A Propos de Rien

For the August 2004 mang of the Fantasy Amateur Press Assocaton by
|m Caughran, 43 Dngwa Avenue, Toronto Ontaro, M4| 1C4 Canada;
caughran@rogers.com. Io page 1 by Rotser. Font change: new fonts are
Btstream Vera Serf and Btstream Vera Sans-Serf. (These are open source
fonts.) Dngbats are FFDngbests.
We are seduced by IIttIe thIngs. "II
spend a Iew mInutes readIng the
emaII, then work on my IapazIne."
A Iew mInutes, oI course, turns Into
a coupIe oI hours, then somethIng
eIse comes up requIrIng attentIon,
and the maIIIng comments are Ior-
gotten.
AIter gettIng IIred In january 2003, trIed to IInd work and dIscov-
ered that my appIIcatIons were greeted wIth totaI sIIence. t was
1APA


IIke throwIng a sponge Into a Iog bank. dId a smaII bIt oI contract
work and coIIected unempIoyment.
MeanwhIIe, the stock market was ImprovIng, and dIscovered,
earIy thIs year, that can aIIord to retIre. "Iot Iout!" saId to my-
seII, "II have tIme Ior Ianac. can wrIte a Ioc every day, and make
every maIIIng!"
Sure.
Shaw 1estvaI juIy 8, we went to Iagara on the Iake to see Man
and Superman. wouId have IIked to have seen the IuII 5-hour ver-
sIon wIth the on juan In IeII act IncIuded, but the dates dIdnt
work out Ior us. Shaw was wItty, but what was outrageous a cen-
tury ago Is IaIrIy mIId now. ActIng was good and the mInImaI sets
were InterestIng (and they aIIowed a quIck vIew oI the IeII set wIth
the announcement that the scene was omItted).
The Iagara penInsuIa Is OntarIos IruIt area. We vIsIted a coupIe
oI wInerIes and pIcked a coupIe oI pounds oI cherrIes Irom the
Ss trees. The S peopIe were "semI-retIred", whIch means
they Iet out rooms and run a IImousIne servIce. They had a chance
to buy a jaguar, then a IoIIs Ioyce, and It went on Irom there.
They have 3 IIs (2 workIng, one Ior parts), a entIey, an ngIIsh
aImIer, a TI-3, a Iew jaguars, a IuII stretched IImousIne, and
more. t must add up to more than a mIIIIon worth oI automobIIes.
IrIday we drove to the WeIIand CanaI and watched the KwIntebank
move through Iock 3. (ven a shIp has a websIte these days.
http://koti.mbnet.fi/hhl/00-kwintebank.htm) Then we drove
toward Iake rIe and spent some tIme waIkIng about In WeIIand
next to a prevIous versIon oI the canaI.
Benovatons Weve been beset by renovatIons. AIter more than
IIve weeks oI tryIng to IIve In two rooms, dust and dIrt, cIutter eve-
rywhere, m tIred oI It. The contractor got sIck, then had truck
probIems. A IIrm caIIed "StaIr Trek" deIIvered a new staIrway, but
IInked out on the raIIIngs. ThIngs shouId have been done by now
(june 16), but It Iooks IIke more than another week. juIy 2. contrac-
tors are IInIshed, but weve got to paInt. t goes on Iorever, IIke a
bad battery commercIaI.
ScrabbIe: A new hobby Is competItIve ScrabbIe. janet and used
to thInk we were moderateIy good pIayers (we knew the two-Ietter
words and pIayed paraIIeI to aIready pIayed words), but aIter joIn-
Ing the Toronto ScrabbIe CIub, Its cIear we are onIy so-so. IIIe Is a
contInuIng opportunIty to Iearn thIngs.
Baccoons: The other mornIng, the cats meowed Ior Iood IoudIy.
There shouId have been some In theIr bowI, but It was empty, and
we couIdnt IInd the bIn where we keep theIr suppIy. Then we dIs-
covered that the baIcony door was open, an InvItatIon Ior raccoons
to vIsIt and mooch. ut the whoIe bIn? Today we Iound the bIn,
empty, outsIde In the garden behInd a tree. There was no cIear
path Irom the baIcony to the garden, down 3 metres or so Irom the
baIcony.
Format your fanzine to be read online
(reprInted Irom truIen.net May 28)
