Fighting for Flight

J.B. Salsbury




Fighting for Flight
J.B. Salsbury
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2013 J.B. Salsbury
Table of Contents
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirt een
Fourt een
Fift een
Sixt een
Sevent een
Eight een
Ninet een
Twent y
Twent y-one
Twent y-t wo
Twent y-t hree
Twent y-four
Twent y-five
Twent y-six
Twent y-seven
Twent y-eight
Twent y-nine
Thirt y
Thirt y-one
Thirt y-t wo
Thirt y-t hree
Epilogue
A Not e t o My Readers
Acknowledgment s
About t he Aut hor
Prologue
I hav e a br ief moment t o cat ch my br eat h befor e it s t ime
t o push again. My head lolls t o t he side, ey es fixing on t he
shape of a man. It s har d t o t ell t hr ough t he blur of t ear s and
sweat clouding my v ision. The br ight light illuminat ing my
body is no help. Ev er y t hing out side of it s glow is dar kness.
But , ev en in t he dar k, I know who it is.
How long has he been her e? In my labor -induced
dement ia I didnt see him come in. My skin cr awls, each t iny
hair st anding on end. I squir m under t he weight of his
for eboding pr esence.
The v ise gr ip on my midsect ion begins it s v iolent
compr ession. I lock ey es wit h t he doct or bet ween my legs.
One mor e push, Milena. Take a deep br eat h. He wipes
his br ow wit h t he dir t y sleev e of his shir t . The smell of cigar
smoke and liquor waft s fr om his body in nauseat ing wav es.
My st omach r oils as my body t ight ens wit h a cont r act ion.
Good. Now, push! I bar ely hear t he doct or count t o t en
ov er my gr oaning.
My t or so folds in half as t he for ce of t he cont r act ion r acks
my body . I bit e my lip and t ast e blood, r efusing t o giv e v oice
t o my agony . Sweat beads on my skin. I gr ip t he sheet s
against t he unbear able pain. I want t o giv e up, just lie back
and sleep, but my womb is int ent on pur ging t his baby . A
gut t ur al sound r umbles in my t hr oat . Sear ing pain. Int ense
pr essur e. Im being r ipped int o t wo.
Baby s out . The doct or announces t o t he r oom.
It s over. I fall back ont o t he bed.
The r oom is quiet except for my heav ing br eat h and t he
clicking of t he doct or s t ools. I st udy t he ceiling, not r eady t o
face what I know is coming.
Exhaust ion set s in and my ey elids slide shut , only t o fly
back open wit h t he shr ill cr y of new life. It s st ut t er ed v ibr at o
pulls at somet hing deep in my chest . My hear t r aces.
The infant s scr eam calls t o me on a pr imal lev el, begging
for comfor t only it s mot her can pr ov ide. My ar ms ache t o
cr adle t he baby t o my br east . It s okay, mommy s here. The
wor ds coo in my head, but fr eeze at my lips. I cant get
at t ached, not when his plan is t o t ake it away t o use it for his
own pur poses, like a br ed wor k mule.
What kind of wor k will await t his baby when it becomes
an adult all depends on one t hing. The nagging quest ion picks
at my mind.
Sit t ing up, I r ub my ey es t o clear my v ision. He st ands at
t he foot of t he bed, no longer shr ouded in t he dar k. Holding
t he baby in one ar m, he hands t he doct or a lar ge wad of cash
t hen flicks his finger s for t he man t o leav e. The doct or
scur r ies out t he door like a mouse t hat just st ole fr om t he
dinner t able, and slams it behind him.
A dev ious glar e cat ches my ey e. Well done, dar ling.
Shes per fect . His v oice is a t he smoot h pur r t hat haunt s my
dr eams.
She.
Oh, God. No!
Dominick, please, I beg y ou. I t r y t o put aut hor it y
behind my v oice, but only manage a whisper . Just giv e her
up for adopt ion. Shes an innocent
Quiet ! His booming command echoes in t he t iny r oom,
making me flinch t hen cower . Shes mine. Ill do wit h her
what ev er I please. The fier ce wor ds cut t hr ough t he
newbor ns cr ies and st r aight t o my hear t .
He r uns his palm ov er t he baby s head wit h t he gent le
gr ace of a jelly fish. Ser ene and let hal. She has y our dar k
hair , dar ling. Ill name her Rav en. He st eps t o my bedside.
Would y ou like t o hold her ?
My whimper ed r eply has him smiling. He knows what
Iv e just done. Like lay ing out my car ds in a high st akes game
of poker , Iv e just shown him my weakness.
No, I cant hold her . If I do, Ill nev er let her go.
I see. He keeps her in his ar ms and st r olls t o t he single
window. You may r aise her . His gaze slides back t o mine.
But make no mist ake, Milena, if y ou do any t hing t o int er fer e
wit h my plan, I will kill her . Then, y ou and I will st ar t fr om
scr at ch, and Ill not make it pleasant for y ou. Do y ou
under st and? As if he can see int o my soul and feel my fear ,
he smir ks.
Rev ulsion cour ses t hr ough my v eins like v enom, making
it impossible t o speak. I close my ey es and nod, t r y ing t o for ce
dr y t he t ear s t hat st r eam down my face.
If I could only t ake it back. The day ev er y t hing had spun
out of cont r ol. The moment Dominick Mor r et t i r uined my life.
Leaning against his car wit h his blond hair and t hose
beaut iful blue-gr een ey es, he looked like an angel. He spoke
t ender ly wit h sincer e r ev er ence and offer ed me a life I could
only dr eam about . My hear t want ed so badly t o believ e he
was my sav ior : a heav enly messenger sent t o wr ap me in his
embr ace and whisk me off t o my happily ev er aft er . But he
was no sav ior . He was my under t aker .
Realizat ion hit s: a heav y flood, dr owning me in r egr et .
Painful guilt eat s away at my hear t , slowly consuming
what s left of my humanit y . Dominick is not hing if not a man
of his wor d. Hes going t o get his way , and t her e is not a t hing
I can do about it .
Hat r ed boils in my st omach. I want t o lash out , at t ack t he
man who has t aken my fut ur e fr om me. But I know bet t er
t han t o face off wit h him. Iv e seen what he does t o gir ls who
dont obey . They spend t he r est of t heir day s shaking, walking
t he t hin line of t heir addict ion, solely dependent on him, so
desper at e for t heir next fix t hat t hey beg for t he gift of a quick
deat h. Right wher e he want s t hem.
Milena. His fir m t one get s my at t ent ion.
Back at my bedside, he holds t he bundle of blanket s and
baby for me t o t ake. Rav en. My daught er . No. Not mine.
Don t show him my weakness. Suffer ing in silence is
t or t ur e. But he cant t ouch what I dont giv e him.
I wr ap my ar ms t ight ly ar ound my body , locking t hem in
place. Wit h t he last pieces of my r esolv e, I shov e t he mot her
in me t o t he back cor ner of my soul and lock her t her e.
Take her , dar ling. His wor ds car r y a heav y war ning.
I shake my head.
He st ands st r aight and st udies me wit h nar r owed ey es.
Ver y well. He t ur ns and heads t o t he door . Ill giv e y ou a
few hour s t o come t o t er ms wit h t his. In t he meant ime, he
looks at t he r umpled bed and t he floor , bot h r iddled wit h t he
gor e of childbir t h, clean t his mess up.
Then hes gone, t aking Rav en wit h him.
I scan my sur r oundings, t aking in t he car nage: The
pr oduct of t he last t went y -four hour s of labor ; t he bloodied
r esult of an unsanit ar y home bir t h. Somet hing deep down
r egist er s t hat mine ar e not t he only hor r or s t hat haunt t his
r oom. I can almost hear t he scr eams of t he women who hav e
been her e befor e me.
My hand absent ly r ubs my now soft belly . Once full of life
and pr omise, and now, complet ely v oid. And t hr ough all t his,
I feel not hing.
One
20 years later
Jonah
Well, shit . I didnt t hink t he headache t o fuck all
headaches could possibly get wor se. Bet ween t he st r obe light s
and t he cr appy music, my br ain feels like it s t went y -four
hour s off a t hr ee-day bender . The st ench of st ale beer , sweat ,
and per fume swir l in t he air , t opping off my list of cr anial
ir r it ant s.
And add t o t hat t he gang of silv er back gor illas at t he t able
behind me. They gr unt and holler at t he st age, likely beat ing
t heir chest s for at t ent ion. Amateurs. I t ur n and giv e t he fr at -
boy pussies a look t hat has t hem all sit t ing wit h t heir mout hs
sealed shut .
My head is going t o explode, and it s put t ing me in a
fucked-up mood. The only r eason I agr eed t o come t o t he st r ip
club was t he hope t hat pounding a few beer s might t ake t he
edge off t he pile-dr iv er in my head. So far , not so good.
Wit h one long pull fr om t he bot t le, I check out t he half-
naked gir l on st age in fr ont of me. Shes a t y pical Vegas
st r ipper : bleach blond hair , dar k t anned skin, and huge fake
t it s. Ther es an ident ical one for ev er y slot machine on t he
st r ip.
That chicks been ey eball-fucking y ou all night . Blake
y ells t o be hear d ov er t he music. You gonna hit t hat ?
I glar e at my t r aining par t ner . Aft er all, it s his dumb ass
t hat t alked me int o coming her e t onight .
May as well. Get t ing r id of t his headache is my fir st
pr ior it y . Since t he booze isnt helping, may be some female
int er v ent ion will. But only if shes off soon. Iv e got t o get out
of her e. This place is killing my head. I at t empt t o r ub t he
pain away wit h my finger t ips.
Blake r aises an ey ebr ow along wit h one side of his mout h.
I bet t er get going t oo. I need my beaut y sleep if Im going t o
keep kicking y our ass.
I giv e him t he backside of my middle finger .
His knee connect ing t o my t emple in t r aining t oday is
what got me in t his br ain-t humping pr edicament . I make a
ment al not e t o pay him back wit h a solid ball shot next t ime
wer e in t he oct agon.
Right . You kicked my ass. I t ilt my head, indicat ing his
fr esh black ey e and bloodied lip.
May be I should feel wor se about flipping t he swit ch on
him as I did. But he of all people should know bet t er . Hes seen
what happens when I let t he monst er out . If I get hit har d
enough, my br ain goes int o pr ot ect ion mode. I go fer al. I cant
help it .
Iv e lear ned t o cont r ol it dur ing t r aining, for t he most
par t . But Blakes knee hit har d out of nowher e and set me off.
Luckily , I was able t o r ein it in befor e I r eally hur t t he
bast ar d.
Hey , sexy , a seduct iv e v oice pur r s in my ear .
Feminine hands r un fr om my biceps, down my chest , and
st ill on my abdomen. I t ur n t o see t he blond st r ipper fr om t he
st age r est ing her chin on my shoulder , bit ing on her cher r y -
r ed bot t om lip. She slides her hands back up, skir t ing ar ound
t o my fr ont . Her long, naked legs st r addle my t highs and she
leans in close, placing her asset s at ey e lev el.
I t hink I know y ou. Her hips undulat e in fr ont of me t o
t he beat of t he music.
I y awn. Is t hat r ight ? And wher e is it y ou t hink y ou
know me fr om?
I st udy her face, t r y ing t o pull up somet hing familiar
fr om my memor y and coming up empt y . Ther es no way Iv e
had sex wit h her befor e. I would hav e r emember ed. And if I
had, t hat would hav e a dir ect effect on how t his night will
end. I do not hit t he same honey pot t wice.
She allows her weight t o dr op so t hat shes sit t ing
st r addled on my lap. I feel t he familiar st ir of ar ousal as my
body r esponds t o t he heat and fr ict ion, but not hing else. I
know her t y pe. They r e all t he same: fakefr om t heir
pr act iced, dit zy v oices t o t heir ass implant s. These women ar e
good for one t hing, and she seems mor e t han r eady t o go.
Perfect.
Iv e seen y ou on all t he billboar ds.
My ey es r oll t o t he ceiling t hen squeeze shut at t he
t hr obbing in my st ill-aching head. I dont hav e t ime for small
t alk. You want t o get out of her e?
Her face light s up and her ey es spar kle. Sur e.
What a sur pr ise.
Can we go t o y our place? Shes pr act ically bouncing
wit h excit ement .
I can almost see t he dollar signs flash in her ey es, shes so
t r anspar ent . This chick is all about st at us, t he money , and
t he r ight t o br ag t hat she bagged a fight er . Shes looking t o
snag someone wit h cash t hat she can lead ar ound by his dick.
Her por n-st ar looks and willing sexual pr owess t ur ned on so
br ight , shes hoping t o blind me so Ill think Im in lov e. So
fucking pr edict able.
No. Your s.
Id nev er t ake a woman t o my place. Seems t o me if a guy
br ings a woman home she suddenly feels like she can set up
house. Befor e he knows it , shes making br eakfast and st uffing
his bat hr oom dr awer s wit h t ampons. Poor shmuck looking for
a one-night st and finds himself wit h a liv e-in wife. When she
finally does leav e, t he guy s fucked because she knows wher e
he liv es. He nev er calls, but she doesnt car e. Shell just show
up at his house or , ev en wor se, dr iv e by or par k acr oss t he
st r eet and st alk him.
No t hanks.
Fine. Her r eply sounds deflat ed. The excit ement
t ar nished, but I can t ell, t his chick doesnt giv e up. Ill meet
y ou out fr ont . Giv e me fiv e minut es? She per ks up, her t hin
ey ebr ows high on her for ehead, ant icipat ing my answer .
I nod.
Wit h a long, fir m gr ind of her pelv is on my cr ot ch, she
disappear s int o t he cr owd. Blake has his t ongue down t he
t hr oat of a bust y r edhead.
Hey , br o. Im gonna bounce. I say it loud enough for
him t o hear .
He doesnt br eak his lip-lock, but wav es me off wit h one
hand while skillfully sliding a fift y -dollar bill int o t he gir ls g
st r ing. And t hey say t hey ar ent pr ost it ut es.
I down t he dr egs of my beer , t hr ow some cash on t he
t able, and head for t he door . The club is busy for a Tuesday
night , and t he bar is t hr ee-deep, st anding r oom only . People
mov e out of my way a lit t le quicker t han usual, pr obably due
t o t he dont -fuck-wit h-me look t his headache is giv ing my
face.
Shov ing t hr ough t he clubs fr ont door , Im hit wit h deser t
air and cigar et t e smoke. The flashing neon sign makes
ev er y ones skin look pink. I scan t he par king lot and consider
bolt ing. May be a hot shower and good night s sleep ar e all I
need.
Just t hen, a small hand gr abs my elbow. Too lat e. The
st r ipper looks up at me fr om under her ey elashes. She licks
her lips and pr esses her t it s against my ar m. She slides her
hand int o my palm and laces her finger s wit h mine. I hope
y our e r eady for some fun. One night wit h me and y oull be
begging
I pull my hand fr om her s. Wher es y our car ? Ill follow
y ou.
Her ey es flash wit h somet hing t hat looks like
disappoint ment .
Chicks and t heir inflat ed ideas about r omance. This isnt a
dat e. This isnt an all-night sexual r endezv ous. This is simple:
It ch. Scr at ch.
She nods her head in t he dir ect ion of her car . Feeling a
lit t le bad for my br ush off, I walk her t o it . I m not a complete
asshole.
She set t les in and t ur ns t he ignit ion. I t ake off t o my
t r uck, t elling my self t hat going home wit h Ah hell, I dont
ev en know her name.
Oh well. Wont be t he fir st t ime I bang a nameless face.
It s a shor t dr iv e t o her apar t ment . I back my t r uck int o a
spot in t he v isit or s sect ion t o ensur e a quick depar t ur e. She
wait s for me at t he bot t om of t he st air s.
Im r ight up her e. She r uns her hand down my chest
hooking my jeans wit h her finger t ips.
Dont . I r emov e her hand.
Her ey es nar r ow befor e t hey soft en int o somet hing mor e
sexual. It s as if she want s t o be pissed at me, but doesnt want
t o lose t he pr ize.
If cont r ol is y our t hing, sexy , just say t he wor d. She
spins ar ound and I follow her up t o her place.
Once inside, she t hr ows her bag on t he couch and walks
back t o what I assume is her bedr oom. I head t owar ds t he
glowing clock in her kit chen. It s almost midnight . Pulling a
condom fr om my wallet , I v ow t o be home and in bed by one.
I walk down t he shor t hallway t o t he r oom wit h t he light
on. Shes ly ing on t he bed, naked. The v isual alone has my
body char ged and r eady .
You want t o hit t he light ? I wor k t he but t on fly of my
jeans.
Her face t wist s in anger . What is it wit h y ou? She pr ops
her self up on her elbows. No t ouching. No for eplay . No light s!
What do y ou t hink t his is? Some quickie wit h t he st r ipper ?
My hands fr eeze at my fly . Is she kidding? Of cour se t hat s
what t his is. I shr ug. No use in leading t he gir l on. Yeah.
Her ey es sweep my body fr om head t o t oe t hen back
again. What ev er . She r olls t o t he side and clicks t he light ,
plunging us in dar kness.
Much bet t er .
I focus on t he t ask befor e me: Meet ing a need, no
connect ion, no feeling any wher e abov e my waist . A goal set
befor e me, a finish line t hat Im r acing t o br each so I can go
home and get some sleep.
She mov es for a kiss, and I t ur n away . She t r ies t o engage
me in dir t y t alk. It s easy t o ignor e. Finally , she giv es up,
allowing our bodies t o t ake what t hey want .
St ill complet ely clot hed, except for t he fly of my jeans, I
st and fr om her bed t o leav e. This gir l pr obably has somet hing
mor e t o offer a guy . But t hat guy aint me.
Just t he t hought of hav ing some needy chick hanging on
my ar m, making me buy her cr ap, t aking up my t ime wit h
her pet t y issues about gir l shit makes me shiv er . I need t o get
t he hell out of her e.
Will y ou call me, y ou know, if y ou ev er want t o hang out
again? Her small v oice r eaches my now-sat ed br ain.
Fuck. This is uncomfor t able.
I gr ab my phone and pr ess a few but t ons. What s y our
number ? And your name. She r at t les off sev en digit s, and I
pr et end t o pr ogr am t hem int o my phone.
Right , I got it . Go t o sleep.
I hav e a Jiminy Cr icket moment wit h my conscience.
Thanks for t hat .
She mumbles somet hing I cant quit e make out and I slip
fr om her r oom.
~*~
Raven
Holy cr ud. Shoot ing st r aight up in bed, I cov er my ear s.
St upid t hing. I pound quiet my obnoxious alar m.
Usually waking on my own, I for get how t hat t hing buzzes
like a swar m of bees wit h megaphones glued t o t heir but t s.
Next pay check Im clock r adio shopping.
The heels of my hands dig int o my ey e socket s t o r ub
away my sleepy haze. Why did I stay up so late? I swing my
legs ov er t he side of t he bed and push up wit h a big, feline
st r et ch.
Coffee. That s what I need. I st ep in t he dir ect ion of my
kit chenet t e and kick t he lar ge wooden box on t he floor .
Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie. Cr adling my injur ed foot , I giv e
t he dar n box my most ev il glar e, t he ev idence of what kept
me up so lat e, punishing me st ill.
The box is full of ev er y Car and Driver magazine I own. I
got sucked int o some old issues last night and couldnt put
t hem down unt il I kept falling asleep and face plant ing int o
t he pages.
I shov e t he box under my bed and st ir t oget her my
mor ning pick me up. A few t easpoons of fr eeze dr ied gr anules,
cr eam, and sugar . Voila. A per fect ly cr appy cup of coffee.
I plop on t he edge of my bed and gaze ar ound my small
but cozy home: four walls, one window, and one door . The
door s t o my bat hr oom and closet ar e not hing mor e t han
shower cur t ains on r ods. Not my fir st choice, but t he r ent is
cheap, and it s close t o wor klike r ight abov e it .
Work. I check t he t ime.
Twent y minut es? Plent y of t ime.
Aft er sipping my coffee, I st r ip out of my PJs and jump in
t he shower . The heat fr om t he shower combined wit h t he
caffeine help t o chase away t he last of my dr owsiness.
Wr apped in a t owel, I open t he t op dr awer of my dr esser
and gaze at my br a and pant y collect ion. Good mor ning, my
pr et t ies.
It s my lit t le addict ion. Ov er fift y per cent of my pay check
goes t owar d my balance at Vict or ias Secr et . Viv id memor ies
of my mom folding her laundr y flicker befor e my ey es. Yes,
her linger ie was appealing, but t he r eason why sheno. I
shake t he memor ies loose. Not going t her e.
My ey es scan each per fect ly mat ching set . What color do I
feel like t oday ?
How about y ou? I gr ab t he pur ple sat in and lace duo
and slide t hem on. Somet hing about wear ing beaut ifully sexy
st uff under my unifor m alway s br ings a smile t o my face.
Wit h a quick dr y of my hair , I pile it on t op of my head.
Thr owing on a t ank t op, I slide my blue unifor m cov er alls up
ov er my hips, t y ing t he long sleev es ar ound my waist . A
swipe of mascar a and a couple passes of cher r y Chapst ick and
my look is complet e.
Key s in hand, along wit h a small can of cat food, Im out
t he door . Hopping down t he st air s t o t he alley , I scr unch up
my nose at t he smell of r ot and debr is fr om t he dumpst er s.
Good mor ning, Dog. In a cr ouch, I pet t he black alley cat
t hat showed up at my door mont hs ago.
You hungr y ? I pop t he lid and place t he can of food on
t he bot t om st air , smiling at his answer ing meow. Dog scar fs it
down, as he does ev er y mor ning, and I r ub behind his ear s.
I st ill cant believ e y ou like it out her e. I wont t r y t o
t ake him inside. Last t ime he clawed my ar ms unt il t hey
wer e bloody . What ev er t er r ible t hing happened t o him
r uined him for ot her s. I can r elat e.
Iv e got t o go t o wor k. Ill see y ou t onight .
Leav ing Dog t o his br eakfast , I r ound t he cor ner of t he
building t o face t he gar age fr ont by t he bay door s. Thr ough
t he window, I see Guy sit t ing at his desk wit h a gr im look on
his face. Not unusual for him.
I t hr ow open t he door , hear ing t he bell jingle abov e head
and get t ing Guy s at t ent ion.
Mor nin, Ray .
Good mor ning, Guy . How was y our night ?
Shit ! Got sucked int o some st upid show about a bachelor
and some bimbos who wer e all t r y ing t o get his r ose. Those
gir ls wer e pat het ic. And dr unk!
I giggle at Guy s r et elling t he episode of The Bachelor , one
of t he few shows I get on my t iny t elev ision.
Wat ched t hat st upid show for an hour , and t hat sor r y
sack st ill couldnt make up his mind.
That s what happens when y ou giv e a guy a choice out of
t went y -fiv e beaut iful women. Why choose one when he could
hav e t hem all? I shr ug and gr ab t he schedule for t oday fr om
his desk.
Them all? Hell, I couldnt st and t o list en t o just one of
t hem t alk for mor e t han fiv e minut es. They r e ir r it at in.
I didnt hav e t he hear t t o r emind him t hat he did, in fact ,
wat ch t he ent ir e hour -long show. How ir r it at ing could t hey
hav e been?
He point s t o t he schedule in my hand. You got a couple
oil changes wait ing for y ou in t he bay . You do what y ou can. I
got Leo comin in t o close.
No Mickey t oday ?
Nah, hes got some shit going on at home he needs t o deal
wit h.
I t hr ow my backpack int o a locker .
That s t oo bad. I hope ev er y t hings okay .
Oh, hell be fine. Lit t le shit alway s wor ks t hr ough st uff.
Ev en when we wer e kids, our mom alway s said Mickey could
shine his way out of a shit st or m. Any way , bet t er for y ou t o
wor k solo since y oull be t aking ov er t he place someday . He
giv es me a wink and goes back t o t he paper s on his desk.
But t er flies dance in my st omach when I t hink about
owning t his gar age. Guy has no childr en, and hes t he closest
t hing I hav e t o a fat her . He and his br ot her Mickey t ook ov er
Guy s Gar age fr om Guy senior when he got sick. Mickey s kids
hav e fancy cit y jobs and want not hing t o do wit h t his place,
so t hey v e asked me t o t ake it when t hey r et ir e.
Ill be in t he bay if y ou need me, I call ov er my shoulder
while heading out .
I t ake a deep br eat h, allowing t he smell of gasoline and oil
t o soot he me. The gar age has alway s been my sanct uar y . I
plug in t he boom box and hear St ev ie Wonder s Super st it ion
fill t he silence.
Lost in my wor k, bur ied under t he hood of a 99 For d
Explor er , t he r umble of a power ful engine dr aws my
at t ent ion. A deep bass beat accompanies t he engines gr owl as
it pulls up t o t he bay . I at t empt t o figur e out what kind of car
it is just by list ening, one of my fav or it e games. My guess is a
lar geno, a v er y lar gepickup t r uck. Amer ican made.
I hear r at her t han see Guy head out t o gr eet t he t r ucks
dr iv er . The engine and bass go quiet , and I faint ly make out a
deep v oice. The low v ibr at ion sends a t ingle down my body
and goose bumps r ace acr oss my skin. What in the heck was
that?
I check my for ehead. No fever. Hm.
Ray ! Ray , get out her e! Guy s beckoning call y anks me
fr om my t hought s.
I gr ab a t owel t o wipe my hands.
Ray ! Now!
Jeesh, hes impat ient .
Walking t hr ough t he bay door s int o t he Las Vegas sun,
my ey es adjust t o t he br ight light .
A monst r ous, black, For d FX4 pickup looms out fr ont . Ah-
ha! I was right. It s a t win t ur bo, kit t ed out wit h t hir t y -fiv e
inch wheels, black r ims, and a six-inch lift . The limo-t int ed
windows and black headlight s make it look aliv e. Whoev er
dr iv es t his beast has a passion I can r elat e t o. My gaze swings
t o t he t r ucks owner t o commend his choice in aut omobile.
Nice For d Im fr ozen, feet glued t o t he asphalt , v oice
st uck in my t hr oat , and gawking at t he Univ er sal Fight ing
Leagues local-celebr it y -hot -guy , Jonah Slade. At my work!
Hes well ov er six feet t all, six-fiv e if I had t o guess. A
jer sey -like, sleev eless shir t hangs ar t fully fr om his br oad
shoulder s. His well-muscled ar ms ar e cov er ed wit h br illiant ly
color ed t at t oos t hat beckon t o be t ouched. My finger s it ch t o
t r ace each swir l, t o t ouch him t o see if hes r eal.
He clear s his t hr oat , making me lift my gaze t o his face
while cont inuing my appr aisal. Hes wear ing a black baseball
hat backwar ds wit h dar k, almost black hair peeking out
ar ound his ear s. His st r ong, squar e jaw fr ames t he fullest ,
most sensual pair of lips Iv e ev er seen on a man.
Ray , t his is Jonah Slade.
Yeah, no kidding.
My head t ilt s t o t he side at Guy s v oice, but Im phy sically
incapable of t aking my ey es off t he man, no, t he god, in fr ont
of me. Iv e seen him on post er s and billboar ds all ov er t own,
but t hey dont compar e t o t he br eat h-r obbing, liv e v er sion.
He has an old Chev y he needs help fixing up. I t old him
y oud be up for t he job.
I hear t he smile in Guy s v oice, but st ill cant mov e my
ey es t o look at him. Car . He said somet hing about fixing up a
car .
Pushing t hr ough my shock, I r each for my sanit y . What
kind of My wor ds br eak on a squeak. This is embar r assing. I
clear my t hr oat . Car ? What kind? That sounds slight ly
bet t er . I canOh my gosh!
Jonah Slade is smiling.
Fr aming his per fect st r aight t eet h and his luscious full
lips ar e t wo freakin dimples. Sanit y gone, fan-gir l lust -
bucket s owning and oper at ing my mind, I bit e back an
audible swoon.
He cr osses his muscular ar ms acr oss his br oad chest , st ill
smiling. Ray ? Your e, Ray ?
He said my name. My cheeks heat .
Rav en. My name is Rav en. Guy calls me Ray . My v oice
sounds weak and ir r it at ingly pat het ic. I t r y t o sound mor e
confident . I guess it makes him feel bet t er about hav ing a
gir l wor king in his gar age if he giv es her a mans name. I
st udy my feet and kick a pebble t hat isnt t her e.
Rav en. Gr eat name. The compliment is said under his
br eat h, almost t o himself. It s nice t o meet y ou.
Hes cont inues t o smile. If he doesnt st op t hat soon, Im
nev er going t o be able t o concent r at e on not making a fool out
of my self. More than I already have.
His ar m ext ends t o shake my hand. I look at it like it s a
liv e scor pion. Guy nudges me wit h his shoulder and mot ions
for me t o shake. I wipe my palm on my cov er alls, hoping he
t hinks it s gr ease Im r emov ing, r at her t han my ner v ous
sweat .
His lar ge hand swallows mine in a fir m handshake, t he
simplest gest ur e communicat ing st r engt h and r eliabilit y . My
shoulder s r elax, and I fall int o t he safet y of t he feeling. St at ic
elect r icit y buzzes bet ween us. His t humb mov es ov er my skin
in t he t iniest car ess. Or did I imagine that?
Im capt iv at ed. Im unable t o see his ey es behind his dar k
glasses, but I feel t hem bor ing int o mine.
Wit hout war ning, his smile falls, and his ey ebr ows lower
behind his shades. Oh, no. A simple handshake has now
t ur ned int o holding hands. He t hinks Im weir d. I pull back
fr om his gr ip.
You, um, hav e some gr ease on y our He mot ions t o his
own for ehead. Her e, Ill His hand mov es t owar d my face. I
lean back, but keep my feet fir mly plant ed as he swipes his
t humb acr oss my for ehead: once, t wice, t hr ee t imes, leav ing
a t r ail of fir e in it s wake.
Oh, y eah. I shiv er ed ear lier and I wipe my head,
deciding not t o disclose t he fact t hat his v oice made me
fev er ish.
I peek at Guy fr om t he cor ner of my ey e and wat ch t he
cor ner s of his mout h t wit ch. Glad someone t hinks my
embar r assment is funny .
Your car er what
Jonah her e is r est or ing a 61 Impala. Guy shows me
mer cy and sav es me fr om making t hings mor e awkwar d.
That s gr eat . Old Chev y s ar e my specialt y . I could
dance wit h joy at my abilit y t o speak in full sent ences. You
want t o br ing it by ?
Act ually , I His v oice cr acks. Wit h a fist , he t aps his
chest and clear s his t hr oat . Sor r y , what I mean is I was
hoping y ou might be able t o wor k on it at my house.
My ey ebr ows hit my hair line, my jaw loose and sway ing
in t he br eeze.
I hav e a decent gar age t hat has all t he t ools y ou should
need. He must v e r ead confusion on my face r at her t han t he
ear t h-shat t er ing shock Im feeling.
Guy nods wit h a Cheshir e-cat smile.
The t hing is it isnt in r unning condit ion y et , and Guy
said y ou get pr et t y busy ar ound her e. I dont liv e far . Come
by and check it out t omor r ow. I could r eally use y our t r ained
ey e t o t ell me what par t s I need.
My mout h hangs open.
Guy coughs away a laugh. Sur e, she can do t hat . He
looks back and for t h bet ween Jonah and me, his lips r olled
bet ween his t eet h. What is so freakin funny?
Okay . What t ime?
He giv es me t he addr ess t o his house, and we agr ee t o
st ar t at nine-t hir t y t omor r ow mor ning.
Im going t o be fixing up a car wit h Jonah The Assassin
Slade.
What hav e I got t en my self int o?
Two
Raven
Jonah fr eakin Slade? Ar e y ou shit t in me, Rav e?
I sip my ov er pr iced cup of coffee t o hide my smile. I
decided r at her t han call Ev e aft er wor k y est er day Id wait for
our coffee dat e t his mor ning t o t ell her in per son. Im glad I
did. The look on her face r eminds me of a balloon t hat s
inflat ed past capacit y . Shes about t o bur st .
You and The Assassin? Wor king t oget her at his house?
Like, alone? Ev e r at t les off her list of quest ions, her last wor d
ending on a squeal. I keep quiet . If I know Ev e, shes only
get t ing st ar t ed.
The t abloids call him The Las Vegas Casanov a. Hes a
t ot al skir t chaser . Oh my gosh! She slams bot h her palms on
t he t able, get t ing t he at t ent ion of ev er y one in t he small coffee
shop. Hes t ot ally going t o hit on y ou. This is so excit ing. Im
ser iously going t o pee my pant s.
Please dont . I t r y t o keep my v oice lev el but lose t he
bat t le as Ev es exuber ance br ings out my own.
She casually leans back in her chair while a wicked smile
cut s int o her per fect ly made-up face. Rav e, y ou may be
handing ov er y our V-car d by t he end of t he day . She flips
her st r aight , long blond hair . I t hink UFL act ually st ands for
t he Univ er sal Fu
Ev e! My ey es dar t ar ound t he r oom. Im hoping no one
can hear my v er y loud, equally t acky fr iend.
She shr ugs her shoulder s, a smile split t ing her face.
What ? Im just say ing Her ey ebr ows bounce beneat h her
per fect bangs.
Oh, st op it . Hes like my boss or somet hing.
Or somet hing, she mumbles t hr ough a chuckle.
Ev il but t er flies chur n in my chest at t he t hought of being
t ouched by Jonah again. A simple handshake had me
dr ooling like a dog in heat . A kiss would pr obably send me
int o a seizur e.
It s no big deal. Hes just a guy who needs help wit h a
r enov at ion. Now if I could just get my self t o believ e t hat .
My mind has been in a per manent st at e of shock since
Jonah left t he gar age. I went t hr ough t he r est of my day on
aut opilot as I t r ied t o come t o t er ms wit h what Id agr eed t o
do. Im a bunny r abbit whos st umbled int o a bear cav e.
No big deal? No big deal! Im in for it now. Her v oice get s
unchar act er ist ically ser ious. Your e going t o be wor king side
by side wit h Las Vegas most eligible bad boy . Hes been linked
wit h ev er y act r ess, model, and showgir l in t own. And y ou ar e
super duper hot , gir l. The Assassin is going t o t ake not ice of
y ou.
But like y ou said, he has ev er y woman in Vegas at his
finger t ips. Jealousy flar es in my gut at t he t hought of Jonah
wit h a woman. I bet he doesnt ev en not ice women who
ar ent wear ing miniskir t s and six-inch heels. Beaut iful,
glamor ous women whom any man would be pr oud t o hav e on
his ar m. I t ake in my cur r ent war dr obe: not hing beaut iful or
glamor ous her e. Wor king on car s all day doesnt exact ly call
for any t hing ot her t han denim and cot t on.
Just make sur e he pay s y ou. Ev es demand t akes me
fr om my self-pit y ing t hought s. He can cer t ainly affor d t o.
No mor e wor king for fr ee.
I dont wor k for fr ee. My wor ds ar e laced wit h t he acid of
my env y .
Ev es ey es get soft . She leans acr oss t he t able. You know
what Im t alking about . What about t hat guy who couldnt
pay y ou t o fix his alt er nat or ? Or t he lady who couldnt pay
y ou t o r ot at e her t ir es and change her oil? Hmm?
I r oll my ey es and blow an er r ant hair fr om my face.
They didnt pay me money . They t r aded. The guy gav e me
my t at t oo as pay ment , and t hat lady was a single mom. I
play wit h t he fr ay ing t hr eads on my jeans. She gav e me
t hat chair in my apar t ment .
I swear , Rav e, y our e good t hr ough and t hr ough. Not a
bit of bad in t hat sweet ass of y our s. She t akes a sip of her
dr ink. May be y ou can pull out a lit t le naught y for The
Assassin. Wor k out some kind of t r ade for y our services. She
waggles her ey ebr ows.
I suck in a br eat h on r eflex. I know shes kidding, but t he
joke hit s t oo close t o home. I t hought mov ing out of my moms
house would dist ance me fr om her line of wor k, but ,
appar ent ly , geogr aphical dist ance doesnt equal emot ional
dist ance. She r eads my expr ession and mout hs a quick sorry. I
wav e her off and smile. It s not her fault Im damaged.
So what t ime is The Assassin expect ing y ou? Wouldnt
want t o leav e a hot piece like him wait ing. She moans and
r olls her ey es back in her head. Hes so sexy .
St op calling him The Assassin. It s Jonah or Mr . Slade t o
y ou, I t ease, kind of, and t hen slur p down t he r est of my
coffee. I bet t er get going. I t old him Id be t her e at nine-
t hir t y . My st omach flips as my own wor ds sink in.
You bet t er call me as soon as y our e done. She flashes an
ev il gr in and a wink. And I want det ails.
~*~
Jonah
You hear d me, Blake. Im not say ing it again. I pinch
t he br idge of my nose, pr ay ing for pat ience.
So, let me get t his st r aight . Your e cleaning y our kit chen
because a gir l is coming ov er . Like a r eal one, ov er t o your
house. Is t hat cor r ect ? His Per r y Mason t one has me gr inding
my t eet h.
Yeah, bit ch. Except it s not a girl. It s a mechanic who
happens t o be female. Why Im ev en wast ing my t ime t o
explain is bey ond me. I r emind my self t o nev er answer phone
calls fr om Blake again.
Pot at o fucking poe-t ah-t oe. God, y our e t est y . Ar e y ou on
t he r ag? I t ell y ou what , gr ab a Midol and a br ownie and call
me in fiv e t o sev en day s. Hes laughing at his own joke.
Mor on. I shut t he dishwasher door and hit st ar t .
Im just st at ing t he fact s. You nev er hav e chicks ov er .
It s weir d.
News flash, pickle dick. The per son who decor at ed my
house was a gir l. My cleaning lady, also a gir l. This is no
differ ent .
Then why ar e y ou cleaning y our kit chen?
Because this is different. And t he r eason why it s differ ent
kept me up all night . Ev er y t ime I closed my ey es all I could
see was her face. I would hav e br ushed it off as a simple case of
t he I-wanna-scr ew-y ous, but if t hat wer e t r ue, Id be
pict ur ing some ot her par t of her anat omy . Not her face. Or
t he aquamar ine color of her ey es, so unique, I had t o fight
fr om get t ing lost in t hem. Not t he way she chewed on her
bot t om lip when she was t hinking. And cer t ainly not t he way
her cheeks t ur ned pink when I t ouched her .
Im cleaning my kit chen because it s dir t y . I wipe down
t he count er s for t he second t ime.
Did my knee t o t he head do t his t o y ou? You got some
kind of br ain damage t hat t ur ns y ou int o a pussy ?
Your e hilar ious, y ou know t hat ? Sar casm laces my
v oice.
Im glad y ou t hink so.
I shake my head. Iv e got t o go. See y ou at t r aining.
All r ight . Let me know how y our dat e goes.
You nev er quit .
That s what she said. His laught er sounds t hr ough t he
ear piece and I end t he call.
I shov e my phone in my back pocket and head t o t he
liv ing r oom for a last once-ov er .
This is r idiculous. I hav ent got t en all st ir r ed up ov er a
gir l since Samant ha Salazar in t he four t h gr ade. I did
ev er y t hing t o get t hat gir l t o like me. Ev en changed t he way I
dr essed, only t o find out lat er t hat she was looking for
someone t o do her mat h homewor k. And I did for an ent ir e
school y ear befor e I figur ed it out .
That s t he t hing about women. They know what t hey
want , and t hey use t heir pr et t y faces and hour glass figur es t o
get men googlie-ey ed and pant ing. Then t hey shr ed t hem of
t heir pr ide, t ime, and bank account s. Iv e seen it happen a
million t imes, and Ill be damned if I allow t hat t o happen t o
me.
Rav ens pr obably no differ ent . She pr act ically r adiat es
innocence and v ulner abilit y . It s an act , Im sur e. A gir l who
looks like her cant be all t hat innocent . Just because she act s
like no gir l Iv e ev er known befor e doesnt mean t hat shes not
t he wor st of t hem.
Shit. Why did I inv it e her t o my house? That cer t ainly
wasnt t he plan when I went t o t he gar age. I t hought Id hav e
t he Impala t owed t her e and it would sit unt il Guy got ar ound
t o it .
Then I saw her : The way she walked out of t he gar age all
r olling hips and sex. Her cov er alls t ied at her waist , and t ight
t ank t op t hat hugged her delicious cur v es. I had t o cr oss my
ar ms ov er my chest t o keep fr om r eaching out t o t r ace t he dip
of her collar bone. A gr oan r umbles in my chest at t he
memor y . She makes being a car mechanic sexy . Hell, shed
make collect ing gar bage sexy .
Her silky , dar k hair was pulled up t o expose her
gr acefully long neck. Ev er y t ime she t ur ned t o look at Guy , I
could see t he hint of a black t at t oo wher e her neck flar ed int o
her shoulder . The ur ge t o r un my t ongue along t he gent le
slope of her t hr oat , t o feel her flut t er ing pulse beneat h my lips
and t ast e her oliv e skin ov er whelmed me.
Yeah, t his gir ls t r ouble.
I need t o wor k her out of my sy st em, just like all t he ot her
gir ls Iv e been wit h. Aft er sex, Im done. I t ot ally lose int er est .
I may hav e t o find a new mechanic, but at least I wont lie in
bed ev er y night hav ing fant asies about get t ing t o know her
bet t er . Wait, what? Getting to know her better? I dont t hink
Iv e ev er fant asized about a woman complet ely clot hed befor e.
Holy shit , Blake was r ight . Iv e t ur ned int o a pussy .
Im shov ed fr om my t hought s by t he sound of music
blar ing. Is t hat Johnny Cash?
I cr eep t o t he door and check t hr ough t he side panel
window. A jet -black Chev y Nov a wit h a whit e r agt op and
whit e-wall t ir es st ops in t he cir cle dr iv e r ight in fr ont of t he
door . Sweet r ide. Sweeter driver. Time for my game face.
Rav en sit s, gr ipping her st eer ing wheel. Her mout h hangs
open as she st ar es at my house. One side of my mout h lift s
int o a smile. She likes my place. A r ush of war mt h engulfs
my chest . What in the hell is the matter with me?
Minut es pass befor e she mov es out of her car . She leans
int o her st ill-open door . I r ake my ey es ov er t he cont our s of
her per fect ly r ound ass. Shes wear ing hip hugging, low slung
jeans wit h a r ip in t he knee and a br ight blue t ank t op. I
smir k when my ey es land on her shoes: black, low-t op
Chucks.
Shes sexy in a way t hat lacks self-awar eness, which only
makes her sexier . Women in t his t own ar e ov er ly awar e of
t hemselv es. I know t her e ar e except ions. But what ar e t he
chances t hat an except ion who looks like a r ule is about t o
push t hr ough my walls? Walls? I mean, house. Dammit.
She walks t owar d t he door in a fluid way , as if her joint s
hav e been oiled. It s t he same way gir ls walk when t hey know
t hey r e being admir ed. But Rav en does it wit h no one ar ound.
Is it possible t hat she has no agenda? A slight br eeze blows her
long dar k hair , and, at t he moment , I feel like t he dor ky mat h
ner d admir ing t he high school cheer leader fr om afar .
Wit h my t hought s on her along wit h my ey es, I r each for
t he door . I pull it open. She jumps back wit h a squeak, her
ar m r aised t o knock.
Wow, sor r y about t hat , I say lamely . I didnt know y ou
wer e her e. I was just going t o check t he mail. I make a show
of opening t he mailbox.
Oh, no pr oblem. She act ually looks embar r assed, which
is funny consider ing t he ass I just made of my self.
Did y ou find t he place okay ? I hold open t he door and
mot ion for her t o come in.
She lower s her head in an at t empt t o hide her face wit h
her hair . She doesnt mov e fast enough, and I see a faint blush
kiss her cheeks as she mov es past me. The same blush t hat
had me t ent ing my boxer s all night .
Yes, t hank y ou. Her ey es go wide as we walk int o t he
liv ing r oom. Oh, Jonah, y our home is beaut iful.
My pulse quickens at t he br eat hy way she said my name.
Her head t ilt s as she peeks ar ound t he cor ner int o t he
kit chen. Looks like fight ing pay s well.
Ah-ha! Ther e it is.
You know who I am. Not a quest ion.
Of cour se, I do. Her ey es r oll t o t he ceiling t hen fix on
mine. Your e The Assassin. She say s my fight ing name in
an exagger at ed announcer s v oice.
Gir ls dont usually t ease me. And t hey har dly ev er look
me in t he ey e. I t r y har d not t o smile, but her easy going
nat ur e is infect ious.
Your e a local her o.
My nose wr inkles at her ov er est imat ion of my st at us. I
dont know about her o. My lips t ur n up in a half smile.
Wouldnt I need a cape for t hat ?
A cape? Smoot h. This gir l makes me feel like a lov e-sick
schoolboy wit hout ev en t r y ing.
She quir ks her lips and nar r ows her ey es in a way most
women r eser v e for t he bedr oom. Well, t his is Las Vegas,
Jonah.
God, my name sounds good on her lips.
In t he Cit y of Sin, we can use all t he good guy s we can
get , cape or not .
She obv iously doesnt know my r eput at ion. Many names
hav e shadowed Jonah Slade, but good guy isnt one of t hem.
Usually I would t hink she was just t r y ing t o flat t er me, but
t her es a sincer it y in her ey es t hat st eals my br eat h.
I st ar e int o t heir blue-gr een dept hs. Her t hick dar k lashes
flut t er befor e her gaze dr ops t o my lips. I swallow har d,
r esist ing t he ur ge t o show her exact ly what I could do t o her
wit h my mout h. Blood r aces in my v eins, shoot ing sout h wit h
a v engeance.
Is ev er y t hing okay ?
No, ev er y t hing is absolut ely not okay .
Yeah, of cour se. I for ce my self t o t ur n away fr om her
pier cing gaze. One mor e second locked in t hose ey es would
hav e me wor shipping at her feet , begging for just t he t iniest
t ast e of her per fect mout h.
I need t o pull my shit t oget her , and fast .
As much as my body cr av es her , I cant seduce t his gir l.
Sleeping wit h her will no doubt wor k her out of my sy st em.
But shell most likely get clingy and annoy ing like all t he
ot her s. Somet hing deep down whisper s t hat wouldnt be such
a bad t hing. Hav ing a gir l like t his begging at my door might
be fun. I shake off t he v isual of Rav ens begging on her knees

The r esult ing gr oan has Rav ens nar r owed ey es on mine.
No, I can do t his. Shes her e t o help me r est or e my car . Sur ely
I can handle being ar ound her wit hout t hr owing her t o t he
floor and r av ishing ev er y inch of her beaut iful body . Or at
least , t hat s what I t ell my self.
~*~
Raven
How about a t our ?
Yes, please. Any t hing t o dist r act me fr om his ey es.
They r e hazel, but not like any hazel Iv e ev er seen. The
br own is so light I can make out shar ds of deep gr een t owar d
t he pupils. The dr amat ic cont r ast makes it har d not t o st ar e.
That d be gr eat .
It s t aking ev er y t hing Iv e got t o keep my v oice lev el and
my hands fr om shaking. Ev en my gr in feels off. My only hope
is t hat hes used t o people being ner v ous ar ound him and
doesnt not ice t hat Im about t o jump out of my skin.
While he giv es me a guided t our of his home, I t ake an
unguided t our of his body . As ext r aor dinar y as his house is,
my gaze is r epeat edly dr awn back t o him. His t ower ing fr ame
is ev en t aller t han I r emember . His t hick ar ms ar e r ound in
all t he r ight places: t -shir t sleev es pulled t aut ar ound his
biceps. As if it wer e sculpt ed fr om mar ble, his body is all
muscle cut s and har d edges. His smoot h sun-t anned skin is
wit hout blemish, except for t he glor ious bur st s of color s t hat
coat his ar ms fr om his wr ist s t o beneat h his shir t . I wonder
how far t hey go? Ov er t he bulk of his shoulder s t o his cor ded
back t o
Rav en? The sound of my name pulls my at t ent ion.
Hmm?
Hes st anding at a huge sliding glass door , smiling as if
hes in on a joke I missed. I lost y ou for a minut e. Am I t hat
bor ing? His r ugged phy sique is all man, but his boy ish
dimples and br ight smile make my head swim.
What ? Oh, no, it s just Iv e nev er been in a house t his big
befor e. I make a show of cast ing my ey es t o t he r aft er s. Wow,
this place is huge. I should hav e paid mor e at t ent ion. It s a lot
t o t ake in.
A t iny gr imace t ouches his face for a moment befor e it
disappear s. What did I say ? Im gr at eful t o see his easy gr in
r et ur n.
Oh, well t hen, let s get t o t he best par t . He holds his
hand out for me t o t ake. Shall we?
I st ar e at it befor e my own lift s fr om my side. And like t he
bug t hat flies helplessly , dr awn by t he br ight blue light t hat
is Jonah Slade, I place my hand int o his.
Not giv ing me a moment t o soak in t he cont act , he t ur ns
and walks out t he door . Im not used t o being t ouched,
especially by someone like him, and it t akes me a second t o
find my legs. I st umble once, t hankful t o cat ch my self befor e
he not ices.
We pass t hr ough his huge backy ar d. I see a pool in my
per ipher al v ision. I would look dir ect ly at it , but Im unable t o
dr ag my ey es away fr om our clasped hands. His hand is huge.
Mine seems so small in compar ison. His t ouch is st r ong and
gent le at t he same t ime. He could cr ush my bones wit h a flex
of his finger s, but t her es a secur it y in his hold t hat feels safe.
Im smiling like an idiot . Great.
We st op at a lar ge building off t o t he side of his house.
Her e we ar e. He swings open t he door and leads me in.
Ther es no light , but t he smell has my ey es r oaming t he
dar k. He dr ops my hand. I pout at t he loss of his t ouch unt il
he flicks on t he light s.
I suck air on a quick gasp. Oh my goodness, Jonah.

Three
Raven
My mout h hangs open. I br eat he in deep. The familiar
smells of gasoline, oil, and r ubber calm my ner v ous st omach.
Im in my sanct uar y .
Jonahs gar age looks like somet hing out of Car and Driver
magazine: The diamond-plat ed chr ome and black met al
cabinet r y polished t o a shine. Rows upon r ows of dr awer s in
differ ent widt hs pr obably hold ev er y t ool imaginable. The
floor s ar e cov er ed in a slick, gr ay coat ing t hat is so clean I
could eat off it . He wasnt kidding when he said Id hav e all
t he t ools I need. Ther es ev en a BendPak hy dr aulic car lift .
This is amazing, I whisper t o my self, feeling complet ely
r elaxed and at ease. Why do y ou hav e all t his st uff? My ey es
cont inue t o t ake in t he sur r oundings.
Hobby . I like fast car s, like t o fuck ar ound in her e.
Pr oblem is I dont hav e t ime t o lear n t he ins and out s.
I could t each y ou. The wor ds fly on a knee-jer k r eact ion.
I scr unch up my face and sink int o my shoulder s, fight ing my
chagr in. I glance ov er my shoulder and find him st ar ing at
me.
His answer ing gr in sends my gaze acr oss t he gar age. I
cant look at him when hes smiling at me like t hat .
It s t hen t hat I not ice t he t r uck he dr ov e t o t he shop
y est er day . I t ake a closer look. Walking ar ound it , I st udy
each component fr om t he Pr o Comp for t y -inch t ir es t o t he RBP
cust om gr ille. I swear t he t hing looks like it ll gr owl.
St epping deeper int o what s at least a t en car gar age, I see
a gunmet al gr ay beast t hat makes my hear t r at e kick double
t ime.
That s a 68 Camar o. I t ell t he car . Jonah st eps t o my
side fr om behind me.
Shov ing his hands in his pocket s, he nods. I didnt fix her
up. Bought her fr om a guy in Ar izona.
I walk ar ound, t r ailing my finger along her flawless gr ay
paint . What s she r unning?
He doesnt answer r ight away , and his ey es ar e dar k in a
way t hat I feel deep in my belly . 5 7 2 big block.
I whist le low. That s fr eaking spect acular . Id do almost
any t hing t o get under t he hood and fir e t his baby up. I bet she
r oar s like
Somet hing sinist er demands my at t ent ion. My ar m shoot s
t owar ds it , my finger point ing in accusat ion. Har ley
Blackline! My v oice echoes t hr ough t he space, allowing me t o
hear t he embar r assing high pit ch of my out bur st . Id car e if I
wer ent so ut t er ly beside my self wit h Jonahs collect ion.
You int o bikes t oo?
Im int o Har ley s. I dont know how t o r ide t hem, but t he
power behind t hese babies deser v es any ones admir at ion.
He chuckles and shov es his hands in his pocket s. Ill t ake
y ou for a r ide somet ime.
Go for a r ide on t he back of a Har ley wit h Jonah Slade?
His magnificent body bet ween my knees, hands r est ing
against his six-pack abs?
Yes, please. Okay .
He hit s me wit h his megawat t smile t hat has me fight ing
t o br eat he. Come on. The Impalas ov er her e.
I follow behind Jonah, my ey es fir mly plant ed on t he way
his jeans mov e wit h ev er y st r ide of his long legs as he leads
me t o t he back of t he gar age. He st ops and I almost slam int o
his back.
I st ep ar ound him and t her e she is: t he 61 Impala. Her
classic blue paint st ill shimmer s in places, like an old woman
who insist s on wear ing her r ed lipst ick. This old gir l isnt
going down wit hout a fight . I st udy ev er y inch of her fr ame,
and assess how much wor k needs t o be done. Ther es
sur pr isingly v er y lit t le body wor k out side of a couple r ust
spot s and a dent .
Oh, Jonah, shes beaut iful. I check out t he wheel wells,
not ice t he window r ubber s all need t o be r eplaced, and make a
not e t o or der new t aillight cov er s.
I pop t he hood and lean in t o t ake a peek. The engine needs
new mot or mount s, all new belt s, and a good cleaning. It
could be r eplaced wit h somet hing bigger , but t his isnt a
muscle car . This car is for cr uising. I need t o t ake it apar t
piece by piece t o see what can be salv aged and r ebuilt . A
moan fr om behind me cut s t hr ough my t hought s.
Wit h a t wist , I squint ov er my shoulder at Jonah st anding
a few feet fr om my back. My posit ion, bent beneat h t he hood
and r eaching int o t he back, has my bot t om out and up and
r ight in Jonahs line of sight . His ey es ar e fir mly plant ed and
my face ignit es.
Wit h a speed I didnt know I was capable of, I st r aight en
up and look t o t he floor , hoping t o hide my embar r assment .
Being in t his place, my mind focused on t he pr oject , I almost
for got he was t her e. Almost .
Sor r y , I um I hav e no wor ds. The heat fr om my
cheeks cr awls down my neck.
Do y ou like r ap? He t ur ns t o near by count er t op.
Huh?
Music. Jonah plugs his iPod t o a space-age-looking dock
and hip-hop beat s fill t he r oom.
I nod t o his back. Im not a r ap music fan, but , at t his
point , Id agr ee t o any t hing t hat t akes t he focus off of me.
Come ov er her e and Ill show y ou wher e ev er y t hings
at .
I exhale a br eat h. Thank goodness he didnt make t hat
mor e awkwar d t han it was.
Aft er a shor t guide t o his av ailable t ools, we get t o wor k. I
get int o a zone and concent r at e on t he build. He asks
quest ions, eager t o lear n t he pr ocess. We t alk about our jobs
and fr iends, falling int o comfor t able conv er sat ion.
A few hour s int o br eaking down t he engine, we t ake a
br eak. Jonah gr abs a bot t led wat er for me fr om t he mini
fr idge. It s diamond-plat ed chr ome cov er ing mat ches t he
cabinet r y . Fanciest gar age Iv e ev er been in, no doubt .
I wor k t o unscr ew t he cap fr om my wat er . So let me get
t his st r aight . Youv e been wor king out ev er y day , let t ing
y our fr iends kick y our but t , and t aking any fight y ou can
get , all for a big ugly belt ? I at t empt t o summar ize t he UFL
1 01 lesson Jonah gav e me.
His ey es go wide and his mout h dr ops open. They dont
kick my but t .
Laughing at his defense, I st r uggle wit h t he welded-shut
wat er bot t le.
He mot ions for me t o hand him my wat er . Her e, let me.
Unscr ewing t he st ubbor n t hing wit h ease, he hands it
back.
I loosened it for y ou. I dr ink deeply , hoping t he cool
wat er will quell my pounding pulse.
Of cour se, y ou did.
Okay , but r eally , t he belt is ugly . What do y ou do wit h it
once y ou get it ? Do y ou, I dont know, wear it out t o dinner or
ar ound t he house? Do y ou, like, model it for y our billboar d
ads? Judging by t he faint pink color ing Jonahs face at t he
ment ion of his ads, I bet he get s t eased oft en.
May be a black and whit e lay out of y ou and y our belt on
a sandy beach for , say , a pr ot ein shake billboar d? Sucking
bot h my lips bet ween my t eet h t o hide my smile, I wat ch in
fascinat ion a shy Jonah. He r ecov er s quickly and nar r ows his
ey es on me. Id wor r y t hat Id offended him if it wer ent for t he
humor light ing his face.
Ha, ha, ha. Ver y funny , he dr awls.
What ? You do model, dont y ou? I t ease doing my best
Der ek Zoolander face.
Exhaling, he t hr ows his hand in his hair and dr ops his
chin. Br inging his head back up, his ey es lock wit h mine.
Yes. I hav e sponsor s t hat Iv e modeled for . Happy ?
Im st ill smiling.
You t hink t hat s funny , huh?
Well, y eah, I do. Dont get me wr ong. It s not t he
modeling I t hink is funny . It s t he look on y our face when I
t alk about y ou modeling t hat s funny .
Tilt ing his head, I see somet hing wor king behind his ey es.
Then, t o my sur pr ise, he dips his finger in black gr ease and
swipes my cheek. Ther e. You t hink t hat s funny ?
I st ar e silent ly , glar ing in his dir ect ion. I snag t he t in of
gr ease, dip four finger s int o it , and hold t hem up. Your e
going down, Slade
I lunge at him and make a swipe on his neck. My inst inct s
t ell me t o be car eful, r eminding me t hat t his is a t r ained
fight er and t hat Im a lanky , t went y -y ear -old gir l. But a
comfor t t hat defies explanat ion has me t r ust ing him.
Dipping bot h set s of finger s int o t he gr ease, he giv es me a
look t hat say s I bet t er r un or else. I t ur n t o bolt just as I feel
t wo st r ong hands wr ap ar ound my biceps fr om behind. Wit h
a gir lish squeal, Im pulled, my back for ced t o t he fir m heat of
his chest . I swallow a moan t hat almost escapes my lips at t he
feeling of his har d body pr essed t o t he lengt h of mine. His
st r ong hands gr asp my ar ms, r ubbing t he oil wit h one long
st r oke fr om elbow t o shoulder , and ignit ing t he blood beneat h
my skin.
Your e going t o hav e t o t ap out . No way y our e going t o
win t his one. His wor ds ar e spoken int o my ear , making me
shiv er and pr act ically sag in his ar ms.
Oh y eah? My quest ion sounds weak in my own ear s.
Darn it.
Mmm-hmm. The v ibr at ion of his low v oice r umbles
against my back.
If I dont get out of t his hold soon, I may end up doing
somet hing st upid like r ub up against him and pur r .
I t wist har d and he r eleases me. Dar t ing ar ound t he
Impala, back t o t he gr ease t in, I lat her my hands up wit h
ammo and slink t owar ds him, hands held for war d in
war ning.
He cr ooks his finger at me and lift s an ey ebr ow. I lunge
again.
We chase and dodge, while laughing and t hr owing
t hr eat s at each ot her , unt il wer e out of gr ease and for ced t o
call a t r uce. Our clot hes and skin ar e cov er ed in t he oily
ev idence of our hor seplay . Against a wall, I slide down t o sit
and cat ch my br eat h. He t osses me a st ack of shop t owels and
goes t o wor k cleaning off his neck and face.
Okay , all fun aside, whose boot y do y ou hav e t o kick t o
get t his belt ? I wipe gr ease fr om my shoulder .
He sit s next t o me, cleaning t he muck fr om his finger s.
Vict or Del Tor o. Hes t he cur r ent heav y weight champion. No
ones been able t o knock him off t he t hr oneunt il now, of
cour se. The confidence in his v oice makes it a st at ement of
fact r at her t han a pr edict ion.
Hm. Well, good luck. A quick glance has me locked in
his st ar e, fier y hazel pulling me in. Not t hat y oull need it .
His ey es r oam my face and neck. My defenses t r y t o push
my gaze t o t he floor , but Im capt iv at ed by his allur e.
Awar eness, like a silent confession, passes bet ween us ignit ing
my blood. I suck in air and r oll my bot t om lip bet ween my
t eet h t o av oid say ing somet hing Ill r egr et like kiss me.
A slow gr in pulls at his mout h, his ey es spar kling. You
should come t o t he fight .
The way hes looking at me wakes t he but t er flies in my
st omach. Come t o t he fight ? Id say y es t o any t hing he asks.
Sur e, y eah.
Hes st ill st ar ing, but his smile gr ows, his dimples for ming
bookends t o his r adiant smile. It s Sept ember four t eent h at
Shut . Up. My power ful r esponse sur pr ises ev en me.
What ? Why ? Hes genuinely confused which only
endear s me t o him mor e.
Oh, no, I just mean shut up like no way My
t went y -fir st bir t hday is Sept ember fift eent h.
Wow, t went y -fir st . That s a big one. I r emember my
t went y -fir st . His ey es sear ch t he r aft er s, concent r at ing.
Act ually , I dont . Shr ugging one shoulder , he smir ks. I
hear d it was gr eat t hough. He r uns a hand t hr ough his hair
wit h a shy gr imace t hat I find complet ely sexy .
I fold t he gr easy shop t owel. How long ago was y our
t went y -fir st ?
His ey es nar r ow on mine. Rav en, ar e y ou t r y ing t o ask
me how old I am?
Heat war ms my neck, r ising up t o color my cheeks.
Fiv e y ear s ago. Im t went y -six. Comfor t able silence fills
t he air . Any way , y ou should come t o t he fight . Ill get y ou a
t icket . Call it an ear ly bir t hday pr esent .
Id lov e t hat . Thanks.
~*~
Jonah
Thir t y minut es wit h t he heav y bag didnt make a dent in
my at t empt t o exor cise Rav en fr om my head. I t hought for
sur e t hat spending t ime wit h her t his mor ning would wor k in
my fav or . Figur ed if I got t o know her bet t er , Id r ealize shes
just like ot her gir ls. I was wr ong.
Fr om t he moment she walked int o my house t o t he
moment she walked out , she held my r apt at t ent ion. Usually
when women st ar t t alking I zone out , but t his gir l said t hings
I want ed t o hear . She t alked about car s like t hey wer e family .
It was capt iv at ing. If t hat wer ent enough, wor king t oget her
was a br eeze. We fell int o easy conv er sat ion and comfor t able
silences, as if she wer e one of t he guy swell, one of t he guy s in
a super model package. Damn. What a package. Ev en t he
gar age, wit h it s t went y -foot ceilings, felt small wit h her in it .
No mat t er how far away I would mov e, her per fect body
seemed t oo close. Thank God I had t o get t o t r aining or Id
pr obably fallen t o my knees and begged her t o hav e dinner
wit h me.
This isnt good. Wit h t he t it le fight coming up, I cant
affor d any dist r act ions. May be I should put t he r est or at ion on
hold unt il aft er t he fight . That should giv e me t ime t o for get
about her . Or may be I should pull my shit t oget her and st op
act ing like some t eenager wit h per ma-wood.
I cant blow her off now. I pr omised her t icket s t o my
fight , and I cant go back on a pr omise. Comfor t washes ov er
me at t he t hought of looking out fr om t he oct agon on t he
biggest fight of my life and seeing Rav en st anding in my
cor ner . This shit is not cool. Ill get one of t he guy s t o giv e me
a t hor ough ass kicking befor e I leav e for being such a pansy .
But pansy or not , Im dr awn t o her by some unseen for ce.
Ev er y t hing fr om my t hought s t o my dick gr av it at es in her
dir ect ion. Like get t ing caught in a r ip t ide, one minut e Im
swimming, fr ee t o go in any dir ect ion, and t hen I feel a t ug.
Im kicking and flailing my ar ms and legs t owar d shor e while
t he inv isible pull t akes me in t he opposit e dir ect ion. No
mat t er how har d I swim, I keep going fur t her and fur t her out
t o sea.
Yeah, t hat s how it is wit h Rav en. One minut e Im fr ee,
nav igat ing t he wat er s of my life, and, now, I feel a t ug.
What s up, man? Wher e is ev er y one? Rex calls as he
makes his way t o t he mat s t o war m up.
They should be her e. I answer absent ly , st ill t r y ing t o
pull my head out of my ass. Yo, T-Rex. You missed a couple.
I mot ion t o my ey ebr ow and lip.
Shit , man. Thanks. Rex r emov es t he small bar bell fr om
his ey ebr ow and r ing fr om his lip and places t hem on t he
bench.
I st r et ch my ar ms and r oll my neck. Wher es Caleb?
Hes her e, just wr apping his ankle in t he locker r oom.
Rex mot ions ov er his shoulder wher e I see Caleb making his
way t o t he mat s.
Yall t alkin about me? Calebs t ellt ale, count r y -boy
accent echoes off t he walls. Owen sneaks up behind him, and
smacks t he back of his head. Ow, dick!
Owen ignor es Calebs pained r emar k. You done wr apping
y our ankle, sweet hear t ?
Caleb r ubs t he back of his head.
You guy s get war med up, and well br eak int o t eams for
gr appling. Owens or der is all business. Hes one of t he best
coaches in MMA, and when he get s down t o it , he doesnt fuck
ar ound.
You bit ches r eady t o get y our asses handed t o y ou?
Blake st r olls t owar d t he mat s. Lat e.
The gr oup gr umbles and t hr ows back a number of
differ ent t aunt s and insult s befor e we pair off and t ake our
places. This t it le fight is an accumulat ion of ev er y t hing Iv e
been wor king for since I st ar t ed fight ing. It s t he single biggest
accomplishment of my life. And Ill be damned if a gir l is
going t o r ob me of my goal. Nev er .
A few hour s int o t r aining and Im br eat hing deep. Sweat
coat s my skin, pr ov ing wit hout quest ion t hat I wor ked har d. I
welcome t he bur n of my muscles and t he flood of endor phins
t hat blur t he t hought s of a cer t ain female.
Owen calls t ime. Take fiv e and well hit t he bags.
We all gr ab our wat er s and st r et ch on t he floor .
Caleb flops down next t o me ly ing flat on his back. Wher e
ar e we wat ching t he game t his weekend?
Not my place. I swig fr om my wat er bot t le.
Jonahs it is. Owen decides for t he gr oup.
I scowl at him and cont emplat e sweeping his legs. The
fuck y ou say ?
He shr ugs in my dir ect ion.
Blakes st anding, gr abbing his ankle t o st r et ch his quad.
Sweet . Ill br ing t he pizza.
Ill get t he beer . Rexs v oice calls out fr om behind me.
Shit , no. I said not at my place.
Caleb nods t o Rex. Game st ar t s at t hr ee so we should be
t her e by t wo.
Fucking assholes. It s like Im not ev en her e.
Rexs dumb ass looks r ight past me. Dont for get , I hav e a
show t hat night . Sound checks at sev en. Ghost Bar . We can
all head ov er t o t he club aft er t he game.
You guy s want me t o br ing t he Wii? Caleb put s on his
glov es, his ey es dar t ing fr om dickhead t o dickhead,
ov er looking me.
No. No fucking Wii. What st ar t ed as wat ching a game at
my house has t ur ned int o a par t y , and knowing t hese guy s,
t hey ll st ay all weekend.
Oh come on, Vajonah. Blakes cocky smile makes me
clench my fist . You wor r ied we might dir t y y our kit chen?
He lift s one ey ebr ow.
I spear him wit h a glar e. As if one douche bag giv ing me
shit isnt enough, I dont need t he gr oup giv ing me a har d
t ime.
All r ight , fine. But no pizza. Ill t hr ow somet hing on t he
gr ill. I cant eat t hat shit t his close t o t he fight . Defeat ed and
pissed as hell, I st r ap on my glov es.
If y our e going t o gr ill, Ill br ing Nikki. She can whip up
some healt hy shit in t he kit chen and sit by t he pool.
Owens wife Nikki is a nut r it ionist and kicks all kinds of
ass in t he kit chen. That alone makes t his wor t h it .
Sounds like a plan. Ill br ing some gir ls so Nik will hav e
chicks t o hang out wit h. The gr oup goes st ill, st ar ing at
Blake. What ?
Ev er y one knows t he kind of gir ls Blake keeps company
wit h. Im not int er est ed in hav ing a bunch of jock-sniffing
gr oupies ar ound, and Blake t r av els wit h a fucking har em.
Owen looks at Blake, a gr in pulling at his lips. This
should be int er est ing.
Blake glar es at Owen. That was a long t ime ago, man.
You t wo wer ent mar r ied y et .
Nah, but Nikki sur e didnt appr eciat e y our bit ches
r ubbing up on my shit . Owen laughs and shr ugs.
How can y ou laugh? Blake t hr ows his ar ms out t o his
sides. Nik br oke t hat chicks nose.
Owens laught er answer s Blakes quest ion.
I cr oss my ar ms at my chest . I dont want a house full of
y our knob polisher s.
Hey , a play er needs lov in t oo.
No mor e t han t wo, Blake. Im ser ious, I war n.
Yeah, I got it . He dismisses me wit h a wav e of his hand.
He doesnt get it .
I t ilt my head, feeling t he side of my lip cur l int o a smile.
Say it , Blake. Say , I pr omise, Jonah, I wont br ing mor e t han
t wo chicks t o y our bar beque.
Blakes ey es nar r ow. Ar e y ou fucking ser ious? I said I got
it .
Say it .
Shit . Fine. I wont br ing mor e t han t wo chicks t o y our
bar beque. Blakes jaw is so t ight Im sur pr ised he doesnt bust
a t oot h. This guy is so easy t o mess wit h.
You for got , I pr omise, Jonah.
Umpf!
My br eat h is knocked fr om my lungs as Blake t r ies t o t ake
me down t o t he mat unsuccessfully .

Four
Raven
It s day t hr ee wor king on t he Impala: sev ent een hour s
and t hir t y -eight minut es t o be exact . I keep t r ack of t he hour s
spent at Jonahs for my t ime car d, not because I mar k ev er y
minut e wit h him, commit t ing it t o memor y so t hat when my
wor k her e is done I hav e somet hing t o r emind me of our t ime
t oget her .
Iv e got t he engine out and apar t . Going t hr ough it piece
by piece, I set aside t he t hings t hat can be salv aged while
Jonah disassembles t he inside. Per ched at a wor kbench, I sor t
t hr ough t he mot or br acket s.
Out of t he few r est or at ions Iv e done ov er t he y ear s, t his
one is by far t he best : high-end t ools at my disposal, clean
wor king env ir onment , gr eat company and t he v iew. Like
t he one I hav e r ight now.
Jonah is ly ing on his back acr oss t he fr ont seat of t he car ,
his head under neat h t he dashboar d. His t -shir t slid up,
exposing a few inches of his fir m st omach. A st r ip of dar k hair
t r ails fr om his belly but t on and disappear s beneat h his saggy
jeans. His st r ong legs ar e open in a V t o br ace his weight
against t he floor .
Ouch, gosh dang it ! I gr ab my bloody finger , mor e
wor r ied about bleeding on Jonahs st uff t han t he ext ent of my
injur y .
You okay ? Jonah r ises fr om his sexy pose and st ands
acr oss t he wor kbench fr om me, wor r y et ched on his per fect
face.
Yeah, it s fine. St upid r ust y br acket . I mov e t o st ick my
finger in my mout h when he gr abs my hand.
No, dont do t hat . Ger ms.
Heat r ises up my neck and int o my face. Oh, y our e
r ight . I r ub my for ehead, hoping t hat I can cov er my
embar r assment wit h my fr ee hand. Mout hs ar e dir t y .
He lift s his gaze fr om my wound, but I av oid his ey es. Not
ger ms fr om y our mout h. Ger ms fr om y our hand. Who knows
what kind of shit is liv ing on t hat t hing. He mot ions t o t he
offending br acket . I peek up at him and wat ch a smile t ug at
his lips. Fr om what I can t ell, y ou hav e a v er y clean
mout h. He flashes one dimple, befor e his gaze dr ops t o my
lips.
I r oll t hem t oget her , wet t ing t hem wit h my t ongue. My
chest r ises and falls in er r at ic bur st s and heat floods my body .
Iv e got somet hing for t hat . The deep t imbr e of his v oice
dr aws me closer unt il Im leaning t owar d him ov er t he
wor kbench.
I swear t he man could bed any woman wit h one look. He
r eleases my hand t o walk t o t he near by cabinet s. I slump
for war d, bolst er ing my self against t he t ablet op t o keep
upr ight .
Im no idiot when it comes t o lust . Iv e seen it in men
befor e. But Iv e nev er felt it : The bur ning need pushing
against my chest ; t he building t ension t hat coils in my belly ;
my blood r acing in my v eins, flooding my head wit h v isions
of his hands on my body . Desir e fir es my skin, flushing my
cheeks. I look ar ound for somet hing t o use t o fan my self.
Her e y a go. His v oice is r ight at my side, and I push
back t he ur ge t o r ub up against him as Dog does when Im
holding his food.
He lift s my hand sending delicious t ingles down my ar m.
Wit h a quick squeeze of oint ment , he wr aps my finger in a
Band-Aid. His hands ar e sur pr isingly gent le for t heir size, and
I wonder how many women hav e felt t heir t ender ness in
bet t er places t han t heir hands. Thousands would be my
guess. My st omach t wist s wit h painful jealousy .
Your e good at t his. I guess y oud hav e t o be in y our
pr ofession.
Yeah, I get a lot of pr act ice. He finishes wit h my hand
and t hr ows out t he wr apper s.
I want t o t hank him for t aking car e of my wound. Iv e
been on my own for so long I dont r emember t he last t ime
someone t ook such car e wit h me. The gr at it ude I feel for his
kindness makes me want t o t hr ow my self int o his ar ms and
kiss him. Gratitude, yeah right, that s what I m feeling. Inst ead,
I change t he subject .
What got y ou int o fight ing? Wer e y ou a wr est ler in high
school?
He clear s his t hr oat . No, I st ar t ed st r eet fight ing fir st .
Wit h his knuckles on t he wor kbench, he dr ops his head for
a moment befor e br inging his ey es back t o mine. For t he fir st
t ime, t her es sadness t her e.
My dad died when I was t welv e. The wor ds come out
for ced, like hes not used t o t he feeling of t hem on his lips. I
became t he man of t he house way befor e I was r eady . I st ar t ed
get t ing in fight s at school, get t ing in t r ouble all t he t ime. My
mom, he pauses t o r un bot h hands t hr ough his hair , she
was dest r oy ed when my Dad died. I just made t hings wor se.
His dar k ey ebr ows fur r ow ov er his deep-set ey es as he
looks past me.
At fift een, I got bust ed while kicking some kids ass at a
par k by my house. The cop pulled me aside and said t hat if I
didnt get my shit t oget her Id end up in jail. He t old me I
could use my anger t o bet t er my life. He shakes his head
wit h a wist ful smile. It didnt make sense at t he t ime. His
last wor ds ar e said under his br eat h.
Hes next t o me phy sically , but his ey es ar e far away . He
gav e me t he addr ess of a Boy s Club, t old me t hey t aught
kar at e, jiu-jit su, boxingst uff like t hat . The way I saw it ,
beat ing t he shit out of people wasnt doing any t hing but
making my mom cr y . May as well t ake his adv ice.
He shr ugs and his ey es meet mine, no longer t r oubled. He
st udies my face
Im sor r y about y our dad. You must r eally miss him. I
know the feeling. Alt hough, how can I miss what I nev er had?
I banish t he t hought as soon as it for ms.
Yeah, he was cool. He wor ked har d, but found t ime t o
t hr ow t he ball wit h me or get down on t he floor wit h my
sist er and play Bar bies. His lips upt ur n war mly and his ey es
go soft . He was a big guy as y ou can imagine, so t hat was no
small t ask.
My hear t swells wit h appr eciat ion t hat Jonah was able t o
exper ience a good dad, ev en if only for t welv e y ear s. The fact
t hat he has good memor ies t o car r y wit h him is mor e t han I
could hope for . He sounds amazing.
He was.
How did he die? The quest ion is air bor ne befor e I r ealize
t he boldness of my int r usion. I dr op my gaze, immediat ely
want ing t o t ake it back.
Silence fills t he space bet ween us, sucking t he oxy gen
fr om my lungs. I shouldnt hav e asked such a per sonal
quest ion. Knowing someone for t hr ee day s har dly const it ut es
t his t y pe of soul exposing confession.
Im sor r y , it s none of my
Hit by a dr unk dr iv er .
I meet his gaze and almost st umble backwar ds at t he
agony in his ey es. Hes not angr y . Hes hear t br oken. My ey es
bur n and I swallow har d.
He was killed inst ant ly . I was so pissed off. It seemed so
unfair . I t hought if I could beat t he shit out of someone, make
t hem hur t as badly as I was hur t ing, Id feel bet t er . Shaking
his head, he t akes a deep br eat h. Didnt wor k.
My hands it ch t o soot he him wit h my t ouch, ev en if only
t o gr ab his hand and let him know Im her e and t hat I
under st and.
Accor ding t o t he local media, hes a pr iv at e guy . He nev er
exposes infor mat ion about his family or per sonal life. Shar ing
t hat wit h me t ook a lot of cour age. For all he knows, I could
r un out and sell his st or y t o t he paper s. But he t r ust ed me.
And t he best way t o pay him back is t o t r ust him in r et ur n.
My mom mov ed her e fr om Colombia wit h her par ent s
when she was eight . I clear my t hr oat . Im ner v ous. Iv e only
t old t his st or y t o Ev e and Guy . My palms sweat and I busy my
hands picking at a shop t owel. I guess t hey came her e for t he
job oppor t unit ies t hat Las Vegas had t o offer . My
gr andpar ent s wer e wor king at t he MGM when a fir e br oke out
in one of t he r est aur ant s. Back t hen, t her e wer e no spr inkler s
in t hat par t of t he casino. Eight y -fiv e people died, including
t hem.
Iv e hear d about t hat fir e. They call it t he wor st disast er
in Las Vegas hist or y .
Yeah, t hat s t he one. My mom was fift een. She had no
family her e and wasnt a legal adult so she had t o go liv e in a
gr oup home. At eight een she had t o leav e and find a job and
somewher e t o liv e. I t ake a deep br eat h as I pr epar e for t he
final blow.
That s when she met Im afr aid t o say his name. If
Jonah knew whose blood r uns t hr ough my v eins, hed
pr obably nev er speak t o me again. Deep down I know t hat our
wor king r elat ionship will end someday , but Im not r eady t o
giv e it up y et . She t ook t he fir st oppor t unit y she could find.
Oh, did she get a casino job like
My moms a pr ost it ut e. Hear ing t he wor ds out loud
sound so much wor se t han t hey did in my head. I dr op my
gaze t o t he floor , afr aid t o look up and see t he disappoint ment
or wor se, disgust in Jonahs ey es.
Seconds pass. Hes complet ely silent . So much for not
losing his fr iendship.
~*~
Jonah
Sor r y , I didnt mean t o just t hr ow it out t her e like t hat .
She laughs uncomfor t ably and st udies t he ends of her hair .
Hear ing those wor ds come fr om this gir l? Im in shock.
Liv ing in Las Vegas, pr ost it ut ion is fair ly common. It s
illegal out side of a licensed br ot hel, but t hat doesnt st op a few
key play er s fr om maint aining t he business. But t o t hink t hat
t his beaut iful woman, so innocent and unaffect ed, was r aised
in t hat wor ld.
I shake my head. I dont know what t o say .
She wav es her hand dismissiv ely . Dont wor r y about it . I
under st and. You pr obably shouldnt be associat ing wit h
people like me, what wit h y our big fight coming up. She
t ur ns away fr om t he wor kbench and gr abs her backpack. Is
she leaving?
My mind scr ambles for t he r ight t hing t o say , but a
fr ant ic need t o keep her her e mov es my body fir st .
She heads for t he door and I gr ab her ar m. No, wait .
Dont go.
Shes silent , her back t o me, head dr ooping bet ween her
shoulder s.
I didnt mean t o make y ou feel bad or ashamed. Im just
sur pr ised t hat someone as innocent and open as y ou could
hav e been r aised
By a hooker . She t ugs against my hold, but I dont let
go. Her head dr ops ev en lower . Just say it , Jonah.
Pain t wist s in my chest at t he demor alized sound in her
v oice. She sat and list ened t o me t alk about my family and
shar e my pain, but t he second she opens up, I t r eat her like a
leper .
Look, Rav en, Im not good at t his r elat ing t o people and
shar ing. Fuck. I br eat he deep and sear ch for t he r ight wor ds
t o keep her fr om pushing me away . I t hink y our e amazing.
Her muscles t ense beneat h my hand. It doesnt mat t er how
y ou wer e r aised or who y ou wer e r aised by . All t hat mat t er s
is who y ou ar e now.
She t ur ns t owar d me, her ey ebr ows pinched and her
mout h in a flat line.
I r elease her ar m and shov e my hands in my pocket s t o
keep fr om gr abbing her and kissing t hat look off her face.
The woman I see r ight now, shes somet hing special.
Her pinched ey ebr ows dissolv e int o wide ey es, and a
dazzling smile t hr eat ens t o send me t o my knees.
Thank y ou. Her wor ds ar e said in t hat br eat hy way
t hat I want t o feel against my lips.
We st and only a foot apar t , lost in t he int ensit y of what
wev e just shar ed, giv ing each ot her a lit t le piece of our selv es.
Im balancing on t he edge of somet hing huge. I t r y t o push
back, clawing my way t o solid gr ound, when ev er y t hing in
me scr eams t o swan div e off t he pr ecipice.
