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She
She Magazine
Carolinas Hospital System
Receives Chest Pain Center Accreditation
www.shemagazine.com
Carolinas demonstrated its expertise and commitment to quality patient care by
meeting or exceeding a wide set of stringent criteria and completing on-site IT’S HERE -
evaluations by a review team from the Society of Chest Pain Centers. The OUR ANNUAL “MAN” ISSUE!
Society’s accreditation process insures centers meet or exceed quality-of-care
measures in acute cardiac medicine.
BEST DADS, LOVABLE HUSBANDS
We congratulate our Chest Pain Center team, including: Bill Cauthen, M.D.,
Director of Emergency Services, Lew Rowe, M.D., Cardiologist and Medical THE FORESTER, THE INVENTOR,
Director of Carolinas Cardiac Rehabilitation, and Brenda O’Connell, RN, BSN, THE MUSICIAN & MORE
Trauma/Chest Pain Center Coordinator, whose intensive work helped earn this
important accreditation.
THE SINGLE GUY
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orthopedic traumatology and sports medicine, they provide an extensive range of services and employ the latest
advancements in orthopedic care to keep you healthy and active at every stage of life. With a multidisciplinary
approach and collaboration by outstanding specialists, McLeod Orthopaedics, formerly McLeod Orthopaedic
DR. KYLE WATFORD DR. RODNEY ALAN DR. BRIAN BLAIR DR. AL GILPIN DR. TOM MEZZANOTTE
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Glossy Page 4 5/19/09 4:41 PM Page 1
5 5/20/09 1:46 PM Page 1
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family and where you know your loved one will be in the best
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before Karen Brigman Humphries is a 45-year-old retired bank teller. She’s now a full-time homemaker to her wonderful hus-
band of 28 years, Heyward. She loves watching her 23-year-old son, Daniel (#56), race go karts. Spending time with
her family is what she enjoys doing the most.
after
In Every Issue 78
80
Barry Frick
Benjamin Woods
14 Letter from the Editor 82 Brian Leonard
84 Charles Jeffcoat
16 She mail 86 Ed Kowalski
67 Wings for the Spirit 30-31 Minnemie Murphy 120-121 Cookie Cawthon
Sherry S. Page Life Among the Guys Finding HIM
32 Marti Miller
68 She’s Closet Forecast: Man-Drought
She M e l ia
a Flowers Berry
Publisher/Editor
editor@shemagazine.com
Tuesday Taylor
General Manager
Advertising & Graphic Design
we are
tuesday@shemagazine.com
Dresden Tucker
Graphic Design
dresden@shemagazine.com
Heather Frick
Intern
hfrick@shemagazine.com
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Graphic Design
ashley@shemagazine.com
B e v e r l y K e l l y - Executive Assistant
R a y G a s q u e - Distribution Manager
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E m a i l t o : e d i t o r @shemagazine.com
Mail to: 609 North Main Street • Marion, SC 29571
Call us: 843.423.2393 office line • 843.423.9837 fax line
She Magazine is published monthly and distributed at over 500 locations throughout the
Pee Dee. She Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or content we
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e-mail or snail mail. Please include name, address and contact number. You will be
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publisher. She Magazine is a registered trademark.
14 5/26/09 10:49 AM Page 1
As I sat at my kitchen table, peeling a basket of beautiful fresh peaches, She Magazine.” Woman: “Oh, I have to have a picture made?” She Mag: “Yes, we need
the first of the season, my heart was aching as I thought of my daddy. Later this month, a picture. Our readers like to actually see the person they’re reading about.” Woman:
we’ll celebrate Father’s Day – my first without my precious DaDa. The peaches made “Well, I really don’t want a picture made. I’m (we always get one of these) fat, having a
me think of him because, last summer, while he was sick and had little appetite, fresh bad hair day, look horrible in pictures, haven’t had a picture made since birth, etc.” She
peaches were one of the few things he enjoyed. I kept my eye out for every roadside Mag: “It’ll be okay, I promise. You can do this.” Woman: “Well, if I have to. I’d really
stand in search of the juiciest, ripest peaches – just for my DaDa. rather not. Is there anything I can do to avoid this?”
Many of my evenings were spent going to visit him, taking the day’s find for his This is how it goes with men: She Mag: “We need to schedule your picture for the
inspection. I can still so vividly see his gentle hands, now smooth but once so callused photo shoot.” Man: “Okay, what day?”
from a lifetime of hard work, holding and inspecting each piece of fruit as I waited for I kid you not. I’m not faulting you, ladies. I’m one of you. I hate having my picture
the verdict. My DaDa could tell how good a piece of produce was just by the texture made and I completely understand; however, sometimes, we can be difficult creatures.
and smell. After careful evaluation, he would look at me with such loving eyes and say, I have also witnessed this while raising my children. My two sons are a piece of cake
“Thank you, darling.” At that point, it didn’t matter what the verdict was; he was appre- compared to the complexities of my precious daughter. Again, let me give you an exam-
ciative that I came bearing fruit. Later, however, he would let me know if they were ple. My sons could care less about the clothes they wear for the most part. They have
good. Or, in his words, “not fit to eat.” never given me the first bit of anxiety over wardrobe issues. My Haley, however, has put
Having been raised on a farm, my daddy knew the difference in farm-grown me through enough stress to guarantee a future heart condition since she was two-
produce and that which was “raised in a hothouse and sprayed with chemicals.” He years-old. (Yes, I meant two; that was not a typo.) Her issues with clothes really did
longed for the days of all things farm-grown and farm-raised. In his later days, he begin at the age of
decided (perhaps, rightfully so) that much of the foods we eat “are so packed full of two. She went to
chemicals and hormones that we’re doing ourselves more harm than good to eat them.” bed one night as a
Holding the peaches in my hands, the juice ran down my arms as I cut away at sweet little angel,
the peelings. I knew my daddy would approve of these. The aroma was so sweet; I happy to wear what-
couldn’t help but stop to sample the goods as I went along. I thought about DaDa and ever her momma
what I would give to be able to take him some of these peaches. I long to see him and put on her. She
to hug him. Most of all, I long to have him hug me. I miss my daddy’s love so much. woke up the next
Surely, it’s still with me and always will be to a certain degree; however, I miss the tangi- morning with her
ble. I miss his voice. I miss seeing the love in his eyes. And the hugs. Oh, how I miss own idea of what
the hugs. was “purty” and
Making my way though the basket, I began thinking about that love – that bottom- never looked back.
less pit of love that he had for me and I realized that one of the reasons I miss it so much I could go on and
is that it made me feel so safe. Of all the wonderful things we can say about men, I on, but I cannot risk
believe the safety factor is perhaps the most awesome. There is something about the turning my own gen-
love of a man that carries with it the ability to make a woman feel safe. I like to feel der against me for
safe. I have never been into being scared. I hate scary movies. I cannot tolerate scary the sake of this one
rides. I wake from scary dreams and cannot go back to sleep. (You get the picture.) I issue dedicated to
love the warm, fuzzy cozies derived from feeling safe. I know now that as long as my celebrating and
DaDa was alive, I felt safe. Even in the last months of his life when he was frail and building up the other
weak, just knowing he was with me made me feel that I was taken care of, even though gender.
I was the one taking care of him. “IT’S RAINING
The love of a man is a powerful thing. God, in His Omniscience, knew that a MEN!” is the name
woman needed the love of a man and what that love would mean for her well-being of this year’s MAN
when he commanded men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians issue and it’s quite a “My two sons are a piece of cake
5:25). The love of a man directed at a woman, no matter what the relationship – father, befitting title if I compared to the complexities of
husband, son, friend, etc. – has tremendous potential where a woman is concerned. must say so myself. my dear daughter.”
I often wonder if the love of a man is so powerful because it’s not as easy to This year, we have
come by as is the love of a woman. Women, I think, are expected to love. We are born more men than ever
nurturers and, for most of us, it just comes naturally. Men, on the other hand (I believe), before. I got a little carried away and just couldn’t stop adding more men to the line-
often have to learn how to love and aren’t as comfortable with showing love as women. up. You wrote in to tell me about so many wonderful men; I only wish I had room for
There are, of course, exceptions to this opinion and my daddy was one of them. That more. Along with dads and husbands, we also selected a few men who love what they
man reeked of love like a wino reeks of spirits. Love was in his speech and his actions. do and are quite good at it (so their wives and friends told us) – “The Designer,” “The
So, I miss him. I will miss him this summer and with each piece of summer’s Chef,” “The Carpenter,” “The Musician” and “The Forester” (just to name a few). For
harvest I partake of, I will think of him. I will think of him on Father’s Day and on his the ANNUAL MALE MAKOVERS, we did something really different and quite fun; the
birthday in July and every day that I spend on this earth without him. conservative man and the working guy trade places with a lifestyle swap makeover. You’ll
This issue is the much-anticipated ANNUAL MAN ISSUE. You’ve let us know surely want to share this issue with the men in your life once you are done. Or, better
that this is one of your favorite issues and, I must say, it is one of mine, as well. It’s cer- yet, this month is all about him. Be a dear and let him go first.
tainly the funniest issue we publish all year and much less stressful to produce than any Now, back to where I began – the peaches. I was peeling them for the absolute best
other issue. After years of putting together the ANNUAL MAN ISSUE, I think I’ve fig- dessert ever! It’s called Peach Delight (although it should be called Peach Heaven) and
ured out why – men are just easier to work with than women. I share it with you in “AND SHE COOKS,TOO!” I made the first of the season for my
Now, please don’t hate me, friends, for speaking what I believe to be the truth. sweet mother’s birthday. Try it and let me know what your family thinks about it.
I’m still on your side and can usually find a few things to substantiate the fact that men Okay, ladies, get out your umbrellas; “IT’S RAINING MEN!” And like the song says,
just do not get it most of the time. However, I must give credit where credit is due. it’s time to “get absolutely soaking wet!”
Let me give you an example.When scheduling the pictures for any given photo Enjoy the men in your life and in this issue . . . but, it’s still a woman thing.
shoot, most often the conversation with the woman being featured will go something
like this: She Mag: “We need to schedule your photo shoot for your story in Melia Flowers Berry
15 5/21/09 11:34 AM Page 1
1303 W. EVANS S
FLORENCE, SC
(843) 468-9700
7142 WOODROW ST. • IRMO, SC • (803) 796-9296
16 5/21/09 12:40 PM Page 1
Dear
She mail
She,
I am so impressed with the print quality of
She Magazine. I work in boating for my day job and we send ads to nation-
al boating magazines. Even though they are gloss pages, the paper quality and print
quality for some of them is nowhere near the quality and clarity that I see in She.
That being the case, I was really excited when Linda Wilson asked me to design ads
Dear She, for placement in She! It’s so much more exciting when you know the quality is
going to be great.
Having a good job is one thing, but it’s quite another when you’re doing
something that makes you feel good and allows you to have fun while you’re doing
Thank you so much for it. Even though I know you all work very hard, She Magazine is a reflection that
asking me to be featured in you obviously have a lot of fun, too!
May’s “The World According Thanks again and I look forward to working with you,
Debbie Packer, Florence
to.” I’ve received several
phone calls, so I can attest to Dear She,
the fact that folks do read
I’m writing in hope that I can get a copy of the October 2008
She Magazine – even men! issue of She Magazine that was published in honor of Breast Cancer
Month. My friend is fighting breast cancer and I’d love to give her that
copy so she could be encouraged as she is taking chemo treatments. I
Peggy McLean, Florence know it would be uplifting to her – especially the survivor stories.
Thank you for She Magazine and for the way Christ is glorified
in it. I always get excited when I see a new issue come out. May God
bless your work for Him!
Dear She,
Libby Villescas, Florence
I really enjoyed reading She’s May issue
and, because of it, I am reminded of what is really Dear She,
important. After reading the Editor’s Letter in the
May issue (“The Truth About Motherhood”) writ-
I always read She Magazine and I find it enjoyable. The thing I enjoy
ten by Melia Berry, I was in tears.
My husband, Shane, and I have a two-year- most about She is reading the articles about local women from the
old and I never knew what being a mother meant Pee Dee area. The articles are inspirational and interesting. I also like
until he came along. Melia’s thoughts make me looking at the fashion trends because they are gorgeous and it keeps
remember what I have always known; time waits
me informed about the latest styles.
on no one. I have often neglected my housework She Magazine is great! Thumbs up to everyone for their hard work!
to spend time with Keeton and sometimes I think
I will never get it all done. I am reminded that all Sincerely,
the other stuff can wait; he needs me now and Shemel J.Thomas,
there will be plenty of time for everything else Hartsville
when he no longer wants my attention.
Men:
God’s Way of Teaching
Patience to Women
by Allie Atkinson
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THE WALL
BETWEEN “This wall
keeps me
from
US by Sandra Honaker
writing
about him,
A lthough each June issue of She Magazine is dedicated to fathers, I have always tried to come up with
a way to avoid writing about mine, and that is not because I don’t love my father or I had a bad father. There is this
wall between my father and me, and I put the wall there, so I can’t blame him for it. This wall keeps me from writ-
but this
June I’m
ing about him, but this June I’m going to try to breach it.
Right from the start I need you to know I have a great father. He takes care of everybody. He married my
mother one month before her father died, and he stepped up to the plate and helped take care of her mother and
her four sisters, giving them away in their own marriages. When crises arose in the family, he was always there, help-
going
ing out mom’s sisters and their children whenever he could. When his Aunt Rene was stricken with Alzheimer’s, he
drove the seven hour round trip to Gaffney often twice a week to help take care of her, and he did this for years.
to try to
He did the same for his mother after his father passed away.
breach it.
”
He teaches Sunday school at his church, and I can’t really remember a time before he was a deacon—it
seems he always was. He was a good businessman before he retired, and he was my first real employer, letting me
(maybe “letting” is not exactly the right verb, but we’ll use it here) help with inventory and stock and delivery. He
taught me a lot about retail and about the magic of capitalism, where all you have to do is treat people with respect
and give them a good product and they give you money. A former accountant, he taught me about the importance
of keeping an eye on my money and watching my expenses and not spending everything I had the moment I had it.
When I was in the wrong, he would let me know. When I would have a less than gifted teacher in school
he would still say it was my responsibility to learn from her, regardless. He wouldn’t let me off the hook about miss-
ing school or not fulfilling my responsibilities or not living up to my possibilities. His favorite poet is Robert Service,
and Dad often quotes the line from Service’s poem “The Cremation of Sam McGee” that “A promise made is a debt
unpaid.” He taught me to keep my word and to be of use in this world.
So as good as my father was, I didn’t have the relationship with my father that many writers in this maga-
zine had with their fathers. I was never, ever a Daddy’s Girl, for example. Although I never doubted that he loved
me, I was always worried that I was too weird for him to really approve of me. Sometimes I saw a puzzled look on
his face, as if he wasn’t quite sure I belonged to him. Perhaps it is only the fault of my limited perspective, but I
always felt that my sisters each had a parent that they were particularly close to, and then there was me, the lit-
eral fifth wheel. Lisa was daddy’s girl, and Rankin was mom’s, but for many years I suspected that the joke my
sisters often repeated to me, that I was adopted, was true, because I didn’t fit. My tastes were too strange,
my clothing inappropriate (I had cleanliness issues), and my daydreams too intense (I wrote my own
episodes to TV shows, not realizing until years later that I was merely anticipating the genre of fan fic-
tion). In later years my lack of faith separated me from my family, as well as my politics. Although I’ve
come back to faith, my politics are still out of step. I am the only non-republican in my family, only once
voting for a republican candidate for president. Even as I write this I’m worried it will embarrass my
dad, but it is what it is, for, like Popeye, I am what I am.
It was this awareness of difference that led me to build my wall, and I must reiterate that I built
it, not him. He never ostracized me for my beliefs or my tastes, although I took my fair share of teas-
ing. I was worried that if he knew the deepest desires of my heart he would be disappointed, and that
disappointment would be hardest to bear if it came from my father. So I became secretive. I hardly ever
let him meet my boyfriends, for example, because I knew he wouldn’t like them. Although he has accept-
ed my husband into our family, my dad complained to me once before my wedding that he hardly knew
Pat, and I have to admit my dad was right. I didn’t give him a chance to know Pat because I didn’t want
him to not approve of the man that I knew I loved.
Now that I have a daughter of my own who is a lot like me, I know the frustration my father
must have felt. My daughter hides her thoughts from me and pulls away from me as much as I did
from him, and I suspect she thinks I’m disappointed in her, but she is wrong. Because of her, I’m
sure now I was wrong about my father, but the wall is still in place.
The point of this article is to tell my dad, firmly and in public (because to say this to
him privately would exhibit far more emotion than I am comfortable showing), that I do love
and admire him, and wouldn’t have wanted anyone else for my father. Some of the best parts
of my psyche are the parts I inherited from him (although the whole short-temper thing
could have been omitted). I am proud to be his daughter.
Happy Father’s Day, Bob.
Sandra Honaker lives in Marion with her husband Pat and her daughters Morgan and Alex.
Her father is Bobby Dean Sanders of Florence, SC.
22 5/25/09 11:47 AM Page 2
23 5/21/09 11:25 AM Page 1
and Landscape Design
Cath Sokal
Landscape Architect
and Garden Designer
Saturday 9:00 - 5:00
Now Featuring
IMAGE SKINCARE
When Melia, the publisher of this awesome magazine, home cooked meal is the gift of time and energy spent to prepare it.
And his arms, well those are extremely vital considerations in finding the per-
reminded us that this month's theme for She is "It's Raining
fect man. They should be strong enough to help haul in groceries or set up the fre-
Men," I of course was the first to scream out, "Where?!"
quent beach umbrellas and hoist future grandchildren on his shoulders, but be comfort-
Some how, that particular Weather Channel report never makes it to me in
able enough for me to wrap around during a boring social event for work.
time to catch those showers. Just once I would like to show up to one of those down-
His shoulders must be broad, prepared to carry the burden of our families
pours without an umbrella! And, if possible, I would like to pick just the right manly mol-
many dramas or the supply-filled backpacks for future hikes in Alaska or trekking
ecules falling from the sky - even if there is only a small drop of dudes from which to
through adventures on RV trips cross country.
choose.
