How Government Helps

K.K: Oh, hi! Welcome to our fanfic about business preparation! Now this is a long and potentially boring fic, so well try to liven things up by adding comic relief at times. Vadier: Hey, I get to say that! *sulks* K.K: If youre readin this, you probably want to know about what the government can offer you as you start your new business! The government wants your businesses to *eyes turn to $ signs, voice high-pitched and excited* PROSPER! So the government has introduced a modest policy that is going to help BOOST ECONOMIC GROWTH! Vadier: Can we stop doing that? I thought this was supposed to be a political and intellectual debate about the government and its plan to help businesses. Speak formally. K.K: Ok. We managed to interview some local shopkeepers about how they think the policy will affect them. *scene switches to K.K holding a microphone in front of a store owner.* K.K: So, the government wants to help you by

reducing VAT, which will make people want to buy things from you because they will be cheaper without the tax! JJ: Did I agree to this? K.K: *Silence* JJ: Well, firstly, as the owner of a popular megastore and a popular employer, I think that the money we will make will allow us to hire more employees. With the increased wages we pay them, they will probably buy things from my store, and I will be rich! RICH! *laughs diabolically* Uh, I mean, that policy sounds fun. *silence* K.K: Uhhh. *scene switches to K.K with another interviewee.* So, Cledo, you own a small corner shop. Youve heard of the policy, do you think this will be good for business? Cledo: Certainly! Let me fund this as an example. *scene switches to a poorly rendered animation of Cledos theory.* Cledo: With the decreased VAT, people will be free to spend their money. As the public spends their money, popular businesses will flourish in profits. They will hire employees, and their increased wages will result in more allowance

for themselves. Even if I make a small profit, I figure any profit is a good profit! *scene switches back to interview* K.K: Thanks for your time, Cledo. Cledo: Its a pleasure! *scene goes back to report room.* Vadier: Weve received breaking news! The government wants to train the unemployed to get them back into jobs and off the streets! We wanted to know, how is this going to affect businesses, if at all? As always, we went to the most reliable source, interviewing random people on the street! *scene switches again to Vadier holding a hairbrush to the mouth of a random person.* Vadier: HEY YOU! What do you think of the rumour that the government is planning to get the unemployed back into jobs? Mia: Oh hi Vadier! I know you from school! *pause* I think its awesome! Finally, I wont have to throw money at them and feel guilty. Vadier: Uh, Mia, were talking about unemployed people, not homeless people. Apparently this will be good for business. We want to know why. *mutter* WHY do I keep bumping
into people I know?

Mia: Um, well, I suppose it would be because

businesses could hire employees. But this could be a bad thing, because although productivity will increase, profits will dwindle due to the salaries that the extra employees are gonna wantalthough if VAT decreased, people will have more money to spend andVadier: Weve all heard the theory. Mia: OK, but if profits increased from the VAT decrease, there might be enough surplus to pay for extra employees. Vadier: How will this help? Mia: Well, lets take a local metro market. People hate waiting in line at markets! Right? *Scene switches to D103X5 waiting in line at the supermarket, KBeh is working at a till.* D103X5: I HATE WAITING IN LINE AT THE SUPERMARKET! Mia: Sure. Anyway, let's say profits allowed a new till to be opened. Till workers don't make much money, right? KBeh: Yes. Mia: No. They don't. So if they hire a till worker, people won't have to wait in line longer and they will be able to buy their things quicker! Vadier: How do you figure? Mia: Well, if theres an extra till, there wont be so many crowded ones, and it should be split

evenly, potentially reducing the number of customers waiting to check out their goods at the service. D103X5: YAY! Vadier: Thanks. Let's go interview Mr. I Hate Waiting in Line. *scene switches to Vadier holding a hairbrush to D103X5's head* Vadier: So, D103X5, what do you think about unemployment? First things first, do you have a job? D103X5: Whoa-wait, whyre you interviewing me? Vadier: Because everyone else we tried to interview was attacked by a Fuzzlesnug. So we have to. *JJ runs around screaming in the background* D103X5: I simply cant give away my voice like this, because the Fuzzlesnugs might track me down.but Ill be outta business if the Fuzzlesnugs invadeso ok, you got me. What Im thinking is that my business, because the Fuzzlesnugs are homeless, Ill be able to employ them so they wont attack me. I also think that unemployed people wont have had much experience in the working world, so I guess I can pay them a minimum wage. Vadier: What business do you own?

