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or another, ounce of energy will gradually flow in you until it accumulates pass a climax, then a sudden urge of doing silly things to know her happens. Before you know it, everything happens in a flash, and when you think back, you wondered how on earth did you manage to do or say something as retard. I am in similar hypothetical situation. I observed her since two days and for some diabolical reasons, something stuck me, whispering to me in telepathy mode that I have to know her. Must have one of Cupid's bow shot went haywire and got into me - my eyes never left her. She is petite and small, with long flawless hair. Her features were well defined - especially her eyes that captured my soul in the first wink I caught from her. She is not those drop-dead gorgeous model's style, but when she smiles and her two dimples creases into her cheeks deeply, nothing on earth is sweeter than her. Her charisma and the air that saturates around her is angelic and when I am near her, to close for comfort (it's simply stressing), she smelled like a walking conditioner. I have to know her, if I want this piece of dream to turn into reality. If it were something of my forte, it would have been as simple as snapping my fingers, but I had never approach a girl before. What do you expect from someone who studied in an all guys school since Primary One and not even a single sister at home? Female of similar age don't exist in my environment since I graduated from kindergarten, which was like years ago? Today is the last day of school, which means starting from tomorrow, two months worth of vacation began. Then, my chances of seeing her will be zero because she doesn't even stay near me; she stayed near my good friend, Jerry, private estate. Fate has enabled us to meet because two days back, because I have been going to Jerry's house and I would only see her at the bus stop. So everything needs to be done today! She is sitting in front of me and my mind is virtually blank, thinking of a good way to start a decent conversation with her. Then, the bus appeared into sight and my set my pulse racing - I am losing my time resources! The bus slowed down to a gradually stop and we both board it. I chose a seat near the back and sat down, watching her walked passed me and sat behind. A wave of uneasiness washed over me as I could even sense her gaze on my back. There was an internal war waging inside me as I am fighting against trying to walk over to introduce myself and to remain rational. Finally our stop came and we got down. She walked at a quickened pace, reckoning that I am stalking her
We exchanged numbers and I learned that she is not exactly local. I guess she is gonna skin me alive.I. 'Why leh? Miss me ar? HAHAHAHA!' . When I came arm length distance from her. Jerry told me to go after her. Words like these seemed like healing wards for the day fatigue. she sent me a message. Watching her gradually moving towards her block is unimaginable. If my mum knew that I ate in school already. fair and silky-like. Maybe because I had never had a girlfriend before and always have this phobia of relationship not lasting behind my head. well. but my heart doesn't want to sacrifice this stable friendship for now.' Waited for me? Sometimes girls can be such cute little thing. I came home quite late and logging onto IRC and yes! She is there. Before I could catch my breathe for walking back home from the bus stop..could get to know you and be your friend?? All the energy in me had expanded in this stuttering sentence I blurted. Then she said she had to leave and with a dumb smile reciprocating her sweet ones. 'Just came back from school. I looked back at her for one final time.. before running and yelling at the top of my voice that I made it. I am none of the above. But when he stressed his point. Did I mention knocking onto the lamppost and actually apologized to it? It was two months since I knew her and we have always talk online. Five minutes went by and everything happened as smoothly as any successful mission. Every seconds is slipping passed me and beads of sweats broke out at strategic part of my forehead. I was. that nearly sweep me off my feet. so late still never sleep ar?' I heard my mum's voice lurking in the background.behind. Hi. as if expecting all that would happen and gave me a curious look. I can't let this final chance go by! She went through the gate of the estate by now and my mind is in state of desperation. we parted.. I tried learning to be one. Her name is Yukiko. which means snow in Japanese ?like her unblemished skin. Our relation are like good friends now.was wondering if I. you?' 'I waited for you to come online.. I delivered a light tap onto her shoulder. commanding me to finish the leftover food in the kitchen. Jerry said that guys must be sweet talkers and romantic. 'Cloud. She smiled faintly and gosh... Come on Cloud you could do it! OR you are gonna lose this chance forever!? A surge of false strength filled my veins as I ran towards her. she is a half Japanese who came to Singapore to study. My face is beginning to blush red with shyness as I waited for any respond. She turned around.
