circle around us,
Luke began by introducing Domingo and Olivia and explaining that the pair were friends of ours
who had come to look after establishments passed down to him and me through family members
who helped settle the city four decades earlier. It was in honor of that family legacy, he said, that
we had come to help rebuild what had been destroyed and damaged all around. We needed lists,
he told the people, of what they needed in materials, tools, and goods to live on. He would send
for all of it as soon as the lists had been collected. We were staying outside of the city, he told
them, in an undisclosed location and when he was asked why he wouldnt say where he was
staying, he replied simply that given the information he was sharing with them he did not want to
risk someone killing him in his sleep thinking he had gold in his pockets. All of this they
accepted. Why wouldnt they? This was the hope they were looking for.
The lists were to be given to the owner of the only tavern left in this part of the city where
Luke would collect them. After the crowd had dispersed and we walked around with the vampire
couple that had acted as the undead guardians of the place in our wake, Luke told me that when
he sent his order for supplies to Europe he was also sending along a letter to Angelus imploring
him and any vampire who could spare the time to come and help us in this large undertaking. He
would explain that we currently had no place of shelter but he would also assure whoever came
that we would rebuild our theater as soon as it was possible and under it we would create a
vampire lair like the one we had before. By the end of the first week both the letter and the order
were sent out and work had started on the houses that were lost. They were few, the houses,
compared with the amount of businesses that were gone but we saw them as the most important
with all of the people who crowded around without a home. While we worked Luke told me that
he knew our kind would come together to help us but I simply couldnt imagine it. I honestly
thought that we would be lucky to have one or two of the vampires we knew come across the
ocean to offer assistance in this very human problem.
Angelus was the first vampire to arrive and with him he brought Kila, something that
shocked me completely considering how rare it was that she traveled outside of her own country.
Angel assured us that others were coming, that he had sent notices to the underground cities
explaining what had happened and depicting New Orleans as the most vampire-friendly city in
North America which I suppose was accurate enough. We used up the supplies as soon as they
could arrive it seemed and in time, just as Angel and Luke had told me, vampires from all over
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Europe arrived as well. I recognized a few of the faces that greeted us from our time in the cities
but there were so many I did not know that I found myself on edge fearing for the humans in the
city and for the future of the city itself.
Despite my fears, everyone seemed to be there for the same purpose and they all seemed to
share my vision for the city. No, the humans would not accept us if we told them what we were
and we did not expect that of them. But the people here did not ask questions, they did not peek
in the windows of the large plantation house we acquired after the French family who owned it
returned to Paris in a hurry, they simply did not meddle the way so many people did and that was
enough for us. Now and then a vampire would come with violence in mind and that vampire was
usually dealt with by Angel and Luke, one way or the other. Casualties were kept to a minimum
in the city itself as places nearby gained larger populations allowing us to spread out and hunt
elsewhere. As the city grew up around us once more, as people started getting their lives back
together and our own establishments were rebuilt, the vampires who pulled together their wealth
and their efforts to restore the city seemed to realize that the undead did not have to confine
themselves to cities hidden from the world in order to have a community that was ours, strange
as it might be to build such a community alongside human beings.
A little over a year after the fire a ship came in from Paris and on it was half of the city of
the undead. It was me that some sought out, the four vampires I had met once on the streets of
the city, as they told me that madness had finally erupted in the place that we all loved. They
stormed the Bastille! The people have made their position as clear as it could be! And it isnt just
in Paris, Arianne! No, not at all! The common people are rising up against the aristocracy,
looting the fancy houses, killing those who stand in their way! The revolution has come!
So why the hell have you come here? I asked, coming off the ladder I was using to work
on a roof as soon as the frantic female vampire started speaking.
The little group, two men and two women, looked around at one another as if they didnt
want to admit that they were running but they knew they had no choice. What are we to do?
The woman who had spoken before asked me. We are from a different time. We dont
understand this, any of this! Revolution, Civil War, that was the way of the English and their
kind. It was not our way! We loved our monarchs in our time and they loved us as it was their
duty from God to love us! We come up to hunt and then we return to our own place, our city that
still remembers the days of gilded beauty and glorious monarchies. None of this makes sense to
us and if you had come from our world, our France, it would not make sense to you either. But
you are of this age, more or less. You were reading and writing, working, befriending royals,
long before you were turned. You are a woman of the Enlightened Age. If there is a place for us
here in the Little Paris we would like to stay but I know you will want to return. I wish you luck.
But do not get it in your head that you can be of service to this madness. Your lover owns a
Chateau and you once worked on the Royal Stage. You are no more common than we were.
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I was angered by this judgment. What I did with the last years of my mortal life did not erase
the humble way I lived all the years before them. That is where you are wrong, friend! Those
people who stormed the Bastille stealing the royal weapons, those who are working to overthrow
the lords in their mansions who starved the people working their land as long as the country has
existed, those are my people! I struggled as they have struggled, I starved as they have starved, I
knew the pain of a long hard winter and I knew what it was like to work too hard to receive so
little so do not tell me I have nothing to offer them!
Luke was telling the group how to get to the house we all shared outside of town while I
handed my tools to Domingo. Luke and I had discussed what we would do when this night came,
when the revolution in France had finally begun, and he had promised we would go back
immediately so as he took my hand and led me to the theater where Kila was busy putting her
finishing touches on everything, I didnt have to ask anything or say a word. Inside I was a wreck
of nerves and I hoped as we walked that Kilas rational logic would calm me. When we arrived I
stood outside while Luke went in to fetch her and I saw her nodding her head as he whispered to
her on their way out. She had never said outright that she would come with us to France if we
went back but it looked as if that was her plan as she looked back one time at the theater with
wistfulness in her gaze. Dont you love what I did with the place? She asked as she put her arm
around my waist.
I do. I replied with a smile and I meant it. She had mixed dark sinister elements like
paintings of demons with the most heavenly depictions of angels and sunlight to create a dream-
like feeling to the place. I had to admit that some of the things she had done was better than the
original touches I had put on the place. But the theater was the furthest thing from my mind.
We are going to book passage right now and well discuss all of this when we are on the
ship. Spain may technically control this place but many of the people here still have ties to
France and more than one intends to do what we are doing. Not everyone is going back to fight
for the same side, if you get what I am saying. Kila whispered. I nodded, knowing she had read
the minds of people around us the entire time she had been in the city. With her it wasnt
something she could help. She was like the worst mortal gossip in that way and whenever she
was in a city she had to find out all she could about the people she was sharing space with.
Because of the fighting in the city and the troubles all around the country, we had to take a
ship to the city in Scotland that we had booked passage from when we came the year before. For
three nights I tried to work as I had the whole time we had been there and I tried not to think of
what was happening on the other side of our world. Kila had also said something I couldnt
understand that troubled me. When we discovered we had to go to Scotland, she had smiled and
declared this good news but she wouldnt explain until we were on the damned ship. So I worked
and I waited. I waited to hear everything she and Luke were holding back as long as we
remained in Little Paris.
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I was practically bursting at the seams as we boarded the ship and found our rooms where
we had requested them, as close to steerage as we could get. When the ship began to move, the
three of us huddled together in the room Luke and I shared and we talked telepathically about
what I had to expect and what I wanted from this journey. You do not want to return just to
watch the old ways fall. I know you too well to think that. So why is it so important that you go
back? Kila asked.
Luke said we have plenty of money, that we never have to worry about going broke, and I
am sure the people will need supplies. They will need more weapons and powder than even the
Bastille was able to provide. It may be warm now but these things can drag on for years and they
will need warm clothes, blankets, food. No matter how poor the country may be, you know as
well as I do that the royal family and the royal military has funds for this, far more than the
common peasant in France could save in a lifetime. The people have the loyalists and the royals
outnumbered, of that I have no doubt. Many of them fought with Americans in that revolution
from what I understand so they have some experience. I heard from one man that the young ones
joining the common mans forces were taught to fight by their fathers who served in America,
that they learned techniques from generals that will help them fight in new ways or something.
Anyway, the way I see it, they have the human numbers but they lack the financial means to pull
this off because it is the commoners fighting the richest bastards in the land. We can help them.
Yes, we can. Luke assured me as he took my hand.
Kila nodded at this and for a moment she was silent. I knew this silence wasnt because she
had nothing left to say but because she wasnt sure how to say what she thought. I know that
you relate to the people in the streets, that you feel as if you are kin to them still, and I
understand that. I am the same, you know. When the battle came to my neighbors in the east just
before you came to me from Prague, I was ready with both a sword and a spell. When the
bastards outlawed our pipes, I took them up for the first time in centuries simply to prove a point.
But I have never been dear friends with the English or their ancestors. It was different for me two
centuries ago when the wars between the Highland clans broke out and it was neighbor against
neighbor. Those old ties are not so easy to break. The grandfather to this king you want to aid in
overthrowing was one of your best friends and you adored him. I have seen governments fall and
leaders fall with them. There is a chance this king will be dead by the end of this revolution. Can
you put aside the love of his grandfather to do what you say you want to do?
I had to truly contemplate this question to give an honest reply. I was actually surprised by
that but the truth is, she was right. Louis still held a place in my heart and this king was a child of
his line directly. What if I saw him and I could see my friend in his eyes? Could I still help the
people cut him down? Yes. I answered finally, in my mind as we had all been talking since this
began. Yes, I can put it aside. He may be bound to Louis by blood but if he had been the man
his grandfather was he would have never done to the people what he has done claiming it his
divine right to starve them and abuse them. Louis would turn over in his grave at what has
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become of the monarchy! So yes, I can side with the people against this man no matter who his
ancestor is.
The fact that you took the time to consider it makes me believe your word. Now, what are
our other options besides giving the people money? I have spells that were said to have turned
the tide in the Scottish fight for freedom allowing Robert the Bruce to win the final battle on the
land of my fathers father with the magical aid of my mothers mother. It helps that Morrigan
was with my grandmother and my mother just as she is with us now. Morrigan is a Goddess of
battle among her many talents. Between the spells and her guidance on the battlefields, we can
do quite a bit to help the people. That is why I am glad that we had to come to Scotland. We need
the book and I have to think of some way to transport the supplies. I need to be in France when
we cast this spell. This isnt something that can be done from a distance. Which leads me to my
last question. Where the hell are we going to stay? The chateau is far too dangerous. The people
may have tried to destroy what was left of it already.
I had not seen the home Luke shared with me since the night he took me away from it,
caught between death and immortality. I had never wanted to return to the place. I did not want
to see what had become of it or how the rest of the century had changed it. As far as I was
concerned, the place was lost to me after that fateful night. Yet when Kila mentioned it I could
not imagine staying anywhere else. No, it wont be dangerous at all. How long have I been a
vampire now? Over seventy years? No one remembers us anymore and because Luke has owned
that place all of these centuries the people in my village, though they are a poor lot, have never
known the misery of working a lords land. I will go to the square of the village and I will tell
them that the chateau is my husbands ancestral land, that he stands beside of them against the
monarchy and the aristocracy as his ancestors would have, and that, as proof of this loyalty, they
have only to remember that never has he or anyone in his family acted as lord over the village
even though they had the right by law because with that house came the town. Yes, Luke, I know
now why all paths led to the house. I know now why the town was built around the chateau. All I
never bothered to learn about the original way of things in the village I learned from the stories I
was told in Paris about the rest of the villages like mine. You could have used them all and you
did not and it is that I will use to our advantage. I declared passionately, admitting for the first
time that I knew he was a member of the aristocracy, that his title was attached somehow to that
house and the land.
I wasnt just the master of that house. I built that town. I had a premonition that you were
going to be born in that place as Charlotte but when I arrived there was only the half-shell of the
chateau left unfinished and there was not a soul around for miles. So I built the town as I had
seen it and in time people came, people settled, and eventually the premonition came true and I
heard your first cry. It was the only time besides this last that I knew where you would be long
before your birth. But none of that may matter to the people. You tell them what you wish but
Kila and I will stand with you and we will read their minds. If there is danger we are leaving
immediately. I have never had luck with that little village of yours. I have no reason to think that
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this time when the tension is at its highest and conditions are at their worst, things will go well
for me there.
Fair enough. I conceded. Everything was out in the open, our plans were temporarily in
place though we realized they might change when we saw the chaotic nation, and all we could do
was wait for the ship to hit dry land. With a bit of magic, the strength of a Goddess, and the
never ending coffers of a vampire, I was determined that when I left the shores of France again I
would leave behind a free society with only the lingering ghost of a monarchy in the horizon.

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Chapter 9
The journey from Scotland to France was full of tension. We had the things we needed
from Kilas house and we traveled by air after we were told by some men at the port where we
docked that the boarders into France were closely guarded by members of the royal army who
were checking anyone coming in to make sure that the common man had no one outside of the
country to smuggle weapons to them. Because I knew that Luke had gone to the house we had in
the countryside I had asked him questions about the work we needed to do on the place, knowing
that it had to be nothing more than a burned out shell . Over and over he assured me that it was
fine but he would say no more than that. It did not occur to me that when we arrived I would find
the place in the same shape it was in before the fire, that even the roses would be in full bloom
again, so when that was what I found it was like a punch in the gut. I hadnt realized how much I
had been relying on its shabby state to make this move easier for me until I no longer had that
safety net under me. You repaired it? You restored it? Why? I cried out. Surely he had not
intended for us to return one day, not after what had happened here and the memories that
lingered like ghosts.
Gently pushing me forward with the purple roses filling up my senses at my side, he said
softly, This place may have ended your mortal life but it gave us the greatest gift. It gave us this
life we share. How could I abandon it in the shape the townspeople left it in? And what is this
place without our roses? I had it restored years ago.
Kila seemed positively giddy as she sat down the things in her hand to dance around the
gardens. At one point she declared that this house was famous as the place where the beast
became the man or the beauty became the beast, depending upon the way one looked at things,
and I grew furious at her words, irrationally furious in fact. Yes, this place is so wonderful that I
cannot bring myself to go inside. You see this spot right here? I pointed at where I once lay
dying. It was once stained with the last of my mortal blood. Oh, and if you look up you will see
the turret where Luke told me he wanted me to leave this house and his life immediately. Over
there youll see the road I took out at the end of that terrible night, my heart broken and my eyes
filled with tears. Yeah, its a magical wonder, this goddamned place! I spat out causing her to
stop her dance and Luke to come toward me. In his eyes I saw anger or disappointment but when
he embraced me I could have sworn there was understanding in his touch.
Come, little beauty. He said simply as he took my hand and practically dragged me into
the house. It wasnt all terrible. You know that. Look, here is the parlor where I first fell in love
with your defiance, with the woman you were in this life instead of loving you only for who you
had been. Even the furniture looked the same. I was cold just standing there looking around at
the reproduction chairs in front of the fireplace where we used to sit and talk. But before I could
think too much on this room, he pulled me down the hall. I knew where we were going and I
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knew that Kila was following behind us. And here is your beloved library where the world was
opened up to you in a way that it had never been before.
I laughed despite myself. It broke my heart that the shelves were bare but he was right about
the memories of this great room and the way I once felt here. Walking around, I reminded him of
other memories I had here as well. Yes. It was also the room that led to the discovery of what
you are and it was the room where you threw the biggest tantrum of our life together, burning my
damned books and telling me I was free to commit suicide if I chose. I looked at him and he
was smiling. It took only seconds before both of us were laughing in the way that a vampire tried
to avoid laughing in front of human beings. It was hard, booming, hysterical, and there was no
time limit on how long it could last but I needed it so much in that moment. All of the petty
arguments, the struggles, the laughter and the tears that we had shared inside this place of marble
and glass was flooding my mind in a way I suppose I hadnt allowed since the night I was turned.
Walking away through the parlor and toward the stairs I led us to the third floor parlor and like a
tour guide I gestured inside now directing my words at Kila. And in here you will find the room
where I once woke up cold and terrified chained to this bastards stone wallnaked of course.
Down the hall there you will find my former bedchamber where we first knew each other in a
carnal way after months of him holding me at arms length, and at the very end of the hall is the
kitchen where our beloved Cook burned many meals before he learned to use a modern stove.
Yes, there were good memories here as well. There were probably far more good memories than
bad. But, my beloved, you seem to forget I turned to face him with anger rising up fresh and
hot inside of me. just how goddamned bad the bad times were!
Using the speed I never possessed during my time here in the past, I was at the entrance of
the turret in no time at all. This he could have changed, I told myself. This he should not have
left as a memorial to all that almost ended us. The chair was in the same place, the candles were
still sitting around the windows in cold pools of hardened wax, and I realized that the fire had
never touched this room, the one room I would have given anything to destroy. I had my hands
on the back of the chair where Luke once kept vigil waiting for people to come and put an end to
his life and before I could think on it, I found myself throwing the chair across the room, nearly
breaking out the windows to my left in the process. I felt Lukes cold, hard arms go around my
waist and I held on to him as tightly as he held to me as he whispered, No, I have not forgotten
how bad some memories were. How could I? You dont live with them like I do. This is the first
time you have ever attempted to face them at all and I cannot let them go. But it took so little,
this place, compared to what it gave in the end.
I knew his words were the truth but I still felt uneasy there in the nights that followed. So, to
fight these feelings, I went straight into action going into the village and calling upon those who
supported the common mans revolution to meet at the chateau on the hill the following night. I
said very little beyond that and I would not answer any questions but when I was asked in the
tavern why the people should trust those in the lords house I did as I said I would and I called
upon the history of those who owned the place, those who never lorded over the people in the
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past or in the present. It was Luke who talked to the men who came, half the men in the village
by the looks of it, as Kila and I made ourselves scarce. While anyone could support the cause,
these were still the times when men alone were allowed to discuss military matters. It would
have looked odd if we had joined the conversation and laid out our plans for battle and after the
incident we experienced the last time we were here, the last thing we wanted to do was appear as
anything more than ordinary.
I have offered to let the men use this house as a hiding place, a hospital, whatever they
need. So I will need a lock made like the one you sent with us to Prague, one that will open only
with our blood, for the bedchamber door. And the three of us should share a room for safety.
They will use the turret of course
What? Have you gone mad? You are going to allow humans to troop up and down the
halls outside our sleeping place by night and day? No, I think not. You can give them the three
floors below but you will not show them, the descendants of the men who murdered me, the
secret passage to where we sleep!
Luke looked at me with ice in his gaze. Something dark crossed his features that I could not
understand. Now they are the descendants of your murderers? Excuse me, Arianne, I was under
the impression that the reason we completely uprooted our lives once more and came back in the
middle of a damned war when those who can do so are fleeing from it is because you see these
people as your descendants. I am doing what you insisted we do! When the Gods and the ways
of ancient Greece fell I was thousands of miles away and I let it fall without interfering. When
the Roman Empire fell, Angelus did the same. We did not meddle. If you insist upon meddling in
human affairs you must put yourself at the mercy of humans from time to time. They need the
turret, I promised you I would do everything I could to help, and they are getting what they
need!
This was the first time he had ever made it clear that he didnt approve of what I wanted in
this matter and I was shocked. But even more than that, I was hurt. He made me feel foolish. I
stood up and walked to the window in his bedchamber gazing out at the world below, the world
to which I no longer belonged but to which I was forever linked because there was no other place
for me. I could hear Kila seething behind me. How dare you do that to her, Lucania! How dare
you act as if she is the first vampire to aid a human cause! And how could you treat her the same
way Aurelio treated me when I wanted to put an end to the destruction of the witches? I thought
you were better than that, you who stood at my side to strike down the Inquisition! Would you
rather she go mad with worry over what she cannot control as I am going mad with all that is
happening in the Highlands that I am not allowed to interfere in for the first time in my life?
That isnt what I meant! Of course there are times when we should do what we can. This is
our world too after all. Was I not the one who readied us for the trip to New Orleans when I
heard of the fire? I am not completely cold and I understand why she does this
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I spun around when I heard that and I wiped at my tears as I pointed at him. You dont
understand a damned thing about why I am doing this! How could you? Your step-father may
have been a bastard but he was a rich bastard and your real father was a king! When I was human
I spent much of my life helpless to fight against the world! I couldnt produce the food to feed us
when the ground would give nothing of our crops, I couldnt stop death from taking my parents,
and I could not stop the hands of time from destroying the few good things I had in that life!
Now you tell me you have unlimited wealth that you will share with me and I am as close to
immortal as a former human being can be. I have no fear of death or time and I do not have to
stand back and watch New Orleans burn or the common man of France be cut down for wanting
freedom! I can change the things that would have been beyond my power to affect before I
became what I am! Do not tell me that you understand anything about the sort of helplessness I
am fighting against with the things I do! After a moment of silence I added softly, Let them
have the damned turret. Perhaps they will be the ones who finally destroy the fucking thing.
Strange as it seems now, that is the only dispute I recall having with Luke during the bloody
years of the revolution. The three of us pulled together, taking turns going by air to places all
over Europe to get weapons and gun powder, cloth and thread to make clothes, food, and even
medicine. We stole so much in those years from ships and hospitals. What we took from shops
like the food the men needed, the food the women and children at home needed, we left money
for beyond what the things were worth but everything else we took from governments and we
felt no guilt. We even robbed ships with supplies meant for the royal militaryy, something Kila
and I delighted in. No matter where the battles of the moment were there were always people in
our house. We not only took care of the men, we took care of the village below. Kila and I did
the battle spell to aid the revolutionaries and we charmed their weapons for battle as well. But
there was one thing Kila forgot to mention when we called out to Morrigan for assistance, that
she fight on the side of the men in our house. She did not tell me that sometimes Morrigan asks
something of those who make a request of her.
One night as Kila took supplies to the village for the people left there and Luke was on a
mission to steal more of what we needed, I stood at the door to greet a band of soldiers bringing
in their wounded. Some of the men would live. I could see it straight off. In a few cases the
wounds looked far worse than they were and in other cases the men, though wounded, were able
to walk in the door with a bit of help. But there were others who were barely clinging to life.
Their injuries were so extensive there wasnt a doubt that not even a vampire could save their
mortal lives. I hated to see those men knowing what they perhaps had not realized themselves,
that their lives would be finished by dawn. As those who could walk were taken to the sick beds
on the second floor and those who were badly wounded were put in the library and the study, I
listened to their comrades who brought them in as they told me what they knew of each mans
injuries. I offered the men lodging in the house telling them there were spare rooms on the third
floor but they all insisted on going back to their camp which was not a long distance from the
house. When they left I decided to begin as I had done many times before with the dressing of
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the wounds and the giving out of strong drugs Luke had brought back from a mad journey to
Asia.
I walked into the library where the three men lay who would die before nights end and as I
reached into the secret place on the wall where we kept the oriental drugs that eased pain, I saw
Morrigan on the other side of the room as she had not appeared to me since that first time in
Scotland. Put it down, daughter. Save it for the men upstairs. These men may be breathing but
they are dead. Now, you have called to me to guide your men in battle, have you not? I nodded,
too stunned to speak. And so I shall. But I need you to do something for me. Do not let the men
who come into this house with their insides hanging outside of the body, the men who are
mutilated beyond repair, dont let them lay here and suffer. The best doctors in the world could
not fix this and you know it. These men know they are dying and they do not want it prolonged.
Read their minds and you will see. Bring them to me. Use your dark gift for something good, for
ending their suffering, and bring them to me. I would do it myself if I were allowed to.
I was about to cast her away from me. How could she ask me to take the lives of these
soldiers? But before I could poison our bond with my words, she gestured toward the men and I
knew what she wanted me to do. I went to each make-shift bed and I held each hand and with all
three of them it was the same. Yes, they knew they were dying and yes, they were afraid but
more than that, they were in misery unlike anything a human usually experiences. They wanted
to die if there was no chance that they might live and I knew that there was not. How will I do
this? I whispered, my eyes locked on hers.
With mercy, love, and grace, dear one. You will be kind to them as Death himself would
not be. Bring them to me and I will see them on. You have my word.
I was weeping as I nodded feeling as if this were wrong yet knowing somehow that it truly
was the most merciful thing I could do for them all. I walked over to the first man in the line. All
of them were too far gone to notice what I was about to do even if I was obvious about it, which
I would not be. I would be discreet and I would be kind and I would spare them even a moment
of fear if I could. Looking into the mans eyes I saw that he was really little more than a boy,
maybe fifteen. I glamoured him so he would feel peace and I took him back in his mind to a
happy day from his childhood. Quickly on paper that Morrigan handed me, I wrote down the
names of his parents and the village they lived in so I could send a letter with his uniform telling
them what had become of their boy. When he was smiling, lost in better days, I reached over to
kiss his cheek, not yet trimmed of its baby fat, and I drank the blood from his neck even as I held
his hand. I had never killed like this before and if I had had my way, I never would have again. It
was too tragic, too emotional, compared with the cold blooded killers I left in dark alleys. As I
closed the boys eyes and adjusted his hands in the usual position, I saw that he had smiled all
through his death and somehow that made it all the harder on my soul.
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I did the same thing with the two others in the room, careful to glamour them back to good
times, remembering to get the names and addresses of next of kin, doing everything right, I
suppose. And when I was finished I had three smiling bodies and a Goddess who was weeping as
I was weeping. Until we saw the souls, that is. They gathered around her as if they knew her
even though in life they would have had no idea who she was. If they were expecting an angel to
take them to heaven they gave no indication of it. They followed her as if they had waited for her
all along.
Though my heart was heavy I went to the second floor and I dressed the minor wounds of
those brought there. I told them that I would have come sooner but I was sitting with their
comrades and I told them that the trio was dead. Two men wept at the news while five others
seemed not to care. I gave them the medicine that would take their pain away and I made sure
they had plenty of water by their beds before I left them to their sleep. I then went out on the
back steps and I wept for the lives I took because they could not be saved. When Kila returned
she found me in this way and I didnt give her time to ask before I told her what had happened.
Oh, love, shes called you. She has given you a job to carry out for her that you can never
relinquish.
What the fuck are you talking about? I demanded.
As the Goddess of Death she has made you her angel of mercy, so to speak. If you should
ever find yourself in a place where there is death in the form of battles or terrible illnesses like
the plague, if you find yourself face to face with someone who is soon to die and cannot be
saved, Morrigan expects you to do just as you did tonight. It wont be constant. She isnt going
to be so cruel to you. But in this way, taking human life will serve some good as you can take
away their pain and grant them peace in their final moments, moments that might have dragged
on in terrifying agony without you. My duty to her involves battle. That is why I am here. I have
to aid a side when it is possible and I have to pick the side based on a moral code of right and
wrong. I must do everything I can for this side until the war is over and in return she does the
same in her capacity. There have been times when the only reason I have left Scotland at all for
centuries was to attend to the battles she called me to. But she is never too demanding, never too
overwhelming. Would you like me to take the bodies out while you write the letters for the
families?
So that was the way of it. No more was said between us on the subject and I did not tell
Luke about this new mission of mine. Yet sometimes when a man beyond saving came to us
Morrigan appeared and I did what she wanted me to do. I came to see the good in this job of
mine but I cannot say that it ever became an easy task for me. Like so many unpleasant things in
life, it was just something that had to be done.
Despite our work with the army, the three of us stayed out of the politics of it all. We felt as
if our duty was to the men and that duty took up the whole of our focus and concern. However,
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as the whole thing grew we heard the stories about the new constitution when it was drafted,
about newly elected officials declaring war on Austria, and finally we heard that the King and his
Queen had been imprisoned and condemned to die by the guillotine for treason against their
people. The soldiers who told us this news insisted that we go to Paris when the dates of their
executions came, at least the execution of the king, that we deserved to witness it after all we had
done to help the men, but of course we did not go. The execution of the king occurred in January
of 1793 in broad daylight so it would have been impossible for us to see it but even if it had
occurred in the dead of night I would have remained at home. I took no pleasure in the death of
Louiss grandson. Though I knew it could come to this, I felt as if they people had done enough
by overthrowing him and that, while they were entitled to feel joy over his death, I had no reason
to share that sentiment.
In the months following the kings death the war hit a fevered pitch it seemed. At times I felt
as if the whole country had gone mad as it fought with other nations around it and even within
itself, revolutionary fighting revolutionary over petty disputes. Yet no matter how bad things
looked we kept on feeding and clothing the soldiers and the people, we kept tending to the
wounded, even traveling to battlefields far from our home to offer assistance, and we prayed that
it would soon come to an end and that France would be stronger, better, for all the madness she
had endured.
It seems ironic now that for all we put into the revolution we did not get to see the end of it.
In December of 1794 as the world around us grew ever more insane and we tried to sort out the
mess that was being made by officials in Paris, we received word that another fire had struck our
beloved New Orleans. It wasnt as large as the one six years earlier had been, destroying a little
over two hundred structures this time, but many of the structures destroyed were homes and the
people were in need of our assistance once more. Angel told us that many of the vampires who
had come to help before we left had gone from the city when the work was finished and that he
was sure we were the only ones who could provide what the people needed. We needed to go. I
wanted to go. But the people in France were depending on us and we could not leave them. My
heart was broken in that moment, feeling as if I were a mother with two sick children an ocean
apart and to sit at the bedside of one I had to abandon the other. Luke wrote him back at once
telling him just how deep we had gotten ourselves into the revolution and we all continued our
work in France waiting on Angels reply.
In response to our dilemma we received not a letter but the appearance of Drake and
Cinderella at our door about a week later. They had come to assist, they said, and Kila had
already told us that she would remain in France, that her work was there, even if we were able to
go back to our city. So Luke went in search of a way out of the country while I packed our
belongings and wrote a letter to a lawyer I did not know Luke had requesting that funds be sent
to us at our theater in New Orleans. Angel had written that if we had rebuilt again with wood
instead of bricks after the first fire this one would have been far worse and I found some comfort
in that, that something we had done helped decrease this tragic accident. But having two fires
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with a revolutionary war sandwiched in between had taken a toll on me, a toll I was not even
aware of until Luke and I were on a ship sailing across the Atlantic once more sitting in complete
silence for the first time in five years. There is always something, isnt there? Even if you focus
only on a few places in this world and become a patron to them instead of trying to fix the whole
mess, there is always war or disaster or madness and in the end the things we do to help the
people today makes no difference because tomorrow something worse, something even more
devastating, will come along and destroy it all.
I started to cry at the weight of the truth in my own words. What the hell was I doing trying
to make things better? Why did it take me so long to see that there is never peace whenever you
are interfering in a world where death is always around the corner and things never truly change?
Sweet girl, that is not true. Things can change and they do and though a mortal life is short there
is beauty to be found in making a difference in it, even if you are only making one short life
better for a little while. Look at France. Yes, there is bloodshed and chaos right now but the
revolutionaries have won. Right now the people are trying to find their way and in time they will.
The chaos will pass and the sun will rise upon a country full of people who are free and at peace.
No, it wont last eternally, this peace, but it will come and when madness strikes the country
again as it always does it will pass as it always does and there will be another time of peace. You
know that everything in nature, in this world, comes and goes in cycles. And the things you have
done to help these short mortal lives has made a difference. What we do when we arrive in our
city will make a difference as well just as it did before. Holding me against him with my head in
his lap, he stroked my hair as I cried. You have been too long in the eye of the storm. I think
when we have rebuilt what was destroyed this time we need to stay in New Orleans for a while,
revel in the happiness and the peace when it comes, so you may be reminded of the difference
our actions make and so you can remember again what it feels like to be surrounded by joy.
Looking up at him I asked bitterly, And how long can we stay, Lucania? It has been six
years already since we first came to them and it will take a year at least to put things right again.
Am I to have only three years of joy in this city I so adore? If that is the case, I would rather not.
That is like sampling a delicious dish when you are famished.
We are coming to save them for a second time. I doubt they will mind if we are there a bit
longer than we should be without showing signs of age. This is one time I think we can safely
bend the rules a bit.
I dried my eyes and I strengthened my resolve once more as I would have done even if he
had not suggested we stay awhile. No amount of despair or hopelessness could change the way I
lived my eternal life when it came to human matters. So many vampires seemed to dwell only on
their place in the world as killers without realizing that, murders aside, they also had the potential
to do great things and as we really had nothing better to do and we had a great many years to fill
up, it made no sense to me to shrink away from this potential for goodness that we all carried
inside of us. I suppose finding my true self in the Scottish woods, feeling the power of magic
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course through me, and aligning myself with a Goddess who confirmed what I believed on the
matter of a vampires potential had given me this strange direction in my immortal life and yes,
even when it seemed a great weight to bear, it has always sustained me, even in times of true
darkness. When one can find the potential for good in the taking of a human life as I recently had
with the suffering soldiers, one can find a potential for good in anything the world throws at you.
And as I was beginning to see, viewing life from that perspective can change everything for a
soul that was once lost.

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Part 5:
And Magic Controls It All.
Chapter 1
In time the city of New Orleans was rebuilt once more and the French Revolution, we were
told, had come to an end. A new man had come to power in France and in the early days the
people saw him as a beacon of light in the darkness though in time the people realized that his
goal was not to do great things for the country but to build an empire large enough to satisfy his
ego. That man, of course, was Napoleon. Luke met him once, briefly, in 1804 when Napoleon
purchased the land where my friends were buried with the intention of creating a new cemetery
for the city. Luke sold it to him on the condition that no one would ever be denied a proper burial
there regardless of what they had done in life or how that life had come to an end. Napoleon did
keep his word on this matter but despite that Luke told me he did not trust him, that anyone with
the sense of self-importance he read in Napoleon could cause nothing but destruction and chaos
as a leader. Time would prove Luke right but things were so good for us at that point that I must
confess, I worried very little about the emperor across the ocean.
Angelus stayed in the city only long enough to help us rebuild and though other vampires
would often come for a while to see the city they were hearing about, they never stayed long. So
for ten years, far longer than we would have dared to stay ordinarily after the time we spent there
during the first fire, we claimed New Orleans again as our own and we watched her grow and
change as she seemed to come of age before our eyes. Angel had done great things for the theater
while we were in France and it had become a place where the people of the city loved to come on
the weekends, a place where the people who owned plantations outside of town would bring their
wives and their children to show them a bit of culture in this wild playground. We lived below it
as we always had and we were proud of its reputation but we interfered little in its operation.
Angel had found a woman who directed the actors with a firm but loving hand and it was she
who had become the backbone of the place. Though I admit that I was jealous at first, I saw no
reason to take this away from her when she had obviously earned it so instead I found other ways
to occupy my nights.
New Orleans after the fire had other issues that it had to face, problems like diseases spread
by mosquitos and the people coming off the boats and into the city. It had always been this way
as far as I could remember but in the early days I paid little mind to the ebb and flow of illness
that often claimed a great many human lives. I could do nothing to stop it, there was no way to
prevent it, and in those times there had not been a single thing that I could do to help the people
so I had taken care to avoid the places where the diseases raged until the worst had passed
because I knew that to see those stricken down and to walk right past them would be to evoke
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that old helpless feeling inside of me. However, things had changed for me in France and as I
was about to learn, my mission from Morrigan had not been left behind on the bloody battlefield.
I awoke with the knowledge that someone was watching me, that someone was calling out
my name. The bedchamber that I shared with Luke was dark as night and empty save for me and
when I went up toward the main entrance of the theater I found everything as dark as my rooms
had been. Throughout the entire place, always full of movement and chatter, not one sound could
be heard. Following my instinct I went toward the theater itself to find that it, too, had been
abandoned save for one candle lit in the front center of the stage and one figure that looked
almost menacing from where I stood though I knew at once who she was. Walking forward I
chuckled despite myself. I assume I am dreaming. And this is a rather dramatic way to grab my
attention if you dont mind me saying so.
Morrigan continued to stand as I sat in the front row to hear what she had to say. Her face
was completely unreadable yet she seemed to be glowing with a light that had nothing to do with
the one tiny flame at her feet. This is nothing like the other times, I thought, and for the first
time I felt something close to fear. A great plague has hit these shores and some parts of the city
have gone mad with this realization. It is time for you to again take up the task that I gave you
not so long ago. Families will be destroyed, children will be left to weather the storms alone, and
you may do what you wish with all of that. I am concerned only with your role as my merciful
bringer of death. It will be as it was before. I will collect the souls that you set free and I will be
at your side as you do your work. This is not the same as the men who went to battle. They knew
that they might die. Death has hit this city quickly and it has taken its victims quite by surprise. I
see this as a delicate matter, especially as it pertains to the children you will encounter. So I ask
another favor of you. Wear your black cape with the gold trim and the black and gold dress that
matches it and if you are asked, tell the people that you are an angel sent from God to carry them
on. Lowering her voice, she added in a whisper, And tell them that God says she is very sorry
but there is beauty ahead for them when all of this is done.
You have seen countless deaths I am sure so why do you act so hurt about this plague?
People die. I need not remind you of that fact. Life is a series of cycles but I dont need to remind
you of that either, do I? There were moments when I saw sadness in you back in France and I did
not understand it but I never expected to see you sodistraught.
As you will be as well until you get used to taking the tiny child, the babe who can no
longer weep, into your arms for that last embrace. I told you once that we hate waste, did I not? I
know why illness comes of course. If it did not, the world would not be able to handle the
population on its surface. People would live too long and breed too much and eventually there
would be no way to control the growth. This would destroy the resources, the animals, the
people, the world. Yes, I know why disease spreads and humans die in its grip. But to me this is
the worst kind of death to witness, a death that serves no purpose for the person dying, a death
that is nothing short of wasteful. And so it makes me sad. But no matter how I feel about this or
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how badly you will want to leave this task to nature when you see the child coughing in that tell-
tale way, this is what must be done. In return for your services here I am giving you a promise.
Being who I am does have some advantages and one of them is that I may save a creature
already passed from human life from meeting doom in immortality. There is someone who will
come at the height of this devastation, someone who wore the mask of a friend the last time you
spoke but who has now become your enemy, and without interference this former acquaintance
will destroy Lucania and you will leave this place alone. If you do your job and you do it well I
will ensure that this plot does not come to pass and that when you leave these shores your
beloved will be safe by your side.
Her words erased all thoughts of my task from my mind. Who is this person that will
come? What is the plot? You cannot tell me that Lucania may die and say nothing more than
that! I cried out, heading toward the stairs so I could face her on the stage.
Remember the cape and the dress, remember that you are to be an angel, and I will be
waiting for you outside. Our job begins tonight. She commanded quickly before she became the
raven flying fast away.
I jumped from the stage and ran toward the exit hoping somehow to catch her when I
collided hard against marble. Closing my eyes and opening them once more I saw that I had not
hit a statue at all but rather Luke and he had a look of worry in his eyes as he held me at arms
length. All of the lights were on, the actors and their teacher were around us, and all eyes seemed
to be glued on me. I was so confused. What the hell happened? I questioned, attempting to
ignore the sudden powerful urge for blood and the image of a raven perched on the street corner.
You were apparently walking in your sleep. You walked into the auditorium, you sat down
with your eyes toward the stage though you gave no response when you were addressed, and
then you headed toward the stage and you started shouting in a language our friends could not
understand
Oh, I know what it was alright! It was the outlawed language of the Gaels! The teacher
declared.
Luke ignored her as he questioned me, mind to mind, about what had occurred and I showed
him everything from the moment I awoke, showing him as well that first night in France when
Morrigan had come to me. Wrapping an arm around me, he led me away from the group toward
our room and the two of us knew that nothing I experienced had been a dream when we found
the cape and gown draped over the settee. What does it mean, Luke? What did she mean about
you? Suppose this is one task I simply cannot stand. I have never taken the life of a child and I
never ever imagined I would so what if I cannot do it! Does that mean I sacrifice you to save my
sanity? For the first time in our entire life together I found myself looking straight at the man I
loved, this creature of great age and wisdom, and I realized that though his mind was perfectly
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intact, he was just as unsure about this as I was. So then I must. I do not have a choice this time,
not really. I declared, more to myself than to him.
As he helped me lace up the long black gown with its subtle gold trim along the hem and the
bodice, he said softly, She was right in France and she is right now. You are only giving them a
death more peaceful than the one that will occur without your interference. You are ensuring
they do not suffer. In this case, you may also help stop the spread of this disease and save the
lives of the people who can still be saved. I would be happy to go with you if youd like. You
dont have to do this alone.
He meant what he said and that somehow strengthened my resolve. If Luke did not believe
that I was doing the right thing he would not tell me to continue on such a path even if his life
was at risk. Putting the hood of my cloak over my head and slipping on a pair of black gloves, I
smiled at him. Im not alone, my love. There is a very determined Goddess who waits for me
outside. Kissing him deeply as if I might never see him again, I went out into the cold and rainy
night to face the duty at hand.
The raven stood on the corner of the street and when she saw me, she perched on my
shoulder. But as I walked on she began to guide me toward the poorest places in town, the flimsy
shacks that sat closer to the waters edge than any other home in New Orleans. Of course this
disease, whatever it was, had hit the most vulnerable members of our little world. Wasnt that
always the case in such times? I followed her into a place that was dark and cold, a place that had
the stench of illness clinging tightly to it, and as soon as I walked into this strangers house I
heard the sounds of coughing. This was not an ordinary cough. It was the sort that came when
the lungs had filled with fluid and death was not far off. I had some idea of what had struck the
people when I looked down at the small woman already giving up her will to live and I saw that
she was soaked with sweat even as she shivered. I could smell the vomit on the floor under my
feet. I knew if I touched her head it would be hot and if she could tell me of it, she would
describe the worst aches she had ever experienced. This was a disease that in my time back home
we had seen in sailors at times and always death soon followed. It was malaria. Looking around
the two rooms that made up the house, I found two small corpses and a man who was barely
breathing. Though I was sad for the loss of the children, I must admit I was happy that I did not
have to take a life so young right off.
Stroking the womans hair from her face I gave her my kindest smile when she opened her
tired eyes and looked up at me. I know who you are and I know why youve come. At least God
heard one of my prayers. She said in between coughing fits.
God heard all of your prayers, dear woman. I tried to assure her as I worked toward
glamouring her. It was a beautiful day that her mind returned to when I willed it to show her the
best day she could recall. She was at home in Spain and she was pregnant for the first time. Her
husband was telling her his grand plans to move to the colony, to make a fortune, and to return
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one day to their beloved homeland with his family name restored She was so weak, so small,
that I feared I would break her as I lowered my mouth to her neck. So I took her hand in mine
and I laced our fingers together as I bit into her wrist and drained each drop of blood that I could.
Her heart refused to give up though it was weak and that made me smile. I saw it as a sign that
she was strong. Hopefully her strength would not abandon her in this final moment. When the
last beat came I closed her eyes and quickly turned away.
Her poor husband had died on the floor while I was taking the life of his wife. He did not
have the peace I could have given in his final moments and I was surprised to find that this
brought me more sorrow than the taking of the innocent woman in her bed.
House after house that we entered I found the same scene. The adults were barely clinging to
life and if there were infants or children to be found they were already dead. It seemed as if
everyone was in the same stage of the disease, as if they had all been stricken at once, and I
could only assume that the small hearts and the tiny bodies of the children were not strong
enough to last as long with it as their parents had. Again and again I took the lives that were so
close to ending and I was beginning to think that this time I had nothing to worry about because
nature had unfortunately done to the children in its own cruel way what I could have done with
kindness. However, this luck of mine ran out at the last house that sat on this row. I could hear
tiny gasps, tiny coughs, from as far away as the makeshift street, and what broke my heart far
more was the sound of a child crying out again and again for its mother. I looked over and
expected to see the raven but I found Morrigan standing in her human form with total despair in
her eyes. There are two children inside and an infant in its bed. Their mother died last night and
their father came home this morning from the sea but when he found his wife dead and his
children ill he left without a word and he will not return. He has abandoned them to die alone so
he might save his own pathetic life. But his doomed path is his own and it isnt our concern. We
must do everything right in this case, we must both remember what we are capable of so we do
not forget our strength, and we must show these children in their last moments the love that
sickness and cowardice would have denied them had we not come along.
Is this the last? I whispered.
For this night. She replied simply, going ahead of me into the door that I was almost
terrified to enter.
When I found the strength to step inside I nearly turned around and walked out. I thought
Morrigan had made some terrible mistake because she had said the mother to the children was
dead yet on the floor sat a beautiful woman with long curly black hair and the warmest smile I
had ever seen. She wore a white dress too thin for the chilly night and she sang to two small
children, one a boy and the other a girl, in Spanish as their mama would have. However, when
she looked me in the eye and I could see that those eyes were shining in the dark almost like the
eyes of a cat, I knew that it was Morrigan and that this was a form I had heard in conjunction
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with her name though I had never seen her wear it before. In this moment she was nothing if not
the Mother. And she was nodding her head toward a makeshift crib at the foot of a bed where the
dead mother of the children still lay.
Many years have passed since that night yet I will never forget the weight of pure despair
that I felt when I picked up that small infant, too sick and weak to cry, and I saw all of the
symptoms of this disease on its body including the vomit that should have choked its airway by
the looks of things. I kissed this babys little head and because I knew I could not glamour it with
a memory as I had the adults, I tried to think of another way to put it under my spell. The thought
of causing this precious creature one moment of pain was more than I could bare and as I looked
to Morrigan for an answer it came to me instantly. My voice. I let my own mind drift back to the
earliest days of my memory, to a song my mother used to sing, and I hoped that the sound of my
voice as I sang really could work the magic that the Russians below Moscow had once claimed it
could. When it seemed as if the baby was lost in the song, in my voice, I closed my eyes because
I could not stand to see that face and as gently as I could I sank my fangs into that impossibly
small neck. This was hell. Never had an act cut me as deeply as this cut me and still I found
some consolation in the fact that the baby seemed to sleep through the end of its terribly short
life.
The siblings to the infant seemed in a trance already when I turned toward them but I
glamoured them anyway feeling so grateful that they could be glamoured and I would know that
they felt nothing of this death. Morrigan continued to embrace them and stroke them ever so
gently as I took their lives knowing that it was for the best but feeling as if no monster could ever
be forgiven for what I had done that night. As soon as the last heart stopped, Morrigan became
the raven once more and I was shocked when I stepped outside and saw a mass of souls
following behind her like a cloud. They were all going toward their peace, free of the pain of
disease and the fear of death. But how could I ever know peace again after what I had done on
that night?
When I returned to the theater Luke was waiting in our sitting room and all I could do was
curl up in his lap and weep as I had done on the night that we were at sea headed toward this
city. I could not speak of the things that had happened so I showed him my memories of that last
house, the house that was sure to haunt me the rest of my existence. I was so worried about him,
about this threat Morrigan spoke of, and so heartsick about the job I had to do in order to save
him that even his promise to turn the large building he had recently purchased into an orphanage
of the highest quality for the children I was bound to find alive and unharmed could not lift my
spirits. I felt as if I had suddenly reached the dark night of my soul.
I would like to say that things got easier, that I never again had to take the most innocent
form of life, but for the next six years it seemed as if all I did was kill the sick in all stages of life
and when one disease seemed to disappear from the world around us, another came up just as
quickly to replace it. In time I was able to save more lives than I had to take in each house made
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of wood in the poorest parts of New Orleans but even that was only a small consolation. Luke
did create an orphanage as he promised and he furnished it with the best things money could buy
for the children left alone by deaths unwavering grip. He sent for caretakers from all over
Europe and he made sure the women he hired for the task were kind and good. With each night
that passed he seemed to forget the reason I did not deny Morrigans request of me while I
ceased to have more than a moment when it wasnt on my mind. Sometimes I even followed him
in secret after my nights work was done just to make sure he was safe. Every night I found
myself watching the shoreline more and more to see a familiar face step off a boat, one who was
once a friend and would come now as my enemy.
One night I returned to the theater after attending to some unfortunate victims of Smallpox
and I found two unexpected faces in the crowd of people milling around the lobby. Arianne!
My dear sister, how I have missed you! I cannot wait to tell you what Cook and I have been
doing these last few years and I want to know all about the adventures youve had with Master!
Each night that our family has spent apart, you have been ever on my mind. Cherise was
holding me so tightly to her that if I was a breathing creature I probably would have choked. I
wanted to feel elation at this unexpected visit. I wanted to embrace this darling woman who was
once my dearest friend. But as I looked over her shoulder at Cook who stood by the theater
entrance without so much as a smile on his face, Morrigans words to me returned and with them
I felt only fear and anger. I tried to mask this when Cherise held me out so she could have a look
at me only to crush me against her again. Surely if the enemy was one of them (and who else?) it
could not be Cherise. So toward her I would attempt to show the love and kindness she deserved
but Cook was a different matter altogether.
In the nights that followed, my assumption about two creatures that were once dear to me
created a rift in every relationship I cherished. I had attempted to tell Luke what I thought but he
only laughed at me assuring me that if Cook had come with a hint of malice in his heart, Luke
would have read it right off. I tried to read Cooks thoughts and Cherises as well but I found
Cooks mind locked against me and I found no hint of any plan with Cherise. I even attempted to
force Morrigan to tell me if the couple was the ones I had to watch, threatening at one point to
quit what I was doing with those stricken by disease in New Orleans. She would not reveal her
secrets and I found that I could not quit my work. How could I when it was all I seemed to have
left? Cherise and Cook were sharing the space below the theater with us and try as I might I
could not show either of them the kindness that had always come so easy. So I avoided their
company altogether from dusk until dawn and in doing so I avoided Luke even though, with each
night that passed, I felt as if I needed him more and more.
Vampires continued to come and go from our shores but I had ceased to pay them any mind.
Why should I when I thought that the one I had to watch out for was under my very roof? As the
nights wore on I could tell that Cherise and Cook noticed my distance and they both seemed
wounded by it but whenever it was mentioned I always gave my mission as the reason why I
could not spend time with them. It wasnt a total fabrication. As that summer dragged on I saw
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three diseases rage through the city at once killing more than I could save. In fact, it seemed as if
no family had been completely spared from the devastation including the rich on their plantations
outside of town. As the disease spread so did stories of an angel in black who came with a raven
on her arm to save the children left orphaned by the death of their parents. I was always careful
to glamour the children into forgetting me so I am not sure how the stories spread but even
though my husband was the owner of the only orphanage no one ever connected them with me.
I continued doing what I had to do and despite her silence on the identity of the would-be
murderer, I had complete faith that when the time came Morrigan would intervene as she had
promised to save Lucanias life.
One night as I was taking three small children toward the orphanage as I did every night
with the children I found alive and well, I was approached by a vampire I recognized
immediately though I couldnt place him right off. What are you doing with the children? He
asked as soon as he came up to me.
I dont know how long youve been here, friend, but this city is ravaged with disease. These
children are now orphans and I am taking them to the local orphanage. So if you will excuse
me
When I tried to navigate around him, the young man stepped right into my path blocking me.
Was Lucanias memory restored? Is he here?
Aha, that was it! This was the boy who had started off as Ishtars pet under Prague only to
turn his sympathies toward me in the end. At last I smiled. In that entire hellish situation he was
the only person who had been kind to me and I am not apt to forget such a kindness. Walk with
me. I replied simply and he fell in to step beside of me as we moved forward. Yes, his memory
was restored shortly after we left and he is here. Weve been here for a few years. There was a
fire, you see, and we have a deep fondness for the city so we came to assist in rebuilding and
now we are simply enjoying an interval in our usual madness. I said all of this light-heartedly
and rather quiet as I was carrying a sleeping toddler in my arms that I did not wish to wake.
What does he remember about his time in our city? The boy questioned.
Oh, he remembers everything. If you wish to see him you can find him at the theater. If he
isnt there right now he will be at some point. That is where we live.
We had stopped outside of the stone building that always seemed sad to me no matter how
nicely we furnished it or how kind the caretakers were. In my softest tone I asked the older
children to sit and in the lap of the biggest I placed the sleeping babe. Careful to wipe out any
memory of how they arrived at this dismal place, I knocked on the heavy door and I fled before
anyone could open it. This was the routine that I had followed night after night. I hadnt said
goodbye to the boy but since he knew where to find us I did not feel any guilt for that. I still had
work to do in another part of town and I wanted to tend to it. I had not yet reached the part of the
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city I was seeking when the boy appeared from nowhere at my side. The city disbanded after
the Queen was killed. I tried to keep things together as long as I could but alas, I could not. I
spent two hundred years, the whole of my immortal life, down in that place and when I realized
all was lost it was a terrifying future I faced.
I looked over at him trying to gauge his odd behavior. He didnt seem angry when he spoke,
only contemplative. But I felt sorry for him. I couldnt imagine living all of my immortal life in
that way only to have it all ripped apart in the blink of an eye. I am very sorry for what you lost.
Believe me, if Luke and I had known the way that was going to end we would have never come.
I cannot say that I am sorry for the end that Ishtar came to. I would be lying if I did. But I am
heartily sorry that you and the others were thrown into such turmoil over the way things
happened.
The boy smiled at my words. You misunderstand me. It was not a bad thing, this
destruction of the city. Not at all. I have spent the years since then discovering the world! I never
knew how much I was missing in that terrible place, how much control the Queen had over me,
until I was free of it all and I was able to see the world through my own eyes for the first time. I
have found so much beauty in everything. I have come to understand why you were so appalled
at the way humans were treated by those around us in that place. I had forgotten somehow that I
was once human too. I mean, my mind knew that of course but I had forgotten that part of my
soul, my
Humanity? I offered when he seemed to be at a loss for the word.
Yes. He replied, a strange look passing over his features briefly. Anyway, when I came
here I caught a glimpse of you with the children so I thought that I would thank you for what you
did. Now, if you dont mind, I have some business to attend to.
As quickly as he came he was gone and I went on my way toward my own job at hand. I had
gotten about three houses into the neighborhood I was working on when I got the most horrible
vision. Luke was on fire! Outside of the tavern he owned, in the street, with the whole fucking
city around him he was going to die and not one soul would stop to aid this ancient creature who
would surely take with him any reason I had to continue on when he went. I am not sure how I
did it. Perhaps the fear propelled me on. But however I accomplished it, I found myself in the
exact spot that I had seen in my vision. I looked around furiously in an attempt to spot a familiar
face and just as I was about to give up and look elsewhere, I saw Luke and Cook emerging from
the tavern in the middle of a loud dispute amongst themselves. Silently I was calling Morrigan to
come as she had promised but when Cook turned to face Luke there on the street that I had seen
so clearly in my mind gesturing wildly as his voice grew louder I knew I could not wait for her.
I could hear Cherise screaming when I charged Cook and knocked him to the ground. He
could have torn me limb from limb. I have no doubt about that. Instead he looked at me with a
mixture of confusion and hurt in his eyes. This was what I had been avoiding all the nights that I
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had spent away from them all, this recognition of the dear sweet man who had once burned every
dish he made in an attempt to make me happy in my prison. Arianne, what are you doing? Have
you forgotten me completely? He questioned softly, making no attempt to get me off of him
even though I barely had him pinned. He must have caught the images from my mind or he
suddenly got a flash of his own because all at once he screamed, Of course its not me! even as
he jumped up and rushed toward Luke.
I was so stunned that for a short while I just stood there as Cook reached Lukes side. Luke
was smiling at the boy from Prague, shaking his hand, or rather, he attempted to shake his hand.
That was when the boy backed up and I could see something in his eyes that I hadnt recognized
earlier. Pure hatred marred his features but instead of moving I continued to stand where I was
waiting for the boys next move. When I saw the glow forming between his hands, the same
death that had been delivered to his artificial queen in the past, I felt such energy slam my senses.
I did not think about what I was doing. As if I were a puppet on a string I could only act on my
impulse as I raised both of my hands toward the boy and I watched as he simply combusted. No
fire was thrown his way, nothing came from me that could explain it, yet there he was on fire in
the street even as Luke was rushing me away from it all.
How did you do that, Arianne? Who taught you that? He demanded as the four of us
entered our apartment.
What the hell are you talking about? I did exactly what Kila taught me to do. I made the
fire, I threw the fire, and he caught on fire. It was as simple as that! Like a human being I had
already convinced myself that, though I knew that I had done no such thing, this had been the
way of it.
Like hell! Luke seethed. I saw you! You did all of that with only your mind! There was
no physical manifestation of it at all! You set him on fire with only your mind!
Cook and Cherise had sat silent as church mice on the settee with Luke standing on one
side and me standing on the other. Now the two of us were glaring with the width of the short
sofa separating us. What I did or how I did it seems to pale in comparison with the reality that I
saved your fucking life! He was going to kill you! Or did that escape your attention as you were
busy critiquing the way I saved you? It was just as Morrigan said, a friend the last time we spoke
who came now as my enemy, yet where the fuck was she! Where was she? I have done nothing
but kill for almost a decade to appease her! Women, children, infants in their cribsI eased their
suffering and I took their pain even though it tarnished my soul to do it and not only does she let
me think that it is Cook who has come for you, she decides to go out and have some tea when the
big event takes place! Goddamn it!
I wasnt ready yet to face the fear that had overwhelmed me on the street corner. I wasnt
ready to face the what-ifs of that night or to look my dear old friend in the eye knowing that he
had been innocent all along and that I had been cold to him believing he had come to kill his
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beloved brother in immortality. So instead of facing any of it, I ran. I went to the cemetery where
so many of my victims were buried and I shouted in my mind at the Goddess who had, in my
opinion, deceived me. Lucania said it himself, Arianne. You did not make fire in your hands.
You turned him into a living flame with your mind. Where do you think you got the strength for
that? I recognized the voice but the figure of the old woman bent over by age took me quite by
surprise. But it also made sense. Here in the place of the dead what human figure would she take
if not the Crone?
You knew it would be this night, you knew it would be that man from Prague, yet you told
me nothing! Nothing! What has it been since I last saw you? Two hours? Did it not seem
important to tell me what would happen, to tell me that I was wrong about Cook? That mistake
alone could have gotten Luke killed! Then when I am standing there before it all and I am calling
out to you, you leave me defenseless! I was tossing accusations at her without a thought for her
potential wrath.
With a flick of her hand she knocked me down on a newly erected marker so that she and I
would be eye to eye despite her misshapen form. I knew it would be this night, yes. And I knew
it would be that man. I also made sure you found the strength inside yourself to get there in time
and to do what needed to be done. I am not here to do the work for you, daughter. You are
worshipping the wrong god if that is what you want. No, my job is that of a mother. My job to
you and all the rest is to show you the way and help you find your strength and your courage to
do what you must. And I did. It was inside of you all the while. I would not have made my
promise to you if I was unsure that I could help you. You once told Kila that you wanted the
power to save yourself and Luke if it came to it. You have it. Be grateful. Now go to him. You
came close to losing him forever tonight and then you simply walked away. You have your
family nearly complete and together at last. Enjoy that while you can. I will be waiting at dusk
tomorrow.
She was the raven once more flying away after she paused for a moment at a new burial
place as if she were paying her respects to someone. I was left alone in the cemetery as a soft
summer rain began to fall and in that moment I was forced to deal with everything my anger had
been masking; with the real reasons I fled from the theater. I began to walk hoping like hell that
the rain was washing away my blood tears as they fell until I saw a figure standing in the middle
of the street. The hour seemed late suddenly and as I approached the tall man and realized it was
Luke I felt as if the whole world had suddenly grown silent around us and we were all that was
left of the living. He kissed me so deeply, so passionately, that I sighed against his lips when he
pulled away before I pulled him toward me for another. "I almost lost you, my love. In my mind
I saw what he meant to do, I saw you engulfed in his flames. To see you like that and to know
how close we came
But it is as you said, little beauty. You saved me. Im here. Feel my skin against your
fingertips, my lips pressed to yours, and know that I am here. Dont mourn me. Im not gone.
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He was telling me to stop the tears from falling, to get the image of what could have been
out of my mind, but I couldnt. Picking me up, he carried me back toward the cemetery into one
of the only mausoleums that existed there at the time and once inside he laid me down upon a
bench put there for the family visits. He was greedy in his touch exploring my body as if it were
the first time with no regard for the place of the dead that we found ourselves in. Perhaps this
was his way of assuring me that he had indeed survived and his way of telling death just what he
thought of this close call. Over the bench he bent me driving into me hard and without mercy. If
his intent had been to prove that he was still flesh and blood it worked. I myself could not
remember the last time I felt so alive. But as soon as we were through the sadness returned. So
that is that? We make love and pretend as if tonight never happened like all of the other times
that we have come that close to losing each other in the past? I asked as we walked into the
street once more.
You act as though it is I who ask you to forget these things. I never forget them. I bury
them, certainly, but there are times when I see that memory of you lying all but dead with the last
of our roses clutched in your hand or even that old memory of you in your dreaming world
produced by illness while we all sat around and waited for the moment when your heart would
grow too weak and I would have to fully make you mine. I have never forgotten any of the
memories of your deaths in lives passed and I have never forgotten a single near-death
experience. So if that is what you do and it is what you wish to do again, do it. I made love to
you because I needed you. I needed to feel you to prove to myself that I am still here. It had
nothing to do with making you forget.
That was twice I had been put in my place, so to speak, in less an hour and I knew that
when I returned to Cook and Cherise, the apologies I had to give them would be no less
humbling. But Luke was alive. He was alive and our little family, once the center of my world,
was mostly together again. I still had a chance to make the most of the unexpected visit I had so
taken for granted. I still had a chance to find peace. Looking up at the stars I whispered a word of
thanks to Morrigan for her part in things and I took Lukes hand in mine as I smiled.
I made things right with my beloved Cook and I was able to again embrace him and
Cherise as family. I learned what Luke had gained from the mind of his attacker in the brief
moments between the attempted hand shake and the boys spontaneous combustion, that the boy
was incredibly bitter about the destruction of the only home he could recall and of the death of
the foolish woman he all but worshipped, his maker. He blamed Luke completely for all of it
believing that it had been his intention all along to flaunt me before Ishtar, assuming he was
attempting to make the woman jealous. He had told me the truth when he said that he had
traveled the world. What he failed to tell me in our discussion was that he had traveled the world
looking for Lucania to get revenge for all the things he blamed Luke for. And I had been so
preoccupied with the city and the fears that I didnt catch a glimpse of all that hatred even as he
asked me about my lover.
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I also heard stories concerning the missing link in our little family. According to Cook,
Mother went mad after that last evening in Athens. He and Cherise stayed by her side as long as
they could stand it but when her madness only increased in correlation with her deepening
friendship with Aurelio, Cook could stand no more of it. And it was over Mother that he and
Luke had been arguing when I attacked him on the street. Luke wanted to reach out to her, to try
to make amends, and Cook was dead against it naming her association with Aurelio as the
reason. Cook believed that Aurelio wanted Lucania dead as punishment for turning me and
breaking that ancient promise that Angelus had once given him, that no matter what I would
never, in any lifetime, face the fate of my brothers in that life. Until that moment I had no idea
Cook knew of the promise. Knowing Cook was actually trying to protect Luke from his own
desires did nothing to ease the guilt I felt over the entire thing. However, Cook, in his patient
way, wanted to forget that the entire incident ever happened telling me simply that he understood
and that I should feel no guilt for protecting a man we all loved so much.
Cherise followed me some nights as I went into the homes of the terminally ill but she
couldnt handle any case where I had to take the life of a child. I couldnt fault her for this. I still
couldnt quite handle it myself. She loved the short time we spent taking the children to the
orphanage, though, and on nights when she wasnt at my side she could be found stalking the
building where the children lived, sometimes dressing as a caretaker to read to them and play a
while before bed. I caught her at this a few times but I never told her I saw her through the
windows. It made me smile, the easy way that she got on with all of those tiny people and the
affection that she showed them. It also left me feeling sad for the chances she lost to immortality
or, rather, to the human life that had so destroyed her.
On those nights when I had no work to do Cherise and I would go exploring New Orleans. I
knew the place like the back of my hand and I showed her everything including the plantations
outside of town. She would tell me stories about the African slaves that were once on English
shores, about her own fascination with these people at a time in her life when she never thought
she would leave the country of her birth and see anything beyond what it had to offer. In addition
to the city we also discussed the things that Luke and I had done since we were all together. I
told her about Kila and the magic she taught me, about the Goddess who had come one Samhain
night to claim me as her own, and I was shocked at her reaction to it all. She wanted no part of it.
In fact, she was afraid of it all, of the repercussions that I might be bringing upon myself by
worshipping false idols and practicing the dark and unnatural work ofwellshe didnt
come right out and say the old demons name but I caught her meaning. Until we had this
discussion I never dreamed she continued to hold so tightly to the Christian messages of her
mortal life. Considering our place in the world I had half a mind to tell her that if there was a hell
it was not for the magic that I would face it eternally should I perish and that I would not be the
only vampire making a home there. But I knew better than that. It was certainly not my place to
preach or to attempt to change her mind on the subject.
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It seemed from her stories that Luke and I were not the only ones out having our fair share
of adventures. She and Cook had gone to Egypt so he could show her the place that he was told
long ago he had come from, they had been to Asia where she told me she felt such mystery and
ancient energy that she couldnt get away from the continent fast enough though, she added,
Cook seemed as if he could have stayed in India forever. She felt the same way when they
visited remote places in Romania and the surrounding areas. The pair had also been all over the
Americas. It seemed that while Luke and I had been busy getting ourselves into one mess after
another, our beloved family had been traveling to the most remote corners of the world. I had to
admit that after this latest near-disaster and the task that I was still tending to, I would not have
minded trading places with them at all.
Her stories so intrigued me that I found myself deeply in love with the idea of simply
leaving the world that I knew behind in order to see those places that, like Cherise, I once
thought I would never have a chance to set foot in. As Luke and I hunted together on a rare night
to ourselves, I brought up this idea half-heartedly and I was surprised by my lovers reaction. He
thought that we should stay a little while longer telling me that Cook had already made it clear in
so many words that the four of us would not leave the city together. Yes, he was enjoying his
time with us but after the many years he spent waiting for Cherise to notice his love he rather
preferred having her to himself. He also enjoyed the life they had apart from what we had all
been, the unit we were for such a short while. I couldnt blame him. It was our way as vampires
to have our periods of family time but eventually we took our most intimate companion or we set
out alone to continue our constant roaming. However, Luke said that when the time came for us
to leave he wanted nothing more than to show me the world. In fact, he said it was a chance he
had been waiting on for centuries. With the thoughts of this carefree adventure embedded upon
my mind the nights with our friends seemed even more beautiful and the burden on my soul from
the years masquerading as an angel of merciful death seemed to lighten just a little.
In 1803 that little emperor back in France sold our beloved colony to America after a short
time of it again being in the arms of its mother country. A year later the uprising in Haiti brought
to the shores of New Orleans a new population of Free People of Color who had a culture and a
magic of their own that would have kept me intrigued for years if I had had the time to enjoy it.
But the four of us, as much as we had enjoyed our few years together as a family, were all
growing restless. Finally the night came when Lucania and Cook announced plans for all of us to
go our separate ways. We all declared that this time would not be like the last. Never again
would we allow so many decades to pass without any contact between us. Cherise wept in my
arms when the night came for them to leave. They were heading to the old chateau in France
after Luke told them that they were free to come and go from the place whenever they chose. As
for Luke and me, we were about to embark on the longest journey of my life thus far all the way
around the world to Asia where we would travel on foot to all of the most exotic places that I
once read about. I would miss New Orleans. I knew that. I also knew that when I returned I
would probably find the place greatly changed by the events of the prior year. But as much as I
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wanted to, we could not stay there forever. With the adventure I imagined dancing in my mind, it
would have been difficult to object this time to leaving my beloved place behind.