GIven that many oI us read Ian-
zInes onIIne, we shouId make our
IanzInes as attractIve and read-
abIe onIIne as we can. Some oI us,
IncIudIng john Ioyster and arI
Kemp, have desIgned theIr Ian-
zInes Ior the computer screen.
Most oI us desIgn Ior paper and
Ignore the Iact that our zInes are
read onIIne.
Kemp and Ioyster use dIIIerent
approaches In theIr desIgn. Kemp
desIgns hIs IanzInes as web
pages. There Is no attempt to Iay
out text and pIctures In 'pages.'
Ioyster IaId hIs IanzInes out In
two-coIumned pages wIth a
screen-IIke aspect ratIo. The page
Is vIsIbIe as a unIt, and can be
read wIthout scroIIIng.
t Is possIbIe to use dIIIerent
ITMI styIes Ior dIIIerent pur-
poses. CSS, the ITMI styIe Ian-
guage, Is quIte IIexIbIe and aIIows
you to use one Iormat Ior the
screen and another Ior prIntIng.
The basIcs oI usIng a dIIIerent
styIesheet Ior prIntIng than Ior
screen dIspIay Is set out In A IIst
Apart,
www.alistapart.com/articles/printyour
way/. There Is nothIng terrIbIy dII-
IIcuIt, and the CSS/ITMI ap-
proach works quIte weII. Text can
IIow around IIIos and sIdebars
(W3 CSS standard Ior vIsuaI ren-
derIng,
www.w3.org/TR/REC-CSS2/ visuren.html)
and you can controI wIdows and
orphans, keep reIated thIngs to-
gether and set gutter margIns
(W3 CSS standard Ior paged ma-
terIaI,
www.w3.org/TR/REC-CSS2/page.html).
Ior somethIng IIke Kemp's e that
was Intended Ior screen dIspIay
and wrItten In ITMI, those who
InsIst on prIntIng theIr IanzInes
wouId have a better IookIng paper
copy.
ut on paper, doubIe-coIumn text
Is easIer to read and has some
other IormattIng advantages.
There seems to be no way to take
advantage oI It Ior ITMI-based
documents. Text sImpIy doesn't
IIow vertIcaIIy Irom one coIumn to
another. Short oI wrItIng IaIrIy
sophIstIcated scrIpt to put text
Into boxes, or usIng a prInt pro-
gram to put two "pages" sIde by
sIde on a sheet, there doesn't
seem to be a way to contInue text
Irom the bottom oI coIumn one to
the top oI coIumn two.
There are Iots oI reIerences to
two-coIumn ITMI pages onIIne,
but what that means Is puttIng the
maIn text In one coIumn, and a
menu or sIdebar In a second.
I we start wIth a paper versIon
and want to make It attractIve on
the screen, It Is not overIy dIIIIcuIt
to make two versIons oI a IanzIne
that has more text than IIIos.
There Is IIttIe reason not to ac-
commodate both paper and
screen readers, usIng an ITMI
versIon wIth a prInt styIe, an
ITMI versIon and a paper II,
or a paper II and a screen II.
Ior onIIne desIgn, narrower coI-
umns are usuaIIy easIer to read
than wIde coIumns. OnIIne, It
doesn't matter how Iong a page Is,
you can scroII Iorever wIth a IIn-
ger on the down-arrow. So maybe
onIIne documents shouId be Iong
and skInny. WIth an ITMI docu-
ment, the reader can adjust the
wIndow sIze to her preIerences.
On the other hand, II you're usIng
doubIe-coIumn Iormat on paper,
you may want a sImIIar appear-
ance Ior the screen versIon. I so,
a page wIth two coIumns shouId
IIt on a screen, eIAC-styIe.
To start wIth a paper IanzIne and
modIIy Ior the screen, IIrst create
and prInt your paper versIon, on
paper and on II. Then save an-
other copy oI your zIne as a
screen versIon and reIormat. n
Word (whIch 'm IamIIIar wIth),
wouId do thIs reIormat as IoIIows.
1) ote the pIaces where want
IuII-sIzed Images. the cover,
Iarge IIIos, maybe some other
vIsuaI eIIects.
2) IvIde the document Into sec-
tIons around the IuII-sIzed
"pages". SectIons Is a powerIuI
Word Ieature that's underused.
t aIIows very dIIIerent Iormat-
tIng In adjacent parts oI the