everyone talks about it.' 'I seen them come together and they have been together for 3 months plus. my mum with her pissed off face come knocking at my door. answer you another time.' Three months and you called that long? It's not even longer than a semester. that's a good attempt. Grinning from ear to ear. rant about it. Couples not suited for each other being force to be together is a painful thing. you could say that?' 'Then are we fated to know each other. it means that I can make use of this excuse to catch a movie with her! I am such a fast learner 'Ok! bye bye!' The next thing I see is the 'DISCONNECT' word on my computer. demanded that I finish the food left for me.' 'Fate.' Somehow girls are very affected over things happening to their friends in matters of love. Maybe that's why girls always tell one another about their personal problem? 'Well. I am such a dickhead. Just when I am stuck with her questions.' 'Really. so long.I know the laughter was just to cover my embarrassment. it seemed that the treating trick always works. Hey. 'Hey. but hey.' 'Come on. thank God about it. I am moody today. Err. Maybe that's why I have another point of view? But when it comes to myself.?' I always hated it whenever girls corner me with questions that neither YES nor NO is the right answer.it's getting common isn't it? Relationship are breaking up every now and then.? What happen?' 'My good friend just broke up with her boyfriend today.' 'You say wan ar. . so I know nuts about it. gif me a smile ok? I treat you movie next time. I see you tomorrow ok?' Well. I skip my way to the kitchen. 'Cloud. I have go off for now to eat supper. 'If they were meant to be together well. I have never gotten myself a girlfriend. 'Cloud! You are finally here!' . but when it comes to relation.?' Fate to me is like a legend. they will be together right? Sometimes not being together is a good thing. Guys would normally tell them to move on with their life and stuff. Maybe people involved will find it longer than it seemed to be. Cloud. whereas they would share their pain and sorrow or cry with them. I am a counsellor in school and people approach me for all kind of interpersonal relation problem.
rather I am pretty early using IRC entering our usual chat room.' A Chinese proverb came into my mind . even though are emotional creatures. but he ignore her. 'Yah I told her to move on with her life. No. 'She cried you know.they WANT someone to walk by them. 'Cloud.' .looked at the clock and it says 10 pm. 'Me? What about me?' 'What if something like that happens to you?' 'Er. I will try my best to be with her. whom you least expected it. It is like exposing yourself to danger through speaking.' Don't know what to do? Make yourself happy instead of lingering in this sorrowful event? Sometimes I really wonder if woman are that dumb? Or is it love that is making woman a vulnerable creature? And what makes you think THAT it is love? Woman. guys of these days are not looking for serious relation. so poor thing. 'I don't want to get a gf for the SAKE of getting one. they loved love. this would be the catalysis to explode my innermost views again.' Well. it won't lar. Without it. Be it emotionally. People. grow together. my good friend tried to patch back with her bf today. if I am her.' 'Why? Go get one?' . Why cry wasted tears over a relation that was never meant to be yours in the first place? Human. Really?.' 'y? something is wrong?' Ok baby. What about you Cloud?' Me? How come the topic is about me now? I always avoid questions whenever it comes to me in revealing my inner self. love their lovers. They are afraid to be alone . its meaningless don't you think? Relation nowadays are going nowhere because people just want to be in a relation. sexually or physically. in others. It is like salt and sugar in cooking. betray the trust you given to them and you will have to go through this series of utter disappointment and sadness.' All woman loves romance. I watch TOO much TV. then that guy said that he likes another girl. everything will just be a memory of what had taken place. Ok I admit.Tian ya he chu wu fang cao. doing stuff together and most importantly. People have to get to know and go through more relation before they could realise that who is the right one for them what. I don't mind being alone . I am not late. in their first love. after a period of time.I like it! Until maybe when the special one comes along. whatever relation will be bland. I don't even have a gf. but she loved him so much and she couldn't believe that he like someone else. I will also dunno what the do.