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Chapter 2
How can I describe those years that Luke and I spent as vagabonds in the most remote
corners of the east? As soon as we arrived in the Orient I knew what Cherise meant about the
ancient energy of these places. The wisdom and the knowledge that events like the Inquisition
had destroyed back home was still alive and well here, the truths concerning energy and magic in
one form or another had not been destroyed, and the philosophies of some of the cultures would
have kept Kila there for centuries. In fact, I thought of her often when we traveled and I made a
mental note to ask her if she had ever come so far from home and, if she had, what she thought
about the beliefs she found in these places. Many of the people we encountered were quite
friendly and it seemed like the majority of those who were not as warm did not mistrust us
because they knew right away that we were inhuman (a fear I had carried with me as soon as we
encountered the first tribal-like community) but because we were European. Because I had not
kept track of Napoleons conquests, I thought things would be different in Egypt, that this
distrust would not exist. In my time Europeans knew little or nothing about the place as there
wasnt any constant contact the way that there had been with the trading places in the Orient.
However, as I would soon find out, Napoleons armies had found this ancient place of mystery
and as a result the place was going to be changed forever.
How did you ever learn of Egypt? Luke asked as we traveled toward this holy grail of
places for me.
A trader on a ship sold my father a book from the Orient about Egypt during one of the
only trips I can recall papa making to Paris for fun. He bought it for my birthday even though the
entire thing was written in Arabic and I couldnt read a word of it. However, it had paintings
inside of it depicting the pyramids and the way that it looked thousands of years ago. The
paintings had been done by hand as had the rest of the book I suppose and I used to sit by the
light of a candle for hours when I should have been sleeping studying those pictures dreaming of
the day when I might stand before one of those strange structures with the bright blue sky above
and the hot desert sun I sighed. It was rare that I felt any sort of longing for what was lost to
me through immortality but I did feel a pang of sadness when I realized the little girl that I had
been would never really see the Egypt of her dreams. Anyway, that was the one place I read
about that papa had no knowledge of so that added to its mystique. I only wish I had that book
now that I could figure out the strange marks on the page to read about it before we reached it.
Would you like to know about the Egypt of today or the Egypt of my time? Luke asked
simply.
Of course! How foolish could I be to forget that he had probably seen the place for the first
time when pharaohs still ruled and the most famous pyramids were barely one thousand years
old? Let us start with what we will find when we arrive and work our way backwards in time. I
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replied with a grin, looping my arm into his and feeling an unexpected rush of love for him go
through me. It wasnt often that I really stopped to consider all that he had seen in his lifetime
and when I did it always filled me with a sense of awe but never before had I seen him in a place
like the Egypt in my mind where he would be completely surrounded by structures and remnants
of a place that was much older than he was. It seemed unreal to me that he was mine when I
thought of him in this way.
Well, you remember the little dictator I told you about, the one that bought the cemetery
from me a few months ago? I nodded. It seems that he sent an army to Egypt a few years ago. I
assume his intention had something to do with British trade in India but regardless of why he
came, his arrival there has caused a problem for Egypt that may forever change it. Europeans are
starting to come in. It has been slow, this discovery the people of your land are making, but they
are coming and they have been since the first men in the army returned telling stories about the
structures they saw while they were fighting. No one in Europe has any damned idea what they
are, little fools, just as they know nothing else about the power and the history that the country
contains but I fear what they will do if this slow invasion of European feet does not cease. I fear
for the beauty of that untouched tribute to life the way I once knew it. Egypt, like Israel and other
countries here and there in this area, have always been special to me because, unlike Europe,
they have not changed so much since the first time I saw them three thousand years ago. But they
will unless something throws this off course. Soon the British will come, the same people who
cannot stand to set foot on a piece of land without invading it, and they will destroy all traces of
the past from the country like their Roman ancestors once loved to do. They will tear down the
pyramids when they cannot figure out their secrets and they will destroy all traces of the Gods
Cook once held dear even when he couldnt remember the name of the woman who gave birth to
him. They will ruin everything.
Never had I heard him talk this way about a place including his own homeland. He had told
me once that when the old ways fell in Greece he was far away and he did not interfere but I
couldnt help but wonder if he regretted his inaction now. Or perhaps it was simply that when the
old ways fell then he had no idea yet that they would fall all over the world leaving him only
these few places like Egypt as tribute to a time he did not want to lose touch with forever.
Because it refused to change physically while so many pieces of the ancient world fell around it
to the north, it had become, it seemed, even more important to Luke than the place of his birth
had been. What else should I know? I asked, wrapping my arm around his waist as I attempted
to take his mind away from the troubling scenarios he seemed to be envisioning.
You seem to want to know something in particular. What is it, little beauty? He
questioned softly.
I have heard that the country is under the rule of the Muslim religion now and that these
men are quite harsh on women. This is their home, not mine. I have no right to try to change
their reasoning and I would like to make no waves in the pond while I am here but I dont know
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how I will manage to suddenly become submissive to you in the presence of others if that is what
is demanded of me in Egypt. That is common still in Europe as we both know all too well. But it
has never been our way and I have never been to a country where I may have to kill over such a
thing. In Europe if you dont follow the rules they simply shun you and since I have felt like an
outcast my entire life and being a vampire only sets me further apart, I have never had to ponder
my ways so much. I tried to laugh at my own words but the truth is I was worried about all of
this. Kila and I had discussed the ancient ways of the Egyptian people, the days when Goddesses
were given as much respect, if not a bit more, than their male counterparts and yes, of course I
wished that it was that way as I walked toward the country. But how could I fault the people here
for throwing away their Goddesses and any semblance of equality with their women when my
own people had long ago done the same thing?
If you wish to dress as the Muslim women dress with the veil shielding all but their eyes, I
will make sure that we stop at a village along the way and I will acquire such clothes for you.
But you mustnt do this unless you want to. He assured me with conviction in his voice that left
no doubt that, should anyone become a threat to me for any reason, he would handle it at once.
Sometimes it seemed that I was not the only one who failed to see the entire scope of the creature
I spent my life with.
I observed the Hindu customs in India and the Buddhist customs in Tibet, remember? I see
no reason why I shouldnt give the same respect to the customs of the Egyptians. Part of the fun
of this adventure was to experience the world in a way that is not my own. So yes, I would like
to dress as a woman in the country would dress. I replied firmly. I meant my words to him.
Since we had been on this journey I had seen the world through so many different eyes and in
doing so I had acquired an even stronger faith in my ability to exist forever. One did not have to
always be who one was in immortality if living became too tedious. All over the world there
existed people with customs that were so interesting it made one remember the beauty in
immortality, the learning process that would never cease.
We walked for a while and I caught him looking up at the stars far more than usual. The
night air was cool on my skin and my mind was filled with the history of the desert world around
me. So many feet had followed the path that we were on for so many years and to consider, truly
consider, the idea that four thousand years earlier someone far different from me might have
been looking up at stars that looked just like the ones above us as they walked right where we
walked was incredible. I still remember when most of the cities on the Nile were lush and
green. I can remember when the Nile was the source of civilization allowing for everything,
including written language, to thrive. I remember the lively festivals held in honor of the
Goddess Hathor and the prayers to Ra in the mornings. I can still clearly recall a time when our
beloved Angelus nearly fell under the spell of a certain female pharaoh, a mistake that almost
cost us all our lives. Had it not been for Mother Anyway, those are the images that stay with
me unless I come back to this place. They are what I expect to find each time I arrive and of
course I am disappointed every time because that place, the one we all knew and adored because
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of its spirit and its ingenuity, it is as dead as those who ruled it then. I dont come here often. In
fact, it has been nearly a millennium since I was here if memory serves me. But I am happy that
I am at last bringing you. This is the fulfillment of a promise that I made to you three thousand
years ago and I will do everything in my power to make sure it is wonderful for you.
His statement caught me off guard but before I could ask, my mind suddenly brought back to
me the fragment of a memory I had carried with me subconsciously through many lifetimes. My
father in that first lifetime with Luke had been a slave from Egypt, the blood uncle to Cook.
When I discovered this Lucania had promised that as soon as we were married he would take us
both, Cook and me, to this place and we would see where our people had come from. Like so
many plans, it never came to pass. Or rather, it came to pass far later than expected. What
changed for it? How did the whole country go from being so lush and alive to being a desert?
At this Luke laughed. The whole country isnt a desert, my love. There are many places in
Lower Egypt, especially along the Red Sea, that are quite akin to a tropical paradise. I will take
you there as well. I always go when I come to Egypt. I must. It is as I stand on the shores of
places like Dahab that I can feel again the way that I once felt in Cairo during the fertile months.
If you are asking why I think so much of what was once lush is now sand I think the answer is
quite simple. Gods do not like it when the people they have guided and protected into prosperity
turn their backs on them. But just as the Christians in Europe could not kill the Gods of the
Pagans there so it is with the Muslims here. You will see as soon as we arrive in Egypt. They are
still there, all of the Gods, waiting by the banks of the Nile or in the stars or in chariots driven
each morning across the sky for the day when their people call out to them once more.
Something about his words and the complete stillness of the desert night gave me an eerie
feeling. I had not seen or heard from my own beloved Goddess since we left New Orleans and I
hadnt stopped to ponder this until he mentioned the Gods of this ancient world. I considered
then the possibility that Gods may exist anywhere and everywhere but that each pantheon had its
own territory, so to speak, and that the Gods I might encounter in this place would be unlike
anything I had encountered in Europe or in the world of the happy Buddha or even with the
Hindu God Shiva whom I thought I had glimpsed once just before a terrible fire in India.
Everywhere else someone had continued to worship the pantheon of the area. In the hills of
Scotland, in the caves of Greece, anywhere it could be hidden in Northern Europe, and in
combination with Catholicism all over the western world the old ways were still worshipped and
the old names were called out at some time. But who had remembered to worship the deities of
this secret place? Perhaps the Gods of ancient Egypt had been silent far too long.
The two of us had come in through the West Bank and into Israel where Luke did acquire
clothes for me that were more appropriate for my surroundings. On that night as we walked the
ancient city of Jerusalem he told me about his recollections of the Crusades and the way that the
Europeans had returned to their homelands spreading malicious lies and half-truths about the
people they encountered in the east. We talked about the hypocrisy that existed in relation to the
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way that Muslim men were vilified for their religious beliefs even as Christian men used their
Bibles to keep women as subservient as possible. As we walked the streets where Christ was said
to have walked once with the city looking much the same as it would have in his time, we
discussed the fact that in my lifetime there seemed to be a turn toward science and away from
religion. This was good, we conceded. But when Luke heard from the young people on the
streets of Paris while I was an actress there that they had turned from religion because it was
destroying mankind he grew furious. Why? I asked, grateful for my perfect vision in the
darkness as I looked at the ancient buildings all around me.
Why? I am surprised at you. I thought you of all people would see what I see. It isnt
religion destroying mankind, it is mankind destroying religion. I have watched it for so many
centuries. A belief system will come that is meant to bring humans together as brothers and
sisters of the same damned world and what do these men do with it? They use it to start wars, to
kill the innocent, to destroy the power each person is born with, to take women down to a place
that allows a man to feel powerful. They use it to tip the scales of balance and destroy every
good thing that the Gods once stood for. Yes, we had Gods of war and destruction because one
must have balance. But we fought over land, over resources; we did not slaughter one another
over Gods. Why would we? We saw the proof of our beliefs, the manifestations of our magic and
the appearances now and then of a God come down from Olympus. We had nothing to prove and
no other motivation for our religion save for the love of the deities who were always with us.
Mankind has ripped that to shreds. Not everyone. But so many. The Jewish faith, the Jewish
people, they give me hope. If there must be a patriarchal religion that rules the world it should be
as that one is. They have never, to my recollection, attempted to use their God for destruction
and yet they are the people that their brothers of the same holy book, more or less, wish the most
to destroy. Christians will worship a man who came from these very streets back when his
people were allowed to walk their own damned streets and then they will spread in their
communities messages of hate about the Jewish people as if their own Messiah wasnt one at
all. I do not remember humans being so arrogant nor so ignorant in my time where religion was
concerned.
This was the second time that he had left me stunned since we started this trek toward the
world of old. I couldnt help but grin at him, at the passion that was so unexpected on this
subject. I have heard you talk almost like this about magic but I have never heard you talk this
way about faith before. I didnt realize you felt so strongly on this matter.
Yes, well, I suppose that was another glimpse into the man that I was once. Lets walk. We
still have a long time to go before we reach the pyramids of your childhood imaginings. He
replied simply, almost embarrassed, as he increased the speed of his step.
The closer we got to Egypt the more I felt far removed from who I had been when we started
our journey. When at last we reached the country this feeling of otherworldliness that had been
with me for a while only increased. Yes, there was intense magic in the very soil and in the sand
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under my feet. Yes, the Gods here remained waiting for their time to rise. People in every village
or town we came across seemed either instantly suspicious or downright amazed by these two
European creatures, one a woman so far from home, but none of it mattered. I continued to wear
the clothes, the veil over my face. Unlike the human women who wore them I had every reason
to want invisibility as I hunted when and where I could. Behind that veil I must admit I felt as if I
were a completely different woman, as if I were the camouflaged hunter in the night that my prey
never noticed until it was too late. I loved that feeling. This was the ruthless killing I had missed
so much in New Orleans. Luke tended to gravitate toward the killing of other Europeans he
found here and there. I think he may have even killed a few innocents along the way. He never
had to speak on the matter again because I knew already that if taking innocent lives was what he
felt he had to do to protect the history of this place, he would do it without a hint of remorse.
As we approached Cairo Luke said nothing of the city. I could see a huge structure in the
distance but aside from that it looked as every other city had looked since we entered the
country. However, as he paused for a moment and I waited at his side wondering what the hell he
was doing I smelled the most bizarre smell. It reminded me of the incense in the churches back
home, a musky sort of scent, and it was so strong that I might as well have had the censor
smoking right in front of me. What is that smell? Are there already so many Frenchmen here
that they have the city smelling like a midnight Mass? I questioned. My mind was doing the
strangest thingalmost as if it were floating. And for the first time in my immortal life I felt as if
whatever I encountered in this place was completely beyond my control, something to accept
without attempting to alter.
What are you talking about? I dont smell anything. Luke replied as he began to walk.
Are you sure it isnt the Nile? Perhaps they havent taken care of it as well as their ancestors
did.
Stop making jokes! I am serious. You must smell it. Its perfume orincense. It must be
incense.
No, I am afraid I do not. We have reached your destination though. Welcome to Cairo, my
love. He said with a sweeping gesture of his arm.
I was going to tell him that he was the worlds worst tour guide and pressure him some more
about the scent in the air when all at once it disappeared and I saw a flash of a woman dancing
away in a light blue dress from a much different time. I was about to point her out, remark on
how odd it was that a woman dressed so strange would be dancing in the middle of the night in a
part of the city that was clearly asleep when I looked over and realized the Lucania was looking
right where she had been and he had noticed nothing at all. When he took me suddenly in his
arms and we rode the wind for the first time since we came to the east I listened as he told me
about the pyramids we were going toward and I nodded when he told me that he had known for a
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long time how to get inside, that I was to follow him when we arrived. But my mind was on the
beautiful woman in the desert who wasnt really there at all.
My mind was still on her even as I took in the absolute wonder of the structures on the Giza
Strip. I had never felt so small and yet standing there at the base of the Great Pyramid, the large
structure I had seen from a distance, I had also never felt so connected to everything and
everyone around me. Just to touch it, ever so gently as if it would burn me, was to evoke
memories that were not mine but memories that were so ancient, so intense, that they had
somehow seeped into the consciousness of every being on earth. All one had to do in order to
access them was to come and see this wonder. It took quite a bit of persuasion on Lukes part to
get me to move on, to get me inside an underground burial chamber that he did indeed lead me
into just as he said he could. At my side he pointed out the hieroglyphs on the walls, the tomb
itself in a chamber at the center of the maze-like interior, and after we had explored the many
compartments to it, he stood at my side until dawn teaching me how to read this strange writing
as he had once done with the transcribing of another ancient language under the city in Prague.
We were completely safe from the sun in this place and I felt as if I were in my idea of heaven
with all of these unbelievable wonders around me. Lying on Lukes cold, hard chest I smiled and
just as I was taken into the spell of sleep I could have sworn that I smelled again that incense
smell and my mind went back to the woman in her blue dress dancing.
For weeks Luke and I went into the city itself only to hunt and as soon as we finished we
returned to this amazing land of the dead. He took me into the structures, showing me the way
that sunlight would stream through at certain times and explaining that this was why we slept in
the tomb under the ground. But my mind was far from the practical necessities of being a
vampire. I was too lost in the stories depicted on the walls, the amazing little treasures that were
buried with the kings of the land, the sarcophagi themselves with their ornate decorations. We
were careful to disturb nothing and observe everything. Sometimes we would just sit on top of
the now famous Sphinx and look out at the night and it was in these moments that I would catch
that exotic scent and out of the corner of my eye I would see the woman dancing. I had come to
believe that she was a ghost, perhaps a female pharaoh, maybe Cleopatra herself though she
seemed more likely to haunt Alexandria. The vision of her did not alarm me in any way. If
anything, I found that whenever I spotted her in her dance at a distance I felt love and peace
inside of me and on more than one occasion I found that I could not keep my hands off of Luke
after being in her presence, so to speak. But it wasnt until the night that she all but kidnapped
me that I put the connection together.
Luke was still asleep. Someone had been standing over me yet when I sat up I found that he
looked as peaceful as he had just before I had drifted off to sleep myself. Thinking someone from
the city had found us out, I jumped up at once and went in search of this intruder. Fortunately I
didnt have to go far. I simply followed the smell of incense to the entrance of the tomb and at
last I saw the woman in her ancient blue dress up close smiling at me in a way that seemed
almost divine. Her eyes were lined in kohl as I had heard the ancient Egyptians had done it and
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her lips were painted red. She was, in fact, a picture of perfect beauty. The sun has just gone
down and we have a long way to travel. Come. Do not worry for your consort. He will know
where to find you when he wakes. She said in the strange ancient language of her people. I did
look back once toward the place where Luke still lay but she gave me no time to doubt her.
Taking my hand she took me as Luke had often taken me into the air. I knew she wasnt a
vampire because her skin was too warm, too dark, nothing at all like ours. So what was she?
We did not speak until we landed and I knew somehow that we were hundreds of miles
from where we began. Standing before us was a massive structure but it looked quite different
from the ones I had spent weeks studying in Cairo. This looked more like a temple than a tomb.
Who are you? I asked softly, respectfully, because my mind was saying that she was someone
who deserved respect.
I am Hathor and this, She made a grand sweeping gesture with her hand, is my most
beloved temple. Have you heard my name, you who calls out to the Gods of old? Do you know
who I am?
I was torn between studying her and walking around the place where she had taken me. I
moved a little closer to her temple as I replied, I have heard your name, yes. I heard that you are
a mother Goddess, that you look after fertility, music, dance, and death. You had another
nameahLady of Myrrh! How foolish of me! That was your scent I caught over and over
again on the wind, wasnt it? But why have you come to me?
As if she were still moving on air she glided toward me and she removed the veil that I had
put on as soon as I woke up. You have no reason to wear that. You are bound by the laws and
the rules of no man, Arianne. You are a daughter of the Gods and in your immortality you have
been given freedom that my daughters here have never known in their lifetimes. Do not sacrifice
that for any local custom. I have been following you since you entered my land. You are the first
woman to come here with the mark of a goddess on her soul in so long. Morrigan and I, we have
much in common. We each preside over birth and death. We each guide on the souls of those
who are dead, she to her realm and me to Osiris. But I have a connection with vampires that
Morrigan lacks. Have you ever heard the stories of my other side, my darker side, Sekhmet? I
shook my head no. She laughed cheerfully as she led me inside the temple. When I become
infuriated Sekhmet takes over and she is not like me. I love laughter and joy, dancing and music,
but she is as blood thirsty as any vampire. There is a famous story about her ravaging the land
until she was tricked into drinking beer that she believed was blood and she became drunk from
it and I returned. It was Sekhmet who inspired the Gods in Greece to punish Lucius in the way
that they punished him for, in some ways, she is vampiric in nature but because she is part of me
she is a vampire with a soul. Like me, you, all of you who are vampires, live with that duality.
I was stunned to hear this story! How could Kila have known and not told me? Perhaps she
did not know at all. She was quite sketchy about the Gods of Egypt as if she knew very little
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compared with what she knew of the Gods all over Europe. But Luke would have known it. He
must have. I followed her as she walked through this ancient temple dedicated to her touching
the walls and smiling now and then. Morrigan is the Triple Goddess, the Maiden, the Mother,
and the Crone and her role is invaluable to the living who will all go through these phases again
and again whether they realize it or not. However, I am the Dual Goddess, life and death, light
and dark, the mother and the murderer. This is the nature of the vampire. I consider myself the
Patron to you all. I knew this when your consort came to Egypt for the first time. He was part of
a tribe then, a family, all of them the oldest vampires on earth, the only vampires of your nature
at that time. I watched them for months as they walked across the country and I knew that the
Greek Gods who had created these creatures had no God that these immortal creatures could
claim. These were my children as surely as any human who ever let out her first cry with me
standing at her mothers bedside. I approached them all one night and I promised that if they
would come here to this temple and dedicate themselves to me I would teach them the secrets to
living as vampires. Morrigan has taught you much about death and her lessons are important.
She has given you a great purpose for your darkest gift. But I can teach you the secrets of living
as a vampire.
I had so many questions I wanted to ask. I could not believe that Luke had dedicated himself
to a Goddess and in all of my time with Morrigan he had never mentioned it. I wanted to know
what she meant by teaching me to live as I thought I was doing fairly well on that so far. But the
question that bothered me most pertained to the Goddess I felt I had left behind. Do I have to
give her up to worship you? I asked softly.
Her laughter was breathtaking. It was like a cold drink in the hot sun, so refreshing and light.
Of course not. I do not wish to take you from Morrigan. I want only to guide you as well. When
your consort came many many centuries ago I taught his tribe to drink the blood of intoxicated
men in order to feel drunk themselves, I taught them the new powers of their voices and the
amazing music they could make by simply raising their voice in simple song, I taught them to
follow cultures where beauty was flourishing and to find some way to embrace that. These things
give purpose to immortality. Morrigans lessons have given you purpose as well. With the two of
us you will survive the years. You will do better than survive, in fact. You will thrive! I extended
this promise to Lucania, Angelus, Lucius, and Badru when they were all young and each one has
survived. Angelus finds his place with the artists, Badru follows the culinary wonders of the
world, Lucius is forever the teacher, and Lucaniawellthere was a time when Lucania could
play any tune on any instrument, he composed songs that would shatter the hardest heart, and his
voice made even Isis weep when she overheard him singing of his love for you. I am sure he will
find that again now that he has you forever at his side
Hathor! What the hell are you doing? I spun around feeling as if Luke had just caught me
with another man. He sounded so furious, so indignant that this Goddess and I were standing
there together and from all she had told me I could not discern a reason why.
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I was afraid he had offended her but as he rushed to my side embracing me protectively she
merely laughed once more. I am doing what I promised I would do if you ever brought her here
as a vampire. Dont tell me you still blame me for the mess with Angelus? How was I to know
that he would return at a time when a woman ruled the land and he would become infatuated
with her? I may inspire lust where I walk but I dont direct it! I guided Galene here to intervene.
What more might I have done? Besides, all of that is long past, old friend. You have your love
and she is absolutely extraordinary just as you said she was. You know that I can give her great
insight. You know that very insight is what has sustained you through the years. Are you selfish
enough to deny it to her?
Spinning me around to face him, Luke ranted as if the Goddess in question wasnt standing
right there listening to every word. Hathor can do exactly as she promises. Do not get me wrong
on that. But her light can also drive you to do mad things if you arent careful. She is a being of
extremes. Her nature is either black or it is white with absolutely no space in between
Morrigan may provide her with the dose of reality you feel I am incapable of giving her,
Lucania. Besides, she seems far from reckless. She is far more wise than any of you were in
those days or dont you remember your own role in the debauchery you always seemed to find
when you came here to visit?
Like Hathor I found myself smiling when he glared at her. What I am trying to say is that if
you wish to go through with the dedication I will stay here with you, I will help you prepare, and
I will lead you to the altar like a father to a bride. But I want you to consider this. She is a
Goddess who becomes a force of pure darkness in her rage and only intoxication can bring her
back to herself. That is the influence she may have over your life!
Gently I reached up to stroke his cheek and I smiled at him. I was touched by his worry but I
knew that, like Morrigan had before, I would allow Hathor to claim me as her own. When I was
sure he understood, I turned once more to face her and before I could ask she delivered my
instructions. You must spend the day here as I go to find those who will preside over the
ceremony. When you awake at sunset tomorrow you will find a headdress and you must wear it.
Lucania, I want you to line her eyes and brighten her lips. Aside from that, wear nothing. You
will be in the presence of Gods tomorrow as we have no humans left who know the rites of
dedication. Isis and Osiris will preside over the ceremony until it is time for me to step forward
and claim you as mine.
Why Isis and Osiris? Is he even permitted to leave the Land of the Dead for this? Luke
barked out. He may have accepted my choice but he clearly wasnt happy with it.
Come now, you know why Isis will want to preside over it and you know it would pain her
to preside over this with the two of you without her own consort at her side. She has waited a
long time to see the two of you together. Yours is her favorite story, after all. Speaking of which,
in addition to lining her eyes and brightening her lips I have one more job for you, dear man.
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You are to write a song that symbolizes your immortal union, the one that has led her to us now.
I assume you have not forgotten how to write a song.
I could feel his entire body tense at this. I had only heard one tune that he ever wrote, the
one I caught him playing that he wrote while I was ill, the same song he played for me again and
again the first night that I was a vampire. It was unbelievably beautiful but until now I had never
thought to question why he had never composed another. Of course I havent forgotten. But
what if I do not want to do this? What will you do? Punish me? Refuse her?
I will be disappointed. Isis will be crushed as she has waited all this time to hear you sing
again. So you will be disappointing the same Goddesses who have waited on the night when you
would be reunited with the other half of your soul. No more than that and no less. If you choose
not to write it, dont write it. You punish yourself more than any God could and I have no desire
to turn her away. Oh, there is one more thing I must ask you, Arianne. I know the way that my
presence can sometimesaffectlovers but I ask that for tonight you do not indulge in
pleasures of the flesh. It is best that you come to me tomorrow night clean and pure in that
regard.
It was then that I realized each time I had seen her in the desert night I had made love to
Luke soon after. In fact, I knew that this was going to be a difficult task even as I agreed to it
because just the feeling of his hand in mine had brought my flesh to life. But I did agree to it as I
agreed to everything else. I thought Luke would spend the rest of the night sulking but he
surprised me when he went up to the Goddess at last and took her hands in his as he went down
on one knee before her. I will write the song. I will paint her face. And once more I will put all
of my trust in you. But I must ask of you one thing. Please, guide her alone. She has seen enough
of the forces Sekhmet is capable of calling up already. You and I both know He paused and
before he could shut me out completely I caught from his mind something about Mother, or
Galene as they called her, and madness.
Bending forward I heard her whisper softly, That woman called Sekhmet on her own.
Arianne is under my care only. My counter-part has no need of her. I swear I will protect her and
love her as I have always protected and loved you and yours. Kissing him on his forehead, she
beamed a brilliant grin at him. Now rise, you old fool. Stop attempting to woo me in front of
your woman. The two of them began laughing then in a way that was contagious and soon that
dark empty place where once the people had come to worship Hathor was echoing with immortal
laughter.
When we had all controlled ourselves once more, she led us out of the temple toward the
land surrounding it and she walked in the middle of Luke and me with her arms intertwined in
ours. I had never felt skin as warm as hers nor had I ever seen such a glow, one that seemed to
come from the inside out. But she was solemn as we walked and after some time she told us,
mostly Luke really, what was weighing on her mind. After the dedication the two of you may
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stay one more night but then you need to leave. A tide has turned, Lucania. Men are going to
come and if they are not stopped they will topple our tombs alongside our temples just as they
did to those places once sacred all over the world. I will not let that happen. Osiris must spend
most of his time in the Land of the Dead and he is not free to roam as I am. He and I are partners
watching over the dead and protecting the souls. Those monuments built to house the long-gone
rulers are under our protection as well. Since there is little that he can do with the restrictions
placed upon him, it is on my shoulders alone and I dont think I have to tell you who will be
there to aid me. You cannot be here when Sekhmet meets the invaders. You remember the affect
that her very presence has on vampires, the madness that comes from her presence through me,
and Arianne is too young to fight that influence. In Europe a new dawn is rising. It is a time
where music and poetry will rule, where the stage will see great plays and improved forms of
dancing. That is where the two of you need to go. Show her what you know of living, what I
taught you, while we handle the problems here. Furthermore, I want you to contact Angelus
when you return and tell him what is happening here so he and Lucius know to stay clear and to
tell others the same.
But I have not shown her all that I wanted her to see. She has visited only a small part of
this place, you know. He countered as if this would somehow change her warning.
This fight wont last forever. When the time is right the two of you are free to return.
Offering her hands up to him, I watched as Luke kissed each one before she turned to me so that
I might do the same. I shall see you both when the sun goes down. She said with a smile and
into thin air she vanished.
For a while I simply stood there completely in awe of everything that had happened to me
that night. I was looking out at a square piece of land seeing water where now only small trees
stood trying to fight my physical urges to take Luke right there when suddenly I looked over at
him and I saw only sorrow in his eyes. What is the matter, my love? Do you truly believe this is
wrong for me, that I should turn her down? You know her in a way that I do not and if that is
your advice we can leave here tonight and forget all about this.
He studied me in silence for a while before he tried to smile but even his smile spoke of the
sadness in his heart. No, she will guide you well. I know that about her above all else. I may go
hundreds of years without thinking of her and just when I need her most she is there. She led me
back to France, you know. She led me to you this last time when I had been unable to speak my
promise to you and I thought I might never find you again. The way I feel tonight has nothing to
do with the ceremony you will participate in tomorrow. The things she said, coming back to this
place that I have avoided for so long and thinking of the night that I was dedicated to her myself
in a time when no other Gods had to come because this temple was full of those who served her,
it all made me remember the young man that I was then even though I was a vampire. I survive
by ignoring my wounds, little beauty. I thought you knew that about me. When I first came here
singing my heartbreaking songs that made Isis adore me I was as wounded as a soul could be.
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Hathor saved me from all of that. She sent me out to search for you, she and Isis, and they both
promised that one night you and I would return here bound to one another forever and you would
be blessed by Hathors hand. Their prophecy has come to pass yet I am not thinking of the
fulfillment of it. I am thinking of the newborn vampire who came here broken and had to learn to
live again.
Wrapping my arms around him, I held him a bit too tightly against me. I did not want this
place to bring him pain. I didnt want him to think about the years we missed and the heartbreak
he endured. I kissed him deeply in an attempt to bring him back to the present and then I asked a
question that should have taken his mind off our past. What happened to Mother? What did
Sekhmet do to her?
That is not my story to tell, my love. And do not ask me about Angelus and the woman
ruler. Ask him yourself the next time you see him. We all made promises long ago to never
speak again of that last mad journey here together and I intend to keep my promise. He may
blame Hathor for what you know already but I think he knows better than to do that. Luke
chuckled despite himself as he took my hand and led me further on our exploration of the
grounds.
Why did you give up music? Can you tell me that? I have heard your song once and it was
as Hathor said. It was beautiful enough to break the coldest heart. If I could get up on a stage for
you and it was what you wished I would act out alone any play you wanted. If you do not wish to
sing and make your music for others, why cant you continue to do it for me? I would love to
hear the songs you wrote for me through the millenniums.
Perhaps some night you will. He replied simply. I said no more because it seemed as if the
mention of his songs only increased the ache he felt. That morning when we fell asleep I held
him in my arms and I felt a bit of relief that we were spending only one more night in this
country that seemed to wound him as much as it had once healed his soul.
I awoke to a chamber lit by hundreds of candles. As soon as I opened my eyes I saw Luke
above me looking solemn but not sad. Gently he stroked my hair as he offered me a smile but
something about the beauty of him dressed in the long white linen skirts the ancient men used to
wear and bare from the waist up held me spellbound. His hair was hanging loose and it had
recently been brushed out thoroughly. His eyes, that strange mixture of black and forest green
that belonged to a vampire alone, had been lined in kohl. We must get started with your
preparation. We have a chamber full of Gods who do not like to be kept waiting. He whispered
even as he kissed first my left eye and then my right before gently touching my lips with his
own.
This room that was bare when the two of us fell asleep now contained a large tub full of
steaming water with oils lined up at its edge. I got in silently and I lay back as Luke indicated I
should allowing him to wash my hair with the oil made of Myrrh before doing the same with my
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body. Standing I allowed the water to slide from my pore-less skin and I wondered what sort of
oil Hathor had come up with that continued to scent my flesh which no scent could cling to. I
followed him back to the mat on the floor that I had woken up on though I did not remember it
being there when I went to sleep. Patiently I allowed him to put gold paint that smelled a bit like
honey all over my body trying desperately to ignore the passion that he was igniting inside of me
with each place that he touched. His hand was steady and gentle when he lined my eyes as his
own had been lined and he was completely precise in his movements as he painted my lips with a
mixture in a clay pot that smelled like berries. Smearing a bit of blue from a similar pot onto my
eyelids and putting a large and beautiful Menat necklace around my neck that had in its center a
half moon, he then went to work braiding my hair. He worked so fast that I barely had time to
enjoy this odd moment before he had me stand so he might put on my head a headdress that
contained two small cow horns on either side with a sun disk in the middle.
I felt as if I had slipped into a daze as I followed Luke out of the room and into a great hall
where flowers, wine, and assorted foods were put before various statues. I could see that it
looked as if this was an offering room but it seemed comical to me that the Gods we were going
to meet had actually taken the time to leave offerings to one another. Still I said nothing as we
walked on through this Hall into a great room that I somehow knew as The Hall of Ennead
though I had never heard this name and I had no idea what it meant. For a moment we paused
outside and then, as if he heard a summons I did not, Luke pulled me forward until I was at his
side before he proceeded on.
The first thing that struck me about this chamber was its sheer size. It looked positively
enormous! There were shrines in every corner it seemed, each idol decorated with cloth, and at
the head of this room there stood a large muscular man of enormous height with a small, slender
woman of great beauty at his side. Her eyes looked as if she had been crying and I knew her at
once as Isis though I couldnt understand her tears when her lover was finally standing at her
side. Behind them sat a man on a very high throne with the shape of the sun accenting the head
of it. The throne looked as if it was made of solid gold and the large sun at its top had a huge red
stone in its center that could only be a ruby. Though this man was probably physically the same
size as the younger man before him, his presence seemed to fill up the entire space and I knew at
once that he had to be Ra, father of Hathor and king of the Egyptian Gods. Standing before three
of the ancient worlds most powerful deities I was a bit terrified for the first time but Luke stayed
at my side and he did not release my hand until Osiris started to speak.
I gave my oath to the Gods of Egypt, I swore to accept the guidance of Hathor, and when she
finally emerged from wherever she had been hiding, Osiris and Isis left the dais allowing her to
proceed over the rest of the dedication ceremony with only her great father sharing the space
silently with her. At the end of it, we sealed our bond with a kiss and at last her father stood. I
kneeled to him as it seemed only appropriate and when he touched me with his staff which
closely resembled the symbol on his throne I felt as if I were a human who had been kissed by
the sun. In fact, I had the most realistic vision of my life, that I was standing before the pyramids
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as I had dreamed of doing in my youth with a light blue sky above me and the sun kissing my
skin from above. He and Osiris left as soon as the proceedings were finished but Hathor insisted
that the rest of us return to the Offerings Hall and have a party. There were no words to describe
the way that I felt as we walked back. I couldnt remember feeling such a sense of pure ecstasy,
utter joy, and when she and I toasted each other in the hall and I tasted my cup and realized it
was human blood I felt absolutely perfect.
Soon spirits appeared taking up the instruments that I hadnt noticed when Luke and I had
walked through earlier. We laughed about the fact that she had actually borrowed souls from the
Land of the Dead to play music for our party but as I drank more of the blood she gave me I
realized that it had the same drug in it that the fake queen under Prague had given me. I tried to
ask her why, I tried to tell Luke, but all I could do was sit naked in front of these phantom
musicians in silence as this mystic drug, the only one on earth that could affect a vampire brain
in such a way, took over my mind completely. This isnt like the time before, Arianne. This
time you are safe. The opium has been given to you with love by the very Goddess who
enchanted it so that a vampire might have one substance on this planet that might intoxicate one
into vision quests. That is what it is for, you see? That is why I gave it to you. Hathor assured
me. I believed her and I smiled. At least, I thought I smiled.
In my mind I was focusing on those images of Ra on his throne, of the way that his staff had
made me feel. If one Sun God had cursed us, could not another lift that curse? Luke was in front
of me looking even more beautiful than he had looked earlier. I wanted to tell him that he should
dress this way for all time as well as it suited him but there was something more important on my
mind. Can he, Luke? Can Ra lift the curse? May I walk in the sunlight now that he has blessed
me with his very own staff? I askedat least I hoped my mouth had moved.
No, my love. To lift the curse on our kind would start an unnecessary war between the
Gods. No one wants that. Chances are great that there would be no sunlight left to walk in and no
earth left to roam if that ever happened. But he did give you those precious moments to feel the
sun again. That was a gift, wasnt it? I nodded. It was. I wished someone had warned me so I
might have savored it instead of being overcome with nerves at kneeling before the Great God
but it was a gift none the less. Luke put his hands into mine and for an eternity he simply stared
into my eyes as if he wanted to read my mind and see if I was doing well with the drug. I was in
my opinion. My only complaint as I drank more of the blood was that these phantom ghosts were
playing music and Luke was sitting silently with me. Suddenly he moved me onto his lap and I
wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. In my mind I asked him again
and again to sing for me. Since Hathor mentioned it the night before I wanted to hear him, I
wanted to hear a song of love that was composed just for me. Is that all you need to make you
happy?
In this moment, yes. I whispered into his ear, nibbling a bit on his earlobe so he
understood that by dawn I wanted more from him than a song alone.
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I am not sure how it was done. He didnt move from our tangled embrace and yet the music
changed suddenly and he looked at me with darkness clouding his features as he began to sing in
Greek about a love lived by the seas edge and the evil that tore it apart. At the end of the song,
the part that spoke of my death in childbirth, it seemed as if mere days separated him from that
time. His red tears made it clear that even though I had been able to put behind me the lives I had
discovered from the past, he might never let go of them all. But I wanted to ease his pain. He was
singing again, this time in Italian and without the aid of music, and while I knew that we were
not alone in the room because I could feel the presence of others, I honestly couldnt see anyone
else. Stop, my love. When we leave this place, when we go home, write new songs. The
Goddesses will understand that you must wait until then. Write songs of joy that will make you
happy when you sing them to me. Maybe after you sing those happy songs of our life now in one
hundred years time you will be able to sing these songs for me again without the tears pouring
from your eyes. I whispered softly before I kissed the line of his jaw and then I moved to his
lips pouring all of the passion I had tried to ignore for two nights into that kiss.
My naked body was still covered in the golden mixture and I was almost hypnotized by the
way that the paint was sticking to Lukes skin wherever we touched, as if this was a physical
mark that declared that he was mine alone and the temporary paint might never fade. I moved
aside the thin material separating us but it was Luke who thrust into me imploring me to keep my
eyes open even when the passion engulfed me and my cries filled up the chamber. I could hear
two females in the room, one weeping and the other consoling her, and I knew that it was Isis
and Hathor but it was too late to stop. Besides, as Goddesses, especially Hathor who was a
Goddess of sex as well as fertility, I assumed this was not the first time the two had witnessed
such an act. In Lukes eyes in that moment I could see every lifetime that had come before, each
time we had been in this embrace, and all the times that he had wept to lose me. I could see the
generations of our children from that life in Crete that lived on even now as tributes to our love. I
could see the battle that Aurelio was planning in retribution for Luke wanting to keep me with
him forever. But overpowering all of that was two souls that were joined for better or worse even
as our bodies were joined, two souls that would have wandered through eternity blind to the
beauty of all things if the dark blood had not at last joined us the way we were meant to be
joined. Magic was love, love was magic, and all of it was pulsing through me as we cried out as
one in climax.
Suddenly the temple went black, all of the candles, the food, the wine and blood were gone
and it was exactly as it had looked when Hathor had brought me there the night before. Only the
feeling from the opium and the way that my body had been decorated was left as a testament to
what had happened that night. Luke seemed to be a mess of emotions as he looked around and
realized that the dedication was over and I was now bound to Hathor as surely as I had always
been bound to him. As silently as he had prepared me at the beginning of the night, he led me
outside to the place where I had envisioned water the night before but where no water had been
flowing. I was shocked to see that it now looked exactly as it had in my mind. The small trees
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that had taken over it were gone and there was the same water that those who worshipped in the
temple had used for thousands of years for ceremonial purposes before the religion and the water
itself had dried up. Into this pool Luke led me and I was further surprised to find that it was
warm. Slowly Luke unbraided my hair after he removed the headdress. Using his bare hands he
gently wiped away the golden honey mixture on my body lingering tantalizingly over my breasts
and the inside of my thighs. After he washed my face he whispered in Arabic, You are mine,
Arianne. Dont forget that. Align yourself with whom you wish but you are still mine alone.
And for hours we made love in that pool until the sky began to lighten and the burden of sleep
began to creep into my soul.

