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or another, ounce of energy will gradually flow in you until it accumulates pass a climax, then a sudden urge of doing silly things to know her happens. Before you know it, everything happens in a flash, and when you think back, you wondered how on earth did you manage to do or say something as retard. I am in similar hypothetical situation. I observed her since two days and for some diabolical reasons, something stuck me, whispering to me in telepathy mode that I have to know her. Must have one of Cupid's bow shot went haywire and got into me - my eyes never left her. She is petite and small, with long flawless hair. Her features were well defined - especially her eyes that captured my soul in the first wink I caught from her. She is not those drop-dead gorgeous model's style, but when she smiles and her two dimples creases into her cheeks deeply, nothing on earth is sweeter than her. Her charisma and the air that saturates around her is angelic and when I am near her, to close for comfort (it's simply stressing), she smelled like a walking conditioner. I have to know her, if I want this piece of dream to turn into reality. If it were something of my forte, it would have been as simple as snapping my fingers, but I had never approach a girl before. What do you expect from someone who studied in an all guys school since Primary One and not even a single sister at home? Female of similar age don't exist in my environment since I graduated from kindergarten, which was like years ago? Today is the last day of school, which means starting from tomorrow, two months worth of vacation began. Then, my chances of seeing her will be zero because she doesn't even stay near me; she stayed near my good friend, Jerry, private estate. Fate has enabled us to meet because two days back, because I have been going to Jerry's house and I would only see her at the bus stop. So everything needs to be done today! She is sitting in front of me and my mind is virtually blank, thinking of a good way to start a decent conversation with her. Then, the bus appeared into sight and my set my pulse racing - I am losing my time resources! The bus slowed down to a gradually stop and we both board it. I chose a seat near the back and sat down, watching her walked passed me and sat behind. A wave of uneasiness washed over me as I could even sense her gaze on my back. There was an internal war waging inside me as I am fighting against trying to walk over to introduce myself and to remain rational. Finally our stop came and we got down. She walked at a quickened pace, reckoning that I am stalking her
Maybe because I had never had a girlfriend before and always have this phobia of relationship not lasting behind my head. We exchanged numbers and I learned that she is not exactly local.. She turned around. so late still never sleep ar?' I heard my mum's voice lurking in the background. But when he stressed his point. Every seconds is slipping passed me and beads of sweats broke out at strategic part of my forehead. I can't let this final chance go by! She went through the gate of the estate by now and my mind is in state of desperation. I guess she is gonna skin me alive. which means snow in Japanese ?like her unblemished skin.. I came home quite late and logging onto IRC and yes! She is there.could get to know you and be your friend?? All the energy in me had expanded in this stuttering sentence I blurted.. When I came arm length distance from her. Jerry told me to go after her. commanding me to finish the leftover food in the kitchen. Watching her gradually moving towards her block is unimaginable.behind. My face is beginning to blush red with shyness as I waited for any respond. Then she said she had to leave and with a dumb smile reciprocating her sweet ones. Jerry said that guys must be sweet talkers and romantic.. as if expecting all that would happen and gave me a curious look.I. Our relation are like good friends now. She smiled faintly and gosh. If my mum knew that I ate in school already. 'Cloud. 'Just came back from school. she is a half Japanese who came to Singapore to study. Her name is Yukiko. I tried learning to be one. I delivered a light tap onto her shoulder. Come on Cloud you could do it! OR you are gonna lose this chance forever!? A surge of false strength filled my veins as I ran towards her. Words like these seemed like healing wards for the day fatigue. before running and yelling at the top of my voice that I made it. Hi.' Waited for me? Sometimes girls can be such cute little thing. I was. but my heart doesn't want to sacrifice this stable friendship for now. she sent me a message. you?' 'I waited for you to come online. 'Why leh? Miss me ar? HAHAHAHA!' . we parted. that nearly sweep me off my feet. I am none of the above. well. Did I mention knocking onto the lamppost and actually apologized to it? It was two months since I knew her and we have always talk online. Five minutes went by and everything happened as smoothly as any successful mission. fair and silky-like.was wondering if I.. Before I could catch my breathe for walking back home from the bus stop.. I looked back at her for one final time.