document. n thIs case, the dII-
Ierent IormattIng Is goIng to be
page sIze.
There are a coupIe oI ways to
Insert sectIons In Word. The
straIght-Iorward way Is n-
sert/reak/SectIon break (con-
tInuous or new page). Then re-
Iormat each sectIon. The easIer
way Is to seIect text and appIy
IormattIng. I Word needs to
create a new sectIon, It does.
Ior exampIe, seIect a bunch oI
text and appIy a dIIIerent page
sIze to the seIectIon. Word cre-
ates a sectIon break beIore and
aIter the seIectIon, and reIor-
mats the Inbetween to IIt on the
new sIze.
3) To change page sIze, IIIe/Iage
Setup/Iaper SIze.
4) IrInt a screen II.
thInk that to Ignore the Iact that
your IanzIne Is dIstrIbuted by the
nternet Is to deny reaIIty. IeopIe
wIII read your IanzIne on the
screen, make It good-IookIng and
as easy to read as possIbIe.
Manuscript found in a Bottle
When was quIte young, ad-
dressed a message to persons
unknown, put It Into a catsup
bottIe and cast It Into the orth
IIatte rIver. ImagIned It wouId
IIow wIth the rIver, traveIIng to
the IIatte, mergIng wIth the
MIssourI and passIng out oI the
contInent wIth the MIssIssIppI.
Who knows, It mIght traveI
across the AtIantIc and be Iound
by someone In urope!
ut It probabIy stIII IIes burIed
In a sandbar In western e-
braska.
dont remember what was In
the message. IrobabIy not much
more than my address, scrawIed
In an eIght-year-oIds recentIy-
Iearned aIphabet.
Many years Iater, Augusto and
used to saII oII the west coast oI
Iuerto IIco. We saIIed a Ihodes
19, a seductIve boat that gave
the IeeIIng It couId navIgate wa-
ters It reaIIy shouIdnt. We went
to oIIshore IsIands, notabIy sIa
Mona, but more oIten esecheo,
a rock somewhat cIoser to May-
aguez.
The wInds were, as aIways, Iess
than perIect. On each trIp, some
hours wouId be spent drIItIng
and wIndIess. We mIght do a IIt-
tIe work on the boat, or strIp oII
cIothIng and swIm. WhIIe you
mIght suppose that swImmIng
Iar away Irom Iand or reeI, 800
Iathoms Irom the bottom, mIght
be duII, In Iact It was IascInat-
Ing. There were no reIerence
poInts, IookIng down saw wa-
ter extendIng Iorever. The suns
rays converged toward InIInIty.
One tIme was IoaIIng In the
boat whIIe Tuto was scrapIng
weeds and barnacIes oII the bot-
tom. SuddenIy he jumped out oI
the water and Ianded In the
boat, excIaImIng somethIng
about a shark! SmaII IIsh had
converged to eat the scrapIngs,
then Iarger IIsh to threaten the
smaII IIsh, and so on.
OIten we wouId drIIt toward an
area where garbage wouId coI-
Iect In the sea. Iogs, grass, too
much styroIoam and pIastIc,
wouId be heId by currents, con-
gregatIng In a IIoatIng dump.
dont know the mechanIcs oI It,
but somehow everythIng drIIted
together.
oes somethIng sImIIar happen
In rIvers, so that the catsup bot-
tIes oI chIIdrens ImagInatIons
coIIect on a common sandbank?
s there a treasure oI hopes oI
communIcatIon, cIrcIed by cat-
IIsh and carp?
February Mang
TRlAL AND AlR
Waite
y postmaIIIng, yours was the
IIrst IapazIne receIved oI thIs
maIIIng, by a Iong shot.
met Thomas Merton once, Iong
ago In another IIIe. Ie was at
the TrappIst Abbey oI Geth-
semanI, and InvIted the men oI
the uaker meetIng In IexIngton
Kentucky to vIsIt. To be honest,
dIdnt reaIIy know who he was,
but It sounded IIke an InterestIng
day, so agreed to go.
Merton, In Iact, wanted to taIk
about current aIIaIrs, mostIy
thIngs we had aIready taIked
out. TrappIsts dont have a Iot oI
chances to taIk current aIIaIrs. t
was an InterestIng day, It
brought me an awareness oI
monastIc IIIe. t was no more
than a Iew months beIore hIs
death.