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Chapter 3
Luke and I began our journey back to Europe the following night trekking up to Jordan and
on through Syria. When we arrived in Turkey we explored a bit more of this oddly exotic
country but it was clear that we were getting closer to those places that still believed
wholeheartedly in vampires, those who would look at our pale skin and our strange eyes for just
a moment before crossing themselves and going away. I wanted to stop in Greece and take in all
of the amazing wonders of that nation that I wasnt able to look at the last time we were there but
Luke made it clear that after the time he spent in Egypt he wasnt ready yet to explore another
reminder of the years that had passed. While we were staying the day in a tavern in a small
Romanian town we received a letter from Kila indicating that she had spent the past few years
searching for us and that she needed us to see her in Scotland immediately. Because we hadnt
really taken in all that Eastern Europe had to offer I made a promise to myself that we would
return one night but I prepared for the journey by air to aid our friend in whatever had prompted
her request.
When we arrived on Kilas doorstep Luke insisted that I knock because he sensed the anger
in her words to us and he thought she would be more lenient with me. I thought he was being
quite dramatic. However, when she opened her door and saw us her eyes turned the dark emerald
that they only turned when she was furious. For a few moments she simply stood in the doorway
tapping her foot upon the floor with her arms crossed under her breasts. Finally she moved aside
so we could enter declaring, How nice of you to join me. Ive heard not one fecking word from
either of you in over twenty years. I have tried to send message after message only to discover
that you had gone so far away that my magic couldnt reach you. Before you lot went on your
journey to the moon would it have killed you to write me?
Weve been gone for over twenty years? I asked, astounded by this and feeling as if she
had to be wrong.
It is 1825 you little fool. You missed quite a bit of excitement here in Europe. You missed
that raving lunatic from France attempting world domination. You missed yours truly regretting
the day I ever helped the revolutionaries gain their freedom. I would have never done it, you
know, if I had known they were just going to give that freedom over to that bastard. Luckily for
you he has been dead four years so you dont have to worry at all about that mess you helped
create. Hum, lets seewhat else was it?...Ah, yes. You missed two bastard brothers from
Germany taking my stories and re-writing them to the point that they are now unrecognizable
even as they continue to spread through Europe being translated into every major language. They
have ruined everything I worked hard to compile. They made the German princess of Drakes
into a pauper who had to wear some glass shoe to snag a fecking prince so she could stop
cleaning the house and wearing rags. They turned Rapunzel into a victim of a witch who left her
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blind in a forest. They turned me into some helpless little fool who was attackedlisten closely
to thisby a witch. And all of the men who did us wrong? They are now knights in shining
armor. Both brothers should live in fear because I am going to go to Germany and I am going to
hunt them down and kill them both. So how was your journey? Did you see anything
interesting?
Kila was pacing as she quickly came out with everything we had not been around to see.
I couldnt believe what she was telling me concerning the stories! Worst of all, I could tell by the
determination in her step and the look in her eyes that when she said she planned to kill these
men she meant each word of it. Will you stop your pacing for Gods sake and sit down? I do
have some interesting stories for you, one in particular that you are sure to enjoy, but first I need
to hear about these brothers. What happened? How did they get the stories? I questioned. Luke
was sitting silently in the chair across from me being completely useless in dealing with Kila.
She stopped in mid-pace and turned to glare at me. I gave them to the bastards! How else
could they have come by them?
You gave the stories to two mortals you just happened upon? How can you be surprised
that they were given to the world completely distorted? What the hell were you thinking? Luke
spat out finally chiming into the conversation. As badly as I had wanted him to say something
moments before I now wished he had kept his damned mouth shut if that was what he had to say.
Pointing a finger of accusation at him, Kila moved close enough to him to where she was
nearly poking him in the face as she seethed, I tried for three years to find you, to tell you about
the proposition I was offered, and to get your opinion on the matter. But you were gone, you
bastard! Both of you! Angelus told me to do this thing, Lucius said the same thing, and I was still
unsure. If you had been here to make me see reason we wouldnt be having this conversation. So
dont you dare ask me what I was thinking!
If this went any further it was going to turn into a war between the two of them and that
would not accomplish anything. I couldnt let that happen. Softly I asked, Wont you please sit
and tell us what happened? We were terrible for leaving without sending word to anyone. I will
explain everything that led to the travels later but we are both sorry that we werent here when
you needed us. However, we are here now. If you need our help you have to tell us what
happened.
Glaring one more time at Luke, Kila sat in the chair beside of him to tell us all about The
Brothers Grimm. Drake was attending to some business in Germany when he met them. They
were apparently scouring the countryside collecting folk tales and fables for a collection they
intended to work on. He spent the night talking to them and he remembered my stories. The two
said that they were making plans to come this way so Drake wrote me and asked if they might
come and speak to me about some of the stories. I was unsure of the whole idea but I have
thought often about doing something with the stories since Beauty and the Beast was published. I
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know that the tales about Rapunzel and Snow White have been told for centuries all over Europe
and I did think it was possible that my own had spread somehow. I felt like I could prevent the
stories from being completely destroyed if I gave the true accounts over to the world. So after
years of deliberation I finally agreed to meet with the men and a couple of weeks later I went to
see them at an inn in Glasgow. They told me some of the stories they had collected so far and
that Drake had told them both that I had spent years doing the same thing they were doing but
that I couldnt get a book published without damaging my reputation or using an alias because I
am a woman.
I have to say that I was thoroughly duped by them. I thought that they were charming,
sweet, young boys and I respected the appreciation they seemed to have for the old stories that
have survived the ages. I explained to them that my stories were a bit different, that the heroes of
the tales I had were vampires. I made sure that we had an agreement when it came to revision. I
accepted the fact that the vampires would probably have to be written out although they thought
it was a grand idea to leave them in. The countries where vampire tales are abundant were
anything but welcoming to the brothers, they said, and that sort of lore hadnt been explored. I
told them that if they had to write the vampires out, that was fine but I got a promise from them
that nothing else would be changed. The good witches in the stories were to remain good, the
villains would remain villains, you know, all of that. They agreed to my terms emphatically. The
next night I brought them a few of the stories. Lucius had always insisted upon Snow White
being published one day so I brought that along with Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and Rapunzel.
I saw no need to bring yours since writers in France are still inventing new ways to twist it
around. By the way, I heard something about it becoming a play. Congratulations to you both on
your stage debut. Anyway, the men read the stories, said that they absolutely loved them, paid
me a few pieces of gold for the lot, and I let them take the copies I had written for them. A
couple of years later I found a bleedin book of those tales they said they loved so much and I
was disgusted at the things I read!
Do you have a copy of the versions the men wrote? Luke asked thoughtfully. In response
to his question, Kila reached under her stand and pulled out an illustrated book of stories,
throwing them at him with some force.
The name of my tale in that piece of trash is Briar Rose. I am also fairly certain that
vampires are not the only creatures that were duped into giving stories to the men. Do you
remember that story Angelus told us about the young woman who fell in love with a werewolf?
It was just before you went to London and met that annoying girl you turned, the prostitute. We
were all discussing whether or not we believed that vampires were the only strange creatures that
exist outside of fables and he told us he had actually met a werewolf? Luke nodded in
agreement. Read Red Riding Hood. It is that story exactlywellnot exactly because the
slimy bastards turned the wolf into some evil thing that ate a little girls sick grandmother. Oh,
and do you remember Rumpelstiltskin?
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That little faery who helped us all those years ago? Luke questioned. The one with the
power to turn straw into gold?
Yes, thats the one. According to their tale he is an ugly little man who goes around trying
to steal babies. It was his story that made me think other creatures besides vampires have talked
to the brothers. I do not recall hearing any stories about Rumple from my travels. Someone had
to tell them his story, someone who knew him personally. Some of the tales are obviously no
more than folk tales that mothers have been telling their children since stories could be told. But
there are others that someone, someone like us, had to share with the men. Even worse than the
stories is the fact that one of them, Jacob I believe, talked to me as if he knew that some of the
stories were true. He believes in werewolves in the woods and vampires spending centuries
locked in a tower. That is dangerous thinking in a man like that. How long might it be before he
has one pint too many and he starts telling people from one end of Europe to the other how he
once met a vampire in Scotland who gave him real tales of real vampires? What else can I do but
kill them both? So, now that the two of you are here, we are going to Germany. I dont care if it
takes us sixty years, we are going to find them both. And after I have had my fun stalking them
and taking all of the joy out of their lives for what theyve done, I am going to kill them. Three
sets of eyes are better than one and I must say I believe you both owe me this considering the
way you disappeared without a trace!
Luke, who had been reading the story book in his lap, looked up at her suddenly. You
cannot be serious! It is highly unlikely that this man, Jacob, believes any of the tales are true.
Even if a werewolf gave him the story of his love, even though he sat across from you receiving
your vampire tales, that doesnt mean he does or could believe that any of it is truth. Have you
spent so much time away from humans that you have forgotten their nature? They believe only
what their minds allow them to believe and in this part of the world that does not include a belief
in things like us. Yes, it is a pity what theyve done to the beautiful stories you gave them. But
Arianne and I got over the shock of our own story appearing in print and someday you will as
well.
Oh, you mean you got over the tale that still allowed you to be the charming prince in the
end, the tale that allowed Arianne to be the woman who saved your life as you lay dying, a tale
that you could easily recognize as yours even with the changes that were made to it? Yes, I am
sure it was much to take in. How hard do you suppose it would be if, in your tale, a bad faery had
cursed you to sleep for a century and the same son of a bitch who destroyed everything for you
was now being heralded as the prince who turned everything right once more? Those stories
made us all look weak! They made us all seem completely pathetic, really. They are full of lies
and I will not tolerate it! We had an agreement and they broke it so now they are going to learn
that when you fuck with a fairy tale creature sometimes you get more than you bargained for!
For a few moments silence hung over the room like a cloud. I could tell that Kila was not
going to change her mind on this subject and that she would go to Germany to find the men with
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or without our help but I was waiting to see what response Luke had before I said this. At last he
spoke softly, We will go with you if that is what you need but I will not help you find the men.
This has to do with more than stories and I wont be at your side while you try to drive them mad
because I know that is your intent. I adore you, Kila, but you always knew that it could come to
this. You had two choices. You could have let them sit around collecting dust for eternity in their
true form but instead you took the risk of seeing them twisted into something they are not by
mortals so that the world of humans would accept them. The men did what they thought they had
to do to sell the damned things. In truth, they never should have been published at all. So yes, we
will go. But as far as I am concerned you are on your own in hunting the Grimm Brothers.
She seemed highly irritated but she accepted these terms even as she demanded that we
begin traveling north that very night. I had wanted very much to spend some time in our own
Scottish wonderland before returning to the world but she made it clear that this did not suit her.
A conversation about my clothes led us up to our house so I could sort through my old dresses
and pick a few to get me by until I could purchase more and as she and I walked together up the
hill I told her about my experience in Egypt and about the ways of the Asians. During our travel
to Germany I also told her about those years in New Orleans playing an angel of death at
Morrigans command and about the boy who nearly killed Luke. In fact, it seemed as if we did
nothing but talk between Scotland and Germany though she never hinted at what Luke had been
talking about when he said that all of this had to do with something other than stories. However,
when I think of the nineteenth century I feel as if it really did not begin until the night that we
arrived in Dresden. In my heart I carried with me the things that Hathor had said to me in Egypt,
the prediction she made about the change in culture as well as her command that I learn to live. I
soon discovered that even though her mission seemed a bit foolish to me, Kilas insistence that
we go with her was the thing I needed to bring me full force into the Romantic Era and Germany
was an excellent place to begin those years.
The three of us eventually bought a house in Berlin after Kila tracked the brothers to that
city but it was clear to all of us that we were on very different missions. As soon as we settled in,
Luke took us shopping and I was again clothed in expensive gowns fit for royalty, quite a change
from the way I had dressed in the desert. Kila spent her nights stalking one Grimm brother or the
other leaving Luke and I once more to our own devices. We went to the opera houses and the
theaters. We heard all of the latest compositions from composers like Anton Reicha and Johann
Hummel and we discussed the slight differences we noticed in this new wave of composers
compared with the music of the previous century. But one composer in particular was mentioned
often with unpleasant stories accompanying his name. That now infamous name, Ludwig Van
Beethoven, was also used in association with the best music one could find in all the world even
by people who knew him personally and disliked him greatly. It wasnt until we heard a piece he
had composed the year before and we learned that the man was deaf even as he composed it that
the two of us became incredibly interested in meeting him for ourselves. One night as we were
talking to a few men we had met at the conservatory we learned that Beethoven lived in Austria
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and that he had agreed to a performance there, one that would be extremely difficult to get into
and one that might be his last as he rarely performed his pieces himself anymore. We knew that
getting to Vienna from Berlin was nothing for us to accomplish. We could leave at dusk and get
back before Kila noticed we were missing. Getting into the show would be easy as well. So we
went home in giggles like naughty children and we laid out our best finery for the following
night.
When the two of us lived in the Bohemian Forest many years before we spent a great deal
of time visiting Vienna so we knew how to get to the small theater where the performance was
scheduled to take place. Dressed in our finest clothing we took to the air the following night. It
was early November but already one could feel the nip of winter as we rode the wind. However,
the blood that we consumed before leaving Germany and the excitement at this chance did much
to warm me. So often we had heard his music in the few short months that we had been in Berlin
but it was always played by another. The same was true of many of the great composers whose
tunes I had memorized. To see this man who carried with him such a poor reputation as a person
and such a great name even among many of his critics for his work seemed just then as if it was
the greatest thing to do. Imagine my disappointment then when we arrived at the theater only to
learn that Beethoven had changed his mind at the last minute and he was now refusing to appear.
I suppose we should go home. I said softly to Luke seeing no reason to remain in the city.
In response he only grinned at me as he took my hand and pulled me in an unfamiliar
direction. When I tried to ask him where we were going he only put his hand up telling me
silently to be quiet. I was on the brink of giving him a strong piece of my mind when we arrived
outside of a house and I heard music coming from a piano inside. You dont mean that this is
where he lives! I cried out.
Adjusting the tie he had put on for the occasion he smiled at me. It is and I intend to offer
him every piece of gold I brought along if he will only play for us for an hour. I stood off to the
side as he walked up to the door and knocked, the both of us hoping that the composer would
somehow know that someone had come to call. When a young boy answered the door we were
surprised but I was far more surprised when I got my first glimpse at the genius himself. I
assumed he had been working for hours by the look of him. His clothes were nice but they were
wrinkled and untidy. His hair was an unkempt mess of white. But as he and Luke had a silent
written argument between them concerning this performance Luke was requesting I realized that
the proof of his talent lay in the passion of his eyes. In the end he turned us down refusing to
even entertain the idea according to Luke but that night was the start of us coming often to his
house to sit outside and hear his latest work even as he was creating it. If there was nothing new
to entertain us in Berlin, if it was a slow night at all the places we frequented, the two of us
would take to the air and outside Beethovens door we would sit, both of us grateful for our
preternatural hearing. The realization that these amazing pieces were being composed and played
out by a man who could not hear them outside of his head any longer only added to the beauty of
them. I had heard his earliest work and it seemed to me that the longer Beethoven lived on in his
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silent world the louder and more powerful his internal world became. He often knew that we
were there lurking on his doorstep and more than once he opened the door and wrote a message
telling us to leave him the hell alone but he played on knowing we had gone nowhere and in time
he got used to our presence.
In late 1826 as we sat listening to him inside he suddenly stopped and threw open the door
with great force. I thought he was about to tell us again to go as he did most nights and I was
shocked beyond belief when he motioned for us to come inside. His parlor surprised me as much
as his appearance had that first night. It was sparsely furnished and the things that were there
were worn and broken down. But his piano was in perfect shape and it gleamed as if he polished
the wood on a nightly basis. I took a seat on a worn chair as he and Luke had another silent
argument between them and I watched as Beethoven shoved a piece of paper at my lover before
pointing an accusatory finger at him. When Luke only shrugged as if to claim he knew nothing
about whatever it was that Beethoven was asking him, the composer sat abruptly and began to
play a tune that startled me as soon as he started. This was not his work. No, not at all. This was
the tune that Luke had composed for me while I was ill a century before. It was clear now what
the two were arguing about. Beethoven had demanded to know if it was Luke who had left the
music under his door and he was making it clear that he would not play it, he would not let
others see it, and he would refuse this gift until the day he died. Luke continued to play dumb on
the issue but I knew the truth of course. I had no idea why Luke had done this but I had
absolutely no doubt that he had.
The composer and the vampire sat for hours side by side on the piano bench that night
making an odd pair indeed as I sat across the room listening to the things they played back and
forth, watching as the two of them scratched out notes on a page. Beethoven told Luke that he
had talent and that he was a perfect idiot for leaving such amazing music under the doorstep of a
man who had absolutely no need for it when he could instead build a career from music for
himself. Luke countered that if Beethoven thought the music was so great than he was a perfect
idiot for refusing the gift. And in between this exchange of tempers there was great music
flowing that could have held me spellbound forever. When we had but an hour or so before dawn
we said our goodbyes and Beethoven only waved us away but I caught the smile that he gave us
just before I closed his door.
On the way home I asked Luke the same thing Beethoven had demanded to know all night.
Why had he given this song to someone so great when he could have kept it for himself? I
thought it a good sign that he wanted someone well known to have it and to play it. I hoped that
meant that he would start creating more music as Hathor had said he should. But I knew also that
it would have been nothing for him to find work playing his beautiful tune for others without
using someone else, even someone as great as Beethoven, to do it for him. In response he replied
simply that to play for others made no more sense than me reviving my career in acting and with
that he expressed his wish that Beethoven would eventually change his mind on the matter. He
did not, of course. The song was not made public until forty years after the composers death
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even though he had expanded the work in the middle of the song making it partially his own. But
over the next few months between that night and the composers death in March of 1827 an
unusual friendship formed between him and Luke that greatly changed Luke for the better for
years to come.
I noticed this change just a couple of nights after that visit when Luke and I came home
from a night of ballroom dancing to find a piano in the parlor, one he had ordered that was
delivered while we were out. He soon began composing tunes for hours on that thing while I
watched in awe. The composers around Europe at that time, amazing as they were, could not
really hold a candle to the sort of brilliance he had with the notes. He did not need the piano to
write out a song. It was as if the entire thing came to him at once. He would then write down the
notes and play it out to make sure it sounded as he thought it should and it always did. On those
nights when we would find ourselves outside Beethovens door he would bring the sheets of
music with him but when the composer let us in, as he always did after that first time, he always
refused the music. The first piece Luke had given him was the only piece that he kept in his
possession. All of the rest he sent Luke out with when it was time for us to go. I enjoyed
watching Beethoven play but I soon began anticipating those nights when Luke would work
from dusk until dawn on his own music far more than I looked forward to the trips to Vienna.
However, I continued to go each time Luke suggested it. The last night that we saw the man alive
I knew that something was about to happen with him. I cant say what it was that made me feel
this way but I do remember that shortly before we left he had asked Luke something about the
music Luke had given him and I saw Luke point to me and write something down for Beethoven.
On the way home I was told that he explained to Beethoven that the song was for Arianne. In
time a mistranslation and the incorrect assumption that the words on the top of the music were
the title would forever rename that tune Fur Elise or For Alice.
When the great Maestro died just a few nights after that last visit I saw an even greater
change in Luke. I believe now that until we went to Vienna and learned that our friend had died
Luke had continued holding out hope that one day Beethoven would change his mind about
playing the music that Luke was always bringing him. With his life went that dream. Shortly
after that I awoke and prepared myself for the night we had planned, a trip to the opera house,
only to find a group of twenty sitting in my parlor as Luke played for them tunes he must have
composed at the start of the evening. I was happy that he had found a way to let others hear the
great things he was capable of creating but I felt as if something was lost to me as I watched him
play for others. That was the only time I ever sat in on one of his public performances even when
he started playing in the drawing rooms of the upper crust around the city. I still listened to him
play the new songs when he was finished writing them out but I hated to lose the intimacy I
always felt in those moments by sharing the experience with a group of strangers.
It was because of his public engagements that I finally took an interest in the things Kila did
with her nights. I must say that I was a bit shocked by the torment she was delivering mercilessly
upon the one named Jacob night after night. She followed him like a shadow everywhere he went
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and if he dared do something as common as attending a party she would go inside as well
appearing in the shadows, forcing him to doubt his own sanity. Sometimes I followed her as she
followed him never allowing her to see that I was there and locking my mind so she could not
sense me. I am not sure she would have noticed me if I had stood right beside of her. She was
completely unlike I had ever seen her before delighting in the breaking down of this mans mind.
One night when she followed him to a party celebrating his brother Wilhelms birthday her
antics led to a very public breakdown of sorts where Jacob started shouting wildly about the way
he had been cursed by an evil witch in Scotland on one of the journeys he took with his brother
to collect folk tales. He told everyone that the witch had cursed him and that her doppelganger
was following him even now carrying out its masters work as it drove him out of his mind.
Everyone laughed at him, they whispered that he had gone insane, but his brother believed him.
His brother had also seen the image of the Scottish witch in the most peculiar places. Because
they were the only people on earth that might believe the truth of things, Jacob grew ever closer
to Wilhelm and he isolated himself from the rest of the world so completely that by the time
Wilhelm died in 1859 he was Jacobs only friend in the world.
With Kila and Luke becoming increasingly preoccupied with their own interests I started to
feel quite alone in the city that had initially intrigued me. I was tempted to stay in my chambers
night after night reading and ignoring the world outside my door. But I kept Hathors message
forever in the back of my mind. If I made the most of every city, every decade, everything that
held my interest I knew that she was right and I would survive the many centuries of
immortality. Even on the nights when I felt most alone I could always find something that was
full of beauty around me. So it became a game with me to seek out that beauty. I found it in the
art of the museums and on the walls of the well-to-do whose parties I often came to unannounced
and unobserved. I found it in music and in the plays constantly showing. I also found it in the
woods that I visited on nights of the full moon or the Sabbats that Kila had ignored as soon as we
came to Berlin. Each time I was able to appreciate this beauty I felt more connected to the world
around me and I felt again and again the magic in the creations of art and the creations of nature.
For twenty years we stayed in Berlin and though we three lived in the same house and we
went to sleep under the same roof each morning I remember those years as a time when we all
took our own strange path toward self-discovery. One night I awoke to find Kila and Luke
together in the parlor, something that was so rare it took me completely by surprise, and as soon
as I came into the room they announced in unison that we were leaving for Scotland in one week.
I should have been angry that they made this choice for me without consulting me at all but I had
missed them both so much that I couldnt object to the idea. Both of Kilas victims were still
alive but they were hardly doing well. Luke had created a bit of a name for himself on the streets
of Berlin though no one actually knew his name at all. And I had learned how to truly get in
touch with the deepest parts of my soul. In light of all of this I could not think of a reason to stay
and I packed up my things with a smile as I thought on the Scottish castle I was returning to.

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Chapter 4
We returned to Scotland as humans might because Kila and Luke felt as if they needed the
length of the journey to clear their minds of all that had happened in Berlin. Little by little I felt
the two of them returning to me but even though I did not ask I couldnt help but hope that Luke
intended to continue composing music when we returned. It was Kila that I had worried about,
her twenty year lapse in rational thought. I had always suspected that she was capable of true
ruthlessness if she set her mind to it but I had never seen her behave so coldly before. There were
times when I stalked her through those streets that I believed my best friend was lost to me
forever because I couldnt see a trace of the woman I knew in those icy green eyes. But the
closer we got to her home the warmer she became. Her laughter was almost the same, her smile
came nearly as easily as it always had, and by the time we arrived in the Highlands I felt as if she
had been restored to us at last.
On our first night back Luke and I were sitting around in Kilas living room listening to the
changes that we had missed during our travels. London has been changed by these things, these
inventions. Already people are claiming that the factories, the steam powered creations, all of
that will change the world and that the poor may finally have a chance to rise above poverty. But
I think that is total shite. Ive traveled many times to England, something I do not take pleasure
in, because I heard of the changes and I wanted to see them for myself. And do you know what I
found? I found the air turned sour by these factories and the poor being exploited as they always
have by the rich who own the fecking places. Children work twelve hours a day like dogs and
they go home with empty bellies to sleep on the floor with thirteen others around them. Things
are not improving for the poor but the factories that produce the textiles and the metals are
putting a fine amount of gold into the pockets of the rich.
We listened as Kila told us about the use of coal growing by the year in England and
spreading to other parts of Europe. She told us about the invention and expansion of the steam
boat and she told us that shortly before we returned to Scotland from our desert travels the first
steam powered locomotive made its successful journey. Neither of us had any idea what she was
talking about when she said locomotive and she drew us a picture of this thing that traveled on
tracks and could go from one place to another on land the way a ship did on water. This was the
invention that startled me the most. There had been a small production of steam powered things
in the century before so it was not such a shock to see that someone had figured out a way to
harness the pressure needed to run a boat. But this locomotive, this long contraption that traveled
from place to place, this was entirely new to me. And so Kila insisted that after we had a few
nights to enjoy being home we should all travel to England so Luke and I could see the way the
world was changing.
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Back in our own house I jumped right into wiping away the thick coat of dust that covered
everything while Luke and I discussed all that Kila had told us. We pondered the way that this
might affect the world we knew and we joked about Da Vincis flying machine finally being
constructed one day so that humans would know the feeling we had when we took to the air and
we laughed over the idea of tiny personalized locomotives running all over the cobbled streets
we knew so well replacing horses and carriages. Yes, it was all folly to us then. We never
dreamed that the inventions in Britain truly would lead to things like airplanes and automobiles.
On that night we could not conceive of the idea that the world as we knew it would disappear
before the start of the next century. Well, I couldnt conceive of it. My lover who had watched
the world change again and again over the span of three thousand years probably had a better
perspective on the possibilities for the future than I had.
On Beltane, or May Day as the people then liked to call it, Kila finally joined me to
celebrate the Sabbat as we stood outside of my house with bonfires lit in all four of the directions
reciting an incantation that praised the wedded union of the Goddess and the God. With a warm
breeze on our skin and a light rain coming down our minds were far away from changes and
inventions. We smiled at each other as I thought of Kilas mother standing where we were
standing performing the same ritual centuries before as her mother had done before her. I thought
of Morrigan whom I still had not seen since I returned to Europe and I thought of Hathors wise
words to me and in that moment I knew that no matter what the world was about to become, I
would embrace only the things that filled my heart with joy.
A few nights later Kila showed up on our doorstep demanding that we ready ourselves for
the journey to London. I wasnt looking forward to this trip. I knew how Kila felt about the
country and I knew that she would be sullen and irritated so long as we stayed in the capital city.
But it seemed wise to observe the new things so we would not be caught off guard in a way that
might make people suspicious of our nature. So I packed some of the pretty dresses from Berlin
and I met Luke and Kila outside. It wasnt until we were in the air that Kila and Luke informed
me that we would stay in the underground city as long as we remained in town. I had been in no
vampire city since the situation in Prague occurred and I was less than thrilled about this
arrangement. But I was outnumbered on the matter so it seemed I had no choice.
The first shock to my system occurred as soon as we landed in London on Westminster
Bridge. I noticed right off that there was illumination coming from somewhere and as I looked
up I was amazed to see a light of some kind on the bridge. Is it candles? I asked, pointing at it.
It looked brighter than candlelight to be sure but I could not imagine anything else.
No, dearie, its a gas light. The city is full of them. They even have little men who go
around each night lighting the damned things. Where once the streets were dark and only the
light from taverns and places of that nature could be seen, now Londons streets are lit up even in
the dead of night. Kila smiled as she put her arm around me and led me forward.
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She led us first to the docks where she showed us an example of a steam boat. It was only
slightly changed from the boats we had traveled in so often but she assured us that it did cut the
time it took to travel by some degree. From there she led us toward the factories in the city that
were still running despite the late hour. She showed us the slums that she said the factories had
produced and we saw firsthand how deplorable the conditions were for the people there. Because
I was one for facing my fears I asked her to show us the locomotive she told us about when we
started toward the tavern with the city underground. She informed me then that I would have to
wait until our time in London was through as this invention was in the north-east part of the
country. And with that we went on toward the place that I dreaded most.
When we entered the establishment I was shocked to see Cherise and Cook behind the bar. It
also warmed my heart to be received by two kind faces. They were thrilled to see us and they
embraced us as if it had been centuries since we were last together. Kila was not so happy to see
our old friends. While she seemed to like Cook well enough I caught her glaring at Cherise on
more than one occasion. This bothered me. I certainly did not want my only female friends to be
at odds with one another and I saw no reason that they should be. I knew of no rift between them
but I had to wait until we were settled below ground in an apartment right across from the one
Cherise and Cook were sharing to ask Kila about her reaction. At first she refused to answer my
question but as the two of us went out alone to hunt she finally aired her grievances with my dear
friend.
Lucania and I have been friends for many many years as you know. And decade after
decade I tried to comfort him as he pined for you. Well, not you as Arianne but the soul that is
intertwined with his own. He let go of his opportunities to turn you time and time again and he
walked the earth without a single fledgling for thousands of years. Then he finds this whore on
these very streets and as soon as she comes to him near to death he turns her and makes her his
first fledgling knowing that she was not you. Ive met her but a few times and I determined long
ago that she does not have the strength for this existence. If something was to happen and she
was left on her own she would soon perish because she is perhaps the least self-sufficient
vampire I have ever encountered. Turning her was like turning a child and, by god, there is a
reason why it is impossible for a vampire to turn a child. He should have left well enough alone
in her case because this existence wasnt meant for someone so weak.
I looked at Kila and I saw that she meant every word she said. I also got the impression that
she felt as if Luke turning Cherise was a betrayal of loyalty to me. She is Cooks other half,
Kila. And Cook deserves the eternal happiness he has found with her. It was a good thing that
Luke turned her even if he had no idea that she belonged to Cook. And I do not blame him for
waiting when it came to turning me. I have read and heard enough about the lives I lived through
the ages to know that only as Arianne would I have made it as a vampire and as a true
companion to the man I love. Lucania did everything right as far as I am concerned as Cherise
deserves to be one of us no matter what you believe. Yes, she is soft spoken and she has a large
heart but that girl has more strength than you give her credit for. I have seen anger in her eyes
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only once but it was enough to erase any doubt about her ability to defend herself if she needs to.
I love you both and I wont take sides but I think you have it all wrong. I replied softly.
We stayed only one night despite Cherises pleading that we extend our visit. I wanted to
stay longer in the company of our friends but I did not wish to stay another day in that city below
the ground. It seemed that the vampires who were regulars there had become more ruthless, more
out of control, and I understood then why Drake had dispatched Cook to act as overseer of the
place. Cook had a gentle nature, sure, but he was also one of the oldest vampires on earth and his
strength was tremendous. Because the stay was short I couldnt tell if my words to Kila the night
before had changed her mind about my beloved Cherise but in the years that followed I did
notice that on the rare occasions when she talked of her she did stop addressing her as the
whore and I saw that as progress. At any rate, we said goodbye to our friends and headed north
toward the locomotive that hadnt truly left my mind since I saw Kilas drawing of it.
Standing before this massive contraption left me in awe. No one was in it at the time so I
didnt get to see the thing move but that was just as well. It was enough to look at it, to touch the
cold metal it was made of, and to peek in the windows and see the empty seats that were not so
different from the seats in the best made carriages. I was amazed by this thing but I was also
taken aback by all that I had seen in England. Everything from the gas lights to the large
factories with their smoke fogging up the air to this massive thing before me that could carry
many people from one place to another quicker than a carriage made me want to withdraw from
the world. As we took to the air heading once more toward home I debated my options and I
decided that I would withdraw, not from the world as a whole but from any other advances in
inventions that might occur. I would withdraw from them and I would focus my attention
entirely on the new music, the new art, the shows and the books and in this way I would
somehow learn to accept the changing world around me.
Over the next three and a half decades that is precisely what I did. My home in Scotland was
the place that I always returned to but I was away more often than not. Kila came with me on
many of my trips and Luke was with me always. I found that culture was again the center of the
universe in Paris after the ghosts of the revolution and Napoleons rule were laid to rest and the
struggles of an attempt at a new monarchy were hanging over the country and when I kept
hearing of three men who were quickly making the Paris Opera House famous I knew it was
time at last to push aside my old pain and go into a theater in that city for the first time in nearly
one hundred and fifty years. It was Les Huguenots that introduced me to the work of Giacomo
Meyerbeer, the composer and one of the three men I was hearing so much about. Some people
loved the opera, others hated it, but on the streets of Paris everyone talked about it. And so I went
to my lover and I begged him to be at my side the following night when I went for the first time
to the Palais-Royal, the stage that actors of my time laughed at for its sheer snobbery, the stage
that had once hosted the old form of opera that Mademoiselle had once jokingly declared me
unfit for.
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Of course I will go with you. I have heard much about this composer and his new form of
opera. Do you know that they sing all the way through in this? Yes, thats right. There are no
speaking parts at all. I think the show will be wonderful. But something seems wrong with you.
What is it?
I could have told him that even though my lifes work had been done on a different stage,
the memory of this place we were going to was every bit as daunting to me, that it made me
think of my last years as a human woman on the streets that were quickly changing in so many
ways, but what would have been the point? Each year that passed he seemed to understand less
and less how the new inventions and the crumbling of the old ways I knew could affect me so
much as if he had already forgotten what it was like to watch the old ways die. This would have
been but one more thing he could not understand. So I smiled at him and I kissed him telling him
that all was well and we needed to wear our very best for the occasion the following night.
My first time as an audience member looking up at the second greatest stage in the city, my
first time in that theater that, in my time, was the true meeting place for the aristocratic snobs no
matter how many people of that nature we saw in our own audience, it was difficult. The two
theaters looked similar, the people around us looked like they could have been at the Comdie-
Franaise, and for a moment I felt as if I were in some strange time warp waiting for Etienne to
appear and tell me to get my ass back to work. But when the show began it took all of that pain
away. I forgot the past and the trepidation about the future, I forgot that there was talk of Paris
getting its own set of gaslights to light the streets, I forgot everything. I fell in love with the work
of Meyerbeer in that moment. I also rediscovered my love for the Paris culture of my time,
however it might have changed through the citys turmoil of the last century.
Paris wasnt the only place that I often traveled to. I made my way to Germany often as well
to hear composers play their own music and I traveled to Italy to hear the operas there. I avoided
England like the plague seeing it as the place where the new world was forming but I did make
my way to art galleries in Spain and Holland to see the latest in art. I read American publications
left by travelers at docks to get the latest work by Edgar Allan Poe until at last I found a book of
stories in Dublin. He seemed to be the only writer that was doing something unique and in fact I
had never read work like his before. His stories were, of course, the precursor to the now-well-
known genre of horror but in those days no such genre existed and his stories made me grin. But
his poems showed the heart of the troubled man and some of them had the ability to make me
weep.
I was not impressed by many of the writers of the day. It wasnt their writing that I disliked
so much as the subject matter. However, I thought it was fabulous when female writers like Jane
Austen gained some kind of acclaim though it was small then compared with the legacy she left
behind. I thought her writing was dry, perhaps, but she did question not only her own place as a
woman in society simply by daring to write but also the way society as a whole was made up and
the rules people were expected to follow for no good reason at all and I respected that. But each
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time I read one of her works, more out of support of her efforts than anything else, I would
quickly return to the darkness of Poe.
By the start of the 1860s I was a very cultured creature with a wardrobe full of the finest
gowns to wear all over Europe and dresses of modest quality for those rare times when I was at
home. I had no choice but to see the changes around me but I focused on the things I loved. And
I had probably driven my lover and my friend insane with all of my wanderings. But just as
Hathor had predicted, in this way I had found true joy. I was happy. I was happy at home just as I
was happy in my travels and if I ever felt sad or lost I had only to go into my room of magic and
look upon my immortal rose to remind myself who I was and why I had to stay with the things I
loved. However, my peace and my way of dealing with the world was about to come to an abrupt
end when an old friend showed up as Kila and I stood outside my Scottish castle performing a
ritual to welcome the autumn months of 1862.
We were near the end of the ritual when the night that had been so calm just moments before
suddenly erupted in a fury of wind, lightening, and hard rain. Looking around us we saw the
unmistakable shape of a raven in the distance. It had been nearly sixty years since I had last seen
Morrigan and for a moment I thought that, despite the strange sudden weather change, this bird
was truly just a bird. But she erased all doubt when she appeared in the form I knew best.
Observing the Sabbat faithfully I see. That is appreciated. We all thank you. However,
something has happened across the ocean and it isnt working itself out as I thought it would. I
need the combined efforts of you both. Choose a side as you did before in France. Work your
efforts toward that side. Arianne, go on to the battlefields at night and end the suffering of the
men left behind who are too badly wounded to get better. I dont believe it will be hard for the
two of you to pick a side in this war. Arianne, you long ago expressed your loyalty to one though
no such battle had been dreamed up yet. But there is one aspect of this that you will not like.
Until this war is over your business is in the rest of America and I must ask that you not go to
New Orleans. Your city is safe and will remain safe throughout the war. I have seen it already.
You may return when the fight is over if you choose.
The rest of America? You mean that Louisiana is a state now? I questioned, wondering
just how much my city had changed in my extended absence.
It is. Or it was before this fight began. Depending upon the side that wins, it may be again
after the war. I have little time to spend on this plane tonight. I have much to take care of. Will
the two of you heed this call?
Kila said yes immediately and she went about the process of finishing the ritual but I was not
so easily persuaded. I thought you had abandoned me, Morrigan. Ive not seen you in decades
and with the dedication to Hathor I thought I had betrayed you, that she lied when she said you
would accept my alliance with her, and that I would never be blessed by your presence again.
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Now you come to me as if Ive just seen you last night. I replied softly. It was in that moment
that I realized I had been hurt by her absence, like a child abandoned by her mother.
She smiled in that way that had always put me at ease in the past but in that moment it did
not work its charm. I am not offended by your dedication to Hathor. She and I are not enemies
and she does have lessons to teach you that have already been a benefit to you. In the future if
you wish to see me, to speak to me, you have only to call out and I will heed that call. Our
relationship is not a one sided affair, daughter. You may call to me just as I come to you.
Coming toward me, she put her hands on my arms and kissed me softly on each cheek and it was
then that I felt her love and I knew all was well between us. So will you take up this task I asked
of you?
Of course. We will get ready for travel and we will go to America as soon as possible. I
replied. After a whispered thank you I watched as she became again the raven before flying
away.
Gaining passage to America was simple but we had to wait a week before we sailed. In that
time Kila and I did what we could to figure out what this war we were going toward was all
about. We heard pieces of a story but it wasnt enough to put the puzzle together so we sent
letters asking Angelus and Lucius what they knew and the night before we departed Angels
response reached us telling us about the fight between the northern states and the southern
concerning slavery and anger from the south concerning Americas president. It appeared that
many southern states had even gone so far as to succeed from the nation and the fight would
determine whether they would be forced back into the union or whether they would remain on
their own as a separate nation. I wasnt concerned with the governmental side of the fight. I
personally did not care if the states were separate or joined again as one. For me, slavery was the
deciding factor in the war and as the north wanted the barbaric practice outlawed, it was the
north I would defend to Morrigan. Kila felt the same way. However, I also knew that when it
came to the other part of my task I would be an angel of mercy to soldiers on both sides of the
fight as that was the only moral thing to do.
Luke was less than thrilled about this journey and he made that clear from the moment
Kila and I told him about our encounter with the Goddess. When I had demanded that we go to
France to aid in that war he was able to see my reasons even if he didnt completely agree with
them. But despite his past in ancient Crete and the fact that he did believe in gods, he did not
worship them nor did he see a reason why an immortal creature should do the bidding, as he put
it, of a god. I respected that. However, I countered that I wasnt asking him to do this thing. All I
wanted from him was that he come. He was sullen during the journey, at times acting like a real
ass honestly, but he went with us so I could not complain.
This was my first trip on a steam powered boat and at first the changed sound of it and the
sight of its inner workings bothered me but I soon got used to them. As we got closer to our
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destination I overheard talk between the men guiding the ship about the possibility that we might
be mistaken for a military boat and that if such a thing happened all of us were at risk. Instead of
worrying as a normal creature might (a sunken ship could mean death depending on the time of
day) I simply whispered to Morrigan that she look after us and see us safely into port. I felt so
confident that she heard me and she would aid us that I didnt tell my travel companions what I
had heard and aside from getting a bit nervous when we were close to docking, I never wavered
in that feeling of certainty. Because we docked in New York I did not see the full weight of what
we had come into until we started to travel but we were not in America long before I started
asking myself what the hell we had agreed to by coming to this place and putting ourselves in the
middle of such a bloody mess.

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Chapter 5
We began our traveling from battlefield to battlefield by going west from New York
according to news we read in a local paper and we all started out lighthearted. Lukes bad mood
had disappeared over the last few nights and all of us were now viewing this as a new adventure.
I had never seen America before and Kila had only come once in the seventeenth century before
America itself actually existed so to us everything was new and interesting. That feeling died as
soon as we reached the first blood soaked field. Yes, there is always death in war and of course I
had seen my share of it in France but that was not like what we saw again and again in our
travels. This was sheer waste. Each side fighting refused to see it that way as they always do in
war but that was how we saw it. Even though I never requested it from him, Luke started giving
money to both sides in an attempt to help buy things like medical supplies and food only to
discover that supply lines were cut off and all the money in the world couldnt help that. I sat in
pools of blood trying to ease the suffering of the dying before I took their lives, trying to get
personal information so I could send word to families, only to discover that brother was killing
brother and that entire families were losing every male in the bunch. In the years that we tried to
do something to help, no longer caring which side was right anymore, I saw more suffering and
unnecessary misery than I had ever seen before. Each time a fifteen year old boy died in my
arms, each time a man told me of the way he wished he could change the fate of himself and all
of those around him, my heart broke completely for the foolishness of human beings and the
only light I saw in all of this was the idea that when it was over American people of color would
be forever free.
We heard about the end of the war in a completely mortal way. We read about it in a
newspaper that was somehow slipped under our door at a room in an inn we were staying at. The
fact that the Union soldiers won should have filled me with joy and indeed the consequences of it
did but the sheer loss that we had witnessed in those short years, a drop in the sea of time that is
immorality, was so great that I never looked at war the same way again. I swore after that that I
would never again be the angel of mercy on a battlefield no matter how great the cause or how
large the war. I wept for all of those I had spoken with moments before they passed from this
world and I tried to look forward to the future because it was there that my happiness had lived
since I came to America.
So what should we do now? Do you want to go straight to New Orleans? Luke asked as we
walked around the town we were staying in.
Of course. I replied, not waiting to hear Kilas opinion on it. I hoped she would come of
course but I was determined to see my city even if she wished to travel elsewhere on her own.
Kila did not object to the plan and as a result we went by air toward the city that I expected, for
some reason, to be unchanged by the time I had spent away from it.
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I was absolutely heart sick to see the changes that were obvious from the moment we came
into town. There was a railroad in my beloved New Orleans. There were gas lights on the streets
and many of the main roads were now more fit for travel, cobbled over like those in Europe.
There was a telegraph line running to the main post office and battleships docked on the citys
shores. There were also military men all over the damned city and I soon learned that the place
was currently under the command of a general named Nathaniel Banks that everyone seemed to
dislike. From the stories I heard whispered in the tavern, I hated him instantly. In fact, because I
felt as if he had been abusing my people (for that was how I have always seen the people of New
Orleans) I wanted to find him and kill him that first night. Thankfully Luke and Kila made me
see reason on the matter. Because there had been a horrible flood in 1849 many things were
different than I remembered it but my theater sat unchanged. In fact, it seemed to be doing very
well under its current management despite the madness of the world around it. After showing our
most recent version of our deed, the official document that Lukes lawyers in Paris updated
without question every twenty years along with all of his official documents, we took up
residence in the lower floor of the theater as we usually did but for the first few months
depression seeped deep into my soul because I could not see my place anymore in either the
theater or the city that I loved so much.
Luke and Kila made great efforts to restore me to the happiness I had shown in Europe.
They took me to hear music playing in the drawing rooms of the elite, they showed me the
cemeteries I had always liked and the way that they had grown, they even made me ride outside
of town so I could see with my own eyes the plantations that were now clear of slaves. But I also
noticed many former slaves living hard lives despite their freedom and I saw a tension between
black and white in New Orleans that had not been as prominent when slavery existed. Things
were far from right all the way around as far as I was concerned. And there was no amount of
effort on the part of those who loved me that could make me feel differently. Added to all of this
was the fact that for the first time in one hundred years there were no vampires on the streets of
New Orleans before we arrived. Night after night I feared that humans had destroyed the vision I
had had for so long.
One night I was woken up by Luke telling me in a rush that the family who was managing
the theater left earlier that day without a warning or an explanation and that the money for the
sold out play that was supposed to go on in two hours would have to be refunded. Like hell! I
replied, jumping up at once to get dressed.
Arianne, you dont seem to understand what I am saying to you. The father ran all of the
business here, the mother taught the actors and picked the scripts, the boys took care of props
and lights, hell, their daughter was the lead actress! We dont even have a person to play the
piano at the start and during intermission because that was the job of the mothers spinster aunt!
We have no show!
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You play the piano beautifully and you have a better collection of music in your head than
any spinster aunt might. She probably played them church music! A lead actress has an
understudy and it is for moments like this that such a position exists. Everyone has an
understudy. There is someone in the troupe to take on even the smallest part should an actor be
unable to go on. An understudy to a lead is picked because he or she has the talent to be a lead,
usually. Let us hope that this actress is not an exception to that. Is Kila awake? I need her
assistance to get everything together. As soon as the actors arrive we must have a rehearsal. In
the meantime I need you to go to the taverns and round up young men to assist in the stage set up
and all of that. Can you do that for me?
Luke looked as if he had just been in the eye of a major storm as he mumbled that he could
try and that Kila was sleeping in her room down the hall. This was all happening so fast that I
had no time to think as we hunted quickly before returning to sort out the mess of actors and
actresses already gathered on the stage waiting for some instructions. I discovered immediately
that the understudy to the lead was a terrible actress and I was told in a soft whisper by a girl
further down on the theater food chain that the girl was only kept on and in such a high position
because she was related to the general running the city. I fired her on the spot. That soft spoken
young girl who had given me the information turned out to be a force on the stage and it seemed
she studied entire scripts instead of her parts alone so she was put in as lead just as Luke came in
with a few young men behind him and the setting up of the stage began. Kila followed me
backstage so I could take stock of wardrobe and as I sorted through what was available I made a
mental note to update what we had. I had seen this play in Paris a couple of times about two
decades before which made picking out clothes a bit easier but I also wanted to send to Europe
for more updated plays. I decided I would remain backstage during the second act if all went
well with the first in order to make a list of what I needed and the changes I would make.
Though I did not realize it yet, all of this was exactly what I needed to feel alive again.
It could have been a disaster, that show. All of the actors were in a bit of a panic because of
the confusion, the boys who set up the stage nearly killed Kila as she walked through because
they had no idea what they were doing with the setting and I was totally annoyed by the new gas
lights lining the stage especially when one boy burned himself badly trying to light them. Luke
fought me until the bitter end about playing music for me, or for the audience, and I was about to
try it myself before he agreed at last. Some of the audience members demanded their money
back when they discovered the usual lead actress would not be appearing. Apparently the girl
was very great on the stage and while I wished her well in her future career, I hoped in that
moment that she would be trampled by a horse for leaving my theater in a lurch like that. The
anger of those who came to see their usual darling of the stage was made worse when the quiet
girl who was acting as the lead came out a terrified mess that one could barely hear over rustling
programs and irritated grunts. I knew in the first five minutes that if I didnt say something to her
soon this show was going to be a total disaster. Quickly I rushed from the front row up the stairs
that led behind the stage and as soon as she came back I was waiting for her.
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My darling, you are doing a fabulous job. I have worked with some of the greatest actors
of my time in Paris and none of them have ever done better. However, I need you to do just one
thing for me. Its a small thing but it will help ease your nerves a bit. When you go back out I
need you to ignore the crowd. They dont exist anymore. There is no one here but you and those
you share a stage with and this is nothing more than a rehearsal like the one we just finished. Can
you pretend that is true? Can you forget about the world like you did while you recited lines
earlier? I smiled my sweetest smile for greater effect.
The girl looked so unsure, so painfully shy, that my heart broke for her. She had too much
raw talent to let her shy nature keep her from the stage. I had not lied when I told her that her
skill could compare with the greats of my time. Perhaps it hadnt her first time out but she had
never had a student of Mademoiselle De Lorme to teach her the tricks of blocking the world out
before. I knew that even if the rest of the show was a disaster tonight and she couldnt quite cut it
at this performance I was not giving up on this girl. With enough work on her part and on mine
she could stand on the largest stages in the world and be truly amazing. Will you stay here? It
would be a comfort to me to know that you are back here and that you can pull me off even if
you wont actually do it.
Absolutely, Ill stay! I said, hugging her to me.
I thought it was a good sign that she gave me a smile that was a bit more confident when she
went back out. I kept the curtain parted a little with my hand so I could watch her and she looked
at me in an uncertain way twice but then she seemed to slip at last into the role with no thought
for the outside world. Kila came back to watch with me as we whispered about the girls
potential and we marveled at the way she seemed to do a little better each time she opened her
mouth. I remained there until the last act and I clapped with the crowd as the curtain came down.
When the actors were brought out once more they were given a standing ovation. The look
of pride on my new lead actresss face when she was asked for two encores warmed me to the
core. I was proud of them all but I was especially proud of her. I hugged her as I told her just
how proud I was and that she would be the lead actress of the troupe from then on. The cast,
Luke and Kila, and the boys who helped set up seemed so happy about the way that the night had
gone as we congregated in my office and this unexpected success made me want to share my
new vision for the future of the theater. I told them about this vision, about the ornate wardrobe I
intended to buy and the new plays I intended to put on, I told them that I wanted to add opera to
the theater and that I would put notice in the newspaper to get talent together for this but that
they all had first opportunity to audition for roles if they could sing, and that I wanted to add
music to the list of entertainment we offered as well. I told them that after the play was finished
we would have a large party to celebrate. I inspired them all to believe in what we could achieve
together now that I had taken the reigns.
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From that night on I worked six nights a week with the actresses in the troupe, especially
with Lilly, the new lead, and Kila did her best with the actors though she hadnt quite found her
footing when it came to acting. I also sent for the things that I needed and Kila and I discussed a
trip to Europe to search for a suitable instructor for the opera I wanted to add. Everything seemed
so exciting, so fresh, as if I had never known a grand life on a stage, and for the first time since I
opened the theater I honestly gave no thought for the past. What was happening now seemed too
important, having the ability to showcase all of the innovations in art as it applied to the stage
seemed too great, to think of the girl I used to be. The only part of my past that I did think on
often was Mademoiselle. I needed the things she taught me now as much as I had needed the
lessons when I was her pupil because it seemed like the most important job in the world to help
this amazing young talent discover her full potential on my stage. She did not want marriage or
children despite the fact that her appearance at first glance made her seem better suited to that
life than a life in theaters. She wanted greatness. Her dream was to travel to Europe, to be an
international success. So for Lilly I was determined to be the best teacher I could be.
Kila and I spent most of our time inside the theater but when we had our Monday nights to
ourselves and during the week after the shows were finished we often went around the city
attending parties and viewing the latest works of art and musical composition. Luke was always
with us when we mingled in this way and the people in the groups were completely enamored
with him. The women wanted to bed him, the men wanted to be like him, and those who were
not instantly won over seemed to fall under his spell as soon as he played a short tune he had
written on the pianos that each residence seemed to have. These people were wealthy to be sure
and they were often in the audience of our shows but Luke did not think of how quickly word of
his abilities with music would spread with the sort of people he played for. He did it in the spirit
of fun. I could have warned him that this would grant him notoriety in New Orleans and maybe
in other cities in Louisiana as well but I could not risk him giving up the thing he was great at
again when I fell a little more in love with him each time I heard him play.
One evening I awoke to find myself alone in the apartment we all shared. This was rare but
I thought nothing of it as I dressed with the intention of heading out to hunt. However, when I
reached the entrance I heard the darkest music coming from the theater, music unlike anything I
had ever heard before. I was careful to close the door behind me when I walked in and saw Luke
in a trance at the piano that sat at the side of the stage. He looked possessed and it might have
frightened one of our young friends had they come in. At least that was what I told myself as I
closed the door. In truth, I knew that he had finally reached a peak of sorts with his talent and I
did not want to share him in this moment with anyone else. My feet barely touched the floor as I
glided up to the front row to watch him, so careful was I not to disturb him though in truth I
dont think I could have if I had tried. He was so magnificent pounding away at the keys with a
fury I had never seen before, his hair falling out of the bit of leather he had used to pull it back,
his eyes closed to the world around him. Yes, I thought, this is what brilliant creation should look
like. But it was the darkness, the depth of the music that clutched my still heart. If there was a
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chance that the loneliest moments of eternity could be captured by notes of music, he had
captured it exactly. And it was as heartbreaking as it was beautiful.
When he finished he simply sat looking down at the keys as if he was surprised to suddenly
find himself in the real world again. Silent, unmoving, he looked a bit like a statue as he
sometimes did and because the sight of him like that always chilled my blood, I walked up the
stairs and onto the stage wrapping my arms around his shoulders as I rested my chin on his head.
There are no words great enough to describe the music that lives inside your soul, Lucania. I
whispered.
Do you remember the singers we met below Moscow all those years ago? The men who
taught you the incredible range of a vampires voice? He asked, his voice sounding as if his
mind was still far away.
Of course. How could I forget them? They were some of the most kind-hearted vampires I
ever met. I replied as I stood straight and began gathering his hair together so I might pull it
back for him once more. As if his hard playing could ever make him hot no matter how many
gaslights burned before him.
I have a set of songs like the one I just played but I need singers, vampires who can
understand the true meaning of them, to come and sing them if I follow through with this idea I
have of showing them to an audience. They are kind, as you said, and they can be trusted here
with the people who work for us. I wouldnt request that any vampire come unless I was sure of
that.
I was trying to take in the meaning of his words as I sat on the bench beside of him so that
my back was to the keys even as I replied softly, Of course you wouldnt. But what is this idea?
What are you planning?
Finally he looked at me and I knew that he had returned completely to the room around him.
Do you know why I stopped composing tunes? I shook my head no because in truth this was
not a conversation he would ever have with me in the past. Because there are many who can
create music from places of joy, happiness, but I am not one of them. My music has always come
from the deepest wounds on my soul and in order to make music from the wounds I have to
touch them, poke them, tear at them until they bleed. I was tired of bleeding, Arianne. For the
first time in my existence I wake up night after night knowing true joy. I open my eyes and you
are there or the evidence that youve been at my side is there and I go to sleep each morning
knowing that this is the way it will be for all time. I will never be at your side when you take
your last breath, I will never again keep watch over your death bed, you wont leave me for your
mortal life, you are mine completely and eternally. And when I turned you I decided that the pain
of the past belonged in the past, that my life now should be dedicated only to this bliss. So I gave
up the music because it is not worth it to me to mar one night of our life together to feel the
anguish I must feel to make the tunes. All was well until Egypt. Hathor, that vindictive He
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shook his head as if he wished to clear his mind of the anger he felt toward the desert Goddess.
She brought to life the need to play again. If I could hate her despite the many good things she
did for me once I would hate her for the burden she tossed so carelessly upon my soul. What
took three thousand years to shrug off she has now crushed me with again after one night.
I took his hand and I held it tight in mine wishing there was something I could do to ease his
pain. Yes, I loved what he could do but I didnt want it if it would always fill him with the
sorrow that was so clear in his eyes as he looked at me in that moment. If you want to let it all
go I swear that I will never ask you to play again. I understand now in a way that you wouldnt
allow me to understand before and if it hurts you it isnt worth the beauty for me. In response he
only smiled as he kissed my hand telling me without words that this was beyond my control,
beyond his own control. But if you wish to bring in the Russian singers or others, if you want
your music played on the stage, you will have total control of that aspect of the theater.
Everything from the talent to the schedule will be yours alone to decide. This is your souls
blood. Its only right that you decide where it will flow.
Thank you, my love. At first I thought you were going a bit over the top with all of your
plans for this place but I think the city needs this. The people deserve the best as if they were
European royalty. Speaking of that, I looked over the books last night and I believe we could
afford to offer seats in the back at a rate greatly reduced from the usual so that everyone in New
Orleans may have a chance to come here. What do you think?
I cant believe I didnt think of that. Its a brilliant idea. I replied with a grin, touched by
his kindness. For a moment we sat in silence looking at one another. My mind was swimming
with everything and I was happy to see that he was beginning to feel the excitement that had
been flowing through my veins for weeks. But there was one thing I didnt understand about his
idea to bring in singers from Moscow. Why dont you sing the songs? The ones you wrote, I
mean. Do you realize that it has been over a century and a half that Ive been with you and I have
never heard you sing beyond that one song in Egypt? I know you can manage an entire opera.
Even if you had been a terrible singer in life you would be great now but somehow I doubt you
were a terrible singer in life.
Kissing my lips in a light and teasing way he replied simply, I dont sing. And that was
that.
The two of us were about to go out hunting when Kila rushed in with a strange gleam in her
bright sea-green eyes. The color of them told me she was either extremely thrilled with
something or she was terribly confused but before I could ask she said in a soft whisper, There
is magic in this place, Arianne. Did you know that? Did you know about the slave magic?
What are you talking about? I questioned, having no idea what she meant by slave
magic.
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So you dont know. Come, both of you. I have something to show you.
She didnt say a word as we followed her quickly outside of town to a plantation that looked
as if it had been abandoned. But it wasnt the big house she was headed toward. She took us
instead to a line of trees that stood some feet from a small grave yard, a slave cemetery, where a
group of black women were gathered chanting quietly so they wouldnt be heard. They were
honoring the dead. I could tell by the words I was able to make out despite the strange language
they were speaking. It was more than that though. Yes, they were honoring them but they were
also petitioning them. Suddenly I saw a woman standing tall, a beautiful woman with very dark
skin and an unnatural gleam in her eye, and though she was close to the others she was not a part
of the group. In fact, they didnt notice her at all. I heard a name in the chant, Oya, and the
reaction from the stranger in addition to the swirl of color that suddenly surrounded her made it
clear that this was the name of a Goddess and that the Goddess had come to heed the call of the
women though they could not see her. They dont even know shes there. I whispered softly.
Oh, they know. Even when you are human if you know enough to call on a Goddess you
damned sure know it when you are in her presence. Kila replied with a beaming grin on her
face. There is magic in this place that never knew the power our lands once knew, magic that is
new when there was no old magic of its kind here to build from, and I have never seen that
before in all my years. New magic. Perhaps you are right about this place, Arianne. I am also
starting to feel as if anything is possible on these strange shores. Respectfully she bowed her
head toward this Goddess called Oya and I did the same before we turned and walked away
leaving behind us a strange clap of thunder and a strong sudden wind. As I hunted I felt as if this
had become one of the strangest nights that I had ever known yet everything felt as if it was
falling into place just as I thought it never would the night that we arrived.
A few nights later I encountered the strangest thing yet, something that would change me for
many years to come. I was working at the theater when a man came in and asked if he could take
tintypes of the auditorium, telling me that he did this for a living and if I liked them he would sell
them to me to use how I saw fit. I had no idea what he was talking about but I noticed that he had
a strange looking set of equipment with him. Still, I was busy. I told him he could do what he
wanted so long as he stayed out of my way and I went back to work. At one point I turned
around and the man was gone. I brushed him off as some sort of madman and I put the whole
thing out of my mind until a few nights later when I was in the tavern down the street and that
funny madman came up to me handing me a stack of something that was unidentifiable to me.
They are finished. Sit, have a look. A few of them turned out very nice of the theater and the
cast but not a single one came out of you. Has anyone ever told you that you move around too
much? He asked with a laugh.
Shaking my head I said simply, I dont understand you. I have yet to meet you and know
what you are talking about.
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Laughing once more, he led me gently toward an empty table and upon that table he spread
out the first photographs I had ever seen. What can I say about the feeling that went through me
as I looked down and I realized that this man had somehow captured the exact moments when he
had stood behind me as my actors rehearsed on the stage? There were no words for it. I think
many people assume that for an immortal the invention of moving pictures would have been the
thing that really startled them and in many cases, that is true. But when moving pictures came I
had become quite acquainted with pictures that were still. There was nothing of its type to
prepare me for those first still shots, though. What is this? I asked as I carefully investigated
each print before me. Just as he said, each picture of me turned out like a blur of white that
resembled smoke if smoke had a solid form. I made a mental note to ask Luke about this later but
first I wanted to know how this man had made such magic.
Youve never even seen a Daguerreotype before, have you? Thatswellthats a bit
extraordinary. As I continued to investigate what was before me he was studying me and at last
he clapped his hands together and jumped up as if he could not sit still another moment. Come
on. Follow me.
I gathered the prints together handling them as if they were as precious as gold and as fragile
as a newborn. I even held them to my chest. But when I realized he was trying to lead me to his
room in the tavern I waved him away. I have to go back to the theater for the money but I have
the money for these no matter what they cost. Im a married woman and I cant go with you
The man turned back for me and softly he said, You misread my intentions, Maam. I have
many tintypes in my room that I would like to show you and if you would like, I will show you
how the camera functions. You see, during the war I traveled and I used my camera often. These
prints I took were not for sale. I wanted to keep them to remind myself, and the generations to
come, how hideous war really is. But perhaps we shouldnt now that I think of it. You are a lady
and the tintypes, some of them, are so brutal
I saw the battlefields. I saw the wounded, the dying, the bodies. You wont shock me, sir. I
would like to see them and I would be grateful if you would show me how
yourcameraworks.
With an understanding smile he led me forward and I followed him into his room where he
gestured for me to sit on the bed while he retrieved from places here and there cases that he had.
I opened the first one he put in front of me and I was completely shocked by the images. Some of
the tintypes were of important looking men gathered around tents looking as if they were deep in
the discussion of moves and maneuvers but the others were the Civil War just as I remembered it
with hundreds, even thousands, of bodies littering fields from end to end in the cold hard light of
day. Seeing them there, remembering the men and their suffering, spotting battlefields and even
the faces of corpses that I had known in their last moments, it was all more than I could handle. I
dont know what I was thinking of when I agreed to look at them. Perhaps I believed that my
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fascination with the invention would dull the pain of the images but I was wrong. I didnt make it
through the first case before I asked him to show me his camera. I have rented the room beside
of me to use as a temporary work space while I am in town. The camera is in there but I will
gladly show you how to use it if you follow me. Would you also like to see how a tintype is
developed?
Of course I agreed without hesitation. As we exited the room he finally turned to me and
extended his hand. I have forgotten my manners in all of this excitement. I apologize. My name
is David McDaniel.
It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. McDaniel. My name is Arianne. I replied, though in truth
I couldnt care less just then what his name was. I was too preoccupied with what lay on the
other side of the next door.
Laughing, he said, You may call me David. Do you have a surname?
I am sure that I do but around here I am simply Arianne. I replied with a smile.
When we walked inside this temporary work room of his I was amazed by even the smallest
thing I saw because I had no idea what any of the things I found were used for so everything
seemed magical. When he led me toward his camera and he showed me how to look through the
lens, how to focus and take the shot, I actually clapped when I had done it. He then went through
the process of producing a tintype step by step and he was as patient, as thorough, as a teacher
with a pupil without treating me like a fool as men often did with women in such instances. By
the end of this lesson I knew that I could do this as well and I knew that I wanted to, very much.
He agreed to wait in his room with the tintypes of the theater while I rushed back to get Luke
along with the money. I talked the whole way back but Luke said very little and I was worried
about his demeanor when the two men met. Luke wanted to see the work room after I showed
him my new treasures and David agreed to show him, acting as kind to him as he had been to
me.
I stayed behind this time spreading out the tintypes that now belonged to me all over the bed
and studying them once more with a great intensity. When the pair returned they were behaving
rather jovially with one another and I realized they were making a deal to get me a camera from
Boston. David was assuring Luke that it was the best on the market and that his connections with
a man he called Mathew would ensure that he was able to purchase it despite going out on his
own after the war ended. I had no idea what any of that meant but I was ecstatic over the news
that I would soon own a way to forever capture moments in time outside of memory. It was
made clear that Luke was intending to rent to him an empty building that we owned so that
David could have what he called his portrait studio there and this made me happy as well. He
seemed like a nice man and he lit up over this talk of a studio the way I lit up over the prospect
of my new camera. I had a feeling he would stay long in New Orleans and that he would have
success with his tintypes long after Luke and I were gone from the place.
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When we were at home in our apartment again with the tintypes spread out between us I was
finally able to ask Luke the question that had been on my mind since I first saw the images.
Why do you suppose each shot of me came out like that?
I dont know. It may have something to do with the way our skin reacts to artificial light.
There are times if you look at a vampire under gaslights, for instance, that it seems as if our skin
is almost absorbing the light, reflecting it out, Im not sure how exactly to describe it. At any
rate, with the process used in the creation of the tintypes it may be this that makes it impossible
for you to be photographed.
My eyes shot up at once. You truly think it is impossible for us to ever be captured in this
way?
Laughing softly, he replied, Yes, dear, it seems it is. I fell silent at this as I put down the
tintype in my hand and looked away. A large part of my happiness with this invention was its
ability to capture anything so I wouldnt forget it and it was true that at first I thought only of the
places we might go and the people we might meet, the temporary moments of our long lives. But
I had also dreamed of a time when I would hold in my hands a picture of Luke and me. I even
had a brief vision of a night when we might all be together and we could capture for future
generations of vampires the image of some of the oldest vampires on earth. Now he was sitting
here telling me that would never come to pass. As if he had been reading my thoughts, Luke took
my hand and brought me back to the present. When this camera arrives with the supplies we
need to develop the tintypes I will see what I can do and I promise you that if there is some way,
any way at all, to capture a vampires image like this I will find it as long as you understand that
such a thing could be dangerous for us if it isnt kept safe, out of the hands of mortals that might
see it later. But you are not foolish enough to need such a reminder, are you? Cheer up, sweet
girl. Just look at what that strange mans camera has already shown us. Think of all the
possibilities
That was the mantra we all lived by in the years to come. The last decades of the nineteenth
century and the centuries that followed have been about nothing except focusing on possibilities
it seems. My infatuation with the camera broke down the walls that had kept me from accepting
the modernization of the world. My love of it allowed me to later on appreciate inventions like
the automobile, the phonograph, and the airplane that did the impossible as far as we were
concerned by allowing humans to take to the air and know in some way what we felt each time
we did the same. If not for the possibilities I saw in those tintypes I dont know how I would
have reacted when electric light forced vampires to cover up our skin at all times to appear
human or when inventions like the computer and its internet came along much later and made
anonymity nearly impossible for creatures like us even though we still couldnt come out of the
shadows. But I was able as the years progressed to take the good with the bad where inventions
and technology were concerned because, like everyone else in the world, I was always thinking
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of the possibilities. It began in New Orleans in those times and it has not yet died out for me. A
revived spirit of adventure is what I owe to that strange man and his clever little tintypes.