. signalling to my victory of words. you say the other time you wanna treat me movie right?' Ok. She showed me the real innocence of a young lady. its almost 12 and my Cinderella has to leave.1.' 'Aww. All hail cupid for the golden opportunity! Ok.' I have to leave too. 'You make me blushed. ok!' My mind was cheering and screaming in rejoice.I can't take advantage of her innocence right? 'Cloud. ' From a close defeated battle. I want to stay single. such is mentality of a woman. naturally cute and THIS is the reasons that stop me from jioing her . Somehow. my hypnotic statement has hinted her! YEAH! Lets watch movie together tomorrow ok?' Er. but we talk everything else. 'I girl mah. My fingers speed through the keyboard and finally stop at the last word. to guide her along. When you say that they look like toilet.Oh yeah. I don't want you to see me go.she is VERY naïve and this creates an impulse for me to protect her. that why will also be like that.There was an unaccustomed silence after I type that paragraph.' She is such a poor liar.ok I count to 3 and leave. She is too cute to stay single. You are right Cloud. I have eventually emerge the winner as I continue to chat with her for the next two hours. no I am not cute. its getting late. HAHAHAHA!' Why is it that I must laugh every time I attempt a MUSHY statement? A lousy cover for my embarrassment. until the special one comes along too. how could cute girls like her possibly stay single? Guys will try all sorts of ways to get her and she would finally succumb to one.gone!' . untainted and pure. 'Cloud. during these periods of knowing her. Oh @$$@! Have I just ruined my good impression? I discern its time to celebrate with Jerry about my first failure. they would tell you they look ugly.'Oh wait. I have to go already. I love the way she is. I loved to chat with her as she is way so different from all the other girls .' Hooray!! I could see my happiness on the computer screen. When you praise a girl pretty. I had never asked about the background of her family or sort.2. saying you look worst. he retaliate and bites back. '3.' I can't believe I am doing this SILLY business. Cloud you log off first.
anyway what matter most is who I am watching with.' 'It's ok. totally excited about tomorrow's event. She looked really shy and reply with a soft thanks. Nevertheless. I commented on how gorgeous she looked today. was weird but comprehendible. she gain comfort from my company and from chatting. we will check it out later. I can never forget. I am just early myself. It is not polite to be late for a date for the first time anyway. I was stoned watching her coming. I bought another ice-blended mocha for her as she said she wanted the same. We chatted for a while . Slipping my favourite ice blended mocha. What load of crap! As I was trying to entertain myself to relieve some amount of tension in me. I really meant what I said. After finishing our drinks.Plaza Singapura. Her Japanese accent with little tint of singlish that comes along with it. 'Sorry I am late. more female. Woah.' She blushed and I nearly died saying that sentence. but hey. it grew some laughter in it. I simply love girls wearing skirts. I was daydreaming about today's soccer match I played and started pondering over life issues and soccer. I did not understand what she was saying. Hey. after we decide and made purchase for Shallow Hal. I looked up and saw her smiling and making her way towards me.I couldn't get to sleep on that day. I waited.' 'So what movie are we watching?. we made our way to the Cinema. Gradually. It was comedy show and Jerry said that comedies is good way to remember a first date.Jerry told me to soften her up with the conversation as she will most likely be as tense as I am. Actually at times (lucky thing it wasn't frequent). although horror show seemed like a whole lot better option to me. its Ok.the smell. not the show. She is simply stunning and like a critical hit. the location we suppose to meet. she looked so cute. Going out with a girl? I had never been out with one before! Praying at my bedside sincerely that nothing will crewed up on that day.40 pm and I was at Starbucks (20 minutes before appointment point) . more. I sense her presence . At least she won't be crying while watching a sad movie and I had to cheer her up later.' 'Nah. erm. I guess it was just something to start conversation. Hiak! . you never know when you gonna get hit by the ball in your face. I am pro huh? HAHAHA! Smiling at my flippant words. It makes them looked. especially when she smiled that I have this burning urge to pinch her cheek. Life is like soccer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------It was 8. White spaghetti straps top with jean skirts.