My emot ions swir l in a cockt ail of confusion, desir e
war r ing wit h self-pr eser v at ion. But t hr ough t his, one t hing is
clear . Ther e is no wor king t his gir l out of my sy st em. Fr om
t he moment she walked out of Guy s Gar age, she bur r owed in
deep. This whole t ime Iv e been kicking and fight ing against
her pull. What if I just let go?
Iv e been av oiding t his since t he day I left home, not
want ing t o be r esponsible for anot her per sons happiness and
wellbeing. But locked int o t he aquamar ine ey es of t he woman
in fr ont of me, I r ealize Id giv e up ev er y t hing for t he chance
t o t ake car e of her .
I hav e a choice t o make, and scr ewing her out of my
sy st em isnt one of t hem: face my fear s and t ake a shot at a
r elat ionship or let her go. Shell go on liv ing her life unt il
someone wor t hy of her lov e comes along.
Oh, hell no!
My t eet h clench and possessiv e fur y t wist s my gut . The
t hought of her lov ing some piece of shit wit h her gor geous
body , some ot her guy s hands t angled in her hair as he
dev our s her mout h, br ings a gr owl fr om my chest .
Do y ou hav e a boy fr iend, Rav en?
What ? No! Her r esponse comes out fast and defensiv e.
Well, t hank fuck for t hat .
My lips cur l so har d my cheeks ache. Decision made.
What ar e y ou doing t omor r ow?
She chews on her lip and looks t o t he floor . Um
t omor r ow is Sat ur day . Im off.
I st ep closer so close t hat I can feel t he heat coming off her
body . Her br eat h cat ches and I det ect t he unmist akable lust
in her ey es. Jonah?
The way she say s my name sat ur at es my blood wit h
ar ousal, and I fight t o keep my ey es fr om r olling back in my
head.
Come ov er t omor r ow. Im hav ing a bar beque. I want y ou
t her e. My v oice sounds deep and gr av elly in my own ear s.
Im not t aking no for an answer . I cant . I want her , and now
t hat Iv e st opped fight ing it , I cant get her soon enough.
Okay .
I gr in at her simple answer t o what wasnt a quest ion. I
cup her face t hen slide my hand back t o for k my finger s int o
her hair at her nape. Her ey es flut t er closed. War mt h
explodes in my chest , flooding my v eins and making my
hear t r ace. As much as I want t o kiss her , I for ce my self t o
st ep back.
Let s get back t o wor k. I t ur n back t o t he Impala.
The t iny whimper fr om her giv es me hope. Shes just as
wound up as I am. If t he sexual t ension is alr eady t his high,
what will t he sex be like?
I fr eeze as dr ead dr ops in my st omach, heav y and
unwelcome. Iv e nev er slept wit h t he same gir l mor e t han
once. I lose int er est seconds aft er I or gasm. What if I lose
int er est in Rav en?
I t ur n t o look at her ov er my shoulder . Shes at t he
wor kbench, sor t ing t hr ough engine par t s. Her ey es look up
fr om beneat h t he canopy of her dar k lashes and she giv es me
a shy smile.
Im complet ely fucked.
Five
Raven
Whoa, Rav e, t hat s t he one. Get t hat one. Ev e point s t o
t he cor al-color ed st r ing bikini. That color will compliment
y our skin and make y our ey es t ot ally pop.
Im gr at eful t o hav e Ev e wit h me on t his last minut e
shopping t r ip. Jonahs bar beque is t oday . Aft er his
impr ompt u inv it e t hat left me gr inning like an idiot , he t old
me t o br ing a bat hing suit . I t hought , and Ev e agr eed, t hat
t he possibilit y of swimming at a celebr it y s house called for a
new suit .
I pay t he swanky bout iques cashier and figur e Ill hav e t o
get Dog gener ic cat food for t he next six mont hs t o make up for
t he money I just spent . He liv es in a dumpst er . He wont mind
t he cheap st uff.
We pop int o a lit t le coffee shop t o gr ab a lat t e when my
cell phone r ings. I check t he caller ID. But t er flies st ir in my
belly .
Oh my gosh, Ev e, it s him. I hold my phone out t o her ,
t hinking t hat she might answer it for me.
Iv e been wor king for Jonah all week, and hes nev er
called me. How does he know my number? He gav e me his
number t he day he came t o t he gar age, and I pr ogr ammed it
in my phone in case I couldnt find his house. And why am I so
ner v ous? Sweat slicks my palms, making me almost lose t he
hold on my phone. Or may be t hat s t he shaking.
Ev e leans away fr om me, shooing t he phone t o my ear
wit h a few quick flicks of her wr ist . Uh-uh, gir l, wer e not in
gr ade school. Now answer y our damn phone.
I st ep out of t he or der ing line and head t o a t able at t he
back of t he coffee shop. I cant sit as ner v ous ener gy keeps me
pacing.
Wit h a finger pr essed t o my ear t o dr own out t he chat t er ,
I dr op my head. Hello?
Rav en, what s up? It s Jonah.
I know I mean I hav e y our number in my phone, y ou
know, fr om t hat fir st day , and it came up on t he
Ev e elbows me in t he r ibs and shakes her head. And t hank
God. Who knows how long I would hav e r ambled.
His low chuckle v ibr at es t he phone against my ear ,
sending goose bumps down t hat side of my body . Hes ev en
sexy t hr ough t he t elephone. Right . Wher e ar e y ou?
My gir lfr iend Ev e and I ar e hav ing coffee at I st ar e at
t he coffeehouse sign. My face heat s immediat ely and Ev e
giggles. The Bump and Gr ind.
He laughs again, just as low and sexy as t he fir st , but
louder . Only in Vegas, huh?
Yeah, God for bid t her e be a St ar bucks ar ound. I r oll my
ey es, ev en t hough he cant see me.
I want ed t o t ouch base and make sur e y ou wer e coming
by t his aft er noon.
Of cour se, four oclock, r ight ?
That s it . And, Rav en?
Mm-hm?
Br ing Ev e along.
My ey es dar t t o Ev e who is st anding near by hanging on
my ev er y wor d. I smile at her . Br ing Ev e? Okay , sur e. Her
face split s int o a smile, and she fist pumps t he air .
Gr eat . See y ou in a few.
The phone disconnect s, and Ev e and I st ar e at each ot her
for a few wor dless seconds.
Wer e going back t o t he bout ique. Ev e gr abs my ar m
and pulls me out t he door . I need a new suit t oo if Im going t o
meet The Assassin.
I st op walking. Please, what ev er y ou do, do not call him
The Assassin t o his face. That would be so embar r assing.
She lift s one side of her glossed lips like I just gav e her a
fant ast ic idea. Oh, great.
You know, t her ell pr obably be a few single guy s t her e
t onight . I ask t he silent quest ion wit h my ey es.
Ev e is gor geous, and she get s plent y of at t ent ion fr om
guy s, but her t ast e is select iv e. She only dat es complet e jer ks.
Well see. She shr ugs. It would t ake someone pr et t y
special t o t ur n my head at t his point . A sly smile spr eads
acr oss her face.
Ev e has a secr et . I look ar ound befor e pulling her fr om t he
sidewalk t o a bench.
Who is he? Excit ement must show in my expr ession and
Ev es face light s up.
Oh, Rav e! Hes amazing. I met him at wor k. He came
int o t he r est aur ant for dinner , and he was so sweet . She has
a dr eamy look t hat I dont see oft en on my cy nical fr iend. He
asked me out and I said y es, she squeals.
That s gr eat . Whens t he dat e?
Oh, it was t wo weeks ago. Guilt laces her v oice. Wev e
been hanging out almost ev er y night since.
My br ows dr op low. I t r y t o just ify why my best fr iend has
been dat ing a guy for t wo weeks and t his is t he fir st Iv e hear d
about it . We t ell each ot her ev er y t hing. Just last week Ev e
called me at midnight t o t ell me t hat Donny Osmond came
int o her r est aur ant and t old her she had gr eat bone
st r uct ur e. And for t wo weeks shes been keeping her my st er y
boy fr iend fr om me?
This cant be good. Hist or y pr ov es t hat she at t r act s t he
meanest most abusiv e guy s Vegas has t o offer : usually
v er bally , somet imes phy sically , and alway s emot ionally . I
t ell my self t hat she doesnt know bet t er . Gr owing up in t hat
env ir onment , she obv iously sway s t owar d her idea of nor mal.
But sur ely she doesnt want t he life her mom had.
Iv e been r unning in t he opposit e dir ect ion of my moms
life since I knew she was a pr ost it ut e. Im a mechanic and a
v ir gin. Cant get mor e opposit e t han t hat .
Im sor r y I didnt t ell y ou. Hes r eally um pr iv at e. He
t old me he wasnt r eady for any one t o know about us. Things
ar e get t ing pr et t y ser ious t hough, so Im sur e y oull meet him
soon.
Im r eally happy for y ou, Ev e. The hur t in my v oice
cont r adict s my wor ds.
Her smile t ur ns sad. Hey , Im sor r y .
It s fine, r eally .
She hops t o her feet and gr abs my hand. Come on. Let s
go get me t hat suit . Just because Im officially off t he mar ket
doesnt mean Im not going t o enjoy t he v iew t onight . These
guy s wor k har d for t heir bodies. I st and and she links her
ar m in mine. I int end on showing my appr eciat ion.
A couple mor e hour s of shopping and we head back t o my
house t o fr eshen up. At t hr ee for t y -fiv e on t he dot , we leav e
for Jonahs. I t oss my backpack int o Ev es car just as Guy calls
t o me fr om t he open bay door s of t he gar age.
I pop my head in t he car door . Giv e me a minut e? Ill go
see what he want s.
I jog t o Guy whos st anding wit h Leo and Cane, t wo ot her
mechanics in t he shop. Hey , guy s. What s up?
Their ey es t r av el fr om my neck t o my t oes and back
again. They dont look happy about what t hey see.
Wher er e y ou going dr essed like t hat , Ray ? Guy mot ions
t o my halt er dr ess bat hing suit cov er up.
Im going t o a bar beque pool par t y t hing. I hook t he
st r ing of my bikini t op wit h my t humb and hold it out . I
mean, isnt it obv ious. And why ar e t hey looking at me like
Im wear ing r aw meat ?
Ther e gonna be dudes at t his par t y ? Leos pr ot ect iv e
t one isnt t he least bit sur pr ising. Hes got t hr ee daught er s
and fiv e gr anddaught er s.
Yes. Ther e will be guy s t her e.
Cane, t he newest mechanic at t he shop, laughs har d,
making his big belly shake. Guy and Leo ar ent laughing.
Whose par t y is it ? And please, dont t ell me it s at one of
t hem t it t y pools all t he casinos ar e opening, Leo say s,
sending Cane int o anot her fit of laught er .
You guy s, it s fine. Im going t o Jonahs.
No one is laughing. Not only ar e t hey not laughing but
t hey r e fr ozen. Complet ely st ill. Oh no, t his cant be good.
Guy br eaks t he silence. Ray , dont be a dumb shit .
Im not . Falling for a guy who will most likely br eak my
hear t ? May be I am. Er Ill t r y not t o be a dumb um
what y ou said.
The man, who has been like a fat her t o me, must r ead my
face. Your e wear ing a dr ess. He makes a t sking sound and
shakes his head. Known y ou since y ou wer e four t een. Aint
nev er seen y ou in a dr ess. Guy s pr obably r ight about t hat .
He was my shop t eacher in high school, and I nev er wor e
dr esses t o school.
Oh, wait .
What about gr aduat ion? I put my hands on my hips t o
for ce some at t it ude int o my declar at ion. I wor e a dr ess t o
gr aduat ion.
That was a gr aduat ion gown.
Dar n, t hat s r ight .
What ev er . This isnt a dr ess any way , it s a cov er up. I
smoot h t he soft fabr ic ov er my st omach. It s new. Now, if y ou
guy s will excuse me
You ser iously gonna let her go? Leos quest ion is dir ect ed
at Guy .
Shes a gr own woman.
And hes nailed mor e women in Vegas t han Bar r y
Manilow.
Ray s a smar t gir l. I t r ust her not t o fuck up. Guy s ey es
swing t o mine. Right , Ray ? His quest ion r eeks of war ning.
I nod.
You call us if y ou need any t hing. Dont dr ink booze. Say
no t o dr ugs. And what ev er y ou do, do not t ake a dr ink fr om a
st r anger or leav e y our dr ink unat t ended. You got t a piss, y ou
t ake y our cup in t he john wit h y ou. Leos inst r uct ions ar e
giv en wit h a fir m point t o my face wit h each one.
Got it . Can I go now?
They shake t heir heads and t ur n back int o t he gar age
gr umbling. I pr act ically skip back t o t he car wit h a cheek-
cr amping smile plast er ed acr oss my face.
~*~
Jonah
Im ant sy as hell. I hit t he gy m, went for a r un, wor ked on
t he Impala, and not hing seemed t o help. Needing t o hear her
v oice, I finally br oke down and called her . She seemed
ner v ous on t he phone, which was somet hing I hav ent seen
fr om her in a while. In t he gar age, she wor ks wit h t he cool
confidence of a seasoned mechanic, but out side of t he gar age,
shes shy and ner v ous. And bot h ar e hot as hell.
Rav en is not hing like t he gir ls Im used t o. Shes not
ar r ogant or ov er ly aggr essiv e. She doesnt t r y t o mind-fuck
y ou int o submission. Wit h her , y ou get what y ou see. No
t wist ed facades or act s of desper at ion. She doesnt expect
any t hing fr om me. It s r efr eshing. And because of t hat , Im
complet ely at ease ar ound her .
Iv e known her for a week, and Im spilling my gut s about
my dad like a pigt ailed gir l at a sleepov er . The wor ds Id been
holding in for y ear s just pour ed out , and r at her t han making
me feel weak for my admission, she gav e r ight back.
I miss her when shes not ar ound. I nev er miss women.
Hell, I go mont hs wit hout seeing my mom and sist er . Nev er
bot her s me. Rav ens been away fr om me for t went y -four
hour s, and Im going nut s, as if somet hing v aluable wer e
missing.
When she was her e y est er day , I was shocked at how
quickly I gav e in t o t he ur ge t o t ouch her . We st ood so close at
one point our ey es locked in a lust y st ar e down. I was r eady t o
explode. Then she had t o go and lick her lips. I would hav e
kissed her if I t hought Id be able t o st op t her e. The way I was
feeling, I would hav e t aken her on t he hood of t he car . Ment al
images assault my br ain, elicit ing a gr oan fr om deep in my
chest . Shell be her e soon, and her e Im ment ally fucking her
on my car .
The door bell r ings, shaking me fr om my fant asy . Shes
her e. I adjust my boar d shor t s befor e I t hr ow open t he door t o
t he object of my obsession. My smile falls.
Owen pushes past me wit h bags of what I assume is food.
Good t o see y ou t oo.
Hey , Nik. I kiss Owens wife on t he cheek.
Jonah, how ar e y ou? She giv es me a quick hug. Owen
baby , just t hr ow t hat st uff in t he kit chen.
Nikki is t he r esident chef at all our bar beques. She knows
her way ar ound my kit chen, so I leav e her t o it .
Owen dr ops t he bags t hen walks st r aight t o t he backy ar d
bar . He angles his bar st ool t o face t he sixt y -inch flat scr een
and t ur ns on Sportscenter.
I join him out side, gr ab a beer , and set t le in. Halfway
t hr ough my fir st beer , Caleb and Rex show up. The guy s
ar gue whet her t he San Diego Padr es will go t o t he Wor ld
Ser ies. Owen say s it ll be t he As. Im sur e it ll be t he Yankees,
but I st ay out of t he conv er sat ion. Nikkis v oice, along wit h a
couple ot her female v oices, cut s t hr ough t he conv er sat ion.
Jonah, y our guest s ar e her e, she calls fr om t he sliding
glass door .
Her announcement silences t he baseball t alk as ev er y one
t ur ns t o see who it is.
Holy fucking shit .
It s Rav en.
And shes wear ing a dr ess.
Thankful for my sunglasses, I let my ey es r oam her body
fr eely . Her dar k hair is br aided t o t he side, t he t hick chocolat e
r ope ly ing against t he swell of her br east . My gaze linger s on
her cleav age, t he dr ess accent uat ing her alr eady per fect
for m. The flowing fabr ic ends well abov e her knees, exposing
her long, t oned legs.
I v aguely not ice t he blonde at her side. That must be Ev e.
As t hey walk t owar d t he bar , I cant t ake my ey es off
Rav en. She glides acr oss t he y ar d in t hat unconsciously sexy
way of her s. A deep moan fr om one of t he guy s at t he bar has
me t ur ning my head. They hav e t heir gr eedy fucking ey es
locked on my gir l and her fr iend.
My gir l?
Possession flar es, hav ing me st ep away fr om t he bar t o
meet t hem, effect iv ely cut t ing t he gir ls off fr om t he ogling,
lecher ous dicks behind me.
Is t his a joke?
Didnt see t his coming.
I hear t he mumbled comment s fr om t he numb-nut
galler y , and ball my fist s t o keep fr om flipping t hem off.
Ladies, glad y ou could make it . Im impr essed t hat my
v oice didnt cr ack under t he pr essur e.
Hey , Jonah. Rav en t ilt s her head, mot ioning t o her
fr iend. This is my fr iend, Ev e. Ev e, t his is Jonah.
Hi, Jonah. Ev e shakes my hand and per uses t he
backy ar d. Nice digs.
Thanks. Come on. Ill int r oduce y ou t o t he guy s.
I dir ect t he gir ls t o walk ahead of me wit h t he idea t hat I
can place my hand on t he small of Rav ens back. It s a gent le
way of claiming her in fr ont of t he guy s. It s eit her t hat or
plunge my t ongue down her t hr oat in fr ont of ev er y one, and
somet hing t ells me shes not quit e r eady for t hat .
She br ushes past . Her delicat e pear fr agr ance fills my
lungs. I bit e my lip and lust sat ur at es my br ain. My finger s
bur n t o bur y t hemselv es in her hair and pull her t o me.
I place my hand wher e t he slope of her spine flows t o her
ass and near ly st umble ov er my feet . Ther e, on t he backdr op
of her per fect oliv e skin, is t he t at t oo t hat has been t aunt ing
me for day s. A flock of blackbir ds ser pent ine fr om her
shoulder , dipping below t he fabr ic of her dr ess. Fr om t he scale
of t he t at t oo, Id say t he bir ds st ar t at her hip.
The v iew ev okes images of her laid out naked befor e me.
Running my t ongue along my lip, I imagine what it would
t ast e like t o kiss her fr om one end of her t at t oo t o t he ot her . To
feel her skin, war m, soft and sweet against my lips. Im
alr eady har d as a r ock, and I hav ent ev en seen her in her
bikini y et . I go ov er baseball st at s, t r y ing t o ease my r aging
need.
This is my fr iend Owen. Rav en r akes her sunglasses up
on her head. The pier ced one is Rex, and t he one who looks
like he just jumped off a t r act or in Idaho is Caleb. She nods
t hr ough t he int r oduct ions. Guy s, t his is Rav en and her
fr iend, Ev e.
I wat ch closely as my fr iends size up t he gir ls. It s not
wast ed on me t hat t hey seem t o find t he t wo women
at t r act iv e. But t hey linger a lit t le t oo long on Rav ens ey es.
Damn, gir l. You got some wicked peeper s. Owens
obser v at ion has t he r est of t he guy s agr eeing in gr umbled
affir mat ions.
A familiar blush light s her cheeks. Thank y ou. It s nice
t o finally meet y ou guy s.
Finally ? Rexs shit -eat ing gr in t ugs at his lip r ing. How
long hav e y ou and Jonah been hanging out ?
Rav ens at t ent ion slides t o me, her ey es wide. Oh, wer e
not hanging out er we wor k
What would y ou gir ls like t o dr ink? I r edir ect t he
conv er sat ion and smile at t he r elief I cat ch in Rav ens
expr ession. Why does it feel as if wer e hiding some deep, dar k
secr et ?
Wat er would be gr eat , Rav en answer s and Ev e nods.
You gir ls up for baseball? Most gir ls wouldnt be
int er est ed in t he game, but , t hen again, most gir ls ar ent car
mechanics.
Baseball? Rav en scr unches up her nose and shakes her
head. So damn cute.
I mot ion t o t he lounger s set up poolside. Would y ou
r at her get some sun?
She st udies t he double lounger and looks at Ev e. They
bot h smile big. Yes, please.
I set t hem up wit h t owels and a lounger , placing t hem
close enough so t hat I can admir e Rav en, and go back and
for t h fr om t hem t o t he game easily .
Wit h a fr esh beer in hand, I r elax against t he bar and
set t le in for t he game. So far so good. I hav e a gir l, a date, ov er
at my house. The guy s ar e being semi-r espect ful. The gir ls
ar e laughing and t alking comfor t ably . What could possibly go
wr ong?
Let s get t his par t y st ar t ed, mot her fucker s!
Oh, shit . Blake.
Six
Jonah
My glar e shar pens t owar d t he sound of his v oice, and it
t akes ev er y t hing I hav e not t o punch somet hing.
Fuck me, I whisper t o t he floor .
Blake isnt alone. He has three gir ls wit h him. Two of t hem
Iv e seen befor e. One is t he r ed-headed st r ipper , and t he ot her
is t he blond st r ipper I slept wit h a week ago.
Gir ls Iv e slept wit h dont come ov er . Ev er . What t he hell
is Blake t hinking?
I dr op my head int o my hand. Dammit. Blake doesnt know
I slept wit h her . He was t oo busy inspect ing t he t onsils of t hat
r edhead when I left t he club.
Jonah. Blake saunt er s up, a gir l under each ar m. You
r emember Selena. He mot ions wit h his chin t o t he gir l wit h
unnat ur ally br ight r ed hair . And Candy . He mot ions t o t he
blonde.
Her name is Candy . Ty pical.
And t his lov ely lady her e is Fiona. He mot ions t o t he
dar k-hair ed gir l wit h gigant ic br east s shov ed int o a t iny t op.
Wont hav e t o wor r y about her sinking in t he pool.
Candy slides out fr om under Blakes ar m and st eps int o
my space. Too close. I st r aight en fr om my leaning st ance at
t he bar t o gain some dist ance.
Nice t o see y ou again, Jonah. Her v er y whit e t eet h dig
int o her plump lower lip. She finger walks her hand up my
chest t o wr ap it ar ound t he back of my neck. Her ot her hand
lies flat against my st omach.
Candy , get y our hands off me. I command in a low v oice
t o av oid making a scene in fr ont of Rav en.
Im gr at eful t o see her engaged in conv er sat ion wit h Ev e
and Nikki who joined t hem by t he pool.
Candy follows my gaze and sneer s in Rav ens dir ect ion.
Oh, I get it . She looks back at me and pulls her hand fr om
my neck, making sur e t o dr ag her long finger nails against
my skin. Fr esh meat . She looks back t o Rav en befor e
spinning on her high heel. Her shor t , t ight skir t looks mor e
like a belt as she swings her ass. Youll be back. Cant liv e on
SPAM for ev er .
Her sidekicks squeal wit h laught er , and I glar e at Blake.
He shakes his head and t hr ows his hands in t he air mout hing,
I didnt know.
Im not familiar wit h t he sick feeling t hat gnaws at my
insides. Fr om t he hat eful look Candy gav e Rav en, t her es no
way shell keep her mout h shut about our night t oget her . My
r eput at ion is no secr et , but hav ing it confir med is unset t ling.
It shouldnt mat t er because I slept wit h Candy befor e I
knew Rav en, but t he t hought of Rav en knowing t he int imat e
det ails of my sexual hist or y makes me insecur e. I want her t o
see me as wor t hy . And sleeping ar ound, especially t o t he
daught er of a pr ost it ut e, doesnt say ideal boy fr iend mat er ial.
Is t hat what I want ? To be her boy fr iend?
It s on t his ey e-bulging t hought t hat Nikki walks up wit h
Rav en and Ev e flanking her .
Blake, I see y ouv e br ought t he ent er t ainment . Nikkis
smile is t he far t hest t hing fr om fr iendly .
Oh, come on, Nik. Dont hat e t he play er ; hat e t he game.
Blake laughs and t he t ension r ippling off Nikki int ensifies.
Rav en and Ev e, ey es wide as saucer s, look back and for t h
bet ween t he t wo.
Owen st ands fr om his bar st ool and gr abs his wife by t he
hand. Nik, baby . Inside. Now.
She allows her self t o be led away , but maint ains a deat h
glar e on t he st r ipper s unt il shes out of sight .
Blakes ey es follow Nikki int o t he house befor e he set s his
sight s on Rav en and Ev e. He pushes past his dat es. And who
do we hav e her e? His cocky -ass smile has t he gir ls giggling.
Fucking Blake.
I giv e a quick gr owled int r oduct ion.
It s nice t o finally meet y ou. Rav en ext ends her hand
gr aciously . She mot ions t o me wit h t he hand t hat Blake is still
holding. Jonah ment ioned y ou t he ot her day .
My ey es bur n at t heir connect ion. I t r y t o figur e out a
way t o get him t o let her go wit hout br eaking her hand in t he
pr ocess.
Rav en. Why hav ent I met y ou befor e? Blakes gaze
leav es Rav en t o nar r ow on me.
Rav en shift s at my side. I spear Blake wit h a glar e. He get s
t he message and let s her go. Smart man.
Rav ens helping me wit h my Impala.
Blake t hr ows his head back, r oar ing wit h laught er . Rav en
st iffens at my side. I dr ape my ar m ov er her shoulder , and
she pr esses soft ly int o my hold. Her body feels so small and
delicat e under my ar m. The int imacy of her bar e shoulder
against my shir t less t or so has me gat her ing her deeper int o
my side. Her mild fr uit y scent combined wit h t he comfor t of
her body calms my ner v es. I r esist t he ur ge t o bur y my face
in her hair .
Dude, y ou hav e a smokin hot mechanic. What t he hell?
Hes back t o looking at Rav en, and as his ey es dance up and
down her body , I t hank God shes st ill in her cov er up. Giv es
a whole new meaning t o t he t er m body shop. His ey es set t le
on her legs. Nice legs, what t ime do t hey open?
Wat ch y our fuckin mout h. My jaw locks down. A
war m, familiar buzz st ir s in my head. My hand squeezes
Rav ens shoulder on r eflex.
Silence hangs t hick in t he air as ev er y one st ar es bet ween
Blake and me. Ev en t he St r ipper Sist er s hav e ceased t heir
obnoxious babbling.
Blake focuses on me, his ey ebr ows low and quest ioning.
A soft giggle br eaks t he silence. In unison, all ey es mov e t o
Rav en.
Thanks for t he compliment , Blake. Rav en r olls her lips
bet ween her t eet h, her face r ed wit h wit hheld laught er .
The buzz in my head r et r eat s.
Jonah didnt t ell me y ou wer e so funny . She loses t he
bat t le, a bur st of laught er escaping her lips. The melodic
sound fur t her calms my t emper .
Small t alk er upt s all ar ound me, but I dont hear a wor d.
Im st uck analy zing what t he hell just came ov er me. I nev er
get possessiv e ov er gir ls. I was half a second away fr om giv ing
my best fr iend a beat down.
Rav en and Ev e go back t o t he lounger , and I t hr ow Blake a
chin lift . He r esponds in t r ue Blake for m, cocky smile and t he
middle finger salut e.
The St r ipper Sist er s saunt er t o one of t he lounging ar eas
and whisper back and for t h t o each ot her . I r elax seeing
t hey v e decided t o sit on t he opposit e side of t he pool fr om
Rav en and Ev e who ar e back t o t heir lounger s by t he bar .
Damn, I need a beer .
I walk behind t he bar wher e t he guy s ar e camped out in
fr ont of t he t elev ision.
What t he hell was t hat about ? Blake shov es a handful of
popcor n in his mout h.
I shake my head. I dont know.
You almost flipped t he swit ch on y our boy for spewing
t he kind of shit he say s t o ev er y gir l he meet s. Rex laughs
and r ubs t he back of his neck. One mor e wor d and Id hav e
been pulling y our ass off him.
I nod and gr ab a beer . No doubt in my mind I would hav e
beat en Blake for disr espect ing Rav en.
Nev er t hought Id see it . Owens back fr om set t ling
down his wife and caught up on r ecent ev ent s. You got it
bad, my man.
Dr ess r emov ed, Im st ar ing at a bikini-clad Rav en. Shes
not cov er ing or sucking in her st omach. No bashful body
language t hat would expose her insecur it ies. Her oliv e skin
glist ens in t he sun as she laughs and t alks wit h Nikki and Ev e.
She looks so nat ur al and at ease in her own skin in my
backy ar d, hanging out wit h my fr iends, as if shes been doing
it for y ear s.
Hey , Jonah. Owen calls my at t ent ion away fr om t he
gir ls. Shes one fine piece of a
A gr owl r umbles deep in my chest .
The guy s explode int o laught er .
Owen smacks me on t he back. Yep, y our e hooked,
br ot her .
~*~
Raven
The mur mur ed v oices and r hy t hmic t humping of r ap
music lull me int o semiconsciousness. I close my ey es and
r elax, soaking up t he last war mt h fr om t he sun befor e it dr ops
behind t he mount ains. Male laught er er upt s. I t ur n and
wat ch Jonah wit h his fr iends, his dimples highlight ing his
br ight smile. I slide my sunglasses down my nose for a bet t er
look. Hes st opped laughing, but st ill smiling as he engages
Owen.
I t r ack his mov ement s while he walks ar ound t he bar t o
sit on a bar st ool. His back muscles flex power fully , as he
br ings his dr ink t o his mout h. Br ight ly color ed t at t oos
decor at e his ar ms fr om his wr ist s t o his shoulder s wit h one
flowing ov er and ont o his chest . I want t o get a closer look,
r un my hands along his ar ms as I st udy his body ar t . I
wonder if his skin is as soft as it looks. If it t ast es like he smells.
Cit r us and spice.
This place is sick, Rav e.
I jump at t he sound of Ev es v oice. Shov ing my sunglasses
up my nose, I pat my cheeks t o br ing down t he heat . Ev e is on
t he lounger wit h me, a gossip magazine r est ing against her
t highs.
Yeah. I clear t he lust y sound fr om my t hr oat . Im
alway s in t he gar age. I didnt know all t his was back her e.
I scan my sur r oundings. The moder n out door kit chen and
bar , flat -scr een TV, lagoon-st y le pool wit h Jacuzzi, and a fir e
pit . But t he best par t s of t he backy ar d ar e t he lounger s.
They r e made for t wo, complet e wit h lar ge queen-sized
mat t r esses and out door pillows.
When y ou guy s make it official, y ou hav e t o hav e me
ov er like a lot . Ev e looks at me ov er t he t ops of her
sunglasses wit h a smile light ing her face.
My ey ebr ows pull t oget her . Make it official?
Yeah, y ou know, admit y ou dig each ot her . She shr ugs
befor e licking her finger and t ur ning anot her page.
What ev er .
It s all I can say t hr ough t he full-on gr in Im spor t ing. As
much as I wish I didnt , I feel somet hing for him. What gir l
wouldnt ?
Ev en t he women Blake br ought seem t o fall int o a t r ance
when Jonahs ar oundnot t hat I blame t hem. A swell of
nausea t hr eat ens at t he t hought of Jonah wit h a gir l like
t hat . Their huge, clear ly medically enhanced, br east s and
lips push up and out for any ones at t ent ion.
What s going on ov er her e, baby gir l? Blake plops down
at my hip.
Ther e is somet hing about t his guy t hat goes bey ond his
super -hot , bad-boy , fight er good looks. That alone would make
any gir l fidget y . His light br own hair is buzzed shor t ,
dr awing all t he at t ent ion t o his br ight gr een ey es. His looks
alone ar e enough t o leav e a t r ail of br oken hear t s in his wake.
But it s his composur e, a slight expr ession he wear s, t hat
makes him danger ous, like his ey es hide a dir t y secr et he
masks wit h a fr iendly smile.
If I flip a coin, what ar e t he chances Ill get head?
Ev e t ur ns t o Blake, her jaw wide open, and closes her
magazine wit h a smack.
Eww, Blake. That s gr oss, I say t hr ough a fit of giggles.
Please t ell me t hat doesnt act ually wor k on gir ls.
You see how many dat es I hav e at t his bar beque. What
do y ou t hink? He t ur ns his at t ent ion t o Ev e. How about
y ou, Bar bie? You up for a game of naked leap fr og?
Ugh! Im going t o get a dr ink. Rav e, y ou want
any t hing?
No t hanks.
Ev e get s up, and Blake is not shy about wat ching her but t
unt il she disappear s behind t he bar .
Is it somet hing I said? His cr ooked smile t ells me he likes
making gir ls uncomfor t able.
The fact t hat he can t alk t o women like t hat and st ill get
dat es is a t est ament t o how incr edibly at t r act iv e he is.
I cat ch Jonah at t he bar fr om t he cor ner of my ey e. Hes
wat ching Blake and me, t he weight of his st ar e makes me
shift in my seat . I dont want a r epeat of what happened
ear lier .
Shouldnt y ou be get t ing back t o y our dat es? I dont want
t o get y ou in t r ouble.
Blake looks t o t he gir ls, but quickly dismisses my concer ns
wit h a wav e of his hand. Nah, t hey r e cool. And if t hey r e
not , fuck em. Blake r ubs his hand back and for t h a few t imes
on his buzzed head. Tur ning his head slight ly , he fixes his
cocky half smile on me. You int o my boy ? he asks
cr y pt ically .
I pr op my self up on my elbows. Huh?
Leaning for war d, he looks me in t he ey es. Jonah t r ied t o
t ake my head off back t her e. You want t o know how oft en Iv e
seen him do t hat when I put t he mov es on a gir l, ev en a gir l
hes going home wit h?
How many ?
He makes a cir cle wit h his finger and t humb. Zilch.
Nev er .
I st ar e at Blake, t r y ing t o figur e out exact ly what hes
t elling me and hoping like heck I dont misunder st and.
Wer e just fr iends. Thankfully , Im wear ing sunglasses
so he cant see my ey es bet r ay ing my wor ds.
Just fr iends, huh? He r ubs his chin t hen shr ugs.
Per fect . Ill see if a couple of my dat es want t o hang wit h
Jonah t onight aft er t he bar beque. He br aces his hands on his
knees t o st and.
No. Wait . Reflexes hav e me gr abbing his ar m. My
hear t beat t hr obs wit h panic.
He looks at me. You got somet hing y ou wanna say , baby
gir l?
I like Jonah.
The wor ds ar e t her e, but I cant br ing my self t o say t hem.
What if he doesnt feel t he same way ? I wont be able t o wor k
wit h him aft er suffer ing t hat kind of embar r assment . Put t ing
my self out t her e like No, I need t o keep my feelings pr iv at e.
His fr iendship means t oo much t o me. And r eally , what kind
of chance do I hav e wit h a guy like Jonah Slade?
Yeah, I just want ed t o say I let go of Blakes ar m and
lean back on my lounger . Go ahead. Jonahs fr ee t o dat e, er ,
um, be wit h whoev er he want s. Gosh, that hurt.
Blake st udies me for a second befor e leaning in. Jonahs a
lot of t hings. He looks ar ound t he pool t hen back at me befor e
sliding his sunglasses ov er his ey es. But fr om what Iv e seen
t onight , hes not fr eeat least , not any mor e.
He st r ut s away , act ing complet ely unawar e of t he shock-
and-awe dev ast at ion he left behind. Rav en, a lit t le lat er we
can play Tit anic, he calls ov er his shoulder . Ill y ell ice bur g
and y ou can go down.
A laugh r ips fr om my chest , fueled by giddiness fr om
Blakes admission.
Hes not fr ee not any mor e.
Could Blake be r ight ? Is it possible t hat Jonah could be
feeling t he same t hing Im feeling?
Ev e comes back fr om t he bar and sit s at t he spot Blake just
v acat ed. Finally , hes gone. Hes a sweet piece of ey e candy ,
but t he second he opens his mout h She shakes her head
and t akes a sip fr om her wat er bot t le. Why do y ou t hink hes
so funny ? She point s her gr imace in Blakes dir ect ion.
I t hink hes hilar ious.
I lie back, a face-split t ing smile aching my cheeks t hat
has not hing t o do wit h Blake.
Seven
Raven
My woman can cook, Owen bellows fr om t he door way of
t he kit chen as he br ings in a st ack of dir t y and v er y empt y
plat es.
Nikki t akes t he plat es fr om his hands and kisses him
light ly on t he cheek. Thank y ou, baby . Now get out of her e
befor e I put y ou t o wor k.
These t wo look like a famous Holly wood couple. Owen has
deep mocha skin and shor t cr opped hair . His body is similar t o
t he ot her s: at hlet ic, bulky , and t he per fect mix of capt iv at ing
and t er r ify ing. His r ugged masculinit y is a cont r ast t o his
wifes car amel-color ed skin, soft cur v es, and long, wav y hair .
He giv es her a play ful swat on t he bot t om, making her squeak
and jump, her light br own ey es spar kling.
She dr ops t he plat es in t he soapy wat er . Thanks for
helping me clean up, gir l. Im usually t he only ot her female
ar ound t hat does mor e t han st ick my t it s out . She r olls her
ey es at t he obv ious r efer ence t o t he women Blake br ought
wit h him.
It s t he least I could do. That was one of t he best meals
Iv e had in a long t ime. Your e an incr edible cook. I r inse out
a huge bowl t hat once held a delicious fr uit salad.
Thanks. I get a lot of pr act ice hanging ar ound t his
gr oup.
That doesnt sur pr ise me. The guy s alone at e enough t o
feed a small count r y . I t hink Jonah gr illed an ent ir e cow.
Nikki, wher e do y ou want me t o put t hese? Ev e asks
fr om t he door way , her ar ms filled wit h mor e plat es.
Jonah follows behind her , a few bot t les of condiment s in
hand. He walks t o t he fr idge t o put t hem away .
My gaze is solder ed t o his for m, and I near ly slice open my
finger wit h a soapy st eak knife. It shouldnt be legal for him t o
walk ar ound wit hout a shir t on. Reckless endanger ment .
You gir ls dont hav e t o do t his. My cleaning lady comes
in t he mor ning.
Like dealing wit h y our dir t y dr awer s isnt enough,
y our e going t o make t hat poor woman clean up aft er t he fiv e
of y ou? Uh-uh. Nikki t ur ns Jonah ar ound and shoos him
fr om t he r oom.
All r ight , all r ight , Ill go. He wr aps Nikki in a one-ar m
hug.
She leans in wit h a gr in.
His ey es find mine. But , Nik, dont wor k my gir l t oo
har d. She needs t o t ake car e of t hose hands. Cant hav e t ools
sliding fr om her gr ip because y ou ov er wor ked t hem. He hit s
me wit h a wink and walks away .
Nikki chuckles. Damn, gir l. Hes spr ung.
Ev e snicker s in t he cor ner , st acking clean dishes t o t he
side.
I cant believ e he just called me his gir l! And somet hing
about t he way he t alked about t ools sliding in my hand. Sur e,
it sounded like simple shop t alk, but t he way he held my ey es
made me feel like he was as if her wer e t alking about using
my hands for somet hing ent ir ely differ ent . Fir st Blake and
now Nikki. Could t hey be r ight ? They v e known Jonah a lot
longer t han I hav e. Is it possible t hat he could be feeling
somet hing? For me?
I r ushed t hr ough t he r est of t he dishes, anxious t o get back
t o Jonah. The kit chen is spot less in r ecor d t ime.
Well, gir ls. Nikki wipes her hands on a disht owel befor e
hanging it per fect ly on t he r ack. I t hink wev e just ear ned
our selv es a lit t le hot -t ub t ime.
Minut es lat er , Im submer ged in liquid heav en. I lean my
head back as t he war m bubbles car ess my body . Ev er y one
ar ound is eit her in t he wat er or sit t ing on t he edge, dangling
in t heir legs. Conv er sat ion hums ar ound me. Relaxing, I
allow my ey es t o slide shut , a soft moan dr ift ing fr om my lips.
t hen t ell her t o swallow. Blakes punch line has me
giggling despit e t he fact t hat I didnt hear t he joke.
Ev es r esponding snor t dr ags me fr om my r elaxed st at e
and has me laughing har der .
Feeling ey es on me, I t ur n my head away fr om Ev e and
Blake. My laught er dies inst ant ly .
The car nal st ar e fr om Jonahs ey es has me mesmer ized.
Im unable t o look away fr om t he smolder ing hazel. My blood
heat s and pounds in my ear s. A y ear ning, deep and delicious,
st ir s in my belly . The int ensit y making it har d t o br eat h, my
chest r ises and falls er r at ically . He t ilt s his head as his ey es
t r av el fr om my face t o my br east s and back again. I suck my
bot t om lip int o my mout h, and my mind conjur es images of
him coming at me fr om acr oss t he war m wat er . I squir m.
Ill be r ight back, I mumble t o whoev er s list ening and
excuse my self fr om t he hot t ub.
I push up and swing a leg ov er t o jump out . A hiss sounds
fr om behind me, like someone sucking air t hr ough his t eet h. I
t ur n and find Jonah wit h an expr ession t hat looks like pain
mixed wit h somet hing new I cant name. What ev er it is
makes my st omach plummet and land low. Really low. I gr ab
my t owel and head for t he bat hr oom.
Locked inside, I flip t he t oilet seat closed and sit . What was
that? I fan my flaming cheeks. What t hat was, was hot . And it
had not hing t o do wit h t he wat er t emper at ur e. It s happening
mor e oft en: our ey es lock on each ot her , and t he wor ld ar ound
us fades away . But why ? I cant explain it , only t hat he must
feel some at t r act ion or God, what is wr ong wit h me?
I st ep t o t he mir r or and let down my hair , r unning my
finger s t hr ough t he t angles. This is cr azy . I hav e a major
cr ush on a UFL fight er who pr obably looks at me and sees
not hing mor e t han a scor e: a nav e gir l who will fall for his
char m and meet some need on a phy sical lev el. If t hat s t r ue,
why hasnt he made a mov e? What would I do if he did? My
lips cur l and my st omach flips.
Fed up wit h st ar ing at my goofy gr in, I wr ap my t owel
ar ound my waist t o head back t o t he par t y . I duck my chin t o
my chest as I push t hr ough t he door , hoping t o shake my
lov e-sick-puppy smile befor e I face Jonah.
Rav en, r ight ?
I jump at t he sound of a female v oice. The blond gir l who
came wit h Blake is st anding just out side t he bat hr oom. Her
ar ms ar e cr ossed at her chest as she glar es in my dir ect ion.
My smile fades. Yes?
She looks me up and down as if Im cov er ed in
cockr oaches. Her lips peel back in disgust . This feels so much
like high school. I cur l int o my self.
Im just t r y ing t o figur e out what Jonah would want
wit h a lit t le gr ease monkey like y ou. Her icy st ar e cont inues
t o scr ut inize me fr om bar e feet t o bikini t op. What ar e y ou?
Eight een? Do y ou r eally t hink a silly lit t le gir l like y ou could
sat isfy a man like him?
I jer k fr om t he t r ut h in her st at ement .
The wor ds he s just a friend it ch at t he back of my t hr oat .
Somet hing t ells me wer e mor e t han t hat , but uncer t aint y
seals my lips.
But shes r ight . Im inexper ienced and y oung. Men want
women who ar e confident and know how t o please t hem. My
shoulder s sink as I consider all t he way s Im not good enough
for Jonah. May be shes r ight and Iv e been misr eading t hings.
Jonah and I Wer e just fr iends. You want him, hes
y our s. My v oice is dull, and my hear t sinks like a lead
balloon.
I push past her wit h ev er y int ent ion of get t ing as far
away as I can befor e I do somet hing st upid, like cr y . A fir m
gr ip on my elbow halt s my get away . In shock, I lean away
fr om t he blonde, who is sneer ing inches away fr om my face.
Want him? She flashes a hear t less smile t hat t ells me
shes going t o enjoy what ev er shes about t o say . Iv e had
him. He fucked my br ains out last week.
I t ur n my face away , t r y ing t o escape t he v ulgar it y of her
wor ds.
Yeah, t hat s r ight . And he scr eamed my name, begging
me for mor e. She leans in so close I can smell t he liquor on
her br eat h. He said I had t he sweet est pussy hes ev er
t ast ed.
My ey es bur n, t ear s t hr eat ening t o spill.
Keep y our filt hy fucking hands off of him. He doesnt
want y ou. Your e not hing but a wor t hless piece of whit e
t r ash, and he
Who t he fuck do y ou t hink y ou ar e?
An enr aged male v oice br eaks her concent r at ion. In
unison, we t ur n t owar d t he sour ce.
Oh, cr ud.
Jonah. His name escapes on a whisper .
His jaw is t ense and t icking, his fist s balled at his sides.
The fier ceness in his st ar e is t er r ify ing, and it s not dir ect ed at
me.
Get t he hell out of my house, he spit s out t hr ough
clenched t eet h while glar ing at Candy .
Jonah, honey , I dont know what y ou t hought y ou
hear d. Like a sneaky lit t le v iper , she t r ies t o backpedal. We
wer e just hav ing a lit t le gir l t alk. She r eleases her hold on
me and br ushes my hair ov er my shoulder .
Jonahs ey es dar t t o mine t hen mov e back t o glar e at
Candy . Out . Now. His v oice t r embles wit h r age.
Candy lift s her head and squar es her shoulder s. Lit hely ,
she mov es past Jonah, st opping t o look him in t he ey e. Your e
r eally going t o pass t his up? She looks down at me fr om ov er
her shoulder . For that?
Her r efer ence t o me being an object r at her t han a per son
has me st udy ing t he concr et e at my feet .
Jonah gr umbles a r eply I cant make out . What ev er he
said makes Candy finch befor e she st r ut s away .
My hear t is beat ing out of my chest . I peer at Jonah fr om
behind my hair . His head falls for war d, hands r est ing on his
hips. I hear t he sound of him br eat hing deep and blowing air
fr om his mout h as if he wer e t r y ing t o calm down.
He looks up at me, concer n et ched on his face. You
okay ?
Yes. Im unable t o cont r ol t he quiv er in my v oice.
He st eps t o me and int er laces his finger s wit h mine.
Come on.
He leads me int o t he bat hr oom and locks t he door behind
us. Releasing my hand, he leans against t he door . My ar ms
wr ap pr ot ect iv ely ar ound my body in an at t empt t o hold
my self t oget her . His face is mor e r elaxed, but his ey es ar e st ill
angr y .
Rav en, I owe y ou an apology .
I st umble back a st ep. An apology ? I wasnt expect ing
t hat . No, Jonah y ou dont owe me
I slept wit h Candy .
My body st ills along wit h my wor ds. I close my gaping
mout h, sur pr ised at his honest y . Um, I know t hat .
He shift s on his feet and r ubs t he back of his neck. I slept
wit h her . He t akes a deep br eat h. Why is t his so har d? He
mumbles t o t he floor befor e his ey es meet mine. I slept wit h
her a week ago.
This, t oo, I alr eady knew because of Candy s less t han
lady like admission. Okay .
Is t hat all I can say ? Okay ?
I didnt inv it e her her e. Im not int er est ed in her . His
ey es st udy my face for a few silent seconds.
Jonah, y ou dont need t o explain
Ther es somet hing else. He t akes a st ep t owar d me.
I pull in a lar ge br eat h t hr ough my nose and blow out my
mout h. Can I handle his somet hing else? I nod.
I cant st op t hinking about y ou.
Yes, I can handle t hat .
My cheeks hur t as I wr est le against an embar r assing gr in.
Okay .
He t akes anot her st ep in my dir ect ion. Your e unlike
any one Iv e ev er met .
My br eat hing picks up, my hear t pounds, and somet hing
begins t o unfur l and flut t er in my chest . Okay .
I want t o be wit h y ou.
Is t his r eally fr eaking happening?
Okay .
He closes t he final few feet bet ween us. His ar ms sur r ound
my waist and lock at my lower back, for cing my hands t o his
bar e chest . The heat fr om his skin ignit es a fir e in my palms
t hat shoot s down my spine and awakens my senses. The
gent le r ise and fall of his br eat h, t he r hy t hmic beat of his
hear t , all magnified. My bikini-clad br east s br ush against his
r ib cage. The fr ict ion makes me shiv er in his ar ms.
He slides his hands up my back, t r ailing his finger s acr oss
my skin. Goose bumps skat e acr oss my flesh. A br ight smile
light s his face at my r esponse t o his t ouch. His ey es become
hooded. His hands r est against eit her side of my neck,
r ubbing my jaw wit h slow swipes of his t humbs. I wat ch in
amazement as his ey es t r av el fr om my ey es t o my lips befor e
t hey dr op t o t he side of my neck.
Iv e want ed t o do t his since t he fir st day I met y ou.
Bending for war d, he br ings his lips just a br eat h away
fr om mine. I lean in and close my ey es, expect ing t o feel t he
war mt h of his mout h. He uses his hold t o t ip my chin down
and kiss my for ehead. I sigh and melt int o t he t ender ness of
his t ouch.
Gent ly , he r uns his nose down my hair line t o my ear .
Mmm, y ou smell so good.
My finger s flex against his fir m chest at t he husky sound
in his v oice. A second chill r aces t hr ough my body . Heat
floods my sy st em. I welcome ev er y new feeling, ev er y fr agile
emot ion t hat cour ses t hr ough me.
He makes a fist in my hair and t ilt s my head. The soft
heat of his lips br ushes against my ear lobe t hen my neck,
t r ailing kisses t o my shoulder . He linger s t her e, licking and
nipping wit h his t eet h. The abr asiv e st ubble of his chin
against my collar bone elect r ifies my body . I pr ess my aching
br east s int o him as my bones liquefy beneat h his t ouch. His
har d, st r ong body accept s my weight , and a moan t umbles
fr om my t hr oat .
I feel him smile against my skin. You like t hat , baby ?
He called me baby! Im t hankful he cant see my ey es as
t hey st ar e at t he ceiling, wide in shock.
The silky moist ur e fr om his open-mout h kisses at my neck
hav e my ey elids falling shut . Sweet , just like I knew y oud
be. His br eat h t ickles my skin.
Somet hing coils deep inside, a damn on t he v er ge of
collapsing. Jonah My mind scr ambles wit h how t o
communicat e ev er y t hing I want fr om him r ight now. His lips
on mine, t he weight of his body , his hands
He places a final kiss against my neck and pulls his head
up. My ey elids, suddenly heav y , fight t o st ay open. My body
t r embles wit h a r aw need Iv e nev er felt befor e. And our lips
hav ent ev en t ouched.
I want t o t ake y ou inside, he whisper s, t hr ough a dar k,
sexy smile.
Okay .
Send Ev e home. Your e st ay ing wit h me t onight .
His pr oposit ion douses t he fir e r aging in my body .
You want me t o spend t he night ? Panic cr eeps in.
His lips cur v e at t he ends. Yeah, y ou can bor r ow
somet hing t o sleep in.
I t r y t o t hink of somet hing logical, some r eason why I
cant spend t he night , but wit h his hands r unning up and
down my back, it s har d t o concent r at e. How can I say no?
Jonah Slade asks for a sleepov er , t he answer is alway s y es. It s
in t he female handbook. She say s no, she get s her
member ship r ev oked, r ight ? If not , she should.
Okay .
The cor ner s of his mout h t wit ch. Rav en, y ou got t a giv e
me somet hing besides okay .
Her e he just confessed t o hav ing feelings for me and asked
me t o spend t he night , and he want s somet hing besides okay ?
My br ain is on ov er load, not t o ment ion t he ot her par t s of my
body t hat hav e just woken up for t he fir st t ime in well,
for ev er . They may ev en shor t cir cuit if he get s any wher e
near t hem wit h t hat skilled mout h of his. I laugh inwar dly at
t he t hought of Jonahs v ast exper ience wit h women compar ed
t o my complet e lack of exper ience wit h men.
Oh, no.
I cant hav e sex wit h y ou. I blur t out t he wor ds, my
hand cov er ing my mout h t oo lat e.
Im an idiot .
His ey es light up, dancing wit h laught er , making my
idiocy t ot ally wor t h it .
That s all r ight . Im not asking y ou t o st ay ov er so I can
hav e sex wit h y ou. He lift s one ey ebr ow and giv es me a one-
dimpled gr in. Can we make out ?
Heat bur st s against my cheeks and floods down my neck. I
bur y my face against his chest t o hide my embar r assment .
Okay .
He t hr ows his head back and laughs while holding me t o
him. Inst ant ly , his t ouch calms my ner v es and my lungs
t ake in a full br eat h. His war m skin smells like coconut
sunblock mixed wit h his usual masculine spice. I r elax deeper
int o his hold.
Jonah?
Hmm?
I like y ou t oo.
He pulls back just enough t o see my face, det er minat ion
flashing in his ey es. He leans down and, knowing what hes
aft er , I lift up on my t oes. Our lips t ouch for t he fir st t ime in a
soft car ess. Iv e wonder ed what it would be like t o kiss Jonah,
and ev en my best fant asies wer ent t his good.
His full, st r ong lips mold t o mine. A slow sweep of his
t ongue has me opening t o him. What st ar t ed off t easing t ur ns
hot and ur gent as he pulls my lower lip wit h his t eet h,
coaxing my t ongue t o explor e. His hands gr ab at my hair and
mine wr ap ar ound his biceps.
The kiss t ur ns demanding as he possesses my mout h. His
muscles flex against my palms. I st r uggle t o keep my self on
my t oes, his exper t mout h making my legs complet ely
useless. I slide back down on flat feet , dr agging my br east s
down his chest as I go. He r eleases his hold on my hair and
cups my bot t om wit h his hands, pulling me against him.
My gosh, t hat feels good.
Wit h what seems like gr eat effor t , he ends t he kiss, gent ly
nibbling and t ast ing my lower lip. His hands giv e me a
squeeze befor e sliding up and r est ing on my lower back. He
bends down and pr esses one last kiss on my neck befor e
looking int o my ey es.
Amazing. In t his moment , aft er t hat kiss, hes no longer
Jonah The Assassin Slade, celebr it y bad-boy . Looking at
him now, hes just Jonah.
Dont wor r y about t onight . His wor ds ar e said in a way
t hat makes me feel like I might be mor e t o him t han a hook
up. Id nev er push y ou fur t her t han y our e willing t o go.
My st omach t wist s wit h anxiet y . He has no idea.
Eight
Jonah
Aft er my t alk wit h Rav en in t he bat hr oom, I hav e one
object iv eget t hese people out of my house. Pr ont o. Wit h t he
t ast e of her st ill on my lips, I let t he guy s know t hat t he par t y
is ov er .
It s just past t en as I wav e off t he last of my fr iends. I
wat ch fr om t he fr ont por ch as Rav en say s good-by e t o Ev e.
The pat io light illuminat es her face as she laughs har d at
somet hing Ev e must hav e said.
Damn, she s gorgeous. I alway s knew she was beaut iful,
but get t ing her alone in t hat bat hr oom, her body t r embling
in my ar ms, her br eat hy moans, and flushed cheeks. Perfect.
And t hat kiss. Im not big on kissing, nev er hav e been. But
Rav ens sweet lips, so t ent at iv e at fir st , only t o t ur n gr eedy
and demandinga few mor e minut es of t hat and Id pr obably
bust in my shor t s like a t eenage boy .
She walks t owar d me, her backpack slung ov er one
shoulder , Ev es t aillight s disappear ing down t he dr iv eway .
Come her e. I br ush her hair aside and lean in. Befor e
Im t her e, she t ilt s her head, offer ing her t hr oat t o me.
Fucking perfect. I hone in on my spot : t he blackbir ds wing
t hat peeks at t he base of her neck. Fir st , a quick pr ess of my
lips, t hen I par t my mout h t o t ast e her t ender flesh. She hums
low in her t hr oat and leans int o me.
I like y our t at t oo. My v oice against her neck makes her
t o shiv er .
I like y our s t oo.
I for ce my self back a st ep. Ev er y t hing okay wit h y our
gir l?
Yes, shes happy Im st ay ing her e. She hat es my place,
t hinks it s not safe. She picks at t he fr ay ed st r ap of her
backpack.
Why is y our place not safe?
She looks up at me and r olls her ey es. I liv e in a st udio
apar t ment .
Okay . That doesnt sound so bad.
Wher e?
She blows out a long, defeat ed-sounding br eat h. Right by
t he gar age.
She shift s on her feet , and I know shes holding somet hing
back. I t ilt my head and wait . Her ey es gr ow a fr act ion. That s
right, sweetheart. I m on to you.
Well, act ually
Im list ening.
I liv e abov e t he gar age. Shes back t o picking at her
backpack st r ap.
Nope. I must v e hear d t hat wr ong. You liv e abov e Guy s
Gar age?
She nods.
A wav e of anxiet y floods my body . Rav en, t her es
not hing ov er t her e but war ehouses and v agr ant s. Ther es not
a decent human being wit hin a t en-mile r adius aft er business
hour s.
Thinking of her all alone at night in t hat par t of t own
makes my muscles t ense. My mind imagines all t he t hings
t hat could happen t o an innocent gir l in t hat par t of t own
aft er hour s. The alley behind t he gar age is a fest er ing cr ime
spot . Ther es pr obably all manner of piece-of-shit lowlifes
lur king in t he shadows. Ill nev er be able t o sleep knowing
shes ov er t her e alone. No.
Fr om now on, y ou st ay her e wit h me, I blur t .
Her ey es flash in shock and her lips par t .
I just t ook t his t oo far .
What did y ou say ? Her v oice is bar ely a whisper .
I r un my hands t hr ough my hair , t r y ing t o figur e out
what t he hell is going on in my head. Im hav ing a har d t ime
believ ing my own wor ds. Did I just ask her t o mov e in wit h
me? I want t his gir l, mor e t han Iv e want ed any ot her gir l.
Ther es no deny ing t hat . The pr ot ect iv e inst inct st ir s in my
chest , somet hing Iv e nev er felt for any woman out side of my
mom and sist er .
You hear d me.
Jonah, Im not st ay ing wit h y ou ev er y night . That s
absur d. You bar ely know me. I mean She st udies me, and I
cant help but t hink how her confused and shocked expr ession
adds a cut eness t o her alr eady gor geous face.
I just want t o keep y ou safe, and I cant do t hat if y ou
ar ent wit h me. I t ake a deep, st eady ing br eat h. That felt
okay . Not awkwar d, like I t hought it would. Besides, y ou
wor k on t he Impala most mor nings. It ll sav e on gas money .
It s a st r et ch, but Im desper at ealso a new feeling for me.
That s r eally sweet of y ou, b-but I cant . Her expr ession
r elaxes, and she put s her hands on her hips. I hav e t o feed
Dog.
This is int er est ing. I cant t hink of a single gir l, not one,
who would ar gue wit h me at my offer t o hav e t hem sleep in
my bed. And did she say she has a dog?
Dog?
Yes. Dog. Her shoulder s squar e off and she lift s her chin.
She t hinks somet hing like hav ing t o feed her dog is going
discour age me? She needs t o get t o know me bet t er , which is
exact ly what I plan on doing once t his conv er sat ion is ov er .
Br ing y our dog. I shr ug.
Br ing my but I dont hav e a dog. Her for ehead
pinches bet ween her ey ebr ows, and I fight t he desir e t o kiss
t he skin smoot h.
Damn, she is r eally cut e.
You said y ou had t o feed y our dog.
Right , Dog. My cat . Well, not my cat . The cat t hat liv es
in t he alley .
I r oll my lips bet ween my t eet h t o keep fr om laughing.
Let me get t his st r aight . You feed an alley cat t hat y ouv e
named Dog, and t hat s why y ou cant st ay wit h me.
Exact ly . She t hr ows her hands out like shes just made
t he point of t he cent ur y .
I lose t he bat t le against my laught er and near ly double
ov er wit h it . Your e, wit hout a doubt , t he most amusing gir l
Iv e ev er met , Rav en uh Im not going t hr ough t his
again. What s y our last name?
Her expr ession falls and her face goes pale. What did I say?
She r olls her bot t om lip int o her mout h, r aking it acr oss her
t eet h. My laught er dies and inst inct iv ely I pull her int o my
ar ms.
Baby ? You okay ?
She exhales and wr aps her hands ar ound my waist . Im
fine. You just caught me off guar d. Her ar ms gr ow t ight as
she hugs me t o her . I guess y oull find out sooner or lat er .
What the hell? What could possibly be so bad about her last
name? I guess it could be Manson or Bundy .
Mor r et t i. My full name is Rav en Mor r et t i. Her wor ds ar e
dull and lifeless.
Mor r et t i? I look past her , squint ing int o t he dar kness.
Why does t hat nameHoly shit!
Dominick Mor r et t i. Las Vegass most infamous pimp. And
her moms a pr ost it ut e. It all makes sense.
Not only hav e I seen his mug all ov er t he news but Iv e
act ually met t he scumbag. Iv e seen him at all our fight s,
wor king his gir ls. He t r ied t o get us t o t hr ow down some cash
for a night wit h a Mor r et t i gir l.
Rav en looks not hing like him wit h her dar k hair and oliv e
skin, but t hose ey es. It s amazing I didnt make t he connect ion
befor e. The color is so unique, but , wher e her s ar e cool pools of
Car ibbean wat er , his ar e deat h by dr owning. My mom
alway s said, The ey es ar e t he windows t o y our soul, and
looking int o Dominick Mor r et t is ey es, it s pr et t y clear he aint
got one.
Jonah? Her ar ms gr ow impossibly t ight er ar ound my
waist .
Shes got t o know I know who her fat her is. Ev er y one in
t own knows who her fat her is. He not only r uns t he biggest
pr ost it ut ion r ing in t he st at e, allegedly , but he also owns half
t he r eal est at e in t own. And she lives in a studio above a
garage?
Yeah, baby . Let s get y ou inside.
I gr ab her hand and lead her int o t he house. Not let t ing
go, I lock t he door and t ake her t o t he couch. I sit down and
pull her ont o my lap. She st iffens and av oids my ey es.
Your dad is Dominick Mor r et t i.
Dr opping her for ehead, she simply nods.
I t ake a deep br eat h and look t o t he ceiling. I know him,
Rav en. I know y our dad
Hes not my dad. Her har sh glar e locks on mine befor e
her expr ession soft ens. I mean hes my biological fat her , but
hes not my dad. I dont hav e a dad.
I pull her t o me, and she nest les int o my chest , her ar ms
wr ap ar ound my waist .
Well, what ev er he is t o y ou, hes no good. I dont want
y ou ar ound him.
She laughs humor lessly . You dont hav e t o wor r y about
t hat . He hasnt want ed any t hing t o do wit h me in t went y
y ear s. I doubt he ev er will. Im pr et t y sur e what ev er
happened bet ween him and my mom was a mist ake y ou
know, me. Her final wor ds ar e bar ely audible as her v oice is
muffled in my chest .
Anger pushes it s way t hr ough my concer n for her . I place
my hand under chin and for ce her ey es t o mine. I cant see
y our life ev er being consider ed a mist ake.
Her sad smile r ips t hr ough me.
My par ent s nev er had a r elat ionship t hat I know of. Im
not close t o my mom, so shes nev er t old me, but it s pr et t y
obv ious t hey hav e not hing bey ond, um, a pr ofessional
r elat ionship.
Her br ight ey es look away for a second as she blows a piece
of long hair fr om her face. Any way , can we t alk about
somet hing else now?
Her full lips lift int o a smile t hat doesnt r each her ey es.
Im left wit h a million quest ions t umbling in my head, but I
dont want t o r uin t he night by br inging up painful memor ies
of her past .
Yes, we can. I st ar e at her lips, hungr y t o t ast e t hem
again. But t her es one t hing I need t o say befor e I can put t his
subject t o bed. Pr omise me y oull st ay away fr om Dominick
Mor r et t i.
That , I can pr omise. Her ey es mov e down my face and
set t le on my mout h.
I shov e bot h hands int o her hair and br ing her lips t o
mine. She eager ly complies, wr apping her hands behind my
neck and holding me close t o her . She t ilt s her head and our
t ongues slide t oget her . Her body shift s on my lap and I moan
my appr ov al. Just day s ago I t hought I could walk away fr om
her . And now, I dont want t o spend one night wit hout her .
~*~
Raven
The mar ble floor ing is cool under my bar e feet as I st and,
looking at my self in Jonahs bat hr oom mir r or . Somet hings
differ ent . I cant put my finger on what it is, but I know Iv e
nev er been able t o see my molar s befor e when I smile. I hav e
a ser ious case of t he per ma-gr ins.
I look down at t he cot t on t -shir t and sweat pant s ly ing
folded in my hands. It hit s me again, wit h no less int ensit y
t han befor e, t hat Im spending t he night wit h Jonah Slade.
Now my cheeks act ually hur t .
Checking out his dar k br own, gr anit e count er t op wit h
double sinks and mahogany cabinet r y , cur iosit y pushes at
me. I quest ion whet her or not t o snoop in his medicine
cabinet . I chew on my lip, st ar ing at t he my st er ious mir r or ed
door . Just one peek wont hur t .
I caut iously pull open t he door as if somet hing might
jump out at me: deodor ant , shav ing cr eam, r azor , all t he
t y pical man st uff. Gr abbing his cologne, I pr ess it t o my nose
and t ake a deep br eat h. My ey es almost r oll back in my head
at t he woodsy smell t hat his skin has hint ed at befor e. He
nev er smells coat ed in fr agr ance, mor e like an under ly ing
flav or t hat r uns beneat h his nat ur al scent .
Snooping complet e, I mov e t o close t he door when a gr ay
box cat ches my ey e. I squint and lean for war d t o r ead t he
label: condoms. Wow, ext r a-lar ge, lubr icat ed, jumbo pack. I
slam t he door shut and st ar e at my r eflect ion.
Well, what did y ou t hink y ou would find? I hiss t o
my self. You know his r eput at ion. I st and back and shr ug.
You need t o t ell him.
Hey Jonah, guess what ? Now t hat y ou know my moms a
hooker and my dads a pimp, I hav e one mor e bomb t o dr op on
y ou. The V-bomb. Sur ely if he can look past t he fir st t wo
bombs t hat last one should be no big deal. It s not as if Im not
open t o eliminat ing t he issue. Candy s wor ds come flooding
back. Stupid little girl.
I push t he feelings of unwor t hiness t o t he back of my
br ain and head for t he shower . St r ipping down, I hear my
inner four t een-y ear -old fan-gir l scr eaming, You re naked in
Jonah Slade s bathroom! Squee! Shes not wr ong, I t hink while
cov er ing my mout h t o st ifle my laught er .
St epping under t he wat er , I close my ey es t o enjoy t he
calming spr ay . Aft er a minut e or t wo, I gr ab Jonahs body
wash and t ake a deep br eat h. It smells like cit r us and spice
and man all mixed t oget her . I wash up slowly , t aking t he
t ime t o enjoy being cov er ed in his smell and not hing else.
While r insing my hair , I not ice just how differ ent our r ealit ies
ar e. He has a r ain shower head and mar ble t ile, and all my
shower boast s is mildew st ains and a slow-mov ing dr ain.
Aft er t owel dr y ing, I finger comb my hair and slide on a
fr esh pair of pant ies fr om my backpack. I pull Jonahs t -shir t
ov er my head. It s huge and hit s me just abov e t he knees. I
pull on t he wor n sweat pant s, and t hey slide back down my
legs. Fr owning, I pull t hem back up and r oll t he t op in an
at t empt t o t ight en t hem. St ill t oo big. The shir t cov er s
enough, so I dit ch t he pant s.
Slipping out fr om t he bat hr oom int o Jonahs r oom, Im
met wit h a v ision t hat has me locked in place. Hes shir t less
wit h his back against t he headboar d. His nav y blue pajama
pant -cov er ed legs ar e cr ossed at t he ankles, and t he r emot e is
in his hand. He exudes casual confidence.
My ey es consume his body fr om his color ful ar ms t o his
bulging chest and set t le on his face. Hes st ar ing at me wit h a
hunger t hat char ges t he air bet ween us.
Hi.
Hi. His ey es nar r ow on my bar e legs.
The pant s wer e t oo big. I t ug at t he hem of t he shir t .
Silence.
So, I decided t he shir t would be long enough.
St ill silence.
I t hought it cov er ed as much as a dr ess would, so
You look amazing in my shir t . I shift uncomfor t ably at
t he gr av ely sound in his v oice. Your e safe wit h me.
I let his wor ds wash ov er me as my shoulder s r elax and I
t ake a deep br eat h.
You want t o wat ch some TV? He giv es me a one-dimpled
smile t hat sucks t he br eat h fr om my lungs.
For cing my gaze t o his enor mous t elev ision t hat hangs on
t he wall, I st ep closer t o see what hes wat ching. Sur e. What
I gasp and r ace t owar d it , st opping only a foot away fr om
t he scr een.
Rav en
That s Chip Foose! I point at t he scr een while looking
back at Jonah who is smiling huge. Iv e r ead about t his show
in Car and Driver Magazine. It s called Ov er haulin. They t ake
old car s fr om people The sound of Chip Fooses v oice calls
my at t ent ion back t o t he show. 5 7 Chev y , Bel Air , t wo door ,
har dt op, I mumble t o my self, capt iv at ed by aut omot iv e
br illiance.
A pair of st r ong ar ms wr ap ar ound my waist . Come back
and sit on t he bed, baby . You can wat ch it fr om t her e. A hint
of humor laces his wor ds.
Flaming embar r assment . Her e I get t he chance t o be in
bed wit h Jonah, and Im st uck t o a t elev ision scr een,
wat ching a r ealit y show about car s. How very sexy and
feminine of me.
He pulls me a few st eps backwar d t o t he bed. I dont t ake
my ey es off t he scr een as he hauls me t o t he headboar d,
t ucking me int o his side. My head against t o his chest , I slide
my hand ov er his bar e abs and bit e my t ongue t o keep fr om
Oooing. His hand mov es up my ar m and st ops t o t oy wit h my
hair . I sigh in cont ent ment , but quickly r emember t he heav y
weight I need t o get off my chest .
Jonah?
Hmm?
I need t o t alk t o y ou about somet hing.
He lift s t he r emot e, pr essing a but t on t hat fr eezes t he
scr een.
I know y our , um, r eput at ion. His body t ight ens beneat h
my cheek and his hand st ills in my hair . Nikki t old me t hat
y ouv e nev er had a gir l ov er . Is t hat t r ue? It s just , y ouv e
obv iously had y our fair shar e of, um, female companions, so I
assumed
Yes. It s t r ue. Your e t he fir st gir l Iv e had in my bed.
I t ake a deep br eat h and t r y not t o chicken out . Um
well, t her es somet hing y ou should know about me.
He doesnt say any t hing, and I cant see his face, but his
chest has st opped mov ing.
I squeeze my ey es shut and shov e t he wor ds out . Im a
v ir gin.
Holding my br eat h, I bit e my lip and await his r eact ion.
Im not a t ot al pr ude. I dat ed Billy Dr y er , and he was t he
most popular kid in school. We made out a few t imes unt il he
br oke up wit h me. Guess his par ent s t old him who my mom
was, so he t hought Id be easy . Ill nev er for get him t r y ing t o
pull my pant s down. When I r efused, he said he knew I was a
lesbian. A gir l wor king on car s all day had t o be gay . He
st or med off and left me t her e under t he bleacher s alone. I
decided Id r at her be a v ir gin lesbian t han t he slut daught er
of a pr ost it ut e.
Im t ossed fr om my t hought s by t he shaking of Jonahs
silent laught er , and my ey es pop open in sur pr ise.
Ar e y ou laughing?
His r eact ion t ur ns int o uncont r ollable hilar it y , not t he
r esponse I was expect ing.
I push my self up and t ake a minut e t o enjoy his dimples,
wide smile, and shining ey es. What s so funny ?
Rav en, he say s bet ween chuckles. You said y our self
Iv e nev er had a gir l ov er t o my house befor e. Yet , her e y ou
ar e, in my bed, wear ing my shir t , cuddled up in my ar ms.
He t ucks a piece of hair behind my ear . You dont get it , do
y ou?
My confused face confir ms t hat I, in fact , do not get it .
You, Rav en Mor r et t i, ar e mine. Doesnt mat t er if y our e a
v ir gin or an alien. What y ouv e t old me changes not hing.
Not . One. Thing.
St unned int o par aly sis, I let his wor ds t ake r oot .
Hows t hat possible? Wer e y ou not list ening when I t old
y ou my moms a hooker and my dads a pimp? Im
pr ocessing his r eact ion aloud and cant seem t o st op. Candy
was r ight . Im a gr ease monkey , and, consider ing what my
par ent s do for a liv ing, Im t r ash. Im inexper ienced, y oung,
and a v ir gin.
Good job, Rav en. Talk him out of liking y ou. Why dont
y ou go ahead and make him a list of all y our unlov able
qualit ies.
It happened so fast I bar ely r egist er ed t he mov ement .
Jonah hauled me up t he lengt h of his body and sat me face t o
face wit h him, st r addling his hips. My face dwar fed by his big
hands, he holds me unt il I meet his ey es.
Dont ev er speak about y our self like t hat again. His
deep, fir m command makes me dr op my ey es. Look at me,
Rav en. I do as Im t old. Your e unlike any one Iv e ev er
known. Your e kind, smar t , funny , gr acious hell, y ou ev en
laugh at Blakes jokes. I want you. And t hat includes
ev er y t hing t hat makes y ou who y ou ar e.
He want s me. This amazing, power ful, beaut iful man
want s me. Hav e I ev er felt want ed befor e? A lone t ear r olls
down my cheek. His wor ds ar e a war m blanket wr apped
ar ound my hear t . Leaning for war d, he br ushes his lips acr oss
t he cor ner s of my ey es.
Will he ev er under st and how much his wor ds mean t o
me? Iv e nev er felt impor t ant enough t o any one or good
enough t o deser v e t his kind of affect ion. Just day s ago, I felt a
fissur e in t he wall I had er ect ed ar ound my hear t . Wit h t hose
simple wor ds, he bust ed it down.
It s cr azy and it makes no sense, but t her es no doubt in
my mind. Im madly in lov e wit h Jonah Slade.
Nine
Jonah
I wake up wit h somet hing soft and war m pr essing against
t he lengt h of my body . My left ar m lies flat against t he bed,
t ingling, a sensat ion like t iny ant s t unneling t hr ough my
v eins. My r ight ar m is comfor t able and pr essed dir ect ly
against t he soft heat . Taking a deep br eat h, I smell t he faint
pear fr agr ance and smile. Raven.
So t his is what it feels like t o sleep wit h someone. Her back
pr essed t o my fr ont , I nest le my face int o t he silky wav es of
her hair and pull her body deeper int o mine. What t he h ? I
flex my hand against a heav y weight in my palm. The
feeling r egist er s, immediat ely making my body t ense.
Ah, hell.
Somet ime in t he night , I shov ed my hand up her shir t
and am now cupping her left br east . All I need is for her t o
wake up t o me per v ing out on her in her sleep. I slip my hand
slowly fr om her chest . My finger s skat e down t he soft skin of
her st omach and set t le t her e. Her legs slide against mine as I
dr aw lazy cir cles at her belly but t on.
She moans and pr esses her bot t om int o my gr oin in a t iny
st r et ch. I bit e back my gr oan at t he feel of her r ound ass
against my t hr obbing cr ot ch. I dont t hink Iv e ev er had a
har d-on for t his long.
Last night , aft er Rav en confessed her v ir ginit y , t her e was
no way I could make out wit h her . At least , not t he way I
want ed t o. The t ear s in her ey es as she r ipped her self apar t
v er bally sealed it for me. I needed her t o know t hat I r espect
her and t hat shes mor e t han a shallow one night . Wed kiss
dur ing commer cials, and at t imes I t hought I could hav e
got t en away wit h mor e, but last night was about get t ing her
t o see me differ ent ly . It was about get t ing her t o t r ust me
wit h mor e t han her painful family hist or y , wit h her body as
well. And t o do t hat , I had t o hold back my appet it e for her .
Way back.
Besides, holding her against my side wit h her head on my
chest while she wat ched Ov er haulin was ent er t aining as
hell. She went back and for t h bet ween mumbling t o her self
and giv ing me a det ailed hist or y of For d Mot or Company .
Shed t alk t o t he t elev ision, making her suggest ions as t o
what should be done, and made it clear when she disagr eed. I
enjoy ed wat ching her as much as I did t he show. And t he
show was cool as shit .
I int r oduced her t o t he DVR, showing her how t o r ecor d
t he ent ir e season so she can wat ch t hem whenev er she want s.
She r ewar ded me wit h a shining smile t hat I felt in my t oes.
Her spar kling ey es lit up like Id just giv en her key s t o a
Lambor ghini. The fact t hat I could make her light up like
t hat filled me wit h mor e pr ide t han winning my fir st fight . I
spent t he r est of t he night figur ing out way s t o ear n t hat
smile again.
That t ickles, she whisper s wit h a giggle as she st ills my
hand at her st omach.
Good mor ning. I push my luck and glide my hand up
her body t o her r ib cage just shy of t he under side of her
br east .
A shar p int ake of air and she r elaxes.
How did y ou sleep?
Mmm, r eally good. She r olls ov er t o face me.
I pr op up on my elbow, my head in my hand, and r un my
finger s down her r ibs t o wher e t he sheet lies at her waist and
back again.
She t ouches my cheek wit h a bar ely -t her e br ush of her
finger t ips. I like t hese, she whisper s, t r acing my dimples.
I r oll my ey es.
What ? They r e cut e.
She did not just say t hat .
Cut e? I dont want t o be cut e.
I didnt t hink her giggles could get any sweet er , but her
scr at chy mor ning giggles ar e t he best .
Well, t oo bad, because y ou ar e.
My smile widens at t he compliment . It s not t hat Iv e
nev er had a gir l t ell me Im cut e, but ev er y t hing means mor e
coming fr om Rav ens mout h.
Her ey es mov e t o my ar m as her finger slowly t r aces my
t at t oo.
This is r eally beaut iful. Ry an Allen Slade. She r eads t he
scr ipt ed name. Is it a t r ibut e t o y our dad?
Yeah, he lov ed t he ocean so I t hought it fit t ing t hat t he
cr oss r ises up fr om it .
Her finger s out line t he swir ls of wav es t hen t he cr oss at
my bicep, mov ing up t o t he sky and clouds. Leav ing t r ails of
fir e against my skin, her finger follows t he pat t er n t o t he
angels at my left pec. She looks up at me, her pier cing
aquamar ine ey es heav y wit h sleep, her ey ebr ows r aised in
quest ion.
Kat her ine is my mom. Bet h is my sist er . The wor ds
come out r ushed. I dont want her t o t hink t he womens
names inked on my body ar e past lov er s.
And why t he blank spot in bet ween t hem? Her finger
br ushes at t he unmar ked skin ov er my hear t , t easingly close
t o my nipple.
Im sav ing t hat for my fut ur e wife.
She pulls her hand away like it s been bur ned and ducks
her head. I cur se my self for r uining t he moment .
I r oll t o my back t o expose my r ight ar m and point t o t he
fier y phoenix.
This one her e I got for a t wo r easons. Fir st one is
obv ious. Wev e t alked about me being fr om Ar izona and
mov ing t o Vegas aft er high school.
She lift s her head and nods. Im t hankful t o see t he
awkwar d moment pass.
Second is because aft er my dad died, I was dest r oy ed, like
Id lost ev er y t hing, not just my dad. Then I st ar t ed fight ing
and I pause, r emember ing t he lost boy I was and
compar ing him t o t he man I am now. It gav e me somet hing
back. Not so much r ebor n, but r edir ect ed. It gav e me pur pose,
a r eason t o wake up ev er y day .
Her t hought ful ey es st udy mine, her ey ebr ows pinched in
concent r at ion. You found a way t o deal wit h y our pain in a
healt hy way t hat impr ov ed y our life.
Yeah, I guess. Alt hough somet imes it feels like fight ing
found me, y a know? I could hav e gone eit her way . Jail for
assault or t he UFL.
She sighs and r olls t o her back, ey es t o t he ceiling. If only
ev er y t hing wer e like t hat . It s not easy t o do: owning and
accept ing t he pain of our past , t he hear t br eak, our
misgiv ings, and using t hem for good. Make our liv es bet t er
not in spit e of it all but because of it .
Her whisper ed wor ds ar e dir ect ed at no one, and I wonder
if t hey wer e meant mor e for me or for her . I wat ch her pr ofile
as she cont inues t o inspect t he ceiling fan.
It s not t he fir st t ime t hat t he gir l beside me has knocked
me st upid wit h somet hing t hat comes fr om her beaut iful
mout h. As I sit dazed by her br illiance, my mind at t empt s t o
piece t oget her what shes been t hr ough. Being t he daught er of
a pimp and a pr ost it ut e in Las Vegas couldnt hav e been easy .
Her dad was hawking womens bodies and pr ofit ing fr om it ,
ev en t he mot her of his own daught er . Rev ulsion st ir s in my
gut .
We lie in silence for sev er al long minut es, me lost in
t hought s of her , her just looking lost .
Huffing, she t ur ns her head wit h a sweet smile. I need
caffeine.
And just like t hat , shes back. These last few day s, Rav en
has opened up t o me on her own, alway s changing t he subject
when shes done shar ing. I want t o know mor e about her , but
Ill let her set t he pace.
Ar e y ou alway s t his pushy in t he mor ning? I t ease.
A soft pink kisses her cheeks as she bur ies her head in my
chest . I r un my hand up her back int o her hair .
I dont t hink Im pushy in t he mor ning, but t hen again,
Iv e nev er slept ov er wit h a boy befor e.
Boy , huh?
Rolling her t o her back, I climb abov e her and bur y my
face in her t hr oat . Her hands slide int o my hair , and she
holds me t o her . I nip at her neck, elicit ing a soft moan t hat
v ibr at es against my lips. It t akes ev er y ounce of my cont r ol
not t o flex my hips int o her accept ing body . I pull up t he hem
of her t -shir t and r est my hand against her r ibs.
Jonah, is t hat y our phone?
I ignor e her br eat hy quest ion as my finger t ips br ush
against t he under side of her br east .
