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The CDYCraziness Begins

It is unbelievable to me that we are here, back at the time and place when and where we talk about our annual Summer conference. Details are officially released this week, so they are soon to become rapid-fire, so let me just take a minute to fill you in on how we at AMCstudents plan to keep you in the loop. We have lost the word overcommunicate this year, so there are lots of places to get the info 1) Every update will be posted immediately online via email, Facebook, and our churchs new site, AvalonMC.com 2) Each CDYC update will be in printed form as well, given to students signed up for the conference. 3) Well direct you to CDYC.info! Continued on Page 2

UPCOMING EVENTS
iServeNY Information Meeting
Date: 03/02/14 from 4:00 PM to 5:30 PM This is an HSM student/parent information meeting about our 2014 Summer Mission Trip. We will cover

the heart of our trips mission, the cost, the pre-trip expectations, and the fundraising plan. You do not need to be signed up to attend. Meeting will take place in The Cellar WinterJam
Date: 03/20/14 from 5:00 PM to 12:00 AM

This year, with WinterJam happening on a weeknight, and school running an hour later, we will meet at the West Campus as soon as possible after the schoolday to bus to the Coliseum for the concert. We will host a signup online and in the lobby of ASM so we know for whom the bus will be waiting. Cost: $10 (concessions are your own expense) SkyZone Excursion
Date: TBA (Late March or Early April)

After a wonderfully generous donation, we will soon be able to make a trip to the trampoline place affordable for our students. We will look at the school calendars and take Spring Breaks into account before we send out the signup. The donation will be distributed evenly to all students. Cost: TBA (will not exceed $5) !

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The CDYCraziness Begins:

Pastor Bob

First-Run Details & Fundraising

We want to put every bit of CDYC information at your fingertips. Thats why we are posting so much in so many places online. But we also want to communicate with you in a deeper and more frequent way than we have in years past. One way well do that is by making phone calls to anyone who wants to hear directly about the conferences changes. Our hope is to create an environment where you, the parent, know what is going on, but also know that any changes will be communicated quickly. By overcommunicating we hope to find the best way to communicate for you. To be placed on a call list, shoot an email to Pastor Bob, or drop a call to (260) 747-1531. So, whats new about CDYC? Well Dates: Location: Cost: MSM from Saturday, June 21st to Tuesday, June 24th HSM from Wednesday, June 25th to Sunday, June 29th Both MSM and HSM conferences will be held at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, MI MSM conference price is $230* HSM conference price is $250*

If you are anything like me, the price jump this year took you a bit by surprise. Thats why we are taking to a new form of individual fundraising in 2014. Whether for CDYC, iServeNY, or any other AMCstudent activity, we are turning our students loose with the opportunity to sell Private Labeled laundry detergent by the bucket. Individual fundraising is a challenge. Usually, you have to sell a LOT of product, and hope that you dont have any left over. This year, we are going to flip the script, and sell fewer units that cost a little bit more. It is still a great deal for customers, but it allows us to keep inventory low (and non-edible). Personally, Im really excited about this fundraiser, but Ive also been stewing on the idea for the better part of eight months. If you would like to know more about it, would you join us (for at least the second half) for our iServeNY Information meeting? We are hoping to kick off our Summer Suds campaign that first week of March, introducing it to our students and church family alike. The meeting, on Sunday, March 2nd, begins at 4:00 PM, but we would be discussing fundraising at approximately 4:45 PM. You could join us for the entire meeting, but the last half would be best. For any thoughts, please get ahold of me. I want to be as helpful as humanly possible.

*These are prices based on $75 deposit by May 13th and total balance by May 31st for a one-student family. Individual situations may vary the price based on payment and family size. Contact me for more details.

