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ETA HIRITARREN SAILA AREA DE IGUALDAD, COOPERACION Y CIUDADANIA

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PRESENTATION
The DEPARTMENT EQUALITY,COOPERATION CITIZENSHIPat BILBAO COUNCILwould OF AND like to present this GUIDE FORWOMEN.The aim is to inform and raise awareness about important issues such as sexual health and how to prevent women from becoming victims of violence at the hands of their partner. This guide has been compiled through a series of meetings held for women as part of the WOMEN,HEALTHAND VIOLENCEprogramme, first launched in November 2008. The women responsible for running these events, as health agents, have carried out an important task raising awareness about such issues and reaching out to women of different origins and from different walks of life. In this guide, we will introduce the concept and experience of love for women, an essential subject for us and closely linked to our experiences of sexuality and partner relations. We will talk about some of the keys to understanding why women sometimes behave in a way that puts us and our health at risk. Therefore, we cannot neglect the myths and beliefs that shape the thoughts of many women and men regarding partner relations. All of this is very closely linked to the gender role assigned and the identity of belonging to a specific culture or society. When we talk about Health, we must talk about the Body, and the importance of knowing and taking care of our body. In this guide, we tackle this issue and the importance of managing our health so that, if one day we decide to become mothers, we can do so under the best conditions and when we have chosen to. Forthis reason, several sections deal with the different methods of contraception available to us. In the final section, we talk about violence. The violence that occurs through relationships that subordinate women to men. We wanted to be very clear about how we should act in these situations. In relation to the subjects of sexuality and violence, prejudicial statements are often made on the basis of erroneous beliefs. Wewanted to mention a few of them and respond to them. At the end, we offer a list of Useful Services and Places for any women who might need them. We hope you enjoy this guide and find it useful. Oihane Agirregoitia Martinez
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We would particularly like to thank the health agents who have taken part in the Awareness Programme: • • • • • • • • • • • • • Yuliana Calvo, (for her involvement) Lucie Valentine Gnonlonfoun (for her involvement). Maria Elena Uyuli Bartolome, and Roxana Prado (for their communicative skills in the talks). Wilma Camacho, Adriana Sanchez, Ruth Salazar (for their ability to get people involved). Marta Eugenia Fernandez(for her contributions artistically and in terms of contents), Maria Teresa Alvarez (for compiling myths). Nilse Benitez and Nancy Penayo (for their ability to get people involved). Yeli Brigitte Nagbe and Rosario Garcia, (for their interest and involvement). Fang Xiao and Jing Wei Xiang (kuku) (for their involvement). Sumaya del Peral, Jamila Lopez (for their contribution as Muslim women). Henriette Yessibo, Fatima Djarra (for being the first to organise awareness activities). Saioa Luque, (for reaching out to younger women) Nilda Diarte and Rina Rosario Rocha (for their involvement). Clementine Baza (for her interest). Encarni Fernandez, Eliene Martin Do Santos (for being interested in the programme). Kenia Gonzales, Yobeida Carolina, Diana Perez, Marina Vidal, Nana Anete (for taking part in the training sessions).

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Special thanks go to Belen Bilbao and Ana Fernandez from MODULOAUZOLAN for their professional guidance and their involvement in the programme. Special thanks to TAS-TAS IRRATI LlBREA for collaborating with awareness sections. Our thanks also go to Irati Fernandez Pujana (Thesis: The Myth of romantic love as a risk factor in partner gender violence). We would also like to thank all the Associations that have shown an interest in taking part: MUJERESDEL MUNDO-BABEL, CENTRODE ESTUDIOSCHINOS, POSADADE LOSABRAZOS, ASOCOLVAS,ANGIROAPYTEPE,SARTU, SUSTERRA,GALARAZI,ASOCIACI6N BIDAYA, CEAREUSKADI,.. . And we must not forget all the women who have shown their interest in taking part and collaborating with the Programme. MANYTHANKSTOALL OFYOU

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CONTENTS
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What is Love? Peoplecan't talk about lovewithout... Myths of Romantic Love Consequencesof the Myths of Love ..

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:1: ... 5. 6. 7. B. 9. Let's talk about sexuality Getting to know our body FemaIe genitalia Wedecide howto use our body Let's talk about contraception 9 .9 10 11 12 18 19

10. A few recommendations 11. Respondingto Myths

12. Defining violence 13. The circle of violence 14. Causesof violence 15. Manifestations of violence 16. Most common consequencesof violence 17. Respondingto false beliefs

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lB. Indicators to detect whether we are the victims of violence at
the hands of our partners 19. What you should do... 20. Important Issues 21. Useful numbers and places to guarantee the rights of women

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Loveis a Universal concept; any of us can feel and talk about love because we have all experienced its presence or absence in one way or another. The experience of love, historically, has also undergone changes. Love is a changing social and cultural construction. It has different meanings for different social groups and cultures.