The perfect man has to have character. Both sides of his face should say the
The perfect Man in my opinion would arrive in a sudden, but gentle summer
same thing and fibbing is out of the question, even when he forgets that it's a special
drizzle, without the clap of thunder or spectacle of lightning. He would be Humble,
occasion or that he invited his mother to spend the week of summer vacation.
Hearty, Happy and Handsome. (The fourth H would be nice in the selection, but it's not
The perfect man displays consistency. What you see at work or play, is that
required.) Just what will he look like?
same easy going personality at home. He understands how to operate more than heavy
Well, he should be tall enough to appear higher than me in photographs (as
machinery and yard tools, a knowledge that also extends to special equipment like the
opposed to poor Emma Thompson who had to shed her shoes in order to balance out
dishwasher or clothes dryer.
Dustin Hoffman in the movie, "Last Chance Harvey.") and wide enough to make me
My perfect man believes in his Christian commitments, and attends church
look petite.Width in the relationship is crucial to a food fan like me.
because of his need for worship, not because it is a good networking opportunity or
He may sport any eye color, no preference, but his peepers must be big
better for his image.
enough to shed tears of joy as well as overflow with emotion if grief requires it. In my
His vocation provides him with the right P. and M. - purpose and meaning, not
opinion, real men do cry, demonstrate emotion when the moment calls for it and tag
power or money.What he does is not for a living but for a loving, mindful of his prior-
along to an occasional chick flick when asked by their wives.
ities - Faith, Family, Friends and Fun in balance.
The perfect man's lips are not just there for the pucker factor -- they should
So, if it's really raining men, hand me some galoshes and point me in the right
be large enough to be heard acknowledging his Christian faith in public or when we
direction!
pray together in private. They should be eager to curl into a smile, when whispering
Happy Summer!!!
words of encouragement to others as often as appropriate. His expression, trustwor-
thy and true, exudes the confidence to compliment the chef, even when my meatloaf is 1 John 4:11
mediocre -- because the perfect man recognizes that the important thing to savor at a
Jumana A. Swindler, a resident of Florence, is the Director of Marketing and Public Relations for McLeod Health. Her personal favorite pastimes, reflected in her writings,
27 5/26/09 3:05 PM Page 1
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Four is a crew
and sometimes I do
forget a name or two.
But they quickly re-direct
me in order to connect
me with the one I really need,
at least not at first. It is a worthy story and powerful demonstration of God’s grace, but “Surely she means not me,
I’ll keep it short. After a disastrous initial courtship (I thought we were dating, but he but one of the other three!”
never would admit to such a term!), we broke up and entered what we now (with a
chuckle) refer to as “The Dark Ages” – one and a half years of enmity. They’re busy; it’s true,
I
But, grace prevailed and after a remarkable reconciliation in 2000, we entered destructive, too (!)
the journey of marriage on March 10, 2001. Oh and what a journey! In Michael Card’s and they race from first light till night.
words,“There is a joy in the journey!” (There are frustrations, too, but more about that Thus our dwelling might
later.) not be a pretty sight.
Some of the greatest joys we have walked through together have undoubtedly But, don’t pity me – it’s great!
been the births of each of our sons. We started talking about children while in pre-mar-
They’re innovative and carefree
ital counseling. We hoped for four li’l Murphys of whatever size, shape or gender the
as they test the laws of gravity
Lord would see fit to provide. At that point, I personally thought two boys and two girls from the topmost part of any tree.
would be just marvelous. Once I held our firstborn, though, I realized that the Lord gives They make sure for every action
not “a gender,” but a person, uniquely created in His image, displaying different facets of to elicit a (my) reaction.
His beauty, each demanding a different part of my being to be sanctified so I may taste (I suspect they enjoy it just a fraction.)
deeper of the “Heavenly Bread.” But, don’t pity me – it’s great!
We didn’t desire to know the gender with any of my pregnancies. (Not know-
ing was a great incentive to help me – literally – push through labor in order to find out.) Oh, they love to make noise
When I was pregnant with number four, we (I, especially) were a little concerned that a with body (:-o) and/or voice.
girl might actually pop out. I had come to enjoy the boys so much, I just didn’t think I Jericho’s walls would not stand
could handle being a girl-mom! My anxiety was unnecessary because our home now against such a strident band.
But, don’t pity me – it’s great!
vibrates with the lives of four little men – Devan (6), Neels (4), Pieter (2) and Martin (1).
Though the odds may seem against me in this all-male-run home, I am actually
There’s been a peanut up a nose,
The Queen. No, they don’t exactly acknowledge my self-appointed status, but for the another favors sucking his (dirty) toes,
most part I feel royal with my clan around me. Although four is not that great a num- Number two always has one missing shoe,
ber, four boys seem to be a great subject of interest and concern to some genuinely and why is the floor covered with . . .glue?
compassionate people we meet when the boys and I venture into stores. We’ve come Sighhhh!
to expect and smile at comments of disbelief or pity. “All boys?! Four of them?! No But, when it’s all out, found and cleaned-up,
girl?” With a shake of the head, they walk away muttering,“Lord, have mercy” or some- I live to tell.
thing similar, probably secretly wondering what I did to deserve all this. Oh, how I wish And it returns to great!
I had time to tell them just how I really feel about my tribe.
Minnemie Murphy (a native of South Africa) and her husband, Scott, and their four boys live in Florence.
30-31 5/26/09 9:37 AM Page 2
I I’ll be a big fat fraud if I don’t acknowledge that some days are terrible, hor-
rible, not good and very hard. Though one boy by himself typically provides for an
eventful life, danger is looming in numbers. And we have numbers. Think me not dis-
respectful if I compare them to a pack of dogs. In an all-boy home, life becomes more
exaggerated, their actions more intense, their ability to destroy inflated, their noises
louder, their odors stronger(!), the risks they take greater.
But, for all the chaos, commotion and craziness, I declare they are incredibly
low maintenance! Conflicts are easily resolved, grievances quickly forgotten, forgive-
ness authentically and rapidly bestowed. They entertain themselves through cama-
raderie with each other – and whatever that may lead to. On a typical day, it includes
finding and utilizing treasures such as bugs, bricks, rubber bands, ropes, rocks, rusty
nails, pipes, planks, dirt, dry leaves, sticks and babobies. (Ba . . . what?) I don’t know.
I don’t get it either, but they know and find great delight in hunting it! I don’t think it
exists anywhere but in their minds and vocabulary; but, to be sure, it is.
There is also a different kind of chaos and confusion characterizing our
home, but it has nothing to do with the disproportionate amount of men in the
house. It’s because ours is a bilingual dwelling. The boys and I speak Afrikaans to each
other, while they speak English to Scott. I’m sure our kitchen falls just short of resem-
bling the cacophony heard at a cosmopolitan food market. Scott understands only a
little Afrikaans, but somehow he manages to bask in the inevitable resulting disorder.
He’s great! I marvel in his gracious acceptance and willingness to learn this different
language that sometimes reigns in our house.
Scott’s posture proclaims that there is joy in learning from that which is alien. With Two Locations To Serve You:
And, some days, I’m convinced that this peculiar male species occupying my house 501 S. Irby St. Florence, SC
qualify as alien(s). My female understanding finds them (on occasion) to be very Marion County Medical Complex
Hwy 76 Marion, SC (Tuesday’s only)
strange and unfamiliar.
Then again, my official status on legal documents is indeed – Resident Alien.
Thus I guess I have arrived. I love my extraterrestrial life!
126 5/21/09 12:45 PM Page 1
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Dear She,
I have a question for “Beauty Buzz.” Actually, it’s more for my hus-
band than myself. He has larger breasts than normal for a man. He’s not
that much overweight and never has been; this problem has plagued him
since his early teens. I understand there is a common (though probably
not medical) term for this – “man boobs.” With the resources you have
in the medical field, I’m hoping you can tell me what his options might be.
- An avid reader of She and “Beauty Buzz”
(I’m withholding my name because my husband would kill me for asking.)
Dear Reader,
Thanks for asking the question. You have perfect timing! Since this is our annual issue
dedicated to men, I think it’s a timely and important subject to investigate for our male readers
and for those who love them. I asked Dr. Edward O’Dell with Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center
to answer your question. I hope you find it helpful. - Melia Flowers Berry, Editor
E-mail your beauty questions or suggestions for a topic that you would like
to know more about to editor@shemagazine.com. Include “Beauty Buzz” as the subject.
35 5/26/09 2:49 PM Page 1
It’s
been raining men at my house since 1980. I got married in or occupy at any given moment. When they get tired of that subject, they put it away
August of that year and began my personal journey of Rain and pick another. They don’t mix the boxes; they use only one at a time. The addition-
Man. For those of you who are not familiar with that movie, al insight is that they have at least one of these compartments that is completely empty!
it’s about two brothers – one a handsome yuppie type, the When they say they are not thinking or doing anything, they mean it!
other an autistic savant. When their dad passed away, the How in the world can a woman ever deal with or understand that? Our brains
family fortune was mainly left to the son with the physical struggles, and the story plot are wired to think of a thousand things at once and they are all co-mingled. We don’t
is about the more fortunate son taking on his otherwise embarrassing brother so that have compartments; everything is somehow related to the next and we can tell you
he can share in the prosperity. Learning to live and communicate with him is a huge how. To muddy those waters, we don’t just mix the subjects; we throw in all the emo-
part of the drama of the movie. That is how I see my life. tions that go with each.
I was raised in a home of four women and one brother; however, being nine Thirty years later, here I am still confused and living the same scenario. I’ve
years older than I, he was out of the house by the time I realized we were different. I spent a lot of time living with, loving and raising wonderful men. My heartstrings love
can honestly say I started out on this journey with a huge handicap – and one I’m not little boys. Their zest for life and logical ways are contagious. But I still don’t under-
sure will ever change. My sisters and I are different; but, we are women, and I think we stand how they think. I’ve had thousands of conversations and can still walk away with
speak the same basic language. I had absolutely no idea that the communication gap only silence and questions.
and understanding ways between a man and woman were greater than any generation Charlie Babbitt came to love and appreciate his brother and the way he lived
gap would ever be. Mom forgot to tell me. Perhaps in our home of four women, she and viewed life, although he would never totally be able to understand it. There were
didn’t think it was necessary information. In the years to come, however, it would have some things about it that were special.
proved to be invaluable. I have often said that if genies were real and I had a chance for one wish, it
In 1982, just two years into a marriage and learning to live with another per- would be to live inside the head of a man for one day. I truly want to understand the
son (and a man at that), I gave birth to my first child, who, of course, was a boy. way they think and view life. However, the men in my life warn me that would be a
Nineteen months later, I had my second child, another boy. Two and a half years later, scary thing – and not a good idea.
I found myself with a third child and a third son. I was one woman in a house of four So, for now, I will settle for appreciating our differences and that God gave me
men. the wonderful privilege of a husband and three sons as a personal learning tool. There
I don’t mean any disrespect when I say I felt like an idiot savant. I am a woman may be many days when I feel like the fish outside of the bowl. On those days, I have
with above-average intelligence; but, on any given day, I can feel pretty much like an idiot to grab a girlfriend for some laughing and talking
when trying to live and communicate in a world of men. I have not had the fortune of and shopping. Later, I will come back to my
a woman in the house that would talk and chat and giggle with me. There is no talk of world of sports and silence and men and the
soap operas or Dr. Phil. I’m the only one in the house that has a favorite American Idol, love they all somehow bring my way.
and we definitely don’t go shopping for that new dress or pair of shoes. I’ve learned to
live in and enjoy a world of sports and silence that can sometimes be deafening.
My mind jumps to the scenes in the movie of Rain Man when Raymond Babbitt
gets stuck on a phrase like “I am an excellent driver” and will say it at the most inap-
propriate or inopportune times. It drives his brother, Charlie, crazy because it doesn’t
really relate to the conversation or deal with the situation. Do men know that we
sometimes feel like that when we are around them
often? Sometimes, it seems that they have a
phrase they say just to appear they are
engaged in the conversation, but it can
be maddening. Is it a game they play
or is the way they function really
that simple and straightforward?
I have made a recent discov-
ery in talking to my husband and my
brother and listening to counselors and
motivational speakers, that men actually
have compartmentalized brains. They tell
me it’s like a series of boxes and they pick
which one they want to deal with or use
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This month’s “Wee She” was submitted by Kate’s mother, Amy Sansbury. If you would like to nominate a little girl
for “Wee She,” send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com with “Wee She” Nomination as the subject.
41 5/26/09 8:05 PM Page 1
by Ferebe Gasque
Ahhhn, men,.. can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. later, He still hasn’t sent me the memo. I learned many years after the pronouncement
that this same fellow had dated a friend of mine later that summer and had the same
That’s what the famous “they” say, isn’t it? Sort of like tech- revelation from God regarding his future with her. Neither of us is sure what ever hap-
nology, I guess. Except with technology you can call a repair- pened to him. Some poor unsuspecting girl who didn’t have a strong faith probably fell
man or buy a new one. for his proclamation. That’s a scary thought but probably true.
June is traditionally the “men” issue of She Magazine. So, I started thinking Thankfully, most of the men I have known have been decent and honest and
about all of the men in my life. I’ve often been asked why I never got married. My tra- caring. Of course, there have been exceptions. Most of them, however, have learned
ditional answer is “I never found a man good enough for me.” While my high standards what their mothers taught them and have carried those positive attributes throughout
and qualifications for a husband probably did weed out some possibilities when I was their lives.
younger, the truth of the matter now is that adjusting to living with someone who is I know several men who unashamedly will hug their adult sons in public. That’s
likely as set in his ways as I am in mine would be quite an endeavor. That being said, I what I call a real man. So often, men feel they need to be stoic in public. While I don’t
suppose if God wants me to get married, He will help me adjust to all the changes, too. approve of gushy public displays of affection by either gender (or a combination there-
In the meantime, I’ve learned that being single and over 50 is not always a negative thing. of), it’s refreshing to me to see men who are secure enough in their own skin to
But, this is supposed to be about men. Hmmmm . . . where do I begin? express their emotions honestly and appropriately.
The first man in my life was my Daddy. He was from a maternally dominated I know I’ve never been a man, but I’ve been around them long enough to have
family. At an early age, I imagine, he determined that his family would not follow suit. learned a thing or two. I’ve learned that men and women are, in fact, different in many
He was definitely in charge in our family. You’ve heard the saying, I’m sure, “If Mama ways. But, the two genders also have many similarities. I’ve learned that most men real-
ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Well, in the Gasque household, if Clarence wasn’t ly are good guys. There are a few rotten apples in the barrel. But, be honest ladies,
happy was the mantra instead. I know my Daddy loved us. It wasn’t always obvious there are some girls you don’t really want to be around either, aren’t there?
through his sometimes gruff exterior; but, he loved us. He worked hard to provide for I’ve learned that God made each of us with a purpose and that, if we will strive
us. We always had food on the table and appropriate clothes to wear. My mother was to follow His will for our lives, we can all make a positive impact on our world. I’ve
able to be a stay-at-home mom. She had been a very successful cosmetologist in the learned that in His love there is always a place and a way of beginning again.
1930s, prior to her marriage to my dad. When she returned to work for Queen Ann I’m glad God created men and women to be different. According to Genesis,
Sims (her previous employer) thirty years later, she again made some of those same He made us to be complementary to each other. We need to learn to be more com-
ladies even more beautiful. But, family always came first. Daddy always came first. All plimentary to each other, too.
of our schedules revolved around him.
When I was growing up, most of the men in my life were authority figures. Loving Father,You have shown us the perfect model of what a man needs to be and
There were teachers and principals at school, ministers at church, law enforcement offi- how a man needs to live. Thank you for that example. Thank you for the men who are com-
cers, firemen, and others. Typically, there was a sense of respect and awe and a little mitted to follow in Your way. Help those of us who love them to be an encouragement as they
fear thrown in. My, have times changed in this world! follow You. Help us to see their positive contributions and to minimize their shortcomings, real-
When I was a freshman in college, I had dated this guy for about three weeks izing that we aren’t perfect, either. Grant all of us the grace to listen and to encourage and
when he said,“God told me we were supposed to get married.” I found that interest- to bless those whose lives we touch. Thank you for making us – both men and women – in
ing, since God had not conveyed a similar message to me. In fact, thirty-eight years Your image. Help us to live in a way that shows others through our words and actions that
we are Yours. Amen.
Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef. ®
In her spare time, she follows orders from her feline children with whom she lives in Florence.
42 5/25/09 12:25 PM Page 1
shop
talk with
JERRY WEAVER
About Me: I have always had a passion for artistic expression. Way back when I was in school, it was painting and drawing. After
graduation, it evolved into music; I was the lead singer for a local Beach Music band. That lasted about thirty years. I was also
involved in the construction of furniture at La-Z-Boy East for twenty-some years. My wife and son, Eddie, help out with wood-
working projects occasionally. I hope to introduce and teach my grandchildren my craft one day. The main thing
that I would like folks to know about me is that I love what I do.
Weaver Woodworking’s Origin: Actually, giving my hobby a name – Weaver Woodworking – just kind of hap-
pened when I saw the need to have business cards printed. I never dreamed that so many people would be interested in my work in the beginning (which,
by the way, started out with my little rocking horses). For those that don’t know, I’m the guy in the red truck they see around the area at Christmas with the
rocking horses riding on the back of the truck. I get a real kick out of people flagging me down to get a closer look.
What We Do: My motto is,“If it’s wood, we do it.” As of today’s date, I have not turned anyone away. Sometimes, we do it even if it isn’t wood. I’m referring
to the “Down-A-Clown” (hand-painted clown faces) carnival game that I built for a local church for their fall festival. It involved cloth and a sewing machine
and a lot of hand-painted clown faces. Beyond that, I would have to say we make dreams come true. If a client can express to me what they want, I can
usually build it. Most of the time when I take on a project for someone (speaking mostly regarding furniture), it’s because they know exactly what they
want, but they can’t find it in the retail market. For example, I recently built a tall TV stand for a couple that had a picture of a cabinet available local-
ly. The only problem was, the one they could buy in the furniture store was six inches too wide for the space they wanted to put it in. I have also
done quite a bit of cabinet work, built intricate stairways and trimed out houses. A large part of my business is furniture and cabinet repair.
