life. and how to have one.
March 5, 2009
fve stories of intercultural dating
Take a mini-vacay
in Lawrence
jumpstart your spring
break plans at these
local destinations
Downtown’s most
charismatic bathrooms
‘abandon love, ye all
who pee here’
March 5, 2009
Volume 6, Issue 23 [ ]
10 FEATURE: love knows no
12 IN THE LIFE: permanent eyeliner? no problem
13 MANUAL: make Lawrence the new Cancun
16 JAYPLAY SAYS ... : be the next Mr. or Ms. Pollock
17 CONTACT: keepin’ it friendly sans sexual tension
18 REVIEWS: addicted to Shopaholic
19 SPEAK: ‘... the moment we were all waiting for’
Clockwise from top right: photo by
Alex Bonham-Carter; photo by Allison
Richardson; photo by Tyler Waugh







March 5, 2009
table of contents
Cover photo illustration by Rachael Gray







March 5, 2009
Editor Matt Hirschfeld
Associate editor Jessica Sain-Baird
Designers Erica Birkman, Lauren
Contact Elliot Kort, Stephanie Schneider
Health Sachiko Miyakawa, Megan Weltner
Manual Becka Cremer, Katherine Mulder,
Adam Schoof
Notice Madeline Hyden, Ross Stewart,
Zach White
Play Kelly Breckunitch, Kristopher
Contributors Drew Anderson, Mark
Arehart, Alicia Banister, Taylor Brown,
Chance Dibben, Mia Iverson, Carly
Halvorson, Daniel Nordstrom, Meghan
Nuckolls, Tom Powers, Abigail Olcese,
Brieun Scott, Kelci Shipley, Amanda Sorell
Creative consultant Carol Holstead
Contact us jayplay09@gmail.com
The University Daily Kansan
111 Stauffer-Flint Hall
1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
Lawrence, KS 66045
Billy Spears and the
Beer Bellies
Johnny’s Tavern, 6 p.m., free,
Poker Pub
The Pool Room, 7 p.m. and 10
p.m., free, 21+
Chess night at Aimee’s
Aimee’s Coffee House, 7 p.m.,
free, all ages
The Americana Music
Academy Jam
Signs of Life, 7:30 p.m., free,
all ages
Hank Williams III/
Those Poor Bastards
The Beaumont Club, 8 p.m.,
$18, all ages
Jason Boland & The
The Granada, 8 p.m., $15, 18+
That Acoustic Jam
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $2, 21+
Arthur Dodge
Harbour Lights, 10:30 p.m.,
$2, 21+
thursday, march 5
Poker Pub
Conroy’s Pub, 6 p.m. and 9
p.m., free, all ages
Band Of Heathens/
Charlie Horse
The Bottleneck, 7 p.m., $8,
all ages
The Junkyard Jazz
American Legion, 7 p.m.,
free, all ages
Lawrence Community
Theatre, 7:30 p.m., $14 to
$20, all ages
Neon Dance Party
The Bottleneck, 10 p.m.,
prices vary, 18+
Marty’s 47 again!
Waterfowl Habitat/
The Felt Show/
Dutch Newman/The
The Jackpot Music Hall, 10
p.m., $5 to $7, 18+
The Booty Up with
Cyrus D and Godzilla!
The Eighth Street Taproom,
10 p.m., $3, 21+
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., $2,
Lawrence Community
Theatre, 8 p.m., $14 to $20,
all ages
Chicago Afrobeat
The Bottleneck, 8 p.m., $8,
The Republic Tigers/
The Beaumont Club, 8 p.m.,
$10 p.m., all ages
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $6, 21+
Wade Bowen
The Granada, 10 p.m., $15,
all ages
Spirit of the Stairs/
Ample Branches/Echo
of the Elms
The Jackpot Music Hall, 10
p.m., $5 to $7, 18+
Iggy Baby
The Eighth Street Taproom,
10 p.m., $3, 21+
Phat Friday with DJ
Johnny’s Tavern, 10 p.m., free,
friday, march 6
Poker Pub
Conroy’s Pub, 6 p.m. and 9
p.m., free, all ages
Kansas Music Hall of
Liberty Hall, 7 p.m., $35, all
Lawrence Community
Theatre, 8 p.m., $14 to $20,
all ages
White Water Ramble
The Bottleneck, 9 p.m., $6,
The Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., $6, 21+
The Appleseed Cast/
Cowboy Indian Bear/
The Sailor Sequence
The Jackpot Music Hall, 10
p.m., $8 to $10, 18+
Saturday Soulcap
with Scenebooster
The Eighth Street Taproom,
10 p.m., $3, 21+
Late Night Price is
The Kansas Union, 10 p.m.,
free, all ages
saturday, march 7
monday, march 9
Lunafest 2009
Liberty Hall, 3 p.m. and 7
p.m., $8/students, all ages
Poker Pub
The Pool Room, 7 p.m. and
10 p.m., free, 21+
Smackdown! Trivia
and Karaoke
The Bottleneck, 8:30 p.m.,
prices vary, 18+
Jazz on a Sunday
The Eighth Street Taproom,
9 p.m., $2, 21+
Snake Bite
The Replay Lounge, 10
p.m., $2, 21+
Donna Brazile lecture:
“Women in American
Politics: Are We There
Woodruff Auditorium, 7 p.m.,
free, all ages
DJs Joc Max and Miles
The Phoenix Jazz Club, 8 p.m.,
free, 21+
sunday, march 8
jayplayers editor’s note
My mom was a
nun. She couldn’t bust
into song like Whoopi
or fy like Sally Field,
but for a decade of
her life, she devoted
her being to the man
She joined a convent, or a nunnery, as I
liked to call it, in Kansas City right after she
graduated from college. She had graduated from
the Catholic-affliated Rockhurst University in
Kansas City, Missouri, and majored in theology,
so the righteous path to a convent wasn’t too
much of a stretch.
Throughout my childhood and adolescence,
her years of devotion would occasionally
come up, mostly in the form of quirky stories
and random anecdotes. Her accounts didn’t
have much to do with her hours of prayer
and scripture reading, though. The stories
she told were flled with what most people
don’t associate nuns with—fun. Whether it be
occasionally sneaking to a local pub or harmless
pranks she played on other nuns and priests,
her stories made it sound as if swearing off men
wasn’t so bad.
She’d always drive the point home to me
that she didn’t leave the vocation for love or a
man. She left because the nuns were corrupt (or
at least that’s what I told other people). After 10
years, she felt her calling had expired and what
she had set out to do hadn’t materialized. She
still went to church every weekend for the rest
of her life, but knew her life as a nun got the shaft
when her role as a mother took over.
Check out Kelly’s short on page 4 about the
performance of Doubt that’s playing in Lawrence
this weekend. My mom was thankfully never as
strict or cold as the main nun in the play, Sister
Aloysius Beauvier, but maybe she would have
eventually got there if she stuck with it.
I also always used her former vocation to
my advantage. When instructors would say on
the frst day of classes, “Tell the class something
interesting about yourself,” I happily offered up
my mom’s former calling. The class and instructor
were so fascinated with this disclosure that they
never noticed my mom being a nun wasn’t
actually about me.
And maybe that’s what I learned from my
mom: You’re only as interesting as the people you
know. After all, we can’t all be singing or fying
— Matt Hirschfeld, editor
wednesday, march 11
The Alternate Routes
The Bottleneck, 8:30 p.m., $5,
all ages
Dollar Bowling
Royal Crest Bowling Lanes, 9
p.m., $1, all ages
The Naked Hearts/
Another Holiday/
The Jackpot Music Hall, 10
p.m., $5 to $7, 18+
The Eighth Street Taproom,
10 p.m., $3, 21+
tuesday, march 10
The Bottleneck
737 New Hampshire Street
The Eighth Street
801 New Hampshire Street
The Jackpot Music Hall
943 Massachusetts Street
926 1/2 Massachusetts Street
Liberty Hall
642 Massachusetts Street
The Lied Center
1600 Stewart Drive
The Pool Room
925 Iowa Street
Replay Lounge
946 Massachusetts Street
Symphonic Band and
University Band
The Lied Center, 7:30 p.m.,
$5 to $7, all ages
Tuesday Nite Swing
The Kansas Union, 8 p.m.,
free, all ages
Blitzen Trapper/Alela
The Jackpot Music Hall, 10
p.m., $10 to $12, 18+
(Every Saturday)
Best Pool Hall
by Students
$ 2 Imports
$ 3 Jager Bombs
$ 3 Guinness
Sun-Thurs (after midnight)
Sun & Wed Cash Prizes
10 ft. HD TV
925 Iowa (Behind the Merc)
March 5, 2009
This Weekend:
While Doubt has been garnering critical
acclaim on the silver screen, the Lawrence
Community Theatre is bringing it back to its
Director Mary Doveton says it was an easy
decision to put Doubt on the performance
list at the Lawrence Community Theatre this
season because it is so well written and won
the Pulitzer Prize for drama in 2005.
KU professor of anthropology Sandra Gray
plays the lead role of Sister Aloysius Beauvier.
Gray says audience members should not come
to the theater expecting the same version as
the flm, which is a problem with the movie
being released so close to the performance
dates. She says it affects how the audience
views someone’s portrayal of a role.