We all need to love and be loved, to communicate emotionally, to be acknowledged, valued and create a bond with someoneor something. It does not necessarily have to be a partner.

The way in which we love and experience love tends to be different because we begin with two subcultures, female and male, which imply different values and roles.

Love must be viewed as a set of feelings, but also of thoughts. In love we feel, but we must also reason. The balance between these two parts, between the emotional and rational part, is fundamental for the development of a healthy and equal loving relationship.

PEOPLE CANl TALK ABOUT LOVE WITHOUT: LOVING OURSELVES
• Wecould start bycarrying out little everyday actions to take care of ourselves and treat ourselves: listen to a song we like, read a book, massage our tired feet, etc. In other words, dedicate a little time to ourselves. • At the risk of being labelled selfish, women often ignore our own body, our own needs, not knowing how to treat ourselves right, or respect ourselves. In other words, we do not love ourselves.

KNOWING HOW TO GIVE AND RECEIVE LOVE FROM OTHERS
• Loving and respecting ourselves helps us to love and respect others.

• Peoplewith low self-esteem do not believe it when others love them, and are always expecting to be left by the other person, since they do not consider themselves to be valuable people. • Our inner perception of ourselves seeps out in external manifestations, as if we are wearing a sign around our neckssaying "I DESERVE" "I DON'T DESERVE". • When we find ourselves in this situation, it is very easy to create dependencies on anyone who offers us love and attention, even though they only offer it in very small doses and even alternate it with violent conduct.

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MYTHS OF ROMANTIC LOVE
Myths are socially shared beliefs. Theyare often created out of ignorance or prejudice towards a subject. Theycan never be scientifically proven. Theyare deceitful and irrational. All Cultures incorporate a series of myths and beliefs. Different studies show that the various myths about the kind of romantic love that is most strongly felt in western societies legitimate unequal and abusive relations between women and men, and can even draw a veil over certain indicators of psychological violence (Vazquez, Estsbanez and Cantera).

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We are now going to look at some of the most frequent Myths in relation to love, bearing in mind that there are many more besides: • THEMYTHOFTHE 'OTHERHALF': This is based on the belief that two incomplete beings are destined to find their other half, which will complete them. This belief has caused many women to feel like half people, incomplete beings destined to search for their other half in a partner, whom they are destined to be with and who is the only or best option for a life partner. • THE MYTHOFJEALOUSY: his is when we mistakenly think that jealousy is a true sign of T love. This belief can be used to justify certain abusive behaviour. Jealousy is covert violence, which aims to control in order to subordinate and not to love. • THE MYTHOF ETERNALPASSION:When we mistakenly think that the initial passion of a relationship never runs out and lasts for all eternity. This can lead to disappointment and frustration. • THE MYTHOF COUPLING:This is the belief that the couple is natural and universal. It is a social norm. Conflict arises in relation to conduct that diverges from this norm.

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• THE MYTH OF GUILT: This relates to the thought that when a relationship comes to an end, it's your fault. Believing that you are what has gone wrong in the relationship. • THE MYTH OF FREE WILL: This is when we think that we have no kind of control over our own feelings, turning love into something that is beyond our control and our will. The negative consequence is that women think that they do not choosetheir partner. Fate does it for them. • THE MYTH OF SACRIFICE: This is when we internalise the concept that love means giving up many of your aspirations, opinions and life projects for the sake of your partner. The perverse outcome of this myth is that it provokes a relationship of dependency on your partner, who is placed in a situation of dominance. • THE MYTH OF GENDER ROLES: This is the belief based on the notion that, in order for a partner relationship to be perfect, the behaviours typically assigned by men to women must be maintained. From the concept that the man must take the initiative at the start of a relationship and that the role of the woman in the couple must be passive. Women and men will be obliged to playa specific role in the partner relationship, which causes the woman to be placed in a situation of subordination to the man. • THE MYTH OF SUFFERING: This involves thinking that the more obstacles and problems there are in a relationship the more beautiful and authentic that relationship is. The consequence of this myth is that women believe popular sayings such as LOVEHURTSand YOUALWAYSHURTTHEONEYOULOVE. Pain becomes an important element of love since, in order to learn how to love, we must learn to suffer. • THE MYTH OF CONTROL: This is when we mistakenly think that the moreour partner controls us, the more he loves us. Forthis reason,we put up with abusive, possessiveand controlling behaviours. Our personal and cultural experience of love guides and shapes our couplings, so it is important to remember that coupling strategies also differ depending on the sociocultural context.

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CONSEQUENCES OF THE MYTHS OF LOVE
The myths surrounding love have a particularly strong influence on women becauseof differential socialisation, making them believe that: "The other" gives meaning to their lives, Thebreak-up of a relationship represents absolute failure, Since "love can cope with everything"they must be able to cope with any difficulty and even end up thinking that violence and love are compatible, Jealousy is a sign of love, etc.