Your paragraph on the amzaIng
power to read text despIte per-
mutatIons oI the Ietters makes
prooIreadIng very dIIIIcuIt. *
The Iarry Warner and john
Ioyster memorIaIs are approprI-
ate and apprecIated. xampIes
oI Iarrys cIear exposItIon and
understated humour shouId be
preserved. 1 suppose the an-
thoIogIzIng oI IanzIne artIcIes
Iarry mentIons In the artIcIe
about Iapa has been reaIIocated
to CorIIu specIaI pubIIcatIons.
Good StuII!
NlCE DlSTlNCTlONS
Hlavaty
AmerIcan soIdIers who Ieave the
mIIItary In protest agaInst the
raq war are deserters, seems
ush IeIt the mIIItary In order to
do hIs own thIng. oesnt that
make hIm a deserter? Or Is de-
sertIon somethIng onIy peopIe
wIthout poIItIcaI connectIons do?
(There Is a IegaI deIInItIon whIch
Is, thInk, 60 days overdue.) >
receIved an emaII today askIng

that we InsIst that the Ires re-
store marrIage to Its IbIIcaI
state-poIygamous, wIth concu-
bInes, vaIId onIy II the wIIe Is a
vIrgIn (penaIty Ior mIsrepresen-
tatIon, death), etc. t gave IuII
IbIIcaI reIerences. man-
aged not to see a sIngIe repIay oI
the bare nIppIe. dont know II
thats vIrtuous or sImpIy a sIgn
that m out oI touch. IeopIe
MagazIne and the tabIoIds, by
reIerrIng to movIe stars by IIrst
name, try to make the reader
IeeI she knows these peopIe and
theIr prIvate paIns IntImateIy.
"IrIvate paIns" mIght, suppose,
IncIude the artIcIe wrIters.
YHOSTwidner
njoyed your rambIIngs. 7
Iooked up KennIwIck Man onIIne,
to dIscover that not a whoIe Iot
Is known about hIm, IargeIy be-
cause the status oI hIs bones Is
stIII In court. The IIrst guy to get
the bones created the "Cauca-
sIan" and "IIcard" IabeIs, but he
probabIy dId not know enough to
say so, and the note saw ImpIIc-
ItIy questIoned hIs competence.
Chauvenet has been mIssed.

ALL SlNKlNGBurnett
"AII SInkIng" sounds IIke the
capItaI oI IInIand. At Iearys
tIme, the IocatIon oI the orth
IoIe was probabIy Iuzzy, so he
mIght be IorgIven Ior mIssIng It.
A IussIan trIed to skI to Canada
vIa the orth IoIe Iast year or
thIs, and IaIIed, Ior hIm, the
orth IoIe admIts onIy a metre
or so oI error. was surprIsed
to see a Iot oI peopIe smokIng In
a spaceshIp In the IIIm AIIen.
IogIc shouId IorbId the cost oI
cIeanIng the aIr Irom cancerous
partIcIes. These days, there
seem to be aII kInds oI Interest
groups on the web, one or more
oI whIch mIght appeaI to me aI-
most as much as Iandom. ut
here have tenure and InertIa.
ALPHABET SOUP
Stevens
ActIng. the Iast coupIe oI pIays
saw (CookIng at the Cookery,
The SyrInga Tree) each requIred
an actress to pIay many roIes
wIth very dIIIerent personas.
(ThIs was wrItten beIore the
Shaw revIew above.) So It was
evIdent she was actIng, and evI-
dent that she was doIng It weII.
The hIgh cost oI actIng seems to

mean that pIays have Iew actors,
and those Iew must be very ver-
satIIe. n movIes you can take It
more Ior granted. Iemember
how oIten WIndows 98 crashed,
and you may not want to return
to It. expect that In tIme, MI-
crosoIt wIII make It dIIIIcuIt to
contInue usIng my WIndows
2000, and II swItch to IInux.
My IavourIte exampIe oI cuIturaI
dIIIusIon Is haIaI pIzza, wIdeIy
avaIIabIe near here.
SYNAPSESpeer
IeIerrIng endnotes back to page
numbers wouIdnt be aII that
much more dIIIIcuIt, II the pub-
IIshers soItware Is desIgned Ior
It. IateIy, endnotes seem to add
chapter tItIes, whIch Is at Ieast a
IIttIe better than just the chapter
number. ` IeIerrIng to "what
you quoted" doesnt teII the
reader much about what youre
taIkIng about. 1 "ventuaIIy aII
oI IatIn AmerIca except Cuba
became Iree." I you mean they
arent MarxIst, okay, but that Is
not synonymous wIth "Iree".
(You couId say that IInochet
Ireed ChIIe Irom AIIende, but
ChIIeans wouIdnt agree.) The
governments In severaI IatIn
AmerIcan countrIes are more
IrIendIy to !S corporatIons than

they are to theIr own peopIe. ~
ThIs word processor does strIke-
overs.
FELlNE MEWSlNGS
Tutihasi
We IeIt the Iast computer we
dIscarded In Iront oI the house.
t dIsappeared a coupIe oI days
Iater, hope someone Iound
some use Ior It. (Iard drIves,
etc., had been removed.) Iow
bIood pressure got me out oI
compuIsory IOTC at !. CaI In
1958. checked the "IaIntIng
speIIs" box on an InIormatIon
Iorm based on havIng IaInted
when rIsIng quIckIy. IOTC had
had some probIems wIth peopIe
IaIntIng on the parade ground,
and dumped me. was gIad to be
dumped. thInk the stresses oI
IIIe have raIsed my bIood pres-
sure back to normaI sInce that
tIme.
WElRD TALES
Everts
suppose that II you are Iorced
to Iook through oId census re-
cords, you have to do somethIng
wIth the InIormatIon.