Jonah, I t hink y ou should get y our
I silence her wit h my mout h, swallowing her unspoken
wor ds. She hums and t ilt s her head, allowing me t o delv e
deeper . I do just t hat , dr iv ing my t ongue against her s. As
slow as I can manage, I mov e my hand up unt il it s
ov er flowing wit h t he weight of her br east . She pr esses int o
my hold, molding my hand against her .
What if it s an emer gency ? She br eaks t he kiss t o speak
befor e pulling me back t o her lips.
I smile at her eager ness befor e sucking her full bot t om lip
int o my mout h. Her hands slide fr om my neck down t o my
chest as she explor es my body wit h her t ouch.
You t ast e fucking fant ast ic. I t r ail my t ongue fr om her
lips t o her neck wit h ev er y int ent ion of t ast ing her br east s.
The phone. It could be a family emer gency . Her
clipped wor ds come out bet ween needy pant s. Her hands r un
up again and int o my hair sending t he opposit e message of
her wor ds.
Im kissing her shoulder , her chest heav ing against mine.
Ther e isnt much t hat could dr ag me away fr om her willing
lit t le body . But shes r ight . And Im pissed.
Fuck. I kiss her har d and suck her t ongue deep int o my
mout h let t ing her know t her es mor e t o come. Lat er .
Wit h a quick push up, Im off t he bed. She whimper s, her
face flushed, a shy smile t ugging on her swollen lips. Her face
is fr ee of makeup, and her hair is t ossed ar ound t he pillow in a
wav y halo. Seriously gorgeous.
Im going t o kill whoev er t hat is.
Her laught er fills t he r oom making it har d t o st ay mad. I
follow t he sound of my r inging cell phone t o t he liv ing r oom,
hoping t he dist ance fr om Rav en will calm my r acing pulse
and dull t he t hr ob in my pant s.
Nabbing my phone off t he t able, I check t he caller ID.
Yeah, hes dead.
This bet t er be good, I gr owl.
Oh shit . Eit her y ou didnt get laid last night , or I
int er r upt ed y our mor ning piece of ass.
My t eet h gr ind t oget her and I gr ip my cell. Blake has no
idea how close he is t o a beat down.
Blake, y ou ev er t alk about Rav en like t hat again, I will
r ip y our balls off and shov e t hem down y our t hr oat . I wont
t oler at e any one disr espect ing her . We clear ?
Is he fucking laughing? What t he hell.
No shit , man. The way he say s it , Im sur pr ised he
doesnt follow it wit h a Duh! He chuckles. Pr et t y obv ious
aft er wat ching y ou t wo last night . Oh, and for t he r ecor d, I
appr ov e.
Gr eat . Dont know what Id do wit hout y our blessing. I
for ce sar casm int o my wor ds, but cant suppr ess a smile.
The Assassin set t les down. I can see t he headlines now.
Women ar ound t he gr eat er st at e of Nev ada flood t he st r eet s
wit h t ear s.
Im not set t ling down. Wer e just hanging out . I gr imace
at t he sour t ast e of t hose wor ds fr om my mout h.
Right , dude. What ev er y ou say .
Subject change, ASAP. You called for a r eason?
Well, besides calling t o find out if y ou dipped y our
Blake. My t one is heav y wit h war ning.
Hes laughing. Tr aining t oday is mov ed t o elev en.
Got it .
Oh, and, Jonah, I want det ails.
Keep dr eamin.
His laughing is coming t hr ough t he phone in loud bur st s.
Just hanging out , my ass!
Your e an asshole.
Hit t ing end, I t oss my phone t o t he kit chen island,
making it skid. I gr ab t he coffee pot and t ur n t o see Rav en
leaning up against t he kit chen door way . She t ilt s her head,
flashing me a sexy half-smile. How long has she been
st anding t her e?
Let me guess Blake?
Yep, Blake. I fill t he coffee maker wit h wat er . Howd
y ou know? Or better yet, how much did you hear?
I hear d t he a-hole par t when I walked in.
Good. Im glad she didnt hear t he par t about us just
hanging out . I know it s mor e t han t hat , but Blakes nosey ass
doesnt need t o know.
He r eally knows how t o get y ou going, huh?
It s safe t o say Blake knows how t o get ev er y one going. I
scoop coffee gr ounds int o t he filt er , spilling some on t he
count er . Except y ou, y ou act ually laugh at him.
Most gir ls who laugh at Blake ar e t r y ing t o get him t ake
t hem home. No way Rav en has feelings for Blake. Jealousy ,
mean and ugly , t wist s in my gut .
Hes funny . She say s it like it s t he most obv ious t hing
in t he wor ld.
I st op what Im doing and t ur n t o her , ar ms cr ossed at my
chest . How funny ?
She shr ugs and comes t o me fr om acr oss t he kit chen.
Really funny .
The ur ge t o beat t he snot out of Blake comes out of
nowher e. A need t o pr ot ect or mar k what s mine ov er whelms
me. Somet hing pr imal and male pushes my feet t o mov e
acr oss t he r oom and make a point .
I close t he space bet ween us, gr ab bot h hands full of her
ass, and fuse my lips t o her s. Her body t enses for a moment ,
pr obably shocked by my sudden need, befor e her muscles
melt against mine. She clut ches at my shoulder s wit h a moan
t hat set t les behind my r ibs. I use my hold on her backside t o
lift her up on t he count er and st ep bet ween her legs. The heat
fr om her skin sear s mine as she pr esses in close. My hands
t angle in her hair , gr ipping t ight and pulling back, opening
her t o me. Her body r elaxes, giv ing me cont r ol. I gr owl in
v ict or y befor e I br eak t he kiss: no slow sweeps of my t ongue t o
br ing her back, just a quick nip at her lower lip.
Wow. She st r aight ens out of my hold. Wit h her hands
locked behind my neck, she leans her for ehead against mine.
What was t hat for ? She pulls back, her ey es sear ching my
face. Wait , was t hat ar e y ou jealous?
She knows? Of cour se she knows. I act ed like a complet e
animal.
I had t o be sur e.
Be sur e?
Yeah. Be sur e t hat I do it for y ou.
Her ey ebr ows pinch t oget her . And?
Baby , t he way y ou just gav e y our self ov er t o me? No
quest ion.
Her ey es gr ow wide and her face get s r ed, but she doesnt
deny it . Yeah, I t ot ally do it for her . Blake can liv e.
I r un my t humbs acr oss t he heat of her blush. Do y ou
wor k t oday ?
She blinks as if shes just been r eleased fr om a spell befor e
her shy smile is dir ect ed at me. Im on call.
Ill finish up t he coffee. You check in wit h Guy and find
out if he needs y ou in t oday . If not , I want y ou t o go t o
t r aining wit h me.
Tr aining wit h y ou? Her hands t ense behind my neck. I
mean, wont y ou get in t r ouble if y ou br ing a fr iend?
I t uck her loose hair behind her ear befor e cupping her
jaw, my t humb skat ing along her lower lip. My ey es follow
t he pat h of my t humb, r emember ing what she t ast es like.
Fr iend? Is t hat what y ou ar e?
She t r ies t o dr op her chin. I hold her face t o mine, locking
her ey es.
No, at least , I hope Im mor e.
Yeah, baby , y our e definit ely mor e. So, t he answer t o
y our quest ion is no, I wont get in t r ouble if I br ing y ou t o
t r aining. We can swing by y our place, feed Dog t he cat , y ou
can change and gr ab some of y our st uff for t he next couple
day s.
A slight t r emor r uns t hr ough her body . Day s?
I ignor e her quest ion. Aft er last night and t his mor ning,
wit h her sexy war m body pr essed against mine and waking
up t o her giggles, her t hr oat y moans, and my hand up her
shir t , she isnt going t o be sleeping any wher e, but my bed in
my ar ms fr om now on. Or as long as this lasts.
Come t o t r aining wit h me. Youll like it . You might ev en
pick up on a few t hings.
Dont t hink I need MMA skills in my ev er y day life at t he
gar age.
Tr ue, I say , t wist ing a piece of her soft hair ar ound my
finger . But it wouldnt hur t t o know how t o br eak someones
ar m.
I laugh at her hor r ified expr ession.
You can do t hat ? Br eak someones ar m?
Come t o t r aining and Ill show y ou.
A quick call t o Guy confir ms t hat shes fr ee for t he day .
She had a har d t ime explaining why she was ov er at my
house at nine oclock in t he mor ning, but it seems he bought
her excuse t hat she was her e wor king on t he Impala. Their
close r elat ionship put s me at ease. In t he shor t t ime Iv e
known Rav en, I hav ent seen her t alk on t he phone t o any one
out side of Ev e and Guy . Shes ment ioned t hat she and her
mom ar ent close. I r emind my self t o ask her about t hat lat er .
Ready for t he day , me shower ed and dr essed, Rav en
pr oper ly caffeinat ed, we head t o my gar age. She walks t o t he
t r uck and wait s for me t o hit t he locks.
Which one do y ou want t o t ake? I mot ion t o all of t he
av ailable for ms of t r anspor t at ion.
St unned, she looks up at me like a kid who just walked
t hr ough t he gat es of Disney land.
I get t o pick?
Sur e, if y ou want t o.
Heck y eah, I want t o!
She walks t o t he Har ley wit hout hesit at ion and hit s me
wit h t he st upefy ing smile she did last night . So open, and
t r ust ing but also somet hing bey ond t hat . Believ ing.
I t r y t o ignor e t he t ight ening in my chest . The Har ley it
is. Gr ab a helmet .
We climb on, and I t r y har d not t o smile like a complet e
jackass as she wr aps her ar ms ar ound my waist . The weight
of her head t ouches my back, and I could swear she was
hugging me.
Ther es not a guy out t her e t hat wouldnt list hav ing his
gir l on t he back of his bike as one of t he best feelings in t he
wor ld. Her knees ar e at my hips and t he heat of her body at
my ass. Yeah, Im smiling like a jackass all r ight . At least
shes behind me so she cant see it .
Ten
Raven
Fan-fr eaking-t ast ic. That s t he only way t o descr ibe
r iding on t he back of a Har ley Blackline wit h my super -hot ,
badass boy fr iend. The wor ds t umble ar ound in my head,
making my st omach flut t er , or may be it s t he adr enaline
fr om t he r ide. My guess is a combinat ion of bot h.
The sun is shining, and t her es a comfor t able br eeze fr om
t he speed of t he bike. Jonahs massiv e body commands t he
incr edible piece of machiner y as we t wist and t ur n t hr ough
t he Las Vegas st r eet s. I cant help but wonder what it would
be like t o dr iv e it my self. I make a ment al not e t o ask Jonah if
he would t each me.
He t akes t he long way t o my place, making sur e t o hit
some of t he most beaut iful par t s of t own. On a par t icular ly
long st r et ch of r oad, I loosen my hold on his waist and t ight en
my knees at his hips. Wit h a quick pr ay er , I t hr ow my ar ms
ov er my head, complet ely fr ee, and howl like a wild dog.
Jonahs body shakes wit h what I assume is laught er , but I
cant hear ov er t he r oar of t he bike. A lit t le embar r assed by
my blissful liber at ion, I wr ap my ar ms ar ound his body and
hug him t o me.
We pull up t o Guy s Gar age, and Jonah par ks t he Har ley
r ight next t o my Nov a. I swing my leg ov er t he bike and
dismount while he holds it st eady . Pulling my helmet off, I
smoot h t he t ussled ends of my hair . Kickst and down, I admir e
him as he comes off t he bike. He exudes confidence and
st abilit y , like a man well awar e of his body and it s
capabilit ies. His r ed t -shir t hugs his t or so, and his jeans ar e
baggy but t ight in all t he r ight places. He r emov es his helmet
and walks ar ound my car checking it out . Hes seen it plent y
of t imes fr om a dist ance, but nev er close-up.
I st udy t he look of concent r at ion on his face. Well, what
do y ou t hink?
His gaze snaps t o mine. What do I t hink? I t hink it s
amazing. He bends at t he waist wit h his hands on his hips t o
look in t he dr iv er s side window. Or iginal int er ior , st ock
shift er , st eer ing wheel Rav en, baby , y ou did t his?
Im back t o per ma-gr in st at us. My chest swells wit h pr ide
at t he sur pr ise in his v oice.
Yeah, it t ook me t wo y ear s sav ing money for par t s and
wor king on it in my fr ee t ime.
He closes t he space bet ween us and wr aps his ar ms ar ound
my waist , placing his hands on my bot t om. Just like in his
kit chen, t he simple t ouch ignit es my blood and I feel
somet hing I dont feel oft en. Sexy .
Im so pr oud of y ou, babe. This, he gest ur es t o t he car
wit h a nod, is incr edible. You ar e incr edible.
His wor ds penet r at e deep int o my soul, shaking t he
useless r ubble of t he pr ot ect iv e wall he dest r oy ed just last
night .
Pushing up t o my t oes, I place my hands on his chest and
slowly br ush my lips against his. His gr ip flexes against my
bot t om. I make anot her pass at his lips, and anot her , t hen
open my mout h and allow t he t ip of my t ongue t o dr ag
against his full lower lip. He r eaches int o my hair and t ugs
gent ly , angling me t o him and t aking no pr isoner s. His lips
cov er mine, t ongue t hr ust ing int o my mout h. A gr oan
r umbles against my palms, sending my blood soar ing. His
kiss is possessiv e and dominant , and I moan int o his eager
mout h. Wit hout war ning, I feel t he sunbaked met al of my car
against my back as Jonah pins me t her e. He gr inds his hips
int o my belly and my legs go weak. Time passes, minut es or
hour s Im not sur e, as I lose my self in his kiss.
We need t o slow down befor e we get ar r est ed for indecent
exposur e. His wicked gr in and hungr y ey es hav e me
t hinking it s wor t h t he r isk.
He holds me fir mly against t he car unt il my br eat hing
calms and I r egain t he use of my legs.
You okay ? he asks, a wolfish smile t ugging at his lips.
Im good.
Wit h t wo st eps back, he r eleases me fr om his hold, but
gr abs my hand.
He shr ugs one shoulder . Show me y our place.
I head for my apar t ment in a Jonah-induced fog. Will I
ev er get used t o being wit h him? Or will I be st umbling ov er
my feet ev er y t ime wer e t oget her .
Ray !
Just st eps fr om t he alley , I hear t he unmist akable call.
Guy is st anding in t he bay , his glar e so t ight I cant see t he
color of his ey es.
Um, Ill be r ight back. I let go of Jonahs hand only t o
feel him hold on t ight er .
No. Im coming wit h y ou. His expr ession is r elaxed, but
det er mined.
This should be int er est ing. Guy has nev er seen me wit h a
man befor e, mainly because Iv e nev er dat ed one. And now
her e I am, walking hand in hand wit h The Las Vegas
Casanov a.
Hey , what s up? My unusually high v oice has Guy s
scowl nar r owing.
He looks back and for t h bet ween Jonah and me, his ey es
dar t ing fr om our joined hands t o our faces. What s going on
her e?
Oh, uh well, we just
Rav en and I ar e dat ing, sir .
Guy s face goes fr om pinched and small t o wide and slack.
Dat ing.
Yes, sir . Jonah pulls me t o his side, let t ing go of my
hand and t hr owing his ar m ov er my shoulder .
I smile up at Guy , whos back t o glar ing. This t ime, it s
aimed dir ect ly at Jonah.
Didnt know y ou wer e t he dat ing t y pe, son.
My hear t r aces at Guy s blunt confr ont at ion of Jonahs
r eput at ion.
Nev er was. I am now. Jonahs answer is accompanied
by a fir m squeeze.
I want t o jump up and down at t he cer t aint y t hat laces
Jonahs wor ds. Inst ead, I wr ap my ar m ar ound his waist and
hug him t o me, smiling huge at Guy .
His face r elaxes, t he cor ner of his mout h t wit ching.
Right t hen. He point s in Jonahs face, put t ing on his best
fat her ly expr ession. Behav e y our self.
Now it s Jonah whos fight ing a gr in. Yes, sir .
Wit h a cur t nod, Guy walks back int o t he gar age. I exhale
t he br eat h I was holding and lead Jonah t o t he alley . That
went well, but if I know Guy , well be t alking about it lat er .
We t ake t he st air s t o my door , and I wat ch t he play ful
humor slide fr om his face. I gr ab my key s and open t he door .
This is it . I mot ion for him t o ent er .
He glower s ar ound t he 5 00 squar e feet . It s cut e.
Id be embar r assed if I t hought his dist ast e was due t o my
pov er t y , but it s clear in t he way he checks out t he st r eet
light s and t he locks on my door t hat hes concer ned for my
safet y . My hear t beat s a lit t le fast er .
Make y our self at home. Im going t o change and gr ab a
few t hings.
Thankful t hat I hit t he laundr omat a couple day s ago, I
pull a black lace br a and pant y set , my fav or it e jeans, and a
black t ank t op int o my ar ms. I st ep int o t he bat hr oom and
slide t he cur t ain closed. Changing quickly so t hat Jonah
doesnt hav e t o wait , I br ush on some mascar a and swipe on
lip gloss. I gr ab my t oilet r ies and walk back out int o my r oom.
On t he way t o my backpack, I fr eeze and bit e back my
smile. Seeing a UFL Heav y weight on my t iny t win bed makes
it look like a Twinkie. I lose t he bat t le and a laugh shoot s fr om
my t hr oat . He looks at me like he knows what Im laughing
about and t ot ally agr ees.
Can y ou imagine bot h of us in t his bed? Or hell, just
me? He looks per plexed while he st udies t he bed fr om t op t o
bot t om, which sends me int o full-fledged hilar it y .
If we st ay her e, y oull hav e t o sleep on t he floor . I
manage t o say t hr ough my giggles.
His hazel ey es dar ken, his amusement r eplaced by
somet hing t angible and consuming. Not sleepin on t he floor ,
babe. Im st ar t ing t o t hink of a few differ ent way s we could
fit .
I suck in a br eat h and t r y not t o fidget as elect r icit y
v ibr at es bet ween us.
Br eaking t he moment befor e we set somet hing on fir e, I
shov e t hings int o my backpack. Jonah get s up fr om t he bed
and goes t o t he small bookshelf in t he cor ner of t he r oom. I do
a quick ment al inv ent or y of what s t her e, hoping he doesnt
find any t hing embar r assing. Thank God, I got r id of t he
Kama Sut r a book Ev e gav e me on my last bir t hday as a gag.
Ot her t han a Bible, some r omance nov els, and a few pict ur es,
t her es not hing much t o see.
That s insane, he say s wit h wonder in his v oice.
He picks up a small fr amed pict ur e t hat I know is of my
mom. It s t he only pict ur e I hav e of her . I t ook it befor e I
mov ed out , want ing t o keep somet hing of her , ev en if she
want ed not hing t o do wit h me. I r emember cat ching her on
t he couch aft er she wor ked lat e. She had t aken a long, hot
shower , as she alway s did aft er wor k. She had on a pink,
cot t on, floor -lengt h night gown. She was list ening t o The
Tempt at ions, st ar ing out t he window at t he dist ant light s of
Las Vegas Boulev ar d wit h a lost look on her face. Ill nev er
for get how her beaut y clashed dr amat ically wit h t he ugliness
she held in her ey es. I gr abbed my t hr ow away camer a and
snapped t he shot . She was in such a daze she didnt ev en
flinch. That was t wo y ear s ago. I hav ent seen her since.
Rav en, y ou look just like her . Shes gor geous.
Yeah, she is.
My chest bur ns wit h hear t br eak like it does ev er y t ime I
t hink about my mom. I absent ly r ub my chest in an at t empt
t o push back t he pain. I cant do t his r ight now, going fr om
t he ext r eme high of t he last t welv e hour s wit h Jonah t o t his
ext r eme low.
Any one up for a r ide on t he bi-polar coast er ?
He put s t he pict ur e back and t ur ns t owar d me. Ther e is a
kindness in his ey es t hat makes me feel v ulner able. I look
away .
Gr abbing my st uff, I r emember t he can of cat food and
head for t he door . Ready ?
Hes st anding in t he same place, his hands shov ed int o his
pocket s. I wat ch as somet hing wor ks behind his ey es, like he
want s t o say somet hing but he cant sor t it out .
Wit h a long br eat h, he nods and smiles. Yeah.
***
Walking up t o t he UFL Tr aining Cent er door s, my
st omach flut t er s wit h ner v es. The idea of being inside a r oom
filled wit h guy s just like Jonah is daunt ing and int imidat ing
as heck. He holds my hand as we push t hr ough t he ent r ance
and I gr ip him t ight er .
Air condit ioning and heav y met al hum t hr ough t he
lobby . Br ight r ed couches and sleek side t ables line t he dar k
gr ay walls. At t he far wall sit s a desk wit h a st r iking
st r awber r y blond woman sit t ing behind it .
Jonah t osses t he lov ely lady a quick chin lift . Her per ky
smile fades as her ey es hit me. I giv e her a small wav e of my
finger s and suppr ess t he ur ge t o t hr ow her my middle one. I
chalk up my aggr essiv e at t it ude t o all t he t est ost er one t hat
dr ips down t he walls like honey .
We make our way down a hallway lined wit h door s. As we
near t he end, I hear t he v ibr at ion of male v oices. They get
louder and louder unt il we emer ge fr om t he hallway int o a
massiv e r oom.
Clean sweat and t he unmist akable smell of man fill t he
r oom along wit h t he called-out dir ect ions of t r ainer s and
gr unt s of fight er s. I slow my pace unt il a t ug on my hand has
me mov ing. He leads me t owar ds t he cent er of t he gy m wher e
r oughly a dozen men ar e gr ouped off in v ar ious for ms of
fight ing. Some ar e fight ing on a mat while ot her s ar e
punching and kicking bags. A few ar e t aking a br eak, soaked
in sweat and sucking down wat er , some ar e on t he floor
st r et ching. Ther e is a lar ge oct agon in t he middle of t he r oom
wher e t wo men ar e boxing. The combinat ions of v oices and
met al music bounce off t he concr et e walls and high ceilings,
put t ing a palpable ener gy in t he air .
Giv e me y our backpack. Ill put it in my locker . I hand
it t o him wit hout looking away fr om t he act iv it y on t he floor .
Slowly , t he act ion st ops and t he r oom goes quiet . It s t hen
t hat I not ice all ey es ar e on me. Crud. I look for Jonah but
cat ch his back as he passes t hr ough t he locker r oom door .
Facing t he r oom, I lift a hand t o wav e, my expr ession
pr obably as awkwar d as I feel.
Who ar e y ou? a handsome, older man calls out t o me.
I clear my t hr oat . Im Rav en. I t r y unsuccessfully t o
cont r ol t he shake in my v oice.
That s Jonahs gir l. Shes cool.
I exhale in r elief at t he sound of Blakes v oice.
He makes his way ov er t o me, and t he r est of t he guy s
st ar e for a minut e longer befor e t hey r esume t heir t r aining.
Hey , baby gir l. Wher es Jonah?
His shir t is off and his skin glist ens wit h sweat . Yest er day
at Jonahs par t y , he nev er t ook his shir t off. I st and st ar ing at
t he milit ar y t at t oo t hat t akes up one whole side of his chest ,
but av er t my ey es t o his face befor e I can make out what it
say s. Hes smiling at me in his usual char ming way .
He went t o put some st uff in his locker . I chew t he inside
of my cheek. Is it okay t hat Im her e? I wouldnt want t o
disr upt or cause any pr oblems.
Ar e y ou kidding? He looks at t he guy s ov er his shoulder
and back t o me. You just gav e t hese but t holes a r eason t o
show off. They ll pr obably hav e t he best session of t heir liv es
wit h y ou her e t o put up for .
My lips t wit ch, fight ing my smile.
You laugh ev en when Im not t r y ing t o be funny . What d
I say ?
I cov er my mout h t o muffle my giggles. You said but t
holes.
He shakes his head, looks t o t he floor t hen back at me.
You ev er cuss, Rav en?
My laught er dies as I cont emplat e his quest ion. Of course I
cuss. What adult doesnt cuss? Ugh. Who am I kidding? I
t ot ally dont . It s not as if I hav ent t r ied. It just alway s sounds
so st upid coming fr om my mout h.
Of cour se I cuss, I lie.
He glar es at me wit h a play ful glint in his ey e. Really ?
Psht . Yes. My palms sweat , and I wonder what it is
about t his guy t hat makes me so ner v ous.
All r ight , fine. Hit me wit h one r ight now. Giv e me y our
nast iest cur se.
Rocking back on his heels, he cr osses his bulging ar ms
ov er his muscular chest wait ing.
My mout h falls open at t he r idiculousness. I snap my
mout h shut and squar e my shoulder s.
Okay , I will. I r ace t hr ough my mind pulling up some of
t he least offensiv e cur se wor ds I can t hink of, all of t hem
sounding lame ev en in my head. It s just Im not mad r ight
now and I nev er cuss unless Im mad. I hold my head high
and pr ay like cr azy t hat hell be int imidat ed by my int egr it y
and leav e it alone.
His ey es nar r ow, and his smile gr ows by t he second. You
cant do it , can y ou?
Appar ent ly , my int egr it y doesnt int imidat e; it
inst igat es.
Yes, I can. I say in a high v oice t hat doesnt ev en sound
like me. What is my pr oblem? Why cant I just fr iggin cuss? I
am not going t o let him get t he best of me. No way .
Go for it , baby gir l. Im wait ing.
Gir ding my pr ov er bial loins, I go for it .
Shit ass! I blur t t hen quickly cov er my mout h wit h my
hand. My face feels like a Molot ov cockt ail as t he blush t akes
ov er my cheeks and neck.
Blakes face is st oic for t wo beat s befor e he t hr ows his head
back in a booming laugh t hat get s t he at t ent ion of ev er y guy
in t he r oom. This, of cour se, does not help my sit uat ion. It s
possible, I discov er , t o hav e a full-body blush.
That was fuckin awesome. He bends ov er , sucking in
br eat h.
What s going on ov er her e, Blake? Jonahs v oice
demands as he mar ches up t o us. Why does my gir l look like
y ou just flashed her ?
Dude, she said, shit ass. Iv e nev er hear d a sweet cur se
wor d befor e.
He put s his ar m ar ound my shoulder and pulls me t o his
side. Of cour se, it s sweet . She isnt capable of any t hing less.
My body melt s int o him, and my blush r ecedes at t he
safet y of his t ouch.
Right . You r eady t o war m up? Blake say s, a whisper of
amusement st ill light ing his face.
Yeah, let me get Rav en set up and Ill be r ight t her e.
Cool. Blakes ey es mov e fr om Jonah t o me. He shakes his
head. Your e somet hing else, baby gir l. Walking away , I
hear him mumble somet hing t hat sounds like lucky bast ar d.
Jonahs body t enses at my side, dr awing my ey es t o him.
He looks down at me, and I wat ch t he t ension leav e his face.
You all r ight ?
Of cour se. Thanks t o him.
Blakes not so funny any mor e, is he?
I shr ug, slide my ar ms ar ound Jonahs middle and r est
my cheek against his chest . No, hes st ill funny .
He chuckles and t ugs me t o mov e. Come on. Let s find
y ou somewher e t o sit .
We walk t o a r ow of chair s, and he t ells me t o t ake a seat .
A fir m kiss on t he lips, t hen one t o t he side of my neck, and he
mov es t o meet Blake and Owen in t he oct agon.
Taking in my sur r oundings, I not ice gigant ic post er s on
t he walls, each depict ing a differ ent fight er . I make my way
past each one, st udy ing t he fight er s I r ecognize unt il I land on
Jonahs.
His post er is by far t he most ent icing. The phot o was
t aken at an angle, his head t ur ned t o face t he camer a. His
ey ebr ows ar e dr opped low making his ey es look black, and Im
t r ansfixed by t he fier ceness of his face. No dimples or sexy
gr in, just pur e focus. His let hal ar ms, posed in punching
posit ion, look huge as t he v ibr ant color s of his t at t oos
int ensify t he cut s of his muscles. A shiv er r uns t hr ough my
body and I t ur n away t o find my seat .
I t ake a chair up close and set my at t ent ion t o Jonah in
t he oct agon. It doesnt t ake long befor e Im gasping for air
wit h my hand cov er ing my mout h t o keep fr om cr y ing out .
Wat ching Jonah in act ion is t er r ify ingly beaut iful. He mov es
like a pr edat or , gr aceful y et power ful. His punches and kicks
ar e cont r olled as he commands his body . On t he mat , as he
r olls in a t angle of ar ms and legs, t her es no doubt he was bor n
for t his.
Baby ! Come her e. Jonahs command is t er se wit h loss of
br eat h.
I look up in hor r or and point t o my chest . Who me?
He smiles, nods, and wav es me ov er .
This is going t o be embar r assing, I say t o no one in
par t icular as I push my self up and head his way .
Im going t o t each y ou an ar m bar .
Owen leav es t he oct agon, giv ing me a sweet smile. Good
luck, pr incess.
My ey es find Blake who is cov er ing his mout h, but his
ey es giv e away his amusement . Oh, real nice.
Jonah and Blake demonst r at e a few t imes, bot h of t hem
explaining each st ep in det ail wit h t he clar it y of pr ofessional
fight er s. I hang on ev er y wor d, det er mined t o get it r ight and
not make a complet e idiot out of my self.
Their inst r uct ion complet e, t hey call me ov er t o t r y .
Ly ing wit h my back t o t he mat , I do exact ly what Im shown.
Aft er a few minor adjust ment s, I hav e Jonahs for ear m in my
hands. His ar m r uns t he lengt h of my body down t hr ough my
legs. His shoulder r est s bet ween my t highs and my calv es ar e
locked ar ound his t or so. I t hr ust my hips for war d.
Fuck. He makes a pained gr unt , but I cont inue t o hold
him in place. You got it .
I did it ! I could br eak t he ar m of a man at least t wice my
size by a t hr ust of my hips.
Power sur ges t hr ough me and Im suddenly flipped. Jonah
has his huge body wr apped ar ound me like a boa const r ict or ,
his mout h at my ear .
Yeah, baby . You did it . Im pr oud of y ou. He whisper s
befor e nuzzling my neck and dr opping linger ing kisses on my
ear lobe.
I shiv er .
That s my gir l. He r eleases me and pulls me t o my feet .
Blake is off t o t he side of t he mat . This, he indicat es by
wav ing his hand back and for t h bet ween me and Jonah, is
fr eaking me t he hell out . He wav es us off t hen st alks away .
I shr ug my shoulder s and look t o Jonah who has bot h
dimples out in full for ce.
Your e not t he only one, he mumbles.
What ?
Not hing.
Eleven
Jonah
St ill wit h t he same gir l. Got t a say , br ot her , I didnt t hink
y ou had it in y ou.
Owen and I ar e in t he kit chen at t he t r aining cent er ,
shoot ing t he shit and power ing down pr ot ein shakes.
I wasnt sur e I had it in me eit her , but her e I am, one full
week. Pr ide war ms my chest ev er y t ime I t hink about t he
longest and only r elat ionship Iv e ev er had. It isnt at all like I
t hought it d be. She doesnt bug me t o buy her shit , ask me t o
get her int o t he most exclusiv e clubs, or fill my bat hr oom
wit h her gir lie cr ap. I cant ev en get her t o leav e clot hes at
my house. Shes alway s t ossing clot hes in and out of her
backpack.
Aft er t hat fir st night , she put up a fight about st ay ing
ov er t he next t wo. Unt il I t old her t hat Id per sonally go and
feed Dog ev er y mor ning if it meant hav ing her war m body in
my bed ev er y night . And ev er y night since, she t r ies t o leav e
again, only agr eeing t o st ay once I kiss her unt il she
sur r ender s.
You st ill hav ent slept wit h her .
Br inging my cup t o my mout h, my ar m st alls out in
midair and I glar e at my fr iend. How did y ou know t hat ?
He swallows a gulp of his shake. I didnt . A gr in spr eads
acr oss his face. But I do now.
Fuck.
Figur ed y our e keeping her ar ound for a r eason. What s
t he hold up?
None of y our fucking business.
Owens deep laught er bangs against my ev er y ner v e. I
could lie. Tell him t hat shes a v ir gin and Im holding off unt il
shes r eady . The fir st par t s t r ue. The last par t s t he lie. Shes
r eady . Her wor ds hav ent said it , but her body has scr eamed
it .
Im just sur pr ised, man. You hav e her in y our bed ev er y
night . How can y ou, of all people, not fuck her ?
Owen. The caut ion in my t one for ces him t o r oll his ey es
befor e he st udies me silent ly .
That s it , isnt it ? His wor ds ar e almost a whisper . I had
a feeling, but I wasnt sur e.
I t oss my empt y cup int o t he sink a lit t le har der t han I
need t o. This ent ir e conv er sat ion is pissing me t he fuck off.
Sur e about what ?
You lov e t his gir l.
Ir r it at ion is sucked fr om my body along wit h my br eat h.
Love her. Do I?
As long as Iv e known y ou, y ouv e nev er ev en t aken a
gir l out unless it was somet hing UFL r elat ed. You use woman
t o get off, mov e on, and nev er look back. And now her e y ou
ar e, looking like y our e about t o t ake me out for asking why
y ou hav ent fuhad sex wit h her y et .
Im hear ing his wor ds, but st ill pr ocessing his ear lier
st at ement . I r emain close-lipped.
He st ar t s laughing, t hen har der , and point s at my face.
Yeah, man. That s t he face. You lov e her .
But it s only been a week. People dont fall in lov e in a
week.
The hell t hey dont ? I knew I was in lov e wit h Nik on our
fir st dat e. No quest ion.
Wev e been spending a lot of t ime t oget her . Mor nings ar e
spent wor king on t he Impala unt il she goes t o Guy s gar age
and I go t r ain. Night s, shes back at my house wher e we cook
t oget her , eat t oget her , wat ch t elev ision t oget her andHoly
crap. Wer e my par ent s.
May be I do lov e her .
I wipe t he sweat fr om my for ehead, feeling suddenly
faint . Must be fr om t he int ense t r aining session. Yeah, t hat s
all it is.
So now t hat wev e est ablished t hat , what s t he r eal
r eason y our e holding out ? He leans against t he count er .
Hed nev er under st and why I hav ent slept wit h Rav en.
Hell, Im st ill t r y ing t o figur e it out . It s not t hat I dont want
t o. I want t o, badly . So badly , Iv e had t o sit in a cold shower
for for t y -fiv e minut es aft er making out wit h her . Ev er y t ime
we get close, I hold back. The r eject ion I see in her ey es when I
shut her down makes me want t o kick my own ass.
What if I I dont know, scr ew t hings up?
Owens ey ebr ows hit his hair line. Dude, if pr act ice makes
per fect , y ou should hav e y our PhD in sex. Pr et t y sur e y ou
wont scr ew it up.
That s not what I meant , fuckwad.
He pins me wit h his st ar e. Your e afr aid y our e going t o
lose int er est aft er y ou do it .
I blink my ey es, absor bing his wor ds, and conclude t hat
my fr iend is a genius.
Yes, exact ly , Im afr aid my fucked-up head will r uin
t hings wit h Rav en.
This is differ ent t hough, Jonah. Im t elling y ou t he way
y ou feel about Rav en y ou might as well be a v ir gin t oo. This is
going t o be a fir st for bot h of y ou. Be pr epar ed t o hav e y our
mind blown, my br ot her . Ther e is not hing like making sweet
lov e t o t he gir l y ou feel it for .
I r emain silent , mulling ov er Owens r ev elat ion. Hes
r ight . I hav e a pr oblem wit h get t ing at t ached t o people on an
int imat e lev el. I alway s assumed t hat my hit -em-and-
quit -em ment alit y was int ent ional. That I nev er sleep wit h
t he same gir l t wice because I dont hav e t o.
But Im seeing t hings mor e clear ly . A deep dar k par t of me
whisper s t hat it s because I lost my dad. That get t ing close t o
someone is a r isk because of t he pot ent ial pain in losing t hem.
And hav ing sex wit h Rav en, combined wit h t he fact t hat Ill
be her fir st , will be dev ast at ing. Shell pr obably see it as
solidify ing our r elat ionship, and Ill subconsciously put her in
t he I-came-I-conquer ed file.
Unless Owens r ight . Could it be different this time? It sur e
as shit feels differ ent . Fight ing has alway s dominat ed my
br ain space, unt il her . I hav e t o believ e my old way s wont
fuck t his up for me. I hav e t o.
~*~
Raven
On an impulse, and an ur gent need t o updat e my linger ie
collect ion as new boy fr iend st at us dict at es, I t alked Ev e int o
meet ing me at t he mall. Br owsing ar ound Vict or ias Secr et is
a new exper ience now t hat Im shopping wit h someone in
mind. Ev er y piece I pick up, I imagine Jonahs r eact ion t o it . I
can pict ur e my self in each one, and in doing so, pr act ically
feel his ey es on me.
Things wit h Jonah hav e escalat ed phy sically , but not t o
t he lev el Id hoped. It seems like ev er y t ime Im about t o beg
him t o make lov e t o me, he fr eezes up. Hes not hing like his
r eput at ion, at least , not wit h me. I t ell my self it s because I
mean mor e t o him, but a small v oice in my head t ells me it s
because Im a v ir gin. An ev en smaller , but no less influent ial,
v oice t ells me t hat hes not sur e about us or mor e specifically ,
me.
I hold back a fr ust r at ed gr owl and mov e t o a t able cov er ed
in pant ies.
Your e st ay ing at his place again? Ev e pulls out a pair of
blue leopar d-pr int hip hugger s and t osses t hem in my ar ms.
Yeah. He want s me t o st ay wit h him ev er y night .
Your e so lucky . The guy Im dat ing wont ev en inv it e
me ov er .
I look ov er t o see her wiping her ey es wit h a pair of cot t on
bikini under wear and t hen t ossing t hem back on t he display
t able. Wev e been at Vict or ia Secr et for almost an hour , and
Iv e been so wr apped up wit h Jonah, I nev er ev en asked about
her boy fr iend.
Im a jer k. Sor r y . Her e Im going on about Jonah, and I
nev er asked about , um, what s his name?
She bur st s int o t ear s. I dr ag her back and lock us int o a
dr essing r oom, dr opping my ar m full of st uff and pulling her
int o a hug.
Ev e, what is going on? Did y ou guy s br eak up?
No. She sniffs, and wipes her nose on a pair of pant ies I
was going t o buy . I t hink hes int o me. I mean he t ells me
hes in lov e wit h me ev er y t ime we hav e sex.
Env y cr eeps in at t he t hought t hat Ev es get t ing sex and I
lov e y ou. To be fair , Iv e known t hat Im in lov e wit h Jonah
since my fir st night in his bed, but hav ent t old him. Could it
be possible t hat he feels it t oo, but just hasnt said it ?
So t hen, why ar e y ou cr y ing?
She looks up at me, and I can see t he pain in her ey es.
Hes so secr et iv e. Iv e asked him if hes mar r ied or , like, I
dont know, a member of t he Secr et Ser v ice, but he just
laughs and swear s it s just because hes skit t ish about
r elat ionships. She st r aight ens her shir t and checks her make
up in t he mir r or .
Im sur e hes not mar r ied. Hasnt he gone int o y our
r est aur ant on t he night s y our e wor king? Sur ely he wouldnt
show up at t he r est aur ant his gir lfr iend manages if he
want ed t o keep t he r elat ionship a secr et .
Her ey es dr op t o t he floor . He only came in t he one t ime.
Now we just hang out at my house.
That doesnt sound good.
I wouldnt t hink t he wor st y et . Giv e him some t ime. If
t hings dont get bet t er in t he next few weeks, br eak it off.
She nods and t akes a shaky br eat h. Yeah, y our e r ight .
Sor r y . She manages a sad smile. You want t o t r y any of t his
on? Might as well since wer e in her e.
I st udy t he pile of lace and sat in at my feet . May be one of
t hose will be t he pair t o finally br eak Jonahs ir on r est r aint .
Ill just get t hem all.
~*~
Jonah
Im pulling swor dfish out of t he fr idge t o t hr ow on t he gr ill
for dinner . Rav en say s she cant eat any t hing t hat isnt
micr owav able at her place. Since shes been st ay ing wit h me,
I cook almost ev er y night . Wit h my st r ict t r aining diet ,
eat ing out is next t o impossible.
Rav ens r ecent t ext said she was on her way , and I want t o
get dinner going so she can eat when she get s her e. I shake
my head, cont emplat ing what in t he hell has got t en int o me.
I t old my self Id had enough of t aking car e of people when I
mov ed out of my moms house. Not hing will shov e y ou int o a
lifest y le of par t y ing and ir r esponsibilit y like becoming a man
at t welv e. When I mov ed out at eight een and came t o Vegas, I
was like a big kid in an adult candy st or e.
The sound of my phone bumps me fr om my t hought s. I
check t he caller ID.
Hi, Mom.
Hey , Joey , how ar e y ou?
Rolling my ey es at her nickname for me, I wonder why
she didnt just name me Joey . Im r eally good. How about
y ou?
Im gr eat . Just got back fr om spending t ime wit h Bet h
and t he boy s. They r e get t ing so big.
I r ub my for ehead, r eminding my self t o call my lit t le
sist er Bet h. She liv es in Phoenix wit h her husband Rick and
t win boy s. Things hav e been so hect ic I hav ent st ay ed in
t ouch.
Yeah, I need t o make a t r ip out for a v isit . Ill do t hat
aft er t he fight .
Oh, t hat would be gr eat . Shed lov e t o see y ou. What
hav e y ou been up t o lat ely ?
Just t r aining, get t ing r eady for t he fight . Iv e been
wor king on t he Impala I bought last y ear . I found a gr eat
mechanic whos been coming ov er ev er y day helping me t ake
it apar t , clean it up.
I feel guilt y keeping Rav en a secr et fr om my mom. Shes
not some dir t y indulgence or a passing good t ime. Ev en
t hough Iv e nev er t alked t o my mom about t he r ecr eat ional
gir ls in my past , wit h Rav en, t hings ar e differ ent .
Mom, I want t o t ell y ou I met someone. It s t he mechanic
whos helping me wit h my car . Things ar e get t ing ser ious
bet ween us, and I t hought y ou should know.
Silence.
Mom?
I check t o make sur e our call didnt get dr opped. Nope, st ill
connect ed.
Mom, y ou st ill t her e?
She clear s her t hr oat . Yes, Joey , Im her e.
Why is she act ing so weir d? I know Iv e nev er had a
ser ious gir lfr iend befor e, but I t hought she would be off t he
wall about my finally set t ling down.
What s wr ong? I t hought y oud be excit ed about my
being in a ser ious r elat ionship.
Oh, honey , Im v er y happy for y ou. It s just I guess I
t hought Well, it s just a shock, t hat s all. I alway s t hought
y ou liked gir ls.
My ey es bug out of my head and I choke. I cough t o clear
my v oice. What ? Of cour se, I like gir ls. Wait , Mom, Rav en is
a gir l! Shit , y ou t hought I was t elling y ou I was dat ing a guy ?
Fuck me.
Fir st of all, Joey , y ou wat ch y our mout h. Second, what
was I supposed t o t hink? You t old me y ou wer e dat ing y our
mechanic!
I laugh so har d t hat it br ings t ear s t o my ey es.
No. Rav en is v er y much female. My laught er calms.
Youll meet her when y ou come out for t he fight . Shes been
st ay ing wit h me, so I guess t hat will giv e y ou guy s a chance
t o get t o know each ot her .
Oh, honey , t hat would be wonder ful. I cant wait .
Shit , Ma! You t hought I was gay ! Fuckin hell.
Jonah Ry an Slade, y ou wat ch t hat mout h!
Aft er giv ing her t he det ails Iv e ar r anged for her flight , I
finish up wit h my mom and go back t o pr epar ing dinner .
While pulling out some v eget ables t o gr ill, I hear t he fr ont
door open.
Baby ! Im in her e, I y ell fr om t he kit chen.
The soft beat of her Conv er se against t he t ile floor has me
smiling. Her chest pr esses int o my back as her ar ms wr ap
ar ound my waist .
Hey , she say s soft ly int o my back, and br inging on an
ev en bigger smile.
I t ur n ar ound and wr ap my ar ms ar ound her , placing a
wet kiss against my spot ov er t he t at t oo on her neck. The pear
scent of her hair , combined wit h t he sweet t ast e of her skin, is
a heady mixt ur e. I t r ail kisses along her jaw t hen pull at her
lips wit h mine. Aft er a lit t le coaxing, she t ilt s her head,
alway s eager , but making me wor k for it . Per fect . My t ongue
explor es, gliding against t he r oof of her mout h and her t eet h.
Sucking on her lips, I slowly pull back. We lock ey es, pant ing
and hungr y , giv ing our blood a chance t o cool.
She looks past my ar m at t he fish. Mmm, is t hat
swor dfish? Her v oice car r ies a differ ent kind of hunger .
Yeah, y ou r eady t o eat ?
Mm-hmm.
I gr ab an iced t ea for her , and we head out t o light t he
gr ill. We set t le our selv es at t he bar . It s get t ing war mer , but
t he out door mist ing sy st em and ceiling fans make t he
t emper at ur e per fect for eat ing out side.
How was shopping? I gr ab my self a Muscle Milk fr om
t he out door cooler .
Good. How was y our day ?
I pop t he t op off my dr ink, t ake a swing, and lean a hip on
t he bar . Infinit ely bet t er if t hose bags I hear d y ou dr op at t he
door ar e pink.
How did y ou know? She sips her t ea t hat Iv e sweet ened
and added lemon t o, just like she likes it . Mmm. She t akes
anot her sip.
Babe, if y ou keep t his up, y our e going t o hav e t o t ake on
a sponsor . And Id like t o be t he fir st t o v olunt eer .
I only buy t he st uff t hat s on sale. She set s down her
dr ink and t r aces pat t er ns int o t he condensat ion on t he glass.
I know I dont make much now, but I will. I hav e a plan.
Why am I not sur pr ised? I t ake a few st eps t o t he bar st ool
next t o her and dr op down. What s y our plan?
She shr ugs and dr ops her ey es t o her lap. Her delicat e
hands knot t oget her , somet hing I not ice she does befor e she
opens up about somet hing per sonal, so I wait pat ient ly .
Guy said when he r et ir es hes handing owner ship of t he
shop t o me. He has no childr en of his own, and he knows I lov e
t he gar age.
Really ?
Yeah.
Wow. I lean back and pr op my feet on t he bar .
She fixes me wit h a glar e, but t he shadow of a smile play s
on her lips. Wow? Is it t hat har d t o believ e?
Not a lot of women dr eam of owning t heir own aut o body
shop.
I dont know if y ouv e not iced, her shoulder s slump and
she picks at her nails, Im not like most women.
No, baby , y ou cer t ainly ar e not .
She peer s up at me fr om beneat h her ey elashes. It would
be nice t o own a business, make my own hour s. If Im ev er
lucky enough t o get mar r ied and hav e kids, it ll make t hings
easier . Her cheeks t ur n pink and she hides behind her t ea.
My mind conjur es up images of Rav en, her belly swollen
wit h a baby . And like t he flicker of an old home mov ie,
pict ur es flash of her cr adling a dar k-hair ed infant . Scat t er ed
v isions of dar k pigt ails, t r aining wheels, and ballet r ecit als
manifest behind my ey es.
Holy shit . I gr ind my fist s int o my ey e socket s, r ubbing
out t he fant asy . That has nev er happened t o me befor e.
Nev er .
You okay ?
I shake it off, pull it t oget her , and at t empt t o hide t he full-
fledged fr eak out t hat s bubbling t o t he sur face.
Yeah, fine. Just a-a weir d headache or s-somet hing. I m
fucking stuttering!
Time for ev asiv e maneuv er s. I br eat he deep, and fix my
ey es on her s. The concer n in her face dissolv es int o an easy
smile. I smile back, making sur e it s br ight enough t o expose
bot h dimples. It s a desper at e mov e, but it wor ks. She licks her
full lips, slowly r ubbing t hem t oget her in ant icipat ion of
what s coming. As Im leaning in, happy t o giv e her what she
want s, t he muffled sound of her phone fills t he air .
Whoops, sor r y . She gr abs her phone fr om her pocket .
Glancing down at t he caller ID, her ey ebr ows scr unch and
mout h goes t ight .
Who is it ?
I dont know. I dont r ecognize t he number .
Answer it , baby .
She nods and hit s t he answer but t on befor e pr essing t he
phone t o her ear .
Hello. Her pleasant smile quickly fades. Her body shoot s
r amr od st r aight , and t he color dr ains fr om her face.
Twelve
Jonah
What the hell? Blood pumps in my ear s, and a mild buzz
st ar t s at t he base of my neck.
Im fine. Shes being polit e t o t he my st er y caller , but
her v oice is complet ely v oid of it s usual spunk.
Alar ms fir e in my head.
Her ey es snap up t o mine and widen a fr act ion. Meet
wit h y ou t omor r ow?
Im up fr om my bar st ool and st anding at her side. Less
t han a foot away , Im able t o make out t he v oice coming
t hr ough her phone. I cant hear exact wor ds, but t he low
mumbles ar e undoubt edly male. Fuck.
Um I dont know. I mean, why now? She looks at her
lap and r ubs her for ehead wit h her fr ee hand.
The man on t he phone mumbles on, and she wor r ies her
bot t om lip. Her ey es hit mine, and a t iny spar k of my Rav en
is back. Okay , see y ou t hen.
She hangs up t he phone and st ar es at it in her hand as if
she doesnt know how it got t her e. Then she looks up at me.
Who was t hat ? My v oice is calm, but not in a way t hat
pr ov ides comfor t .
She places t he phone on t he bar like it s made of glass.
That was Dominick.
Adr enaline r ocks my body . My muscles t ense. The buzz in
my head int ensifies wit h ev er y hammer of my hear t .
He want s t o meet wit h me t omor r ow at t en a. m.
No fucking way .
She pins me wit h a glar e. Why not ?
How can she ask me t hat ? I t old her she needed t o st ay
away fr om t hat guy .
Because I said so. I annunciat e ev er y wor d slowly t o
av oid r oar ing in her face, but she st ill flinches.
I t old him Id go. Im going. She say s it wit h such
conv ict ion I cant decide if I want t o shake her or kiss her .
Fine. Im going wit h y ou. This woman is infur iat ing.
Why cant she just do what I say ? I pinch t he br idge of my
nose and close my ey es, t r y ing t o numb t he all-consuming
buzz t hat makes me want t o r ip Dominick Mor r et t i apar t .
No, he said I hav e t o come alone.
My ey es shoot open befor e t hey nar r ow in anger . What !
Why ? Who say s t hat unless t hey r e up t o somet hing? I dont
mean t o y ell, but my fight or flight r eact ion is kicking in and
flight is not in my v ocabular y . What t he fuck, Rav en? I t old
y ou I dont want y ou any wher e near t hat guy , and y ou
pr omised y oud st ay away fr om him!
I know, I pr omised but
But what ? Do y ou hav e any idea what t his guy s like?
Wor d ar ound t own say s hes got his hands in ev er y t hing, not
just pr ost it ut ion. Hes been quest ioned for mur der , dr ugs,
weapons. Shit , Rav en, hes only walking fr ee because hes got
his money so far up law enfor cement s ass Im sur pr ised t hey
dont shit gold.
Please, st op. She whisper s t o her lap.
St op! St op what ? Your psy cho dad calls and want s t o
meet wit h y ou alone, and y ou want me t o sit her e on my
fucking hands and do not hing? God, Rav en! This guy s a
cr iminal. I pace t he ar ound t he bar t o bur n off some
aggr ession. The last t hing I want t o do is scar e her , but fuck.
If y ou t hink Im going t o let y ou meet t hat dickhead alone,
y our e cr azy .
She sniffs and wipes her ey es. Ah, crap. I br eat he in and
out of my nose and count t o t en. My hear t r at e slows enough
t hat it s no longer t hr obbing in my ear s as I wr angle my wild
impulses.
Baby , Im sor r y . I smoot h her hair behind her ear . I
didnt mean t o scar e y ou. I just lost it for a second.
She wipes t he t ear s fr om her cheek. You dont
under st and.
Closing t he space bet ween us, I pull her chin up t o look in
her ey es. Explain it t o me.
Ev er since I was a kid, Id dr eamed t hat one day he would
come along and ask for me. Ev en aft er I found out what he
was, I st ill want ed him. Her ey es look away , but I dont
r elease her chin. I st ill want ed a dad.
Her wor ds shoot t hr ough my r age, st r aight t o my hear t . I
wouldnt giv e up t he t welv e y ear s I had wit h my dad for
any t hing. And as painful as it was t o lose him, I had a dad
who lov ed me. Rav ens nev er felt t hat .
Who am I t o say t hat Dominicks int ent ions ar ent good?
May be he does want a r elat ionship wit h Rav en. Id bet my
balls t hat s not t r ue, but if I dont allow her t o find out for
her self, if I st and bet ween her and t he possibilit y , shell nev er
for giv e me.
I br ush my t humb along her lower lip, feeling it quiv er
beneat h my t ouch. Okay , baby . I get it .
Her ey es smile t hr ough her t ear s and she kisses my
t humb.
Wit h a t ug, shes up fr om her bar st ool. I wr ap my ar ms
ar ound her waist . She locks her hands behind my neck,
holding me t o her .
Youll call me when y ou get t her e. Im so close t o her
mout h, I can smell t he sweet t ea on her br eat h.
Yes. Her answer is br eat hy and full of need.
My girl. Alway s so r esponsiv e.
She put s pr essur e on my neck t o br ing me t o her , but Im
not finished.
And y oull call me when y our e finished. I slide my
hands down t o her ass, dr awing her hips closer .
Mm-hmm. Her answer comes out on a moan.
Not when y ou get in y our car , not when y ou get home,
but when y our e walking away , y ou call me. I t ight en my
hold t o make sur e she under st ands. Im not fucking ar ound.
Yes, Jonah, Ill do any t hing. Just kiss me, please.
That s mor e like it .
I dr op a soft kiss against her lips. She pushes up on her
t ipt oes, pr essing har d against me sear ching for my lips, but I
hold back. She whines ador ably , and I r ewar d her by
feat her ing anot her kiss on her lips.
Please.
Her final plea shat t er s t he last of my cont r ol. I cov er her
mout h wit h mine. My hand slides up her shir t along her
spine, desper at e t o feel her skin. She ar ches her back, and
pulls me in, shift ing her weight so t hat our t or sos ar e
t ouching fr om chest t o hip.
Wit h her body soft and pliable in my hands, t he t ast e of
her t ongue flooding my mout h, my chest t ight ens wit h
feelings Im only beginning t o name. She owns me
complet ely . The pull I felt t owar d her when we met , waking
up wit h her in my ar ms, my conv er sat ion wit h Owen, my
compulsion t o pr ot ect her , ev er y t hing jumbles in my head
unt il need coils in my st er num. Not t he usual need t hat r ips
at me, but somet hing st r onger . It s been seeping in slowly and
now cr ushes me fr om t he inside out .
I hold her t o me, hoping t he st r engt h in my ar ms will
giv e me t he power t o do what Iv e nev er done befor e. Br eaking
t he kiss, her ey es lock on mine, quest ioning. Ev en t hr ough
my ner v ousness, in t his moment , not hing has looked as clear
or as obv ious.
I lov e y ou, Rav en.
She gasps and her body jer ks. She looks at me as if seeing
me for t he fir st t ime. Her shaky hand cov er s her mout h. Her
head r ocks back and for t h slowly in what looks like disbelief.
She doesnt say it back and I dont car e. I lov e her . If shes not
t her e y et , Ill wait as long as it t akes unt il she is.
Wit hout war ning, she launches int o me, our lips fusing
t oget her in wild passion. Her t ongue slides int o my mout h
along wit h a soft moan t hat shoot s t o my t hr oat . I t ilt her
head t o plunge in deep, walking her backwar ds t o t he closest
lounger . I cr av e Rav en in a way t hat makes t he dozen y ar ds
t o t he house seem like miles.
Lay ing her back, I br ace my body abov e her s t o keep fr om
cr ushing her . I flex my hips int o t he war mt h bet ween her
legs. She gr inds int o me, and I fight t he ur ge t o claim her
her e by t he pool. Not like t his. She deser v es bet t er .
I mov e t o my spot at her neck and feel her r acing pulse
against my t ongue. Her hands slide fr om my lower back t o
my st omach wher e she r uns her finger s along t he waist line of
my shor t s. She pulls at my zipper .
Not y et , baby . Soon, but not t onight , I whisper against
her skin befor e nipping at her ear lobe.
Her hands fall away on a hopeless sigh. I nuzzle her neck
t o av oid t he look of r eject ion t hat Im sur e color s her face. My
body scr eams t o join wit h her s. To show her how deep my
feelings r un. But Id nev er for giv e my self for t aking her in my
backy ar d like a cheap par t y dat e.
Baby , Im sor r y . I want y ou, I do. But y ou deser v e
It s okay . But y ou said soon. Pr omise?
I gr imace at t he deject ed sound in her v oice.
My lips skat e along her jawline t o her mout h. Yes. I
pr omise.
Sliding my hand against t he smoot h skin of her belly , she
wr it hes against me. I pull her shir t ov er her head and t ake in
her br ight gr een br a. My t humbs make fir m passes ov er t he
sensit iv e t ips t hr ough t he silk. Feeling isnt enough. I need t o
see t hem. I t ug t he fabr ic down, r eleasing her full br east s t o
t he t epid night air . Fucking gorgeous.
I kiss t he v alley bet ween t hem, br eat hing in her subt le
sweet fr agr ance. She ar ches her back in a silent plea. I smile
against her eager lit t le body befor e t aking her br east s int o
my mout h, fir st one and t hen t he ot her . The sweet t ast e of
her delicat e skin incr eases my appet it e for mor e.
I pop t he but t on of her shor t s, and she lift s her hips for me
t o slide t hem down her legs.
Good gir l.
Jonah
Dont wor r y , baby . Ill t ake car e of y ou.
Her ey es flar e and she bit es her lip. I t ake a deep br eat h
and r emind my self t o t ake it slow. This isnt t he get in, get out
oper at ion Im used t o. For t he fir st t ime, Im not t hinking of
my own needs. Only about t aking Rav ens body t o new places,
t o expr ess what I feel emot ionally t hr ough lov ing her
phy sically .
Her lips cur l in a wicked gr in as she shimmies off her
mat ching lace pant ies. I wat ch in awe as she r ev eals her
per fect body t o me. Sit t ing up t o unhook her br a, she r emov es
t he last scr ap of cov er ing, my gaze held fir m by her seduct iv e
show. Shes complet ely exposed, and I st ar e in wonder as she
falls back on t he lounger , legs par t ed.
Your e st unning. My v oice sounds heav y and r ough
wit h desir e.
I r ip my shir t off ov er my head and t oss it behind me. My
lips ache wit h t he ur ge t o t ast e ev er y inch of her oliv e skin.
Hmm, I was just t hinking t he same t hing.
I r un my hands along her t highs, her knees falling wide
open in r esponse. Rav en, I need t o t ast e y ou.
She nods her head once, her body y ielding t o my ev er y
t ouch. Perfect.
Taking my t ime, I kiss t he t ender skin of her inner t high.
Wit h t easingly long swipes of my t ongue, I giv e her a sample
of what s t o come. Her heels dig int o t he lounger , and she
pushes her hips up, sear ching for cont act . Just t he inv it at ion
I need.
I t ake my fir st t ast e and gr owl in pleasur e. So sweet. I
fight t he ur ge dev our her , want ing t o t ake my t ime and
make it last . She moans and r olls her hips. I look up t he
lengt h of her t oned st omach t o see her ey es squeezed shut .
That won t do.
I back off. Baby , look at me.
Her ey es lock on mine, passion swir ling in t heir blue-
gr een dept hs. I slow down, but maint ain ey e cont act . Ev er y
hit ch of her br eat h st imulat es my need t o please her .
This is so differ ent . And mor e ar ousing t han any t hing Iv e
exper ienced in t he past . My lov e t akes a fr ont seat t o my
body s desir e for r elease.
I st ar e, absor bed in t he v isual of her mout h dr opped open
as she pant s for br eat h. Her bar e chest heav es wit h ev er y
flick of my t ongue. Moans t ur n int o desper at e cr ies and her
legs quake. Slow is no longer an opt ion. I want not hing mor e
t han t o hold her , t o feel her against my lips while she falls
apar t for me. Her hips push and r oll, seeking. I lock my hands
on her hips, holding her st ill, and giv e int o her body s
demands.
She gr abs a fist ful of my hair , holding me t o her , pr essing
me deeper . Her v oice cat ches and she calls out my name in
r elease. Moans of pleasur e fall fr om her lips, and t he sound
sends shockwav es st r aight bet ween my legs. My st omach
t ight ens, and I flex my hips int o t he lounger , gr oaning at t he
r elief in t he fr ict ion. I cont inue unt il she squir ms, unable t o
giv e her up. Wit h a final, t ender kiss, I pull away . She falls
back, her body sat ed and limp.
My girl. Her ey es ar e closed, and Im ent r anced by t he r ise
and fall of her br east s as she br eat hes. I gent ly pr ess her legs
t oget her , r emov ing my self fr om in bet ween, t o climb in next
t o her . Mov ing her hair fr om her damp face, her ey es flut t er
open.
That was amazing. I mar v el in t he beaut y of her
sat isfied expr ession.
I t hought t hat was my line. Her sexy post -or gasm v oice
v ibr at es in a way t hat I feel in my shor t s.
I gr ab a t owel fr om t he t able next t o us and cov er her
naked body .
Do y ou want t o go inside? I t r ace t he delicat e angles of
her face wit h my finger t ip.
Her mout h t ilt s t o a gr in. I hav e a bet t er idea.
She pushes her self up off t he lounger , leav ing t he t owel
behind. Wit h her back t owar d me, I admir e t he luscious
cur v es of her bar e flesh in t he moonlight . She winks at me
ov er her shoulder and, wit h a small bend of her knees, she
jumps int o t he pool. Skinny dipping? Hell, yeah!
Kicking off my shor t s, I jump in aft er her , keenly awar e of
my killer har d-on t hat ev en t he cool wat er wont t ame.
She float s on her back, and I shamelessly gawk at her
per fect br east s poking out fr om t he wat er . Cat ching my st ar e,
she swims ov er t o me in t he shallow end.
It s y our t ur n, she say s as she pushes me back t o t he
st eps of t he pool.
My hear t pounds in my chest . Does she mean what I t hink
she means?
Sit . She dir ect s me t o sit on t he t op st ep wher e t he wat er
is t he shallowest .
Ey es st ill locked on mine, she pulls my legs apar t and
cr awls bet ween t hem. Her soft , slick body br ushes t he insides
of my t highs, heat ing my ov er sensit iv e skin. Wit h her knees
on t he st ep below me, she pr ops her self up t o meet my ey es.
Her br east s dr ip wit h pool wat er and sex appeal.
Iv e nev er done t his befor e, so dont expect much. Ev en
in t he dim light , I cat ch t he r ed t hat color s her cheeks.
Rav en, y ou dont hav e t o do t his.
She places her finger against my lips, silencing fur t her
pr ot est .
Was I just t alking her out of giv ing me a blow job? That s
a fir st .
Ill just , um, go for it , but if I do somet hing wr ong, will
y ou show me? Her innocent ey es implor e mine.
No way y ou could do it wr ong, baby . Im almost t her e
just list ening t o y ou t alk about it .
Wit h a nod and a smile, she sit s back on her heels. Her wet
sexy body glist ens in t he dar k, and I know Im not going t o
last long. She looks down and licks her lips, t hen t akes me int o
her mout h. Sucking in a br eat h, I dig my t eet h int o my lower
lip t o keep fr om gr oaning in pleasur e. My hands fist in her
damp hair , not t o cont r ol her speed or car ess, but in pur e
animal possession.
To t hink t hat I could exper ience t his all-consuming lust ,
as well as t he soul-shackling lov e t hat I would die t o keep, is
life changing. This t iny gir l who wor ks on car s, laughs at
st upid jokes, and blushes at t he slight est flir t at ion is mine.
Ther e is not hing I wouldnt do for her . I would spend t he r est
of my life making her happy if shed let me.
So t his is lov e.
My life will nev er be t he same.
I pull her hand fr om my t high and wr ap it ar ound
my self, guiding her st r okes befor e leav ing her t o it . Her
v elv et y t ouch st r iking deep in my cor e, my hips push off t he
st ep. She leans in, t he silky push fr om her br east s at my
t highs dr opping my head back. Sensat ions combine wit h
hunger and lov e, and fuck My st omach t ight ens, my r elease
coiling in my abdomen. Iv e got seconds.
Baby , st op. I lose her mout h as a delir ious gr oan falls
fr om my lips. I unr av el in her hand. Her t ight lit t le fist
cont inues t o pump and t he euphor ia int ensifies. What the hell?
Im pant ing, color s swir ling behind my ey elids. My legs t ense
as Im r ocked wit h aft er shocks. Oh shit . I blink open my
ey es, fascinat ed t hat Rav ens fir st blowjob is t he most
consuming sexual exper ience Iv e ev er had.
Im sor r y . Did I hur t y ou? Her ar ms ar e wr apped
ar ound her chest , a concer ned expr ession on her per fect face.
I fight what could v er y well be a goofy smile, and lose.
Hur t me? I lean in, elbows t o knees. Does it look like t hat
hur t me?
Pushing off fr om t he st ep, I meet her in t he shallow end. I
walk her back t o t he side of t he pool and gat her her in my
ar ms. Her muscles r elax against my own.
Baby , t his has been t he most amazing night of my life.
Ev er y t hing about it is per fect , including t hat kick-ass blow
job y ou just gav e me.
Her giggles er upt against my chest , and I kiss t he t op of
her head.
I lov e y ou, Rav en, I say int o her hair .
She t ilt s her chin up, r est ing it on my chest . Her wet hair
is slicked back, black ey elashes t hick wit h wat er , and her lips
deep r ed and swollen fr om t aking me. Her st ar e bor es int o
mine, and I wat ch somet hing heav y wor king in her
aquamar ine ey es.
I lov e y ou t oo.
Thirteen
Raven
Im pulling out of Jonahs gar age at exact ly nine t went y -
eight a. m. Im second-guessing t hat t hir d cup of coffee, my
hands shake on t he st eer ing wheel, and my empt y belly
chur ns. Ther es no way I can eat unt il t his meet ing wit h
Dominick is ov er . Tr y ing t o calm my angr y st omach, I r oll
down t he window for some fr esh air . My mind wander s back
t o last night in an at t empt t o soot he my ner v es.
Ly ing in bed, wr apped in Jonahs ar ms, I found t he
cour age t o t ell him why I hav e t o meet wit h Dominick. As a
lit t le gir l, Id day dr eam about him pulling up t o our house.
Hed hav e a big box in his hands, wr apped in pink paper . I
pict ur ed him kneeling down and t elling me how much he
missed me. That hed made a huge mist ake in sev er ing
himself fr om my life, and t hat he was going t o make up for
lost t ime. He would beg for for giv eness. Id finally get t he dad
I needed.
It s because of t hat dr eam t hat I hav e t o meet wit h
Dominick. Ev en if it s on his t er ms, Ill do it . I owe it t o t hat
lit t le gir l.
Lux, t he high-r ise condominium just off t he st r ip, comes
int o v iew. I t ake a r ight int o t he cir cle dr iv eway . A v alet
scur r ies t o my door . On his heels is a t all, br oad man, in a
black suit . His for mal at t ir e at t en in t he mor ning is unusual
for a summer in Las Vegas. Is he a lawy er ? He looks mor e like
a hit man.
I ignor e t he v alet s pr offer ed hand and st ep out of my car .
Suit guy st eps t o me, a for ced-looking smile plast er ed
acr oss his wide face. Good mor ning, Miss Mor r et t i.
My ey es nar r ow at him. How does he know me? Um,
good mor ning.
Mr . Mor r et t i is wait ing for y ou. He mot ions for me t o
follow him int o t he building.
Pushing t hr ough t he r ot at ing door int o t he lobby , t he
smell of floor wax and fr esh flower s fills my nose. The
int r icat e-car v ed, dar k wood r ecept ion desk and mar ble floor
scr eam money . I smoot h my cot t on shir t in r esponse.
We r each t he elev at or t hat has only one but t on wit h t he
let t er s PH on it . As we ascend in silence, I t ake in t he man in
fr ont of me. He must be a body guar d. He isnt as t all as Jonah,
but hes almost as wide. Ev er y one of t he light br own hair s on
his head is st uck in place by a decent amount of hair pr oduct .
The diamond ear r ing in his left ear lobe is far t oo big for a
mans ear .
The elev at or comes t o a st op and t he door s slide open.
Aft er y ou. He say s it in a way t hat would be polit e if his
t one wasnt so condescending. Wit hout r eason, Id say t his
guy doesnt like me. Now Im r eally ner v ous.
Thanks.
St epping t hr ough t he elev at or door s, I find my self in
anot her lobby . This one is smaller , but no less ext r av agant .
At t he opposit e end is an enor mous double door t hat pr obably
cost mor e t han my car . As I walk t owar ds it , I not ice t he
et ched glass door s depict a holy war wit h angels and demons
swir ling in a v icious bat t le. The v isual put s a looming dr ead
in t he air .
Body guar d guy knocks t wice on t he t hick glass, making
me jump. Calm down, Raven. Im fr eaking my self out . The
door opens, and a pet it e blond gir l wear ing a skint ight t ank
t op dr ess and no shoes let s us in. I t r y t o gr eet her , but her
gaze is locked on her feet . Im t aken t o an office wher e Im t old
t o sit and t hat Mr . Mor r et t i will be wit h me shor t ly .
A lar ge desk looms in t he back of t he r oom, only one chair
in fr ont of it . Guess that s for me. I sit and st ar e out t he floor -
t o-ceiling window behind t he desk. I bet t he v iew fr om her e at
night is one of t he best in t he cit y .
Minut es pass and my knee bounces. The heel of my foot
pounds a fast , r hy t hmic beat int o t he floor . It seems like Iv e
been wait ing an et er nit y . My nails ar e chewed t o t he quick
befor e I hear t he door open behind me. The air get s heav y and
t he r oom seems smaller . I dont hav e t o t ur n ar ound t o know
t hat Dominick is walking in behind me.
I hav ent seen him in fiv e y ear s, and ev en t hen, it was
only for t he minut es it t ook for him t o dr op off a package t o
my mom. I expect ed him t o look older , but hes exact ly t he
same. His blond hair and familiar aquamar ine ey es ar e set off
by his dar k t an. A r adiant smile light s his face, a char ming
faade t hat manipulat es wit hout effor t .
Rav en, dar ling, y ou look exquisit e, he say s like a pr oper
gent leman.
War ning signals blar e in my head, but I br ush t hem off as
ner v es. Thank y ou.
He walks ar ound his desk and sit s in his chair opposit e me.
You met Vince? He nods t owar d t he man ov er my shoulder .
I t ur n and see body guar d guy st anding in fr ont of t he
closed door s, blocking any escape. My pulse r aces.
I should hav e list ened t o Jonah. Unease adv ances int o
fear . But why ? He may not know me, but t hat doesnt change
t he fact t hat hes my biological fat her . Im safe. Then why do I
feel like r unning?
I need t o get t o t he point so t hat I can get t he heck out of
her e as soon as possible. You want ed t o see me?
Yes. He clear s his t hr oat . I hav e a job offer for y ou.
I hav e a job, but t hank y ou. I st and t o leav e.
Sit ! he bar ks, making me feel like a misbehav ing dog.
Oh God, t his is bad.
I hav e a job offer for y ou, Rav en. And y ou cant say no.
His pr ev ious soft t one is now for ceful.
I dont under st and.
Ev er y t hing I know about Dominick is cor r upt . What could
he possibly want wit h me?
You know, Rav en, when I fir st st ar t ed in t his business, I
was ar ound y our age. I was y oung, r ich, and dr unk wit h
power . He r olls a gold pen bet ween his finger s. I got bor ed
easily . I knew fr om t he moment I saw y our mot her she was
somet hing special. Ev er y t hing about her scr eamed sex: t he
way she mov ed, t he way she spoke. Id nev er met any one like
her . It s as if she wer e made for t he singular pur pose of
pleasing men. I had t o hav e her . Depr av it y shines in his
ey es.
Saliv a r ushes int o my mout h and panic gr ips my insides.
I had t o hav e her , Rav en, for t wo r easons. Fir st , t o
capit alize on her God-giv en gift s for pr ofit . He spear s me
wit h a glar e. And second t o breed. The last wor d he
st r et ches out as a snake would if it could t alk.
Breed? Like a dog? I know t hen Im looking int o t he ey es of
t he dev il himself.
So t hat s what I did. I used y our mot her t o cr eat e anot her
like her . The next gener at ion, if y ou will, t o meet t he gr owing
demands of my business.
I dont want t o hear any mor e. Tear s pool in my ey es as I
r ealize what kind of job hes offer ing me.
You want me t o be a hooker for y ou. This cant be
happening. He want s t o sell my body for sex? My own dano,
I cant br ing my self t o think of him as t hat .
Hooker is such an ugly wor d, he t sks. I pr efer escor t .
But , y es, t hat s what y ou wer e cr eat ed for . That s why I made
y ou. It s t ime y ou fulfill y our pur pose.
No! I wont do it . You cant make me do it !
Tear s t r ail down my face, and Im pissed he sees me weak.
I can make y ou do it and I will. Ill giv e y ou a couple
weeks, say , unt il y our t went y -fir st bir t hday . That should
giv e y ou enough t ime t o t ie up any loose ends. Then y oull be
mov ed int o one of my apar t ment s, he declar es wit h a wav e
of his hand like a king on his t hr one of immor alit y .
Fuck y ou! Im scar ed out of my mind and a lit t le bit
cr azy , because as t he fier ce cur se flies fr om my mout h, I cant
help but t hink Blake would be pr oud.
Hmm, y our e feist y . You must get t hat fr om me. Your
mot her nev er ar gued, nev er fought , and nev er said a wor d
r eally . He t hought fully r ubs his chin. Let me put it t o y ou
t his way . You will do as y our e t old, or I will slowly pick off
ev er y single per son y ou lov e.
No, no, no, no!
Your e a monst er .
An ev il smile cur ls his lips. Ill st ar t wit h t hat sweet lit t le
fr iend of y our s, Ev e. My hands and feet t ingle and t hen go
numb.
Then, Ill wor k my way t o Guy and y our mot her .
Numbness mov es up my ar ms and legs t o my abdomen.
And last , but not least , his v oice car r ies a sing-song
t one, Ill end wit h t hat Neander t hal y ouv e been liv ing wit h,
Jonah.
The final blow.
Hear t , mind, and soul. Numb.
Im no longer cr y ing as my body and mind assimilat e
infor mat ion. His wor ds spin in my head ov er and ov er like a
t ilt -a-whir l: br eed, hooker , ev er y one I lov e.
The pr edicament hit s me like a hur r icane. In danger of
passing out , I gr ip t he ar ms of my chair . This isn t happening. I
lean for war d and put my head bet ween my knees, hoping t o
gat her my bear ings.
This is Las Vegas, dar ling. You know how easy it would
be t o make someone disappear ? Bur y t hem in a dir t hole out
in t he deser t ? Alt hough, I wont make it quick, Ill hav e my
fun wit h t hem fir st .
St op, please. Just please st op. I r ock back and for t h,
my hands fist ed in my hair . I hear a low keening sound, and
r ealize it s coming fr om my mout h. I pinch my ey es closed
t ight , pr ay ing t o wake up fr om t his night mar e.
And her e I t hought he might want t o know me. That
may be he missed t he daught er he nev er knew. How could I be
so stupid?
Why now? Why not when I t ur ned eight een? My v oice
is pleading and desper at e for answer s.
In my business, it s impor t ant t he gir ls ar e of legal
dr inking age. This helps t o av oid unwant ed at t ent ion fr om
t he local aut hor it ies. But mor e impor t ant ly , I needed
lev er age. Your e quit e t he loner , dar ling: nev er had a
boy fr iend, v er y few fr iends. I had Guy and Ev e, but t hey
wer ent enough. Once y ou st ar t ing pr act ically liv ing wit h
t he Slade boy , it was t ime. He st r aight ens his cuffs and
t wist s t heir links. His gaze swings t o mine. Do y ou lov e
him?
I r oll my lips int o my mout h, r efusing t o answer him.
Ah, y es. And it seems y our e st ill a v ir gin as well.
Fr om behind me, Vince muffles his laugh. Mor t ificat ion
and anger mix, ignit ing my face in a fur ious blush. Im
appalled t hat he could speak so fr eely wit h his own flesh and
blood.
Dont look so shocked. Sex is my business. I can t ell by
y our blush y ou st ill r et ain y our innocence. That will wor k
well for me and my business.
Bile bur ns my t hr oat . I wish I had eat en so I could v omit
all ov er Dominicks pr et ent ious Or ient al r ug. I hat e him for
what hes pr oposing and for what he did t o my mom. I want t o
pounce on him and fight like a maniac. Adr enaline fills my
body as I cont emplat e t he r isks inv olv ed wit h t aking him on
her e in his office.
Is t oday a good day t o die?
He leans for war d, r est ing bot h elbows on his desk. His ey es
bor e int o mine, making me r ecoil.
Rav en, if y ou fight me, Ill shoot so much her oin in y our
ar m, y ou wont know what day it is. Ill keep y ou so addict ed
y oull be begging for it . Youll liv e out y our day s on a st r eet
cor ner , sucking off fr at boy s for t went y bucks a pop. You come
peacefully and be a good gir l, y oull hav e a life v er y similar t o
t hat of y our mot her . I suppose I could make it ev en bet t er ,
seeing as y ou ar e my daught er .
Im not y our daught er !
He looks down his nose, st udy ing me like a piece of ar t hes
consider ing buy ing. No, I suppose y our e not . Mor e like t he
pr oduct of a per fect ly execut ed exper iment .
I would r at her die a slow, painful deat h t han wor k for
y ou. My hands ar e wr apped so t ight ly ar ound t he ar ms of
t he chair t hat my palms bur n.
Well, he sit s back, checking out what I assume t o be
fr eshly manicur ed nails, t hat , t oo, can be ar r anged, he
hisses wit h cont empt .
A defeat ed whimper bur st s fr om my lips. The hor r ific
sound confir ms my lack of opt ions. I dont hav e an out .
So y ou agr ee? The day aft er y our t went y -fir st bir t hday ,
Ill send for y ou.
I t hought My whisper ed wor ds ar ent meant t o be
hear d.
You t hought what , dar ling?
I look up fr om my lap and st ar e at t he man whos just
r ipped my hear t out and st omped on it for spor t . I hat e y ou.
A slow smile st r et ches acr oss his face. Ver y well. Iv e
alway s been a sucker for a challenge.
I hav e no memor y of how I got back in my car . I dont
r emember walking, but I dont believ e I was car r ied. All I
know is Im sit t ing in t he v alet dr iv eway , st one st ill, st ar ing
st r aight ahead, wonder ing wher e t o go and what t o do.
And just like t hat , r ight when my life st ar t s looking
beaut iful, it disappear s like a mir age in t he deser t .
~*~
Jonah
Aw fuck, not again! Blake t hr ows his ar ms int o t he air ,
and st omps t o t he bench.
Two oclock. No missed calls. Shit.
Somet hings not r ight .
Iv e checked my phone ev er y t hir t y minut es for t he last
t hr ee hour s, and st ill no wor d fr om Rav en. I agr eed t o let her
go meet wit h Dominick alone t his mor ning, ev en when
ev er y t hing in me was scr eaming it was a big mist ake.
Im done for t he day , I call out t o whoev er s list ening,
not bot her ing t o look up fr om checking for t ext messages.
Good. You hav ent r eally been her e any way . You got
t hat fuckin phone st uck up y our ass when wer e supposed t o
be t r aining.
Usually I would jump all ov er Blake and his at t it ude. Not
now.
I lean against t he oct agon chain link and t r y her cell.
St r aight t o v oicemail. My t eam files out and t owar d t he
locker r oom, each one gr umbling.
Owen linger s, his ey es on me. Yo, Jonah. You all r ight ,
man?
Huh? I look up fr om my phone int o t he concer ned ey es
of Owen t hen back and hit send. Oh, y eah. Fine.
What s going on? Your e pr eoccupied. Ev er y t hing okay
wit h Rav en?
Just hear ing her name makes me br eak out in a panic-
induced sweat .
Um I dont know. She met wit h her dad t oday , and
t hey dont r eally get along. I hav ent hear d fr om her . Im
wor r ied.
Oh, t hat s it ? Im sur e shes fine, pr obably just got t o
t alking and r eminiscing about old t imes. I mean how bad can
he be t hat
It s Dominick Mor r et t i.
Owens easy demeanor disappear s as his dar k skin dr ains
of color . We lock ey es. Yeah, now he get s it . Ev er y one knows
Dominick Mor r et t i would walk ov er t he dead bodies of his own
childr en t o get t o a dollar .
Let s go. Owens st or ms fr om t he oct agon.
Wait ! Wher e ar e we going?
He doesnt slow his pace. Wer e gonna find her . I say we
check her place fir st .
Ill gr ab my key s.
***
We pull up t o Guy s Gar age and I see Rav ens car in t he
l ot . Thank you, God. I pop my head int o t he gar age and ask
Guy if hes seen her . He t ells me she showed up a few hour s
ago but went st r aight t o her place say ing she wasnt feeling
well.
My feet mov e like t hey r e on fir e t o t he alley . I jump up
t he st air s, t aking t hr ee at a t ime. My fist pounds on t he door
as adr enaline cour ses t hr ough my v eins. I need t o see t hat my
gir l is okay .
Rav en, baby , y ou t her e? It s me. Open up.
Not hing.
I knock again.
Open up, Rav en!
Not hing.
Panic sur ges and t he buzz at t he base of my neck shoot s t o
my br ain, clouding r at ional t hinking.
Rav en! Open t he fucking door !
Im about t o flip t he swit ch and r ip t his piece of shit door
down wit h my bar e hands, when a fir m hand on my shoulder
dir ect s me t o st ep aside. Owen is t her e and he t akes my place.
Pr incess, it s Owen. You dont open up t his door , Im
gonna kick it down. We need t o get t o y ou.