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And women, as the ones responsible for guaranteeing emotional relations and care giving, end up neglecting our own bodies and health. The unconditional dedication promoted by romantic love leads us to put up with many things for the sake of love. A woman's capacity to 'stick with it' often leads to relationships of oppression and the naturalisation of inequality in amorous relationships. Excessive hope and expectation in love means that many women are blind when it comes to situations with apparent displays of love but which are really situations of abuse and inequality: control, jealousy, putting your love to the test, pressure to have sex, criticism, etc. Ultimately, the model of dominant love takes our freedom from us and blinds us to situations of violence within the partner relationship, which has serious consequences for the health of women.

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The World Health Organization defines human sexuality as follows: "Sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, ethical, legal, historical, religious and spiritual factors. " So, human sexuality might or might not be linked to reproduction. Therefore, it is important to talk about family planning when it comes to having children so that this becomes a chosen option rather than something imposed upon us. So let's talk about contraception.

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KNOWING OUR BODY
• SELF-EXAMINATIONS: Wecan start by looking at and touching our own naked bodyto listen to the sensations and changes we feel, and gain information from it. • We must know our own body in order to keep a check on it and prevent any problems. • If we are going to engage in sexual relations, it is very important to think about sexually transmitted diseases and use the most suitable form of contraception for our individual needs. To do this, WE MUST MAKE REGULAR APPOINTMENTS WITH THE GYNAECOLOGIST.

"WE MUST MAKE SURE WE KNOW OUR OWN BODY WELL"

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MORPHOLOGY

OF FEMALE GENITALIA

• MONSPUBIS: This is a little padded area of skin and fatty tissue covered with hair that protects the genital organs. • CLITORIS: This is a bundle of nerve endings in the last third (the outer section) of the vagina. When a woman is sexually aroused, this organ swells and becomes more sensitive. The clitoris provides pleasure during sexual relations. • URETHRALORIFICE:This is the orifice through which urine comes out. • VAGINALOPENING:This is the orifice that links the vagina to the outside. The vagina is a 'virtual' cavity in the shape of a tube. 'Virtual' because the walls of this tube are close together, joined together, and are highly elastic in order to receive the penis and create the birthing canal through which the baby emergesat birth, byforming an internal communication with the cervix. The vagina has a profusion of nerve endings, making it highly sensitive, in the outermost section, approximately 2 to 3 cm. The rest of the 'tube' has no nerve endings. • LABIA MAJORAAND MENORA:these surround the vaginal opening. • ANALORIFICE:This is the orifice through which the intestine is evacuated.

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VAGINAL OPENING

ANAL ORIFICE

URETHRAL ORIFICE 1. LABIA MAJORA 2. CLITORIS 3. LABIA MENORA 4. URETHRALOPENING 5. VAGINALOPENING 6. BARTHOLIN'SGLANDS 7. HYMEN

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Self-examination helps us to lose our fears about our body and its reactions, and to break the Myths and Taboos about our genital organs. These have caused many women to be ignorant about their own bodies. We must remember that our body is a source of PLEASURE. s we get to know our body better, A we will enjoy it to a greater degree and we shall know how to exercise this right, either alone or in company.

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LET'S UNDERSTAND
Knowing our Body Helps us to feel Pleasure To feel good about ourselves To get rid of our complexes and ACCEPTUSjust the way we are with our own beauty To Gain Personal Confidence Sothat each person can create a new way of experiencing love Everywoman, every human being, experiences and enjoys sexuality in a different, unique and unrepeatable way. When it comes to sexuality, we are not obliged to experiment with everything, but that does not prevent us from ACCEPTINGit as an option for other people. RESPECT FOR THE OTHER PERSON IS FUNDAMENTAL WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXERCISE OUR OWN SEXUALITY

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LET'S TALK ABOUT CONTRACEPTION
People have known about ways to avoid pregnancy since Antiquity. In Ancient Egypt, they already knew how to prevent pregnancy and various different methods have been used over the years up to the present day, when safe and effective measures have been developed. In the 21st Century, modern methods allow us to choose the best time to have children if we want them, and also enjoy our sexuality with a partner without being worried about getting pregnant when it might not be the right time. So let's talk about some of the methods available to us today:

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BARRIER METHODS
THE MALE CONTRACEPTIVE / CONDOM WHAT IS IT AND HOW IS IT USED? It is a very thin latex sheath placed on the erect penis during intercourse,which retains the semen. It must be put on at the start of sexual intercourse. Squeezethe tip (deposit) of the condom together and unroll it down the erect penis right to the base. Make sure the deposit is left free and without any air in it in order to retain the semen without splitting. After intercourse, remove the condom before the penis loses its erection, holding it firmly by the base to make sure it does not come off in the vagina. ADVANTAGES: • • • • Easyto buy/acquire. Easyto put on. They have an effectiveness of between 86 and 97%. It is the only contraceptive method, together with the female condom, that is effective in the prevention of HIV/AIDSand SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES.