D103X5: *suddenly redundant* Uhhhhhhh. Vadier: Awww, look! *points at a Fuzzlesnug* Its saying hello! D103X5: OH, NOOHNOOHNOOHNO! *Fuzzlesnug attacks D103X5* Vadier: Awww..thats so cute! KBeh: *barges in* OH BOY! MY TURN NOW! Vadier: *sigh* Back to unemployment. What do you think of the government plan? KBeh: What? Vadier: The plan to get the unemployed off the streets? KBeh: Im a till worker, so I dont make much wage. Itd be terrible to see people who are lower life forms that me, if that is even possible, to rise up past me and succeed in everything I havent. I dont think the governments plan is a very good one, as my productivity ratehas well. dwindled a teeny weenie bit lately *scene switches to KBeh eating cupcakes on a sofa, watching television* KBeh: OH BOY! IM GLAD I MISSED WORK FOR THIS! *scene switches back to a befuddled Vadier* Vadier: It looks like weve run out of sensible people to interviewOh wait, heres someone.

Hello, sir? What do you think? Felix: Well, as an ice cream store owner, my business is done for in the winter, but theres that usual summer surge. Vadier: Oh no, what? Felix: I basically think that due to it being winter.uhhh.since nowwhat was the question? *scene switches back to studio* Vadier: As you can see, that attempt was a complete and utter FAIL. K.K: Ill try. *K.K with interviewee* Hi there. Good sir, you are employed, correct? Stryda Bot: That is correct. Affirmative. K.K: Well, did you hear? The nice old government released ANOTHER POLICY! Stryda Bot: Bzzt. checking memory. Bzzt. File Found: <png. Transportsystem>..bzzt. K.K: Yeahthe government wants to do something about congestion. Your thoughts? Stryda Bot: Bzzt. Meep. Thought found; congestion is a national annoyance throughout the country and even worldwide. Popular worldwide chains have problems with parking. K.K: Thats right. Most businesses next to

congested motorwayslike McDonalds.are popular because they are easy to find and usually right off the A303. Stryda Bot: Affirmative. Good businesses like *file check* MCDONALDS choose a good location that is easy to reach and operate. It is important for flourishing businesses to have a good road network because if they were placed out off a road which is seldom used, it would not attract good business. K.K: Well, I think weve covered that point. K.K 1, Vadier 0. *scene back to studio* Vadier: OK, next topic? K.K: *crumpling paper* Uhhh, the European Union. Vadier: Mmmm, I love onions. K.K.: Ill ignore that I dont think we need to interview anyone, my legs are tired, so lets debate here. The question in question: Why is being a member of the EU a good economical boost for some countries? Vadier: Huh. I guess because those other members, likeItalysome of their population will want to study our economy and come over here and buy things. K.K: How does that boost the economy?

Vadier: Well, lets take Luxembourg. K.K: Where? Vadier: Then say someone from Germany heard about Luxembourg and wanted to find out more about it. Assuming that the person never heard of Luxembourg and didnt have internet, what would they do? K.K: HEY! Im not from Germany! And my internet works when it wants to.oh, right. Well, I guess THAT PERSON would book a flight toFluxemblurrg or whatever and go buy a hat. Big whoop. Vadier: So youre saying tourism is a great part of the economy, because other members of the Union will be curious about the others. K.K: Oh, I get it now. Vadier: Good. Next topic? Vadier: How does theWiltshire County Council help businesses? K.K: Its a council. They help the community. Simple. Vadier: Well, yeah, but K.K: INTERVIEW TIME! *K.K interviewing Angel Imp* Angel Imp: OK, first off, the council will

obviously help the county it presides in. So it will probably fund the biggest attraction in its county. Theyll probably do some charitable acts, such as give a donation to get a small business off the ground, but if you want to be successful, you have to invest in the thing you know will succeed. K.K: Thats it? Angel Imp: Yup. Vadier: That clears up our presentation! We hope you enjoyed it! K.K: Hey, I get to say that! The End