Maybe people involved will find it longer than it seemed to be. that's a good attempt.' 'Really. rant about it. Maybe that's why girls always tell one another about their personal problem? 'Well. Just when I am stuck with her questions. I am a counsellor in school and people approach me for all kind of interpersonal relation problem.' Somehow girls are very affected over things happening to their friends in matters of love. gif me a smile ok? I treat you movie next time. it seemed that the treating trick always works.? What happen?' 'My good friend just broke up with her boyfriend today.' Three months and you called that long? It's not even longer than a semester. I have go off for now to eat supper. I am such a dickhead. Hey. Cloud. they will be together right? Sometimes not being together is a good thing. I see you tomorrow ok?' Well. 'If they were meant to be together well. but hey. whereas they would share their pain and sorrow or cry with them. everyone talks about it. thank God about it. 'Cloud! You are finally here!' . I have never gotten myself a girlfriend.' 'You say wan ar. Grinning from ear to ear.' 'I seen them come together and they have been together for 3 months plus. . Guys would normally tell them to move on with their life and stuff. you could say that?' 'Then are we fated to know each other. I skip my way to the kitchen.' 'Come on. 'Hey. my mum with her pissed off face come knocking at my door. Maybe that's why I have another point of view? But when it comes to myself. but when it comes to relation.it's getting common isn't it? Relationship are breaking up every now and then. Couples not suited for each other being force to be together is a painful thing.' 'Fate.?' I always hated it whenever girls corner me with questions that neither YES nor NO is the right answer. 'Cloud.?' Fate to me is like a legend. so I know nuts about it. Err. answer you another time. demanded that I finish the food left for me. I am moody today.I know the laughter was just to cover my embarrassment. so long. it means that I can make use of this excuse to catch a movie with her! I am such a fast learner 'Ok! bye bye!' The next thing I see is the 'DISCONNECT' word on my computer.
guys of these days are not looking for serious relation. People have to get to know and go through more relation before they could realise that who is the right one for them what. 'Yah I told her to move on with her life. so poor thing.' All woman loves romance. whom you least expected it.' 'Why? Go get one?' . Really?.' . but he ignore her.' Well. 'She cried you know. doing stuff together and most importantly.' 'y? something is wrong?' Ok baby. Why cry wasted tears over a relation that was never meant to be yours in the first place? Human. I will also dunno what the do.Tian ya he chu wu fang cao. grow together.I like it! Until maybe when the special one comes along. its meaningless don't you think? Relation nowadays are going nowhere because people just want to be in a relation. 'I don't want to get a gf for the SAKE of getting one.' Don't know what to do? Make yourself happy instead of lingering in this sorrowful event? Sometimes I really wonder if woman are that dumb? Or is it love that is making woman a vulnerable creature? And what makes you think THAT it is love? Woman. love their lovers. It is like exposing yourself to danger through speaking. 'Me? What about me?' 'What if something like that happens to you?' 'Er. Be it emotionally. Ok I admit. What about you Cloud?' Me? How come the topic is about me now? I always avoid questions whenever it comes to me in revealing my inner self. in their first love. People. sexually or physically. I don't even have a gf. this would be the catalysis to explode my innermost views again. then that guy said that he likes another girl. I am not late. if I am her. Without it. I don't mind being alone . I will try my best to be with her. It is like salt and sugar in cooking. it won't lar.they WANT someone to walk by them. whatever relation will be bland. in others. even though are emotional creatures. rather I am pretty early using IRC entering our usual chat room. They are afraid to be alone . they loved love. I watch TOO much TV. No.' A Chinese proverb came into my mind . betray the trust you given to them and you will have to go through this series of utter disappointment and sadness.looked at the clock and it says 10 pm. everything will just be a memory of what had taken place. my good friend tried to patch back with her bf today. 'Cloud. but she loved him so much and she couldn't believe that he like someone else. after a period of time.