“Someone will say, ‘Well, she wasn’t Meryl
Streep,’” Gray says. “Well of course I’m not
Meryl Streep!”
The play is set in the 1960s and revolves
around Principal Beauvier’s suspicions that
a priest in their Catholic school is having an
improper relationship with a student.
Director Doveton says the substance of
the play is very powerful and she relates to
the education aspect of the play. “I was actually
in Catholic schools at the time they’re writing
about,” Doveton says.
Doveton and Gray both agree that the
experience is enhanced in the Lawrence
Community Theatre because of the thrust
stage, which protrudes out into the audience.
Both think this makes the play more intense
for the audience. “The audience is part of the
play,” Gray says.
If you want to be a part of Doubt, you
can see the performance at the Lawrence
Community Theatre at 1501 New Hampshire
Street at 7:30 tonight, 8 p.m. Friday or 8 p.m.
— Kelly Breckunitch
Contributed photo
“I have doubts. I have such doubts”: From left, Father
Flynn, played by Jason Abramowitz; Sister Aloysius,
played by Sandra Gray; and Sister James, played by
Amanda Thomas. ‘Doubt’ is playing this weekend at the
Lawrence Community Theatre.
Who knew a company known for its
greeting cards could spark the formation of a
band? That’s exactly what happened for Sarah
Anderson and her friends in the band Softee.
Anderson, lead singer, says they were drawn
together after working on the same illustration
team at Hallmark.
She says a game of “what ifs” followed
between her and her friends at Hallmark about
forming a band before their supervisor, Mimi,
started talking about playing drums. “I started
freaking out,” Anderson says. “I was like, ‘Oh my
god, we can have an all-girl band.’”
Now Softee has signed with an indie label
and has released an EP. Anderson says the band
members still work full time at Hallmark and
she is a parent, so they try to balance their
schedules with being a band.
Anderson says the band doesn’t like to
describe its own sound but when pushed, she
describes it as “low-f, kind of girlie pop.” She
says many people compare Softee to other
bands. “Recently we’ve been called Weezer
hangs out with OK Go meets Luscious Jackson,”
Anderson says.
Anderson says she never would have started
performing if she hadn’t had her friends from
work, and eventual band mates, around her, and
that’s something she thinks most people don’t
realize about music.
“Anybody can do this if they have some
music inclination and are around friends that are
going to give each other a chance,” Anderson
says. “It’s too scary otherwise.”
See Softee play at 8 p.m. Friday at The
Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania Avenue, in
Kansas City, Missouri.
— Kelly Breckunitch
Contributed photo
All play and no work ... : The band mates of Softee met
while they were coworkers at Hallmark.
Buy Reg. Price Shoes, Get a T-shirt,
a Hat, or any Winter Item
50 percent off!
1005 Massachusetts
sale ends Sunday, March 22
By Vance Weintraub
March 5, 2009
Game on!
By Kelly Breckunitch
Video games are attracting more casual gamers than ever, so don’t
Photo by Tyler Waugh
Can’t stop the beat: Max Freed, Chicago senior, and Humboldt senior Brad Witherspoon play ‘Rock Band’ at the
Ambler Student Recreation Fitness Center. Freed was hosting game night, which happens at the rec center Tuesday
nights from 6:30 to 9. Participants can play Xbox 360 and Wii systems.
let the opportunity pass you by to ‘pwn’ some ‘noobs’ with your friends
I sling my guitar over my shoulder and
strum through the opening of Bon Jovi’s “Livin’
on a Prayer.” My drummer crashes the cymbals
and Brad Witherspoon, Humboldt senior, takes
the lead on vocals.
The band fnishes the song strong, and I
stand with my head held high after carrying my
band mates through this rendition.
This chance performance can only happen
in the world of Rock Band or Guitar Hero. I
can barely play a real guitar, and let’s just say
Witherspoon will not be winning the next
American Idol. This new era of video games,
though, is reaching the masses and connecting
on a social level.
Matt Beck, coordinator of intramurals and
special events at the Ambler Student Recreation
Fitness Center, pushed for a game night at the
rec center. Beck says Associate Vice Provost
Frank DeSalvo was a big promoter of the game
night. “He had the idea that we should have
recreational opportunities that people don’t
have to necessarily sweat to do,” Beck says.
It’s true. Video games don’t make you sweat,
and I would know. I’m one to get my workout
from boxing on Wii Sports.
Ease of playing
Alan Flores, lead developer of Guitar Hero
World Tour, is in the heart of the market and
sees the draw that Nintendo’s Wii has on an
unexpected group of people.
“My mom came over to our house and
wanted to try Wii bowling with my kids,”
Flores says.
The Wii’s simplicity is part of the reason it
has attracted so many people to gaming and
made gaming such a social activity. Flores says
the ease of using the Wii controller is partly
why it has that pull, and why his mom wanted
to play the Wii.
“If you put a (Xbox) 360 controller in her
hand, she would have no idea what to do with
it,” Flores says.
Beck also sees the ease with which this
generation can adapt to video games and how
easy it would be for someone to go to the rec
center’s game night and start playing. “Four-
year-olds can come in and start playing,” Beck
The advent of online play and multiplayer
games has also boosted the popularity of gaming.
Gene Nutt, owner of Game Nut, 844
Massachusetts Street, says that’s part of the
reason the game lounge at his store is such
a hit. With so many multiplayer games, players
are usually online but still in isolation. His
game lounge gives players the opportunity to
interact with others while playing.
Nutt also says that Game Nut hosts
tournaments from time to time in the game
lounge, and that it doesn’t hurt that the store
has 14 TVs with sizes ranging from 42 inches
to 60 inches.
I played Rock Band for the frst time in the
game lounge, and there’s something extremely
satisfying about playing on a huge freakin’
Rec center coordinator Beck says he
realizes students don’t always have the
facilities or hardware, such as big TVs or
multiple controllers, to make gaming with
friends possible, but the rec center is trying
to provide that.
Playing online
Online gaming has become very popular
in recent years. The Wii even recently added
online gaming, something no Nintendo console
had done previously. Flores says social gaming
started with puzzle games on the Internet.
Professional gamer and Lawrence resident
Leland Jones says when he frst came to
Lawrence, he was known for his Halo 2 skills
and that got him some attention online. “A lot
of kids in the area, they look up to me and
ask me to play with them all the time,” Jones
says. Jones also says the new Xbox set-up
promotes social interaction between games
with the different venues for communication.
Paul Schmitz, Marysville freshman, says
he plays online mostly, but sees where some
games can be played socially. “Rock Band and
Guitar Hero are allowing people to get together
and do it for social reasons,” Schmitz says.
Aaron Fast, Hutchinson junior, says
sometimes school can get in the way, but he
hasn’t been able to resist since his roommate’s
brother brought over his Xbox 360. “We’ve
been addicted to it since we got it,” Fast says.
Some games’ addictive and popular natures
go hand-in-hand. I know I’ve had stretches
when I couldn’t put my guitar controller down,
and when I’d move my eyes away from the TV,
everything in the room would be swirling.
Flores, lead developer of Guitar Hero World
Tour, says some people in the video game industry
fgured Guitar Hero had peaked with Guitar Hero
2. “I never questioned for a minute that it was
going to get bigger,” Flores says.
In terms of overall video games, Game
Nut owner Nutt says he sees an expanding
demographic. “It’s not just the nerds playing
video games anymore,” Nutt says. He says he
also sees more and more women playing video
Chances are you have at least one friend
with a video game system. Don’t be afraid to
have some group fun with whatever games they
have. If the rec center, a place synonymous with
physical exercise, is hosting a video game night,
it’s OK for you to relax and indulge yourself in
some simple, brain-melting fun. JP
If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m a bit of a
video game nerd. My roommate and I have
four systems hooked up in our apartment
that cover games from six systems. I realize
not everyone may have the latest gaming
system, but here are some older and newer
recommendations for games to play with
Guitar Hero/Rock Band: OK, you have
to know at least one friend who has either
of these titles. If not, I feel bad for you. This
really has become the ultimate group gaming
experience. New downloadable content is
added weekly on top of the evergrowing set
lists already available on the games. If you have
not already hosted a Rock Band/Guitar Hero
night for your friends, you should.
Super Smash Bros.: The great thing about
these games is that they are available on three
different systems, so I’ve got you covered
there. They all play equally well, but I am
partial to the newer one. I did toil with my
roommate for a couple of weeks after it was
released to unlock all of the characters. Plus,
who doesn’t want to take the opposite side
and crush Mario with Bowser?
Halo: This is probably the frst multiplayer
game I got into, and I’ve never owned an
Xbox. I remember going over to my friend’s
apartment all the time to play this game. I’m
a melee specialist, so I prefer Halo 3. There’s
nothing better than smacking the shit out of
somebody with an anti-grav hammer. Plus, if
you have multiple Xboxes, you can get a huge
game going with a lot of friends.
Friendly Competition
On Friday nights, the women’s bathroom at
The Bottleneck is packed. Girls crowd around
the small vanity, fuffng their hair, adjusting
their clothing and staring narcissistically in the
mirror. Muggy from all the body heat, the room
buzzes with chitchat, the click of high heels
on the tile foor and drunken laughter. Empty
drink cups and wads of paper towel litter
the counter and music from the band playing
outside the bathroom pulses loudly every time
the squeaky door opens. By the end of the
night, the bathroom looks like a war zone.