SAFARl 3.3Kemp
II IorgIve "Iow are you" (apart
Irom strangers over the teIe-
phone) on the grounds that Its
an attempt to make me IeeI hu-
man, even II requIred by the
boss.
BEN'S BEAT 76lndick
IIked your aIternatIves to Ianac.
watchIng TV sItcoms or wres-
tIIng matches, or pIayIng soII-
taIre wIth the computer. ~
probabIy wouId not have seen
the IIngs movIes were It not Ior
the teen-aged chIIdren. IavIng
seen them, my maIn reactIon Is,
So?" Why we need another
KIng Kong. KK2 had the gorIIIa
cIImbIng the WorId Trade Cen-
ter, and sInce that Is no Ionger
there, obvIousIy he has to cIImb
somethIng eIse. aIways en-
joy your brIeI theatre revIews.
|rIeI technoIogy note. wanted
to Iook up rIcs zIne aIter your
reIerence, but have no Idea
where that maIIIng Is. SoIutIon.
eIanzInes.com.|
SMOKlN' ROCKETS
Katz
IeedIng pIgeons and seaguIIs
seems IIke IeedIng IIyIng rats.

Theyre dIsease-bearIng scaven-
gers, damn It! So at Ieast one
oI ens aIternatIves to Ianac Is
reaI Ior you. Can one In Iact pIay
soIItaIre at a casIno there? have
been addIcted to SoIItIIe and to
IreeCeII at varIous tImes, but
recentIy, pIay a vocabuIary
game to reInIorce ScrabbIe
words. Aaagh! just trIed
IreeCeII to see II couId re-
member It. !nIortunateIy,
couId. M Iynne Truss says, "t Is
customary In the !K to bIame aII
exampIes oI Ianguage erosIon on
the pernIcIous InIIuence oI the
!S." ApparentIy It Is customary
Ior Ians on eIther sIde oI the At-
IantIc to bIame a perceIved Ioss
oI IanzIne quaIIty on those on
the other sIde. Why, asIde Irom
that custom, wouId ArnIe Iament
the InIIuence oI rItIans yet not
be abIe to gIve up contact wIth a
dozen oI them? 4 ut hes on
the rIght track wIth hIs gonad
soIutIon, II Ians keep each other
satIsIIed, we wIII aII wrIte Ian-
nIsh masterpIeces. Andy
Ioopers reveIatIons that one
can seII 89 toys Ior severaI doI-
Iars couId kIII hIs busIness, II
others rush out to KMart to joIn
hIm. 7 StInsons compIaInt
about undue pubIIshIng oI parts
oI prIvate emaII returns us to

yesteryear, when peopIe saId the
same thIngs about paper Ietters.
Iunny how even though every-
thIngs dIIIerent, nothIng has
changed. WhIIe IIoyd Ienney
seems to have a wIsh IIst Ior
Santa CIaus, thInk hIs IantasIes
oI what to do II he won a Iottery
Is what the IotterIes are seIIIng-
that Is, theyre seIIIng IantasIes.
VlCK lN NlCKVick
thought that Ick Iarey was
the author oI thIs Ior a Iew sec-
onds, a deIusIon not contra-
dIcted by coIophon. As saId
up there somewhere, a good
prInter can prInt coIIated copIes
(reverse prInt order and prInt
the even-numbered sIdes IIrst),
but II a prInter Ieeds doubIe or
otherwIse gets out oI synch, aII
Is Iost. AImost any prInter can
prInt 68 IdentIcaI copIes on one
sIde, then 68 on the back sIde,
IeavIng Its human to dance
around a tabIe IIIIed wIth pIIes oI
paper. Most drawIng Is easIer
on paper, then scanned, rather
than tryIng to draw wIth a
mouse. "rawIng wIth a mouse
Is IIke drawIng wIth a bar oI
soap." My daughter Sara saId
that to me, dont know who
saId It to her, II anyone. B AIter
the TyIenoI poIsonIngs, a manu-