I will appear **** shallow. Gawd! I need the best of both world answer. which was my first fear. That's why I don't like good-looking guys. while she giggled uncontrollably.' She shaped a smile from her lips.'Cloud. If I say no I am lying to myself.' 'Why must guys like pretty girls?' I was momentarily taken aback by a sudden question. 'Because human like to see pretty things? I mean you would like to see good looking guys too right?' 'But good-looking guys don't give me security. I asked myself and the answer that came up doesn't seemed too good. but I love her reply. 'Well. He judged woman by appearance and in the end he got hypnotize by this guy who made him sees woman by their character instead of physical beauty. the ultimate shallow guy.The movie is talking about Hal Larsen. What the hell? Well.I am decent looking. without realizing that she is not what he thinks she looked like. Oh man. I am not good looking .' My heart screamed another point of victory. We boarded the bus. cute girls like. She blushed and tapped my head lightly. just like me laughing whenever I made mushy remarks. Rosemary. . that is the real world. I could see watery tears rimming around Yukiko's eyes. 'Me?' I was trying to buy time as she nodded her head almost immediately. you!' My system was undergoing this contained stress and it is making me go nuts every time she throws questions like these to stumble me. don't bother about him. the second closest to handsome. I always seen him talking to other passengers. of course. We walked out of the Cinema and out of Plaza Singapura. 'Boy ar. The story is a mixture of hearts.We recognized the bus driver. while I tried to reassure her that the world was still spinning and it was only a show.' I know that sentence was just to cover her embarrassment. We choose a seat at the far back and sat down 'This driver is always very chatty. I think I am not gonna wash my hair today. do you think there are people like that?' Sure.last time you both dunno each other wan right?' It was the bus driver and I nodded in faintly agreement with him and smiled my way through. at the very least she understand the story. 'What about you Cloud? Do you like pretty girls too?' THIS KIND of question AGAIN? If I said yes. 'Don't be silly. get to know her liao. the same bus 171 where we always take . Even though she never really answered my question. laughs and emotions and at the end of the show. I think I prefer. not bad ar. the lead actress came into the picture and he fell in love with her. I decided to sent her home by bus as I think this is the very least what a guy should do.
' Oh ! .. We got down and I insisted in sending her all the way till her block.someone to guide. someone to be there regardless of whether you two are together . every date has to part eventually right? I watched her fade into her estate and until I caught zero glimpse of her. Maybe next time I would. I should have just pop the question and leave the thinking to her. I am score an F9 for it. Her parents are overseas working.finally she is talking more about herself. Jerry. Noooooooo.Suddenly. Maybe this is what true love is. one for me. I know she longs for my company like I longs for hers. shield and depend. she consulted me and I will be there to give my expertise advice.' 'That all?.' I looked at her origami made from bus tickets and wondered whether I should do something similar. she told me she couldn't go out very often as her guardian is very strict . One for you. so I made this two heart myself. I decide to avoid the question using my avoidance tactics. Whatever problems she has. We are like one in-separate-able pair of best friend.' What do you mean that's all? Oh dear. after all life is too short to spend on one person. which contribute reasons for her character. Am I in heaven? I have nothing to give you. said that I am wasting too much time on a single girl. I have something to ask you.' Oh no. I have to say something that she wants to hear or forever I will be condemn in her eyes. leaving her all alone.I thanked her.' I nodded and finally relented. It's not good if I am being seen by my neighbours with a guy so late at night you know. but when is the right time? 'Cloud. not again? 'What do you think of me?. But the urge to reveal my feeling hasn't reached to such stage for desperation yet. Well. when it comes to expressing to HER. the woman's men. For the next few months. . I appreciate her effort though . we chatted everyday and each time I felt that I am slipping into this pit of angelic darkness called love. Look away first!' I did as I was told and after five minutes she hold my waist and put her fist onto my hands. peer evaluating time! Even though I speak easily to myself.. It's ok. 'Cute? And you are a very good friend of mine. she took the bus tickets I was holding. Finally her stop arrived and she had to align. I am in LOVE with TODAY.
