CONTENTS

The Wabi Sabi Of Love Letters 13 How It All Began 15 The Blossoming of Young Love 23 Defying Geography 25 A TIMELESS LOVE 51 With This (Invisible) Ring, I Thee Wed 61 Wabi Sabi Tips for Love Letter Writing 64 Treasuring Time 69 Forever in Bloom 85

A private collection

Thats the card Brian gave me on June 22, 2008 for our 10th wedding anniversary.

Heres the one I gave him that same year:

Here we are, toasting to our first 10 years as man and wife!

Three years later, I gave him this one:

Loving every moment together13 years and counting!

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The Wabi Sabi of Love Letters

Well beyond anniversary cards, from the beginning, love letters, be they greeting cards, emails, longhand letters, or notes, have played an important part in our romance, our love, and our forever growing relationship and marriage. My hope, with this eBook, is to give you

insights into how weve used love letters to deepen and enhance our relationship, but also to give you the tools to use love letters to make your relationship as wabi sabi as it can be.

Greeting card, courtesy of Persimmon Press, persimmoncards.com

How It All Began . . .

That love letters have played such an important role in mine and Brians romance makes even more sense when you hear the story of how we met.

It was a Friday morning, in

fact, and I had just gotten off a plane from San Diego, my home, to Portland, OR, where Brian then lived. It was both love at first sight, and love at first knowing. While we had never physically met before, the moment we laid eyes on each other, we felt a deep and abiding connection that neither of us could ignore. It would take just two months to close those 1,000 miles between us. However agonizing that distance seemed to us at the time, it inspired us to exchange
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hundreds of emails, cards and letters that we have kept safe and sound for all these years. Most importantly, perhaps, those two months we spent together (in our hearts and souls) but apart (in our geography), instilled in us both an ongoing desire to continue expressing our love, gratitude and happiness to each other, in writing, through love letters. Exchanging love letters, in fact, has become a sacred practice for us over the years. The letters in this book, along with the many

others not in this book, have given us a timeless way to celebrate the mystical, magical, warmly loving wabi sabi-ness of our own relationship, and to reap the rewards of the love that continues to grow and blossom each and every year. So you can get a sense of how it all began, I wanted to share the story of Brians and my first meeting, as excerpted from my book, The Soulmate Secret: On June 22. 1997 I went to see Amma, the hugging saint from India. I had heard about her years earlier from Deepak Chopra, who said to me,

Amma is the real thing. If you ever have a chance to get a hug from her, do it. I signed up for this weekend retreat, knowing that during this retreat I would receive at least two hugs. I had spent the previous year forgiving myself and others for relationships that hadnt worked out, I had made my Soulmate List and released it to the Universe, I had unhooked myself energetically from past lovers, and I truly believed in my heart that my soulmate was out there. Now I was hoping for a little cosmic power boost to help bring us together. On the first evening of the retreat, I patiently waited in line for my hug. I was

excited and a little nervous I had a plan but I didnt know if it would work. I had been told that when you receive a hug from Amma, she may whisper or chant into your ear but you dont converse with her, because she doesnt speak English. Finally it was my turn, and while she was hugging me, I whispered in her ear, Dear Amma, please heal my heart of anything that is stopping me from finding my soulmate. She laughed as I said this and squeezed me tighter. I knew that she had understood my prayer. That night I had a very vivid dream. In the dream there were seven women dressed in purple, sing17

ing to me. The lyrics of the song were: Arielle is the woman that comes after Beth. When I woke up in the morning, I was convinced it had been a signmy soulmate was out there, but he was currently with someone named Beth. The next evening I had an opportunity for a second hug from Amma. This time I whispered in her ear to please send me my soulmate, and I rattled off part of my wish list. Again she laughed and squeezed me tight. Three weeks later I went on an unexpected business trip to Portland, Oregon. One of the authors I had been

working with, Nick, was about to be interviewed for an important TV show. The taping had been moved from the studio in L.A. to Nicks home in Portland, and the publisher asked me to fly up and supervise the shoot. The call came late in the afternoon on a Thursday, and I needed to be in Portland the following morning. I called Nicks office and spoke to one of his business associates, Brian, who agreed to pick me up at the airport the following day. He kindly explained to me that because the Portland airport was under construction, he couldnt meet me at the gate, but he did tell me where I could find him just outside the terminal.