I don't want you to see me go.There was an unaccustomed silence after I type that paragraph.' I have to leave too. She showed me the real innocence of a young lady. I had never asked about the background of her family or sort. signalling to my victory of words. that why will also be like that. All hail cupid for the golden opportunity! Ok. I want to stay single.' She is such a poor liar. my hypnotic statement has hinted her! YEAH! Lets watch movie together tomorrow ok?' Er. 'You make me blushed. HAHAHAHA!' Why is it that I must laugh every time I attempt a MUSHY statement? A lousy cover for my embarrassment.' Hooray!! I could see my happiness on the computer screen.'Oh wait. Somehow. untainted and pure. to guide her along. She is too cute to stay single. during these periods of knowing her. '3. no I am not cute. its getting late.2. ' From a close defeated battle.I can't take advantage of her innocence right? 'Cloud. 'Cloud.1. I have to go already. My fingers speed through the keyboard and finally stop at the last word. until the special one comes along too. .' 'Aww. its almost 12 and my Cinderella has to leave. 'I girl mah. he retaliate and bites back. When you say that they look like toilet. You are right Cloud. such is mentality of a woman.she is VERY naïve and this creates an impulse for me to protect her.Oh yeah. saying you look worst. When you praise a girl pretty. I have eventually emerge the winner as I continue to chat with her for the next two hours. but we talk everything else. how could cute girls like her possibly stay single? Guys will try all sorts of ways to get her and she would finally succumb to one. I love the way she is.' I can't believe I am doing this SILLY business. Oh @$$@! Have I just ruined my good impression? I discern its time to celebrate with Jerry about my first failure. they would tell you they look ugly. you say the other time you wanna treat me movie right?' Ok. Cloud you log off first. naturally cute and THIS is the reasons that stop me from jioing her . I loved to chat with her as she is way so different from all the other girls .gone!' .ok I count to 3 and leave. ok!' My mind was cheering and screaming in rejoice.
I was stoned watching her coming. 'Sorry I am late. not the show. It is not polite to be late for a date for the first time anyway. Going out with a girl? I had never been out with one before! Praying at my bedside sincerely that nothing will crewed up on that day. White spaghetti straps top with jean skirts. more. the location we suppose to meet. I am pro huh? HAHAHA! Smiling at my flippant words. was weird but comprehendible. you never know when you gonna get hit by the ball in your face. At least she won't be crying while watching a sad movie and I had to cheer her up later. it grew some laughter in it. She is simply stunning and like a critical hit.40 pm and I was at Starbucks (20 minutes before appointment point) .' She blushed and I nearly died saying that sentence.the smell. Gradually. although horror show seemed like a whole lot better option to me. Her Japanese accent with little tint of singlish that comes along with it. she looked so cute.Plaza Singapura. after we decide and made purchase for Shallow Hal. I did not understand what she was saying. Hiak! .' 'So what movie are we watching?. Hey. I guess it was just something to start conversation. but hey. I was daydreaming about today's soccer match I played and started pondering over life issues and soccer. After finishing our drinks. totally excited about tomorrow's event. I looked up and saw her smiling and making her way towards me. we will check it out later.' 'Nah. What load of crap! As I was trying to entertain myself to relieve some amount of tension in me. It makes them looked. It was comedy show and Jerry said that comedies is good way to remember a first date. erm. Slipping my favourite ice blended mocha. Actually at times (lucky thing it wasn't frequent). I waited. We chatted for a while . I sense her presence . I simply love girls wearing skirts. especially when she smiled that I have this burning urge to pinch her cheek. Woah. I can never forget. I commented on how gorgeous she looked today. she gain comfort from my company and from chatting. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------It was 8. I bought another ice-blended mocha for her as she said she wanted the same. I am just early myself. Life is like soccer. its Ok. She looked really shy and reply with a soft thanks. we made our way to the Cinema.' 'It's ok. more female. Nevertheless.Jerry told me to soften her up with the conversation as she will most likely be as tense as I am. I really meant what I said.I couldn't get to sleep on that day. anyway what matter most is who I am watching with.