we meet at Mac at Parklane ok?' '/me nodded her head.'There is a lot of things in my heart that I feel about you. . that's what TV drama always show. Guess that I have to wait for tomorrow to see her again. where we could look out towards the roadside. her nick has quit IRC. with me. Before I could reply with anything. she allow me to go out tomorrow. We went into Mac and sat near the window seats. she stood in front of me. As I was busy throwing impossible scenarios into the pictures to cease my tension. but in this short span of time. but nevertheless her sparkling eyes never loses its glow. I feel bad if you have to wait for me. lucky thing I manage to come out with this marvellous sentence. 'Cloud.' I smiled at her consideration for me. the effect of TOO much TV. I am beginning to learn the trades of using words. I noticed her face is getting fairer and whiter to the extend of being pale. borrow from me and then disappear into thin air. It seemed that after the episode of knowing her. Maybe she needed a large sum of money. waiting for her outside Macdonald patently. I didn't know how to reply her smile and decide to leave it until she reply me with something else. As I looked up. again. can we meet for dinner tomorrow?' Another date! Yeah I screamed literally at my computer scream as she is able to go out once more.' Phew. this time about 15 minutes earlier. Reckoning about her sudden wanting to meet me suggested motives. 'Sure! What about your guardian? She allows you to go out?' 'Yes. 'Waited long?' 'Only about 5 minutes. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------I arrived early as usual.' My first lie I made to her. hiak.' Ok I have to go offline now. remember don't be so early ok?. Five minutes went by and I am starting ponder whether I should reply anything. I want to let you know that treasure you a lot. I can't express it out.' 'Ok. Must be the effect of those skin whitening Japanese beauty product. But it was for good cause. But regardless of what is it.
I eat anything. dumb or whatever!. The sky is densely clouded and the breezes is strong. What you mean?' 'Before those day when you wanted to know me. Less than an instant. but she always responded.' What? There are other idiots doing the same thing too? Oh well.' You eat anything. I spoke some joke and she giggled a little as we continue to our meals.' 'Oh really?. Sometimes I feel that she is the only person in the world that appreciate what I am doing . just revelling in nature's enjoyment. I noticed that she was looking at me with such mesmerizing effect that I nearly unbalanced myself 'Cloud. It is not much. just like two hearts melted in one. considering her lovable nature and attractiveness. 2 packets of large fries.simple and sincere. I don't know what was the problem may be.'What do you want. Why must woman always bring up the topic of fate everytime when it comes to relation of any kind? I nodded my head a little. only ******* guys would do that and being a good guy. I must have seen like a pervert or something to you right?.' I went to buy for her and decide upon Mac Nuggets Meal as she is a small eater. cute. I am NOT surprised. I tried to cheer her up a little as the topic she started were on the emotional side.' Good? What you mean good? You mean you want me to trick you to bed and after that meet about for sessions like this? Thinking back. I should give in. looking at the nightly sky. I shall uphold my reputation. Suddenly she position and lean herself on my back with her head facing up. She seemed a little solemn today and I reckoned that if there is anything I could give in to her. Reached in while moment. but just nice enough for comfort. till now. 2 large coke and two boxes of 6-pieces nugget was on the tray as I carried them. I told myself never would I forget such day. I realize that you are different from other guys that wanted to know me. We spoke nothing. I was actually getting a little irritated when you stalked me. We sat down side by side and watched the waves continual sweeping up the shores.be it stupid. We finished our meals and were playing with our straws like little kids. But then again. and must be fated that will know each other right?' Fate again. As we had our little 'fighting'. 'Can we go somewhere where I could see the sea?' We took a taxi down to Marina Bay. we got out and walked close to the shores where the waves roar in protest from the raging winds. silly.' She giggled out of a sudden and I wondered what she meant. but all my mind was telling me was to make her happy . . I looked into her eyes and her eyes seemed to tell me that she may have gone through a lot of in during these period. I buy for you. The first intimate bodily contact I had with a girl back to back. why are you so good to me?. 'You are my best friend and appreciated it. Somehow.