Iacturer In a IItIgIous socIety IIke
the !S has to protect agaInst
aduIteratIons. Thus your seaIed
shampoo.
SWEET ]ANEEklund
ts IronIc that aIter the !S spent
so many bIIIIons In the coId war,
the opponent countrIes IeII to
nonvIoIent popuIIst movements
(except Ior IumanIa, whIch was
vIoIent, and ChIna, whIch was
not successIuI). emocracy Is
a Ioaded word. suspect every
country In the worId caIIs ItseII
democratIc. About aII It means Is
"our sIde". "There has never
been a war between democra-
cIes" Is, thereIore, meanIngIess.
ndIng war requIres justIce, and
unIess there Is some economIc
IeveIIng, beIng a democracy
wont heIp the !S. As an exam-
pIe, II the !S had used one or
two oI those bIIIIons to make
cIean drInkIng water avaIIabIe to
everyone, the worId wouId be
saIer than It Is aIter they wasted
It on aII those nukes and aIrcraIt
carrIers. + KIIIIng MusIIms
wont create peace. II go wIth
A. j. Muste. "There Is no way to
peace. Ieace Is the way."

CRAZY FROM THE
HEATVegrants
TIme to pIay another IreeCeII.
amn you, joyce! . II Iet rIch
brown get excIted over the Iord
oI the IIngs movIes. saw them,
trIed to read the book once,
and It aII seems tedIous. ~
AIIeen has been spoIIed by CaII-
IornIa, Its pIaIn. suppose much
oI what she saw In owa wouId
have been IamIIIar to me In e-
braska when was young, but
wouId have accepted It as natu-
raI, not repeIIIng. Iarts un-
known mIght be a weIcome
break. Iow do stand Ior I!II?
~ Good stuII, aII oI It.
UNSALVAGEABLE
TRA]ECTORYHinz
hadn't notIced cIassIcaI or
other musIc In Toronto's sub-
ways, save Ior the IIcensed
buskers who pIay a wIde range
oI thIngs (wIth a wIde range oI
quaIItIes). "nteIIIgence pIays
some roIe In an organIsm's sex-
uaI conduct." Iow do anImaIs-
geese, say-who mate Ior IIIe se-
Iect theIr partners? CoIIec-
tIons. "The cost oI cIImate con-
troI Is Iess than the harm caused

by poor cIImatIc condItIons."
Ierdue once Iet IIIk and Iook
through hIs coIIectIon Ior dupII-
cates, housed In an open ceIIar
under hIs house. opened an oId
Icebox, and Iound a treasure oI
earIy AstoundIngs. jo drew a
cartoon oI It, "What about these
AstoundIngs In the reIrIgerator,
Meyer?" 1 The McMIchaeI cura-
tors contInue to try to put mod-
ern art Into the museum, whIIe
the heIrs oI the McMIchaeIs con-
tInue to sue to IImIt the coIIec-
tIon to paIntIngs onIy a IIttIe bIt
abstract. There was another
court decIsIon onIy a month or
two ago. wIsh you couId
speII "Its".
TERMlNAL EYES
Marion
VIsuaIIy stunnIng, as aIways.
IIked the Mota cover, In the
mIddIe oI the zIne. ~ The Mar-
tIn Iuther KIng quotatIon Is
quIte powerIuI, and, yes, It ap-
pIIes to ushs war. The paraIIeIs
oI raq wIth VIetnam are gettIng
more and more dIsturbIng. n
the TruIen group, It was re-
veaIed that II the waIIs need
paIntIng, you have space Ior
more bookcases. ` Your hear-

Ing Ioss may be partIy caused by
your musIcaI preIerences.
thInk were raIsIng a generatIon
oI near-deaI peopIe due to Ioud
musIc. AntI-depressant medI-
catIon Is a wonderIuI thIng these
days, though they shouId proba-
bIy be reserved Ior chronIc de-
pressIon rather than ImmedIate
reactIons to reaIIty. There seems
to be some thought among psy-
choIogIsts that worryIng about
depressIon makes It worse. A
new IIeId Is MIndIuIness-based
CognItIve Therapy, whIch com-
bInes medItatIon and program-
mIng your mInd to deaI wIth
thIngs. . ont reIy on eIther
governments or corporate pen-
sIons to Iund your retIrement,
the Iormer Is Inadequate and the
Iatter dIsappears too IrequentIy
these days. "Queer as a three
doIIar bIII." t was saId oI jack
Iarness that wIth IanetIcs, he
was as cIear as a three doIIar
bIII. - The extremIsts In the
womens movement made por-
nography a dIrty word.
EDGAR'S ]OURNAL
Ogdens
ve been In, thInk, In each oI
the states In the !S except Ia-
waII, AIaska, orth akota,