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Chapter 6
In the nights that followed I watched Luke as he made his preparations for his first opera and
I was shocked when I read the libretto and realized that this show, titled Immortals Meus or My
Immortal, was a tale about a vampire who searched the world over again and again for the soul
of the mortal woman he loved only to watch her die taking a piece of him with her each time.
This was our story. He didnt even change the names of my past selves. He did, however, change
the ending. In this version, when Annalise drove the dagger into her heart, the male lead of the
show committed himself to the sun vowing that he would be reborn and he would find her again
in another life. While he waited on the immortal singers from Moscow who replied to his request
to come he used my actors to rehearse the show and I watched each rehearsal feeling a mixture
of pride and a little fear well up inside of me each time. I couldnt quite understand his logic with
all of it. But the songs, the music, it was all so beautiful and he seemed genuinely happy as he
directed. In fact, he was fast becoming the director not only of the opera in our theater but also of
the orchestra that he had held auditions for as well. And as the nights passed and we split our
time between preparing for his creative endeavors and mine, as it seemed obvious that all of this
work was making him happier than I had seen him in some time, I had no reason to be anything
but proud of him. I found peace in the fact that, as strange as it was to me that he wrote an opera
based on our past, he had found his place with his talent and I knew that he would thrive in New
Orleans.
When they came at last, the Russian singers, two men and one woman, they were a
welcomed addition to our cast and they came to us on the same night that I received the
wardrobe and the scripts that I had ordered. I had given my actors the night off so Luke could
have full use of the auditorium to get the singers acquainted with the libretto for what would be
his first opera and I was alone in the apartment when I opened up the crates to look over the
wonderful things I had ordered. I was so pleased with the wardrobe and the way that each piece
seemed to fit the vision I had for the theaters direction. I had spent enough time reading
everything Luke was working on and listening to his vision of dark-themed operas to know what
costumes would be perfect for the direction of his work and I knew the scripts for the first plays
that I had ordered well enough to know that there were just as many costumes that would be
perfect for my shows as well. Because I had to take them up to my office that also served as the
wardrobe room in order to properly sort them, I decided to look through the ten sets of scripts for
ten shows that I had requested and that was when my excitement turned to full blown rage. By an
accident of fate, I found that there had been a mix up and in place of one of the shows I had
ordered scripts for I had been sent the script for the latest stage production of Beauty and the
Beast. The very sight of it did what the mention of it through the years always seemed to do. It
took me straight back to the night when Kila brought the book to us in Prague and with that came
the months of hell that followed. The damned story seemed as if it would forever serve as a
mockery of my love and the sacrifices Luke made for me just to be branded a beast by a
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strangers pen. I would walk into the sunlight, I told myself, before I ever directed that show on
my stage. In my fury at seeing it I responded by throwing the scripts for it across the room before
I went into the auditorium to fetch two stagehands to help me carry the crates to my office
thinking that this was the end of the subject.
I could hear the amazing vampires from Moscows underground city as they sang the
libretto I had practically memorized out front while I was sorting through the costumes and the
props and putting everything where it belonged in my office backstage. I then sat down with the
scripts for the shows wanted in order to read through them and decide what would be best for the
height of the summer social season in town. I was still reading when Lukes rehearsal came to an
end and for a little while a strange silence seemed to fill the whole space. Try as I might to focus
on anything, the music, my work, anything else, I had been disgusted to find that my mind
returned again and again to the unwanted script I had left below. Without the music Luke had
been playing on piano and the powerful sounds of our new employees to drown out these
thoughts they returned with a vengeance and when I heard Luke come in I welcomed the
intrusion though I only waved in greeting. I wanted his presence there, his chatter, so I could
finally finish reading the script I had been trying to focus on for the better part of an hour. But
instead of a distraction what he gave me was a simple, You forgot one, my love. as he slipped
the same script I was trying to ignore in my mind right into my hand so that it covered the other.
I forgot absolutely nothing. I replied, throwing it with more force than I intended across
the room without a glance up.
Sitting in the chair across from me he allowed me some peace for just a moment before he
pursued a line of conversation I wanted no part of. I, for one, think that you should put the show
on here. I see no reason, actually, why you shouldnt. It has been a big success in Europe since it
first premiered nearly a century ago and with each update, each revision, it seems to be met with
even more favorable reviews. The theater could use a show with a reputation like that especially
at a time when I am about to premier operas of my own creation that no one has ever heard of.
My tales are dark, you know. They are unlike other things currently in vogue on the stage. There
is a chance that they will be a flop and we will need something with a successful run, a well-
known reputation, to offset such a loss.
Sitting aside the script I had been pretending to read during this speech of his, I leveled my
eyes at him in a way that can only be described as cold. Your shows are not going to flop. The
operas themselves may be brand new and they may be dark but you already have a reputation in
this city for musical greatness. The rich adore you and anything with your name on it is going to
be solid gold to them. You know that. You must. Everyone else does. In addition to that, the
librettos and the music youve composed are absolutely brilliant. I wouldnt say it if it wasnt
truth but I know that you are aware of this as well. Even if the shows were terrible, even if we
lost our asses because of them, I would never consider doing Beauty and the Beast on my stage
with my troupe. I will not direct it, I will not have any part in it, I will not even entertain the
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possibility of such a thing and frankly I cannot believe that you would either! Have you forgotten
your reaction to that womans bastard version of our story, Lucania? Have you forgotten the way
you felt at being portrayed as a beast? I havent and I will not betray what we have for any
amount of money by playing a role in a show based on those lies! Aurelios handiwork can find a
home at someone elses theater.
I was so angry at his suggestion that we do the play that when he leaned forward to take my
hand I actually leaned back to get away from him. Never one to be deterred that easily, he got up
and walked around to sit on the desk right in front of me and when he reached for me I
reluctantly put my hands in his. No one said that you have to put on someone elses version of
our story, little beauty. This theater belongs to us. The troupe, the script, everything here is under
our control. You would not be the first to revise the old story if you wanted to. Imagine it. You
could finally show the world the truth, the real darkness in our fairytale and the love that has
always been our light. You could show the world that the beast was a man who killed only those
who were beyond redemption and that even a vampire can love someone so much that he will
give up everything in the world to have her at his side for all time. You can show our city the
truth of things.
He made a very compelling case but I still wasnt completely convinced. I have to admit,
though, that in that moment I was damning him to hell and back for saying this to me and
making the wheels turn in my busy mind. Just because he wanted to do some soul searching on
the stage and work out his demons like this, that did not mean I should be expected to do the
same. But was it not me who had pushed him toward his creative work in the first place? And
wasnt it possible that I might be able to find a little joy in writing Beauty and the Beast as he
seemed to have found happiness in writing My Immortal? If you are still unconvinced, let me
just say that my birthday is in May and I believe a year would give you plenty of time to have the
new script ready just in time for the height of spring which is, as you know, a busy season in our
business.
I laughed at this outright. Since when in hell do you have a birthday? I asked.
His smile almost hid his sudden touch of sorrow as he stood. Since the day that I was born
of course. Leaning down to kiss my cheek, he added softly, When you were at the height of
your career in Paris I never got to see you on the stage because I was doing what I thought was
right for you. I rarely ask things of you and when I do it is usually because the thing I ask means
a great deal to me. I know that the night I made you I ended any chance I had of seeing you
perform as I always dreamed I would but this seems to be a chance to get as close to that as I
ever can. So if you wont do it for yourself and your unresolved pain from the past, I ask that you
do it for me.
For a couple of hours I remained alone in the office contemplating all of this, furiously
reading through the same damned script I still wanted no part of even as my mind was already
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working on a revision. I knew I had to do this. He was correct when he said that he rarely asked
anything of me and it did seem that using this as a way to show the world the incredible man
with the beast who lived within was the only justice I could give him for the thousands of years
he spent seeing himself as a monster. But with the knowledge that I had to do the show for him
came the realization that there was no one else on earth who could play our roles in such a
production save for us. I would give him everything that he wanted for one night and one night
only but that night would not come until we were ready to leave the city because after I told the
people the truth and appeared before them as myself with my vampire lover at my side, I could
not be sure that there would be no consequences for it either from the world of the living or the
world of the undead.
And so we will do it, Lucania. I will write it and we will perform it together but only
once. And then we will move on. I want to see Eastern Europe when the time comes. Perhaps
there we will be safe from the backlash. I whispered into his ear as I rode him hard in an
attempt to stuff down the frustration, the gnawing feeling that all of this was wrong. Is that what
you want? To share the stage with me and show them all who we really are?
In response he let out a furious growl as he bit into to my wrist and I knew that even if it
brought about our destruction in one form or another, that is exactly what he wanted us to do. For
him, I would roll the dice and hope like hell that nothing more than old wrongs righted would
come from it when all was said and done.
I had my precious camera from Boston before the premier of Lukes opera and in the weeks
of rehearsal and preparation as Kila and I used adverts to spread the world of the show Luke used
rehearsals as an opportunity to do what he had promised. Night after night as he directed the cast
and worked out malfunctions with props and wardrobe he also took many pictures of the vampire
singers and he used a variety of techniques to develop the tintypes in a way that might allow our
kind to be seen. I stopped asking about the progress early on and I tried to focus instead on the
buzz that was already spreading around New Orleans about the show but each morning that came
without a tintype that showed the undead cast as more than smoky white figures left me feeling
very disappointed. The night before the premier I was sitting in the audience watching the last
full dress rehearsal, completely wrapped up in the show as if I hadnt heard each line again and
again over the last few weeks, when suddenly I heard Luke tell the cast to take twenty minutes
away from the auditorium. Whats going on? They were all doing so well. It was foolish to stop
them right in the middle like that.
Annalise is next and you have yet to sit through that entire act so I knew I had to show this
to you now. Coming toward me with the biggest smile on his face, he presented to me an image
that brought tears to my eyes. The trick, it seems, is to have a solid black background, minimal
lighting, and very little solution for development. But it isnt impossible. It can be done.
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I couldnt seem to take my eyes away from the tintype of the lead singer who was playing
Lukes role in the show. He was as clear as any human in the image I held in my palm, not at all
the solid smoky figure he had been in all the other attempts, and I had never been happier to see
any object before in my life. When Luke took the stage the following night to introduce his work
of sheer genius, when the crowd cheered for him at the end as I knew they would, I would be
able to capture the moment forever on a tintype and even if I had to hide it away in Scotland and
protect it as we had always had to do with our rose, I would have that moment forever captured
thanks to his efforts. I couldnt thank him because for once I was speechless. Instead I only
clasped his hand and brought it to my lips for a kiss as he reached over to wipe away the streak
of red on my face. Everything, it seemed, was falling into place for us. And I was beginning to
feel as if anything was possible.
Luke was already gone when I awoke the next evening. He had hunted as soon as the sun
went down and already he was in the auditorium acting like a slave driver with his cast. Kila and
I went out to hunt together and when we returned there was a line forming already for the
premier so that we had to go in the back entrance in order to get inside. My beloved Lilly, who
was playing a small role in the show, caught the two of us as we were coming in and she seemed
quite pleased to announce that it was believed the show was going to sell out and that deals were
already being made to allow a number of people to pay a few pennies to stand here and there
around the auditorium to see it. Because I wanted to be there when Luke came backstage before
show time I sent Kila to the apartment to get my best gown while I sat in the office waiting. I
was personally a bundle of nerves as a result of the production. Logically I knew that when a
large number of seats were sold on opening night it meant absolutely nothing in a brand new
show except that someone involved had a good reputation. It could still flop. Realistically. But
my intuition had told me since the first time I happened upon Lucania playing a tune he
composed in Paris over a century before that if he ever decided to do something with music it
would be an absolute hit and no matter what logic dictated, I knew this show was going to be a
great success for him. But he did not. There was a part of him that seemed to grow more
uncertain with each night that brought him closer to this and when he finally came in I knew that
under his mask of indifference he doubted his ability to make this work.
So, whats it like to be heralded as the most brilliant composer and librettist in all of the
state without the audience hearing a word or a note youve written yet? Kila asked Luke as I
buttoned his jacket for him and forced him to sit so I could brush his hair. She wasnt simply
teasing him. We had actually heard while we were hunting that the review for the show that
would appear in the newspaper was finished already and the show had been labeled a success
before its actual premier.
I dont give a damn what others are saying about it. I am doing this in part for Arianne and
completely for me. If it is called genius, madness, or trash, it is all the same as far as I am
concerned personally. Luke declared, finally standing up and indulging my need to fuss over
him no more.
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That, my friend, is complete shite! I have known you a long time and I like to think that
after centuries of friendship I know you pretty damned well. Never have I known you to do
anything, large or small, without wanting it to be a success. You cant tell me that you dont
want this, your biggest endeavor of its kind that Ive seen yet from you, to be successful and you
cant tell me that you arent concerned in the least either way. Kila replied in her honest way.
Of course I care. If it fails, the humans in the cast will be greatly disappointed and I would
hate that, Fredrick would refuse to ever sing lead again and as he values the reputation he had
five hundred years ago he might even go back to Moscow, and the theater would suffer a loss in
profit. I didnt say that I dont care about its success professionally. We own the damned theater,
Kila. Of course that is a concern. But I did not write this for glory or gain. I will not exactly build
some career on this even if it is a great success and all the others are as well. I composed it for
my own pleasure and I have directed the whole thing for the same reason so no, I do not care
what tomorrows newspaper has already said about it without seeing it and I dont care what the
people say about it on the streets afterward either. I have to go.
I actually had to grab him by the arm to keep him from taking off without a kiss even though
he had plenty of time left to get to the stage. Break a leg, my love. I whispered against his lips.
He gave me his sweetest smile and he kissed me as I had just kissed him before he rushed off.
Bleedin Christ, he is wound tighter than Ive ever seen him before and given his nature,
that says quite a bit. Kila announced softly as we took our seats.
As I looked behind me to make sure the camera equipment was exactly where I requested it,
I replied, I know he is but he hasnt any reason to be. Everyone will love it. Not simply because
its Lukes and he is the darling of music to many but simply because he really is brilliant.
He is and Ive seen enough rehearsals to know that the show is as well but, Lowering her
voice to a whisper, she said, arent you the least bit worried that all of this is too dark for the
people? Ive read them all. And most of them are about Vampires. She didnt have to finish
it. I knew where she was going. I didnt reply. The lights around the room were being
extinguished which indicated that Luke was about to come out and introduce the show.
As soon as he walked out the thunder of applause erupted from every corner of the room.
He looked absolutely dashing in his suit and I smiled as much at him as at the unexpected
butterflies I got when I looked at him. I was so proud of him in that moment, so proud that he
was mine. Suddenly I thought I understood in a small way what he meant when he spoke of the
chance to see me on stage that was once denied him and the importance to him of having it back
just once. If it was possible that he could feel a fraction of what I felt sitting there watching him
as he became a sensation before my eyes, I understood at last that all of the times I stood on the
largest stages of Europe and he wasnt there I had not been the only one who was disappointed
by his absence.
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At the end of his articulate introduction he took his place at the piano as he alone played the
opening music and the curtain came up to reveal act one, the tale of Calliope. Just as I had with
the rehearsals, I found myself sucked into this stage production of lives gone by that were no
longer mine. They belonged here in the world of fiction. That was what I had come to believe.
They were far easier to swallow at times when they were regulated to this place with the dark
and haunting music of a lone piano or an entire orchestra behind them. I laughed with the others
and I wept when the vampire held his lovers body in his arms. I wanted to walk out at the last
act, Annalises story, the way I did in each rehearsal but tonight that was not an option. Tonight I
was not the woman who once betrayed her love in a way so great it was almost unforgiveable.
No. Tonight I was a supportive wife who would watch with the audience as I tried not to cringe.
It actually wasnt so bad once I looked at it like a story and nothing more. There were times
when Kila actually grabbed my arm as if she could take no more of the scenes before her and
once I wondered if she would look at me differently after coming as close as she ever would to
seeing what had happened all those centuries ago. But I pushed it all away and at the end when I
knew I could not take that final moment before me I had only to look over at Luke as he played
in order to forget the pain that was starting to seep in.
When the opera ended everyone in the audience stood almost as one. The applause, the calls
of Bravo!, it was all so loud that for a moment my senses nearly overloaded. But I had no time
for that. Blocking the sounds from my mind as I had learned to do long ago I jumped up and
rushed behind me to the doors where a stagehand stood throughout the show beside of my
camera. Carrying it down, I was ready when Luke came out to join the cast and receive his
praise. Quickly I took the picture and I was careful in the way I developed it just as he had
shown me the night before but I had no time to enjoy the finished product because the cast soon
left him by himself so the people could call out his name and he could give his thanks. There was
a moment when he looked right at me and he put his hand to his heart as he gave me his most
disarming grin and when I was able to capture it I had to hold in my tears of joy. In a rash move,
he gestured for me to come up. This had nothing to do with the audience, with all of those who
were gathered. This was a moment just for us that happened to include a large portion of the city.
I came as quickly as I could without giving a thought to the expensive camera I left in the middle
of the aisle and when I reached him he literally picked me up off of my feet as he kissed me. It
seems you were right, little beauty. He whispered softly when he finally put me down.
Squeezing the hand that held my own, I leaned closer and whispered back, I usually am,
you know.
If I did this alone imagine what the response will be when we stand up here together. He
replied and he took a bow with my hand still held in his so that I had to bow as well though this
glory was not at all mine. I knew what he was talking about and I knew that he was right. But he
would have to wait to see his prediction fulfilled as I had told him already and in the meantime I
would watch with pride and respect as he transformed the theater into a place with a musical
reputation that rivaled the reputation of its plays.
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In the years that followed all three of us tasted great success and the theater did indeed
acquire a reputation that spread far beyond city limits or the states boarders. People from all
over the south came to see our shows and as Lukes reputation for writing the most intriguing
operas grew, so did Lillys reputation for being one of the best actresses in the country. Four
years after her first show she was offered a three month spot as the lead actress in a prestigious
traveling troupe playing some of the grandest places in the nation and it was with pride that I
insisted she go. So she wouldnt have to be alone, I paid Davids assistant from the portrait
studio to go along as well and photograph her moments on the stage. While they were gone Kila
started assisting at the studio as a hobby and by the time the pair returned from their travels Kila
had discovered that while she absolutely hated the process of developing tintypes, she did have a
grand vision for the top floor of the building that the portrait studio was in. By the end of that
year Kila had opened up an art gallery featuring only works of art by local artists, including
former slaves, and she had taken up painting herself which she proudly displayed in her gallery.
Despite the fact that she was not as social as Luke by nature, she soon developed her own fan
base and more than once collectors from as far away as New York came to see her work.
Eventually the moment came when I felt it was time to give Lilly a push toward her big
dream. All she had ever wanted was to stand on the big stages in Europe and achieve
international success and because I was in constant contact with theater people from Moscow to
Venice it was nothing to put together what people today would call a resume or a portfolio full of
tintypes from her performances, reviews of her work, and my own letter of high recommendation
to send to the right people in the right places across the Atlantic. I had spent some of our seven
years together teaching her French and Italian and working with her on acting in these languages
the way my teacher once worked with me so I hoped that I would hear back from someone in a
country where she could communicate fluently but I knew she had her heart set on Paris and I
wanted that for her most of all. I loved the girl so much and she reminded me of myself at her
age at times so strongly that I imagined Luke and I could not have created a child together more
like me than she was. Whatever her dreams were, she deserved to live them. The fact that it was
Paris? That was only one more bitter-sweet reminder. I wasnt surprised when I actually received
letters from theaters in Paris, London, and Saint Petersburg offering her employment any more
than I was when she declared emphatically that it was the theater in Paris she would go. It would
break my heart to let her go knowing I would never see her again but I was grateful for the stacks
of tintypes I had from the lens of my camera that had watched her grow up through the years on
my stage. As I helped her pack and I stashed a great deal of gold in her bag without her
knowledge I knew that for the first time I was saying goodbye to a mortal that I could look at a
century later thanks to the wonders of our evolving world.
Lillys departure toward the end of 1872 was not the only thing that suddenly changed. A
month later Luke and Kila started talking about leaving. They did not come right out and say that
the time had come for all of us to move on and temporarily go our separate ways but they were
hinting at it all the time and I knew that if I was going to keep my promise to put on the once in a
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lifetime show Luke wanted, I had to start working on the script full time. I had written a little
here and there over the years but I had never focused all of my attention on it. Now I knew the
work had to be done and there wasnt a moment to spare. A restless vampire could make the
decision to move on and within mere hours they were gone. So I said nothing to the others as I
used every free moment I had to write and when I had the script completed just two weeks later I
gathered Luke and Kila together to announce the plans I knew they had been waiting to hear.
They seemed almost relieved when I told them that the script was finished and we could put on
the show the following month and be out of the city by the beginning of the year. Work on
casting and rehearsals began almost immediately. But Luke would not allow anything in this
production to be rushed, to be put on half-way. As if the pressure of this particular performance
wasnt enough, Fredrick, the lead baritone of the opera and the star of the Moscow singers,
suddenly announced a couple of weeks later that he was leaving for his home city immediately.
He, too, had grown restless and while we understood this, the complication wasnt welcomed
when one considered that this was one more loose end we had to tie up in one months time.
With Frederick leaving and the work on the play I think we should stay at least until New
Years Eve. Kila said as we sat around the apartment making our individual plans for the tasks
we had before us. All of my efforts were being put into the show and Luke was completely
focused on the business end of things. He was trying to find a suitable manager for the theater
and now he had to find one willing to take on troupes that lacked their stars in the opera and in
the acting troupe. You see, I have been thinking about this and it seems wrong to go without
some sort of celebration. We have all had our share of triumph since we came and the people
here have become a real community for us. I just think that after the show it will be nice to say a
proper goodbye with a farewell party on the last night of the year.
Luke and I looked up from the lists we were making simultaneously to see Kila staring at her
glass-like nails as if she were totally absorbed in the study of them. Normally this is a sign of
disinterest but with Kila it is usually an indication that she is planning something she is
embarrassed to admit to. I, for one, believe that is an amazing idea and we should do it. I
replied honestly.
I agree. Luke chimed in, adding, Any amount of money you need, its yours if you
believe you can handle the preparations on your own. I would be more than happy to assist but I
am a bit busy at the moment trying to find someone who wont run the theater into the ground
once we are gone without first replacing the main attractions of our shows.
Standing up, Kila ruffled Lukes hair in a playful gesture as she laughed. I was once a
Highland princess, you know. No one, and I mean no one, throws a party like we do. Leave all of
the hard stuff to me while you attend to the tough job of writing letters to your friends in Europe
to send you a new manager, a new singer, and the best lead actress they can spare.

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Chapter 7
In the madness of the weeks that followed we were all so busy that it was almost easy to
forget the dangers of what Luke and I were going to do. He had come to me early on and
declared that he wanted us to do a double feature, opening with his opera My Immortal first and
then changing the end to the truth so it could lead into Beauty and the Beast with an intermission
between the two. I agreed to this and I did so because I thought the plan was going to be perfect
from the audiences point of view. But as everything started coming together it became clear that
Luke would not simply be satisfied telling our entire story from my first mortal kiss to my last to
the people of the city. He wanted to do so much better than that. He wanted to do everything
short of shouting it out at them to prove that we are vampires. He re-wrote certain scenes in the
opera so he could show the crowd his fangs. I responded to this by working my ass off until I
created what was the first pair of fake fangs in existence using beeswax from a candle and
shaping them with painstaking accuracy. At first he refused outright to wear them and then he
agreed only on the grounds that at the end of Beauty and the Beast when he appeared to turn me,
he was truly going to bite me and suck a little of my blood. The only reason, he told me, that I
wasnt allowed to bite him back was because he refused to go so far as to show the humans the
true way that vampires are made.
So you do have limits? I am happy to hear that. I was starting to doubt it, Lucania! I spat
out, frustrated beyond belief with the many arguments of this sort that we had had over
everything from his insistence that he weep real blood tears throughout both shows to his
demand that I drive a real dagger into my chest at the end of the opera when Annalise kills
herself. Actually, the latter was a sarcastic suggestion I made in response to the outrageous
things he was proposing and he thought it was sheer genius so he added it to the list of mad
demands.
Leveling an icy glare at me, he replied, I have one night, one chance at this. You wont
even get up on the stage at rehearsals, for fucks sake! You are paying a second rate girl to
simply stand in for you! So if you are only going to give me one night to do this I am going to do
it to the fullest! I will be damned if I get up there with you and pretend to be human when this is
the only chance I may ever have to show the world around us who I really am and what we have
really endured to get here! And why the hell shouldnt I? You cant honestly be afraid that they
are going to walk away at the end of it believing that what they saw was real and the nice young
couple who owns the theater are vampires, can you? You have lived too long among them to
believe something so stupid.
I could have said any of the cruel things that were on the tip of my tongue in response to
the hurt that lodged in my chest at his harsh words. It was obvious to me that he was becoming
someone else with each night that passed. His temper was shorter, his words were crueler when
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he talked to me, and the arguments between us were becoming more frequent and less controlled
than I could remember from rough patches in the past. I felt as if I was losing him in all of this,
like the beast inside him was coming alive with each step forward that we took. But the fear
came from something deeper than that. I knew that vampires did not get on a stage and show the
world their true selves, every secret of who we are, before an audience full of human beings.
Angelus and Lucius loved us. I knew that of course. But they were also the protectors of our
entire species and if it came down to eliminating two, no matter how painful the act would be for
them, or exposing us all, I did not doubt that they would put up a fight against us. I feared no
other vampires. Retribution from some young rogue wasnt even an option because Angel and
Lucius would never allow that. But how could Luke be so foolish, so, yes, stupid to think that
just because they loved him that meant they would sacrifice everyone on the altar of his insanity?
I wanted to ask him that, to remind him that vampires had spent thousands of years hidden
because we are meant to be hidden, but it would have done no good. We had two nights until this
one time only performance and it was already predicted that the show would be sold out
immediately. Adverts were promising people the experience of a lifetime and in that he was
determined, it seemed, not to disappoint. He was beyond listening to me on anything when it
came to his plan, whatever the hell it really was. So I carried the fear in silence as I left Luke by
himself to go out alone for the first time in so long just to disappear for a little while. For the rest
of the night I walked the cold streets with a sinking feeling in my stomach.
He had put me in an impossible position, one that might cost me my life, and as I thought of
the woman I had been on the last night of my mortal life in France, the moment that was
supposed to be acted out on the stage in less than forty-eight hours, as I thought of the dagger
that pierced my lung and the certainty I had then that Luke would have to let me die, I almost felt
amused by the irony of this entire situation. If the story of our lives together would lead to my
death at the hands of Angelus, the first soul who tried to save me through immortality, if it was
all going to happen like that, it seemed almost a fitting situation. I was grateful for the century
and a half I had had with Lucania, I was grateful that the child I had been once died in her older
brothers ice-cold arms instead of turning so her soul could go on and become the woman that
loved Lucania so long ago when we both thought we had such a short time on earth, and I was
glad that neither Angel nor Luke gave up their quest to find me and eventually bring me into the
darkness. But I knew that if it did end the way I feared, Aurelio would be pleased with the
situation, seeing the irony in it all as I did, and for that alone I would fight like hell against my
dear Angel if he came to do me harm the night of our big show.
I awoke the night of the event with the feeling that someone was watching me. When I
opened my eyes I was surrounded by darkness and Angel was standing in the doorway. Lukes
side of the bed was empty and I couldnt feel him anywhere in the theater. This put me on alert
instantly. Where is Lucania? I asked, moving quickly from the bed. If Angel had come with ill
intent as I assumed I was at least going to give him a run for his money.
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I watched his every move as he took a seat on the opposite side of the bed. Hes out hunting
with Kila and Lucius. I stayed behind because I couldnt listen to one more word of Kilas ball
preparations. We are staying for that apparently. Kila has insisted upon it.
Why have you come, Angelus? I questioned outright. This man was like a brother to me
yet there I stood waiting for the moment when he would attack. I could take no more of it.
I could tell that he understood at last what I had been thinking since I woke up by the look of
annoyance, perhaps even anger, that suddenly flashed over his features. But his voice was calm
and level when he replied, Weve come for the same reason all the others have come, of course.
The vampire cities in Europe have been abuzz with news of tonights show since that Russian
singer you had returned to Moscows underground telling everyone about it. I knew before,
though, about your idea for Beauty and the Beast. Luke has kept me updated. Cherise and Cook
have come, Drake and Cinderella as well, and Lucius of course, in addition to many others. We
are all excited for the show. We havent seen a vampire do something this bold in centuries.
When he spoke of the event he did not seem upset or angry. There were no signs that he was
even surprised by it all. But his mind was cloaked as usual and after so long of seeing him as my
friend could I so easily recognize him as my enemy if that is what he had become? I remained
standing in silence until he barked out impatiently, Will you take a seat? How could you be
foolish enough to believe that we would come to do either of you harm? We would kill anyone
of our kind who attempted to hurt the two of you!
Although I wasnt completely convinced of Angels intentions I could not stand there on
guard against him anymore. I was, after all, his little sister. Why is he doing this? I asked as I
took a seat beside of him. The concept is brilliant, that I will admit. The way he re-worked the
opera so it would flow effortlessly into the play, the idea of appearing before the world as
ourselves without anyone realizing it, but its as if he is trying to give away our secret on that
stage. For every attempt I have made to substitute stage props for reality he has made two more
to come out unmasked, so to speak. Ive talked him into wearing fangs I shaped myself from wax
in many of the scenes but he agreed only if he gets to truly bite me in the final scene
Suddenly Angel laughed. Im sorry, dear. Its only that I remember the sounds I heard from
the other side of the door in Scotland over Luke biting you once before. Unless youve learned
some self-control since then, talk of real vampires will be the last thing the audience is
discussing when they leave.
I am not going to climax on stage, Angel, and I am being serious with you! I declared as I
smacked him playfully. Try as I might, I couldnt help chuckling. I needed this, the humor he
always brought out in me. But I needed his insight even more. The truth is, now that my fears
over the consequences from our kind seemed unfounded I could admit that I was very worried
about Lukes state of mind. He is even intending to weep blood tears before everyone in the
audience tonight. I was the one who re-wrote the script for Beauty and the Beast, yes, and it was
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my choice that we take the stage but only because he insisted the play be shown here, that I tell
the story the way it should be told. I was thrilled when he wrote that first opera. It may have been
our story but he was detached from it the whole time. He saw it only in the most technical terms.
This is different. This has become very personal. Do you think it was the wrong thing to do, this
show? What is he trying to accomplish?
When Angel reached for my hand I nearly jumped but his gentle smile put me at ease. This
isnt as odd as you might think. All vampires who live long enough eventually want to do
something to remind the world that we are here. It gets to be too much sometimes, feeling like a
ghost with a body. People can see us, they interact with us, but they will never know who we
truly are. It is lonely to live in a world that you share with others knowing there is no real place
for you at all. I was once an artist in Florence during the years of Michelangelos rise to success
and there was a time when my reputation rivaled his. Look at Lucius and his university. Luke
may be showing himself in a more obvious way than others typically do but he is not the first to
try to step out of the shadows the world keeps us in even if it is only for one night. I understand
why he wants this. But what about you? You are doing this for him, that much is clear. Have you
considered how you will feel when you take your final bow tonight?
I will be fine. I tried to assure him, though I already had my doubts.
Well, if the night ends and you are not fine just know that I am here for you. What do you
say we go out and hunt? Between the show and Cherise I doubt you will have any opportunities
for peace the rest of the evening.
And that is what we did. We had an hour where we spoke not of the show but of Kilas
plans for her New Years Eve celebration and the fact that Angel had overheard Luke talking to
Cook and Cherise about leaving the theater in their hands when we traveled on. Angel made me
laugh when he declared that Luke was a snob who felt only vampires were good enough for the
position.
When I drank from my victim that night I welcomed the terrible images from his mind
because it cleared the last of the apprehension in me. For a moment the only thing I focused on
was the thick bitter liquid flowing down my throat. But as soon as I dropped the body my first
thought was that I would now look human enough to pass before the gaslights on the stage and
the fear in me that this night would be my undoing returned with that simple reminder of what
the night would hold.
As soon as we walked into the sitting room of the apartment I was hit with the sounds of
many voices coming at me at once. How many vampires came for this? I whispered when I
realized I recognized only a few of the very white faces in the room.
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Angel chuckled. The two rows in the front on both sides of the aisle have been reserved for
our kind. He replied just as Cherise found me through the crowd and she pulled me forward,
chatting away about those who had come and how excited she was to see me act at last.
I was introduced to vampires from all over Europe, names that I forgot as soon as I was
taken away. I was able to speak briefly with Drake and his lovely woman and I smiled as they
both wished me luck and Cook came over to me whispering that everyone in the room was a
direct fledgling of Luciuss or a second generation that had come with his or her maker. I wanted
to ask him about this because it struck me as odd but, before I could, Kila came to me
announcing that the time had come for me to go backstage. While I was grateful to be away from
the gathering I was now terrified of what I was about to do. But with Lucania at my side I
walked the back entrance toward the office that would be my dressing room for this final time on
a stage. It wasnt just the content of the show that bothered me as I took off my clothes and
allowed Luke to help me into my simple costume for the first scene of the first act. I was about to
take my place on a stage for the first time in a century and a half knowing all the time that I
would never do it again. A dream once lost was found for just four hours and then it would be
ripped from me again. The fact that I was putting on makeup that would identify me as the Greek
girl I had been three thousand years ago only added to this surreal ache.
Luke shared the makeshift dressing room with me. For the first scene he had to appear
human as well and if our mortal cast mates had seen the efforts both of us had to go through to
look like them while they were putting their efforts into looking like us they might have realized
something was amiss. In addition to this, we intended to pretend as if the blood tears he would
cry during the show were a trick of makeup, a secret we would not share. So it was best that we
do our pretending in a room without the others.
When it was time Luke took my hand and led me toward the curtain. It had been decided
that the two of us would go out to introduce each show so we waited until our cue and we
stepped forward from behind the velvet. But when I looked out at the packed house, the strange
sight of two full rows of vampires looking back at me, I froze. What the hell had I been thinking?
The opera, the play, it was all madness and if I went through with it I realized everyone,
including Luke, was staring at me waiting on me to say what I had come out to say. My training
kicked in then like instinct and I smiled a dazzling smile at the crowd. When they clapped just
because I grinned I told myself that I could do this and I would. It would be no different from the
night I played Ophelia at my dead friends request while his royal grandfather watched on.
Thank you all for coming and we hope you enjoy the opera Immortales Meus. The applause
followed us off the stage and as I fixed the wax fangs into Lukes mouth so he would know how
to do it on his own, smiling at his insistence that this was sheer stupidity, I thought the worst had
passed.
As soon as the opera began it was a great challenge to keep the emotion out of my voice as I
sang the lead female role. If I had never read Lukes old journals and heard the pain the man I
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love experienced in each life I lived and lost the opera would have been easy for me. Yes, I had
lived these lives and the events technically belonged to me just as they belonged to my lover but
I had the luxury of not remembering them. Not really. The flashes I had seen on occasion and the
emotions that came with them faded quickly leaving me no worse for wear. But to relive them
now as I watched the very real pain, the honesty of full memory, in Lukes eyes and to remember
the words he once wrote was unbearable.
He was able to weep when it was appropriate displaying his blood tears for all to see hidden
under the disguise of stage makeup but I was supposed to be human and I had to hold in the tears
that I yearned to release. But as painful as each goodbye was, it was the final act of the opera, the
story of Annalise, that replaced the sorrow I was clinging to at that point with true bitterness and
despair. This aspect of my past was like no other. I had come closer to touching her, she had
done truly terrible things, and if I felt her emotions and heard whispers of her thoughts the way I
had with the others since the show started the consequences could be disastrous. I cannot do
this! After Russia we promised each other that we would lay Annalise to rest, remember? We
swore never to so much as speak of her again! Do not make me go out there and act like her
when a part of her may still exist inside my soul! I whispered frantically as I held on to Lukes
wrists so hard that I would have bruised him if that would have been possible. The mortal boy
acting as narrator on the stage was setting the scene for this horrid thing and I would have killed
him in that moment if it would have done any good.
Luke, ever patient even when he was incapable of understanding me, clasped my wrists
gently as he offered a warm smile. You will be amazing as youve been since the first scene.
This is it. We finish this and then comes the intermission. Were halfway to the end and this
experience of sharing the stage with you has been more spectacular than I could have dreamed.
Now, Im up. He went to walk toward his cue but I wouldnt let him go. Gently but firmly, he
took my hands off of him and he kissed my temple lightly. You will be fine. Nothing of her
lives in you. I swear it!
I watched him go out knowing he was wrong about that but I had never bungled a role in my
life and I refused to start now. At first all was well. I was immersed in the part of a sweet young
girl. But after the scene where Annalise saw Luke feed things started to change inside of me as
they once did inside of her. There I stood before him, both of us vampires now separated from
that real moment in time by many centuries and for me, many lives, yet when I looked at him I
felt Annalises revulsion, her hatred for him and for herself because she couldnt let him go, her
fury over the promises he made to her once knowing damned well he couldnt keep them. In the
scene where the priest was torturing him I did feel the sorrow and the regret as I held my love
and sang Annalises words of comfort but I also felt her steely determination to purge him of his
demon if it could be done and the desperation she felt knowing that f this did not work she would
end her own life before she kept her promise to become a creature like Lucania. In that final
moment as I drove a real dagger into my heart knowing it would do no real harm this time it was
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the pure anguish written all over Lukes face, the image she did not have to see when she had
committed this act of selfish betrayal, that did what I had feared. It broke me completely.
As soon as the curtain came down I rushed toward the back staircase that would lead me
toward my apartment without forcing me to encounter anyone along the way. When I closed the
door and I knew I was alone, that it was safe, I wept a flood of tears I couldnt release over the
past two hours. These were all moments in time I had no business touching. I knew that as the
sobs racked my body. If a soul carried the full weight of each lifes pain on the surface when it
was reborn everyone would be crushed by it before adulthood which is why we are born without
the knowledge at the forefront even though the soul remembers all. To get this close to lives long
passed in such a way, to reenact them like this, was sheer insanity. As my friends came in and
Luke took me into his arms I did fear that I might never be able to release this burden and move
forward once more.
I warned you that this would happen, didnt I? Is it clear to you now, Lucania, that I have
been right all along? I heard Angel seethe as if the two had been engaged in an ongoing debate
over the wisdom of doing the show all along.
Dont weep, sweet girl. When we go back out there we will be showing the world our most
important story and Beauty will finally get that happily ever after that the opera denied her,
remember? This is our story in your own words. For one night the people will see how it really
happened instead of hearing the story as it came from a strangers pen. Tonight is the night to
right all of the wrongs.
For whom? Hum? This was your purging, your redemption, not hers! Angel spat out.
Suddenly I realized that Luke was right. The opera had been difficult, perhaps even harder
than I had imagined, but this was different. The opera was Lukes tale, his chance to cleanse his
soul. But Beauty and the Beast was mine. I would go out on the stage once more and I would
relive the best and the worst moments of the last years of my mortal existence. And at the end
when the beast saves his Little Beauty I would be able to experience the magic, feel the love, and
have the closure that was denied me when the real moment came. For me, Angelus. This show,
this moment, it is for me. The lies will be sorted out, my truth will be told, and any ghosts not yet
put to rest from those years will be left behind at last after the curtain goes down. This part of the
night is mine.
It was Kila I wanted to sneak me backstage so no one would see the blood all over my dress
from the tears and the initial damage of the dagger. Before the rest of the cast was due back from
intermission she helped me out of the ruined costume and she left me there in my underthings
while she snuck into the dressing room of the young actresses to steal their bowl of water. When
she returned she carefully washed my face of all traces of the tears using water that was dirty
with stage makeup. She then helped me into the plain country girls dress that I would wear as I
reenacted the moment when I left my sister with my fathers corpse and forever altered my
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destiny. You are certain that you are fine to go on for this? She asked. I simply smiled as I
nodded to say I was. And you really intend to appear naked and chained to a wall? To think
your fear was that the city would be focused on vampires tonight.
I could only laugh as Luke came in and Kila walked out to take her place in the audience.
While he changed into his costume I sat at the desk taking note of the times that he looked at me
as if there was something he wanted to say. Finally when he was ready I kissed him and I silently
told him that I really was fine, that I had meant everything I said to Angelus. I also told him
telepathically that I wanted to introduce this show alone. Though he seemed surprised by my
change in demeanor he agreed to this without question.
When I walked out on the stage alone I was prepared for the crowd and I knew that I would
not freeze as they applauded me before I said a word. I want to thank you all again for coming
out tonight. As we promised in the adverts, tonights production of Beauty and the Beast is
completely unlike any other version of the tale that you will ever encounter on or off the stage.
This story is very special to me. As I am sure you all know, it is French, and as such, it reminds
me of home. But it also represents for me the magic of true love and the power in each person to
look past appearances in order to see the world and one another as we are instead of seeing only
what is before ones eyes. That is the true foundation of magic, seeing past what is obvious into
the unknown. So toss out what you think you know of the beauty and her beast and prepare
yourself for an experience you will not soon forget. I hope you all enjoy our production of La
Belle et la Bte.
Although the first scene was a bit painful it showed me that I had been correct in believing
that this part of the night would soothe me. A strange excitement filled me as I walked past paper
trees in a flurry of cloth strips meant to be snow toward the monsters castle and when I saw
the responses of the stagehands as I was stripped and put into position for the beginning of the
second scene, when I heard the collective gasp of the audience as the curtain came up and I was
revealed, I had to fight to keep the smile from my lips. But when I opened my eyes and screamed
and I saw Lucania come in as he had then, when I recreated that moment when I had seen him
for the first time, I felt the rest of the world disappear. From then on I felt again each moment of
joy and each heartbreak. The turret scene was almost impossible to get through without truly
weeping yet this time I knew the things I had only hoped before. He truly loved me, yes, and I
would return to find him waiting just as he had promised.
The Paris scenes were less in depth. They were only a transition into my return, after all. But
there was one part I did leave in despite Lukes strong objections. I would not budge on the
scene of my rape and the attempt on my life, the terror in that moment and the months that
followed, a social and moral problem that was often looked at as natural by the world. I needed
to relive the fear and know this time that I would win in the end. But I also needed the audience
to see it, to realize that it was human men who did this thing to the little beauty as so many
human men have done to so many little beauties without anyone crying out for justice, and to see
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that it was a horrible crime while also realizing that it was the creature who killed only the guilty
that was branded a beast as my tormentors walked free. Well, as far as the audience would know.
When the curtain came down after that I found Luke standing with his face turned away from
those who set up the scenery for our reunion. I knew he was hiding his tears so I took him in my
arms for as long as I could and I whispered, My dark prince, it is almost over. Soon your lover
will hurt no more. Using the sleeve of the gown I was about to change out of I wiped his tears
and kissed those lips that had so often been my salvation.
It was a thrill to relive those last nights that we spent together in my mortal life. The pretend
frolicking turned real very quickly, the laughter between us was as genuine as the love, but when
the townspeople came with their stage torches and I heard the gasps from the audience, when I
knew that they were on our side as we stood up to fight those who had come to destroy us, I felt
at last as if Lukes prediction had come true and the wrongs were indeed righted. As I lay dying
with Luke bent over me weeping I felt him take the paper flower from my hand as he slid
something in to take its place that I recognized instantly even with my eyes closed. I wasnt sure
how he had managed it but there was no doubt as he bit my neck that the rose made of our love,
our blood, was clutched in my fingers going through our transformation with me once more. My
face was already cleaned of all makeup leaving me as I usually looked and when I levitated up as
the crowd cheered believing it a stage trick and I opened my eyes, baring my real fangs, small as
they are, in a smile I was indeed unmasked. Luke took me into his arms and we marveled at the
magic rose, at the power of true love and its kiss, ending the show on this note of happily ever
after.
The crowd, many of whom were weeping as they clapped, went mad calling for encore after
encore until only Luke and I could stand to bow once more. The night had been a total success
and it was one hell of a way to say our temporary goodbye to a city that was as intertwined in our
love, our sorrow, and our inability to accept defeat as the one hundred and fifty year old rose still
clutched in my hand. In the end the shows had cost me nothing and they had given me so much.
But there was one more surprise in store for me before the night was over.
I could tell that the enormous group of humans had cleared out of the auditorium as Luke
led me forward toward the now empty stage in a dress that he had picked out and insisted I wear
without saying why. What the hell is going on? I want to go downstairs and lay in my bed with
a good bookin peace.
On the longest night of the year with our extended family gathered in such a large number?
Did you believe Angel would allow that? Luke questioned as he moved aside the curtain and
revealed this extended family sitting alone or gathered in clusters all around the room alongside
one mortal man who worked as a stagehand. I had actually forgotten, with everything else that
was going on, that it was the Winter Solstice, indeed the longest night, when, according to Kila,
vampires once gathered to celebrate the short hours of sunlight. But when Angel came strutting
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down the aisle in an outfit that was nearly decadent applauding as he came toward us I knew that
he had not forgotten this detail at all.
Well, my dear little sister, the show was absolutely magnificent. The opera was perfect
from the script to the performance and the play is a version of the famed La Belle et la Bte
that will be talked about for some time to come. I am very proud of you both. We all are. It is a
rarity, as you both know, that our family has a chance to come together like this from one end of
Europe to the next. With this being the night of the solstice, a holy day to so many Glancing
toward the mortal in the room, Angel looked back at me with a grin. Europeans once, it seems
as if this occasion is thrice as special. And so we all feel that it must be documented in a way that
is as rare, as unprecedented, as the rest of this night has been. Rise, my brothers and sisters. Let
us take our places.
Again I was afraid as I had been when the night began, paralyzed for a moment in fact, as so
many strange members of our kind came toward the stage. I would fight them all of course and I
would probably lose. In that brief moment what bothered me most was that I would die feeling
only the pain of betrayal instead of the loving embrace that I once relinquished my life in. But
this was no attack at all. No, it was far more bizarre than that. The stagehand had moved to the
center aisle in a position that would allow him perfect access to all of us through the lens of the
camera he was setting up under the direction of one of the vampires present. I would have liked
to have studied this particular camera as it was far more advanced than my own but there was no
time. Angel was soon directing me toward a place where I would stand with Cherise on one side
of me and Kila on the other. Directly behind us in a row stood Cook, Luke, and Angelus. As I
watched the way we were all being placed I realized Lucius was in the center of it all and while
there were many small stools he might have used to be a bit taller than everyone in the crowd, I
knew that when the time came he would simply use a small amount of levitation to do the trick.
Around him were his fledglings starting with the oldest and then there were those of us who
were second generation vampires, made by the direct fledglings of Lucius, standing in front of
our makers, our lovers, or our dearest friends. When we all stood completely still and smiled I
felt a bit of an ache in my heart for the absence of Mother and Rapunzel. I knew Angelus was
thinking of his lover even as he taunted Kila between each shot and so was Drake. While Lucius
seemed genuinely thrilled with all of his gathered descendants, his smile was sad when he looked
around at all of us. He loved each vampire as his own but there was only one to whom his soul
was tied, one who completely had his heart, and she was missing from the gathering as a result of
Aurelios deviance and Luciuss determination to stand by his choice on the side of what was
right. I had to admit that I thought of Mother as well when I saw us all there. She should have
been with us on this night of all nights. We should have long ago made our peace. Tintype after
tintype was taken that night, one for each of us gathered there, and after that was through the true
celebration of the night began.
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We went out, all of us, as one group until it was time to split up and hunt. Some went toward
the docks while others took to the air in order to seek victims outside of the city. When we had
our fill we all reunited in the center of town where we walked around enjoying the cool night as
those of us who had never met before learned more about one another and those of us who were
old friends caught up on the years we had missed. It seemed that Angel had overheard the talk of
management transition for the theater correctly. Or so Cherise informed me as she clung to my
arm in excitement while Kila rolled her eyes. Cherises innocent joy, Cooks sweet smile,
Angels humor, Kilas strength, and Lukes unwavering love were the elements of that night that
I knew I wanted to always carry with me and when dawn approached and all of us were forced to
go to our places of shelter away from the deadly rays these memories, in correlation with the
sense of justice I felt Luke and I had received at last, were the things I wanted to carry with me
when we left the city behind for the strange territory of Eastern Europe.
Many of the vampires that had descended on New Orleans for the show dispersed in the
nights that followed as the mortal world around us continued to talk of the night of magic,
mystery, and vampires with souls that had held so many enthralled for four strange hours. The
stories and reviews in the newspaper, the chatter on the streets, it all seemed as if it would
culminate in the New Years Eve celebration Kila had planned. Without adverts or invitations
this party that had started out as a small goodbye for the vampires and the people from the
theater had now become everybodys party from the fishermen that drank their pay away at our
favorite tavern to the very rich who were so enamored with Luke. I wasnt sure what it was about
the production that had made the people want to get close to us for a night before our departure
but I did know that after the war and the occupation, the troubles and the triumphs we had all
endured and savored this time around, the people needed this. So we would embrace them all.
And we would also embrace stage makeup for the night to blend in now that mortal eyes seemed
to be a bit more perceptive to the differences in us that they never seemed to notice before the
night of the show.
Please dont take this the wrong way, dearie, but if I have to hear one more person gush
over that damned performance at the theater I think I might start a blood bath. Kila whispered as
she sat in a chair beside of me.
We had cleared out the gallery from top to bottom storing all of Davids tools and Kilas
paintings in the basement dark room to make room for the guests and still it seemed as if there
wasnt enough space to breathe, metaphorically speaking. It was obvious from the start of the
evening that Kila and I were the only members of our group that were not in the mood to mingle.
As it turns out, she is better at putting together a party than she is at enjoying one and me? I was
just ready to move on. A blood bath would make a delightful addition to all of this talk about
vampires and the whispers about the things we might really know that I have heard over the last
few nights, wouldnt it? But since people are already whispering about us, neither of us can sail
out of here until tomorrow evening, and news of an event like mass slaughter at a vampire party
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might spread quickly through the country, I do ask for warning so I can leave quickly if that is
how you decide to end our night. I answered dryly.
Kila chuckled as each of us took a drink of wine from our elegant glasses. From where we sat
at a table that looked out over the entire room on the top floor, we could see those we loved as
they all did better socializing with the large crowd of people around us than we were doing.
Cinderella was waltzing divinely with a senator while Drake was talking shop with an older
woman who all but ran her husbands tavern. Cherise and Cook were dancing as they looked into
each others eyes as if they were in a bubble that never seemed to burst for them, the bubble
made by love that always seemed to ward off all bad things that might have intruded on their life
together. Lucius surprised us all at the start of the night by borrowing a violin and playing with
the large band we hired for the event while Luke and Angel stood together as the center of
attention, surrounded by women who loved Lukes work and were attracted to the air of mystery,
the sheer beauty, that each man possessed. Are you sad about going? Kila questioned,
watching the others as I was.
No. Im ready for it. When we arrived all of us needed to heal from the things we saw
during wartime. New Orleans needed to have the damned life breathed back into her before she
became a city like the others, panic stricken corpses that will soon be ghosts of days gone by.
And we each needed to find something to erase the scars and push us forward. Now were all on
our way. Ive made peace with the changes in the world and with the changes yet to come. Ive
made peace once more with my work for Morrigan so if she calls upon me for help in battle
again someday I can at least try to do as she asks. Luke seems to be happy, at peace with the past
finally. You had your success here and you found new magic. That seemed to brighten you up a
bit. I only wish that I could have hope that when you return to Scotland you will I said no
more. There was no point in it. She would not go back and claim her love at last. Besides, she
could hear my thoughts. She knew what it was that I wished.
Looking over at me she grinned. You are right. There isnt a way in hell that war or my
time here changed me enough to lead me toward Gavins door. I am not going to be the cause of
his destruction. But I did enjoy the years weve spent in New Orleans and as long as the two of
you remember to drop me a line now and then I will be quite content in my solitude, in the
protection of my hills, for many years to come. I have truly been happy here in the middle of all
of this, She swept her hand over the packed room in front of us, but now it is time that your
rose and I go back to the Highlands. Its time for me to simply be left on my own for a while. I
need it.
I could tell that she truly meant this and that she felt the same way I did, that our departure
couldnt come soon enough. While time had allowed me to enter large crowds at once without
the terrible discomfort I once experienced at Luciuss university and I had never lost my love of
city life that I developed in Paris long, long ago, I am still a vampire and all vampires must
detach eventually in order to survive. It is in our very nature as we are solitary creatures at heart.
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So when at last we went with those of our family who remained in the city to the docks so Kila
could get on her ship and go her way, Luke and I could get on our ship and go our way, and
those who would stay behind could see us off, I held tight to the precious tintype of all of us in
my pocket and I felt grateful for the countless other tintypes of the past few years that were
packed with our things. I said goodbye to those I love as they waved at us and I said goodbye to
the city that always seemed to find a way to bring us all together as I clung to Luke and smiled
with thoughts of our next big adventure dancing in my mind.