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Parenting Teenagers:

Jim Burns

When to Be There and When to Stay Away

When our kids first enter the world, we cant get enough of them! We want to hold them & cradle them, keep them safe from the evil world. Theyre perfect - and we want to keep them that way. Of course, this perfect period only lasts a few days, or maybe a couple of weeks, tops. (Then, they start developing verbal and motor skills, prompting many parents to wonder what it was about these miracles that charmed them so not that long ago.) As your kids move through toddler hood and into adolescence, one constant remains they regard your presence as a sign of your caring and connectedness. I like to call this phenomenon the power of being there. I realize this may sound overly simple, but dont underestimate the positive message you are giving your kids by watching all those baseball or soccer games, driving them across country on a long family vacation, or the hundreds of other ways you are present in their lives. Now, a funny thing happens once they reach the teenage years: They just dont seem to want their parents around. Sure, they need your presence. They just dont want to be reminded of that fact. This comes as anywhere from a mild surprise to a major shock to parents who are watching their funloving 12-year-old become a sullen, more serious 13-year-old seemingly overnight. So, here are a few helpful ways you can still be a part of your teenagers life without pushing him or her away in the process: 1. Remember that just because a teenager doesnt say, I love you as much as they used to doesnt mean he or she dont love you anymore. They just dont want to say it at school, in front of their peers, or shout it out the car window as their bus pulls away for camp. 2. Keep in mind that, one day, when your kids are all grown up, you will likely have a loving friendship with them. Until then, Mom and Dad, resist the temptation to be one of their peers. Yes, peers are a primary influence right now, and you definitely need to know who these friends are. But you cant be one of themno matter how much you try. 3. Dont forget that your job as a parent is a calling so treat your kids like the gifts from God that they are. This one will help you through on the long, lonely days when it seems like your teenager really doesnt care about you anymore. Remember what it was like to be 13? 14? 17? Keep this in mind and give your child a healthy amount of space when appropriate. 4. The power of being there means you always willeven when it might seem impossible. Young children who grow up believing and knowing that their parents will always be there for them can face anything. Being there for your kids when theyre young gives them the sense that youll still be there for them when theyre older in their hearts, at least but not when you are hugging them goodbye in front of the movie theater.

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Jonathan McKee Knowing Your Teenager on Social Media !

To Spy or Not to Spy
In my parenting workshops across the country I always receive at least one question that sounds like this: Is it okay for me to have my kids passwords and see what theyre doing on social media? If you asked teens, you know what their answer would be: No way! Thats an invasion of privacy! Two years ago my then-16-year-old daughter Alyssa went with me to a parenting workshop as I laid out sample guidelines parents could use for their teenagers. One of those guidelines was parents having access to passwords and the freedom to read texts and social media. After the workshop multiple parents came up to Alyssa and asked her, What do you think of your dads rules? Alyssa answered candidly. Oh, I have no problem with them except he thinks its okay to read my texts. Thats just wrong! We had to agree to disagree thereparents need to do that at times. Im not alone on this issue. Some experts have gone as far as to claim, We have a duty to hack into our childrens emails and monitor their texts. But parents are as divided as Congress on this issue. Many parents think we need to give our kids complete freedom to learn these lessons on their own. Others think we should keep a careful watch. With the rise of teen smartphone ownership, were also seeing a rise in tracking and monitoring services, like mSpy Family, that allow you to track every tiny detail of your kids cell phone activities. Simpler solutions for younger kids exist, like FiLiP, a watchlike GPS tracking device that allows oneway texting from parent to child and features a big button they can push in case of an emergency! >>Whats the Answer? Are parents becoming too clingy? Are monitoring options like mSpy or FiLiP crossing the line? I think the key is keeping our eyes on the calendar. Parents need to realize that when our kids turn 18, they can join the Army, move out of the houseand do whatever they want. The primary job we need to consider is, are we preparing our kids for that day when they are going to be out on their own? >>How can we do this? The key is incremental independence. When our kids are young, we should be much more involved in their decision-making. As they get older, we begin equipping them to make more and more decisions on their own, with the goal of preparing them for that day when they are independent. The key is looking for frequent opportunities during adolescence for them to practice discernment on their own. Create an environment where your kids talk to you about their decisions. As they grow, let them make decisions (even fail) and talk about the consequences, good and bad, after. So use FiLiP or mSpy if it provides opportunities to teach your kids discernment. Accountability isnt such a bad thing. But bathe these moments in conversations (not just monologues). Use every opportunity to equip your kids to make good decisions, especially as they approach the day when theyll be on their own. Are you preparing them for that day? !

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David R. Smith The (Total) Cost of Text Messaging: !