On the flight up to Portland, I was unusually nervous. At first, I thought it was because I was in the middle of a detox diet I had been subsisting on various juice and soup concoctions for about a week. However, I would find out soon enough where my nerves were coming from. When I landed at the gate, I followed Brians directions out of the terminal and quickly found him. The moment I saw him, I had the thought, I wonder who Beth is? This was quickly followed by the thought, Hes not your type and you are a little crazy today. When we arrived at Nicks house, the TV crew was setting up for the interview.

Once they were ready to begin taping, I sat in the back of the room on a little bench next to Brian. I should have been concentrating on the conversation between Nick and the host of the show, but I kept getting distracted by an overwhelming urge to massage Brians shoulders. The urge was so intense that I literally had to sit on my hands so I wouldnt be tempted! As I was sitting on that bench next to Brian, whom I had met only an hour earlier, I very clearly heard a voice say to me, Hes The One. This is how it happens. This is who you are going to spend your life with. By now I was convinced that I was losing my mind.
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I had never heard voices before, nor had I ever been compelled to rub a strangers shoulders. What was going on? When the interview was complete, the lights went on and we stood up. Brian turned to me and asked, When I picked you up at the airport, did 1 look familiar to you? Slightly taken aback, I answered, Yes, why do you ask? And he said, Because Ive been dreaming about you. I was so blown away by what he said that I just turned and began walking to the door to get some fresh air. As I was walking away, I heard Nick say to Brian, Lets take Arielle to dinner tonight before she has to catch her plane, and why dont you invite

Elizabeth to join us? As I reached the lakeside patio to sit down, I thought, Great. So there is a Beth. Not only a Beth, but an Elizabeth. It must be his wife. Then the voice came back and said simply, Dont worry. They are just like brother and sister. I didnt know what any of this meant. I was excited, hungry, and more than a bit confused. Later that day Brian and I went to dinner with Nick, his wife, a few other peopleand Elizabeth, who arrived with a friend. It was a hot summer evening, and the restaurant service couldnt have been slower. We ordered our dinner, but it was taking forever to arrive. Before my meal was even served, it was time for me to

go because I had to catch my flight home. Nick arranged for my trout dinner to be put into a to-go box, and Brian raced down the freeway to get me to the airport on time. As we were driving, I was feeding both of us my trout dinner and hearing myself say things I couldnt believe were coming out of my mouth. Things like, You know, I dont want to have any children. To which Brian responded, Thats why Elizabeth and I have broken up. She wants to get married and have children, and I dont want to. Then I heard myself say, Ive been looking for a tantra partner. At that point Brian nearly drove off the road (I later found out that he had been

dreaming about me for the past three weeks, and the night before he picked me up at the airport, we were in the tantric yab-yum position. This is when a man is sitting crosslegged and a woman sits on top of him and wraps her legs around his back and they are in full union, all chakras connected). We arrived at the airport. After a quick hug goodbye, I ran to catch my plane. As I waited in the terminal, I put in a call to my Vedic astrologer, Marc Boney. I briefly told him about Brian and gave him his birth info (which I had managed to extract from Brian before I caught my plane). By the time I got home, Marc had left a voice message for me that said: I looked up both of your charts. This is the
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clearest indication of a fated relationship I have ever seen. I predict you will marry him. One week later both Nick and Brian came to San Diego for Nicks book tour. Brian and I sat in the back of the room while Nick gave his lecture, writing notes to each other like seventh graders! Things moved very quickly from there. Brian and I became engaged three weeks later. Within two months, he moved to La Jolla to live with me. Exactly one year to the date that I asked Amma to help me find my soulmate (which was the culmination of two years of deliberately applying the Law of Attraction), she married us in a Hindu ceremony in front of thousands of people.

The Blossoming of Young Love . . .