Most Popular Items: I would have to say my most popular items are the things that I build for children (personalized rocking chairs, rocking hors-
es and toy boxes). Hopefully, the quality that I build into these items will make them family heirlooms. I build them to last. Oftentimes, grand-
parents that buy these things from me will tell me where they are sending them. Going by this information, my products are all over the United
States. While I do have several products that have become poplar such as the children’s items, lately it has been the cypress porch swings and
gliders and the Gamecock sign. Most of my work is custom one-of-a kind pieces. I do try to keep a few children’s rocking chairs and horses
on hand, as well as porch swings.
Most Rewarding Work: Some of the most rewarding work that I do is repairing family heirloom pieces for people, which has included reweav-
ing cane seats and backs of chairs. The glues used on a lot of older furniture is not anywhere near the quality that is available today. I have had
furniture brought to me in boxes to re-assemble.
Most Prized Pieces of Work: My most prized piece to date is an antique oak rocking chair replica that I built back in January of this year. Mary
Lundgren from Wisconsin came through Florence and saw my ad in She Magazine. She told me that they had a chair in their family that was orig-
inally their grandmother’s. Unfortunately, there was one chair and two granddaughters that wanted it. She said she had approached many wood-
workers over the years and couldn’t find anyone willing to take on the task of replicating it. She e-mailed photos to me and I told her that I
would like to give it a try. I had wanted to build an adult chair for a long time and this appeared to be the per-
fect opportunity to do it. She was able to pry the chair away from her sister long enough for me to make
some templates and take some measurements. After sitting in it myself, I named it the “Magical
Rocking Chair.” There was something very special about it. So, before building one for Mrs.
Lundgren, I built one for myself. Other than that, I have built several bedroom suites
and most of the furniture in my home. I am a fanatic about quality hardwood furni-
ture. I hope that my heirs will prize my furniture when I’m no longer around.
Father’s Day Suggestions: I suggest a porch swing or glider. For the sports-minded, I
have Clemson and Carolina yard signs, among several other hand carved signs target-
ed at fathers. Perhaps Dad would like a new doghouse for his “best friend.”
Contact Me: I do not operate a store to speak of, just a workshop. I will meet with
clients at my home or at theirs to discuss potential projects. I have a website
(www.weaverwoodworking.com) that displays photos of past projects and I have many
personal pieces in my home that I would be glad to show to clients so that they can
see the quality of my work firsthand. My hours are very versatile. My phone number is
843-665-7474.
Jerry Weaver and his wife, Sharon, live in Florence.
They have four children and thirteen grandchildren.
43 5/20/09 3:47 PM Page 1
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“It is the goal of A Choice 2 M8K to reach out
to women and men of all ages in the Pee Dee who
find themselves affected by a crisis or unexpected
pregnancy in order to promote pro-life options. ”
-by Cookie Cawthon
H Her breath is shallow and her abdomen tied in knots as she scans the
drug store aisle signs to determine where she might find what she needs. She
doesn’t make eye contact with other shoppers for fear that they may see her story
in her eyes. She doesn’t stand too close for fear that someone might sense the
tension in her body. She waits until no one is on the aisle to make her way down
it. She pretends to check out other products – afraid of being seen.
Once she is sure no one is remotely close by, she quickly reads the front
of the boxes before her. 99% Accurate. Easy to Read Results. Results 5
Days Sooner.
He’s waiting in the car, so she hastily grabs her choice and darts
to the cashier when she sees that the coast is clear.
One line or two? A plus or a minus in the indicator window?
Longest three minutes on the planet. Receiving a positive mark on a test
doesn’t always seem like something to celebrate. That A on her Calculus test – operation of 1160 pregnancy centers, and has already received amazing support
definitely! That plus on her pregnancy test… and encouragement from the local community: OB/GYNs volunteering free ultra-
Oh, no! sounds, attorneys volunteering their expertise in starting a non-profit organization,
This young couple has a choice to make. And soon (fall of this year) there and a small army of Facebook friends excited about the vision for the center.
will be a new community organization to help people who find themselves living It is the goal of A Choice 2 M8K to reach out to women and men of all
out this scenario – the scenario of an unexpected or crisis pregnancy. ages in the Pee Dee who find themselves affected by a crisis or unexpected preg-
Though Florence had long been served by the ministry of Bethany nancy in order to promote pro-life options. They will provide free and confiden-
Christian Services, a non-profit adoption and family service agency, Bethany closed tial pregnancy testing, pregnancy counseling, post-abortion counseling, parenting
its Pee Dee office last year, leaving the area without crisis pregnancy counseling and classes, abstinence training in the community, adoption information, and birth con-
assistance. That was unacceptable to a group of local Christians who organized trol information. The center will also distribute free baby and maternity items.
around the cause; they formed a steering committee (which has now grown into a At this stage in the game, Carla is spearheading the effort to raise money,
Board of Directors) to begin the process of establishing Florence’s first crisis preg- enlist and train volunteers, and publicly promote the center;Adam is devoting many
nancy center. Though it has already been a massive group effort, two individuals volunteer hours and has been a significant help to Carla in the areas of fundraising
have poured themselves into this vision: Adam and Carla Wright. and publicity. In a collaborative effort with the Board, the Wrights are helping make
Adam and Carla, originally from Rome, Georgia, have made Florence their it happen. Carla and Adam state, “It is impossible to think of ourselves as a Hero
home for the past six years. The couple will celebrate eleven years of marriage this and Shero because of the tremendous amount of time and effort each board mem-
July and have a two year-old son,Adam Jr. Adam spent six years as a youth pastor ber and volunteer has put forth. Anyone who has a part in saving lives and/or
before becoming the minister of music at the Palmetto Street Church of God. changing them for the better is a hero.”
Carla has served there as the music and fine arts and drama coach for the past six Carla and Adam feel unworthy of being in the spotlight of this endeavour.
years. Together she and Adam, having worked in ministry for twelve years, have a Numerous Christians and community leaders have put forth their effort of sup-
history and a passion for investing in the lives of youth and promoting wise deci- port through work and prayer.To the steering committee and Board of Directors;
sion-making among them. Carla has also put that passion to work professionally words could never testify of your dedication. However, every Pro-Life decision
for the past six years, working as a Prevention Specialist for four years and a Birth makes it all worth while.
Parent Counselor for almost two. Currently, the center is in need of monetary donations, new and used
So, as the local effort to create a new crisis pregnancy center began to baby and maternity items, and volunteers for the hotline, crisis pregnancy training,
gain momentum, the Board considered Carla a most logical choice for the position fundraising events, prayer support, and day-to-day office operations. Anyone inter-
of Executive Director. Since then, she and Adam have worked tirelessly to bring A ested in contacting the center or getting involved may email
Choice 2 M8K Crisis Pregnancy Center into fruition. The center will be affiliated achoice2m8k@gmail.com.
with Care Net, a national organization that specializes in the foundation and daily
Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3), Diet Pepsi addict, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.
44 5/22/09 11:36 AM Page 2
45 5/26/09 10:30 AM Page 1
Congratulations
Tonda Spinks, R.N.
One nurse, however, did stand out among such an incredible group of healthcare professionals.
Tonda Spinks, R.N., was our winner. Her dedication to providing outstanding care exceeds not only
our expectations, but also those of our patients. We thank Tonda and we congratulate her for making
a difference in our community.
www.c a rolinashospital.c om
46-47 5/26/09 9:29 AM Page 1
”
in both directions, family for dad, dad for family.
Larry Miller and his wife, Rankin, live in Florence. They have three children – Joanna, Sarah and Lawton, who is in Heaven.
46-47 5/26/09 9:29 AM Page 2
continued...
There is this thing called joy – and there’s nothing like it. Having a deep
sense of faith was of immense consequence as our family sought to recover from our
loss. I’ve shared with many my whimsical affinity for the phrase “and they all lived
happily ever after,” saying I prefer all movies to end this way. The reality for me is
that this is how I expect to end up one day – in Heaven with my whole family – liv-
ing happily ever after. This comforting absolution of belief is of great value in work-
ing through the grief, as well as (and this I cannot emphasize enough) the willingness
of everyone to accept that we all grieve in our own time. It just takes some longer
to get over things than others, but time does help. It also helps to tell people,“Most
of the time, I’m okay and, sometimes, I’m not.” For some odd reason, people are usu-
ally pleased to hear this, as if they are glad to see you in good spirits at the moment
but having satisfied their concern that you are still dealing with loss. Though we may
stubbornly resist, time does bring about healing. If we are willing, with the passage
of time, we conclude that life goes on and we are to be fully involved in it. That, how-
ever, is a conscious decision that many are unwilling to make. Within our family, we
chose the path of joy.
So, as a dad, what has this meant and where has it led? Joy, for me, is being
able to be with my family – Rankin, Joanna and Sarah – and simply enjoy each other’s
company in free-flowing conversation, cutting up and laughing at life’s foibles and frus-
trations. Also, as a dad, it is my hope that my girls have developed a balanced per-
spective on life, willing to look at both sides of everything and respecting differing
points of view. I wish for them to have fun (but not too much) and to be responsi-
ble and thrifty (but not a Scrooge). I wish for them to be comfortable with who they
are, unpretentious and genuine. Mostly, I wish for them to be compassionate and
understanding of those less fortunate. From their own experience growing up, I
think they have already accomplished this.
A major point I would
like to make on celebrating
Father’s Day, whether you are a
dad or the spouse or child of a
dad, Father’s Day is a day of
appreciation – appreciation in
both directions, family for dad,
Efficient, reliable, clean – natural gas is the smart
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our thanks for all that we have energy choice for your home. It’s not just about
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Despite knowing that our son is energy efficient, more cost-effective to operate, last
in Heaven, there is also a sense
longer and require less maintenance. And, natural gas
of emptiness and loss. You can’t
help it, but you can choose your is one of the most environmentally-friendly energy
attitude. You can choose to sources available.
avoid dwelling on it to the detri-
Larry Miller with son, Lawton
ment of your whole day – and
Be sure to ask your builder for natural gas in your
the day of those around you.
For me, on Father’s Day, there will be moments of reflection that suddenly next home. If you’re already an SCE&G natural gas
remind me of that sense of emptiness in my heart, but there will also be periods of customer and want to add additional natural gas
joy when reflecting on specific times when Lawton and I were together (like a foot-
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ball game or a Darlington race). There will be the remarks from others about dads
being with their sons on Father’s Day, which penetrates like a dagger, reopening that
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hole in my heart from not having him here. But, that is offset by my choosing to recall or visit SCE&G’s virtual home at sceg.com/value.
something silly that my son said or did, with the resultant chuckle of contentment.
See, it’s a mixture of emotions and they all need to be experienced and acknowl-
edged in accepting the way things are.
These things together – the tears and the laughter, the sadness and the fond
recollections – all give us a richness of spirit in recognizing our unconditional love
for our offspring.To deny any of these is to limit our depth of feeling and understand-
ing in assessing that which is dear. Life is different without our loved ones, but they
are no less loved, nor are they forgotten. Neither is life over and the ones who have
passed on certainly wouldn’t want us sitting around moping all day long.
Therefore, I have chosen to have a very nice Father’s Day. It could be emo-
tional. It could have its ups and downs. That’s okay. My son will be delighted to see
that we are joyful in life on earth. And some day, when we all are living happily ever www.comfortableresponsible.org www.sceg.com/value
after, we’ll talk with him about it.
Meanwhile, spend your Father’s Day in a fashion that brings joy to both
yourself and, more importantly, to the ones you love.
48 5/25/09 12:26 PM Page 1
ANDROPAUSE:
The Male
Menopause
by J. Marshall Dent, III, MD
W ith June being the month we celebrate Father’s Day, what better time to
give the men some press. I have written many articles about hormones and their
Well, how do we determine if one is low in testosterone? A total testos-
terone should be checked between 7 and 10 AM. The normal range is above 400ng/dl,
effects on women. Why not discuss the issue about hormones and how they affect but this may also require treatment if he is having symptoms. What I mean is, a par-
men? This article will probably be read by very few men, so it is important for you, ticular man may function well at 600ng/dl, but the decline has his levels at 450ng/dl and
women, to take the message to your husbands or significant others. he is symptomatic. Therefore, you have to base it on the clinical picture, not just the
There is a one-percent-per-year decline in testosterone levels after age 30. lab value. I also look at a baseline estrogen level because, with treatment, you don’t
During the years between ages 40 and 55, men often experience symptoms of what want to increase the estrogen level. I also get a baseline prostate-specific antigen level
is termed,Andropause. It is the gradual decline in testosterone in men associated with because we need to make sure the level doesn’t rise after treatment. It is also impor-
aging. I first started addressing this hormone imbalance in men in regards to weight tant to make sure there is not an underlying prostate problem.
loss. I noticed that men have the same issues as women when it comes to hormon- Once we have identified a problem of low testosterone, there are several
al balance in that as their testosterone levels decline, their weight increases. modalities of treatment that are available. It is a little tricky with testosterone treat-
It is estimated that four to five million men in the United States have testos- ment in men in that you must not give it in too high a dose or too rapid an onset of
terone deficiency, yet less than five percent are being treated for their disorder. action. The reason is the testosterone will be converted to estrogen and this coun-
Although estrogen is considered the standard of care for menopausal women, andro- teracts the benefit you are trying to achieve. My idea on treatment is to use topical
gen replacement is not well accepted for men. Most all of my male patients are testosterone in a low dose and slowly increase the dose until symptoms are resolved
referred to me by their wives for hormone treatment. Well, ladies, how do you deter- and then measure the level. This is the level you must try to maintain. This can be
mine if your husbands have an androgen deficiency? Have your husband (or yourself) done through patches and gels and long-acting pellets.
answer the following questions: There is a commercially-available product, AndroGel, which can be found at
• Do you have decreased sex drive? the pharmacy. It is probably the most prescribed product for testosterone replace-
• Do you have a lack of energy? ment for men. The dose has some down sides in that it requires a large area for ade-
• Do you have a decline in strength? quate absorption and this can be messy. It often ends up on the sheets, clothing and
• Are you moody and easily irritated? loved ones. It is also very expensive. I prefer testosterone creams made up by a com-
• Have you noticed a decline in sexual performance? pounding pharmacist that can provide testosterone in a stronger strength, which
• Are you having a hard time losing weight? requires less to be applied – and at a reduced cost.
• Are you falling asleep after dinner? There are ways to increase your testosterone naturally, primarily through
• Are you having trouble losing weight? exercise, which focuses on weight resistance training. The supplements that raise
If he answered yes to any three, he should be tested for testosterone deficiency. testosterone and lower estrogen include B6 and B12, magnesium, omega three fatty
Another problem is that obesity further lowers testosterone levels. The Journal of acids found in flaxseed and fish oil, saw palmetto, vitamin C and E and zinc. I would
Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism showed that overweight men have androgen lev- encourage any man over the age of 45 to supplement his diet with zinc, 50mg twice
els 30 to 40 percent lower than those of lean men. Other hormones such as corti- a day, which helps prevent the aromatization of testosterone to estrogen.
sol and leptin can lower testosterone, as well. The biggest problem with being over- Ladies, men are often too proud to admit (even to themselves) that they may
weight is that obesity causes men to have high estrogen levels. Fat cells contain an be sliding into andropause. So, if you feel like your man is lacking that spark that he
enzyme known as aromatase, which converts testosterone to estrogen. We all know once had and you want to persuade him to at least try to get back to the energetic,
what excess estrogen can do to women and their weight. As testosterone levels loving and romantic man you fell in love with, I encourage you to drag him to get test-
decline, it leads to a decline in growth hormone, leading to a further decline in mus- ed. It’s the first step to improving his health, longevity and sex life.
cle mass and increase in body fat.
If you have questions about the information in this article, you may contact Dr. Dent at Complete Women’s Health Care in Florence.
Dr. Dent is Board Certified in Family Practice and Obstetrics and Gynecology and also holds an Advanced Certification in Menopausal Medicine.
51 5/25/09 12:14 PM Page 1
52 5/26/09 4:41 PM Page 1
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53 5/21/09 3:24 PM Page 1
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Ascension Hospice
of Florence
From left to right: Ashlee Emerson, Kathy Riggan, RN, Cayla Avant, RN,
Diane Watson, LBSW, MS, Brandy Flowers, RN, Rebecca Fogleman, RN
In a letter to She Magazine,Virginia K. Roof, R.N.
Case Manager, wrote:
.Shopping List
2 Cups of self-rising flour 1 8-ounce tub of Cool Whip
2 Sticks of margarine - melted 4 Cups of fresh sliced peaches
1 Cup of chopped nuts 1 Cup of sugar
(I prefer walnuts) 4 Tablespoons of flour
1 8-ounce package of cream cheese 5 Tablespoons of peach Jell-O
2 1/2 Cups of confectioners sugar
Directions
For First Layer: For Third Layer:
2 Cups of self-rising flour 4 Cups of fresh sliced peaches
2 Sticks of margarine – melted
Spread the peaches evenly over the
1 Cup of chopped nuts second layer.
(I prefer walnuts)
P each D elight
I was introduced to this incredible peach dessert in the summer of In late May, I begin looking for the first peaches to arrive so that I
1987 when visiting my aunt, Jean Cox, (by marriage) at her home in Augusta, can make this special treat for my family. The hint of salt from the nuts in the
Georgia. It was the most delicious dessert I had ever tasted and it still is. It’s crust combines with the sweetness of the cream cheese mixture and the unex-
such a hit in our home that my children ask for it instead of birthday cake pected tanginess of the Peach Jell-O mixture to create a truly unique dessert
since their birthdays are in the summer when fresh, ripe peaches are avail- that is sure to be a summer favorite at your home, too! It’s called Peach
able. Delight, but it should be called Peach Heaven!
58 5/26/09 8:04 PM Page 1
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F AT H E R H O O D :
The Role of a Lifetime
by Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD
W
With all the articles and attention to motherhood, one could quickly forget they see, so be careful of your words and actions towards your son’s mother. Not only
about the infinitely important father. We rely on their strength and protection. We will the son mirror the father’s actions towards the mother, he will generalize it to all
depend on their solid foundation. Whether it’s “Papa,” “Daddy,” “Dad,” “Pops” or women. This is best done by fathers; mothers are not usually considered members of
“Father,” whether in the home or not in the home, there is a defined identity for father- the club (if you know what I mean). Be the man you want them to become. Sons do
ing. How families divide parenting and household roles differs from home to home; but best with clear verbally addressed home rules and leave little to nuance. As a father, it’s
one truth is always constant – dads are so important. important to lead your home, create your home rules and enforce its consequences.
