Fr.

Matta on "Coping with Spiritual Paralysis"

Whenever physical hunger turned cruel against me, I found my gratification in
prayer. Whenever the biting cold of winter was unkind to me, I found my warmth
in prayer. Whenever people were harsh to me (and their harshness was severe
indeed) I found my comfort in prayer. In short, prayer became my food and my
drink, my outfit and my armor, whether by night or by day."
"It is no joy for the church to have many active members of varied services who
lack the spiritual proficiency for renewing souls and regenerating them in a
genuine spiritual rebirth to win them for the Kingdom of eaven. !he true joy of
the "hurch lies in leaders who possess spiritual insight, who walk ahead of their
flocks so that the flocks can follow a sure path. It is not possible to obtain
spiritual insight by action or study, spiritual insight is attained by silence, retreat
and long prayers in their various stages."
"I felt I was late to come to the knowledge of "hrist# studying the $ible appeared
such a daunting task. In desperation, I asked the %ord to give me either a long life
to have enough time to study the $ible well, or enough wisdom to grasp its hidden
meanings. In is everlasting generosity, &od gave me both."
When asked why he never defended himself against the many accusations regarding
some of his writings, Father Matta El-Meskeen replied,
"'id you read the ()position of the &ospel of *ohn and benefit from it+ ... ,y son
I won-t spend my time replying to anyone, but, my son, I will die and they will die
and the "hurch will remain, as well as what we offered to her, and the ne)t
generations will judge us."
[!"
Saturday, 15 September 2012
Fr. Matta on "Coping with Spiritual Paralysis"
The Very Reverend Fr. Matta El Meskeen
For the enemy has pursued me; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made
me sit in darkness like those long dead." (Ps 143.3)
In times of spiritual aridity, prayer does not stop. There is nothing to demand that
it stop, since the entire soul is still inclined toward God and righteousness. It is not
as if it has lost its power or will to strive or to pray, for spiritual aridity has no
effect except the absence of the solace, pleasure, and loving encouragements that
are the companions and fruits of prayer.
piritual languor on the other hand! affects the "ill. #ere! the attack is aimed e$en at
our attempt to pray and to perse$ere in prayer. % man may stand to pray! &ut he
finds neither "ords to say nor po"er to carry on. #e may sit do"n to read! &ut the
&ook in his hands turns! as t. Isaac the yrian says! "into lead." It may remain open
for a "hole day! "hile the mind fails to grasp a single line. 'he mind is distracted!
una&le to concentrate on or follo" the meaning of the "ords passing &efore it. 'he
"ill! "hich controls all acti$ity! is impotent.
%lthough the desire to pray is present! the po"er and "ill to do so are a&sent. In the
end! e$en the desire to pray may fade. (an &ecomes una&le and un"illing to pray!
adding to his suffering and sorro". #is pro&lems seem entirely insol$a&le.
If man tries to plum& the depths of his soul! he finds himself at a loss! for its depths
are &eyond his reach. It is as if his spiritual footing has &een lost! alienating him from
the essence of his life. If he tries to e)amine his faith and secretly measure it in his
heart! he finds that it has died! gone. If he knocks at the door of hope! if he clings to
the promises of *od he had once cherished and li$ed &y! he finds in "hat he used to
find hope has no" turned to ice. #ope is stuck in the cold present and not "illing to
mo$e &eyond it.
'he enemy sei+es this opportunity! striking "ith all his firepo"er. #e launches an
offensi$e,to con$ince man of his failure! of the ruin of all his struggle and effort. 'he
enemy tries to persuade man that his "hole spiritual life "as not true or real! that it
"as nothing &ut fanciful illusions and emotions. #e clamps do"n on man-s mind
that he might once and for all deny the spiritual life.
.et! amidst all these crushing inner &attles! the soul someho" has an intuition that
all these dou&ts are untrue and that something must e)ist on the other side of the
darkness. It also feels that! in spite of itself! it is still &ound to the *od "ho has
forsaken it. 'he soul continues to "orship *od "ithout reali+ing or e$en "anting to/
0eep "ithin! far a"ay from the mind-s eye or discernment! the heart continues to
pray,al&eit it is a prayer that gi$es him no comfort or assurance.
1hen the enemy seeks to deal his fatal &lo"! trying to force the soul to renounce its
faith and hope! he encounters no response. 'he soul may gi$e in to the enemy in the
&attle of the mind in complete surrender and to the farthest limits of error. 2ut it is
a&solutely impossi&le for the soul to take action! for at the point "here imagination
and thought turn into action! the "ill springs forth like a lion out of his den to terrify
all the fo)es of corruption.
#ence! &ehind spiritual languor there e)ists a relationship "ith *od that! though
inacti$e! is real and still $ery strong! stronger than all the "hispers of the de$il. .et
until the decisi$e moment of danger! this relationship sleeps.
'his relationship remains hidden from the soul. It is $ain to try to con$ince a soul of
its e)istence! that the soul might rely on this or reassure itself of its presence. For in
this tri&ulation! the soul is called to stand alone.