During those two months between our meeting and

Brians move to La Jolla, our love letter writing was fast and furious. The many emails, cards, and notes we exchanged gave us a way to express our feelings, and continue deepening our bond in between our many phone calls and weekends together. Ill admit, rereading these letters and emails today, its easy to giggle at the desperate energy of our young love. Also, though, its interesting to see how many of our feelings toward each other, although much deeper after 13+ years together, are still as real as they were during those first weeks. That, for us, is one of the gifts of love letters. They give you and your love a moment to revel in the wabi sabi of your relationship, and celebrate the affection, adoration, respect, trust, and lust that first brought you together. To inspire you to remember how you felt about your spouse, partner, or special someone when you first met, I wanted to share some of the many emails and notes Brian and I exchanged during our first two months together.
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Defying Geography

The box of our printed emails and cards from this period
is large, so Ive chosen a mere handful to give you some ideas about how to make your lov-emails into keepsakes of your own.

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That trip to Yosemite over Labor Day was our first

together. Although it quickly turned into a wonderful weekend, Ill admit that my heart sank the moment we walked into the cabin Id rented. It was far more rustic than Id hoped, the only bathroom being a nearby outhouse. Each night, afraid of an unwelcome bear encounter, I woke Brian up in the wee hours to accompany me out there. He was a wonderful sport about it, and we spent three fabulous days hiking and biking amidst the breathtaking scenery.

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A Timeless Love...

Thrilled though I was Our engagement, which began just three weeks after we first met, was as spontaneous as it was surreal. It was a hot summer evening, and we were seated on the outdoor patio of a romantic Italian caf in the gaslamp quarter of San Diego. While reveling in the pleasure of each others company, Brian suddenly blurted out, Id marry you tomorrow if I could. Id marry you right now, but I didnt prepare. I dont have a ring. Shocked and elated, we quickly decided the Invisible Ring would mark our engagement. Hours later, I was on the phone with my best astrologer friends, who scoured the charts to find the most auspicious day for our wedding. about our engagement, in the weeks after accepting Brians Invisible Ring, I made sure to keep our precious secret to myself, fearing that friends and family would think us insane for committing to a life together after three short weeks in a long-distance relationship. Looking back, I can see that I needed more time to protect our young love, and nurture it until I was sure it would last. Barely six weeks later, however, Brian gently forced the issue by asking me when I was planning on telling my mother about our engagement. I hesitated, and quickly admitted that I was afraid to tell her. If I told her, I explained,
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that would mean the engagement was real. Brian smiled, and nodded. Yes, thats the whole point, he said. I want to marry you. I love you with everything I have and everything I am, and I want the world to know it. Moments later, I was on the phone with my mother, who was not only thrilled at our news, but also eager to kick off the celebration by throwing us an engagement party. A month later, the official festivities began with the party my mom planned for us in Orlando. Later that fall, we hosted an engagement party for our friends in Los Angeles.

Those parties would turn out to be the start of a long series of celebrations that would last into, and beyond, our first (and second!) wedding.

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With This (Invisible) Ring, I Thee Wed....

Brian moved to La Jolla weeks later, and with the help of my astrologer friends, we set our wedding date for June 22, 1998. I was both determined to find the ideal astrological date, and to spend some months living together to get to know each other before officially committing to our future together. By the time our wedding arrived, we were more in love than ever, and confident that our union was indeed meant to be. Our June 22nd wedding was breathtakingly beautiful, and was quickly followed by our legal wedding on August 9th, and then a third wedding with Amma, the beloved hugging saint of India who had blessed my wishes to find Brian, my beloved soulmate. Finally, we closed our many months of celebration with a fabulous post-wedding party that marked the official start of our life together as man and wife.

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Wabi Sabi Tips for Love Letter Writing...

The best love letters are unique to you and yours. For some couples, poetry is sacred. For others, its music, sports, humor, or certain turns of phrase and special memories that quickly bring you back to each other, and remind you of how special your union truly is. Here are some quick tips for writing love letters that help you create new memories worth holding onto: By all means, ush and gush. If ever there was a time A loving mindset makes all the difference. If youre annoyed that your partner left her dirty dishes on the counter, wait until youre in a loving mood to write your letter. The loving words you write will ring a lot truer when youre actually feeling them. Relax, and enjoy! What better chance to bask in the glow of love than when youre writing to your beloved? Feel the warm embrace of your best memories, your most cherished moments, and relive them in your mind as you write. That squabble you had this morning will mean so very little when you let turn into the vapor it was always meant to be.
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Celebrate the ties that bind you. Whether its pet names, actual pets, jokes, art, hiking, children, or other, those little (and big) things in your daily lives that continue to bring you together matter. Referring to them in your love letters, whether through images or words, makes your letters authentic to the only people who matteryou and yours.

to let it all spill out and express the true depths of your feelings, love letters are it. If you feel awkward expressing yourself so openly, its probably high time you did just that. You, your relationship, and your beloved all deserve that muchand lots more! Make it imperfect. Lets face itperfection is impersonal. Your poems may not rhyme, your hand-drawn hearts may be lopsided, but what matters is that your letters and cards are from the most special person ever. YOU.