' The atmosphere is getting intense and to make matter worst.' I looked at the sky and to me. all I thought of is to shield her from the chilling rain as I didn't want her to fall sick.' Like a prick on bubbles. but halfway through.' Actually I was wondering why she sobbed. it appeared as if it's going to rain soon. we could chat on the phone whenever we can and I think we better leave now. 'I don't think I have computer or internet connection at my house. an internal implosion occurred within me. but it seemed that maybe she wants to bring out something to tell me and I suspect it is nothing good. As if a soldier going for war. my gaze never left hers . little barrier and covers her head. would you remember me?. I nodded my head to her question and her gaze move onto the rough sea. its nothing much. 'Why? I will never forget you. I could see a layer of wetness in her eyes. 'I understand. in the present moment. It is **** dumb and I don't understand why am I doing such acts . rolling her vision between the sea and the sky before looking down.it won't block the rain from drenching her. the merciless weather started pouring heavily. Then she stopped leaning on me. in my mind. Even though I just had a shock from what she had just told me. Can we still contact through IRC?' I was hoping for a small miracle. its ok. 'Cloud.' 'Yes of course! I will!. she isn't my girlfriend or something. I had to put on a brave front. it's going to rain. but at least I could still talk to her online.The sky is beautiful right?.I have decide not to avoid it. I can't demand her not to leave.' We both got up and walked hastily towards the road in trying to catch a cab. . Girls of her age needs their parents to be with them more than friends..' Even though I am fighting inside. 'Will you come and visit me if I ask you to?. your parents are over there and they worried for you.. have to go back Japan. I pray that I will never wake up from it. We studied each other gaze for a moment and after what seemed like eternity. Then. I. Well. and looked into me. My hands formed a tiny. Don't tell me all the fantasy I am having is coming to an end? If this was a dream. is there something wrong?' She kept quiet. the I could feel a drop of water falling on my skin.
heaven makes sport of men. Gradually.Chicken Essence. I gulped down the entire bottle and sat by my study table in my room. I am suppose to tell you earlier. like an awaken baby in the morning. It's terrible! Would you see me off?. come. again.the cab reached her place and lucky thing. she was in my embrace and I was stroking her soaked hair. I never turn back to even have my last glance. but I can't bear to. 'You are so silly Cloud. we should just keep this the last meeting then.' I actually managed to smile and kept this mask of mine. reality is extremely cruel .1. My index finger teased her dimples a little as she felt tickled and ruffled her head in between my arms and chest All good things must come to an end . bringing me the usual examination brain tonic . It has been a few months since I last saw or heard from her. we were in the cab pretty drenched.waiting for THAT day. My mind and soul won't be able to endure the parting scene. my feelings would be just like dying patients with the last stage of cancer . Her eyes were kept closed and my fingers travelled to her cheeks. rubbing her arms to gain some heat. Pinching lightly to fulfil my long awaited-desire.' She is right. we both just walk off to our destination and never look back ok? She nodded and I could see her tears closed to spilling out.' Tomorrow? Did I just hear wrongly? What's the rush? Sometimes. I looked out of my room's window and thought of Yukiko. for some reasons. By the count of three. perhaps it's better if we keep it this way.?' 'Tomorrow.' It was close to my June examination and my mum knocked and came into my room. this brave front indestructible. After the scene at her estate and we promise not to look back at each other. '3. there is this robust urge of seeing her every second. It remains on my face emotionlessly and dead. there was shelter to her house. she opened her eyes. Well. but if I were to see her off.Then. I told the uncle to wait for a while and got out of the cab with her. I feel that I already had my last glance when I spoke my last words to her.' In my heart. I told the uncle to reduce the air-con to the lowest and put my arms around her shoulder. the scene would be unimaginable. Working through last year papers has driven me to the pinnacle of madness. I think. I saw a coming taxi driving and I flagged it.2.' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------Boy ar. If she told me earlier. drink this. As I . 'When are you leaving then.' The next thing I knew.