But behind the people and debris, bar
bathrooms in Lawrence’s downtown area hold
a slew of history and tradition inside their
stall doors. From painted murals to marker-
written prose on the walls, a bar’s personality
and style are often revealed on the walls of its
bathrooms. After careful consideration, here
are our favorite bar bathrooms in Lawrence.
— Madeline Hyden
The Bottleneck
the Eighth Street Taproom
Painted black, the walls serve as a sort
of chalkboard for artwork and inspirational
quotes. One stall door shows the phrase, “You
are beautiful exactly the way you are,” and
“True beauty lies within” paints the cabinets
under the sink. A few standard concert fiers
plaster the walls amidst paintings of stars and
broken hearts. Housing men’s and women’s
bathrooms, The Bottleneck’s facilities
were subtly artistic, with smaller pieces of
work on the walls and less clutter. The night
we visited the bar, singer-songwriter Sylvia
Niccum was using the bathroom to warm
up for her set that night.
“This bathroom has great acoustics,” she
— Madeline Hyden
Bathrooms on both the main and basement
levels of The Eighth Street Taproom
are lit with a red light and covered with black
paint, giving the rooms a dingy, DeNiro-in-
Taxi-Driver feel. Photos of Dolly Parton and
Kenny Rogers mark the bathrooms’ gender
and indistinguishable graffti arbitrarily cover
the walls. The hallway walls leading up to the
bathrooms on the main level are coated with
photos of patrons and staff members, drinking
and looking generally merry.
The walls were once covered in paintings
done by Travis Miller, a local artist who
eventually moved to Los Angeles to pursue his
art career. The walls have since been painted
over because someone blacked out the eyes
of the paintings’ subjects.
— Madeline Hyden
Peeping is taboo. So it’s surprising to
fnd six peepholes in a wall above urinals
at Abe & Jake’s Landing. Instead of
having to stare off into a wall or at the
wet foor, one has the option of squinting
at the dance foor. It removes the stress of
avoiding eye contact with other men while
at the urinals.
The holes are not the easiest thing to
spot. A manager mentioned how he had
worked there for three years and never
noticed them.
Sure, they’re slightly creepy. Men peeing
and watching people dance at the same
time is a little strange. But, come on, there’s
something intriguing about it.
— Ross Stewart
Abe & Jake’s
March 5, 2009
it starts with a drink
and ends here
The top seven downtown bar bathrooms
By Madeline Hyden
and Ross Stewart
and rstewart@kansan.com
Photos by Alex Bonham-Carter
replay lounge
The Replay Lounge’s bathrooms are
a color explosion. From foor to ceiling, swirls
of faces, limbs and words decorate the very
small quarters. The women’s bathroom boasts a
Charlie’s Angels painting and the Replay defnitely
wins for the most writing on the walls. Mostly
about sex and relationships, the quotes give
bathroom users something entertaining to look
at. Replay bartender Shawn Lamoreaux says the
bathrooms offer a unique viewing experience.
“I like to be occupied when I’m chuckin’ a
deuce,” he says. “The fouler the stuff on the wall,
the better.”
— Madeline Hyden
jackpot music hall
The Jackpot Music Hall topped our
list for most readable bathroom. Every inch
of the walls, including inside the stalls, are
sheathed with promotional fiers for bands.
Bartender Caleb Kelley says the owners
have been collecting the fiers from booking
agents since the bar opened in 2005 and
every year the old fiers are peeled off and
new ones are applied.
The witty phrases and photos on the fiers
provide a laugh for the bathrooms’ users.
“This is my favorite bathroom in
Lawrence,” Emily Patrick, Lenexa senior,
says. “Where else can you read ‘Press here
for bacon’ inside of a stall?”
— Madeline Hyden
Abe & Jake’s
Not-so-surprisingly, the bathrooms have a marine-aquatic theme at
The Sandbar. Upon entering the men’s room, take a look up at the
ceiling. There’s a painting of a little boy playing pocket pool. He looks
content. It takes you by surprise and it should. It’s just plain funny.
The painting was once hung on the wall by the urinal, but
eventually was moved. “It was a little awkward to urinate with a
little boy staring at you,” says Sandbar bartender John.
On top of a painting of a little boy with a hand stuffed in his
pants the bathrooms have an ocean-scene theme, which is ftting.
The only detail that would make these bathrooms better is if the
men’s room door was ever closed.
— Ross Stewart
At the Jazzhaus, the bathrooms
look as if they were stolen from The
Sandbar. On the door of the men’s
bathroom is an interpretation of “The
Son of Man,” a surrealist painting by
René Magritte, in which a man in a
suit’s face is hidden by a green apple.
This establishment sports not
one but two women’s rooms, which
is practical with the often-long lines
for women at bars.
All of the bathrooms are covered
in paintings of sea creatures, topless
mermaids, turtles and an octopus
with what looks like a drug and
alcohol problem (it holds fve drinks
and a spliff in its tentacles).
— Ross Stewart
“Heather, I fucked your boyfriend last year,
sorry. XOXO, Ericka.”
“God gives head in heaven.”
“Champagne for my real friends and real
pain for my sham friends.”
“Abandon all love, ye all who pee here.”
“Claire, you’re a sexy bitch. I hope you don’t
mind the HPV I gave you.”
“God gave us life, Lucifer gave us choice.”
— Madeline Hyden
wor ds of wi sdom
f r om downt own bat hr oom st al l s
See more
photos on
page 8
7 March 5, 2009
it starts with a drink
The Bottleneck
THE Eighth Street TapRoom
replay lounge
music hall
Abe & Jake’s
The Bottleneck
March 5, 2009
Photos by
Alex Bonham-Carter
Abe & Jake’s
March 5, 2009
BUMP It On The
N.A.S.A.: The Spirit of Apollo
Comprised of the beat-mashing duo of
Squeak E. Clean (director Spike Jonze’s brother
Sam Spiegel) and DJ Zegon (pro skateboarder
Ze Gonzales) is N.A.S.A., a band whose
acronym means North America/South America.
The collaboration blends together an eclectic
mix of musical infuences of the group’s two
halves. Zegon, a native of Sao Paulo, brings the
Brazilian funk and a universal favor and Squeak
E. Clean brings American blues, jazz and even a
little new wave. Both share a love for hip hop.
The guest appearances range from old
school hip-hop legends, such as Chuck D and
KRS-One, to newer rap legends (E-40, Method
Man, RZA), experimental artists (Tom Waits,
David Byrne) and contemporary pop artists
(Kanye West, Santogold). The Spirit of Apollo has
an interesting, upbeat, infectious sound.
Joe Budden: Padded Room
The much-anticipated follow-up to his
self-titled debut album is exactly what fans
expected but not quite what they deserved.
Lyrically, Budden stays pretty sharp but his
beat selection is another story entirely (made
unabashedly clear on “Don’t Make Me,” which
sounds like leftover background music from
the Beverly Hills Cop series). Budden destroys
Prodigy (1/2 of Mobb Deep) on “Blood On The
Wall” despite having gotten bodied by Saigon
(“Pushing Buddens”) a month ago.
Budden is consistent but boring, and the
album is a refection, running stale after only
a few tracks. His fow grows tiresome and his
lines lack a certain punch. The only redeeming
quality of the album is the bonus track and
that’s mainly due to the features (Ransom and
Fabolous, specifcally). Check out the snippets
on iTunes but, ultimately, I’d leave this one on
the shelf.
— Tom Powers
servvices. i s w.leg o t Go to www egalse r s.ku.edu for
ere you c iinfo infoormatio tion on wher get can get
nce! e! FR FREE ta E t E tax assistanc
February 26, 2009
11 March 5, 2009 March 5, 2009 10
Worlds. Here and now.
When two people
from different
cultures date
By Sachiko Miyakawa
hen I get a craving for some ice
cream, I sometimes have Matcha
powder by my side. I scoop the
ice cream in a bowl and add a pinch of the
powder. I slowly mix them together in the
I taste the ice cream. The aroma of green
tea spreads in my mouth. It’s bitter at frst, but
gradually becomes sweet.
“Do you want to try Matcha ice cream?” I
offer my boyfriend.
“Huh? What is that?” he asks.
“It’s good, just try it.”
He scoops up the ice cream with a spoon. I
quietly watch him fnish the bite. “Do you like
“Yeah, it’s good. I like it.” He eats another
I always like to see how my boyfriend, who’s
lived all his life in Kansas, responds to Japanese
food.Soba noodles,stir-fry with sliced burdocks,
seaweed salad—he’s pleasantly surprised every
time I introduce different foods and favors to
Cross-cultural exchanges in the kitchen
are just one pleasure of having a signifcant
other who comes from another country.
These relationships come with their own
challenges, but many of the challenges are
the same that every couple deals with—such
as communication and families—but also the
heightened worry for college students of what
to do after graduation.
Alyssa Esperance was frst attracted to her
husband, Fritz-Gerald Esperance, a former KU
student, “because he is from somewhere else.