Let your sons know that parenting is a joint venture and the rules of respect are the
The Early Years: Many fathers struggle with the new role of parent and may feel same for their mothers. Talk to them about the bad things; lead them towards the good
steam-rolled by the instinctive and exhausting drives of the mother. Fathers develop a things. Keep open communication. Make sure you discuss emotions, as well. It does-
sense of pride for their children, their own accomplishment of creating life and the iden- n’t have to be touchy-feely, but sons do need to know that their dads have feelings and
tity of provider is thrust to the forefront, often creating anxiety. Although most dads try know how to deal with them.
to be hands-on, many feel less adept at infant care than mothers, further exacerbating
the anxiety related to the question,“What can I do to help?” Babies are able to differ- Dads and Moms: Dads are so important to the raising of their children. An equal
entiate their father’s voice from a stranger’s voice within a few days of life. They enjoy partner in parenting raises children to expect that of their spouse and also allows them
being held and listening to the different tone in their father’s voice. Just like mothers to contribute their unique gifts to their children. Dads and moms need to co-parent,
adjust to their new role as a mother, don’t forget the silent partner. He is working communicate, negotiate and present a united front. Family is first. Dads, be sure you
towards meeting up to his, his spouse’s and his child’s expectations. That can be a tall meet every three months (at least) to discuss how you and your partner approach par-
order, but it’s an important one to fill. enting (whether together or divorced, it’s important). I mean, you change your oil in
your car that often. Doesn’t your family deserve the same attention? It’ll improve the
Dads and Daughters: The relationship between dads and daughters develops dif- family mileage and efficiency. Remember, the focus is on the children. You will benefit
ferently in families. Whether she’s a tomboy or likes to watch her skirt twirl, she cap- from their successes and deeply feel their failures. Stay involved so you can impact the
tures his heart. However, fathers struggle sometimes with the pubescent daughter. directions they choose.
Rules seem to change overnight about what is and is not appropriate in their relation-
ship. This change can be hard for fathers and daughters, alike. Development of breasts, Dads, you are needed, you are special, you are capable of parenting contribu-
interest in boys and increased feminist behaviors can be distressing to fathers. The pro- tions that are difficult for mothers. Tell your spouse if she edges you out of parenting
tector within is activated as they have a whole new category of perceived predators – and request an equal approach. I cannot begin to tell you the impact you will have.
the teenage boy. Some fathers make rigid rules. Some work on maintaining open com- Maybe I don’t have to tell you. Just do it – and you’ll see.
munication and some distance themselves and divert parenting to the mother. The best
approach to the normal developmental stage is to maintain your relationship with “A very special Happy Father’s Day to my husband, my partner. You are my
your daughter. She’s still your little girl and always will be. A relationship with complete parenting complement, strong when I am not, patient when I struggle
her father will help her self-esteem and encourage her to say no to the bad and kind enough not to point it out. What a true gift you are to our son and to
things. Fathers are more experienced in regards to the teen boy’s agenda and his future. I can only hope he’ll take after his father.” - Lea Pritchard-Boone
calm discussions of what to be aware of is very important. Girls hear their
mothers, but they really listen to their fathers when discussing boys. Be careful
not to alienate your daughters with statements like, “You can’t date until your
30.” Yes, you mean this in jest (I hope), but it can feel like a punishment – a
punishment for being a girl, as I rarely hear the same statement applied to
sons. It also implies distrust and poor parental communication, flexibility
and empathy. It’s a normal anxiety to feel, but work with your daughter
by educating her. This is an area where dads can be experts. Be the
role model for the type of man you want her to marry; therefore, she
will require those positive characteristics of whom she dates.
Dads and Sons: Boys will be boys. Why do fathers want sons
so badly? Let’s be honest; it’s so they can be little boys again!
Fathers take on the fun role of playmate and the challenging role
of mentor. Fathers are the perfect parent for both; they don’t
bruise as easily. What fathers of sons should remember is to
give equal attention to developing the man within your boy, not
just honoring the boy within himself. The way they manage
conflict in friendships and romantic relationships will be a
direct result of the father’s influence. Children also do what
Dr. Lea Pritchard-Boone is the mother of Dalton (3) and wife to Austin.
She is Psychology Fellow of the LifeCare Psychology Group, LLC (formerly
known as the Behavioral Health Group), in Florence and focuses primarily
on treating children and adolescents.
63 5/20/09 4:35 PM Page 1
64 5/21/09 3:31 PM Page 1
Campus Chick
Camille
Cunningham
Clemson University
MY FAMILY: Parents, Margaret and Tim Cunningham; WORK: I’ll work this summer, but I chose not to work dur-
Sisters, Caroline McKillop and Claire Cunningham ing my freshman year of college because I thought the adjust-
ment would be enough to keep me busy.
HIGH SCHOOL: West Florence High School
ACTIVITIES AS A COLLEGE STUDENT: My friends
COLLEGE: Clemson University with plans to graduate in and I go to the football, basketball and baseball games. We
2012 also participated in small gatherings that were hosted outside
our dorms on Lever Beach for the freshman class. In my
ATTRACTION: I wanted to go to a school that was big spare time, I like to work out, play tennis, spend time with
enough for me to meet many different types of people but friends and family, hang out at the pool, shop around, read and
small enough so that I wouldn’t get lost in the number. go to the beach whenever I can.
Clemson is just that and has been a perfect fit.
BIGGEST LEARNING EXPERIENCE AS A COL-
LEGE STUDENT: I had to change my study habits and my
MAJOR: Pre-Professional Health Sciences
time management because my classes have been all over cam-
pus, at many different times during the day and they have left
FAVORITE SUBJECT: Psychology me with barely any time to study or get work done between
classes. Also, classes are completely different in college than
FAVORITE HANGOUTS IN CLEMSON: Lake in high school. Some professors have completely different
Hartwell, relaxing on Bowman Field and Lever Beach, Spill the expectations that I have had to adapt to. I have definitely had
Beans Ice Cream Shop to learn how to balance my time to keep up with family and
friends and maintain good grades, while still having some fun.
DREAM JOB: To own a boutique
IF I COULD DO ANYTHING DIFFERENTLY: I
SCHEDULE: During this school year, my schedule was would have tried to be a little more involved in other student
quite hectic. I think it mostly felt this way because I was still activities and I would have joined more clubs that would have
trying to get adjusted to college life. helped me meet other people and promoted my academics.
FURTHER EDUCATION PLANS: I would either like PLANS FOR THE SUMMER: I plan on traveling as
to continue in the pre-professional health field or switch into much as I can. Both my sisters are living in Charleston right
the nursing program at Clemson. I have seriously considered now. My oldest sister will be having her first child in
continuing my education after college at the Medical September and I want to be with her as much as possible to
University of South Carolina in Charleston if I continue down help prepare for the baby. My other sister is engaged, so I
a professional health career path. want to be with her to help plan the wedding. Plus, I’ll be
spending time in Florence with my parents.
Campus Chick
67 5/25/09 10:59 AM Page 1
ACCEPT THE
FATHER’S
Love by Sherry S. Page
T his month, we celebrate and honor fathers. Happy Father’s Day to all
you Dads! May God’s strength, grace and wisdom rest upon each of you as you
fulfill the God-ordained position of covering for your family. See Ephesians 5.
our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Thank God, He gives anoth-
er chance to be and do what He has called us to do. Don’t give up! “We can do
all things through Christ Who strengthens us” (Philippians 4:13). Your addiction or
What a responsibility you fathers have to lead your family in the ways of the Lord. problem is not too big for Him. Jesus is bigger than any problem you have. There
Men should be heads of their homes out of respect to God - not as proud dicta- is unlimited power in the Name of Jesus and the enemy has to bow and flee when
tors. God ordained man’s position to be the covering and protection for the fam- the Name of Jesus is spoken. “Be subject to God, resist the devil and he will flee
ily. In the absence of the father through death, divorce or refusal of this responsi- from you” (James 4:7). When temptation comes, run to the presence of God
bility, the mother becomes the main spiritual leader. In many homes today when through prayer and praise. There’s freedom for you. Jesus wants to fill that void
the father is not a committed Christian and does not guide his family in the Lord’s in your life that you have tried to fill with some habitual sin and the results have
ways, the mother has to take the responsibility of rearing the children spiritually. been devastating for you and your family. But, your disappointment is God’s
These fathers who have not accepted the place of Christian leadership do not real- appointment. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8).
ize how vulnerable he, his wife and children are to the attacks from the enemy. There is hope in the Lord Jesus Christ. What Satan intends for harm, God can turn
When men refuse to give up harmful habits, lust, anger or abuse, it opens the door it around for something good as we seek Him. There is physical, emotional and
for Satan to come in. While a praying wife and mother by herself can cause God’s spiritual healing in the Name of Jesus. “The enemy has come to steal, kill and
Hand to move, it is so much better for the family if Mom and Dad both are fulfill- destroy, but Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly” (John
ing their spiritual leadership positions. 10:10). “God is able to do exceedingly far over and above all that we could dare
A bumper sticker reads,“Real men love Jesus.” Husbands and Dads, don’t ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20).
back down from the God-given place as a Christian leader of your home. Like “You are God’s workmanship and you are loved with His everlasting love”
father, like son (or daughter). Your children are going to pick up some of your (Jeremiah 31:3). No matter what you have done, He loves you! He has a special
habits, good or bad. They are going to follow in your footsteps in many ways. purpose for your life. “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says
Don’t allow the enemy, Satan, to get a foothold in your home through attacks on the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you
you, your wife and children because you refuse to be the spiritual head of your hope in your final outcome” (Jeremiah 29.11). I Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all our
home. Dads, take the necessary steps to be the spiritual protection they need. cares (or worries) on Him because He cares for us. Come to Jesus now if you do
Likewise, children are to respect their father and mother and abide by their teach- not have a personal relationship with Him. He is right there waiting for you to ask
ings. See Ephesians 6:1, Proverbs 6:20-21 and Proverbs 30:17. Blessed are the Him in your heart and life if you never have or if you would like to rededicate your
young people who have come to Jesus even when one or both parents are not life to Him, you might pray this prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for lov-
Christians. ing me and sending Your only Son, Jesus, to die on a cruel cross for my sins. I am
Perhaps while reading this, God is speaking to your heart and you are sorry for my sins, Jesus, and ask You to forgive me. Come into my heart and save
thinking that you have failed in bringing up your children in the Lord. As long as me. Baptize and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. I commit my life to You. Lead me
we have breath, it is not too late to ask God’s forgiveness and start anew with Him. and help me to live the Christian life in service for You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
I John 1:9 assures us that if we have sinned, He is faithful and just to forgive us of Accept the Father’s love!
Sherry S. Page Atkinson lives in Marion with her husband, Jimmy.Those wishing to contact her may do so at the following address:
6526 South Highway 41 or you may e-mail her at: sherrya@nethwy.com.
68 5/25/09 11:04 AM Page 1
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To be featured in “There She Goes,” send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com. Include a picture of yourself
(friends welcome!) with a copy of She Magazine along with a brief description.
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Pictured back row, left to right: Mike Weatherford, Bobby Streett, Dr. Benjamin Woods, Matt Watford, Randall Graham and Sam Mitchell
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On Floor: Steve Mace and Barry Frick
74-75 5/26/09 9:22 AM Page 2
ABOUT ME: I was born and raised in MY HIGH SCHOOL BASEBALL CAREER: I in high school and I played Outfield another
Florence, SC, and I’ve lived here my entire life. played baseball at West Florence High School year. My senior year, I played First Base. At
I have two of the best parents, Gary and and was a member of the Varsity Team for all FMU, I’m mostly playing Outfield.
Elizabeth Smetana. I’m lucky enough to have an four years. I was All-Region all of those four
older sister, Meagan, who is twenty-two. I also years. A couple awards I received during my MY INSPIRATION: One person who has
have a younger brother (19), who is graduating high school career included Best Defense one inspired me the most is my father. As a former
from West Florence High School. He has com- year and Best Hitter another year. FMU player, he inspires me to work hard and
mitted to USC Sumter to play baseball. As a good things will come. He also motivates me
potential 2011 graduate from Francis Marion MY FMU BASEBALL CAREER: I’m a member because I want to be better than he was. He
University, I’m studying Sociology, focusing in of the Francis Marion University Patriots jokes about how good he was in college.
the Criminal Justice area. I’m also working on Baseball Team as a redshirt freshman this year.
a Minor in General Business. I have three more years at FMU. I’ve met some MY DREAM FOR THE FUTURE: My dream is
truly great guys. Many will be with me until we to play in the Minors and work my way up. I
MY LOVE FOR BASEBALL: I’ve loved baseball graduate and I’ve seen some older guys go on. plan to work hard for the things I want out of
for as long as I can remember. I think back on life and be successful on and off the baseball
the days when my father would take my broth- MY FLORENCE RED WOLVES CAREER: field.
er and me outside as young boys and throw Growing up in the Florence area, I went to the
the ball to us and teach us about the game. I Florence Red Wolves’ games as a young boy. I
began playing tee ball around the age of four
and I’ve been playing ever since. I love being on
different teams and meeting people from all
over the world. Many of your teammates
told my father that, one day, I would be playing
for the Red Wolves. Since I chose to attend a
local college, I decided I wanted to play for my
local fans. Many college players like to travel
“ I’VE LOVED
BASEBALL FOR
become lifelong friends that you might never
have met other than on a baseball team. On
over the summer to play summer ball; I can do
that by playing with the Red Wolves. I also like
AS LONG AS
my collegiate team, I have become friends with
one of the guys from South Africa. Besides the
to play close to home, though, to allow my fam-
ily to come watch me play.
I CAN
game itself, meeting people is one of the things
I love most about baseball. MY POSITION: I’m a Catcher/ Outfielder/ REMEMBER...
”
First Baseman. I was a Catcher for two years
77 5/21/09 4:29 PM Page 1
ENJOYING
Enjoying the sounds of our surroundings is
something my father and I have always shared,
whether it’s the thunder of a passing truck, the
chirping of a distant bird or (my favorite) the rapid
grown-up swamps mark different parts of his past.
As I pass along those same markings with him, I
wonder about what all he must have seen and
experienced on the river, even thinking further
refuge. This is when River Rat’s Canoe Rentals was
introduced. Two years later, he is doing what he
loves and sharing it with others.
No matter how many times we travel
rushing of waterfalls. back to what Francis Marion could have witnessed down that river – even if it’s the same stretch
My dad has had me on the water all my on that same river many years ago. we’ve seen dozens of times – we never lose inter-
life. Some of the best memories we share are on Lynches River is where my dad spends est. There is always a new mystery to be discov-
the cold fast-flowing waters of the Chattooga most of his time now. He and my mom live on the ered – a new (or old) swamp pocketed deep with-
River. We wouldn’t even be in a boat, just in tubes river, allowing us to have the pleasures of a home in trees never seen before or ducklings splashing in
with the freezing water running beneath us. The with the beauty of the forest. That home (or as we the water behind their mother (similar to how I
thought of it now sends chills up my spine, but I’m call it, “the river house”') has become my dad’s paddle behind my father, consistently banging the
not sure if it’s from thinking about the cold water sanctuary, not so much the house but the environ- paddle on the side of the boat). The past two
or the excitement of being back there. We spent ment surrounding the house. As long as the sun’s times my father and I have gone kayaking, we saw
every summer either canoeing or tubing down the up, he’s outside. Most nights, even after the sun has a Bald Eagle. Sharing that experience with my dad
Chattooga River and skiing on Lake Marion and been down for hours, you’ll find him cleaning his has made me appreciate the wildlife that sur-
Lake Moultrie. When I was too young to be on boats with the help of a large spotlight. To my rounds me. Every trip we take leads us to some
skis by myself, my dad would hold me with one father, it’s just the peacefulness of the warm sum- sort of wildlife – deer, wild hogs, snakes, many birds
hand, the rope with the other hand, stand on a sin- mer water flowing beside him while doing any and beavers and reptiles. The list could go on and
gle ski and let someone pull us along behind the chore that makes it less of an obligation. It’s on.
boat. I don’t know how my mom could stand it. almost as if for one brief moment, you can escape Finding that safe haven to share with my
Dad had an early start on the water. He to a place with no worries, no time limits and no dad has made me appreciate him so much more. I
got the name “River Rat” as a teenager for his love rules. Unlike life, being on the water and in its sur- know even long after he’s gone (which will be
of Lynches River. If time were calculated correct- roundings is just simple. many, many years away), I’ll always have a place to
ly, I’m sure the hours Dad spent on Lynches would Dad became aware of all the privileges he connect with him.
add up to years – if not decades – of his life. He’s had – the perfect location, plenty of canoes and
familiar with every curve and crevice, every fallen kayaks and much knowledge of the river itself. He “Thanks for passing on the passion, Dad.
tree and sandy bank. The cypress knees and decided to invite others to enjoy his beautiful Happy Father’s Day!” - Heather
”
Heather is employed with She Magazine with too many job titles to mention. When she’s not working, she’s exploring the outdoors and planning new travels.
She recently earned the name Panda Bear for her wrestling role.