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Chapter 8
The journey to Europe by steam ship felt a bit like a vacation for me. While vampires cannot
become physically tired, we can become drained of energy and now that I was away from the
people, the excitement of New Orleans, it was obvious that the years spent there had been
absolutely exhausting. It felt almost like a honeymoon for Luke and me, those many weeks at
sea. After a month of constant fighting and harsh words thrown between us I welcomed the
tenderness in his touch and the loving smile he gave me once more.
When we docked in Germany I was quite surprised by Lukes suggestion that we purchase a
home as soon as we got to Dresden. At first I thought the idea was downright foolish, in fact, and
when I said as much, Luke became irritated with me. When we traveled through Asia and the
Middle East we had no temporary home somewhere in the area because that would have defeated
the purpose of wandering!
And look at the way that we were cut off from the world! Ships were redesigned to run on
steam, a locomotive was invented, the start of an innovative revolution occurred, and we had no
idea! The first Daguerreotype was taken over twenty years before we ever saw a tintype because
we were either traveling or hiding away. Things are changing too quickly, too drastically to
ignore the world for a decade or more as we did in the past. Dresden may not be London or Paris
but it is a city with human beings that will serve as a reflection for us of what is going on in the
world. If we purchase a house we have that base to tie us to the city. We will know that we are
not traveling untethered and we will have the reason we need to return to civilization now and
then. Besides, you insisted on bringing with us more luggage than I am willing to carry when it
would have made more sense to send it all back to Scotland with Kila. Your tintypes, your
mementoes, they will be safe if we leave them behind in such a house.
Because it made sense after he gave his explanation, I simply let him lead me onward. We
were quite familiar with Germany so we saw no reason to linger in the places we came to. Once
we were in Dresden it took only a few hours to procure a small house. Little thought was put into
the selection of it since its only purpose was serving as a link and a storage space. I looked at the
place only as I walked up the stairs to put my bags in a room. We didnt even stay a night. We
had what we had come for and we were off.
Without the luggage we were free to travel by air into the land now known as the Czech
Republic. When dawn came we were buried together deep in the earth in a part of the country
that was completely unfamiliar to me and the thought of that alone was enough to make me
smile.
For three decades we explored lands, cultures, that were untouched by the world around us.
Tintypes, gas lights, locomotives, these things meant absolutely nothing in so many places that
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we came to. Had it not been for Lukes idea to buy the house in Dresden his prediction about
missing the changes of the world would have certainly come to pass. But something about the
knowledge that the place existed, that my precious things were there, it made me remember that
there was a world much different from the small villages and the superstitious people we were
surrounded by. So now and then we would return to that house and we would write our letters to
Kila and Angel. We would take stock of what had happened while we were away. Then, when
we had our fill, we were off once more to spy on the last people on earth, it seemed, that truly
believed in us. Because of our ties with the house we learned about the first automobiles, the first
electric light, and the first moving picture. We went to places more advanced than Dresden to see
these incredible new inventions and we wrote our friends so we could all marvel at these
wonders but always the moment would come when I had had enough of watching the world
change. I would take Lukes hand and smile as if to say Its time to go and he would somehow
understand, though I didnt quite get it yet, that it was the balance between the old worlds and the
new that was keeping me sane as the entire world became a place I couldnt recognize for the
first time in my existence.
I was fascinated by the Gypsies and the Slavic peasant people that we encountered all over
Bulgaria, Romania, and Lithuania. Those in Romania had indeed kept the ancient stories of our
kind alive from the first nights of Luciuss existence when he terrorized those in the area and
they passed them on to the smallest children as a warning to keep them in their beds at night and
away from the woods. Many of the people we met looked at us initially as if they were trying to
decide whether we were human or monsters but the perception they had of our kind was much
different from the way we behaved so they almost always decided that we could be trusted. Luke
was always a hit with the children as he pulled golden coins from behind their ears and their
mothers loved him as well, especially when he played music to entertain the communities in the
cold, hard, months of winter when entertainment was most needed and hardest to find. I wasnt
accepted as easily as he was. It was always that way when we traveled, or so it seems. But soon I
would find common ground with the women when they would discover through whispered
conversations that I also practiced magic as old and forbidden as their own.
The common image of Gypsy magic is as accurate as the portrayal of the wicked witch on
her broom, as I soon discovered. While most of the girls and the women I met could certainly tell
ones fortune with tarot cards and even palmistry and I am sure the spells passed down through
the centuries probably contained a curse or two, the truth is the magic that many of the peasants
in that area practiced wasnt too different from the magic Kila taught me. Some of the people had
combined the old and the new, Pagan ways mixed in with Christian saints and teachings, while in
other places the belief system had little Christian influence at all. As we neared Turkey there
were those who had even found a way to combine magic with Islam and that was a surprise to
me, something I had never heard of before. For me it was fascinating to see this, to realize that
the most isolated places were the ones that had managed to keep their old ways clutched tighter
to the bosom of the culture. It was the same with all of the new inventions as it had once been
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with religion and traditions. What I took back with me to the cities after each trip into unknown
hamlets all over Eastern Europe in those times was the lesson that in order to keep what you
knew, you had to isolate yourself from all, as if it is impossible to blend the new ways with the
old. Toward the end of our travels this thought filled me with utter despair. I felt trapped between
two worlds unable to mix the best of each to create the world I needed as I had originally
dreamed of doing.
In 1905, after a little more than thirty years of this, Luke and I were in a small village in
Serbia when he put his arms around me and embraced me tightly. You know that we have to go
home eventually, Arianne. You cannot hide from the changes forever. It is one thing for us to be
aware of the new things and it is another for us to experience them. I want to drive an
automobile, I want to have electricity installed in our Scottish home, I want to hear a voice on a
telephone. I miss the world, my love, and I miss our friends. The longer we stay away the more
distant you seem. It isnt just those things I want that are dragging me back. I feel as if you are
slipping away into a sadness I can no longer understand.
I said nothing because there wasnt anything to say. I simply walked away toward our room
and I packed the one case of clothes I carried so we could make our return to the home we long
ago left behind. I expected that we would stop in Germany along the way and when we traveled
past the little house there I was almost frantic believing Luke intended to leave behind my
precious tintypes. But he assured me he planned to come back for them as soon as I was home
and it was then that I realized he feared if he did not get me back I would soon lose all reason, all
desire, to ever face the modern world again. Most likely he was right.
The evidence of the changes I was again afraid of was all over Ayr when we stopped to hunt
and investigate the place before we went north once more to Kilas house. Some of the buildings
in town had electric lights. This was such a shock to my system that I stood out on the street
staring at the tavern I had once known so well as if I had never seen it before in my life. The
standard mode of transportation was still a horse and the average home was still lit by candles
and gas light but electricity had come to this small village and I did see three automobiles while I
was trying to hunt. It was one thing to see these things in other places but to see that they had
reached my doorstep, so to speak, was overwhelming. Kila was genuinely happy to see us when
she opened the door but I came in silently only returning her hug half-heartedly. She and Luke
talked, they laughed, they told one the things their letters had left out about the three decades that
had passed since we last saw each other but I sat across from them on the new sofa she had
purchased at some point replacing the one she had had since the night I met her and I couldnt
bring myself to say anything. In my mind I was trying so hard to see where all of this was going
to take us and how it would affect us a century later. Humans did not have to ponder such things.
They had the freedom of knowing that the destruction they caused would cease to be their
problem when they drew their final breaths. Without a belief in reincarnation, without
immortality, it seemed to me like they believed they could do anything to the world we had to
live in without a care.
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Luke left me while he went to our house and I barely noticed he had gone. My mind was too
full of everything I had seen in the villages and the sight of the tavern lit up in the middle of the
night by lights that hurt my eyes. Did you piss off a Gypsy in your travels? If youve lost your
tongue I might have a spell to restore it. Kila teased with a grin. But her eyes were nearly blue,
a sign that she was worried.
What will all of this end up doing to us? Have you thought about it at all? The factories in
England make the damned air so black it poisons the children, our water is already becoming
unclean with the chemicals humans are dreaming up, the earth is now expected to hold the
weight of their automobiles and their locomotives, and now they can mimic the light of a
candles flame for hours on end each night using what? Coal? Fuel? These elements they are
mucking up? We need them for our magic, we need them for the future generations of humans
that will keep us fed and keep us entertained, and I highly doubt our dear Mother will be so
happy about Her own destruction. What is going to become of those of us who will never die
when the humans destroy the only home we have to live on? Have you bothered to consider
this? I asked in a quietly fierce tone as if all of this was her fault.
It is more than the destruction of the earth that has you troubled, love. I can hear it coming
from you so loud its like an ache in my mind. You dont want to let go of what you know. You
dont want to wake up in an unfamiliar world. But one way or the other, that is what happens in
immortality. The world you were born in was a different realm compared with the world when I
let out my first cry. In four hundred years we went from darkness to the age of reason. It was one
hell of a leap. Lucania has seen so many changes, so many new inventions, so many things that
rose and fell, that he gives even the most extreme invention only the most practical thought. I
have never seen anything like this Industrial Revolution, as theyve started calling it, before nor
did I think I ever would. But Luke says he has, in one form or another, and that there is nothing
to fear. We simply have to learn to adapt. I spend each night trying that and I believe I am getting
better at it. Electricity sparked the panic in me the way that the locomotive once did with you and
I havent recovered my wits just yet. I cannot get over the fact that I have to pile on face paints to
make me look alive before I can go into the tavern in Ayr. I cant forget the look on the faces of
the people when they saw me that first time under the light and I dont know that I ever will. But
I do know that you cannot run away to some poor little community in Bulgaria hoping you can
forever hide from this. All of the inventions will find their way there eventually. These
inventions will spread to the furthest corners of the map. Ive seen it. And you, my dear, are not
the cowardly sort. So stop behaving as if you are.
I leveled an icy glare at her. I was angry with her for calling me a coward but it was more
than that. When she said she saw a vision of what was to come I honestly thought she was lying
to me. Her visions were usually connected to Gods, sent by someone showing her something in
particular, and unless it was a warning I couldnt see any reason for a God or Goddess to send
visions of this strange new world and its future. There is already no place for witches, no place
for vampires, but all of the persecution in the world could not erase what we are. It also couldnt
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destroy those particles of energy you once described to me and the way that we can harness them
for magic. Our magic lies in nature and these inventions go completely against what is natural,
damn it! This is going to destroy what hundreds of years of fear and murder could not and you
tell me I have no choice but to adapt? Like hell! I just came from spending time with people who
have done what my ancestors could not. Theyve kept the old ways alive and they did it by
leaving the rest of the world behind. I can do the same and I will!
Kila literally slapped her hand to her forehead as if she couldnt take any more of my
babbling. I hate to ruin this martyred image you seem to have of the mates you met back there
but they are not isolated by choice, you damned fool. If it is the Gypsies you speak of, they are
where they are and they have what they have of the old ways because they have been chased out
of every home they ever tried to make. They were hunted, they were murdered, they were seen as
pests not worth the time it took to convert or alter. You seem to forget that those people were the
ancestors of my mother, the Slavs and the Gypsies. My ancestors ended up in Scotland when the
magic and their heritage came to light and the people they once ruled chased them out! Magic is
going absolutely nowhere. It is older than this planet and it exists everywhere in the universe.
Our ways were threatened far more by the Inquisition than they will be by this. Humans have the
luxury of abandoning the past for the future over and over again but we must survive. We keep
what works of the way things were once done and the new ways of being that might come up.
Ive done it often, Luke has done it far more, and we will show you as we go along. So snap the
hell out of this, will you? I have a book to show you that was published a few years ago. It
should amuse you.
The book was Dracula and while it was indeed amusing and a little insulting to read the way
that Mr. Stoker portrayed us in the book, it was a shock to see a fictional novel about vampires
like this. The writing was, as Kila so eloquently put it, fecking atrocious and I still believe it
was a product of binge drinking but at its core it was the first modern vampire novel regardless
of how terribly inaccurate it was. Luke had returned by the time I finished it and as I handed it
back to Kila I watched her hand it off to him. Why do you suppose he made Transylvania the
setting of the story?
Because he based the vampire on a former ruler there nicknamed Vlad the Impaler. In a
way I suppose I can understand it. The man appeared to have had one hell of a lust for blood,
figuratively speaking
He was attempting to make peace in a land that hadnt seen a peaceful moment in decades.
Luke chimed in. His methods were completely over the top. That is true. But his motivations
were simple enough. Still, it seems almost absurd to use him as an inspiration for a vampire.
Think of all the blood he wasted with that whole impaling bit. Vlad did well shedding it but he
was terribly wasteful with all of it once it was shed.
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In response to this, Kila and I each looked at my lover as if he had grown a second head.
When he just kept reading, we returned to our conversation. Clearly its a work of fiction
A highly inarticulate one at that. She added.
I suppose. And it isnt like this character is anything at all like us. So aside from the
possibility that there may be a rash of poorly written vampire novels that come up for the next
few years, it doesnt seem as if this is anything to worry about. I concluded.
Of course not. I just wanted to get you away from the subject of world destruction and that
book is good for nothing if not a mindless distraction. She replied with a put-on smile.
As Luke and I walked up the hill to our house I had to admit I felt more at ease. I knew that
Kila was right. I would have to find some way to accept all that was coming up to replace the
things I knew and I would have to find the blend between the parts of days gone by that I wished
to keep and the new things I needed to allow into my nightly life. The installation of electric in
our house was the first test of this. We stayed with Kila while humans came up to the secret
place where no one outside of the few vampires who knew about it had been in six hundred years
and they put in the poles and the wires, the fixtures and the bulbs. It took days. The hills around
us reverberated with the sounds of this work so that I heard it in my sleep and by the time the job
was done I no longer worried about the lights themselves. I was simply glad that the damned
workmen had gone. But when the time came for the three of us to go up and give this a try, Kila
and I remained outside while Luke went in and, after some time, figured out how to turn the
lights on. When we saw it we moved closer together. But Luke would not wait long for the two
of us and soon he insisted we come in.
Looking at my lover of two hundred years and my dearest friend under lights not nearly as
bright or as harsh as todays but much brighter than the candlelight and occasional gas lights I
was used to made me gasp. They looked like corpses! Kilas hair was like a living flame, Lukes
was too shiny to be real, their eyes were each like something from an old fable, and the
skinmy god, the skin! I couldnt look down to investigate my own hands like I wanted to. I
simply could not bring myself to do it. Is this what we look like to them? No wonder they think
we are monsters! How have we fooled them so long? I cried out in a whisper.
Smiling softly, Luke took me in his arms and I pressed my face to his chest. Everything was
too bright, too much. I think you are even more beautiful by electric light, sweet girl. He
announced in a reassuring way.
We all are. Thats the problem. We are too beautiful to be real, too white to be human!
Dont fret, dearie. I will show you the tricks with makeup that I use. Remember, Im almost
used to this already. It isnt as hard to pass as it seems right now. I swear to it. Kila insisted.
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I didnt believe her. I didnt believe any of this nor did I think I could ever get used to it but
in no time at all I did. I know now that this was Lukes point with having the electricity installed
in the first place. He knew that the more I was exposed to it the easier it would be for me to
adjust. It worked for Kila as well. She still refused to have it installed in her own home and she
swore she never would but her visits to see us got her over the trepidation she felt each time she
went to the tavern in town. She said it helped to have a place where she could work with the
makeup to blend it to a believable shade and indeed we did spend hours at a time doing just that
but I knew that she associated the light with that moment when everyone in town had turned to
look at her as if she were a beast and the hours spent before the mirror were her insurance that
this would never happen again.
For seven years we stayed in Scotland and we tasted all of the inventions around us. Luke
and Kila loved the freedom they felt behind the wheel of an automobile but I hated the goggles. I
was thrilled with the new innovations that were made to cameras while Kila complained that I
was wasting time that was the equivalent of a human life capturing images of inanimate objects.
And then there was the glorious invention that was the Gramophone. Like a couple of modern
teenage girls, Kila and I played any record we could find as loud as our machine would go even
though we were not crazy about most of the music we heard. This, to us, was the most amazing
thing humans had come up with yet. Luke begged to differ. Our constant playing of the thing so
annoyed him that he actually crushed the first one we had. It was pointless. In a weeks time we
had another at Kilas house and she threatened bluntly to test the old theories of vampire limb
regeneration on him if he laid one hand on it. Soon, however, he was able to get his revenge on
us in a way that is still driving me mad one hundred years later.
I awoke one night to see Kila attempting to help Luke pick out rather fancy clothes for me.
As I sat up to watch this spectacle I noticed that the two of them were dressed to kill themselves
and I mentally went over recent conversations in an attempt to figure out what the hell was going
on. I had to duck a shoe Luke tossed haphazardly on the bed and that was when he realized I was
awake. There is a movie house in Edinburgh and we are goingtonight. Its been there a year
already. Can you believe I didnt hear of it? Ive waited so long to see a moving picture. If we
had more time I would take the automobile but as it stands we will have to go by air. Arianne,
are you listening to me?
I was in the process of getting out of bed, not nearly as thrilled with this as he seemed to be.
We had heard much about these moving pictures and while I was sure it would be a fine way to
waste some time, I wasnt nearly as interested in this as Luke had been since he first learned of
them. Kila looked as if she shared my lack of enthusiasm. Still, this was the man who had spent a
small fortune to get me a camera the same night I discovered tintypes and he had always given
me what I wanted to sample of all the things popping up. So I smiled at him and replied, Yes,
love, Im listening.
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Well, then, what the hell are you waiting for? Get dressed! He replied impatiently,
gesturing toward the dress that had been picked out for me because he couldnt wait ten minutes
for me to dress myself.
As luck would have it, the film that was playing that night was a new one. This was really
irrelevant since none of us had ever seen any such thing before. But this particular moving
picture was called Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt and in little over an hour that silent film created
within Luke an addiction to anything that appears on a screen, an addiction he has even now, and
a strong urge to revisit the lands that housed his oldest memories. As I watched Helen Gardner
on the screen it was her style of acting that kept my eyes glued to her. I wanted to see the
differences, if there were any, between the way it was done in the movies and the way it was
done on a stage. In the days of silent films when so many on the screen had training in theater
and there was no dialog to convey the things the actors were trying to get across, no special
effects to hide a lack of talent, the styles were rather similar. I was about to comment on this
when I looked over and I saw Luke sitting with his hand clutched in a fist up to his mouth
watching the screen as if each scene were breaking his heart. I knew it wasnt the film he was
seeing but the sunlight, the times long dead that he had actually witnessed. Taking his free hand
in mine, I was afraid of the night when I would know firsthand what he was feeling in that
moment.
The three of us saw that film seven times in two weeks. Each time he made us dress as if we
were going to the finest theater in Paris even though we were the only people in the movie house
who did this and each time he watched the screen like the scenes were ripping out his still heart.
Each time when we came home I would try to talk to him, to get him to say to me the things that
were so heavy on his mind, and each time but the last I received some generic response about his
fascination with the invention itself as if the fact that the subject was an ancient Egyptian queen
that Hathor once alluded to him knowing had nothing to do with the multiple trips to Edinburgh.
However, the last time we went to see it I didnt get a chance to ask him what he was thinking.
As soon as we got home he started telling me not about Egypt and Cleopatra but about Crete and
Greece and the boyhood he seemed to suddenly recall with startling clarity. For the first time he
talked to me about his mortal life for his benefit alone without any motives concerning who I had
been and for the first time he did not refer to Calliope as if she and I were the same. I was
fighting sleep long after the sun came up outside to listen to him tell me about his early years that
seemed to be a strange combination of privilege and deprivation. He actually let his walls down
enough for me to read his mind and it was there that I saw the memories of the bastard who
raised him but it was his mother that he talked about. It was the first time I had heard anything
about her and suddenly he couldnt talk enough of the woman who had once made the
arrangements for the kidnapping that would take me to her sisters home with her grandchild safe
inside my womb. That is where my daughter was taken after Calliope died. I dont think I ever
told you that before. I had nearly forgotten, I think. She was safe, the baby. She was raised like a
princess by my mother.
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The following evening I woke up alone in the house. Kila was gone as well so I assumed
she and Luke had gone out together to hunt. With the makeup that had become familiar to me
painted on my face, I went to Ayr to hunt and I returned to find Luke making plans for a trip to
Greece. So thats that, is it? You see some stupid film and you decide to leave me so you can
wander Greece? Thank you very much for the advanced warning! I spat out when I overheard
he and Kila talking.
Turning around swiftly, Luke looked confused. What? No! I mean, yes, I am going to
Greece but you are coming as well. For the first time in my life, I miss it, Arianne. I am ready to
take you, to talk about the past, to show you the things that were important to me then. I have a
home that is outside of Athens that you will enjoy, I think. We leave tomorrow at seven. Take
nothing but your camera if you want it. Everything else will be provided for you when we
arrive.
What could I do but agree? He was so excited in that moment that I wouldnt have told him
no if he had suggested we stay a year in hell. It was as if the weight of his great age was lifted by
this plan to touch his past and I saw no reason to reject it. This good mood of his only increased
with the journey. Each night that brought us closer to Greece he became more and more like a
little boy on Christmas morning. He wouldnt tell me anymore stories the way he had when we
came back from the movies that last time because he insisted he was saving all of it for the trip
and I accepted this. He was in such a rush to get to Athens that we were nearly killed by sunlight
twice because he ignored the warnings from me and his own body concerning the approaching
dawn but even that I couldnt fault him for. I needed no map to tell me when we crossed the
border into Greece. The giddy grin of Lukes face and the strange feeling in the pit of my
stomach alerted me immediately to the fact that we had again come home even though it wasnt
mine anymore.

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Chapter 9
The house he took me to was indeed outside of Athens. In fact, I am not sure that it was in
Athens at all. It sat on a jutting cliff with the Sea of Crete directly below it and the grounds, the
place itself, was like something out of a dream. How old is this place? I questioned as we
walked inside. I was startled that a woman was there in simple clothes to greet us at the door and
while I wondered how he had managed to gather a household staff of any kind by letter (and to
whom had he sent such a letter?) I was too amazed by the house itself to give the details much
thought.
She is a caretaker. Her family shares this small place with usthe community, not the
house. They have always been here and someone in the family has cared for this house since I
bought it three thousand years ago.
Looking over at him, I was stunned to hear how long he had owned it. I dont know why. I
suppose it is one thing to know you spend your life with someone who has lived so long but it is
different to be standing in the foyer of living proof. I couldnt resist any longer. The marble that
the walls and the stairs were made of was too shiny and beautiful to do anything but touch it and
as I ran my hand up and down the balustrade I smiled at him. He looked at last as if he belonged
somewhere. I thought back to the night I met him, to my assessment of Cook and Luke himself
that they simply looked out of place with everything around them. But here he was home at last.
I can see why you bought it. This house is beautiful. How did you find it? Were you traveling
by sea and you mistook it for Olympus way up here?
I purchased the land after my aunt suggested it to me. I built the house later. It was
supposed to be the home I brought Calliope to after the wedding but we were both dead before
its completion. Swooping me off my feet suddenly, I laughed at this unexpected move.
Welcome home. He whispered against my lips.
No one could have guessed that the place had been vacant for centuries, maybe much longer.
It was indeed well kept from the gorgeous bed with the best linens on it that would have taken up
an entire room of a normal size to the immaculate modernized bathrooms. The tiles of blue and
white were actually shinning in the moonlight when Luke opened the balcony doors and when he
showed me a wardrobe full of gorgeous clothes someone had purchased for me I knew that he
had paid well to prepare all of this while we traveled. I know weve only just arrived but there is
a place I am anxious to show you. I cant tell you exactly what it is yet; only that well have to
go by air to reach it and it is many feet above sea level.
Something about the house, the ocean, and the look on his face had me feeling all of his
excitement at last. Changing into a dress of light cotton, I held on tight as he took me into the air
and directed me toward a place that wasnt physically far away though from the moment we
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arrived, it made me feel as if it were completely apart from the entire world. When we landed on
this very high mountain with the sea loud enough to drive me to distraction despite its distance
below, I became uneasy. It was beautiful, this place. It was like looking out at the world. But I
was confused. Well? What do you think? Luke asked.
This place is beautiful but of all the places we could have come to first, why did you bring
me here? I asked though my words were spoken softly. There was a soft breeze that suddenly
stirred and I found myself looking up feeling as if there was a force-field of energy that was
almost close enough to touch though it was impenetrable.
Draping an arm around my shoulders, Luke smiled and replied, This is where we all came
from. Vampires, I mean. At least it is according to Lucius and Mother. We are standing on the
spot where Lucius landed when he was thrown out of Olympus and just in front of us is the stairs
that lead to the Kingdom of the Gods. Only those born directly of deities, Gods and demi-Gods,
can see the entrance though. In my youth there was much debate over the location that leads to
our Gods because many believed that Crete was the land where Zeus was hidden from his father,
Cronus, and that he paid homage to the place that protected him later on by building the entrance
to Olympus there. The majority of the people, especially mainlanders like my mother, sneered at
this believing it absurd that anyone would believe Crete was so revered by our mightiest God
when the mainland was the center of our world.
I can actually recall true debates that ended in heated arguments between my mother and
step-father on this subject. Only once did I chime in. I was about twelve and while I knew my
mothers intellect far outweighed her husbands as did her argument, I sided with my father as I
often did then to win his approval. My mother, normally gentle toward me always, leveled a
scathing look at me as she seethed, truly seethed, Lucania, you are my son! Your people were
made by Prometheus and given fire by that great Titan stolen from Olympus itself! You are a
mainlander by blood with the legacy of the Gods love and wrath flowing inside of you and I will
see that you are taken to my people in Athenas city and raised there until manhood before I will
sit here and listen to you declare Crete the holy site of Olympuss entrance! Well, as it turns out,
my mother was correct both in her assumption about the entrance and in her words concerning
the legacy of divine wrath flowing through my veins, if not then, certainly now.
Silence fell around us at those words. I had long ago abandoned the idea that any experience,
any place on earth, could leave me in awe but this place was unlike any other. This place was an
entrance, a portal, to a different world. Suddenly I understood things that were unknown to me
moments before. Humans could not find the bottom of this staircase not because they no longer
believed because while that was true, few humans ever found it when all of Greece believed. No,
humans couldnt find it because they were looking for something physical, something that
existed on the earth plane. The land of the Gods did exist still and it could be accessed at this
point because this place was a bridge, if you will, between the plane of existence that is ours and
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another plane, one of so many, that could cross our path and was perhaps even superimposed on
it but was not the same.
To see the vast number of stairs between the world we knew and the plane the Greek Gods
occupied one had to look for energy instead of the solid. With my own eyes I did see them. I felt
the energy, the power. I could hear music unlike any other as well as laughter, quarrels, all of the
sounds one expects from a city even though my eyes could not see the end of this incredible set
of stairs. I could see, hear, and feel the entrance to Olympus, a place sought out by believers and
non-believers, humans and vampires alike, yet I made not one move toward it. I didnt belong
there. No one born of earth no matter what sort of creature it is belonged in Olympus. This
bridge existed because the Gods had to come and go as it is their job to watch, to guide, even to
interfere. But we had no reason, no right, to intrude on their home. They come to us when we
call. They never wanted us to come to them. I was filled with peace as I turned my back on the
unbelievable truth I had found and I walked forward until I couldnt feel the force anymore but I
could hear the waves hitting the shore. Luke asked no questions as he sat at my side. I planned to
tell him what I had seen but when I opened my mouth the words that came out were not my own
though they used my voice.
There was a time when Lucius spoke often of Olympus to his fledglings. What changed was
not a result of the deities he met in Egypt as youve always believed. While he did form
friendships there, even alliances, his family has not changed and no matter what troubles are
between them he loves them still. The reason he stopped speaking of his life before darkness was
because of what he was told by the Egyptian Gods. Osiris in particular had much to say. He
foresaw the betrayal by Aurelio. He told Lucius that Aurelio would wage war upon his own kind
but first he would create new myths using stories Lucius told. Olympus would become a place
where the human souls of the holy went after death, a place where only one God lived who is
much like Zeus but he is bitter because he has no Goddess. Hades would be left much the same
but the ruler of Hades in Aurelios tale would not be the father of your father. It would be Lucius
himself. The tale of how he was cast out of Olympus would become famous in these myths and
Lucius would be called a demon. Vampires would be linked to him so humans would not fear
vampires only as murderers but as vehicles, minions, of pure evil.
The command from your father that you take the blood of the evil would be left out in
these myths, the duality of male and female, good and evil, mankind and nature would be tipped
in a way that upsets necessary balance in the world by these stories, and Aurelio would be seen
as the child of the one true god, the savior of mankind, in order to ensure that all of this be done.
Aurelio wanted chaos. He wanted magic eradicated, the old ways and the power in them
diminished, and he wanted to be worshipped. In order to restore the balance Lucius and your
kind must do battle with Aurelio and win. In Revelations there was once a tale about the son of
God descending into Hades to fight the God of the Underworld and it was said that this messiah
won. This is more than something Aurelio made up. It is a threat, a plan for the future. Lucius
cannot kill Aurelio before the battle or chaos will destroy the world because much of the damage
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is done already and his death will not undo it until it is time. Instead of fighting and winning, you
would see Ragnarok. This is why Lucius lets him live.
In terms of centuries, the time for battle is near. A cycle will end on the first day of winter
in exactly one hundred years time. Planets will align in a way the world has not seen in ten
millennia and humans will panic believing the end of the world is near. The witch will have a
vision of her enemy and it is she who will help the vampires take the first steps toward war.
Follow her. Though it seems as if Lucius was the beginning of the battle, the witch will be the
end. Everyone must do their part but it is in her hands whether the vampires win or fall. She
knows this. She has known it all along.
I know what was said at the base of Mt. Olympus that night at that place where earth, air,
and water meet only because Lucania remembered each word of it and he recorded it all in a
message for Kila as soon as we returned to the beautiful villa that was our Grecian home. Even
now I have no memory beyond the first word I said and that frightening feeling that my body had
been invaded by a force more powerful than anything on earth. My next memory is of lying in
our grand bed watching Luke as he wrote furiously at our desk. The doors to the balcony were
opened letting in the ocean breeze, the scent of flowers overpowered the scent of filth and decay
in a way one never experienced in the cities of those times, and I was gloriously exhausted
though dawn was still hours away. I was also completely at peace and there was a strange joy in
my heart. In that moment my lapse of memory did not seem odd at all. I knew I had been a
vassal for Athena, a Goddess I once worshipped lifetimes ago in a temple so grand it withstood
time, though I had no idea what it meant, this knowledge, and I didnt care. There was only one
thing I wanted, one need I had. Lucania, my love, come to bed. Put down your pen. I have
devised a better plan for those hands of yours.
Looking up at me, he smiled. I am nearly finished, sweet girl. Give me just a few moments
more.
I studied him as I waited willing my eyes to stay open until his work was done and he lay at
my side. I had called out to him out of physical desire but the longer I watched him the more I
felt the purest side of love well up in me. It wasnt sex I wanted when at last he came but rather
those arms of his that would lift the earth to get to me even as they remained tender enough to
enfold me in the warmest embrace. I want to go again to Egypt. Its all I can think of tonight
besides our love. Its like the Goddess who claimed me once is calling me back again.
Kissing my head that lay on his chest, he said nothing at first and I was nearly sleeping when
he replied, I am afraid we cannot return. Not yet. Egypt is fighting her battles and soon well
fight our own. If we all win, us in our struggles and Egypt in hers, of course we will return. We
have thanks to give to those who guard her.
Yes. I mumbled, knowing everything for a moment before it slipped away and sleep
overcame me.
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In the years that followed Luke changed before my eyes. It was as if coming to Greece had
put him in touch with his long lost mortality. He refused to take to the air insisting that we walk
to the many sites he wanted to show me. He rarely fed. Yet the joy lit up his eyes night after
night leading me to believe that all was well despite the changes. We traveled to amazing places.
Athenas temple in the center of Athens was a place that filled me with awe as we stood inside.
Something within me could not believe it had survived the years and that tiny piece of me that
once worshipped there saw this as proof that the great Goddess of war and wisdom ruled the city
still. When we went to a cave that was said to lead to Hades I felt nothing and I declared that this
was nonsense, that Hades, like Olympus, was a place that existed somewhere beyond our world.
Besides, who the hell would want to visit the land of the dead? I made no attempt to see if the
entrance to the underworld was in fact at this spot the way I had seen the stairs to Olympus
because I knew all too well that Hades hated vampires who carried souls he could not have
though he felt he deserved them. If he had his way he would certainly destroy his only son, the
maker of us all, and I had no desire to get close to him. So we moved on. Eventually we found
ourselves in Crete at the exact location where Luke had lived. Though his family home was long
gone we could both see it as it once was in our minds. He took me to the fields were he once
played in the sunshine and we visited the site where his birth fathers grand castle once sat. As
we lay in the grass there looking up at the stars he told me how his birth father, the king, would
have him over for a meal once a week and he would hire musicians to come and play while they
ate. It was here, he said, that he first picked up instruments and learned the art of music. His birth
father nurtured his talent though no one else paid it any mind.
We spent many nights inside our marble paradise sitting on the balcony listening to the sea
below with the scent of flowers filling me with happiness. I truly loved it there. I also loved the
side of Luke that I saw in Greece. While we sat taking in the night he would tell me stories of
games he had played, competitions he won and the times when he lost, the religious ceremonies
he participated in and the festivals he so loved. As he held my hand he told me how Calliope
would sneak away from her work to watch him no matter what punishment she faced when she
returned to his fathers home. While his mother always reminded him that he had a legacy of
greatness to live up to, it was Calliope who inspired him to be great. She would have loved him
if he had been a simple peasant, he declared, and in the face of great adversity it was she who
always stayed by his side to encourage him to go on even when he was unsure what he was
moving toward. He was not always faithful, he was not always good, but he always knew that
without her, life had no meaning. It was strange to hear these stories. It warmed my heart but at
the same time it made me feel like when he looked at me he did not see me at all but rather the
ghost of a girl I had been long ago. And I hated that. So I would steer him toward his stories of
youth, before he saw the niece of his caretaker bringing fruit to his fathers kitchen and his
destiny became entwined with hers.
In all of this beauty and all of this happiness I did not really take note of the way that Luke
was leaning toward madness. I noticed the small things like his refusal to fly and the drastic
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decrease in feeding but I did not think that this was something I had to worry about. Then one
night when I was getting ready to leave so I might hunt I asked him to come along and he looked
at me in the strangest way. While you are in the city will you see if a market is open? We have
no cheese in this house, not a single crust of bread. All of the money we have and not one apple
sits in our kitchen. He laughed in a way that chilled my blood. What sort of people are we to
have not one crust of bread? Kissing me on the head, he wished me luck in town and I walked
away feeling as if I had just been buried under an avalanche.
Was it even possible, I wondered, for a vampire to forget that they are no longer human,
especially after three thousand years of being what they are? How could that happen? And yet
when I thought about the way he had gradually changed over the last eight years I realized that
all of the evidence pointed to the fact that he had slowly seemed to do just that. As I sunk my
teeth into a murderer from Turkey I tried to remember the last time he had consumed blood. I
could not recall because it had been so long. When I stopped to think of it I realized that each
night he seemed whiter, smaller, as if he were slowly starting to sink into himself. Would instinct
not tell him to end his strange fast? How could any of this be true? Of course I did not look for a
market. I was afraid if I brought food into the house he would actually try to eat it and from what
I have heard about that, the consequences of such an action would not be pleasant for either of
us. And when I returned empty handed he became absolutely furious, throwing furniture around
in the grand sitting room while he raged about my inadequate service. It was as if his mind had
gone back to the days when I was his familys servant and he could play in the sun. Luke, my
love, look at me I tried to touch him, to get him to listen to me, but he would not. He simply
complained about the great hunger inside of him and my desire to starve him to death for his
infidelity toward me. This was sheer madness!
Just before dawn when he was too weak from the approaching sun and the lack of blood I
was able to literally force blood from my wrist down his throat. My god, how he fought against
me over that! But as soon as the liquid hit his tongue he couldnt get enough of it. I actually
feared he would drain me dry as I tried to pull away and he refused to let go. Finally I whispered
desperately, Lucania, you will end me! Stop! and the hungry beast inside of him released me.
He seemed frightened as he lay in my arms and while he slept I cried out to Kila who was
thousands of miles away telling her that I needed her to come and help me save him.
Three nights later she arrived. By that time he was starting to look like a monster from a
fairytale though he had started to kill the farm animals that belonged to the caretakers of the
house, an act that raised much suspicion because his weak state prevented the wounds from
healing. The people were afraid of us. They had started to talk. And all I could think of was that
night in France when the people came to kill the beast and they ended Beauty instead. So I was
grateful when Kila came and she immediately started the fight that eventually saved Luke from
his own delusions. The screams between them could be heard all through the house and the
destruction of all the beautiful things in the house as a result of Lukes rage only added to the
suspicion of the people that the man they worked for was no man at all. We had to leave one way
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or another. Finally Kila came to me, a mess of fury and exasperation, and she asked, How long
has it been since hes fed, Arianne? How long did you allow this madness to go on before you
called to me?
The fact that she was clearly blaming me for all of this should have enraged me but it did
not. I had no time to fight with her when Lukes existence was at stake. The morning before she
arrived he fought his natural instinct to sleep and he very nearly killed us both when he decided
he wanted to open the doors to the balcony so he could see the sunrise. No, there was no time to
waste on petty bickering. From a human? Its been months.
So his usual strength is gone at this point? Well, dear, there is only one way to handle this
then. You and I are going to physically carry him from this place. I have investigated everything
to make sure no magic was at work, no outside forces influenced this, and I have determined that
it has to be this place. It has triggered something inside of him that can only be fought if he is
away from it. He will fight us like hell. But between your strength and my own we can
overpower him. Is there anything you must take with you?
No. I whispered. I did not want to do this. I did not want to physically fight him in order to
get him to leave. But Kila had spent hours trying to reason with him and I had spent nights doing
the same only to have him berate me and dismiss each word I said. As she said, this was the only
way.
Together we charged him and as we suspected, he fought like hell against us. He had never
gone at me to hurt me before and while the wounds healed immediately and I knew that he was
not himself when he hit me, bit me, scratched me, it still broke my heart that he did it. It also hurt
me that I had to restrain him while Kila and I took him in the air. He would have fallen had we
not held tight to him because he was that determined not to do this thing that was usually so
natural to him. But when dawn came and the three of us were safe in a room in Italy he calmed
down and demanded he sleep in my arms. It had been a very strange trip, our years spent in that
Grecian palace by the sea, and though I knew we could never return and I was alarmed by what it
had done to Luke, I did not regret it. He was himself when he awoke and his apologies were so
sincere, so passionate, that neither Kila nor I could hold against him the things he had done as
Lucania, the son of a king, a lord, and a woman who believed she was descended from the Gods.
He had purged his soul at last of those times he could not bear to touch before and as we traveled
slowly toward Scotland he seemed lighter somehow, more at ease than he had ever been before.
So no, I did not regret those years but I also did not wish to ever repeat them.

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Chapter 10
We had only just settled in to our home in Scotland when we received a letter from Angel
that again put us on the move. He said very little in it but he made it clear that something had
happened in New Orleans and that he would meet us in the city as soon as we could come. Kila,
who had rarely left the Highlands since she returned from New Orleans fifty years earlier,
announced immediately that she was coming along. While she wouldnt come out and admit it, I
believe she had fallen in love with the city the last time she was there and she had missed it as I
always did. So we packed up some clothes and I brought with me my camera and we set out
toward the only city in the world that I saw as my home.
What the hell has happened? I whispered as soon as our train dropped us at the depot. This
was not the place I had left, the child of mine that I had watched over for two centuries. Cars
were rushing here and there scaring the horses at times; the lights, while still shaped like the old
gas lights, were clearly electric, and as we walked toward the Quarter I saw that establishments
here and there with their doors open to the night had public telephones installed.
You should have known that it would change, my love. Are you really so surprised? Luke
replied, steering me toward our theater. The damned place had gone to hell. The paint was
chipping off the walls inside and out, the floors were an absolute disaster, and though it was a
Saturday night and the auditorium should have been full, no one was inside except for a man
who had clearly had one too many drinks. I wanted to scream when I realized he was the
manager of the place. I wanted to berate Luke for always acting as if he was keeping an eye on
our buildings here when clearly he knew no more about what went on when we were away than I
did.
I had to walk outside. I couldnt stand to look at the place or hear Luke talk to this
incompetent ass like all was well and no mistakes were made. Kila and I stood in silence
watching the huge crowds of people walking on either side of the street and when someone
touched my shoulder, I jumped. Rounding like a fighter, I couldnt even muster a smile when I
saw Angel. It was more than the changes, more than the miserable shape of my theater, there was
something in the air, a dark feeling that was hovering over the city like a cloud. Why do I feel
as if the devil has come to New Orleans? I asked him. He had my answers. The desperate tone
of his letter said as much.
Putting an arm around my waist he replied, There was a flood last month. Nothing like the
one a century ago but the river nearly came in.
Damn it, Angel, this city has seen floods. Its seen fire. Never, not even when that self-
righteous bastard of a general was holding everyone under his fist, have I come in and felt such
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darkness. Yet I am looking around and the people seem fine. Look at them! They are enjoying
the night around here as they always have. So what is it that Im missing?
A light rain started to fall and I stretched my hand out to touch it because I needed to feel
anything besides this terrible knowledge that something was wrong with my people. If you can
find it inside yourself to come back in, Ill tell you everything I know. It isnt safe to talk out
here. Not about this. Kila and I exchanged glances at that. Not safe, huh? Not safe for whom?
But if I wanted to know the story it seemed I would have to follow Angel. He gestured to Luke,
who was still engaged in what must have been riveting conversation with the drunken man, and
politely he excused himself to join us as we went below to our apartment. Ive cleaned up a bit
down here since I arrived. If you had seen the shape I found the rooms in you would march back
upstairs and kill that manager of yours for sure. I see now why Luke is a snob about this place
and those who run it. Dont leave it in mortal hands again. The others chuckled at this but I
couldnt believe my eyes as I entered the sitting room and I saw nothing funny about any of this.
Where the hell is my furniture? What is this shit? I asked, gesturing toward the new sofa
and chairs, the modern tables, and the lamps positioned all over the room. I hadnt paid attention
to the fact that the upper floor was clearly lit up by electric bulbs. I had expected that. But I
didnt think the same would have been done down here and I didnt like it. I didnt like any of
this one fucking bit!
I had to replace everything. There was nothing left down here when I came, not so much as
a bedpost or a table leg. Everything you once owned has been stolen through the years. The locks
were broken. I suppose the magic in them was weakened by the centuries. The door had to be
replaced with one I found that is heavier and not as easy to bust down. I tried to get things I
thought you would like. If it doesnt suit your taste I can show you the furniture store
I shut my eyes against the sight of the room and the ache in my heart. This was about more
than furniture. These rooms were never supposed to change. They were my guarantee that I
could have a place that time couldnt touch. And now that was ruined and I was left with the
feeling that we were also on the brink of losing the hope of the entire city as well. The things
are beautiful. Thank you for everything youve done. Now, what the hell is going on around
here? I asked as I took a seat, determined to like the sofa no matter what.
Kila said the two of you have been lost in the ancient world until rather recently so I doubt
youve heard that the foolish government of this country officially outlawed alcohol in January.
The public, mostly women who are tired of being beaten each time their drunk husbands drag
their sorry carcasses through the door after a night out with friends, believe that making alcohol
illegal will stop the spread of alcoholism. Of course that is not whats happening, as you can
probably imagine. What this move has done is open up a new world to criminals who are using it
as a platform to get them in the door with local government. Many bootleggers, as those
transporting homemade alcohol are called, are harmless. They are using the transportation of
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illegal booze as an opportunity to earn more money than they would have made in a lifetime in
their usual lines of work and to them, the danger of being caught or even being killed is worth it.
They are not our problem. I see no reason not to leave them to it. The problem is that over the
last few months criminals have taken over everything in this city, dangerous men. They are
running the mayors office, they are killing prostitutes who refuse to pay them the tax they made
up, and they are terrifying the people in New Orleans. No human who can stop them is going to
because they are all working together and those who would stop them cannot. This is our city.
Youve helped build it up, youve watched it grow, and weve all put more into it than any city
before it. We kept the streets clean once, remember? Now it is up to us to do it again.
I sat back to take all of this in. He was right about one thing. There was no way in hell I
was going to just stand there and allow out of town bastards to swoop in and terrorize the people
I adored. There was also no way I would allow those in office who are supposed to protect the
people around them to allow such terror to occur. But what were we going to do? If I had my
way, I would have you give me a list of each person involved in this and I would end them all by
morning. But we cant do things that way. And if you kill one in a situation like this there will be
two more here by the time church services let out tomorrow to take his place. So how are we
going to go about this?
Smiling a devilish smile, Angel sat back in his chair and he crossed one leg over the other.
In the old days when we brought order to the city, we had to create the law where there was
none. We had to take out those who posed a threat to everybody around them and we acted like
authorities. That wont work this time. If we want to stop this, we have to be the alternative in
their game. Right now these men control everything. They control the booze, the sex, the
gambling, every bit of illegal recreation to be had here. That is where their power comes from. I
think weve all been around long enough to know that humans will engage in all of this
regardless of what the law says and if there is only one place to go for it, they will go there. But
if there is another option, one that is less dangerous, one that may even offer them protection
from harm, of course they will support that option instead. We have to be that option. We have to
get our own bootleggers, serve our own alcohol, make alliances with our own houses of ill
repute, and run our own gambling tables. We have to take over the red light district. This is how
we will take the power out of their hands. And when they come after us, and they will come after
us, we will take care of them. Eventually those in charge will stop sending for replacements
when their men are found dead in the streets. Eventually they will see that they were idiotic to
think for a moment that they could ever control what is ours.
I had to laugh. He was right and I couldnt object to his idea but the thought of it all was
hilarious to me. He wanted the four of us to run, yes, run the entire underground red light district
and he talked about it with the grin of a naughty teenager. I had no idea he had such an
adventurous spirit inside of him. So, you want me to turn my beloved high class theater into a
whore house, a bar, and a gambling den? That is your plan?
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Of course not. Restore the theater as a theater. It would be insane to have all of that here
where we sleep and the city needs some culture once more. The art and the music are absolutely
booming right now. Youll be thrilled with it. But the theater business could use your special
touch. I advise adding some Vaudeville shows to the bill as they are still popular. This isnt the
only building you own, Arianne. I doubt you have any idea how much of the Quarter does have a
deed with your name on it. I have another building in mind for this. I also have a list of addresses
that are being terrorized as we speak by these bastards from New York and St. Louis. In the next
few nights I figure we will split up and see the owners about a change in silent partners. I have a
car but well need another. We have to be able to get away in a hurry if it comes to that
I dont drive. Kila and Luke think its all the rage but Im not interested. I replied, getting
that out on the table.
Interested or not, you are going to learn. Now, there is one more thing we have to discuss.
This theater has a shrine to the two of you. It is in the auditorium and most people in the city
have seen it at some point or another. It was constructed soon after we left when Cook and
Cherise were running the place. A local painter that came often to see your shows painted a
perfect likeness of the two of you and you were nicknamed The Friendly Vampires of New
Orleans. Stories were woven about you and the stories became local legends until your names
were as famous as Marie Laveaus. Practitioners of Voodoo around here even petitioned the two
of you in magic for a while. So this time has to be different from the others. You cannot use your
names and you must pretend to be brother and sister. In order to make it all believable well tell
the people I am Ariannes husband and Kila is Lukes wife. In public the two of you cant touch.
Not one kiss. You cant hold hands or act too intimate. You are the grandchildren of Luke and
Arianne and youve come from Europe with your spouses to take up the old family business.
That is the story. Is everyone in?
We all agreed. Of course we did. We had no choice. And that was how Luke and I became
Lou and Annie. I hated the name, I hated the situation, and I hated that I had been too late to stop
any of this from happening in the first place. But as I walked the streets alone later that night I
caught a sound coming from a bar a few blocks over that made me feel as if all of this wouldnt
be as bad as I imagined. Walking in, I saw a room full of people drinking illegal liquor while a
band played the first jazz song I had ever heard. I had never listened to anything like it and when
the tune ended and a woman got up to sing a bawdy song about shaving it dry, the blues, I was
later told, I was in love with all of it. I would go along with this plan because I needed to do it to
protect the people but if I had to own a place where the drinks flowed, the prostitutes did their
business, and the cards were always laid, I wanted this too. I wanted to dance. I wanted the blues
and I wanted jazz. Soon enough the youth of the country from coast to coast would make it clear
that they felt the same way.
The new things we were into took some getting used to. Angel, or Arty as the people he had
met so far knew him, took us on a river road the night after we arrived to teach me to drive. I
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almost crashed his precious fucking car on purpose but I knew it wouldnt get him to leave me be
about it so I reluctantly learned instead. On the way back into town he finally told me why this
had been so important. Until we got this operation of ours up and running we were going to have
to bootleg for ourselves. He was in the process of finding out what he needed to know to start but
in the meantime he and Luke agreed on a building to set it all up in, the one that had served as
Davids portrait studio and Kilas gallery fifty years earlier. The basement would be converted
into the bar and a lock charmed by Kila would be put on the door so when we got busted, as
Arty put it, the cops wouldnt be able to get in and retrieve the proof on us. In addition to the
restoration of the theater and the conversion of the abandoned building we also had to get used to
our new identities. Because the tales of Luke and me had included Kila, her name had to change
as well. She refused outright at first before agreeing to become Karen and old Arty insisted we
call each other by our false names even when we were alone after it was proven time and again
that I did not respond to the name Annie when it was thrown at me unexpectedly. Of all the
things I had done for New Orleans, this seemed the most extreme but aside from the annoyances
that came with it, it was also seemed like the most exciting.
One night Kila and I went in search of the things she needed for her lock spell after Angel
told us that there were secret places all over the city where one could find the things needed for
magic. He directed us toward a market owned by a black couple and told us that when we
walked inside we were to find the wife and say only to her, My Marraine needs an alligator
pear. Or my godmother needs an avocado. This was the code that would prompt her to take us
into her back room where she kept a variety of fruits and vegetables alongside all of the magic
supplies. Never had the two of us gone into a shop of sorts for things like this and we were
absolutely amazed that we were about to. It seemed to frighten Kila a little and why not? This
was the first time since she was nearly burned alive for witchcraft that she had ever been so close
to public with who she was. But when we walked in and we gave the code to the woman she
looked us up and down only briefly before leading us past a series of curtains and down a
corridor that led into a room that clearly had everything we were needing. Yall from out of
town. Howd you hear bout me?
Quickly picking up the things she needed, Kila glanced up for a moment. She was in a hurry
to leave. That was clear. I wanted to assure her that this was New Orleans and no self-righteous
bastard would ever say a word against magic in this city, that she was safe, but with all the things
changing I couldnt completely be sure of that until we again had control of things. A friend
told us. Were practitioners of the old ways in Europe and we will keep your secret so long as
you keep ours. This is ArAnnie and I am Karen. Her family has roots here. Putting the things
on the counter, we were patient as the woman added up the total on a notepad. Giving her the
money she asked for, Kila smiled. You will probably see us often in the next few years. Im
happy to have met you. Is there some way I can get out of here without anyone watching me
go?
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We were led out a back door and Kila insisted we take to the air to prevent anyone seeing us
with the few things we couldnt carry in our pockets. When we got back to the apartment she
refused to indulge me as I went on and on about how amazing it had been to be in that magic
shop and how proud I was of the people in the city for keeping their new magic alive even if it
was still a well-known secret. As soon as she had the spell finished and we had tested the lock to
be sure, we went and installed it and then I insisted she follow me to the jazz bar I had found on
our first night back. I wanted her to hear this new music, see the strange new dances, and in no
time we were up with the humans watching them to learn the steps. One song after another
played as we danced and laughed and when the place closed up we walked out into the cool night
still smiling. However, we both stopped immediately when we heard two men in the alley beside
the bar talking about a Speakeasy in St. Louis that was supplying the gang, as they called their
group, with the best liquor in the country. We pulled from their minds the name of the guy
running it, the code word used for the week to get into it, and directions so clear it was nothing
when we got home for Kila to draw up a map even though she had never been to Missouri. When
the guys came back we were ready for them looking quite like the cats who ate the canary. So
how did the night go, my darling husband? Did you two have luck finding what were looking
for? Kila asked Luke sarcastically.
We found painters to work here on the restoration and we convinced two Madams, elderly
sisters they are, over on Canal Street to come to us with their troubles as soon as we give them
word that our operation is open. We also got word from a few vampires in London and a few in
France that they will come to help with security for these places were promising to protect. But
about a supplier? No. Arty here is not nearly as well connected as he made it seem when we
came. Luke declared, clearly irritated. He then kissed me deeply for the first time all damned
night. The one benefit to all of this brother-sister crap was that when the charade was over for the
morning, he touched me like he hadnt seen me in a year.
Yes, Lucania, because it is completely my fault that the kid who agreed to hook me up
with the people I need was shot down while I was trying to teach your sister to drive. For that
alone I should divorce her! Women are the bane of a mans existence! Angel declared in a way
that made me want to applaud his performance. It was almost scary how quickly he had adapted
both to our game and to the slang and attitudes of the humans around us.
Well, fret not, poor dears. Luckily for you, your women have better ears than you lot have.
It comes with actually paying attention on the street. Here. Shoving the map and the
information toward Angel, she sat back looking satisfied when he passed it on to Luke.
And you are sure that this is accurate? Why would two people in an alley say things like
this out loud? They are staying low rather well to be so stupid. Luke declared.
They didnt say it out loud, you damned fool. They talked about the quality of liquor, we
heard them while we were coming out of the bar, and we probed to get the rest. You two
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detectives could have easily done the same at some point if you had stopped long enough to pay
attention. Talk about the bane of ones existence
It was decided that Kila and I would make the first run so Luke and Angel could finish up
the den of excess we were about to open. First, though, Angel decided we had to learn to shoot a
gun. This seemed incredibly stupid to me but he insisted that even though we were safe from
anyone we encountered along the way, the product, as he called the booze, was not. If anyone
tried to rob us for our cash or our cargo we were to shoot them. Plain and simple. So back out on
the river road we went and for hours Kila and I bitched as we shot at trees. Once I shot Luke
entirely on purpose just to get him to shut up as he literally yelled at me for closing one eye
while I aimed. I proved the point that I could shoot straight enough even with one eye closed, he
was too stunned for fury, and because I hit right where I was aiming it was decided that the
lesson was over.
The night that we were leaving I woke up and found a pair of trousers and a white dress
shirt that belonged to Luke sitting at the end of the bed. The trousers were too small in the length
and the waist to belong to the men around me and when I took them into the sitting room to ask
where they came from I saw Kila sitting on the sofa drinking a disgusting bootlegged beer with
one pant-covered leg draped over another. I went to see our competition tonight. I was
pretending to be interested in a job but this bastard named Ron would have none of it. I sincerely
hope someone takes a tommy gun to his arse soon because the idea of sharing sidewalks with a
prick like that makes my skin crawl. Anyway, while I was playing the dumb broad part I
confirmed what we heard and I got the new code word. Where would we be if humans learned to
cloak their minds? Out of operation, thats where. Why are you just standing there? Get dressed
and come on!
You dont really think I am wearing these, do you? I dont wear trousers. I never have and
I dont intend to start. I said firmly. I meant it. Kila had worn them in the past and she seemed
comfortable in them now but this wasnt my style. It wasnt me at all.
Listen, love, we are about to enter a new era. More importantly, tonight we are going on an
errand that requires we be taken seriously by men like old Ron who see us as men have always
seen usas weak little pieces of meat. You want them to believe we are who we say we are and
that we are running liquor across state lines, put the damned trousers on. If you go into this place
dressed like you usually dress they will think we are rats and they will start a scene which will
end in a blood bath. Do you want to kill innocent people over this? I dont.
Whatever she had seen when she met with this Ron character, whatever she had heard, it
was obvious she knew things I did not. So with her help I put on the first pair of pants I had ever
worn in my life and Lukes white shirt. I painted my face and I let her pull my hair up with
combs as her hair had been pulled up. When she handed me a pair of boots I put them on feeling
a strange sense of power come over me as I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. Luke
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came in and I could see his face reflected behind me but I couldnt read what he was thinking.
You look beautiful. My shirt suits you. He said finally and I grinned. I couldnt help but notice
that there was even a change in my walk as we made our way out to the car. I want the two of
you to be careful. If the cops pick you up, get out and flee as soon as you can. Dont wait around.
Do your best to avoid shedding any blood unless you are hungry but dont hesitate to pull that
trigger if you have to. Arianne, you have no excuse for shooting anything less than straight.
Weve all seen your handiwork. Should you run into any trouble at all, call for us. Well hear
you. Hugging me to him, Luke whispered, I will always hear you. As he kissed me lightly on
the cheek. He looked so afraid but there was no way to assure him that all would be fine when I
myself wasnt sure of it.
As soon as we got on the road I had to admit that I felt a sense of freedom unlike anything
before it. Dressed like a man, singing songs we had picked up in the bars around town, keeping
my pistol between my legs, I felt invincible in a way that immortality itself had never made me
feel. When I mentioned this to Kila it led to a discussion on the way things in society were
changing. Women wearing trousers and finally being given the right to vote in America just a
month before, people feeling brave enough to sell magic in the back of common food markets,
black people making music that was by far the best sound available at the time, it was all
amazing. Had technology somehow got the ball rolling for enlightenment? Science was
expanding as well, trying to explain away so many things that people used as excuses to hate but
science as it pertained to what the public was told could be influenced and altered, like religion,
by people in power who wanted to reflect their points of view. However, the feeling of a steering
wheel under ones hand, the ability to pick up a receiver and call someone miles away, knowing
that a train could carry you to see a friend in a fraction of the time horse travel would have taken,
all of this somehow made the world seem smaller. When people saw the world as a smaller place
would they finally realize that each person, each creature they shared it with was indeed a
neighbor and that hatred without just cause was indeed destructive?
That first run was thrilling and when we were allowed into the speakeasy we felt as if we
had just accomplished something grand. There was no trouble along the way and we were back
in New Orleans with a backseat full of liquor hidden by a fake bottom Angel had installed in no
time. Within a week our establishment was open with the former art gallery up top serving as the
brothel after rooms were sectioned off, the portrait studio converted into the gambling area, and
the basement that was guarded like the national treasury booming all hours of the night with
rowdy drinkers and loud music. It did not take long before the competition, those criminals we
had become criminals to defeat, realized something was up. They were not getting the business
they were used to and suddenly everyone was talking about a new joint in the Quarter called
Artys. One night two guys came in while Luke and Angel were below tending bar and they said
nothing. They just pulled out their guns and starting shooting from the doorway. I was dealing
cards at a table nearby and I took out the shotgun I had under the table as soon as the first bullets
were fired. I killed them both on the spot before Luke and Angel could even get upstairs. Three
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men were wounded at the card tables but none of them were fatally hurt and there was nothing
for us to do but carry the bodies down the street and leave them by the car Kila recognized as one
belonging to Rons boss.
The deaths were reported in the paper but the cops did what they were known to do at that
time. They backed off of it at the request of their pals and they let this gang of thugs handle it at
first. A meeting was scheduled on the turf of the main boss so that Angel and Luke would be
outnumbered and when they returned home too close to dawn we didnt have to ask them how it
went. Their white shirts were a mess with blood and spatter marred their faces and their hands.
As I washed Luke off despite his protest that I leave him the hell alone, I whispered softly, Are
you sure that this is what we should do? It seems like this will all end badly either way we go.
Maybe it would be best to leave.
And let those bastards win? I dont think so. Im not running and, by god, either are you!
You wanted New Orleans, baby, well now you have her and the full weight of her is sitting in
our hands. Turn the fucking light out. Im tired.
The next night Luke and I were running the tables when a sleazy looking man walked in
and made a bee line for my companion. I almost screwed up the deal as I watched them whisper
to one another and suddenly Kila appeared looking like she was seeing red. What the fuck is
that arse doing here?
I dont know. I was trying to find out when you interrupted me. Who is he? I whispered,
picking up and dealing again automatically with my eyes still glued on the men across the room.
Its Ron, the bastard!
Before I could say anything Luke gestured to us with his eyes, telling us to come downstairs.
Motioning toward two girls who worked upstairs and sometimes filled in at the tables, I filled
our spots and I smiled to see each girl reach below her to make sure the guns were where they
should be just in case. Mr. Rizzo is furious about last night. Hes the main boss back in New
York. Hes sending some real bastards down to oversee the operation here and hes already made
a call to the mayor so you should increase what you buy but youd be fucking fools to keep it
down here. Be smart, goddamn it! Yeah, I want out of the operation down the street. I am done
with that shit, the whole mess, but the one thing I can say about that operation is I knew if they
got busted somehow whether it was running or selling no one would say my fucking name. I
have connections in St. Louis like you wouldntyou sure its alright to talk down here? There
has to be at least one off duty cop sitting around somewhere. There always is.
Kila and I just stood behind the bar with the guys apart of this conversation as we assumed
they wanted us to be without actually joining in while this short man with a greased mustache
and clothes that said he was trying too hard to look rich yammered on. His beady eyes scanned
the bar like he was trying to see if there was someone he recognized. What he didnt know was
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that no cop, undercover or otherwise, would ever sneak into our place. That was one of the
benefits of mind reading. When he saw us, though, his entire demeanor changed. This same
asshole who had looked like a paranoid fish moments before now stood up a little straighter as he
gestured toward us with his thumb. What the hell are the broads standing there listening to men
talk for? Dont you two know how to keep your bitches in line? Whats the matter with ya?
Kila made a move forward but thankfully Angel put an arm out to stop her. She would have
hurt this little man in ways he never would have forgotten had she been able to reach him. But
my fury was cold while hers was like fire and I leveled the iciest glare I could manage at him and
smiled when he quickly looked away. They are not bitches. They are not broads. They are
women and you will show them some respect or I will put the word out that you helped us start
our entire operation with information you gave Karen when she came to you for a job and when
Rizzos men get here I have a feeling they will want to have a chat with you about this. Angel
threatened without once raising his voice.
Well, I fucking never
It doesnt matter. People saw her come in to your place, people saw her leave, and a week
later we had liquor from St. Louis. Now half of his men are dead and we are obviously
responsible which would, by association, make you responsible as well. Do you think the truth
matters to people like Mr. Rizzo? I dont. Were you raised by a pack of wolves talking that way
about the female sex? In case you never noticed, little man, your mother is a woman.
Dont talk about my fucking mother! Ron spat out, pointing a finger in Angels chest.
Luke was beside of him with his head down trying to hide his chuckle at all of this. It did seem
absurd yet there was also something about it that seemed necessary.
Why not? With the ignorant way you just talked about my wife and my friend, I have no
doubt you would talk about my mother if you saw her walking down the street. Do what you
want on your own time. Be as ignorant as you please. But around us, when you are here or we
come to do business with you, you had better show respect to these women and all others in our
presence because my friend Lou and I take such disrespect veryveryseriously and my wife
is a crack shot. Dont believe me? Ask Rizzos men who came in a couple of nights ago. Oh, my
apologies. Thats impossible, isnt it? Annie had her shotgun that night.
And so a deal was struck. None of us would have to do our own bootlegging anymore thanks
to Ron and his stellar operation of little guys as he called them that ran the liquor back and
forth. We were buying it from him for a slightly cheaper rate than Rizzos guys had paid but in
return we would protect him when the guys from New York were sent down to regroup.
Vampires started coming in just in time and many, both men and women, absolutely loved what
they found when they arrived. In fact, I have never met a vampire who did not thoroughly enjoy
the 1920s, especially in New Orleans. Scores of the undead made up fake names just because
and they worked the tables and the bar, they played music, and they protected the people as body
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guards. When the cops started breathing down our necks at the insistence of the new guys that
were sent down from New York we devised many ways to avoid them and the next few months
were like a big game, a game where the cards were always dealt, the liquor never stopped
flowing, and the band never went home. Then one night a routine trip to Rons warehouse by the
docks started a chain reaction that made us all a little harder, a little more out of control than we
had been before.
There was a rule we all followed that if we pulled up at Rons to get our shipment and there
was a car in front that was being serviced as Ron called it, you kept your distance and you
waited until the first car pulled away before you moved up to do your own business. This kept
arrests down to a minimum by decreasing who saw whom and who knew what. So Angel and I
sat in our car waiting in July of 1921 while a car was loaded but when a woman came out talking
to Ron as she leaned against the car, I was so shocked that I studied the scene in front of me.
Then I let out an excited cry. Angel, get out! Its Rapunzel! Look, damn it! Get out before
she As she pulled away, I turned my entire body around to face him. What the fuck is the
matter with you? That was Rapunzel!
I know perfectly well who it was! He spat out and I saw that he had what looked like
murder in his eyes as he pulled forward.
As a young boy loaded up our car, I whispered softly, You can come back when Im not
with you and ask Ron where she went, if shes coming back. Tell him shes an old girlfriend and
make it sound as if you are going to cheat on your wife when you find her. Hell be so proud to
hear that he will gladly tell you everything he knows.
Looking out the window, he replied simply, I do not give a damn what he knows, where
shes going, or when she is coming back so shut up about it and leave it alone!
But it was Rapunzel. I whispered. He looked so hurt as we drove away and he said nothing
as we dropped off what was needed at Artys and we took the rest out to the house where many
out-of-town vampires were staying. It was just one of many cellars where we hid our liquor.
Normally the trips he and I took to pick up the bottles and stash them all over the country houses
we had were relaxing times, times when we could laugh about the murder and the mayhem that
had become our lives. But on this night I could only watch as his heart broke before my eyes. I
dont understand it, Angelus. I remember the pain you were in when she left you in Italy. I know
you still love her. Time changes us and I doubt she is the same woman she was that night.
Besides, there have been no signs of your brother lurking around so his influence cant ruin this
for you the way it probably did before. Why wouldnt you talk to her?
We were getting close to the bar when he said simply, I am not chasing someone who left
me behind no matter what influence she was under when she did it. Let her come and go as she
damned well pleases. I will make sure I never encounter her again while we are here if I can help
it. Thats that and we are not talking about it anymore.
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He dropped me off at the bar telling me only that he wouldnt be in until dawn and while I
was dealing cards and pouring drinks with the cool sounds of the New Orleans Rhythm Kings
playing much too loud my friend was on a murdering rampage. That night he killed two cops,
one agent brought in by the local police to investigate us, and three of Rizzos men. By the time
he got to Rizzos guys he said he was too full to drain them so he had to shoot them and as he
told me this he lamented the perfectly good blood that was wasted in the act. In retribution for
this, a gang of guys came in armed with tommy guns and they shot us up, killing four and
wounding a dozen.
This was the way it went for the next seven years. Something about the act of killing
someone with a gun was changing me personally. It was one thing to go out and hunt the shores
and the country places like I loved to do, to hold a person in your arms and drink their blood
until you heard the heartbeat stop. The intimacy of it often kept one from going too far and
besides, that was survival. But to kill men week after week in a cold and useless way made me
feel tarnished somehow. We were all shutting off our emotions toward the bloodshed. Each time
Rapunzel came and we happened to see her at Rons Angel would go on a spree like he had that
first time and then more men would come for us. They were like toy soldiers, always coming. All
of us had been shot numerous times, all of us had been threatened with warrants for our arrest,
but despite all of this the city was slowly realizing that these men who were so powerful, so
feared, when we came were absolutely nothing against us. This was what we wanted when it all
began. This made the people come to us for their needs, it made the people laugh in the faces of
those who had tried to fill them with fear in order to control them, and around 1928 even the
police force started ignoring requests from Rizzo to bust us. Of course, Luke had finally
managed to get them in our pockets instead and that was probably a large part of it. But as the
city was turning to safe means to do their dirty work and the power was again in our hands, it
was taking a toll on each one of us.
One night Kila and I came in a few hours after Artys opened because it was our night to
hunt first and what we heard as soon as we went downstairs was Angel screaming, I am going
to kill that stupid bastard!
We just looked at each other while Angel rushed passed us. The people in the bar were
pretending not to pay attention as everyone did with everything then but Luke shouted
frantically, Follow him, goddamn it! Ill grab the car and meet you at Rons! Follow him!
We were used to Angel threatening Ron as he did it on an almost weekly basis after the
seven and a half years that we had all been partners but Lukes reaction told us this was different,
that this time Angel had meant his threat, so we rushed out and as soon as we could, we took to
the air. We followed Angel to Rons place in the Quarter and when we found him in Rons office
we heard, Listen, asshole, I dont know how you know her and I dont care to know. All I know
is that she wanted a place in the Quarter, I got her one, its between the two of us, and you had
better leave her the hell alone! You touch one hair on the kids head
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We stood motionless watching as Angel inched closer laughing bitterly, Kid? Is that what
she has you calling her? She is no child, you blithering idiot. She has you wrapped around her
cold little finger, doesnt she? The same man who called my women bitches is now acting as if
Rapunzel is a queen on high. But of course Im not surprised. I want her out, Ron! This is my
goddamned city! It is my blood, sweat, and tears that went into that Quarter she wanted so to live
in and I say she isnt fucking welcomed! You have until the end of the week to get her the hell
out of here or you will not like the consequences. It isnt her I will hurt. No matter what shes
done to me, and trust me, shes done plenty, I wouldnt hurt her for anything in this world. You
are a different matter altogether. I owe you nothing!
You threatening me, you bastard? How about I go to that stupid little place of yours and tell
your smart ass wife about you and the kid, huh? What do you think she would say about all this?
Maybe thats your problem. Makes a man real nervous to have his wife living so close to his
whore
It took Kila and me both to restrain Angel when he went for Rons throat. If he had gone
with his fangs instead of his hand, the two of us would have been bootlegging on our own once
more. Bringing his face down so he had no choice but to look at me, I said softly, You cannot
do this. I dont know what is going on
Hes moved Rapunzel into the Quarter. Thats what is going on. Her place is a block up
from Artys. I want her out, goddamn it! She has no right to be here, Arianne, no right at all! She
has no right to walk the same streets I walk night after night and
He didnt have to say anything else because I knew the rest. He assumed she had to know
that he was there, that even if she hadnt glimpsed him since she came she had to feel him, and
the fact that she hadnt made a single attempt to contact him was further proof in his mind that
she never loved him as he loved her. But I disagreed. The girl knew nothing about sensing
vampires, she seemed to heed her instincts very little, she wasnt like us. There wasnt a doubt in
my mind that she was oblivious to Angels presence in the city even though he stayed so close.
Looking over my shoulder at Ron who was practically using me as his shield in that moment,
Angel said coldly, The sex is good, god knows it is, but believe me, it isnt worth what she is
going to do to you in the end. For your own sake, cut your ties with her. If youve fallen in love
with her, that is all the more reason to turn away from her and never ever look back.
Spoken like a motherfucker who cant have her. Ron replied, poking the bear with a stick
because he thought I would protect him. The truth is, for that comment I would have let Angel
suck him dry if he had decided to do it.
Spoken like a motherfucker who did have her, someone who knows exactly what shes
capable of. She destroyed me and she loves me still. Imagine what she will do to a passing fuck
like you. Angel declared before he turned away and followed Kila out.
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That is one strange fucking marriage you have there, Arianne. Ron said. I was just going
to leave without a word to him but when he said my real name that had been spoken in a moment
when it hadnt mattered much, I spun around with fire in my eyes.
Pushing him up against the wall I lowered my voice to a deadly calm tone. The name is
Annie and dont spend another moment of your busy night giving a passing thought to my
marriage or anything else you think you know about us. I can bring you down so quickly youll
be in federal prison by the end of the month and you know it so if I were you I would remember
that what we have is strictly a working relationship. You make sure the product is ready when
its time to pick up and I will try to keep Arty from ripping your throat out. Maybe all of this will
blow over and things will settle down. Maybe not. Either way, unless he comes back for you I
dont see that you have anything to worry about and if I find out you mentioned any of this to
Rapunzel I will kill you myself. What happened here stays here, you understand?
Even though my hand was around his throat and it was clear I could do him harm, he did not
agree to keep his mouth shut right off. Instead he asked, Is he going to hurt her? Shes a sweet
kid. If I have your word that shes not in danger, you got mine that no one will ever hear about
any of this.
Like he said, he wouldnt hurt her for the world.
After I cleaned up that mess I found myself wandering the neighborhood where I had first
come the night that Morrigan told me to be the angel of mercy to the plague victims, the place
where I had first taken the life of a child. It looked absolutely nothing like it had that night. In
fact, there wasnt a trace of that place in my mind anywhere in this part of the city. As I walked I
thought about finding Rapunzel and doing what Angel stubbornly refused to. If she told me she
knew he was here and didnt care he would never have to know and perhaps I could persuade her
to leave for the good of us all. But if it was as I suspected and she had no idea she was sharing a
city with him I could change everything for the better for a man who truly deserved it. So why
couldnt I bring myself to do it? A man with rape on his mind made the mistake of crossing my
path as I walked and deliberated and soon he found himself up against a house too stunned to
scream while I sunk my fangs into his neck and drained him dry. Even that didnt help me see
things clearly. I went back to the apartment because it was too late to go to the bar and I found
Angel there alone packing his things. Whats going on? I talked to Ron and he wont say
anything
Spinning around quickly, Angel only looked at me for a moment like he didnt see me at all.
Then he smiled. I cant stay here anymore. She wont leave until shes good and ready to leave.
Maybe she doesnt know Im here but I know shes here and I dont want to see her, Arianne. I
am not ready to forgive her even if she would like it that way. I am not ready to risk waking up
alone and seeing shes run off. Im also not willing to put her in danger like she will be if she and
I reconcile and Aurelio hears about it. She has no idea how many times I had to chase him away
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before, how many times I lived in fear that she wouldnt come home after she went out alone.
Then one morning she didnt. Night after night I searched only to find her with a broken neck,
unable to see me, unable to move, chained under the ground because Aurelio told Domingo he
wanted her dead. I was responsible for that. If we hadnt found her, her death would be on my
hands. The time will come when we can try again but this isnt it. And I cant share space with
her knowing I cant have her. So Im going to St. Louis. Ill still be able to help with Artys. I
can send you bootleggers directly and you can save money by cutting Ron out. Im still here and
if you need me Ill come. But I have to go. You understand, dont you?
I do. I replied honestly.
Hugging me to him, he kissed my head and when he pulled away I realized there were tears
in his eyes. If you see her, dont say anything to her. Please. Just walk on by. And tell the others
why I had to go. Tell them Ill write soon.
That was the beginning of the end of the Roaring 20s for us. When the stock market crashed
a year later and the newspapers were full of news of suicides we barely noticed. None of us,
neither the criminals nor those who came to us on a nightly basis, had much in stocks and bonds.
Most of us considered secret holes in the wall or in fields where no one could find it our banks
and the common man wasnt inclined to be terribly sympathetic toward those who lost their
millions. The games still went on, the booze still flowed, and the music still played too loud. We
danced our way through it in our short dresses as we had everything else while Luke watched on
with a grin. But as 1929 came to a close none of it seemed to mean what it had a decade earlier.
The city was no longer in the clutches of Rizzos minions, the people felt safe, hell, our vampire
friends even formed groups to take out the dreaded KKK if they dared ride too close to the
outskirts of New Orleans. It seemed the party of the city would go on for the others long after we
were gone. Each night new vampires came seeking the sort of good time that can only be found
in one city in the world. There was nothing left, as far as we could see, to keep us there. In 1930
we waved goodbye to a decade of lawless fun knowing when we came back some night in the
future it wouldnt be quite the same and off we went to finally get the peace I felt like I had been
missing in all this travel for decades.