Vermont, Ihode sIand, AIa-
bama, MIssIssIppI and orth and
South CaroIIna. ve not been In
aImost as many provInces, need
to traveI more In Canada. = The
ream IIIIow was good. 1
dIdnt care Ior the Steven KIng
noveIs ve read, and that IeeIIng
Is not apt to change sInce hes
on my gnore IIst. + You expect
consIstency Irom enjamIn
IrankIIn? + wIsh you couId
speII "Its".
A FlSH lN THYMECantor
t Is to be notIced that Teddy
IooseveIt wrote hIs Ietter aIIow-
Ing crItIcIsm oI the IresIdent aI-
ter, not durIng hIs IresIdency.
don't thInk he cared Ior WIIson's
Ideas. + The !S certaInIy
bombed orth Korea, and there
was a questIon, havIng drIven
K and the ChInese back to the
prevIous border, whether to con-
tInue. They dId contInue, so they
Invaded K. CaII It response II
you must. SabeIIa wrItes,
"IuIes oI grammar are onIy tra-
dItIonaI usage whIch have be-
come codIIIed." gnorIng the
questIons oI spIIt InIInItIves or
end-oI-sentence preposItIons, the
goaI Is to communIcate. Those
ways oI wrItIng whIch are rec-
ognIzed by most IIterate peopIe

communIcate better than other
ways. As more peopIe have be-
come IIterate, the ruIes have be-
come IIrmer and more vIoIated.
"You shouId onIy measure an
aeropIane's speed In knots II It Is
beIng towed by a rope." You
shouId measure an aIrpIane's
speed In the navIgatIonaI unIts
Its oIIIcers use, whIch wouId be
nautIcaI mIIes per hour. I you
are goIng to measure angIes In
degrees and mInutes, It's much
easIer to measure dIstances In
nautIcaI mIIes (a mInute oI arc
measured on the surIace oI the
arth). suspect the creators oI
the metrIc system wanted to put
100 degrees In a rIght angIe, and
thus the cIrcumIerence oI the
arth Is 40,000 km.
"A two-party system needs both
partIes to somewhat overIap In
the mIddIe wIth the majorIty po-
sItIons oI |each| party sIIghtIy to
the IeIt oI the center - the e-
mocrats - and sIIghtIy to the
rIght oI that - the IepubIIcans."
n rItaIn and In Canada, a con-
servatIve party has been govern-
Ing Ior the Iast severaI years.
ach can poInt to the Conserva-
tIve party oII to the rIght, and
say that that other party are the
conservatIves. n eIIect, the peo-
pIe's party has been taken over

by busIness. n the !S, It's much
the same except that the emoc-
rats have not been abIe to hoId
on to power and there Is no IeIt
party oI any consequence. 7
IroportIonaI representatIon has
been proposed by the smaIIer
partIes In Canada, and the Iarger
partIes have not ruIed It out
compIeteIy. t wouId make mI-
norIty governments the ruIe
rather than the exceptIon - there
have been Iew governments
whIch took a majorIty oI the
votes. That wouId probabIy be a
good thIng. The ruIIng conserva-
tIve party, the IIberaIs, IeeI they
have the rIght to Iorm the gov-
ernment, unhIndered. The
IImIts oI spIrIt dupIIcatIon were
Indeed among the reasons the
membershIp was restrIcted to 50
peopIe. t was Iater, when dupII-
catIng Improved, that the IImIt
was raIsed to 65. ShouId we
change the IdIom to "'m aII
eyes" In our vIsuaI medIum?
"Temporary book stores" put me
In mInd oI the toy stores that
appear In ovember and dIsap-
pear In january. SInce most toy
stores are Iucky to make ex-
penses most oI the year and
make theIr proIIt In ecember, It
seems IIke cheatIng. What Is the
book season? ` jeIIerson and

IaIayette must have corre-
sponded wIth a Irequency IIke
that oI Iapa maIIIngs, II they
were Iucky. suspect the rItIsh
mpIre In the 19th century was
IargeIy a stabIe ruIe prImarIIy by
mIIItary Iorce. 1 "Most non-
AmerIcan Iapans are probabIy
onIy perIpheraIIy Interested In
AmerIcan domestIc poIItIcs."
When Kennedy was assassI-
nated, the whoIe worId crIed. t
became apparent that the
AmerIcan IresIdent was the
Ieader oI the Western worId, II
not the whoIe worId. ThIs Is
more the case now than It was
then. The rest oI the worId has
to pay attentIon to AmerIcan
poIItIcs to some extent. AmerI-
cans, aIded by theIr poor news
IacIIItIes, pay IIttIe attentIon to
the rest oI the worId.
LOFGEORNOSTLerner
njoyed the account oI your trIp
to ova ScotIa by Ierry. There Is
now a Ierry (the reeze) runnIng
between Iochester and Toronto.
A newspaper account made It
not partIcuIarIy attractIve--
CA$240 Ior round-trIp car and
two passengers, no tIme saved.
vIsIted a dIIIerent ova Sco-
tIa about 1987, mostIy the Cabot
TraII around Cape reton.