Not hing.
Shit! Im in full fr eak-out mode. I know Owen feels it
r olling off me in wav es by t he way his ey es dar t fr om my
fist ed hands t o my clenched jaw. I r oll my head ar ound on my
neck, pr epar ing t o bust open t he door . Owen t akes one st ep
back.
Boom!
Splint er ing wood flies all ar ound us, t he r esult of Owens
fr ont kick. He st eps in and pushes aside t he flimsy door t hat
hangs lopsided fr om it s hinges. I push past him and int o t he
st udio.
I st op shor t upon ent er ing and hold my br eat h. In t he
middle of her bed, cur led up in t he fet al posit ion, is Rav en. Id
t hink she was sleeping if not for her soft gut t ur al moans.
Seeing her so br oken sober s t he r aging beast in my head. I
go t o her and climb in behind her , my fr ont t o her back.
Wr apping my ar ms ar ound her t iny body , I bur y my face in
her hair .
Baby . Shh, it s okay . Im her e now.
Her body goes solid for a second or t wo befor e it s wr acking
wit h sobs. Her cr ies of anguish make me hold t ight er as if I
can somehow t ake her pain away by t he sheer st r engt h in my
ar ms.
Rav en? Shh, it s going t o be okay . Im her e. Your e safe. I
lov e y ou, baby . Come back t o me.
My ey es st ar t t o bur n. The pain in her cr ies is t angible,
making t he air t hick and har d t o br eat he.
What happened? Talk t o me.
I kiss her t ender ly and encour age her t o t ur n and face me.
She does, but only t o bur y her self in my chest and cr y
har der . The sight of her t ear -st r eaked face and r ed-r immed
ey es make me downr ight homicidal. Fr om t he looks of it , shes
been cr y ing for a while.
Im going t o kill t hat mot her fucker !
I dont know how long I lay t her e wit h Rav en in my ar ms.
Her br eat hing ev ens out , and she t akes a long shaky br eat h.
It s ov er . Her v oice is quiet and dev oid of emot ion. My
life, no mat t er what happens, is ov er .
What do y ou mean? I smoot h my hand t hr ough her
hair . Your life isnt ov er .
She pushes her self up on t he bed. I look t o t he door and see
no sign of Owen.
What happened? My v oice is shar p wit h wor r y . I fight
t he r oar ing in my head and focus on keeping my cool. What
did he do t o y ou?
I swing my legs ov er t he side of t he bed and somet hing
cr unches under my feet . It s a br oken pict ur e fr ame. In t he
mess of glass and shat t er ed wood is t he pict ur e of Rav ens
mom.
What t he hell is going on?
I pull Rav en int o my lap, and she cur ls int o my body like
she was made t o be t her e.
Then, she st ar t s t o t alk.
Fourteen
Raven
My head t hr obs as I blink open my swollen ey es. The r oom
is dar k except for t he dim light t hat shines t hr ough t he
window. It s ev ening. I r oll fr om my side ont o my back and
know inst ant ly t hat Im in Jonahs bed. My hand r eaches for
him, but t he cool sheet s t ell me hes not t her e. He br ought me
her e aft er Id cr ied my self dr y in his ar ms, snuggled in t ight
t o t he safet y and war mt h of his t ouch, holding me as if Id
float away if he didnt gr ound me.
Thought s of Dominick inv ade my mind, like an ar my hell
bent on er adicat ing my hope. Shame and embar r assment
st r angle any pr ide I hav e left . I bur y my face in t he pillow,
pr essing in deep, r obbing my self of oxy gen and welcoming t he
ache in my lungs. The life Id built for my self, fr iends, Jonah,
all of it was er ased in less t han an hour . Im chained t o t he
ugliness, caged in a night mar e wit h no chance of escape.
I become a pr ost it ut e, or ev er y one I lov e dies.
I t ur n my head and gasp for air , sucking t he life-giv ing
oxy gen int o my lungs. Rubbing my ey es, I t r y t o er ase t he
memor ies of t he pain I saw in Jonahs face. He t old me wed
figur e it out , t hat , t oget her , wed come up wit h somet hing.
Impossible.
Reaching ov er , I click on t he lamp. Ther es a glass of
wat er on t he bedside t able along wit h t wo Ty lenol. I gr ab t he
pills and t oss t hem t o t he back of my dr y mout h. I swallow
against t he st ing in my aching t hr oat as it dr aws my
at t ent ion away fr om t he pain in my hear t . The glass dr ained,
I push my legs ov er t he side of t he bed, giv ing my body a
second t o acclimat e t o being upr ight . Im no longer wear ing
my jeans and shir t , but Im in one of Jonahs t -shir t s. I pull
t he fabr ic t o my nose and br eat he in deep, his scent a r epr iev e
t o my anguish.
Ty ing my hair in a low knot , I head out t o find Jonah. I
fr eeze in t he hallway at t he sound of t wo male v oices. Jonahs
v oice is as r ecognizable as my own, but who is t he ot her ? I
t ipt oe closer and make t he v oice out t o be Owen. Veiled in t he
shadows, I list en in.
I hav e t oo much t o lose. I cant affor d t o lose ev er y t hing.
Dude, I get t hat , I do. But just giv e it some t ime. You
might find a way t o figur e somet hing out .
What ot her choice do I hav e? I hav e t o end t his.
Your e going t o hur t her .
Silence, t hen, I know.
I dont like it , Jonah. Shes been t hr ough so much
alr eady . Shes not going t o handle t his well. You hav e t o know
t hat . Silence. All r ight , at least do it sooner t han lat er . Like
pulling off a Band-Aid, just get it ov er wit h.
Yeah, I will.
My hear t plummet s int o an icy black hole. It s impossible
t o br eat he past t he const r ict ing bur n in my chest . I bend at
t he waist , hands on my knees, t r y ing not t o pass out . My head
pounds wit h t he beat of my r acing hear t . I pr ay t hat t he
numbing will come and ease t he ache, but my body t akes no
pr isoner s as my st omach coils in agony . I lean my back
against t he wall, pr essing my finger s t o my st er num, as if I
could phy sically push back t he pain. The slight st ing is on my
cheeks fr om t he t ear s I didnt know Id cr ied. Hear ing about
t he pain of a br oken hear t doesnt do just ice t o feeling t he
cr ippling dev ast at ion. This is a br oken hear t .
Of cour se, hes leav ing me. Why wouldnt he? Ev er y t hing
hes wor ked for his ent ir e life is wait ing for him. His car eer is
t aking off, t he t it le fight only weeks away . That s his pr ior it y .
The v oice in my head r eminds me of what I r eally am. Im
t he daught er of a pimp and a hooker br ed for a lifest y le of
meaningless sex and money . It all makes sense now. My
mot her nev er saw me as her child as a child at all. Im
not hing mor e t han a pr ized animala pr oduct t hey can pr ofit
fr om. Who was I t o t hink I could hav e a fut ur e wit h Jonah?
My fut ur e is in t hat wor ld, not his.
Hey , how long hav e y ou been st anding her e?
Long enough for you to destroy me. Oh, um, I dont know.
Not long. My v oice sounds like it s been t r ampled by a her d of
buffalo.
He cups my face, wiping away my t ear s wit h his t humbs.
His war m ey es and empat het ic smile t hr eat en t o bur st t he
floodgat es, so I look past him.
Baby , y our e cr y ing. He dr ies my t ear s wit h his
t humbs.
I shr ug and for ce my mout h int o a smile.
Come on. Let s get y ou somet hing t o eat .
He hugs me t o his side and guides me int o t he kit chen. My
muscles r elax and my pulse slows, comfor t ed by his t ouch.
Appar ent ly my t r ait or ous body isnt awar e t hat Jonahs done
wit h us. Leaning down, he kisses t ender ly his fav or it e spot on
my neck t hen pulls back a fr act ion t o my ear .
I lov e y ou. His war m br eat h combined wit h t he power
of his wor ds make me t r emble in his ar ms.
I finish his declar at ion wit h an unspoken, but we can t be
together. I lov e y ou t oo.
And I do. That s why I dont ment ion t he conv er sat ion
t hat I ov er hear d. I know lov e doesnt conquer all, t hat it s not
alway s enough. I know t hat Jonah has t o look out for himself.
He cant affor d t o be wr apped up in my life, and par t of me is
at peace about t hat . I want him, but mor e t han t hat , I want
him t o be happy t o hav e a life wit h a woman who can lov e
him t he way he deser v es t o be lov ed: a woman fr ee fr om t he
ugliness of my r ealit y .
How y ou feelin, pr incess? Owen asks.
Iv e been bet t er .
His dar k ey es st udy mine. Right . Well, Im gonna t ake
off. He st eps t o me and t ugs me fr om Jonahs hold for a hug.
His ar ms linger a lit t le t oo long, making it feel like a long-
t er m good-by e.
He r eleases me wit h a final squeeze. I dont miss t he look
he giv es Jonah or what it communicat es. Hes not happy t hat
Jonahs br eaking up wit h me, but he under st ands.
The r est of t he ev ening passes like a dr eam. Only half-
conscious most of t he t ime, my mind pounds away at
Dominicks wor ds. Plans t o escape my fat e for m in my head,
but t hey all end in one r ealit y . I cant pr ot ect ev er y one. And
losing any one I lov e is a r isk Im not willing t o t ake.
Jonah t r eat s me like Im made of glass. He feeds me,
bat hes me, and dr esses me for bed. He holds me in t he dar k,
whisper ing wor ds of comfor t while t wist ing t endr ils of my
hair ar ound his finger s.
I want t o t ell him t hat it s okay , I under st and why he has
t o let me go, but wor ds fail me. Phy sically incapable of
walking away fr om him, I choose t o t ake t his moment . I wr ap
my self up in it , absor bing all t he lov e I can fr om his t ouch,
hoping it will be enough t o last me t hr ough a lifet ime wit hout
him.
***
I open my ey es t o a new day . The sun bat hes t he r oom in
y ellow, but I r efuse t o mov e. For t he fir st t ime, I dont feel
Jonah behind me as I do ev er y mor ning. I t r y not t o t hink
about what s ahead, but liv e in t he moment . And t his
moment sucks.
St ar ing at t he digit al clock on t he bedside, I wat ch t he
minut es t ick by . Sooner or lat er , Im going t o hav e t o get up
and go t o wor k. But leav ing Jonahs bed, knowing it may be
t he last t ime Im her e, is a mount ain Im not r eady t o face. I
sigh, long and har d.
You awake? His v oice comes fr om my back, but hes
acr oss t he r oom.
I squeeze my ey es shut t ight . Do t his for him. Dont make
it har der t han it has t o be.
Rolling ov er , I see him in t he club chair acr oss t he r oom.
Good mor ning. I say , my v oice feeling a lit t le st r onger
t han y est er day , but no less scr at chy .
Good mor ning, beaut iful.
I sit up and not ice t hat his hair is damp fr om t he shower
and hes dr essed for t he day . Wher e ar e y ou off t o so ear ly ?
My heav y hear t dr ops t o my st omach like an anv il.
He st ands and makes his way t o t he bed, plopping down
beside me wit h a huff. I hav e some t hings t o do t oday . Just ,
um, wor k st uff.
Hes av oiding my ey es. This is it . Hes br eaking up wit h
me.
Oh, but I t hought y ou had t oday off? I want t his t o be
easy for him, and I know I should just nod and let him walk
away , but inst inct has me clamor ing.
Yeah, well, I got called in for a meet ing. Wit h t he fight
coming up, t her es a lot of publicit y st uff. He pushes his hand
t hr ough his hair t hen r ubs t he back of his neck. I want ed t o
know if y ou could st ay wit h Ev e t onight .
And t her e it is.
I swallow a whimper t hat t hr eat ens t o shoot fr om my lips.
Blood r ushes in my ear s dist or t ing his wor ds as he makes
excuses about t r aining lat e.
Unshed t ear s bur n my ey es, but I r efuse t o let on. Make
this easy for him. He deser v es t hat much.
Sur e, t hat wont be a pr oblem. But r eally , I can st ay at
my place. You won t be around to protect me anymore.
His expr ession har dens, making his jaw t ick. Rav en,
pr omise me y oull st ay at Ev es. I cant sleep knowing y oull be
alone at y our place.
Wit h a nod and a smile, I agr ee. I hav e no int ent ion of
st ay ing at Ev es, but if it makes what hes doing easier , he can
believ e I am.
Leaning in, he br ushes his lips against mine t hen kisses
my neck at his spot . He pulls back t o look me in t he ey es and I
see somet hing t her e. Regr et ? Loss?
Ill t r y t o call y ou lat er .
Tr y ?
Okay .
St anding wit h pur pose, he walks away .
I lov e y ou, Jonah Slade. My whisper ed wor ds ar e said t o
t he door t hat he closes behind him.
~*~
Jonah
Come on, Blake, answer t he door !
Iv e been knocking on his door for t he last t en minut es. I
know hes home because I saw his Jeep par ked downst air s.
I bang on t he door again. Blake, open up!
I hear him fumbling wit h t he lock and t he door swings
open. Blake is st anding in t he door way , wear ing not hing but
his boxer br iefs. His ey es ar e half shut and his face puffy wit h
sleep and a possible hangov er .
Fuck, man. Wher es t he fir e? His v oice is r ough and
laced wit h ir r it at ion.
I need t o t alk t o y ou about somet hing. It s impor t ant .
What ? He y awns, scr at ching his chest . Dude, it s like
six oclock in t he mor ning.
It s t en oclock, idiot .
Oh, well t hen, come on in. He gest ur es dr amat ically
wit h his ar m, and I push past him int o his place.
What t he hell happened t o y ou? You look like shit .
You dont want t o know, he say s on a gr oan.
You alone?
He st ar es at me and his ey ebr ows dr op low. No. Why ?
I need what Im about t o say t o be kept pr iv at e. My ey es
dar t t o t he hallway t hat leads t o his r oom, t hen back t o him.
You mind sending y our sleepov er guest home?
Fuck. Yeah, hold on.
He disappear s down t he hall, and I walk t o t he ot her end
of his liv ing r oom. Last t hing I want is a fr ont r ow seat t o t he
dismissing of his ov er night guest . I wat ch out t he t en-foot -t all
window of his moder n t ownhouse and shudder at t he show his
neighbor s must get most night s.
But , I t hought y ou said y oud make us br eakfast , a
female v oice whines fr om t he hallway .
Yeah, y ou said y oud feed us y our sausage, say s
anot her .
Fucking Blake.
Change of plans, ladies. May be next t ime.
Aww. The disappoint ed r eply sounds in unison.
Blake walks t o t he door wit h t wo gir ls. One st umbles,
t r y ing t o slip on her high heel, while t he ot her shov es a wad
of lace and silk int o her t iny pur se. I r ecognize t hem
immediat ely as Cage Gir ls. And I am int imat ely familiar
wit h bot h.
Hey , Jonah. The t all blonde calls out as she passes me in
t he liv ing r oom.
I nod.
The br unet t e t osses me a wav e. Hi, Jonah.
All r ight , ladies, t hanks for last night and t his
mor ning.
He all but shov es t hem out t he door , slamming it behind
t hem.
Scr ew y ou lat er , he mumbles.
I shake my head. Your e a pig.
So wer e y ou once. He plops down on t he couch, st ill in
his under wear .
You want t o get some fucking clot hes on?
He looks at me like I just asked him t o wear a dr ess. You
want t o t ell me why y our e beat ing down my door at t he shit
cr ack of dawn?
Dr opping down in t he seat acr oss fr om him, I fill Blake in
on my sit uat ion. His jaw locks down as I t ell him ev er y det ail
of Rav ens meet ing. A whisper ed cur se br eaks fr ee when I t ell
him about how I found her aft er .
That mot her fucker ! Blake jumps up fr om t he couch t o
pace t he r oom.
I hav e a plan, but I need y our help. I know Dominick is
par t owner of Zeuss. I need y ou t o get wit h one of t he gir ls and
find out when he goes in t her e.
Hes st ill pacing and hasnt acknowledged t hat Iv e said a
wor d.
Blake. Can y ou do t hat ?
He st ops and t ur ns t owar d me. Abso-fucking-lut ely .
Gr abbing his phone, he t akes his seat back on t he couch,
t his t ime not slumped ov er , but t ense and leaning for war d.
Your e not meet ing wit h t hat asswipe alone. Im going wit h
y ou.
No, I hav e t o do it alone. I wont dr ag y ou int o t his.
He pins me wit h a glar e. Dr ag me int o t his? His ar m
shoot s out t o point a finger t o his wall window. That gir ls
cool as shit . He point s at me. Shes y our gir l. That makes
her my r esponsibilit y t oo.
Blake, any t hing could happen. You sur e y ou want t o get
messed up in all t his?
He coughs out a laugh. Let me ask y ou somet hing.
What r e y ou going t o do when Mor r et t i makes some comment
about Rav en t aking cock for cash, huh?
I suppr ess a gr owl. A low v ibr at ion in my spine amplifies
t o a buzz. My t eet h gr ind t oget her and I scowl at Blake.
That s what I t hought . Your e going t o flip t he swit ch on
t hat dicklick and hell shoot y our dumb ass and claim self-
defense. And wher e does t hat leav e Rav en, hmm?
I nar r ow my glar e on him.
Exact ly .
The cocky ass is r ight . Dominick will most likely t r y t o get
me r iled up, and I cant be r esponsible for what happens if he
disr espect s Rav en.
Your e r ight . Ill need y ou t her e. How soon can we get t he
ball r olling?
Blake alr eady has his phone t o his ear . Selena, baby , it s
me. I got a quest ion for y ou.
Fifteen
Raven
The bay door s slamming shut pulls me fr om t he wir ing of
a 5 7 Chev y . The halogen light s of t he gar age r eplace t he sun
t hat shone in when I st ar t ed t his pr oject .
Wher e did t he t ime go?
Dr owning my self in wor k is a good dist r act ion fr om t he
chaos in my head, but Iv e lost an ent ir e aft er noon.
The awar eness of t ime br ings pain t o t he gaping v oid in
my chest . I hav ent hear d fr om Jonah all day . I didnt expect
him t o cont act me, but I hoped he would. I check my phone
again. Not hing.
Wr ap it up, Ray .
I gr ab my t ools and find Guy in t he back, put t ing t hings
away .
Whos on t omor r ow? I ask, t ossing my set on a
wor kbench.
He doesnt look up fr om an assor t ment of wir e t er minals.
Cane. Why ?
I t hought Id come in, y ou know, um, help out
He bangs closed a met al t oolbox. What s goin on, Ray ?
He st udies my face. Youv e been zip-lipped all day , and fr om
t he look on y our face, Id say someone died.
That s what it feels like. I shr ug and pick gr ease fr om my
nails, av oiding his ey es. Nah, just t hought Id get some ext r a
hour s.
You hur t in for money ?
No, it s not t hat . I just need t o st ay busy so I dont hav e
t ime t o feel.
His bushy , gr ay ey ebr ows dr op low, making t he wr inkles
ar ound his ey es mor e pr onounced. You and t he boy hav in
pr oblems?
I exhale, annoy ed at my t r anspar ency .
You could say t hat . He has a lot on his plat e wit h t he
fight coming up. Guilt washes ov er me as I lie. I cant t ell
him t he t r ut h. It s t oo r eal.
He leans against a wor kbench and cr osses his ankles. He
t ell y ou t hat ?
I shake my head. Our liv es ar e t oo differ ent .
And differ ent is a bad t hing?
You dont under st and, I mumble t o my feet .
Ill t ell y ou what I do under st and. I see a boy whos liv ed
his life in t he public ey e for just shy of t en y ear s. Hes made
his t ast e in women obv ious: quick, easy , and disposable. You
st ep on t he scene, he dr ops it all, st ands t oe t o t oe wit h me,
and makes his int ent ions clear . Differ ences be damned. The
boy s cr azy about y ou.
Some differ ences ar e t oo big.
You list en her e, Ray . Im no exper t on r elat ionships.
Only been in lov e once. That was ov er t hir t y y ear s ago. But I
know it when I see it .
You wer e in lov e? I st ar e in shock at t he self-pr oclaimed,
lifet ime bachelor .
Yep, fell in lov e wit h an angel. His ey es get soft . But
she was engaged t o someone else.
I dont know what t o say , but I want t o hear mor e. I nod
for him t o cont inue.
You know what I did t o mess it up?
What ?
Not hin. And t hat s how I lost her . He r eflect s in silence
for a beat , st udy ing t he gar age walls. He shakes his head. I
didnt fight for her . I could hav e fought , t r ied t o get her out
fr om under her obligat ion, but I didnt . Biggest mist ake of my
life.
But she was engaged t o someone else. How do y ou know
she would hav e left her fianc?
His face falls, ey ebr ows low, and he st udies t he floor . Ill
nev er know. That s what kills me.
The pain in his v oice has me blinking back t ear s. Was
t her e nev er any one else? Aft er her ?
I lov e her . Shes it for me. Hes not speaking in past
t ense.
I cant decide if t hat s t he saddest or t he most r omant ic
t hing Iv e ev er hear d, and y et Im dest ined for a similar fat e.
Ther e will nev er be anot her lov e for me, not like Jonah. I can
see how Guy would close himself off, subject t o a lifet ime
sent ence of loneliness for one gir l. But t he differ ence is t hat
Guy s lov e was wor t h t he fight . He didnt fight for her , but he
liv es wit h t he r egr et because she was wor t h t hat . Not me.
Not ev er y ones wor t h fight ing for .
He st eps close and places his hands on my shoulder s. His
blue ey es look deep int o mine. Iv e seen y ou t wo t oget her : t he
way he looks at y ou when y our e not looking, like y our e t he
sun and hes happily st uck in y our or bit . Nev er seen y ou wit h
a boy befor e so I cant be sur e, but seein y ou messed up in t he
head about it , Im guessin y ou feel t he same way . You guy s
got somet hing special, Ray . Fight for it . It s wor t h t hat .
His wor ds r ock me t o t he bone. Somet hing deep and
inst inct ual r ecognizes Guy s wor ds as t r ut h, but I cant get
past my head: Jonahs conv er sat ion wit h Owen, him pushing
me off on Ev e, not calling all day . All ar r ows point t o a br oken
hear t .
My head t hr obs, and I hav e an ov er whelming ur ge t o be
alone. Thanks, G.
Your e welcome. You dont want t o be me, lookin back on
y our life, wishing y ou could hav e anot her shot at somet hing
sweet . He r uffles my hair t hen st eps back. Now, go get some
sleep. You look like hell.
He t hr ows his ar m ov er my shoulder and walks me t o t he
foot of my st air s. Depar t ing wit h a wav e, I wat ch him unt il he
disappear s ar ound t he cor ner .
The weight of t oday pr essing down, I dr ag my body up t he
st air s. A hot shower sounds bet t er and bet t er wit h each st ep.
The mot ion light abov e my door flicks on, and I fr eeze as my
foot hit s t he t op st ep. Holy cr ud.
The old door t o my apar t ment is gone, and in it s place is a
solid, dar k wood one wit h an enor mous plat inum handle. My
jaw falls open as I st udy it s feat ur es: a peep hole and t hr ee
gleaming locks. I gr ab my key s and finger t hr ough t he set t o
find Yep, t her e it is: a shiny new silv er key . Jonah must
hav e slipped it on my key chain t his mor ning. The cor ner s of
my mout h lift as I examine t he pr oduct of his ov er pr ot ect iv e
nat ur e, and just as quickly as t he smile comes, it fades. How
will I liv e wit hout him?
Im able t o get my self inside befor e t he t ear s st ar t t o fall.
Cr awling ont o my bed, I bur y my face in t he pillow and sob. I
hav e t o believ e t her e is a t iny chance t hat Jonah doesnt want
t o end t hings. I cant go on any ot her way .
But hope is such a danger ous t hing. My hear t dar ed t o
hope t hat Dominick would one day come banging on my door ,
begging for for giv eness. But inst ead, he killed ev er y dr eam of
a fut ur e I had. Hope. It has sust ained me t hr ough my dar kest
day s, but it also lift ed me up only t o dr op me, br eaking me
int o ir r epar able pieces. Could I liv e t hr ough t hat kind of fall
again?
Cr y ing jag ov er , I pull my self up and int o t he shower . I
mov e t hr ough t he mot ions, numb and absent . Dr essed in
dr awst r ing fleece pant s, a t ank, and flip-flops, I check my
phone. No missed calls.
I hav ent hear d fr om Ev e all day , and alt hough Id
planned on ignor ing Jonahs r equest t hat I st ay at Ev es, I
could use t he company . It must be t he new boy fr iend t hat s
keeping her busy . Except for t he occasional t ext message and
a couple mor ning phone conv er sat ions t his past week, shes
been unav ailable. The few t alks wev e had hav e been one-
sided. She asks me about Jonah, and I t alk for ev er , but she
nev er t alks about her self out side of what shes up t o at wor k.
Just t hinking about her now is making me miss her t er r ibly .
I dial her number and list en as her v oicemail t ells me t o
leav e a message. Wit h not hing bet t er t o do, I decide t o dr iv e
ov er and dr op in on her . If shes not t her e, I can alway s t r y
her wor k.
Gr abbing my key s, I head t o my car wit h t he hopes of
finding Ev e and keeping my mind off Jonah. I r elax as t he
hum of my Nov a and t he war m air t hat whips my hair
env elop me. Elt on John blast s in my ear s, and in t hat
moment , Im just some gir l, not t he daught er of a pr ost it ut e
and a pimp, br ed for Ugh! I slam my hand on t he st eer ing
wheel and focus on t he cr ooning v oice of Sir Elt on. I punch t he
gas, singing at t he t op of my lungs and hoping t o chase away
t he wor st of my demons.
As I pass a st r ip of fast -food r est aur ant s, Im hit wit h t he
smell of hot oil and fr ench fr ies. My st omach r umbles it s
complaint . Wit h ev er y t hing t hat s been going on t oday , Iv e
for got t en t o eat . I t r y Ev es phone again. Voicemail. I r edir ect
my car t o hit my fav or it e dr iv e-t hr u.
Tur ning left t owar ds t he light s of t he Vegas st r ip, I head
down Tr opicana. The flashing neon of a club up ahead get s
my at t ent ion. Ther es a line of people wr apped ar ound t he
building. I r ecognize it immediat ely as Zeuss Play gr ound, one
of t he high-end st r ip clubs in t own. St uck at a st oplight , I look
at t he club, shaking my head at all t he men who ar e about t o
dr op a weeks pay down t he pant ies of a st r ipper while t he
lit t le woman is pr obably home t aking car e of t he kids.
Pat het ic.
My gaze mov es back t o t he r oad in fr ont of me when
somet hing cat ches my ey e. In t he par king lot of t he club, I
would r ecognize it any wher e. I squint har d. My head get s
light , and t he blood dr ains t o pool in t he pit of my empt y
st omach. I fight t he impulse t o v omit or pass out .
Jonahs t r uck.
I blink, hoping t o clear t he opt ical illusion. The honking of
a car hor n st ar t les me and causes me t o look ahead. The
light s gr een, and I need t o dr iv e, but I cant get my limbs t o
cooper at e.
He said he had a meet ing.
A quick shot of anger br ings my body ar ound, and I pr ess
t he gas t o get t hr ough t he int er sect ion. Wit h t r embling
hands, I pull off t o t he side of t he r oad. I t ake anot her har d
look. Blake had ment ioned t his place at t he bar beque. It was
wher e he met t he gir ls he br ought . All of t hem, including
Candy .
Jonahs in t her e wit h Candy .
And just like t hat , hope has dr opped my sor r y but t off a
cliff.
Panic floods my v eins. My br eat hing is labor ed, like Im
sucking air t hr ough a st r aw. I shake out my ar ms, t r y ing t o
r id t hem of t he numbness t aking ov er , but mov ement only
pushes t he sensat ion int o my t or so. My hear t beat s fast t oo
fast . Ter r or spr eads t hr ough my body . I squeeze my ey es shut .
Oh please, God, not now. I pr ay aloud wit h hopes of
div ine int er cession.
An anxiet y at t ack gr ips my body . Tear s st r eam down my
face, and I st r uggle against t he lost feeling t hat t hr eat ens t o
ov er t ake me. I push against my st er num, willing my hear t t o
slow.
Come on, Rav en. Talk y our self down. I t ake a br eat h.
Im in cont r ol.
My ey es fly open at my pit iful lie. Cont r ol? That s t he last
t hing I hav e. My hands gr ip eit her side of my head and I r ock
back and for t h.
Of cour se, hes t her e. Why would he want t o be wit h me,
t he fut ur e hooker ? I close my ey es t ight ly . The daught er of a
pimp. My body shakes. The gr ease monkey , t omboy . My head
pounds. The v ir gin.
I need t o calm down. St op act ing like a helpless lit t le gir l. I
br eat he in deep t hr ough my nose and out my mout h, unt il
my mind slows enough for me t o t hink st r aight . I need t o
decide what t o do now. Should I go confr ont him? Why ? So he
can t ell me t o my face, wit h Candy st r addling his lap, t hat he
doesnt want me? I pull back int o t he st r eet , almost hit t ing
anot her car , and speed t o Ev es.
Thr owing my car in par k at t he cur b out side her house, I
walk up t he fr ont pat h. Im shaking, but st ill. Pained, but
numb. Bleeding, but aliv e. Consumed wit h confusion and
cont r adict ions.
I r each her door and knock as har d as I can. Aft er a few
clicks of t he lock, t he door opens t o expose a v er y skimpily
dr essed Ev e. Thr ough t he small cr ack in t he door , I can see lit
candles in t he backgr ound.
Rav en, what ar e y ou doing her e?
I called. You didnt answer . It s all I can manage
wit hout br eaking out in a full-body sob.
Oh, y eah, sor r y . Iv e been busy . She looks guilt y and
a lit t le ashamed.
Her ey es seem sket chy as she looks ov er my shoulder t o
t he st r eet behind me. I look t o see what s st ealing her
at t ent ion. Ther e, par ked in t he st r eet , is a black H2 . My
ey ebr ows pull t oget her .
I must hav e missed it when I pulled up. I guess seeing my
boy fr iends car at a st r ip club wher e his ex-hook up wor ks
when he t old me he had a wor k meet ing made me
unobser v ant . My ar ms wr ap pr ot ect iv ely ar ound my chest
and my shoulder s cur l for war d, holding my self t oget her . I
might dissolv e complet ely at t he slight est br eeze of pain.
Ev e, whos at t he door ? a deep v oice beckons fr om
behind her . My wide ey es lock wit h her s in shock and silent
apology .
Oh, Ev e, Im so sor r y . You hav e company . Ill go.
Wait , why does t hat v oice sound familiar ?
No, Rav e, wait . You look hor r ible. Hav e y ou been
cr y ing? What s going on?
She st ill hasnt opened t he door any mor e, but her face
shows concer n. A lar ge hand cur ls ar ound her waist fr om
behind, and a t all man comes int o v iew ov er her shoulder .
Holy shit !
~*~
Jonah
It s nine for t y -fiv e and t he club is get t ing cr owded. Ev en
fr om my seat at t he bar , it s har d t o see t hr ough t he bodies
filling t he place. The gir ls finally got t he hint t hat we ar ent
her e for ent er t ainment . Their adv ances went bey ond
annoy ing t o bor der line host ile in t he last hour . Blake and I
finally had t o t ell t hem t o back off and get t he hell out of our
way .
Can I get y ou a dr ink, man? t he bar t ender asks for t he
t hir d t ime, ir r it at ion lacing his v oice.
This kid is pissing me t he fuck off. My head swiv els in his
dir ect ion and I dr ill him wit h my st ar e. A beer would do
wonder s t o calm my ur ge t o kill, but t her es no way Ill be
any t hing less t han one hundr ed per cent coher ent when I face
Dominick.
He t hr ows his hands up and t akes a st ep back. Whoa, I
dont want any t r ouble. But y ou cant sit her e all night and
not buy a dr ink. Im just following t he r ules.
I pull a hundr ed dollar bill fr om my pocket and t oss it his
way .
On second t hought , he nabs t he cash, enjoy y our
night .
I go back t o sur v ey ing my sur r oundings.
No sign of Dominick. Selena t old Blake t hat he usually
comes in ar ound t his t ime of night t o wor k some of his gir ls.
Wev e been her e for an hour and hes a no show.
How long do y ou want t o hang out ? Blake asks, his ey es
scanning t he r oom.
As long as it t akes. Rav ens wit h Ev e so I hav e all night .
I hav e fight -night focus. My senses ar e shar p. Ev er y male
v oice dr aws my at t ent ion along wit h ev er y opening door .
Adr enaline r uns high, as does my det er minat ion. I will not
leav e t his place unt il I meet wit h Dominick.
I swallow a gr owl when I feel a small, feminine hand
mov e up my shoulder . Can t hese gir ls not t ake no for an
answer ? Tur ning t owar ds it s owner , I cr inge. I dont need t his
shit .
Hey , st r anger , Candy pur r s, wit h her fake, ov er -
affect ed seduct ion.
I jer k my head in acknowledgement .
Leaning for war d, she br ings her lips t o my ear . I t old
y ou, y oud be back.
Not in t he mood for y our games t onight , Candy .
She gasps when I r emov e her fr om my shoulder and go
back t o scanning t he r oom.
Dont t ell me y our e st ill wit h t hat t r ashy lit t le gir l, she
scoffs.
What did she just say? My gaze swings t owar d her .
Her puffy lips lift int o a sat isfied smile. You nev er gav e
me t he chance t o show y ou what I could do for y ou, lov er .
She r uns a shar p nail fr om my shoulder and down my ar m,
her ey es following it s pat h. Id do t hings t o y ou t hat would
make y ou for get t hat dir t y skanks name. She swings a leg
ov er my knee, r ubbing against me like some pat het ic animal.
I st and and she st umbles back, my sudden mov ement
t hr owing her off balance. She looks up at me and her ey es
gr ow wide. I would nev er hit a gir l, but t his bit ch is pushing
my but t ons. Im alr eady walking t he fine line of my t emper .
She picked t he wr ong night t o fuck wit h me.
One night , Candy . That s all we had and t hat s all well
ev er hav e. You need t o squash t hese deluded fant asies y ou
hav e about us. It aint gonna happen. Ev er . Under st and?
She opens her mout h t o speak, but Im not finished.
And if y ou ev er speak about my girl like t hat again, I will
r uin y ou. You wont be able t o mov e far enough away t o
escape t he r eput at ion Ill giv e y ou. Only job y oull be able t o
get is shit -pumping por t -a-pot t ies. We clear ?
Her ey es nar r ow and her mout h mov es, but for t he fir st
t ime t he bit ch is speechless.
Now, leav e me t he fuck alone.
Face flushed, she spins and st or ms off.
I lean against t he bar and go back t o scanning t he r oom. If
t hat speech doesnt get Candy off my back, not hing will. It s
t hen I not ice a new gr oup of men st anding ar ound a t able.
One of t hem has blond hair , but his back is t o me, so I cant see
his face.
Blake gr abs my ar m and gr ins his cocky smile. It s go
t ime.
He jer ks his head in t he dir ect ion of t he light -hair ed man.
A slight shift in t he mans posit ion and I see his face. Dominick
Mor r et t i.
A low hum of ener gy coils in t he back of my head. My legs
mov e me for war d while my mind v isualizes t aking t his pr ick-
ass down. Pr essing in t hr ough t he cr owd, I for ce back my
pr ot ect iv e inst inct and wr est le wit h r eason. I focus on my
br eat hing and r emind my self t o st ay calm. For Rav en.
Dont kick his ass. Not her e. Not y et .
An aggr essiv e pr esence pr ickles fr om behind me. I look
ov er my shoulder t o see Blake, his jaw clenched and his fist s
t ight at his sides. Hes r eady t o t hr ow down, and Im gr at eful
t hat he has my back.
I appr oach Dominick while hes chat t ing wit h a gr oup of
businessmen. I cat ch a second of t he conv er sat ion t hat clear ly
inv olv es selling a few of his women for t he night . Imagining
for a moment t hat it s Rav en hes selling, t he buzz in my head
explodes. Fuck that. My ar ms bur n t o r each out and br eak t his
fucker s neck r ight her e and now.
Lock it down, man. For her .
Blakes wor ds push me for war d.
I t ake t he last st ep, placing me a foot away . Dominick
Mor r et t i. I need a wor d.
He swiv els ar ound and meet s my ey es. Im t aken aback
by how much his look like Rav ens. Ther es no doubt t his is
her fat her . My st omach r oils. I dont smile, and I can only
imagine t hat my face looks about as fr iendly as a r abid pit
bull.
Why if it isnt The Assassin. He sneer s. Gent lemen,
what a t r eat we hav e t onight . A slow clap of his hands has
t he men at t he t ables at t ent ion. The undefeat ed cont ender .
The men at t he t able acknowledge me, but my ey es bur n
int o Dominick.
He must sense Im not her e for a meet and gr eet , and he
leans in so no one can hear him but me. I hav e a feeling I
know what , or should I say whom, y ou want t o hav e a wor d
about .
Blake st eps close, placing his shoulder bet ween me and
Dominick and making him lean back.
You want t o go somewher e pr iv at e or would y ou r at her
hav e it out r ight her e? Im cool eit her way , I spit t hr ough
my t eet h.
His face t ur ns t o st one, his pr ev ious br av ado gone. He
nods t o a man who t akes his place and excuses himself fr om
t he gr oup of pat r ons. I follow him t owar d t he back of t he club.
Wer e in a dar k hallway wit h door s r unning along it s
sides. I follow Dominick t o t he v er y last door and int o an
office. He doesnt mov e t o t he desk chair , but inst ead st ay s in
fr ont of it , leaning against it . Ther es shuffling behind me and
I hear t he door close. Two men st and on eit her side of
Dominick against t he wall. My senses go on high aler t .
They r e her e t o pr ot ect him against us. Smar t .
Hav e a seat Mr . Slade and he looks t o Blake wit h
r aised ey ebr ows. Mr . Daniels.
How t he fuck do y ou know me? Blake say s fr om my side.
I know everything, Mr . Daniels. Now, sit .
Wed r at her st and, I snap.
Suit y our self. He gr ins and I dont miss his ey es dar t ing
t o our fist ed hands. What can I help y ou wit h, boy s? Looking
t o set up a dat e? Iv e got some beaut iful gir ls who would lov e
t o spend some t ime wit h y ou, for t he r ight pr ice. Locking
ey es wit h me, his lips cur l back fr om his t eet h. If y oud be
willing t o wait a few weeks, I can ar r ange for y ou t o hav e a
new gir l. Shes nev er been used befor e. Shell cost a lit t le
ext r a, t he v ir gins alway s do
Shut t he fuck up, I r oar .
You son of a bit ch! Blake y ells at t he same t ime.
Blood dr ums in my ear s. Hes obv iously pr ov oking me,
t r y ing t o get me t o at t ack him so he can t ake me out , leav ing
Rav en defenseless so he can pr ay on her like t he scav enging
fuck t hat he is. I fist my hands against t he ur ge t o dest r oy
him. My hands flex so t ight , I feel t he bit e of my nails
br eaking t he skin. The buzzing in my br ain is nuclear . I push
t hr ough t he fog and focus on Rav en. My muscles t wit ch wit h
unbr idled fur y .
What do y ou want , Dominick? For Rav en? Ill giv e y ou
what ev er y ou want in r et ur n for her fr eedom.
Dominick leans back and pr ops his expensiv e loafer s ont o
t he desk.
What ev er I want , huh? Dont t hink y ou hav e any t hing I
want , Mr . Slade.
Name y our pr ice.
You dont hav e enough.
Tr y me.
He st ar es at me in silence while spinning his gold pinkie
r ing wit h his t humb.
Ten million dollar s, cash.
Shit. That s a lot of money . My chest const r ict s. This is a
lost cause. I cant affor d t hat . If I sell my house, my car s,
ev er y t hing I hav e in sav ings dammit , t hat s st ill not
enough.
Or , he looks at Blake t hen back t o me, we could make
t his int er est ing. He t aps his bot t om lip wit h his finger .
Id giv e any t hing t o bust t hat lip open.
Ill t ell y ou what . You want t o win my daught er ? Thr ow
y our t it le fight .
His wor ds suck t he air fr om my lungs.
Fuck me, Blake whisper s.
You boy s must be awar e of t he odds in t his fight . Your e
t he fav or it e t o win. If I put enough money on Del Tor o, and he
wins, I could become a v er y r ich man. You lose t hat fight , Ill
r elease Rav en.
Done. My answer bur st s for t h wit hout hesit at ion. I
would giv e up any t hing for her , including my lifes dr eam.
Shes my dr eam now.
I hav e one st ipulat ion. The fight must go t hr ee r ounds.
You cant just walk int o t he oct agon wit h y our hands at y our
side. Make it believ able, as if y our e fight ing t o win.
Blake st eps close and Dominicks body guar ds follow suit .
That s impossible. He goes out t her e t o fight . Del Tor os
down.
Dominicks ey es st ay focused on mine. That s what
makes it a challenge. Ar e y ou up for t he challenge, Mr .
Slade?
Ill do it . I can do any t hing if it means being wit h
Rav en.
Blake mur mur s a st r ing of foul wor ds while depr av ed
sat isfact ion shines in Dominicks ey es. He r eaches out t o shake
my hand. I hesit at e.
Rage r ides me har d, and I know if I t ouch t his man I may
lose it . I pict ur e Rav ens smiling face and t ake a deep br eat h. I
for ce my hand for war d and shake his, har der t han necessar y .
It s a deal, he say s. Ar e we done her e?
No, one mor e t hing. I place bot h palms on t he edge of
t he desk and lean for war d, looming ov er Dominick. His
body guar ds st ep up close, flashing t heir weapons under t heir
suit coat s. You st ay t he hell away fr om Rav en. I dont want
y ou t o cont act her , t hr eat en her , or ev en think about her . You
got someone on her , y ou call t hem off. Shes mine. Ill do
what ev er it t akes t o pr ot ect her . What ev er . It . Takes.
The all-consuming buzz has me shaking wit h t he need t o
fuck t his guy up. Blake r eaches fr om behind me and pulls me
back by my biceps. I lean for war d on pur e inst inct .
Come on, man. You got what we came for . Let s get out t a
her e. Blake dr ags me backwar ds, my pier cing scowl locked
on Dominick.
Yeah, good idea, befor e I kill t his bast ar d.
I r ip fr ee of Blakes hold and leav e t he r oom.
Good night , gent leman. Dominicks cackling laught er
fades as we walk down t he hall.
Im a bomb, liv e and loaded, r eady t o r ip t he shit out of
any one t hat looks at me wr ong. My muscles coil, pulse r acing.
I shov e t he fr ont door open and hear t he sat isfy ing smack
as it slams against t he ext er ior wall of t he club.
Easy , man, some douchebag college kid say s st anding
wit h a gr oup of his pissant fr iends.
I st alk ov er and st ep r ight up in his face. The fuck y ou
say ?
Not hing. It s cool. The kid shift s and st eps back int o t he
safet y of his fr iends, unawar e t hey v e all backed up a good t en
feet .
My lips cur l. I adv ance a st ep.
Come on. Dont make t he poor bast ar d cr ap his pant s in
fr ont of his fr iends. Blakes t one is joking, but he doesnt
mov e t o t ouch me. He knows bet t er t han t o put a hand on me
when Im t his close t o light ing shit up.
Dr opping t he lit t le punk will make me feel bet t er . Not hing
sat isfies t he beast wit hin like a good st r eet fight unt il
r ecent ly . Ther es one t hing t hat wor ks ev en bet t er .
I t ur n away and hear him exhale a Thank y ou, Jesus as
I head t o my t r uck.
Br eat he, br ot her . Blakes v oice comes fr om behind me.
Rav en. I need her . Now.
Sixteen
Raven
In shock, I st ar e silent ly as Ev e t ilt s her head, smiling
wit h affect ion t o t he man at her back.
Rav en, t his is t he guy I was t elling y ou about , Vince.
Vince, t his is my best fr iend, Rav en. Ev e int r oduces us like
wer e at a dinner par t y .
Vince leans for war d, sucking Ev es ear lobe int o his
mout h. Her ey es flut t er closed and a soft moan escapes her
lips. His ey es lock on mine as his lips peel back ov er his t eet h,
and he sinks t hem int o her ear .
Eww.
Nice t o meet y ou, Rav en. Ev e has t old me a lot about
y ou.
That s why he looked at me so familiar ly y est er day . Hes
been feeding infor mat ion about me t o Dominick. No doubt Ev e
has t old him ev er y t hing. I gr oan as I t hink of all t he t hings
Iv e t old her , t hings I confided in her about my life.
I bet hes t he one who t old Dominick t hat I had fallen in
lov e wit h Jonah, t hat I was st ay ing wit h him ev er y night ,
t hat I was a v ir gin.
Vince is Dominicks Ass-In-The-Hole.
He had t his planned: hav ing Vince st alk me, v iolat e my
per sonal life t o gain lev er age against me, t aking adv ant age of
my best fr iend, her lov ing hear t and beaut iful body , t o spy on
me. I lock ey es wit h Vince, but t alk t o Ev e.
I just needed t o make sur e y ou wer e okay . I hadnt been
able t o get ahold of y ou and I wor r ied. The wor ds flow
wit hout emot ion. My mind chur ns, pr ocessing how wrong
t his is. Ill let y ou guy s get back t o it .
Wait , ar e y ou sur e y our e okay ? Her wor ds come out on
a moan as Vince cups her br east r ight in fr ont of me. I hav e t o
get away fr om her e.
Yeah, I hav e t o go. I r un t o my car , wishing I had t he
st r engt h t o t ell Vince off. His blat ant at t empt t o make me
uncomfor t able wor ked.
Ill call y ou t omor r ow, Rav e! Ev e y ells and I slam my
car door shut . My hand hit s t he lock but t on and I fir e up t he
engine, my t ir es squealing as I pull away .
Shaking wit h uncont r ollable for ce, I gr ip t he wheel
t ight er . Just when I t hought t hings couldnt get any wor se.
I want t o t ell Jonah about Vince and wr ap my self in t he
safet y of his st r ong ar ms unt il t he hur t goes away . I cr av e his
t ouch like an addict . It doesnt make any sense. Hes wit h
anot her woman. How disgust ing can I be? Pining aft er a man
who has lied and cheat ed?
I hat e my self for what I am and how I feel. Im Dor ot hy ,
skipping happily down t he Yellow Br ick Road of self-loat hing.
Blast ing t he r adio, hoping t he comfor t of t he music will be a
decent subst it ut e for t he man, I gr imace. Skeet er Dav is sings
The End of t he Wor ld, and for once, I under st and her pain.
Wav es of despair wash ov er me. The negat iv e emot ion,
fr om my childhood unt il now, bear s down. I want it t o end,
desper at e t o r elease my t or t ur ed soul fr om t his doomed life I
was bor n int o. I would gladly giv e up t his fight . May be Jonah
and I ar ent t hat differ ent . Iv e been a fight er all my life t oo.
But I dont fight against people. I fight against feeling
wor t hless, ashamed, and unlov able. Im sick of it , and at t his
point , Id welcome deat h.
Mor bid t hought s swir l in my head when I hear t he faint
chime of my phone. I dig it out of my backpack, gr at eful for
t he dist r act ion.
One new t ext .
Raven, I need to see you. Tried calling but no answer. Call me
ASAP. xJ
He must hav e called me when I was at Ev es door . But
why ? What could he possibly want aft er a night wit h her? My
phone r ings in my hand.
In no shape t o dr iv e while t alking on t he phone, I pull
ov er and check out t he caller ID. Tear s spr ing t o my ey es as I
r ead t he wor ds, Jonah Calling .
I should t hr ow my phone out t he window and go home,
but I cant . The pit iful gir l in me want s t o hear his v oice. And
why is he calling me now? The phone cont inues t o r ing. He
could be calling t o confess, t o end t hings officially . Or what
if hes changed his mind?
Hope cr eeps back in, an ener gy t hat ignor es my miser y .
I hav e t o know.
I squeeze my ey es shut and pr ess t he phone t o my ear .
Hello?
Baby , hey . I r elax against t he soot hing t one of his
wor ds. How did I t hink I could liv e wit hout t his? I need t o see
y ou. Ar e y ou at Ev es?
Oh, um, no, she uh, had a dat e. I didnt want t o int r ude.
Silence.
Jonah?
Your e at y our place? Alone? I hear t he accusat ion in his
v oice, chasing away t he calm. Bit t er ness bur ns in my chest ,
squashing opt imism and r ev iv ing my br oken hear t .
How dar e he act like Im a child. He was at a st r ip club.
Wit h Candy !
No, Im not home. Im out . Why ? My clipped wor ds come
out har sher t han I int end, but oh well.
Wher e ar e y ou? I need t o t alk t o y ou.
Youv e got me on t he phone. So t alk.
Mor e silence. I wait .
Rav en, what s going on wit h y ou? You sound, I dont
know, pissed or somet hing.
Is he joking?
How was y our meeting? I say , my v oice laced wit h acid.
It was good. He dr aws out his wor ds caut iously .
Yeah, I bet it was.
Oh, y eah? Good, huh? I bet it was. I bet it was real good.
The sar casm in my v oice is so obv ious I sound complet ely
r idiculous.
That s it , Rav en, wher e t he fuck ar e y ou? I dont know
what s going on, but t his at t it ude y our e t hr owing is pissing
me off.
Oh, God for bid.
He gr owls, and I know Iv e upset him. Ha! Now he knows
how it feels.
You want t o know how my meet ing was? It was per fect .
Bet t er t han per fect . That s what I want t o t alk t o y ou about .
Did he just say t hat being wit h Candy was per fect ? Bet t er
t han per fect ? That jer k!
Your e a liar !
What ? What t he fuck ar e y ou t alking about ?
Im br eat hing heav y , and anger keeps me fr om
ar t iculat ing an answer . All I want t o do is scr eam.
What is it , baby ? His wor ds dr ip wit h sar casm. You
r un out of shit t o t alk? Those sweet lit t le lips of y our s cant
keep up wit h y ou being a bit ch
I gasp. Loud. What did y ou call me?
Fuck. That s not what I meant
No, Jonah. You just called me t he b-wor d. I cant believ e
y ou just called me t hat ! The t one in my v oice is so high Im
sur pr ised my windows dont bur st .
Baby , calm down.
Do not call me baby . Not aft er what y ouv e done. Not
aft er t onight . A whine slides up my t hr oat and I bur st int o
t ear s.
Rav en, y our e scar ing me. Wher e ar e y ou? Ill come t o
y ou.
I whimper and sob, knowing I should hang up, but lacking
t he power t o say good-by e.
Please dont cr y . Look, Im sor r y . It s just been a long day ,
and I need t o see y ou.
I t ake a deep cleansing br eat h as Guy s wor ds flood my
mind. This is it . The moment he was t alking about . I swallow
a shaky br eat h. I hav e a choice t o make. Fight or giv e up.
I lov e Jonah wit h all my hear t . As disgust ing as it is, I
would t ake him ev en now aft er hes been wit h Candy . But
what kind of a fut ur e do we hav e? Put t ing his life at r isk isnt
an opt ion. And fight ing for our lov e will only be pr olonging
t he inev it able. Dominick has me. Besides, t he fight t akes
ener gy . It t akes wor ds and emot ions t hat Iv e r un clean out of.
Im dr ained in ev er y possible way .
I hav e no fight left .
Good-by e, Jonah.
~*~
Jonah
Fuck! I launch my phone acr oss t he r oom. It shat t er s
against t he wall. Iv e just dest r oy ed my only way of get t ing
in t ouch wit h Rav en.
My ass dr ops t o t he couch and I r est my elbows on my
t highs. I r un my hands t hr ough my hair like my head is a
genies bot t le and Im begging for my t hr ee wishes.
What in t he hell just happened?
You called her a bit ch, asshole.
What was I t hinking? I was pumped up fr om my meet ing
wit h Dominick and sick of being away fr om Rav en all day .
Iv e nev er seen t hat at t it ude fr om her befor e. It caught me off
guar d, and I slipped. But she was pissed befor e t hat .
Gr owling in fr ust r at ion, I sit back and st ar e at t he ceiling
in my liv ing r oom. This isnt ov er . Im not let t ing her get
away wit h a simple fucking hang-up.
No. She will t alk t o me and t ell me what t he fuck is going
on. Jumping up fr om t he couch, I gr ab my key s. Ill dr iv e
ev er y st r eet of t his cit y unt il I find her .
My t r uck t hunder s t hr ough t he st r eet s of Las Vegas. I
check ev er y wher e. Fir st Rav ens st udio, t hen Nor i Pizza
wher e Ev e wor ks. The host ess gav e me Ev es addr ess so I could
check t her e. Aft er I t alk t o Rav en and giv e her a fir m
spanking, Im t alking t o Ev e. Employ ees shouldnt be giv ing
out addr esses. The way t he gir l act ed, I pr obably could hav e
got t en her bank account and social secur it y number s if Id
asked.
No sign of her Nov a any wher e. Aft er an hour of cir cling
t he cit y , I go back t o her place and wait .
Par ked out fr ont of Guy s Gar age, I r eplay my
conv er sat ion wit h Rav en for t he milliont h t ime. She usually
answer s t he phone wit h a smile in her v oice. This t ime she
was pissed fr om hello. What could I hav e done t o upset her
fr om t he t ime I left her in my bed t his mor ning?
I wat ch t he number s on t he clock climb. It s just aft er one
in t he mor ning. Rubbing t he exhaust ion fr om my ey es, I hear
t he familiar r umble of Rav ens Nov a. Shes dr iv ing like an
Andr et t i. Her car scr eeches t hr ough t he t ur n int o t he
par king lot . I jump out of my t r uck as she t hr ows t he Nov a
int o a spot sideway s. She slams shut her car door , mut t er ing
somet hing about r einfor ced st eel walls.
I make it t o her as shes t ur ning ar ound. She jumps and
st ops her self just shor t of r unning int o my chest . I r each t o
pull her t o me. She st iffens, dodging my embr ace. Her ey es
av oid mine, but I can t ell shes been cr y ing.
What t he fuck?
Baby , dont close me out . I dont under st and what I did
She silences me wit h a pier cing glar e.
Okay , I called y ou a bi uh, t he b-wor d. Im so sor r y for
t hat . If I could t ake it back I would.
I cup her cheek and pr ay she doesnt push me away . The
moment my skin connect s wit h her s, she pr esses int o my hold
and closes her ey es. A lone t ear makes a pat h down her face,
pooling at my hand.
Baby , t alk t o me. What did I do? You wer e pissed befor e I
called y ou. When y ou answer ed t he phone, I could t ell y ou
wer e mad. She leans int o my hand. What y ou said about
my meet ing
She snaps out of my hold wit h wide ey es and st ands t o her
full fiv e foot eight inches. Her face is har d, t he soft ness she
showed ear lier complet ely er ased.
What s wr ong? You want t o know what s wr ong? she
say s wit h a shaky v oice and cold, har d gaze.
Iv e nev er seen her like t his. Shes fur ious. I r each for her
again and she shov es my ar ms away . I st ep back.
Ill t ell y ou what s wr ong, Jonah. I was t old y est er day by
my biological jer k-wad t hat he br ed me for pr ost it ut ion.
Then, my boy fr iend t ook bet t er car e of me t han Iv e ev er been
t aken car e of in my life, just t o t ur n ar ound and br eak my
fucking hear t !
I flinch at her cur se. Br oke y our hear t ?
Do y ou know what it s like t o go y our ent ir e life nev er
being t ouched? Nev er being t old t hat y our e lov ed? She
laughs and her lip quiv er s as she wipes her t ear s. No one was
ev er t her e for me. Not when I was sick. Or sad. Nev er . Can
y ou ev en fat hom t he effect t hat has on a per son? They hav e a
t er m for it . It s called Failur e-t o-Thr iv e Sy ndr ome.
She exhales and her shoulder s slump. You want t o know
t he fir st t ime I hear d t he wor ds Im pr oud of y ou?
My hear t cr amps wit h ev er y br oken wor d.
Mar ch 1 6, 2 007 . Sick isnt it ? I r emember t he exact day .
I was fift een y ear s old. It wasnt my mom or my dad who said
it . It was Guy . My high school shop t eacher .
Her ey es glist en wit h t ear s. I pict ur e a lit t le dar k-hair ed
gir l cr y ing alone wit h no one t o comfor t her . My hat r ed for
her par ent s r oot s deep in my soul. Ev en now, it s not my
Rav en st anding befor e me. It s t hat sad lit t le gir l who
desper at ely want s t o be lov ed. Who cr av es t he t ouch and
comfor t t hat only a par ent can pr ov ide. I want t o r each out
and hold her , but her ar ms wr apped ar ound her body in a
pr ot ect iv e shield.
Then y ou come along. Her v oice is soft er now and she
meet s my ey es.
I am undone, power less against her pain.
You hold me, pr ot ect me, wor r y about me t ell me y ou
lov e me. And t he sun shines on me for t he fir st t ime in my
life. I look bey ond y our past , y our r eput at ion, all because Im
so desper at e for what y ou giv e me. I fell so deeply and madly
in lov e wit h y ou I couldnt see st r aight .
I wat ch t he clear wat er s of her ey es t ur n st or my and cold.
And t hen y ou find out what I r eally am and y ou r un t o her .
Not ev en t went y -four hour s aft er y ou left me war m in y our
bed, y ou go t o her ! Her last wor ds br eak wit h t he cr ies t hat
assault her body .
Her? I dont hav e any idea what shes t alking about , but I
hat e my self any way for hur t ing her like t his.
Rav en, baby , y ou hav e t o list en t o me. I dont know what
y our e t alking about . Her ? Her who? I didnt r un t o any one.
Im r ight her e wit h y ou.
I br av e a t ouch and wr ap my hand ar ound t he nape of her
neck. Bending down so she can look in my ey es, I flex my
finger s int o her skin. Rav en, look at me.
Her ey es come t o mine. The br okenness of her past shines
t hr ough t heir aquamar ine dept hs.
I lov e y ou. Your e t he only gir l I ev er want t o r un t o.
Her ey es nar r ow, but t his t ime not in anger . This looks
mor e like confusion. But I saw y ou. You wer e t her e at her
club. I saw y our t r uck out side in t he lot .
Shit. I st udy my feet , but keep hold of her neck. She knows
I was at Zeuss. She t hinks I r an t o Candy because of
ev er y t hing t hat happened wit h Dominick.
It upset s me t hat she doesnt believ e my feelings for her
ar e st r onger t han what Dominick has planned. But I know
t hat s not what made her believ e I would r un t o Candy so
easily . Her lack of self-wor t h is ingr ained. My hat e for her
par ent s fest er s and spr eads.
Ill explain, get on my knees and beg if t hat s what it t akes
for her t o under st and. Id do any t hing if it means I get t o keep
t he lost gir l I hold in my hand.
I was at Zeuss Play gr ound t onight , but it wasnt for t he
r eason y ou t hink.
Her face is st ill har d, but t he muscles in her neck r elax a
fr act ion.
Blake and I had a meet ing t her e. I pause a second t o
make sur e shes st ill wit h me. We met wit h Dominick.
Jonah, why ? She st eps close and gr abs t he wr ist of t he
ar m t hat s holding her . He could hav e hur t y ou. Ar e y ou
okay ? She r uns her hands ov er my chest , ar ms and up t o my
shoulder s, sear ching for phy sical damage.
My skin t ingles at t he t ouch I was afr aid I might nev er
feel again. I t ake adv ant age and wr ap my ar ms ar ound her
waist t o pull her closer .
Yeah, Im fine, but can we t alk about t his inside? I look
up t owar ds Rav ens st udio and pict ur e t r y ing t o cr am my self
int o her bed. Nope, not happening. Or bet t er y et , can I t ake
y ou home now? Ill explain ev er y t hing t her e.
Her ey es dr op t o her feet , and she sucks her bot t om lip
int o her mout h.
Please say y es.
She sniffs and wipes t he t ear s fr om her cheeks. Okay .
I exhale t he br eat h I was holding and pull her int o a deep
hug. Placing a quick kiss on her head, and inhaling t he smell
of her hair , my hear t slows it s fr ant ic pace.
Not want ing t o let her out of my sight , I walk her t o t he
passenger side of t he t r uck and usher her in. Then I snag her
backpack fr om her car , shut and lock her door s.
The r ide t o my house is silent . I not ice Rav en st ill looks
confused, and I gr ab her hand t o r est on my t high. Her
expr ession soft ens as I gent ly r un my t humb along t he
smoot h skin of her wr ist .
Once home, I open her door and help her out . I swing my
ar m ov er her shoulder and she leans int o my t ouch. Fr om my
gar age, we walk up t o t he house side by side. I t ell my self t o
giv e her some space, but Im not r eady t o let go of t he comfor t
her body giv es mine.
Set t ling on t he liv ing r oom couch, I br ing her a glass of
wat er and sit next t o her . Shes t ur ned t owar d me wit h her
legs bent , knees t o chest , ar ms wr apped ar ound her shins.
I r un a hand t hr ough my hair . Im sor r y I lied t o y ou. I
was afr aid if I t old y ou t he t r ut h y oud wor r y or t r y t o t alk me
out of it . Aft er seeing y ou y est er day and last night , my jaw
inv olunt ar ily t ight ens at t he memor y of her hur t ing, I had
t o do somet hing. I had t o t r y .
She nods, but r emains silent .
I t ell Rav en about t he meet ing, car eful t o expose ev er y
det ail. When I finish, she st ar es past me, as if shes seeking
counsel wit h some unseen for ce just ov er my shoulder . I allow
t he silence and giv e her t ime t o pr ocess all t he infor mat ion.
So, y our e going t o lose y our fight ? On pur pose?
Yes.
But y ouv e been wait ing so long for t his fight . How can
y ou giv e it up so easily ?
Simple. Iv e been wait ing longer for y ou.
The best t hing t hat ev er happened t o me shows up in
cov er alls and a pair of Chucks when I least expect it . Ill do
what ev er it t akes t o keep her .
I lean for war d and un-wr ap her ar ms fr om her knees.
Holding her hands, I pr ess t hem t o my chest . You feel t hat ?
Ev er y beat pounding away ? You do t hat t o me. I want t o
gr oan. Im so fr ust r at ed. How can I get her t o under st and how
much she means t o me? I squeeze her hands. Your e par t of
me now. Id do any t hing for y ou. Ill fight for y our life as Id
fight for my own.
Wonder color s her face. She t hr ows her body int o mine
and t ucks in t ight on my lap. I wr ap her up in my ar ms and
hold on. I almost lost her .
Im so sor r y , Jonah. Please for giv e me. I had no idea. I
t hought y ou had lied about t he meet ing and t hat y ou wer e
leav ing me. I hear d y ou and Owen t alking about y ou
br eaking up wit h me, and I t hought it was because
Hold on. I lean away t o look in her ey es. I nev er t old
Owen I was br eaking up wit h y ou. Wher e did y ou hear t hat ?
You guy s wer e t alking when I woke up. Her gaze swings
t owar d t he kit chen t hen back t o mine. I hear d y ou.
I t hink back t o t he conv er sat ion and st ar t t o laugh. Rav en
wr inkles her nose, which makes me laugh har der .
Why ar e y ou laughing?
Baby , we wer ent t alking about me br eaking up wit h
y ou. We wer e t alking about my plan t o meet Dominick. I
knew I was going t o hav e t o lie t o y ou about it . Owen wasnt
happy about t hat , t hought y oud alr eady been t hr ough
enough. And he was wor r ied about me coming face t o face
wit h him.
The cor ner s of her mout h lift slight ly befor e she bur r ows
back int o my chest . I swear y ou find t he st r angest t hings
funny .
Oh, t hat s r ich coming fr om y ou.
Blake is funny , she say s like a pet ulant child.
I hold Rav en, her body r elaxed and nest led int o mine. I
t hink of how she was neglect ed as a child. I smoot h her hair
and kiss her head, wishing I could be enough t o fill t hat v oid
in her soul.
I cant change her past . But Ill damn well keep her safe in
t he fut ur e. Aft er she hung up on me t onight , not knowing
wher e she was, I was dr iv ing all ov er t own wor r ied shed been
in an accident , or wor se. That shit aint happening again.
Baby ?
Yeah?
That st unt y ou pulled on t he phone wit h me t onight ?
Her body cur ls deeper int o my lap. Um, which par t ?
You should know t onight wont be t he last t ime I fuck up.
Im new t o r elat ionship st uff, so y ou can plan on get t ing pissed
at me a lot . But fr om now on, when y our e pissed, y ou do it
wher e I can see y ou.
She pushes her self up, her hand on my chest . See y ou?
You can put up walls and not t alk t o me, call me ev er y
name in t he book, t hr ow shit at me, I dont car e. But y oull do
it with me and end ev er y night in my bed.
But , but
No but s. I wr ap my hand ar ound t he back of her neck
and giv e her a squeeze. Iv e been in fight s wit h guy s t wice
my size, been locked in holds so t ight I didnt know if Id
sur v iv e, but Iv e nev er been as scar ed as I was t onight .
Jonah
Dr iv ing ar ound t own, looking for y our car , knowing t hat
Dominick has his sight s on y ou I slide my hand up and
gr ab a handful of her silky hair . I cant lose y ou.
She blinks once t hen again. I pr omise. Youll nev er lose
me, Jonah. She r est s her for ehead against mine. Nev er .
I pull her t o my chest and she nest les in.
No mor e hanging up on my ass eit her , I say while I r ub
her back.
Okay . As long as y ou nev er call me t he b-wor d again.
Deal.
She sighs and nuzzles her face against my neck. I feel t he
br ush of her nose under my ear . As if t ouching isnt enough,
she br eat hes in deep, t aking a lit t le bit of me inside her . I st ifle
a gr oan.
Shift ing on my lap, she t empt s me wit h her sexy ass. The
sweet fr agr ance of her shampoo combined wit h t he feel of her
soft body per meat es my br ain. Im ov er whelmed wit h t he
bur ning desir e t o be inside her . My blood r aces. The pr imal
man in me want s t o st and up and beat his chest , knowing
t hat hes found a woman t o claim, t o mar k her as his own,
going places wit h her t hat no man has gone befor e.
I lov e y ou, Rav en.
She t ilt s her head up t o look at me. I lov e y ou.
I br ush my knuckles against her cheek. Can I show y ou?
Her ey ebr ows dr op low.
Make lov e t o y ou, baby . I answer her unspoken
quest ion.
Her body goes r igid in my ar ms and she st udies my face.
What ev er she sees seems t o agr ee wit h her . A sexy smile pulls
at her lips and damn if t hat doesnt seal t he deal.
Nodding her head slowly , I st and wit h her st ill in my
ar ms. She cups my face, her t humbs at my dimples, and
places feat her light kisses against my mout h. I r ace t o t he
bedr oom, her giggles bouncing against my lips t he ent ir e
way .
Seventeen
Raven
Locked in Jonahs bat hr oom, I st ar e at my self in t he
mir r or . My hands gr ip t he count er and I lean in t o st udy my
face: r ed-r immed, bloodshot ey es and a wild mane of dar k
hair fr aming my pale face.
Lov ely . I look like a zombie. Real sexy , Rav en, I whisper
t o my self.
Ev en t hough I t ook a shower a few hour s ago, I decide
anot her one might help t o r inse t he dead, decay ing look fr om
my face. I pull my hair int o a messy bun t o keep it dr y , and
st and under t he war m wat er . A good scr ub of my face has me
feeling human again. I hop out and t he r ealit y of what s
about t o happen has me pat t ing my body dr y fast er t han
usual. But t er flies swir l in my belly along wit h eager
ant icipat ion.
A smile pulls at my cheeks, flooding my body wit h
war mt h. I push t he obst acles fr om t oday t o t he back of my
head and lock my wor r ies away . They ll st ill be t her e
t omor r ow. Tonight , it s just us.
I br ush my t eet h and t hr ow on a new pair of pant ies I
bought on my last Vict or ias Secr et shopping spr ee. Aft er I
slide t he br ight blue lace up my legs, I check out my
r eflect ion fr om all angles.
This par t icular st y le is called The Cheeky and while
checking out my backside, I can see why . The low slung, hip
hugger s ar e made of delicat e lace t hat cut up dr amat ically in
t he back accent ing t he full cur v es of my bot t om. I bought
t hese wit h Jonah in mind. He cant seem t o keep his hands off
my boot y , and I cant wait t o see what he t hinks of t hese.
I for go a br a or t ank and decide t opless is t he way t o go. I
r un a br ush t hr ough my hair and allow t he messy wav es t o
fall in haphazar d disar r ay .
A quick peek int o t he bedr oom r ev eals lit candles, soft
music, but no Jonah. I r ace t o his bed, ar ms cr ossed at my
chest , and cr awl on t op. Ly ing on my st omach, I t ake deep
br eat hs t o calm my ner v es.
He has so much exper ience wit h sex. What if I disappoint
him? Hes used t o sexually confident women who pr obably
hang fr om t he r aft er s or st and on t heir heads. I cant compet e
wit h t hat .
St op it . It s going t o be fine. You can hang fr om r aft er s, I
whisper . Muffling my giggles int o t he pillow, I pict ur e my self
in some r idiculous posit ion which only ant agonizes my
ner v es.
Think sexy . No giggling.
I br eat he deep, and v isions of Jonah quiet my t hought s. I
welcome t he sult r y v oice of Ella Fit zger ald and t he smell of
light ly scent ed candle wax t o soot he my fr azzled ner v es.
I hear t he click of t he bedr oom door as it opens t hen soft ly
closes. St ill on my st omach, my ar ms folded under my head, I
t ur n t o see him and almost choke.
Jonahs in not hing but a pair of black pajama pant s. They
hang low on his hips exposing t he v of his lower abdominal
muscles, dust ed wit h dar k hair . Holy crud. His inky black
hair is spiked wit h moist ur e. He must hav e t aken a shower in
t he guest bat hr oom. Kaleidoscopic ar ms, bulging wit h
muscle, t ense at his sides, I gawk at his masculine body t hen
set t le on his smiling face. His hazel ey es mov e ov er me in a
v isual car ess, causing a t r emor of need t o v ibr at e beneat h my
skin.
Fuck. You look so sexy r ight now. His deep v oice and
dir t y t alk hav e me t r embling.
My ey es lock on his as he cr osses t he r oom t o t he bed.
You t ake my br eat h away . His penet r at ing gaze r oams
ov er ev er y inch of my for m. Dont mov e. St ay just like
t hat .
I obey , and he disappear s t o t he foot of t he bed. What s he
doing?
The mat t r ess dips at my feet just befor e I feel t he war mt h
of his hands cov er my calv es. Using t hem t o guide him, he
slowly climbs up my body unt il he st r addles my hips. The
fabr ic of his cot t on pant s br ushes my exposed skin. I t ake a
deep br eat h and r elax as t he t ips of his finger s r un along t he
edge of my pant ies at my back.
These ar e my fav or it e. His finger s t r ace fr om one hip t o
t he ot her .
I bought t hem just for y ou. I t hought y oud like t hem.
I fuckin lov e em. He flexes his hips int o t he space
bet ween my legs, his blat ant ar ousal making me gasp. Cant
y ou t ell?
Um, y eah, I can. Ner v ous giggles cr eep up fr om my
chest and t ickle my t hr oat . Don t giggle!
He t r aces t he line of my t at t oo fr om my hip t o my
shoulder . My skin t ingles and goose bumps br eak out acr oss
my flesh. The bed dips by my head, and he nips at t he shell of
my ear . I inhale cit r us and spice, swir ling my senses and
ignit ing a fir e in my belly .
Hav e I ev er t old y ou how much I lov e y our t at t oo? His
mout h t r av els along t he side of my t hr oat wher e he kisses at
his spot .
My head t ilt s t o t he side t o welcome his at t ent ion. His soft
lips follow t he line of bir ds, gent ly kissing and licking unt il
hes back at my hip. A pleasur ed moan r ises fr om my chest .
You like t hat , baby ? he asks against my skin.
I ar ch my back, lift ing my bot t om up and int o his chest .
He slides his hand beneat h t he lace and cups one cheek,
squeezing and molding it in his hand while his mout h
cont inues it s t or t ur e.
Jonah, I want t o see y ou. My wor ds finish on a whimper .
Not y et . Im not finished play ing wit h y ou.
Im so t ur ned on alr eady I cant imagine what it s going t o
be like when hes finished play ing wit h me.
His lar ge hands mov e back up t o massage my shoulder s
wit h gent le pr essur e. Hav ing nev er been t ouched t his way
befor e, my body r esponds in new and unfamiliar way s. I melt
int o t he bed. A glor ious t ingling st ar t s at my chest wor king
it s way t hr ough my v eins and heat ing my blood.
His slow power ful st r okes wor k down my back. I feel small
and delicat e under his exper t t ouch. Hands, lips, t ongue, and
t eet h, all st imulat e my hunger . Im pant ing and gr eedy . My
moans combine wit h t he soft music filling t he r oom, cr eat ing
an er ot ic sy mphony .
Jonah, I cant t ake much mor e. I mov e t o r oll ov er , but
Jonah pr esses his chest int o my back, caging me t o t he bed
wit h his weight . His ar ms r est close t o my face and I bar ely
hold back t he desir e t o lean ov er and t r ace t he t at t oos on his
biceps wit h my t ongue.
My gir ls eager . He r ocks his hips int o me.
An embar r assing whine flies fr om my lips, and I gr ind
back int o him. Int imat e par t s of my body r equest , no, beg for
his at t ent ion.
You keep t hat up. This will be ov er befor e it begins. He
nips at my neck, soot hing his t ender bit es wit h slow sweeps of
his t ongue. Dont wor r y , baby . Well get t o t hat . Fir st , we
need t o t alk.
My body fr eezes and I t wist my neck t o look at him.
Talk? I dont want t o t alk. I sound like a child for ced t o
eat her v eget ables.
How sexy is t hat ?
He bit es his lip, fight ing a smile. We hav e t o. I know
y our e on t he pill, so bir t h cont r ol is t aken car e of, r ight ?
My face falls int o my folded ar ms t o hide my pink cheeks.
Yes. How did y ou St upid quest ion. Hes seen me t ake
t hem. Nev er mind.
The only par ent al t hing my mom ev er did was t ake me t o
get put on t he pill at sixt een. She pr obably t hought Id end up
just like her . Gah! I don t want to think about this now.
Her es t he t hing. Iv e nev er had sex wit hout a condom.
Iv e also nev er made lov e t o a woman befor e. How would y ou
feel about me not wear ing one?
Ugh! Jonah, y our e ser iously killing t he moment her e. I
speak my muffled complaint int o t he pillow.
What ? Im being t hor ough. It s y our fir st t ime and I want
it t o be good for y ou. I t hink going bar eback would be bet t er .
But I wont do it wit hout y our per mission.
Bar eback?
Wit hout a condom.
Iv e had fant asies about what my fir st t ime wit h Jonah
would be like. In all my v er sions of t his moment , I nev er had
a conv er sat ion t hat inv olv ed t he wor d bar eback. This
r eminder of Jonahs sexual exper ience t o my lack t her eof is
off-put t ing. But I lov e him and I believ e he lov es me. Ther es
no doubt in my mind t hat he has my best int er est at hear t .
He alway s does.
I t r ust y ou.
His weight lift s and he falls t o my side. I pr op my self up on
my elbows and look int o his handsome, smiling face.
All r ight , no mor e t alking.
On a gr owl, he leans ov er and possesses my mout h. His
t ongue glides along mine, r ekindling my need. I t ilt my head
and pr ess in deeper . My t oes cur l and my back ar ches in an
at t empt t o get closer . He sucks my t ongue int o his mout h and
r uns his t eet h along it as I pull it back. The simple scr ape
t ur ns my insides t o liquid.
Mor e.
The wor d echoes in my head, sending t he message t o
ev er y ner v e cell in my body . Hes consuming me, and I want
not hing mor e t han t o cr awl inside him. His hand cur ls
ar ound t he back of my head and he r olls. My legs open t o him,
cr adling his body . He hov er s ov er me, t he har d plains of his
chest cushioned against my br east s. Flexing his hips, he
gr inds int o me wit h solid st eel and I swallow his moan.
His hands dig int o my hair , gr abbing it fir mly at t he
r oot s. A slight t ug opens my mout h fur t her and he plunges
deeper . Wit h fir m pr essur e he cont inues t o r ock against me,
building my impending r elease. My st omach flips wit h t he
pr omise of what s t o come.
Br eaking fr ee for air , he kisses down my neck, leav ing me
pant ing for br eat h. His war m mout h closes ov er t he fir m t ip
of my br east . Elect r icit y shoot s down my t or so t o my womb.
He swit ches back and for t h, sucking on one while r olling t he
t ip of t he ot her bet ween his finger and t humb. I slide my legs
against his, r est less and impat ient .
So fucking r esponsiv e, he gr owls, t he r umble of his deep
v oice against my chest v ibr at ing down my body . God, y ou
t ast e so sweet . He licks and pulls at my br east . I want t o
t ast e t he r est of y ou.
His wor ds ar e r ocket fuel t o my libido. Im wr it hing and
pant ing. His hands r oam down my t or so t o bet ween my legs.
My body bows off t he bed. If I wasnt so want on, Id be
embar r assed at my lack of cont r ol.
He r uns his lips down t he lengt h of my body , pausing only
t o nip at my belly but t on.
Mmm, Jonah I want t o say somet hing t o
communicat e how good he feels against my skin, but Im t oo
lost in t he sensat ion.
Hooking his finger s int o t he fine lace of my pant ies, he
shr eds t hem wit h a fir m t ug. I moan, lift ing my hips, and he
t osses t he flimsy lace t o t he floor . Im all feeling and emot ion,
complet ely v oid of r at ional t hought .
He lift s his head and giv es me his sexy , one-dimpled
smile. This one is similar t o t he one Iv e got t en befor e, but
bet t er . Way bet t er . His lower ed lids and dar k glar e t ur n t his
smile int o somet hing differ ent all t oget her , and Im gone.
Complet ely owned wit h one look.
I t r emble as he places himself bet ween my legs. His ey es
lock on mine seconds befor e he dips down. His mout h pr esses
against me in a pr obing t hr ust . My head falls back. Ev er y
ner v e fir es and Im ov er come wit h desir e. His hands st ill my
hips in a display of full car nal dominat ion. Gr ipping t he
sheet s, I dig my heels int o t he mat t r ess and push my hips up
begging for mor e. His mout h commands my body , pulling
my st r ings and pushing me on. He slides his hands beneat h
my bot t om t o t ilt my hips, delv ing deeper and t hr ust ing
har der . Euphor ia swir ls behind my ey es wit h ev er y abr asiv e
scr at ch of his st ubble bet ween my legs.
Jonah, Im gonna My wor ds fade int o a glor ious moan
and I bit my lip.
He pulls back, t he cold air hit s me har d. I open my ey es t o
see him br aced abov e me looking int ent ly int o my face.
Why did y ou st op? I didnt I was almost t her e. My
v oice whines wit h disappoint ment .
Your e r eady .
Hes not asking, but I nod.
Yes! Im r eady !
He kisses my chin. You sur e about t his? Cause, fuck
baby , I need t o be inside y ou. He r uns his t ongue along my
bot t om lip. Deep inside y ou.
I push my hips up and dig my finger nails int o his ar ms.
Yeah, my gir ls r eady .
He slides his pant s down and kicks t hem t o t he floor . I
st ar e openly at his ar ousal.
This is going t o hur t . Bad.
Dont wor r y , baby . Ill go slow.
My ey es dar t t o his face. Did I say that out loud?
He cr awls up my body , ey es fixed on mine. His hands
push my ar ms abov e my head, weav ing our finger s t oget her .
In t his posit ion, his weight against me, his huge body for cing
my legs apar t , Im complet ely at his mer cy . Helpless against
his inv asion. And t ot ally safe. War m, silken heat nudges it s
way in, slowly pr essing, for cing me open. Inst inct iv ely , my
body r esist s and I pr ess my knees int o his sides.
Deep br eat h. He br ushes his lips against my jaw.
Relax.
Taking a deep br eat h, I concent r at e on r elaxing my
muscles. He pushes in fur t her .
I lov e y ou. He speaks t he wor ds against my neck,
feat her ing kisses against my skin.
He r eleases my hands, and I br ace t hem against his r ibs.
His pulse r aces against my palms. His hazel ey es dar ken and
wor r y cr osses his face.
What s wr ong?
This is it .
It ?
A deep pink blush color s his cheeks. My ey es widen.
Oh, IT.
He looks conflict ed. I dont want t o hur t y ou.
I wr ap my legs ar ound his hips and use my heels t o pr ess
him t o me. Im r eady , Jonah. I want t his. I want y ou t o be
t he one t o do it . I lov e y ou. The confidence in my v oice
mir r or s t he feelings in my hear t .
He smiles so sweet ly t hat Im for ced t o cat ch my br eat h.
Okay , baby . Take a deep br eat h and blow it out slowly .
My ey es lock on his in det er minat ion. Taking a deep
br eat h t hr ough my nose, I hold it and nod. I blow t he br eat h
out slowly , and when Im almost out of air , he bur ies himself
complet ely . A hiss shoot s fr om his lips as he pushes past t he
final bar r ier of my v ir ginit y . My ey es slam shut at t he
sear ing pain.
Im so sor r y , sweet hear t . I lov e y ou. Tender br ushes of
his lips t r ail fr om my jaw t o my shoulder .
Aft er a minut e, I r elease his hips, my legs no longer able
t o hold him wit h t heir quiv er ing muscles. The bur n r ecedes,
leav ing behind a delicious fullness.
Past t he pain, I focus on Jonahs face: bot h dimples, full
t eet h, and shining ey es. Pur e male pr ide.
He cups my face, r unning his t humbs along my cheeks.
Feel okay ?
Per fect . I r ake my hands int o his hair and pull him in
for a deep, wet kiss.
My gir l.
His mov ement s st ar t slow, dissolv ing my discomfor t and
awakening my hunger . I scr ape my nails along his scalp,
gr asping in desper at ion. Closer , deeper , har der . Mor e. I dont
know what s come ov er me. All I know is t hat I need Jonah
mor e t han oxy gen.
