Documentos de Académico
Documentos de Profesional
Documentos de Cultura
Or when your application for inclusion in that sports team was rejected? Or more recently, when that job application didnt work out? Even more recently, when you felt rejection in your relationship as your last girlfriend or boyfriend dumped you? Weve all been there. Rejection has been, and will be, as normal a part of your (or anyones) life as your daily mail. Still, it hurts. Even though weve experienced it a hun dred times, each rejection is a new wound. Rejection hurts and its real.
What is rejection?
Rejection (in the context of a relationship social or romantic) basically means exclusion from a group, an interaction, information, communication or emotional intimacy. When someone deliberately excludes you from any of these, your brain tells you that youre experiencing rejection. The psychological term for this type of rejection is Social Rejection. Does rejection hurt? We all know it does it feels lousy, especially in the context of a romantic relationship. Should it hurt? Many self-help gurus and personal development books will tell you that it shouldnt, using one or more of the following myths.
Myth #1. Happiness is a choice, not an outcome. You can choose to be happy irrespective of external circumstances. Myth #2. You dont need anyones approval in order to feel happy. The only person whose approval you need is your own. Myth #3. If youre not happy alone, youll never be happy in a relationship.
Truth is, that each of these has been proven as scientifically untenable through psychological research. According to Prof. C. Nathan DeWall, PhD, of the University of Kentucky, the need to belong, or the need to have strong and fulfilling relationships is as fundamental to human nature as is the need for food and water. Research establishes that its not only natural to experience severe mental agony as a result of rejection, but its also as real as physical pain.
1.
Be conscious of differences
Each person in this world has a different reality. In any given situation, two people can never think or react in (exactly) the same way.
No one else sees the same world as you do. Hence its not only possible, but in fact likely, that people will behave differently from how you expect them to behave (in other words, how you wouldve behaved if you were them) in a certain situation. This expectation-reality gap often gives rise to feelings of rejection and hurt in people. The first step to avoid unwarranted feelings of rejection is to acknowledge this difference.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Again, Im not here to tell you that you can avoid feeling hurt by feeding yourself some distorted version of reality (in oth er words, positive self-talk). Id only like to draw your attention to the fact that often you (and I, and most eo ple) interpret a situation as a rejection (your exclusion from something) when it is not. Im talking about the common human tendency of over -personalizing negative outcomes. Going back to the earlier example, its important that you recognize that any r ejection in general is largely unrelated to whether you are good enough for something (or someone) or not. It only means what youve got to offer, and what is needed by someone (or something) are not the same. Look at it as the lid of Bottle 1 not fitting Bottle 2, simply because its not made for that purpose, rather than for not being big enough, or small enough.
6.
7.
Remember, loving your partner and being unable to function without their emotional support are not the same thing at all. The first is healthy, while the second is not. In fact once youve been able to overcome your emotional needy -ness, your relationship will improve greatly as your partner finds fresh reasons to fall back in love with the new you.