• It does not require medical check-ups. DISADVANTAGES: • The method fails if the condom splits. • It can interfere in the spontaneity of sexual relations.

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THE FEMALE CONDOM WHAT IS IT AND HOW IS IT USED? It is a transparent plastic bag, with two rings on the ends, which adapts to the walls of the vagina and retains the ejaculated semen. It must be inserted at the start of intercourse. Insert it into the vagina, holding on to the ring from the outside of the condom. Insert your finger inside the condom to finish positioning it, leaving the external ring outside. After intercourse, twist the external ring around a couple of times so the semen does not come out and remove it. ADVANTAGES: • Youcan use it yourself and control your barrier contraceptive. • It protects you from AIDSand other Sexually Transmitted Diseases. DISADVANTAGES: • It can be noisy and interfere in sexual relations. • It can be fairly indiscreet.

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THE DIAPHRAGM WHAT IS IT? This is a circular cap made from rubber or very flexible latex that is placed at the back of the vagina, completely covering the cervix. It forms a barrier that prevents sperm from entering the uterus. HOW TO USE IT: Healthcare professionals will tell you which size you needand show you howto put one in. It must be used with spermicidal cream, which should be spread over the two sides and on the edges of the diaphragm. Once in position, you must check that the cervix is completely covered. It must be put in position before intercourse and must not be removed until 6 to 8 hours have passed. If you have intercourse several times in a row, you do not have to remove it but rather apply the spermicidal cream directly into the vagina.

ADVANTAGES: • You can use it yourself and control your barrier contraceptive. DISADVANTAGES: • It doesnot protectyoufrom AIDSand other Sexually Transmitted Diseases. People often cannot be bothered to use it.

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HORMONAL METHODS
THE COMBINED PILL This is a pill made up of 2 hormones (oestrogen and progesterone)that are highly similarto those produced by the female body,thereby preventing ovulation. There are different kinds of contraceptive pills. Your doctor will recommended the most suitable pill for you and will advise whether this method is the best in your case. Depending on the type of pill, you must follow different guidelines: 21 pills: You take 1 pill a day for 21 days and take a break for 7 days. 22 pills: You take 1 pill a day for 22 days and break for 6 days. 28 pills: You take 1 pill a day for 28 days without taking a break. ADVANTAGES: • If used properly, it is practically 100% effective. • It can reduce menstrual pain and regulate your cycle. • It does not interfere with sexual relations. DISADVANTAGES: • • • • • You have to take it every day at the same time, whether you have sexual relations or not. The effectiveness can be reduced if you vomit or have diarrhoea. You must attend the follow-on check-ups scheduled with your doctor. It does not protect you from AIDSand other Sexually Transmitted Diseases. It can create an intolerance and have other side effects. Check with your doctor.

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THE MINI PILL It is a pill that contains one hormone: progesterone,which prevents ovulation. You must take it every day, without a break. ADVANTAGES: • It is the only pill that can be taken by women when breastfeeding. • The same as the combined pill. DISADVANTAGES: • Your period may be more variable. • The same as the combined pill.

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SUBDERMAL IMPLANT These are 1 or 2 small flexible plastic rods placed underthe skin onthe arm (at the top). The implant releases very low doses of a hormone (progesterone). It lasts from 3 to 5 years, depending on the product. HOW IS IT USED? Your doctor will insert the implant into the upper part of your arm. After a period of 3 to 5 years, it is removed and replaced with a new one. It can be removed at any time. ADVANTAGES: • It can be used when breastfeeding. DISADVANTAGES: • Your period could become more variable. • Your doctor must insert and remove the implant. • It costs around 160 €. • The 2 rod version is financed (Ask your doctor).

HORMONAL CONTRACEPTIVE INJECTIONS There are two forms, one monthly and another quarterly. The monthly injection is a combined contraceptive since it contains two hormones (oestrogen and gestagen) and so acts in a similar way to the pill. The quarterly injection contains a single hormone (gestagen) and so acts in a similar way to the mini pill. These are very effective methods but, as with the other hormonal methods, medical advice should be sought to assess whether they are suitable for each individual or not.