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Chapter 11
The 1930s did not become the relaxing time I dreamed it would be. Immediately following
our return a letter arrived from Angel asking Luke and Kila to come as soon as possible to St.
Louis. He had found his long lost daughter, Maura, and he needed Lukes added strength and
Kilas talent with reversal magic, the same spell that was once used to free her from her own
nightmare of captivity, in order to set Maura free. I could read between the lines. I knew he was
calling Luke because he thought Aurelio might show up. But all I could do was watch the two of
them go. For a couple of weeks I was left alone in the woods thinking about the feeling of my
finger on a trigger, the act of murdering men who might have had nothing more than a slightly
stained conscience, men with families who would grieve for them. It had been a matter of
survival I suppose. Not our survival but the survival of a place and its people that we cared
about. But that did not seem like reason enough to do what we had done. Even when I took the
life of a dying child in its crib I could see the purpose in it. But with this I could only wonder if it
had really been worth it, the repeated act of cold blooded murder, just to clean up streets that
humans would eventually soil again.
When the others returned I got the story of what had happened from Kila. It seemed the
three of them had gone in as a force to be reckoned with and Kila stayed by Mauras side
undoing the magic that had been worked against the girl while Luke and Angel fought the one
called Jeremy, her captor. In the end they had killed him with the fire from an oil lamp. I am
glad to hear it, all of it. Now she can go back to Keenan, restore his sanity to him.
Assuming it can be restored. Hes been mad for a very long time. Besides, I dont think
shes headed toward her beloved at all. He seemed the last thing on her mind when she rushed
off to enjoy her freedom and why not? Its been denied to her for so long. Luke replied in an icy
tone as he looked at me as if he were somehow making a correlation between me and this girl
when there was no correlation to be made.
New Orleans had made him colder. I had seen it year after year after the night of the meeting
that ended in a massacre. I could wash away the blood from his skin after that but not the spot on
his soul, it seemed. I wanted to tell him to let it go, to forget about all of it, but how could I when
I myself could not forget? It seemed strange that murder would bring vampires so many painful
nights but alas that was the way of it. So I said nothing when he hunted alone night after night
before going to Edinburgh to sit too long in front of the films that seemed to be his only joy.
Some mornings he stayed too late and I wouldnt see him for two nights or more. I would go
looking for him out of fear and I would find him in that damned movie house. He ignored me
when I sat at his side, he jerked away when I tried to touch him, and when he did speak to me it
wasnt about the things on his mind. It was about the gradual changes in film, slowly going from
silent movies to ones with sound, changing from theater-style acting to a form all its own. Kila
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told me only that all of this would pass after she made sure no outside influences were at work.
She told me the best thing I could do was to take no offence at his indifference and continue
standing at his side even when he told me to go away, and he did. She told me to continue
showing only compassion even when he moved out of our bedroom and refused to give me an
explanation. How could I not take offense to that? I understood the trigger for all of this, I
understood the cold feeling inside, but I couldnt understand why he seemed to be blaming me
for it all.
One night I found him watching a French film called La Belle et la Bte. I had actually gone
into the picture playing next to it because I couldnt see a single reason why Lucania, in his
present state, would go to see a film based on our story. He had only just sat down when I came
in and the film had just started a moment before. I didnt bother sitting next to him or showing
him I was there but I did take note when two young women came in and sat on either side of him
in the row below me. When they giggled, talked, did everything to capture his attention, I
actually thought I would have to intervene as I heard him seethe out in his deadliest tone, I am
here to watch the film. If you did not come to do the same, I suggest you leavenow!
The two rushed out immediately. He hadnt threatened them physically yet they still felt the
danger there just in that quiet tone, that somewhat harmless comment. I lived with him for a year
as a mortal girl, I went through argument after argument with him, I saw the destruction he could
bring first hand, yet I never feared him. Had I been insane? Or had I simply known in some part
of my soul that he would never hurt me? If that had been my assumption I had indeed been a
damned fool because here we sat with a row of seats between us and a fictional tale of our life
playing on the screen two hundred and thirty years after I met him and he was hurting me still.
You might as well come down here if you insist on being here at all. You never were the type to
perceive it when I wanted to be left alone. Why should I think you would respect that now? I
did move to his side though I had no idea why I did it. I also kept a seat between us. He wanted
distance? Let him have it. Come and sit beside me, goddamn it! Watch the film with me. They
even used your sisters name in this one. They have subtitles but of course you wont need them,
will you, my poor provincial girl?
Go straight to hell! I spat out, finally at my wits end with all of this. I sat beside of him
only so he could hear me when I said, Do you think you are the only one who came back here a
little broken? You think everything we did bothered me not? But I did not use that as an excuse
to turn my back on you! Never, no matter what you have done to me, have I ever turned my back
on you!
We will not discuss this right now. Look, the darling girl is about to enter the castle of the
beast. How hard it must have been for her. Can you imagine? Laughing, he answered his
question with his own assumption, Yes, I suppose you can.
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So weve come back to that, have we? After all of this time we are again in the woods in
Bohemia with that book between us. I am not staying for this! If you want to lament your life as
a beast, have at it. But just so we are clear on this, I was not afraid when I awoke naked in the
castle of the beast. As soon as I saw him, I was in love. And I will be damned if you or this, I
gestured toward the screen, will tarnish that! I tried to stand but he captured my hand in his
before I could walk away.
Dont go. Please. He said simply. There was still no emotion in his voice but it was the
first time in years that he had wanted me around. How long had it been since he had touched me,
since he told me he loved me? Five years? Perhaps a little more? How could I walk away when
this was the first hope he had given me that we might at last be able to move forward?
We said nothing as we watched Beauty and her Beast find one another, the love that they
each needed so much, only to come close to losing it all at the end. With the sound of my native
tongue flowing, the fact that one of the sisters in the film did indeed share my own sisters name
though no names were given to them in the original story, and with the hopeless tears of the
woman who believed her beast was dead, it was hard to ignore that some emotions remained
wrapped up with that old obnoxious story. But it was the feeling of Luke gently touching my
hand though he didnt take it that made me nearly weep.
Before he turned me he had spoken a few times about a time when the two of us would part
ways. Never once had he spoken of this again in our immortal life together but if there had ever
been a moment when it seemed as if it was possible for him to walk away from me, this was it. Is
that why he had asked me to stay? So he could at last say what he had been thinking the last few
years? Well, if he wanted to leave there was no reason to have some big tearful goodbye. I had
lived without him once and I would not beg him to stay to avoid living without him again. When
the movie went off I was out of the theater before he could catch me and I thought I had lost him
until I was going over a patch of woods on the other side of Dalmally and I was literally slapped
down out of the air. I knew it was him. Who else? So I charged at him when he landed, knocking
him off of his feet. I had no time to savor the moment because he came back at me knocking me
down and pinning me below him. Whats the matter, Arianne? You dont like the beast that Ive
become? You dont like what you sacrificed to save your precious city? Why should it matter
now whats become of me? You didnt seem to notice it then.
I was the one who said we should leave while you insisted that we had to stay! I noticed
what was happening alright but it was you who said you would not walk away, that I wasnt
walking away either! I could have gone alone, sure, but I am not like you, you bastard! I would
never leave you behind! You want to become the beast that you think the world sees inside of
you, do it! You want to leave, go! But I will not spend another night alone in our bed while you
blame me for everything we all agreed to do a decade ago!
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Backing off of me as if I had burned him, he sat in the snow-covered dirt for a moment with
his head in his hands. I had no intentions on leaving. All of this distance Ive put between us has
been an attempt to keep myself from leaving you. Yes, I blame you. Of course I do! It isnt
rational. I love New Orleans as much as you do and I wanted to do exactly what we did,
probably more than you did. But the blame here goes deeper than that. I cant explain this to you!
I cannot look at the woman I love who would never hurt me and see the pain in her eyes when I
tell her that sometimes I look at her and I see a woman she was once who nearly destroyed me. I
cant tell her that when I came back with the coldness in the pit of my stomach I thought only
Shes found a way to do it once again, to destroy the good in me. Only this time she did it using
the same murderous instincts that once turned her against me before! I know that isnt fair to
you, to us. But when I run, you follow, and when at last I am able to look at you and feel only
love without the demons of the past clouding it, you run away from me and accuse me of trying
to abandon you. There was a time when you were the only person who could look in my eyes
and see the goodness there. Now I take your hand for the first time in so long, yes, too long and
you dont see the love I have for you. You see only the beast still trying to hide from the light.
Go home. Dont look for me, dont wait for mejustgo.
Lucania
Go! He roared.
I went to Kilas and I was hysterical. She had to pull from my mind what had happened
because I couldnt speak. I felt betrayed by Luke, led astray by Kilas advice, alone for the first
time in my immortal life, and worst of all I felt a heartbreak unlike anything before it lodged
deep inside my chest. I wanted to feel nothing. I wanted to forget. I showed myself down to the
room that was mine in Kilas home. The following night, perhaps the night after, I would get up
and I would try to imagine a life without Lucania. He wasnt coming back for me. A man who
blamed me for things my soul had done, things I would never do, could not love me as I
deserved to be loved, the way that he had loved me once. But one night turned to two and then
three. I lost track. Kila came constantly to comfort, to berate, to try to get me out to hunt. I
ignored her. I thought back to the nights in the Bohemian Forest, to Luke stuck in his world of
dreams. I was much younger than he so how long would it be before I began sinking in on
myself, drying out? Did it matter? Sure. Just not now. Now I had to get over a pain much deeper
than I had known it when he had turned his back on me that first time so long ago.
Someone was trying to feed me. When I tried to push away the wound being forced against
my mouth, I realized I was too weak to do it. Kila, leave me the hell alone! I spat out as I
rolled over.
But strong arms moved me closer to a body I recognized as well as I recognized my own.
Look, sweet girl, Ive come back. Of course I did. I will always come back to you! Now feed.
Just
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I had enough strength to get off the bed but when I fell before I reached the door I was
absolutely furious! Go straight to hell! I suppose Kila wrote you and told you how Ive been.
Well, fuck off! I do not need your pity! You came back because you love me enough to want me
to live and I suppose you think I should be grateful for that but I am not impressed. One must
leave in order to return and you have lied to me each night of our lives! Your love allowed you to
muster up pity but it isnt enough to make you forgive me for sins I did not commit against you!
So go back wherever you came from! True love failed me once before when it wasnt strong
enough to keep you from forgetting about me and now it has failed me again by insuring that you
will remember it all and each life will somehow be held against me! I will not live with
Annalises ghost. You cant let it go. We have nothing left to fight for.
Overpowering me at once he gave me no choice but to take his blood even as I fought the
passion that always came with this act. The years without his touch, without his warmth, made it
easy in this moment to simply surrender to it all. But how could I when I remembered what he
had said that last night, when I remembered that he walked away from me and he only came
back because he felt it was his duty? I knew nothing about your state until I arrived! Ive been
at our home waiting all night for you and when you didnt come I came here! If you had had any
strength left inside of you I am sure the sounds of the heated argument between Kila and me over
all of this would have woken you! I am furious she did not call to me, that she had no plans to
call to me, that she just let you lay here for two months. She is furious with me for ever leaving
at all. Perhaps both of us are right. I am sure you are more furious than either of us could be and I
will accept all of it from both of you. I never imagined that you would truly believe I wouldnt
come back! After everything
I pushed him away from me using the strength he had given me in his own blood. I will
never forget these years and I will never ever forget what you said to me. After everything, we
have nothing. I am going home. Leave, stay with Kila, I dont give a damn. She has already
assured me her estate above is mine and I am telling you that you are not welcomed back.
So I dont get a single moment of your time to explain myself? I cant, after two and half
centuries as your lover, have a few moments to make you see that I meant none of it? He
demanded as I approached the door.
Ive wasted each night of those centuries on your lies so no, you may not have a moment
more of my existence for that. I replied simply.
Luke did not leave. He spent his days at Kilas and his nights outside the home we were
supposed to share. At first he stayed out because he was giving me space to come to my senses
but by the time he grew tired of that he had no choice but to remain outside because I had
installed a lock using Kilas famous spell. It was my first time doing it alone and I thought I had
made it too weak until the night that he spent hours trying to pick it to no avail. He would stand
out there from dusk until dawn shouting things that broke my heart and I would lay with my head
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on the door weeping with all I had while my radio was turned up, caught between wanting to
hear him out and being unable to forgive. But when I went out to hunt knowing he would walk
right beside of me and try to get me to listen, all signs of the tears were washed from my face. At
some point even Kila took his side. It wasnt that he left, that it took two months for him to
return, that made me so hard. It was the things he had said to me before.
One morning that damned fool did something so incredibly stupid he made sure I had no
choice but to let him in. Dawn was coming, I felt the weight of it pulling me toward sleep, yet he
remained outside. I was trying to ignore him until he promised that this time he would not go. If I
didnt let him in when the sun came up he would die. It was, he said, as simple as that. At first I
thought he was bluffing but as I felt the first rays of sunlight inside my very bones and I heard
him talking still, I went to the window in a bedroom that faced the front of the house and I saw
him standing right out in the middle of the yard, a location that would soon ensure he was
engulfed in flames. Go on, goddamn it! Find shelter before its too late! I am not going to risk
my life to save yours if you dont. I screamed.
Smiling up at me, he said simply, Yes, you will. You have before and you will now. Im
not going. Not this time. Life without you is not worth living so either you let me in orAh,
goddamn it! He swore and to my horror I realized the hand he was just gesturing with had
caught fire.
I used every ounce of my speed and I tried not to look at the burns on the left side of his
body as he came in the door I unlocked. You are a complete fucking fool! I hope for your sake
that those burns heal quickly. They look like they hurt like hell. Perhaps that will remind you not
to tie my hands in the future. Im going to bed. The old room you moved yourself into is just as
you left it so you can stay there until dusk.
It hurt probably as bad as those burns of his to turn away from him at the top of the stairs,
to be so cold to him when I knew he was in pain. But as far as I was concerned, the problem
between us was unresolvable and treating him with the love that welled up inside of me each
time I saw him, especially now, would only lead us down a path that would destroy what I still
felt for him. I was unwilling to do that. So I locked the door to my bedroom and I lay down to
sleep. I never made it. I hadnt charmed any of the locks inside the house or the doors to the
bedrooms so he said nothing as he literally busted the door in. No, by god, not this time! I have
you here until dusk whether you like it or not and you are going to listen to me! Get up, goddamn
it!
I dont want to hear anything you have to say! I declared, rolling over so that my back
faced him. It was his small wince of pain that he gave when he used both hands to try to roll me
over once more that made me relent. Why the hell arent they healing? I cried out, startled by
the look of them, heartbroken by his pain. Perhaps he was right. Maybe Annalise did live inside
of me after all. If I had only listened, if I had only let him in when I realized dawn was coming
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They are wounds directly from the sun. They take longer. Perhaps hours, maybe a day. But
what the hell do you care? At least youve caused me some of the pain I caused you, right? He
spat out, climbing over me to sit at my side. When I got up, he moved so fast it startled me.
Where the hell do you think youre going?
To get some water for the wounds. Maybe it will cool them a little. Sit the hell down,
Lucania. Im not going to leave you like that without trying something to help. No matter what
you seem to believe, I am not like that. I declared.
There is one thing that would heal them
Ignoring the stirring inside of me at the thought of where exchanging blood might lead, I
stepped around him. I am not quite that full of forgiveness. Sit!
When I returned he was sitting up on the pillows he had stacked against the headboard with
his shirt, or what was left of it, already off. Just that first glimpse of him sitting there where he
belonged, burns or no burns, was enough to fill me with desire. It was a desire that ran so deep it
would be hell fighting it but that was what I had to do. Laying rags I soaked in the water I had
retrieved from the kitchen on his wounds, I was about to remark on how the water system he had
installed two years earlier from the well into the kitchen had finally come in handy for something
when he took my hand and laid it where once his heart did beat. I cannot make you listen to me
though I could sit and talk all day but if you have any emotion left toward me I can ask you to
hear me out and if you still cannot forgive these years or that terrible night in the woods, I will
leave you alone until you call for me. Can you give me this? I nodded, taking my hand away as
I soaked the rags again in water and applied them once more to his burns. This was the first time
I had ever seen him wounded so badly for so long and it was the knowledge that he could have
died, he could be hurt, that made me realize this distance between us wasnt worth it no matter
what he might have said.
There was a time when I went into a camp full of soldiers, all of them sent to look for
Annalise, and I killed every single one of them. She knew about it, that I had done this, though
she did not yet know my secret and she assumed that I had shot them. What sort of human she
thought I was to be able to do this, I dont know. The point is, as a reward for that, she took me
into her bed for the first time and she promised to love me forever just as she did that night. But
when she saw me feeding she turned against me. She knew already that I was a killer but
apparently murder was only acceptable if it was done on her behalf. Taking my hand once more
and putting it exactly where it had put it before, he made me look at him when I tried to look
away. The night that I came back from the massacre you had this look in your eyes, Arianne,
this looklike you saw a monster before you. You insisted the blood be washed from my skin
like you had never seen blood before, like you didnt love it in fact, and for the first time in our
life you seemed afraid of me, disgusted by me. What I saw that night wasnt you. It was the
ghost of a woman long dead.
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What you saw was fear, alright, fear not of you but for you! I shot two men and I felt
changed somehow by it. You went into a room full of men and you took part in a massacre for
reasons that mean nothing to vampires! I was afraid that you would eventually slip away from
me because of it all, a fear that clearly was not unfounded! Anything you saw beyond that was a
product of your own mind, your own insistence that I must see you as a monster simply because
that is how you see yourself! Well, I do not nor have I ever!
Covering my hand with his own, Luke did not address what I said. He simply went on with
what he had nearly died to tell me. I have spent every night since you left me in the woods in
that theater in Edinburgh watching that movieour movie
It is not ours, goddamn it! None of it belongs to us! I declared but he only smiled.
Ah, you are wrong, my love. So wrong. But thats beside the point. The point is, that movie
has saved me. When I sat in front of it night after night I did not see the things on the screen but
rather the life we had then, the love we share. And whether you can forgive me or whether you
toss me out at sunset, what I have been trying to tell you since the night I came back is that when
I look at you I do not see the ghost of Annalise, damn it, I see the girl who saved me from that
ghost! I tried so hard to show you a monster, to scare you away, but you never saw anything
more than the goodness inside of me. You healed the wounds inside of me that Annalise created
and you were the only one who could because of your connection to her and to me.
Taking his face into my hands, I looked into his eyes and declared in a firm whisper, But I
am not her, Luke! I am not Annalise!
Wrapping his arms around me, pulling me down so I rested on his chest, he said with great
conviction, Of course youre not. You never have been. And I am so sorry for what I said. You
saved me, Arianne, and now I need you to forgive me for ever making you think for a moment
that you did not. My sweet, little beauty
What happened to your poor provincial girl? I asked with the last of the bitterness I had
left inside of me.
Dont do that, please. Dont try to wound me. Not now. Bringing me up for a kiss that
touched the depths of my very soul, he whispered, I know I hurt you. I cant erase what was
done. But I shall never leave you again, my love. I cant. Dont you understand that the reason
you can always see the good in me is because it is you who makes me good? You are my heart,
little beauty. If you meant it when you told me that our love had ever failed you, you were
wrong. I have failed you in the past. But our love is everything I am, everything I have to give,
so if you love me the way I know you do, there is no way that our love has failed you.
Of course it hasnt. I replied with a smile. Opening my wrist at last, I offered him my
blood but I took little notice as he healed. Though I was glad to see those terrible burns
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disappear, my mind was clouded, caught on other things. When he covered my body with his
own and I felt him slip inside of me at last I realized that I had truly believed I would never feel
this way again. Now that I did, I had to forgive. It would take some time to forget. But for him,
for this man who had given me the world, this man who had made me the center of his universe,
for the man who was as much a part of me as my own limbs, I would forgive.
The years that followed showed us terrifying things, the worst in human nature, as a new
monster unleashed itself upon Europe, a set of psychotic human beings who called themselves
Nazis or The Third Reich. The more we learned of them, the more we feared what they were
doing, and when the bastards invaded my beloved Paris and I went to investigate this and saw
people being rounded up, taken by trucks to locations no one on the streets could or would give
me information on, I went back home to Scotland giving Luke and Kila a full report. As we
deliberated on what could be done I was conscious of Lukes presence at my side in a way I had
not been in decades. I was grateful that he was there with me and that he would remain right
where he had always been if we decided, Kila and I, to take on these men. What else could we
do? As the papers started filling up with tales of terror, we saw no other option. We needed only
a strategy to move forward as the early years of the 1940s passed by us, the perfect way to go
forward, in order to again pick our side in battle and call up Morrigan to guide us when we went.
In the last nights of July, 1940, Kila came to me with the first step in the strategy we were
looking for.
I have extraordinary news and I am so happy the two of you are here for this. If you missed
it you would be highly disappointed.
I looked up from my book and I was a bit alarmed by the wild look in Kilas jade colored
eyes. Well sit and tell me this news but if its something to do with those Nazi bastards, break it
to me gently.
The grin Kila flashed was as crazy as the gleam in her eyes. It has something to do with
them alright but the importance of what were embarking on transcends this war completely. Be
patient with me while I tell you because it still feels like a mad dream. She sat in silence for a
moment and I said nothing though I was dying to hear what she had to say. You remember how
I told you that there are secret covens in England that have existed since the times of the
Christian invasions in one form or another? We talked about it when I showed you that
manuscript written by that older gentleman, Gerald Gardner?
Yes. I replied, a bit confused by these questions. She had indeed showed me manuscripts
from England written by the man in question, manuscripts that could not be published because of
Englands witchcraft laws, manuscripts that were instructions on the old way. But I couldnt see
how that might relate to Nazis at all.
Some of the covens have been working magic and meditation to keep the Nazis from
invading England. One woman in particular is especially involved in this movement. A few of
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the covens are meeting on the Jurassic Coast in the Devon area tomorrow, on Lughnasadh of all
nights, to push back invading forces, to keep them from the coasts. A vampire who originated in
London is friends with one of the coven leaders making the journey and when he told her he
knew a powerful Scottish witch who had experience with this sort of thing she invited me to
come.
What about the witchcraft laws? We dont have to fear the consequences of this action but
the mortal witches do! The government could easily hear about this and they could set up a trap
for them all. Punishment is death as you know all too well.
There are rumors that the government knows already, that the magic has been permitted not
only for those meeting on the coast but for all the covens who intend to work from places of
worship all over the country. Some are saying that a member of the royal family, an important
member, met with a small group of Druids and witches and she asked them for assistance. If this
is all true it is the thing that makes this so extraordinary! A group like this, magic of this caliber,
has not been seen in England in nearly two thousand years and if the story of the royal is true the
witchcraft laws, the last of them, may soon be repealed. Twenty years from now we might see a
gathering in Salisbury or the worship of Bridget as a Goddess once more instead of a Catholic
saint. What we aid the English witches in doing by the cover of night may ensure that all mortal
witches can soon step into the light in our society once more. Im leaving tonight. Are you
coming as well?
Luke and I both agreed to go. I was doing this more for Kila than anything else. She nearly
died thanks to the old laws of Europe and seeing the last of them finally repealed would have
meant everything to her. Even if no royal had anything to do with this gathering the fact that it
was taking place at all and we would be there to witness this historic moment was huge. It was
clear when we rented a room in a charming inn close to the shore where we would meet the
others the following evening that this gathering of witches was a well-known secret in Devon.
No one was talking about it but a scan of minds in the inn and the pub showed me that many
were thinking about it. Whats more, while no one would openly admit it, they were all believers
that this gathering and the magic of those entrusted with this task would stop Operation Sea Lion
in its tracks protecting the English from these mad invaders. I had always agreed with Kila that
the time would come when things would change for the children of the Wise Craft but I realized
that first night that I had never really believed it because this event and the reaction to it blew my
mind.
I awoke the next evening feeling as if I were surrounded by jolts of electricity. Opening my
eyes I saw Kila in the middle of the room. No lights were on but she had candles lit everywhere
and she was chanting as she faced the west, the direction of water. I knew then what the jolt was.
She had cast a circle and she was now gathering energy from the Guardians of the four
directions, the Gods, and to my surprise, the Unseelie Court as well. You cast a circle all around
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the room while I am laying here sleeping and now you are calling out to the queen of the bad
faeries? What the hell are you doing?
Kila looked back as if I startled her. Luke went out an hour ago to hunt and if you looked
before you jumped to conclusions you would see that I protected you with a circle of salt around
the bed just in case things did not go as I planned. Ive spoken with Morrigan. It seems many
who came for this, many around the United Kingdom who are gathering for this purpose, have
called upon her as well. She has her side and shell be watching over all of us this night. When I
suggested calling up the Unseelie Court like we used to in the old days to stop the English from
reaching our shores she told me to do what I thought was best. I wasnt calling them to me. I was
calling them to the shore. Get up and get dressed while I release everything. We need to be quick
so we can hunt before we meet with the others.
The tension was thick as we hunted. Not between the two of us but in the very air of the
coastal village around us. People were worried. They were afraid. But all of them had resigned
themselves to doing what they had to do in order to make it through this war with their lives
intact. For the villagers on this night that meant turning a blind eye toward what they knew about
the witches and for the witches that meant risking their lives on the hope that they could stop the
Nazis from reaching the coasts.
A group of German spies had already found their way to Devon. They were sent so they
could relay information that would aid in Operation Sea Lion thereby sacrificing the lives and
the freedom of the English people but the success of this mission would mean something else. It
would mean that the Jewish people in England would be rounded up and taken away just like
they were in France before my own eyes. When Kila and I found them in a small house outside
of the village proper we snuck up on them as silent as ghosts and we killed all of them as they
were meeting to discuss the sudden appearance of many strangers in such a small place. As I
drained the blood of one man in particular I was hit with vivid images that finally explained why
the Nazis were taking the Jewish people of Europe and what they were doing to them. Fighting
to regain my composure I walked at Kilas side as we went toward the meeting place. We have
to do more than this. You see that now dont you? I asked softly.
Yes, but what? She asked.
There is only one way to end all of this.
Looking over at me she whispered, We must kill Hitler. I only nodded as we reached our
destination.
Many people were there already including Luke yet no one was speaking. Sitting on either
side of Lucania Kila and I communicated telepathically when I asked her why no one was saying
anything and she explained that there would be no introductions made, no personal information
exchanged, because if this was going to end badly no one wanted strangers to have information
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that could lead the government straight to their doorsteps. She said that each aspect of the
witchs Cone of Power would be observed: To know, to dare, to will, and to be silent. So we
waited as others arrived and we stood when we were told to do so. When the chanting started I
heard a mixture of English and Gaelic as I chanted with Kila in the latter language. The ocean
below the cliff we stood on started churning soon after we began and I could feel the intense
power all of us gathered as we stood in a line with our hands linked and raised toward the sky.
Just a few feet away from the cliff a raven was flying and the winds, the waves, were
increasing and decreasing in time with her flapping wings. A small group of something I
couldnt identify was all around the raven as if they were working with her. It took me a moment
to realize they were members of the Unseelie Court and when they appeared everyone in the
group seemed to take notice. One woman asked if everyone knew the words and the moves that
accompanied The Witchs Reel. Even though it was in old Scotch-English most said that they did
and a circle was formed by all of us. Counter-clockwise we danced hand in hand as those who
knew the words sang and when Kila was the one left out at the end I knew this had been her
intention all along by the way she smiled though I wasnt sure what would happen next. The rest
of us remained in a circle around her as she raised her arms and called out in Gaelic for the queen
of the Unseelie Court to use her body to hold back this plan of invasion.
Suddenly her eyes lit up in a strange way and she moved out of the circle to face the ocean at
the edge of the cliff by herself. The words she called out belonged to no language I had ever
heard but when she pointed her hands toward the ocean the water became more tumultuous than
any ocean I had ever seen before. They will be stopped, they will be stopped, they will be
stopped Suddenly Kila dropped as the invisible force she had granted access to left her. I
could still hear her softly chanting her mantra again and again as people started leaving. Various
gifts of thanks were taken down to the shore for the sea and the Gods who ruled the waters. We
all knew it had worked without really knowing it and as I lay beside of Kila I was confident that
England would be alright.
Do you realize that two miracles occurred on this night, old friend? Magic was used in
public by multiple covens of witches and you stood beside the English to help them protect their
country. Anything truly is possible, isnt it? I couldnt help but laugh at my words. Kila helping
the English with the same magic she used against their ancestors was suddenly hilarious to me.
The energy raised by all of us had not completely found its way to the sea. This was clear. Kila,
Luke, and I were still pulsating with it.
Youd better be right about the assessment that anything is possible if we truly mean to go
through with the decision we made earlier. She replied with a grin.
What decision? Luke asked.
Kila and I looked at one another knowing he wasnt going to like what we had to say one bit.
Finally she looked at Luke who was lying on her left. When we get home we are calling a
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meeting with Angel, Lucius, and other vampires who want to be a part of this and we are going
to tell them the atrocities we saw when we killed a group of Nazi spies tonight. We are going to
present them with an idea to end this war in the only way that we can think of and those who
wish to participate in it will help us formulate a fool-proof plan. Arianne, me, and anyone else
who is interested, are going to kill Hitler.
A moment of silence followed this confident declaration before Luke all but shouted, Like
hell you are! This is too dangerous a notion for either of you to seriously entertain!
Were doing more than entertaining it, big brother. Were going through with it. You can
join us or wait for us when the time comes but it is already decided. Well be fine. He cant hurt
us, we have a strong battle Goddess on our side, and we will do a great deal of research before
we attempt anything. Everything will work out. Youll see.
On September 17th, one month and seventeen days after our meeting by the sea, Hitler
confirmed that he would not go through with Operation Sea Lion. The way we heard it later, he
simply had a feeling that it was a bad idea. Damn straight it was. The heroic work of the military
was of course apart of this change of heart but although we do not ask for credit we know that
the lost story of the magic in England on that Lughnasadh night helped quite a bit. It seemed like
old magic and new ideals went rather well together. War sometimes brings about the strangest
surprises for both mortals and the undead alike. But when we heard the news that the mission
had been canceled we had no time to celebrate. We were planning a mission of our own and we
were having a hell of a time getting everything to fit together just right for the murder we wanted
so badly to commit.

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Chapter 12
As soon as we returned to Scotland, despite intense protest on Lukes part, Kila wrote letters
summoning Angelus and Lucius asking them to come as soon as they could. While we waited,
we gathered each night making a list of information we would have to have in order to make this
assassination successful. Hitler was the hardest man in all of Europe to get close to and that was
going to be a challenge but at least we anticipated it and until we could move forward, that was
the best we could do. It would take all of our skills as vampires to pull this off. There was no
point in attempting to sneak in to his Chancellery using some normal means. No, we would need
our strength, our speed to do it. We could stab him, shoot him, maybe even poison him, as that
was the sort of death he deserved, but carrying in weapons was an unnecessary nuisance when
we had all the weapons we needed built right into our mouths and killing him with poison would
take too long making it more of a risk. On and on we went like this with Luke refusing to even
take part in our conversations. I think he believed that even if we were able to talk Angel into
something so mad, Lucius would forbid us to do this as soon as he came. I think Kila and I even
agreed with him. But if we could at least talk Angel into it, perhaps he could do it if we were
forbidden to move forward. The last step was to make sure Hitler was guilty of the terrible things
we were accusing him of, to see these death camps with our own eyes so we could have the
images in our minds to show the others when they came.
We denied Lukes demand that he travel with us when we decided to go to Poland and
Germany where we believed the camps had been set up. If he followed us anyway than his safety
was in his own hands but we feared it would be hard enough for the two of us to sneak in to any
of the top secret camps without adding a third vampire to the list. We had much to do in a little
amount of time but we did believe we could do it without getting caught so long as we were
careful and if we were caught, what of it? The soldiers would shoot us and they would be
stunned as we disappeared unharmed. We were not really worried about this. So long as we
avoided direct contact with bombs we would be fine and bombs are usually easy to spot in time
for a vampire to get out of the way. By night at least
The two of us took off while Luke was hunting one night. We pretended to hunt in a
different area in the city we had all decided on that night and we were gone before he could
follow us. He would be furious when we returned but as long as we returned we would be able to
say that his fears had come to nothing. We traveled first to Poland thinking that the concentration
camp there would be smaller, easier to handle, than any that might be in Germany where all of
the atrocities of this war had begun. We had no idea that the place we found with great difficulty,
the place now so infamous its very name makes people around the world think of the worst
atrocities of World War II, would be the largest and most deadly camp of its kind.
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As soon as we got close to the camp we landed in a field and we were horrified to see a
huge pile of bodies just feet away from us. These were the people who had been killed as soon as
they came off of the incoming train that day though at the time we had no idea how they came to
be there. Though we looked at one another, we did not speak. In fact, we didnt say a word the
whole time we were there. But so many things were running through my mind as we took to the
air again realizing that this was the only way we stood a chance of getting into the main part of
the camp itself. What we had seen in the mind we probed that night by the shore was rooms
where people were taken and where chemicals, gasses, were used to kill them before their bodies
were taken to a crematorium. It was these places we wanted to find first though we doubted we
would find anyone there so late at night. We were correct in that assumption, no one was there
when we finally found the chambers and the crematorium, but the smell of death coming from
the area left no doubt that what we saw in dying thoughts had been correct.
Getting into the barracks would be one hell of a task because we didnt know where we were
going and we figured the places where the living were kept was probably packed with guards in
a way that the place where people were brought to die was not. We also had to be careful not to
draw attention from guards posted everywhere to prevent escapes. By the end of that night, we
were shot at numerous times after we did indeed catch the unwanted attention of guards and the
entire camp was soon crawling with soldiers but we had not only seen the sickening condition of
the people being held there, we had also seen the room full of the clothes and other personal
items of those who had been brought to this hell hole and when we got back to Scotland,
agreeing that we had seen all we could handle, both of us were changed by all we saw in a way
that would outlast the war. We were also more determined than ever to go through with our plan.
When we came home the two of us went to my house first and there we found Angel and
Lucius sitting with Luke in the living room listening to a radio program that was giving the days
news about the war. Kila sat down with them but I explained that I needed a moment, retreating
quickly to my room, wishing to be alone for a moment. I wasnt terribly surprised at the flood of
tears that poured from me as I sat on my wonderful bed thinking about the poor people sleeping
in cramped wooden bunks, thinking about how many had probably been killed in the two nights
since we left that wretched place, thinking of the smell of death and despair that had been
everywhere and the pile of bodies we had seen when we first arrived. How could I ever erase
such images from my mind? The answer was that I probably could not and I would then be
forced to carry those impossible images in my mind for the rest of eternity. Luke came in while I
was still letting out the worst of it and he held me to him as tight as I could stand it as he
whispered, Kila just opened her mind so we could all see what the two of you saw. My god,
how could any human being have so much power that he was able to command other living
breathing humans to do such things? Not even at the risk of death did I think a person could
knowingly commit such atrocities. I am no stranger to dictators or invaders and such men are
never kind but this is a new level of madness, a new method that is beyond the cruelties of the
past. I wish to god you had never seen what you found at Auschwitz!
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Looking up at him, I said, So you understand now that Hitler must be stopped and you
realize that the only way to stop him is to kill him?
I didnt say that. Now that I know what he is capable of
Standing up suddenly, I practically pushed him out of my way as I moved quickly toward
the door. He is a coward capable of doing nothing but giving orders. You dont see him
personally operating such a camp, do you? He is a fucking coward! And if you would honestly
stop us from doing what we need to do when you know that all of Europe is either terrified of
him or they are on his side so no mortal can help those poor, poor people, than you are as
heartless as he is!
I stormed out and I was in the living room downstairs before Luke rejoined us. Angel had
my hands in his and I was weeping silently as I had to let down my guard and let him read these
memories to make sure they were identical to Kilas and we had not faked these things. As if we
had the capacity to imagine such crimes! Lucius had Kila held in his arms on the sofa while she
also cried at the things we had seen and when Angel had what he needed, he offered softly, I
can erase these things from your mind if you cant handle their great weight. We would all
understand if you couldnt. Carrying such images for all time would be horrible.
I need to carry them. I need them to do what must be done. Hopefully now that you have
seen them you also realize that only vampires can stop this.
Kissing my forehead, he went over and sat on the other side of Kila. Luke took a seat in the
chair behind me and before I could fight him, he pulled me onto his lap. I didnt have the heart to
fight him. I let him lace his fingers with my own and I waited on someone to say something. I
agree with Ariannes assessment. Only vampires can stop this. We three are the oldest vampires
walking this earth and our experience in the past with assassinations of this nature will be
invaluable to this operation but we must keep in mind as we plan that many things have changed
since the last time we all gathered to interfere in something of this nature. We must not forget
that as we go forward. And while I think it would be madness to allow our lovely ladies to go
into this alone when the time comes, I do think that we should take the position of look outs
while they handle the murder by themselves. ThisI refuse to call him a manthis dictator will
be surprised when two beautiful women show up in his space suddenly and that will decrease the
chance that he will have time to summon help. While an all-out blood bath might make us all
happy knowing the things we know, it will be better if we can keep the murders down to a
minimum. We must be correct in every assumption, right on every point, and we must be as
clean about all of this as we can be. This must be done to help the human race as a whole and the
Jewish people, the Gypsy people, the outcasts of European society in particular but we cant risk
accidently exposing our kind in some way in the process, can we?
This was a rhetorical question, of course, and the fact that all of this was coming from
Lucius stunned us into silence for a moment. When I found my voice, I looked behind me at
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Luke who had his jaw clinched at the announcement and I asked, Will you tell him it is
impossible as well?
What the hell would be the point in that when Ive clearly been outnumbered on this? All I
can do now is help construct a plan that will work so well you wont be hurt doing this foolish
thing yourself when the time comes. He replied, hiding his fury from none of us. I knew that he
wasnt against the plan as a whole. He was just terribly worried about me and probably Kila as
well. So that was as far as my gloating went and I kissed him lightly on that tight jaw of his to
show him I understood.
The plans took nearly three years to complete and many nights of frustration and panic went
into all of it. When the atmosphere was so thick around us that it was almost suffocating,
someone would always put The Andrews Sisters on the Victrola and I would try to resist the
music coming from the latest group that Kila and I couldnt get enough of before someone would
draw me right into dancing. Afterward, though, I would think of that god forsaken camp and I
would feel guilty that I had wasted even a moment on something so self-indulgent while
innocent people were being slaughtered. When America was drawn into the war after Pearl
Harbor it seemed all of Europe saw this as a sign that the war would soon be over but still we
worked and we declared that we would not stop unless it was announced that not only was the
war over, but Hitler had been one of the many casualties on the list. As long as he lived, we
would continue dreaming up his assassination at our cold hands. Finally in June of 1944 we had
everything worked out as well as it ever would be. Lucius had somehow gotten the layout of
Hitlers Chancellery in Berlin along with the information concerning Hitlers usual schedule so
that we had a visual indication of where he would be when we entered his home of sorts at
around three in the morning, estimating that as the time we would be in the location, after Angel
drew up blueprints for us at Luciuss careful instruction. Lucius also told us that Hitler did not
sleep well at that point so if he wasnt in bed he could be found down the hall in a room he used
as a study. Kila and I eventually surmised that our friend had traveled the night before until he
found someone who was familiar with the Chancellery and Hitlers schedule, that this was why
he hadnt come home that morning. But in truth we didnt care how he got his information, only
that it was accurate.
We were all frustrated before we even touched the ground in front of Hitlers Chancellery,
as the massive house he occupied with many others in the Reich was known, at the difficult time
we had getting into the city itself. The fact that it was going to be hell getting into the window
we needed without raising the whole place up against us only added to our irritation until Kila
and I were like pouting children while we propelled ourselves up and moved as fast as we could
inside. We wanted him to be awake at that point so we could have a fight, a struggle, to release
all of this irritation inside of us and we were terribly disappointed when the bastard was sleeping
like a baby. A moment later as we were on either side of him draining him to death we realized
from his memories of what he had done just before bed (yes, those were the despicable bastards
last thoughtsnothing gruesome, no remorse, nothing from childhood, nothing even morbidly
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interestingjust thoughts of his last meal and the images he had of getting ready for bed) that he
had taken sleeping pills, the strength and dosage of which could have killed a horse, and that this
is why the bastard denied our silent request for a fight to reward all of our troubles by sleeping
through his own damned death. History tells the world a much different story concerning this
monsters death, not because the entire world has chosen to lie but because, unbeknownst to us,
Hitler and his closest advisor had discussed long ago the way to handle the situation if an
assassination occurred and it could be covered up. But as we left that room in the dead of night
without so much as a hair out of place, we knew nothing about this. We thought the following
night we would awake to a world where the threat of Hitler no longer existed. We thought it a
job well done and we were smiling when we got home too close to dawn.
Sit down, my love. I have something to tell you. But you must wait for Angel to return
with Kila so I can tell you both at once. This is an announcement I would rather not make twice.
Luke declared as soon as I woke up. He was standing by the window looking out at the soft
Scottish rain and he looked beautiful but when he turned toward me I saw that he also looked
very upset.
We heard the heavy front door close and I followed him downstairs asking Kila silently if
she knew what was going on just to be told without words that she did not. So we sat, the two of
us, on the sofa, and we waited for the guys to tell us what had happened but we were both too
stunned to speak when Angel told us that Hitler had made a speech from Berlin that day, that the
world had not been changed by what we did, that even though we knew beyond a shadow of a
doubt that the evil creature in question was dead, the concentration camps were still in operation
and the war was still going to continue. After a long pause, stunned silence, I called out, How
the hell is that possible? There must be a mistake! This is some game the Nazis are playing but
they cant play it for long, surely
Right now we honestly arent sure how this has happened but Lucius has gone to Berlin to
try to find out. When he returns hopefully we will know more and well know how to proceed
from here. Are you two absolutely sure he is dead? You are sure that he was drained all the
way? Luke questioned.
Yes! Unless he has a vampire that was close by in his Third Reich Kila stopped dead
suddenly as she looked at me. What if it were possible? What if there was a vampire among his
trusted people in that large house, one that heard us come in, knew what we had done, and had
rushed in after we left to turn him before it was too late? The idea of it was enough to make me
shiver.
No, that isnt it. This speech was made in broad daylight with people from the city
watching on and a vampire can only be made by the vampire who drained him, remember? Now,
we know already that he has body doubles. That is why it was so hard to make the damned plan
but no body double would have been in that bed last night. A body double could have certainly
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appeared today for the speech but that doesnt explain why things are still pressing forward as if
nothing has changed. They are not that stupid, to think they can do this for years. Angel
declared. He even chuckled at the very idea.
Imagine our surprise, then, when Lucius returned telling us that this was exactly what was
going on. Per demands laid out on paper long ago and entrusted to his most important advisor, a
body double was filling in until the war came to its own end. No one was going to speak about
Hitlers death and in fact, only three men knew the secret. Two had already been shot on orders
of the third, the one with Hitlers instructions. Everything would be done to ensure that this never
got out to the public and that Germany went on to win the war. No one knew what would happen
beyond that. But the body double acting as the most powerful and hated man in Europe was
going to be taken to Prussia as it was feared that there were too many people in Berlin who knew
Hitler too well to be fooled by the imposter. Prussia was safer, they believed, for the charade. I
guess they never dreamed they would, in one months time, leave Prussia one body double
lighter and yet another in his place pretending to be Hitler after a murder-attempt was actually
successful and another cover-up was needed to keep the game going. And how do you know all
of this? I asked Lucius, referring to the news from Berlin.
I said there were only three people who saw the body and knew what had happened. The
fourth was a vampire. He is seen as one of the most powerful men in the Third Reich and Hitler
trusted him very much but he has been relaying information to thwart the Nazi efforts since he
got in with all of it around six years ago. He would have killed him himself long ago if he could
have safely gotten away with it without uncovering our entire kind but since it was a real fear
that he could not, he has helped many attempts on Hitlers life and he is furious that even the
bastards death did not do the trick. He knew nothing about the instructions until just before
dawn yesterday morning when the body was found. He is furious about the outcome but he is
headed to Prussia to meet the others there as we speak and he is intent on seeing what can be
done from here. It was a good plan and weve all worked hard but none harder than the ladies.
This is not a failure. Yes, for now unfortunately the camps are still in operation and the war will
go on. But it will end soon. It must. And when it does we need not worry that this man will
somehow escape and rise up again or that he will live out his days in a prison where he will
know little suffering compared with what he deserves. He can never do harm once this war is
done. He is dead. It wasnt for nothing. It was not a failure.
It was this mysterious vampire informant who told Lucius the following month that the body
double was indeed killed when a bomb was planted beside of him and it went off though people
believed it when they were told, despite the massive damage to the room around where the bomb
detonated, that Hitler had lived. Those who were responsible were hunted down as relentlessly
as they would have been had it been the real bastard pursuing them and Lucius was told that
those who killed the real Hitler were also secretly being searched out though it had been
discovered after a Nazi doctor had investigated the body (his last patient as it were because he
was killed as soon as the man now really in charge, the advisor, was given the report) declared
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that it had been drained of all blood without any visible explanation. This secretly frightened the
advisor though the vampire had to learn this from his thoughts. This advisor knew too well the
old legends of creatures that roamed the night drinking blood, creatures that could shift into bats,
he believed, and this explained the time and method of death and it would also explain how the
murder was carried out without anyone in the massive place seeing anyone go in and out. The
vampire was amused by this fear but it was the only thing, he said to Lucius, that he could find
amusement in at that moment. He had no way to move forward yet and he said to tell us all to
start praying the war would end. So that is what Kila and I did. We called up Morrigan for the
first time since we were in England and we again asked her to aid our side and to bring this to an
end as soon as possible.
We had to wait a full nine months for the news that Hitler (body double 4maybe who
knows?) had shot himself in his bunker close to where the real man had been killed ten months
earlier in Berlin and that the woman who had married a body double had taken poison with him
and she was dead as well. In no time the war was over. Could it have dragged on longer had we
not killed Hitler the year before? Who knows? Could Germany have won if Hitler had lived
beyond June of 1944? I doubt it. I have never believed that. Was anything accomplished at all by
the assassination we successfully carried out? Just that we have always known that Hitler did not
live to see the war end even as the world speculates still on that subject, we got a very small taste
of revenge, and we did not have to go mad during those dark days leading up to the murder
feeling like there was nothing for us to do. The nine months spent with that feeling between that
night in Berlin and the arrival of the news that Hitler had committed suicide were hell enough
because of that. I have always believed they staged this fake suicide when they did because they
knew the end had come and they feared the world would suspect something, and perhaps that the
effects for Germany would be worse afterward, if they did not show the world that Hitler was
dead and since one important man in the Third Reich, this nameless advisor, knew damned well
it was true he knew there was no risk of exposure like a Hitler sighting of some kind. Although
some do speculate that Hitler and Eva Braun fled to Argentina most do not give credence to the
theory because of the people who saw a body looking like the leader. I believe it is possible
Braun got away, that she lived out her days with one of the body doubles. Perhaps she had
managed to fall in love or something. I dont know. I do know beyond a doubt that Hitler himself
did not flee to Argentina and that he was dead before the wars end because I saw his dead body
with my own eyes right after I helped kill him.
The rest of the 1940s were spent living it up in New York City after Kila saw an article on
the end of the war and the soldiers around the world returning in a newspaper and she somehow
fell in love with the city from the pictures she found. Angel left us months before wars end so it
was the three of us again hitting the town every single night in lavishly expensive clothes and the
best makeup money could buy. Our ornate room at the Wardorf-Astoria hotel was absolutely
decadent and late night parties were often thrown there when the popular clubs around town shut
down for the night. Kila and I danced so much during those years, we felt so free, that it was
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almost like the years of the war had been a hell that led us straight to heaven. But as the decade
came to an end we started seeing that society was changing, in our opinion for the worst. Women
who had found freedom in the 1940s by working and being independent from their husbands
during the war did not want to go back into the kitchen as easily as America had assumed they
would so those husbands were beginning to push them back into the kitchen with force,
demanding with more insistence as the beginning of 1950 dawned, that things go back to normal.
The after-party that had been the last five years of the 1940s seemed to be over and it was
quickly being replaced by a false wholesomeness that was, at its core, a message to women
everywhere that the only way they could be good, happy, women was by having the husband, the
house in the suburbs, and the 2.5 children without ever wanting more or demanding freedom.
Kila and I couldnt stand it. So we all went back to Scotland to escape the lie of the 1950s in our
own little world where nothing had to change but the sounds coming from our Victrola and even
then, only if we wanted them to.