He is from Haiti.” Growing up near the military
base in Leavenworth, Alyssa, a senior, was
exposed to multiple cultures at an early age,
and she always wanted to move to a foreign
country. Alyssa also says Fritz’s outgoing and
laidback personality complements her shy and
fretful personality.
People are often attracted to differences
Photo by Rachael Gray
Alyssa Esperance, Leavenworth senior, and Fritz-Gerald Esperance, a former KU student, were attracted to their opposite personalities. Alyssa has more of a timid personality,
and Fritz-Gerald is more outgoing.
and fnd them refreshing, but those differences
can also be the biggest problem for couples
later in relationships, says Nomi Redding,
clinical social worker in Lawrence.
Alyssa likes Fritz’ laidback personality, but
she says she sometimes feels frustrated by
miscommunication, which often results from
what they see as their culturally different
perceptions of time. Though she has a
concrete sense of time, she says, he’s more
relaxed—“See you in 30 minutes” can mean
one or two hours. “It’s important to make
sure that the other person is clear about
what you’re trying to say,” Alyssa says.
Though it’s important to respect each
other’s differences, people in a relationship
should share a few core values that keep
the relationship strong, says Grete Shelling,
coauthor of In Love But Worlds Apart. Born
in Austria, Shelling has been married to her
American husband for almost 40 years.
Although she usually likes to stay at home
watching movies and playing the piano, her
husband is more outgoing and into American
sports. Shelling says their personalities and
interests are often different, but going to
church every Sunday brings them closer
Lindsey Piper, Leavenworth junior, says she
tried to fnd more similarities than differences
on her frst date with Yasser Alsallom, Riyadh,
Saudi Arabia, junior. They are both planning
to study medicine, they both work hard for
school and they are laidback, too.
Before Yasser asked Lindsey out, she
didn’t know much about Saudi Arabia and
believed the stereotype that Saudi men
were controlling. She quickly discarded her
stereotype after getting to know Yasser.
“He’s very respectable and he’s cute. I kind
of wanted to see if things were going a little
further and they did,” says Lindsey, who has
been dating him for more than a year.
Lindsey comes from a Christian family,
and Yasser grew up in a Muslim family.Their
different religious backgrounds inspire
them to learn about each other’s religious
cultures. Whenever Lindsey thinks of a
question about Islam, she does research
online and asks about Yasser’s opinion.
Lindsey says she wasn’t interested in Saudi
Arabia before, but now wants to visit the
country after hearing Yasser talk about his
But not everybody accepts their
relationship. “Be careful,” some friends
warn her when fnding out she’s dating a
Saudi man. “I feel a little offended. I’ll say,
‘You know, you guys don’t
know him yet. You can’t
make these comments,’”
she says. “My view is accept
our relationship as long as
we are happy.”
Lindsey says she was
reluctant to tell her
parents about Yasser at
frst, worrying her parents
would judge him based on
prejudices against Saudi
Arabia and Islam. Her
parents expressed their
hesitancy when she told
them aboutYasser,but taking
him to her parents’ house
helped them to accept him
and understand more about
his background.
Yasser says his parents
also approve of their
relationship. Dating is a
taboo in Saudi Arabia, he
says, but his parents have a
good understanding about
different social norms in the
United States and leave him
to make his own decisions.
The gap between the
cultures does come up sometimes. Lindsey
was once having a political discussion with her
mother. As it got heated, Lindsey raised her
voice, which surprised Yasser. ‘You shouldn’t
talk to your mother like that,’ he says he later
told Lindsey. She then explained to him that
she hadn’t meant to be rude.
Though the couple might not fnd big
challenges in their differences, introducing a
foreign girlfriend or boyfriend to the family
can be a big event, especially for international
Ali Iyican, Famagusta, Northern Cyprus,
senior, recently introduced his American
girlfriend, Christian Watkins, to his family in
Northern Cyprus by way of a Web camera.
He says bringing a signifcant other home is
not common in Cyprus. Ali says he had never
introduced his girlfriend to his family, and
he was nervous. He and Christian, Chanute
junior, practiced role-playing conversations
several times.
Ali translated the conversation between
his family and Christian. They didn’t talk
much, but from their big smiles, he could
tell his family liked her. Right after the video
conversation, Christian received gifts from his
family, including a ring with Nazarlik, a Cyprian
amulet meant to protect against the evil eye.
Redding, clinical social worker, says some
parents can seem less accepting and fexible
with another culture. She says meeting in
person or talking on the phone or through a
Web camera will help relieve parents’ stress
and create better communication, because
such communication allows them to see
their child’s partner as a person rather than
a foreigner. If parents are still not accepting,
she suggests fnding allies who can bridge the
relationship between the partner and parents.
This includes siblings, uncles and aunts.
Michael Davidson, former KU student and
senior at Loyola University
New Orleans, has gone to
Germany twice to visit his
girlfriend and her family.
Michael and Anne Stahr
started dating four years
ago when she was a foreign
exchange student in his
high school in Russell. Anne
recently moved to the United
States to attend KU to close
the gap in their long-distance
Michael says his German
was not fuent, so he
was worried he wouldn’t
communicate well with her
family at frst.
Anne’s family was
hospitable, he says, but he
also found a more formal
family dynamic than many
American families, and it took
him a while to get closer to
them. For example, her family
always cooked him traditional
Germanfood instead of more
casual, everyday meals. One
evening at the dinner table,
Michael made a grammatical
mistake, trying to say something such as, “Can
you pass me potatoes?” Anne’s parents then
teased him for the frst time, which he took as
a sign of their intimacy with him.
Michael says meeting Anne’s family
and staying in Germany helped make the
relationship stronger because he got to see
the environment in which she grew up and
learned the German language intensively. He
says he and Anne are thinking of marriage, and
he continues studying German so he will be
able to move to Germany in the future.
If couples are in a long-term relationship,
at some point many of them will have a
conversation about marriage and make a future
plan, such as where to live and work. Some
couples will talk about it when graduating
from college, while other couples delay the
conversation until they are ready to make a
commitment or establish their own careers.
For many international couples, however,
graduation forces them to make some
important decisions in their lives.
I’m graduating in May. My boyfriend doesn’t
speak Japanese, so living in Japan is not an
option. I don’t mind living in the United States,
but I’ll have to either marry him or fnd a job
that can sponsor my visa to stay in the United
States. I’m not ready to marry yet.While I look
for jobs, at the moment I’m putting off the
question:What if I’ll have to go back to Japan?
The option to move or stay isn’t open to all
international couples, especially if one partner
doesn’t speak the other’s language. However,
Astrid Houchin, Lima, Peru, sophomore, took
that leap.
Astrid and her husband, Anthony Houchin,
2008 graduate, moved to the United States
from Peru in 2003. They met in 2000 in Peru
while Anthony was traveling, and they got
married after having a three-year long-distance
Anthony spoke Spanish fuently, but Astrid
didn’t speak English.Astrid was pregnant when
she just moved to the United States. She didn’t
have any family or Peruvian friends here. A
friend visited her from Peru when she gave
birth and stayed with her for a week. She says
it was a big emotional help for her because
her family was not able to come from Peru.
When her friend left the United States, Astrid
separated from her in tears, worrying about
challenges that she had to go through to raise
a child in the United States.
Astrid says as her English improves, she is
making more friends and starting to enjoy her
life in the United States. She’s now a student at
KU majoring in art.
Astrid and Anthony enjoy food from the
two countries, and salsa dancing and meringue.
They recently started teaching latin dance to
their two children, 5-year-old and 3-year-old
boys, both fuent in English and Spanish. They
both agree having a partner from another
culture is an asset that enriches their lives, and
raising children in a multicultural environment
is one of the best parts. JP
l 274,000 foreign nationals obtained
green cards through marriage to American
citizens in 2007.
l Of 1,052,000 green cards issued in 2007,
more than 25 percent were to the spouses
of American citizens.
l 2.3 million foreign nationals obtained
green cards through marriage to American
citizens between 1998 to 2007.
Source: U.S. Department of Homeland Secu-
rity “2007 Yearbook of Immigration Statistics”
International marriage
in the United States
Photo by Allison Richardson
Anthony Houchin, 2008 graduate, and Astrid Houchin, Lima, Peru, sophomore, married after a three-year, long-
distance relationship, and have two children.They met in Peru when Anthony was traveling in the country.
Photo by Allison Richardson
Ali Iyican, Famagusta, Northern Cyprus, senior, recently introduced his American girlfriend, Christian Watkins,
Chanute junior, to his family in Northern Cyprus through aWeb camera.
Is your computer running slowly? Then it’s
time for some spring cleaning.
Ccleaner, formerly Crap Cleaner, is a
program for Windows that deletes unneeded
(crap) fles from your computer. You can
choose which fles you would like to remove
so you don’t delete important data.
For the paranoid, there are settings that
allow you to delete your data to Department
of Defense or National Security Agency
specifcations. This might take a long time,
though, because the program has to delete
your fles several times over.
Ccleaner also cleans out your computer’s
registry, which is where Windows stores its
settings for programs. Many of these settings
are unneeded or redundant, so cleaning
your registry can help your computer’s
Ccleaner also allows you to uninstall
programs, some of which you cannot see in
Windows’ uninstall utility.