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CONTRACEPTIVE RING This is a soft, transparent, flexible plastic ring inserted in the vagina. It contains hormones similar to those found in the contraceptive pill. Small pores in the ring release the drug, which is absorbed by the vaginal mucous. The side effects and effectiveness are the same as those of the pill. HOW IS IT USED? ADVANTAGES: It is inserted into the vagina, like a tampon, 57 days after the start of your cycle (remember that your cycle starts on the first day of your period and finishes on the day before the start of the next one) Leavethe ring in for 21 days; after this time, the ring is removed, take a break for 7 days for menstruation, and then insert a new one. • Ease and comfort. Only once a month. The same as the combined pill. DISADVANTAGES: • The same as the combined pill. It does not protect you from AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

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CONTRACEPTIVE PATCH This is a patch applied to the skin in the area around the buttocks, stomach, arm or back. The patch releases hormones that are absorbed through the skin and prevent ovulation. HOW IS IT USED? Useone patch for 1 week. Following one week of usage, remove the old patch and put on a new one in a different area of skin. The same action is repeated for 3 weeks in a row. In the 4th week, removethe patch and take a break for 7 days for menstruation. It must be applied to clean and dry skin. You have to check every day to make sure it is properly positioned. ADVANTAGES: • The same as the combined pill, although if youvomit or havediarrhoea it is still effective.

DISADVANTAGES: • The same as the combined pill although it is less discreet. It does not protect you from AIDSor other SexuallyTransmitted Diseases.

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INTERUTERINE DEVICE (IOU) The IDU is a plastic device that might contain a copper thread or hormones, depending on the kind of IDU used. It is T-shaped or looks like an anchor, to adapt to the uterine cavity. The copper IDU makes it difficult for sperm to move through to the uterus, thereby avoiding fertilisation. The IDU with hormones gradually releases progestogen and decreases the flow of your monthly period. It is effective between3 and 5 years. HOW IT IS FITTED? Your gynaecologist will fit the device, preferably during your period, so that the cervix is at its widest and they can rule out the possibility of pregnancy. ADVANTAGES: • Highly effective. • You don't have to remember to do anything. • It might be expelled spontaneously. • A doctor must insert and remove the device. • It can cause heavy and painful periods. • Not suitable if you have an allergy to copper, and can have other side effects. • • Irregular periods. It does not protect you from AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

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OTHER METHODS
VASECTOMY This is a minor surgical procedure using local anaesthetic, which involves severing the two vasa deferentia in order to prevent sperm from being released during ejaculation. It does not require hospitalisation or a general anaesthetic, so the risks are small. Its effectiveness is close to 100%.
BEFORE

AFTER

TUBAL LIGATION
AFTER

What happens after the vasectomy? This procedure does not affect the man's sexual capacity, so sexual relations will continue just the same as before, without modifying sexual desire or the ejaculation process whatsoever.

This is a simple surgical procedure,but does carry the risks of surgery and a general anaesthetic; in this procedure,the Fallopian tubes are severed and/or tied, thereby preventing the egg from descending from the ovary into the uterus. It is an irreversible method. Its effectiveness is close to 100%.

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IN EMERGENCIES ONLY
THE MORNING AFTER PILL It must not be taken regularly. This should only be used when the contraceptive method used fails. For example, if the condom splits or if you have been sexually assaulted, among other circumstances. HOW IS IT USED? You have to take it within 72 hours following unprotected intercourse. The sooner you take it the more effective it will be. Ideally you should take it within 24 hours. It must be prescribed or given by a medical professional. ADVANTAGES: • It avoids 85% of possible pregnancies. It is important to point out that ITIS NOTA METHOD OFABORTION. DISADVANTAGES: • It is much less effective than other methods. • It does not prevent AIDS or sexually transmitted diseases. IT IS CURRENTLYGIVEN FREE OF CHARGE AND WITHOUTA PRESCRIPTION HEALTH AT CENTRES ('AMBULATORIOS'), FAMILY PLANNING CLINICS,ANDBYSEPTEMBER, THIS PILL MIGHT BE AVAILABLEIN PHARMACIES (ALTHOUGH ITWILL NOTBE FREE).

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A FEW RECOMMENDATIONS
Don't be embarrassed. Explain how you feel to your doctor and ask for advice about what is worrying you. It is important to visit your doctor as soon as possible if anything is bothering you. The contraceptive pill, if used properly,will prevent pregnancy. Condoms are the only method that prevents AIDS. Visit your medical centre if you have a health problem. If the pain is unbearable, go to accident and emergency. The piII does not protect you from any sexually transmitted diseases. Before using a method other than a condom, make sure your partner is not HIV positive. You can take the test free of charge at your local medical drop-in centre (ambulatorio) or at a pharmacy.

Taking the pill does not prevent AIDS.

There are many methods of contraception. Choose the one the best suits you. Visit your gynaecologist at the medical drop-in centre or your nearest family planning clinic.