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Chapter 13
The two things that affected Kila and me the most in the 1950s was rock n roll and the
repealing of the last of the witchcraft laws in England. We were hunting outside of Scotland
altogether after we came home because Luke and I had decided that, barring any other demands
from the world, we would be staying home for as long as we could this time around so we
needed to make ourselves scarce in Scotlands cities. The night after the laws were repealed we
all discovered the news in a paper in London and Kila dropped there on the street, covering her
face while she wept. In some way I still do not understand, she told me later that in that moment
she felt a combination of justice and relief when she read that what we had only dreamed of a
decade earlier had come to pass. She also seemed to feel that a tide had turned toward the
prediction she had made over and over again that Pagan ways would not die and that eventually
the magic would not only be revived but that it would somehow change the world for the better.
She was so happy that night that she declared we would have a party to celebrate as soon as we
could get Angel and Lucius to come. The party never came to pass but by the end of the next
decade the number of Pagans had grown substantially and the coven ways of England and spread
and flourished across the ocean in America. In the decades since, we have seen amazing things
happen concerning our worship, things I never thought I would see, and we both believe that
none of it would have been possible without the laws being repealed at last in The United
Kingdom.
Rock n roll came into our lives after our Victrola was traded in for a record player and the
sounds of Elvis, Little Richard, and Jerry Lee Lewis could be heard blasting through our part of
the Highlands all hours of the night. We were absolutely crazy for this new sound that had come,
we believed, from the Blues we heard in New Orleans thirty years earlier. While we were
rocking around the clock, Luke had a telephone installed after falling in love with the invention
at last during our years spent at the Wardorf and when television reception came to the
Highlands, assuming one had an antenna outside so tall it reached God, Luke traveled to Dublin
alone to get one, traveling back with it like a human because he knew if he dropped it that high
above the world it would destroy anything it hit and who knows how far the radius of destruction
might spread around it. But he did have to carry it straight up into the hills of our home and it
was a monster, in my opinion. A monster he had spent a small fortune on. When he had it all
hooked up he loved it and I could not stand the damned thing. But we each had our thing that
made the 50s interesting for us and when the decade ended none of us regretted that we had
spent little time in the world.
The apple-pie wholesomeness that even Europe was infected with was as hard to stomach as
it was to believe and, as I said before, we vampires did not believe it. We were not sure how long
this crap would last but the earliest years of the 1960s showed little change in the atmosphere.
Then a war without purpose came about that, combined with an early life spent dealing with the
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aftermath of the last war, shaped a huge young generation in ways that eventually blew to hell
that illusion of wholesomeness in many parts of the world. But before the hippie invasion that
made things better for the three of us, there were the sounds of this new group called The Beatles
that Kila and I adored and there was a hurricane in New Orleans in 1965 that changed my sense
of right and wrong, my perception of what I could do for the place I had raised from infancy, so
much that I returned to the Highland hills confused and broken-hearted.
We heard about the hurricane during a news show and though it had occurred the day
before, the devastation and the death toll had already been estimated and the results were so bad
that Luke and I left at once. We had to see what could be done and we would be gone as long as
it took to make right this terrible act of nature. That was what we decided before we found a ship
heading to the southern part of America. It felt like it took forever to get there but just a few days
had passed when we docked in Virginia and from there it took an hour by air to reach Louisiana.
I was nervous when we reached the outskirts of the city but when I realized cabs were going into
New Orleans I thought perhaps the damage had not been as bad as it seemed.
A cab took us as far as we could go toward the Ninth Ward where so much of the damage
had been done but we had to travel the rest of the way first on foot and then by air. I just kept
thinking that my eyes had to be playing tricks on me. There was no way that I was seeing what I
thought I was seeing. This was devastation unlike anything since the flood of 1849 with water
topping homes in both the Upper and Lower 9th Wards. The houses were more than glass and
wood. These were entire lives washed out by these waters and when we found a roof we could
stop on I was weeping from the depths of my very soul. How could anyone have survived this,
Lucania? How could this have happened? Why didnt those useless fucking levees hold, huh?
What good are they if they are in place and thislook at this When he tried to take me in his
arms I only shook my head. I wasnt sure if I was refusing his touch or denying that something
like this could have happened to New Orleans but it was the only thing I could do. I wanted to
scream standing there while the flood waters slapped against what was once someones home.
And to have it happen in the 9th Ward where the people could ill afford a loss like this made it a
bitterer pill to swallow. We would fix this. We had to. But we could never replace all of the lives
that the waters took that September.
When we got back to the Quarter Luke went to the theater to make a list of what we needed
to do first in order to start the restoration process. So many people were in shelters and some
were on the streets. As I walked the crumbling sidewalks taking in the fact that this place was
busier than it had ever been even though it was falling apart before my eyes, I listened to the
conversations all over this place. It was the center of our world here. It always had been. When
you wanted a good time, a drink, a chance to let the world go, you came to the Quarter and as I
listened I knew this hadnt changed. People with nothing left at all were inside the bars and
walking the streets and over and over again I kept hearing the same thing. These people from the
Wards were telling their neighbors in this part of the city that the levees were not broken or
breached by the flood waters. They were blown up. When I tried to ask questions no one wanted
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to talk to me about it but finally I did find an elderly man who had lost not only his home and all
of his possessions but also his wife of forty years. He was staying with his son in an apartment in
the Quarter and he was so angry, so bitter, that he had no problem telling me what he knew. He
lived in the block that was closest to the river and he swore that there were men with flashlights,
trucks, all around the levee wall that night and when the hurricane got bad and it seemed
inevitable that somewhere there would be a flood, there was an explosion. Everyone heard it, he
said, and everyone knew that the men running this city where he had taken his first breath and
would take his last had murdered his wife and thousands of others to spare what they saw as
more important places.
I knew it was normal for humans to be furious when something like this happened and when
nature is to blame sometimes stories are made up to lay blame on people so the victims can have
someone to vilify. It is a truth of human nature. But everyone seemed to be saying the same
damned thing. I started walking without a destination but I wasnt surprised when I ended up at
the mayors office in City Hall. I broke in without hesitation and what I found confirmed my
worst fears.
Have you heard what the people are saying in the Wards, Luke? They heard an explosion!
That levee wasnt just breeched by nature, goddamn it, it was blown up by the city to spare the
rich even though it killed the poor. It spared the Quarter and before you say a damned word
about the fact that the Quarter is full of the poor too let me remind you that most of the people
who come from out of town go there because its our Red Light District now so it has its worth!
It also spared The Garden District so to these men it was worth it. It is not worth it to me! That is
not the way it went in our city! If there was a hurricane, a flood, all of us were in it together, we
were all at risk, but when it was all over we pulled together and we cleaned up the mess as a
community. So I went out to investigate the men running the city to find out what sort of New
Orleanians would do this to their own city and guess what I discovered. The same men we turned
to cold blooded murder to protect the people from forty years ago are running the city and this
time they are doing it legally. They are in all the offices, their sons are acting as mayor and city
council members, and they do not give a damn about the natives here, the people who have roots
so deep in this place that even weve forgotten where their ancestors came from. As long as the
Quarter draws the drunken tourists and the Garden District stands with their mansions intact the
rest of the city and everyone who lives here can drop dead for all they care. It doesnt matter to
them!
You truly believe all of that? He asked.
I broke into the mayors office. I spent two hours in complete darkness looking through files
he had hidden in a safe. It was a crap safe, nothing at all to break it
How did you do it, Arianne? Luke asked quietly.
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I tore the fucking door off! How else? But I found page after page, file after file that was
full of proof that these men in office are laundering the money given to them by the federal
government to make the city safe into bank accounts for themselves. They are involved in scores
of illegal activities all over the state. They do whatever the hell they please and the people here
fear them just as they feared their fathers before them.
We sat in silence with the abandoned theater above us. While it had done tolerably well
during the 1920s it fell into a state of disrepair again during World War II like so much of the
Quarter around it and it seemed symbolic to me that this place that was like a physical
representation of the hopes, the dreams I had the first night I came two hundred and twenty years
before, was now nothing more than another old dilapidated building that had seen better days.
So what do you want to do? It seems to me that we have to stay. Well help rebuild the Wards
and the surrounding areas and then well restore this place and make it grand again
No. We will stay to rebuild. Well do it with our bare hands if the people cannot because
there is no way in hell Im giving money to this city knowing what I know, that the people who
need it will never see it. But when were done, we are leaving. This place is not ours anymore.
There are scores of vampires here but not a damned one is up to any good. They are young,
reckless fledglings, nothing like us. And because the bastards who pose a threat have found a
way to do what they want using the law we cant stop them unless we kill them. Ive shed
enough blood here. After the way things happened when we went home the last timeI just
cant do this anymore. The dream I had? Its dead. Well help the people. If this happens again
one day we will come and help once more. But the theater can crumble for all I care. None of
this is ours anymore.
In the following nights Luke tried to change my mind about everything. He hired contractors
and construction workers to fix the theater and I fired them on the spot. He took me out away
from the Quarter that at that time was becoming a slum to places where the beauty of the city
existed just as I remembered it and then he brought me back to that special place that could never
fall so far apart that I couldnt recognize its beauty as well and of course I admitted that New
Orleans was the best place on earth while I stood in his embrace watching street musicians play
the jazz I loved so much but my mind wasnt changing. It was my home, yes. The scent of the
river, the smell of the food and the vomit-soaked streets, the flowers in the gardens, all of this
was so ingrained on my soul that I would forever associate it with the home we worked so hard
to build and rebuild, to protect and save, and I would always return when my people here needed
me even though they never knew when I left. I knew. I knew when I left New Orleans a better
place than it had been when I arrived and no matter how low my spirits sank about her future,
that feeling was irreplaceable. But knowing I had no choice short of assassination and thinking
back on the 1930s when Luke nearly lost his mind over what we had done the decade before I
knew that this was one battle I could not stick around to fight. However, that didnt mean there
was nothing I could do. What Luke didnt know was that while he was going around talking to
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the people who were left homeless by the hurricane, adding up the figures for the reconstruction,
I was talking to people who could still stop what was happening.
In the Quarter in the back of bars and laundry mats I found the women I was looking for, the
women who continued to practice the new magic that had made Kila and me so proud the first
time we saw it. At first they refused to speak to me and why not? Who was this strange white
woman coming up to them asking about their secret religion anyway? But soon they realized that
I knew more than they imagined about the city and the craft they practiced. I knew about the
politicians and I knew how to make a spell or two of my own though the names we called out
and the roots of our religion were quite different from one another. In this way I did get their
attention. I could not kill to stop the men in office, I could not resort to crime as I had before, and
times had changed to the point where there was no longer a chance that two vampires could
come into the city and override the authority of those in power as we had centuries before. But I
could follow these women into the cemeteries and I could stand with them as they petitioned
their deities and I called out to mine to end the corruption, the destruction that was tearing the
city apart. This is what I could do. And when I stood with the women in Lafayette No. 1 listening
to them chant, when I said my chants as they listened, when we sat in the back of a laundry mat
talking about our differences in tools and herbs and I was given a Gris-Gris bag much like the
herbal bags I had watched Kila make in the past, I felt at last like there was hope. There was a
chance that New Orleans would overcome, that magic would make the people stronger, and there
was a chance that I could leave with my sanity intact knowing I had done something that made a
difference after all.
When we left we had set up funds to help restore the Quarter though I still insisted that the
theater be left alone. I had the sounds of the citys music ringing in my head, the Gris-Gris bag
for long life around my neck, and the memories of those amazing women who had taken the time
to listen to me when even Luke didnt really believe what I had found. I still felt the despair. I
was uncertain about the future for New Orleans and my place in it. But I felt like we were both in
better shape than we had been in when I first saw the devastation that Hurricane Betsy had
brought to my shores.
As soon as we got back home Luke turned his attention toward fixing something else he saw
as a problem and he used his phone to make a call one morning before we went to bed requesting
that electricity be wired all throughout Kilas house. He insisted he would pay whatever the man
on the other end of the phone requested if a crew come out immediately and run the wiring and
install light fixtures in what was only the top floor of her house. He told me he could do the rest
of the work later if she decided she wanted it but she would murder him if he allowed mortal
strangers into the house beyond that point. She had stayed over with us because she wanted to
hear all about New Orleans, she said, and we had come home too late to tell her otherwise he
wouldnt have done this thing at all. He would have known better than to invite them in while
she lay sleeping below them. After calling his solicitors in Paris and answering a series of
questions he always instructed them to ask when someone called saying they were him since no
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one at that office had ever laid eyes on him, he made sure the money would get to the company
and that night it was an ear-piercing scream from below us that woke me from my dead sleep.
When I rushed down, though, I found that it was only Kilas reaction to what Luke had done. It
was so strange to see even one floor of her house lit up by electricity. But, as Luke decided our
own wiring and outlets were in desperate need of an upgrade and we stayed with her while the
work was done, she worked each night installing electricity in the other floors of her house
putting in outlets with just a little help from Luke. By watching the men finish up at our house
the first evening that they were up there she had figured out how the work was done and before
we went home her entire house had been brought into the modern world in this way.
Just one week later, Luke also decided that he was tired of being the only vampire with a
telephone so he had this installed as well at her house, this time while she slept below the human
workmen. That night around midnight the telephone rang. I knew nothing about Lukes latest
stunt at all and when I answered the phone, I was surprised to hear Kilas voice on the other end.
Tell that fool man of yours that it was stupid of him to set up a deal with the telephone company
to have the device installed here while I slept. At least when he forced electricity on me I wasnt
sleeping right below the ignorant mortals who ran the wiring. If he insists upon painting a bulls-
eye on me he needs to stop matching me with humans. I am starting to take offence to the
implication that only mortals are suitable opponents for me. She paused and I was about to give
some diplomatic response when she finished by saying, And tell him I said thank you. This is
quite convenient isnt it? I still maintain that no vampire needs such a contraption but if I must
pay a bill to keep it I might as well use it.
She hung up then without a goodbye. Even now she ends a call without one. When I asked
her why she has never said hello or goodbye on a phone she replied that its foolish to do that
when the person on the other end is no closer to you physically when the conversation starts and
they dont physically go anywhere because the conversation is over. How could I argue with that
logic?
The rest of the 1960s were spent indulging in the nightlife we found in London while
staying out of the politics of it all. We wanted the scene, the clothes, the music, the books. We
had no desire yet to worry about a war especially since this one would not impact us personally
so while we were proud of this generation that was coming of age and of the way they were
fighting, we left them to it. But we indulged in rock n roll until we were sure that this was
something that would evolve in decades to come, that this was not going away, and Kila and I
were thrilled with our assumption. It was a fun time that carried over into the early 1970s for us
despite the tragic deaths of amazing new talents in rock. When disco started taking over the clubs
we adored and we got tired of the London scene we traded that in for bookstores that stayed open
late in Dublin. There was one in particular that was a used bookstore and a used record store that
Kila and I practically lived in throughout the 70s. It was in this place that two things fell into our
hands that made me think that by the end of the decade, who we were both as vampires and as
witches would soon become part of mainstream society.
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The first item of this nature was actually a record, the self-titled album by Fleetwood Mac
released in 1975. This was the bands first album featuring a woman named Stevie Nicks and it
was Stevies song, Rhiannon, that we heard blaring from the speakers in the record store when
we came in one Saturday night. As soon as we heard the chorus, the two of us went up to the
counter and we asked the owner to start the song again. We were the only people in his shop and
we were his best customers so with just a little persuasion and a promise that we would definitely
buy the record even if we hated the full song, he did as we asked. The two of us stood in the
section where the albums created by bands beginning with F were kept staring down at the
cover at we listened to lyrics in this commercial rock song that were clearly about the Welsh
Goddess Rhiannon. Many elements of Rhiannons myth were woven in. Whats more, the voice
we heard singing all of this seemed to belong to someone not of this world in its beauty and its
power. We bought the album on the spot and when we got home we listened to it over and over
again. We liked all of the songs but it was the music written and sang by the woman named
Stevie Nicks that sold us on the band. We wondered many things about her but we had not yet
started to wonder if she was a witch. That would come later with the release of the album
Rumours in 1977 and a concert we went to in New York. In that moment we thought only that
she was amazingly talented and that we could listen to her sing anything and enjoy it.
A year later the love of the telephone had spread to include Angel and Lucius and Lukes
addiction to television was rivaled only by the addiction to TV that the father of all vampires
had. Because they often talked for hours on the phone about shows (Luke had upgraded our
television set to a colored one six years earlier which only made everything better for him) a
second phone line was installed in the house with its own number. This one was in our bedroom
and it was just for me yet Luke had a tendency to give out the number by mistake so by
November of 76, just four months after I first got it, the number had been changed three times.
The world was moving fast around us and though we had spent nearly thirty years in one place as
far as where we lived, we were moving fast right alongside the world as we devoured the new
things, the music, the culture and spit out only what we couldnt swallow.
A month before Christmas, 1976, the phone rang and I smiled. Yes, Kila, dear. I said
when I answered.
That is so fecking irritating! You could find some other method of practicing your pre-
cognitive skills and give me a chance to say hello!
You dont say hello nor will you ever and it isnt precognition that predicted it was you.
Only two people have this number and Angelus phoned a week ago to tell me he would be
unable to get in touch for a month or more. That left only you unless Luke has given out the
number to my private line again by mistake. As much as he is on his damned line we almost need
a third. He and Lucius are probably on right now discussing last nights footy game. Sheffield
beat Manchester United so when Angel returns he owes Luke and Lucius each ten pounds
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Bleedn Christ, girl! I was only calling to make sure you were home so I didnt waste a trip
up! I have something to show you and it might be very big so clear your schedule for an hour or
so at least.
My god, you are telling me to clear my schedule? Whats happened? Did Stevie release a
solo album? No, that isnt it. I would hear it in the background if it was. Aha, the Beatles are
getting back together, arent they?
I wasnt surprised when she hung up on me and my sarcasm but I couldnt believe she used
her full speed just to appear before me in my bedroom in mere moments and say, The Beatles
back together? Come on. It would take far more than an hour to mourn that act of creative
suicide on Lennons part. Here, arse. Dont ask questions. Dont even read the back. Just read the
book. She demanded as she threw a hard back novel at me before taking a seat beside me on the
bed.
The title made it clear this was a book about vampires, a fictional tale, and I rolled my eyes
wondering why the hell she was acting so serious about a more modern version of Dracula. But
after just one paragraph I knew this book was different. The more I read, the more I felt a strange
combination of fear and elation well up inside of me. When I finished an hour later I sat still and
silent with the book in my lap as I tried to digest all I had just taken in. Do you think its real?
Are we holding in our hands a novel about real vampires?
I dont know. If I were forced to answer just based upon what is contained in that book, the
description of vampires, the way they are portrayed by a human author, I would say yes. There
are some inaccuracies but if she was told this story by one of the vampires that is to be expected.
Most vampires would not be completely honest or totally open with a human about everything in
his life even if he did trust her enough to give her all that is there. I have never heard a human
talk about our bodies like that before, Arianne. Dropping her voice to a whisper she said, She
even mentioned the blood tears!
Do you think one of the vampires was her lover once? Or do you suppose the main
character just got tired of the darkness and he searched until he found one person who could
bring him into the light? I asked, handing her the book at last.
I dont know what I think. I dont know what to think of any of it. What sort of mortal
woman could fall in love with
Here she let her words trail off as I looked at her with a bitter smile. What sort, indeed. If
this novel was a real story and the author did love one of the characters I pitied her. Losing love
is always painful but to know that you held in your hands the chance to love for all time and you
lost that? Well, that is simply unbearable. It has become a best seller very quickly, this tale. I
have never heard the names of the male vampires from the pages there but even Lucius could not
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keep track entirely of the blood line so of course I know only a handful I suppose compared with
the amount of vampires that truly exist. Should we show the others and see what they say?
I looked straight ahead as I thought of this, all of it. I suppose we will have to but dont get
your hopes up that any of them, even Lucius, will be able to predict the future of this. We shall
have to wait and see if this will change things for real vampires for the better or the worst, if it
changes anything at all. The author has too much talent to have just one book in her career. Well
see more work from her. People will learn her name. But you know that already and that is why
youre worried. Only time will tell, Kila. Maybe this human woman has opened the door on all
of us and by her hand, her words, we will be brought out of the shadows at last. At this we both
laughed. It was ludicrous and the words were meant as a joke. We had no idea the way that
things would change because of this mortal and her golden pen.
Two months later Fleetwood Mac released the album Rumours and it was when we heard
the lyrics to songs like Dreams, Silver Springs, and even Gold Dust Woman, though we knew
there was more talk of dope than divinity in that one, that Kila and I started whispering over the
possibility that perhaps this beautiful young woman was a sister of the old ways. Luke, Lucius,
and Angel had read the vampire novel we gave them and they all declared that they doubted
there was truth to it, not because it was completely impossible but because one character was
given a name that seemed too unique to be made up as an alias yet Lucius had never heard of
him before. With the books inclusion of New Orleans, though, Kila and I still were not
convinced it was total fiction and now we had this bright young singer who we suspected could
be a witch. All of this seemed a little frightening and also glorious at the same time, like magic
of some kind was slowly trying to return to the world despite the strange modern advances or,
perhaps, even in correlation with them. Four months after the albums release Angel sent us three
tickets and a note telling us only to enjoy. The tickets were for a Fleetwood Mac concert on June
29
th
at Madison Square Gardens in New York City. It would take something like five hours to
get there by plane but it was the only way we could travel no matter the incredible risks to us and
we all decided that since this was one area we had not explored yet, travel in this way, and since
it was a show that was sure to stick with Kila and me for years to come, we would pack some
clothes and go. We had just a week before the concert and luckily it was enough for Luke to get
us passports with pictures he himself had taken of us using a new camera with film he could
barely expose to develop. This was the last camera ever invented that has been able to capture a
vampire but that was one of many things changing. For the time being, we had passports and
I.Ds indicating we could drive, we had fake numbers assigned to all people at birth in this
modern world and certificates proving we existed though all else on the documents were lies. We
were ready, we thought, for anything.
I found the ride easier than the first car ride I was ever on and I was absolutely amazed
when we arrived in New York City just hours later. The following night was the show so the
three of us decided to have a look at how the place had changed since the few years we spent
there thirty years earlier. Kila showed us the building where John Lennon lived and the three of
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us hit the place called Greenwich Village that we had heard much about the decade before all the
way in London. It was interesting but what had once been a cool community of creative people
and outcasts now seemed like a place full of junkies killing themselves to hold on to something
that had passed. We moved on to hunt and afterward we met back, the three of us, at a coffee
shop where Luke told us that he had heard there was a group of witches that met nearby to
perform their rituals for the Sabbats and the Esbats, Dianic witches they were called as they were
feminist in nature and they worshipped primarily the Goddess with the God being treated
secondary at best. While we did not personally practice this way, we could see the root of such a
belief considering the lopsided worship that had gone on for almost two thousand years with
male energy being worshipped without praise to the Goddess in her own right at all. We made
no move to find these witches but it warmed us to know that they, and possibly others, were
there.
The following evening we came as soon as we could to the Garden and for an hour and a
half or so we watched these people we had heard only on records from a fairly close distance.
There was a vibe coming from Stevie as soon as we sat and Kila and I smiled when we saw that
around her neck she wore a crescent moon necklace. She was high, clearly, but this seemed
irrelevant to what we saw before us. However, it was her performance of Gold Dust Woman that
night that seemed to prove to us what we believed. It was something in the way she moved, in
the look in her eyes that started it but it was the vampiric-like wail that came out of her at the end
of the song, the way that her voice changed into this beautifully haunting version of itself, that
convinced us, since we could tell by looking at her that she is no vampire, we were right about
her being a witch. Kila and I have seen many concerts, both with the band and by herself, since
that first time and we have yet to hear her make such a sound again. Perhaps it was a fluke,
something that she was only able to do once on that night as we watched on, but it was more than
the sound itself. It was everything about her. To be fair, Stevie denied being a witch in the late
1980s though it wasnt accepted yet to come out and say anything else. Even though it was legal
it could have been career suicide to admit such a thing. But whether she is or whether she is not,
she is by far the most magical woman, literally and metaphorically, that I have ever seen on a
stage in my entire existence. And witches today still love her.

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Chapter 14
We were supposed to go home to Scotland after that night but instead it was decided with
the energy of the show still pulsing through us that we would buy a car and drive from one end
of America to the other. The truth is, I had never had a desire to see anything beyond New
Orleans and this hadnt changed. But talk of witches and the music we heard led to a discussion
about Salem, Massachusetts and an open outspoken witch there who had opened a shop selling
supplies for magic in 1971, a shop we had also heard about during our last nights hanging around
London. Kila wanted to see all of this. And she agreed with Luke that there was no time like the
present to see the rest of the country as well. So we set off, going first to Salem where we
enjoyed our time and we were amazed by the shop but soon we moved on, spending the better
part of nine years driving from town to town, state to state, seeing all we had ignored for years.
Cassette tapes joined records but tapes could be played in a car so we traded in our second
vehicle for our third to get the tape deck inside and Kila and I bought tapes wherever we could
find them. I didnt even mind driving. I had bought a camera and I took pictures when I could.
We slept many times in the ground because no modern invention had yet solved our problem
with traveling during the day. We were happier during these years than I ever thought we could
be on the road and somehow we managed to keep up on the things we loved. Kila and I knew
about Stevies solo record and we bought the album adding it to the things we sometimes sent to
our house in Scotland, we kept up with the vampire authors work even when it seemed as if she
would never write another book about vampires, and Luke kept the television on constantly
when we stopped at motel rooms. We called Angel and Lucius in their corners of the world and
we smiled when they wished us safe travels through the wires. We really were having a blast.
Fashion was changing in a way that made Kila and I search second hand stores for all of our
clothes until we looked as if we were copying our favorite singer even though she hadnt lived
through some of the decades that had inspired her as we had. The amount of makeup we had to
wear was not out of place, the sunglasses we wore sometimes even at night were never
questioned, and all of America was doing its own thing. It was a good time.
Theater and musicals were doing well toward the end of this decade and I found myself
going when I could, sometimes thinking of the times so far in the past it was hard to imagine
why I should think of them anymore at all, and sometimes I thought only of the new high esteem
actors were held in that amazed me still and the interesting new things I saw before me. I also
went when Luke asked us to join him for the latest films in the movie theaters. I saw the decade
pass by, it seemed, on the screen before me. From Xanadu in 1980 to the Brat Pack films of the
mid-1980s and futuristic films like Terminator toward the end of the decade. I studied them in
relation to society while Luke got lost in each one no matter how boring it was and Kila was
bored to death no matter how good. To her credit, the only film she ever completely walked out
on was Highlander after less than thirty minutes of the movie, calling it Total shite as she left.
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Whatever her motive behind leaving, we went after her and to this day I have never seen the rest
of that film. But these were the sorts of things that seemed again to fill up our nights; changing
music, changing styles, and a society that could be found, if we looked hard enough, in each
aspect of its art which is usually the case with any decade.
In 1990 we found ourselves again in New York and this time it was decided we would stay.
But even with a permanent residence little changed in the way we experienced the world even if
things were again changing in the world that we experienced. Thanks to MTV I became hooked
on a new style of rock called Grunge in those early days of that decade but I was also fond of hip
hop and some pop as well. The three of us often went out to clubs and bars but now when we
came home Kila sometimes brought back human men for the first time in all the years I had
known her. This was such a shock, those first few one night stands as they are called, that I
couldnt help but ask her one night as we hunted what had changed. She was silent for the
longest time as we headed toward Central Park where we sometimes saved lives by taking the
lives of the guilty until she finally replied softly, Gavin left Ayr twenty years ago. One night
Rapunzel came and the next night he left with her and another vampire, a Creole looking young
man who was probably not quite thirty when he was turned. Thats why I havent minded all the
travel and I feel like I could spend years yet away from home and I would do just fine.
I was with you then. Why the hell didnt you say something to me? I questioned, shocked
by this revelation.
What should I have said? Dear, you know that man who has no idea I am still alive, that
man who probably forgot about me centuries ago if he ever remembered me at all? Hes left
town.?
Yes. I replied simply. But she only waved me away as if this were absurd as she went
toward her marked victim and I found one of my own. She never talked about it again but she
continued bringing home mortal men for a night of play and indeed she did not ask to go home at
all.
When computers became the new rage, we bought one and while Luke showed little interest
in it, Kila and I loved the technology though compared with todays it was meager indeed. She
learned how to get this thing called internet that connected us to people and pages all over the
world and we played with this for hours pondering as we always did where this thing might go.
We were also keeping up with our beloved author who was now putting out vampire novels
annually it seemed. Then one night, just before Samhain in 1995, Luke announced suddenly that
he and I were taking a trip though he assured me we wouldnt be gone very long. I hated to leave
Kila but it was almost like the two of them had planned this between themselves. Still I thought
nothing of it even as he asked me to close my eyes for the ride through the air, something we
hadnt done in a long time.
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As soon as I smelled the sweet air, the dank and musty smell of the river, I knew where he
had taken me and I smiled despite myself. Ah, were home. I said softly, laying my head
against his chest and opening my eyes for the first time. It had been so long. Too damned long
Yes. And I have quite a surprise for you. Tomorrow night there is to be a ball, a ball of a
most extraordinary kind, a ball that you will not want to miss for all the world. ..
I laughed despite myself as I took hold of his hand and began to walk the strange new streets
in our familiar world. Enough with the pretty words, my love. Get to it. Why are you making
this sound as though it is the most extraordinary event I shall ever attend? Its true enough that it
has been a while since Ive been to a ball but it isnt as if it is my first time.
Ah, but this one is different. This one is a vampire ball.
I stopped suddenly and I spun on my heels to face him, lowering my voice so that no mortal
passing on the busy sidewalk could hear me. You dont mean to say that our kind has
comeout? The very thought filled me with horror for there was only one vampire mad enough
to orchestrate something like that and it seemed all too fitting that he should do it in the paradise
I once tried to build for us all.
No, of course not! It is being hosted by that womanthe one who wrote the books of
vampires quite like us? It is a ball for her mortal fans, a time when they come dressed like
vampires with their faces painted white and their delightful plastic fangs in place to celebrate
Halloween in the most fantastical fashion. But there will be other true immortals there. Angel is
coming and perhaps Lucius as well. It was Kila who learned of it and the two of us made our
plans to surprise you with this that very night. It has been hell keeping all of this from you these
past few months. It is in its seventh year, this ball, and the more she read of it the more she knew
we all had to come out. This woman did what Kila once dreamed of doing. She took us out of the
crypts and the nightmares and she made the mortal world love us, long for us, sing our praises
upon their soft warm lips. Now she has, without realizing it, given us one night a year in the city
we once dreamed of our kind calling home to come out as ourselves, our true selves, and dance
among those who will believe that we are nothing more than mortals out for a night of fun. This
is a night of celebration, little beauty, and celebrate we shall until the doors close and the dawn
drives us away!
We rented a room close to St. Elizabeths Orphanage where this ball was going to take
place in twenty four short hours and we marveled at the amazing blinds that could be pulled
down with a remote and could block out all rays of light. Then we went like laughing children
out into the night. I thought we were going to buy costumes and when Luke led me to the
Quarter, the place that held the oldest memories of our Eden for us, I was quite confused. But
when I mentioned the confusion he only laughed at me. You are going to have your finery. You
will appear as you once did in extravagant red velvet with the bodice a bit too low. But all of the
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good shops are overrun with mortals who do not have the connections I have. Wait until
tomorrow and you shall see your gown.
As we danced to the music in the bar and eyed the humans who would help us replenish our
strength that night, I thought about a night long passed when I sat waiting for him to return to the
house in France with another surprise dress made of velvet for a ball that was his goodbye. And
as I walked around the packed room stealing blood in small amounts from anyone I could get
close to, I felt a strange mixture of sadness and excitement well up inside of me. How would I
feel when I went to the ball without the makeup I wore always in the electric lights? How would
I feel as I danced openly for the first time as a vampire knowing in my heart that it was truth
even as the people looked on believing it was an illusion? To be exposed in this way seemed like
the most decadent form of sin I had ever committed yet I willed myself to feel no guilt just as I
had never known guilt all the times I left a cold body to rot in the night. But as we walked back
to the room taking in all the changes I couldnt help it that behind my eyes lurked the image of a
human girl cast out in blue velvet who would have cringed at this and argued with the pretty
monster her lover made.
I was a bundle of nerves as soon as my eyes opened that night. The lights were turned on
and Lukes dear friend the television was buzzing with its chatter in that way I found almost
intolerable. But aside from the voices coming from the screen I was alone in the room. Mentally
I searched for him, calling out to him as loudly as I could in my mind and feeling him close by.
My eyes darted to the door as soon as it opened but it wasnt Lukes figure they fell upon. I
couldnt help but gasp to look at my beloved friend made up in the emerald green silk that suited
her perfectly. How preternatural she looked with her strange eyes lined in black and ruby red
lipstick contrasting against her death white skin. Her wild red curls were flowing free down the
length of her back and around her neck she wore a necklace with a symbol of the Goddess
displayed proudly. Anyone who looked at her would have to know the truth. No amount of
makeup or plastic could ever make a human look quite like this! I didnt notice the garment bag
draped across her arm because in all of the years I had known her, this was the first time I had
ever seen her look so damnedvampiric. Will you stop looking at me like youve just caught
me eating your cat? You look like a scared little girl and I havent the time for that attitude! It
isnt like youve never seen me before, you damned fool. Youve only been away from me a
night! Here!
With that she tossed the bag at me and sat on the edge of the bed but I could tell that she
was feeling the same way I was. Vampire ball or not, there was no way we would ever be able to
pull this off. You look more beautiful than I have ever seen you look before. But you looklike
we look. I think Luke has gone mad with this idea of going without the makeup. Even if we kill
tonight, and we must if we want to appear somewhat normal for a few hours, we will still look
like we look! I protested.
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Her melodic laughter made me smile. Like vampires, characters from a novel? Yeah, no
kidding. I had a kid in the hall tell me I looked Cool and that it was really cool of me to come
as the red head from the womans book. He was dressed as the mad one from the second book. I
think. Or perhaps he was simply a player of the fiddle with a terrible case of anemia. You know
how those musician types are, as frightened of sunlight as any one of us. Either way, I believe we
are safe for tonight. Now, if you want my help with that thing, and Ive seen it so I know you do,
lets get on with it. We are quickly running out of time.
I could tell by the size of the bag that this was a gown unlike any I had been able to wear in
decades and as I unzipped it, my heart leapt with delight. It looked just as any eighteenth century
Parisian womans fancy gown would look, like something my dear Louiss wife might have
worn with all of her riches to accent it. And I could not wait to put it on. But first there was the
corset that Kila had purchased seeing it as an oversight on Angels part that he hadnt thought of
it himself. So it was Angel who found it? I asked as she laced me up tighter than any human
could stand it.
Found it? He made it! And why should you sound surprised? As we both know
He has always had all the fashion sense of the male line in this family. I finished for her,
grinning wide. Yes, this was what I wanted to feel on this magical night, the throb of bliss inside
my tired veins.
She helped me with the dress and when she was through, she took me to the bathroom
where a full length mirror hung upon the wall. My god, I looked just as I might have on that cold
night three hundred years ago that refused to let me go. No, I corrected myself, you do not.
Because you were human then I had to walk away at that moment in order to silence the voice
inside my mind that was trying to ruin everything by comparing me to the child I had been. Kila
lined my eyes just as she had her own and for my lips she chose a beautiful shade of pink that
was unlike anything I had seen in a tube before. With some rouge and the blood I was about to
procure for the evening I might pass as the most attractive corpse outside of St. Louis Number
One. The thought made me smile.
When I stepped into the hall with a gorgeous ruby choker around my throat I felt like a
queen of the undead. Kila and I made quite the pair side by side but as we walked down the hall
where some mortals were congregating to discuss their plans for the evening, I saw no suspicion
in the eyes of those we passed. Some whispered of our dresses, one girl commented on Kilas
beautiful contact lenses, and two college-aged boys made cat calls but no one shrank away
from us. And when Luke emerged I felt that same rush I felt the very first time I saw him. I
didnt even notice Angel at his side. There was only this beautiful creature with eyes that could
read my soul dressed in his leather breeches, his white shirt of cotton and lace, and his red velvet
coat lying perfectly against his form. He left his hair down for the night and this only added to
the mystery that was Lucania. A vampire over three thousand years old with the strength enough
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to take out all of the people around us, a killer who could blend in with them all, a beautiful man
with a beast that lived within, that was who he was. And though I had seen him every night for
damned near three centuries and I had loved him for all time, I felt as if I were falling in love
with him right there in that hotel hallway all over again. When he pressed me to him, I breathed
in the cologne he sprayed on his clothes and I smiled. You look even more radiant than I
thought you would. Do you like the gown?
I love it. I replied honestly. But more importantly, I love you. Tonight will be
wonderful, wont it?
Breaking our embrace and taking my hand, he smiled over his shoulder at me as we walked.
Of course it will be. Whats the matter? You soundsad.
No, not at all. I just seem to be thinking a great deal on a girl I used to know and a ball that
she went to many lifetimes ago.
Before he could ask questions, Angel jumped in at last taking hold of my other hand and
telling me how he had missed me. We all went our separate ways on the street to hunt hitting
parts of the city where a dead body found in the morning would raise little suspicion knowing all
too well that details concerning the death, like the complete draining of blood, would never be
released in the newspaper or on television as it never was. I picked a man with death on his mind
feeling as if it was nice to share this moment with someone I had that in common with. But as I
sunk my fangs into his neck I did not see his crimes of the past even though I knew they were
there. I watched myself as I had drifted through these very streets in all those times before. I
remembered my hopes, my plans, and I wondered if this was at last the pinnacle of what I had
always wanted. I felt starved for the hot liquid on my tongue, the bitterness, the way that it slid
down my throat, as I thought of all the growing up New Orleans and I had done together and as I
made sure the marks were gone from the victims neck, I decided the city and I had both turned
out to be pretty amazing women of the night.
I felt my confidence restored as I met up with the others and we walked in one line arm and
arm toward our destination. As we stood in line we discussed absentmindedly things that we had
heard in music and the latest shows Luke was devouring on television. But all the while we were
watching the people around us. Outside it was dark compared with what I imagined it would be
like within but under the cover of night we truly did look like many of the people there. Even our
nails, so much like glass, did not stick out among this crowd. When we walked in through a
hallway of sorts where we appeared under the lights for the first time I noticed again that no one
seemed to realize what we were! People were dressed in all manners of costumes and they were
all absorbed in the good time they planned to have. But when we entered the main room I was
finally able to relax at last. As if this author truly had the characters from her books milling about
in the crowd that night, she had been considerate enough to make sure the lights were dim.
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As soon as we walked in I heard sounds of the music of the city, the music that only New
Orleans could produce, and I began to dance as others were dancing, all of us ready to party
though the party itself had not yet begun. I moved in the way that was native to me now as the
fancy movements of the centuries past had once been and I grinned as Luke took hold of my hips
and moved with me. When the music faded I was disappointed but when a man took the stage
welcoming everyone, including the vampires, with his fangs and his cape and his dark red lips I
knew that this truly was going to be a night that I would never forget.
A group of musicians took the stage after the man walked off and I smiled to see them
dressed in periods of clothing that ranged from Kilas time to my own. The song they played was
mellow, pretty, something I thought Kila might like. And probably she would have if she had
bothered to listen to it. Instead she whispered to me, Shes wearing my dress! gesturing to the
young girl singing.
Looking from the stage that was only feet in front of me over at my friend I stated what I
thought was obvious. That looks nothing at all like your dress, you damned drama queen! How
old are you? And you cant tell that the two are not from the same era at all?
It does look like it no matter what era its from and I think Leaning into my ear she
whispered, I think I am going to follow her outside the first chance I get and show her what a
mistake it is to come to a vampire ball wearing the same dress as a Highland vampire queen.
The absurdity of her words combined with the absurdity of the situation made me laugh. I
dont mean that I chuckled and went back to the song. No. I mean I started to laugh in that
hysterical way that only vampires or madwomen can laugh until I had to move away from the
crowd completely and take my ass outside because trying to hold it back was no longer an
option. Everyone followed me of course and they found me doubled over with a crowd of
humans standing a bit at a distance laughing at the sight of me. Kila started to laugh as well as
soon as she saw me and realized why I had come outside and there was nothing we could do but
let it out and wait for it to pass. Never in all of my wildest dreams had I thought a night like this
could exist and my delightful insane moment witnessed by drunken people outside of some
makeshift tent only added to my pleasure. When we were through Luke and Angel could only
shake their heads at us as we walked as composed as statues back into the venue.
We came back in at the end of the bands last song and Kila and I watched as the violin
player made some magic with his instrument. When I looked over at her I caught her looking at
the mortal boy in a way that made me fear for him and I knew that by the end of the night we
would turn around to find her missing and one of two things would happen. She was either going
to fuck him or she was going to kill him but either way he would never be the same come
daybreak. Hes rather good. She said with a smile when she caught me staring at her.
Yes, I can see you appreciating his work quite clearly. I replied sarcastically and she
flashed her sly look at me that meant she knew that I knew what she was up to. It was in that
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moment that I realized something truly had overtaken us. In this dark room with people dressed
like us all around we had lost all sense of propriety and all the lines were blurred until there
seemed there were no lines left to cross.
When the band left the stage, the four of us decided to walk around and see the whole of this
amazing building that was once run down and full of sadness that one could feel as you passed
by. I cannot begin to describe the feeling that came over me as we moved toward the stairs, the
memories of the city that were now blocking out those terrible thoughts of my own past self.
With the people in their finery and the thoughts of a time before even this old building was
standing it was as if I was in a time warp gone back to the nights when I thought anything was
possible here. And then I heard the music coming from above. My god, why now, I wondered.
Why in this moment did I have to hear an old tune that was just right once for dancing? Grabbing
Kilas hand, I pushed past the people in our way taking the stairs two at a time until I saw
something that made me freeze inside a doorway. People were dancing. In ball gowns
appropriate for a century gone by and in a way that we danced then they were moving and
though this looked so choreographed that it had to be a part of this great show, I waited until the
men joined us and I forced them all onto the floor. Yes! I thought as we moved as perfectly to
the music as those around us who had probably trained for months to do this. Yes, take me back!
It was a dance I knew well, one we all had done, and Luke moved with me just as divinely
as he had all those times before. We hadnt lost our touch for this in the madness of the modern
world that we were forced to embrace. My god it felt good! And for just a moment I closed my
eyes and I was so lost in the past that I could actually smell the beeswax candles burning around
us by the dozens. Yet when I opened them to the present I felt no disappointment because this
moment was in fact the realization of my old dream for the city and at long last in the arms of
New Orleans we had found a place where vampires could be vampires and humans would
embrace them the best way they knew how. It was then, when the music stopped and I turned
around, that I saw the beautiful human woman who had made all of this come true. I was drawn
to her just as I had been drawn into this strange moment and so I let my feet propel me forward
as I studied every detail of her face.
Since the first book came out Kila and I had talked of her, of our doubts as to how much
fiction was really in her words. How did she know so much, this woman? How were her
vampires so like us, the truth, when all the others before had been hallow imitations of our kind?
Long ago we had decided that she was simply a brilliant human with a limitless imagination and
she had done something others had not. She had simply looked at us as we would look at
ourselves. She had thought about the way our bodies might appear based upon what the modern
world knew of a human body and of death and a combined knowledge of these facts laced with
what vampires might be able to do led her to a pretty good analysis of what vampires would be if
we truly walked the night. But as I looked into her eyes I found myself doubting that. Had she
not grown up in this city, the place where all vampires were meant to come at least once when
we settled it? If her characters were not simply fiction, if they did truly exist, would it be such a
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stretch? Perhaps the main one, the one whose name had taken literature by storm, had come to
her and she had found herself drowning in his immortal eyes unable to stop herself from loving
him completely. Had I not once been a beauty who gave her heart to a beast? I knew better than
most how easy it was to do. When I realized she was looking at me, I smiled at her. Yes, there
was something in her eyes, wisdom beyond her years, and she had to have acquired that from
someplace Thank you. I said softly, simply. I could not bear her presence anymore, not with
what I felt just then. So I walked past her knowing I would never have another chance to tell her
just what she had done for us all.
Come, you need to get out for a bit. Kila said as soon as we were free of that room and the
danger had passed to confess all to the woman who had accomplished what Kila and I could not
for vampires and New Orleans. I let my friend lead me out because she was right. I needed out of
there. I needed to be submerged once more in the present, in reality, before I did something that
could destroy our kind forever.
Outside the air was warmer than it would be at Kilas fortress. It was warmer than it would
be in Lukes old house in France that he refused to give up. It held no hint of fall but I knew
enough of the place to know that summer would give way to winter without a real interlude. I
followed the sound of an energetic brass band and I felt the excitement swell up in me once
more. I forgot my friends, my lover, as I followed the music to the tent that I had stood against
during my moment of crazy laughter. Like the laughter, I needed this. Things had simply become
too intense in there. But no heart could be heavy with a sound like this pumping into the brain,
not even one that refused to beat. I found myself moving again in the way that this music
demanded, the smooth movements of an immortal body that could go in perfect time with any
music and without a bit of thought. I was lost in it and when I felt cold hard arms around me I
had to do something I usually never thought of doing in public places. I turned around to make
sure it was Luke or, at the least, a vampire I knew because I was no longer sure that we were the
only ones who thought to come and masquerade. When I realized it was my love, I laced my
arms with his and I delighted in the feeling of his body against mine. Are you having a good
time, little beauty? He whispered seductively into my ear.
I nearly trembled at the sound of it. How long had it been since his voice last made me
weak? Reaching up and turning my head, I pulled him down for a kiss. Ask me tomorrow
because tonight Im too confused. The only thing Im sure of is that I want you to hold me like
this for all time. I replied meaning every word of it.
For a moment he looked worried but then he kissed me once more and gave me a grin as we
continued to move our bodies as one to the music. Kila and Angel were dancing as well, Kilas
laughter putting a smile on her partners face. They looked good together. Like a brother and
sister making the best of being dateless at the big Halloween party. I had no doubt that this was
intentional on Kilas part. She would chase after no man, mortal or otherwise, but just because
she wasnt actively looking for him that did not mean she had forgotten the violinist from the
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stage. When the music changed to a song that had a faster tempo, I moved to face Luke and we
got so lost in each other that I gave no more thought to our dear pals. But when the music
stopped and I realized Angel was talking to a young girl who clearly had a pulse, I knew Kila
had at last hit her target.
I had no idea what she was doing with the violinist though somehow I knew she would not
leave him without a drop of blood spilled. I could have gone in search of her and stopped her
before she sunk her fangs into the man with the mad violin but what was the point? This was a
vampire ball, was it not? The people had every right to get what they came for. So I took Lukes
hand and walked with him back into the building leading him toward the stage where a new band
had just come on. As soon as the music began, I was held spellbound by it. The woman standing
before the microphone looked so small, so fragile, despite her exotic clothes and the vampire
appearance she had put on for the night. But when she opened her mouth and I heard her sing all
I could think of was that I had never heard such a voice before. At least not from a human. Still I
did not catch on. Kila and Angel found us and when I looked over at her I saw that she had been
clumsy enough to leave a drop of evidence on her mouth. My dear, you have a musician on
your lips. You might want to wipe it away before the body is found. There was no
condemnation in my voice. Only humor.
Wiping at the spot, she laughed. I didnt kill him. I only sampled a bit of the goods as I
was taking all the rest.
Well, when he wakes up in the morning with a splitting headache and he realizes he has
had and lost the best experience of his life I am sure he will wish you had killed him. I replied
with a chuckle. But my laughter froze. The woman on the stageMy eyes shot up at once at the
note that she was hitting and when I saw her move I knew what should have been obvious from
that first moment. She was no human woman at all. No, she was one of us. The skin, the eyes,
her handsand that voice, the voice that only a vampire can ever truly have. Looking around I
saw the proof written on the faces of all those poor souls around us. They were lost in her spell.
Even the woman with the magic pen who was sitting near the stage was not immune. She had no
idea! Perhaps her characters were just a product of her mind. But why would this vampire, this
group of vampires really because it was clear her band was the same as she, come and do this
before an audience of humans? As I scanned the faces I quickly saw the answer. Standing in a
corner on the other side of the vast room was Aurelio dressed all in black with a grotesque mask
of red held in his hand. The smug bastard was looking right at us and when he smiled as if he at
last had what he wanted, I moved as fast as my body could go with no thought for anyone or
anything else.
I chased him outside but I found myself in the middle of a damned procession. The drums
and the horns that I normally loved so much now sounded to me like a death march as I tried to
get past them. I had to get out, I had to find him! Eyeing the building I had just fled from, I
realized it would be nothing to scale the wall and I prayed like hell that no one noticed as I used
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a combination of climbing and levitation to reach the roof. On the other side in the street he
waited for me. He stood stock still with the terrible mask held up to his face mocking me as the
music seemed to rise and thump like a chant in my brain. I jumped. What else could I do? I had
never been this messy, this obvious, but I had never been this determined either. Of course he
was already moving at his own top speed when I landed but I launched forward following the
feeling of him into every alley, every road that he ran. It wasnt until I found myself at the river
bank very close to the place where I took my first life in this city that I truly accepted my defeat.
The others would be tracking me already and soon they would come and I would have to tell
them how once again the bastard who created chaos and destruction everywhere he went had
eluded us. To my knowledge he had never entered New Orleans before. Now that he had, now
that he had brought with him a beautiful band of vampires who were willing to hold an entire
room spellbound before cameras and reporters, it was clear that the paradise I had once dreamed
of really was lost to us. His very presence there tainted everything I wanted for it. And no
amount of balls or incredible works of fiction would ever bring it back.
I walked the land with the water at my side searching for only one thing. I needed that easy
kill that would make this terrible ache disappear if only for a moment. I kept thinking that this
night was not supposed to end this way. It was supposed to be a realization of a dream and
instead it had been twisted into yet another nightmare. But when I saw a man sitting there on the
bank with a fishing pole between his legs I felt my mood lift just a little. I told myself I was
going to take just a sip from him. He was innocent. He did not deserve to die. But I knew that I
was lying as soon as I looked at that vein throbbing hard in the side of his neck. Slowly I moved
forward, the man so stunned he didnt even try to fight, and I sunk my teeth into his salty skin
feeling the first hint of relief hit me as his skin broke under the weight of teeth. I drank in time
with his heart, fast at first and then slower and slower as I drained the very life from him. He was
a simple man, a good man, his thoughts told me so. New Orleans born and bred. Once he had
wanted to go to the University of New Orleans on a football scholarship he earned his senior
year, play for the Saints after college, but his high school sweetheart got pregnant and he gave it
all up to be her husband and the father his child needed. It was his son he thought of in those last
moments as I sucked at a painfully slow pace waiting for the moment just before his heart
stopped. Yes, he was a good man Shutting his eyes, I slid him softly into the river tossing a
handful of wildflowers in as a token of appreciation to the kind soul my victim had been.
Arianne! I lashed out at whoever dared to turn me away from my small memorial and the
hit I delivered cracked Luke right in the mouth. Looking over my shoulder, he sighed as if my
senseless murder had broken his heart. Give me a fucking break, I wanted to scream, I am what
YOU made me! But I said nothing. Even when he whispered, You didnt! Why? I remained
locked in my silence. In that moment I felt as if I would be fine with never speaking again. Angel
and Kila were nowhere in sight. For all I knew, they could both be ripped to pieces while Aurelio
stood over them having a memorial of his own. And that thought should have frightened me. But
all I could think of was that the city I loved so much was now lost to me forever. I knew I would
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never come back. Not after this night. No imagined loss could hurt like that truth. Luke put his
arm around me just as he had on that terrible night in Paris when I had killed that sweet innocent
girl just because she was Madelines understudy. He didnt shun me. He didnt chastise me. And
he never would. Instead he led me to a place I hadnt seen in thirty years. He led me to the only
place in all the world that my heart called home.
The theater? Why? Why on this night, of all nights, would you bring me back here? Did
you see who I went after? Did you notice that band on the stage? He was here for a bloodbath,
Lucania! He was going to use that band of his to keep them all subdued while he massacred
them! And the woman who brought our kind out of the darkness and as close to redemption as
we will ever get? He was going to kill her too! Why not? As long as Lucius is Satan and we are
all evil he has what he needs in human support alone to kill us all but if people love us, if they
accept that we exist in any capacity, he loses that weapon. This is his game. It has been since he
was born. We are only pieces on the board. And that brilliant woman doesnt even know that
shes turned the tide in our favor when he gets tired of playing games and he decides the time for
battle has begun. Even if she knew a vampire once, what are the chances she knows about that
vile bastard? How many of us do? It takes but one hand to count. Hear no evil, speak no evil, see
no evil. Well, ignore it all you want but it comes at you anyway! She is in great danger and she
has no idea. Now Ive lost this place forever and you bring me here?
Grasping me firmly by the shoulders, he penetrated my very being with his gaze. There was
no outside world in that moment. There was only Luke dressed as he had been that first time my
eyes met his and there was me, the young girl he spent an eternity trying to save. The
understanding I saw in his eyes after what I had just done by the river led me to wonder, not for
the first time, who was the beauty and who was the beast? Sometimes it seemed clear to me that
the darkness that lived within me was so much worse than his bloodlust, that it was he who
brought the light to the love we had trying always to illuminate my darkest moments. And even
losing New Orleans was nothing, really, so long as I always had his light. Youve lost nothing,
do you hear me? This place is more than just a town to us. It is our child. We built it up, we
watched it grow, we nursed it through its hardest days, and when it was ready to stand on its
own, we let it move toward its own destiny. You will not be so weak as to let Aurelio take that
from you! Nor will he ruin this night! Do you not see tonight for what it was regardless of what
happened at the end? For the first time in my existence, I was in a place where thousands of
mortals were pretending to be vampires and the vampires were walking as themselves! And it
happened here just as you said it would! Dont you dare toss away the glory in that like it was
nothing! You have too much strength, too much intelligence, to do something so foolish!
He was right about everything. In moments like those he so often was. So I did not protest
when he led me inside the building we still owned, a building that had been through fires, floods,
and hurricanes, a building that I had allowed to sit empty for over thirty years. In the floors
below where we always had the rooms we built for us and our friends who would come to stay
we made love like teenagers, grasping, groping, crying out over and over again. In the afterglow
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we lay in each others arms as he told me that Kila and Angel had left the vampire ball to collect
our things from New York and that they were headed back to Scotland as soon as they were able
to go. We would join them. There we would discuss what happened with the rogue demon from
hell. But for now he wanted me to put it out of my mind. By sunrise we had decided to renovate
the theater and reopen as soon as it was finished. But I wasnt ready to move back. Not after our
presence there nearly cost the city and our kind so much. When I fell asleep Luke was still
talking of plans, this time plans for a home. A real home. One we could stay in for as long as we
pleased. Something about a frozen wonderland.

