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Hernandez 1 Edwin Hernandez John Kubler English 114A 22 October 2013 Im Different, Were different In society, each individual

has their own identity but in gender terms men and women are identified in different aspects. People have their own opinion on genders. Men can be identified as machos and sometimes we can be identified as caring and gentlemen. Women are sometimes identified as possessive and sometimes they are identified as sweet and loving. For example, I have a friend that believes that the man should be in charge and that in a relationship they have the last word. But in truth, we view the gender identity differently because we come from different backgrounds. Maybe the way we are raced is what forms our views on gender identity. For example, I was raised to respect women and my friend was raised in a macho manner. Although, people believe men and women are the same they are different through their communication, behavior and their definition of love. The differences in a relationship help make up for what we lack and in fact unite us. On one hand, we have people saying that men and women are alike. On the other hand, we have people saying that men and women are different. For example, in analysis done by John Grey, he explains that when men have a problem they tend to go in their metaphoric cave and think things through. He then gives womens solution to problems which is to talk things out with their friends or a close family member. People can argue that men and women are like. They can say we are both humans with feelings and emotions. But I dont believe that to be concrete information to prove that men and women are alike. Men and women are different but I still believe that we should both have the same rights without restriction. Women should be allowed to

Hernandez 2 be in the army, even though it has been said by that they lack aggressiveness. After all both men and women are fighting on the same side and more importantly for the same cause. I believe that men and women are different and sometimes these differences do affect the power relationships between the genders. Around the world, men and women have different characteristics of dealing with their problems. In the article, A Critical Response to John Grays Mars and Venus portrayals of men and women by Julia T. Wood, she discusses the characteristics of men and women when dealing with problems. As stated in Julia Woods article, mens alleged desire to be alone to think things through and work out their problems autonomouslythey [women] manage stress by talking, usually to other women (205). A metaphoric cave was used to indicate where men go to deal with their problems or how they prefer to handle stress. Men are more likely to keep things bottled in and would prefer to be alone with his thoughts. He would like to find away to work out his problems by himself without talking to anyone else because its his problem not someone elses. As opposed to women who are more likely to use talking as a method of relieving stress. They prefer to talk to someone else which in my opinion is like bringing in someone else into their relationship. When I have a problem, I prefer to be alone and solve it by myself. I believe that if I have a problem its not someone elses to get involved because its mine. Maybe it has to do with our ego because if we get help from someone else we feel weak but if we do it for ourselves we feel like we can do anything. Perhaps women can put everything aside and are more capable of talking to others about their problems. I think the power in the relationship would fall to the person that can offer a negotiable solution. Although I believe that the man will have more power because of his own efforts to solve their problem. I believe that men and women are different when they have to deal with problems or stress.

Hernandez 3 People cant read each others mind so its hard for someone to understand what someone else is thinking. In the article with excerpts from John Grays Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus he talks about the misunderstanding between men and women. As stated by John Gray, Men also will learn to recognize when they are needed the most and how to be skillfully supportive at those times (Gray 12). Men sometimes dont know how to take a hint when a woman needs help. They cant read minds therefore they dont know what women are thinking and how they can help. The male may have never had the same dilemma as the woman. If the man does not understand what is going on he may just shake his head and say yes because he wouldnt want for this situation to turn into a bigger thing. Women are different than us because when women are talking to other women they are able to help each other because they may share the same respective views. Its almost as if they can put themselves in each others shoes. I remember this one time when my friend had a problem with his girlfriend and she was waiting for him to say something but he didnt. He and I were talking and he told me he didnt know what to say because he didnt know what was going on. Men are not mind readers as you can see by my friend. I believe that women tend to be better listeners which help them understand each other and men tend to have selective. Men have to learn how to evolve their hearing ability. Women are more capable of understanding each other; its almost like a maternal instinct. They know when something is wrong or how they can help. I think that misunderstanding affects the relationship and the power leans more on the woman. Although I think the power is more manipulative because the woman can use the mans lack of hearing for example by saying that you werent listening to me and the male will feel bad and to not cause any problems will do what she instructs. I believe that men and women are different when it comes down to understanding each other.

Hernandez 4 Even though men and women have different characteristics there are people who say that men and women are alike rather than different. As stated by Daniel J. Canary and Kimberley S. Hause , findings revealed that men emerged more than women when the group activity was primarily task or unspecified (neither clearly task or social), but that women emerged as leader more when the group activity was primarily social (133). Women can be leaders as well and may be even better than men. It can be said that men and women have the same set of skills that can help them achieve their objective for their group. People can also argue that due to similarities in being leaders, women are able to work as doctors, lawyers, judges and politicians just like men. However women may be more concerned on what others think, while men focus on one specific task to reach common grounds. Men and women are different when it comes to love or feelings. In the film Crazy, Stupid, Love directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa we are introduced to Jacob Palmer and Hanna. Jacob is a ladies man that is looking to hook up with women but only for one night. While Hanna is in a relationship with one man and believes her man will propose. Jacob isnt looking for a serious relationship and would rather prefer having multiple women instead of just one. Hanna is different because she was hoping that her boyfriend would propose to her so they can be together. These two characters show the differences in the characters and more importantly the gender differences. In the film we see what these two characters value in their opposite gender. Also in the film Jerry Maguire directed by Cameron Crowe we are introduced to Jerry Maguire and Dorothy Boyd. In this film we also see a man, Jerry, who cares more about his career and is only looking to have fun with women. While Dorothy is looking more to have a family and is more focused on her son. This film shows the differences between men and women because a man tends to care more about his work and a woman is typically looking to settle down and raise a family. In

Hernandez 5 both films we are shown the differences between men and women through the characters in each of their films. Even though there are statements that men and women are alike, nevertheless I believe that men and women are different in so many ways. When men deal with their problems they prefer to be alone and think things through. Women deal with their problems by talking, mainly with their friends. Men find it harder to understand women while women are more capable of understanding each other. Add to that the fact that women are better listeners while men have selective hearing. Men and women have different views in their love lives. As we saw in the films men are looking to have more fun but women are looking to settle down and have a family. Anyone can argue that if differences can be set aside between men and women things will be better. I concur because if everything is the same, then we wont have variety in opinions. What makes us unique is that we have our own respective differences.