I can't use the phone here for very long too. I rubbed my eyes a little and stretched. 'Sorry.' 'For making me worried and missing you so badly.depart.' There was no respond. I went back to my books and paper and continue began working on it. 'Miss me?. but no she wasn't. For a guy's image. how you know it was me?. literally. but I finally succumb to my inner self and wanted to make sure I won't think back and regret on the fact that I never check whether she was online that day. Is this piece of dreamland meant to be only a dream? Tomorrow is the beginning of my exam. I don't know why she never contacts me since then. I don't mind the duration of her calls . or maybe she has forgotten me? No can't be! How can that be? How can the scenarios that have been taken place be so easily forgotten? The day I knew her.I just wanted to hear her voice so badly. but I know she has her reasons.' Actually. I controlled myself emotionally and force my tears back to its origin. 'How. the cuddle and every other tiny little details. Boy ar! Your phone!' My phone? At such hours of the night? 'Hello?. Yukiko?? Is that you?' I was praying and gripping the phone hard. you shall treat me movie the next time I see you.' I smart what! Hey! I never hear from you SO LONG!' I emphasised on the words 'So long' as if I had never heard anything from her for few decades. The first thing I did was to told her to hang on for a moment and screamed at the top of my voice. My happiness could not contain inside me and I need to release it. the unexpected rain. I know it already passed midnight. I can't allow such feelings to overpower me. the beach. telling myself not to ponder over past issues as it may affect my exam performance. Maybe she lost my number over there. our chats. Then I scolded her. hoping that a miracle could happen. maybe she is busy adapting to her new life. straws fighting. the movie.' . I went online that day and see if she was there using another nick. for not contacting me and making me so worried for her. dinner. but somehow I had this feeling that it was her. in gentle tone.
' Next sat?.today is the last paper.' With that a heavy heart our conversation ended as I put the phone down. From morning till night. determined to do well so that I could psycho my mum to pay for my trip. I hurried my revision. I examined the envelope and it wrote ' To Cloud' on the front. I don't want you to see me hang up on you.I used the same trick again. In preparation for the coming trip to Japan. provided I give her my words that my results will be good when it is out.?' 'Yes? You want me to go over? Ok sure. 'Cloud. doing my revision. Before I put down. Yeah I will see her soon! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------'Boy ar. Regardless. but I love the surprises Cupid has in store for me. tell me your address. everything is worth it. HAHAHA! We spoke on the phone and talked like old friends and the pressing examination stress seemed to have vanished. I tear opened and a letter fell out. can't talk anymore. Curiously.Yeah. I have been studying non-stop. I was hoping in my heart that time will freeze so that we could chat till the end of time. that is when?' Maybe 28 May or slightly later. For the sake of going over.' Huh? A letter for me? I had never receive a letter addressed to me before. she would pay for my tickets. . in amidst of studying. like all other days. Cloud. I was home. I got to go already.' I jolted down her contacts in Japan and kiss it.' Take lots of care ok? I can't wait to see you soon!' You put down first Cloud. is there anything you want to tell me?. Then. a letter for you. I thank you God for giving me this chance!! HOORAY! *Days passed* Finally I am close to finishing my examination . Dear Cloud. remember that day when I ask you if you would visit me in Japan and you said you would. tell me your address?. even though little setbacks filled along the way. examination?. my mum calls for me and I guess it must be regarding the trip over. I will go over right after my examination next sat. although my mind wandered on the thought of seeing her again. My mum says that if I do finish this examination. I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE! I want to see her so badly and life has been good to me. Hehz.