I think I am not gonna wash my hair today. which was my first fear. but I love her reply. We walked out of the Cinema and out of Plaza Singapura. The story is a mixture of hearts. She blushed and tapped my head lightly. We choose a seat at the far back and sat down 'This driver is always very chatty. do you think there are people like that?' Sure.' 'Why must guys like pretty girls?' I was momentarily taken aback by a sudden question. . of course. Rosemary.last time you both dunno each other wan right?' It was the bus driver and I nodded in faintly agreement with him and smiled my way through. at the very least she understand the story.'Cloud. 'Don't be silly. I think I prefer. cute girls like. not bad ar. 'Because human like to see pretty things? I mean you would like to see good looking guys too right?' 'But good-looking guys don't give me security. I could see watery tears rimming around Yukiko's eyes. 'Me?' I was trying to buy time as she nodded her head almost immediately. that is the real world. I always seen him talking to other passengers. just like me laughing whenever I made mushy remarks. I asked myself and the answer that came up doesn't seemed too good. 'Boy ar. Even though she never really answered my question. don't bother about him.' My heart screamed another point of victory. If I say no I am lying to myself. What the hell? Well. the second closest to handsome.' She shaped a smile from her lips. the lead actress came into the picture and he fell in love with her. 'Well.' I know that sentence was just to cover her embarrassment. I decided to sent her home by bus as I think this is the very least what a guy should do.We recognized the bus driver. without realizing that she is not what he thinks she looked like. you!' My system was undergoing this contained stress and it is making me go nuts every time she throws questions like these to stumble me.I am decent looking. He judged woman by appearance and in the end he got hypnotize by this guy who made him sees woman by their character instead of physical beauty. while she giggled uncontrollably. get to know her liao. Gawd! I need the best of both world answer. the ultimate shallow guy.The movie is talking about Hal Larsen. That's why I don't like good-looking guys. while I tried to reassure her that the world was still spinning and it was only a show. 'What about you Cloud? Do you like pretty girls too?' THIS KIND of question AGAIN? If I said yes. We boarded the bus. I will appear **** shallow. the same bus 171 where we always take . I am not good looking . laughs and emotions and at the end of the show. Oh man.
but when is the right time? 'Cloud.I thanked her. she consulted me and I will be there to give my expertise advice. I should have just pop the question and leave the thinking to her.' I looked at her origami made from bus tickets and wondered whether I should do something similar. one for me. Am I in heaven? I have nothing to give you.' 'That all?. when it comes to expressing to HER. Noooooooo. the woman's men. I have to say something that she wants to hear or forever I will be condemn in her eyes. But the urge to reveal my feeling hasn't reached to such stage for desperation yet. peer evaluating time! Even though I speak easily to myself. I decide to avoid the question using my avoidance tactics. For the next few months. One for you. Jerry.. shield and depend. leaving her all alone.Suddenly.' I nodded and finally relented. so I made this two heart myself. Finally her stop arrived and she had to align. Maybe this is what true love is. . I know she longs for my company like I longs for hers. said that I am wasting too much time on a single girl. Maybe next time I would. she told me she couldn't go out very often as her guardian is very strict .' What do you mean that's all? Oh dear. I appreciate her effort though . we chatted everyday and each time I felt that I am slipping into this pit of angelic darkness called love. I have something to ask you.. Well. 'Cute? And you are a very good friend of mine. We are like one in-separate-able pair of best friend. It's not good if I am being seen by my neighbours with a guy so late at night you know. which contribute reasons for her character.finally she is talking more about herself. every date has to part eventually right? I watched her fade into her estate and until I caught zero glimpse of her. It's ok.' Oh ! . I am score an F9 for it. not again? 'What do you think of me?. after all life is too short to spend on one person. someone to be there regardless of whether you two are together . Whatever problems she has. We got down and I insisted in sending her all the way till her block.' Oh no. Look away first!' I did as I was told and after five minutes she hold my waist and put her fist onto my hands. I am in LOVE with TODAY.someone to guide. she took the bus tickets I was holding. Her parents are overseas working.