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There are many myths and false beliefs about sex and sexuality that confuse us and lead us to engage in high-risk practices that threaten our health. ABOUTPERIODS/ MENSTRUATION: Is it normal to have large blood clots during my monthly period? • Large blood clots mean that the period is very heavy. If your period lasts for a long time and is very heavy, it can cause anaemia. You must check with your doctor to find out why and try to reduce the level of bleeding. • It is common to think that light periods are bad, but in actual fact, it is much more damaging to bleed a lot because it weakens your body. Does showering and washing your hair cut your period short? Is this a bad thing? • It's neither good or bad. It has no effect whatsoever.

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Does taking Alka-Seltzer with warm water on an empty stomach bring your period on if it is late? • No. All it does it dehydrate you. And if you are pregnant, it will not terminate the pregnancy, but could cause damage to the foetus.

ABOUTHIV/AIDS: Can I get AIDS by kissing if I have a cut Dr wound in my mouth Dr if I get semen in my mouth? • This question is referring to oral sex. In this case, it is possible, although the risk is lower than with vaginal or anal penetration. It is important to know your status regarding AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases before having any kind of sexual relation. You can engage in all kinds of practices, but always using prevention methods (male and female condom) • Three bodily fluids can transmit the AIDSvirus: BLOOD,SEMENand VAGINALSECRETIONS. • Tears, saliva, sweat, urine and faeces do not transmit the AIDSvirus. • Remember:you can't catch HIV/AIDSthrough kissing.

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ABOUTPLEASURE: Is masturbation only for adolescents? • No.When we talk about masturbation, we are talking about stimulating the genital organs in order to achieve sexual pleasure. You can do this at any age. It is important for everyone to get to know their bodies this way. So when we have sexual relations, we can show our partners which parts of our body give us greatest pleasure. How long does an orgasm last? • The orgasm is one of the final stages of the human sexual response. During orgasms, your pulse and breathing will reach their maximum frequency and intensity, there is strong muscular tension and contractions in the anal-genital area. In women, orgasm can occur in the clitoris and the vagina, and in men in the penis and the prostate. It lasts a few seconds and they can vary in terms of number, duration and intensity from one sexual encounter to another. This stage culminates in men with ejaculation (expelling semen from the penis) and women can experience a liquid ejaculation (clear or milky liquid expelled through the urethra ). This seems to be linked to the G Spot (genital area located behind the pubic bone and around the urethra). ABOUTSEX EDUCATION: Does Sex Education encourage adolescents to have sexual relations earlier? • According to the WHO,Sex Education does not lead to increased or earlier sexual activity. On the contrary, it can educate young people to postpone having sexual relations and can also increase the use of contraceptives.

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ABOUT METHODS OF CONTRACEPTION: Is wearing two condoms safer than wearing just one? • Quite the contrary. There is a greater risk of the condom splitting due to friction and rubbing between the two. Is the withdrawal or rhythm method an effective way of preventing pregnancy? • It is not effective. In fact, this method is ineffective up to 50% of the time. There is the "set days" method, which involves not having unprotected intercourse between the 8th and 19th days of your menstrual cycle. The menstrual cycle starts on the first day of your period and finishes on the first day of your next period, and can vary from 26 to 32 days. The WHO rates this method as 95% effective, but YOUMUSTUSEIT VERYCAREFULLY. ABOUT GENITAL HYGIENE: We should wash these areas with water and neutral soap. Never use perfumes, which can cause infection. Is the vaginal douche, washing with soap or products sold in the pharmacy an effective way of preventing pregnancy? • No. It is completely ineffective.

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DEFINING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
Nowadays, a wide range of concepts are used to refer to the different kinds of violence aimed against women because of their gender. To avoid terminological confusion, at EMAKUNDEwe prefer to talk about VIOLENCEAGAINSTWOMEN.The definition is provided in Act 412005 of 18th February regarding Equality of Women and Men: Violenceagainst women is considered to be any violent act committed on the grounds of gender that causes or could cause physical, sexual or psychological damage, or the suffering of women, including threats to carry out acts, coercion, or the arbitrary deprivation of liberty, which occur in public or private life. Violence within the partner relationship, expressed in any of its forms, is a CRIME and must be reported. However,various studies confirm that women wait on average 7 to 10 years before reporting this abuse. In 1980, the United Nations admitted that violence against women is the most common covert crime in the world.

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THE CIRCLE OF VIOLENCE
When it occurs suddenly, violence manifests in a circular process, more or less in the same order. Aggression Stage • Some kind of abuse or mistreatment occurs. • Physical, sexual or psychological-emotional. Regret and Reconciliation Stage • The aggressor begs forgiveness. • The victim forgives. Tension Stage • The arguments begin. • In the family or home setting, tension surfaces once again.

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THE CIRCLE OFVIOLENCE • THE INTENSITYINCREASES • THE LENGTHOFTIME BETWEENSTAGESDECREASES

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We must understand the complexity of situations of violence and know that, on many occasions, relations with the aggressor are maintained because the person who attacks you is the same person who displays signs of affection towards you. The internalisation of Myths, situations of dependency, the subtleness of expressions of violence, are some of the reasons that partner relations do not break up.

