17 BASIC DESIRES/DRIVES/MOTIVES

MOTIVES: DRIVES = Extrinsic motivations (sources from the outside food, water, etc.); Include biological needs (hunger, thirst, sex, pain avoidance) EGO = Intrinsic motivations (sources within our mind)

Motive
Po !r C"riosit# In$!%!n$!nc! Stat"s Socia& contact V!n'!anc! (onor I$!a&ism P)#sica& !x!rcis! Romanc! *ami&# Or$!r In'!stion Acc!%tanc! Tran+"i&it# Savin' Eatin'

Desire
Want to influence (leadership; master achievement, competence, influence.) Want to gain $nowledge and truth. Want to be autonomous; selfreliance Want social standing % attention; desire for wealth, titles, attention, awards Want companionship % fun*pla ; desire for friendship and fun. Want to compete to win * get even; desire to win and compete. !o obe a moral code; desire to embod moralit , character, lo alt . !o improve societ (altruism; .ustice, fairness); desire for fairness and .ustice. Want movement * action; desire for fitness. Want courting; desire for sex. Want own children; desire to have children. Want to organi)e % have rituals; desire for cleanliness, stabilit and organi)ation. Want to eat % drin$ Want approval; desire for positive self-image and self-worth. Want to avoid fear, worr , stress, anxiet ; desire for relaxation and safet . Want to gather, collect, save, be frugal; desire to collect and amass propert . 3esire for food.

Behavior /Action
!o be dominant !o learn % gain experience !o leave home; !o search 'ttract attention; (e recogni)ed !o be in a group (famil , team, club, gang, etc.) !o fight if threatened !o associate to common mindset (good-ol,-bo s; team; armed forces) !o avoid conflict (b seeing the good) !o be strong % competitive !o reproduce (survival of species) !o protect oung (survival) !o promote wellness % reliabilit !o get nutrition !o be ac$nowledged !o avoid danger !o save (food, materials, etc.) !o survive

Feeling of:
"fficac ; #atisfaction Wonderment &reedom #elf-importance #afet in numbers +indication -o alt (lin$ed to safet in numbers) /ompassion +italit ; &eel alive -ust -ove 0ealth % #tabilit #atiation (avoidance of hunger) #elf-confidence #afet , 1eacefulness 2wnership #atisfaction

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Ass!rtion ,Po !r-. A''r!ssion ,V!n'!anc!-. Passivit#,Acc!%tanc!!hose who feel the need to rule with fear are themselves inade6uate. 1eople who express themselves in an aggressive manner have things to hide from themselves and from others. !his also applies to people who constantl critici)e others. !he $e to effective communication is assertion not aggression. When we 7snap7 or are 7snapped at7 verball , we can ta$e several paths8 (4) evaluate our feelings and spea$ assertivel or (9) become callous and not care how others feel as long as we get what we want or (:) be passive and sa nothing until it bottles up as aggression and comes out later as criticism. !he reason people critici)e is the same reason wh people rule with fear - the are afraid. !he first option is alwa s best. !he others ma get want ou want in the short term but stress will build up and explode in the long term. If ou are not assertive with people ou will brew bitterness and complaints. (e assertive and don;t snap - state what ou want and what ou thin$. <se %ositiv! ass!rtions in the /irst %!rson ,0I1- such as8 7I would li$e to...7; I feel that...7; 7I prefer to...7 etc. 'void negatives such as 7I don;t want to...7, 7I hate it when...7, 7=ou never want to...7. #tatements in the a//irmativ! /irst2%!rson will get ou results and will put ou as an independent person. 2thers ma not agree, but the will $now where ou stand and this is essential for respect.

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