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Chapter 15
This home he spoke of was indeed a frozen wonderland sitting on top of the world above a
place called Naryan-Mar, Russia. That town itself was small and isolated enough but the house
stood on a hill even more isolated than the town, a house that had been built, I was told on the
way back to Scotland, at the turn of the century. No one knew who built it or why but it had been
abandoned and while there were difficulties like thousands of miles separating us from a
populated city that wasnt encased in ice most of the year, Luke swore we could make it work
and that he and Angel were going up to oversee the reconstruction of the home that would
include well insulated walls with wood panels, marble floors, and an intricate satellite system he
heard about that cost an incredible amount but would allow us our only chance at having a
phone, internet, and television. All I had to do, he said, was spend a few months with Kila in the
Highlands while all of this was finished. Logically none of this should have sounded like a good
idea. While I knew all too well that isolation was the key to longevity for vampires staying in a
home, I also knew that this sounded quite desolate and even a bit depressing. But something
about it also sounded wonderful. Maybe the recent run-in with Aurelio had me thinking of a
place just like this where we could all gather without him ever guessing where we were if we
needed to or maybe all of the years of travel had simply left me feeling ready to separate myself
from the human world. Whatever it was, as long as I had a state of the art stereo system to match
Lukes satellite and Kila could somehow make sure I had the best of the new music as it came
out, I agreed to wait with Kila and to go when he summoned me up to this place where human
blood or companionship would be difficult to find.
I knew I would miss Luke but when he and Angel went their way in Edinburgh and Kila
and I went ours we were both a little excited for the months of girl time ahead of us. We would
alternate between her place and mine and because we had spent many decades avoiding Ayr like
the plague, we could finally return to that village that was also like home. But after the first night
back when we went to my house, saw all of the years worth of boxes in the living room, and
went the eighty miles or so into the village, now a city in its own right, when we decided we did
not want to unpack just yet the boxes that were blocking the stairs, it was clear within moments
that she wasnt ready to be in Ayr knowing Gavin was gone. She cried all the way home and for
a couple of hours afterward as we played Janis Joplin, Stevie Nicks, and another of our newest
favorites, an amazing female singer/song writer/guitar player named Melissa Etheridge as loud
as the stereo I had shipped back as soon as I bought it on the road around 1988 would go. We
sang and she lamented our inability to get drunk and then we talked about all we had seen since
the end of World War II to temper the sting of the empty house above the sea that sat so far
below us. We would be ok, we assured one another. When the time came for me to leave she was
always welcomed to come along and indeed she said she liked the idea of that and she would
consider it further when the time came for her to decide. In the meantime we had our music and
our technological playthings to occupy our nights.
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When her computer arrived a week later she used a disk and her phone jack to get internet
as we had done in New York but because of our surroundings we hadnt been sure that getting it
was possible at all. We were as happy as kids when it worked and we spent a few nights in her
place to play with it. It was during this time that she came upon news of a Beltane Fire Festival
that was modeled after the ancient Pagan rites she could still remember from her youth that had
gone on every year since 1988. We decided that whether we were together or separated, in
Scotland or in Russia, we would go on Beltane so she could see for the first time in nearly seven
hundred years this magical ritual from childhood and I could witness it for the first time. Upon
further research inspired by this discovery, we also found that in places all over Europe and even
in America there were also gatherings for the same Sabbat
where people again danced the Maypole, something else that was long ago banned, something
else she hadnt seen in her immortal life that reminded her of youth and sunny days. The latter
was made clear to me when I asked her why we didnt go to see this as well as we planned to do
the nighttime fire festival. With a sad smile she replied simply, While I am glad the people are
dancing it once more, happier, really, than I can ever convey even to you, this is done by the
light of the sun so I shall never take a ribbon in my hand and join that dance again. Still, at least
it wont die out as I have longed feared.
There was more, so much more. Meetings to watch the sun rise on both the Summer
Solstice and the Winter Solstice at Stonehenge and a place in America called Serpent Mound,
Pagan groups worldwide meeting one another and discussing our ways in things called forums
on the internet, covens of all sorts coming out of the broom closet, as people in the community
had started to call the act of admitting ones Pagan faith to the world, in person and online, and
more books on the subject written than any one mortal could read. As winter came on and the
snow started falling we searched for these books at bookstores and we decided we liked some of
the new authors like Scott Cunningham who passed away two years earlier, Silver Ravenwolf,
and a woman named Edain McCoy. Many were bullshit but the ones published by a company
called Llewellyn Books seemed to be the most accurate. But Kila was disheartened to discover
that the teachings of that man whose manuscript she had heard about in the 1930s, Mr. Gardner,
had taken out all possibilities of using negative magic to defend oneself as was the way in her
time when he laid the foundation for the revival of witchcraft and the religion now called Wicca.
It was done with the best of intentions, we knew that, but she asserted that as someone who
fought for the right to own guns in England he should have known better. Taking negative magic
out of good hands who would not harm without reason left it only in the hands of bad witches
only, just like making guns illegal ensured that no one but criminals would own them. Still, with
all of the positives we saw in the world concerning Pagans, all of the real progress being made
throughout many places in the world, how could we complain?
Luke kept in touch through phones he was able to use when he made trips to the closest
cities for this purpose and just before Beltane he arrived without warning telling me everything
was finished and Angel was there waiting for my arrival. When I told him about the Fire Festival
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and how we were staying for it, he became giddy, announcing as Kila had that it had been
centuries since had seen this but he added where she would not that he never thought he would
see it again. So he was happy to stay. Loading up the boxes in our house that I never unpacked
along with items he insisted he send to the new house on a truck he borrowed at a hefty price
from a man in Dalmally, he shipped these things out and called to tell Angel they would come
only as far as Moscow before we laid down to sleep for the day. Kila was in a spare room
refusing to give up our habit of staying together just because Luke was back. When I whispered
that she seemed lonelier here than I had ever seen her before, he suggested immediately that she
come back with us and that made me smile.
Like the first ritual I ever performed with her, she was ready with a beautiful robe and a
cloak picked out when I awoke the next evening. This was a gown of beautiful colors that I felt
regal in and the cloak was a deep red. As I laced up my boots I realized she wasnt wearing
makeup for this and I decided to forgo it myself as did Luke. But when we got there, so many
bonfires and torches were lit that I almost feared we had made a mistake in going nude, so to
speak. My companions, however, had expected this amount of fire and they both seemed to feel
nothing but elation. Soon I felt the same way. Every old story Kila had told me about what this
night once meant was coming alive around me! The mock hunt that ended in the May Queen and
the King of the Hunt approaching in a grand procession, the dancers with their torches lit, the
lighting of a giant wicker man to ensure fertility for the land, it was all here. And to me it was as
beautiful as it was ancient in nature. A community of people, not just Pagans, attended this each
year as they had in the old days when every community was Pagan and though I had practiced
the ancient ways for over two centuries this was the first time I felt so close to it. But Kila felt
more than that. This was confirmation of all she had said, that hope that kept her going when she
saw her people killed for their faith in days gone by and was nearly killed herself for this reason,
and when she wept as we left I didnt need to ask what the tears were for. The past was meeting
the present at last and with a combination of magic, worship, and technology we, the wise ones,
could perhaps end up saving the world one day. If nothing else, the witches she never stopped
seeing as her people long after her mortality was taken were safe to be as open as they pleased
and the only threat left to them was ridicule from those who didnt understand our ways and
didnt care to try to understand.
The next night we embarked on the long journey to the top of the world, so to speak. We
went by air and when I felt that air getting unbearably cold the closer we got even though it was
the first nights of May already I started to rethink what I had agreed to. But what was weather to
me? The house would be the true test. This seemed to be a long journey for the mode of travel
but we arrived just as Angel was putting the finishing touches on the study from the boxes Luke
had sent to him that had only just arrived. However, before I could see this room I had to have
the full tour which began with a huge, beautiful sitting room that was ornate enough to sit inside
Versailles. The floor was indeed marble though thick, soft rugs were placed here and there for
comfort, the walls were paneled in dark cheery wood that complimented the white marble of the
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floors well, a huge television that picked up channels from all over the world sat opposite a
decadent leather couch and overstuffed arm chairs, and there was a large expensive stereo at the
head of one end of the room while the other was made up of a huge window that opened in
sections with heavy shutters on the outside of each section and the thick blinds that were
controlled with a remote like those in New Orleans covering it all from the inside. This was the
only window and no sunlight could penetrate it. Separating the room from the hall we had come
in from was a set of beautiful French doors, also Cherry wood, and the hallway was very long
with paintings hung on both sides.
When I turned the corner I saw another long hallway with doors all the way down it. The
hallways were white with black marble floors but when I went into the room that I was told was
our bedroom I found the same color scheme of the sitting room along with furniture that was
lavish and a beautiful large window complete with a window seat that overlooked what looked
like the edge of the world. Kila was shown to a room he had decorated with her in mind and
when I heard her squeal through the door I assumed he had done well. Finally, though there were
other bedrooms, and many bathrooms with tubs and showers usually reserved for the most
wealthy members of society, I was led to the study. It was this room that almost made me weep.
The walls all around had been turned into a shrine to my photos and my tintypes through the
years meeting with a blown up version of the tintype of all of us vampires from the night of the
play in New Orleans one hundred and twenty years earlier hanging above a marble fireplace with
our magic rose sitting on the mantle. Yes, there was a computer and yes there were bookshelves
built up right to where the pictures began all around the room and I loved it all right down to the
desk and the leather chairs that reminded me of France. But for that photo above the rose I
wouldnt have taken anything in this world. So what do you think? Luke finally asked when I
said nothing as I stood like a fool staring up at the picture.
I heard the door shut and I knew Kila had come in but I was lost in all of this and I didnt
even look back at her. I think this is a perfect home for all of us. Not just you and me but all of
us. We are all free to come and go from this place whenever we like and our door is always open
when the others want to stay. Time does not exist here, does it? So one need never feel like one
has to run, to go someplace else, and when the time of the battle begins, we now have a place so
isolated, so off the grid, that Aurelio will have one hell of a time finding us. So, yes, it is
amazing and I am happy to have it, happy to have a place where we are all safe from the
pressures of the world.
I meant that completely and apparently my companions agreed. Angel stayed for a few
months but Kila stayed for years as did Luke and I. Actually, she remained even when we left.
Luke and I stayed until the tragedy of September 11, 2001 when Luke, who now had credit cards
and checks of all sorts, saw it all happen on television and he immediately donated money to
help before updating our passports and other important documents. As soon as we could, we
went into Poland and caught a long and nerve wracking flight into New York. Incoming flights
had only just been allowed back into New York City and sorrow, shock, and outrage was still
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hanging over the city like a cloud but immediately Luke got another apartment much like the last
one we had when we were there a decade earlier and he started leaving each night to see where
help was needed. I went when he asked me and while the show of unity around the country was
inspiring and the tales of heroes who had given their lives to save others were beautiful and
bitter-sweet to hear, the hatred toward an entire religion over the actions of a select few made me
angry. This, to me, was ignorant medieval-style thinking and I feared it would become a
religious war, one of the deadliest types of war there is. It is unfortunate that for all of the good
that was seen in many Americans on that day and the weeks that followed, it did turn out much
like I feared with irrational panic toward innocent people running rampant even now.
I thought we would go back to Russia after we had done what we could and I was surprised
when Luke suggested we instead stay, perhaps live in Salem for a little while. Kila had told us
she was fine to be alone in the Ice Palace, as we had nicknamed the Russian house, and indeed I
believed that she would be fine no matter how long we stayed away. It turned out her lust for
solitude had not left her when Gavin left Ayr. She simply couldnt stand to be in Scotland alone.
So I agreed to go there, to stay a couple of years, and I intended just to call her when we arrived
and let her know plans had changed, give her a number to reach us. But when we went to Salem
and we found it quite changed from the way it had been ten years earlier, with a memorial
dedicated to the victims of the Salem Witch Trials, a museum dedicated to the towns history as
it related to this subject, and a large population of witches calling it home, my phone call to her
after Luke and I had a small two bedroom place we were renting took on a different tone. The
house was tiny by his standards but it was beautiful and charming, older than me, and I couldnt
wait to tell Kila all about it. Still, while she seemed excited about the way the town had
embraced a dark past and turned it into something light, something the legacy of witchcraft (a
legacy that had nothing to do with those killed there beyond the false charges and the fact that we
all embrace them because they were killed over the suspicion that they were one of us) could be
proud of, she said she was enjoying the quiet and that perhaps she would come see it one night in
the future.
We spent a little under four years there leaving once a year to meet Kila in Scotland and
leaving every October though this was Salems busiest time of year so Kila and I could indulge
in a tradition of Halloween-themed films, decorating, and throwing parties on Samhain even if
we three were the only ones in attendance. Aside from that, we were in Salem from September of
2001 until August of 2005 when the pleasure I had taken in the town there turned to a dislike for
the country outside of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama over an event that forever changed
me.
It was August 28
th
, 2005 when I awoke to Luke telling me a hurricane was definitely going
to hit New Orleans in a low calm tone that almost hid his nerves over all he had been watching
on his favorite twenty-four hour cable news station. First he told me the storm would be
devastating if it hit, then he said it was certainly going to hit but it would be a Category Three
when it touched New Orleans and that trains and buses were coming in from other states to help
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people evacuate, and then I heard him punch the small coffee table in front of him. What is it?
I asked, coming into the living room at last.
The mayor told them not to send the trains. He said they wont be needed. Luke said
softly, trying to process as I was what the hell was happening to the south of us.
What? No need? What about the people in the Wards huh? Those who have no cars, no
money? Evacuate they say and then the bastards take from them a way to do it? This isnt right!
Something is going on here. Im going. I dont give a fuck about the storm. Ill find a way
around it.
I did not care in that moment if he came with me. I knew I would have to go by air because
there were no flights in, no roads one could pass through, not even a goddamned train coming in
to give people a chance. Arianne, there is no way in. Luke said, firmly putting his hands on my
shoulders.
We are vampires, goddamned you! Do not tell me there is no way for us to get in! I
shouted. If you dont want to come, dont, but I am leaving.
Holding me in his arms, realizing I was on the brink of panic, he said softly, simply, Ok,
well go. You are not going to fly alone. Youll hold on to me. Were coming down from the
north and the storm is coming up from the south so we dont have to worry about going straight
into it but the wind may be tough to navigate. Still, well make it.
The air seemed to change when we got close to the city. I looked down once and I saw a
score of lights. They looked very small from where we were but they also looked out of place. I
realized that they were cars still trying to get out and I didnt look down again. The truth is, there
wasnt a logical reason for the panic I felt. New Orleans was told year after year when hurricane
season came around after Betsy that they would be hit, wiped off the map, and each year the city
smiled when December came and the worst did not come to pass. We had been told for forty
years that the levees were strong and unless the absolute worst happened, the storm would be a
category three, four at the most. We believed the levees could handle that. As far as I knew when
our feet touched solid ground on Canal Street this fear of mine was irrational. But it was there
just the same and if I couldnt shake it I had to face it.
The streets were so quiet as we made our way toward the Quarter, careful to dodge the news
cameras. But inside the Quarter there were hurricane parties here and there, a fuck you to this
storm, a traditional New Orleans laugh in the face of danger. Here were the people who wouldnt
have left no matter how many trains and buses had come in to transport them out. We joined
them as the wind picked up around us and the beginning of the rain started pounding down on us.
Most of them were too young to remember the devastation of Betsy, some hadnt even been born
yet, and this was just a reason to keep the party going. Maybe the few in the bars who did recall
what nature could do with the help of a soulless government also remembered that it was the
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Wards, Gentilly, St. Bernard Parish, and not the Quarter that was destroyed. My fears were not
here as I listened to people brag that the storm wouldnt do a damn thing to ruin the fun, that it
would all be fine. No, my mind was miles away in the Upper and Lower Ninth Wards with the
people who had been trapped without the money to go, the people who would lose everything
including their lives if those levees did not hold against the storm.
When the wind and the rain became impossible for a mortal to handle, when the storm was
touching down, we had to rush to the theater and break into our own building that was locked
tight and abandoned by the current managers. When the sun came up Luke went right to sleep
but for me it was impossible. With my sensitive ears and a mind that picks up too much when I
am in distress I heard the frantic cries of the desperate all over the city. I heard pure human
despair. I could even hear the flood waters drowning my citys streets. The party in the Quarter,
the people who chose to stay there, had gone silent. I knew the area around me hadnt been
flooded yet only because I was in the lowest floor of the theater and if there was water in the
building I would know it. Hour after hour I listened until I accepted that I would not sleep and I
went into the sitting room with its modern leather furniture feeling grateful for the first time that
Luke had insisted we have a television here. The electricity had gone out in the area long before
we went home but we had a generator that took over when Luke started it before he went to
sleep. Finding the news channel Luke always watched already on when I hit the power button, I
let out a cry so loud, so desperate, it did the impossible and it woke the sleeping vampire in the
next room. Nonono I was repeating this simple word over and over again in response to
the devastation I saw on the screen.
Without the television I never would have known what it looked like by the light of day and
now that I did, I wished I did not. When they showed a bridge I was familiar with I was so
confused for a moment. What is that, Luke? What He had just sat down but he took me in
his arms when I let out another cry at the realization that it was people I saw there. The elderly,
small children, men and women, they were gathering there in the sweltering heat assuming, as I
assumed, that their government would soon drop provisions for them as they had in Asia after a
Tsunami hit eight months earlier. Some of the cries that I had heard were coming from these
people but there were more, so many more, coming from those stuck in their homes while the
water rose, sitting in the sun on their roofs, trying to make it through the water to hit dry land.
All of them had lost everything. They had no water, no food, and their only hope was the
government. It was a logical hope then. Four years earlier Americans had done all they could to
help victims of a terrorist attack. Americans were always helping other nations in times of
disaster. When Betsy hit had the president not come just one day after the storm? He had. But
even a day seemed too long to wait with the images I saw on the screen. It wasnt just New
Orleans, either. Other places in Mississippi and Alabama suffered as well. I couldnt just sit and
wait. The people had no choice but I did.
Im sure the water systems arent working here but at least there is electricity, air
conditioning. Its shelter. We can get the people here. We need to go as soon as the sun sets to
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tend to that and once the place is full well scour the Quarter for bars and stores that are closed so
we can round up supplies. It will be days before anyone comes back. Well pay them then. What
we really need is a boat. Why dont we have one? Christ, nearly three hundred years with this
city and we havent bothered to get a
Arianne, sweet girl, we cant do that. We cant do any of that. This isnt the fires, you
know. This isnt the floods of the past. Look. What do you see? Luke gestured toward the
television.
I see our people dying, goddamn it! Thats the whole point! I literally shouted.
This city is overrun with news cameras and all of that footage will be archived. It will
survive for decades. Dont you see? Our hands are absolutely tied on this. We cant bring the
people here. We cant risk being captured on film. We can round up supplies and put them close
to where people are gathering. That is the best we can do. When relief funds are set up I will
transfer money immediately to them but we cannot be directly involved in any of this. For once
all we can do is let those in charge handle this.
Oh, you mean the way that the mayor handled it by telling the trains and buses not to
come? See those people wading through that filthy water? They could be three states over by
now. Yes, I can see were putting our people in good hands. They are still our people arent
they?
Of course they are! New Orleanians will always be our people but
But nothing! I wont sit here helpless while the poor, the fragile, die around me! I will not
do it! I will bring us all out into the light first!
No, you will not. I am sorry. Do you think I cant hear it out there? All of the city is quiet
save for the sound of the water and the cries, Arianne! I hear them! And never have I faced
something like this knowing I can save so many while realizing I am as helpless as they are to do
anything. But that is the way of it. When the sun goes down I will see about gathering what I can
and I will go where I can without anyone seeing mealone. You cannot handle this. You
leaving this apartment would end in disaster. It wont be long. The entire nation is watching this.
It isnt like people will sit back idly and let their fellow humans die from neglect knowing the
government has the means to help them. By tomorrow help of some kind will come. Youll see.
But help did not come. I did not sleep, I did not hunt, I just sat in front of that damned
television watching the things going on right outside my door as I was told I couldnt help, I
couldnt leave. I watched the president of the nation fly past the people dying of dehydration and
starvation around me and I broke up all of the glass things in the sitting room when no provisions
were dropped even then. I heard the stories of people accused of looting for taking water and
goods needed to survive, being shot by the National Guard who was able to get in when my
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people couldnt get out, while employees of the city were taking expensive merchandise and
nothing was said about it. I suppose they were not poor enough to be shot as thieves on national
television. Animals are treated more humanely that this, goddamn it! You call those in office
human beings, you say help will come, I want to know then why the vampire here seems to be
the only soul who gives a damn about what is going on! How long will we wait, Lucania? Until
the government has killed every man, woman, and child that is left? I cannot do this! I will not
do this, goddamn you! I screamed.
I had rarely seen anything as tragic, as pathetic, as the complete lack of concern here. In my
time the leaders responsible would have been held accountable by their people for what they had
done. The French Revolution taught me that. Let them eat cake! That is what was being said to
the people here and even though the modern world allowed for everyone to see it, it could not
instill one ounce of humanity into their hearts. That was how I felt.
Come on. Youve got to get out of here. Youve got to get away from the television and
you have to feed.
Luke was already leading me toward the exit for the first time since the hurricane hit. He had
left each night trying to do something, anything, but he had kept me here. There is no one left to
feed from, you fool! The only people left in the city are good-hearted, hardworking people
whose only crime was being poor and I do not hand out death sentences for that. I am not like the
humans. Ill feed when they can eat. I was firm on that. Not even for a taste of one of the
bastards shooting innocent people on the streets would I break my fast.
As we walked all I could here was the cries. It was all I had heard since the first day but
without the walls to separate me from the sound it was overwhelming. If humans could hear this
like I hear it, I thought, none of this would be happening. I didnt even make it out of the Quarter
before Luke had to physically carry me home. My mind was breaking down and the journey
outside seemed to put the final crack in it. Because the pain of the people, the screams, the
hungry cries were coming from all directions and I couldnt block them anymore, I put my hands
over my ears and I put my head in Lukes lap where I wept for hours uncontrollably, whispering,
No! again and again as I had the first moment that I saw what had happened. Nothing could
calm me. I was past that. Never in my worst nightmares did I ever dream that the city I raised
would come to this end, for this was the end. I was sure of that. And in that moment the loss of
this beautiful place I had put all I had into was nothing compared with all of the senseless death,
the unnecessary suffering of the people. What made it the worst kind of betrayal was the fact that
this death sentence handed down to innocent people had been carried out not by the hand of
foreign terrorists but by Americans elected to protect everyone, especially those in society who
could not protect themselves.
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Oh, my poor girl! I looked up, startled, and I saw Kila. She heard the cries too, I thought,
because her cheeks were stained with tears. Its over. They are almost finished transporting
people out. The president said they will do everything
He is a goddamned liar! He let them die! Night after night there were fewer cries and those
left were louder, grief strickenthe mayor, the governor, the president, the peopleno one
came! They will do nothing! They call us monsters because we kill the guilty to survive. They
would hunt us down if they knew about us. But the only hearts broken for all of the people in
New Orleans, truly broken, belong to vampires. The human race here is without hope. I know
that now. If, by some miracle, the waters recede and people come back, if this isnt the end of
New Orleans, this is the only city in this country that I will ever give a damn about! Do you hear
me? Turning to Luke, who had stood up as soon as Kila came, I demanded, Huh? Do you hear
me? Dont ever ask me to go back to Massachusetts, Dont tell me about problems in New York
or Texas. They all turned their backs on New Orleans! Everyone! So now we will turn our backs
on them! They dont fucking exist. As far as Im concerned, they are not even human!
I felt the fury of human helplessness as I walked the streets with Kila that night. I had a
particular victim in mind for the breaking of my fast and I had intense bitterness in my heart. If
I had known you had been insane enough to come I would have been here three nights ago. Kila
said when she realized I had no plans to speak. Luke had stayed behind to use the internet to send
money to the relief funds he was able to find when our proper electricity and internet had been
restored. Apparently that had happened earlier in the day. I never noticed. Just before we left he
had chuckled over the fact that his first donation had earned him a set of Mardi Gras beads. I
couldnt find humor anywhere yet, just relief in the quiet night.
I heard on the news that there are police officers who committed suicide already over this.
Can you imagine? That is how hopeless it was. Thats how far from the light weve gone. They
saw the bodies, they heard the cries, and those poor men saw so much despair in all of it that they
took their own precious lives. Those who lived, the cops and the civilians who survived this, they
will carry those days with them until they die. These are scars that will never heal. Yet the whole
government turned a blind eye to it. I dont blame all people in the nation. Some came down to
help, you know, but the National Guard wouldnt let them in. While they were denying those
people entrance they could have brought the supplies in themselves. The useless planes that were
constantly flying up ahead could have dropped supplies. They rounded the people up like cattle
and watched them die while film crews stood above them commanded not to film what was
happening. Humans in the past had a great capacity for cruelty. I know that. But it seems to me
that a choice must be made. Either these people need to be honest about the fact that they are still
barbarians or they need to live up to this lie they put out that they are enlightened creatures who
are better than that now.
Putting an arm around me, she whispered, I know, my girl, I know.
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I look back at what happened in New York four years ago, at the way the nation responded,
and I cant believe this was treated with such indifference. The same people are in office, the
same Americans sat in front of their television screens watching this, so how did it take almost a
week for our people to get out? Is it because the people are poor? The Ninth Ward is made up of
house after house that was built brick by brick by hard working people who put all of their
dreams into their homes, people who have worked all of their lives to have the precious things
that belonged to them. Then there are the people in the projects around the Ward who have spent
a lifetime just trying to rise above impossible circumstances. They are good people, most of
them. So was it that they dont wear suits and work in an important office that set them apart or
was it the fact that the government found no chance to wage war on old enemies when the levees
broke? How is it that only a vampire can see both tragedies are equally important, equally
devastating? Perhaps it is because I have nothing to gain from either of them. Blaming those who
could not leave the city because they were here when the storm came, blaming those who would
have stayed no matter what when even the mayor seemed only minimally concerned, is like
blaming those who died four years ago simply because they went to work on September
eleventh. Yet that is what people are doing; blaming the victims here instead of the government
that intentionally failed them.
I had said my piece on the complete injustice I saw but when Hurricane Rita hit a month later
and storm waters came in again while no one outside seemed to notice, when it was made clear
by carefully worded press speeches that there were those who would make sure the poor of the
city never came home, when all of the money we donated ran out fifteen months later without
real progress occurring in the Ward and the corporation overseeing it that was hired by the
Justice Department gave millions in bonuses to their employees, when all of this was done out in
the open without the majority of Americans crying out for justice, it added insult to injury. There
were organizations, a handful of the famous, and vampires from all over the world that tried to
rebuild what was lost, something the vampires could have done before the first anniversary in
times gone by, but still the Ninth Ward sits as a shell of what it was and still those outside of
New Orleans are deaf to the cries of the people who worked so hard and lost everything, people
that cant come home.
Luke wanted to go in December of 2005 but I couldnt do it. If all we could do was sit by
the bedside of our sick child then sitting is what we would do. New Orleans needed those who
remembered the cries of her most desperate days to stay and hold her hand. Kila agreed to
remain as long as we did so at night we helped where we could. We continued sending money
long after we suspected it would do no good and we cleaned up debris often finding human
remains that we would place as respectfully as we could off to the side for humans to hopefully
identify and bury later. The estimated death toll was close to two thousand but the truth is that
we will never know the real number. So many people were washed away. It would be another lie
in a string of many if those in charge claimed to have an exact figure. It was a great tragedy that
was forgotten by most by the time Mardi Gras rolled around five months later. That was all the
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country needed to see, New Orleans coming off of her sick bed in her festive best to put on a
show like all was well. As long as Mardi Gras went on the city was fine, there was no tragedy,
and it could all be swept under the rug. But vampires will never forget.
One night during the first spring following the tragedy, I was on my way out to smell the
flowers that I had been taking note of each night when Kila called out from the sofa, I bought a
new CD last night and there is a song you must hear. Come. Sit.
What sort of CD? I asked, sitting beside of her. I had healed a little by then and I did not
intentionally think of the nights following Katrina. I still had nightmares of the cries but even
that was getting better. Things were not good, they were not right, but they were a little better.
A rap CD. She replied as she used the remote for the CD player to turn it on.
Rap? I dont like rap. I protested.
You liked it well enough in the 90s. Your mixture of rap and grunge made me bipolar for
an entire decade.
I smiled at the memories of those carefree years. Well, those were the good days. We still
had Tupac. And Snoop
We still have Snoop. He hasnt been shot, remember? Now shut up, damn it, and listen.
The song was Tie My Hands by Lil Wayne. I had heard of him because he was a native of
New Orleans and he had worked hard to raise money and open the eyes of the nation to what
happened during Katrina but I never dreamed that anyone who wasnt there during those horrible
nights could capture the aftermath so perfectly. I grabbed Kilas hand when the song started and
I realized what it was about and I held on with all I had as the tears came. Each line, each word,
seemed torn from my own heart, the mixture of sorrow, anger, and hope that lingered still. When
it went off I looked down through eyes clouded in red and I realized I had drawn blood on Kilas
hand, wounds that healed instantly. If only all wounds healed so fast for a vampire I listened to
that song each time I was confronted with a reminder of what had happened and the memories
returned. I listened to the song he wrote for the president about his inaction in New Orleans to
get the anger out. The music helped. But the fact that his was the only voice speaking out seemed
to say it all.
We stayed until September of 2008 when Hurricane Gustave threatened New Orleans and I
decided that even though it was nothing like Katrina and in the end it spared us, I needed a break
from it all. Actually, I decided nothing. As soon as it was predicted that Gustave would head our
way I shut down sitting still and lifeless in front of the television lost not in the images before me
but in the memories inside of my head. I dont even remember leaving the city. It was all decided
and carried out by Luke who was terrified that I had lost my mind. The first coherent memory I
have is of being on a ship headed toward Russia. Nothing was completely mended when we left
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for New Orleans, for the survivors, or for the two vampires who stayed behind to carry forever
the sounds of the cries even though the nation around her has already forgotten.

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Chapter 16
It took a couple of years to feel as if I was completely healed from that experience. In that
time, Angelus visited me often, Lucius came at least twice a year, and in 2010 Kila went home to
Scotland but with our most updated laptops and the high speed internet we had, we knew there
would never be a time when we would ever completely be separated again. With Luke and me
left alone in this house for the first time in all the years we owned it, we learned to explore the
world around us, to find the fastest ways to get in and out of cities that were considered close
though they were hundreds of miles or more away. Though we all still met in Scotland for
Beltane and Kila came up each October, I felt no desire to return to the world and except for that
one night in May, I did not leave Russia until rather recently. But well get to that night in a little
while. First, I need to tell you about the year that has already become, in my mind, a year of hell
though it has barely passed. Let us talk about the bulk of 2012.
The first three months of the year were as happy as the rest of the years in our Ice Palace
have been but then I started seeing changes in Luke, alarming changes, though I had no real
reason to be alarmed at first. No, the first sign that something was terribly wrong with Luke was
more of an observation than a certainty. He had long had a fascination with world news but he
also had a fascination with everything else he could get on our incredibly expensive satellite
system. However, he suddenly started sitting on the sofa night after night and, yes, day after day
not moving, rarely hunting, with world news on constantly. I would try to talk to him and while
he was polite with me, he made it clear that he didnt want to be bothered. He didnt want to talk.
He hunted only when I threatened to have the satellite system dismantled and taken away. I saw
the things he watched; war, murder, an intense fight against women taking place all over the
world including in America, starving children, famines and other natural disasters, battles in
Egypt, and I couldnt stand two hours of it. I wondered what he was thinking, what was drawing
him toward this.
One night I came in and I was startled to see him sitting there with tears silently streaming
thick and red down his marble-like cheeks. I was so startled by this that I simply stood in the
doorway silently for a moment. He looked like one of those crying statues that Catholics often
see. When I could not take the sight of this anymore, I forced myself to move, to sit beside of
him, to gently pat his leg. We have to pack, my love. We must get to Scotland in time to make it
to Edinburgh for the Beltane Fire Festival. You know it is the only thing that consoles Kila since
people all over Europe now gather again to dance the Maypole in the sun and she cannot.
I was at first relieved when he looked away from the atrocities on the screen and he saw me
for the first time in days. But I could barely recognize the eyes that bore into my own. They did
not belong to Luke; they were not the eyes I had spent hundreds of years staring into. Black and
cold as Onyx and full of despair, they reflected an immortal mind that had at last seen too much.
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Suddenly he laughed in a way that was so soft it would have seemed childlike except that there
was no hope left in it. That seems so completely foolish to me, the idea of vampires traveling
anywhere for a festival involving fire. Perhaps when Midsummer comes we should travel to
Salisbury and watch the sunrise as well.
He paused, turning the television down a little, gesturing toward the images there before he
spoke once more saying firmly, There is no reason to do it anymore. It is madness to believe for
a moment that any Gods, be they old or new, could give a damn about these soulless bastards
that the world calls humans. I have seen cruelty, war, destruction, oppression, sheer hatred all of
my existence and I cannot tellAre humans becoming worse in their nature or is it that one can
turn on a television now and see all of the madness reflected back at once when, in all of the
centuries past, one had to be there to experience it? I have always seen good in people as a
whole, I have always agreed with Kila that the time would come when balance would be restored
and the aggression that is so male in nature would at least be tempered by the compassion of a
Mother, but I believe I have seen too much to delude myself into thinking that anyone, be they
Gods or vampires, can guide this world toward balance, toward goodness I am very tired. Go
to Scotland for the Fire Festival. I no longer have the heart for it.
He stood and walked out. The slamming of our bedroom door told me he had at last gone to
bed and while that should have been a sign of progress, there was a hard knot in my stomach that
said otherwise. I did not go to Scotland, of course, though I regretted that I was going to miss the
festival in Edinburg for the first time in years. I did send an e-mail to Kila telling her not to wait
for us, that something was the matter with Luke and I would explain further when I knew more,
and then I went out to hunt.
This midway point between spring and summer that we were on the eve of meant very little
to this place so high above the world but when I went down into the cities I noticed the snow had
melted, the night had warmed, and full spring had come to Russia as well. Beltane had always
been a time for me that was much like Samhain when veils between worlds were thin, and when
I returned to our place that spring forgot, I felt the strange feeling in the air despite the fact that
the air itself gave nothing of the day away. Going to sleep beside of my love at dawn I imagined
I might be able to cheer him up with a Beltane celebration of our own and with a smile at the
thought of such a celebration, I fell asleep.
I awoke, startled, feeling that there was a strange vampire in my room but when I looked
around there was only Luke sitting by the window looking out at the night. Sitting up, I smiled,
relieved yet confused because despite what my eyes told me, the feeling of menace did not
subside. See something interesting out there? Its certainly better than what youve been looking
at for months. If you look out at the world instead of focusing only on her people through a
screen perhaps youll remember that somewhere there is always peace.
There is no peace! He declared in that low, dangerous tone of his.
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I said nothing as I put my clothes on and made my way toward the door. Perhaps he could
not see that even in the face of the destruction that reigned supreme on the news, peace still
existed in places here and there throughout the world and it would always be that way but at least
he wasnt in the sitting room. So I resolved to leave him to his observation of the night. But
when I got to the door, he moved with preternatural speed to block my way. Just where the hell
do you think you are going?
Out of this room, for one, and beyond that, who knows? Now please get out of my way.
With a simple flick of his wrist, magic I had never seen him use in this way before, he flung
me against the room as if I weighed nothing. You think I can let you out of here? Now that I
know how much evil is in the world, the cruelty of it, you think I can just let you go out there
night after night? I once believed that as vampires we were the darkest things that walked this
world and somehow that gave me comfort. I tried to stand only to be knocked down in the same
way once more. No, by god, you will not move! You will sit and listen and try to understand!
Where was I? Oh, yes, comfortI found comfort in the idea that we had the darkest natures
because I thought that if the majority of our kind could control the worst side of our nature and
use the gifts the blood gave us for good, surely people could control their own blood lust, so
small compared with ours, and the majority of them could learn to live in peace. Now I know our
darkness is nothing compared with human greed, the consumption that requires money and the
power that rests solely on having it all, is far deadlier even than our lust for human blood. The
energy of this world is growing dark, our money and influence does no good against any of it,
and I will not lose you to the sort of things I have seen on T.V.!
Lucania, I am immortal! You should know this better than anyone else! You are the one
who made me this way! A thousand guns will not kill me, a thousand wars will not really wound
me
And a bomb, an explosion, fire? Are you immortal against that? He shouted. Are you? If
you are in a train and it is bombed, if the explosion comes so fast it devours you at once, are you
immortal to that?
In that moment I knew that he had lost his mind. I could hear his thoughts coming from him
so strongly, that he should end us both now before the world at last finds a way to do it, and
when he came toward me, either to embrace me or to do me harm, I could not tell which, I did
the only thing I could do. I used the same magic he had used against me, the one area where my
strength did outweigh his own, and I flung him against the wall opposite the door so that he was
pinned there while I fled. I had to keep him locked in until I could figure out a better course of
action. There was no time to make a spell on a lock, no time to put up bolts on the outside of the
door, I could only sit there using every ounce of energy I had to keep the door closed as Luke
fought like hell to get it open. How long could I hold it in this way? What would happen to us
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when the sun came up? I had no answers to these questions. But I couldnt think of these things.
I could only channel everything I had into keep that damned door shut.
I can only assume it is Lucania on the other side of that door? Kilas voice startled me so
that I was distracted for a moment and I lost my hold but she, with all of her strength, was able to
hold the door far better than I could at that point and with one hand held out she did just that.
Yes. Hes gone mad, old friend. Completely I felt so drained, too long spent with my
frightened thoughts and his shouting.
So it is for him, then, that I constructed the chains. Where is your rose? Tell me that it is not
in there with him.
No, its in the study where its always been, with all of my special things. I replied simply,
having been at her side too long to ask her how she knew to construct chains at all.
Ill hold the door. Go get that rose and take it to Angel. He and Lucius are waiting in the
sitting room. Tell them it is Luke and then go out and hunt, dearie. It could be one hell of a fight,
this. We can handle it, the three of us alone, I think, without pitting lover against lover. I was
about to walk away when she asked as calmly as she had said everything else, Where would
you like us to put his chains? He might be in them for some time. Would the bedroom be best?
No. I replied, my voice flat, my mind disbelieving this entire conversation and everything
that had occurred before it. Put them in the sitting room. I only go in the bedroom to sleep and
isolation is the last thing he needs now despite all of this.
I did as I was told to do, taking the flower to my beloved Angelus as I told him what I had
been instructed to tell him and I tried to smile at the assurance I received from he and Lucius that
though it might take some time, we would all find a way to undo what the world had unwittingly
done to Luke. When I went out into the night I was already sure that it had been the images he
bombarded his mind with that had done this to him. I was sure that Kila was already looking for
explanations, that she probably believed Aurelio had had something to do with it, but I hadnt
thought that for a moment. I had seen him the night before weeping at the things he could not fix
or alter and I had known that feeling too well myself to underestimate what it could do,
especially to a vampire who rarely had a problem that he could not find a solution for.
When I returned everyone was lounging around the sitting room as if all was well but the
sight of Luke in chains pulling hard against the things that bound him and shouting at everyone
in the room broke that illusion. Beethoven was turned up a bit too loud as if the music could
block out the sound of a voice that had no limits. The piece playing on the stereo was Fur Elise,
the tune found after Beethovens death that was mistakenly attributed to our friend, the music
Luke had written for me three centuries ago in France when I was still human and he very nearly
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lost me. So it is true, then, that Lucania composed this? Angel asked. I was so distressed that I
hadnt even bothered to cloak my thoughts.
Yes. I whispered simply. I was standing in the doorway looking straight ahead at Luke
waiting for the moment when he broke the chains. How are they holding him? His strength will
surely break them eventually.
Angel was standing by my side and he handed me a glass of wine that I had no desire to
drink. Kila made them link by link with metal she forged herself. She was told three months ago
that they needed to be made and she was instructed on how to do it but it wasnt until last night
when she was told to bring them that she knew why she had done this. They are the strongest
chains on earth and the magic in your rose has only increased that strength. He cannot break
them.
I walked forward, intent on trying to talk to Luke, trying to make him see reason, when he
leveled a look full of rage and hatred at me. I wanted only to save you, to protect you, and this
is how you repay me? By sending my friends, my family, to stab me in the back? I am not
surprised, really. Youve always had an Orphan Annie complex. Your family never gave a damn
about you so youve spent centuries trying to steal mine. They dont love you, you know. They
pity you. And that isnt the same thing. Its pathetic, really, that you cant tell the difference but I
am glad that you cant. If you could, you might have left me years ago. Pity is the only thing I
have ever felt for you but if you left I might eventually get lonely. At least as long as you believe
I give a damn about you, you wont leave me to the interesting yet time consuming task of filling
my bed with someone worth fucking every night. Waitcome to think of itthat doesnt sound
as bad as I once imagined. When I break these chains, and I will break them, I am going to kill
you and then I suppose I can again get back to enjoying the life I have and the pleasures of the
flesh that have become nothing if not monotonous with you.
I knew he didnt mean these things. Yes, yes, I knew all of that. But if I were going to live
with the beast night after night until a solution was discovered, I would be damned if I would
weep at each cruel word or tiptoe around him to appease him. If he wanted to act like a bastard, I
would treat him like one. Laughing, I moved forward to stroke his cheek and as I looked into
those hard eyes I replied with a grin, Ah, but I am not the one chained to a wall. Three thousand
years on earth and you let humans take your mind? Talk about pathetic. Perhaps when the sun
sets tomorrow I will travel to Italy, Spain, somewhere that has exotic men with endearing
qualities like hot blood and a pulse and I will bring one home so I might fuck him right there on
the floor for you to see that when I am actually with a lover worth having, I am quite good in
bed. Sleep tight, fallen angel. May the rats keep you company until dusk.
I held my head high as I walked out of the room and I made it all the way down the hall but
when I turned the corner so I could go to the study, the pain of this situation slammed me like a
fist in the heart. He couldnt hear me for the distance, the music, and his own angry screams so I
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was free to weep as loudly as I wished and I did. I sat with my knees up to my chest and I cried
like a child. Kila came to me putting her arm around me as she all but forced me to stand. Come
on, dearie. I know what you need. She said softly as she guided me toward the room where I
practiced my religion, my craft. Tonight is Beltane night. Just because we couldnt make it to
Edinburgh, just because your world has been turned upside down, that doesnt mean we cant do
what we need to do to honor this night. In fact, with what is happening right now, I see this as the
best thing we can do. We cant repair what has been broken tonight, we cant make him stop the
hateful things he is saying to us all, but we can do this. In this room, at least, we still have the
control. And we have a Goddess who understands heartbreak too well. She loses her consort
each year as the sun wanes and there is nothing that can break this cycle
It seems cruel to ask me to celebrate The Great Marriage when my lover stands as a shell
of himself, a hateful thing wearing Lukes face. How can I praise love and marriage and all
things beautiful about the bond between lovers when my own may never come back to me? I
asked, even as I used the fury and the fear inside of me as the energy to light the candles set in
sconces all over the room with the flick of my hand.
Because I know from experience that if you let it, our faith can be the shelter in any storm.
It may be the place where we find our answers and even if it is not what we need to fix this, it
will give you the strength to go on even through the darkest night of your soul. So I will cast the
circle and you will call the Quarters and together we will do this ritual as if all is well because
there is nothing else we can do and this is a bad time to give up on the one light that always
burns to guide our darkest nights.
She was right about it all so I blocked out his screams that I could hear even from a distance
and I smiled softly when she put Celtic music into the CD player that I kept in the room before
she cast the circle and looked to me to call the Quarters. Then we stood joined together by
clasped hands before my altar decorated with flowers I had brought home the night before and
with our minds we lit the candles and the floral incense there, reciting from memory the words to
the ritual honoring the marriage of the Goddess to her God. We did not have a Maypole but that
didnt mean we couldnt dance and when a reel came on, we did dance in a bit of a circle within
our circle to the music. I was even able to laugh softly when we nearly stumbled over one
another. There was power in this and eventually it might be enough to heal my broken heart but
until then, it could at least soothe it temporarily.
The months that followed were absolute hell. Angel stayed until the night after the
Summer Solstice when we assured him it was ok to go and he left only after he imparted some
wisdom to me, that if a cure would be found, it would be up to me to find it. I kissed him on the
cheek and watched him go out bound once more for the coven house of sorts he had claimed as
his own in Arizona for reasons neither Kila nor I could understand. Lucius had taken his leave of
us after just two weeks and for the time being I had to admit, regrettably, that he was not
welcomed back to my home until Luke was himself again. That had come about as a result of a
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conversation I overheard between Lucius and Angel where Lucius made it clear that whenyes,
he had said whenthe time came he alone would find the strength to kill Lucania and Angel
would be unable to stop him. He was not my enemy nor was he Kilas but we both agreed that if
he came with such a thing on his mind he soon would be and even if we failed, we would fight
him to the death to keep him from doing harm to Luke. He saw it as a matter of doing what he
had to do but we were not bound by any obligations toward our kind and our loyalty to Luke
would not falter, not even in the face of the beast he had become.
Kila and I spent every night in the sitting room with Luke and we both heard a great deal of
hateful bullshit from him. Everything from him telling Kila that Aurelios only mistake had been
in letting her live instead of just killing her and taking the spells he was entitled to as her maker
to him telling me that I was nothing more than a pathetic peasant that wasnt even partially good
enough for a vampire of his caliber left the two of us furious more often than not and it hurt us
deeply but neither of us would show that, either to him or to each other. We didnt need to. We
had to be strong and for that we had to block the pain and lean on one another when things were
at their worst. I fed him when I could from my wrist but I did not feel that old passion in the act
anymore. Not when he was like that. He bitched every single time about the cold blood, he
usually accused me of trying to starve him to death, and he always insisted that I had done all of
this to him instead of unleashing him mad into the world because I enjoyed seeing him chained
and helpless but he eventually drank and that was all I cared about.
When Lughnasadh came and his screams could again be heard as we gathered outside to
perform the ritual, I went into a strange meditative state without attempting to do so and I was
told to write Angel and ask him about the vampire who had experienced madness like this
before, the one who could help. So as soon as the rite was complete, I went in and did that
immediately. He responded telling me the only vampire he could think of was Mother, that this
was why he hadnt told me about it before. Not to be deterred I wrote a letter to her telling her
about Lukes state assuming that even if she hated me still she would not let Luke linger like
this, not when she had loved him so much it was worth it to her to despise me for millenniums on
end and lose Lucius in the process just to keep Luke near. Kila showed me a spell that would
make sure a message reached who it was intended for even if the sender did not know where to
reach the recipient and a week later I received a letter from Mother saying only that she would
burn in hell before she lifted a finger to help the ungrateful bastard who had betrayed her.
Feeling as if we were running out of options, on the brink of panic, I started doing research using
vampire message boards on the internet that exist in all nations cloaked in a way that keeps
humans out. I asked vampires all over the world for suggestions. I researched spells and I tried
things that I thought would work only to be left disheartened time and again.
I awoke on the night of Samhain feeling a great weight on my shoulders, metaphorically
speaking. It was one night shy of being six months since Luke slipped into this state, he had
become increasingly violent with me so that I hadnt been able to feed him in a month, I was
running out of hope that he would ever return to me, and this was the night when the Goddess
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said farewell to her God, the night when his death was commemorated in ritual by witches
everywhere as the Goddess mourned. I walked into my sacred room to see that Kila had already
decorated my altar with fallen leaves she had collected in cities below us and with the names of
her ancestors and my own as we had no pictures of them and part of the ritual on this night
involved honoring them. In many parts of the world children would be rushing out into the night
in their little costumes to go door to door for treats honoring in a way that had always touched
Kila and me this ancient holy night. Usually this was our favorite time and in recent decades we
had always engaged in some kind of fun usually ending the evening with our favorite films like
Hocus Pocus and A Nightmare Before Christmas. In years past when we were together during
the month of October we had decorated our homes and had scary movie marathons as well as a
party on Halloween night. But this year we felt solemn and we could barely muster up the spirit
to do the ritual. Morrigan did not appear to us as she had so many centuries earlier but I felt her
there in the room as we worked and I was so sure I had seen her out of the corner of my eye that
I turned around as I was walking out of the room only to find the candles that would burn until
they went out on the altar with the names, the leaves, the decorations for the night.
Tis a shite Samhain this year, isnt it? Kila asked as we hunted.
The worst I can remember. I replied simply, keeping a close eye on the man I was
following.
I was so sure tonight we would wake up and find him as himself at last. She whispered.
I looked over at her and saw that there was indeed disappointment in her eyes, that she had
truly believed this would happen. Why? Did you do something, a spell perhaps?
You are going to think I am a fool butYou lost him, so to speak, on the night of the
Great Marriage and it seems like things happen with us in the opposite way that they happen on
the Wheel of the Year. Our most hopeful night is the Winter Solstice while, for humans, it is the
Summer Solstice. We dont celebrate the holy days of light with as much excitement as we do
Mabon, Samhain, and Yule because on Mabon the nights start growing longer, they are a bit
longer on Samhain, and longest on Yuleand then you lost your lover on the night when the
Goddess weds her own love. So I thought perhaps on this night, when she loses her lover, she
would give yours back to you. Like I said, it seems foolish now
No, it doesnt. It was a fair enough assumption and you are right about the rest of it. It
isnt foolish to hope, Kila, unless youve given up on him. I didnt wait to hear her reply. I saw
the opportunity to kill my prey and I did so with a smile. I was relying more and more on the
taking of life to keep me warm without Luke. I needed the memories of a victim to erase the
thoughts that were always in my mind as much as I needed the blood itself. I had to kill three
times on this night because Lukes one month fast seemed like enough to me and I wanted to
make sure he ate whether he wanted to or not. When we got home Kila offered to stay in the
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sitting room with me while I fed him but I told her firmly that I would be fine and she went off to
watch Halloween movies in her bed.
Going into the sitting room, I wished I hadnt listened to Kilas words and allowed a tiny
seed of hope to be planted in my heart. It was too late to hope Luke could come back to me on
this night and yet I had to admit that I clung to such tiny hope with both hands for a moment
before I pushed it away when he looked up at me and I saw that hard, cold look in his eyes.
Moving closer to him, I was surprised when he didnt try to fight me. Not one kick was leveled
my way even when I was right in front of him. With my fingernail I slit my wrist offering my
blood to Luke. Sucking but once, he spit it back on the floor and seethed, I dont want that! Its
cold as ice, goddamn it!
Of course it is. Im dead. But its this or you can starve. I am not risking suspicion by
bringing victims here and in case you havent noticed, our great home is quite a ways from a
hospital so stealing blood is not an option. By the time I traveled two hundred miles, even by air,
it would be cold when I came back. You can drink from me or dont drink at all. Its all the same
to me.
Im sure it is, you bitch. Why should you give a damn? You have me exactly where you
want me. Chained to a fucking wall, relying on you for everything, unable to break whatever
curse you have on me. Why not starve me to death as well? Fine thanks I get for taking you from
nothing and making you a queen.
I had backed away from him when he spit out the blood but this had me getting as close as I
could stand it. My heart had never ached like this before. I wanted it to be over, all of this, and I
wanted Luke with me again. Since the night I returned from Paris I had never been away from
him for any long length of time and this felt like holding on to a corpse on top of it all because
for all intents and purposes, Lucania was dead. You saved me. I will never deny it, even to the
beast that youve become. You saved me in every way that I could be saved by loving me as you
have all of these years, for following me through time and loving me again and again even when
I had no idea who you were. So I am repaying you in kind. You are my heart, my soul, and I will
not kill you, Lucania. I will not let anyone else kill you either. If I have to keep you like this for a
century, that is the way it will be. There is no burden too great to take on for you. If you think
you will taunt me until I end your life you are so completely mistaken. My love for you is too
great.
In response to this, he lunged at me using all of his strength against his chains. I thought that
they would give, that this would be the moment when the blood from the rose gave in against the
pressure. But it held. I dont love you. I never loved you. You took everything from me! You
took my family, my human life, everything! Mother was right when she said that each time I
found you, you destroyed a piece of me. This is the end result. I hope you like what youve
created.
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Even though he could still get free and he would rip me limb from limb if he did, I chanced
that to put my hands on the sides of his face. His words were not his own. I knew that. They still
hurt like hell but I didnt hold it against him. And it had been so long since I had touched him, so
long since I held him I have tried everything to find a cure for you. Kila has no answers,
Mother would let you die before she helped you, Lucius was no help at all, but Angelus says if
you are to be saved from this it will be me that saves you. I thought he meant by searching, you
know? I thought he meant that I would find the cure. But now I see the truth I was too blind to
see before. I wont find the answer, I am the answer. Luke, this is taking everything out of me,
watching you like this, being forced to treat you like a monster. He wouldnt look at me. He
was too busy squirming in an attempt to get my hands off of him. This wasnt working at all.
I was about to give it up for the night and close the shutters and the blinds against the light
that would eventually come, go to sleep and try again the following night. I even walked away
from him but something made me look back and in that split second I saw Luke inside of the
beast. His eyes softened and he was my love. I couldnt walk away. I couldnt let him endure
another day chained against stone held by loves power. I did shut the blinds, unsure how long it
would take me, but I was determined that the next time I walked away he would be at my side.
As I tried to investigate the way that the chains were positioned on the hook to see if I could
move them down so he might sit, he demanded, I want some of your blood. Im so hungry that I
suppose Ill drink from anything, even the likes of you.
Well, thats too damned bad. Im busy. Youll have to wait. Im so desperate to have my
love back that Ill endure the company of anything, even the likes of you. When I gave him a
cold smile he lunged forward once more which is exactly what I wanted. As he held the chains
taut, I was able to slip them down on his right side. Walking over to the left, I began to taunt him
knowing that would get the reaction I wanted from him. You should have seen who I had for
supper. He was huge, more blood than I thought I could handle alone. He was evil to the core
and I savored every drop of him. I cant remember the last time I had blood so hot, so bitter, like
wine from the Gods as it slid down my Again he lunged and quickly I slipped this chain
down as well. Knowing he would never sit if I asked him, I closed my eyes and whispered softly,
Im sorry, love. As I kicked him hard enough to drop him. I had no time to waste. Before he
could get up, I was behind him and because he hadnt fed in a month and all he had been given
for five months prior to that was blood from my wrist, he didnt have the strength to stop me
when I wrapped my arms around him and held him to me. His anger alone could not overpower
what I was set on doing to save him.
The feel of his body against me brought the tears to my eyes. I had been strong through all
of this, never showing the pain that was weighing on me to this thing with Lukes face. It would
have done no good. But with him held against me I was able to kiss his cheek and even the
terrible things he said meant nothing. Now you listen to me! I am not letting you go. You had a
million reasons to give up on me even before this life. You didnt have to follow me. But you
did! And now I will follow you if that is what it takes. This isnt who you are. Thousands of
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years you devoted to me, loving me over and over again. You always came back to me. Its time
to come back to me, Luke. Come back to me! He wasnt saying anything and his body was rigid
as if he would break free from me the first chance he got but I knew in my heart that something
was changing. I held him for a while longer before I stood and as I walked across the room to get
our flower that had been left in here the last six months as a reminder of our love he stayed in
place. No, he wasnt back completely but he was trying to return to me.
Taking my place behind him once more, I forced his hands to lace with mine, the flower
standing in midair between my palms. This is the magic of our love. Youve told me more times
than I could count that this flower is the physical proof of what we have. Can you feel it now?
Can you feel the pulse of a barely beating heart on the brink of death and the broken heart of a
vampire who had but a moment to make a choice, the tears of two lovers giving their all for one
another? Do you remember that night, the look of the wound in my side, the fear that I wasnt
coming back to you? Its all in there along with a hundred lives spent loving before that. I will
not wait to hear your first cry. I will follow you now or you will follow me. You come back to
me or at dawn I am opening those shutters and the sun can take us both. Well try again next
time. Because living on this earth without you is not a life and having you like this for all time is
living without you the same as if you were dead. We have twenty minutes until sunrise. Make
your choice.
I couldnt believe what I was saying but as I watched the clock I realized I meant it. Ten
minutes before dawn I moved in front of him and I laid the flower at his feet as I kissed him
deeply. He seemed shocked but not saved. I love you, sweet prince. I love you so much and I
am sorry that our story has to end like this. But I will find you. I promise you that. I will hear
your first cry and our love will not die. With that I stood and I made my way to the blinds.
Standing in the middle of the huge window I looked back at him and smiled despite the tears
coursing down my cheeks. Yes, I would find him again. With that in my heart I opened the
blinds only to find that I had not closed the shutters and I felt the terrible sting on my arm as the
rays burned my flesh.
Knocked to the floor, I looked up to see Luke closing the blind from the side so he didnt get
burned. What the hell were you doing? You could have died, Arianne! You could have died and
I didnt get to say it back, I didnt tell you I would find you! We would have been parted
What came from me as he held me calling me every sort of fool even as he kissed me was all the
months of pain and the realization that I believed so deeply that he wasnt coming back that I bet
my life on it and I almost lost everything. As he investigated the burn on my arm I clung to him
helplessly, unable to believe that he was really alright.
You came back to me. I whispered softly.
Of course I did. No amount of madness could keep me from saving you from yourself. You
knew that. You always knew that. Deeply he kissed me and I drank him in like a tall glass of
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water on a hot summers day. You saved me, sweet girl. Wipe the tears away. Our story did not
end today. We are vampires. Our story will never end.

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Chapter 17
Kila went home less than a week after she awoke and found her friend was indeed himself
again, that she had been quite right to hope he would return to me on Samhain, though even if it
saved him, she had no problem calling me a proper idiot for what I had done to bring him back
and when the tears came at the thought of how close she came to losing us both on one day, she
pushed them back by lamenting the loss of the chains she worked so hard on that Luke broke to
get to me just before the sun would have taken us both. But she left the house with a lighter spirit
than she had had in months after helping me cleanse the bad energy with sage before she went.
The next month Luke and I spent together was a dream. We couldnt tell each other enough how
much we loved one another, we couldnt keep our hands off of one another, we played every
sweet song, each romantic movie we owned, we were like newlyweds. Then we received a
handwritten letter and invitation from Kila asking that we come to Scotland for the Winter
Solstice, promising a grand party even as she added that we had urgent news to discuss. She was
inviting many others. On the guest list already were Angelus and Lucius of course as well as
Drake and Cinderella and possibly Cook and Cherise as well. She had even offered to invite
Rapunzel but Angel shot that down. So it would be us gathered on the longest night of the year to
hear her news and to celebrate the night with a party. She added that we were not to come even a
night early and that we were to meet not at her small house but at our own. We agreed of course
and it was after we received this letter that Luke finally shared with me the things I had told him
at the base of Mt. Olympus exactly a century earlier. He believed she had received the vision, the
message that would put her in the role of leader as we followed her toward battle. I agreed that
he was probably correct even as I lamented that we had but a month and a half of bliss before
reality came to intrude once more. But at least we had that much time. I would be a fool to act
ungrateful for it considering the uncertainty of the future.
During the long journey to Scotland I thought quite a bit about my life, about the ways that
immortality had shaped me, changed me, as well as the plethora of things I had seen through the
centuries and all of the lessons I had learned. The truth is, as a mortal and in my first century of
immortality I never would have guessed that human suffering could break a vampires mind
wide open but indeed it can. I never would have guessed that one could meet a Goddess standing
on a hill in the Scottish rain once and now I am so used to Morrigan that she is a cross between a
Mother and a friend as far as Im concerned. I never would have imagined that a computer could
help Pagans come into the light and find acceptance in the world or that technology and magic
could be of equal importance in the world yet now I believe they are. But at the core of my entire
existence the constant truths that have remained even in the face of all this drastic change and all
of these lessons learned is that appearances should not be taken at face value because a
gentleman could be a beast and a beast can be a prince in disguise and love honestly is the most
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powerful magic of all. The fact that I have had so much love, Ive known so much magic, is
enough to give me strength though I know not what the future holds and it is because of that
realization that I was able to get off of the plane at Oban airport and go up the new road that led
to the revived village of Kilas fathers Clan and past that nearly to Kilas own house. Joking
about how angry she probably was when that road was constructed, we walked through the door
of our own house and we laughed to see that we were literally the last ones to arrive.
Tis a damned good thing I didnt ask the two of you to be a few minutes late. We wouldnt
have seen you lot until New Years. Sit, both of you. Im ready to burst with what I know and I
want to enjoy as much of this night as I can. I took a chair beside of Angel while Luke sat
across from me. As we all knew this would come around this time per the prophecy from
Greece that I shared when Luke sent word of it to me, I suppose it wont be a big surprise that I
have seen the vision that told me the time of battle is near. Tonight is a start of many things and
while the battle is some time off yet, the first stages must begin immediately. After much prayer
and meditation on the issue, I have received word that this part of the preparation involves only
two of us females here along with one other if it can be accomplished. Dont worry, Luke, there
will be no swords drawn, no bombs dropped. This is about as peaceful a start to war as I have
ever known but it is going to be rather effective in gathering us and in showing Aurelio that we
do not fear him. I was told just before I sent the letters to begin writing out my story. But it was
dictated by Morrigan Luke stood suddenly and walked away while Kila sat in his chair so
that the three of us, Angel, Kila, and I sat in a circle before the fire place, Morrigan told me that
it is yours that must be put out into the world first. Something about it will have the most
profound effect on our enemy and it will work well in alerting many in our bloodline to what will
soon come.
Morrigan told you this outright? Angel asked. There was no surprise or doubt. He wanted
to know if this message was delivered in words or visions.
Yes and there is nothing to do but follow her wisdom. You know she is never wrong about
a few things and this battle is one of them. So it is time then to collect our stories and release
them. I want Rapunzels as well but Im not sure how we might talk her into it. She doesnt
know us and she hasnt talked to you in two centuries.
Dont worry about that. Rapunzel is very receptive to me in her dreams. Ill persuade her
to write her tale without her conscious knowledge that I had anything to do with it at all. Angel
assured Kila with a mischievous smile.
But arent you sleeping when she is? I thought you said she was in Hawaii. There is only a
three hour time difference between Hawaii and Arizona. I pointed out.
Of course Im sleeping. I can control my dreams, dear, and I can also direct them in order
to influence the dreams of another. All of the years spent under Kilas tutelage and you dont
know how to do this?
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I looked at Kila as if to echo this question of Angels but she only put a hand up to stop me
before I could speak. Lets get through this ordeal of writing our stories and lets fight this
battle with Aurelio. If we both live through it all, well work on dream control.
The three of us sat in our circle of chairs in the parlor silently mulling over our thoughts.
Finally I stated softly, I do not see the writing of our stories as an ordeal.
Kila laughed but the sound was bitter. Of course you dont. Your story is one of undying
and unconditional love. It is a story of two souls who found one another again and again and you
loved one another each time. My story is one of loss and heartbreak, capture and self-imposed
imprisonment. Its different for me.
Thats not completely true, you know. Your story has something just as powerful, just as
beautiful. Your story has magic. Youve lived on this earth for eight centuries and since the night
you were born youve always known magic. Whether it was used by you or stolen from you to
do you harm, you cannot deny the power of it or the power of your story.
I looked at her as she smiled and nodded her head as if in consent to my assessment.
Standing suddenly, she walked to the center of the room eliciting silence from everyone in the
room as we waited to hear what she would say.
I know that we are moving into uncertain times for our kind. It warms my heart to know that
we have this night together before we prepare to face what will come. All cultures once had holy
days to observe the power of the dark nights of winter. Because of the clever nature of the early
Christians it is still celebrated by people who find a way to bring warmth and light around the
time of the darkest night even now that the true meaning of this solstice night has been forgotten
by so many. Even though the suns cycles seen in the seasons no longer affect us the truth is we
all stand here tonight as princes and princesses of darkness. This is our night. We cannot
appreciate the light but we all need the darkness. We are gathered here in the home of my
mothers people built a thousand years ago by the father of all vampires for my ancestor long
before Lucius knew he would one night welcome a daughter of the family into his own
bloodline. We are all connected and we will face any threats to our kind as one. The princesses
will also give to the world of the living and the undead the stories of how we came to be. With
our princes at our sides we will set the record straight and if we do not make it through the battle
we will still have our immortality on the page. Let the darkness of this solstice night provide us
with a great hunt and may we remember that light that once guided us as we look upon the moon.
May the Lord and Lady be with us in the years to come. Bidh be beathail ged nach bitheadh tu
be ach leth-uair.! I couldnt help but laugh at the way she ended her speech. Live life to the
fullest even if you live only half an hour. It was ironic and she smiled at me in a way that told
me that was her intention.
Cinderella, the staunch Catholic even in immortality according to Drake, surprised Kila and
me by following us out for the solstice ritual. Though we said goodbye to the Holly King of the
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waning year and we welcomed the Oak King in for the six months that he would rule, Kila had
long ago re-written her mothers old ritual to reflect our appreciation for the long night. Morrigan
joined us for a time appearing as the raven while she perched first on Kilas shoulder and then on
mine. Before we finished everyone had come out. A strange mixture of ancient songs and
Christmas carols broke out and after we dismissed the circle Kila broke into a song she found on
the internet called Santa Claus is Pagan Too. We all erupted in laughter at the light hearted
tune. We played in the snow like children for a while and then we traveled to a city where no one
would notice a group of vampires come to feast for the night. We wandered the woods and we
sang as we played some more among the snow covered trees. If it was the beginning of the end
for us I had no complaints about the way it was starting.
At one point Luke caught me in his arms as I was running from Angel and I could only
laugh after he surprised me with a kiss. I cant wait to read our story, little beauty. At the end of
this battle I know that we will be victorious. All of you, our princesses of darkness, will return to
this place on another winter solstice night with the weight of your truths lifted by your words and
the cheer of victory adding to the joy of celebration. Our end is not coming. Beauty and her
Beast, Rapunzel and her Angel, and yes, Sleeping Beauty and her Warrior will return here soon
to give thanks to the darkness that protects us and the Gods who guide us.
Are you promising me a happy ending, my dark prince? I asked, stroking his cold white
cheek as he tightened his grip around my body to keep me from slipping to the ground.
Happy endings are the only endings weve ever known together in this life so it is nothing to
promise another. Of course this will all end happily. All fairytales do.
So they do and this is mine for now. Two souls that started out as one found each other no
matter what obstacles came between them. With a little magic and a great deal of love they built
a beautiful life from death and no matter what the future holds, they will always find one another
in the darkness by following loves light. Through the best and the worst they will persevere.
Because when love is meant to be it will carry on through time and space, from lifetime to
lifetime, and even death cannot defeat it. The Beauty shall always find her Beast and the Beast
shall always hear her cry. One way or the other, for a short time or forever, they will live happily
ever after.
The End
- Keair Snyder
Finished 1
st
draft May 4, 2013 at 5:19 p.m
Final Draft: July 15, 2013
12:45 a.m.