Guess that I have to wait for tomorrow to see her again. this time about 15 minutes earlier. the effect of TOO much TV. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------I arrived early as usual. with me. As I looked up. that's what TV drama always show. I feel bad if you have to wait for me. . I can't express it out.' Ok I have to go offline now. It seemed that after the episode of knowing her. we meet at Mac at Parklane ok?' '/me nodded her head. borrow from me and then disappear into thin air. but in this short span of time. As I was busy throwing impossible scenarios into the pictures to cease my tension. she allow me to go out tomorrow. waiting for her outside Macdonald patently. again. her nick has quit IRC.' I smiled at her consideration for me.' Phew. 'Cloud. I didn't know how to reply her smile and decide to leave it until she reply me with something else. But regardless of what is it. can we meet for dinner tomorrow?' Another date! Yeah I screamed literally at my computer scream as she is able to go out once more.' My first lie I made to her. hiak. We went into Mac and sat near the window seats. I am beginning to learn the trades of using words. Reckoning about her sudden wanting to meet me suggested motives.' 'Ok. lucky thing I manage to come out with this marvellous sentence. 'Waited long?' 'Only about 5 minutes. Must be the effect of those skin whitening Japanese beauty product. she stood in front of me. but nevertheless her sparkling eyes never loses its glow. where we could look out towards the roadside. Before I could reply with anything. I want to let you know that treasure you a lot. I noticed her face is getting fairer and whiter to the extend of being pale. Five minutes went by and I am starting ponder whether I should reply anything. But it was for good cause.'There is a lot of things in my heart that I feel about you. Maybe she needed a large sum of money. remember don't be so early ok?. 'Sure! What about your guardian? She allows you to go out?' 'Yes.
Somehow. We spoke nothing. but just nice enough for comfort.be it stupid. The sky is densely clouded and the breezes is strong. The first intimate bodily contact I had with a girl back to back. We sat down side by side and watched the waves continual sweeping up the shores. I looked into her eyes and her eyes seemed to tell me that she may have gone through a lot of in during these period. I noticed that she was looking at me with such mesmerizing effect that I nearly unbalanced myself 'Cloud.' You eat anything. considering her lovable nature and attractiveness. I spoke some joke and she giggled a little as we continue to our meals.' 'Oh really?.' She giggled out of a sudden and I wondered what she meant. till now.' I went to buy for her and decide upon Mac Nuggets Meal as she is a small eater. silly. I eat anything.' Good? What you mean good? You mean you want me to trick you to bed and after that meet about for sessions like this? Thinking back.simple and sincere. Why must woman always bring up the topic of fate everytime when it comes to relation of any kind? I nodded my head a little. What you mean?' 'Before those day when you wanted to know me. but she always responded. 2 large coke and two boxes of 6-pieces nugget was on the tray as I carried them. She seemed a little solemn today and I reckoned that if there is anything I could give in to her. why are you so good to me?. I must have seen like a pervert or something to you right?. Reached in while moment. Less than an instant. 'You are my best friend and appreciated it. and must be fated that will know each other right?' Fate again.'What do you want. just like two hearts melted in one. I was actually getting a little irritated when you stalked me. We finished our meals and were playing with our straws like little kids. It is not much. 'Can we go somewhere where I could see the sea?' We took a taxi down to Marina Bay. we got out and walked close to the shores where the waves roar in protest from the raging winds. I realize that you are different from other guys that wanted to know me. looking at the nightly sky. just revelling in nature's enjoyment. cute. I told myself never would I forget such day. I buy for you.' What? There are other idiots doing the same thing too? Oh well. Sometimes I feel that she is the only person in the world that appreciate what I am doing . But then again. As we had our little 'fighting'. 2 packets of large fries. but all my mind was telling me was to make her happy . Suddenly she position and lean herself on my back with her head facing up. only ******* guys would do that and being a good guy. I tried to cheer her up a little as the topic she started were on the emotional side. . I shall uphold my reputation. I don't know what was the problem may be. I am NOT surprised. I should give in. dumb or whatever!.
