Está en la página 1de 4

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years.

Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should write at least 250 words. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. You should give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.

model answer: It is certainly true that the position of women in society has undergone a dramatic change in the past twenty years but I do not feel that this is a direct cause of the indisputable increase in juvenile-related problems during this period. It is now accepted that young women should find work on leaving school; indeed to rely totally on their parents' financial support is no longer an option in many families. Likewise, once they get married, the majority of women continue working since the financial pressures of setting up a house and establishing a reasonable standard of living often require two incomes. Twenty years ago it was common for women to give up work once they had children and devote their time to caring for their children. This is no longer the general rule and the provision of professionally-run child care facilities and day nurseries have removed much of the responsibility for child rearing that used to fall to mothers. However, these facilities come at a cost and often require two salaries coming into a family to be afforded. I do not believe that the increase in the number of working mothers has resulted in children being brought up less well than previously. Indeed it could be argued that by giving mothers the opportunity to work and earn extra money children can be better provided for than previously. There is more money for luxuries and holidays and a more secure family life is possible. Of course there are limits as to the amount of time that ideally should be spent away from home and the ideal scenario would be for one of the parents (often the wife) to have a part-time job and thus be available for their children before and after school. It is important to establish the correct balance between family life and working life. Working women's lives continue to receive criticism in many societies and are frequently debated in the national media.In recent decades,the dominant international view has been that working women have definite benefits for themselves and their families.However,especially in Turkey,it is still open to questions.Opinions are divided as to working women have happier lives or not,but it is my firm conviction that working women are happier than other women who do not work. To begin with,it may be held that children get less care.Working women,so this argument goes,do not have time for their children sufficiently.As a consequence,they are expected to be emotionally disadvantaged in lives,that is because they may not have an interest in their children's problems,they will be unhappy.However, working might actually not lead to unhappiness.Rather,working mothers are an advantage for children since they have economic indepence,so they can meet their children's needs conveniently and children can go to school better. Housework not done very well,which can be another opposing view.In their assertion,if a woman works,housework is not done regularly.there seems to be some truth in this argument, especially considering fatigue of working many hours.Yet,one significant point is missed,that is,working women help the family budget.Thus.workers can be kept clean as well as new business area will be opened. Taking everything into consideration, it can be obviously concluded that there is a controversary about subject.Although opponents claim that it has several negative effects for women's lives and their families, it is my contention that working women have always happier lives.Hence,these points which mentioned above should be born in mind and a step towards women's working lives should be taken.
It is a big revolution that the position of women in society has remarkably changed in the decades of time but i would like to discuss the facts that are favourable and unfavourable for the society of a country, of this positional change of women. There are various favourable ideologies related to this positional change. To start with, the position of women, which govern a society e.g., Madam Sheikh Hasina and it is a bright change of our society. Secondly, the women can also assist to govern the President or Prime minister. E.g., Madame Henry Clinton, Sarah Palin and Condoleeza Rice. Thirdly, the women could also be a good Teacher, Doctor, Games and Media Star or Scholar of a society. E.g., Lady Diana and Laura S. Brown.

More over, the women could also be a Singer, Firm Employ or Waitress on a Restaurant of our society. E.g., Nigel Tomm , Madonna because she gets money through different ways to pass his life independently. Despite the facts that the many favours. Like wise, there positional change has many non-favours in a society. Firstly, when a young woman does any outdoor job and does not pass her time in the house with family members properly. After marriage, she does not even to know that how to treat with her children and other family members. Secondly, when married women work out door. She cannot give proper time to their children, to take care for them. It can be cause children to be ill by any Psychological Disease. In addition, when married women is a Teacher, Doctor, Singer, Games and Media Star, Waitress or Working in a Firm. She could be Psychologically ill by this simultaneous change of position and behaviour time to time from the house to the place where she is working. In final, it's my personal thinking that early a time, women used to be treated as objects, which were only good for cooking and cleaning. These women were expected to stay home and do nothing but take care of the children and if they did not do any thing, they were force to carry out these roles because of society's traditional views and young women were pressurize to follow in their mother's footsteps. Every little girl dreams of getting married and raising a family and do nothing in an early age. That's way; if women make and manage their time schedule properly then the favours of the different position of women in society are more compare to the non-favours and they should play there role in the society.