If you want to have good soil for your
planting this spring, then you should make a
compost pile.
Composts require three elements, says
Cassandra Ford, waste reduction and recycling
specialist for the city of Lawrence. You need
moisture, heat and “ingredients” to make a
compost pile. The ingredients consist of brown
waste, such as leaves or mulch, and green
waste, such as grass. The brown ingredients
provide carbon, and the green ingredients
provide nitrogen, Ford says, which start the
compost process.
You can put most waste into your compost
pile. Don’t put in meats or dairy products
because these will rot, smell and attract
animals. You can bury other food waste and it
won’t smell.
As for maintenance, composts are pretty
simple. You don’t even have to do anything
if you don’t want to, but you can turn the
compost material over to make it decompose
faster. If you do this, then your compost pile
will decompose in six months; if you don’t do
anything, it will take about a year, Ford says.
To accelerate your composting efforts,
buy or make a compost bin. Compost bins
March 5, 2009
Photo illustration by Adam Schoof
Clean sweep: Ccleaner deletes unneeded fles several
times over to speed up your computer’s performance.
Make a compost pile
Photo by Adam Schoof
Dig this: Making your own compost pile is a great way
to get some good soil for your spring planting.
Clean up your
[ d o i t y o u r s e l f ]
keep out animals, which may try to live in
your compost during the winter because of
the heat composting creates. Most plastic
compost bins are black, which absorbs heat
from sunlight and speeds up the composting
— Adam Schoof
in the life of...
A permanent make-up artist
Jan Bishop gently pulls on both corners of
her client’s eye with one hand while her other
hand holds the needle steady as it slowly inches
across the eyelid, leaving a black line just above
the eyelashes.
Bishop has nine years of experience as
a permanent makeup artist. Her goal is to
make eyeliner, lip liner and eyebrow tattoos
look as natural as possible. Bishop is the only
permanent makeup artist at and owner of Skin
Illustrations, 725 North Second Street. It offers
services ranging from tattoos and piercings to
haircuts and highlights.
Unlike normal tattoo artists, Bishop prides
herself on the fact that most people don’t even
notice her work. She says her married clients
claim their husbands don’t even know. Though
most of her clients are over 30 years old,
Bishop says she has student clients from KU
and even a handful from Kansas State.
The procedure itself is similar to a normal
tattoo except the needle doesn’t go as deep
into the skin and a special cosmetic pigment
is used. Another difference is in the amount of
Nina Courter had her eyes permanently
lined by Bishop shortly after she started
working at Skin Illustrations a year ago. She
Photo by Adam Schoof
Only you can stop forest fres: Or, if you need some help,
you can call up Clinton Lake park ranger David Rhoades.
says the pain and fear of getting a tattoo are
worse when the needle is so close to the
eye. “It is like comparing a mammogram to
a pap test. They both have the same amount
of discomfort but they are two completely
different experiences.”
— Katherine Mulder
Photo by Katherine Mulder
Eye-opener: Jan Bishop, permanent makeup artist at
Skin Illustrations, strives to make the makeup look as
natural as possible.
You can download Ccleaner at www.
— Adam Schoof
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . JACKPOTMUSI CHALL. COM
943 MASS LAWRENCE KS 785. 823. 1085 A

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March 5, 2009
Livin’ it up
in Lawrence
By Becka Cremer
If you can’t send yourself to the vacation
Contributed photos
Spring break fun: The Robert J. Dole Institute of Politics’ lawn can be a
fun place to lounge and picnic, and exhibits within the museum are free.
When she was a child and her family
needed a break from dreary weather,
Courtney Bregar’s mother brought Florida
to Illinois. Bregar, Chicago junior, says she
remembers boarding a pretend train—a row
of chairs in their kitchen—with her
sister. After awhile, their mother
would announce they had arrived
and would send the girls to put on
their swimming suits.
While the girls were getting
ready for a day at the beach, their
mother would set up a picnic of
summertime foods on a blanket.
“We’d eat our food in ‘Florida’
in the sun,” Bregar says. “Instead of being in
Chicago in the snow.”
Years ago, Bregar’s mom found ways to
bring a vacation home to her daughters. This
spring break, Bregar intends to return the
favor when her mom comes to visit.
“I’m going to show her what Lawrence is
really like,” Bregar says. “I’m going to show her
the hot spots. I’m trying to make my home a
mini-vacation for my mom, just like she used
to do for us.”
If you’re staying in Lawrence for spring
break, take a cue from Bregar and her family
and fnd the vacation spots in your routine.
Here are some places to start:
Learn about Lawrence history
If you grew up with parents who thought
vacation was synonymous with education,
make an effort to bone up on Lawrence history
this break—you’ll get all of the perks of those
childhood vacations without the long car rides
with your siblings.
Saira Khan, Lawrence
senior,suggests starting at
the Watkins Community
“The museum
downtown is neglected
a lot. Kansas is a
historically rich place. It
was a hotbed of activity
during the Civil War, with a lot going on,” she
this spring break, bring the vacation to you
After you’ve visited the museum, head
to the Lawrence Convention and Visitors
Bureau to pick up a few brochures for self-
guided tours around Lawrence. Alternately,
download the tours onto your iPod from the
visitors bureau
website. Debbie
White, manager
at the Lawrence
Convention and
Visitors Bureau,
suggests a self-
guided tour called
“Quantrill’s Raid:
The Lawrence
She says all KU students should learn a
little about Lawrence history. “Then they’d
understand the Border War,” she says.
“Because it’s not just about sports.”
Rediscover campus
When you’ve had your fll of local
history, use the week off classes to
head back to campus.
The Natural History Museum
in Dyche Hall and the Spencer
Musuem of Art will maintain regular
hours through spring break. The
Natural History Museum is hosting
a “Science of the Human Body”
exhibit during the break. The exhibit
is geared toward younger children,
says Khan, who works as a visitor
services associate at the museum,
but everyone can fnd something
interesting about the human body.
Even if you don’t know
anything about art, museums
offer calming places to take
a break from your hectic life,
says Bill Woodard, director
of communications at the
museum. Take your friends,
he says, because it gives you
something new to talk about.
“Plus, it’s a cheap date
to come here,” Woodard says. “Admission is
always free.”

If you’re looking
for a more active, on-
campus spring break
activity, head to the
Kansas Union for
some bowling or to
the lawn at the Robert
J. Dole Institute of
“Although the
museum is interesting to
some,it’s not everyone’s
thing,” says Cori Ast,
c o mmu n i c a t i o n s
coordinator at the Dole Institute.The grassy area
outside the building is a great place to picnic, play
guitar or hang out, she says. And if you’re in the
mood to learn something, too, admission to the
museum is free.

Watkins Community Museum
1047 Massachusetts Street
Hours: Tuesday, Wednesday,
Friday and Saturday, 10 a.m. to
4 p.m.; Thursday, 10 a.m. to
8 p.m.
Lawrence Convention
and Visitors Bureau
402 North Second Street
Hours: Monday through
Saturday, 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.;
Sunday, 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.
Spencer Museum of Art
1301 Mississippi Street
Hours: Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday,
Saturday and Sunday, Noon to 4 p.m.;
Thursday 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.
Natural History Museum
1345 Jayhawk Blvd.
Hours: Tuesday through Saturday
9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Kansas Union, Level 1
Hours: Monday through Friday,
10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Robert J. Dole Institute of Politics
2350 Petefsh Drive
Hours: Monday through Saturday,
9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Bregar says she and
her mom will probably
visit the Spencer
Museum of Art during
their tour of Lawrence,
and that they plan to mix
up her usual routine by getting massages and
cooking together. If all goes well, her mom’s
real-life airplane ride to Lawrence will be as
memorable as the pretend-train trips from
Bregar’s childhood. JP
— Climate Change at the Poles
Through May 24, 2009
— A Greenland Glacier: The Scale of
Climate Change Photographs by
Terry Evans
Through May 24, 2009
— A Tradition Redefned: Modern and
Contemporary Chinese Ink Paintings
from the Chu-tsing Li Collection,
Through May 24, 2009
Exhibitions open at the Spencer Museum of Art during spring break:
— Discover the Spencer’s Second
Life® Island
Through Summer 2009
— Reviving the Past: Antiquity &
Antiquarianism in East Asian Art
Through 2010
— Trees & other Ramifcations: Branches in
Nature & Culture
Through May 24, 2009
Source: Emily Ryan, offce manager at the Spencer Museum of Art
14 March 5, 2009
Photo illustration by Megan Weltner
Microwaving plastic containers
Take a whiff: The rumor that deodorants and antiperspirants
can cause cancer is unsubstantiated.
When you microwave food in plastic,
you can sometimes smell or taste the
plastic. You may wonder if the plastic
melted into your food.
Substances used in the plastic can
leach into your food when you heat it in
a plastic container or Styrofoam, says John
Doull, retired professor of pharmacology,
toxicology and therapeutics. However,
it doesn’t mean you will get sick from it.
Doull says the amount of plastic substances
released is far less than what’s considered
harmful. He says scientists don’t have
concrete evidence that microwaving
food in plastic can hurt your body, even
in Styrofoam and containers that are not
labeled “microwave-safe.”