THERE ARE DIFFERENT THEORIES THAT EXPLAIN THE ORIGINS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Of all these theories, we would like to highlight the notion that the true underlying cause, the origin of the criminal act, is sociocultural in nature, as this is the only theory that shows violence as the result of a structural problem that affects the whole system: the inequality between women and men. Gender violence is understood as the most extreme, exaggerated and perverseconsequenceof political, economic, social and cultural inequality betweenwomen and men. It is the result of a gender problem, of an inequality of powers, which prioritises, overestimates, gives visibility and confers prestige and privileges to one of the genders, the male gender, to the detriment of the female gender, in other words, to half of the world's population. This theory explains that violence emergesfrom a relationship as the consequence of an entire process in which different roles are established, a genderised division of work, an unfair distribution of times and spaces, an imbalance in decision-making poweretc. According to this model, the domination of the woman in the partner relationship is a reflection of the oppression that the female gender experiences in society and is a consequence of the sexist education that promotes, legitimises and normalises male and female identities and which is transmitted by different socialising agents, regardless of the personality or individual experiences of the aggressor.

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MANIFESTATIONS OF VIOLENCE
Physical • From hitting to murder.

Economic and social • Absolute control over money. • Verbal abuse in public. • Control of external relations and activities. Psychological or emotional • • Insults, verbal humiliation and threats. Destruction of objects of sentimental value and mistreatment of pets.

Sexual • • Forcing sexual relations against your will. Exhibitionism, obscenewords, touching, harassment, and the most serious instance: rape.

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MOST FREQUENT CONSEQUENCES OF VIOLENCE
Physical problems • Chronic pain. • Unwanted pregnancies. • Injuries and/or death . Psychological problems • Depression, anxiety, insomnia, eating disorders. • Posttraumatic stress. • Alcohol abuse, drugs, and suicide. Social problems • Lack of communication and isolation. • High social cost: medical, police, legal, and social services.

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RESPONDING TO FALSE BELIEFS
MUSLIMWOMENARETHE GREATEST VICTIMS OFVIOLENCE NO:The figures show that all women could be victims of violence, just for being women. Violence manifests itself in many different ways and to a lesser or greater extent in different cultures and societies. On many occasions, this false belief points to Islam as being responsible for the existence of violence. Just like other religions, such as Judaism and Christianity, Islam does not justify violence against women. The origin of inequality is rooted in the unequal social structure that exists and which different cultures maintain through traditions, uses and customs that have established and historically normalised the exercise of violence against women. SOMEWOMENWHOARETREATEDVIOLENTLYARE MASOCHISTIC, BECAUSETHEYLIKE THEIR PARTNERTO 'SLAP THEMABOUTA BIT'. NO:Women who are victims of violence find themselves in a very complex situation, which is often difficult to understand. In order to break the relationship with the abuser, they almost always need the help of other people: neighbours, friends, professionals, to get the courage to report the situation.

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THINK WHETHER YOU EXPERIENCE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING SITUATIONS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER (THESE ARE A FEW INDICATORS):
• When your partner often tells you your opinion is not important. • If your partner and you never approach the relationship as equals. • Whenyour partner shows excessivejealousy and controls your mobile phone and your social relations. • If your partner tries to isolate you from your friends. • If your partner is excessively protective towards you, making you dependent on him in many areas of life. • If your partner has low self-esteem, an inferiority complex or feels insecure and compensates by undervaluing you and using this to feel superior to you. • If your partner is constantly finding fault with your body, the way you dress, the way you think, your hobbies, or tells you you're fat or skinny, ugly, or that you ought to change somehow. • If your partner is constantly telling you that you don't know anything, telling you to shut up or ridiculing you in public, saying "What would you know about it?", etc.

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• If your partner blackmails you, gives you the silent treatment if he does not get what he wants all the time. • If your partner always puts pressure on you when he wants to have sex or always decides which sexual position you practice. • If your partner forces you to have sexual relations without using a condom. • When your partner has a sexist attitude that is not respectful to women in general. • If the people surrounding you (friends, family and acquaintances) tell you they don't like how your partner treats you because they feel he does not respect you. • If your partner insults you, pushes you, slaps you, looks at you with indifference, even though it might only be occasionally. • If your partner has already assaulted you physically, sexually or psychologically in the past. IF YOUR ANSWER IS YES AND YOU EXPERIENCE THESE SITUATIONS CONTINUALLY, LOOK FOR A SOLUTION Source: Julia Romero (ASOCIACI6NGALARAZI)excerpt. (In this guide, we can give you the information you need to do this).

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WHAT YOU SHOULD DO...