 Leave it behind. Whats more fun than being surprised by a love letter? Here are some suggestions for delivering your letters in surprising ways:

Inside your loves towel. Inside a book shes currently reading. Taped behind a cupboard youre sure hell open. Behind her car sun visor. On his pillow. Inside her shoe. Taped to his favorite beverage. Underneath a clear glass. Hanging on a doorknob. Taped on the backside of the TV remote control. In the microwave. (Visible enough so it doesnt get cooked!) In her wallet or purse. Laminated and floating in a bubble bath. Very large, taped on an outside window. In her suitcase. In his coat pocket.

Attached to his key chain. In your mailbox. On the ceiling, above your bed. In her drawer. Inside a favorite CD or DVD case. Inside his favorite coffee cup. Taped to a bottle of favorite wine. Mailed to her office. In his slippers. Inside the pocket of her robe. On top of, or inside the drawer of, his bedside table. On the coffee machine. Sandwiched inside her closed laptop. Taped to his steering wheel. Nested inside her not-yet-read magazine. Let your imagination run wildthe options are endless!

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Treasuring Time...

As the years have passed, Brian and I have continued exchanging notes and letters, doing everything we can think of to celebrate the wabi sabi in our own love, and allow our gratitude for that first meeting to grow bigger with each new year. Rather than the abandoned dirty laundry or forgotten errand, we have focused on the support, fun, laughter, and warmth we have nurtured between us. To help get you in the mood to revel in the wonder of your own wabi sabi love, Im sharing a handful of the many cards weve exchanged since getting married.

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Oh My Sweet, My Beloved Valentine

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Charlie, dearly missed since 2005

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To You, My Love, On Your Special Day

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We celebrated Brians 50th during a cruise through French Polynesia. This is from our stop at Bora Bora.
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One of our most cherished traditions over the years has been the Sunday morning hike we enjoy with various friends and family. This photo is from one of our most recent hikes.

We love to travel to exotic places, and recently fell in love with the paradise known as Bali.

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Forever in Bloom..

During a recent vacation, Brian and I spent several long romantic walks reminiscing on our 13+ years together, and discussing whats changed between us, and for us, and what hasnt. Those conversations inspired a new love letter exchange, which Im sharing here. More than anything, though, those conversations reinforced what he and I have known for our many years togetherin a wabi sabi love relationship, the passage of time is a gift. When you learn to appreciate, accept, and occasionally laugh about, each others flaws and foibles, your life together grows bigger, more interesting, and your love, deeper and more beautifully intricate. And while you are more than welcome to borrow and massage the words of our love letters for your own, I hope, most of all, that our letters help you to revel in the perfect imperfections of your own relationships, to celebrate the silliness, bask in the sensuality, and reap the infinite rewards of wabi sabi love!

Dear Brian, July 18, 1997 was the day my life changed forever. I remember waking up that morning with butterflies in my stomacheven though I was about to take a short business trip to Portland, my body new something was up! The plan was simple: I was going to see one of my authors, Nick, to supervise a video shoot. Nicks business partner, some guy named Brian, (look for a tall man with salt & pepper hair in a silver car), would pick me up at the airport. In 24 hours I would be home. What was there to be nervous about??? I remember walking out of the airport and seeing you standing next to your car. In that instant I knew you were someone special. Within hours, I was sure we were meant to be together. My earliest impressions of you were: hes very kind, handsome, strong, confident, and sexy! Today, nearly 15 years later, all of those impressions are still true only now I know with 100% certainty that you are also deeply loving, generous, fascinating, fun, funny, intuitive, massively athletic, super smart, courageous, compassionate, consistent, loyal, selfless, spiritual and so much more. Your open heart, love of humanity and curious mind make you the most interesting person Ive ever met.
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Everyday with you is a fabulous adventure and I feel so grateful to share my life with you. You are my soulmate. My twin-flame. My best friend, lover, partner, healer and teacher. You have taught me the meaning of love and loving. You have shown me what true partnership is. You have healed my spirit and soul at the deepest level. And you have taught me, by example, how to be a more loving, kind, compassionate and generous person. You are my down comforter, my safe place to land, my biggest supporter and my greatest ally. With you I have the daily experience of being loved, being seen, being heard, being appreciated, and being connected in ways that I never dreamed possible. I am a better, bigger, ME, because of YOU. My deepest prayer is that I can make you as happy as you have made me. Love always, Arielle