79 5/26/09 10:47 AM Page 1
yd
SOLUTIONS Florence, SC
843.413.3666
80 5/26/09 11:14 AM Page 1
FRESH
Fresh out of graduate school, Bennie Woods moved
to Florence to become an Instructor of Music at Francis
Marion College. Thirty-seven years later, Dr. Benjamin
Woods retired from Francis Marion University as a distin-
guished, well-loved, well-known professor. He came as a
phony orchestras and small ensembles. Dr. Woods
served as Music Director and Conductor of the Florence
Symphony Orchestra from 1996 – 2002, retiring from
that position to allow him more time for piano perform-
ance, his first love. Yet he always found time to teach and
Now that he has officially retired, Dr. Woods is look-
ing forward to more opportunities to concentrate on the
things he loves most: family, friends, and piano perform-
ance. He says that the “I’m retired” realization probably
won’t hit home until the fall. He’s so accustomed to hav-
single young man who impressed his students with his to encourage his students. ing the summers off, retirement so far seems normal.
caring attitude and his impressive talents. Those positive Throughout all of his accomplishments, he is still just With all of his commitments, however, no one has even
attributes have not changed. However, now he has a wife Bennie to his friends. Those friends range from former considered he might become bored any time soon.
and two adult children, who also enrich his life. students to famous people whose names are known When Sherry and Bennie can convince Christopher
Dr. Benjamin Woods earned the Doctor of Musical throughout the world. The fame and the accolades and and Adrienne to come back East, the Woods Family
Arts degree from the University of South Carolina in the rubbing shoulders with notable people, however, have Ensemble occasionally enthralls local audiences. Such will
Piano Performance in 1991. His wife, Dr. Sherry Woods, not changed the self-described homebody on the inside. be the case on June 12 at the Florence Little Theater. Dr.
has two DMA degrees from USC – one in Viola and the It was my privilege to be in the very first Music Sherry Woods has designed a program to meet the musi-
other in Composition. Christopher graduated from the Appreciation class Bennie Woods ever taught at Francis cal interests of almost everyone.
Manhattan School of Music. Daughter Adrienne is a grad- Marion. At that time, he was a young, energetic teacher Most of the works performed will revolve around the
uate of the University of South Carolina. who loved music and who wanted to share that love with theme of Fire and Water. Dr. Benjamin Woods will play a
In the intervening years, there have been innumerable anyone who would listen. He was encouraging and per- classical Ravel piece on the piano. Son Christopher will
experiences and honors and concerts. Perhaps the sonable and well-versed in all areas of music. Thirty-seven be featured on the violin in the Summer Concerto from
Woods’ proudest accomplishment, however, is evidenced years later, he remains energetic and continues to share the Four Seasons, by Vivaldi. Of Fire Born, composed by
in the lives of their two children. Together, the siblings his love of music with everyone he encounters. Recently, Dr. Sherry Woods, will have its world premiere at the
moved to Los Angeles about eight years ago. Adrienne he and I had occasion to chat about the changes in the event. This work will highlight the talents of the four
and Christopher have performed in various venues. You thirty-seven years we have known each other. In spite of Woods family members in addition to flute and soprano.
may have seen them in the orchestra on American Idol, the different paths our lives have taken, our friendship is On the other end of the musical spectrum, Christopher
Dancing With the Stars, the MTV awards, or other tele- as though we have traveled the same roads. One of the will present an original Rap called “God’s Got Your Back.”
vised productions. Dad says he is proudest, though, that most endearing qualities Bennie Woods possesses (and The evening of music benefits a worthy cause. It will
both of his children are independent, happy, and able to there are many) is his devotion to his friends. be an event to remember. The Florence community is
make a living in their chosen field of work. In 1972, the only classroom buildings on campus were truly blessed to have Bennie and Sherry Woods and their
Not to be left out, Bennie’s mother also lives in Stokes Hall and the Library. Music and Art classes were children call it home. They are giving of their time and tal-
Florence. Until recently, the 102 year old Mrs. Woods held at the old Mars Bluff School building, which had been ents to support the American Red Cross. Let’s join them
lived independently in her own home. She recently long since abandoned by the local public school district. in this effort.
moved to the Carolinian but remains much more ener- Bennie told me that he had the Hamilton upright piano in “From Rap to Ravel” – An evening with the Woods Family
getic than many folks who are much younger than she. his office at Mars Bluff because he was afraid his grand and Friends will be held on Friday night, June 12, from 8:00
Meeting her just once will answer any questions about piano would be in danger of incurring damage in that PM until 10:00 PM at the Florence Little Theater on South
where the rest of the Woods family get their momentum. building. (That was when I told him the story of the con- Dargan Street. The concert will benefit the Pee Dee
While Dr.Woods was on the faculty at Francis Marion, crete truck falling into the sidewalk it was pouring outside Chapter of the American Red Cross. Tickets start at $25.
he maintained a full performing schedule, as well. His the Library building in 1971, thus delaying the start of the There are other levels of support that are available, as well.
concerts have ranged from solo piano recitals at the college careers of my classmates and me for a day!) In spite Tickets can be purchased through the local American Red
Coolidge Auditorium of the Library of Congress and the of its rather shaky beginnings in the physical plant, Francis Cross chapter by calling 843.662.8121 or online at
Carnegie Recital Hall to faculty recitals at Francis Marion. Marion University has grown into a beautiful campus with http://peedee.redcross.org/content/index.html.
He has collaborated with other solo artists and with sym- academic programs that can rival many major universities.
Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef. ®
81 5/26/09 9:41 AM Page 1
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82 5/25/09 10:05 AM Page 1
it’s raining
MEN
the Forester,
the Survivor
“ ...OUR
WORLD AS
WE KNEW IT
WOULD NOT
Brian Leonard by Janet Tanner Leonard
EVER BE THE
”
SAME.
Collin M. Smith
Photography
Janet and Brian Leonard live in Florence. They have three children – Katherine, Kelly and Christopher.
83 5/22/09 3:41 PM Page 1
843-662-4327
Florence • Hartsville • Lake City
Dr. Lesley Kirby, AuD | Jane Heath, HIS #443
84 5/25/09 12:33 PM Page 1
it’s raining
MEN the Designer
Charles Jeffcoat
Collin M. Smith
Photography
AS
As an adolescent, I drew well and I drew often. thus we have Visual Communication. The second part Professionally, I enjoy design on the whole. It’s in my
I’ve also always been interested in design at most any of my title includes my research and ongoing work. I am nature and I love to create. I have a saying (I’m sure it
level. In high school, I was taught by a woman named also the Principal for a lucrative freelance design firm. comes from some other source), “Design is not art;
Sheila Cape. She was a woman small in stature yet We specialize in brand identity, print, web and most any good design is.” I don’t consider what I do to be fine
gigantic in her passion for art and teaching art. She aspect of design. art, but there is a connection. I’m a doodler, a sketch-
pushed us to explore our interests and that is when I er, an illustrator, a painter, etc. So, when someone asks
discovered a place with art and design. I began my stud- WHAT BEING A DESIGNER MEANS TO ME: I cannot if I’m an artist, for all intents and purposes, I am. Mostly,
ies in a small community college and continued on to look at anything without looking at the design of it all. however, I enjoy designing something that meets the
earn a Bachelor of Fine Arts and a Master of Fine Arts I believe design is at the heart of all things. A designer standard of the previous quote. To make something
in Graphic Design. is a creative problem solver. Each concept begins with that works – and works well – thereby crossing the line
My career in teaching is an interesting tale. In a problem – communicate this message, sell this prod- from design to art – this is what I love.
early 2000, I was forking for an ad firm and, in the midst, uct, give face to this company or group. I work to find
was asked to teach a senior level design class at the the best solution and strategy for the problem and, WHAT SPARKS MY CREATIVITY: Many things – the
University of South Alabama in Mobile. I’m a relational from there, the concept and message behind it. When world, nature, architecture (I am a big fan), my children,
person by nature, so this was an immediate fit. Later, asked what I design, the answer is, “Everything!” There my wife, the work of others – all these spark my cre-
the agency came into financial difficulty and I was laid off is an eye and an ideology that is or becomes ingrained ativity. For me, it’s soothing to spend time feeding the
– the best thing that ever happened to me. Being laid in every professional designer. The short answer is creative mind by looking at the works of others – not
off forced me to explore and ask hard questions of logos and identity packages, brochures, packaging, to copy, but to inspire. Ahhh! Then, there’s that little
myself. At the same time, the University lost some fac- advertising, web and interactive communication, signage moment when a little sketch, a spark, catches hold of an
ulty and I was able to teach three classes a semester as and way-finding, interior and spacial theme and design, idea and is fanned into a flame. I love to see the out-
an adjunct, as well as start a freelance design business. etc. A short list of clients include: The National Civil come! I take a step back and see something I’m proud
I must say that all these thing culminate in the Rights Museum, Art Museum of the University of of.
fact that I truly love what I do. In this, I feel privileged Memphis, Movie Gallery, Sony Music, Universal Records,
because I may be in the minority here. For me, there is Warner Music, The Florence Symphony Orchestra, WHAT BRINGS ME THE MOST JOY: I get joy from
no better place than the creative exploration design Francis Marion University and others. I have also had both the process and the outcome. The process is a
allows and, in turn, teaching those ideas and skill to the privilege of donating my time and design work to great piece of the puzzle, asking those questions of who,
future designers. several charitable organizations including St Jude what, where, when and why. This is about the journey,
Children’s Research Hospital and the National Civil not the destination. As I mentioned before, I suppose I
JOB TITLE AT FMU: My professional life is a bit dual in Rights Museum. get the most joy from seeing something I created on
the sense that I teach, as well as design on a profession- display – whether it’s on the web, the wall or the page.
al basis. Therefore, every answer comes from several WHAT I ENJOY MOST ABOUT MY WORK AND It may seem insignificant to some, but from time-to-
angles. I was hired in 2006 as an Assistant Professor of TALENT: This answer serves, as I do, a dual purpose. time, I design those little “bonus” stickers you see on a
Visual Communication. I tend to interchange the terms From a teaching standpoint, I hope to inspire my stu- CD package. I still get quite excited when I see them
“Visual Communication” and “Graphic Design.” The dents to higher levels. The field of design is flooded on the cellophane, even though I know they just get
field of Graphic Design is evolving and has grown to with creative and talented people and it’s hard to work ripped off and thrown away. Nevertheless, I know that
encompass many things that are not merely graphic. As in this field. I love seeing my students succeed, whether thousands were printed and thousands were seen and
the definition changed, so has the thing we are defining, it’s in the classroom or in the professional world. hopefully enjoyed by the consumer.
Charles Jeffcoat and his wife, Uschi, live in Florence with their two sons, Charles and Philip. To learn more about his work visit www.charlesjeffcoat.com.
85 5/25/09 9:20 AM Page 1
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it’s raining
MEN the Chef
Ed Kowalski by Ferebe Gasque
C. Wilson Studios
photography by
EDEd Kowalski is somewhat of a Renaissance Man. He was
born and reared in Long Island, New York. After receiving his MS in
Chemistry from the University of Mississippi Medical Center, he
eventually moved to Florence in 1986 to work with Dr. Loren Mason
Grilled Salmon with Herbs
4 – six to eight ounce fresh salmon steaks or fillets (steaks are juicier –
also, wild caught Alaskan salmon is best)
as Director of the Carolina Arthroscopy and Knee Institute. Later, 1 cup fresh orange juice
Ed was employed by Carolinas Hospital System until his retirement
1/4 cup light brown sugar or honey
in 2008. However, his talents are not confined to the medical field.
1/8 cup Kikoman soy sauce
He plays the piano, has a special affection for chocolate labs, and loves
2 Tablespoons fresh chopped garlic
to cook.
2 Tablespoons fresh chopped parsley
According to Ed, cooking has been a lifetime of learning, trial
and error, and experience in all the things he holds dear. He started 4 Tablespoons fresh chopped dill
at his mother’s knee, asking her to show him every little step in her 1 teaspoon sesame oil
cooking processes. He says his mom was a great cook, as was her 1/4 cup chopped green onion
mother. Chef Kowalski furthered his culinary education in France in 1/4 cup olive oil
the early 1960s. He also studied with New Orleans chefs and in
other venues, as well. Mix all ingredients together (except for the salmon) and let stand for
He has owned and operated several restaurants and facilities. thirty minutes at room temperature. Next, add the salmon and let marinate for
He now runs a catering business in the Florence area. He is avail- an additional thirty minutes. After this, the fish may be grilled or baked in the
able for small and large dinner parties and for other gastronomical oven. If you choose to grill, you will get an awesome caramel effect from the
opportunities. Ed Kowalski welcomes your interest in his expertise. orange juice and sugars. If you want to “walk the plank” (fish baked on a soaked
He can be contacted at home in Florence at 843.661.7657. piece of wood to flavor the fish – applewood or mesquite is best), just remem-
Ed is an interesting man with a wide variety of interests. ber to follow the directions and soak the plank over night so it won’t burn in
Talking with him briefly, however, makes it evident that he loves cook- the oven! Also, you can boil down the marinade to syrup and pour a little over
ing. He especially likes cooking with fresh herbs. Herbs, he informs your creation. If baking the fish, preheat your oven to 350° and cook for 8 – 10
eager learners, have been used in the preparation of foods, medicines, minutes (or until the fish flakes with a fork). Of course, the cooking time will
and beauty products for over five thousand years. Whether it is the vary in the oven as well as on the grill, depending on the size of the steaks or
seed, the foliage, or the flowers being used, these wonderful additions fillets.
to the world of food have enhanced the smells, flavors, and tastes for
millennia. This dish is really good served with couscous and a salad. Also, a nice-
When asked to share a recipe, Ed initially had difficulty decid- ly chilled bottle of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc (which is crisp, clean, and
ing which one. However, he said that in spring and summer, people refreshing) puts an elegant and tasty exclamation to the meal.
often are looking for lighter meals. So he chose a delicious recipe
that is appropriate for this time of year. Good cooking and good eating!
Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef.®
87 5/25/09 9:45 AM Page 1
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it’s raining
MEN the Carpenter
James Baker by Theresa B. Rogers
Collin M. Smith
Photography
THIS
This story is about a carpenter’s passion that
has come to life in the form of a wooden trunk. My
father is James Baker of Dillon. He is a retired Chief
decided to build his own from scratch. He began
gathering the poplar wood that acts as the material
base for his latest craft. He traded wooden parts
”
This beautiful wooden trunk is lined with
cedar on the inside and ornately handcrafted with
attractive accented pieces on the top and sides. His
Petty Officer from the U.S. Navy who has done car- with others, collected spare pallets from lumber busi- work is something we are proud of. He has made
pentry work on a part-time basis since his retirement nesses and ordered parts from a location out of trunks for each of his grandchildren. Due to declin-
in 1970. He learned about the carpentry trade dur- state. After many hours of hard work and determi- ing health and arthritis, however, it is difficult for him
ing the twenty-four years he served in the Navy. He nation, his trunk was completed. He gave his master- to work at what he loves the most. With the help of
started acquiring his carpentry skills by hanging out piece to his first grandson. my oldest brother, he is currently building his final
in wood shops that were located on various naval In addition to this accomplishment, he has trunk for his great-granddaughter.
bases where he was stationed. Along with his navy made several trunks for people in the community and This story is not just about a man that has a
friends, he used to build model kit boats, as well as entered a trunk in a woodwork competition for the talent at the age of 78; it’s about a man that I admire
repair real ones. He’s helped his friends remodel var- Senior Ministry Division for the Dillon Church of for his strength, his courage and a man that I am
ious rooms in their homes, particularly kitchens. It God. He won the State Division in woodwork and proud to call Daddy. I am thankful for the love that
was through this type of work that he began to use represented South Carolina in a national competition he has shown me. His support to his family is never-
his own skills, which would help him in his carpentry in 2008. He enjoyed it so much that he began on a ending. His genuine words of wisdom penetrate our
work and in designing his trunk. new project for 2009’s competition, which was held hearts and minds that will last us a lifetime.
He got the idea of building a wooden trunk in Mauldin, South Carolina, in March. His hard work “Daddy, you gave me the confidence to be the
after he purchased what he thought was an antique paid off because he brought the winning trophy home woman I am today. I am proud of you. I love you and I
trunk in Crescent City, Florida. However, when he for this division. Then, he traveled to the national thank you for the legacy of love and compassion that you
brought the trunk home, he found that the wood was competition, which was held in Gatlinburg, have given to each of us.” - Theresa
deteriorating. After he bought the ruined item, he Tennessee, this April.
Theresa B. Rogers is the Food Service Director with Latta Schools. She has been with the district for about ten years. James Baker and his wife,Vivian Carol Oates Baker, live in Dillon.
They have three children, four grandchildren and one great-grandchild. They will be approaching their 50th wedding anniversary in December. James retired from the Navy in November 1970
and was a District Supervisor of nineteen stores for the Fast Fair Convenient Stores in Dillon, Marlboro, Horry County and Myrtle Beach Area. After retiring in 1975 from his position with the
convenient store chains, he began working with his woodwork projects.
89 5/21/09 9:47 AM Page 1
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90 5/25/09 12:34 PM Page 1
it’s raining
MEN
the Inventor
“Shiftshade”
Matt Watford
Collin M. Smith
Photography
AS
I started working twelve-hour shifts in 1996 at I started playing with the rods and fabric and was amazed It’s very gratifying seeing the company grow
Wellman in Darlington. I worked there for fourteen at the results. My idea really worked! At the time, I only from an idea I had, but the real glory goes to my Lord and
months and then transferred with them to Mississippi for had one window in my bedroom, so it only took one pro- Savior, Jesus Christ. As my relationship with God grows,
a plant start-up. I worked two years, straight days, and totype to get the full effect. Everyone was amazed at how I can see Him working through me and ShiftShade. I’m
then accepted another rotating-shift position. It didn’t dark the room was in the middle of the day. You literally not sure what His plans are, but I’m very excited!
take long to remember how ill and short-tempered I could not see your hand in front of your face. Of course,
became on nightshift. The irritability and moodiness I couldn’t wait for my next nightshift. WHAT IS THE SHIFTSHADE: The ShiftShade is simply a
began shortly after starting back on nights. If I hadn’t My problem with sleeping during the day was shade that blocks out all the sunlight from entering
gone from shift work to straight days and back to shift not falling asleep but waking up after a couple of hours through your window.
work, I may not have realized what was causing the and not being able to go back to sleep. The eyelids only
moodiness. I was a completely different person on nights. block out 80% of light; ShiftShade takes care of the rest! PROCESS FOR MANUFACTURING THE SHIFTSHADE:
I realized I needed to find a way to manage shift work a The total daytime darkness really helped. It fooled my All the components that make up a ShiftShade are made
little better. What I needed was complete daytime body into thinking it was night and allowed me to get in the USA. Up until June 2008, I was the manufacturer,
darkness. several hours more sleep per day. shipper and salesman. A friend that had been through a
At the end of 2000, my family I started thinking about selling my similar business start-up advised me that I could not con-
moved back to South Carolina with
Progress Energy. I was still working
twelve-hour rotating shifts. I tried all
the usual things such as putting tin
foil, black plastic and blankets over
my bedroom windows. Nothing
“ NOTHING
WORKED THE
WAY I WANTED...
