The Church of Last Thursday

The largest church in the world

For You created the world on Thursday so as to expire on Thursday, in order to test yourself.
We, the Last Thursdayists, followers of Last Thursdayism, members of The Church of Last Thursday, believe:
that the universe was created on Thursday, and will expire on Thursday. that the universe was created by You as a test for yourself. that you will be rewarded or punished when this universe expires based on your actions here. that left-handedness is a sinful temptation. that everyone but you was placed here and pre-programmed to act as parts of your test environment. that everyone but you knows this.

The details of our faith istory You are the creator of the universe. You created this universe last (that is, this most recent) Thursday at noon, and it will expire next (that is, this upcoming) Thursday at noon. verything you perceive as predating last Thursday was planted by You in order to create the impression of an ancient universe governed by natural laws. This planted evidence includes all of your memories and all physical evidence of prior events. You created the universe as a test for you. veryone who is not you is an aspect of You, placed here to complete the environment for the test. veryone but you is aware of this. Your Test The purpose of this one-week test You created for yourself is to discover the limits of your own !udgment and character. Character You expect of yourself ethical behavior, including treating others well, given the illusion of the reality of this universe. "art of this universe is the illusion of the existence of others. You are expected to treat others as you would wish to be treated. You also expect yourself not to perform left-handedly. You may have feelings or urges of lefthandedness, but these are shameful and sinful feelings, and it is wrong to act upon them. This is not to say you are precluded from using your left hand at all, only from favoring it. #or instance, it is acceptable to You to hold the pot with your left hand while you stir with your right, but it is not acceptable to write with your left hand. !ud"ment $ key part of exercising sound !udgment is being skeptical. You expect this skepticism to include disbelief in such things as %od or gods, telekinesis, homeopathy, astrology, faith healing, and ghosts. &uman belief in these things was created by You as a temptation for you. You are not expected to believe in 'ast Thursdayism, since belief would re(uire faith. )n fact, believing in it would cause you to at least partially fail the !udgment part of the test You set out for yourself. You are expected to treat 'ast Thursdayism as a religion* no more, no less. Conse#uences )f you succeed at this test of ethics and !udgment, you will be back to Your former +elf, with the attendant power to create universes. )f you fail, you will be tortured in proportion to your failure. This torture will be infinitely worse than anything you can imagine or that is described in planted memories or works in this universe.

Catechism of the Church of Last Thursday

) heard about this a week ago, and expected the world to end on Thursday. ,hy didn-t it. verything that indicates that this universe existed before last Thursday, including all of your memories, was planted by You. That is, you remember having heard about this a week ago, but that is a false memory. The universe didn-t fail to end on Thursday, it !ust never existed before then, and you have been fooled into recalling otherwise. +o, you believe in %od. Yes, though not the %od of the /ible. ,e believe that You created this universe. ,hy do you sometimes capitali0e 1you1. ,hen we are referring to the creator, we capitali0e 1you1. %etting this right is more of an art than a science. ) am your %od. ) don-t feel like %od. ,e believe that You created the universe, then placed a copy of Yourself here to test yourself. This copy (you) doesn-t have the memories or powers of the original. &ow can ) be the same individual if ) am !ust a less-potent copy. The personalities are the same. /ut my personality is influenced by my history. That is an illusion. Your history before Thursday is all planted in your memory. )f ) am your %od, you must do as ) say2 ,e are programmed to provide the testing environment You specified. 3beying you is not part of the test. #urthermore, the copy of You here in this universe has no powers to force us, threaten us, or entice us to obey you, other than those all humans have. &ow can %od be only me. $nyone can read this website. To whom are you lying. 3nly You created this universe. veryone in this universe but you knows that You are the creator, so those who read this website know that it-s not about them. )f you-re so clever, what do you know about me. ,hat are my hobbies, what-s my middle name, etc.. That-s a (uite reasonable (uestion. The short answer is* ,e weren-t given that information. The long answer is that when You created this universe and all of us, your experimental controls, you didn-t endow us with perfect knowledge. The kind of knowledge we have is much like the kind of knowledge you have* our names, !obs, personal 1history1, a few good !okes, etc. ,e have a few additional pieces of knowledge about the true origins of this universe and its meaning. ,e also have a sixth sense 4 we know when we are talking to you. That is, we know it-s you. The other information is, frankly, not important to our task, which is to act as controls in the experiment centered around you. Those are the only extra bits we get. 3n the other hand, you get eternal omnipotent life, if you !ust stay ethical and exercise good !udgment. 5an ) !oin the church. You may, though it would make no sense. You have no reason to believe the truth of our gospel, so !oining would be an act of faith. "art of the test You set up for yourself was to avoid faith. )t must be hard to attract members. )n fact, everyone but you is already a member of this church, though they keep it (uiet. &ow can they be members and also not have faith. #aith is belief without evidence. veryone but you knows the truth of the creation and meaning of this universe, and has known it as long as they have existed. (That is, since Thursday.) ,e are not acting out of faith, but out of knowledge. This knowledge is so foundational, it is hard to