..' I looked at the sky and to me. in the present moment. I. Don't tell me all the fantasy I am having is coming to an end? If this was a dream. Can we still contact through IRC?' I was hoping for a small miracle.' Actually I was wondering why she sobbed. 'I don't think I have computer or internet connection at my house. she isn't my girlfriend or something.' We both got up and walked hastily towards the road in trying to catch a cab. its ok.The sky is beautiful right?. Then.' The atmosphere is getting intense and to make matter worst. it appeared as if it's going to rain soon. but at least I could still talk to her online. would you remember me?. my gaze never left hers . I nodded my head to her question and her gaze move onto the rough sea. 'I understand. we could chat on the phone whenever we can and I think we better leave now. but halfway through. As if a soldier going for war. its nothing much. the merciless weather started pouring heavily. My hands formed a tiny. in my mind.I have decide not to avoid it. all I thought of is to shield her from the chilling rain as I didn't want her to fall sick. rolling her vision between the sea and the sky before looking down. and looked into me. I pray that I will never wake up from it.' 'Yes of course! I will!. is there something wrong?' She kept quiet. I had to put on a brave front. Then she stopped leaning on me. 'Cloud.it won't block the rain from drenching her. but it seemed that maybe she wants to bring out something to tell me and I suspect it is nothing good. We studied each other gaze for a moment and after what seemed like eternity. it's going to rain. your parents are over there and they worried for you.' Even though I am fighting inside.. little barrier and covers her head. Well. I could see a layer of wetness in her eyes. 'Will you come and visit me if I ask you to?. I can't demand her not to leave. have to go back Japan. Even though I just had a shock from what she had just told me. It is **** dumb and I don't understand why am I doing such acts . Girls of her age needs their parents to be with them more than friends.' Like a prick on bubbles. the I could feel a drop of water falling on my skin. 'Why? I will never forget you. an internal implosion occurred within me.
As I . 'When are you leaving then.1.2. rubbing her arms to gain some heat.the cab reached her place and lucky thing. reality is extremely cruel .?' 'Tomorrow. It's terrible! Would you see me off?. If she told me earlier. My index finger teased her dimples a little as she felt tickled and ruffled her head in between my arms and chest All good things must come to an end . this brave front indestructible. I gulped down the entire bottle and sat by my study table in my room. again.' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------Boy ar. for some reasons. but I can't bear to.' She is right. we were in the cab pretty drenched.waiting for THAT day. but if I were to see her off. she opened her eyes. My mind and soul won't be able to endure the parting scene. perhaps it's better if we keep it this way. she was in my embrace and I was stroking her soaked hair. I told the uncle to reduce the air-con to the lowest and put my arms around her shoulder. like an awaken baby in the morning. there was shelter to her house. I never turn back to even have my last glance.' The next thing I knew. my feelings would be just like dying patients with the last stage of cancer . It remains on my face emotionlessly and dead. I told the uncle to wait for a while and got out of the cab with her.heaven makes sport of men.' It was close to my June examination and my mum knocked and came into my room. I am suppose to tell you earlier. It has been a few months since I last saw or heard from her. '3. I feel that I already had my last glance when I spoke my last words to her.' In my heart. the scene would be unimaginable. Gradually. Working through last year papers has driven me to the pinnacle of madness. drink this.' I actually managed to smile and kept this mask of mine. I looked out of my room's window and thought of Yukiko. we should just keep this the last meeting then. I saw a coming taxi driving and I flagged it. 'You are so silly Cloud. we both just walk off to our destination and never look back ok? She nodded and I could see her tears closed to spilling out. Her eyes were kept closed and my fingers travelled to her cheeks.Chicken Essence. Well.' Tomorrow? Did I just hear wrongly? What's the rush? Sometimes. I think. After the scene at her estate and we promise not to look back at each other. By the count of three. Pinching lightly to fulfil my long awaited-desire. there is this robust urge of seeing her every second. come.Then. bringing me the usual examination brain tonic .