I KNEW THERE
HAD TO BE A
product. A good friend of mine came up
with the name of ShiftShade.
Afterwards, I went to
attorney/friend who told me the
an
worked the way I wanted. Nothing ing with his idea and later saw his inven- SHIFTSHADE’S GROWTH: At first, 90% of the sales
”
was dark enough. I knew there had to be
BETTER WAY. tion being sold on TV. He then recom- came from eBay and 10% from the website. As the name
a better way. mended a Patent Attorney in Greenville. has gotten out and the website has improved, the per-
My brother gave me a golf net for my During this time, I was constantly playing with centage has changed to the majority of sales coming from
birthday. As I was putting it together, the concept of the design, looking for suppliers, getting a website set up the website. To my surprise, women have been the main
ShiftShade came to me. The rods that were used for the and talking with anyone that might help me. The patent buyers – women that work nights (nurses), women who
golf net were very flexible and I thought there should be attorney told me about SCORE (Counselors to America’s have husbands working nights or who have small children
some way to support something in the window to block Small Business). What a great piece of advice! Hartsville that need to sleep later or take longer naps during the
out the sun using these rods. A design idea popped into has a SCORE Chapter and I met with four of the coun- day.
my head and I went inside and put it on paper. selors who are retired professionals that volunteer their
After sitting on the idea for a couple months, I time to help small businesses get started. (SCORE is a HOW/WHERE TO PURCHASE A SHIFTSHADE:
pulled out the drawing and showed it to a co-worker free service and I highly recommend them, Website www.shiftshade.com; toll-free telephone num-
who encouraged me to move forward with the idea. I www.score.org.) One of the counselors has been my ber, 1-866-690-2538 between the hours of 9 AM and 4
ordered some tent replacement rods and went to a fab- sounding board for the entire process. SCORE, friends PM Monday through Friday; Bigs Meats and More in
ric store and asked for their darkest fabric. After talking and family have all been instrumental in helping me in the McBee, SC (behind McLeod Farms on highway 151); eBay
with the attendant, she introduced me to blackout fabric. development and growth of ShiftShade.
Matt Watford and his wife, Nikki, live in Lamar, SC. Besides ShiftShade, Matt also works full-time as a Control Operator for Progress Energy in Hartsville, SC. Nikki is a
Registered Nurse at McLeod Regional Medical Center. They have three children, Jace (8), Ella (6) and Adyn (21-months) and are members of Cornerstone Baptist Church.
91 5/21/09 9:59 AM Page 1
Florence
The Earring Lady
•Handcrafted in Florence from American
materials, Barbara Mellen’s dichroic glass
Ladies Day every Tuesday! earrings will be treasured by the
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92 5/25/09 12:35 PM Page 1
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MEN
Mike Weatherford
by Linda H. Weatherford
Collin M. Smith
Photography
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it’s raining
MEN
DonnyGerald
REMEMBERING DADDY
by Melia Flowers Berry
“
his daddy was more into “catching” fish than “going fish- close, the father and son grew even what is important in life. “With a
ing.” “If he didn’t get a fish on the first cast, it was time closer when Donny started his WAKE UP IN THE wife and a two-year-old, I know
to go. The fish were just not biting that day.” Bobby own business and decided to MIDDLE OF THE that I must stop and think what’s
Gerald may have been an impatient fisherman, but when remain in Marion. A day didn’t go NIGHT AND THINK important in my life. Work’s not
it came to loving his son and his family, he emptied him- by without Donny seeing his everything. As Daddy got older,
THE WORST AND
self completely. daddy. In fact, Donny can see he realized it, too.”
Bobby Gerald was by all accounts a self-made Bobby’s office from his own office
CALL TO HEAR HIS Though the business of poli-
man. He began working in the car business when he was window. “I was always in and out of VOICE. I MISS HIM tics was sometimes hard on the
sixteen-years-old. Donny remembers his daddy saying his office everyday. I never could start SO MUCH. Gerald family, Donny knew that it was
”
that he worked “eight days a week” and it was that atti- my day without calling to hear his voice or in his father’s blood and he loved it.
tude and work ethic that paved the way for him to later speaking to someone to see if they had seen him Donny summed up his daddy’s thoughts about
purchase a Ford Dealership that would prosper for years yet. I would often wake up in the middle of the night and his obligation to Marion’s residents, “My daddy enjoyed
to come. think the worst and call to hear his voice. I miss him so helping people and getting things done. He was a hands-
Donny grew up idolizing his father and that much,” Donny told me, with a pain that I so easily recog- on mayor on an everyday basis. Though the position was
admiration would eventually lead him to following in his nize having lost my own dear daddy just months ago. part-time, my daddy chose to make it full-time. He would
footsteps. While he worked at his daddy’s dealership dur- With an exuberant dedication to his work and make a stand on a position saying, ‘You are not going to
ing his high school years, Donny never thought he want- the city he ran as Mayor, I assumed there must have been make everyone happy, but you have to do what you think
ed a career in the automotive industry. In fact, he want- times when Mayor Gerald could not be there for his fam- is right.’”
ed to be SLED Agent. However, in 1996, Bobby helped ily and wondered how Donny felt about sharing his daddy Sadly, those closest to Mayor Bobby Gerald
his son get started in the car rental business just down with an entire city. The thing that struck me is that while wonder how much of a role his dedication to the city that
the road from his dealership. In 1998, with his daddy’s he was not able to give his son one-hundred percent of he loved may have played in his failing health over the last
help, Donny opened a used car business which remains his time, he certainly gave him all of his love. Donny knew year. Stress and long hours at work, coupled with dia-
successful today. “I owe everything to him for molding that his daddy loved him unconditionally and that he if betes and a heart condition finally took its toll on the
me into the person I am today,” Donny explains. needed him, nothing would ever keep him from coming Mayor when he suffered a heart attack in mid March just
Growing up, Donny recalls doing television com- to his side. “With all the responsibilities my daddy had, three weeks prior to the mayoral election where he
mercials for Bobby Gerald Ford, Lincoln, Mercury, which with owning and running a car dealership and his dedica- sought re-election for a sixth term.
was a “big deal” to the young son who was eager to do tion to the City of Marion, he was not able to attend all Donny recalls how he felt upon learning his
anything to make his daddy proud. Donny laughs as he of our functions throughout school, but he made up for daddy had been hospitalized, “When my mom called me
remembers how his daddy’s friends would ask him,“What most of them.” that morning, I rushed to the hospital to see him. I knew
do you do to a Chevy?” to hear him say, “Burn them!” Bobby was not much for traveling and did not it was serious and I was so scared. I talked to him the
Along the way, Donny learned many lessons want to leave the city. Donny says his daddy didn’t think night before and he seemed fine. He was telling me about
from Bobby, who made a name for himself as a brilliant the city could operate without him and, furthermore, felt the city party that night and told me some names of peo-
businessman. Donny knew his daddy’s advice was some- “if you can’t get it in Marion, you don’t need it.” ple that wanted yard signs to be put up in their yards for
thing that he could depend on because “there was nothing To prove his point about how much of a the election.” (continued next page.)
94-95 5/26/09 9:26 AM Page 2
it’s raining
MEN the Musician
Mark Jackson by Barrett Mills Jackson
I MET MARK
I met Mark at the University of Georgia when I will also be offering guitar and if the growth continues, he Mark’s favorite thing about music is the ability to
was a freshman. He was a cute senior who happened to will end up creating another music position. span all ages and ability levels. He gets to start children
sit near me in the UGA Symphony Orchestra. From the When we moved back to Florence, he promptly out in orchestra classes and see them go from beginner
back of the viola section, I could see him with his cello rejoined the Symphony and began playing with the to Florence Youth Symphony member to high school
and how easily he laughed with his friends. We became Redmond String Quartet and subbing with the Firenze graduate and some, on to major in music in college. He
friends and eventually started dating the following year. Quartet when they needed a cellist. He was approached also gets to experience the joy of complete strangers on
He was very involved in music at UGA, not only by the music coordinator for the district and is now the their wedding day when our quartet provides the music
as a cellist but as a member of the Redcoat Marching Assistant Conductor for the Youth Symphony. We are for their wedding. Last is the ability of music to encour-
Band and a teacher in the Suzuki Pre-College program. both very active in our church We are both very active in age people to be part of a group and stretch themselves
He was also an officer in Phi Mu Alpha, the music frater- our church, St. Luke Lutheran Church, and Mark was to try something new – like many of his bell choir mem-
nity for men. He graduated with his Music Education somehow convinced to direct the Handbell Choir - bers. Many have little or no musical background but love
Degree seven months after we started dating and began which he has done for the past two years and loves every contributing to the worship service and push themselves
looking for a job. Of all places, he ended up teaching at minute of it! There have even been some Sundays that to learn and become better ringers.
South Florence High School! So, there I was in Athens we played our string instruments and in the same service, Being married to a music man enhances our
and he had moved to my hometown! He made the most he directed the bell choir. He is a DOME (District One’s relationship because we have music to tie us together on
of his first year, even joining the Florence Symphony Musically Exceptional) teacher and leads classes in the so many levels. We have had the opportunity to play for
Orchestra. They were short on bass players that year, so summer camp they hold every year in June. He has also many of our friends’ weddings and contribute to their
he and my younger brother (also a cellist) picked up bass- had numerous students attend honors and all-state special day together. I also have the opportunity to
es and played the season with the Symphony. orchestras. expose our girls to their father in amazing leadership
Luckily for me, he moved back to Georgia to To me, however, the thing that makes him a won- roles that most children don’t get to experience. They
teach the following year and was there until we married derful musician is his love of teaching. He will do almost have seen their father conduct orchestras, the bell choir
in 1998. We both taught in Cobb County as orchestra anything to inspire a child to continue with music. He at church, and have heard him perform with groups and
teachers. He was at a middle school and managed to has loaned instruments, rewritten music, given lessons as a soloist. They see music as a part of their lives, not
triple the size of the program in three years and send sev- and rides home to make sure his children can excel in his something extra that happens every so often. He has,
eral students to Honors Orchestra and All-State class and as musicians. He makes sure they have oppor- and will continue, to nurture their love for music and that
Orchestra. He even performed in the school talent show tunities to play for the community and in different venues, is something that gives us a stronger bond as a family.
with a student. The student played an original composi- as well as opportunities to hear other groups play. His Mark is a wonderful husband, father and musi-
tion on electric guitar and he backed him up on bass gui- extra symphony ticket always goes to one of his students cian. He serves as a musician for the students of
tar, complete with long black wig and sunglasses. and they and their parents repay him with glowing com- Florence, the community of Florence and the members of
After the birth of our first daughter, we moved ments at concerts and wonderful attendance. The par- St. Luke. He is not defined by his job as a music teacher,
back to Florence. Ten years later, he was back teaching at ents and students eagerly support their one fundraising but defines musician by his willingness to go above and
South Florence High School. He teaches in the morning opportunity each year – a bake sale during the lunch peri- beyond to share his love with the rest of the world.
at Southside and the afternoon at South Florence. His od – and raise over a $1000.00 each year. He is even
program has grown and he has even started a guitar cur- helping teach our four-year-old violin. She loves to see
riculum at the high school. Next year, the middle school her daddy try to play her one-sixteenth size violin!
Barrett Mills Jackson and her husband, Mark, live in Florence. They have two daughters, Snowden (19 months) and Ridgely (4).
97 5/21/09 10:12 AM Page 1
843.332.3505
it’s raining
MEN the Single Guy
Sam Mitchell
FAMILY: My family lives in Lexington, Kentucky. My brother,Alex, is 21 and my sis- WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF THE PERFECT DATE? My perfect date would
ter, Sally, is 18. be doing something that we both enjoy. It would be awesome to see my date real-
ly being herself and enjoying the time we’re sharing – something like a concert with
WHERE ARE YOU ORIGINALLY FROM? I was born in Indianapolis, Indiana, a band we both like. That way we would get the time in the car together, maybe din-
and we moved around a bunch when I was growing up. We eventually landed in ner, and then we could go get our faces melted off by some awesome music. I think
Simpsonville, SC, when I was a sophomore in high school. I graduated from Mauldin it’s important to have dates with just the two of you and also with a whole lot of
High School in 2004 and I consider the upstate to be my home. My family didn’t other people. Being around groups of people is a good way to learn things about
move to Lexington until I was already in college. somebody that you’re dating, especially if it’s a first date. A theme park would be a
great perfect date! I love those! It would be so much fun to spend an entire day
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN FLORENCE AND WHAT together figuring out how we’re going to be able to ride every single ride
BROUGHT YOU HERE? I moved to Florence in August of 2008 before the park closes on us.
to work at NewSpring Church as the Worship Leader. I was an
“
Intern at NewSpring Church’s Anderson Campus before I came I AM SINGLE WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT FINDING
to Florence. THE RIGHT PERSON? I think “finding the right person”
– AND A is not something single people should obsess over. It’s such a
WHAT IS YOUR JOB? I lead worship for NewSpring GUY, SO I’M daunting task. I believe that singleness can totally prove to be
Church and I work at our Florence Campus, which meets in a valuable gift for certain seasons of life. I believe that God
Chapman Auditorium of Francis Marion University at 9:30 and
EMBRACING doesn’t want us to spend our time wishing our lives could be
11:15 AM on Sunday mornings. It’s my first-ever full-time job. I lead
our band, schedule musicians and rehearsal times, manage a group of
volunteers on Sundays and sing and lead worship during the services. We
have four staff members at our Florence Campus: Michael Brown, Campus Pastor;
[THE TITLE].
David Hall, Children’s Director; and Jamie Salmon, Ministry Coordinator. Since we are
a small staff, our job responsibilities flow over onto one another and I never really know
” different than what He’s given us at the moment. I think it’s much
more important to be the right person. The question I ask myself is,
“Am I someone a girl would want to date?” The right person might come
along one day, but if I’m not the right person, then she might slip right out of my life
before I even knew she was there.
what I could be doing when I get to work each day. My job is exciting, fulfilling and WHAT ARE THE QUALITIES OF YOUR IDEAL RELATIONSHIP?
engaging. I absolutely love it! It fires me up! I’m so incredibly blessed to be able to Honesty is first and foremost. It absolutely has to be the foundation of a good rela-
do something this awesome for a living and I make every effort not to ever take it tionship. All sorts of small problems can be easily worked out if two people are sim-
for granted. ply honest with each other and also with themselves. I think it’s very important to
be flexible in a relationship. Considering someone else to be more important than
I’M ASSUMING YOU ARE USED TO PEOPLE TRYING TO “SET YOU you are is tough and being flexible can help with this process. There should be a con-
UP.” IS THIS CORRECT AND HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT? stant give-and-take-thing going on, always serving one another out of love. It’s also
Nobody has really tried to set me up in a while and that’s okay with me. Being “set important to me not to lose myself in a relationship. I need to always feel like myself.
up” with a girl has the potential to either be really awesome or an epic failure. I try If I have an epiphany moment in the middle of a relationship with a girl and the only
really hard to make sure that even if there’s no chemistry, we could still be good thought on my mind is, “This is not who I am,” then there’s a big problem. I’m con-
friends. I would probably only allow myself to be “set up” with someone if the per- fident in who I am and I want to be in a relationship with someone who knows me,
son setting me up was an extremely close friend of mine. cares about me, takes my shortcomings into consideration and makes me feel like I
can do the same for them.
98-99 5/25/09 10:42 AM Page 2
WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST THING ABOUT YOU? I have a nerdy streak! I’m
full of useless information and I love to fix things.
ARE YOU CHEAP OR THRIFTY? I’m careful with my finances. What girl wants
to date a broke loser with no job? Whoever the woman for me is, I guarantee she
doesn’t want to live in my parents’ basement with me. So, I take as good a care of my
finances as I can, knowing that being on top of money things can only bring me secu-
rity and peace of mind in life.
it’s raining I suppose many of us think we have the best husband, but I
know – I truly know – that mine is the best! He has so many wonderful qual-
MEN ities, I tell people, “When I put my head down on my pillow at night, I know
that I am loved.”
It all started thirty-five years ago when a good friend of mine asked,
“Why don’t you go out with my good buddy?” I’m not much for blind dates;
but, at the time, I was a cheerleader at FMU and I needed an escort to an ath-
THE BEST HUSBAND: letic banquet. So, reluctantly, I said yes. But, let me tell you; it was not love at
first sight!
Bobby
The entire evening was a big disappointment. To my dismay, we sat at
the table with the former Editor Emeritus of the Florence Morning News and
my date talked to Dr. James F. Rogers the entire evening. Little did I know that
his parents and Dr. Rogers were close friends and their conversation didn’t
include me at all.
On top of that, we had fried chicken and my date devoured all the
Streett
meat off the bird, including the gristle, and sucked out the bone marrow. With
eyes wide open, I have never experienced such a disgusting sight!
Why I ever went out with him again was a surprise to me. However,
the second time we dated, he had this incredible spirit of being so kind and
by Pamela H. Streett
sincere. He never once tried to kiss me when he walked me to the door. I
was very impressed by the way he treated me like a lady.
”
CHICKEN.