describe its origin. )t is not observational, but innate. ,e know it the way you know I am. 6ost people ) talk to about your church deny membership. Yes, they do. They are programmed to do so. They are programmed. Though we are all (including you) human, we are also all deterministic. ,e have been programmed to act in certain ways. &ave ) been programmed. 7o, though you are deterministic. You can think of this like you might think of an experiment in a chemistry lab. Though you don-t know what the tested reaction will do, you don-t assume the reagents have free will. )n a sense, you are the experiment, and we are the controlled factors. Your views seem to imply that no one has consciousness ,e disagree. 5onsciousness is not so binary as the ,estern 1tradition1 (which is not really a tradition but merely a planted history) would have you believe. #or instance, consciousness and free will are not the same concept. )t is true that none of us (not even you) has free will, as we are all deterministic. 3n the other hand, we are all conscious8 that is, we are all aware of our surroundings, have the impression of making decisions, feel pain and !oy, etc. ) saw someone preaching to a friend that (s)he is the creator. That was a setup. They both know that You are the creator. 'ike everything else, it was part of a show to test you. ,ell, )-m convinced, so )-m going to !oin. )f you exercise such poor !udgment as to act on faith, you will be punished more severely than you can imagine, and more severely than any human work describes. ,ho-s going to punish me. You are. ,hy would ) do such a thing. You will understand when this universe expires on Thursday. )sn-t this !ust solipsism. ,ell, solipsism is true, for you. 7onetheless, this is not solipsism, which is from the 'atin solus, alone 9 ipse, self. )t-s more like soltuism, from solus 9 tui, you. &ow can you say it-s 1from the 'atin1 if the universe was only created !ust this most recent Thursday. )t-s a figure of speech. )t would be more precise to say 1the evidence has been planted to indicate that this word is from the 'atin :1, but that-s a mouthful. ,ell, ) believe in %od because of Pascal's wager* )f ) choose to believe in %od and ) am right, ) will be rewarded forever in heaven. )f ) am wrong and there is no %od, then )-ve lost nothing. The wager was put here for you (by You) as a test, and it bites both ways* )f you choose faith, you will be punished (by You) much more severely than the 5hristian /ible describes. The calculation is now*

)f you choose to disbelieve in a god, you risk &ell, but it is nothing compared to the hell you risk by choosing to believe. )f you take "ascal-s argument seriously, you would be wise to choose not

to believe. +o, since everything was created Thursday, does this mean we live on a young arth. Yes, but as part of your test of !udgment you are expected to take the evidence at face value, and the evidence points to evolution and the /ig /ang as the best explanations for our existence. &ow can the universe be so young when this website has been up for more than a week. )t was not up before Thursday. $ny history of this website that you observe was planted here by You at the time of creation as part of the test. ,hy did the creator put you up to this. )t is part of the experimental procedure. You will understand the details on Thursday. ) write left-handed. ,hat should ) do. 'eft-handedness is an abomination before You. You should write with your right hand. You may have left-handed urges, but these urges are sinful and you are to ignore them until you con(uer them. )f you don-t wish to write with your right hand, you are not to write at all. Though this is also a sin, it is a lesser sin. )f you have already written (or desired to write) lefty, you will be punished. ;epent this perversion and depravity now, and you will be spared further punishment. ,ouldn-t switching to righty be acting on faith, and therefore verboten. 7o. <eep down, you know that left-handedness is unnatural and wrong. You don-t need faith to understand that. +ince the universe is expiring so soon, )-m going to (uit my !ob, insult my boss, and go on vacation until Thursday. $cting on faith this way will only buy you unimaginable pain in the afterlife. $ren-t you sad that you will no longer exist soon. ,e are not programmed to feel that melancholy. )s this a parody religion. 7o. ;eally. Yes, really. You may come across some parodies of 'ast Thursdayism, but that-s true of any religion.

Contact $nfo The 5hurch of 'ast Thursday is the largest organi0ation in the world8 it includes everyone but you. You can email any of us asking for information, but many of us are programmed to pretend to not know what you are talking about. )f you have a (uestion or comment, you can ask the owners of this site at