Jonah, I
A gasp r obs me of my wor ds as he r ocks int o my body .
Ripples of pleasur e shoot up my t or so and coil in my chest . I
gr ip his backside wit h t wo hands, feeling t he flex and r elease
of his muscles as he mov es bet ween my legs.
Possession pushes below t he sur face of my skin. An
animalist ic sat isfact ion at being mar ked, per manent ly
changed by t he man I lov e.
Mor e. The simple spoken wor d has him r olling his hips
deeper , and t hr ust ing har der .
Yes!
I gr oan as t he t ension builds, chur ning low and r eady t o
bur st .
Your e per fect . So hot , and fuck, so t ight , he gr owls int o
my mout h.
Im hot and wr it hing, his wor ds and body mast er ing
mine. Ev er y angle winds me t ight er , pushing me higher . I
buck against him, sear ching for r elease.
A shift of his hips in t he r ight spot and spar ks fly behind
my ey es. I suck in a lungful of air , my r elease shoot ing
t hr ough my body . My nails dig int o his biceps and I call out
his name against his lips. He cont inues t o r ock int o me. And
just like an exper t guit ar play er hit t ing t he per fect chor d,
anot her explosion of pleasur e pushes t hr ough me. My heels
dig int o t he bed, r iding out my climax. Blissful sat isfact ion
washes ov er me in wav es. I labor for br eat h, float ing down
and sinking int o t he bed.
Is it alway s like t his?
My body hums. I blink away t he post -or gasm fog. My
limbs fall t o t he side, sat ed and heav y .
It s only t hen t hat I not ice Jonah st ill mov ing abov e me.
His color ful ar ms flex and pulse. His ey es lock on mine, and he
bit es his bot t om lip. I cant r esist t he ur ge t o t ast e it my self
and push up t o pull at t he soft flesh wit h my t eet h. He
r eleases it and I suck it deep int o my mout h.
He quickens his pace t hen gr owls his r elease. Heat fills my
body wher e t he st ing has died t o a dull ache. I lick and suck at
his lips and t ongue unt il his mov ement slows. He collapses
ont o my body , and I wr ap my legs ar ound his waist , my ar ms
ar ound his neck. We br eat he heav y , chest t o chest , hear t s
pounding against each ot her , unt il we calm.
Im not r eady t o giv e y ou up, he say s against my skin
while mov ing gent ly inside me.
Im not r eady t o be giv en up.
We kiss, t his t ime absent of t he heat fr om ear lier . Only
gent le t ouches and whisper s of affect ion.
Thank y ou, Jonah. That was bet t er t han I imagined.
His lips br ush mine once mor e befor e he r olls off of me. I
wince as he pulls fr ee fr om our connect ion. He falls t o my side
and wr aps me in his ar ms.
My head on his chest , he t akes a deep br eat h. Baby , t hat
was incr edible.
We lie in silence, Alicia Key s singing How it Feels t o Fly
and soot hing t he aft er shocks of our lov emaking. The ly r ics
send goose bumps r acing acr oss my skin. Ly ing her e in
Jonahs ar ms, hav ing giv en him t he only t hing of wor t h t hat
I hav e t o giv e, Iv e nev er felt fr eer . Tear s st ing my ey es, and I
swipe at one t hat r olls down my cheek.
Ah, shit . Im sor r y . Was it t oo r ough? Ar e y ou okay ?
Jonahs hands ar e at my face, wiping at t he moist ur e beneat h
my ey es.
Pr opping my self up, I look at him and smile. Do I look
okay ?
No. I mean, of cour se, y ou look amazing. But y our e
cr y ing.
He cont inues t o dr y my way war d t ear s. I st op his hands
wit h mine. Im fine. It s been an emot ional day . My finger s
t r ace t he t at t oo on his chest . Was it , um, okay ? You know,
for y ou?
He t hr ows his head back in a quick bur st of laught er .
Shit , let s put aside t he fact t hat Im in lov e wit h y ou. Let s
also not count t he fact t hat being skin on skin, no bar r ier
bet ween me and y our hot , wet , gr ipping
I smack him play fully in t he ar m, my lips upt ur ned and
cheeks cr amping fr om t he glowing r ev iew hes giv ing me.
Okay , all t hat aside, t he way y our body r esponds t o
mine, t he slight est t ouch or shift in my posit ion Moans of
pleasur e coming fr om t hose gor geous lips Baby , t hat was
t he hot t est His ey es dar t t o t he side as if hes hav ing a har d
t ime put t ing wor ds t o his feelings. What we did t onight was
mor e beaut iful t han any t hing Iv e ev er exper ienced.
I feel t he same. Im glad I wait ed for y ou, Jonah. You
deser v e t o be my fir st
And y our last .
My jaw dr ops open befor e I cat ch it and slam it shut .
Could he r eally mean what he just said? Iv e hear d men
do t hat , say t hings t hey dont r eally mean aft er sex because
t hey r e caught up in t he moment . He doesnt look uncer t ain.
Hes not smiling, his mout h isnt t wit ching uncomfor t ably .
His ey es ar e fixed on mine and his face is soft . I dont hav e
much exper ience in t his ar ea, but if I had t o guess, Id say he
looks like a man in lov e.
My r at ional side bust s out a checklist . He r eplaced my
door , r isked his safet y t o t alk t o Dominick, hunt ed me down
aft er I hung up on him, and t onight he lov ed me, mind, body ,
and soul.
How could I t ake adv ant age of his lov e by allowing him t o
giv e up his fight for me? Ther e has t o be anot her way . My
mind is slow wit h fat igue and sexual sat isfact ion, but I scr oll
t hr ough possible alt er nat iv es. Bey ond ending my life, which
isnt an opt ion, t her es only one ot her t hing I can do.
Jonah?
Yeah?
I clear my t hr oat , my mout h suddenly dr y . I could r un.
Silence.
I could just t ake off and dr iv e t o New Yor k or Flor ida. Ill
change my name and find a job t hat pay s cash. Aft er a while,
y ou could come v isit me. You wouldnt hav e t o t hr ow y our
fight . I could ev en get
No. His answer isnt angr y , but absolut e. That s no
way t o liv e. Wed hav e t o mov e ev er y few mont hs, const ant ly
looking ov er our shoulder s.
You dont know t hat . He might just giv e up when he
cant find me locally .
Hooking his hands under my ar ms, he pulls me up his
chest and wer e face t o face.
You t hink Dominick is t he kind of man t o let go of
somet hing he want s? You know hed come aft er y ou, Rav en,
for no ot her r eason t han he doesnt like t o lose. I want y ou fr ee
fr om all t ies, and t hr owing t he fight is t he only way . Money is
t he only language Dominick under st ands.
Hot t ear s pool in my ey es and cool as t hey cascade down
my face. Ill nev er be able t o r e-pay y ou for all y our e giv ing
up for me. Im afr aid t hat , in t ime, y oull r esent me.
Impossible. The t it le will alway s be t her e. The fight is
r eplaceable. Your e not .
Closing my ey es, I bur y my face in his neck. I lov e y ou.
It s t he only t hing I can t hink of t o communicat e my
appr eciat ion. But it s not enough.
I lov e y ou t oo. He r eposit ions me at his side.
I lean up and giv e him my lips. It s in t his kiss t hat t wo
t r ut hs penet r at e and soak int o my soul.
Fir st , Jonah lov es me.
And, second, I dont know what t he fut ur e will br ing, but
what ev er happens, I wont be facing it alone.
Eighteen
Raven
I shiv er as cool air washes ov er my back all t he way down
t o my t highs. Sur facing fr om my deep sleep, I r each for t he
blanket t o war d off t he cold when I feel somet hing war m
pleasant ly t easing my hip. Lit t le by lit t le, t he cold is chased
away and a t ingling heat mov es t hr ough my body . I blink
my ey es open, awar e of t he slight shift ing of t he bed and t he
soft t ouch t hat makes it s way up my back. Jonah. Like last
night , hes kissing a t r ail along t he pat h of my t at t oo.
Last night! My ey es pop open as impassioned memor ies
t ear t heir way t hr ough my sleep. I lost my v ir ginit y . A giggle
er upt s fr om my t hr oat .
He smiles against my shoulder . Tickle? His deep,
gr av elly v oice against my skin r aises goose bumps down my
ar m.
Mmm, no. Feels good.
Your e laughing.
Shaking my head, I r efuse t o div ulge my schoolgir l
t hought s.
I didnt t hink waking up t o y ou in my bed could get any
bet t er . But waking up t o y ou, wit h y our hot lit t le body , naked
and pr essed against mine? He nibbles and licks at his spot on
my neck. The shit dr eams ar e made of. Gr oaning, he pushes
himself up t o my ear . I hat e t o leav e y ou like t his, but I hav e
a phone int er v iew. Go back t o sleep, baby . I shouldnt be
long.
Int er v iew? But it s st ill dar k out .
Mm-hmm. His face is bur ied in my neck and his finger s
gr aze my br east s.
I moan and ar ch my back, pr essing int o him.
Fuck. The wor d r umbles against my skin. Dont mov e.
I want t o get r ight back t o t his when Im finished.
Wit h one last kiss t o my shoulder , I feel him get out of bed.
I hear him slide on his dr awst r ing pant s. St upid fucking
int er v iew. He shut s t he bedr oom door behind him.
One deep, cont ent ed sigh lat er , my ey es dr ift close.
~*~
Jonah
This sucks, I say under my br eat h as I dr op down int o
my desk chair in my home office.
I check t he clock. Fiv e fift een in t he mor ning. I sip my
coffee and cur se my publicist for set t ing up t hese int er v iews.
Im at my desk when I should be wr apped ar ound Rav en.
My gir ls flawless bar e body molded t o mine, sur r ounded by
her smell, it was near ly impossible t o walk away .
I log int o my email and open t he one fr om my publicist .
This is t he absolut e wor st par t of being a fight er , t he publicit y
shit . Some guy s get off on it , but most of us hat e it . The r adio
st at ion int er v iews ar e t he lesser of t he publicit y ev ils. At least
I get t o do it fr om home in my flannel pant s. If I had my cell I
could do t his fr om my bed wit h Rav en in my ar ms. I shake
my head and make a not e t o get my self a new phone fir st
t hing.
Scanning t he email, looking for t he number , I not ice Im
fift een minut es lat e. I shr ug. Fuck em. I made lov e for t he
fir st t ime in my life t o t he gir l of my dr eams. They can wait .
I punch in t he number list ed on t he email. I giv e t he
pr oducer my name and wait , my t hought s dr ift ing back t o
last night . Iv e nev er had a sexual exper ience like t hat . Owen
wasnt fucking ar ound when he said sex was differ ent when
y ou do it wit h someone y ou lov e. And Rav en, t he gir l had zer o
exper ience, but damn if she didnt light up like a fucking
Roman candle. Those pant ies, her moaning, body ar ching,
begging for my at t ent ion. I gr oan and r eadjust my pant s.
And her e, I t hought Id lose int er est ? Once would nev er be
enoughshit , a lifet ime would nev er be enough of Rav en. She
just gav e me a t ast e of what she has t o offer , and Im
famished, complet ely st ar v ing for mor e.
To all our r adio list ener s out t her e, we hav e a special
t r eat for y ou t oday . The v oice on t he phone r ips me fr om my
happy place. Jonah The Assassin Slade is t aking a br eak
fr om his r igor ous t r aining schedule t o giv e us an exclusiv e
int er v iew. His fight wit h Heav y weight Champion Vict or Del
Tor o for t he belt is Sept ember four t eent h at Mandalay Bay .
Jonah, t hanks for t aking t he t ime t o t alk t o us.
Of cour se, t hanks for hav ing me. I r oll my ey es.
Vict or Del Tor o has been t he r eigning Heav y weight
Champion for ov er six y ear s. Ar e y ou confident t hat y ou can
beat him?
Absolut ely . I t hink my r ecor d speaks for it self. I hav ent
lost a fight y et and dont plan on losing one now. I gr imace at
my blat ant lie because t hat s exact ly what I plan on doing.
Del Tor o has what y ou call a glass jaw. Can y ou explain
what t hat is t o our list ener s?
Sur e, glass jaw r efer s t o someone who get s knocked out
easily . It s Del Tor os Achilles heel. But t he guy is t he r eigning
Heav y weight Champion and has been for six y ear s, so hes no
pansy . Weak jaw or not , t he guy can fight .
Now, y ou, Assassin, hav e a mean r ight hook. We can
assume t hat y our power ful r ight hook combined wit h Del
Tor os glass jaw means he has v er y lit t le chance of winning
t his fight ?
No, not necessar ily . The key t o a gr eat fight er is t o know
y our weakness. He t r ains t o pr ot ect his jaw at all cost s. I could
t hr ow a dozen killer r ight hooks, but t hey only wor k if I land
t hem. Hell be on guar d t he ent ir e fight .
Last quest ion, y ou hav e a r eput at ion of being how
should I say fr iendly wit h t he ladies? Rumor has it y ouv e
been seen ar ound t own wit h a sexy br unet t e. Our sour ces say
it s Rav en Mor r et t i, a local car mechanic. The int er v iewer
and his co-host laugh befor e finishing. Is The Assassin
set t ling down?
No, he fucking did not .
I gr ind my t eet h and my muscles t ense. Leaning for war d,
r est ing my elbows on my desk, I speak clear ly t o keep fr om
being misunder st ood.
Not gonna discuss my per sonal life, guy s, but I will say
t his. My v oice sounds low and menacing ev en t o my ear s.
You t alk about Rav en, Ill pay a per sonal v isit t o y our st udio
and well hav e wor ds. You get me?
Whoa! You hear d it her e, folks. Sounds like The Las Vegas
Casanov a is finally set t ling
Click.
Shit . How did I not t hink about t his? This fight is huge for
Vegas. Shes going t o get t hr own int o t he middle of t he media
fir est or m. As if t he gir l doesnt hav e enough t o deal wit h
alr eady . I need t o pr ot ect her . But how? Ill make sur e we lie
low unt il t he fight s ov er . Br iefing Rav en on t he sit uat ion
should help t o pr epar e her for what shes up against .
Running away wit h her and liv ing out t he r emainder of
our day s on some deser t ed island doesnt sound like a bad idea
aft er all.
I make a few mor e calls: t wo for int er v iews and one for a
new cell phone t o be deliv er ed t o my house. It s eight fift een,
and I hav ent hear d a sound come out of my r oom. Rav en
must st ill be asleep. I plan on cr awling back in bed wit h her
when I hear t he wat er r unning in my bat hr oom. Or a
shower ? I smile as v isions of shower sex wit h Rav en infilt r at e
my mind.
Dont be an insensit iv e pr ick. I shake t he wet fant asy
fr om my head. Shes got t o be sor e. I cant hav e sex wit h her
for a day or t wo. Okay , a day . Giv e her a chance t o r ecov er .
No way can I go in t he r oom when shes wet and naked in
my bat hr oom. I wont be able t o giv e her a br eak if I see her
like t hat . Killing t ime, I pay a couple bills online, check my
email, and play a game of solit air e befor e I head back t o my
r oom.
I st r oll down t he hallway wit h pur pose and a smile. Sex
might be off t he agenda for t oday , but I can t hink of plent y of
ot her t hings we could do t o occupy our t ime.
~*~
Raven
I open my ey es t o br ight sunlight . St r et ching my ar ms
abov e my head, my muscles object . Gosh, I m sore. I r oll t o
my back as a smile t ipt oes it s way acr oss my face.
This is awesome. I st omp my feet on t he bed under t he
sheet .
The faint smell of coffee cr ashes my pr iv at e par t y . I t hr ow
my legs ov er t he bed, gr ipping t he sheet t o my naked chest . I
sear ch t he floor for my pant ies, and r emember t hat Jonah
dest r oy ed t hem last night . My lips r oll bet ween my t eet h t o
muffle my excit ed squeak. Ill make sur e t o fit a pant y -
r eplacement shopping spr ee int o my schedule t his week.
May be Ill get a few ext r a pair s of t hose
A war m r ush of heat seeps fr om bet ween my legs. My jaw
dr ops open as my hand flies t o my mout h.
Oh no! My per iod? Cr ap!
Wr apping t he t op sheet ar ound my body , I r un t o t he
bat hr oom and jump in t he shower . I do t he ment al mat h
while scr ubbing my body , making sur e t o be gent le wit h t he
t ender ar eas. Ten day s ear ly ? Impossible. I hav ent missed
one pillmy br eat h hit ches.
Not my period! No, t hat would be embar r assing enough.
What just happened, on Jonahs fancy sheet s no less, is a
dir ect r esult fr om last night .
This is so humiliat ing.
I cant imagine what t he pr oper pr ot ocol is for a gir lfr iend
who bleeds v ir gin blood on her boy fr iends sheet s. One t hings
for sur e, I need t o get t hose off and get t hem in t he wash
befor e he sees.
Dr essing quickly in one of Jonahs Ts, I t hr ow my wet hair
up in a t owel and put Oper at ion Vir ginit y Dev ast at ion int o
act ion.
I r ace ar ound t he bed and t oss t he comfor t er t o t he
gr ound. Ripping pillowcases off one by one, I pile t hem on t he
floor along wit h t he sheet s. Im fr ant ically scooping up t he
soiled linens when I hear t he bedr oom door open. Fr ozen in
place, I squeeze my ey es shut .
Dar n it !
Head down, I sneak a peek, silent ly hoping Id imagined it .
Hey . He st udies t he load in my ar ms, ey es linger ing a
bit on my legs.
Nope. Im caught . I hop t o st anding, losing a few
pillowcases on t he way , and for ce my most innocent gr in.
What s going on? He t ilt s his chin t o t he sheet s in my
ar ms. I hav e a maid for t hat .
His sexy half gr in almost makes me for get my all-
consuming embar r assment . Almost .
My mind spins, t r y ing t o come up wit h a plausible r eason
why Id be doing Jonahs laundr y . His gor geous body ,
uncov er ed fr om t he waist up, does not hing for my
concent r at ion. I r un my hungr y ey es ov er ev er y muscular
cur v e.
I blink in a flut t er , clear ing t he opt ical or gasm.
Concentrate, Raven. I, uh, t hought Id help out . Um, do my
shar e since Iv e been liv ing her e? My excuse comes out a
quest ion.
Jonah r eads me wit h nar r owed ey es. He knows Im ly ing.
My ey es dar t ar ound t he r oom unable t o focus on his
penet r at ing gaze. On a sigh, I dr op my shoulder s along wit h
t he sheet s, defeat ed.
I cant lie t o Jonah. This mor ning, when I woke up, I, uh

He lift s his ey ebr ows for me t o cont inue.

When I sat up, I guess gr av it y or somet hing t ook ov er
and I um I dr op my face, concent r at ing on t he floor in
fr ont of me. Bled on y our nice sheet s. I confess and r ub my
for ehead t o av oid ey e cont act . Im sor r y . Ill wash t hem, and
if it doesnt come out , Ill buy y ou new ones.
I dont hear him mov e, but his bar e feet mov e int o my
line of sight . St anding less t han a foot away , he pulls me int o
his ar ms. They flex ar ound me and he places a kiss on my
head. I r elax and snuggle int o his hold.
Let me t ake car e of t he sheet s. You go get some coffee,
and Ill t hr ow t hese in t he wash.
He leans back, sear ching for my ey es. I dir ect my st ar e
past his shoulder . He cups my cheek, holding my face
pr isoner , demanding my at t ent ion.
I lov e y ou, baby , but I dont lov e y ou t hinking t hat I car e
about some st upid sheet s. I hope it does st ain so t hat ev er y
t ime I sleep on em Ill be r eminded of our fir st t ime, not t hat
Ill need t he r eminder . Last night is bur ned int o my br ain,
per manent ly .
He did not just say that. My cheeks heat and my nose
wr inkles. Eww. That s gr oss.
What ? That last night is bur ned in my br ain?
I br eak ey e cont act t o focus on his neck. No, t hat y oud
want t o sleep on sheet s st ained wit h my blood.
His finger s br ing my chin up as he bends down. Not gr oss
t o me, baby . His v oice is close and r ough. It s sexy . His
br eat h car esses my lips and smells like coffee. My t ongue
dar t s out t o see if I can t ast e it . His ey es focus on my mout h
and I wat ch his ey elids dr op.
Oh boy .
I need y ou t o walk away now. Go get y our coffee.
I nod, but my body pushes closer t o his.
Your e pr obably sor e fr om last night , and I want t o giv e
y ou t ime t o heal. If y ou st ay her e, looking at me like t hat ,
smelling t he way y ou do, inches fr om my bed, I wont be able
t o let y ou.
I shiv er .
That s r ight , baby . Coffee. Now. His demand is gent le,
but st ill no less a demand.
I blink my ey es quickly . Ill go get my coffee.
That s my gir l. Ill be t her e in a few.
Mov ing past him, he light ly smacks my but t . Shaking my
head, but smiling ear t o ear , my mind pr ocesses his wor ds.
Not gross to me, baby. It s sexy.
He r eally must lov e me.
Nineteen
Jonah
Rav en left for wor k a few minut es ago. And wit h her
absence came my cr ushing r ealit y .
My scalp is numb fr om fist ing my hands in my hair .
Sit t ing at my br eakfast bar , I st ar e mindlessly at t he black
gr anit e count er t op, as I at t empt t o sor t out t he jumbled
t hought s in my head.
Thr owing a fight isnt as easy as it sounds. I cant just
walk int o t he oct agon and st ick my chin out . I hav e t o fight .
Just not fight good enough t o win.
How t he fuck am I supposed t o do t hat ?
Im undefeat ed because I go ape shit when I get hit . It s
impossible t o r eason wit h t he pr imit iv e par t of my br ain.
That , along wit h t he r oar of t he cr owd and shout s of
encour agement fr om my t eam, is a v iolent combinat ion, a
winning combinat ion. Fuckin hell, if t hat isnt t he pr oblem.
Im going t o hav e t o be complet ely r et r ained. I hav e one
week t o figur e out how t he fuck t o lose a fight .
I gr ab my new cell phone t hat was deliv er ed and punch in
a few number s.
Blake, meet me at t he t r aining cent er in t en.
Ending t he call, I head out .
Blake is a r ed belt jiu-jit su mast er . He ear ned t he name
Blake The Snake at sev ent een when he const r ict ed a guy in
a cage fight and had him out cold in less t han t hir t y seconds.
If he cant help me, Im fucked.
I pull up t o t he UFL t r aining cent er r ight behind Blake.
Hey , man. You r eady t o figur e t his shit out ? He heads
my way t hr ough t he lot .
Yeah. I hav e a few ideas. Want ed t o go ov er a couple
t echniques wit h y ou. That cool?
Blake shr ugs his shoulder s. What ev er helps. This shit s
fucked. St ill cant believ e y our e, he looks ar ound t o make
sur e wer e alone in t he par king lot , r eally gonna do t his.
I lean against my t r uck. You sur e y our e up for t his? I
dont want t o dr ag y ou int o my shit . Not gonna lie t hough, I
could use y our help.
He r ips his sunglasses fr om his face and leans in. Dont
st ar t t his shit wit h me. You fuckin know I got y our back. Ill
giv e y ou t hat one, but y ou say t hat kinda fucked up cr ap
again, Ill kick y our ass my self.
I suppr ess a gr in. Then let s do t his. I giv e him a chin lift
and we walk t o t he cent er s door s.
Once gear ed up, we hit t he oct agon. It s quiet , just a few
guy s wor king at t he heav y bags a dozen y ar ds away .
The key is t o av oid t his mot her fucker s jaw like a t wo-
dollar hooker , he say s, t hen cr inges. Sor r y , bad joke.
I shake my head, t hinking I may just hav e t o slide one
solid punch in dur ing t his t r aining session.
Right , I know t hat , fuckwad. What I want t o know is how
t he hell do I keep fr om flippin t he swit ch on his ass when he
punches me?
Easy . Submissions. Take him t o t he gr ound and lock him
down. Milk t he clock unt il t he r ef br eaks it up.
That s not a bad idea. If I can get him in a solid hold wher e
he cant get t he gr ound and pound, I should be able t o buy
some t ime.
That might wor k. Let s wor k on some submissions t hat
keep his fist s away fr om my face.
Blake nods.
Wit hout t ime on our side, we get t o it . Modify ing a few key
holds isnt easy , but we manage t o come up wit h a couple
st r at egies. A few t ake-downs and pinning t echniques will
help, but Im going t o need mor e.
I need t o go at least t hr ee r ounds, and I cant just sit on
t he mat holdin him like a newbor n baby . The fans ar e
expect ing some st and-up. If I keep my punches t o body shot s
dur ing t he st and-up, t hat should help.
Blake shakes his head. Yeah, unt il he st r ikes back and
hit s y ou har d enough t o br ing out t he beast , but not knock
y ou out ! Im t elling y ou Iv e seen y ou fight . You need t o st ay
gr ounded as much as possible. Pr ot ect y our head, and keep
t hat fine piece of ass in t he for efr ont of y our mind. Then, pr ay
for a mir acle.
And now, I r emember why Im fr iends wit h Blake.
Aft er a couple hour s of t r aining, I hear a v oice call my
name. I peer t hr ough t he oct agon chain link t o see Tay lor
Gibbs, t he owner of t he UFL. Hes in his usual dar k suit ,
wear ing his usual schooled expr ession.
Tay lor . What s up?
Need a wor d wit h y ou in my office when y our e done.
Giv e me fiv e.
He nods and walks away .
I t ur n t o Blake. You know what t his is about ?
Blake looks at t he space Tay lor r ecent ly v acat ed t hen
back t o me. No clue. He shr ugs.
We make plans t o cont inue t r aining t omor r ow, and I head
t o Tay lor s office.
He pr obably want s t o t alk t o me about t he fight , but I feel
like a kid called t o t he pr incipals office. Ther es no way he
could know about my deal wit h Dominick. Dominick isnt
st upid enough t o go flapping his gums. Blake and Rav en ar e
t he only ot her ones t hat know. Blake seemed just as caught off
guar d as I was, and Rav en, well, t her es no way shes t alking.
His no-good assist ant isnt at her desk, so I walk in his
office wit hout knocking. It s an asshole t hing t o do, but I dont
hav e t he pat ience for social polit eness.
Tay lor looks up fr om his comput er scr een. Jonah, hav e a
seat .
I st ay st anding. What s t his about ?
He lift s his ey ebr ows and nods t o t he chair in fr ont of me. I
sit .
We just signed a deal for a joint campaign wit h t he
female MMA fight ing league.
Okay . What does t hat hav e t o do wit h me?
Not much, just a few cr oss pr omot ions, phot o shoot s,
magazine cov er sst uff like t hat .
I nod. It s not uncommon t hat t he UFL use me for
pr omot ional shit . I st ill dont see why t his war r ant s a v isit t o
t he bosss office.
Im going t o need y ou t o be seen wit h t heir headlining
fight er , Camille Fisher . Wont be much, just t he pr e-fight
for mal dinner , and well get her seat s by y our cor ner for t he
t it le fight . Aft er t hat , a few sight ings out at t he clubs ought t o
do it .
Pr et ending t o dat e a gir l I dont ev en know so t hat t he
suit s can pull off a campaign? Hell no.
No. Im not doing t hat .
His ey es nar r ow and he leans for war d, r est ing his elbows
on t he desk. No? Why not .
Im dat ing someone. Ill be br inging her t o t he for mal
dinner , and shell hav e my seat s at t he fight .
Wit h a chuckle, he leans back int o his chair , r elaxed.
That it ? Sur ely a few dat es wit h anot her gir l wont bot her
her . Tell her it s for wor k. Besides, hav e y ou seen Camille?
Shes hot . Im doing y ou a fav or , my fr iend.
What kind of man does he t hink I am? The kind t hat fucks
gir ls whose names he doesnt know wit hout a second t hought .
Not any mor e.
Look, Tay lor , I want t o help y ou out . Ill do phot o shoot s,
pr ess junket s, what ev er , but Im not cheat ing on my gir l
ev en if it s st aged for publicit y . Hav e Del Tor o do it .
She doesnt want Del Tor o. Shes r equest ed y ou
per sonally .
I shake my head, complet ely solid, unwav er ing.
Whos t his gir l whos got y ou by t he balls? he asks wit h
genuine cur iosit y .
My head t ilt s slight ly as I fix my st ar e on him. Dont see
how t hat s y our business.
Youv e been fight ing for me for eight y ear s, and Iv e
nev er ev en hear d a r umor about y ou get t ing ser ious wit h a
gir l. Now, just weeks befor e y our t it le fight , a fight t hat is
going t o make me a lot of money , y ou get ser ious?
I shr ug. Wher e in t he hell is he going wit h t his?
No bullshit , Im wor r ied. I need y ou on y our game, no
dist r act ions. I t hink it s in t he best int er est of t he or ganizat ion
for y ou t o put y our r elat ionship on hold unt il aft er t he fight .
I sit for war d, leaning one elbow on my knee. This guy s
got his head shov ed up his own ass if he t hinks Id giv e up
Rav en t o please him.
Hav ent had a dad since I was t welv e, Tay lor . Managed
t o make it t his far wit hout one. Dont need one now.
Im not speaking as a par ent , Jonah. Im speaking as
y our boss.
Dont r emember seeing y ou dict at ing who I dat e in my
cont r act .
I cant for ce y ou, but I can adv ise y ou.
Consider me adv ised. We done?
No. Dont for get about t he pr ess confer ence.
That s what I hav e a publicist for . Now, we done?
He st udies my face for a few long seconds t hen shr ugs.
I st and t o leav e, but t ur n just befor e walking out t he door .
Let y our assist ant know Ill be br inging a dat e t o t he pr e-
fight dinner .
His ey es dar t t o mine and nar r ow a fr act ion. I smile back
befor e walking out .
Who t he fuck does he t hink he is?
~*~
Raven
Hey , Dog. I place his food on t he bot t om st ep and scr at ch
behind his ear s. He pur r s as he eat s. I smile at t he cont ent
sound, knowing Id be making t he same one if I could.
Aft er last night , Iv e been walking ar ound in a per pet ual
st at e of cont ent ment , r obbing me of my focus.
Yeah, I know how y ou feel. Feels good t o be t aken car e
of. I r ub Dog fr om head t o t ail and back. Good kit t y .
My phone r ings, scar ing Dog and sending him down t he
alley and behind a dumpst er .
Hey , Ev e. I t ake t he conv er sat ion inside, hoping my
absence will br ing Dog back t o finish his food.
How ar e y ou? Im so sor r y about last night , I felt like shit
aft er y ou left . It looked like y oud been cr y ing, and I should
hav e sent Vince home and had y ou st ay . What happened?
She speaks quickly , whet her fr om guilt or concer n, I dont
know.
Oh, um, I clear my t hr oat , Jonah and I just had a lit t le
fight , but wer e okay now. Just a misunder st anding.
I bit e my lip and cont emplat e t elling her about Vince. My
loy alt y t o her is war r ing wit h my need t o pr ot ect her .
Oh, phew. I was so wor r ied aft er y ou left . I called y our
cell, but y ou didnt answer . Vince kept t elling me t hat y ou
wer e pr obably okay . He said if y ou wer ent y ou would call.
Nice of daddy s lit t le henchman t o comfor t my best fr iend.
How ar e t hings going wit h y ou and Vince? I wait for her
answer , r eady t o r ead int o ev er y wor d, t o feel her out befor e I
decide on full disclosur e.
Pr et t y good. Hes st ill so pr iv at e about st uff, but now t hat
hes met y ou, I t hink hell st ar t t o come ar ound.
Pr iv at e or big fat , disgust ing liar ?
I cant sit back and wat ch her get used. She needs t o know.
Ev e, t her es somet hing I need t o
I know what y our e going t o say , Rav e. Hes r eally
affect ionat e, and somet imes it comes acr oss as kinda per v y
or what ev er . Im sor r y if he made y ou uncomfor t able last
night . He say s he cant keep his hands off me. I can hear t he
smile in her v oice.
Yuck. I fight t he ur ge t o shov e my finger down my t hr oat
like a sur ly t welv e y ear old.
That s not what
Enough about boy s. I need my gir l t ime. Wer e going out
t onight . My old wait r ess fr om Nor i just got hir ed at Club Six.
She said shed put us on t he list and t old me if I slip t he
bouncer a fift y hed let us in wit hout IDs.
Tonight ? Um
Come on! Im so sick of t he under t went y -one clubs. This
is our chance t o go t o a r eal club!
Okay . Unable t o t hink of an excuse fast enough and also
missing my fr iend like cr azy , I agr ee t o go out wit h her .
Come ov er aft er wor k and we can get r eady at my
house.
This has play -dr ess-up-wit h-Rav en wr it t en all ov er it .
Sounds gr eat , I say wit h t he ent husiasm of a snail.
What ev er , Debbie Downer . It ll be fun and besides I
miss y ou.
I miss y ou t oo. See y ou aft er wor k.
Per fect . Ill t ell Ev e about Vince aft er shes had a couple
dr inks. That ll help soft en t he blow. And being in a public
place should keep her fr om get t ing t oo emot ional. Ugh, who
am I kidding? This is going to be a nightmare.
Twenty
Raven
Time t o lock up, Ray !
At t he sound of Guy s v oice, I slide out fr om under t he
Honda CR-V. Shift ing my ey es t o t he clock, my jaw dr ops at
t he t ime. Six oclock. Darn it!
It got busy at t he gar age, and I nev er got a chance t o t ext
Jonah t o let him know about my plans for t onight . He said he
had t o t r ain, but t hat he was looking for war d t o hav ing me
back in his ar ms. My body war ms all ov er at t he mer e
t hought of mor e sex wit h Jonah.
I gr ab my phone and see I hav e one missed call and a t ext .
Training then phone interviews all afternoon. Quick meeting
then Ill be home. See you tonight. xJ
Ray ! Quit dr aggin ass. Shut er down.
Yeah, G. I hear d y ou.
Shov ing my phone int o my back pocket , I close down t he
gar age and r ace t o my st udio.
I t hr ow my dir t y cov er alls in t he hamper and st r ip down
t o jump in t he shower . My foot t aps impat ient ly , wait ing for
t he wat er t o heat .
Crud! I didnt call Jonah. I wr ap a t owel ar ound my naked
body and fish my phone fr om my cov er alls.
Sit t ing on t he bed, I pr ess send and place t he phone t o my
ear .
Hey , baby . Wher e ar e y ou? His deep v oice comes
t hr ough t he phone and a smile pulls at my lips.
Hi. Im at my st udio. It was cr azy busy at t he gar age
t oday , and I didnt get y our t ext unt il just now.
That s cool. Gr ab y our shit and come ov er .
My finger t r aces t he swir ling pat t er n of my t owel at my
t high. I wont be able t o come ov er t onight . I made plans
wit h Ev e. My st omach bot t oms out . I do want gir l t ime, but
Id be ly ing if I said I didnt want Jonah t ime mor e.
Aft er explaining t he ev enings agenda, I sit pat ient ly
wait ing for his r esponse.
Club Six. Just y ou and y our gir l. Hes not asking. It s
mor e like hes say ing t he wor ds so t hey sink in.
Yeah. Ill st ay wit h Ev e t onight because well pr obably be
out lat e, and I dont want t o wake y ou.
Hm.
Is he mad?
Look, her es t he deal. Im st oked y ou want t o hang wit h
y our gir l t onight . But y ou at some night club, looking as hot
as y ou ar e, dr essed t o kill, wit hout me? No. Im also not
t hr illed t hat y our e put t ing y our self at r isk by going t o a club
when y ou ar ent t went y -one. And t her es t he DomiDick shit
we hav e t o wor r y about .
His possessiv eness is fier ce and I fr eakin lov e it . My ent ir e
body floods wit h t he war m gushy feeling t hat makes my t oes
cur l and my belly flip.
As a child, no one ev er car ed what I did. Nev er car ed
wher e I went , who I was wit h. I nev er had a cur few, nev er
had t he sex t alk, t he dont -do-dr ugs t alk. I was t r eat ed like an
adult on my own ev er since I could r emember .
Baby , y ou st ill t her e?
Yeah, Jonah, Im her e. The low hum in my v oice
r eminds me of Dogs pur r .
Damn. His r ough and sexy t one v ibr at es t he phone at
my ear . Iv e been t hinking about last night all day . Now I
get y ou on t he phone and y ou say my name like t hat . I hav e a
mind t o dr ag y ou t o my house and hold y ou host age. You and
Ev e will hav e t o r eschedule.
Jonah. My v oice is t hick wit h ar ousal.
He gr oans t hen clear s his t hr oat . Get dolled up, go out
wit h y our gir l, and hav e a good t ime. Call me when y our e
done and Ill pick y ou gir ls up, dr op Ev e off at her house, and
y ou come home wit h me. Your e in my bed t onight . Deal?
Um, gee, let me t hink.
Deal.
Oh, and t her es somet hing y ou should know. Your name
came up dur ing int er v iews t oday .
My body shoot s r amr od st r aight , and I gr asp my t owel at
my chest . Now my belly flips in an alt oget her differ ent way .
What ! Why ?
Big fight , lot s of publicit y . People t alk, y ou know how it
is. It ll die down aft er t he fight , but dont be sur pr ised if y ou
get appr oached by papar azzi. Just ignor e t hem, dont answer
any quest ions, and if y our e alone or scar ed, y ou call me.
Well, cr ud. This night just went fr om bad t o wor se.
***
We pull up t o t he fr ont of Club Six and climb out of our
t axi. The fr ont walk is lined wit h people await ing ent r ance.
Pounding music char ges t he air as we st ep up t o t he VIP line.
Wait ing our t ur n, I fidget wit h ner v ous ener gy and cat ch
my r eflect ion in t he window. My st r apless, black mini dr ess
hugs ev er y cont our of my body . The st r appy heels cage my
feet up past my ankle, making my legs look impossibly
longer . I cant see my face, but it s fr amed by long silken
st r ands of dar k hair , flat ir oned t o per fect ion. Ev e did my
make-up heav ier t hat I usually wear , t he smoky dar k shadow
br inging out t he st r ange color of my ey es.
Im Rav enst ein, put t oget her and br ought t o life for a
night of shenanigans.
St op fr eaking out . You look gor geous, Ev e say s close t o
my ear .
Ladies. You on t he list ? say s a lar ge man wit h a
clipboar d.
Ev e exchanges wor ds and a handshake wit h t he pur pose of
palming him a fift y dollar bill. The man smiles and looks us
bot h up and down befor e st epping aside. Wer e in.
The st r obe light s and black light s make it har d t o see, and
t he booming bass makes it impossible t o t alk. Guiding me
t hr ough t he cr owd, Ev e leads me t o an out side pat io bar . The
music is mut ed out her e so we dont hav e t o y ell. We belly -up
and or der t wo Cosmopolit ans.
So, how ar e y ou and Jonah? Ev e wags her ey ebr ows.
Bet t er now. I cant cont r ol t he heat t hat r ises t o my
cheeks.
Ev e nar r ows her ey es and swiv els t owar d me on her
bar st ool. Oh my gosh. You did it . A slow smile cr eeps t o her
face, and she st ar t s clapping and bouncing on her seat . You
fucking did it like lit er ally !
I cov er my face wit h my hands and nod my head. This
infor mat ion will sur ely find Dominicks ear s in t he next day .
So much for your plan to make money off my virginity, eh?
Eeeeee! Ev e jumps fr om her st ool and wr aps her ar ms
ar ound my neck. My gir l lost her v ir ginit y , ev er y one!
Mor t ificat ion ov er t akes me as my ey es dar t ar ound t he
bar . Ot her t han a few smiles, almost ev er y one ignor es us.
Ev e, please! Be quiet ! I hiss.
She sit s back in her seat and t akes a huge swig of her
dr ink. I follow suit .
Rav e, y ou got t a giv e me det ails, gir l. Did it hur t ? Was he
good? Is he big? Wit h ey es as wide as gas caps, she wait s for
my answer .
Hes amazing in every possible way .
She st omps her foot and slaps her knee. I knew it ! I knew
he was big.
I r oll my ey es and suck down t he r est of my dr ink.
Appar ent ly embar r assment makes me t hir st y . I or der
anot her .
Det ails of my night wit h Jonah begin t o flow out at t he
same pace t he liquor flows in. I imagine st eam shoot ing fr om
Dominicks nose like an angr y bull when Vince r elay s t he
infor mat ion. Sat isfied wit h what Iv e giv en, I decide it s t ime
t o br oach t he subject .
What about Vince? What does he do?
Hes a consult ant . I dont know what he consult s on. Like
I said, hes a pr iv at e guy .
Mor e like pr iv at e ey e, I joke t o my self and fight t he ur ge
t o laugh.
Does t hat bot her y ou? That hes a pr iv at e ey e um,
guy ?
Whoops, almost t ur ned my pr iv at e joke public. My t ongue
feels bigger in my mout h as my wor ds st ar t t o slur . I wav e
my hand t o t he bar t ender and mot ion for anot her r ound.
Yes. It does. Her face falls and she dabs t he cor ner of her
ey e wit h her cockt ail napkin. Here we go again. Appar ent ly ,
Im not t he only one feeling t he effect s of our dr inks.
I spin my bar st ool so Im facing her . Ev e, ar ent y ou sick
of cr y ing ov er t his guy ? The only t ime y ou dont cr y about
him is when hes got his t ongue in y our ear .
Per fect t r ansit ion int o bad news. I ment ally pat my self on
t he back.
Her ar ms fly out t o her sides. Ugh! It s just I feel so close
t o him, y ou know?
Okay , t his is good. Let her v ent and t hen Ill go in for t he
kill. I nod while gulping t he last of my dr ink.
I get t he feeling t hat Im mor e int o him t han he is t o me.
He nev er t alks about himself. I know not hing about him. She
sniffs. Fucking men!
Sick of t he mast odon in t he r oom t hat s sit t ing r ight on
my lap, I gr ab a st ack of cockt ail napkins and slap t hem down
in fr ont of her . Her e it goes.
Ev e, t her es somet hing I need t o t ell y ou. It s about
Holy shit , Rav e! This is our jam! Her shoulder s bounce
t o t he beat of t he music. Come on, let s dance!
Wait , I
She dr ags me t o t he dance floor and t he familiar v oice of
Dev singing Bass Down Low makes ev en me squeal.
Dar n alcohol has me act ing like a st upid gir l.
Iv e only been dr unk a few t imes, and t he familiar float y
feeling t aking ov er my limbs t ells me Im t her e. I close my
ey es, absor bing t he beat of t he music, and mov e wit h t he
r hy t hm. The bass pulsat es ar ound me, ev er y t iny hair on my
ar m r esponding t o t he call of t he music. I slide my hands fr om
my hips, up t he sides of my body and int o my hair . I imagine
being her e wit h Jonah, his hands all ov er me. Gr inding
against each ot her as t he music t hr obs ar ound us. Kissing in
t he middle of a cr owded dance floor , and t ast ing t he sweat
t hat beads off each ot her s skin. So lost in each ot her t hat
wer e obliv ious t o ev er y one ar ound, I skat e my finger t ips
down my neck, imagining t hat t hey r e his. Remember ing his
t ouch on a cellular lev el, goose bumps r ace acr oss my flesh.
Flashes of him abov e me, memor ies fr om last night , hav e me
gr ipping my hair .
Ther es no place Id r at her be t han in Jonahs ar ms, in his
bed. It s t ime t o go.
I open my ey es t o see Ev e is few feet away . She has become
t he meat in a dance-floor sandwich. I mov e t o pull her away
when hands gr ip my hips and heat hit s my back. I r eact on
inst inct , pushing away fr om t he gr ip and t ur ning ar ound t o
face t he jer k.
A man in a pink golf shir t st ands befor e me. His lips mov e,
but I cant hear what hes say ing ov er t he music. Realizing
t hat , he mot ions for me t o come t o him. I shake my head and
t ur n t o get Ev e.
My hear t is r acing and I st umble, t he alcohol making it
difficult t o cont r ol my body . I cant believ e I dr ank so much
t hat I lost my self in my sur r oundings allowing a st r ange man
t o pr ess his cr ot ch t o my backside. Im anxious by t he t ime I
pull Ev e fr om bet ween t he t wo guy s shes dancing wit h.
Whadda fuck, Rav e! I was av ing fun. Ev e speaks t o my
shoulder wit h a heav y slur .
I guide her t o t he bar , and or der us t wo wat er s. Buzzed
and fr eaked out by t he for war d guy on t he dance floor , I t r ash
my plan t o t alk t o Ev e about Vince and gr ab my phone t o call
Jonah for a r ide.
Can I get anot her Cosmoplot hian, pleeese? Ev es
at t empt at cunning falls flat .
I t hink we should call it a night .
No! Her ent husiasm get s t he at t ent ion of t wo guy s
near by .
I giv e t hem my best dont mind her , shes just dr unk
smile. Mist aking my smile for an inv it at ion, t hey walk t o us.
As t hey get closer I r ecognize t he guy fr om t he dance floor .
Cr ap.
Tapping Ev e on t he knee, I aler t her t o our unwelcome
guest s.
They r e good-looking guy s. Not hot -t at t ooed-fight er good-
looking, but mor e like successful-banker -golfer good-looking.
I t r y t o polit ely br ush t hem off while Ev e giv es t hem
deat h st ar es, mumbling somet hing about asswads and pr icks.
It s bad enough t hat wer e in t he club at all, but get t ing
kicked out for public dr unkenness is sur e t o dr aw unwant ed
at t ent ion.
Punching a quick t ext t o Jonah t hat well be out fr ont in
fift een minut es, I look up t o see Ev e wit h her ar m slung ov er
banker -golfer number one. She t eases her finger at t he collar
of his per fect ly pr essed shir t . Guess her anger at men is over.
Ev e, our r ide will be her e any minut e. What do y ou say
we hit t he ladies r oom and make our way t o t he door ?
Tot ally ignor ing me, she r uns her hand int o Number
Ones hair and leans in t o whisper in his ear . Pink Shir t st eps
in my space, pr essing me back int o t he bar and blocking my
chance for escape.
I flat t en my palm t o his chest . Can y ou please st ep
back?
You r an away fr om me ear lier . Cant let t hat happen
again.
The smell of his br eat h makes my st omach clench. My
spinning head, combined wit h fear and a belly full of liquor ,
has me t ast ing bile.
I t r y t o implor e Ev e for help, but shes face t o face wit h
Number One.
Pink Shir t hooks a piece of my hair wit h his finger .
Your e gor geous. He mot ions t o his fr iend wit h a t ilt of his
head. My buddy and I hav e r oom at Tr ump. Looks like y our
fr iend and my fr iend ar e hit t ing it off.
Hes r ight . Number One has his face bur ied in Ev es neck.
He st eps closer so t hat Im ar ched back ov er t he bar , my
head t ur ned away . He leans t o my ear . What do y ou say y ou
and me
What t he fuck is going on her e? The v oice comes fr om
down t he bar , but it s unmist akably male and mad.
Pink Shir t st eps back, fr eeing me, while Number One is
y anked v iolent ly backwar ds. Ev e shr ieks and falls back ont o
her bar st ool.
Pink Shir t looks like hes about t o r un, but sway s as if he
doesnt know if he should at t empt t o help his fr iend.
Number Ones down. A man wear ing all black holds him
by t he neck of his shir t and shout s in his face. I cant hear
what hes say ing, but fr om t he look on t he poor guy s face, it s
t er r ify ing.
The man in black shov es Number One har d t o t he gr ound
and t ur ns t o Ev e. Only t hen do I cat ch t he face of our knight
in shining ar mor .
My hear t r aces and I br eak out in a sweat . St alking
t owar ds us wit h a mur der ous look on his face, he get s r ight
int o Ev es space. Nose t o nose, he st ar es her down as she looks
up at him doe-ey ed.
You t r ading me for a pussy -ass, count r y -club boy , Ev e?
Vinces body t r embles wit h r age.
Ter r or wor ks behind Ev es ey es as she shakes her head.
Vince, she didnt do any t hing wr ong. Those guy s
wouldnt leav e and
He r akes his ey es ov er me, and my mout h slams shut .
Mind y our own fucking business! All pleasant r ies fr om
our fir st t wo meet ings ar e gone.
Vince, please, look at her . Your e scar ing her , I whisper ,
t r y ing t o cont r ol my v oice. Shes not t he only one whos
scar ed.
Look, y ou lit t le slut .
I flinch as his insult cut s deep.
I t old y ou t his is none of y our business. You wanna make
it y our business, I can do t hat . You t wo ar e coming wit h me,
and Ill be happy t o make it y our business all night long.
You wouldnt I mean Dominick The v icious smile
t hat br eaks his angr y expr ession t ells me ev er y t hing.
Dominick doesnt car e about me. As long as Im able t o solicit
my self for him, he could giv e a r ip about what Vince does t o
me.
Tear s bur n my ey es as t he r ealit y sinks in. Im br eat hing
r apidly . The hur r ied beat of my hear t pounds in my ear s. I
should r un, but I cant leav e Ev e.
He ey eballs me fr om my boobs t o my shoes and licks his
lower lip. He wr aps his ar m ar ound Ev es waist , pulling her
fr om her seat . Her ey es ar e unfocused as he t ugs her close t o
his side. His fr ee ar m shoot s t o me. The impact of his gr ip
t hr ows my body for war d. He dr ags us t hr ough t he club. I
st umble t o keep upr ight . The cr owd of gy r at ing bodies par t as
he st or ms t hr ough t he dance floor t o t he clubs exit .
Wit h a fir m kick, t he double door s fly open, and wer e in
t he secluded alley behind t he building. I t ake a sober ing
br eat h of fr esh air t o clear my head. I need t o get us fr ee so we
can r un. But how? Looking ar ound fr ant ically , I sear ch for a
way out , knowing I hav e only seconds befor e wer e locked in
his car .
My mind sur ges wit h quest ions. What would Guy t ell me
t o do? What would Jonah t ell me t o do? And wit h t hat comes
my answer , loud and clear .
Fight .
Adr enaline floods my v eins. Ener gy st r engt hens my
muscles as I st r uggle in his gr ip. I pull against his hold,
digging my heels int o t he pav ement . His ey es shoot t owar ds
mine and nar r ow. His gr ip get s t ight er and Ev e whimper s.
I t wist my ar m as har d as I can, and his hold begins t o
slip. Twist ing and pulling, a shar p pain shoot s t hr ough my
shoulder . Desper at e t o fr ee my self, I push t hr ough t he ache.
Vince st ops walking and I y ank down. My ar m slips fr om his
hand. He gr abs hold wit h his ot her hand. He let Eve go.
Ev e, r un! Run!
Blinking wildly as if she woke up fr om a t r ance, she t akes
off. Vince has my back, his ar m locked ar ound my waist ,
hand gr ipped on my t hr oat . Scr eaming is out of t he quest ion
as his cr ushing embr ace r obs me of br eat h. I st r uggle t o get
fr ee and my v ision st ar t s t o r ecede. The sound of heav y
foot falls pounding t he pav ement behind us has me jer king in
his hold.
My v ision goes black as t wo wor ds scr eam in my head.
Help me!
Twenty-one
Raven
One minut e Im choking, desper at e for air , and t he next
Im on all four s sucking pr ecious oxy gen int o my lungs.
Hear ing a scuffle, I t ur n t o see what fr eed me.
Shock fr eezes my body . Vince is on his back and Jonah is
st r addling him. His fist s ar e pounding Vinces face. His
color ful ar ms ar e blur r y wit h t he speed of each blow. The
sickening t hud of each blow is a dr ast ic cont r ast t o t he beaut y
and fluidit y of his mov ement s. Jonahs ar ms swing wit h
deadly accur acy . But Vince is out , his body flopping fr om side
t o side wit h t he power of each punch.
Jonah, st op. Youll kill him. My bur ning t hr oat makes
my v oice a lit t le mor e t han a whisper , not enough t o
penet r at e Jonahs r age.
I cr awl t o him wit h t r epidat ion and place my self by
Vinces bloody face.
Jonah, st op. Im okay . Im r ight her e. You hav e t o st op
now. My v oice is gent le, and it s t hen t hat his ar ms slow
t heir gor y punishment .
Jonahs body st ills, but his chest swells and deflat es wit h
deep br eat hs. Reaching for war d, I place my hand on his
for ear m. His head jer ks, and his ey es connect wit h mine, wild
and dist ant . He blinks a couple t imes and I see my Jonah
r et ur n.
God, baby , ar e y ou okay ? His wor ds falt er wit h t he
power of each br eat h.
Jumping off Vince, he pulls me t o my feet . His ey es mov e
ov er my body along wit h his hands.
I was out fr ont . I saw Ev e r un fr om behind t he club. I r an
as fast as I could. He had y ou Shit , ar e y ou okay ?
Im fine. Just a lit t le scar ed. Wher es Ev e?
I t old her t o go t o t he t r uck and sit t ight . He looks back
at an unconscious Vince. Who t he fuck is t hat piece of shit ?
I dr op my ey es t o t he gr ound, want ing t o slap my self. I
nev er t old Jonah about Vince. That s Vince, Ev es
boy fr iend, I t ake a deep br eat h, and Dominicks r ight
hand.
His ey es gr ow nar r ow and his muscles t ense. That
mot her fucker !
An echo of Jonahs cur se r ings off t he walls of t he alley .
The H2 I saw at Ev es t he ot her night is par ked t her e, hidden
in a ser v ice ent r ance of t he war ehouse next t o t he club.
Wit hout a soul ar ound, Im t hankful no one was a wit ness t o
what Jonah did t o Vince. But I cant help but wonder what
would hav e happened if Jonah hadnt shown up when he did.
We need t o get out of her e. I r ub my neck and wince as
my shoulder pr ot est s t he mov ement .
Jonah looks undecided as t o whet her he should finish t he
job he st ar t ed on Vince or get us t o t he t r uck. Moaning dr ift s
fr om t he bloodied piece of meat beside us, and t hat seems t o
for ce Jonah int o a snap decision. He wr aps one ar m ar ound
my shoulder s and t he ot her ar ound my st omach, suppor t ing
my weight , and we hur r y t o t he t r uck.
It s a silent r ide t o Ev es house except for her occasional
apologies for Vinces behav ior . I see hur t in her ey es, but not
hur t t hat she just found out her boy fr iend is abusiv e. The
pain in her ey es is t hat of a gir l wit h a br oken hear t . Will she
alway s be at t r act ed t o men who hur t her like her fat her did?
God, I hope not .
We dr op her off at her insist ence. She want s t o be alone,
and I dont blame her . She has a lot t o t hink about . Jonah
walks t hr ough her house, t ur ning on all t he light s and
making sur e she feels safe befor e she locks her self inside.
Safe in t he cab of t he t r uck, I allow my self t o feel t he
weight of what happened. I t ur n my head t o face out t he
window, not want ing t o giv e Jonah any mor e t o wor r y about .
A silent sob r ips t hr ough my body as t ear s of fear , guilt , and
anxiet y flow down my cheeks. The dr iv er side door slams shut
and a war m hand cov er s mine. I int er lace our finger s, hold on
t ight , and v ow t o nev er let go.
~*~
Jonah
That son of a bit ch! Blakes r esponse t o my r e-t elling of
t he ev enings ev ent s mir r or s my own.
I gr ip my phone t ight er befor e loosening my hold,
r emember ing what happened t he last t ime I t ook out my
anger on my phone. To av oid put t ing my fist t hr ough a wall,
I for ce my self t o my bed.
You t old him at Zeuss Play gr ound t o pull his t ails on
Rav en. I was t her e. I hear d y ou!
I dont know if calling Blake was t he smar t est choice.
Talking shit out wit h Blake usually helps me decompr ess.
Right now, hes just get t ing me wor ked up. I sit back and st ar e
at t he ceiling, hoping I can calm my ass down befor e Rav en
get s out of t he shower . The poor gir l has had a r ound t r ip
t icket t o hell and back. The last t hing she needs is her r aging
boy fr iend climbing t he fucking walls like a caged animal.
I almost killed him. I swear if I hadnt hear d Rav ens
v oice begging me t o st op, I would hav e. Seeing t hat
mot her fucker wit h his ar ms wr apped ar ound her My
sent ence t r ails off as my jaw clenches so t ight Im spit t ing
wor ds t hr ough my t eet h.
Sounds like it s t ime for anot her meet ing wit h dear ol
dad, Blake say s, his v oice holding a hint of excit ement .
Yeah, I hav e t o t alk t o my gir l fir st , get t he st or y on t his
Vince guy . My head falls t o t he backboar d and I r ub my ey es
wit h my fr ee hand. You should see her ar m. All dr essed up,
lookin hot as hell, wit h a fucking br uise in t he shape of a
mans hand on her ar m. The calm t hat had been slowly
mov ing t hr ough my body dissolv es int o anger . He had her
fucking neck!
At least y ou t aught t hat fucker a lesson. Dont t hink hell
be messin wit h Rav en again aft er y ou flipped t he swit ch on
his ass.
Hes got a point . I had t o t r ash one of my fav or it e shir t s
because it was splat t er ed wit h his blood.
Look, t he fight s t his week. You and Rav en lie low unt il
t hen. You dont need any mor e publicit y t han y ou
My at t ent ion is dr awn fr om Blake t o t he sound of t he
shower being t ur ned off.
What t he fuck is Ev e t hinking? His angr y quest ion jer ks
me back t o t he conv er sat ion.
Dont know, dont fucking car e. This douchebags been on
Rav ens ass fr om t he get -go. Im put t ing t his shit t o an end.
Fuckin A, br ot her , Blake say s under his br eat h.
The bat hr oom door opens and Rav en walks out in not hing
but a t owel. My mind clear s of ev er y t hing t hat happened
t onight at t he sight of her wet skin. I imagine dr y ing her wit h
my mout h as my ey es dev our her legs and mov e ov er her
t owel t o her ar ms. Her ar m. The angr y br uise br ings me back
in a v iolent r ush.
I glar e at t he color on her ar m. Got t a r un. Ill t alk t o y ou
t omor r ow.
Right . Tell y our gir l t o st ay st r ong.
Will do. Lat er .
Tossing my phone on t he bedside t able, I wat ch Rav en put
on a shor t pair of dr awst r ing sleeping shor t s, no pant ies, and
a t hin t ank t op. Blinking, I t ell my self t hat my body can wait
but t he conv er sat ion we need t o hav e cannot .
Baby , come her e.
I make r oom for her on t he bed, and she quickly t akes her
place at my side. Her cheek is pr essed t o my chest and her
finger t r aces lazy cir cles on my abdomen. My dick r esponds
immediat ely . I place my hand ov er her s t o st op t he
st imulat ion befor e I for get my own name and bur y my self
inside her .
Um, y our e going t o hav e t o st op t hat so we can t alk. Shit
happens t o my body t hat shor t -cir cuit s my br ain.
I feel her smile against my chest . She pushes her hand out
fr om under mine, down past my belly but t on. I gr oan as her
delicat e finger s slip beneat h my shor t s.
I, ah My mind goes fuzzy and my hear t pounds in my
chest .
Her soft hand gr asps me in a fir m hold and my hips jer k
in r esponse. Fuuuck.
I know y ou want t o t alk, Jonah, and we will. But r ight
now, I need y ou.
I cant r emember what we wer e going t o t alk about , and I
dont car e.
Her hand picks up it s pace and pr essur e. My ey es fix on
her for ear m as her lean muscles flex wit h each st r oke. The
fr uit y smell fr om her clean hair makes my mout h wat er . My
lips bur n wit h t he need t o kiss her .
Baby , I want y our mout h, I say , pant ing.
She kisses my neck, a t ease wit h her full wet lips t hat has
me achingly fr ust r at ed. I wr ap my hand behind her neck,
sift ing my finger s t hr ough her hair , t hen gr ip t ight . She
moans.
I br ing her luscious lips t o mine, t aking what I want . Our
t ongues cr ash t oget her as I conv er t my anger fr om ear lier
int o passion. The feel of her t eet h as she nips impat ient ly at
my lips makes me t hink shes doing t he same. My mout h is
flooded wit h her pur e, clean t ast e. I flex my hands in her hair
as her sweet mout h mov es against mine in a sensual r hy t hm.
She pr esses her br east s int o my chest and her st r oke
quickens. Im fight ing not t o r oll my ey es at t he per fect ion of
her t ouch. Reaching down, I r elease my but t on and zipper ,
fr eeing my self for her . She smiles against my lips t hen sucks
on my lower lip. I cant help but imagine shes sucking on
somet hing else, and I gr oan.
She br eaks t he kiss and locks her blue-gr een ey es on mine.
Her ey ebr ows r aise a fr act ion as if shes asking a quest ion.
Then her hand r eleases me just enough t o slide her hand
lower .
Mmm My head falls back and my ey es slam shut .
Shes nev er done t his befor e, and I mar v el at her gr owing
confidence. Her gent le play and t ender t ouch ar e bot h
t easingly sweet and er ot ic as hell. My st omach muscles
cont r act as I let her explor e.
Desper at e t o feel her , I slide a hand beneat h her t ank t op.
Her soft skin is pliable against my r ough hands. I cup her
fir m br east t hen knead, r olling t he t ip bet ween my t humb
and for efinger . Her sexy cur v es push and r ub against me,
ent icing my body .
I want y ou naked, I gr owl.
Pushing my self up, I st r addle her knees, and pull her t ank
t op off. She sucks in a pained br eat h and falls back t o t he bed.
What s wr ong?
My shoulder , she say s wit h a gr imace.
Shit , baby . I dont want t o do t his if it s going t o hur t
y ou. The t hought alone is like dumping ice cold wat er on my
cr ot ch. I alr eady feel like an asshole not giv ing y ou mor e
t ime t o heal aft er last night . I sit back on my heels and pr ay
she doesnt want t o st op.
I cant explain it , she say s and pushes her self up on one
elbow. All I know is t hat , aft er ev er y t hing I went t hr ough
t onight , I want t o feel safe and cher ished. Pr ot ect ed.
I look int o her ey es and wat ch t hem br im wit h t ear s.
I want y ou I need y ou t o lov e me. Please. Shes
beaut iful all t he t ime, but t he v ulner abilit y in her ey es as she
pleads r obs me of speech.
I lean for war d and she lies back. My t ongue licks at t he
cr ease of her mout h, r equest ing ent r ance. We hav e plent y of
t ime for r ough passion. Tonight , I want t o lov e her at a
deliber at e pace.
I slip my hand beneat h t he dr awst r ing of her shor t s and
she br eaks t he kiss, gasping at my cont act . Her hips mov e in
r hy t hm wit h my finger s. I br ace my self abov e her on one
elbow, mesmer ized by her r esponse: her lip sucked int o her
mout h, moaning. Whit e knuckles gr ip t he sheet s as her hips
push and r oll against my hand.
Per fect .
Her hands mov e t o her shor t s, and, wit h a lift of her hips,
she pulls t hem down. I do t he same, r idding my self of t he
st ifling confinement . Shes naked befor e me, chest r ising and
falling er r at ically , and knees wide in inv it at ion. I car ess her
t highs, t aking in all t hat is mine. Only mine. She st ar es
openly at my har d-on, making it t wit ch, and I wat ch her ey es
widen.
Fr om my kneeling posit ion bet ween her legs, I gr ab her
hips and pull her up so her ass is r est ing on my t highs. I
spr ead my knees, br inging my self lower and pulling her
higher unt il we meet . Her legs wr ap ar ound my waist , and I
slip my hands below her ass and t ilt .
Jonah. Ther es an edge of concer n in her v oice.
This is a new posit ion for her , and Im sur e shes ner v ous.
My chest swells wit h t he knowledge t hat ev er y posit ion will
be new t o her and Im t he one who get s t o t each her .
Dont wor r y , baby . Ill t ake car e of y ou.
Her expr ession r elaxes wit h a t iny smile.
I push for war d, and just like last night , my st omach is
gr ipped wit h t he ur ge t o t hr ust . Slowly. I r epeat it in my
head. Inch by inch I ease int o her . My ey es t ake in t he sight of
our bodies connect ing. The silky heat , gr ipping pr essur e, and
v isual st imulat ion t ur n me int o an emot ional liv e wir e. I pull
out an inch and push in t wo mor e. Ov er and ov er , slowly
unt il Im bur ied deep. I pause and fight t he explosion coiling
in my body . Think of somet hing else. I go ov er a list of choke
holds. Tr iangle choke, gat or r oll, r ear naked choke Oh, no,
not t hat one.
The image of my body connect ed t o Rav ens becomes t oo
much. I fall for war d, br acing my weight wit h my ar ms and
st r aight en my legs. Rav en immediat ely r esponds t o t he
closeness of our mout hs by dev our ing mine. I mov e abov e her
in lazy st r okes, t aking in each sensat ion. My chest br ushes
against her br east s wit h each painst akingly slow t hr ust . She
squir ms wit h impat ience beneat h me.
Fast er , Jonah. Har der , she say s, gr asping at my ass.
Baby , y our e sor e. I need
Take me, please. I want y ou t o. Her wor ds ar e br eat hy
and hot as hell.
My body r esponds by t hr ust ing in deep. I bit e my lip t o
keep fr om calling out in blissful sat isfact ion as her gr ipping
heat pulls me in. Fuck. She gasps against my neck. I check her
face t o see it s not pain shes feeling. It s pleasur e. Pulling out
slowly , I push in again, har der t his t ime. She moans and
coaxes me on.
My gir l.
Ov er whelming emot ion and r aw need push my hips
deeper . I keep my ey es locked on her s and r oll my hips. The
sounds coming fr om deep in her chest t ake me t o t he edge of
my cont r ol.
A familiar t winge in my chest war ms my skin as I
cont inue t o lov e Rav en. My st r okes incr ease in st r engt h and
her finger nails dig int o my ass. She meet s each t hr ust wit h a
push of her own. Her dar k hair is splay ed wildly ar ound her
face. She ar ches back in t he way t hat I know is her signal.
Shes close.
Not r eady for t his t o end, I r oll t o my back, keeping our
connect ion. A light sheen of sweat clings t o our bodies, her
t or so lies at op mine. Her face is bur ied in my neck wher e she
kisses and licks below my ear .
She pushes her self up, st r addling my hips. Her ey elids ar e
low, and her lips par t as she seems t o absor b t he sensat ions of
t he differ ent posit ion. My ey es r oam her body fr om her hips,
up her slight ly r ounded feminine st omach, t o her per fect full
br east s. Glor iously naked and t ower ing ov er me like an angel
wit hout wings.
I cir cle t he t ips of her br east s wit h my finger t ips, t easing
t he sensit iv e flesh. She pr esses t hem int o my hands and sucks
in a br eat h. Her heav y -lidded ey es spar kle and she begins t o
mov e abov e me.
Her hands br ace at my chest , and I cont inue t o car ess her
br east s. I wat ch in amazement as she commands her body
wit h pr act iced ease. She mov es wit h confidence and cont r ol,
and it s har d t o believ e she was a v ir gin a day ago. Her pace
quickens. She r olls her hips in bliss-r idden wav es. I fight
ev er y ur ge t o flip ov er and pound int o her . She shift s,
sear ching it out , desper at e for t he per fect combinat ion.
Im so close. Her cr ies aler t me t o t he fact t hat she is t oo. I
flex my hips int o her . She gr inds down har d against me. My
t oes cur l and my st omach t ight ens.
Fuck, baby
Me t oo, Jonah
Wer e pant ing and pushing. Gr inding and moaning. Her
beaut iful ey es lock ont o mine and bor e int o my soul. Wound
t ight , we r each t oget her , pushing t owar d t he edge. Her
mout h dr ops open, and I bit e my lip, our or gasms r ipping
t hr ough our connect ion t oget her .
The shockwav es push t hr ough my body , lift ing my
shoulder s fr om t he bed. Her hands mov e t o my knees, bowing
her back. I hold her hips in place and cont inue t o gr ind int o
her . She t hr ows her head back, calling out my name as we
r ide out our climax.
Fucking amazing.
Her body falls for war d against my chest , pr essing her
war m, balmy skin t o mine. Heav y fr om t he aft er shocks of our
lov emaking, we lay silent ly , br eat hing as one, our hear t s
beat ing t oget her .
Wow, she mumbles against my neck.
Mmm.
She pushes her self up, r est ing her elbow on my r ibs, and
her chin in her hand.
Is it alway s like t his?
Beaut iful and cut e.
No. It s nev er been like t his. And, y es, wit h us, it ll only
get bet t er .
Her ey es gr ow a fr act ion befor e her lids dr op lower .
Really ?
I r un my finger s t hr ough her hair , fr om r oot t o t ip, t he
long st r ands falling against my chest . Yeah, baby .
She bit es her bot t om lip and soft ly moans. Her hips st ar t
t o mov e again.
I smile. My gir l want s mor e.
Yeah, Jonah, she say s in t hat br eat hy way t hat makes
me inst ant ly har d.
I aim t o please.
***
Aft er anot her r ound of lov emaking, Rav en is cur led in
my ar ms. Her head r est s against my chest and her leg is
t hr own ov er my abs. I r un my hand t hr ough her long, silky
hair , t wir ling it ar ound my finger . My ot her hand lazily
t r aces pat t er ns on her hip while her finger out lines my
t at t oo.
You lov ed up enough t o t alk now, or do I need t o giv e it t o
y ou one mor e t ime?
She smiles, but doesnt laugh. I would lov e t o do it again,
but Im t oo t ir ed. The y awn t hat follows confir ms her wor ds.
Tell me about t his Vince guy .
She huffs out a fr ust r at ed br eat h. I met him t hat day I
went t o see Dominick. He act ed like he knew me, but I didnt
t hink much of it . Guess hed been milking Ev e for infor mat ion
about me for weeks. Then I r an int o him at Ev es. I want ed t o
t ell y ou, but for got wit h ev er y t hing t hat was happening wit h
us.
This all makes sense. Now for t he t ough quest ion. What
happened t onight at t he club?
She cower s against my chest .
What t he fuck?
We wer e at t he bar aft er dancing. We had a lit t le t oo
much t o dr ink, and befor e I knew it , t hese guy s wer e
har assing us
Har assing y ou? Fuck, Rav en! Why didnt y ou call me?
My wor ds ar e fly ing befor e my br ain has t ime t o consider
what Im say ing. And I wonder why she s cowering? Not
want ing t o lose my shit , I push my anger down and t ake a
deep br eat h. Sor r y , baby . Go on.
She cont inues t o t ell me about her night . I t r y not t o dwell
on t he mot her fucker t hat put his hands on my gir l t hen
pr essed her up against t he bar . I swallow t he angr y r et or t s
t hat bubble up fr om my all-consuming fr ust r at ion. I nod and
list en, unsuccessfully suppr essing t he occasional gr owl.
Did he say wher e he was t aking y ou?
No, he called me a slut and t old me it was none of my
business. He said t hat if I didnt shut up, he was going t o make
it my business, um allnight long. Her chin dr ops again as
she ends t he sent ence in a whisper .
Did she say all night long? He called her a slut !
My head st ar t s t o buzz. Hes fucking dead, I say wit h a
calm I am not feeling.
Um, Im pr et t y sur e y ou got him back. I didnt ev en
r ecognize his face when y ou wer e done wit h him.
Her body shiv er s in my ar ms. I hold her t ight er .
I cant let t his go, Rav en. Im going back t o t alk t o
Dominick. If he doesnt get his boy in check, wer e going t o t he
cops.
Jonah
Ill do t his Dominicks way . Ill t hr ow my fight . Hell get
his money . But t he moment his goons put t heir fucking hands
on my gir l
What ? I hav e no opt ions. Im t he one wit h ev er y t hing t o
lose, not Dominick. The fucker s backed me int o a cor ner and
he knows it .
We cant go t o t he cops. Ev en y ou said hes got t hem on
his pay r oll. If Dominick feels t hr eat ened, he could leak t o t he
media t hat y ou agr eed t o t hr ow y our fight . Ev en wit hout
ev idence, t he r umor s could get y ou banned fr om t he UFL.
Fuck. She s right. My mind spins wit h unanswer ed
quest ions. The most impor t ant t hing is t o keep Rav en calm
and safe. That s wher e my focus needs t o be, at least unt il t his
shit is ov er .
Ill t alk wit h Dominick again. He want s his money . Im
sur e hes not pleased t hat his boy got his ass handed t o him
t onight . Dont wor r y , baby . Ill t ake car e of t his.
She nods int o my chest . Please be car eful.
Alway s. Now go t o sleep. We can t alk mor e in t he
mor ning.
Okay , Jonah. I lov e y ou, she say s t hr ough anot her
y awn.
I lov e y ou t oo, baby .
Aft er shut t ing off t he light , I st ar e int o t he dar k r oom.
Rav ens br eat hing shift s t o t he r hy t hmic cadence of sleep. I
hold her a lit t le t ight er , absor bing t he cont ent ment I feel
fr om hav ing her safe in my ar ms.
This clust er fuck wit h Vince has complicat ed my deal wit h
Dominick. He needs t o know now, especially aft er I t ur ned
Vinces face int o gr ound beef, t hat Im not going t o allow him
t o fuck wit h Rav en. Ther es no way
My t hought s ar e r edir ect ed by t he sound of my phone
r inging. Wit h a slight lean, I gr ab my phone fr om my
bedside.
I dont check t he ID, but inst ead hit answer and bit e out a
quick, What !
Rav en st ir s, and I r ub her ar m r eassur ingly .
Mr . Slade.
Adr enaline floods my bloodst r eam, making my head buzz.
Dominick.
Twenty-two
Jonah
I kiss Rav ens head befor e slipping out fr om under her and
int o t he hallway .
I see y ou and Vince had a lit t le differ ence of opinion t his
ev ening, Dominick say s, sounding bor ed.
Differ ence of opinion? He assault ed her ! He was t aking
her t o God knows wher e t o do God knows what ! You call t hat a
differ ence of o-fucking-pinion?
The usual buzz in my head has amplified t o a r oar . Im
v ibr at ing fr om head t o t oe.
Iv e t aken car e of him. Im not happy wit h what
t r anspir ed at t he club.
I t old y ou t o pull y our t ails. That was par t of our
agr eement .
Yes, well it seems Vince has gr own fond of t his Ev e gir l.
You cant blame a guy for st icking ar ound for a lit t le easy
pussy . Im sur e y ou of all people can under st and t hat .
I could giv e a fuck what Vince does wit h his dick, but I
swear t o God, if he comes near Rav en wit h it or wit h any
ot her par t of his body again, I will kill him. You get me? I
hope like hell y ou do because Iv e nev er been mor e ser ious
about any t hing in my life. I pace t he liv ing r oom, t r y ing t o
keep my v oice down.
I wont apologize for Vinces behav ior .
You want Rav en so bad, but y oud let t hat animal put his
hands on her ?
Vince knows t he gir l needs t o r emain unhar med.
What ev er his plan was, Im confident it wouldnt hav e left
any per manent
You sick mot her fu
Our deal is st ill as it was agr eed upon at Zeuss.
Only if y ou and y our men agr ee t o leav e Rav en alone.
Mr . Slade, y ou ar e in no posit ion t o make t hr eat s.
The fuck Im not . Say it !
I will pr ot ect what s mine.
Shes not y our s! The int ense buzzing bet ween my ear s
t r av els down my ar ms t o my fist s.
We will see, Mr . Slade. We will see.
The phone disconnect s. My call log list s t he number as
unknown.
Fuck! I t hr ow my phone int o a club chair acr oss t he
r oom. It lands wit h an unsat isfy ing t hud.
My appet it e for beat ing Dominick t o a bloody mess claws
at my ner v es. I fall t o t he couch wit h my head in my hands,
fist ing my hair , and will my hear t t o slow.
Fear fr om t onight comes r ushing in. Flashbacks of Vinces
ar ms ar ound Rav en flood my mind. What if I hadnt got t en
t her e in t ime? I shov e t he quest ion back, r esist ing t he t hought
of losing her .
Shes safe in my bed, wher e I should be.
I st alk down t he hallway t o my r oom and t hr ow open t he
door . It slams against t he wall, making Rav en jump t hen
set t le.
Shit . Calm t he fuck down.
I fight t he buzz in my head and cr awl int o bed wit h
Rav en. Her soft body , war m wit h sleep, cur ls int o mine. A
gent le hum v ibr at es fr om her lips, t he soot hing scent of her
skin a salv e t o my fur y . My hear t r at e slows and t he r iot
bet ween my ear s r ecedes. I haul her deeper int o my ar ms,
silent ly pr omising t o keep her safe and make her mine.
For ev er .
~*~
Raven
Hand me t he wr ench? Jonahs big hand r eaches out
fr om beneat h t he Impala, and I slap t he wr ench int o his
palm.
Wev e been wor king on t he Impala all mor ning in an
at t empt t o t ake my mind off t he fact t hat I hav ent hear d
fr om Ev e. Hour s pass, and st ill no wor d. I can t just sit here and
do nothing.
Im assembling t he new engine par t s when I gat her t he
cour age t o br oach t he issue wit h Jonah.
If I dont hear fr om her soon, I scr unch my nose and
pinch my ey es closed, Im going t o her house.
The met allic clank of a t ool hit t ing t he concr et e floor
bounces off t he walls. My ey es r emain fixed on t he pr oject
befor e me.
I hear him slide on t he dolly out fr om under neat h t he car .
Ov er my dead mot her fucking body .
I br ace my self for an ar gument . Wit h a det er mined scowl,
I br ing my ey es t o his, st eel in my r esolv e.
Wor r y and concer n mask his usual easy smile, shat t er ing
my will. My shoulder s slump and I lean on t he wor kbench.
Im wor r ied about her .
He st ands and closes t he space bet ween us. I know, baby .
But I cant let y ou go t o her house alone. If y ou insist on
st opping by , Im going wit h y ou.
I need t o t ell Ev e about Vince, and I dont want her t o get
embar r assed hav ing Jonah t her e. Not t o ment ion he t ur ned
her boy fr iend int o r oad kill just hour s ago.
No. I need t o go alone.
He wr aps me in his ar ms and I go limp against his chest .
No way .
I exhale, fr ust r at ed, but not sur pr ised. Jonah, I
under st and why y our e wor r ied. But r eally , what r e t he
chances t hat Vince will be at her house? Hes pr obably hiding
away wit h a t ube of Neospor in and an ice pack aft er what y ou
did t o him.
His ar ms t ight en at t he ment ion of Vince. You ar ent
going.
Why does ev er y t hing hav e t o be so har d?
I t ilt my head t o see his face. What s t he big deal? All Ill
be doing
The big deal? He let s me go and t akes a few long st r ides
back t o t he Impala. His hands spear t hr ough his hair . The
big deal is t hat t he last t ime I let y ou go somewher e on y our
own, against my bet t er judgment , y ou came back destroyed.
He leans int o t he car s hood, ar ms br acing his weight , head
down.
I st ep t o t he fr ont fender . Jonah.
He t ur ns his head, a t or t ur ed expr ession on his face. Hes
r ight . I pr omised him, t he night we made lov e for t he fir st
t ime, Id nev er put him t hr ough t hat kind of wor r y again.
Okay . I wont go.
Wit h a mur mur ed cur se, his body weight collapses, and
he pushes off t he car .
To her house. Ill go t o her wor k. My det er minat ion is
back, and he must see it in t he seconds he st udies my face.
Fine. But only t o her wor k. Wit h plent y of people ar ound.
And call me befor e y ou walk in and t he second y ou walk out .
Under st and?
I gr in, ov er whelmed by how much I lov e my pr ot ect iv e
Jonah. Okay .
Im ser ious, baby . If y ou see
My phone chimes wit h a new t ext .
Just got your message. Im fine, just slept in. Come on over.
Eve.
I t ext her back and ask her what t ime she has t o wor k. We
agr ee t o meet t her e a half an hour befor e her shift st ar t s.
Jonahs not sat isfied wit h t he plan, but at least hes not
chaining me t o his bed for safekeeping, as he t hr eat ened. I
pr omised him Id meet him at t he t r aining cent er aft er I met
wit h Ev e so he could see wit h his own ey es t hat Im okay .
He t akes me t o wor k t o check in wit h Guy , looming in t he
backgr ound t he ent ir e t ime like some Adonis body guar d. We
hit my st udio t o feed Dog and pack some t hings. He finally left
my side so I could meet wit h Ev e, but only wit h t he pr omise
t hat Id see him in less t han an hour .
I pull int o t he par king lot of Nor i Pizzer ia r ight on t ime.
Walking fr om my car t o t he fr ont door , I not ice Ev es 2 01 0
blue Must ang. I do a quick scan for Vinces H2 and exhale in
r elief t o see it s not t her e.
I push t hr ough t he fr ont door s, and t he ar oma of gar lic
and but t er make my st omach gr owl. Wax-cov er ed Chiant i
bot t les sit at op t ables dr essed in whit e but cher paper . A few
wait er s mill about , but no Ev e.
Rav en! Hey , hav ent seen y ou her e in a while.
St ephanies ey es dar t ar ound and behind me befor e landing
on my face. Wher es t he hot t ie y our e dat ing? The
ent husiast ic host ess flashes a hopeful smile. Did y ou guy s
br eak up?
Shes a cut e gir l, and Iv e nev er consider ed my self t he
jealous t y pe, but my hand t ingles wit h t he desir e t o backhand
t hat r eady -and-willing look off her face.
Mmm, nope. We didnt br eak up. I lay my for ear m on
t op of t he host ess st and and lean in. Wer e st ill v er y much
together, if y ou know what I mean. I giv e her a wink and
wat ch t he ent husiasm dr ain fr om her face.
Yeah, t ake t hat !
Ev e in t he back? I dont wait for an answer and head t o
t he kit chen wit h pep in my st ep.
She mumbles somet hing I cant quit e make out as I push
t hr ough t he kit chen door s.
At t he closed office door , I pause t o r efocus befor e
knocking. I hav e no idea what kind of mood Ev e will be in,
and I can only hope she t akes what Im about t o t ell her well.
Ev e? You t her e? I r ap my knuckles against t he door .
Her soft v oice t ells me t o come in.
The r oom is dar k except for a dim desk lamp. Shes sit t ing
in her chair wit h her elbows on t he desk and bot h hands on
eit her side of her head. Not good.
I t ake t he seat acr oss fr om her . Hey , Ev e. How ar e y ou
doing?
Humph.
That bad, huh?
She doesnt r eply only dr ops her for ehead t o her desk.