Collin M. Smith
Photography
Bobby told me years later that the first time he respect for me, he was extremely smart, he was very talk and keep the communication lines open. We laugh
saw me, he knew he was going to marry me. I, on the religious and he came from such a nice church-going and say, “The secret to our long marriage is that we just
other hand, went through many times of not treating him family. I knew that he would be a fantastic daddy, too. hope we don’t wake up hating each other on the same
with equal respect because he was just too nice. Plus, I He’s been a very hands-on daddy who helped day”.
wasn’t ready for a serious relationship and I think he feed the children, bathe them and, yes, he even changed And, yes, he definitely eats chicken the same
was. The timing was just wrong for me. After several diapers. He coached them in city league baseball. He way. It’s quite humorous now because I know that no
years of dating, I told him that I thought we should see hunted and fished with them, which kept them occupied one enjoys fried chicken as much as he does. So, remem-
other people (with the idea that I could date, but he – especially when they were teenagers. Still today, on ber, if it’s not love at first sight, give it some time. You
couldn’t). One night, I called his apartment and I could Mother’s Day, he gives me a card and thanks me for being never know when you’ll marry the best of the best –
hear girls laughing. I said, “That’s it! Take them home the mother of his children. despite the fried chicken.
now! I’m throwing in the towel!” That was when I knew Of course, we’ve had our share of ups and When I look at our life together, if I had to sum
he was the man for me. downs, but we kept a commitment to each other that we up my life with Bobby in one sentence, it would be: “I
It just hit me! Bobby Streett was the kind of made on our wedding day. Faith in God and lots of bought a lottery ticket and hit the jackpot!”
guy that I wanted to marry. He had such a gentlemanly prayer has kept us together during tough times. We also
Pamela H. Streett is a retired Special Education Teacher from Florence School District One. She spends part of her time in Florence and part in Murrells Inlet,
SC. She and Bobby have two grown sons, Drew (his wife, Brandy) and Chandler. They have two adorable grandchildren, Harrington and Coker.
Bobby is a Realtor with Garden City Realty and a former Realtor with Aiken and Company.
101 5/21/09 11:45 AM Page 1
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it’s raining
MEN
THE SUPER DAD:
“ OUR MARRIAGE IS
SO WONDERFUL
AND I FEEL SO
SECURE IN
Randall
Graham
RANDALL’S LOVE
FOR THE CHILDREN
AND ME.
”
by Jennifer Graham
When I decided to marry Randall to buy groceries so I could sleep in a quiet house. He I am most thankful for Randall’s faith. As a
Graham in 1993, I absolutely considered what type would push a cart full of babies and pull one full of gro- nurse, I work many Saturday nights. That has never
of father I thought he would be. That was definitely part ceries. Someone would always ask, “Are all those stopped him from getting our children up and getting
of what I loved about him so much and why I wanted to yours?” He would joke,“Yeah, the other five are at home them fed and ready and off to church – for the early serv-
spend the rest of my life with him. He is playful and fun- with their Mama.” ice! I do remember the time I was working on a Sunday
loving and laid back. At the same time, however, he is Randall puts aside his own hobbies and interests and I was able to leave work long enough to see the pre-
responsible and reliable. in order to be such an involved dad. Now that our chil- school choir perform a song during “big church.” As
In April 1996, our first precious angel baby was dren are older, he has been able to include them in some soon as I walked in, I noticed Ashley had her dress on
born, Ashley Elizabeth. Katherine Lee followed in April of his favorite things like hunting, fishing and camping backwards. But, hey, they were there!
1997. We experienced two miscarriages and then our out. Nevertheless, he loves doing things with the children Every night ends with a family devotion from the
son, Pearson Cade, was born in February 2000. Summer that they enjoy. He especially likes it when he gets to Bible and Randall leading our family in prayer. Not only
Julia arrived in June 2001 and, finally, Mary Anna was born do things with them that he loved doing when he was a am I thankful for his spiritual leadership but also the
in February 2003. We didn’t expect to have such a large child. After work each day, you’ll find him in the yard other things he is teaching our children – commitment,
family. I think we thought two children, maybe three at playing with the children. From baseball, softball, dance, giving and financial responsibility (tithes and offerings),
the most. Even when we started having children, we did- Taekwondo, art lessons, surfing lessons,VBS, cheerleading, helping others, honesty, healthy living and keeping fit,
n’t know we would end up with five. We love them so beauty pageants, school activities, birthday parties – and respect for others and self – and lots of fun! I’m so proud
much and, to us, five kids do not seem like a lot; it’s just whatever else – he has been there. We have managed to of Randall for raising our children with such a strong
the right number. Occasionally, we toy with having just arrange our schedules so that he or I can be with our Christian faith and for being such a good witness to them
one more; but, I don’t think we will. I think we’re done. children instead of having to use daycare or babysitters. by his actions every day.
Our marriage is so wonderful and I feel
so secure in Randall’s love for the children and
me. Him being there and doing things with us Collin M. Smith
together as a family shows us how much he loves
Photography
us. The fact that he has been so helpful with all
aspects of raising the children has made us a
team. We work together.
Randall is absolutely the most hands-on
dad I know. From changing diapers, bathing and
feeding babies, cleaning up messes, taking care of
sick children, getting puked and pooped on – you
name it – he can handle it. We changed diapers
for nine years straight, twice with two in diapers
at the same time!
I’m a nurse and I usually work two,
twelve-hour shifts, mostly nights. Many times,
especially when the children were very young,
Randall would load all five of them up after I got
home from working all night and go to Wal-Mart
We’ll have
you Stylish
for
Summer!
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104 5/25/09 9:30 AM Page 1
MEN one of the most thoughtful men alive. Most importantly, he is a Christian
man. We have been married six years and we have three children, ages four, two
and ten months (all boys).
All my friends and co-workers tell me how spoiled and how blessed I am
to have Jimmy. I don’t tell him enough just how much he means to me. Life some-
times gets in the way of telling the most important people in our lives how cher-
THE BEST HUSBAND & DAD: ished they are. So, I thought, what better way to let him know than to tell him in
our favorite magazine. Most of the time, he picks up “my” issue of She and ends up
Jimmy
reading it before I do! (He’s going to kill me for telling that.)
I met Jimmy in 2001at a Pampered Chef party that his mother was having.
Well, I didn’t actually meet him that day; I just saw him and thought he was really
cute. We didn’t even talk. I commented to his mother and sister that I thought
he was cute and his mom’s response was, “He’s as sweet as he is cute.”
He was actually only there to move tables for his mom, which really
impressed me. I’ve always heard that guys that treat their mothers with respect will
Trussell
by Laura Trussell
do the same with the women in their lives. This is so true of Jimmy. I always tell
him he is such a “mama’s boy” and I am so glad that he is. (She is wonderful.)
I knew he was “the one” right away. Have you ever just met someone that
you just mesh with? Well, that’s what happened with us. Not only did I fall in love
with him, I fell in love with his family, too. We both come from the same family back-
ground with the same morals and I knew I wanted this with my lifelong partner.
Family is so important to both of us.
I knew that Jimmy would be a great father, but neither of us ever expect-
ed to have children as soon as we did – or as many as we did. We laugh about it
all the time (sometimes, we want to cry!). I got pregnant two months after we were
married and again a year and a half later – and then again a year after that. We still
have a hard time believing it ourselves. We have three children!
This is just a brief overview of my husband’s daily routine. He works full-
time as an insurance agent and is usually the one to pick up all three children from
daycare. If I have to pick them up, he always goes with me to help. He then plays
outside with them while I prepare some sort of meal. He bathes all three children
every night, usually makes bottles for the baby and feeds him dinner. We tag-team
story time and Bible stories and getting the children to bed. He then helps with
any of the household chores such as vacuuming, loading/unloading the dishwasher,
folding clothes and getting things prepared for the next day. The list goes on and on.
He is the parent you see taking the children to school and daycare every
morning just so I can leave early for work. That’s not to mention the lunch he has
packed for me and the coffee he has brewed for me. I know! I know! What do I
do? That’s just it. We are such a team and I don’t think he realizes how vital he is
to our daily ability to thrive as a family. I honestly could not do it without him.
On top of all this, he has outside activities that he participates in, as well.
He is the coach of our four-year-old’s T-ball team. He’s active in our church and he
loves spending time with his family and friends. I’m so honored to have someone
that is such a great role model for our boys. I only hope and pray that they will be
just like their daddy.
Fatherhood has come so naturally to Jimmy. He is the calm in our storms.
He keeps our family grounded and just makes things flow. If I get really flustered,
he calmly says, “Why don’t you just go sit down and I’ll handle it.”
“
One of the things that touches me about Jimmy with our children is he
I KNEW sees the importance of being such a present dad. He is the dad that wants us all to
eat together at the dinner table. He wants us all to be outside playing together and
HE WAS all of us to lay in bed together. Jimmy says that it’s very important that our chil-
“THE ONE” dren grow up in a Christian home and this is what I adore most about him. He is
a dad that reads Bible stories and prays with his children.
RIGHT Jimmy is my best friend. He’s my rock. Of course, we have struggles and
we have highs and lows, but I cannot think of a better man to share all these things
AWAY. with than my husband, Jimmy Trussell. I’m so lucky – and, yes, I know it! When our
” children are all grown up, I want them to know that their daddy has been the best
husband anyone could ask for. He treats me with such respect and we have fun
together, even when we’re up to our eyeballs in stress. He is an encourager and
our provider.
I won’t have to tell our boys anything about being a wonderful father; they
already know because Jimmy shows them each and every day what it’s like to be a
great daddy. Even at their young ages, they know they have a great man as their
father. It’s evident by their giggles and smiles.
! hartsvillegoodliving.com
Facebook-Our Hartsville
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readers love
Hartsville
Hartsville Memorial Museum • 222 North Fifth St • Mon. - Fri. 10am - 5pm,
Sat. 10am - 2pm • Free Admission
Coker Farms National Historic Landmark • 1257 S Fourth Street (just before
entrance to Super WalMart) • 9am - 6pm daily • Free Admission
Hardware • Tempur-Pedic Mattresses • Blinds Byerly Park on 700 Russell Rd is a huge sports complex with free tennis courts,
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• Shutters • Stainless Steel Sinks • And More! fields.
Cinema Twin movie theater... $2 movies! Often first run- call (843) 332-9481
Kathy Boyd for showtimes
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• 108 E. Carolina Ave
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Shop on the tree lined streets & take a break at any of the stores & restaurants.
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106 5/25/09 12:10 PM Page 1
it’s raining
MEN Steve and I met at Florence Little Theatre around the first
of October of 1977 during their production of the musical,
“Shenandoah.” The first time I saw him, he was dancing on stage. I
don’t remember a particular moment that I knew he was the one, but
THE BEST HUSBAND: it was about a month after we met. All I can say is, I just knew. We
were married in my hometown, Williamsburg,Virginia, on July 8, 1978.
SteveMace
(Steve said that would be an easy date to remember – 7-8-78.)
My life with Steve has been full – full of joy and, of course,
challenges. Nevertheless, we have an underlying security and strength
in knowing that not only our love, but our like for each other is unfailing.
When I saw the call in a previous issue for “best husbands” I
knew I had to tell you about Steve. Thus, my acronym for :
“ WE HAVE AN
UNDERLYING
SECURITY AND
STRENGTH IN
called the person living in my old apartment (where he proposed) and got
them to leave their home for the evening so that he could surprise me with
an evening of reminiscing. Another time, he read an article that suggested
writing messages on the bathroom mirror with antifreeze (which we found
out does not come off). Now (and I guess forever), when the mirror fogs
KNOWING up, you can still see the words, “Steve loves Shirley.”
THAT NOT Understands that, even though we could use the income, I am much happier
ONLY OUR (and easier to live with) if I only work outside the home two days a week
”
some kind of “guy” adventure every Saturday so that I could have a few
hours of “me” time.
Awards – Starting with our first anniversary, he has presented me with a
large plaque, which is engraved, “The Stephen P. Mace Annual Wife of the
Year Award, presented every July eighth to the most wonderful wife in the
world.” So far, my name is engraved on 30 of the 50 plates (although there
have definitely been some years when I did not deserve to win).
Never belittles me but always builds me up in public and in private
Date nights have been a priority every week since our boys were old enough
to understand the words,“Don’t come downstairs unless somebody needs
to go to the emergency room!” He cherishes these romantic candlelight
evenings as much as I do.
Shirley and Steve Mace live in Marion. They have two sons,Thad and Nathan.
Shirley is a Speech-Language Pathologist with McLeod Medical Center Dillon.
Steve is a Farm Loan Officer with the USDA Farm Service Agency in Florence.
photo by Jessica Moore
107 5/21/09 4:08 PM Page 1
it’s raining
MEN
THE SWEETEST SON-IN-LAW:
Brian
Hyder
by Darlene Bateman
“
Mandy left the room, Brian
Word, you truly are “one flesh.” When my ex-husband
asked me in a whisper if he
I COULD TELL
left us, I felt as though half of me had been traumatically
amputated. It was a jagged wound that left an ugly scar. could come over the fol- HE DEFINITELY
I prayed that if it was God’s will for Mandy to marry, He lowing Thursday night to WA S A
talk to me while Mandy
would send her the one He chose for her and in His per- CHRISTIAN Collin M. Smith Photography
was working. I knew what
”
fect timing.
A mutual friend of Brian and Mandy’s introduced he wanted. This young GENTLEMAN...
them. They talked on the phone several times before Christian gentleman, who I, too, next year, they dated and set their wedding date for
their first date on April 21, 2006. When Brian came to had grown to love, was going to ask April 26, 2008.
pick Mandy up that night, I answered the door. A very for my permission and blessing to marry my daughter. I don’t know how many times Brian and Mandy
pleasant, courteous young man introduced himself. I That night came and an obviously-nervous Brian sat on spent a day with me, taking me to places I wanted to go
could tell he was a little apprehensive and that was my couch. This sweet, respectful young man was han- that most men don’t – like shopping. Not only was Brian
understandable. I knew right away in my heart that Brian dling this the way God would have him handle it and I was a willing chauffeur, he actually picked out clothes for
was the one God had chosen. Nonetheless, I still touched deeply. He told me that he did not want Mandy Mandy and gave me his input and opinion on my mother-
thought, “Man, if you hurt my daughter . . . .” to know of our little appointment because he wanted the of-the-bride dress. How many men (especially young
Mandy told me that Brian was a Christian and an time and circumstances of his proposal to be a surprise. men) would do that? Spend the day with his future moth-
active member of Cornerstone Baptist Church (two He also did not want to deprive Mandy of the joy and er-in-law? Most men would cringe at the thought.
pluses – saved and Baptist). Yet, that cynicism was there, thrill of telling her family. Their wedding day came and it was tailor-made
rearing its ugly head. Brian would have to prove to me The first thing I did was ask him if he minded for them and perfect in every way. Brian planned the
that he didn’t just “talk it”; I’d have to see him “walk it.” sharing his testimony. It has been my experience that honeymoon destination – St. Lucia – and kept it a secret.
Too many people profess what they do not possess. It when you ask someone to do that and they are offended, He wanted to surprise Mandy. For their first anniversary,
didn’t take long for me to see that Brian Hyder was all he they don’t have a testimony to share. Without hesitation, he also planned a weekend for them and he didn’t tell
claimed to be. He treated Mandy – and me – with he gladly shared with me how he was saved. The moth- anyone where he was taking his bride.
respect. I could tell he had been raised in a Christian er in me, of course, had a few questions for him and a I’m so happy for them and so thankful to God
home and he definitely was a Christian gentleman (and mini sermon from Ephesians 5. After our talk, I assured for bringing them together. I honestly believe that Brian
there are very few of those). him I would not tell Mandy about our meeting and I loves Mandy as Christ loved the church and gave Himself
Over time, marriage became the topic of con- hugged him. for it. I am very blessed. Brian is not only the man in
versation. A sense of panic struck my heart. “I’m going I thought to myself, “If we could clone you and Mandy’s life, he is also the man in mine. I love him as the
to lose my only child!” I thought. age you about twenty years, I might just get married son I never had.
I often told Mandy that if she ever found a man again.” Cynical, jaded me actually talked about marriage with I’ve learned that you cannot shield your chil-
who could love her like I do, she could marry him. Of my name in the sentence. Through Brian, God had begun a dren’s hearts, but you can raise them with prayer and ask
course, in my mind, I’m thinking, “That ain’t gonna hap- miracle by melting my heart and transforming my attitude. God to direct their lives. God worked through Brian
pen!” It soon became obvious that Brian did love her just In a very romantic setting in Charleston about a (and still is) in miraculous ways. You can see from my
as deeply but in a different way. All this time, his charac- month later, Brian asked Mandy to be his wife. She story that I had no reason to fear losing my daughter; I
ter never changed and his lifestyle fleshed out what he called me on her cell phone and told me. Through the gained the sweetest son-in-law alive.
Originally from Dillon, Darlene Bateman lives in Florence and has since 1976. She has worked as a Registered Nurse and a Paralegal. As a member of Florence Baptist Temple, where she sings
in the choir, she loves to write and has co-written a Southern gospel song. Her daughter and son-in-law, Mandy and Brian live in Florence.
109 5/21/09 10:37 AM Page 1
it’s raining
MEN I met Walt Hyman in November 2004. I was a
divorced, single mom with two girls, ages three and seven. I was also in
nursing school. I fell in love with Walt in a very short time because of
his kind and gentle spirit, his love for the Lord and his ability to love
THE BEST DAD: with his whole heart. We were married on November 5, 2005. My story
has a little more history to understand how great this man is.
Walt
Me ex-husband (the girls’ biological father) didn’t have a very
involved relationship with them. Walt took on being their daddy right
from the start. While we were still dating, he would come to my house
at 5 AM so that I could go to clinicals. He would get the girls up, feed
them breakfast, get them ready and take them to school. He had never
been married nor had children, so this was all new to him. Nonetheless,
Hyman
by Winona Hyman
he did it without complaints.
Walt said he fell in love with all three of us. At our wedding, he
said the most wonderful vows to me and then got on one knee and said
vows to each of the girls and gave them both a heart necklace that read,
“I love you.” The girls’ biological father relinquished his rights to them.
Walt said they were his girls, so he adopted them. I am so blessed that
he has loved Hannah and Jenna like he has been with them since birth.
He treats them as his because in his eyes, they are. He wanted to adopt
“
them so that there was no doubt that he was their father.
HE LOVES US We recently had a baby boy. During my pregnancy, he was
UNCONDITIONALLY amazing. He took all the mood swings, rubbed my feet, listened to my
complaints and still loved me and was willing to do anything I asked. He
AND SUPPORTS even went to three different restaurants to get the three things I craved.
US NO MATTER The first night home from the hospital, he stayed up all night with the
WHAT. baby and didn’t sleep. He wanted to let me rest and was afraid he might
Winona and Walt Hyman live in Pamplico. They have two daughters, Hannah (11)
and Jenna (8), and a son, Kolby (4 months). Winona is Dr. Kelly Rainwater’s Nurse
at Florence OB/GYN. Walt works for Rental Uniform.
111 5/21/09 10:40 AM Page 1
Give me the
theme & I'll
take care of the
rest of your
dreams.