When you heat food in a plastic
container, however, check the label to see
if it’s microwave-safe. If you’re not sure,
use a plate. The container can melt and
potentially burn you. Food should taste better,
too, without a plastic favor.
— Sachiko Miyakawa
Photo illustration by Sachiko Miyakawa
Melting pot: Using the microwave to heat up leftover food
in plastic containers or Styrofoam is harmless to your
Deodorants and antiperspirants get rid
of that heinous smell, but some medical
professionals are questioning whether the
aluminum compounds found in antiperspirants
may be linked to serious health risks.
The National Cancer Institute did fnd
some research suggesting that the aluminum
compounds may be absorbed by the skin in the
armpit and cause estrogen-like effects. Estrogen
promotes the growth of breast cancer cells
and that is why some professionals believe this
aluminum compound may be causing cancer.
However, the researchers are not aware of any
conclusive evidence linking the products’ use
and breast cancer.
The FDA also does not have any evidence
or research data that suggests ingredients
in underarm antiperspirants or deodorants
cause cancer. So though the topic may be a
hot debate among medical professionals, not
much evidence supports the claim that certain
deodorants or antiperspirants cause cancer.
“Honestly, it’s not even anything that is
on the radar screen at this year’s American
Academy of Dermatology Meeting,” says
Barbara Delcore, nurse practioner with
Deodorants and antiperspirants
Kansas City Skin & Cancer Center in Kansas
City, Kansas. “I would say there is no defnitive
literature to support or refute.”
— Megan Weltner
$2 Domestics, Bacardis & Jagerbombs
eet m
e on
the dance floor.
abejakes.com 841-5855 18 to dance. 21 to drink.
Brazilian Carnaval
March 5, 2009
nurture by nature
When brewing jasmine tea, you frst smell
the foral fragrance. When you sip the tea, the
jasmine favor gradually refreshes your mouth.
Jasmine tea is a type of Chinese tea, scented
with jasmine fowers and often made of green
tea. Jasmine tea contains caffeine, antioxidants
and catechin. Catechin retrieved from green
tea increases attention because of its potential
effects in preventing cancer progression, says
Dr. Nagi Kumar, researcher at Mofftt Cancer
Center in Tampa, Florida. She says population
studies show that the risk of prostate cancer
is lower in East Asian countries, where green
tea consumption is high, compared with the
Western world. Her research team looks at
the correlation between the two in a lab.
Jasmine tea can be an alternative to coffee
and soft drinks. Prepare loose leaf tea with an
infuser to brew the tea. Jasmine loose leaf tea
is available at House of Cha, 21 West Ninth
Street, and Teapouro Tea & Espresso, 712
Jasmine tea
Photo illustration by Sachiko Miyakawa
Wake up and smell the tea: Drinking jasmine tea can be
benefcial in lowering the risk of prostate cancer.
Massachusetts Street and The Community
Mercantile, 901 Iowa Street.
— Sachiko Miyakawa
miller light
coors light
buffalo wings (hot or mild)
fried portabella mushrooms
spinach & artichoke dip
cheese quesadilla
sauteed mussels
traditional bruschetta
hamburger sliders
vegetable platter
bacon & cheddar pierogies
(in the Jayhawker only)
March 5, 2009
says ...
Since when must your artwork be confned
to a canvas and paintbrush? Showcase your
modern art skills with your computer and
mouse at www.JacksonPollock.org.
The website is named after the 20th century
American painter who was notorious for
walking on top of and around canvases placed
on the foor, dribbling and splattering paint so
as to create a fanatical array of colors.
As you move your mouse around, “paint”
decorates the white “canvas” that is your
Web browser, thanks to Flash animation. Click
your mouse and get a different, random color.
Spend a few minutes on your masterpiece
and—viola!—your modern art replication is
complete. Press any button when you’re done
to “sign” your piece of art with the website
creator’s name.
And if you are as active an artist as Pollock
was, do your art on-the-go. Follow the link at
www.JacksonPollock.org or search for “Jackson
Pollock” on the iTunes App Store to download
an application for $.99 that allows you to create
your art on your iPhone or iPod Touch. You can
paint with multiple fngers and the paint “drips”
depending on how you are holding your iPhone
or iPod.
— Jessica Sain-Baird
Contributed photo
Make your own masterpiece—here’s mine—at www.JacksonPollock.org. You can even
download the Web site’s application to your iPhone or iPod Touch.
‘Watchmen’ for cheap
I wish some movies had return policies and
I could get a quickie lobotomy and my money
back if I was dissatisfed with my experience.
Average movie ticket prices so far this year
are $7.20, according to www.boxoffcemojo.
com. That makes those dollar-a-day movies at
Redboxes look pretty nice.
This weekend, see a three-day-old movie
for just $3. Watchmen comes out Friday, and
Student Union Activities has rented out
Hollywood Theaters, 3433 Iowa Street, on
Sunday for a special viewing at 12:15 p.m.
You can buy the tickets at the SUA box
offce, level 4 of the Kansas Union, or the day
of the show at the theater. It’s $3 for students
with a KUID, and $6 for everyone else.
Here’s a synopsis courtesy www.imdb.com:
“A group of heroes, forced into retirement a
decade before, are called together once again
to investigate the murder of one of their own.
What they discover an age-old conspiracy to
change the balance of power in a world not
different from our own.”
The movie is directed by Zach Snyder,
who helmed 300 and the recent Dawn of the
Dead remake, so I don’t think an extensive
knowledge of the comic book will be required.
I do expect, though, some amazing visuals and
action. At about 160 minutes, though, I hope
my attention will not wane.
And even if the movie turns out to be a
geek fest, $3 for a new movie won’t be worth
asking for a refund.
— Matt Hirschfeld
See ‘Watchmen’ for super cheap this Sunday at
Hollywood Theaters. The showing is at 12:15 p.m. for
just $3.
Cleaning out your closet? Plato’s Closet buys
and sells quality used clothing! Sell your clothes
now and receive a FREE pair of sunglasses or
a pair of earrings! Hurry, offer ends March 16
while supplies last!
3514 clinton pkwy
Sell your clothes now and get a FREE pair
of sunglasses or a pair of earrings!
*on selected styles only
It’s 2 a.m.
I want food delivered
What’s open?
17 March 5, 2009
By Elliot Kort
Was Harry right ?
Testing whether men and women
can be just friends
“What I’m saying is—and this is not a come
on in any way, shape, or form—is that men and
women can’t be friends because the sex part
always gets in the way.”
Since Billy Crystal spoke that line in When
Harry Met Sally, debate has raged over that
exact question: Can straight women and
straight men actually be friends without any
sexual tension?
From the get-go, men are wired to search
for sex, says Dr. John Gray, author of Men are
from Mars, Women are from Venus. He says men
are subconsciously on the prowl, which could
be the main cause for what contributes to the
conficting goals of men and women.
“If a man’s not sexually involved with
someone, he’s on the hunt for a sexual
partner,” he says.
Sex serves as a stress reliever. On a purely
chemical level, it’s what men need.
“Testosterone is the chemical of desire,”
Gray says. “Men have 30 times the amount as
The chemical reactions going on in women’s
minds are totally different. Gray explains that
a chemical called oxytocin is released in a
woman’s brain as a potential sexual partner
does actions for her that build a bond of trust.
It’s one of the strongest causes of attraction
for women.
“Women discover over time that they’re in
the mood to have a sexual relationship,” Gray
says. These chemical differences don’t outlaw
the possibility of friendship, but it certainly
makes it more challenging.
Just because it’s in chemical makeup,
though, doesn’t mean this trend always takes
hold. For Jackie Wittlinger, Olathe senior, says
she became best friends with a guy after the
two went on a bad date. After realizing they
Some guys aren’t too keen to pick up that their advances are unwanted.
Here are some tips from Dr. John Gray, author of Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus, to help men understand.
1. Be up front: Telling a guy exactly what you expect from
your relationship can help dispel his unrealistic expectations.
Let him know if you’re not looking to date or fnd anything
2. Use precise language: In casual conversation, use
terminology that would suggest you feel about him something
far different than a romantic context. Say he reminds you of
your brother or cousin. That kind of comparison should let him
know you’re off limits.
3. Give him a shot: At the end of the day, it takes women
a lot longer to get a sense of whether someone could be a
potential mate. Give him some time. He might.
weren’t attracted to one another romantically,
she found the two clicked platonically. Now he
flls another important role.
“It’s nice to have someone of the opposite
sex who can offer perspective on things
with my boyfriend,” she says. “Guys are just
Kathy Rose-Mockry knows a thing or two
about the complex challenges facing gender
relations in American society today. As the
program director of the Emily Taylor Women’s
Resource Center, she studies messages sent
out by the media concerning gender roles
and expectations in society. She explains that
the dominance of 1950s stereotypes, such as
husbands being the breadwinners and wives
being homemakers, has done a disservice to
the development of gender equality.
“We still have not achieved a point where
these expectations and those roles are
For the ladies: H e l p i n g h i m t a k e t h e h i n t
eradicated,” Rose-Mockry says.
Also, she says, advertisements on television
that depict women and men as warring parties
do no favors to the possibility of friendship.
However, she’s quick to note, whether these
scenarios depict fact depends entirely on the
receptivity of the audience.