Look, about last night , Im so sor r y
Her head flies up, and she locks me in a nar r ow glar e.
Sor r y ? What do y ou hav e t o be sor r y about ? This whole
t hing is my fault . I keep t elling my self t hat this guy will be
differ ent . This guy wont hit me or t alk shit t o me. They all
seem so nor mal in t he beginning. Or so I t hink. Her head is
back in her hands as she r ubs at her t emples. God, Rav e, Im
so fucked up.
Ev e, y ou ar ent effed up.
Her puffy ey es nar r ow on mine again, and I decide t his is
a good t ime t o shut up and list en.
You know what I did last night aft er y ou dr opped me off?
I lay in bed all night wit h my phone on my chest , hoping he
would call me. I want ed t hat piece-of-shit t o call me and t ell
me t hat he was sor r y , t hat he would nev er scar e me again. If
he would hav e shown up on my door st ep, I wouldv e t aken
him back. She falls back int o her chair . St ill t hink Im not
fucked up?
No, t hat sounded pr et t y scr ewed up t o me. But , I wasnt
going t o t ell her t hat .
Shes beat ing her self up about Vince, feeling as t hough
t his is all her fault . If she knew t hat she was not hing mor e
t han a job t o him, may be it would help her t o let him go and
let her self off t he hook.
List en, I t r ied t o t ell
He held ont o y ou, she say s wit h a dist ant sound t o her
v oice.
What ? I whisper .
You wer e pulling away , almost out of his gr asp. He let go
of me. He held on t o y ou. She looks at me wit h t ear s pooling
in her ey es and shame on her face. I was jealous. The t ear s
bur st fr ee, cr eat ing r iv er s of pain down her face. Im so
fucked up.
She bur ies her face in her hands as her body shakes wit h
sobs. I walk t o her side of t he desk and kneel down.
Ev e, t her es somet hing I need t o t ell y ou. I didnt t ell y ou
befor e because I was t r y ing t o pr ot ect y ou. But , y ou need t o
know now. None of t his is y our fault .
Her bloodshot ey es lock on mine as I explain about Vince. I
t ell her about Dominick and what his plans ar e for me. I keep
Jonahs fight a secr et , but I do t ell her t hat Jonah, Dominick
and I ar e wor king somet hing out so t hat I dont hav e t o
pr ost it ut e my self for t he r est of my life. I finish by making it
clear t hat , alt hough Im sur e Vince has feelings for her , his
int ent ions fr om t he beginning wer e get t ing infor mat ion t o
Dominick, and his holding me last night pr obably had
somet hing t o do wit h t hat .
The silent minut es t ick. Ev e st ar es at t he wall just ov er
my shoulder . Her lips ar e mov ing, but no sound comes out .
Sit t ing back on my heels, I wait for her t o r egist er t he gaggle
of put r id infor mat ion I dumped on her .
That fuckingpieceofshit mot her fucker !
St unned by her sudden out bur st , I r ock back, t hr owing an
ar m behind me t o keep fr om falling t o my but t .
Fucking men! Piece-of-shit , no good, dick licking,
mot her fucking men! She shoot s out of her chair and paces
t he small space of her office. That s it ! Locking her wide ey es
wit h mine, she t hr ows her hands in t he air . Im done. Im
swit ching t eams. I despise men and fr om now on will only
dat e women.
I dont t hink t hat s necessar y
Ur r ggh! My dad, y our daum, Dominick, Vince, ev er y
ot her sick fuck t hat came befor e him! Im so fucking mad!
Shes back t o pacing.
Yes, I can see t hat , I mumble.
I list en as Ev e comes up wit h ev er y possible combinat ion
for ev er y possible cur se wor d, and ev en some she inv ent s on
t he spot . Hav ing finally exhaust ed t he English language, she
sit s back in her chair .
Ar e y ou going t o be okay ? Im gr at eful t o see her
pr ev iously pur ple face fade t o a splot chy r ed.
Me? Hell y eah, Ill be okay . Im a lesbian now. I t hink t he
quest ion is, ar e y ou okay ?
I t hink about how t o answer , want ing t o be as honest as I
can.
Yes, I believ e I will be.
And I do. I believ e in Jonah and his abilit y . I believ e in his
lov e and his commit ment t o get t ing me away fr om Dominick.
I believ e in us and our fut ur e. That s all I need.
Thank y ou for t elling me about Vince. I wish y oud t old
me ear lier , but I dont know if I would hav e list ened. He r eally
had me fooled. She shakes her head.
Just st ay away fr om him, okay ? I lift my ey ebr ows,
let t ing her know I expect an answer .
Yeah! Of cour se.
I nod, but somet hing deep in my gut t ells me shes doesnt
hav e t he self-cont r ol t o st ay away .
She st ands up and wr aps me in a hug. Im sor r y , Rav e.
I know. Me t oo. I pull back, br eaking t he hug. Ill t ext
y ou lat er t onight when y ou get off wor k. Ar e y ou sur e y our e
okay being alone at y our place? Jonah said y our e welcome t o
st ay in his guest r oom for as long as y ou want .
Yeah. She wav es me off wit h a flick of her hand. Im
fine, but t ell him t hanks.
I will. I walk out t he door , but pop my head back int o
t he office. Dont kill any one fr om t he male species t onight .
Ill t r y not t o.
Leav ing t he r est aur ant , I cant help but sy mpat hize wit h
ev er y man who cr osses pat hs wit h Ev e.
***
Excuse me, miss? You ar ent allowed in t her e unless
y our e on my list , a lar ge r ent -a-cop say s as he t aps his
clipboar d.
Im st opped just shor t of t he Tr aining Cent er s door s. I
knew Jonah had some of t he local media coming t o int er v iew
him t oday , but t his is like t r y ing t o get backst age at a U2
concer t .
Oh, of cour se. Um, Rav en? I hope Jonah put me on t he
list or Im about t o feel like a complet e idiot .
He pushes his mir r or ed av iat or sunglasses up t he br idge
of his nose wit h t he t ip of his index finger . His gaze st ar t s at
my feet and slides up my body . I cr oss my ar ms at my chest
as Im v isually v iolat ed.
Im going t o need t o see some ident ificat ion.
Hes r eally t aking t his door secur it y ser iously . It Llooks
like someone didnt make t he cut in cop school. I hand him
my ID. He looks at his list , checks my dr iv er s license, st udies
my face, and is back t o his list .
Youv e got t o be kidding me.
All r ight . Your e all clear . He hands back my car d.
Im sur pr ised he didnt need a blood sample. I nod in his
dir ect ion and push t hr ough t he door s.
The place is aliv e wit h act iv it y . The mur mur of v oices
hums in my ear s as I gaze ar ound t he lobby . No sign of Jonah.
I slide t hr ough t he gr oups of people and down t he hallway t o
t he main t r aining r oom. The guy s ar e t r aining as usual, but
now t hey r e sur r ounded by camer as and news anchor s. I push
t hr ough about a dozen people in suit s, most of whom ar e
t alking or t ext ing on t heir cell phones.
St r et ching up on my t oes t o see ov er t heir heads, I sear ch
for Jonah. I see Rex and Caleb boxing wit h t wo t r ainer s Iv e
nev er met . Owen is t alking on camer a, a v er y at t r act iv e
news anchor wear ing a low cut v -neck shir t and a miniskir t ,
holding a micr ophone t o his mout h.
Baby gir l. I jump and squeak at t he sound of Blakes
v oice at my shoulder .
You scar ed me t o deat h. I place my hand ov er my
hear t .
His face is ser ious and t hought ful. No wisecr ack come-ons
or dir t y jokes. He st eps int o my space, his gr een ey es bor ing
down on me. I hear d about what happened last night .
Last night ? Memor ies of being naked abov e Jonah flood
my mind. My cheeks flame. I smack my head wit h my palm.
Oh, Vince. Of cour se, he would be t alking about Vince.
Yeah. Vince. His ey es nar r ow and jaw t enses. What did
y ou t hink I was t alking about ?
Not hing. For get it . I blow it off wit h a disint er est ed
shr ug and pr ay t he pink dr ains fr om my face.
Hes st ill st ar ing. Blakes nev er ser ious for t his long. His
face looks pained as he st udies t he space just abov e my head. I
look up. Not hing t her e. What in t he heck is he doing?
Blake, y our e fr eaking me out .
He looks at me, gr ief wor king behind his ey es befor e he
blinks it away . Look, I know He gr imaces and st ar es at
t he floor , like hes gat her ing st r engt h fr om it . I know what
it s like t o hav e a no-good, asshole for a fat her . Iv e liv ed it .
St ill liv ing it . He r ubs his shav ed head. It s one t hing t o fuck
wit h y our son, but t o fuck wit h a gir l? A half gr oan, half
gr owl r umbles in his chest . His focus is fixed on me. I guess
what Im t r y ing t o say is, I got y our back. And Jonahs. You
feel me?
I r ub my lips t oget her , t r y ing t o smash t he inev it able
quiv er . What ev er happened t o Blake in his past is enough
t hat t he simple memor y er ases t he man I know and r eplaces
him wit h a scar ed, t imid boy .
My ey es bur n wit h for ced back t ear s. This is t oo much.
Fir st Jonah and now Blake. They act like t hey would lay down
t heir liv es t o pr ot ect me. That s cr azy . And unfamiliar . It
feels like family .
Yeah, I feel y ou.
His ey es spar kle and his cocksur e smile r et ur ns. He leans
t owar d me wit h his hand cupping his ear . Im sor r y . Did y ou
say y ou want t o feel me? He r uns his hands ov er his chest .
Any wher e in par t icular or y ou want me t o make
suggest ions? Ther es one place, downOw!
I smack him in t he st omach, happy t o see t he anguish
wiped fr om his face.
He r ubs t he spot at his belly wher e I hit him. We need t o
get y ou in t he oct agon. Damn, t hat hur t .
I shoulder bump him, and he t akes his cue t o pull me t o
his side. I dont say a wor d, afr aid t hat my v oice might show
t he deep emot ions Im feeling.
Come on. Ill t ake y ou t o y our man.
Twenty-three
Raven
Two day s unt il fight day .
My mind is focused on inst alling a new t iming belt on t he
Impala while t he lulling v oice of Al Gr een being so in lov e fills
t he air . I ment ally inv ent or y my pr ogr ess. Whit e wall t ir es, a
paint job, and shes done.
Bent ov er wit h my head under t he hood, I feel a t ight gr ip
on my hips. Jonahs t ouch has become a second skin, as
r ecognizable as my own. I smile and gent ly pr ess my backside
int o his gr oin.
You wanna t ell me what it is y our e hiding fr om out
her e?
Hes managed t o figur e me out in t he shor t t ime wev e
been t oget her . Come t o t hink of it , he seemed t o r ead me
pr et t y well aft er a few day s.
I st r aight en fr om beneat h t he hood on a sigh. His hands
slide fr om my hips t o my st omach and I melt int o him. His
t ouch in any capacit y r ender s me t ot ally helpless.
Im not hiding. Im pr ocessing.
Wit h my hair pulled up high on my head, my neck is at
his mer cy . He kisses his spot befor e gent ly nipping. I shiv er .
Your e fr eakin out because t hat for mal dinner is t onight
and because my mom is coming int o t own t omor r ow. His
abilit y t o r ead me can also be incr edibly annoy ing.
Yea h . Can t a girl have a secret? I dont do well wit h
par ent s. What if she doesnt like me? Im sur e shes r eally
pr ot ect iv e of y ou. I mean if y ou wer e my son I would be t oo.
It s just I know how my mom feels about me
Im unable t o finish my t hought , not want ing t o hear t he
wor ds out loud. The fact is Im pr et t y sur e my mom hat es my
gut s. She must blame me for her hor r ible life. If she nev er
had me, she would hav e been able t o r un away fr om
Dominick and hav e a chance at a r eal life or lov e. How could
she not hat e me? Thinking about it makes me hat e my self.
Shes going t o lov e y ou, baby . Shell be char med by y ou
just like ev er y one else.
I wish I had his confidence.
Besides, y ou dont know how y our mom feels about y ou. I
know her act ions show t hat she doesnt car e, but may be she
doesnt know how t o show y ou how she feels. May be she t hinks
y ou hat e her . Hell, y ou hav e ev er y r ight t o.
I usually br ush off t he subject of my mom when it comes
up, but somet hing deep inside t ugs at me. His lov e has giv en
me a safe place t o fall. I can giv e him a piece of me. Wit h his
chest pr essed t o my back, I wont hav e t o wit ness t he pit y in
his ey es. I can do this.
When I was a lit t le gir l, I used t o sneak int o her bed at
night .
His ar ms t ense and his chest flexes against my back.
I would cur l up next t o her , desper at e t o feel t he heat
fr om her skin. I r emember I would slowly inch my hand
closer and closer , so afr aid t o wake her , unt il I could t ouch
just t he t ip of my finger t o her back or her ar m. Somet imes I
would just loop a st r and of her long hair ar ound my finger .
My v oice dr ops t o a whisper as Im t aken back t o t hose
night s. I feel small and insignificant . Cr ushed wit h sadness,
my lungs st r uggle for a full br eat h.
I usually only got a minut e or t wo befor e shed wake up.
It was as if she could sense me, ev en in her sleep, like my v er y
pr esence t r igger ed an int er nal alar m sy st em t hat t old her t o
get away . She would make me go back t o my bed. Some
night s Id be so angr y and desper at e Id r efuse t o leav e. My
humor less laught er br eaks wit h emot ion. She would get sick
of t elling me t o get out , and shed go sleep on t he couch. Shed
r at her sleep on t he couch t han wit h her own daught er .
Baby he whisper s and kisses my head.
The saddest par t is t hat t hose night s wer e t he best . I got
t o sleep t he r est of t he night sur r ounded by her smell. I would
wr ap my self up t ight in her sheet s and pr et end t hey wer e her
ar ms. Id bur y my face in her pillow, smelling her shampoo
and night cr eam.
Hot t ear s dr ip fr om my jaw, and Jonahs ar ms t ight en on
my waist .
Any way , t hat s t he r eason I list en t o old music. All t hose
old t apes wer e my moms. I t ook t hem when I left . I knew
shed be mad, but I also knew she wouldnt come for t hem. I
wipe my cheeks and sniff. List ening t o t his music, t he music
she had play ing ev er y day of my ent ir e life, it s t he only way
I can be close t o her .
The pr essur e at my waist is r eleased and he t ur ns me t o
him. I keep my ey es focused on his chest , not r eady t o
confr ont t he look on his face. His finger s beneat h my chin pull
my gaze t o his. Bending down, his lips soft ly br ush against
mine and st ay t her e as he speaks.
Baby , I pr omise y ou t hat y oull nev er want for phy sical
cont act again. His big, st r ong hands hold my head and he
leans his for ehead against mine. Ill alway s hold y ou when
y our e scar ed. He soft ly kisses my jaw. Comfor t y ou when
y our e sad. His lips br ush against my cheeks. Take car e of
y ou when y our e sick. Tilt ing my head back, he kisses my
for ehead. He bends down and his hazel ey es nar r ow int o
mine. Ill make it my lifes mission t o make up for ev er y
second y ou wer e neglect ed.
Im capt iv at ed by his st ar e, which, like his hold on my
hear t , doesnt let go. I suck in a r agged br eat h, ov er come wit h
emot ion.
I know I say t his all t he t ime, but I lov e y ou, Jonah. So
much.
I lov e y ou t oo, baby . Thank y ou for t elling me about
y our mom. Ther es not hing y ou need t o keep fr om me. I want
t o know y ou, ev en t he st uff y our e not pr oud of.
Okay .
My gor geous gir l and her okay s.
I bur y my face in his chest , feeling light er , hav ing
r eleased a heav y bur den fr om my past and placed it on t he
st r ong, capable shoulder s of t he amazing man befor e me.
Now, as far as t he for mal dinner t onight goes? You hav e
not hing t o wor r y about . I wont leav e y our side, not ev en for a
second. His dimples slowly appear as a smile cr eeps acr oss his
face. Ill ev en t ake y ou t o t he bat hr oom wit h me. He kisses
my neck. That might act ually make t his st upid dinner
wor t h going t o.
I exhale as his play ful wor ds br ing me peace. And t he
v isual of Jonah and I hav ing bat hr oom sex also helps t o chase
away t he last of my ner v es.
I cant wait t o see y ou in t he dr ess y ou picked up.
I r oll my ey es, r emember ing t he day he shov ed t wo
t housand dollar s cash int o my backpack t o shop. I planned on
not using it , unt il I r ealized how expensiv e good for malwear
is. I used all of it .
Besides, if any one should be wor r ied, it s me, he say s.
My br ows pinch t oget her and I st udy his smolder ing ey es.
Why would y ou wor r y ?
I got t a wor r y about all t he assholes wholl be sniffing
ar ound y ou all night . Pr et t y sur e beat ing someones ass at
t his dinner in fr ont of all t he bigwigs would be fr owned upon.
Hes all dimples and beaut iful whit e t eet h as he looks fr om
my ey es t o my lips. My hear t beat s wildly and desir e floods
my v eins. I lick my lips in ant icipat ion and r un my hands
ov er his muscular chest , t humbing his nipples t hr ough his
shir t . Feeling t he sinewy r ipples of his chest , I imagine his
naked t or so abov e me. Heat ignit es my blood and flips my
belly . I look up at him fr om under my ey elashes.
His smile fades and his ey ebr ows ar ch. Again?
It hasnt ev en been a week since I lost my v ir ginit y t o
Jonah, but my appet it e for him is insat iable. I cant get
enough, and fr om t he fr equency of our lov emaking, neit her
can he.
Well, I guess if y ou dont want t o, I can just go back t o
wor king on t he Impala, I say t easingly .
I shift out of his hands and t ake a st ep backwar ds. He
hauls me t o his t or so wit h a gr owl, his mout h at my ear .
Oh, I want t o. Seeing y ou out her e, bent ov er t his car ,
y our sexy ass in t hose shor t shor t s His wor ds ar e lost as he
possesses my mout h. He bit es my lip and I moan against him.
That s my gir l.
Bending down, he put s his big shoulder t o my st omach
and gr abs me behind my knees. In one quick mov e, Im
t hr own ov er his shoulder .
Jonah!
He smacks me on t he bot t om, and my mout h slams shut . I
allow t he sensat ions t o penet r at e my body .
Why does t hat feel so good?
~*~
Jonah
It s six t went y -fiv e, babe. You about r eady ? I call out t o
my bat hr oom door , t he same bat hr oom door Iv e been t alking
t o for ov er an hour .
Rav en locked her self in t her e wit h her dr ess and a bag full
of gir l cr ap and hasnt come out since. Iv e hear d all manner
of sounds coming fr om t he ot her side, but st ill hav ent got t en
ev en t he slight est peek at my gir l.
Okay . One mor e second. Shes been t elling me one mor e
second for t he past fift een minut es.
I t ur n t owar d my full-lengt h mir r or t o st r aight en my t ie.
Slipping my finger beneat h t he collar , I giv e it a y ank,
hoping t o giv e my neck some r elief. Monkey suit s and a
heav y weight s body do not mix. Ev en cust om made, t hey feel
like a glor ified st r aight jacket . I lift my ar ms and br ing t hem
t o cr oss at my chest . The fabr ic st r et ches t o it s limit making
me claust r ophobic. I cant wait t o get t his night ov er wit h.
The sound of somet hing hit t ing t he bat hr oom floor get s
my at t ent ion.
Shoot ! Im okay !
I pr ess my ear t o t he door . You sur e?
Yes, I just um, t hese shoes ar e r eally high and y our t ile
is slipper y .
It s not r ight , but t he t hought of Rav en, as hot and
gr aceful as she is, sliding ar ound off balance in t he bat hr oom,
makes me laugh.
Ar e y ou r eady ? Im coming out , she say s, a ner v ous
t r emor in her v oice.
Ther es a click fr om t he lock, and I st ep back. The door
slowly opens and t he br ight light fr om t he bat hr oom bat hes
Rav ens silhouet t e in an et her eal glow.
Holy shit. My jaw dr ops and I st ar e in awe.
Shes dr essed in a light pur ple, floor -lengt h gown t hat has
a slit all t he way up t he side. St anding wit h one leg slight ly
cocked, her ent ir e upper t high is exposed. My gaze follows t he
line of her t an leg t o t he sexiest pair of st r appy silv er st ilet t os.
The dr ess is hot , but my mind imagines her in not hing but
t hose shoes. I open my mout h t o t ell her how beaut iful she
looks, but t he sight of her br east s r obs me of t he wor dst heir
full swells pushed up in offer ing, begging for my lips. My
mout h goes dr y .
Do I look okay ? She r uns her palms down t he fr ont of her
dr ess self-consciously . Ty pical Rav en. An absolut e knockout
and she has no idea.
Baby , y our e a v ision. Iv e nev er seen any t hing so
beaut iful in all my life.
Her ey es look down t he lengt h of her body t hen lock on
mine. Thank y ou. She t akes a st ep t owar ds me t hen fr eezes
mid-st ep. Oh, y ou hav ent seen t he back y et .
The back? Ther es no way t he back could be bet t er t han
what Im looking at r ight now.
Her ey es spar kle and she giv es me a mischiev ous gr in.
Slowly , she t ur ns and my br eat h cat ches in my t hr oat .
Ther e is no back.
The bir ds in her t at t oo fly in for mat ion fr om her hip t o
her shoulder for all t o see. Her hair is t ied up loosely in an
elegant , messy mass of shiny dar k locks, giv ing me an
unobst r uct ed v iew. My ey es t r av el t he expanse t o t he t wo
dimples v isible abov e her per fect ass. I r each down t o adjust
my self in my pant s. Suddenly my collar isnt t he only t hing
t hat s t ight .
Placing her hand on her cocked hip, she looks ov er her
shoulder . You like?
I uh, y eah. I clear my t hr oat . I mor e t han l-like. It s
Your e amazing. You l-look. To sav e my self fr om fur t her
embar r assment due t o my sudden case of st ut t er -mout h, I
shut up.
St epping t o her , I st ar t at her hip and r un my finger
along t he pat h of her t at t oo. Mesmer ized by t he soft ness of her
skin, I wat ch t iny goose bumps follow t he line of my finger . I
pr ess my lips t o her shoulder . She dr ops her head t o t he side,
exposing t he full lengt h of her neck. I ghost a kiss against her
skin, followed by my t ongue. The combinat ion of her sweet
t ast e and pear smell makes me hungr y for what s beneat h t he
dr ess. My t eet h scr ape along her sensit iv e t hr oat , and I bit e
wit h gent le pr essur e. She leans back and a moan bubbles up
fr om her chest , escaping her lips in a pur r .
You ar e absolut ely gor geous, I whisper against t he spot
wher e I bit her .
Mmm, t hank y ou. Her v oice has t aken on a br eat hy
qualit y t hat has me st r aining against my slacks. You look
v er y handsome t oo. I like t he black on black. It r eminds me of
Clar k Kent .
I kiss her neck once mor e, and pull back. Clar k Kent ? He
was a dor ky news r epor t er . He wor e st ar ched whit e shir t s
wit h bow t ies and shit . I t hink he ev en spor t ed a pocket
pr ot ect or .
Giggling, she t ur ns t o face me. It s t hen t hat I not ice her
face. She usually wear s minimal makeup, but t onight it s
heav ier in all t he r ight places. Her ey es ar e r immed wit h a
smoky color t hat highlight s t he aquamar ine. Her cheeks
dust ed wit h pink, and her lips. Holy hell. Those lips.
Wait , I t hought Clar k Kent was t he hot one.
Im focused on her shimmer ing, pink glossed mout h as she
t alks.
You know t he one who wear s black all t he t ime and
dr iv es t he cool car ?
Huh? I swallow har d, caught up in t he sensor y ov er load
t hat Rav en is dishing out in bucket s.
She places her soft hand against my cheek. Um Clar k
Kent ?
Fuck, t hat s r ight . I for got what we wer e t alking about .
Br uce Way ne, baby . Bat man.
Yes! Your e r ight . Br uce Way ne. Hes t he hot one t hat all
t he gir ls
I cant t ake it any mor e and cr ash my lips against her s.
Her blat ant sex appeal and childlike innocence does me in.
Her lip gloss t ast es like mar shmallow and her mout h like
pepper mint . I suck at her lips, and she bur ies her hands in
my hair , holding me t o her .
My gir l.
I r un my hands ov er t he dr ess, feeling her nipples pucker
beneat h t he fabr ic. My hands gr ip at it wit h impat ience,
gent ly t ugging, knowing what s under neat h is so much
soft er . Ther es no way wer e going t o dinner . Not hing is as
impor t ant t o me in t his moment t han get t ing my gir l naked
under neat h me.
Jonah, she say s br eat hlessly bet ween kisses.
Mmm?
The door .
Hmm?
The door bells r inging. Our r ides her e.
Dont giv e a shit , I gr owl and walk her backwar ds
t owar ds my bed.
Her legs hit t he bed, st opping our pr ogr ession. I hold her
hips and gr ind my now painfully har d er ect ion against her .
She t ilt s her head and deepens t he kiss. Fuck yeah. My gir l,
alway s so r eady .
My phone is r inging in my pocket and t he door bell wont
quit . I gr oan, annoy ed, but nev er giv e up her mout h. This is
happening. Now.
She laughs and pr esses her palms against my chest .
Reluct ant ly , I pull back.
Jonah, we need t o st op. Her r aspy v oice and t r av eling
hands bet r ay her wor ds.
Not going any mor e. Im kissing her neck at my spot ,
hoping she giv es up on t he idea and get s naked soon.
It s a limo, r ight ? Ther es a smile in her quest ion.
I st ep back t o meet her ey es. Yeah, it s a limo. I smile.
Why ?
She shr ugs her shoulder s and dr ops her face, her cheeks
flushed. I hook my finger s beneat h her chin and br ing her
ey es back t o mine, lift ing my ey ebr ows.
Is she t hinking what I t hink shes t hinking?
I just t hought it might be um fun, y ou know? To
make out in a limo?
My body hums wit h excit ement at t he pr ospect of get t ing
dir t y wit h Rav en in t he backseat of a chauffeur ed v ehicle.
I gr ab her hand and lead her t o t he fr ont door . Fine. But
wer e leav ing r ight aft er dinner and picking up wher e we left
off.
Sounds good t o me, she say s t hr ough her giggles.
***
Mr . Slade, it s a pleasur e t o meet y ou, t he limo dr iv er
say s while looking at us fr om t he r ear v iew mir r or . Iv e been
following y our car eer for y ear s.
Ah, shit. Im pr esent ed wit h t he oppor t unit y t o shov e my
hand up Rav ens dr ess in a mov ing v ehicle, and we get chat t y
Char les t he limo dr iv er .
Thanks, man. I appr eciat e y our suppor t .
Rav en r ubs my t high wit h soot hing st r okes, and I
consider mov ing her hand up six inches. Would Char les ev en
not ice? Nah.
That fight in 07 against Hollander was incr edible. How
long had y ou been wit h t he UFL when y ou fought him?
I gr oan and cur se t he fact t hat I r epr esent mor e t han
my self at t imes like t hese, but also my t r aining t eam and t he
UFL. Four y e
Four y ear s! That s how many . And t hr ee y ear s befor e
t hat y ou wer e undefeat ed against Sant or o! He slaps his
st eer ing wheel, his booming laught er filling t he lengt h of t he
car .
Yeah, look we wer e hoping for a lit t le pr iv at e t ime t o t alk
about some t hings. Do y ou t hink we could put up t he pr iv acy
wall, so
My cousin Junior is t r aining wit h an MMA fight ing
league in San Ant onio. Hes been
Char les goes on and on, but my focus is on my gir l whose
face is br ight r ed fr om holding back laught er . Hardy fucking
har har.
I decide Iv e hear d enough fr om Char les and t ell him well
cont inue aft er t he dinner , but t hat I need some fucking alone
t ime wit h my dat e. Shit .
Pr iv acy window up and finally alone, Im assault ed by
her smell. I pr act ically at t ack her , not t hat shes
complaining. I almost get my hand up her dr ess when t he
limo lur ches t o a st op. Shit!
I t ell Char les we need fiv e minut es. Rav en checks her face
in a mir r or , and I t hink about ev er y t hing except what Ill be
doing t o her lat er t onight . Gr eat , now Im t hinking about it
again.
You about done? If I dont get out of her e soon, Ill finish
what I st ar t ed.
She giv es me a sexy smile and t ucks a couple loose st r ands
of hair back int o place. Im r eady .
I laugh, shaking my head at her mixed message r eply .
We exit t he limo, and holding hands, we walk t hr ough
Mandalay Bay Hot els casino t o t he elev at or s. Rav en fidget s at
my side as phot ogr apher s snap pict ur es and people st ar t t o
gat her .
You look gor geous, baby . I t r y t o t ake her mind off being
t he cent er of at t ent ion t o a bunch of st r anger s. She blushes
and holds my hand t ight er .
This dinner is held on t he sixt y -four t h floor of t he hot el in
a swanky r est aur ant called Mix. As soon as we exit t he
elev at or , wer e gr eet ed by an older gent leman in a t uxedo.
Ah, Mr . Slade. Your par t y is expect ing y ou. If y oull
follow me, Ill escor t y ou and Miss
Her hand locks mine in a deat h gr ip.
Rav en, I say .
Of cour se, Mr . Slade. Miss Rav en. Please follow me.
Releasing her fir m gr ip, she leans int o my shoulder .
Thank y ou. Her whisper ed wor ds ar e only for my ear s.
I lift her hand, kiss her knuckles, and giv e her a wink. She
nev er t ells people her last name, afr aid of being associat ed
wit h Dominick. His name cir culat es among t he r ichest of
Vegass philander er s. And a high-end place like t his is bound
t o be familiar wit h t he name if not t he man himself.
Wer e led int o a pr iv at e dining r oom in t he back of t he
r est aur ant . It s packed wit h r oughly t hir t y people fr om t he
or ganizat ion. I feel Rav ens hesit at ion as we st ep int o t he
cr owd. I spot Owen and Nikki acr oss t he r oom and decide t o
st ick close t o t hem so t hat Rav en will hav e someone t o t alk t o.
Differ ent people gr eet me wit h handshakes and hellos, but
all t heir ey es ar e on my gir l. This is going t o be a long fucking
night .
Twenty-four
Raven
Im at one of t he fanciest r est aur ant s in t own, I ar r iv ed by
limo, and Im wear ing an out fit t hat cost mor e t han I make in
a mont h, bought for me by my r ich boy fr iend.
Im Julia Rober t s in Pretty Woman.
How appr opr iat e.
No, Cinder ella. Im Cinder ella out wit h my Pr ince
Char ming. Alt hough, Im pr et t y sur e my Pr ince Char ming
would kick t he r eal Pr ince Char mings but t in a fist fight . And
now my ner v es ar e set t ing up imaginar y fight s bet ween
car t oon char act er s.
Well, at least it s t aking my mind off t he fact t hat Im
t ot ally out of my element . I may as well hav e wr it t en I don t
belong on my for ehead in black ey eliner . Ev er y one her e is
eit her r ich, famous, influent ial, or a combinat ion of all t hr ee.
I need t o pull it t oget her .
I jump as Jonah places his hand on my back. I look up t o
see a t all man wit h sandy blond hair and blue ey es ey eing
me.
Rav en, t his is Tay lor Gibbs, t he owner of t he UFL.
I gat her my social gr aces. Iv e nev er seen so many high-
power ed people in one r oom. The place is pr act ically
v ibr at ing wit h egos and money .
Mr . Gibbs, it s nice t o meet y ou. Thank y ou for hav ing
me.
Rav en, it s a pleasur e.
He r eaches out t o shake t he hand Iv e ext ended. Jonah
t enses and pulls me closer t o him, t ucking me deep int o his
side. Mr . Gibbs br ings my offer ed hand t o his mout h, kissing it
soft ly .
I pr ess deeper int o Jonah at t he gest ur e. No ones t ouch
feels welcome, except Jonahs. To keep fr om embar r assing
him in fr ont of his boss, I put on a br av e face.
Im glad y ou could make it , Rav en. His glar e zer os in on
Jonah and a whisper of t ension char ges t he air bet ween t hem.
My ey es dar t back and for t h bet ween t he t wo.
Jonahs br ooding is dir ect ed at his boss. Mr . Gibbs smir ks
at me and r eleases my hand. I br ing it immediat ely t o
Jonahs abdomen, hoping t hat t he t ouch will help shake t he
cr eepy fr om my hand.
Mr . Gibbs st ar t s in wit h Jonah about who he needs t o
t ouch base wit h at t he par t y when a man walks up behind
him. Hes as big as Jonah in height and widt h, but wher e
Jonahs fer ocit y is inv it ing, t his mans is t er r ify ing. He has
dar k hair and ey es t hat look almost black. His face is held in a
per manent scowl wit h a scar ov er his left ey e and one at his
chin. He st alks t owar d us wit h t he gr ace of a r hino.
Well, if it isnt my own per sonal punching bag, he say s,
glar ing at Jonah.
Jonahs gr ip t ight ens. Del Tor o. I t hought t hey only
allowed civ ilized people int o t his place. Not knuckle-dr agging
chimps like y ou.
Mr . Gibbs mov es bet ween t he fight er s. Sav e it for t he
oct agon, guy s. No need t o make a scene in fr ont of t he lov ely
Rav en.
Del Tor os ey es swing t o me and his head t ilt s t o t he side.
He st udies my face and a small smile t ips his lips. His
expr ession is animalist ic, but not a chimp like Jonah chided.
He looks mor e like a hungr y lion.
Now I know what it feels like t o be a zebr a on t he
Ser enget i.
Rav en, when y ou get bor ed wit h t his loser , Ill show y ou
how a champion does it . He st eps for war d, causing Mr . Gibbs
t o use his shoulder t o keep him back.
Jonah gr owls so deeply t hat I feel it befor e I hear it . His
ey es fix on Del Tor o in t he deat h st ar e t o end all deat h st ar es.
You fucking t alk t o her again Ill put y ou in a coma r ight
her e.
Ener gy fr om y ear s of animosit y r olls off of t hem in wav es.
Jonahs jaw is t ense, his icy glar e fixed, and his fist s balled at
his sides. Hes about t o lose it . I cant let t hat happen.
I put on my sweet est smile and st ep in fr ont of Jonah,
placing my self dir ect ly bet ween t wo of t he biggest men Iv e
ev er seen. You must be Vict or Del Tor o. Jonahs t old me all
about y ou. Six y ear s as t he Heav y weight Champion. I
whist le t hr ough my t eet h. That s impr essiv e.
Blinking, Del Tor o t akes his ey es fr om a seet hing Jonah
and set s t hem on me. His face v isibly r elaxes, but not by
much.
Yeah, it s impr essiv e, and I dont plan on giv ing up t he
t it le any t ime soon.
No, of cour se not . I bat at him wit h a gir lie giggle t hat s
so sweet it makes Del Tor o smile. Great. It s working. About
y our offer , I can pr omise y ou Ill nev er get bor ed wit h Jonah.
But t hank y ou for t he compliment .
You let me know if y ou change y our mind, sweet hear t .
He glar es at Jonah one last t ime and walks away .
Ther es a collect iv e sigh of r elief fr om t wo of t he t hr ee
people left . Jonahs st ill seet hing, but at least his fist s ar e no
longer clenched.
Wow, y ou hav e a gift . Iv e nev er seen any one who can
t alk down t est ost er one-fueled fight er s t hat quickly . Must be
t hose ey es. Mr . Gibbs winks at me befor e excusing himself.
Once hes gone, I t ur n t o a st ill-fr ozen Jonah. Pr essing my
body t o t he lengt h of his, I slide my hands ar ound his neck.
His ey es ar e unfocused, clinging t o t he edge of self-cont r ol.
Hey . You okay ?
He makes a sound t hat s half gr unt half gr oan. Hm. Not
okay . I need t o t r y a differ ent t act ic.
I pr ess my br east s against his chest and kiss his chin. This
get s me his ey es. Pr ogr ess.
Making my way fr om t her e, I br ush my lips against his
jaw line slowly , allowing him t o feel my br eat h on his face.
His ar ms wr ap ar ound my waist , and his t humbs r ub cir cles
on t he exposed skin at my back. Now wer e get t ing
somewher e.
I kiss below his ear . You okay ?
Bet t er .
I lean away , but keep my hands locked behind his neck.
That was int ense.
I want t o beat t hat guy s ass. I swear , Rav en, I dont
r egr et making t hat deal wit h Dominick. Id do it a million
t imes ov er , he whisper s. But , Im r eally , really looking
for war d t o beat ing t he shit out of t hat asshole when I get
anot her oppor t unit y .
I t r y t o comfor t him wit h a smile, but it feels off. My chest
aches. Guilt war s wit h gr at it ude. How can I do t his t o him?
How can I not ?
This must be t or t ur e: all t his t alk about being t he next
Heav y weight Champion, his undefeat ed r ecor d, and Del Tor o
ant agonizing him. Inst ead of going out t her e on fight night ,
doing what comes nat ur ally , he has t o play possum.
Im gr at eful for his sacr ifice, but I didnt ant icipat e how
much he would suffer . Tur n his back on his inst inct s. Push
down his nat ur e. All for me.
I pull away and he r eleases me fr om his hold. His ey es
r oam t he r oom casually , unawar e of t he int er nal st r uggle his
wor ds induced.
My lungs ar e t ight . I cant br eat he. The weight of all
t hat s happened pr esses in fr om all angles. I t ur n t o a near by
t able and lean heav y against t he chair . I knew what he was
giv ing up on a hy pot het ical lev el, but seeing it wit h my own
ey es, feeling t he aggr ession elect r ify ing t he space bet ween
t hem, just made t his real.
A gr oup of people walk up t o us, but Im so lost in my head
I dont pay at t ent ion. My mind whir ls wit h excuses t o get out
of her e. Bat hr oom. Ill just r un t o t he bat hr oom, gat her
my self andWhat the hell?
A gor geous blonde in a skin-t ight , br ight r ed dr ess is
st anding way t o close t o Jonah. I wat ch in hor r or as t he
beaut y queen wr aps her ar ms ar ound his neck. In sickening
slow mot ion, she pr esses an open mout h kiss r ight on his lips.
Fuck t hat !
Adr enaline floods my v eins.
Hey ! My body mov es befor e I t hink bet t er of it and Im
r ight in her face.
Jonahs wiping his mout h wit h t he back of his hand.
Get y our hands off my boy fr iend.
She looks me up and down befor e pr essing her body closer
t o his. Jonah t akes a st ep t o t he side, but she winds her ar ms
ar ound his waist , st icking t o him like a Siamese t win. And if
I dont ? What ar e y ou going t o do about it ?
Ev en her glar e is pr et t y .
St ep away . Now. My v oice shakes, but I st and t all.
Jonah giv es her ar ms a final t ug and she r eleases her
hold.
She st eps int o my space. Wit h her slut t y shoes, shes a
good six inches t aller t han me. Her st r apless dr ess r ev eals cut
muscles t hat ar e coiled and r eady . Do y ou hav e any idea
who I am?
No. Dont car e. But if y ou t ouch my boy fr iend again,
you re going t o find out who I am.
An ev il glint t ouches her cr y st al blue ey es. Im Camille
Fisher . I fight for a liv ing. You want t o go t her e. Let s go
t her e.
Im sick and t ir ed of people messing wit h me. She may be
st r ong and t r ained, but Im fed up and pushed past my limit .
I get r ight in her face and giv e her a smile t hat is most
likely all t eet h. Im Rav en, Jonahs gir lfr iend. And Im a
mechanic.
She t osses her head back, her blond hair cascading ar ound
her shoulder s, and laughs. Mechanic. Scar y . She say s t he
last wor d in a sing-song v oice and r olls her ey es. Her body
closes in.
Baby , leav e it alone. Let s go. Jonah slides his hand
ar ound my waist .
Yeah, y ou should be scar ed. I lean in unt il our noses ar e
almost t ouching. Ev er y t ime y ou get in y our car , I want y ou
t o t hink about how easy it would be for me t o cut y our br akes.
Im sur e y ou hav e some ov er pr iced piece of fiber glass built in
some for eign count r y . Do y ou hav e any idea how simple it is
t o disassemble a car ? A few missing bolt s and t he t hing falls
apar t while y our e dr iv ing down t he fr eeway .
You wouldnt .
Tr y me, bit ch.
Her ey es t r av el back and for t h bet ween Jonah and me.
For get it , Camille. Let s go, her fr iend say s fr om behind
her .
Hey , hey , hey ! What do we hav e her e? I lov e a good
cat fight . Blake st r olls up wit h a huge gr in on his face, like he
saw t he ent ir e t hing and finds it hilar ious. They r e way
mor e fun naked, but t hen again He scr at ches his chin and
looks at t he ceiling befor e looking back at us. Isnt
ev er y t hing?
I bit e my lip against a smile.
Blake, t his is Camille Fisher . Jonah int r oduces Blake,
and I dont miss t hat he pulls me back a good t wo feet as he
does.
Camilles ey es spar kle as she t akes in all t hat is Blake. He
giv es her a v isual once- ov er , like hes sizing up a meal. It s
obv ious wher e t his will end up t onight .
Camille, y ouv e got quit e a mout h on y ou. Blakes
double meaning makes me giggle-snor t , ear ning me anot her
glar e fr om t he female fight er .
Come on, baby . Leav e her t o Blake. Jonah guides me
away fr om t he gr oup, st ill wiping r ed lipst ick fr om his face.
Her e, allow me. I r un my t humb along his full lower
lip, r ekindling my anger at t he r eminder t hat anot her
woman pr essed her mout h against his. Wher e do y ou t hink
she par ked her car ?
He kisses my finger , smiling. Dont know. But damn,
wat ching y ou nut up on t hat bit ch? Tough, gor geous, and hot
as hell.
I wr ap my ar ms ar ound his waist and kiss him. Ther e.
All memor ies of her er ased. My finger s absent ly r un along
t he collar of his shir t . I dont know what came ov er me. My
t oler ance t ank was full and I snapped.
Now y ou know how it feels t o be me.
His wor ds br ing my t hought s back t o ear lier . As pissed as I
was at Camille, Jonah must feel t hat a million t imes wor se
facing off wit h Del Tor o. And t her es not hing he can do about
it .
Im going t o r un t o t he ladies r oom. Wash all t his r ed
lipst ick fr om my hand. I hold my hand up, and quickly dr op
it . I dont need t o wash my hand, I just need a second t o shake
off my t hought s and get t hr ough t he night .
Ill go wit h
No, it s fine. Youv e got people who want t o t alk t o y ou
her e. Ill be back befor e y ou know it .
His quest ioning st ar e locks on mine, as if hes t r y ing t o
r ead my t hought s. I av er t my ey es, knowing hell be able t o if
I giv e him enough t ime.
All r ight , find me when y our e done. Or Ill find y ou.
Jonah, Im fine. Really .
He doesnt look conv inced, but I t ake my chance t o leav e
befor e he changes his mind. I kiss his dimpled cheek, and slip
fr om t he r oom.
The mat r e d dir ect s me t o t he r est r oom at t he ot her side
of t he r est aur ant . I welcome t he dist ance and t ake t he t ime t o
sor t my head. Halfway t her e, somet hing familiar cat ches my
ey e. I st op mid-st ep and squint . No, it can t be.
Sit t ing at an int imat e t able for t wo is a st unning woman
wit h long black hair and a shimmer ing gold dr ess. She flips
t he dar k locks in a play ful manner , a br ight smile light ing
her face. She seems happy and car efr ee. If I didnt know bet t er
Id say she looks in lov e.
Mom.
Twenty-five
Raven
It s been t wo y ear s since Iv e seen her . Par t of me want s t o
r un t o her , hoping t he sight of me will make her smile. I want
her t o t ell me shes missed me and has been meaning t o call,
as most moms would do wit h a child t hey hav ent seen in t wo
y ear s. But Im fr ozen in place. Those t hought s ar e not hing
mor e t han t he musings of a neglect ed childone who want s
what shell nev er hav e.
I st udy her as she sips her wine, her ey es int ent on t he
john acr oss t he t able. She t ilt s her head and smiles. The
soft ness in her gaze makes my hear t pinch wit h env y .
Iv e nev er been on t he r eceiv ing end of her smile. Her
blank st ar es, t hose I know. The way her spar kling ey es go
dead when she looks at me, I know t hat t oo. And shes
cer t ainly nev er looked at me wit h lov e. Indiffer ence, y es.
Resent ment , may be.
Lov e? No.
She wouldnt giv e me t hat . But her e, for t he r ight pr ice,
she gift s t hese t hings t o a st r anger . Hes paid for it . He is
deser v ing of it , but not me, not her own daught er .
My br eat h becomes shor t . Anger boils my insides. Tear s
launch t heir br ut al at t ack wit hout mer cy . This t ime, I dont
fight t hem. I sav or t he st ing on my cheeks as t he salt y
ev idence of my neglect consumes me. I welcome t he sadness
and desper at ion as it spur s on my r age.
Iv e been such a fool. Day dr eaming about what might be.
I hav e no par ent s. They used each ot her t o cr eat e a sick joke of
a human being for t heir own selfish r easons. Iv e put up wit h
t he neglect and abuse for long enough. No mor e.
My legs begin a jour ney my mind hasnt caught up t o.
Befor e I know it , Im st anding at t heir t able. My ey es lock on
my mom. I sense t he cur ious st ar e of her dat e fr om t he cor ner
of my ey e, but I wait . I wait t o be acknowledged by her .
It doesnt t ake long befor e her face t ur ns t o me wit h a
polit e smile, pr obably t hinking Im a wait r ess, and t hen falls
inst ant ly : blank st ar e, dead ey es.
No smile for me, mom? What a shocker .
Silent ly , our ey es locked on each ot her , my lips cur l.
Can we help y ou? say s t he john.
I ignor e him and speak dir ect ly t o her . How could y ou?
The acr id t one of my wor ds makes her shift in her seat .
Rav en, she whisper s my name like it s a dir t y wor d.
Her ey es dar t ar ound t he r oom. Im on a dat e. Call me
t omor r ow and we can
How fucking could y ou? You smile at him. I point an
accusing finger at t he john. But y ou can har dly st and t o look
at me! My fist slams against t heir t able, shaking t he china.
Your own daught er .
Ey es on t he john, she shakes her head and shr ugs as if t o
say , I don t know what she s talking about.
Bit ch!
Im sor r y about t his, Mar k. Ther e must be some mis
Your e sor r y , Mark? My glar e swings back and for t h
bet ween Mar k and my mom. Your e sor r y , fucking Mark?
You r uined my life!
Mar k jumps fr om his chair . Wat ch y our t one! Wer e
hav ing dinner , and if y ou know what s best for y ou, y oull
t ur n ar ound and walk out of her e. Now.
I hav e no int ent ion of walking out of her e. Not wit hout
say ing what I need t o say .
Did y ou know, Mom? Did y ou know what his plan was for
me? Do y ou hav e any idea what it s like t o hav e y our dad t ell
y ou t hat he t hat he I cant br ing my self t o say it , but t he
fear showing in her wide ey es t ells me she knew. Hes come
for me.
Her hand gr ips at her t hr oat and her face pales. She leans
t o t he side, squint ing at somet hing behind me. She want s t o
av oid what Im say ing. No, not t his t ime.
I get r ight in her face and point . You did t his t o me.
Why ? You r uined my life. I wish y ou nev er had me!
Her ey es glist en befor e t hey dr op t o her lap.
That s enough! Mar k gr abs my ar m and pulls har d.
Unfazed by Mar ks t ight ening gr ip, I int end on expelling
t he ugly unt il t hey t hr ow me out . Do y ou hear me, whore? I
wish I was nev er bor n!
Get y our mot her fucking hands off her , a low, but
aut hor it at iv e r umble demands fr om my back.
Mar ks ey es mov e t o a t ower ing figur e behind me befor e
he r eleases his hand. I dont hav e t o t ur n ar ound t o know my
sav ior as his st r ong ar ms wr ap ar ound my waist .
The sound of Jonahs v oice and comfor t of his t ouch
t r igger a sob fr om deep in my chest . He s here. Thank God. I
lean int o his embr ace. I dont know how much he hear d, but
his pr esence r eminds me of what I hav e and dulls t he ache of
what I nev er will.
Iv e got y ou, baby . Let me t ake y ou home.
Home.
Jonah is my home now. Hes t he only one who ev er car ed
enough t o fight for me. Hes my family . All t hat mat t er s now
is us.
Jonah t ur ns me in his ar ms. I bur y my face in his chest ,
and let t he emot ions ov er t ake me. His soot hing wor ds ar e
not hing but backgr ound noise t o my uncont r ollable sobs.
He walks us fr om t he r est aur ant and back t o our wait ing
limo. The t ear s begin t o dr y as Im placed int o t he pr iv acy of
t he car . Im a mess of ner v es, anger , and hur t as v er bal v omit
flows fr om my lips like a sor or it y gir l on induct ion night . Sobs
br eak wit h r oar ing wor ds of dev ast at ion as t went y -one y ear s
of pain finally find r elease.
Jonahs ey es ar e wide, wat ching me kick and scr eam,
t hr owing out ev er y cur se wor d t hat comes t o mind. Im not
fully awar e of what Im say ing, but Jonah flinches as t he once
for eign wor ds t umble fr om my lips wit h ease.
Seconds t ur n int o minut es befor e my hear t r at e slows and
my muscles r elax. Exhaust ion set s in. Jonah slides t o my side,
wr apping me in his ar ms.
You finished? His quest ion is t ender and laced wit h
meaning.
Finished cr y ing? Finished wit h my mom? Finished
fight ing my fut ur e?
Nodding my head int o his neck, he holds me t ight er .
I shouldv e gone wit h y ou. I nev er shouldv e let y ou
leav e aft er t hat shit wit h Camille. He sounds angr y wit h
himself, but none of what happened t onight is his fault .
A new wav e of anger flicker s at t he ment ion of her name,
but t her es no fuel left t o ignit e it . I sink deeper int o his
embr ace.
Tay lor want ed me t o be seen in public wit h her t o
pr omot e t he Female MMA League. I t old him I wouldnt do it ,
but I guess she didnt like t aking no for an answer . His lips
pr ess against t he t op of my head. Dont t hink shell be
hear ing no fr om Blake.
Camille up against Blake. She doesnt st and a chance.
I under st and. It just caught me off guar d. Del Tor o,
Camille, my mom
Cr azy night .
I nod.
Feel good? Telling her off like t hat ?
My face heat s, and Im t hankful it s dar k so he cant see it ;
alt hough, he can pr obably feel it t hr ough his shir t .
How much did y ou hear ?
Ev er y t hing. You wer e y elling pr et t y loud. Im pr oud of
y ou, baby . His war m hand car esses my ar m, r einfor cing his
wor ds.
Pr oud? I act ed like an idiot in t her e. Made a fool out of
my self, out of y ou.
You st ood up for y our self. Let y our mom know what
y ouv e been keeping inside for way t oo long. What y ou did
was r eally br av e.
Once again, he giv es, unknowingly filling my emot ional
cup t o t he br im. And t hen some.
Please t ell me no one fr om y our t eam hear d. Your boss?
Your publicist ? Camille! My v oice gr ows louder as hy st er ia
r et ur ns.
Shhh, t hey had no clue. I went t o find y ou and saw y ou
leaning ov er y our mom like a bear about t o at t ack. I t old t he
host ess t o giv e t hem t he message t hat y ou wer e sick and I had
t o get y ou home. Did me a fav or . I hat e t hose st uffy dinner s,
ev er y one blowing sunshine up each ot her s asses.
The limo slows t o a st op. I peer out t he window t o see wer e
in Jonahs dr iv eway . Char lie, t he limo dr iv er , opens t he door
and Jonah get s out . I hear him mumbling somet hing about
not t alking t o t he media followed by Char lies emphat ic
agr eement . Jonah r eaches in t o help me out of t he car .
Miss Rav en, it s been a pleasur e. Char lies face looks
concer ned.
I wipe my ey es and smile. Thank y ou, Char lie. It was
nice meet ing y ou.
Jonah t osses him a t hick fold of bills and a chin lift and
guides me t o t he fr ont door . I beeline it t o Jonahs r oom t o t ake
off my dr ess and wash my face.
St epping int o t he bat hr oom, I flip on t he light and r ecoil
at my r eflect ion. Walking closer t o t he mir r or , I t ilt my head
and squint .
Holy heck.
Black ey e makeup mar ks channel down my face like a
r oad map of may hem. Blot chy r ed mar ks on my cheeks and
for ehead highlight my bloodshot ey es. I look like a dement ed
pr om queen, minus all t he blood. And Jonah held me like t his,
as I scr eamed ev er y cuss wor d I could t hink of.
My hands fly t o my mout h. He must t hink Im a lunat ic.
Wor ds t hr own fr om my hissy fit come r ushing back. The
memor y of Jonahs hazel ey es, wide and set on me while
While I made a total fool out of myself.
Hy st er ia swells in my chest . I r oll my lips int o my mout h
and for ce back t he maniacal laught er . A flut t er ing bubbles
up fr om my chest as I r ecall my moms face when I st epped t o
her t able. Laught er explodes, r icochet ing off t he t iled walls.
Mar ks face when he saw Jonah has me doubled ov er . The
sor r y sack looked like he soiled his br iefs.
The int ensit y of what happened sinks in. I muffle my
fr enzy int o a washclot h, hoping it s cool cont act will ease t he
delir ium. My cheeks hur t fr om smiling and I check out my
blur r ed r eflect ion. Cr azy ey es, bleeding black t ear s, huge
smile. Pur e, cer t ifiable insanit y .
I collapse int o a t or r ent of giggles, causing r iv er s t o
st r eam down my face. Tear s bor n of laught er feel so much
bet t er t han t hose bor n fr om pain. My jaw aches, but t he howl
cont inues t o t umble fr om my lips.
My side cr amps. I pr ess against t he pain and t r y t o calm
down wit h deep br eat hing.
It doesnt wor k.
My st omach muscles cont r act as I cackle wit hout cont r ol.
The sound fades in wav es as I t r ade oxy gen for lunacy . Is it
possible to die of laughter?
I sense mov ement fr om t he cor ner of my ey e. Jonah is
st anding in t he door way , fr ozen and st ar ing. Wit hout t he
br eat h t o speak, I hold up my palm and pr ay he get s t he
message. Yes. I ve officially lost it.
What t he fuck? he whisper s.
I shake my head, pleading wit h him t o st op. If he speaks
anot her wor d, Im pr et t y sur e Ill cough up my kidney s fr om
laughing.
He t ilt s his head, st udy ing me. Ar e y ou fucking kidding
me?
He didnt list en. I squeeze my ey es shut , and soundless
laught er r acks my body .
I cant st op. I manage t o get out t he wor ds befor e
anot her wav e of laught er br ings me t o my knees.
Baby ? His lips ar e t wit ching like hes fight ing t he ur ge
t o join me in Cr azy t own.
He closes t he dist ance bet ween us in t wo long st r ides and
he kneels in fr ont of me. His face is fixed in a sexy half-gr in;
his ey elids ar e low and lust ful. He gr abs my face har d, not
har d enough t o hur t , but enough t o get my at t ent ion. My
laught er dies under t he int ensit y of his st ar e. Blood r aces
t hr ough my v eins and my belly somer sault s. Heat blooms in
my chest and I lean in.
Ther e she is, he whisper s.
My pulse sur ges wit h a fur ious passion t hat is any t hing
but funny . Ey eing his full lips, I get closer , pr essing my chest
against his. My t ongue slowly makes a pass along my lower
lip, pr epar ing for his at t ent ion.
That s my gir l, he gr owls befor e his lips cov er mine.
Explor ing his mout h, desir e consumes me. I scr ape my
t eet h along t he inside of his bot t om lip and swallow his
answer ing gr oan. All t he emot ions fr om t his ev ening ar e
spir aling t oget her t o fuel t he kiss and r amp up my need. I r ip
t hr ough his dr ess shir t , but t ons bouncing off t he mar ble floor .
Pushing it fr om his shoulder s, I r un my hands down his
r ippled abdomen, digging my nails in as I go. His hands
t angle in my hair t o deepen t he kiss. The smell of mint and
aft er shav e per meat e t he air and seduce my senses.
His hand t r ails down my ar m, leav ing a wake of fir e
against my skin. Wit h a gent le t ouch, he finds t he slit of my
dr ess, pushing t he fabr ic aside at my hip. St ill on my knees, I
spr ead my legs in ant icipat ion. He gr ips my hip t hen slides
his hand down t o wher e I need it most . I gr oan and r oll my
hips int o his hand.
He st ills. I smile.
All night ? His v oice is dar k and hungr y .
Yes, all night . My answer is spoken t hr ough t he sat isfied
smile t hat pulls at my lips.
His ey es lock on mine, wide and fascinat ed.
What ? You didnt expect me t o wear pant ies wit h t his
dr ess, did y ou? It s t oo low cut in t he back. I had t o go
commando. Who knew somet hing as simple as not wear ing
pant ies could giv e me so much power ? And power ov er
someone as st r ong and commanding as Jonah is a pot ent
aphr odisiac.
That would hav e sav ed us a whole lot of t r ouble t onight .
If I had known y ou wer e naked under t hat dr ess, I can
guar ant ee y ou wouldnt hav e seen Camille or y our mom.
Hell, y ou wouldnt hav e seen much out side of my sheet s.
I place a soft kiss against his lips and st and. His ey ebr ows
dr op low as he wat ches me wit h r apt at t ent ion. I t ur n my
back t o him, but peek ov er my shoulder and wink. He st ar es
at me, a helpless look on his face.
Yes!
I slip a st r ap off my shoulder , making sur e t o keep my
ey es locked on his. He licks his lips. I t ur n and glance ov er my
ot her shoulder befor e sliding t hat st r ap down. His fist s flex
against his massiv e t highs. Inch by inch, I dr op t he dr ess
lower in a lazy st r ipt ease. His ey es glaze ov er beneat h heav y
lids as I r ev eal t he backside of my naked body in
painst akingly slow st eps.
Finally , wit h t he dr ess pooling ar ound my feet , I st ep out
of t he silken fabr ic. Im left st anding in my high heels. And
not hing else.
Jonah r ises t o his feet . St ill wit h my back t o him, Im
at t acked by a moment of self-consciousness and cup my
br east s t o hide t hem fr om his v iew.
He st eps behind me. I can feel t he heat fr om his body and
smell t he spice of his cologne, but hes not t ouching me.
Tur n ar ound, he demands gent ly .
My head swiv els his way , followed by my body . The
clicking of my shoes against t he mar ble floor is t he only sound
in t he r oom next t o my quickened br eat h.
His ey es t ake me in fr om hair t o heels. Wit h a feat her
light t ouch, he r emov es my hands fr om my br east s. No
hiding.
He r uns his finger s fr om my hand, t o my shoulder . They
cont inue t heir jour ney down my spine t o my bot t om. I suck
in a br eat h as he t r aces t he line down bet ween my legs and
back up leav ing a t r ail of heat t hat pools in my belly . He
walks in a slow cir cle ar ound me, nev er br eaking his finger s
cont act wit h my flesh, skat ing ar ound t o my st omach, my
hip, and back while he walks.
His gaze is dar k and pr edat or y as he st alks me.
Gor geously sculpt ed muscles paint ed in br illiant color s cat ch
and r eflect t he light . I st ar e at him unabashed, wat ching his
r eflect ion in t he mir r or when his cir cle is complet e and hes
st opped behind me. His silence speaks v olumes while he t akes
in my for m.
Leav e t he shoes on. The jagged edge t o his v oice sends a
delicious t r emble up my spine.
I t ur n t owar d him and gr ab t he waist of his slacks. The
ev idence of his ar ousal is pr essing against his fly , pushing t he
fabr ic past capacit y . I r un my finger s along his lengt h,
feeling st eel beneat h wool. His hips flex int o my t ouch.
Jonah
St ep back, baby .
I mov e back unt il t he cold gr anit e pr esses against my
backside. His hands gr ip my waist and lift , set t ing me on t he
count er t op. The heat fr om his kiss and war m hands at my
br east s er ase t he chill of t he icy r ock against my bar e skin.
He pr esses himself bet ween my legs, gr ipping my hips
wit h impat ience. I fumble wit h his belt and zipper , his br eat h
escaping on a hiss when I finally r elease him. I gasp as he
slides a hand bet ween my legs, for cing a t r emble of need t o
slit her down my spine.
Jonah, t he bed. Now. His bar ely -t her e t ouch and gent le
coaxing has me begging for his possession.
A flash of his one-dimple smile and heav y ey elids almost
push me t o t he edge. He wor ks bet ween my legs wit h magical
finger s. Wit h my hands br aced behind me, I pr ess against his
hand.
Not going t o t he bed, baby . I want t o wat ch us.
His wor ds ar e confusing, but Im t oo lost in t he sensat ions
t o ask for explanat ion. My hear t r aces; pleasur e coils deep in
my belly . A moan falls fr om my lips. He mov es his hand, and
I miss it for a second befor e I feel his heat pr ess against me.
Yes, I whisper .
He bur ies himself deep and capt ur es my mout h. Wit h one
t hr ust , my v ision explodes in Technicolor spar ks. Tingling
shar ds of ecst asy flood my body . I call out his name, r olling
my hips and r iding out my r elease. He cov er s my neck and
shoulder in wet kisses. Caught up in my fr ee fall, I wr ap my
legs ar ound his waist and r ock against him, gr eedy for mor e.
So fucking pr et t y . He r uns his hands fr om my hips t o
my knees and behind him t o my calv es. Lov e y our shoes,
baby . I want t o feel t hem digging int o my back. Wr ap me
t ight .
A sagging puppet at his mer cy , I lock my ankles behind
his back. He br aces his hands on t he count er s edge, put t ing
dist ance bet ween our t or sos. I wat ch in fascinat ion as his ey es
lower t o our connect ion. I t ur n t o our r eflect ion in t he mir r or
at t he end of t he double-sink count er t op.
The v isual of our bodies lov ing each ot her in an er ot ic
r hy t hm has me memor ized. His mult i-color ed biceps
cont r act . Abdominal muscles r ipple wit h ev er y flex of his
hips. My body sway s in t ime wit h each delicious t hr ust , back
and for t h in wav es.
For t he fir st t ime, I see my self t he way Jonah sees me:
sexy , allur ing, and ev en t empt ing. My long legs, t ipped wit h
st ilet t os, ar e wr apped t ight ly ar ound his waist . Our ey es meet
in t he mir r or . No smiles now.
Only scor ching fir e.
We wat ch our r eflect ion and t he pleasur e builds. Our ey es
lock in int imacy , liber at ing us of our need for wor ds.
His gaze dr ops t o my br east s, t he dr iv ing power making
t hem bounce. He bends for war d, t aking one int o his mout h,
and flicking t he t ip wit h his t ongue. I gr ind int o him har der ,
desper at e for mor e cont act .
A cur r ent builds, st ar t ing loose in my t or so and
condensing in my st omach. My lips par t t o accommodat e my
labor ed br eat h.
He pulls back, locks ey es wit h mine, and bit es his lip. My
hands sift t hr ough his hair and t o pull his mout h t o mine. A
gr oan r umbles in his chest . His finger s dig int o my bot t om,
t he pinch against t he sensit iv e flesh pushing me higher .
And like a light ning st r ike, Im hit . My insides, once
liquid, cr y st alize and shat t er in pulses of euphor ia. I t hr ow
my head back and moan. I fight t o st ay upr ight as my body
enjoy s t he blissful indulgence.
He collapses on t op of me befor e I feel his t eet h sink int o
my shoulder . I t ilt my head, and he gr oans against my skin,
his body jolt ing fr om t he power of his r elease.
My ar ms shake wit h t he r ev er ber at ions of my or gasm or
fr om t he st r ain of holding up our weight . He must sense my
st r uggle and lift s his body t o pull me t o his chest .
Jonah holds me close, r unning his finger s t hr ough my
hair while I come down and cat ch my br eat h. He places soft
kisses on my face befor e wer e dr awn t o our r eflect ion.
He smiles. That was hot .
I blush and agr ee. Blazing.
Im buy ing y ou a pair of t hose shoes in ev er y color t hey
make.
They r e 5 00 dollar s.
Make t hat t wo pair in ev er y color .
His expr ession is ser ious, and I bur st int o laught er . All of
t he st r ess and pr essur e Id been feeling fr om ear lier dissolv e t o
a dist ant memor y .
Wit h a small effor t , Jonah lift s me fr om t he count er and
places me on my wobbly legs. I look down and not ice his pant s
ar e st ill ar ound his ankles. He kicks t hem off and kneels in
fr ont of me. One by one, he slips off my shoes so t hat wer e
bot h st anding naked.
He pulls me int o his ar ms. You doing bet t er ?
Yeah. I chuckle, r emember ing t he st at e Jonah found me
in ear lier . Guess I just needed t he r elease.
His body shakes wit h silent laught er . What is it with his
sense of humor? I pull back enough t o show him my confusion.
Guess y ou got y our r elease t wice.
Jonah! I slap his ar m and my face flames.
Ow! His humor fades and somet hing ser ious wor ks
behind his ey es. I Hhat e seeing y ou like t hat .
It s okay
No. It s not . I cant wait for t his shit t o be ov er . For y ou t o
be fr ee of
I r est my cheek against his chest and sigh. Me t oo.
He r eaches ov er and flips on t he shower . The r oom fills
wit h st eam. Come on. Ill get y ou all cleaned up. We hav e a
big day t omor r ow.
Big day ?
His ey ebr ows hit his hair line.
My hand cov er s my mout h as r ealizat ion dawns.
Tomor r ow I meet his mom.
Twenty-six
Jonah
I t hink I might puke. Rav en r ubs her st omach, a
gr imace et ched int o her gor geous face. Shes made her self sick
wor r y ing about meet ing my mom. I couldnt ev en get her t o
eat br eakfast .
I wonder if any of her ner v es t his mor ning ar e left ov er
fr om her br eakdown last night . Id nev er seen a per son go
fr om r at -shit mad t o complet ely unglued. When I ov er hear d
her laughing in t he bat hr oom, I r ealized shed r eached her
br eaking point . I knew I needed t o br ing her backt o pull her
fr om her hy st er ics and place her gent ly back int o her skin.
Her skin.
My dick t wit ches at t he memor y of her slowly sliding off
t hat dr ess, each sliv er of delicat e flesh, beckoning for my
t oucht he way her body r esponded immediat ely t o t he
slight est br ush of my finger s, opening t o my unspoken
r equest . Er ot ic flashes of her legs wr apped ar ound my body
flood my mind. Heat r adiat es fr om t he r ed mar ks on my back
left by her shoes. Wat ching t he r eflect ion of our bodies
t angled t oget her is for ev er br anded int o my memor y .
A gr oan bubbles up fr om my t hr oat , and Rav en t ur ns her
at t ent ion t owar d me wit h nar r owed ey es, t hr owing me fr om
my sexy day dr eam. Her ey es get big at t he sound of a
mumbled v oice ov er t he air por t s loudspeaker .
What d he say ? Was t hat it ? Did t hey just announce her
flight ? I t hink t hat s her flight , she say s, her ey es dar t
ar ound t he baggage claim car ousel wher e wev e been wait ing
for t he last fift een minut es.
Rav en bounces on her t oes like a kid who has t o pee. My
lips pull up. May be y ou shouldnt hav e had t hat four t h cup
of coffee t his mor ning.
Shes not going t o like me. She pr obably want s y ou wit h
some sweet , homey gir l who, y ou know, bakes or lov es
scr apbooking, not a car mechanic who cant ev en micr owav e
popcor n. She looks ar ound like shes mapping out an escape.
You kick ass wit h a micr owav e, baby . Dont sell y our self
shor t .
She glar es at me, but her mout h t icks wit h t he shadow of
a smile.
Baby , shes going t o lov e y ou. Tr ust me. Now st op
jumping ar ound like a fucking pogo-st ick and come her e.
I t hr ow my ar m ov er her shoulder and she leans int o me.
Her muscles r elax as my finger s t r ace along her skin.
Excuse me, Assassin?
A t all, awkwar d boy in t he t hr oes of puber t y appr oaches
us.
Yeah.
He shuffles his feet and av oids my ey es. Hes t aller t han
Rav en, but lanky . His messy br own hair hangs ov er his
black-r immed glasses. Pr int ed in bold let t er s, his br ight
y ellow shir t r eads Stephen King is my Homeboy. I st ifle a
laugh.
I t hought it was y ou. He flips a pen in his hand. Im a
big fan. Iv e seen all y our fight s. His v oice cr acks. That t ake
down against Pit Bull Per ez in oh-nine was t he best Id ev er
seen. I know y our e going t o beat Del Tor o t omor r ow.
Rav en gasps, and her gr ip t ight ens on t he back of my
shir t .
I cant wait t o see t he look on Del Tor os face when y ou
hold up t hat belt .
You and me both, kid. Pr ide in my abilit y as a fight er , and
anger for my inabilit y t o pr ov e it , bat t le for dominance in my
head.
Thanks, man. I appr eciat e y our suppor t . This kids got
t he height and t he know-how. Fr om t he looks of his wor n
jeans, r at t y shoes, and ev er y t hing else, Id guess he get s his
fair shar e of assholes at school fucking wit h him. That s all
any good fight er needs. Fuel. You know y our st uff. Any
int er est in fight ing for t he UFL?
Humph, I wish. He shr ugs and r uns t he back of his
hand acr oss his for ehead, making his glasses lopsided. My
mom say s Im t oo weak for spor t s. He scr unches his nose t o
st r aight en t he fr ames on his face.
What ar e y ou? About a buck fift y ?
Just about .
You st ar t t r aining, pack on a lit t le muscle. Youd be a
per fect welt er weight .
His smile is so big t hat it looks as if it may br eak his face.
You r eally t hink so?
Think so? I know so.
Wow. Thanks, Assassin. He st ar es at me, but his glazed
ey es t ell me hes in his head. Pr obably pict ur ing himself as a
fight er fiv e y ear s down t he r oad. He blinks. Oh! Can I get
y our aut ogr aph?
He hands me a black shar pie mar ker and t ur ns ar ound,
mot ioning for me t o sign his t -shir t .
Sur e, what s y our name?
Killian.
No shit ? Gr eat name for a fight er .
Yeah. The backs of his ear s t ur n br ight r ed. It s Ir ish.
I wr it e a quick message on t he shoulder of his shir t .
Killer Killian,
No one dictates your f uture but you.
The Assassin
I pop on t he cap and hand Killian his pen.
Good luck t omor r ow night . He st ands a lit t le t aller , his
v oice mor e confident .
You st ar t t r aining, y ou hear me?
He smiles, nods, t hen t ur ns and walks away .
Rav ens head bur r ows deeper int o my chest . I
inst inct iv ely pull her closer . Her ar ms wr ap ar ound my waist
and shes no longer bouncing and jit t er y . That was sweet .
Your e gr eat wit h y our fans.
I kiss her head. Yeah, well, t hey v e been r eally good t o
me.
But will t hey ev er for giv e me for let t ing t hem down?
He seemed pr et t y confident t hat y oud win t he fight
t omor r ow. Her v oice is almost a whisper as her ar ms t ight en
ar ound my waist .
I school my v oice and t r y t o be as conv incing as I can.
Look, I dont want y ou t o wor r y about t his fight . Ev er y t hing
will go as planned. Ill get anot her shot at t he t it le in a y ear ,
may be t wo. It s just one fight . Okay ? The t r ut h is Im
disappoint ed I wont be dest r oy ing Del Tor o in fr ont of a liv e
audience t omor r ow. But in t his sit uat ion, t he pr ize for losing
out weighs t he heav y weight t it le.
I sear ch t he r oom again for my mom. We fall int o silence
for a few minut es unt il I spot a familiar smile in t he cr owd.
Ther e she is. I lift my chin in her dir ect ion.
Ohmy gosh, ohmy gosh, ohmy gosh. It seems Rav ens
calm demeanor was not hing mor e t han an int er mission.
Shes back t o bouncing.
Joey , my baby !
My mom r ushes t o us, dr opping her bags and t hr owing
her ar ms ar ound my waist . At a gener ous fiv e foot fiv e, shes
been hugging me ar ound t he waist since I was sixt een. It s
been a few mont hs since I saw her last , but she looks t he same:
Dar k hair wit hout a hint of gr ay , st y led t o per fect ion. Her
fashionable clot hes, pr ist ine makeup, and designer bag
making her seem y ounger t han her fift y -t hr ee y ear s. Yep,
hasnt changed a bit .
Mom. This is my gir l, Rav en. Rav en, t his is my mom.
Pulling back, she t akes a side st ep and gr abs bot h of
Rav ens hands. It s so nice t o meet y ou, Rav en. Your e just as
beaut iful as Joey descr ibed.
Nice t o meet y ou t oo, Mr s. Slade.
Please, call me Kat her ine.
Thank y ou, maam um, Kat her ine.
Wit h Rav ens hands st ill in her gr asp, my mom looks at
me. You did good, son. Shes beaut iful and polit e.
Yeah, she is. I shake my head. I st ill cant believ e y ou
t hought I was gay .
Rav en st ar es at me aghast while my mom shakes her
head and smiles.
Dr opping her hands, my mom slips her ar m int o t he cr ook
at Rav ens elbow. Come on, dear . Let me t ell y ou about t he
t ime when my Joey was four and he r an ar ound t he fr ont
y ar d naked pr et ending t o be a super her o called Super Weenie
Man.
Shit , Ma.
Rav en giggles.
Wat ch t hat mout h, Joey . Your e in t he pr esence of
ladies.
Gr abbing her bags, I walk behind t wo of t he t hr ee women
I lov e t he most in t he wor ld.
***
Jonah, wait up!
Im heading int o t he t r aining cent er , aft er dr opping my
mom and Rav en off at my house, when Blakes v oice causes
an about face. I hav e a quick t r aining session and a shor t
meet ing I need t o wr ap up so I can get back t o t hem for
dinner .
What s up, Blake?
Dude, we got pr oblems.
Wer e st anding on t he sidewalk out side t he t r aining
cent er s door s, and Blake looks ar ound like hes checking for
sniper s.
Ah, shit . What now?
Okay , I was at Zeuss last night and I ended up hooking
up wit h t his new gir l, Sher r y , or Ter r y Mar y ? His ey es go
sky war d as he scr at ches his cheek and shakes his head.
What ev er . She ment ioned t hat a guy
Zeuss? I t hought y ou t agged Camille last night ?
His body fr eezes. Camille! I cant believ e y ou unleashed
t hat cr azy He closes his ey es and r ubs his t emples as if t o
or ganize his t hought s. His ey es open and he glar es at me.
Wer e gonna t alk about t hat , but fir st t he st r ipper .
I nod, unable t o manage t he smile t hat is wr eaking hav oc
on my face. It s not oft en Blake has issues wit h gir ls.
So, t he st r ipper , he cont inues, t old me a guy named
Dominick had offer ed her a job as an escor t . I guess she
t hought t hat d impr ess me. He r olls his ey es. Any way , she
t old me a few of t he gir ls accept ed his offer and
You gonna get t o t he point wher e y ou t ell me what t he
fuck t his has t o do wit h me?
Dude, list en. And st op int er r upt ing. Shit . He folds his
ar ms acr oss his chest , hangs his head, and blows out a
fr ust r at ed br eat h. I asked her who accept ed his offer . She
said she wasnt sur e, but t hat mor e t han a few wer e
int er est ed.
So? I dont giv e a shit what Dominick does. As long as he
leav es Rav en out of it .
The new gir l t old me she ov er hear d a conv o in t he
dr essing r oom. Dominicks hir ing for a special job. One t hat
t akes place t he night of t he fight . At The Mandalay Bay
Ar ena. You t hink t hat shit s a coincidence?
May be he needs some fr esh gir ls for all t he high-r oller s
t hat ll be hit t ing up t he fight . Dominick has t o know bet t er
t han t o fuck wit h me on fight night . Im going t o be making
him a r ich man. Or , a r icher man.
Iv e got a r eally bad feeling about t his, Blake mumbles.
Ther es not hing I can say . This whole sit uat ion sucks. The
only t hought t hat br ings me peace is t hat , by Sunday , Rav en
will be all mine and we can mov e on wit h our liv es. I r ub my
ey es and pinch t he br idge of my nose t o soot he t he t hr obbing
headache t his conv er sat ion br ought on.
Remind me when I decide t o set t le down t o find a gir l
wit hout baggage. Pr efer ably one wit h no family . He holds up
his hand and st ar t s t icking off finger s wit h each st ipulat ion.
No kids, ex-husbands, psy cho dads, fucking skelet ons in t he
closet . None of t hat shit .
It s gonna t ake a special gir l t o put up wit h y our ass,
Blake. You got no r oom t o be picky .
Im ser ious, man. He point s at t he gr ound. Id r at her
st ay single my ent ir e life, banging any one who can keep up,
t han t ake on some chick wit h issues. You can t at t oo t hat on
my ass if y ou dont believ e me.
The ser ious mask on his face t ight ens int o a scowl. Oh,
and t hanks a lot for pushing t hat cr azy bit ch Camille on me
last night . I got her in t he elev at or , just about t o do her , and
y ou know what she said?
I shr ug. Im st ill pissed at t hat chick for upset t ing Rav en,
but I hav e t o giv e her cr edit for fr eaking Blake out .
She said if I want ed t o get up in t her e, I had t o pr ov e
my self. His v oice pit ches high. She said I had t o submit her
t o t he gr ound befor e shed let me fuck her . Im looking t o get
off, and she want s jiu-jit su for eplay . Who does t hat shit ?
Unable t o hold it in a second longer , laught er bur st s fr om
my mout h.
It s not funny , man. It s whacked. I had blue balls for t wo
hour s befor e Ker r i, or what ev er t he fuck her name was, at t he
st r ip club got me off.
I cant believ e y ou couldnt get a submission on a gir l.
May be t hey can open up a spot for y ou on t heir t eam. Teach
y ou a t hing or t wo.
Blakes look of disgust only makes me laugh har der .
Oh, r eal nice. Your e a dick, y ou know t hat ? He st omps
off and t hr ough t he door s.
~*~
Raven
So, Rav en, t ell me about y our family . Does y our mom
liv e her e in t own?
Wat er spews fr om my mout h. I choke and gasp for air .
Oh, goodness, honey , ar e y ou okay ? Kat her ine hands
me a disht owel and pat s me on t he back.
Shes been busy making dinner and filling me in on
Jonahs milest ones gr owing up. The subject change t ook me
by sur pr ise.
Yeah, Im good. Thank y ou. Just went down t he wr ong
pipe.
You scar ed me.
You t hink t hat scar ed y ou? Ask me again about my mom.
Im not happy about opening t he closet door s t o my soul
and r ev ealing my dar k secr et s t o t he one per son in t he wor ld I
want t o like me. But , I cant lie t o Jonahs mom eit her . Shes
going t o find out ev ent ually , and what will she t hink t hen? If
I plan on being a par t of Jonahs life, I need t o be honest ,
upfr ont . What s t hat say ing? The t r ut h will set y ou fr ee. More
like the truth will keep you single.
Shes cut t ing v eget ables, obliv ious t o t he fact t hat Im
about t o dr op a bomb dir ect ly on t o her sweet head. May be
shell for get if I change t he subject .
So, y ou wer e t elling me about y our par ent s?
Too lat e.
Ill t alk ar ound it . That will giv e her enough t o be
sat isfied, and I wont hav e t o t ell her t he ugly t r ut h.
My mom liv es in t own, y es, and so does my um my
dad. Say ing t he wor d makes me want t o spit t o clean out t he
dir t y .
Ar e t hey st ill mar r ied? Her quest ions ar e so casual and
ev er y day . Not hing mor e t han a lit t le small t alk wit h t he gir l
whos dat ing her son. Boy, is she in for a surprise.
Just get it ov er wit h! It ll be easier t hat way .
I bit e my lip, wor king up my ner v e. Uh, no, t hey wer e
nev er , um, mar r ied.
This sucks.
Oh, t hat s t oo bad. What do t hey do? For wor k? Her ey es
ar e fixed on t he t ask befor e her , chopping and dumping int o a
bowl.
My mom is in sales. Please, let that be enough. My
st omach chur ns. This alr eady feels like a lie.
What does she sell?
My shoulder s slump in defeat . Might as well get it ov er
wit h. I check t he clock on t he micr owav e. Jonah should be
home soon. I wish he wer e her e now.
Her self. My mom is a call gir l.
Her chopping ceases and she t ur ns t owar d me, the
quest ion bur ning in her ey es. Call center gir l?
I scr ub my face wit h my hand. Call gir l.
Kat her ines knife dr ops on t he count er wit h a clang. Her
ey es ar e huge and her mout h mov es, but no sound comes out .
Im not finished y et . Her pimp well, hes my my uh
he got her pr egnant .
She adds head shaking t o t he list of silent r esponses.
I dont or , um, nev er had a r elat ionship wit h eit her of
t hem. I exhale a long br eat h.
Ther e. I did it .
My t eet h r ake ov er my lower lip. I count t he t iles on t he
floor . Silent seconds t ick. I pr epar e for t he speech about my
being t r ash and no good for her son. I st r aight en my spine,
r eady for her at t ack on my char act er . Dr agging my ey es t o
meet her s, I lur ch in shock.
Her ey es ar e t he exact shade of Jonahs. And just like
Jonah, filled wit h compassion. Not judgment . I r elax a
fr act ion under t heir gaze.
That s an incr edible st or y . Her v oice is gent le and calms
my ner v es. You must hav e been t hr ough a lot gr owing up. I
cant imagine what it must hav e been like for y ou. She picks
up my hand and holds it in her s. You know what y ou ar e,
Rav en?
I shake my head no, fear ing t hat my v oice will br eak t he
consoling cocoon her wor ds pr ov ide. Im desper at e t o know.
What am I?
Your e like t hat single wild flower t hat gr ows fr om t he
cr ack in t he pav ement : mir aculous gr owt h wit h no wat er
sour ce or fer t ile soil. A per son walking by would st ep ar ound
t hat flower t o av oid cr ushing it . It s not like t he field of wild
flower s y ou t r omp t hr ough car elessly , cr ushing t hem under
y our feet , knowing t hat t he next day will br ing a hundr ed
mor e.