Specializing In:
•Coordinating, planning, and
directing weddings & receptions.
•Banquets, special events
•Dinner, anniversary, and
birthday parties
•Health fairs/ fund raising events
•Corporate events
it’s raining
MEN
MAKEOVER MY MAN!
THE LAWYER TURNED ROCKER:
PhillipAtkinson
THE CALL FOR HELP:
Dear She,
My name is Abby and I am seven-years-old. My mommy said that you are doing makeovers on men and I wanted you to
choose my daddy for one. He is the best daddy in the world and I love him.
His name is Philip and he is a lawyer, so he wears a suit to work every day and even to church on Sundays. What most peo-
ple don’t know is that he secretly wants to be a rock star. He plays guitar and even used to play with a band. He has friends
who really are rock stars out in California and I think it would be fun to make my daddy look like one, too.
AFTER Do you think you could help?
THE MAKEOVER:
Philip came to us at the SALON, growing out from a bad haircut. We talked and I realized what a fun,
energetic personality he has, so we decided to do something that he could wear conservatively during
the day but have fun with at night. A faux-hawk seemed the perfect choice. We used Redken Velvet
Gelatine to blow his hair dry, which gave texture and fullness. Once dry, we pieced it out with Pureology
Texture Twist. Now, we feel like his haircut reflects his true personality.
THE CLOTHES:
BEFORE HughesPage
THE CLOTHES:
Nautica Suit
Shoes by Allen Edmonds
Brown Belt by Trafalgar
Tie by Butler’s
THE CALL FOR HELP:
Dear She,
My son,Hughes, has always had great style and a way to make any outfit look good. Lately, how-
ever, he seems to be working all the time and spending less time dressing up. His job involves
cutting grass and digging in dirt, which leaves him pretty messy at the end of the day.
Recently, he graduated from Francis Marion University and I want to do something special for
him. I want him to feel confident in his appearance for future job interviews or even just attend-
ing a wedding.
AFTER
Thank you for considering Hughes for a makeover,
Charlotte Battle
THE MAKEOVER:
As soon as Hughes walked in the door, we could tell he was really outgoing and had a great per- Hughes Page lives in
Florence. He graduated
sonality. He was willing to do anything that would work well with work and play. He had very
from Francis Marion with a
thick hair, so we razored it heavily. After the cut, we used Redken Rewind and Get Groomed
degree in Biology and is
to give his hair separation and a little bit of volume. These products also help with movement working with Gardenearth.
and to give more control for thick hair. This style haircut looks great on Hughes and gives him
that clean-cut look he desired.
Patsy Clemmons, Owner/Stylist - FIRST IMPRESSIONS, 1621 2ND LOOP ROAD, FLORENCE
“It’s always entertaining to hang out with the staff at First Impressions. Patsy did an awesome
job with my hair. She knows what hairstyles are in and helped clean up my rough edges. I was
(as always) satisfied with my haircut at First Impressions.
Spencer at Butler’s Fine Men’s Clothing couldn’t have been easier to work with. He found a
suit that can be worn almost anywhere and at any time. I wanted something that looked nice
when it’s necessary to look nice for something; the blue suit works perfectly. I also wanted Photography by
something that I would look sharp in when I get to San Francisco.” - Hughes Page C. Wilson Studios
129- 5/21/09 3:59 PM Page 1
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Register now! Available June, July, & August!
Space is limited, call for more
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•Advanced Ballet Workshop June 15-19 • August 4-6
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McGowan 1001 South Cashua Dr. • Florence 843.665.0606
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115 5/21/09 10:46 AM Page 1
n
"A father is always making his baby into a little woman.
And when she is a woman he turns her back again."
n
- Enid Bagnold
117 5/21/09 10:52 AM Page 1
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T
The economic climate that we are living in is a whole new animal. The stock another job. Not only is there an issue of less money, now they feel personally respon-
market is doing things that it hasn’t done in ten or more years and there are new issues sible and it may affect their self-esteem when they cannot provide for their family. This
such as variable sub-prime rate mortgages and scams we wish we had not heard about. can be the case, even when the woman is working and making a good salary. You can
All these things have affected the economy and it trickles down to businesses in our encourage your husband and sit down with him and help him make a list of job options.
town that affect us. It has affected our neighbors, relatives and many of the people that He can write down his strengths and weaknesses as you help him identify other areas
we know. Some marriages are very strained right now because of job losses or poten- in which to seek employment. You can help him organize phone numbers, job listings,
tial job losses. Maybe the company that your husband is working for has not gone under etc., and even help him if he needs to work on his resume. All these behaviors are
or declared bankruptcy, but the management is having meetings and telling the employ- encouraging and can be very helpful, especially if your husband has become discouraged.
ees that things are not looking good and they may have to make cuts. Sometimes, a neg- You, as a wife or significant other, can be the objective listener and helper
ative possibility hanging over your head is worse in some ways than the ax falling and because it does directly affect you, but you are not the one it is happening to personal-
you know you are going to lose your job. ly. If you find that you are too upset to be objective, then you may need to seek out
Some men define themselves by the work they do and the amount of money other help such as a job service agency or even a counselor if there is a lot of conflict
they make. They may feel very occurring so that you can help get your husband on the right track to look for a job.
down and discouraged Some men may not want any help and then you have to use wisdom in your
when they lose their interactions with them. Older men may possibly have a harder time because they may
job and cannot find have been in the same job and career field for years and have not looked for a job in
twenty years. They also may find that they are discriminated against because of
their age. This is not acceptable, but it does occur in the job market.
A lady I know told me both of her neighbors, who were mar-
ried to each other, lost their jobs at the same time and they have two
children. I am certain this was a stressful situation. In this kind of
situation, the individuals would have to call on their inner
resources and contact their family and friends for help. Also, this
would be a time to pray and ask God to intervene. One Bible
promise says that God shall supply all of our needs according to
His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
After praying this prayer, then I believe you have to go out
and take action. Encourage your husband to knock on doors
and call for interviews and see what opens up for him.
Continue to try and remind him to have a positive attitude.
Know that God loves you and your family and wants what is
best for you. We tend to forget this in the middle of adversity.
We are living in some very challenging times and none of this
stuff is easy. Do the very best you can and support your hus-
band if he loses his job and help him in every way you can until
he finds another job. If you can’t be positive and support him
because of any reason, then help him get the knowledge and
contacts that he needs to move forward on his own.
Ferebe Gasque
Independent Consultant
900 East Cheves St. • Florence, SC 29506 Phone: 843-673-0810
843-673-7122 singingchef@earthlink.net
www.pamperedchef.biz/singingchef
120-121 5/26/09 2:24 PM Page 1
finding HIM
I have long been intrigued by who He is. Knowing Him is kinda like dreaming
about your future husband. He’s perfect and charming and attractive and chivalrous. He’s
the consummate Gentleman, and He knows how to woo.
by Cookie Cawthon
I bought what He was selling. First, you drink the Kool-Aid then you get the goods: His affec-
tion, His protection, His forgiveness, etc... I bought it, but it didn't all jive with me. I remem-
ber sitting in a youth retreat in Garden City, and we were anonymously turning in questions
But, once upon a time, there was me. And I didn’t think those warm, fuzzies about God. As to our youth pastor to discuss as a group. My question was - Why do bad things happen to
a little girl I experienced some deep hurt and some super negative church experiences at good people? I was deeply disturbed by who I thought God might be. In my brain He was
the hands of some harsh and cold church people. As a little girl, I felt forgotten by God. punitive and selfish and partial and powerful, and to me that was a pretty scary combina-
Overlooked. Neglected. Abandoned by Him. I was a little person with no use for God, tion. His love was manifest when He withheld punishment that I deserved, which is true but
and you don’t undo that very easily… it isn't the only manifestation of His love. I had a super-limited understanding of God's char-
And so it was as a thirteen year-old that I first heard that God loved me at acter and that tripped me up for years.
Centrifuge youth camp at North Greenville College. I went for the boys. I went because of There was an absolute disconnect between what I wrestled with in my spirit and
my friends. I went for a week away from home, but I left having made a new Acquaintance in my heart about God and how I lived. In fact, I honestly remember praying for forgiveness
(and snagged a new boyfriend from Dothan, Alabama). in advance of going out to drink way too much (by the way I do now understand that isn't
But the ten years after that were rocky for me and Him. In fact, I am the picture how forgiveness works). I showed my fanny for a good eight years before college gradua-
in the Illustrated Bible for Matthew 13:5-6. In my case, the Seed fell on the rocky places; "it tion saved me from myself by removing me from the environment that promoted my
sprang up quickly because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were destructive behaviors.
scorched, and they withered because they had no root." My claim to Christ was not root- Chris - who was not a believer at the time - suggested that we (as a new couple)
ed in faith.There was a lot of heart stuff going on (emotions) and a lot of head stuff going start attending church regularly because that's what respectable people did; it was a great
on (I began to attend discipleship classes), but there was no root. So when life as a teen and way to meet people, and it was the right way to start a work week. God took full advan-
a college student got wild, so did I. I had enough of Jesus to keep me out of hell, but that tage of having us for an hour a week and began to till the soil of our hearts for future plant-
was absolutely it... ing; give that Fella an inch and He'll take a mile every time.
And so knowing that Jesus loved me was cute and all, like the song, but that in and We added Sunday School to our repertoire when we moved to Flotown, and God
of itself meant very little in the day-to-day living of my life.The knowledge of it was kinda just kept drawing us in ever so slightly and slowly - almost imperceptibly.And we were will-
like applying a band-aid to an amputation; it didn't do much to heal the ing to be drawn. In large part because God had surrounded us by people who were
gash that was in my soul. I did believe that He loved me, but I like us but who loved Him.They were willing to say, "I need Jesus because I
wondered why He had not loved me before I was thir- totally screw it up on my own!" and we could identify with that. Chris made
teen. My adolescent under- a new Acquaintance, and we became inchworms for Christ - inching closer
standing deduced that and closer to Him, in very small increments, mind you.
He started loving I quit teaching after Carson was born and attended my first women's
me because Bible study, after all what in the world was I going to do all day? I was born
to be a student; I love to be a student. It's why I became a teacher (because
no one would pay me to be a forever student, and teaching was as
close as I could get. I still got to be in the classroom, smell books,
and use newly sharpened pencils). So, I took seriously my
role as a Bible student. If the teacher challenged us to pray in
the middle of the night in a headstand (which she did not),
that's what I did. I totally think God was humored by my
desire to obey and please.
It was in those Beth Moore Bible studies that she gave
me permission to be honest with God; she began to press on
my gash and whispered to my soul that He was big enough
to handle it. And the truth bubbled to the surface. I
was angry with God. I was a twenty-eight year-old
mom who was angry. With. God. So I put on my
big girl panties, and gritted my teeth, and pointed
my finger in the air, and began asking the hard
questions – Where were you when I was a little
girl? Why didn’t I enjoy your protection? How
can I trust you? What kind of God overlooks a
precious little girl?
And it was there - in that place of broken-
ness - that the fullness of our relationship began.
It was as if He said in perfect tenderness,"Thank you
for asking; I've been wanting to talk to you about this
for a long time." (continued)
120-121 5/26/09 2:24 PM Page 2
...continued
This conversation occurred in the midst of a study entitled Believing God, and
The Perfect Gift For Dad
part of the homework was to create a timeline of my life. By answering a host of probing .....the very best in eye glasse s and contact lens
questions, I was to revisit every stage of my life and document how God had been pres-
ent all along. I fully expected to find no evidence of Him in my early years, but one of the
www.stokeseye.com
dearest things He has ever done for me was allow me to literally see His fingerprints all
over my childhood - mostly in the amazing people He strategically placed around me. He
gave me favor with some of the kindest people I have ever encountered, and He loved me
through them since I was not in a healthy church situation nor was I in the company of
compassionate believers that much at all.The older couple who kept me while my mom
worked (sometimes until 9:30 at night); I was their favorite. The family who owned the
rental house my mom and I lived in was so good to us. My third grade teacher; I was her
pet.Two older ladies who cared for me in Marion. My Nana and Poppa (my new grand-
parents). He used their arms to hug me; their hearts to love me; their voices to affirm me.
He gave me two parents who thought I hung the moon; in retrospect I am allowed to see
that there was no shortage of love and there was no absence of God.
With regards to the pain of those years; He assured me that He was as angry
and as saddened as I was. He reminded me of His justice. He had not chosen that pain for
me, but He had allowed it for this very day - that I might share His faithfulness in the face
of life's ugliness. Through my study of His Word, He promised to heal me, to make me
healthy, and to use it all for my good and His purposes. If I would allow Him to...
I have.
Cookie Cawthon loves Jesus with all her heart and wants you to too; she
can be contacted at secawthon@yahoo.com.
...continued
This conversation occurred in the midst of a study entitled Believing God, and
The Perfect Gift For Dad
part of the homework was to create a timeline of my life. By answering a host of probing .....the very best in eye glasse s and contact lens
questions, I was to revisit every stage of my life and document how God had been pres-
ent all along. I fully expected to find no evidence of Him in my early years, but one of the
www.stokeseye.com
dearest things He has ever done for me was allow me to literally see His fingerprints all
over my childhood - mostly in the amazing people He strategically placed around me. He
gave me favor with some of the kindest people I have ever encountered, and He loved me
through them since I was not in a healthy church situation nor was I in the company of
compassionate believers that much at all.The older couple who kept me while my mom
worked (sometimes until 9:30 at night); I was their favorite. The family who owned the
rental house my mom and I lived in was so good to us. My third grade teacher; I was her
pet.Two older ladies who cared for me in Marion. My Nana and Poppa (my new grand-
parents). He used their arms to hug me; their hearts to love me; their voices to affirm me.
He gave me two parents who thought I hung the moon; in retrospect I am allowed to see
that there was no shortage of love and there was no absence of God.
With regards to the pain of those years; He assured me that He was as angry
and as saddened as I was. He reminded me of His justice. He had not chosen that pain for
me, but He had allowed it for this very day - that I might share His faithfulness in the face
of life's ugliness. Through my study of His Word, He promised to heal me, to make me
healthy, and to use it all for my good and His purposes. If I would allow Him to...
I have.
Cookie Cawthon loves Jesus with all her heart and wants you to too; she
can be contacted at secawthon@yahoo.com.
Be in She
Coming in August 2009
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE...
YOUR HEALTH,
YOUR HOME,
YOUR WORK,
YOUR MONEY, HONEY!
Spa de Vie
Ticket Prices
Group Discounts
6 Box Seats
$
$
5 General Admission & Birthday Party
$
4 Youth (under 10) Senior (60+) Plans Available!
$
3 Military Discount with ID
Salon and Spa
RAINBOW SQUARE •1800 W. PALMETTO STREET FLORENCE • "RED is the Answer to Your Economic Blues"
843.669.4333 • www.spadevie.net www. F L O R E N C E R E D W O L V E S .com
AMAZING!
Sheis
looking for
the Pee Dee’s
most Amazing Women - To nominate an
at home, at work Amazing Woman,
send a detailed email,
and in the along with a day and evening
phone number,
community! to editor@shemagazine.com.
125 5/22/09 2:05 PM Page 1
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PLASTIC AND
RECONSTRUCTIVE
SURGERY OF THE
HEAD & NECK
Mary Beth Lewis, MD
Florence Radiological Associates 843-777-8893
126 5/26/09 3:29 PM Page 1
“At times, it would be beneficial to have increased muscle strength. This “Men never remember anything impor tant.
would help when we need to do things that our spouses say ‘Okay’ to Sometimes, I’d like to be the one who forgets.”
doing, but they really mean, ‘I'll do it later.’ ”
“I think the way men are able to repress their emotions would be “I would like to be able to roll out of bed and
beneficial. Most men can put up an emotional wall; I would love to put on a baseball cap.”
be able to do that. I know men have some of the same problems or
feelings as women, but they are capable of not always showing them.”
127 5/25/09 9:59 AM Page 1
Be in She
Coming in September 2009
The Annual Style & Fashion Issue
hoe!
The nge able S
Original In terc ha
First row left to right: Nancy Vivian, Tracey Campbell, Mary Allred, Cathy Stokes, Jacqueline Tonsor
Second row left to right: Melody McCutcheon, Heather Matthews, Beverly Sandifer, Robin Lewis, Carnella Hickson, Barbara Newby
McLeod Health
www.McLeodHealth.org
130 5/25/09 11:02 AM Page 1
Special Events,
GEORGETOWN
“Over the past couple of years, we have had quite a few of our advertisers inquire about paying their accounts
via credit card. I knew this was something She Magazine needed to do for our clients, but after inquiring with a few com-
panies, I became overwhelmed by all the options and neglected making a decision. Richard Marsh sat
down with me and explained the options available and helped me decide on a credit card system that
best suited our business. It was obvious that he cared about my business and wanted to make the
process easy.
Since then, many of our advertisers have taken advantage of the convenience of pay-
ing with a credit card. It has been a very positive move for my business and I am happy to
recommend Richard Marsh and Atlantic Merchant Services.”
- Melia Berry, Editor & Publisher, She Magazine
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who’s
that
girl?
Future Plans and Dreams:
I’ll be attending Winthrop University in Rock Hill, SC. I hope to get a Degree in
Family: Mommie International Business Chinese so that I’ll be able to market and advertise
(Patricia), Daddy (Robert), American products in China. While attending Winthrop, I’m going to be running
Brother (Galand), and Sisters cross-country and track. My dream is to be a champion in the NCAA one day.
(Lael, Katherine and Macie)
My Friends: As an Army
brat, I’ve developed friends and What Makes Me Smile:
relationships throughout the Finishing a race with a personal
world. All of them are the great- record and seeing all my teammates,
est. They love to be crazy, have friends and family around me cheer-
fun and not worry about what ing for me as loud as they can.
Favorite Movie:
people think.
A Cinderella Story
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Glossy Page 138 5/19/09 3:31 PM Page 1
Glossy Page 139 5/19/09 3:28 PM Page 1
Don’t Suffer
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PAIN MANAGEMENT
IS OUR SPECIALTY.
New
Location Eastern Carolina Medicine
3124 S. Cashua Drive • Florence, SC • 843.665.2600
3/10 of Mile past Celebration Blvd.