“Students have a great deal of power in
changing norms by choosing to create a new
norm,” Rose-Mockry says.
Aside from the pressures of the outside
world, it’s also hard to maintain friendships
with the opposite sex after getting into a
relationship. Jesse Kangas, Lenexa junior, says
he had diffculty keeping up with his female
friends after he began dating his girlfriend.
For him, it was simply a matter of shifting his
priorities. After all, he notes, “Before (I met my
girlfriend), the female friends I had were very
attractive.” JP
Photo illustration by Ryan Waggoner
Just friends: It can be diffcult for straight men and straight women to not cross the thin line between lovers and friends. Having a platonic
friendship with the opposite sex, though, can be benefcial if you need insight into how the opposite sex generally thinks or feels.
March 5, 2009
I love everything about my girlfriend, but
our sex life is terrible and doesn’t seem
to be getting any better. Is this shallow?
What do I do?
Zach, junior
Carly: If it’s not getting better, it won’t get
better. Sex isn’t the most important factor in a
relationship, but it’s up there. If one partner is
unhappy with the sex, then their unhappiness
will carry over into the rest of the relationship.
It sounds as if you’ve tried to make some
improvements in your sex life without any
satisfactory results. Lack of sex or bad sex is a
common reason for couples to split.
I hate to sound shallow, but it might be in
your, and her, best interests to move on and
fnd someone that you have better sexual
chemistry with. If you dread the prospect of
having sex with your girlfriend because it’s not
good, then you’re going to lose that physical
chemistry. Once that’s gone, I really don’t see
the difference between a couple and a couple
of close friends. You need physical intimacy, and
you need to be happy with it.
Elliot: I agree with Carly that physical intimacy
is of the utmost importance. You’re not being
shallow. But from your question, it’s hard to
tell how much effort either of you have put
into trying to make things better. Of course
your sex life won’t simply get better just
because you want it to. You need to work at
it. Communicate your wants and needs with
her… all of them.
Try new things. Who knows, you might end
up fnding a fetish that brings you two closer
together than ever. And after that, after you’ve
tried everything to make your sex life better,
you both need to ask yourselves how crucial
that part of your relationship is. If each of you
can live with the unsatisfactory sex life and still
be part of a meaningful relationship, then more
power to you. You (and no one else) can decide
where your relationship’s breaking point is.
Have relationship questions or need some advice? E-mail bitchandmoan@kansan.com.
*Bitch and Moan is not to be considered as a substitute for professional help.
I really like my best friend’s girlfriend. I
know he cheats on her and lies to her all
the time. Do I stay loyal to my friend or do
I tell his girlfriend what’s going on?
Dan, senior
Carly: This isn’t a matter of being a friend or
being this girl’s hero—it’s a matter of staying
out of their business. There are a few things
you need to consider. First, think about the
possibility that she may be dishonest, too. Your
feelings for this girl may cloud your judgment
of her. You may not really know her that well
or know what she does when she’s not with
your friend.
Second, you’re being kind of selfsh. I know
that sounds odd because you’re revealing
your friend’s dishonesty, but how concerned
would you be if you weren’t attracted to this
girl? You might give your friend a hard time
about what he’s doing every once in a while,
but your intentions aren’t 100 percent in her
favor. Finally, hearing the news from one of his
buddies won’t give her any incentive to run
into your arms. This could easily backfre on
Elliot: Carly’s right. You’ve got an agenda. That’s
fne, everyone does. Yours is simple: You want
this girl to fall for you. But you need to know
that no matter how much you can claim you’re
only looking out for her best interests, the fact
that you want her factors into your decision. It
taints your decision no matter what.
And there’s no way that I see this ending
well for you. Even if you convince yourself that
telling her is the right decision, she’d probably
be so upset by the revelation that she’d
associate with you directly. Her frst question
would likely be, “How long have you known?”
And then, you’re toast. On top of that, how
many of your friends are you going to anger
by turning on your buddy? Odds are there are
a lot of them. Like Carly said, your best bet is
to stay quiet.
MOVIE: Confessions of a Shopaholic
Confessions of a Shopaholic is not your
typical chick fick. Although the movie centers
around a young woman and young man who
are thrown together under extraordinary
circumstances, the plot, wit and humor take
this chick fick to a whole new level.
Meet Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher).
She’s a vibrant young lady, fve years out of
college, and doesn’t feel the need to hide
her opinions. Her degree is in journalism
and the magazine she doesn’t like working
for just folded. Oh, and one another thing,
she has 12 credit cards. Yes ladies and
gentlemen, Ms. Bloomwood is a shopaholic.
Between her renting an apartment with her
best friend, and hiding her association with
her now-defunct magazine, Rebecca shops.
But that is not the crux of the story. After
all, what is a heroine without aspirations?
Rebecca dreams of working for Allete (kind
of like reality’s Vogue).
Meet Luke Brandon: The hottie with the
accent played impeccably by Hugh Dancy. Mr.
Brandon is the newly appointed editor to a
very boring business magazine. His goal is to
take the magazine above and beyond fnancial
hypocrites who rule Wall Street and love to
hear themselves talk. Under extraordinary
circumstances, which I found to be more
awkward and charming than most, Rebecca
fnds herself employed. Oh, but here’s the
catch. Luke’s magazine is uniquely poised to
jump-start her into the world of Allete.
Among other subplots of her best
friend’s wedding, stalking debt collectors,
talking mannequins, and John Goodman
and Joan Cusack playing Rebecca’s parents,
Confessions of a Shopaholic is a breath of
fresh air.
— Mia Iverson
BOOK: Christopher Moore, Fool
If anyone could turn Shakespeare’s classic
tragedy King Lear into a feel good novel,
it would be Christopher Moore. Moore’s
latest piece of work, which deserves the
double entendre, Fool, revolves around our
instigating protagonist, Pocket, lead fool to
King Lear’s court and on a few lonely nights
King Lear’s conniving daughters, the servant
staff, a religious hermit and his true love. I’ll
warn you, just as the introduction does, that
this is more lewd than prude, and not for
readers with heart murmurs.
Pocket’s Cinderella story incorporates all
the expected characters, while also adding
some the readers might wish were there in
the frst place. With witches borrowed from
Macbeth, a “bloody ghost” courtesy probably
of Hamlet, and allusions to Othello spurring
the dialogue and character development,
readers fnd the best kind of friend in our
“black jester,” honest and fawed, the tiny
fool makes us feel tall not only physically, but
Admittedly, time and place were a
problem in retrospect, but the combination
of linguistic styles, dark humor and timeless
human dilemmas (because we’ve all secretly
wanted to kill a sibling sometime) help
overshadow such concerns. One must admire
the delicate details Moore fts together to
combine the original story line with his tight
wire stretches. The plot balances on the edge
of ridiculousness, but never falls into anything
less than a net of praise.
To quote Moore in his author’s note at
the end of the novel, “I don’t care if that’s
true or not, I thought it was funny.”
— Meghan Nuckolls
For now, the couple talks every day
through Skype, web cams and cell phones, just
as much as most couples do, O’Connor says.
Every three months the two visit each other;
the last visit was in Ireland over Christmas
It must be the luck of the Irish.
January 15, 2009
with Carly Halvorson and Elliot Kort
Lately, I just haven’t been interested
in sex. I’m too tired, stressed out,
insecure and worried about money.
How do I get over this?
Christina, senior
Elliot:To start, let me state the utterly obvi-
ous: It is clear there’s a lot on your mind.That
being said, you’re going to have to face a cold,
hard truth.You can’t always be in the mood,
no matter how much you hope for the op-
posite. If you’re looking to “alter your mood,”
the biggest key is not to force it.Try to do
little things every day that relax you and that
might (hopefully) take your mind off of what-
ever is bugging you.Take time for yourself.
And also, if your current mood fits you, don’t
pressure yourself to change it! Just because
we can get laid all the time doesn’t mean we
need to. And besides, what’s the point of get-
ting all hot and bothered if you don’t want to
be hot and bothered?
Carly: I agree with Elliot–the first and most
important thing you need to do is take care
of yourself.Women are more prone to getting
distracted during sex than men, so having a
lot on your mind can easily rob you of your
libido.Take practical steps to get rid of your
stressors, like creating a budget or doing
some simple workouts at home. Don’t expect
your sex drive to magically appear–just help it
come back. Make your bedroom a “no bum-
mer” zone. Once you get inside, don’t think
about what’s stressing you out. Instead, light
some candles; research shows that cucum-
ber scents can heighten arousal. Have a date
night with your partner that’s accompanied
by some natural aphrodisiacs, like champagne
and chocolate. For the finale, wear something
that makes you feel sexy and put on your
favorite lacy bra.When you look at yourself
in the mirror and think, “Damn, I look good,”
then you’re more likely to want to have sex.