She pauses t o place her hand on my cheek. Youv e
managed a life t hr ough y our obst acles. It may be a lonely life,
but a life nonet heless. Sur v iv ing is not hing t o be ashamed of.
It s somet hing t o be proud of.
She sees me as wor t hy . Not a weight in Jonahs life, but
special. A mir acle.
I want t o expr ess what her wor ds mean t o me, but cant
or ganize my emot ions fast enough. Tear s pool in my ey es. I
blink, and t hey ov er flow as her speech r uns on r epeat in my
head, leeching out t he poison left behind in my soul.
She br ings a kit chen t owel t o my face and wipes my t ear s.
Her kind smile is mor e t han I can handle and I sob.
Oh, honey . She pulls me int o her ar ms. Im complet ely
lost in her embr ace. She holds me t ight , speaking wor ds int o
my hair about st r engt h and r elease.
My cheek pr esses int o her shoulder , soaking her shir t wit h
my t ear s. I st ar t le when a pair of st r ong ar ms pull me away
fr om her . So deep in my sor r ow, I didnt hear him come in.
The familiar smell of cit r us and spice r elax my muscles, and I
bur y my self int o Jonahs chest .
Mom. What t he fuck happened? Anger laces his v oice.
I cant see Kat her ines face, but her whisper ed, It s okay ,
Joey has him r elaxing against me. He t akes a deep br eat h
and holds me unt il I calm.
Baby ? He kisses my head and r ubs my back.
I lean away fr om Jonah, but he keeps his ar ms t ight ly
ar ound my waist . I wipe my face, feeling exposed and
embar r assed. Sor r y . It s st upid
No, Rav en, dont do t hat . Dont belit t le y our st r engt h
wit h embar r assment . You hav e not hing t o be ashamed of.
Kat her ines ey es ar e wet wit h t ear s.
I nod and simply say t he only t hing I can, Thank y ou,
Kat her ine.
St ar ing at Jonahs neck, Im unable t o lift my gaze,
fear ing what I might see in his ey es.
Hey . Look at me.
I br av e a glance.
Hes smiling t ender ly , br inging for t h bot h dimples. You
okay ?
I nod.
Right . He kisses my lips, t hen t he t ip of my nose, and
finally my for ehead.
My son is lucky t o hav e y ou, Rav en. Im v er y pr oud of
him, and Im equally pr oud of y ou.
War mt h floods my chest , flowing int o my cheeks and
pulling on my lips. I look fr om Kat her ine t o Jonah.
You gir ls hav e fun t oday ? He doesnt t ake his ey es fr om
mine. His v oice is soft and I appr eciat e t he change t o a
happier subject .
We hang out in t he kit chen while Kat her ine put s t he
finishing t ouches on dinner . Jonah st eals pieces of food off t he
count er and she slaps his hand. For t he fir st t ime, I see Jonah
as a boy while he play fully t eases his mom. I laugh as she
r epr imands him for dr inking milk st r aight fr om t he car t on.
She fills him in on his sist er and her husband. He laughs at
t he st or ies about his nephews get t ing int o t r ouble.
Im not hing mor e t han a spect at or t o t his beaut iful
display of family . I wat ch in silence as env y piggy backs my
happiness.
Aft er a delicious meal, I excuse my self t o clean t he
kit chen so Jonah and his mom can hav e some t ime alone.
Dr y ing t he last dish and put t ing it away , I head st r aight t o
Jonahs gar age for some quiet t ime wit h t he Impala.
Wit h my hair pulled back, I plug t he iPod int o t he dock
and allow t he music t o wash t hr ough my body , t aking wit h it
t he mult it ude of conflict ed emot ions t umbling in my chest .
Some of t he music fr om Jonahs iPod is familiar , but one
song cat ches my at t ent ion. I r ead t he name on t he scr een as
Halo by Bey once. It seems Bey once knows a t hing or t wo
about my sit uat ion, as her wor ds become my hear t s ant hem.
I put t he song on r epeat and t ur n back t o t he car t o bur y
my self in wor k.
Lost in t he combinat ion of my wor k and t he music, I jump
at t he sound of t he door opening. How long hav e I been in
her e?
I knew Id find y ou her e. He wr aps me in a hug. His
body is war m and comfor t ing.
I want ed t o giv e y ou and y our mom some t ime alone. I
t hought Id come out her e unt il she went t o bed.
He sit s on t he hood of t he Impala, pr opping his heels on
t he bumper and pulling me bet ween his legs.
My mom is in lov e wit h y ou. He t ucks a loose st r and of
hair behind my ear . She flat out t old me t hat if I didnt
mar r y y ou shed disown me. I t hink she likes y ou mor e t han
she likes me.
My cheeks war m. Shes incr edible, Jonah.
Im glad y ou t hink so. You know, I was kinda hoping t hat
someday shed be y our mot her -in-law.
My ey es flash t o his and a slow smile pulls at my lips. Holy
crud. Is he asking what I t hink hes asking?
Whaddy a say ? You feel like dr oppin Mor r et t i for good?
Twenty-seven
Jonah
Im not br eat hing. Im wait ing.
Shes st ar ing at me like I spr out ed hor ns and a t ail.
I just asked her t o mar r y me. Sur e it wasnt y our
candlelight dinner , down on one knee, shed a t ear kind of
pr oposal. But it was a pr oposal. I dont know what came ov er
me. It just came out . I dont r egr et t he wor ds, but fuck. What
kind of a dick asks his gir lfr iend t o mar r y him in his gar age? I
dont ev en hav e a r ing.
Iv e known for a while now t hat I want ed t o spend t he r est
of my life wit h her . I just hav ent been able t o focus on t hat .
It s been mor e impor t ant t hat I focus on our immediat e fut ur e
and t he fight .
But now, not hings as impor t ant as her answer . Why isnt
she say ing any t hing?
I r each out and cup her face, r unning my t humb along
her lower lip. Baby ?
Her ey ebr ows pinch t oget her . Not a good sign.
Wit h a few r apid blinks, she focuses on me. What if y ou
win t omor r ow night ?
Ah, fuck. Not t his again.
No mat t er how many t imes I assur e her t hat I can t hr ow
t his fight , shes nev er t ot ally conv inced.
I t old y ou Id lose it . I mean it . Now leav e it alone. My
wor ds ar e t er se and power ed by ir r it at ion. I dont mean t o be
r ude, but fuck. I just pr oposed, and t his is t he shit she want s t o
t alk about ?
I push bot h hands t hr ough my hair and t ake a deep
br eat h. Her soft hand br ushes my cheek. I look at her , my jaw
cr amping and ey es nar r owing. She jumps, but quickly
r ecov er s, and places a linger ing kiss on my cheek.
I believ e y ou can lose t he fight , I do. But what if I say Ill
mar r y y ou and t hen somet hing happens? Somet hing t er r ible,
like y ou get hit t oo har d and flip t he swit ch on Del Tor o? Or
what if, I dont know, he does somet hing t o for feit t he fight ?
You want t o mar r y a pr ost it ut e? You want t o shar e y our wife
wit h t he wealt hy men of Las Vegas?
I gr imace at t he t hought . No, I wont shar e my wife wit h
ot her men. Id fucking kill any man who came near her wit h
t hose int ent ions.
Her expr ession goes soft and she nods. That s what I
t hought . So what ar e our opt ions? We could r un, t ake off, liv e
out our mar r ied day s mov ing fr om place t o place t il deat h
do us par t .
She br ings bot h hands up t o cup my face. You deser v e
bet t er t han t hat , Jonah. Your mom deser v es bet t er t han
t hat .
I dont want t o liv e wit hout y ou. Emot ions sur ge wit hin
me making my v oice r ough.
A single t ear t r ails down her cheek, bet r ay ing her smile.
And I dont want t o liv e wit hout y ou. Of cour se, I want t o
spend t he r est of my life wit h y ou. Her expr ession har dens.
But I dont want t o t alk about t he fut ur e. Not unt il we know,
wit h one-hundr ed-per cent cer t aint y , t hat we hav e one.
So t hat s a y es. Right ? A may be? Shit .
Not hing will keep me fr om y ou. I know what s going t o
happen t omor r ow night . But if t hings dont go as planned, Ill
t ake y ou away . Liv ing a life on t he r un is bet t er t han liv ing a
life wit hout y ou. I wr ap my hand ar ound t he nape of her
neck and pull her face close t o mine. No one can keep us
apar t .
I lov e y ou, Jonah. Her hands r un down my shoulder s,
and chest , set t ling on my abdomen.
My blood r oar s fr om t he heat of her t ouch. I need her t o
under st and t hat her life means mor e t han my own. Id giv e it
all away : ev er y dr eam, ev er y accomplishment . Ev er y t hing
for her .
Wit h a gent le t ug, I t ilt her head and hold her lips mer e
cent imet er s fr om mine. She closes her ey es and leans in for a
kiss. I fist her hair t ight er , holding her in place. A moan
v ibr at es deep in her t hr oat . We swallow each ot her s br eat h
fr om our par t ed lips. Elect r icit y buzzes bet ween us. My t eet h
scr ape against my lower lip wit h t he ur ge t o t ake her mout h.
Her ey es dilat e and her br eat h quickens.
She shift s and st eps closer . The side of my mout h cur ls
int o a half smile. My gir l. Alway s so anxious and r eady .
She licks her full lips. Our mout hs ar e so close I can almost
t ast e t he moist ur e her t ongue left behind.
Jonah
Baby , y ou look so sexy r ight now.
She closes her ey es at my whisper ed wor ds. I hold on
t ight er .
Holding y ou like t his, put t ing y ou close t o what y ou
want . It s hot , baby . You shift and r ub y our t highs t oget her
like y our e t r y ing t o put out a fir e.
She sucks her bot t om lip int o her mout h.
You pr ess int o me, like y our e hoping our bodies will melt
t oget her .
A whimper escapes her lips.
Mmm. Lov e t hat sound. I flex my hips int o her st omach.
Her ey es shoot open and plead wit h me t o end t o her
suffer ing. Pissed or begging, smiling or cr y ing, my gir l is
damn sexy .
My gir l.
Dominicks wor ds echo in my head. I take care of what s
mine. His? The fuck she is. I dont car e what I hav e t o do
t omor r ow night t o make it happen, but I will walk out of t hat
ar ena wit h Rav en under my ar m and our ent ir e fut ur e ahead
of us.
I lean for war d and br ush my lips soft ly against her
for ehead. Her ey es flut t er closed. I br ush my lips against each
of her ey elids, t aking my t ime t o sav or t he soft pear scent of
her hair . Finally , my lips hov er ov er her s.
Your e mine, baby . Alway s.
Pr omise me. Our mout hs ar e so close, her lips br ush
against mine wit h her wor ds.
My chest cr amps at t he desper at ion in her v oice. I
pr omise.
And t hat s all I can t ake.
I cov er her lips wit h mine, and she immediat ely opens t o
me. Our t ongues glide t oget her in gent le st r okes. I gr ab her
hair , t ilt her head, and delv e in deeper . Soft , wet , and
delicious. A gr oan pushes up fr om my chest and she t akes it
wit h an answer ing moan.
My ass plant ed on t he hood of t he Impala, I use my
lev er age t o pull her t ight bet ween my legs. Her hands slide
under t he legs of my shor t s and up my t highs. She pushes her
soft finger s under t he hem of my boxer s and my hips r oll int o
her t ouch. I let go of her hair wit h one hand and snake my
ar m behind her back.
I lov e y ou. A st or m of emot ion and hunger swir l in my
chest , making my declar at ion come out on a gr owl.
I lov e y ou.
She pushes her hands t he ext r a few inches t o my
t hr obbing har d-on. The muscles in my st omach cont r act as
her t ouch sends wav es of pleasur e up my spine. Wit h bot h
hands, she gr abs hold and st r okes. Im light headed. Her gr ip
t ight ens as I r ub and t ease her br east s ov er her shir t . I want
t o go soft . Be gent le. But my hands claw at her clot hes, it ching
t o get t o her skin.
Closer .
I br eak t he kiss, gr ab t he hem of her gr ay t ank t op, and
pull it ov er her head. My ey es go wide at her br ight r ed, lace
br a. Fuckin hell.
I slide off t he hood of t he car , mesmer ized by her br east s as
t hey st r ain against t heir lace cage. My hands cup her and
squeeze gent ly . Her head falls back on a moan. I r un my
t humbs acr oss her nipples wat ching how t hey r eact beneat h
t he fabr ic.
My hands t r av el down her t ight , flat st omach t o t he
waist band on her shor t s. Wit h a swift t ug, I pop t he but t on
and open t o what I know is mat ching lace pant ies.
Rav en shift s her hips and slides her shor t shor t s down her
long, t an legs. My head t ilt s as I t ake in her body fr om head t o
t oe. Each sliv er of soft skin, ev er y cur v e of decadent flesh, all
per fect and mine in ev er y way . My ey es linger on t he par t s of
her body I want t o get t o fir st , cov er ed in r ed lace. I lick my
lips.
Your t ur n. She mot ions t o my shir t wit h a t ilt of her
head.
I want her hands on me. Uh-uh. You do it .
Her ey elids ar e heav y ov er blue-gr een pools of liquid heat .
She slips her hands beneat h my shir t , ey es locked on mine.
Her finger nails dr ag against my skin as she r uns her hands
up t o my chest . I suck air t hr ough clenched t eet h as t he bit e
of her nails sends pleasur e st r aight down. I r aise my ar ms and
bend for her t o pull my shir t off ov er my head.
The weight of her st ar e on my naked t or so shoot s heat
t hr ough my v eins. She r uns her hand along my ar m t o my
shoulder while her ot her hand glides down t o t he but t on of
my shor t s. She st ops t her e and slips her finger s inside t he
waist band of my boxer br iefs, br ushing against t he t ip of my
dick. My head falls back on a gr oan. Im going t o explode if I
dont get inside her soon. I r each down t o undo my pant s.
Her hand cov er s mine and she pushes up on her t ipt oes,
placing her lips against my neck. No, I got it .
Soft , wet lips par t at my neck as she licks and nips while
unbut t oning my shor t s. They fall t o t he gr ound and I kick
t hem off. I pr ess her back against t he Impala, placing her
sexy , lace-clad ass on t he hood. She lift s an ey ebr ow in
quest ion, but her cr ooked smile t ells me she knows exact ly
what s about t o happen.
She leans back, r est ing her weight against her elbows. I
pin her wit h my ey es, plant my knee bet ween her legs, and
climb up.
~*~
Raven
His body cov er s mine, pushing me back. My st omach
jumps at t he t hought of our naked bodies t angled t oget her
sur r ounded by t he smell of oil and r ubber . This scenar io has
r un t hr ough my head a few t imes since I st ar t ed wor king
wit h Jonah. I r est my heels on t he bumper as Jonah cov er s
my face, neck, and shoulder s wit h hot , wet kisses.
A fant asy come t o life.
Just like his spont aneous pr oposal. Not at some r omant ic
beach locale or in some cr owded r est aur ant . But her e, in my
sanct uar y . No cheesy sonnet s r ead down on one knee or ev en
a r ing. I dont need t hat . Any of it . All I need is him.
Sucking and nibbling, he makes his way down t o my
br east . He cont inues lapping at my skin befor e pulling my
flesh int o his mout h ov er my br a. The combinat ion of his
war m t ongue and t he fr ict ion fr om t he lace make my back
ar ch, pushing me fur t her int o his t ouch.
No one has ev er claimed me like he hasst ood his gr ound,
willing t o fight , just so he could hav e me. Our fut ur e depends
on t hat fight . I may lose my fut ur e. I wont t ake his down
wit h me.
His at t ent ion shift s fr om my br east s, and he kisses down
my body . My knees fall apar t . He set t les himself bet ween my
legs, t easing my inner t high wit h his t ongue. I dont know
what s going t o happen t omor r ow night , but for now, t onight ,
I am his and he is mine.
Complet ely .
Wit h one finger , he t r aces t he seam of my pant ies fr om
my hip down. He slides t he delicat e fabr ic t o t he side and,
wit hout hesit at ion, div es in. A gr oan r umbles in t he back of
my t hr oat . He slides bot h hands beneat h my but t , pushing
me deeper int o his mout h. I r ock my hips against him, unable
t o st ay st ill.
My body ignit es at his at t ent ion. Wit h t he slight est t ouch
he br ings comfor t and, wit h a lit t le mor e, int ense ecst asy . But
t his t ime t her es an ext r a lay er of emot ion. Belonging.
A power ful ur ge t o bond r ocket s t hr ough my v eins.
Power , need, passion all mix int o a pot ent cockt ail and Im
ov er come wit h desir e t o t ake him. I use my foot t o push his
shoulder back. He looks up at me, ey ebr ows pinched, hands
up in sur r ender . Somet hing t hat looks like concer n et ched in
his face.
I want t o giv e him a r eassur ing smile. Let him know t hat
ev er y t hings okay , but animalist ic y ear ning wins out .
Wit h a quick flip of my t humb, I unhook my br a, sliding
t he st r aps down my ar ms and t ossing it acr oss t he r oom. I lie
back and lift my hips t o r id my self of my pant ies. His ey es go
dar k, for ehead dr opped so hes looking at me fr om beneat h his
t hick ey elashes.
If I dont mov e fast , hes going t o pounce.
Hopping fr om t he hood, I r each for t he waist band of his
boxer s. He wat ches as I slide t he cot t on down his sculpt ed
t highs t o his ankles, wher e he kicks t hem t o t he side. In a
cr ouch on t he floor , I t ake adv ant age of my posit ion and t ake
him deep int o my mout h.
Aww, damn. He gr oans and r akes bot h hands int o my
hair .
I look up fr om my posit ion on t he gr ound and wat ch t he
r ipples of his muscles cont r act wit h ev er y t hr ust of my
mout h. Her e on my knees, in a posit ion of submission, Iv e
nev er felt mor e power ful. His body r esponds t o ev er y flick of
my t ongue, ev er y pull of my mout h. My hear t swells wit h t he
lov e I see in his face as he looks down at me.
Baby , enough. He hauls me t o my feet .
My hands on his chest , I pr ess him back t o sit on t he hood
of t he car . Hes st r onger t han I am and capable of pr ot est ing,
but he allows my cont r ol. And if Im not mist aken, I t hink it s
t ur ning him on.
Wit h his back against t he hood, I climb abov e his body ,
and st r addle his hips. He cups my br east s. I giv e him a
moment t o play befor e I t ake his wr ist s in my hands and push
t hem abov e his head. He smiles at me as if my at t empt at
dominat ion is cut e. I giv e him t he wet t est , sexiest kiss I can
must er , wiping t hat smile r ight off his gor geous face.
Fuck, baby . He r uns a hand t hr ough my hair t o r est at
my t hr oat . Your e amazing. My sexy , shy gir l one minut e,
sex cr azed v ixen t he
I t ake him in my hand, lift up on my knees, and bur y
him. He gr oans so deeply it v ibr at es our connect ion.
Mine. My possessiv e claim t aper s off int o a moan.
And wit h t hat , my dominance is ov er . His hands t angle
int o my hair and his back leav es t he car . His kiss is deep,
pr ov ing t he wor d Iv e just said.
Yes. Im y our s.
Exult ant t ear s bur n t he behind my ey es. I fight t o hold
t hem back. My hips r oll in wav es and Jonah mat ches my
pace. I kiss his jaw, neck, and shoulder , pushing him back
against t he hood. Br acing my hands on his br awny chest , I
t hr ust har der , pr essing down deep, r eaching.
Your e so beaut iful, baby . I lov e wat ching when Im
inside y ou.
Im bey ond wor ds as pleasur e coils in my belly . His
t hr ust s become ur gent and power ful, spur r ing on my fr enzy .
My body is ov er flowing wit h sensat ions, begging for r elease.
His ey es spar k beneat h heav y lids. Let y our self go,
baby .
My body obey s his command. Tiny explosions fir e fr om
low in my belly and shoot up my spine. I gr ip his shoulder s
and t hr ow my head back. He holds my hips st eady as
r ev er ber at ions r ock t hr ough my limbs.
Lost in t he foggy aft er shocks of my climax, our posit ions
flip. I lie flat on my back on t he hood of t he car , and absor b
t he heat fr om wher e Jonahs body was. My heels br ace on t he
bumper , my knees fall open. I br ing t hem back up, but lack
t he st r engt h t o keep t hem t her e.
Jonah leans down and dr ops a t ender kiss on my lips. I kiss
him back wit h lazy st r okes of my t ongue.
He st r aight ens and gr ips my hips. Ent r anced, I wat ch t he
slashes of his muscles r oll as he finds his r elease. He bit es his
lip, and I gasp at t he blissful pinch of his finger s digging int o
my skin.
His pace quickens moment s befor e he gr oans my name.
Goose bumps r ace acr oss t he planes of his chest and ecst asy
floods his face. He slows t o a glide, sending delicious sensat ions
t o my belly . He falls for war d, br aces himself wit h his ar ms,
and kisses me.
This kiss isnt fast or deep, not a beginning t o a desper at e
end. His lips ar e fir m, molding against mine. We explor e each
ot her s mout hs in t ender st r okes. Pat ient and meaningful,
expr essing t he lov e bet ween us wit h ev er y swipe and passing
nip.
He br eaks t he kiss and looks at me. His ey ebr ows knit
t oget her and he looks ov er his shoulder .
How many t imes has t his song play ed?
My face heat s as I t r y t o t hink of a way t o get out of
hav ing t o explain my song choice and t he fact t hat it s been
on r epeat .
Your iPod must be br oken. I accident ly hit a but t on. I
dont know why t he same song keeps play ing. Remember , I
only own t apes. The list of excuses keeps gr owing. I set t le on
indiffer ence. I t hink it s Bey once. I shr ug.
His ey es nar r ow at me. Darn it! He sees r ight t hr ough me
ev er y t ime.
Yes, I know who it is. I r emember put t ing it on t he iPod
for y ou. His ey es dar t t o t he side as he list ens t o t he wor ds.
He hit s me wit h t he deadly one-dimple smile. I guess y ou like
it ?
I nod and t ur n my face away . Av oiding his ey es will help
t he r ed color ing my cheeks t o fade.
I like t his song. It
It what ?
The soft ness in his v oice t ells me hes well awar e of why I
like it . Why does he need t o hear me say it ?
I exhale a heav y br eat h and meet his ey es. It r eminds
me of y ou. Your e my sav ing gr ace, Jonah. My angel. I
wiggle my ar ms bet ween our bodies and cr oss t hem ov er my
chest . Happy ?
His t easing smile dissolv es. His dimple is r eplaced by a
slight t ick in his jaw. He doesnt look angr y . Mor e like,
confused.
I feel st upid and exposed aft er my sappy comment . Can
we go inside now? I hope t o get t hat int ense look off his face or
at least get me out fr om under it .
He blinks and his expr ession soft ens. It s funny , t his
t hing bet ween us. He flicks his finger back and for t h fr om
me t o him. Ev er y concer n or emot ion we feel, it s mut ual.
He laughs in a shor t bur st . Her e y our e t hinking Im sav ing
y ou, when all t his t ime it s been you who sav ed me.
My hear t swells t o t he point t hat Im choking on it . Jonah

I was cold. Dead on t he inside fr om t he t ime I hear d about

my dads accident . Nev er felt any t hing out side of kicking ass
or a killer hit in t he oct agon. Fight ing gav e me my br eat h,
but y ou br ought me back t o life.
I whimper and cov er my mout h.
This whole t ime I t hought I was liv ing. But t he day I met
y ou, t he light s came on. You fill me wit h t hings I t hought Id
nev er feel again. His hand t ugs my at my wr ist , fr eeing my
gaping mout h. He kisses my lower lip. Your e my angel,
baby .
Wit h my wor ld split in t wo, ult imat e dev ast at ion r uns
par allel t o blessed elat ion. And Im st uck in bet ween. My
fut ur e uncer t ain, st ar ing int o t he hazel ey es of ev er y t hing
Iv e ev er dr eamed about . And mor e. Mor e t han I deser v e, but
Im t aking it .
Ill hold on wit h a gr ip so t ight , t hat ev en if t hey t ake my
body , t hey ll nev er t ake Jonah fr om my hear t .
Twenty-eight
Raven
What r e y ou doing her e, Ray ? Leo walks int o Guy s
office as Im put t ing my st uff in a locker . Thought y oud be
spending t he day wit h y our man. Big fight t onight .
I suck in a shaky br eat h. Big fight is r ight . That s why Im
her e on my day off. Jonah has t o go t o t he t r aining cent er ,
and t her e isnt enough wor k left t o do on t he Impala t o keep
my head in a good place unt il t onight .
Nah. Hes got official UFL st uff t o do all day . Im going t o
meet up wit h him aft er t he fight . I put on my most
unaffect ed face and st r oll past Leo int o t he gar age. What
hav e we got ? I mot ion t o t he few car s in t he bay .
You can r un a diagnosis on t he Tahoe. Said it s making
some clinking noise. Check t he alt er nat or . He goes back t o
wor king on a Toy ot a.
Gr eat est t hing about wor king wit h guy s, t hey nev er ask
t oo many quest ions.
I st ar t wor k on t he Tahoe, my hands mov ing t hr ough t he
pr ocedur es, but my head wr apped up in t onight . Flut t er s of
ner v ous ener gy t ur n my st omach and t ight en my chest . My
phone r ings in my pocket , making me jump t hr ee feet in t he
air , and ear ning me a lowbr ow look fr om Leo.
Hey , Ev e. I gr eet my fr iend loud enough for Leo t o hear .
He r olls his ey es and disappear s back beneat h t he hood of t he
car .
Rav e. Ugh, Im so pissed r ight now. Her v oice sounds
genuinely pissed, and shes huffing and puffing like shes just
r un a mar at hon.
Why ? Ar e y ou okay ? I head back t o Guy s office, close
t he door , and flop down in his chair .
Hillar y came in t wo night s ago wit h t he st omach flu. I
t old her t o t ake t he night off, but did she list en? Noooo. She
gr unt s loudly and I hear somet hing heav y dr op. So her e I
am, for t y -eight hour s lat er wit h six, six people shor t for
dinner ser v ice t onight . On one of t he busiest night s of t he
summer .
I know wher e t his conv er sat ion is going. My ner v ous
flut t er t ur ns int o a t hr obbing pound. Shes not coming.
I hav e t o wor k. Ther es no way ar ound it .
Dar n it .
I under st and. It s a bummer , but y our e t he manager .
What can y ou do?
Um I could kill t hat bit ch Hillar y for st ar t er s. Mor e
banging.
What ar e y ou doing? It sounds like y our e t r ashing y our
house.
Oh, what am I doing? Her v oice is high and dr ipping in
sar casm. Im set t ing up t he bar . By my self! I hav e one
bar t ender t onight . One! Man, I need a dr ink.
I r ub my for ehead. How am I going t o get t hr ough t his
night wit hout my best fr iend?
Wher es t he aft er par t y ? Her quest ion get s my
at t ent ion.
Aft er par t y ?
Well, y eah. Duh. The heav y weight champion t hr ows an
aft er par t y following a big win. Jeez, Rav e, how long hav e
y ou liv ed in t his t own?
Right . Um okay . Ther e will be no big win, t her efor e,
no aft er par t y , but she doesnt need t o know t hat .
Ill be off by elev en. Text me and Ill meet y ou guy s out .
Just make sur e t o hav e Mr . Pecs-n-Abs put me on t he list .
Her ment ion of being put on t he list r eminds me of Vince.
Hey , hav e y ou hear d fr om Vince?
Her t hr oat clear s followed by an ev en bigger bang t hat
has me pulling t he phone fr om my ear . Nope.
One wor d answer . Tr anslat ion: I don t want to talk about
it.
You okay ?
Fine.
One wor d again.
Ill t ext y ou aft er t he fight .
Sounds good. And Rav e, Im r eally sor r y .
No wor r ies. Ill see y ou t onight .
I end t he call as a new lay er of dr ead falls on my
shoulder s. At least Ill hav e Kat her ine t her e wit h me. Hes
going t o lose t his fight . Ev er y one will be dev ast at ed, but at
least Ill be fr ee for us t o be t oget her . That s all t hat mat t er s.
I punch out a quick t ext t o Jonah.
Eve called. Emergency at work. Shes not going to make it.
Im holding t he phone in my hand when it chimes seconds
lat er . New t ext .
Sorry, baby. Ask Guy? xJ
I nev er t hought t o ask Guy . Hed lov e t o go t o a UFL
championship fight , and Id lov e t he ext r a suppor t , ev en if he
has no clue what s at st ake.
Great idea! I love you.
Im alr eady dialing Guy s phone number fr om t he gar age
line when my phone chimes again.
His ticket will be at will call. See you in a few hours. I love you
more. xJ
~*~
Jonah
My dr iv e t o t he UFL Tr aining Cent er is silent . Usually on
fight day , I sur r ound my self wit h deep, bass-hit t ing music. It
alway s helps me t o get pumped up, r eady t o dest r oy my
opponent . Not t oday . Im lost in t he weight of my t hought s.
My st r at egies for t he fight play in my head on an endless loop.
St ay away fr om t he jaw. Take him t o t he gr ound, lock
him down. Keep mov ing. Do not get hit in t he face.
My pulse pounds wit h adr enaline for t he fight . But
t onight Im amped for a differ ent r eason.
Aft er t onight , t his mess wit h Dominick will be ov er .
Rav en will be fr ee and clear t o liv e a long happy life.
That s if I av oid flipping t he swit ch. Iv e nev er , not once,
been able t o cont r ol it fr om happening. A gr oan r umbles in
my chest . Ther es t oo much on t he line for me t o doubt
my self. I will cont r ol it t onight .
Befor e I know it , Im pulling int o t he lot at t he t r aining
cent er . I jump out of t he t r uck and head t o t he door in a daze.
My head is a whir lwind. I focus on my pr e-fight checklist t o
keep my mind off t he emot ion.
Weigh-in, st r at egy meet ing, war m up, ar ena.
I quicken my pace t hr ough t he par king lot as a few
phot ogr apher s snap pict ur es.
Assassin, y ou r eady for t he fight t onight ? The r epor t er
has a micr ophone at t he end of his out st r et ched ar m.
Wit h a t ug t o dr op my baseball hat lower , I ignor e him
and keep walking.
Is it t r ue t hat fight er s nev er hav e sex befor e a big fight ?
anot her r epor t er shout s.
Fucking idiot s.
Do y ou hav e a lucky char m of some kind? Dir t y socks or
a jock st r ap?
Do t hey r eally expect me t o st op and giv e t hem an
answer ? I for ce a smile t heir way , pulling off a sneer at best .
Pushing t hr ough t he door s, Im hit wit h cold air t hat
pr ickles my skin. Blakes sit t ing alone in t he lobby , obv iously
wait ing for me.
Blake.
He st ands and meet s me halfway t o t he hall. His ey es
wor k t he r oom befor e coming back t o me. You r eady for t his
shit , man?
I nod.
All r ight , dude. I got y our back. We do t his as planned,
shouldnt be any pr oblems. Your e home in bed wit h y our
gir l, naked if y our e lucky , by midnight .
A gr in pulls at my lips. Got it .
Blake dr ops his signat ur e cr ooked smile and his jaw goes
har d, ey ebr ows dr opped low. Let s fucking do t his shit !
He claps me on t he shoulder and leads t he way int o t he
locker r oom. My ent ir e t eam is t her e huddled in t he back,
wait ing. Im gr eet ed wit h fist bumps and chin lift s.
Guilt eat s away at my insides. My cr ew has wor ked just as
har d as I hav e t o get me t his fight . They v e t r ained wit h me
non-st op, t aken punches, suffer ed injur ies, all for me. Im
let t ing t hem down by not going out t her e and giv ing it my
all.
I sit on a bench, elbows on my knees, focusing on t he
gr ound. I for ce my self t o pull an image of Rav en t o t he
for efr ont of my mind: her wide, innocent , aquamar ine ey es.
That s it . I need t o keep my mind r ight her e.
You r eady ? Owen say s as he plops down at my side.
Ready as Ill ev er be. I fix my ey es t o t he floor . It s a dick
mov e, but Im hoping he br ushes it off t o me get t ing in t he
zone.
Good enough. Let s war m y ou up and get y ou t o weigh-
in.
My body mov es t hr ough all of t he pr e-fight bullshit , but
my mind is absent . I pop in my ear buds and list en t o music,
ment ally walking my self t hr ough ev er y r ound. The guy s
dont t alk t o me much, only dir ect me wher e t o go and what
t o do. Ev er y now and t hen I cat ch a look fr om Blake. His jaw
set , ey es cold, but knowing. We seem t o shar e t he same
t hought . Let s get t his shit done.
We load up int o a whit e v an and head t o t he ar ena. The
st r eet s ar e lined wit h t our ist s, fans, and papar azzi. Im
gr at eful for t he dar k, t int ed windows and t he inconspicuous
car t hat allows us t hr ough wit hout hassle. The dr iv er av oids
t he fr ont ent r ance and t ur ns down a r amp t o a pr iv at e
par king gar age wher e he par ks beneat h t he ar ena.
Blake t ur ns ar ound in his seat . It s show t ime.
We unload fr om t he v an wher e wer e met by a man in a
suit . He int r oduces himself as t he ev ent planner and t akes us
t o our assigned dr essing r oom.
The space is about half t he size of t he locker r oom at t he
UFL Tr aining Cent er . Two lar ge leat her couches line t he walls
wit h a coffee t able in bet ween. The floor has been cov er ed
wit h padded, int er locking mat s t hat pr ov ide cushion for a
gr appling war m up. A heav y bag hangs in t he cor ner , along
wit h some boxing mit t s. A small r efr iger at or sit s in t he
opposit e cor ner , pr obably st ocked wit h wat er and a v ar iet y of
spor t s dr inks.
I dr op my bag of gear next t o a couch and t ake a seat
while t he guy s on my t eam t alk t o t he planner . Blake t ur ns
fr om t he gr oup, st alking t owar d me. His face is har d. Shit .
Once he r eaches me, his hand mot ions t o his ear for me t o pop
out my ear buds.
He point s t o t he door . Mot her fucker s sending in chicks.
The fuck y ou say ?
A woman in t his r oom would cause t he exact opposit e
env ir onment t hat I need. Befor e a fight it s all about
r elaxat ion. A r elaxed mind is a shar p mind. The last t hing
any of us need is some chick in her e kissing ass.
I shift t o t he side on t he couch t o look behind Blake. My
t eam is hov er ing ov er t he ev ent planner , point ing in his face.
The poor suit looks like he might shit his pant s. I sit back,
shr ug, and lock ey es wit h Blake.
It s pr obably just somet hing t he net wor ks or chest r at ed
for r at ings. They come, t hey sit in t he cor ner and keep t o
t hemselv es. They keep t he fuck away fr om me.
Been fight ing her e for y ear s and nev er had chicks in t he
dr essing r oom. Blakes ey ebr ows lower ov er his ey es. Gibbs
knows we need calm befor e a fight . Why would he agr ee t o
t his shit ?
No clue. But lat ely t his publicit y shit is leading him
ar ound by his dick. Fir st Camille, now t his. He seems less
about t he fight and mor e about t he r at ings.
Blake nods t hen t ur ns back t o t he t eam and t he suit . I pop
in my ear buds, dr op my head back, close my ey es, and pull
up my gir ls face.
Im lost in t he music when t he couch dips next t o me. I
look up t o see Blake mout hing somet hing at me, and squint t o
r ead his lips.
fucking t old y ou t hat dick was up t o no good.
I cat ch somet hing out of t he cor ner of my ey e t hat makes
me do a double t ake.
Candy .
What t he hell is she doing her e? Befor e t he quest ion
r egist er s in my mind, it s answer ed.
Dist r act ion.
Candy and a gir l Iv e nev er seen saunt er ar ound t he
r oom, asking if t her e is any t hing any one needs. They r e bot h
wear ing what amount s t o Hoot er s unifor ms, minus t he owl.
Their r ed shor t s look like t hey r e paint ed on and t heir t ank
t ops look mor e like spor t s br as.
Fucking Dominick.
Wes! My blood is boiling and Im it ching for a fight . I
shake my head, half fur ious and half impr essed wit h
Dominicks play .
If he cant dist r act me, hell piss me off enough t o want t o
kill someone t hen put me in t he oct agon.
My head t r ainer t ur ns and walks t o me. What s up,
Jonah?
I st and and meet Wes ey e t o ey e. I want t hose gir ls out of
her e. Now. My v oice is a low gr owl.
He looks ov er his shoulder and back t o me, his ey es
nar r ow. Those gir ls? He t ilt s his head, mot ioning t o Candy
and her sidekick.
Yeah, Wes. Those gir ls. I t hr ow my ar ms out and look
ar ound t he r oom. Who t he fuck do y ou t hink Im t alking
about ? They r e t he only fucking gir ls in t he r oom! Blood
pounds in my ear s and a low buzz r at t les in my head.
Get em out of her e, Wes. Ser iously . Blakes v oice is low
and t hr eat ening at my side.
Wes st eps ov er t o t he gir ls and say s somet hing I cant
hear . They bot h look my way , and I spear Candy wit h a glar e
t hat I hope sends fear t hr ough her v eins.
Her smile disappear s and her ey es hit t he floor . The gir l
wit h her is going int o some long explanat ion about somet hing
and Wes list ens. Aft er a few minut es, he makes his way back
t o me.
They cant leav e. They v e been assigned t o t he r oom. If
t hey leav e, t hey r e afr aid t hey ll get fir ed.
That s bullshit ! Blake t ur ns t owar d t he gir ls. I gr ab his
elbow.
Fuck it . I dont hav e t he br ain space t o wor r y about t his
shit r ight now. Im falling r ight int o Dominicks t r ap by
get t ing fir ed up. He want s me half-cocked befor e I get t o t he
oct agon. I wont giv e him t he sat isfact ion.
It s cool, Blake. You just keep t hat bit ch away fr om me.
I suit up and hit t he heav y bag. Ev er y punch and kick
r eliev es some of t he anger pollut ing my focus. Blake and I
mov e t hr ough some gr appling t echniques, and I feel t he last
of my t ension dissolv e.
Dominick t hought he could goad me? Wr ong.
Feeling mor e like my self, I go back t o my place on t he
couch. Owen hit s me up wit h t he t went y -minut e war ning.
Finally .
Behind my closed ey es, I play memor ies t hat make me
r elax. My dad and I play ing ball in t he fr ont y ar d, him
hugging my mom in t he kit chen when hed come home fr om
wor k. Rav ens face alight wit h laught er , her peaceful
expr ession when shes deep in sleep
A small hand br ushes my knee t hen shoot s st r aight up
my shor t s. My ey es fly open. I gr ab t he hand and st ill it s
pr ogr ession. Pr essing it t o my inner t high, I pin t he offender
wit h my st ar e.
Candy is sit t ing on t he coffee t able, her body bet ween my
knees. Shes leaning for war d in her bar ely -t her e clot hes, her
palm against my skin under my shor t s. And Im holding it
t her e wit h my hand. Fuck.
The r oom is almost empt y except for a couple guy s, who
ar e cur r ent ly being dist r act ed by Candy s fr iend.
I r ip her hand fr om my leg and st and, t ower ing ov er her .
Nice t r y , bit ch. Next t ime y ou put y our hand on me, Ill
br eak it .
She pulls fr ee fr om my gr ip, fear wor king behind her
ey es. She schools her feat ur es. What ev er . Cant blame a gir l
for t r y ing.
It s t ime t o end t his.
Twenty-nine
Raven
My knees ar e bouncing like t he pist ons on a Fer r ar i. I
hav e a bur ning ur ge t o r un laps ar ound t his ar ena, but t he
fear t hat gr ips my gut keeps me plant ed in my seat .
Im gr at eful for t he execut iv e car Jonah had pick us up. I
dont t hink eit her of us could dr iv e wit h t hese ner v es.
The dr iv er made sur e t o get us her e just befor e t he t it le
fight , opt ing t o for go t he opening fight s at Jonahs r equest . He
fear ed t hey might fr eak me out . Hes r ight .
Wher es Guy ?
Last t ime we spoke, he said hed be her e for t he opening
fight s. Hes not .
I gr ab my phone. No missed calls. I call Guy again. No
answer . Darn it. May be his phone bat t er y died, or he left it at
home.
St ill no answer ? Kat her ine is beside me, her hands
folded t ight ly in her lap.
No. I shov e my phone int o my pocket . I cant imagine
what s keeping him. He seemed r eally excit ed t o come
t onight .
Kat her ine r ubs my back t hen r e-knot s her hands in her
lap. Im sur e hell be her e soon.
My finger s dr um against t he plast ic seat of my folding
chair , a fur ious beat t hat mat ches my r acing hear t . I scan
r ows of people sur r ounding t he oct agon. The cr owd hums
wit h ant icipat ion, bloodt hir st y . So close t o t he oct agon floor ,
no doubt Ill be able t o hear t he t hud of fist on flesh at t his
dist ance. My st omach plummet s.
I check t he glowing digit al number s on t he clock abov e
t he oct agon. Eight een minut es and t hir t y -sev en seconds,
t hir t y -six, t hir t y -fiv e. They t ick down, one by one, just like
my fr eedom. Number ed in minut es. I wipe my sweat y palms
on my jeans.
A war m hand st ills my t wit chy leg. Calm down, honey .
Hell be okay . Kat her ine misint er pr et s my anxiet y .
Wat ching Jonah get hit in t he oct agon will be difficult ,
but Im mor e concer ned wit h his act ing skills t han his
fight ing skills.
I nod, smile, and fix my ey es back on t he clock. Where is
Guy?
The seat s in t he ar ena fill up quickly as people r et ur n
fr om t heir bat hr oom and concession st and br eaks. The air is
heav y wit h ener gy and aggr ession. It could be my
imaginat ion, but t he smell of blood and sweat seem t o linger
in t he air fr om t he ear lier fight s. As t he main ev ent dr aws
near , t he ar ena comes aliv e, chant ing.
Assassin, Assassin, Assassin Ov er and ov er ,
r at chet ing my t ension.
I wonder if Jonah can hear t his fr om his dr essing r oom. I
wish so badly I was wit h him now, allowing t he war mt h of his
skin and soot hing wor ds t o comfor t me. My ar ms wr ap ar ound
my body . Hed hold me close. Pr obably t ell me t o br eat he and
r elax. Hed t ell me ev er y t hing is okay and hes going t o t ake
me home t onight as his, for good.
Jonahs cor ner is empt y . No familiar faces in sight . I look
up t he aisle. They must all be in t he back wit h him. The
t hought br ings my hear t r at e down and t he muscles in my
shoulder s ease up t heir gr ip. Well be t oget her soon enough,
but for now it s good hes sur r ounded by his t eam. Id pr obably
only make him wor r y .
Eight minut es, four seconds.
Hey , Rav en. This seat t aken?
My back st iffens at t he gr at ing v oice. Candy . Swift air
br ushes my ar m as she sit s in t he seat t o my r ight . I t ur n t o
look at her , cer t ain my face conv ey s my shock. My jaw falls
slack as I t ake in her clot hes. Not clot hes, mor e like a modest
bikini.
Im speechless.
Hello. Ar e y ou Rav ens fr iend? Kat her ine r eaches her
hand acr oss my lap t owar ds Candy . Im Kat her ine Slade.
Candy leans in, pr essing her har d, fake boob int o my
ar m, making me cr inge and r ecoil. I st ar e in amazement as
an angel and t he dev il shake hands. In my lap.
Yes, I am. Candy s t one nauseat es me. It s nice t o meet
y ou, Mr s. Slade. Im also fr iends wit h y our son. Wer e v er y
close. Her wor ds ar e said t o Kat her ine, but t he way her ey es
slide t o mine, t hey r e meant for me. Bitch.
Oh, r eally , y ou know Joey ?
Yes, I do. Wev e been close for a while now. Her
sacchar ine smile and ov er ly paint ed face lean t owar ds
Kat her ine. As a mat t er of fact , I just left him backst age.
My hear t cr amps v iolent ly . I lock my nar r ow ey es on her .
She was wit h him?
I dont under st and. You wer e wit h him just now?
Kat her ine sounds as confused as I feel.
A wicked smile st r et ches acr oss Candy s face, and I
wouldnt hav e been sur pr ised if she had fangs. Yes. Hes
doing gr eat . A lit t le t ense, so I r ubbed his shoulder s for ev er .
She dr aws out t he last wor d as she r ubs her hands and flexes
her finger s. My hands ar e killing me.
Fucking bit ch!
Shocked, I meet Kat her ines ey es. She looks
disappoint ed. She believ es Candy . Well, I dont .
Wit h my elbows r est ing on my knees, I dr op my head int o
my hands, r ubbing my t emples. This is not happening. If I get
int o it wit h Candy , t hat will only upset Kat her ine. But if I
dont call her out , t hen Kat her ine will t hink her son is a low-
down, dir t y dog. What do I do?
I lov e Jonah and I t r ust him mor e t han any one. Candy is
ly ing. I bet she wasnt ev en back t her e wit h him. For t he fir st
t ime, t he familiar cr eeping doubt t hat nor mally seeps in is
absent . Hes put t ing ev er y t hing on t he line for me t onight .
Put t ing ev er y t hing hes wor ked for aside for me and our
fut ur e. Ill be damned if Im going t o let Candy make him out
t o be any t hing less t han t he her o he is.
My shoulder s r elax and I sit up st r aight . I t ur n int o
Candy s face as she for ces an innocent expr ession, and fails.
You know what , Candy ? Im r eady t o unleash on t he
ev il slut .
So, Rav en, what ar e y ou doing her e any way ? Candy
st ar t s t alking as if I hadnt ev en opened my mout h. Jonah
t old me y ou wer ent able t o come. Somet hing about , hm,
what was it ? She snaps her finger s. Oh, y eah, somet hing
about get t ing a new job wit h y our fat her ? Dominick?
Kat her ine gasps, and my jaw locks down, making my
t eet h ache.
How does she know about Dominick? Jonah and Blake ar e
t he only t wo people who know. My head spins. How else would
she know t hat unless she was back t her e? Talking about me.
They would nev er do t hat .
None of t his makes sense.
Unless?
Shes wor king for Dominick.
My hear t pounds and I want t o scr eam. Adr enaline fist s
my hands. I cant lose it her e. Not in fr ont of her . I wont giv e
her t he sat isfact ion. But one t hings cer t ain: I need t o get out
of her e.
Excuse me, I mumble and st and t o leav e.
Rav en? Kat her ine st ands next t o me, her ey ebr ows
pinched t oget her .
Im fine, Kat her ine. Ill just be a minut e.
I scoot past Candy int o t he aisle, gr asping my hands
t oget her t o keep fr om backhanding her . She coughs t o cov er
her snicker . I whir l t o face her , giv ing up my r est r aint . One
slap. Then I m out of here.
The light s go dar k. The r oom explodes in a fan-cr azed
r oar . Im fr ozen in place, unable t o see in fr ont of me. A
spot light cut s t hr ough t he dar kness. The t op of t he st air s
illuminat es a gr oup of v er y lar ge men. A man wear ing a
black shir t t hat say s Cr ew in y ellow acr oss his chest usher s
me back, t elling me t o t ake my seat . Back in place, Kat her ine
gr abs my hand.
Ladies and gent lemen, welcome t o UFL one-ninet y -
eight . The announcer s v oice fills t he r oom.
The cr owd r oar s and my shoulder s t ight en wit h t ension.
Six-t ime Heav y weight Champion, Vict or The Bull Del
Tor o, will defend his t it le against t he undefeat ed Jonah The
Assassin Slade.
A mix of boos and cheer s r ing in my ear s. Kat her ines gr ip
t ight ens. The dr iv ing bass of Jay -Zs song Niggas in Par is
fills t he dome-shaped ar ena, sending t he fans int o a fr enzy .
The air elect r ifies my skin, ev er y hair st anding on end.
Let s welcome our challenger . Ladies and gent lemen, put
y our hands t oget her for Jonah The Assassin Slade. The
announcer s v oice dr aws out his name and my body br eaks
out in goose bumps.
A br ight light flashes t o t he t op of t he st air s. My ey es
squint and bur n t r y ing t o make out a familiar face. Out in
fr ont of t he gr oup ar e Rex and Caleb, but Iv e nev er seen t hem
like t his befor e. Their faces ar e masks of concent r at ion. Their
bodies ar e t aut and unfor giv ing. They descend t he st air s wit h
t he br av ado of well-t r ained soldier s. I st r uggle for br eat h,
suffocat ed by t he ant icipat ion in t he air .
As t he gr oup walks down t he st eps, each member of t he
t eam comes int o v iew. Wes walks behind Caleb and Rex, t hen
Blake. His t easing ey es and easy going smile ar e r eplaced by
det er minat ion. I sear ch for Jonahs face in t he gr oup. Fans
st and on t heir chair s, y elling and r eaching t o get t o Jonah in
t he cent er of his cr ew. Secur it y guar ds line t he aisle, holding
people back.
My hand squeezes Kat her ines t ight er and I push up on my
t oes. I get a quick glimpse of t he t ips of dar k mussed up hair .
Ther e he is.
His face comes int o v iew and Im complet ely floor ed. He
looks posit iv ely deadly and mor e beaut iful t han ev er . My
hear t almost beat s out of my chest . His ey ebr ows ar e low in a
fixed st at e of focus, making his ey es look black. His full lips
ar e held in a t ight , st r aight line, fr amed by his set jaw. The
muscles under his color ful skin seem bigger as t hey flex under
t he light . I suck in a br eat h and t hr ow my hand ov er my
gaping mout h.
Iv e seen Jonah t r ain and he seemed let hal t hen. But now,
he looks homicidal. I say a silent pr ay er t hat t his is all an act ,
because t he way he looks now, hed snap at t he slight est
pr ov ocat ion.
They mov e down t he st air s, passing r ows of scr eaming
fans. His t eam is cir cled ar ound him pr ot ect iv ely . They r each
t he bot t om and walk down t he aisle of our sect ion. Then t he
gr oup st ops shor t . Right at our r ow.
Im fr ozen, my ey es bur ning and st uck on Jonah. He t ur ns
his head t owar ds me as if hes r esponding t o my call. His ey es
dont sear ch, but land r ight on my face. Caught in t he
fer ocit y of his st ar e, I hold his gaze. A one-dimpled smile
t ouches his face just long enough for me t o see befor e it
disappear s and t he focus is back.
That s it . Hes let t ing me know t hat t his is an act . I t ake a
deep br eat h and smile back, huge. He giv es me a wink and
t hr ows a quick look t o Candy . His int ense glar e makes her
cower .
Take t hat , bit ch.
And wit h r enewed hope, I wat ch t he gr oup cont inue down
t he aisle and int o t he oct agon.
~*~
Jonah
sixt h t ime r et ur ning Heav y weight Champion Vict or
The Bull Del Tor o.
St anding in my cor ner of t he oct agon, I wait for Del Tor o
t o make it down t he aisle. I find my gir l in t he cr owd. Shes
holding my moms hand. Thank you, Mom.
And why in t he hell is Candy sit t ing wher e Guy should
be? May be he couldnt make it ? But t hat doesnt explain why
Dominicks slut -bot is in his place.
It was one t hing t o see Candy walt z int o my dr essing r oom
like she belonged t her e, but seeing her st anding next t o Rav en
is unset t ling. I t hought I scar ed her enough t o get her t o back
off. Appar ent ly what ev er Dominick is pay ing is wor t h her
cont inued humiliat ion. Candy spent t he ent ir e t ime in my
dr essing r oom, sit t ing in t he cor ner on a plast ic folding chair .
Blake ev en made her and her slut t y sidekick face t he wall just
t o make a point .
I for ce my t hought s back t o Del Tor o and t he fight .
Not hing can t hr ow me off my game. Not one fucking t hing.
Ten minut es. I need t o st ay up for t he fir st t wo r ounds. Aft er
t hat , game ov er . My ey es slide back t o Rav en like t hey r e
magnet ized.
Get y our head in t he fight , Slade. Your gir ls st ill gonna
be t her e when it s ov er , say s Owen fr om behind me.
I nod. Hes r ight . I need t o focus on t he fight and keep t he
buzzing in my head down t o a minimum. Candy wor ks for t he
enemy , and seeing her so close t o Rav en makes me wish Id
locked my gir l in t he bedr oom. May be I shouldnt hav e had
her come t onight . I could hav e set her up somewher e, far
away fr om her e, unt il t he out come was det er mined. But I
need t o see her face t o st ay gr ounded, t o cont r ol t he r age
t hat ll be r iding me har d.
Del Tor o st ands in his cor ner , giv ing me t he st ar e-down.
Id giv e almost any t hing t o knock t hat confident look r ight off
his scar r ed face. Almost .
The r ef mot ions for us t o meet in t he middle of t he
oct agon. He giv es us t he speech t hey alway s giv e befor e a
fight about no hit s below t he belt and make it a clean fight .
His wor ds may as well be spoken in Japanese as much as Im
pay ing at t ent ion. Inst ead, Im locked ey e t o ey e wit h Del Tor o.
The r ef y ells somet hing and t hen r epeat s it . It s on t he r epeat
t hat I hear he want s us t o t ap knuckles. Fuck t hat .
Your e going down, y ou lit t le bit ch, Del Tor o gr owls as
he t akes his fight ing st ance.
He has no idea.
I r aise my fist s and we face off. My blood sizzles wit h
r est r ained aggr ession.
The r ef wav es his hand bet ween us. Fight .
Del Tor o and I cir cle each ot her , sizing each ot her up, fist s
at t he r eady . I focus on his hands, keeping his legs on r adar .
The cr owd r oar s ov er shout s fr om our cor ner men. Mine y ell,
Take a hit ! His shout , Take him down!
Del Tor o t ur ns his fist , palm up, t aunt ing me. Come on,
pussy . Take a shot .
My jaw gr inds against my mout h guar d. This cocky fuck
t hinks I cant lay him out . I mock swing. He flinches. Yeah,
fuck you.
Get mov in, guy s, t he r ef say s. Fans didnt pay t o
wat ch t wo fair ies cir cling t he may poleFight .
No mor e milking t he clock.
I dr op my guar d. He t hr ows t he quick left . I dodge it . The
cr owd cheer s. We cir cle again, and his r ight leg sweeps at my
feet . I jump back. I feel t he buzz in my head. My muscles coil. I
find my gr oov e and r ight jab a heav y body blow. He doubles,
winded, but r ecov er s. His fist comes at me. I duck. Shit . If t his
fight goes t o decision, Id win. I need t o get hit .
I r ush Del Tor o and slam him against t he fence, holding
him in a clinch. A bar r age of punches hammer my back.
My leg snakes ar ound one of his, keeping him off balance.
He at t empt s a knee t o my t high, but my hold locks him down.
He t r ies for a chokehold. I bur y my shoulder deeper int o his
chest . My body const r ict s ar ound his. The clock t icks on.
Br eak it up! The r ef pushes us apar t .
Ar ms r aised, I st and back. The r ef wav es his hand
bet ween us. Fight s back on.
Del Tor o comes at me, head down, aiming for my gut . His
signat ur e mov e. Hes going for t he t ake down. The split
second befor e he hit s, I check t he clock. A minut e and t hir t y -
t wo seconds left . His shoulder slams int o my abdomen, t aking
us bot h down. I land on my back, my lungs cont r act ing for
br eat h, and he st r addles my leg in half guar d.
Shit . Not good.
He r ear s back for t he gr ound-and-pound. I t hr ow my head
t o t he side and cr oss my ar ms t o pr ot ect my face. Blow aft er
blow pound against my for ear ms. Pain r ocket s t hr ough my
body . The buzz a st eady hum in my head. Adr enaline shoot s
t hr ough my v eins.
Wit h my fr ee leg, I br ace my foot against t he mat . The
blows cont inue. Ringing in my ear s, t he buzz goes nuclear . I
need t o get t o my feet .
My heel digs deep. I t hr ust my hips, bucking Del Tor o off.
Iv e got t he mount . I pull back, landing a blow t hat sends
blood t o t he mat . My inst inct s want v ict or y , t o finish him
now, but r eason st ills my fist .
A hor n sounds and t he black-and-whit e st r iped shir t of t he
r ef is in my face.
Round one ov er .
I jump t o my feet and head t o my cor ner . My head st ar t s
t o clear . Shit , t hat was close. My cor ner men shout or der s at
me while I r inse my mout h out . Blake st ands back, and my
ey es meet his. He r aises his ey ebr ows and t ilt s his head. He
knows what happened. I came seconds away fr om flipping t he
swit ch. I nod. He holds up one hand, all fiv e finger s splay ed.
Fiv e mor e minut es. I need t o hold it t oget her for fiv e mor e
minut es. He dr ops his hand and mot ions t o t he oct agon.
Round t wo.
Del Tor os bleeding. Fuck, I need t o get hit mor e.
Concent r at e on t he end game. My gir l.
In t he st ands, Rav en cov er s her mout h. She looks scar ed.
Fiv e mor e minut es, fiv e mor e fucking minut es and shes
mine.
Round t wo, t he r ef y ells. Fight .
Focus. We mov e close, fist s r aised. Del Tor o t hr ows a har d
r ight . I dont block it . It connect s wit h my jaw. Light ning
shoot s down my neck. The buzz in my head is now a bat t le
cr y . Im gonna kill t his fucker .
I hit him wit h double st r ikes t o his st omach. He st eps
back, gasping for br eat h. He comes at me wit h a quick jab t o
my r ibs. Pain blast s t hr ough my side. I double ov er , but st ay
on my feet .
We cir cle each ot her . He t hr ows a left . I dodge it . Hes
open. One r ight hook would knock him out . I punch his r ibs.
He st umbles. Im dy ing t o finish t his. I could t ake him down
r ight now. Easily .
My ey es lock on his fist s. He sweeps at my leg and
connect s. Pain t hr obs in my calf. I hop t o r egain my balance.
I unleash my r est r aint , my r ight fist slamming int o his
r eddened r ibs. He gr unt s and doubles ov er . My hands dr op t o
my sides wit h a sat isfied smile. Fuck, t hat felt good. I lock ey es
wit h Rav en. Her s widen, and flick past me. I spin. His r ight
knee flies up, I mov e back, but it s t oo lat e.
Two-hundr ed-fift y -sev en pounds of for ce slam int o my
head.
Pain explodes at my ear . Br ight whit e light flashes behind
my ey es. My v ision r ecedes. I st agger . My body hums. My
mind empt y , but for one t hought .
Annihilat e.
Del Tor o st eps int o my space. I t hr ow a r ight . My
hay maker connect s wit h t he sweet spot on his jaw. His mout h
guar d flies in an explosion of blood and spit . He goes down.
Rag-dolled.
Game ov er . Oh, fuck.
Thirty
Raven
Ladies and Gent lemen, y our new UFL Heav y weight
Champion, Jonah The Assassin Slade. The announcer s
wor ds r ev er ber at e in my soul, r aising t he hair on my skin.
He won.
I dr op t o my seat as ev er y one ar ound me st ay s st anding.
The v oices of t he fans ar e slow and slur in my ear s. Their
faces cont or t wit h t he for ce of t heir excit ement . I blink and
gr ip t he sides of my chair .
He won.
Kat her ine leans down and hugs me. My body shakes as
she cont inues t o jump up and down. She say s somet hing, but
submer ged in my miser y , I cant under st and her . I absent ly
nod, my focus dist ant , as I for ce my br ain int o act ion.
What do I do now?
I cant t hink of any t hing. Except him. My body aches for
him, want ing t o be held, t o cr y in t he safet y of his ar ms.
Toget her .
We can face any t hing as long as wer e t oget her . It s not
t oo lat e t o r un. I could go somewher e r emot e, liv e low for a
few y ear s unt il Dominick loses int er est . Tiny spar ks of hope
flar e. That s what Ill do. I need t o get t o Jonah and get out of
t own. Now.
A jolt fr om my hip sends me t o my feet . I pr ess t he pocket
of my shor t s t o feel it v ibr at e. My phone. Who would be
calling me now? I check t he caller ID. New t ext fr om Guy ?
Guy doesnt t ext .
Hello, Darling. If you want to save his life, youll follow Candy.
Failure to comply will end him. Slowly. You have five minutes. D
He has Guy . Holy shit !
Dominick has him. That s why he nev er showed. My
br eat h cat ches on a sob. I gr ip at my neck and swallow har d.
Hell kill him if I dont cooper at e. I dont hav e t ime t o get t o
Jonah.
Four minut es and count ing. Candy gr ips my ar m
fir mly .
I glar e at her hand. Shes in on t his. Ly ing bit ch.
Kat her ine cont inues t o cheer as she glor ies in her sons
v ict or y . Her lov e for her son shines in her r adiant smile. That
same lov e t hat pour ed ov er ont o me, ev en if only for a day .
And now it s ov er .
Candy t ugs my ar m.
Get y our fucking hand off me! My demand is fir m, but
soft enough for only her t o hear . Im coming. I r ip my ar m
fr om her gr ip. Just let me say good-by e. I dont giv e her an
oppor t unit y t o r espond and t ur n t o Kat her ine.
I let t he lov e in her face r eflect in mine and must er a
smile befor e leaning in t o be hear d ov er t he cr owd. Candy
said Jonah want s me back in t he dr essing r oom. She has a
pass so she can t ake me back. I lean back fr om her t o look in
her face.
Oh, of cour se, honey . You go congr at ulat e our boy . Ill
meet y ou guy s at home. The pr ide in her smile aches in my
chest .
I t hr ow my ar ms ar ound her neck and hug her good-by e.
Thank y ou, Kat her ine, for ev er y t hing. My t hr oat swells as I
muzzle t he emot ion t hat fight s for r elease.
Oh, well, Kat her ine say s, seeming sur pr ised by my
sudden bur st of affect ion. Thank y ou for making my Joey so
happy .
Released fr om t he hug, her smiles shadowed wit h
concer n. I nod wit h for ced confidence t hen face Candy .
Okay . Take me back.
My legs ar e heav y as I t r ail behind Candy up t he st air s.
We pass t hr ough t he double door s and int o a long hallway .
This is it . Im being kidnapped. But my life is a small pr ice
t o pay t o ensur e Guy s safet y . Kat her ine and Jonahs safet y . I
should hav e known bet t er t han t o fight dest iny . Fight
Dominick.
We st op at a single door . Nausea claws at my st omach. A
r owdy gr oup down t he hall walks t owar ds us. I wonder if it s
Jonah and t he guy s headed back t o t heir dr essing r oom. If he
saw me wit h Candy , hed nev er let me go. Panic sur ges in my
v eins. If he sees me, Guy dies. I dr op my gaze, my hair hiding
my face.
Two quick knocks and t he lock clicks. Candy mov es
for war d and I follow t hr ough, head down.
Once in, I t ur n my focus t o t he r oom. The door slams
behind me, and Im plunged int o dar kness.
I gasp. My hands r each out for somet hing t o hold ont o.
Hello, dar ling.
I whir l ar ound t owar d t he dir ect ion of t he door . My body
slams against somet hing solid. Ar ms wr ap t ight ly ar ound
me. I st r uggle against t he hold. Deja v u st ills my body and
st ifles my scr eam. Why is t his so familiar ? Flashes fr om t he
night in t he par king lot of Club Six spar k my memor y .
Oh God, no. Vince.
Fancy meet ing y ou her e. Vinces low chuckle v ibr at es
against my back.
No. Dominick, please dont do t his. I sear ch desper at ely
ar ound t he r oom for a face t o plead wit h, but t he dar k is t oo
t hick. I wont r un. Just please, leav e Guy alone.
Vince t ight ens his hold. Air is pushed fr om my lungs on a
whimper .
And Im supposed t o t ake y our wor d for it ? Dominick
laughs and br ushes his hand against my cheek. Dont y ou
wor r y , Rav en. I will t ake what is r ight fully mine. What I
cr eat ed. You cant r un far enough or hide deep enough t o
escape me.
I jer k my head aside, away fr om his t ouch. Vince shakes
me r oughly t hen loosens his gr ip.
Responding t o his wor ds wit h pur e inst inct , I suck in air t o
y ell. A soft clot h is pr essed t o my face. St inging v apor s pull
deep int o my lungs, my ey es r oll back in my head. I kick and
jer k. Im going t o die. My muffled scr eams echo in my ear s.
Dar kness cr eeps in. Jonah, help me. Then, ev er y t hing goes
black.
~*~
Jonah
A t or nado of applause whips and swir ls ar ound my body .
St at ic r oar s in my ear s along wit h my hammer ing hear t beat .
Del Tor o is down. The r ef y ells, Knockout .
Failur e r ocks me, weakening my knees. I dr op t o t he mat .
Only a minut e and a half left in t he r ound, and I would hav e
had it . I wat ch in slow mot ion as my t eam climbs t he chain
link. They r ush t owar d me, faces alight wit h v ict or y .
I sear ch out t he one member of my t eam st ill st anding on
t he out side. Blake. His glar e meet s mine. What ev er he sees
br ings life t o his body , spur r ing him int o act ion. He hops t he
fence, pushing his way t hr ough people. Im det ached, a
by st ander in my own skin. My conscious mind st r uggles wit h
r ealit y . It ended so fast . I just snapped. I won t he t it le, but
lost t he pr ize.
Desper at ion br ings me back. Voices go fr om st at ic t o clear
as I r egain my senses. I need t o find her . I sit back on my
heels. My ey es magnify t he faces ar ound me, like binocular s,
br inging int o focus my sur r oundings. I sear ch t he cr owd. A
mob of people block my v iew, jar r ing me fr om all angles.
They y ell, pat t ing my shoulder . My back. My head.
Find her . The mumbled wor ds ar e a weak command t o
my body .
Blake dr ops t o his knees in fr ont of me, his hands on my
shoulder s, for cing my at t ent ion.
Do not lose y our shit , man. Lock it down, y ou hear me.
His v oice is commanding, his wor ds a t ouchst one t o my
sanit y .
I hold his ey es and fight against t he t ide of cr ippling
emot ions t hat pull at my soul.
Ther e y a go. Hold y our shit , man. St ay focused on me.
I look at him, but dont see him. Inst ead v isions of my
fut ur e flicker t hr ough my mind. Rav en in whit e. A lit t le gir l
wit h aquamar ine ey es and my dimples, pigt ails and pink
ballet shoes. My gir l in my bed, ev er y night , for ev er .
Ev er y t hing I just lost .
Blinking away t he bur n, I swallow har d. I lur ch for war d,
on all four s, fight ing t he r ising bile. A st abbing pain r ocks my
midsect ion, and I spit my mout h guar d t o t he mat .
Dont do t his now, man. Not her e.
I lost her . My v oice gr at es against my t hr oat as I for ce
out t he wor ds. I cant believ e it . I couldnt sav e her .
No. You dont lose. The Assassin does not lose. He gr ips
my shoulder s, pulling me t o my feet .
Br eat hing deep, I for ce a nod. My skin feels t ight
sur r ounded by people in my space. I need t o get out of her e. I
cant t hink st r aight .
I need Rav en. To t ouch her and r emind my self t hat shes
r eal and st ill her e. Her bir t hday isnt unt il t omor r ow. We
hav e a few hour s t o get out of t own. Disappear . At least unt il
we can come up wit h a bet t er plan.
On a v iscer al quest , I push t hr ough t he cr owd. No faces,
no familiar it y , just bodies. Obst acles t hat st and bet ween me
and Rav en.
At t he oct agons per imet er , I sear ch t he ar ena, scanning
t he cr owd. Wher e is she?
A micr ophone is shov ed in my face. Assassin, how does
it feel t o be t he new UFL Heav y weight Champion?
No quest ions. Blakes v oice dr aws my at t ent ion. He t ilt s
his head t owar ds t he oct agons exit .
I scan t he seat s wher e Rav en was sit t ing. People cr owd
ar ound t he oct agon. Secur it y pushes t hem back. My ey es pick
apar t each per son, and, st ill, no Rav en.
Wher e is she?
Blake gr ips t he chain link, focused and scanning. They r e
gone. They wer e r ight t her e. He point s t o t he r ow of seat s
t hey wer e in just seconds befor e t he fight ended.
My hands r ake t hr ough my hair . No. This cannot be
fucking happening. My aching muscles cont r act as my fist s
t ight en. She couldnt hav e gone far . I cont inue t o scan t he
ar ea, hoping her face will appear in t he cr owd. St ill not hing.
Ill pick t his ent ir e place apar t , one mot her fucker at a t ime,
unt il I find my gir l.
Assassin! Gr eat fight ! Can y ou t ell us what it feels like t o
hav e won
Blake shov es t he comment at or in t he chest , sending him
back and landing ass t o mat . No fucking quest ions. Blake
t ower s ov er t he downed r epor t er befor e t ur ning back t o me.
Shit . He sounds annoy ed as if t he guy was not hing mor e
t han an obnoxious mosquit o.
He looks ov er my shoulder .
Ther es y our mom. Blakes v oice r ises abov e t he r oar of
t he cr owd. I follow his st ar e.
Shes st anding at t he floor of t he ar ena, on t ipt oes, ey es
sear ching. In a few long, pur poseful st r ides Im in her space.
Mom, wher es Ra
Oh, Joey , y ou wer e gr eat ! Congr at u She mov es t o
embr ace me, but I cat ch her wr ist s, for cing her ey es t o mine.
Mom. Wher es Rav en?
Her smile falls and her ey ebr ows pinch t oget her . Rav en?
Honey , Candy t ook her back t o y our dr essing r oom, just like
y ou asked her t o.
Dr ead dr ops in my st omach, t hr eat ening t o br ing me t o
my knees.
Fuck me. I knew t hat skanky -ass ho was up t o no good,
Blake say s fr om behind me.
Moms face pales and her ey es implor e mine. Jonah,
what s going on?
I dont know what t he fucks going on. But Im sur e as shit
going t o find out .
My feet bur n wit h unspent ener gy . I r ace up t he st air s
t wo at a t ime. Weav ing my way t hr ough t he cr owd, I shov e
people aside when t hey dont mov e fast enough. I bur st
t hr ough t he double door s and r un down t he cor r idor t o my
dr essing r oom. My foot hit s t he door wit h t he for ce of a
bat t er ing r am, splint er ing t he wood fr ame.
Rav en. You in her e? I r ush t hr ough t he r oom in sear ch
of my gir l. But ev en as my hopeful ey es cont inue t heir
sear ch, I know shes gone. This was Dominicks plan all along.
Send Candy in for dist r act ion and ext r act ion. Like placing t he
last piece int o a puzzle, ev er y t hing now makes sense.
I flip t he coffee t able upside down. Fuck!
Rav en is in t he hands of a madman. My hands r ip
t hr ough my hair . I should hav e known Dominick would pull
some backhanded shit . Now my gir l is wit h a psy cho who uses
his own daught er as a pawn in his sick games.
Resolv e bur ns deep in my chest . My hear t pounds wit h
int ent . The buzz bet ween my ear s t hr obs and floods my body .
My v eins sur ge wit h r ev enge in let hal pot ency . A plan for ms
in my head. My lips cur l as my t eet h clench.
Im going t o get Rav en back t onight . I dont car e who I
hav e t o kill t o do it .
~*~
Raven
I float in a v oid, a black hole, t ossed on wav es of dar k
smoke. No feeling. Just not hingness. A faint sound t aunt s
me. Calling me t o it s comfor t . I want t o mov e t owar ds it , but
cant gr ip consciousness enough t o mov e.
An ur gency t o fight t he dar k fuels my blood. I push
against t he fade. The sound get s louder . The soot hing
v ibr at ions t ickle my ear as I t r y t o place it . The sound is as
familiar as my own name. I concent r at e har der .
An engine. A small one, sedan may be.
I push har der and hear a moan deep in t he dist ance.
Is t hat me?
The engine is joined wit h t he r hy t hmic beat of music. I
st r ain t o hear it and sur face fr om t he mur ky dept hs. Feeling
r et ur ns t o my body in sect ions of war mt h like a hot t owel
ly ing on bar e skin. I or ient my self. Im on my side. My ey elids
ar e heav y as I push t o get t hem open.
I wiggle my finger s and r oll my wr ist s. They r e t ied
t oget her . My mind st r uggles t o place my self. I r emember
Kat her ine. My hear t cr amps. The fight . Jonah. The t ext .
Candy .
Fucking Candy !
Adr enaline fuels my muscles and I for ce open my ey es.
Im in t he backseat of a car . The dr iv er is a man; t hat much I
can t ell fr om t he back of his head. No ot her passenger s. I
swallow what feels like r azor blades. How long hav e I been
out ? I clear my t hr oat t o speak, get t ing t he at t ent ion of my
dr iv er . His head whips ar ound and I muffle a scr eam.
Good mor ning, sleepy head. Hav e a good nap? His
wicked laugh cr awls ov er my skin, making me cur l int o
my self.
Facing for war d, he t ilt s t he r ear v iew mir r or , his ey es on
me. They glow in t he light of t he dashboar d. He looks
demonic.
Wher e I clear my t hr oat . Wher e ar e y ou t aking me?
His r eflect ion glar es at me. Wer e going on a lit t le r oad
t r ip.
What happened? Wher es Jonah?
I hav e an idea. Why dont y ou go back t o sleep or pr et end
t o be asleep so I dont hav e t o hear y our v oice? Or bet t er y et ,
y ou shut y our fuckin mout h, or Ill climb back t her e and
shov e somet hing in it .
Tear s bur n my ey es and my t hr oat clogs wit h emot ion. I
nod and v ow t o keep quiet for t he r est of t he t r ip.
An or ange glow dr aws my at t ent ion. I peer t hr ough t he
gap in t he fr ont seat s. A clock. The number s gr ound megiv e
me somet hing t o hold on t o. Just like befor e t he fight , I wat ch
t he minut es t ick away , along wit h my fut ur e. As t he minut es
st r et ch by , I make my self sick. Ev er y imaginable hor r or
comes t o mind. Jonah doesnt know wher e I am. Im alone
wit h someone who hat es me enough t hat killing me would be
kind.
As many t imes as Jonah has swooped in like an angelic
war r ior t o r escue me, my pr edicament is impossible. No one
will help me now. If Im going t o get out of t his, Im going t o
hav e t o do it my self.
The car t ur ns. I t ilt my head t o look out t he window fr om
my back seat bed. My v iew is a wall of pine t r ees. Wer e in t he
mount ains, and fr om t he sound of t he cr eaking suspension
and gr av el assault ing t he wheel wells, on a dir t r oad. Aft er
anot her t went y minut es, t he car slows t o a st op.
Vince exit s t he car , giv ing me seconds of r elief befor e t he
back door swings open and he gr abs me by my bound ankles.
He t hr ows me ov er his shoulder like a dead animal. It s
complet ely black out side. Dar kness like Iv e nev er seen
hav ing liv ed in t he cit y my whole life. Ther es a sour ce of
light ahead t hat penet r at es t he night . Vince heads t owar d it .
He walks up a few wooden st eps befor e we go t hr ough a door
and int o t he liv ing r oom of a cabin.
He t ur ns left and Im air bor ne. My wr ist s bound, Im
unable t o br eak my fall and my head slams int o somet hing
solid. St abbing pain pier ces my skull and I swallow an agony -
r iddled cr y . War m liquid oozes down my face, pooling in my
ear . My v ision swir ls.
Vinces foot st eps against t he wood floor disappear behind
me.
I squint against my t hr obbing head. Im on a couch wit h
wooden ar mr est s. The smell of an old fir e and wet wood
per meat e t he air . I wor m my body ar ound and face t he
dir ect ion we came in. Plain wood floor ing and log walls ar e all
I see. This place isnt set up for a long-t er m guest . Mor e like a
place for a weekend hunt er . And her e I am t ied up like pr ized
kill.
A door slams shut , making me jump. My muscles coil
t ight , ev er y sound amplified. Heav y foot falls sound down t he
hallway get t ing louder . Closer .
Please, God. Help me.
Dominick and Vince appear fr om t he mout h of t he
hallway . Their fine suit s and coiffed hair ar e a mor bid
cont r ast t o t he nat ur al wood of t he cabin.
Rav en, dar ling, Im sor r y about y our head. Vince is
gr eat muscle, but t ends t o be a bit br ut al.
Vince smiles and licks his lips.
As Im sur e y ouv e figur ed out , y our boy fr iend won, or
lost as it was, so now y ou belong t o me. He kneels and places
his lips just inches fr om my ear . Bet ween y ou and me, win or
lose, I had no int ent ion of r eleasing y ou.
My ey es bur n. I st ar e at t he man befor e me whose ey es ar e
ident ical t o mine. The man whose blood r uns t hr ough my
v eins, and I feel not hing but pur e, concent r at ed hat e.
He r eaches int o his pocket , and wit h a flick of his wr ist ,
hes holding a knife. I kick and pull at my r est r aint s. No!
Calm down. He sounds bor ed and not at all impr essed
by my fight . He point s t he knife, gent ly pr essing t he t ip int o
t he soft skin beneat h my ear . You be a good gir l now or I will
cut y ou. Do y ou under st and?
I nod fr ant ically , for cing t he t ip of t he knife far t her int o
my skin. A whimper leaks fr om my lips. He wat ches as a
t r ickle of blood makes a t r ail down my neck.
So beaut iful. He swipes at t he blood wit h his finger t ip
and put s it in his mout h. You ar e going t o make y our Daddy
a v er y r ich man.
Ev er y inch of my body shakes in v iolent bur st s. He slides
down t he couch t o my feet and cut s my binds. Then follows
wit h my wr ist s.
I flex and r oll my aching joint s. Sit t ing up, my head
swims. I st eady my self, blinking away my nausea.
Somet hing t ickles my cheek. I swipe at it and see blood on my
hand. I m going to be sick.
Dominick, may I use t he bat hr oom? My v oice quakes
wit h fear .
He t ilt s his head and st udies my face. I focus on his neck t o
av oid him r eading t he int ent ions in my ey es. He must be
sat isfied wit h what he sees and nods.
I push up, ignor ing my sor e wr ist s and t hr obbing head,
and sear ch for a bat hr oom. The fir st door in t he hallway is
open. I r ush in, shut t he door behind me, and t r y t o find t he
lock. Dammit ! No lock.
Panic and fear collect in my st omach, sending me t o t he
t oilet on my knees. I gag and cough, ar ching my back wit h
ev er y painful heav e. Bile-flav or ed spit coat s my dr y mout h,
making me r et ch har der . The smell of my own blood flips my
st omach again. A v iolent heav e r ocks my body unt il my
st omach sur r ender s. I t r y t o cat ch a br eat h, allowing t he
t ear s t o fall fr eely . I sob wit h my head r est ing on t he t oilet
seat . My hand does a quick sear ch of my pocket s for my
phone. I knew it wouldnt be t her e, but desper at ion has me
gr asping any way . Im st uck. Out of opt ions.
What s going t o happen t o me?
Thirty-one
Jonah
Open t he door !
Not hing. I knock har der .
Dude, calm down. Your e gonna scar e t he piss out of her .
Blakes leaning against t he br ick wall out side Milenas house
while I bang t he fucking door down.
I pound wood again. Milena. Open up!
Blakes expr ession sour s wit h disappr ov al. Yeah, Milena.
Open up for t he enor mous scar y guy beat ing t he shit out of
y our door . He t acks an ey e r oll ont o his sar casm.
Shit . Hes r ight , but wer e r unning out of t ime. Dominick
has my gir l, and she could be get t ing far t her away wit h
ev er y minut e t hat passes. They could be in fucking Mexico by
now.
Aft er leav ing t he ar ena, we went st r aight t o Rav ens
place. We let our selv es in wit h t he spar e key I kept aft er
hav ing her door r eplaced. It didnt t ake long for us t o find
what we wer e looking for . Who knew an old bank st at ement
would mean mor e t han t he Tit le belt . Finding t hat felt like
winning t he lot t er y and being t he fir st man on t he moon all
wr apped up int o one. The addr ess on t hat st at ement led us
her e.
Milena. Shes our only hope. If t his doesnt wor k, I dont
know what else t o do but go t o t he police. And if Dominick
finds out , which he will wit h all t he moles hes got plant ed in
t he depar t ment , Rav ens as good as dead.
Resolv e t hickens my blood and br ings my fist back t o t he
door . I hold it back and br eat he. Calm. Just one minut e of her
t ime is all I need. I flex my fist and knock light ly .
Not hing.
I swear t o shit if she doesnt open t his mot her fucking door ,
I will bust t he fucker down and dr ag her ass out . Ah, hell. So
much for calm.
Milena, it s Jonah. Im I squint against t he v icious
buzz pounding in my head. Hes t aken her . Do y ou know
wher e he would hav e gone wit h her ? My for ehead r est s
against t he door . I need t o find her t onight . Just , please, open
t he door . Seconds of silence feel like hour s. What am I going
t o do?
A click of a lock jolt s me back. The door cr acks open.
Milenas ey es ar e caut ious as she peer s out just beneat h t he
pr ot ect iv e chain. My br eat h cat ches in my t hr oat . She looks
so much like Rav en. I r ub my chest t o squelch t he bur n.
He t ook her ? Her v oice is soft and car r ies t he hint of a
Lat in accent .
Yes. Fr om t he ar ena.
She st ar es t hr ough me wit h unfocused ey es.
I need t o know wher e he might hav e t aken her .
Any wher e y ou t hink he might be. Addr esses would be gr eat ,
but a gener al v icinit y is fine t oo.
She blinks and meet s my ey es. Come in.
The door closes enough t o unhook t he chain and opens
slowly . I walk in wit h Blake at my heels. Milenas ey es widen
when she sees Im not alone.
Befor e I can int r oduce Blake, hes in her space.
Im Blake. He ext ends his hand t o her . She places her
small hand in his, but locks ey es on me. I nod.
Her shoulder s dr op along wit h her ey es. Milena. Her
appr ehension isnt unexpect ed. I imagine wor king for a man
like Dominick hasnt inst illed much t r ust in men.
Wer e going t o need y our help in get t ing our gir l back.
You up for t hat ? Blake must v e come t o t he same conclusion,
his v oice t he equiv alent of kid glov es.
Mm-hm. She nods and Blake r eleases her hand.
As cr ude as he can be, t he guy has a side t hat ev okes
t r ust , especially in women.