I don't know why she never contacts me since then. 'Miss me?. My happiness could not contain inside me and I need to release it. how you know it was me?. but no she wasn't. but somehow I had this feeling that it was her.' Actually. 'How. Maybe she lost my number over there. the movie. I can't allow such feelings to overpower me. Boy ar! Your phone!' My phone? At such hours of the night? 'Hello?. the unexpected rain. I know it already passed midnight.' 'For making me worried and missing you so badly.' I smart what! Hey! I never hear from you SO LONG!' I emphasised on the words 'So long' as if I had never heard anything from her for few decades. the beach. I controlled myself emotionally and force my tears back to its origin. our chats. the cuddle and every other tiny little details. Then I scolded her. The first thing I did was to told her to hang on for a moment and screamed at the top of my voice. I can't use the phone here for very long too. dinner. for not contacting me and making me so worried for her. I don't mind the duration of her calls . Is this piece of dreamland meant to be only a dream? Tomorrow is the beginning of my exam. I rubbed my eyes a little and stretched. in gentle tone. 'Sorry. but I know she has her reasons. straws fighting. maybe she is busy adapting to her new life.' . or maybe she has forgotten me? No can't be! How can that be? How can the scenarios that have been taken place be so easily forgotten? The day I knew her. For a guy's image. you shall treat me movie the next time I see you.' There was no respond. I went back to my books and paper and continue began working on it. telling myself not to ponder over past issues as it may affect my exam performance.depart. I went online that day and see if she was there using another nick. hoping that a miracle could happen. but I finally succumb to my inner self and wanted to make sure I won't think back and regret on the fact that I never check whether she was online that day. Yukiko?? Is that you?' I was praying and gripping the phone hard. literally.I just wanted to hear her voice so badly.
Yeah I will see her soon! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------'Boy ar.' Huh? A letter for me? I had never receive a letter addressed to me before. Dear Cloud.today is the last paper. provided I give her my words that my results will be good when it is out. Regardless. I don't want you to see me hang up on you. I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE! I want to see her so badly and life has been good to me. For the sake of going over. determined to do well so that I could psycho my mum to pay for my trip. doing my revision. but I love the surprises Cupid has in store for me. I was home. can't talk anymore. examination?.?' 'Yes? You want me to go over? Ok sure. I was hoping in my heart that time will freeze so that we could chat till the end of time. like all other days. although my mind wandered on the thought of seeing her again. Then. remember that day when I ask you if you would visit me in Japan and you said you would. is there anything you want to tell me?.' Next sat?. I thank you God for giving me this chance!! HOORAY! *Days passed* Finally I am close to finishing my examination . From morning till night. I hurried my revision. 'Cloud. Cloud.I used the same trick again. Before I put down. I got to go already. . Hehz. My mum says that if I do finish this examination. everything is worth it. she would pay for my tickets. a letter for you. I have been studying non-stop. I examined the envelope and it wrote ' To Cloud' on the front. Curiously. my mum calls for me and I guess it must be regarding the trip over. tell me your address?. that is when?' Maybe 28 May or slightly later.' Take lots of care ok? I can't wait to see you soon!' You put down first Cloud. tell me your address.' With that a heavy heart our conversation ended as I put the phone down. even though little setbacks filled along the way.' I jolted down her contacts in Japan and kiss it. In preparation for the coming trip to Japan.Yeah. I will go over right after my examination next sat. HAHAHA! We spoke on the phone and talked like old friends and the pressing examination stress seemed to have vanished. in amidst of studying. I tear opened and a letter fell out.