Around the holidays, when I’m
finally home and spending time with
family after months away at school,
everyone is longing to ask me the
same question: ‘…so are you see-
ing anyone?’ Whether I am or not is
irrelevant. If I say ‘yes,’ the game of
20 questions begins and I’m wishing
I could disappear. If I say ‘no,’ the
conversation comes to a screeching
halt and I’m still wishing I could dis-
appear. How can I equip myself to
handle this sticky situation without
disappointing my family and des-
perately wanting to hide under the
Hannah, junior
Elliot: It seems to me that you have to
find a middle ground.You want two things to
happen: First, you want to assure your folks
that their daughter isn’t a shut-in. Second, you
want to avoid an all-out interrogation.The
next time you’re home and your parents start
to ask questions, throw them a curve ball. Say,
“Well, I’ve been seeing someone. But I’m not
sure if there’s much to it, yet, so I don’t want
to blow it out of proportion.” This way, your
parents will feel assured that you’re out there
meeting people. Also, it’s unlikely that they will
dedicate a lot of energy to grilling you with
questions. I mean, honestly, what kind of par-
ents ask when you’re bringing home a special
someone if you’re even hesitant to mention
his name? With any luck, you’ll be out of the
woods until you want to fill them in on more
Carly: I’m a big fan of those interrogations,
actually. I don’t get asked a million questions
about anyone I’m dating anymore, though,
because I relied on my sarcasm instead of
being straightforward. If you really want to
end the interrogations once and for all, just
tell them that you met your new dating buddy
downtown one night after the bars were
closing. He was the rugged backpacker asking
for money on the corner of Mass. Street.You
knew it was fate when he asked to come
home with you so he could use your shower.
Mention that you really wish you could see
him and talk to him more often, but it’s dif-
ficult when he doesn’t have a cell phone, a car,
a bike or however much change is required to
make a call on a pay phone. Say all of this with
a straight face, and you should be okay. I used
this story two years ago, and since then my
holidays are much less intrusive.
I made a resolution this year to walk
out of my father’s life. I’ve always
known that my lack of relationship
with him is a principal factor in why
I run from every romantic relation-
ship I’ve ever known. How do I start
Jodie, junior
Elliot: One of my personal credos is that
every person has to live on his or her terms.
If you’re really going to start over, you need to
keep this in mind from the get-go. Let it be-
come your mantra. If you need to walk out of
your father’s life to have a healthy one of your
own, then that is what you must do.With
regards to starting over with other relation-
ships, I’d say you need to be constantly aware
of your own state of mind. Know when your
impulses and instincts are being thrown off by
something, some past baggage that’s still hold-
ing you down. In time, you’ll probably manage
to let go of it all. But if not, by being conscious
of everything going on in your head, at least
you’ll be mindful enough to keep it all from
hurting you any longer. Do everything on your
terms, and you should be just fine.
Carly: A lot of girls have that one male
figure in their lives that looms ominously
over every new relationship. For some, it’s
an ex. For others–like you–it’s their fathers.
This is especially tricky, because it is often
said that girls seek out men who are similar
to their fathers. It’s important that you learn
to separate his qualities from any prospect
you may have.You can’t help getting caught up
in that fear that your new partner is going to
turn out like your father, but once you do feel
that fear, do something about it. Have a close
friend sit down with you so you can distance
your issues with your father from this new
relationship. Don’t linger on the hypothetical,
“What if he … ?” because those situations
simply reinforce your feelings and give you
justification for walking away. It won’t be easy,
but with a good support system to pick you
back up, it’s doable.
Have relationship questions or need some
advice? E-mail bitchandmoan@kansan.com.
*Bitch and Moan is not to be considered as a substitute
for professional help.
It was more than luck that Maddie
O’Connor and Bill Murphy met in Ireland
just about a year ago on O’Connor’s study
abroad semester.
The local pub, the Old Oak, set the
scene for the Irish couple. O’Connor says
Murphy roped her in with his Irish accent.
O’Connor and Murphy, both juniors at the
time, laughed off the cultural differences by
examining Murphy’s pronunciations and his
use of slang terms.
Kansas City native and senior
O’Connor considers herself Irish because
of her great ancestors, but Murphy tells
her otherwise. Having Irish ancestors
doesn’t make you Irish per se, but who’s
really checking, Murphy tells her.
Both families have welcomed the idea
of a long distant relationship and are happy
for the couple, but the logistics of what
would happen if the two were to marry
scares them: Who would live where? How
do you get a visa?
How We Met
—Stephanie Schneider
Contributed photo
March 5, 2009
I was there
By Elliot Kort
Setting the stage for watching
President Obama’s inauguration
Contributed photos
Top: Elliot Kort stands with friends Elyse Greenberg and
Joellen Kriss in front of the Washington Monument.
Second to top: Spectators wave fags as the proceedings get
Second to bottom: Kort stands in front of a mobile MSNBC
television studio set up on the national mall.
Bottom: The crowd exits the mall after the festivities conclude.
I shifted my weight from side to side. Left,
right. Left, right. I turned to my girlfriend.
“Can you feel your feet?” she asked.
“I think so,” I said.
Standing for six hours straight in 30-degree
temperatures wreaks havoc on the body.
Underneath fve layers of clothing, my rib
cage constricted. Had I stumbled, I would
not have fallen. We were hundreds of yards
away from the Capitol, but children still sat
on their parents’ shoulders. Gray-haired men
and women cocooned in fur coats. Propped
up by canes, they craned their necks trying to
get a better view. American fags of all sizes
waved. History was on every person’s mind
and tongue. Standing there in the numbing
cold, I realized that my perspective regarding
the world was changing for a second time. This
man, whom I did not know of six years ago, had
changed my world.
The frst change came much earlier. Five
years ago, deep into the 2004 presidential
campaign, I was trying (in vain) to enthuse
myself about yet another Democratic
presidential candidate. Then, during 2004’s
Democratic Convention, a relatively young
man—a state senator from Illinois—walked
up to the microphone in Boston. He made me
believe that we could be better than we were,
and that we could give our children a world of
near infnite opportunity. My heart rose in my
chest, and I knew one day I would cast my vote
for him as president. Months later, I needed to
see him sworn in.
Getting off the train at D.C.’s Union Station
a week before the inauguration was unlike
anything I had ever experienced. The entirety of
the nation’s capital had been transformed into
Obamatown, USA. His face was everywhere: all
over buttons, T-shirts, hats and scarves being
sold on every street corner. Advertisers such
as IKEA and Pepsi informed everyone that
change and hope were as close as their nearest
products. An electricity ran throughout the city
and only grew as days ticked off the calendar
toward January 20.
People walked the streets quietly,
anticipating what was to come. As I sat in front
of the windows at a restaurant two days before
the inauguration, I saw thousands of out-of-
towners walking around aimlessly with different
groups. Obama’s name or face was stitched,
painted or bedazzled on every visible bit of
clothing. Metro escalators were overrun with
people who didn’t know to walk on the left and
stand on the right. People were everywhere. I
had attempted to comprehend the scope of
how many people would be in the city for the
event. But even seeing the city’s population
grow exponentially in the days leading up to
the event, I could not prepare myself for what
was to come.
The morning of the inauguration, the city
woke early. An estimated two million people
were to descend on the National Mall. Taking
a packed 6 a.m. bus into the heart of D.C. with
my girlfriend and her roommate, I couldn’t help
laughing. I was experiencing a perfect metaphor.
That morning, in the last waking hours of the
Bush administration, we walked through the
empty streets of D.C. in the frigid dark. But as
we arrived on the Mall, with almost cinematic
timing, the sun began to rise over the Capitol. A
warm wave washed over me. Our moment as
a generation, my moment as an American adult,
had fnally arrived.
Pushing down closer, immersing ourselves in
the crowd, I was struck not only by its candor
but also its composition. People of countless
ages, races and economic backgrounds had
come together to witness the moment as one.
Older women stood around me with their
canes and fur coats. They seemed to summon
every ounce of their strength to endure the
cold, to be there, to bear witness. Black families
huddled close together, urging their children to
pay as close attention as possible. They wanted
their kids to remember the day as vividly as
possible. Certainly this was not the frst time
such a group had gathered to support the ideas
of hope and change. But to stand there, my
body almost crushed up against other bodies,
and to look out and see nothing but millions
of optimistic and ecstatic faces, left me utterly
stunned. Standing near the American History
Smithsonian, it felt as if we were miles away
from the stage. But just to be there was
enough for us.
As six hours slowly passed and the
ceremonies grew near, the crowd began to
thaw under the warmth of excitement until,
at last, a presidential motorcade appeared on
each of the JumboTrons placed throughout
the Mall. An enormous cheer sounded
through the crowd. It rushed from the
Capitol back to the Washington Monument
and the Lincoln Memorial, a magnanimous
wave of sound. It was unlike anything I’d ever
heard, and was surpassed only when the
president-elect himself stepped onto the dais.
As Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens
stood to swear in the new vice president, an
eerie calm descended on the crowd. It was
so quiet I could hear the echoes of the other
speakers sounding throughout the mall. After
Vice President Biden fnished his oath, the
crowd cheered. One woman standing close
to me even yelled, “One down. One to go.”
Then the moment we were all waiting
As Obama strode toward the podium
and his place in history, I glanced around and
considered all the stories represented by the
people I saw, all the journeys taken from near
and far to make it to that exact moment.
For months, I’d come to believe that Obama
was the youth’s candidate. He was to be our
guiding light in the world of politics—our
John F. Kennedy. But standing there among so
many different people, it all became suddenly
clear: He belongs to all of us. JP
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