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If you have been a victim of gender violence or have suffered a sexual assault

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DEPARTMENT EQUALITY, OF COOPERATION CITIZENS AND Plaza Venezuela No.2 - 4th floor 944204838 8:30 to 14:00. Monday to Friday

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EVALUATIONAND ANALYSIS OF ALL CASES Preventive, continuous and immediate actions

Steps to follow: 1. If you are at risk apply for a PROTECTIONORDERand FILE A REPORTat the nearest Police Station. 2. GOTO A HEALTHCENTREand tell the medical staff that you have been assaulted so that they can compile a report about the assault you have suffered. As well as this: • If you have been a victim of gender violence, it is important that you know that you can avail of TEMPORARYEMERGENCYACCoMoDATloN to ensure your safety. • IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS... TELEPHONEUS Municipal Police 092/112 Municipal Service for Social Emergencies 94 470 1460 Municipal Service for Assisting Women 94 420 48 38 24 hour Telephone Helpline 900 840 111 WE ARE HERETO HELPyoUI

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Tell friends and family, peopleclose to you. Don't keep it a secret. It is important to seeksupport in other people to find solutions.

If you have decided to reportthis situation, get someone to go with you to the nearest police station.

By having unprotected sex, you could catch a sexually transmitted disease, AIDS or become pregnant against your wishes.

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If you are the victim of violence, don't keep it quiet. Getting out of the violent situation will give you peace, wellbeing and health. Many women have escaped from this situation and you can as well.

Remember that violence is incompatible with healthy sexuality.

Remember that interrupting an unwanted pregnancy is a form of violence against your body; avoid it by using means of prevention.

USEFUL PHONE NUMBERS AND PLACES TO GUARANTEE THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN
WOMENWHOBECOMEVICTIMS OFVIOLENCEMUSTKNOWTHATTHEYHAVETHERIGHTTO: • • • • • • • • Information, guidance and advice throughout the entire process. Help moving house for safety reasons. Protection of their dignity and privacy. Immediate schooling of their children if they move to a different area. Professional support and accompaniment. Comprehensive social assistance. Legal advice and psychological guidance. If your partner is the same sex and assaults you have the right to be given information and seen.

If you are from abroad, are undocumented and a protection order is ruled in your favour or you have a favourable report from the Public Prosecutor's Office, you may be authorised to reside and work provisionally. • If there is a sentence that recognises you as a victim of domestic violence you will be authorised to reside and work in Spain. For further information: Equality, Cooperation and Citizenship Area 94420 48 38.

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AND THEY CAN GOTO: • BILBAO CITY COUNCIL DEPARTMENTOF EQUALITY,COOPERATIONAND CITIZENSHIP: For women residing in BILBAO. Plaza Venezuela No.2, 4th floor. Tel: 944204838 • WOMEN'SSERVICE,BIZCAYAREGIONALCOUNCIL:Forwomen residing in the rest of Bizkaia. Camino Ugasko No.3, 2nd floor. Tel: 944066900

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LEGALADVICE SERVICE: Court appointed lawyers and legal representatives. Barroeta Aldamar No. 10, ground floor. Tel: 94401 67 12 • VICTIM ASSISTANCESERVICE: For women residing in Bizkaia. C/lbaiiez de Bilbao No.5, ground floor. Tel: 900400028 • • 24 HOURHELPLINE. Tel: 900 840 III FAMILY MEDIATION SERVICE: CI Santutxu No. 69. Tel: 900 100080

SEXUALAND REPRODUCTIVEHEALTH: • • • • • PSYCHOSOCIAL MODULES (FOR FAMILY PLANNING, LEGAL ADVICE, PSYCHOLOGICAL GUIDANCE,...) MODULOAUZOLAN.C I La Naja NO.5 (On the corner with CI Dos de Mayo). Tel: 94 416 36 22 MODULODEUSTO-SANIGNACIO. Plaza Aoiz sin (opposite Correos). Tel: 94 475 94 72 MODULODE REKALDE.Camino Villabaso No. 24. Tel: 944449859 THE DROP-IN MEDICAL CENTRES located in your municipality offer: PRIMARY MEDICAL CARE. SPECIALIST MEDICAL CARE (Where you can request an appointment with a Gynaecologist).

CORESOCIAL SERVICES: Where they will provide you with Advice and Support regarding any social problem. There is always one nearby, in the area where you live. If you do not know where your nearest social services facilities are, call 010 and ask them to tell you. EMERGENCIES: BILBAO MUNICIPAL SOCIAL EMERGENCYSERVICE: Available 24 hours a day. Alameda Mazarredo No. 22. 94470 1460 • POLICE COURT.C/lbaiiez de Bilbao NO.4. Tel: 94401 6481 • BILBAO LOCALPOLICE. Tel: 092 • DEIAK - BILBAO SOS EMERGENCYCOORDINATION. Tel: 112 •

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