The following essay was written by Yusuf and he discusses about the changes in the position of women over the years.
The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. In recent times,women have been facing increased challenges in all fields.They are not only criticized at work,but also at home.They have been accused of being fully responsible for the prospective behaviour of their own children.This does not only apply to single parent mothers,but also to families with both parents. I tend to disagree that all working mothers can not take care of their children. Parenthood should not be the sole responsibility of one parent only,but unfortunately mums are usually to be blamed whenever their offsprings fall in trouble. There are certain jobs, which are dominated by women due to their motherly caring nature as in teaching,nursing or even social wokers.A lot of them are a real inspiration to the young generation,so it is totally unfair to contribute mother's work to the negativity which may be found in young adults. Mothers who are working ,may not have other alternatives to earning money especially in single parent families.Also,the work experience as well as the sociable skills accomplished will certainly have a postive impact on the self esteem of such females who can thus serve as better mums. I strongly believe that the quality of time spent with the children is much more valuable than the quantity itself.A lot of housewives may leave their kids infront of the TV ,the computers or videogames.Hence they are passively contributing in bringing them up. On the other hand,many of the female full timers or part timers are intelligent enough to manage and plan their time efficiently.Believing in the significant value of the limited hours they spend with their sons and daughters,will definitely push them to plan many events in advance and to make the best of it.So,it is not unusual to find them sharing their children or even teens in reading or even playing outdoor . Consequently,the length of time spent by women at home could never be the only factor considered to predict the juvenile sociable behaviour.The amount of attention these youngsters are getting is absolutely more influencing on both the short and the long terms.In other words ,a dedicated mother could be a working mother or a housewife. Word count: 354 4-POINT CRITIQUE

For the last two decades, society has seen significant changes in the position of women. Though it might be true that some juvenile-related problems result from the lack of care from their working mother, we should also bear in mind that, women are not the only ones to be blame for such matters. For one thing, there is no denying the fact that the children whose mothers hold high positions tend to be spoilt rather than others. In reality,these women do not spend much of their time being with their children. Thus,they can not teach or guide them through the difficulties of life which are not sometimes understood by their fathers. Instead, they pamper the children by giving them money or luxuries as a way to compensate for their lack of responsibilities. Consequently, the children are inclined to be spoilt and be slave of comforts while they havent been aware of the value of money. Without receive pamper anymore, these children are vulnerable to end in juvenile prisons.

However, looking at the issue from another angle, the juvenile-problems should not be the womens responsibilities alone. This might depend on other factors such as : the childrens understanding and the role of school as well. For instance, in many families,although the mothers work all day,their children are still good ones. This is due to their consciousness of hardship which their mother have to go through. Beside, schools and teachers play a vital part in educating children to become dignified individuals. Whats more, working mother also contribute to a source of finance which mean that there is more money for luxuries and holiday as well as a secure family life. All is considered,lack of care from mothers might lead to some problems among young people however this is not considerable. It is the most important that women should balance between family life and working life.
Share o o o o o o o o o
#2 06-Dec-2009, 03:56

chester_100
Member Re: please give some comments on my essay! Quote:

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 463 Home Country: Iran Native Language: Persian Current Location: Iran Member Type: English Teacher

Originally Posted by vananh90 For the last two decades, society has seen/ undergone significant changes regarding the position of women/ women's status.Although [ better than though in writing and at the beginning of a sentence] it might be true that some juvenile-related problems result from the lack of care from their working mother [ if the children are very young, they may experience "maternal deprivation" which is technical term ] we should also bear in mind that, women are not the only ones to [be is not needed]blame for such matters. For one thing, there is no denying the fact that the children whose mothers hold high positions tend to be spoilt more than others. there is no denying: sounds to be good for spoken language; instead you could say: doubtlessly, undoubtedly, undeniably, .... . By the way, it should be followed by that + sentence: there is no denying that the children .... . Your theory is not necessarily right. If you have scientific data proving that, you should put it forward. For another [ your previous sentence starts with "For one thing", so you have to follow the same pattern ], these women do not spend much of their time being with their children. Thus, they can not teach or guide them through the difficulties of life which are not sometimes understood [ understand is strong here; you could write: felt, perceived, sensed, detected] by their fathers. Instead, they pamper the children by giving them money or luxuries as a way to compensate for their lack of responsibilities[they are not irresponsible; they are just too busy to take care of the children all the time] . Consequently, the children are inclined to be spoilt and be slave of comforts [this view is very strong too; ] while they havent been aware of the value of money. Without being pampered anymore, these children are likely to end up in juvenile prisons.[are you really sure of that?]

However, looking at the issue from another angle, the juvenile [no dash here] problems should not only be the womens responsibilities (= women alone should not be responsible for ....). This [ what?] might depend on other factors such as : the childrens understanding and the role of school as well. For instance, in many families, although the mothers work all day [ even robots are entitled to take a rest; to work full time sounds better],their children are still good ones(= their families are healthy). This is due to their (the children's) consciousness of the hardship which their mothers have to go through. Beside, schools and teachers play a vital role in educating children to become dignified individuals. Whats more, working mothers also contribute to the source of income, which means that there is more money for luxuries and holidays as well as a secure family life. All things considered, lack of care from mothers might lead to some problems among youngsters; however, this is not considerable: That (= the fact that) women should strike/ keep a balance between family life and working life is of pivotal importance. Please, don't forget to put a blank after punctuations; there are some instances in which you've forgotten to do so. Good luck,