but no wrong liking you what right? You told me you rather wait for the special one. You said you are not romantic at all. I would disappear from the surface of the world and they wants to be with me during this period. I apologise for not telling you everything about myself. My operation begins on 24 May and I will call you maybe a week plus before to fulfil the promise you said you would come over and visit me in Japan.it would have been you. or I am already in heaven watching over you. it would be you asking me whether if I like good-looking guys. Perhaps it is just one sided. your advices. So I want to tell you that I appreciate your company. shielding you like what you did. If there is one thing final question I want you to ask me. everything you did or said. although you never express yourself to me. This distinct character could only be found in you and I want you to kept it that way for I like the way you are. if there is one person I wouldn't want to see crying . I am feeling a little tired writing this letter. I giggled to myself every night after we chatted online and I began to ask myself if I fell in love with you. .Before I began. By then you would know the truth and I could see you for the last time. at least. I know you are putting on a brave front because as a woman I could cry and I know you would be there to console me. I wrote this letter on the night when we parted and promise not to look back. you are the best a guy could be. not the way you looked. The success rate of this operation is only 30% and anything could happen. During the time when I was cuddling in you. very much. In this world. But do not despair. I love you. if you receive this letter through mail send by my guardian. You may find a girlfriend by then. because I feared that I may not have the chance to see you again this lifetime. as I will always be around you. it means that I am already gone. I don't like them because I like guys like YOU unique and extraordinary. but I am determine to finish what I had to say. I hope that the cab could drive slower because I may not get the chance to cuddle in you again. I guess I did. in vain. Actually I broke the promise. No. that's why I ask you if you would come to visit me if I ask you to. Cloud. My parents wants me to go back to take a major operation there because if this operation were to fail. I knew that you are the one. to protect me from the rain today. but to me. just like Rosemary in the movie we watched together. leaving this world. leaving my suffering and of course. leaving my physical body. But then again. and I told you I will also wait for mine. I did looked back. but someone has to be the stronger one to console and reassure right? The reasons why I have to go back to Japan is because I am suffering from a rare case of a blood cancer that may claim my life very soon if it is not treated.
' I smiled at him and pointed to my heart. Why DIDN'T I LEFT Singapore to Japan? I should have hack care about my examination to be with her. lying at the mercy of my ill-fated destiny.Yukiko Tears I have been fighting back. at this time broke from my resistance barrier and roll down my cheek as I saw the date today . her final days. I was crying. She was waiting for me to pop the question! And I never did! I should have fuc-king listen to Jerry. I was rooted to the ground. made me sink deeper into this whirlpool of depression. all the time. I clutched my head tightly as trains of disillusioned thoughts sinks into my mind.although this could never happen and thinking of it. Since that day. like a baby in crossfire. totally defeated. I waited for the bus and soon. Clutching tightly onto the heart origami that she made. I never spoke much because I was hurt. 'Eh boy ar.' . I knew something is happening to me. Decisions. it arrived. I could let her know HOW MUCH she meant to me and how much I loved her. I recalled that she still owe me a movie treat . I sat at the bus stop where I first saw her and every scene replay itself in my mind. At the very least. have cruel consequences regardless of which options I chose. why your girlfriend not with you ar?.27 May. 'Nope! She is with me. totally confused and helpless. disappointed and regretted beyond words. I should not. my results were good. like a drama. weeping silently to myself for the tears I owe her and for the lack of courage to express my feeling. I should not have delay the trip over. I took it and realise that it was the same bus driver again. I was at the verge of mental breakdown. most of the times. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As expected.
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