Please, sit down. She mot ions t o a couch in t he liv ing
r oom. We head in, but Im t oo ant sy t o sit .
I sur v ey my sur r oundings, sur pr ised by t he lack of
hominess. The house I gr ew up in has family phot os all ov er
t he place, along wit h knickknacks picked up fr om family
v acat ions and t r ophies won by my sist er or me. This place
feels mor e like t he wait ing r oom of a doct or s office t han a
home. Cheap, decor at iv e ar t hangs on t he walls, mat ching
t hr ow pillows ar r anged on a couch t hat looks like it s nev er
been sat on. And Rav en gr ew up her e? My chest cr amps.
Milena, I know y ou dont know me.
She backs int o t he couch and sit s, her hands obsessiv ely
picking at t he hem of her sweat er .
But , Im in lov e wit h y our daught er . I need t o get t o her .
I cant call t he police
No. Her ey es focus on me, her one wor d confir ming t hat
t he police wont do shit .
Right . Your e t he only one who can help me. Please.
She st ar es acr oss t he r oom. I t ur n t o Blake. He point s t o his
wat ch. Wer e r unning out of t ime. Milena has r et r eat ed int o
her self, looking like t he phot o Rav en t ook of her t he day she
left home.
I squat t o her ey e lev el. This woman has caused t he gir l I
lov e mor e pain t han I can st omach. I see-saw bet ween
want ing t o scr eam at her and want ing t o wor ship at her feet .
She holds t he key t o my fut ur e.
Look, I know y ou and Rav en hav e issues. And I dont
know what y ouv e been t hr ough or why y ou did t he t hings
y ou did. But I know y our daught er . She doesnt want t his life.
If y ou feel any t hing for her , if y ou car e for her at all, t hen
please help me.
Her gaze swings t o mine. Ther e is a place. In t he
mount ains. He t akes some of t he gir ls t her e aft er She looks
t o her lap. Gir ls in my pr ofession somet imes get pr egnant .
He t akes t hem t her e t o hav e t he pr ocedur e done and for
r ecov er y .
My st omach lur ches. That sick-ass mot her fucker ! These
gir ls, scar ed out of t heir minds, he t akes t o a non-medical
facilit y so some hack doct or can scr ape out t heir insides. I r ub
my head t o numb t he buzz t hat r oar s bet ween my ear s.
It s wher e she was bor n. Her v oice is just a hair abov e a
whisper . But t he wor ds r ing like t hey came fr om a bullhor n.
The cabin. Hell t ake her t her e. Her ey es bor e int o mine
wit h an int ensit y t hat I cant ar gue.
Wher e is it ? Do y ou hav e an addr ess? Name of a t own?
The quest ions r oll fr om my head in r apid fir e.
She jumps t o her feet and heads t o t he kit chen. Seconds
lat er , she r et ur ns wit h a piece of paper and a pen.
Fr ant ically , she st ar t s sket ching.
It s off t he Int er st at e t owar ds t he ski r esor t . Youll pass
t hr ough a small t own wit h a diner on t he side of t he r oad. The
sign looks like a wagon wheel. Aft er t hat , may be fift een
minut es or so, t her e will be a t ur n off on t he r ight -hand side.
Take t hat unt il y ou hit a for k in t he r oad, she explains while
dr awing it out . Right at t he for k and follow t hat . She hands
me t he paper . It s t he only t hing out t her e. You cant miss
it .
I bolt t hr ough t he liv ing r oom t o t he fr ont door . Blake
meet s me t her e, door open and wait ing.
Wait !
I st op and t ur n t o Milena, her ey es br imming wit h t ear s.
Br ing her home safely , and, she looks at t he floor and
my hear t br eaks as t he gest ur e r eminds me of Rav en, t ell
her I lov e her .
When I br ing her back, y ou t ell her y our self.
~*~
Raven
The dar k is cont agious. It spr eads fr om t he simple absence
of light t o somet hing bigger . Somet hing t hat seeps in t hr ough
y our ey es and mult iplies unt il it t akes y ou ov er . St ar t ing
wit h y our mind, it wor ks it s way t hr ough unt il it
ext inguishes t he last spar k of hope y ou hav e hidden deep in
y our hear t .
Ev er y t hing is dar k. The moonlight spilling t hr ough t he
window is only br ight enough t o illuminat e a squar e on t he
dir t y floor . The smell of wood r ot mat ches t he cr eeping dr ead
t hat fight s t o become my only companion. But I wont lose
hope. Not y et . Sooner or lat er , t heir guar d will dr op. Ill r un
and liv e in t he woods like t hat boy who was r aised by wolv es.
If it means hav ing my life back, Jonah back, I could do t hat .
Iv e wat ched t he moon squar e mov e acr oss t he floor . Dar k
st ains pepper it s sur face. Is t hat blood? What happens in t his
r oom? I r ace t o t he window and push up on t he lev er t o open
it . It doesnt budge. Again. Fear floods my body . Air r ushes in
and out of my lungs in er r at ic bur st s. A sob cr awls int o my
t hr oat . I hold it back. I wont let him win. I push it down,
numbing my self fr om t he inside out . Det ach. Separ at e my
mind fr om my body . That s t he only way t o sur v iv e.
I lie back on t he bed, t he only piece of fur nit ur e in t he
r oom. Calm, deep br eat hing, ey es closed. I imagine t he bed
beneat h me is Jonahs. Hes next t o me, his ar m t hr own ov er
my st omach. My hear t r at e slows. His br eat h kisses my cheek
as he whisper s how much he lov es me. My muscles r elax. He
t wir ls a st r and of my hair ar ound his finger . The cor ner of
my mout h lift s.
Foot st eps. Im t hr own fr om my fant asy . My body sit s up
r amr od st r aight , ey es wide.
Each st ep is t ent at iv e, like someone sneaking down t he
hall. They sound close as t he wood floor cr eaks out side my
door .
My hear t r aces. Could it be Jonah?
I r ush t o t he door and pr ess my ear t o it . The knob t o t he
door jiggles and t wist s. I walk backwar ds unt il my legs hit t he
bed. Hope and r elief sur ge t hr ough me in wav es.
Tear s build at t he joy of seeing Jonah again. My skin
it ches for his t ouch. Im pr act ically bouncing on t he balls of
my feet . The door inches open, r ev ealing t he t all, dar k figur e
of a man.
I squint int o t he dar k. Jonah?
Nope, but y ou can go ahead and pr et end. Wont bot her
me at all.
Vince. My st omach plummet s. Ter r or snakes t hr ough my
v eins.
He shut s t he door behind him. Wit h a slow st r ut , he comes
t owar d me. He passes t hr ough t he moonlight squar e,
illuminat ing his face. His ey es wor k my body , making his
int ent ions clear . I want t o scr eam, but dr ead fr eezes my most
pr imit iv e r eact ion.
You t hought I could let y ou go aft er what y our boy fr iend
did t o me in t hat par king lot ? He r uns t he t ips of his finger s
fr om my shoulder down t o my br east . It s pay back t ime.
No. My head mov es fr om side t o side, unable t o ar t iculat e
t he wor d. Fear , exhaust ion, and anxiet y get t he best of me.
He shov es me ont o t he bed. I scur r y backwar ds as fast as I
can. He gr abs my neck, pushes me down, and climbs on t op of
me. I whimper . It s not much, but it giv es me hope.
React , fight , somet hing.
You be quiet and Ill t ake it easy on y ou. If y ou fight , Ill
enjoy t hat , but y ou wont .
Holding my wr ist s t oget her ov er my head wit h one hand,
he r eaches down and unzips his pant s.
Oh God, please no.
He pins me t o t he bed wit h his hips. I kick and buck t o get
out fr om under him.
Fight it is. He licks my neck and bit es my ear lobe, har d.
Thisll be fun. His br eat h smells like liquor . I t ur n my face
t o av oid it .
St op. It s weak, but as t he wor d comes out so does t he
will t o sur v iv e. Get off
His hand silences me. My ar ms ache. My st r uggle is
point less.
He pr esses himself bet ween my legs. Twist ing and
t ugging, I t r y t o r ip my ar ms fr om his gr ip. Pain r ips t hr ough
my elbow. The only t hing keeping him fr om his goal is my
shor t s. His weight cr ushes my body . He anchor s me t ight er t o
t he bed. His mout h cr ashes against mine, dr owning my
scr eams. I fight and t hr ash, for cing my self deeper int o t he
bed. My mind scr eams for him t o bur st t hr ough t he door .
Jonah, I need y ou. What do I do?
Break his arm, baby. Arm bar. Remember. Fight.
I squeeze my ey es shut as Jonahs v oice st ills my r acing
t hought s. Tear s t r ail down my t emple. It may be panic or
some innat e sur v iv al r esponse, but my lesson on t he ar m bar
comes back in br illiant clar it y . I can do t his.
That s my gir l.
Wait ing for t he oppor t unit y is going t o be t he har dest
par t . I need t o st op fight ing so he can fr ee his hands. I br eat he
deep and st op squir ming.
Change y our mind? Not going t o fight me any mor e?
I shake my head no.
Yeah, I knew y ou wer e a whor e.
He slides his hand ov er my br east t o t he but t on of my
shor t s. Wit h one hand, he pushes t hem down my t highs.
Unable t o get t hem past my knees, he let s go of my wr ist s and
sit s up.
Oppor t unit y .
I say a pr ay er for st r engt h and mov e quickly . I gr ab his
r ight wr ist wit h bot h hands. His ey es dar t t o mine. I t hr ow
my leg ov er his ar m, st r addling his shoulder . He jumps in
sur pr ise. Br acing my weight on my shoulder blades, I cr oss
my legs at my calv es. His ar m r uns t he lengt h of my body ,
fr om knees t o chest .
He st r uggles and gr abs at me wit h his fr ee hand. You
lit t le bit
One power ful t hr ust of my hips t ur ns his wor ds int o a
scr eam. I pull his ar m t ight and flex my hips deeper int o t he
hold. I feel and hear a sickening snap at his elbow. Vince
howls in pain.
I did it .
Wit h a t ight hold, I r efuse t o let go. I keep my hips t hr ust
for war d and he cont inues t o y elp. Power sur ges t hr ough me.
Hes cr y ing out for me t o r elease him. Im locked down wit h
an unr elent ing gr ip. He kicks and holler s on t he bed.
Light pour s int o t he r oom, blinding me. I push my hips
har der , making Vince shr iek. Somet hing wr aps ar ound my
neck hands. They clamp down, choking me. I gasp and
wr it he. My v ision adjust s t o t he light . I st ar e int o t he blue-
gr een ey es of Dominick. His face is r ed wit h anger , jaw
clenched t ight .
And hes not let t ing go.
Thirty-two
Jonah
My t r uck eat s up highway as we blaze down t he
int er st at e. Hands v ise-gr ipped t o t he wheel. Ey es scanning.
Exit signs fly by in a blur of gr een and whit e. Blake is silent
beside me. His head dips t o t he hand-dr awn map t hen
for war d and back again.
I play out my st r at egy . No mor e polit e conv er sat ion and
deal-making. I know Dominick wont giv e up Rav en easily .
Not aft er what he went t hr ough t o get her . He had t his
planned all along, including hir ing Candy t o do his dir t y
wor k. I should hav e known.
Inwar dly , I ber at e my self for buy ing int o his bullshit .
How could I hav e been so st upid? Well, t hat shit aint
happening again. Ther e ar e only t wo way s t his confr ont at ion
will go. Dominick beat en int o a bloody pulp, left begging for
his pat het ic life, or Dominick dead. And Ill hav e t o
accomplish t his while keeping Rav en safe, or mor e
impor t ant ly , aliv e. Fuck.
Tur n left her e. Blakes dir ect ion calls me fr om my
t hought s.
A quick t ur n and wer e on an unpav ed r oad. I hit t he four -
wheel dr iv e and lay heav y on t he gas. Dir t and r ocks spit
fr om my back t ir es as we weav e t hr ough t he nar r ow
mount ain r oads. My ey es focus on t he pat h ahead.
For k in t he r oad. Blake point s ahead.
I dont hav e t o look at t he map t o know which way t o
t ur n. Milenas handwr it t en inst r uct ions ar e br anded in my
mind.
Pull off. Par k in t he t r ees. He dr ops t he dir ect ions on t he
dash and gr abs t he handle for a quick exit .
Pop t he box and gr ab my Eagle. I t oss him t he key t o my
glov e box.
Wit hin seconds t he cold met al of my fift y -caliber Deser t
Eagle war ms my hand.
I check t he clip. Fully loaded. We hop fr om t he t r uck and
hust le back t o t he dir t r oad. I shov e t he gun int o my
waist band at my back.
We jog down t he t r ee line, making sur e t o keep t o t he
shadows. The cool mount ain air inv igor at es me. It s close t o
t wo in t he mor ning. The t it le fight was only a few hour s ago.
It feels like ages. I should be exhaust ed, but Iv e nev er felt
mor e aler t .
We cr oss t o t he ot her side of t he r oad wher e a small light
shines like a beacon t hr ough t he t r ees.
That s got t o be it . I dont wait for Blakes r esponse, and
t ake off t owar d t he light .
The r icket y A-fr ame cabin st ands alone in t he mass of
pine t r ees, a one-lane dir t dr iv eway leading t o it . It s small,
pr obably t wo bedr ooms at most . This shit shack looks like it s
made of scr ap wood and spit . If I wer ent conv inced Rav en was
inside, Id dr iv e my t r uck full speed t hr ough t he fr ont fucking
door .
We st ep closer , caut iously keeping t o t he dar k in t he t r ees.
She has t o be her e. Some deep par t of me whisper s she may
not be, but I choose t o ignor e it . This is my only chance of
get t ing her back.
Somet hing cat ches my ey e fr om t he side of t he shack. I
cr eep closer . Bingo.
They r e definit ely her e. I mot ion t o t he hundr ed-
t housand-dollar Benz par ked in t he t r ees next t o a black Lexus
sedan.
What do y ou want t o do? Just knock on t he door and st ar t
bust ing caps in his pompous ass? Blakes idea would usually
make me smile, but t her e isnt a hint of humor in his v oice.
Hes dead fucking ser ious.
Let s check out t he windows fir st , t r y t o get an idea of
what wer e dealing wit h. If I cant get a handle on what s
going on in t her e, Ill kick t he mot her fucking door down.
Sounds like a plan. Blake mov es t owar d t he cabin.
I gr ab his shoulder , needing t o say somet hing befor e we do
t his. What ev er happens in t her e, y ou get her out .
Under st and?
His ey ebr ows dr op low. If shit get s ugly , Im not leav ing
y ou
Dont wor r y about me. Just get her out and far away .
Blake put s his hands on his hips and dr ops his head, a
st r ing of cur ses flowing in a whisper .
Pr omise me.
He meet s my ey es, his jaw t ight . He shakes his head.
Blake, please.
His gaze swings t o t he t r eet ops for a second t hen back t o
me. All r ight . Ill get her out .
Good. I nod. Now let s t ake t his fucker out .
We r un low t o t he gr ound t o t he cabin. I mot ion for Blake
t o t ake one side of t he shack, whisper ing for him t o check t he
windows. Well split up and meet in t he back.
I edge up under t he fir st window and peek inside. An
empt y liv ing r oom. No fur nit ur e except for a wooden-fr amed
couch. The ember s fr om an old fir e smolder in t he fir eplace.
My ey es scour t he ar ea. No sign of Rav en.
Wit h my back t o t he wall, I slide t o t he next window. It s
fr ost ed glass, pr obably a bat hr oom. I pr ess my ear t o it .
Not hing.
In a few mor e st eps, Im at t he back of t he cabin. Blake is
just r ounding t he opposit e cor ner . We meet at a single
window, our backs against t he wall on eit her side. The low
v ibr at ion of angr y v oices r umbles against t he glass, but t he
wor ds ar e indecipher able. Wit h a nod, we glance inside.
Holy shit , Blake whisper s t hr ough clenched t eet h.
It s dar k in t he r oom, but light fr om t he open door is
enough t o illuminat e t he scene. Vince and Dominick
sur r ound a small bed. They r e hunched ov er , like v ult ur es
picking away at t heir pr ey . I dont hav e t o see who t hey r e
holding down t o know who it is.
Adr enaline shoot s t hr ough my body , inject ed by a r ocket
launcher . The r oar of my pulse pounds bet ween my ear s. An
inst inct t o kill r ushes down my spine, juicing up my muscles.
My skin v ibr at es wit h let hal ener gy .
Get t he fuck off her !
I need t o dr aw t hem away , r edir ect t heir at t ent ion. I gr ab
my gun, point it at t he assholes. No. I cant r isk hit t ing
Rav en.
Wit h a flip of my hand, I use t he guns but t , and smash
t he window. Glass shat t er s, cut t ing t hr ough t he silence and
causing Dominick and Vince t o spin ar ound.
Well, fuck. I guess it s on now. Blakes wor ds r ing fr om
behind me as I r ace t o t he fr ont door .
I kick it open. The walls r at t le.
Pop.
Light flashes. I st umble back. Pain explodes in my
shoulder and down my ar m. I blink, pushing against t he
nausea and agony t hat t hr eat ens t o t ake me down. The
fucker shot me.
Shit . You okay ? Blakes quest ion is not hing mor e t han
st at ic t o my main concer n.
Wher e is she?
I scan dimly lit r oom, blinking away t he float er s fr om t he
flash of gunfir e. St anding at t he mout h of t he hallway is
Dominick and Vince. Bot h wit h guns r aised. Vinces is
smoking.
No, Jonah! Rav ens v oice comes fr om t he hallway .
Thank God, she s alive.
The confir mat ion sends r enewed st r engt h t o my mind
and muscles.
I st r aight en fr om my t or t ur ed huddle, sucking air
t hr ough my t eet h. Fuck, this hurts. Then point my gun wit h
my good ar m. Let her go, Dominick. My v oice sounds
st r onger t han I feel.
You br oke int o my home, Mr . Slade. I could kill y ou r ight
her e, in cold blood, and get away wit h it . Dominicks v oice
cr acks wit h anger or fr ust r at ion. Im not sur e.
Dominick, please dont . Rav ens appeal ends on a
whimper .
Is she hurt? I sear ch in her dir ect ion, but cant make her
out in t he dim light . Shes blocked in t he hallway behind t he
bulk of t he dicklicks who br ought her her e.
Not t r ue, asshole. In or der t o get away wit h it , y oud
hav e t o st ay aliv e. And I can pr omise y ou, if I go down, so will
y ou. My aim is st eady , head clear . I br eat he deep and heav y ,
wor king past t he pain.
Well, we can put t hat t o t he t est , alt hough, Id r at her not
hav e t o deal wit h hiding dead bodies t onight . Dominicks
t one sounds genuinely put off.
Cut t he bullshit . I st ep closer , making sur e t o speak
slowly so he under st ands. I will not leav e t his place wit hout
her .
His lips cur l back ov er his t eet h. Oh, but y ou will. We
made a bet . You lost .
Wav es of failur e wash ov er me. You had no int ent ion of
let t ing her go, did y ou? If Id lost t he fight , y oud just walk
away ?
A chuckle r umbles fr om deep in his chest . Br ains and
br awn. Impr essiv e. And her e I t hought y ou wer e just a dumb
jock.
I fucking knew it. This guy play s by his own r ules. I cant
believ e I fell for it .
My injur ed ar m mov es on it s own accor d t o st eady my
aim. Your e de Dammit. Pain blazes at my shoulder .
Vince snor t s wit h laught er . Not so st r ong now, ar e y a?
You may hav e t aken me down in a sur pr ise at t ack at t he
club, but I dar e y ou t o come at me now.
Blake pulls a lar ge hunt ing knife fr om t he back of his
pant s. He spins it in his hand befor e he t akes a fight ing
st ance. He giv es me a quick chin lift and focuses on t he men
acr oss t he r oom.
Let me go. Rav en pushes at her capt or s, t r y ing t o get
past .
My blood scr eams t o get t o her , t o t hr ow her ov er my
shoulder and kill any one who st ands in my way . It s my only
opt ion. I mov e. Dominick y anks her t o his fr ont , his gun at
her head. I st op mid-st r ide.
Not one mor e st ep, Slade. His gun is pr essing against
her t emple, her head t ur ned away fr om t he weapon, ey es
scr ewed shut . Her chest heav es wit h heav y br eat hs or
possible hy st er ia.
I push t he ur ge t o kill down deep. Right now, I need t o
make sur e shes unhar med.
Baby ? I need t o see her ey es, r ead in her expr ession t hat
t hey didnt hur t her . They better not have hurt her. Baby , look
at me.
My gun is on Dominick. His on her . Vinces mov es back
and for t h bet ween Blake and me.
Jonah Desper at ion laces t hr ough my name as her
wor ds t r ail off. She blinks open her ey es and t ur ns t owar d me.
Her st ar e is wild, t he aquamar ine almost glowing against
t heir r ed r ims. A lar ge, bleeding gash cut s t hr ough her
ey ebr ow. Whit e-hot fur y explodes deep in my chest . Visions of
what could cause t hat kind of wound flash befor e my ey es.
None of t hem good. I ment ally shake away t he possibilit ies of
what wouldv e happened if we hadnt got t en her e when we
did. Going r at -shit cr azy wont help any one and may
jeopar dize her safet y . I need t o focus on keeping her safe.
I lock ey es wit h her , hoping t o God she sees somet hing
t her e t hat makes her list en. This shit is about t o get ugly , and
I need her as far away fr om it as possible.
Baby , ar e y ou hur t ? Any wher e besides y our head?
She shakes no. I want t o go home. Jonah Hy st er ical
cr ies bur st fr om her lips.
My st omach t wist s. I know, baby . Im her e t o t ake y ou
home. I pin Dominick wit h a glar e. Let her go.
Not a chance. Dominick pushes t he gun har der int o
Rav ens head, making her wince.
My finger t wit ches against t he t r igger .
You dont know what t hey did W-What t hey wer e going
t o The sound of her soul-shaking sobs r ip t hr ough t he small
r oom.
Im finished t alking, Slade. Walk away . Now. Or she
dies.
I ignor e Dominick. Rav en, ev er y t hings going t o be
okay . The look of t er r or in her ey es has me inching closer t o
comfor t her .
The mov ement sends Dominicks gun in my dir ect ion.
Good.
Vince closes in. Blake follows suit . Tension boils in t he air
like acid. It s a four -way st andoff. Whoev er shoot s fir st , wins.
Blood dr ains fr om my shoulder in a st eady dr ip. My v ision
blur s at t he edges. I need t o end t his befor e I pass out . Rav en,
baby . I st agger a st ep. Shit.
He t r ied t o r ape me. Her wor ds ar e spit at Vince.
Dominick dr ops his head wit h a mut t er ed cur se.
My ey es ar e dr awn t o her shor t s, opened and unzipped.
Oh, fuck no. Fir e flar es in my gut . My v ision r et ur ns wit h
cr y st al accur acy , but all I can see is blood. I should hav e
ended him t hat night in t he par king lot . He may t hink he
knows what pain is, but Im about t o giv e him a lesson in
agony .
I swing my aim t o Vince, st ep close, point blank r ange.
Im going t o fuck y ou up, y ou no-good piece of shit . My
wor ds shake wit h t he for ce of my anger .
You bet t er st ar t apologizing, asswipe. My fr iend her es
about t o put a bullet in y our br ain. The r age in Blakes v oice
t ells me hes walking a t hin line of cont r ol.
Vince and I face off. My gun t o his face, his t o my chest .
Im v aguely awar e of t he ot her people in t he r oom, but r ight
now Iv e got sniper v ision and Vince is in my cr osshair s. Kill
fir st , explain lat er .
Just fucking end t his, Dominick. Vinces gun shakes in
his hand. I not ice hes not using his ot her ar m t o br ace t he
weight of his weapon, but inst ead has it cr adled t o his body .
Giv e me t he go ahead t o t ake t his guy out . It s t he least I
could do aft er what t hat whor e did t o my ar m
I lower my gun t o his gr oin.
Pop.
Aar gh! His scr eam of agony has him dr opping t o t he
floor along wit h his gun. He cur ls int o t he fet al posit ion
whimper ing.
I kick his weapon away . I war ned y ou.
Blake scoops it up and aims it at t he miser able mound of
flesh on t he floor . Wont be using t hat t ool ev er again, eh
Vinnie?
Vince wr it hes once and t hen goes st ill. Pr obably passed
out .
Big mist ake, Slade. Dominick shout s and t he sound of
Rav ens cr ies fill t he r oom.
I swing my gun t owar d him. His ar m v isibly flexes
ar ound her waist , making her gasp for air . I t ake aim, but feel
my confidence dr aining along wit h t he blood t hat flows down
my ar m.
You dont get it . Shes mine. You want t o shoot me? Go
ahead. But if I die, I t ake her wit h me. He mov es t owar d t he
door , dr agging Rav en wit h him.
I mov e t o block him. It s a r isk, but aft er ev er y t hing, I
dont believ e he would kill her now. He t hr ust s t he gun har d,
for cing her neck t o an awkwar d angle. Fuck.
Losing her once was a pain wor se t han deat h. I will not
lose her again. I t ake anot her st ep.
Hes gonna kill her , man. Blakes wor ds speak t o t he
r aging beast in my head.
My shir t and jeans ar e soaked in my blood. I fight for
consciousness. Blinking har d, I for ce my self t o t hink clear ly .
Plans, ideas t umble in my head, heav y as it list s on my
shoulder s. Im r unning out of t ime. Ther es only one opt ion
left .
Fine. I lower my gun t o t he gr ound, t hen st and, palms
for war d in sur r ender . You win.
You t oo. Dominick mot ions t o Blake t o dr op his weapons.
Jonah? Blakes ey es dar t fr om my shoulder t o my face,
asking t he quest ion, Have you lost your mind?
I nod for him t o dr op his weapons. He shakes his head.
Do it . Hell kill her . I hope my v oice sounds desper at e.
Blake dr ops his weapons and giv es me a I-hope-y ou-know-
what -y our e-doing look. Me too.
Dominick t r ies t o mov e past me. I st agger int o his pat h,
blocking his way .
Wait . I just need t o say one t hing befor e y ou go. My
wor ds ar e a st r ing of slur s.
I shut down my r at ional t hinking. Or what s left of it . Im
fir ing on pur e inst inct . Using t he one t hing t hat has y et t o fail
me. Im going t o fight .
My head dr ops for war d. Weakened fr om loss of blood, I
gat her my r emaining st r engt h. Im not looking t o beat him,
only t o buy enough t ime for Blake t o get Rav en out of her e.
Dominick mov es his gun-holding hand ar ound her waist ,
and digs in his pocket for somet hing. Car key s may be.
Rav ens sobs t ight en my chest , making it har d t o swallow.
Hang in t her e, baby . I hav e a plan.
No t ime for par t ing wor ds, Im afr aid. If y ou boy s will get
t he fuck out of my way , my daught er and I
Shes my daught er !
~*~
Raven
My mom is her e. She said Im her daught er . The fer ocit y
of her wor ds shakes t he deepest cor ner of my soul.
Milena. Dominicks v oice sounds bor ed, but his muscles
t ense at my back. What t he fuck ar e y ou doing her e? He
looks bet ween her and Jonah. You br ought t hem her e? He
aims t he gun at her . You st upid, bit ch!
She doesnt flinch.
I wont let y ou t ake her . She st eps closer , her back
st r aight , conv ict ion bur ning in her ey es. Let her go.
And if I dont ? What ar e y ou going t o do about it ? He
shakes wit h laught er . Look at y ou. Your e pat het ic and
weak.
Not any mor e. Her v oice is fir m, not t he slight est
t r emble. Im not t hat nav e gir l any mor e. She pins
Dominick wit h a glar e. Do y ou r emember t hat night ?
Twent y -one y ear s ago t o t his day . Just a few y ar ds fr om
wher e wer e st anding.
I was bor n her e?
His gr ip loosens and he leans t owar d her . Of cour se, I
r emember . You gav e her t o me t hen. You didnt want
any t hing t o do wit h her . Wouldnt ev en hold her .
I t wist my neck away fr om his dev ast at ing wor ds.
Hear t br eak slashes t hr ough my body , t hr eat ening t o dr op me
t o t he floor .
Rav en? My moms v oice is t ender .
Her soft expr ession cont r adict s t he t or t ur e t hat wor ks
behind her dar k br own ey es.
Im so sor r y . Id lost my par ent s. She exhales a quick
br eat h and dr ops her head. I couldnt bear t o lose y ou t oo. It s
no excuse. I know t hat now.
Tear s st r eam down my face as her public apology seeps
int o my soul.
You ungr at eful bit ch, Iv e giv en y ou ev er y t hing. You
wer e not hing when I sav ed y ou fr om y our shit t y life.
Dominick shout s acr oss t he r oom, t hr owing his wor ds like
weapons.
She sneer s in his dir ect ion. I would r at her liv e a
t housand liv es wit h not hing t han t he one Iv e liv ed wit h y ou.
You used my fear s against me t o get what y ou want ed. Her
v oice cr acks. Rav en was my baby . The r oom r ev er ber at es
wit h t he emot ion behind her wor ds.
Her baby. War mt h blooms in my chest . I st ar e, shock and
amazement fr eezing my v oice.
But she was nev er mine, was she? You made t hat clear
fr om t he beginning.
Goose bumps r ace ov er my skin. She was pr ot ect ing
her self. This whole t ime I t hought she hat ed me.
I cr eat ed her
Shes a human being, Dominick. Your e messing wit h
peoples liv es. She doesnt want t his. She t akes a st ep t owar ds
us, her shoulder s t all and her expr ession fear less. Let her
go.
Shes her e. Fight ing. For me.
Dominicks gun st ay s aimed at her . Blake and Jonah st and
close, muscles t ense, ey es dar t ing.
She lift s her chin in defiance. Hes going t o kill her . And
shes willing t o die t o fr ee me.
I cant let t hat happen.
I fight t he t ear s t hat br im in my ey es. It t ook st r engt h for
her t o come her e and r isk her life. I wont r epay t hat wit h
fear . Iv e wait ed my ent ir e life t o feel my moms lov e. And
now t hat I hav e it , I r efuse t o lose it . We can fight t o sav e each
ot her .
Your t ime is up, Milena. And who bet t er t o r eplace y ou
t han y our own daught er . He r uns t he cool met al of his gun
down my cheek. She looks like y ou. Mov es like y ou. He
gr abs a handful of my hair and pulls it , making me cr y out .
She pr obably ev en fucks like y ou.
Piece of shit ! Jonahs v oice r umbles t hr ough t he r oom.
You st ay t he fuck out of t his, Slade. Dominick point s his
gun at my mom.
Dont wor r y , dar ling. Ill t ake good car e of her . He kisses
my cheek. I lean away fr om him. His gr ip t ight ens. Gun
cocked. Good-by e, Milena.
Jonah mov es fast . Im t hr own t o t he floor . My head
smacks t he har dwood. Pain lances t hr ough my skull, and
br ight st ar s flash behind my ey es. I st r uggle t o sit up,
blinking. Jonah has Dominick on t he gr ound. They push and
pull for t he gun in a deadly t ug-o-war .
Oh, God.
Blake pulls me up. Baby gir l. Let s go.
He dr ags me t o t he door , hooking my mom ar ound her
shoulder s, and pushing us out .
No! I squir m in his hold. Im not leav ing him.
Blakes biceps t ight en. Hes t oo st r ong. Please, Blake. Let
me go!
He dr ags us down t he st air s. Ev er y st ep escalat es my need
t o r un back. I will nev er giv e up my fight for Jonah.
Cant . I pr omised
I wont lose him! Im kicking and flailing.
His st eps slow.
I cant liv e wit hout him. I cont inue t o claw at Blakes
ar ms. I st omp har d on his foot .
Shit . A deep gr oan r umbles fr om his chest . Hes going
t o kill me. His wor ds ar e mumbled beneat h his br eat h.
And t hen Im fr ee. My will t o sav e Jonah bur ns in my
muscles as I spr int t owar d t he cabin.
I dar t int o t he r oom. Jonah and Dominick ar e st ill locked
in a v icious bat t le. I slide acr oss a slipper y pool of Vinces
blood.
Ther es commot ion, y elling. I look up t o see Dominicks
gun point ed at Jonahs face. I need t o mov e fast er .
A gun. I scur r y on all four s. Blood cov er s my hands. Tear s
blur my v ision. I fumble wit h t he weapon. Cr awling t owar d
t he fight . Jonah locks ey es wit h mine. His feat ur es t wist in
undilut ed panic. Dominicks ar m get s loose. The gun pr esses
below Jonahs chin. No! The gun slips fr om my gr ip, I
scr amble for it wit h shaking hands. I get it , r aise my hands t o
aim, and pr ay Im not t oo lat e.
Pop-Pop-Pop.
Thirty-three
Raven
The r oom is st ill. Pain r adiat es fr om my ar ms, seeping
int o my shoulder s. People ar e y elling, but it sounds as if Iv e
got cot t on balls in my ear s. Muffled and incoher ent . Whit e
noise r ings in my head, along wit h my hammer ing
hear t beat .
I push my self up. The weight of t he gun dr ops fr om my
hand. Dominick is down. His body st ill. His chest v oid of t he
r ise and fall of br eat h.
Dead. I killed him.
Someone pulls at my ar m. They want my at t ent ion, but I
cant look away fr om t he mor bid scene befor e me. Out of t he
cor ner of my ey e I see Jonah. Hes sit t ing up. Blake is shout ing
in his face, but I cant hear what hes say ing.
Jonahs gaze swings t o mine. The r ed blood splat t er ed on
his face is a gor y cont r ast t o his pallid skin. His ey ebr ows ar e
low and his face pinched. I wat ch his mout h mov e, able t o
make out t he single wor d. Baby.
My br eat h hit ches. It s ov er . Im fr ee.
As if summoned by my t hought s, he r ushes t o me and Im
in t he safet y of his ar ms. The gent le sway of his body r ocks
me, and I clut ch his blood-soaked shir t . He cups my cheek
wit h his good ar m, holding me t o him. I feel t he pr essur e of
his mout h against t he t op of my head. His lips mov e against
my scalp, but his wor ds ar e v ibr at ions. I pull away and wat ch
his lips.
I love you.
A smile t ipt oes acr oss my face.
I love you too. My lips mov e, t he cadence of my v oice
hums in my t hr oat , but I can bar ely hear it . He pulls me back
t o his chest .
I cant for ce my self t o look away fr om Dominick, his
expensiv e-suit ed cor pse ly ing in a pool of his own blood, a
gr im r eminder of what Iv e done. What I had t o do t o sav e
Jonah and my mom. And my self.
I sear ch t he r ecesses of my hear t for r egr et , guilt , hor r or .
Not hing. Iv e just killed my dad, t he man r esponsible for my
life. And all I feel is r elief.
~*~
Jonah
You guy s okay ? Blake walks up fr om my t r uck t o t he
st eps of t he cabin wher e Rav en and I sit .
As soon as I could, I dr agged Rav en out of t her e. It was t he
only way t o get her t o st op st ar ing at Dominicks dead body .
I hav ent left her side, except t o r un in and clean
Dominicks filt hy blood off my face. The makeshift t our niquet
I pulled t oget her wit h a r ipped sheet has my head clear ing.
Bet t er . Wer e st ar t ing t o get our hear ing back. I r un my
lips along t he t op of Rav ens head, br eat hing in deep. You
make t he call?
Yeah. Made it on my way t o t he t r uck. They should be
her e soon. St anding on t he lower st ep, Blake leans against
t he banist er . Need any t hing?
I giv e Rav en a squeeze. Baby ?
She shakes her head.
Milena is sit t ing on a r ock near by , but she keeps her
dist ance, pr obably not sur e how Rav en feels about her . What
she did t onight r edeems her in my book. I owe my ent ir e life
t o Milena. But ult imat ely , for giv eness is Rav ens t o giv e.
Minut es t ick by befor e sir ens and br ight light s descend on
us. An ambulance, fir e t r uck, and a handful of police car s pull
up t o t he cabin. Par amedics and cops unload in a hur r y unt il
wer e sur r ounded by unifor ms.
Mr . Slade, Im Kev in. One EMT t hat r ushed out fr om t he
back of t he ambulance meet s us on t he st eps. He pulls back
t he fabr ic of my shir t t o examine my shoulder . Can y ou
walk?
Yeah. Take car e of her head. Ill wait . I mot ion t o Rav en
who is slumped against my good side.
Kev in sidest eps and pulls back Rav ens hair t o check out
her for ehead. Maam, ar e y ou injur ed any wher e else?
She glar es at me, but doesnt ar gue. No. Just t he cut on
my head.
A smile pulls at my lips. I look for war d t o a lifet ime of
dir t y looks fr om her .
All r ight . Mr . Slade, let s get y ou int o t he ambulance and
get some IV fluids st ar t ed. Ill hav e Roger come and t ake car e
of
My wife. I glar e at Kev in. Make sur e Roger knows.
The sound of Rav ens giggle is bet t er t han any pain
medicat ion.
Yes, sir , Assassin. By t he way , gr eat fight t onight . The
eager EMT is a fan. Good to know.
Yes, it was. I lock ey es wit h Rav en. Best fight of my
life.
Kev in put s his hand out t o help me up. Im t ir ed and dizzy
fr om blood loss, but t his guy looks like a noodle in scr ubs. I
shake him off and push t o st anding. Oh, shit. Gr ipping t he
handr ail, I squeeze my ey es shut , willing t he v er t igo away .
Rav en pr esses int o my side, using her body as suppor t unt il
my head st ops spinning.
She walks me down t he few st eps t o t he dir t . I pull her in
for a hug befor e wer e dealt wit h by our assigned EMTs.
The angr y mar k abov e her head is no longer bleeding. I
r un my knuckles down her cheek, gr at eful t hat a cut is all
t hey got on her . Get y our head t aken car e of. I kiss her
longer t han I should for t he audience we hav e, but fuck em.
A t eam of EMTs r ush int o t he cabin. Roger scur r ies up
wit h some kind of a field medical kit and get s t o wor k on
Rav ens head.
I dr ag my body t o t he ambulance wher e Kev in asks me t o
climb inside.
Mind if y ou t r eat me out her e? Ther es no way Im
let t ing Rav en out of my sight . It should be comfor t ing being
sur r ounded by cops, but wit h Dominicks far r each, I need t o
st ay aler t .
Oh, I dont
I spear Kev in wit h a glar e t hat has him nodding.
Yeah, sur e t hing, Assassin. Ill just pop a st r et cher up
her e.
Thanks.
Kev in mov es some equipment t o just out side t he
ambulances back door s. He mov es ar ound my shoulder doing
some shit . I dont pay at t ent ion, but inst ead keep my focus on
my gir l. I pull my ey es away fr om her t o wat ch t hem wheel
Dominicks sheet -cov er ed cor pse fr om t he cabin. Vince is next .
It looks like t hey v e got him awake and t alking. I should have
aimed higher.
A cop wit h a not e pad asks me quest ions. I answer t hem
unt il hes sat isfied and walks away . He mov es t o quest ioning
Rav en next . Milena jumps t o her side.
Hey , man. Hows t he shoulder ? Blake plops down next t o
me at t he back end of t he ambulance.
It s all r ight . Im not concer ned about my fucking
shoulder .
Bot h Milena and Rav en t alk and nod as t hey most likely
r et ell t he night s ev ent s. I wish I could hear what t hey r e
say ing.
Shes going t o be okay , y a know.
I dont t ake my ey es off my gir l. How do y ou know t hat ?
She just killed someone.
Blake shr ugs. Cops said t hey d been looking for
somet hing on Mor r et t i for y ear s. The guy s oper at ion was
locked up t ight er t han a Roy ce Gr acie shoulder hold. This
lit t le sit uat ion was t he Golden Goose t aking a big fat dump
r ight in t heir laps.
I dont say any t hing, but God, I hope hes r ight .
Guess ole Vinnie st ar t ed singing like a canar y t he second
t hey got him conscious. Fucker gav e away ev er y t hing. Ev en
t old t hem he r oughed up Guy and st ole his cell phone.
He r oughed up Guy ? Is he okay ? Wait , does Rav en
know? I wat ch Rav en. Her body language is r elaxed. They
must be finishing up.
Yeah, hes good. A few br uises and a gnar ly concussion.
That s how t hey got Rav en out of t he ar ena. They sent her a
t ext fr om Guy s phone. Fucking assholes. Thr eat ened t o kill
him if she didnt cooper at e wit h Candy .
The name gr at es on my ner v es. And what about her ?
They gonna ar r est her ?
He leans back, cr osses his ar ms ov er his chest . Yup. Shell
go down for kidnapping and what ev er else t he pr osecut or can
scr ape up.
I exhale a long br eat h. Guess keeping Vince aliv e was a
good t hing.
Dont y ou let her cr y one t ear for t hat dick. Blake looks
t o t he ambulance t hat holds Dominicks body t hen back t o
Rav en. Shes a sweet gir l, and sweet gir ls feel shit for shit t y
people. Dont let it eat her up inside. She sav ed y our life.
I t ur n a glar e on my fr iend. Yeah, she did. And dont
t hink Iv e for got t en about y our br oken pr omise, ass.
Dude, she for ced me. I got her out , but she t hr eat ened t o
t ell t he women of Vegas t hat Iv e got a needle dick. He
t hr ows his hands up in mock sur r ender . I cant let t hat
happen. Iv e got a r eput at ion t o uphold.
How har d is it t o keep a fucking pr omise?
He shr ugs, but has t he decency t o look embar r assed.
Your gir l can be per suasiv e.
Ass. I chuckle and t ur n back t o Milena and Rav en,
making a ment al not e t o t ake it out on him in t he oct agon
once my shoulder heals.
Milenas fucking hot as hell. Ther es a smile in his v oice.
I glar e at him, but cant help t he cur l in my lips. Ar e y ou
ser iously t alking about my gir ls mom? Sick fuck.
What ? I know hot when I see it , and Milenas smokin.
He st ands and holds out his hand. Key s. Ill follow Milena
home in t he t r uck and br ing it by in t he mor ning. Im
assuming y oull be r iding down t he hill in t his. He mot ions
t o t he ambulance. Id offer t o t ake Rav en home, but knowing
y ou, y ou aint let t ing y our gir l out of y our sight for well,
ev er .
I t oss him my key s. Thanks, man.
He looks away and nods. Guy code for , no problem, you d
do it for me. Fuck y eah, I would.
Blake t ur ns on his heel.
Hey , B. You keep y our dick t o y our self ar ound Milena, y a
hear ?
He st ops, looks t o t he gr ound, and shakes his head. He
cont inues walking and t ur ns ov er his shoulder . I dont do
chicks wit h kids, r emember ?
I laugh t o my self and wat ch as Rav en finishes up. She
t ur ns away fr om t he gr oup of police who fr ant ically fill t heir
not e pads and heads in my dir ect ion. She has a blanket fr om
t he EMT wr apped ar ound her shoulder s. Her head wound is
clean and cov er ed wit h a but t er fly bandage.
St anding, I pull her int o my ar ms. Hey . I push t he
blanket down t o kiss her neck at my spot . You okay ? She
cur ls in t ight , just like she alway s does, as if she was car v ed
fr om my own for m.
Yeah. Im gr eat . The smile in her v oice is unmist akable.
Mr . Slade, it s about t ime we get going, Kev in say s fr om
inside t he ambulance.
Come on. Let s get t his ov er wit h so we can go home. I
mov e t o help her inside t he v ehicle.
Oh, no, she cant come. Kev in wags his finger as I one-
ar m lift Rav en int o t he ambulance. But if she want s t o, she
can meet y ou um
Rav en and I ar e inside, set t led on a st r et cher , complet ely
ignor ing his r ant .
Well, okay . I guess she can come. He must finally
r ealize t hat hell be r iding in anot her v ehicle befor e she does.
Smar t kid.
Thanks, Kev in. I pull Rav en int o my ar ms and kiss her
head. I appr eciat e y our flexibilit y .
Rav ens body jumps wit h silent laught er as she hides her
smile in my chest . I wr ap her up t ight er , t hinking about how
close I was t o losing t his. Losing her .
The ambulance fir es up and we head back t o Vegas.
Rav ens br eat hing slows t o t he r hy t hm of sleep. Ev en wit h
my shoulder on fir e, t ir ed as hell, and minus a shit load of
blood, I dont sleep. Inst ead, my mind conjur es plansplans
for t he fut ur e we now hav e sealed. And Im not wast ing a
single second.
Kev in, I need y ou t o do me a fav or .
Sur e t hing, Assassin.
I need t o make a phone call.
~*~
Raven
Beep-Beep-Beep.
The gent le sound br ings me back t o consciousness. I blink
sev er al t imes int o t he dar k befor e lift ing my head fr om my
war m pillow. I obser v e my sur r oundings, t hankful t o see t he
light s of medical equipment r at her t han log walls. Im not in
t he cabin, but in t he hospit al wit h Jonah.
My head swir ls wit h t he ev ent s fr om t his mor ning. The
cops t old me t hat Guy was safe. They ev en gav e me a phone
so I could call him. He apologized for not being at t he fight t o
pr ot ect me. I r eassur ed him t hat Dominick was out t o get his
way , no mat t er what .
Kat her ine showed up and sat wit h my mom while Jonah
was poked and x-r ay ed. The doct or said t hat t hat t he bullet
went st r aight t hr ough wit hout injur ing any t hing v it al, but
t hey had t o do sur ger y . Thr ee hour s lat er , we wer e put in a
pr iv at e r oom. I assur ed Kat her ine and my mom t hat I was
okay . Ther e was no way I was leav ing Jonahs side. I t r aded
my bloody clot hes for a pair of clean scr ubs, cr awled in bed
wit h Jonah, and fell asleep.
A y awn cr awls up my t hr oat and I lie back down in t he
cr ook of Jonahs uninjur ed shoulder .
Good mor ning. His sexy , sleepy v oice does delicious
t hings t o my body . Ev en laid-up and hospit alized, hes
ir r esist ible.
Good night , y ou mean. I walk my finger s t o his
abdomen, pulling his hospit al gown up t o slide my hand
against his r ippled muscles.
He r eaches for my face but dr ops his hand wit h a gr oan.
Shit , t hat hur t s.
I t ilt my face t o his and smile. Looks like y our e going t o
hav e t o keep t hat hand t o y our self.
Not a fucking chance. Come her e. His demand is fir m
and sexy .
I br ush my lips against his chin. Thank y ou, Jonah.
Thank y ou for finding me.
And t hank y ou for sav ing me.
My cheeks heat and I bur y deeper int o his chest .
Howr e y ou holding up? You know, wit h ev er y t hing?
His hand t r aces soot hing pat t er ns on my back.
Um Im good. I feel like I should feel somet hing, y a
know? Guilt or r emor se. I just dont . I huff out a br eat h.
The cops said t his mor ning t hat no char ges ar e being filed.
Just ifiable homicide and all t hat .
You want t o t alk about what happened wit h Vince? His
muscles t ense against my body .
Not much t o t ell. He t r ied t o
A deep gr owl r umbles in Jonahs chest .
Yeah, pr obably best t o skip t o t he end. You t old me t o
br eak his ar m. So I did. I hear t he wor ds, and ev en I t hink
t hey sound cr azy . But it s t he t r ut h.
I t old y ou?
I cir cle his belly but t on wit h my finger . Yeah. In my
head. You t old me t o fight . You said arm bar. I shr ug. You
wer ent ev en t her e y et , and y ou wer e pr ot ect ing me.
Ill alway s pr ot ect y ou. He hugs me t o him. Not t hat
y ou need it . My gir ls t ough as nails. Im pr oud of y ou.
Inwar dly , I smile. Im pr oud of my self.
Fuck, I wish Id killed t hat son of a bit ch.
Nah. He deser v es t o liv e t he r est of his life behind bar s.
Deat h is t oo easy .
He laughs in a quick bur st t hen gr oans. Ugh, r emind me
not t o do t hat again.
St ar t ing at his neck, I t r ail soft kisses t o his jaw. Poor
baby . I push up t o meet his ey es. I lov e y ou.
His hand slides up my back int o my hair . I lov e y ou t oo.
So much.
He t akes my lips in a br ut al kiss t hat I feel in my t oes. I
moan int o his mout h as our t ongues glide against each ot her .
Desir e floods my v eins as I explor e his mout h. His st r ong lips
dominat e mine, molding t hem t o his will. I r oll his nipple
bet ween my t humb and for efinger . He gr oans and his hips
flex off t he bed.
Pushing up, I pr ess my br east s int o his chest , t ilt ing my
head and delv ing deeper int o t he kiss.
He br eaks away wit h a hiss. Fuck.
The whisper ed cur se sends me back and sit t ing up.
Shoot , did I hur t y ou? I t ouch him and jer k my hand away ,
afr aid of hur t ing him again.
No, but if we dont t ake t his home, Im afr aid Ill be for ced
t o giv e t he good doct or and his unsuspect ing nur ses a v isual
aid in sex educat ion. He shift s and adjust s t he blanket s t o
camouflage his ar ousal. It doesnt wor k.
A giggle bubbles up fr om my chest , and my hand cov er s
my mout h. Somet hing r ough on my finger r ubs against my
lips. What the heck?
My mood sober s as I examine my hand, palm down,
finger s splay ed. It s on my r ing finger . A gold band composed
of t iny diamonds wit h one lar ge r ound diamond in t he cent er .
The set t ing is old-fashioned, under st at ed, and absolut ely
per fect . I st ar e in awe.
The cool air bur ns my ey es. Im unable t o blink. I for ce
my ey es t o Jonah whos smiling his t housand-wat t smile: all
t eet h, t wo dimples, and shining ey es.
Jonah? I whisper , my ey es asking t he quest ion my
wor ds cant for m.
The r ing was my moms. My dad gav e it t o her when
t hey got engaged, and she wor e it ev er y day , unt il t his
mor ning. She br ought it by when y ou wer e sleeping. He
pulls my hand t o his chest and nimbly spins t he r ing on my
finger .
Rav en, I fell in lov e wit h y ou t he second I saw y ou. I
t hought I had my life mapped out , t hought I had it t oget her .
Then y ou came along and flipped my wor ld on it s head. You
make me want t hings I nev er knew I needed. This r ing is
mor e t han a sy mbol of my lov e. It r epr esent s family . Our
family . The one well build t oget her . You said y ou didnt want
t o t alk about our fut ur e unt il y ou knew we had a fut ur e t o
t alk about . Well, now we do. So? Will y ou mar r y me?
Our family . Our fut ur e. Now t hat we hav e one.
He st ar es at me, his ey ebr ows r aised. I t ast e t he salt y
t ear s as my lips cur l at t he edges. A slow smile cr eeps acr oss
his face.
I st udy t he per fect r ing t hen lock ey es wit h him. Okay .
His face split s int o a smile. Okay . He kisses me deep and
har d, possessiv e.
My insides t ur n t o liquid. I explor e ev er y cur v e of his
r ippled st omach, and his muscles flex beneat h my t ouch. My
nails dig int o his skin and dr ag down lower , unt il t hey r e
under t he blanket s t hat lie acr oss his hips. He flexes int o my
t ouch, showing me what he want s. Me.
Oh, one mor e t hing. He br eaks t he kiss enough t o speak,
but his wor ds ar e said against my lips.
An embar r assing whimper escapes at t he loss of his
mout h. Yeah? I lean int o him.
He r ubs his t humb acr oss my aching lower lip. Happy
bir t hday , baby .
The wor ds ar e bar ely out befor e Im on him again.
Desper at ion t akes ov er my r at ional mind and I pull at his
gown. Too many clothes.
A v oice clear s fr om t he end of t he bed, popping t he lov e-
dr iv en sex bubble wed cr eat ed. I cur l int o Jonahs body ,
hoping t o disappear fr om whoev er caught me making out
wit h my injur ed boy fr iend. Fianc.
Well, well, well. Looks like someones feeling bet t er ,
Blake say s fr om t he foot of t he bed, mot ioning t o t he pile of
t hin hospit al blanket s at Jonahs cr ot ch.
I say a quick pr ay er of t hanks t hat it s Blake and not
Kat her ine. Hey , Blake.
What s up? Jonah act s unaffect ed as he t wir ls a st r and
of my hair .
Just came back fr om t he police st at ion. Dominicks
oper at ion is under int ense inv est igat ion. Thought y ou t wo
would like t o know Vince and Candy ar e going t o be looking at
t he inside of a jail cell for t he for eseeable fut ur e.
Jonah and I t ake a collect iv e br eat h.
Blake gr imaces. Vinnie should be t he most popular guy
in his cell block. They couldnt sav e his dick so t hey gav e him
a pussy . Boy s in pr ison should lov e t hat .
Blake! I at t empt t o sound offended, my hy st er ical
laught er r uining any chance I hav e of being t aken ser iously .
Besides, t hat s t he least he deser v es for what he did t o Ev e,
me, and pr obably loads of ot her women who wer ent lucky
enough t o get away .
I see y ou got a decent piece of ice t her e on y our finger ,
baby gir l.
I hold up my hand and admir e t he r ing again. Yeah.
Jonah kisses my head at my br eat hy r eply .
Right on. Ill leav e y ou t wo lov ebir ds alone. He holds up
his hand. Wor d of caut ion, t he doc is on his way in t o check
on y our shoulder . You might want t o keep Mr . Moby on t he
down-low. He looks at t he bed t hen back at us. Looks like it s
t oo lat e for down-low, so under wr aps.
Dude, y ou mind keeping y our ey es off my dick?
He flashes his cocky smile. And ev en in t he ar ms of t he
man of my dr eams, his smile makes me giggle like a t eenage
gir l. He winks t hen t ur ns on his heel and heads t hr ough t he
dr aped div ider s.
Cat ch y ou t wo lat er . Got a hot lit t le nur se whos wait ing
t o giv e my dick an or al exam.
I laugh har d, t r y ing t o keep my body fr om shaking at it s
int ensit y . Hes so funny .
Yes, so y ouv e said. Jonahs deadpan t one makes me
gr in.
Ooh, ar e y ou jealous? I t ouch t he end of his nose wit h
my finger t ip.
Hmph. No.
I slide my lower lip out in an exagger at ed pout . Oh.
That s t oo bad. I was going t o pr ov e my feelings for y ou
phy sically . I kiss t he sensit iv e skin below his ear .
Is t hat r ight ? I can hear t he smile in his v oice.
Mm-hm. I like y ou jealous.
Get used t o it , baby . He gr oans when I pull his ear lobe
bet ween my t eet h. You know y our e mine now? To hav e and
t o hold t il deat h do us par t .
I do.
Epilogue
Two months, five days, and twenty-two hours later
Jonah
For t y -t wo million dollar s? Owens palm slams on t he
bar , his jaw slack, ey es wide.
I pop t he bot t le cap and place t he fr esh beer in fr ont of
him. Pr oject ed. It ll t ake awhile t o liquidat e all of Dominicks
pr oper t ies. We knew Dominick was loaded wit h dir t y money ,
but finding out about his mult iple luxur y high-r ise condos
and commer cial pr oper t ies was a sur pr ise.
Rex leans in, his pier ced ey ebr ow r aised high. No shit ?
What r e y ou guy s going t o do wit h all t hat money ?
Yall should buy one of t hem pr iv at e islands. Like
Opr ah. Caleb mot ions one of t he cat er er s ov er and pops a
bacon-wr apped shr imp in his mout h.
For t y -t wo million dollar s. Owen r epeat s himself,
sounding no less shocked. Fuck t he island. Kick some cash t o
y our boy s, man.
Dominick Mor r et t i dies and y ou guy s get all his money ?
Fuck Rex shakes his head. I wish my dad was a dead-
piece-of-shit pimp. He t hr ows back t he dr egs of his beer .
Rav en was his next of kin. It s her money . Shes got plans
for it .
Caleb st ands fr om his bar st ool. Bet ween her money and
y our money , y all could buy up half of Vegas.
Nah. My t it le-fight winnings look like pennies in
compar ison. I flex against t he st ifling confinement of my
jacket . I cant wait t o get t his t ux off. Rav en is excellent wit h
for mal-wear r emov al. My blood heat s and has me sear ching
her out .
Shes on t he dance floor t hat t he par t y planner s put in my
backy ar d. Blake spins her ar ound, her whit e wedding gown
swir ling at her feet . The st r apless t op pushes her br east s up in
an ent icing way . I absent ly t ug at t he collar of my t uxedo. It s
loose, r eminding me t hat I t ook off my t ie and unbut t oned t he
t op but t on while r av ishing my wife in t he limo on t he way
home. I cant wait t o peel t hat dr ess off her .
So what s she going t o do wit h all t hat money ? Owen
pulls me fr om my fant asy .
I t ake a swig of beer . She bought her mom a house. And
she st ar t ed Rav ens Nest .
Yeah, I know t hat , but what about t he ot her t hir t y -
somet hing million?
She plans t o funnel it all int o t he foundat ion as it comes
in.
I look for Milena in t he cr owd. Since t hat night at t he
cabin, shes been t he kind of mom Rav ens alway s want ed:
at t ent iv e, lov ing, hands on. The ot her day , I walked in t o find
t hem flopped on t he couch wat ching Ov er haulin. Their ey es
wer e r iv et ed t o t he scr een while Milena t wir led a st r and of
her daught er s hair .
Bet ween Milena, my mom, and Ev e, Rav en has been able
t o get Rav ens Nest open and r unning. The foundat ion
pr ov ides r ehabilit at ion, job t r aining, housing, and counseling
for pr ost it ut es get t ing out of t he business. The place is alr eady
packed wit h t he gir ls fr om Dominicks st able.
That s some cool shit , man. Rex t oy s wit h his lip r ing.
What s cool shit ? Her v oice dr aws my at t ent ion. No
longer t he gir l who cant cur se, Rav en can dr op bombs wit h
t he best of t hem. She st r olls up wit h Blake at her side.
I believ e t hey wer e t alking about me, baby gir l. Blake
gr abs a beer . Dont know if y ouv e not iced, but Im cool as
shit .
Caleb st ands fr om his bar st ool and pushes it t owar d her ,
offer ing her a seat . Wer e t alking about Rav ens Nest .
Blake plops down on t he bar st ool, ear ning a glar e of Caleb.
Thanks, dude.
She st eps in beside me, champagne in hand. A slight
blush color s her cheeks. Oh.
I wr ap my ar m ar ound her t iny waist and hug her t o me.
Your e in t he r unning for saint hood wit h t hat mov e,
pr incess. Owen shakes his head. Dont know if Id be able t o
giv e away t hat kind of money .
Ev e slides in bet ween Blake and Rex at t he bar . Rav ens
not about money . Hell, shed giv e away ev er y last cent if it
meant t aking car e of someone else. She gr abs t he open beer I
just set down in fr ont of Caleb and t akes a swig. Thanks,
Caleb.
Shit , man, Caleb mumbles in fr ust r at ion.
Rav en sips her champagne and shr ugs. That money isnt
mine. It belongs t o t hose women. They sold t heir bodies and
he r eaped t he benefit . She checks t he clock and t ur ns back t o
t he guy s at t he bar . Im just giv ing it back t o t hem.
The guy s all gr umble t o t hemselv es, pr obably st ill
shocked t hat Rav en didnt keep ev en a few million for her self.
Ev e shakes her head, a knowing smile on her face.
Any one up for a t wir l on t he dance floor ? Her ey es r ake
acr oss t he av ailable dance par t ner s. Come on, Blake.
Shit , woman. I just got off t he dance floor . Giv e a guy a
second t o r eboot . Blake kicks back, r est ing his feet on t he bar .
Ev es face light s wit h a wicked smile. Ah, y es. That s
r ight . Most guy s cant go all night long. The weak ones lack,
ahem, st amina. She looks at me. How about y ou, Jonah?
You look like t he kind of guy who
That s for shit . Blake jumps t o his feet . I got way mor e
st amina t han he does. He mot ions t o me wit h a t humb ov er
his shoulder . Dance floor now, woman.
Ev e winks at Rav en and t akes off wit h Blake.
I t ur n Rav en t o me and pull her in for a hug, chest t o
chest . The guy s r edir ect t heir at t ent ion t o t he TV. I r un my
finger along her bar e shoulder and up t o her neck, pushing
her long hair t o her back. These ear r ings y our mom gav e
y ou look amazing. They r e almost t he same color as y our
ey es. I kiss her neck at my spot .
She t ouches t he diamond and aquamar ine st uds. She t old
me t hey wer e my gr andmot her s. I lov e t hem. They r e
per fect . This whole day has been per fect . She smiles. I st ill
cant believ e we got mar r ied by Liber ace.
Hey , y ou chose him. We could hav e had t he Asian Elv is,
or t he Mar ily n Monr oe dr ag queen.
She laughs and leans int o me. I wr ap my ar m ar ound her
and kiss her head.
It was t he r hinest one suit t hat got him t he job. Ev er y
single inch of t hat t hing was cov er ed.
Only in Vegas.
Did y ou see Guy dancing wit h my mom? I t hink hes got
t he hot s for her . She scr unches up her nose in an ador able
way .
It was nice of him t o giv e y ou away t oday . Hes a good
man. Milena could do wor se.
Her huge blue-gr een ey es look up at me. You dont t hink

I shr ug, my lips t wit ching. They d make a cut e couple.

Eww. That d be like
Like y our mom and y our dad hooking up.
Now it s her t ur n t o shr ug. Good point .
Did y ou sav e me a dance, Mr s. Slade? My whisper ed
wor ds in her ear cause her t o t r emble. I t r ail a line of kisses
down her neck.
Um, sur e. She t ilt s her head, opening up for me. But
it s fiv e.
I pull back and lock ey es on her . So?
She looks t o t he sixt y -inch flat scr een hanging on t he wall
behind me. Her for ehead dr ops a fr act ion, and she looks up at
me fr om beneat h her bat t ing ey elashes.
Ev en on y our wedding day ? I cr oss my ar ms ov er my
chest . I hav e ev er y int ent ion of giv ing t his gir l any t hing she
want s as long as we bot h shall liv e. But I do enjoy wat ching
her squir m.
Hey , y ouv e been wat ching ESPN. Same differ ence. She
finishes wit h her hand on her sexy hip.
I lean in and kiss her for ehead at my new spot . The slight
scar t hat slashes t hr ough her ey ebr ow does not hing t o mar
her gor geous face. You win.
Wit h a flip of t he r emot e, I swit ch ESPN t o her show. She
kisses each of my dimples and finishes at my lips.
Ov er haulin? Fuck y eah! Coolest wedding r ecept ion
ev er . Caleb r ounds t he bar for a bet t er v iew.
Oh wow. Rav en sips t he last of her champagne. It s a
66 For d Fair lane GT. She doesnt t ake her ey es fr om t he
scr een.
Ov er haulin on her wedding day makes her giddy . So
easy t o please.
I wr ap my hands ar ound her waist and hoist her up t o sit
on t he count er . She kicks her whit e, Chuck Tay lor clad feet
back and for t h.
Owen leans in, his head r est ing on his hand, ey es t o t he
TV. Whos t his Chip Foose guy ?
My lips fight a smile as Rav en goes int o a det ailed
biogr aphy of t he aut omot iv e designer . I hand her a fr esh glass
of champagne and a piece of wedding cake t he wait st aff
passed out ear lier .
Ooh, y um. She t akes t he glass and a bit e of wedding
cake. Thanks, honey .
I gr oan at her calling me honey and kiss t he fr ost ing fr om
her lips. She st ar t ed doing t hat aft er t he night at t he cabin. I
t hought not hing could sound as good as my name fr om her
lips. I was wr ong. Your e welcome, baby .
Uncle Jonah, Er ic and Aiden call in unison fr om t he
pool. The six-y ear -old t win boy s jumped in about an hour ago.
I leav e Rav en t o her show and walk t o t he pools edge.
What s up, r ug r at s?
Come swimming wit h us, Aiden say s befor e
disappear ing under wat er .
Yeah, do t hat t hing wher e y ou t hr ow us acr oss t he pool
t o t he deep end. Er ic spins in a cir cle, making speedboat
sounds.
Boy s, y our uncle cant swim t onight . He has guest s t o
ent er t ain, my sist er calls, walking t owar d me.
Your moms r ight , guy s. But I pr omise Ill swim wit h y ou
all day t omor r ow. Deal?
Deal, t hey answer befor e swimming off t o t he ot her side
of t he pool.
Bet h leans int o my side and I t hr ow my ar m ar ound her
shoulder .
Im r eally happy for y ou, big br ot her . I got t a say I nev er
t hought y oud set t le down.
I laugh and giv e her a squeeze. Your e not t he only one.
Shes r eally special, Joey . Iv e only known her for t wo
day s and Im in lov e wit h her .
She has t hat effect on people. I kiss her head. Im glad
y ou guy s ar e her e. I know it was shor t not ice.
We wouldnt miss it for any t hing. She sips her dr ink. I
will say it was a r at her shor t engagement .
I nod. When God hands y ou a gift , y ou dont push it away
and t ell him lat er .
She smiles up at me. Dad would be pr oud of y ou. Youv e
gr own int o an amazing man. Just like him.
Emot ion bur ns my ey es. I swallow har d, absor bing t he
weight of her wor ds and let t he silence speak for me.
Im going t o go find my husband and make him dance
wit h me. She br eaks t he silence, and wit h a quick hug, she
walks away .
I t ur n back t o wat ching my gir l fr om a dist ance. She
laughs in t he cent er of a bunch of muscle-head fight er s, as if
she was bor n t o be t her e. Id like t o t hink she was.
My hear t swells wit h pr ide. Ther es just a shadow left of
t he shy aut o mechanic t hat walked int o my house wit h her
head down. This cour ageous woman confr ont ed her life head-
on. Faced her demons. And won.
And shes not hoar ding t hat st r engt h, but choosing t o
shar e it wit h ot her s. Giv ing t hem a chance t o beat back t he
cir cumst ances of t heir liv es and bend it t o t heir will. Iv e
nev er seen t hat kind of beaut y . Unt il now. And shes wear ing
my r ing.
~*~
Raven
It s lat e. I dont know what t ime it is. Im sway ing on an
empt y dance floor wit h my husband. Our guest s ar e long
gone, leav ing us alone at last . Jonahs st r ong ar ms and br oad
chest cr adle me t o him. Cont ent and r elaxed, I r eplay t he day
in my head.
My mom helping me int o my dr ess, wr apping me in her
ar ms, t elling me she lov es me. It s as if Dominicks deat h cut
some inv isible t ie t hat held her back, and now shes able t o
lov e fr eely , wit hout r est r aint or fear of loss. To lov e me t he
way shes alway s want ed t o. Or possibly t o show t he lov e shes
alway s felt .
Guy walking me down t he aisle. His snor t and ey e r oll
when he saw t he flamboy ant imper sonat or , only t o get t ear s
in his ey es when he gav e my hand t o Jonah.
And my Jonah. The int ensit y of his st ar e as he said his
v ows. As if hear ing t he wor ds wer ent enough, he want ed me
t o feel t hem.
Our fir st kiss as husband and wife, his hands t r av eling
down my body t o cup my bot t om in fr ont of ev er y one. Okay ,
t hat was a lit t le embar r assinghot but embar r assing. My
body didnt hat e it . That was obv ious when I had t o hold ont o
Jonah as I wait ed for my legs t o st ar t wor king again.
It was per fect . Ev er y single second.
Jonahs sist er and mom hav e been st ay ing her e wit h us,
but t hey insist ed on get t ing hot el r ooms for t he night . We had
t he opt ion of get t ing t he hot el r oom, but decided wed r at her
spend our fir st mar r ied night at Jonahs houseour house.
So her e we ar e, alone beneat h t he st ar s, locked in each
ot her s ar ms. Jonahs hear t beat s against my ear . We st op and
kiss t hen go back t o t he gent le sway . Time st ands st ill.
Baby ?
Mm-hmm? I swallow a y awn.
Im r eady t o t ake y ou t o bed now. He st ops mov ing as if
t o punct uat e his wor ds wit h a st op-dancing-and-get -y our -ass-
in-our -bed exclamat ion point .
My pulse quickens and excit ement wakens my body . I st op
sway ing and look up at him. His ey elids ar e dr opped low wit h
want . I inwar dly smile at my effect on him. I lock my hands
behind his neck and push up on my t ipt oes while pulling his
mout h t o mine.
Elect r icit y hums bet ween us as our lips connect . Spar ks
explode beneat h my skin wit h ev er y t ouch. Ev er since t he
cabin, ev er y t hing bet ween us is mor e int ense, like wer e
sucking ev er y second out of life as we feast on each ot her s
bodies.
His hand slides up fr om my waist , ov er my r ibs, and st ops
just beside my br east . I moan and ar ch my back in an
at t empt t o get him closer , but his hand st ay s put .
Wit h long, deep pulls, I suck his t ongue int o my mout h.
His answer ing gr oan t ells me hes at t he edge of his r est r aint .
He dips down, scooping me int o his ar ms and heads for t he
house, nev er br eaking t he kiss. The spice of his cologne, all
masculine and sensual, liquefies my need. My finger s sift and
gr ab at his silky hair , pulling him down.
Two st eps int o t he house, he st ops and lay s me on t he
couch.
Cant wait . His husky v oice v ibr at es against t he t ender
skin of my neck.
I t oe my shoes off just befor e he pushes t he skir t of my
dr ess up t o my waist . A gr oan r umbles in his chest as he t akes
in what Im wear ing beneat h my wedding gown. I pr op up t o
my elbows, enjoy ing t he v iew of Jonah on his knees st udy ing
my br idal linger ie.
Do y ou want t o see t he r est ? My v oice is deep and
dr ipping wit h desir e.
He car esses my legs, ev er y swipe of his callused hands
sending heat st r aight bet ween t hem. Ther es mor e?
Wit h a t easing kiss, I st and. Giv ing him my back, I unzip,
and slowly peel t he fabr ic fr om my body .
A hiss slips fr om bet ween his t eet h as my dr ess dr ops t o
t he floor . He likes it.
I peek ov er my shoulder t o see him sit t ing, his ey es fixed
on my bot t om.
He st ands up and st eps int o my space, so close I can feel his
heat against my skin. Tur n ar ound.
I do just t hat , but st ep back, out of his r each.
Wit h a slow sweep of his gaze, Im t r embling.
His ey elids dr op low and a pr edat or y glint flashes acr oss
his ey es. Come her e, Mr s. Slade.
My legs bur n t o obey his ev er y command. But I wit hhold.
Uh-uh. Your e going t o hav e t o come and get me.
His ey es lock on mine, fir e bur ning behind t heir hazel
dept hs. He t ilt s his head t o t he side, ey ebr ows r aised. Yeah, he
likes t he challenge.
You want t o be chased. He st eps t owar d me.
I st ep back.
Like a shot , he mov es, swiping at me wit h his power ful
ar m. Ant icipat ing his mov e, I wheel ar ound and dash t owar d
t he hallway . Excit ed giggles bubble up fr om my chest , fly ing
out on a squeal. I make it t o t he hallway ent r ance befor e his
st r ong ar ms wr ap ar ound me fr om behind.
Got cha. The wor d is spoken at my ear .
I moan in r esponse. He car r ies me t he few shor t st eps t o
our bedr oom door . He r eleases me, and I flip ar ound. His ey es
ar e dar k and hungr y . My st omach flips and dr ops low.
He adv ances on me, and wit h ev er y st ep for war d, I t ake
one back. My legs hit t he bed. He closes in. I r oll my lips, eager
for his cont act . He t r aces t he t op of my whit e cor set wit h a
bar ely -t her e t ouch. My br east s push against t he lace,
ov er flowing at t he t op. He t r ails his finger s down t he cent er of
each br east wher e t he dar k-skinned t ips show t hr ough t he
delicat e fabr ic. He cir cles t hem wit h slow, agonizing mot ions.
I par t my lips t o accommodat e my quickened br eat h. He
cups my br east s, finally giv ing t hem t he at t ent ion t hey so
desper at ely need. Bending down, he sucks my nipple int o his
mout h, a t or t ur ous ecst asy t hat dr ops my head back wit h a
moan.
Jonah. The ur gent plea falls fr om my lips.
His hands mov e down t he r ibbing of my cor set t o my hips.
He slides his finger s beneat h t he bar ely t her e fabr ic of my g-
st r ing. My body war ms as he lov es me wit h his t ouch.
Feat her -light kisses cov er my neck as he slides his hand
int o my pant ies. A moan cat ches in my t hr oat . My legs
wobble.
Lie down, baby . His wor ds ar e spoken against my skin,
my body obey ing his command. Ther es not hing I wouldnt do
for him as his finger s push me t o t he edge of my cont r ol.
I lie on t he bed. He pulls my pant ies down t o my knees,
but doesnt t ake t hem off. They r e st r et ched t aut bet ween my
bent legs, keeping t hem fr om falling wide open.
He wor ks bet ween my legs, my body bending t o his ev er y
whim. I need mor e. I pop my br east s fr om t heir lacey
r est r aint and ar ch my back, offer ing t hem up t o him.
His ey es lift and widen. Gr eedy lit t le wife.
I r oll my hips against his hand, affir ming his wor ds.
His mout h locks ar ound my nipple. Blood r aces t hr ough
my body , muscles clenching in euphor ic sat isfact ion as I cr y
out my r elease. Weak wit h sat iat ed bliss, my legs st r ain t o fall
apar t . He cont inues t o nip at my br east s.
I gr ab at his shir t , pulling at t he but t ons.
You fir st . He r olls me t o my side and unlaces t he
cr isscr oss r ibbon at my back, r emov ing my cor set . I kick off
my pant ies, and he pulls his whit e dr ess shir t fr om his body .
I suck in a br eat h as my ey es t ake in t he cir cular scar at
his shoulder . The ev idence of his her oism. His br av er y wor n
like a badge, for ev er impr int ed on his skin, like his t at t oos. A
smile t ugs at my lips as I st udy his newest . Right ov er his
hear t , my name in scr ipt wit h beaut iful black wings
ext ending fr om eit her side.
I lov e y ou, Jonah.
He doesnt answer wit h wor ds, but inst ead kneels bet ween
my legs. My knees fall open wide. He mov es ov er me and lies
in t he cr adle of my legs, t he fabr ic of his dr ess pant s r ubbing
against my bar e flesh.
He br aces his weight abov e me wit h his muscled ar ms. I
want y ou off t he pill, baby .
Huh? Im not sur e what my face looks like, but it feels as
if it s gaping.
I know it s soon. But , since when do we do t hings on a
t imeline? I want t o st ar t our family . He kisses my neck t hen
bit es me gent ly . What do y ou say ? His mout h cont inues it s
t or ment .
Mmm.
That a y es or a no, baby ?
A r eal family . One t hat we make t oget her . Im r eady . I
flex my hips.
Wit h shining ey es and his t wo glor ious dimples, he giv es
me a smile t hat near ly st ops my hear t . Really ?
Yes.
Wit hout anot her wor d, he r eleases himself fr om his pant s
and in one t hr ust , bur ies himself complet ely . I lock my legs
ar ound his hips, our chest s pr essed t oget her so t ight I can feel
his hear t beat against mine. His hands cup my face and I
place my hand on his jaw.
He mov es, slow and beaut iful, lov ing me in a gent le
r hy t hm t hat br ings t ear s t o my ey es. His gaze locks on mine,
and t he affect ion pour ing bet ween us t hr eat ens t o ov er whelm
me.
I wat ch t he pleasur e build. His per fect whit e t eet h dig int o
his lower lip. His ey es fight t o st ay open against t he mount ing
fr enzy . Pleasur e coils deep my belly . I ar ch my back and dig
my feet int o t he mat t r ess.
I dont want it t o be ov er t oo soon. I lock down his hips
wit h my heels.
He st ops and t akes a deep br eat h. No need t o hold back,
baby . We hav e for ev er .
Forever. The wor d echoes in my head and I r elease him t o
mov e.
Im fr ee. Fr ee t o liv e happily wit h Jonah. No mor e t hr eat s
t o our fut ur e. Fr ee t o fly .
His pace quickens, and his muscles t ight en wit h each
st r oke. I lift my hips, sear ching for mor e, deeper , har der .
Passion, t r ust , and lov e spir al t oget her unt il it explodes fr om
my body , and I cr y out his name. He gr oans int o my neck,
bit ing down on my shoulder and his pace int ensifies. Wit h one
last t hr ust , his body r elaxes ont o mine.
Our chest s heav e in unison, t he soft moans fr om t he
aft er mat h of our lov e-making fill t he r oom.
He slides in and out in lazy st r okes. Sor r y our fir st t ime
as husband and wife was um fast . I blame t he dr ess. And
t he st uff y ou had on under it .
I r un my hands t hr ough his hair , for cing him t o look at
me. His shy smile makes him look y ounger and almost
embar r assed. We hav e for ev er , r emember ?
He closes his ey es and leans int o my t ouch. Yeah. His
ey es flut t er open and he t ur ns t o look ov er his shoulder .
What ? I lean t o t he side and look down our joined bodies
t o t he end of t he bed. I guess someones feeling left out .
Dog is cur led up in a ball at Jonahs feet . He giv es us a
sleepy meow.
Jonah t ur ns back, shaking his head. I cant believ e y ou
t alked me int o br inging t hat t hing home.
Jonah. Hes my r esponsibilit y . I couldnt just leav e him
t o fend for himself like some kind of
Alley cat ?
Ugh. You know what I mean. I giv e Jonah a play ful
shov e and he r olls off and t o my side. His finger s dr aw
inv isible pat t er ns on my st omach. Id be sick if I mov ed away
and no one was t her e t o t ake car e of him. Ev er y one needs
someone.
I nev er t hought Id hav e any t hing in common wit h a
mangy cat . His lips cur l at t he edges. We bot h need y ou.
He mov es fr om my st omach t o my for ehead t o t r ace my scar .
His smile falls. I almost lost y ou.
No, nev er . I wouldv e fought . Howev er long it t ook. Id
nev er giv e up unt il I was fr ee. Your e my life, Jonah. My
family , my lov e, my best fr iend. Not hing, not ev en dest iny ,
could keep me fr om y ou.
He leans for war d and br ushes his lips against mine.
Okay .
~The End~
A Note to my Readers
I hope y ou enjoy ed Fight ing for Flight . Please t ake a moment
t o leav e a r ev iew on Smashwor ds.
The next book in t his series wil l be Fighting to Forgive.
Fast and hard, just the way he likes it. Blake Daniels flies through life
the way he burns through women: on his terms, no regrets.
His fight ing car eer in full swing, he has no need for
at t achment s. He knows what he want s, but when a haunt ing
secr et fr om his past t hr eat ens his fut ur e, he t eet er s on t he
edge of sanit y .
Shes t hr ough wit h men. Aft er t he fift een-y ear mar r iage
t hat nev er should hav e happened, Lay la Moor ehead mov es on
t o st ar t a new lifeone t hat focuses on making amends for t he
ir r epar able damage shes caused her sixt een-y ear old
daught er .
Saddled wit h shadows fr om t heir past , t heir liv es come
cr ashing t oget her in a v iolent mix of passion and bet r ay al.
Is lov e enough t o ov er come hist or y ?
Or will t hey be left Fighting to Forgive?
Acknowledgements
There are so many people to thank, make sure to look f or your name.
Its probably on here.
To my husband and my girls, thank you f or allowing me the time to
write this book with minimal complaints and guilt trips. You guys are my
world. I love you.
To my mom, Gale West, your love and support gave me the
conf idence to give writing a try. Thank you f or believing in me.
To Evelyn Johnson, thank you f or listening over a glass of wine as I
f irst voiced my idea. Your excitement f or the story gave it wings. Your
companionship while doing my research in Vegas was invaluable. Ill be
f orever gratef ul f or your encouragement.
Thank you to my f amily and f riends f or believing in me. You know
who you are.
To the amazingly talented Elizabeth Reyes, thank you f or taking time
out f or newbie writer and pointing me in the right direction. You have a
f orever-f an in me.
To Jenny Aspinall, and Gitte Doherty. Thank you f or championing my
idea to write a MMA romance.
Thank you to Chris Letts who never stopped encouraging me f rom
start to f inish.
To my f riend and Las Vegas connection, LeAnne Zinke, thanks f or
the inside scoop.
To all my amazing critique partners, Jacki P, Travis Casey, Hijo,
Carroll Sully Sullivan, and Kaci Persnell, each one of you contributed
something dif f erent and invaluable to this story. You guys kick serious
ass.
Thank you to my amazing critique partners and betas, Claudia Handel
and Nicola Layouni. You girls rock.
To my gorgeous Sister Wives of Writing, thank you f or all the times
we stayed up late messaging about anything and everything, Ill be
f orever gratef ul.
To Cristin C-Spice Harber, thank you f or never saying no when I
needed a riding partner on the Pity Train. Your steadf ast attitude, constant
encouragement, and f aithf ul f riendship kept me sane. Youve taught me
so much about writing, and Im honored to have a f ront row seat as the
world of publishing opens its doors to your talent.
Sharon Shexy Cermak, my Sister f rom Another Mister, f rom
prologue to epilogue, youve been a guiding f orce. Im f orever indebted to
you f or your commitment and support.
To Amanda Simpson at Pixel Mischief , thank you f or book. You have
an amazing gif t.
A huge thank you to Theresa Wegand f or her superhuman editing
skillsthank you f or saving me f rom looking like a complete idiot. Your
keen eye and attention to detail is exceptional.
And f inally, to you, my readers, thank you f or giving me a shot at
storytelling. It truly is a pleasure unparalleled. I hope you come back f or
more.
JB
About the Author
JB Salsbury lives in Phoenix, Arizona with her husband and two kids.
She spends the majority of her day as a domestic engineer. But while she
works through her daily chores, a world of battling alphas, budding
romance, and impossible obstacles claws away at her subconscious,
begging to be released to the page.
Her love of good storytelling led her to earn a degree in Media
Communications. With her journalistic background, writing has always
been at the f oref ront, and her love of romance prompted her to sink her
f ree time into novel writing.
Fighting f or Flight is her f irst novel in the MMA romance series.
For more inf ormation on the series or just to say hello, visit JB on
Facebook or Goodreads.
http://www.f acebook.com/JbSalsbury?f ref =ts
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6888697.Jamie_Salsbury