Some Teens Are Paying More than a Monthly Bill
The cost of text messaging plans differs from carrier to carrier. Some charge for individual texts, some charge for texting as part of a plan, and some offer an unlimited amount of texting for the right price. But money may not be the only way some kids are paying for their text messages. >>Tied to Texting Most of us know how important cell phones are to teens; one recent survey from TextPlus found that half of 13-17 year olds felt as though they couldnt live without their mobile devices for one week. The same quick poll also found that 36% of the same group said they werent able to go 10 minutes without checking their phones. Additionally, 52% said they were on their cell phones regardless of the environment they were in. More on that in a moment. Even though a November, 2012 issue of TIME Magazine reported that the average number of text messages sent had decreased for the first time since its invention, those numbers included adults as well as teens. When the study was restricted to just teenagers, researchers found that the average teenager still sends 60 texts every day, or roughly 1,800 per month. One mans daughter dominated all other young texters when she sent 13,809 messages in a 28-day period. But what does all that texting truly cost families? >>The Costs Continue A renewed emphasis is currently being placed on text messaging because of something called sleep texting, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: sending texts while asleepor at least in a very groggy state of mind in the middle of the night. Most recently, Elizabeth Dowdell, a professor at Villanova University, described sleep texting among teens as, The phone will beep, theyll answer the text. Theyll either respond in words or gibberish. It can even be inappropriate. It seems that the 52% of teenagers who said they were on their phones regardless of the environment actually meant iteven if the environment is their bed. Sleep texting isnt necessarily a brand new issue; in fact, the mere existence of sleep texting has been debated for a couple years with experts on both sides of the argument. Some think that sleep texting is just a nice way of referring to drunk texting. (Interestingly, sleep texting hasnt been restricted to American teens; its been reported around the world, and in the lives of adults, too.) Regardless of whether sleep texting actually exists, most parents and youth workers know teens who text into the wee hours of the night. Experts like those at the National Sleep Foundation claim that 85% of teens fail to get the 9 hours of sleep they need on an average school night. When that happens, young people are at a greater risk of depression, obesity, poor grades, and more. But loss of sleep isnt the only price some teens are paying for excessive text messaging.

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The (Total) Cost of Text Messaging: !

(Continued)
Other adults are worried that rampant texting is causing teens to lose valuable communication skills. This article, with an embedded video, describes the damaging effects that too much texting has on young peoples abilities to interact with parents, teachers, and other authority figures, including future bosses. Most of us have seen this in action; we greet a teenager whos holding a cell phone, and instead of eye contact and a reasonable response, we get an unintelligible grunt. The jury may still be out on text messagings impact on literacy and kids grammar, but many adults have already experienced the (definite) problems of rudeness and social awkwardness in kids who are overly-tethered to their texting. So, is there anything parents and youth leaders can do to eliminate the unnecessary price teenagers are paying for over-the-top texting? >>Taming the Texting Some adults may think that smashing your kids phone is the answer! Others think the problem will eventually work itself out. Unfortunately, thats probably nothing more than wishful thinking. In short, without adult involvement, we wont see any difference in texting patterns among teenagers. The good news is there are simple steps we can take to help kids avoid the costs associated with texting. Carve out phone-free zones. This may sound impossible, but I assure you its not. Need I remind you that mankind has advanced and prospered for thousands of years without smartphones? Maybe your family declares the ride to school to be phone-free, or 8:00 pm is the time to hang up the phones. Surely bedrooms at bedtime should be a phone-free zone (even if it means buying one of those alarm clock things). Focus on solutions, not limitations. If were not careful, well establish rules that dont really solve the problems teenagers face. For instance, we can declare phone-free zonesand still have rude kids. Talk about the goals you have for your teenagers, and engage them in discussions that help them see the solutions for themselves. You might use questions like: - Who are the people in your life that are more important than a text message? - Is it possible to spend too much time texting? How do you know when that is? Model the etiquette you desire. I cant recount how many families Ive noticed in restaurants that are glued to their individual cell phone screens. Nobody has to wonder why Damons cell phone use is out of control; Dads is, too! As adults, we must lead by example. If we dont, we cannot expect them to rise to a standard thats above ours. But again, our example should go far beyond our own texting behaviors. We should show teens what its like to look someone in the eye when were talking with them. We should make sure were getting enough rest so were not moody. We shouldnt continually blow past our monthly allotment of text messages, either. Live what you expect of them. !

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