WOW!! Thank YOU my Beloved Arielle for this precious Love Letterjust one more expression of LOVE from YOU that will be etched in my heart forever!! And I do, too, remember that first magical encounter at the Airport (as if it was yesterday) when you came through the revolving glass doorsYOU absolutely took my breath away and my heartbeat immediately began to tap dance on my Soul. This feeling quickly but effortlessly moved to an exquisite Ballet that began to generate a beautiful and nourishing rhythm that seemed to lift my spirit to the Cosmos and beyond, A primordial pulse, a feeling and inner sound that seemed like it was an Orchestration from the Heavensand then a soothing and comforting inner voice whispered in my earYou are HOME Brian..this is the beautiful woman youve been dreaming aboutyour Soulmate!! And now, 15 years later and breathing in this juicy love letter, I have that same instant blasting open of my heart and that nurturing and deep feeling of gratitude and appreciation for YOU and the remembering that my HOME is the 24/7 love and devotion for our sacred union. In fact the thought that comes over me at this very moment is Im a little off with our 1+ 1= 11 Soulmate Formula..Our LOVE actually FEELS like its expanded to 1 + 1= A MILLION GAZILLION + INFINITY!!!! My LOVE for you keeps expanding, growing and getting infinitely richer and more delicious every dayabsolutely GROOVY-LICIOUS indeed Arielle!! And weve been
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SO blessed with generating all sorts of fun and creative ways to play and work together-- -which seems like it spans lifetimes filled with unlimited joy and unfettered wonder. Weve truly been fortunate to explore and travel the World side by side, and to this very day, we continue to experience the beauty and grace of other cultures, distant and exotic countries and STILL have the constant desire (and Love for each other) to just sit on a beach holding hands, smootching as often as possible and gazing at the Stars and beyond dreaming up new adventures and interesting and cool ventures that hopefully make a difference in the Worldcheers my love!!And most definitely for ME Arielle today I still live each second with THE SAME INTOXICATING FEELING of excitement and curiosity, that same heart and Soul recognition, that same Tap Dance and Ballet and gorgeous and heavenly music that lifted my spirits when I laid my eyes on YOU and started this divine conspiracy of 2 people finding their way HOME almost 16 years agoDouble WOW!! And Arielle, please allow me to lovingly remind YOU that all your prayers have been met because youve made me the happiest guy on the Planet. It is SO easy to smile in my sleep cuddling up to YOU every night. My cup overflows with love, inspiration, respect, admiration and devotion for YOU and our continued journey that well share exploring our Soulmate connection, our sacred contract and ALL the incredible and amazing FUN were going to dream up togetherWooo-Hooo!!.

In fact I will end my LOVE LETTER to YOU with 2 promises my lovethe vow I made on our Wedding Day will continue forever and live deeper in my heart today and the years to comeEach night before we fall asleep I will acknowledge my love for YOU and each morning when we awake for another beautiful day of honor and privilege for the gift granted the two of us for the opportunity to share a magical life filled with LOVE, FRIENDSHIP and ROMANCE. And that soft place for YOU always to land that I promised will continue to only get bigger, brighter, warmer, more comfy, more nurturing and nourishing to your soul and fill your heart with the trust that this soft place to land will always be there no matter what you are experiencing, feeling or going throughmost importantly this soft place will be there for YOU to always remember and feel secure that you are unconditionally loved by the luckiest guy in the World And that I will always do my best to express that LOVE in a MILLION GAZILLION ways!!!!!! Your Best Friend, Twin Flame and Lover who sends you everlasting hugs, love and kisses for making my life so wildly blissful and joyfully meaningful. bri bri

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