By then you would know the truth and I could see you for the last time. if there is one person I wouldn't want to see crying . but no wrong liking you what right? You told me you rather wait for the special one. During the time when I was cuddling in you. at least. My operation begins on 24 May and I will call you maybe a week plus before to fulfil the promise you said you would come over and visit me in Japan. but I am determine to finish what I had to say. I don't like them because I like guys like YOU unique and extraordinary. I know you are putting on a brave front because as a woman I could cry and I know you would be there to console me. I did looked back. Cloud. because I feared that I may not have the chance to see you again this lifetime. in vain. as I will always be around you. You said you are not romantic at all. your advices. I love you.it would have been you. very much. not the way you looked. If there is one thing final question I want you to ask me. but someone has to be the stronger one to console and reassure right? The reasons why I have to go back to Japan is because I am suffering from a rare case of a blood cancer that may claim my life very soon if it is not treated. Perhaps it is just one sided. leaving my physical body. it would be you asking me whether if I like good-looking guys. The success rate of this operation is only 30% and anything could happen. to protect me from the rain today. but to me. it means that I am already gone. This distinct character could only be found in you and I want you to kept it that way for I like the way you are. So I want to tell you that I appreciate your company. . leaving this world. you are the best a guy could be. I am feeling a little tired writing this letter. My parents wants me to go back to take a major operation there because if this operation were to fail. everything you did or said. if you receive this letter through mail send by my guardian. No. and I told you I will also wait for mine. or I am already in heaven watching over you. But do not despair. shielding you like what you did.Before I began. I knew that you are the one. I would disappear from the surface of the world and they wants to be with me during this period. Actually I broke the promise. although you never express yourself to me. I apologise for not telling you everything about myself. that's why I ask you if you would come to visit me if I ask you to. I hope that the cab could drive slower because I may not get the chance to cuddle in you again. I giggled to myself every night after we chatted online and I began to ask myself if I fell in love with you. leaving my suffering and of course. I wrote this letter on the night when we parted and promise not to look back. In this world. But then again. You may find a girlfriend by then. I guess I did. just like Rosemary in the movie we watched together.
why your girlfriend not with you ar?. I knew something is happening to me.Yukiko Tears I have been fighting back.' . Why DIDN'T I LEFT Singapore to Japan? I should have hack care about my examination to be with her. She was waiting for me to pop the question! And I never did! I should have fuc-king listen to Jerry. I never spoke much because I was hurt. most of the times. totally confused and helpless.' I smiled at him and pointed to my heart. I could let her know HOW MUCH she meant to me and how much I loved her. I waited for the bus and soon. made me sink deeper into this whirlpool of depression. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As expected. I sat at the bus stop where I first saw her and every scene replay itself in my mind. 'Nope! She is with me. my results were good. it arrived. 'Eh boy ar. disappointed and regretted beyond words.although this could never happen and thinking of it. like a drama. At the very least. like a baby in crossfire. I was at the verge of mental breakdown. lying at the mercy of my ill-fated destiny. I should not. I clutched my head tightly as trains of disillusioned thoughts sinks into my mind. I was rooted to the ground. have cruel consequences regardless of which options I chose. I recalled that she still owe me a movie treat . I took it and realise that it was the same bus driver again.27 May. Clutching tightly onto the heart origami that she made. Decisions. her final days. weeping silently to myself for the tears I owe her and for the lack of courage to express my feeling. all the time. Since that day. at this time broke from my resistance barrier and roll down my cheek as I saw the date today . I should not have delay the trip over. I was crying. totally defeated.
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