'he soul remains "ithin the sphere of *od-s dominion. %lthough una"are! it is still
making progress and on the right path. It is still led &y an in$isi&le hand and carried
&y an unfelt po"er. 'he tangi&le proof for all this is the e)treme! constant grief of the
soul o$er its fall from its former acti$ity! +eal! and prominent effort into its present
state.
'he mo$ement of faith "as &orn one day "ithin the heart of the pilgrim! no" on the
trek "hose final destination is *od. Faith "as lit like a lamp "ith the light of *od. It
"as kindled &y lo$e and +eal and has pushed the soul for"ard on its march. 'he
pilgrim must not &elie$e that this mo$ement can &e a&ruptly "ithdra"n from the
depths of his heart! that he can &e left in such sudden emptiness.
It cannot &e assumed that a man "ill constantly see or feel the light or "armth of
*od. .et &oth are constant and acti$e! &oth in the light of this life as "ell as in its
darkness! its coldness as "ell as its "armth! its happiness as "ell as its grief. 'he "ay
of the spirit is not to &e measured e)clusi$ely &y periods of light! "armth! 3oy! or
fruitful acti$ity. Periods of impasse! of darkness engulfing the soul! of grief "hich
oppresses the heart! periods of coldness paraly+ing all spiritual emotion are
insepara&le parts of the narro" spiritual "ay. uch conditions seem ad$erse! painful!
and deadly. 1hat matters is ho" "e face them. 'his is "hat determines our
"orthiness to proceed further! completing the &lessed struggle until "e recei$e our
cro"ns.
'his de&ilitating languor of the spirit is &y far the direst tri&ulation of the soul!
indeed the clima) of its purging e)perience. It is similar only to death. 4nly under
the "ing of the %lmighty-s perfect pro$idence can man "ithstand such a trial! for
during this ordeal the soul in its grief! like 5o&! reaches the point in "hich it yearns
for death.
0uring all these torments! the afflicted person is not totally depri$ed of the hope of
*od-s mercy. #e ne$er stops looking up to"ard *od! e$en on the $erge of despair;
rather! he "aits for a great and "onderful sal$ation. Inasmuch as the tri&ulation
presses hard! his soul &ecomes clearer and purer. 'he $ision of the %lmighty-s
ma3esty is un$eiled! together "ith the intensity of his lo$e and faithfulness to"ard
the human soul. Pre$ious sufferings seem to fall like scales from the eyes of the soul.
It is here that the soul &uilds up its faith in *od. It is not on the &asis of &lessings
that pass a"ay! on protection and $isi&le care! nor on tangi&le e$idence or reasona&le
proof! &ut on "the assurance of things hoped for! the con$iction of things not seen"
(#e& 11.1).
In the same "ay! e$ery soul that lo$es 6hrist "ill &e! "ithout e)ception! $indicated at
the end. 7o matter ho" &itter the spiritual e)perience! it still kno"s its final share. It
cra"ls for"ard! in3ured &ut looking to"ard 6hrist. 'he soul! the forsaken &elo$ed!
calls to him "ho has &ought her "ith his &lood! ne$er once s"er$ing from her trust in
her 8o$er.
'rust may fade from $ie" &ut is ne$er lost. Faith may sometimes come to a halt &ut
ne$er comes to an end. Feelings of lo$e may sink out of sight! yet they are still
preser$ed in the depths of the soul to spring forth at the end of the trial "ith an
in$inci&le po"er.
Excerpted from pp. 24!24" of 4rthodo) Prayer 8ife9 'he Interior 1ay by #ather
uotes
o Whenever physical hunger turned cruel against me, # found my
gratification in prayer. Whenever the $iting cold of winter was unkind to me, #
found my warmth in prayer. Whenever people were harsh to me %and their
harshness was severe indeed& # found my comfort in prayer. #n short, prayer
$ecame my food and my drink, my outfit and my armor, whether $y night or $y
day.
o #t is no 'oy for the church to have many active mem$ers of varied services
who lack the spiritual proficiency for renewing souls and regenerating them in a
genuine spiritual re$irth to win them for the (ingdom of )eaven. *he true 'oy of
the +hurch lies in leaders who possess spiritual insight, who walk ahead of their
flocks so that the flocks can follow a sure path. #t is not possi$le to o$tain spiritual
insight $y action or study, spiritual insight is attained $y silence, retreat and long
prayers in their various stages.
o # felt # was late to come to the knowledge of +hrist, studying the -i$le
appeared such a daunting task. #n desperation, # asked the .ord to give me either a
long life to have enough time to study the -i$le well, or enough wisdom to grasp
its hidden meanings. #n )is everlasting generosity, /od gave me $oth.
o When asked why he never defended himself against the many accusations
regarding some of his writings, Father Matta El-Meskeen replied, "0id you read
the E1position of the /ospel of 2ohn and $enefit from it3 ... My son # won4t spend
my time replying to anyone, $ut, my son, # will die and they will die and the
+hurch will remain, as well as what we offered to her, and the ne1t generations
will 'udge us."
[5"
%*he /ospel of the day of his departure %2une 6, 5!!7& according
to the +optic .ectionary was 2ohn 89:8;-59.&