j.. Iost says, "II anyone can get
aImost any book, what good are
communIty standards Ior IocaI
IIbrarIes? rIves the censors
nuts." t may be that communIty
standards are deIIned by what
peopIe ask Ior, or It may sImpIy
be the case that the censors are
aIraId that peopIe wIII Iearn how
babIes are made by browsIng the
books on the sheII. "ecause
neIther theIr successes nor theIr
IaIIures are as cIearIy deIIned as
those oI InternIsts or surgeons, It
Is easIer Ior ... psychIatrIsts to
exaggerate both theIr compe-
tence and theIr benevoIence."
Most psychIatrIsts these days no
Ionger do much IIstenIng, but
gIve peopIe pIIIs to reguIate theIr
emotIons. They have more or
Iess the same methods as Inter-
nIsts Ior much oI theIr practIce.
There Is over-prescrIptIon and
mIsdIagnosIs In each. Are any
onIIne journaIs recognIzed to IoI-
Iow your IocatIon and perma-
nence crIterIa Ior scIentIIIc re-
cord? recaII debatIng Ied-
eraI aId to educatIon In hIgh
schooI, 45 years ago. As now,
the Issues were controI and the
need Ior money. don't thInk It
unreasonabIe to set standards
Ior educatIon -perhaps In cIass
sIze II not content.

OPUNTlASpiers
ConsumptIon communItIes --
sureIy they antedate the mIddIe
1800s In the areas oI InteIIectuaI
endeavours (e.g., physIcs) or
cIass-specIIIc Interests (e.g., rec-
reatIonaI saIIIng). , "There Is
no reIIgIous bIgotry In Canada
but be careIuI what Ianguage
you speak In a pubIIc pIace."
Imm. SpeakIng Irench In
orthern OntarIo or ngIIsh In
ruraI uebec wouId target you,
but hearIng dozens oI Ianguages
In Toronto Is totaIIy accepted.
oes CaIgary not accept the
"saIad bowI" vIew oI cuIturaI dII-
IusIon? + See my comments to
Cantor about poIItIcaI partIes In
Canada. ~ 'm guessIng that
CrIchtons predIctIon oI the end
oI the 1993 mass medIa was
based on the rIse oI the nternet.
doubt that peopIe In 1465 yet
had any Idea that prIntIng ex-
Isted, Iet aIone what eIIects It
wouId have on socIety. WhIIe
most educated peopIe have now
heard oI the nternet, don't
thInk we can Iorecast what It wIII
do to cuIture.

VOlCE OF THE HABU
Wells
!suaIIy, the soIIdus (/) shouId aI-
Iow a IIne break between two
words so separated, but thIs
word processor doesn't. One so-
IutIon (II It matters) Is to put 1-
poInt spaces on one or both
sIdes oI the sIash. ( used the
trIck wIth em-dashes In a coupIe
oI pIaces here.
ARlMONllTTlHalme
WeIcome. suspect that a a gen-
eraI IInder couId be deveIoped, II
everythIng had a transmItter In
It. That seems to be the way re-
taII checkouts are goIng. Ior
Iapa-IIndsay. Canada Is haII-
converted to metrIc. !S manu-
Iacturers package thIngs In
pounds or ounces and mark the
contaIner Ior Canada In rIdIcu-
IousIy odd grams or mIIIIIItres.
That must be the worst oI sys-
tems. On the success sIde, hIgh-
way dIstances are IIrmIy kIIome-
tres and gasoIIne Is soId by the
IItre. o one brags oI theIr gaso-
IIne consumptIon, however.

THE ANNEXSearles
njoyed your verse. n thInk many
oI us suIIered Irom bad teachIng
oI poetry by teachers who them-
seIves dIdn't apprecIate It. 've
trIed to expand my apprecIatIon as
an aduIt, but onIy wIth IImIted suc-
cess.
DREAMTlME BY AlR
Lindsay
njoyed your trIp report. marked
down, "wIsh pIctures >", but then
notIced you gave a web address,
whIch can't access now. ( typed
thIs IIrst on a paImtop computer.)
GEGENSCHElN
Lindsay
Those who use ceII phones seem
to thInk everyone has them, so
they wonder why your teIephone
dIdn't receIve the text message
they sent. ` o the more popuIar
museums, zoos, aquarIums, etc.,
subsIdIze Iess popuIar attractIons
In AustraIIa? don't thInk popuIar
taste shouId be the maIn crIterIon
In what thIngs shouId be abIe to
be seen, or what shouId be re-
membered.